#battle!ruddiger

[planetary-gus]

Late Nights and Long Talks

Full version on Ao3: here

Fandom: Varian and the 7 Kingdoms

Prompt: Insomnia

Varian just couldn't sleep sometimes. He'd been this way since he was a kid.

His dad had often stayed up late trying to get him to sleep despite his numerous protests that he "just couldn't sleep"

Luckily, he gave up by the time Varian was 8, but Varian continued averaging only 4-5 hours of sleep per night.

In the beginning, when he was little, it frustrated his toddler brain. He was supposed to sleep at night. Why couldn't he sleep?

However, by the time he was 5, he just accepted that this was his life.

Night became the time that he would think of his best ideas, and he could concentrate without people bothering him.

By the time he was 14, he'd been used to this for well over 10 years.

He spent most of his time trying to break the amber, unfortunately to no avail, and the little sleep he did get in that time was plagued by nightmares of the amber consuming not only his father, but Ruddiger, and all of Old Corona, and eventually it came for him. Sometimes it was of the black rocks. But it was primarily the amber.

Once he got arrested, he really started to hate his insomnia.

He couldn't sleep through the night, so he had no other option but to sit in his cold, dark cell, and just like it had been for the past few months, any sleep he got was plagued with nightmares of the amber. And of the rocks. And of that night of the battle in Old Corona. And if he dared to cry over these nightmares the guards would reprimand him and, in the words of the captain "give him a real reason to cry"

By 16, once his father had been freed from the amber and he'd gotten out of the amber, it started to get better for him. He still had nightmares of the amber, and now of the prison, but they weren't as bad as they were before now that he was home.

But then he got kidnapped, and everything with Zhan Tiri happened.

And the kidnapping joined his little club of nightmares by the time he was 17.

Now he's 18.

Laying on the ground, in his tent.

It's around 1 in the morning according to the small clock he made.

And he can't sleep.

He's gone to Hugo after nightmares or on occasions like this where he just can't get to sleep before.

Hugo seems to have the same issues regarding sleep as he does.

So, he does the logical thing, and he gets up, puts his shoes and gloves on, and makes his way to the engineer's tent.

[rachelbethhines]

PotP Ch 55 - Blizzards, Blackbirds, and Bargains: Part 1

Snow.

Varian hated snow.

It wasn't always such. In his youth, he had loved winter. Snow days were meant for play. He'd make hot cocoa, ice skate, pick frost berries, and build snow forts for snowball battles with the local kids. Once he invented a machine that helped carve ice sculptures... until it caught on fire and melted them all.

But that was before the amber.

Varian could tell that it was snowing before he ever even poked his head out from under the covers.

First, the cold morning air; unusually cold for San Fransokyo. Then there was the soft diffused light from the frosted window pane shining in his bedroom. There was also the quiet stillness; near unheard of in the big city. Finally there was the fiamiler fresh scent of ice. It lacked the undertones of fir and pine that he was used to, but he could still tell.

A look outside confirmed his worst fears.

Especially when Ruddiger came through the window and shook the white powdery stuff off his fur.

Varian groaned, kicked off the covers, and made his way to the kitchen.

----------------

"What are you hunting for?" Aunt Cass asked with a yawn.

"I guess we don't have any tripe, do we?" Varian asked in kind as he rummaged in the cupboards.

"Ummm... pretty sure we don't. Why do we need tripe?"

"It's snowing."  

Aunt Cass blinked, unsure of what the connection was. "Snowing?"

"I used to make tripe stew on snow days." Varian explained. "It's just easy and warms the castle up."

"Oh... well... we don't have any tripe, b-but we do have some bacon." She opened the fridge and started rummaging around. "Maybe we can improvise and make some bean and bacon soup instead? Start a new tradition, huh?"

She retrieved the bacon and smiled wide as she offered her suggestion to Varian.

Varian half-heartedly returned her smile and took the meat from her.

Aunt Cass frowned at his lack of enthusiasm.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, pausing him in his hunt for the beans. "Hey, I know sometimes you get homesick, and that's okay. Everything is different here, and it's a readjustment. But If you need anything you know you can talk to me."

Varian shook his head. "It's not that. "

Aunt Cass's brow furrowed in confusion, but rather than explain, Varian just said, "The bacon's a good idea. Tripe is too chewy anyway." and went back to digging around in the pantry.

----------------

Honey Lemon watched the pink puff balls on her boots bounce up and down as she gingerly stepped off the trolley. The railed carts were the only safe way to travel in this weather as most people in San Fansokyo didn’t own cars with snow tires, including Gogo, who stepped off of the trolley after her. They spotted Fred waving at them both from across the street as they walked over towards the Lucky Cat; very carefully, so as to not slip on any ice.

“Hey, glad you made it!” Tadashi greeted them, as he held a large snowball in his hand. He placed it on top of an even bigger snowball and he and Hiro both started patting extra snow along the seam where the two met.

“We’re building a snow sculpture of Baymax.” Fred explained as he joined them.

Just then Wasabi opened the door to the cafe. “I found the eyes!” He called out as he carried a small cardboard box. Baymax shuffled along behind him.

“What did you get?” Hiro asked him.

“Chocolate covered coffee beans!” He proclaimed as he pulled out a small container of the treats.

“Oooh, I want some!” Fred exclaimed and practically crawled over Wasabi to rummage in the box he held.

Honey Lemon laughed. “You better not eat all of Varian’s stash. He might be tearing the cafe apart looking for those later.” She gently warned.

“Where is Varian anyway?” Gogo asked.

Tadashi shrugged. “Upstairs. He’s been in the kitchen all morning with Aunt Cass.”

“I’ll go get him.” Honey Lemon offered and skipped inside.

Her glasses started fogging up as soon she entered the much warmer cafe. She paused to take them off and rubbed them clean on her matching pink sweater. This only got lint on them, so she wiped them on her jeans instead. Satisfied, she put them back on only to find Aunt Cass coming downstairs to greet her.

“Hi,” She sang out. “I’m glad you and Gogo made it here safe.”

“Hi Aunt Cass. Yeah, the roads weren’t too bad and the trolleys are still running. I thought I’d ask Varian to join us. Is he still upstairs?”

“He is, he’s in the kitchen, however...” Aunt Cass sighed as she poured herself a coffee. “I don’t know how much he’ll want to get out. He’s been pretty shut in all day. Buuuut, if anyone can encourage him to come outside, it’ll probably be you.”

She gave her a sweet smile before heading outside herself to check on the rest of the teens.

Honey Lemon watched her go with a frown. Varian must be in one of his moods again, and no one ever quite knew what to expect when Varian became gloomy. She also didn’t know what she could do that Aunt Cass probably hadn’t already tried.

Still, she took a deep breath and made her way up the stairs.

She found Varian in the upstairs kitchen just like everyone had said. He was sitting at the table reading a large leather bound tome, while a pot on the stove was boiling away. Honey Lemon recognized the book. It was the fantastical grimoire that held the secrets to the magical portal that would send him home. The thought of which filled her with dread, but best not to bring it up now.

“It smells good.” She said with a smile as she came up from behind him.

Varian looked up from the spellbook, startled by her voice, and turned to look at her. “Oh yeah, umm, Aunt Cass and I are making bean and bacon soup. Sorry, I didn’t know you were coming, or I would have made you a vegan option.”

“It’s okay, I can just pick around the bacon.” She shrugged as she lifted the lid off of the pot to look at the soup. “Beans sound like a good supper to me.”

“It’s chicken stock as the base.” Varian warned. “Here, I think we still have some dried beans. I’ll just make you a small pot of your own.”

“Oh, you don’t need to go to any trouble on my account.”

“What trouble?” He asked as he pulled out the bag of dried beans. “All you do is put it in a pot and let it boil for a while. Look to see if there’s any vegetable stock in the cabinet over there.”

Honey Lemon followed his suggestion and quickly found the container of stock next to the other broths. She poured some into another small pot, along with the beans, as Varian started raiding the spice cabinet.

“What do you want in it?” He asked. “Shallot, a bit of celery salt, oooh, how about some chili power for a little kick, huh?”

He gave her a Cheshire smile and waved the plastic shaker full of pepper at her.

She only shrugged in response. “Anything is good with me.”

Varian took this as permission to experiment and pulled out a whole bunch of spices. He happily went to work seasoning the small pot of what was quickly becoming vegan chili.

“What do you think we should have with our soup?” He asked. “Aunt Cass thinks we should just toast the leftover baguettes downstairs and make croutons, but I think we should make some fresh bread.”

“Why not both?” Honey Lemon awkwardly asked. She didn’t like being caught in the middle of any sort of disagreement, even a mild one like this.

“I like the way you think.” Varian agreed, and Honey Lemon felt relief wash over her. Varian didn’t seem to be in a bad mood at all. Perhaps what had bothered him earlier today had been forgotten, or maybe he had worked through it.

“Shall we go for a sourdough, or a dark rye... Oh hey, I’ve never made cornbread before. That’d be fun. Something new?” Varian gave her a wide smile and Honey Lemon returned it.

“I’m down for something new.” She agreed. However, as Varian started to gather up the ingredients she decided to press on with why she was here. “Speaking of fun. Everyone is outside building a snowman. You wanna join in?”

Varian paused in shifting the cornmeal and started to stare blankly at the opposite wall. Then he shook his head and went back to cooking.

“No, it’s alright. You go on ahead, and I’ll just keep fixing our dinner.”

“Well... dinner’s not for hours.” Honey Lemon nervously suggested. She could feel the change in Varian’s mood the way one would feel the temperature drop. “Why don’t you take a break and do this later?”

Varian paused in what he was doing and turned to face her with a cold frown.

“I.. don’t like snow,” He said carefully. “I would rather not.”

He then turned away from her and placed the mixing bowl on the stand mixture. “You can go on ahead though. Y'all have fun.”

He said this in a much lighter tone, but Honey Lemon couldn’t dismiss the sudden change in attitude. Especially not with the grimoire still lying there on the table.

“Is... is everything alright?” She asked.

“Yeah... yeah, everything is fine. Snow is... just not my thing.” He lied to her. “After all, it’s not that special when you get it regularly every winter.”

“Do... do you get a lot of snow in Corona?” She timidly asked as she placed her hands behind her back.

Varian finally turned to look at her, and he gave her the most peculiar stare; as if he was simultaneously seeing all of her, and through her at once, looking past her at some distant memory that she wasn’t privy to.

“We get far too much.” He said ominously, and Honey Lemon didn’t want to know what he meant by that.

She sighed, accepting defeat. “Well I thought I would just ask... promise me though... that you won’t stay cooped up in the kitchen at least. You’ll come down stairs for hot cocoa, right?”

Varian gave her a small, sad smile. “Alright, I promise.”

“Okay,” She nodded.”I’ll come and get you when we do that. Sounds good?”

“Yeah, I’ll see ya then. In the meantime I’ll fix the rest of dinner.”

Honey Lemon pursed her lips and gave a tight smile before awkwardly turning to leave. She did however turn back to look at Varian one final time before heading downstairs. His back was turned towards her now as he continued to make the cornbread. Her eye landed on the spellbook again, and for one brief moment she wished she could throw the thing in the trash.

----------------

The storm only got worse throughout the day. By the time lunch rolled around all the roads were completely closed, with announcements that the trolleys would soon stop running and shut down early for the day, and the news was advising people to stay at home.

Everyone agreed therefore to an impromptu sleepover in the living room.

Board games, movies, hot cocoa, and pillow forts with pillow fights helped to pass the time away.

Aunt Cass yawned as she finished handing out the last of the blankets. "Man, this snow day has worn me out. I'm heading to bed early. Just don't stay up too late. Good Night."

"Night Aunt Cass." The chorus of college kids rang out behind her.

"I'm with Aunt Cass," Wasabi yawned himself as he laid down on his makeshift pallet on the floor. "I'm pooped."

His beauty rest  was short-lived when Rudigger crawled up on his chest, circled around once, and then curled up to sleep.

Wasabi frowned before picking the wild creature up and putting him down on the floor. "Hey now. I am not a pillow"

He then readjusted his sleep mask and laid back down again, only for Ruddiger to ignore his warning and perch upon the scientist's chest once more.

Wasabi's ensuing battle with the raccoon for dominance was ignored by everyone.

"Well, I for one think we shouldn't end any good sleepover without ghost stories." Tadashi mischievously smiled as he flopped on the couch.

"Varian's got a good vampire story to tell." Hiro chimed in. "You know, that one you told during the camping trip."

Varian, who was already laying down on his own pallet on the floor, heaved a sigh. "I'm not really up for stories. I'm pretty tired as well."

Gogo frowned. "Hey, is everything alright? "

"Yeah, you've been pretty bummed out all day." Fred added bluntly.

"It... it's nothing." Varian insisted. "I'm just not a fan of the cold."

And with that he pulled the cover up higher and turned on his side. Everyone shared knowing looks as he pretended to sleep, but all thought it best not to press the matter.

"Well, I guess it's up to me then." Tadashi sighed as a knowing smile played on his lips. "How about the one about…”

----------------

Tadashi was midway through his ghost story when the power went out. 

Varian had only been half paying attention but his eyes snapped open and he bolted upright at the sudden darkness. 

He vaguely heard screaming, but he couldn't tell if it was just himself or the others. 

“Ha. ha. Very funny Tadashi.” Wasabi yelled into the darkness sarcastically. 

“It wasn't me.” The other boy protested. 

That's when Baymax’s chest lit up and produced a weather report. 

“The news is reporting temporary power outages across the city. Citizens are recommended to stay inside and keep warm while the electric company works on the lines. Power should be back shortly.” The robot helpfully informed. “In the meantime I will activate my built-in heater.”

Varian could see a few of the teens make their way over to the glowing automaton and snuggle up to it. Others wrapped their blankets around them tighter. 

All except Hiro, who had made his way over to him. 

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked in a low voice. 

Not low enough to Varian’s liking however, as he put on his usual front. “Yeah I'm fine.” 

“I didn't think Tadashi’s story was that scary.” Gogo added, commenting on everyone else's earlier screams. 

“Just because you're not afraid of anything Gogo..” Honey Lemon started but Fred interrupted her. 

“Nuh uh… She’s afraid of leprechauns, remember?” 

“Leprechauns?” Tadashi snorted. 

Gogo rolled her eyes. “It's from that stupid movie that came out when we were kids. I was five. Okay.” 

“Oh Unlucky Charms!” Tadashi nodded recognizing the film. “Okay, I can see why that would creep a kid out. Not me of course… but…” 

“Oh stop lying.” Hiro needled his brother. “I know what you're afraid of.” 

“Oh come on… no… not that.” Tadashi begged. 

“He’s weirded out by the Share Bears.” 

Tadashi groaned and literally everyone else burst out laughing. Everyone but Varian. 

“Bears can be scary.” 

“No he means the Share Bears.” Wasabi tried to explain. 

“It's a cartoon.” Honey Lemon added through her snickers. 

“Yeah, a cartoon for babies.” Fred chimed in. “Seriously bro?” 

“Hey, they're disturbing. Alright?” Tadashi defended himself. 

“How are teddy bears that teach kids manners 'disturbing’?” Gogo asked. 

“Because they don't teach anything. They brainwash people into being perfect little mindless drones with those heartfilled laser beams. I'm telling you guys, it's a messed up show. Also Hiro had one of those stuffed animals as a kid and it would not die. I'd bury it in the backyard and three months later it was back in the toy box singing ‘I love you very much’ in its high-pitched voice over and over again.” 

“So in other words, your parents found it outside and put new batteries in it.” Wasabi stated matter of factly. 

“That's just it,” Tadashi insisted. “There were no batteries in it. I checked!” 

“Ooooh… now that is creepy.” Fred whispered. 

Gogo rolled her eyes. "So we got leprechauns, share bears, " she pointed to Fred, "spiders," then to Wasabi, "heights," and lastly to Honey Lemon, "and hippos... for some reason."

"Hippos?" Varian couldn't help asking in spite of himself.

"Hippos are mean." Honey Lemon defended herself. "They bully all of the other animals. Even crocodiles are afraid of them!"

"Don't crocodiles eat hippos though?" Hiro asked.

"Actually adult hippopotamuses are extremely aggressive and most predators leave them alone." Baymax informed them.

"See!?" Honey Lemon shouted, validated. "And they have those big scary tusks and huge mouths, and they can trample you under their weight."

"So can elephants and you love those." Wasabi butt in.

"Yeah, but elephants are adorable." Honey Lemon countered, as if this was an obvious difference.

"Okay," Gogo rolled her eyes again, "So we know what everyone is afraid of, except for you Hiro."

"Me?" Hiro asked, and shrugged. "I don't know. I used to be scared of monsters under the bed when I was like three, but after you've faced what we've faced…. It's kind of hard to find normal things scary."

"What about abnormal things then?" Tadashi asked.

"I... I still have nightmares about the void sometimes." Hiro admitted. "I can face it, but like... it's just nothingness... endless... I won't lie... that's kind of terrifying."

"Many people find the unknown scary. It is a common fear." Baymax said comfortingly.

"But apparently it's not unknown." Fred said. "That Madame Canardist says she traveled through it to get here.” 

“So she says .” Gogo pointed out. “We've no reason to believe her.” 

“We don't really have any reason to disbelieve her either.” Tadashi shrugged. “I mean given everything we've seen so far.” 

“What do you think, Varian?” Wasabi asked. 

Everyone turned to resident portal expert among them, but Varian just sat there hugging his knees and staring at the floor. 

"I think... I'm afraid of failing."

Silence fell over the little group as Varian kept staring at his toes.

He seemed to be considering something before he looked up again, coming to a sort of decision.

"Where did you put Carnardist's scroll?" He asked.

"No." Tadashi said softly, but firmly. "We all agreed that we weren't going that route."

"But-"

"No 'buts'. You said it yourself. It's too dangerous. We'll use the portal."

"And what if I can't get it to work?" Varian sobbed.

"You will," Tadashi reassured, "and we'll go with you to rescue your dad."

For once, Varian didn't even bother to argue the second part. "You don't know that."

"You got it to work before." Hiro pointed out.

"If anyone can make it work you can, querido." Honey Lemon encouraged, wrapping him in a hug.

Varian didn't return it. "Exactly. What if no one can? What if we're just wasting time? What if he's... what if he's already d-"

Gogo sighed, and laid a hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his panic.

"Hey... I believe in you. We'll keep Madam Carnardist's scroll as a backup, but until we know more about the void, we're going to focus on fixing the portal first."

"Just tell us what you need and we'll help." Wasabi added.

"Oh and Minimax has been running algorithms on that secret code in that Demanti guy's journal every night, just like you asked." Fred said.

Varian only frowned at them, in spite of their support.

"You don't understand." He whispered before suddenly standing up.

He briskly made his way to the stairs and everyone rushed to follow him.

Despite the darkness he ran down them two steps at a time and for a moment, everyone feared that he was going to rush out into the storm, but he stopped at the door.

He stood there staring out into the alleyway and the flurry of snowflakes. Everyone stood still on the stairs, afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing that might send him into a flight. Only for him to  forcefully slam the door. He turned back towards them, shaking as tears ran down his cheeks.

"I hate the snow." His voice cracked with this little admission before he slumped down onto the floor, his back to the door.

Tadashi broke from the group first. "Well I love it, especially if it keeps you from running away yet again."

He stood there in front of his adopted brother, his hands on his hips, as if waiting for an explanation. He had tried to keep his voice light and his manner half joking, but he couldn't fully rid the evident concern on his face. Finally he sighed and sat down next to him.

"Look, I know we don't understand." He said more softly. "And I know it's difficult for you to talk about it. Just.... What are we supposed to do? How can we help?"

Varin sniffled. "Nothing."

Tadashi shook his head and rung his hands. He looked back up the landing to his friends, completely lost.

"What if... what if we ran some experiments?" He slowly offered. "After school starts back. While you and Hiro work on the portal... maybe Baymax and I could study the scroll mor-"

"No!" Hiro half ran, half jumped down the stairs towards them. "No one is reading any freaky magic scrolls or going anywhere near the void."

Tadashi gave his little brother a pleading look, but was surprised to hear Varian speak up in agreement.

"Hiro's right. It was stupid of me to ask. Just... just forget it."

Hiro immediately looked regretful. "We can still work on the portal. You've proven that can be done safely."

Varian gave a long sigh.

"Sure." He said flatly.

Everyone exchanged worried glances. Unable to run away or fight, Varian now went back to his depressed state from earlier, and for some reason that seemed to be even worse.

It was Fred who spoke up first. "It worked the first time, before Momaksake showed up. Did you change the design of the portal any when you rebuilt it?"

Varian shook his head. "No... and I'm using the same focusing device. The amber should work. That's what I can't understand."

"What is the amber anyways?" Tadashi asked. "You said that you made it somehow."

Varian eyes darted away from his, and he wouldn't answer.

"Well, then do you have anything else that you could try?" Wasabi asked.

"No. Nothing else would have the same energy signature. Except... except for the rocks."

"Like Carnardist's paperweight?" Gogo asked. "She said it was made from those rocks."

"She won't let us use it though." Tadashi pointed out.

"Well maybe if we just explained-" Honey Lemon started but Varian interrupted.

"Guys.. just drop it!"

Everyone stared at him. That's when the lights came back on.

This seemed to signal something to Varian. He stood up and made his way back to the stairs. He stopped at the top of the landing.

"Maybe it's time to face the facts." He whispered. "I'm never going to see my Dad again, and it's my fault."

Gogo stepped forward. "Don't say that."

"Gogo, please. All this time I've been trying and trying to fix my mistakes and all I've done is either gone nowhere or made things worse."

"That's not true." Tadashi said, standing up himself, as if highlighting what good Varian had really done just by being there.

Varian looked back at him, lost. Tadashi wouldn't let him continue.

"I've already told you before. It's not your fault."

Varian's face hardened as he looked down on them.

"You weren't there."

His voice sounded colder than the freezing snow outside.

Tadashi made his way back up the stairs until they were face to face.

"In what way is it your fault? It's not like you hurt your dad. You didn't cause the rocks. You didn't start the war. It isn't your fault that the portal's not working."

Varian seemed to crumple in on himself as Tadashi continued.

"Tadashi, please..."

Tadashi ignored his pleas and held him by the shoulders. "Listen. I know. Okay? I know what it's like to blame yourself for bad things, to think about all the ways you could have changed time if you had just done something different, but sometimes accidents just happen and it's no one's fault."

Varian was openly crying now. Tadashi waited.

He was going to make Varian understand. That he didn't need to feel ashamed of his past. They were going to get through this as a family, just like they had always done.

Nothing prepared for the words that came next.

"But I did do all those things." Varian whispered.

"What?"

"I caused the accident..." He started to ramble as he pulled away from Tadshi's astonished grasp. "The rocks were destroying our home! I had to do something! Dad told me not to. B-but I didn't listen. Not till it was too late! We.. we were arguing in my lab, and I heard him shout and he pushed me out of the way... and... and... It's my fault!"

Everyone stood there in shock as the most pitiful wail broke from Varian's lips. "Oh God, why did I ever mix that formula?"

He broke down in tears and no one knew what to do. Then suddenly he gasped as if coming to a realization.

"What if he really is dead? What... what if I killed hi-?"

"Now none of that." That seemed to snap Wasabi out of his shock. He took three big strides and before Varian could react he found himself wrapped up in a big bear hug.

"None of that." Wasabi repeated; softer this time. "Your dad is alive, and we're going to rescue him. And... even if the worse has happened...it is still. not. your. fault."

He made sure to emphasize each word and only held onto him tighter.

"Of course not." Tadashi agreed, and joined in on the hug.

"An accident is still just an accident." Hiro explained as he too came forward.

"Your dad wouldn't blame you." Gogo added.

"We certainly don't." Honey Lemon said as she came up from behind.

"That's.. *hic*... the saddest... *sob*... origin story I've ever heard." Fred bawled before adding himself to the group hug.

"It is difficult sometimes to face our past." Baymax advised. "But remember that, even when you believe you've made a mistake, you are loved."

Now Varian was crying for a whole new reason. He was still loved. They saw his deepest fear and still cared. They still were promising to help his dad, the same as they had done months ago under the sequoia tree. And if they still had hope... maybe he could too.

----------------

Honey Lemon turned in her sleep and reached out to cuddle the nearest person, but her hands grasped nothing but the cold rug underneath.

Her brow furrowed as she barely consciously noticed something was amiss. She fell asleep surrounded by her friends. Someone should be there.... but who?

Her eyes snapped open with alarm. Varian!

She sat up quickly and tried to pierce the darkness as she scanned the living room.

Everyone else was still asleep but Varian's sleeping bag was definitely empty.

Honey Lemon tried not to panic. After all, he could have just decided that his own bed was more comfortable than the floor. But somehow Honey Lemon knew that not to be the case.

Varian, for all his pertinacity for running away, he genuinely hated being alone. Especially when he was upset.

She couldn't see him retreating to his room and willing isolating himself after what he had told everyone about his dad.

Slowly she stood up and tipped toed towards the kitchen. Maybe he woke up for a midnight snack?

She was surprised that her hunch was correct. Varian was indeed in the kitchen, but he wasn't eating.

He just stood there, silently, staring out of the window at the swiftly falling snow.

Unsure how best to approach him, Honey Lemon just quietly moved to stand beside him and watch the storm too.

"Sorry, I tried my best not to wake you." He whispered.

"It's okay." Honey whispered back, and then after a pause asked. "Did you have another nightmare?"

Varian's only answer was to sigh and hang his head, as if he was ashamed of such a thing.

Rather than asking if he wanted to talk about it, Honey Lemon decided on a new tactic. "C-cause I just had one. That's what woke me up actually."

This had the desired effect as Varian completely forgot about his own insecurities and reverted all of his concern onto her instead.

"What about?"

Honey thought quick. "That you had disappeared."

It was close enough to the truth that Varian didn't question it. Instead he gave a soft laugh and tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Well I'm right here." He smiled.

Honey grabbed his hand with both hers as he caressed her cheek. He was still here and she couldn't have been happier for it. If only he would stay and never go back to that awful Corona.

Varian broke away from the embrace first, but he still held her hand as he led her to one of the kitchen chairs. He sat down, and without even thinking about it, Honey Lemon sat in his lap.

It felt so natural to just sit together in the quiet. Him holding her. She absentmindedly running her fingers through his hair.

She could have remained there all night to watch the sunrise, but then her eyes soon landed on the journal sitting on the table.

She reached out to pick it up. It was opened to a page about portals.

She gave him a pout and Varian pressed his lips together, unsure of what to say.

She shook her head, laid the book back down, and stood back up.

"Honey?"

Varian took off after her as she made her way down the stairs.

But rather than answer she forced a smile on her face.

"Do you want some hot cocoa?' She asked him with as cheerful a voice as she could manage, and without waiting for an answer, she went behind the counter and started to pull out the hot cocoa packet and mugs.

Varian stood frozen on the bottom of the landing, bewildered by Honey Lemon's sudden mood swings, not knowing how to proceed.

"Do you want marshmallows?" She asked.

"Yeeeah...?"

He inched slowly towards her as she pulled out the half and half; almost as if she was a deer in the forest that might bolt if he so much as breathed wrong.

"You know... I umm... about that nightmare I had?" He paused waiting for her reaction. She slowed in her moments but didn't look at him. He continued on. "Mine was about the black rocks again. I keep having them. It's sort of the same dream... only different each time and well, whenever I can't sleep I'd rather work on something then just sit there in the dark. S-so that's why I was studying Demantius journal."

"Okay."

Her reply was soft but curt and Varian didn't know how to respond to it.

"Here's your coco." She said with another forced smile and handed him the steaming mug. He took it and gave it a half hearted sip as she went to sit in front of the window.

The street lamp outside lit the swirling flurries with a soft warm glow. It was beautiful. It was deceptive. And it was cold.

His gaze landed back on the slender woman's silhouette, also bathed in that same warm light and every bit as frosty as the snow that fell.

He suppressed a sigh of frustration and took a seat next to her. They sat there, for who knows how many minutes, just looking at the storm.

“I know you don't want me going back to Corona.” He said, finally breaking the silence. 

Honey Lemon didn't respond. 

“B-but you do understand how important it is, right?” He pressed. “Now that I've told you everything?...You don't have to like it. I just need you to understand.” 

“I understand.” She whispered; not looking at him. 

“Do you? Do you really? Cause, it doesn't feel like it when you get mad at me for working on the portal.” 

She turned her head away from him, but didn't answer. He sighed and went back to nursing his cup of coco. The uncomfortable silence returned. 

"Did you know I had a sister?" She asked suddenly, and Varian turned to her in surprise.

"Umm... n-no. No I didn't." he stuttered.

"I've never met her."

She still wasn't looking at him as she stared at her toes.

"I don't even know her name."

She almost laughed at that. Almost. Like a breathless gasp that she nearly choked on.

"See... after dad moved out he got this job at a university. It was practically on the opposite side of the world. Anyways... I  hadn't heard from for awhile, so I contacted the collage and got his private office. Some girl answered the phone and when I asked to talk to 'Professor Hopken’, I heard her call out 'Daaad!' Phone call for you!' so I just hung up.” 

Varian didn't say anything. He sat there, with concern etched onto his face. Honey Lemon knew that look, but didn't turn to face him. She kept staring at her cup of coco that she had barely drunk out of. 

“I always thought that the reason he left was because he didn't want to be a dad. That he had to put his career on hold when he and mama had me. But I guess he just didn't want to be my dad.” 

“Don't say that.” 

Honey Lemon finally looked at him and gave him a sad smile. “I know. It's not me. It was never about me or my brother.” 

She let out a shaky breath. 

“Look, you're right. I don't understand. I never had a dad who cared. I can't even begin to imagine what you've gone through. But why do I have to understand? I'm not trying to stop you. I said I would help.” 

Varian let out a second sigh; one of defeat instead of frustration. 

“I know. I guess… I just feel guilty when I see you upset over it.” 

“Sorry.”

“No. No, don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. I guess…I should be happy that you care so much?”

Honey Lemon snorted over his awkwardness. 

“Well, if I was planning on traveling to a dangerous alternate dimension to save someone, what would you do?” 

“Go with you.” 

“And if I told you ‘No. It's too dangerous.’ What then?” 

He conceded with a nod. 

“Okay. I get it.” 

“Sooo you'll let us help you?” 

“Define help.” 

“Like coming with you to Corona to save your dad?” 

Varian stifled a groan. “How?” 

“What do you mean ‘how’?” 

“I mean how will you being there help?” 

“Well for one we could fight off that nasty king if he showed up!” 

“It wouldn't be the king. It would be the king's guard and Rapunzel. You can't just bubble the princess like you do criminals.” 

“Why not?” 

“Magic.” He said seriously. 

Honey Lemon’s stomach dropped. Varian hated any association with magic. It only dawned on her just now why. He hated magic, because he had fought against magic. It wasn't fairy godmothers granting wishes to attend royals balls nor pixie dust that made people fly. Magic was something to be feared. Magic was a weapon. 

She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and looked him straight in the eye.

“And we have the power of science.” She said with far more confidence than she felt. 

Varian slowly broke out into a grin before snorting with laughter. 

“It wasn't that corny… was it?” 

“It was,” he snickered.

Honey Lemon pouted. 

“And it was glorious.” He added. Which made her feel a little better. 

“B-but I mean it. We could figure out some way to like.. I don't know… block her powers or something.” 

Varian swallowed down his giggles with another swig of coco, before gaining his composure. 

“I'll make you a deal.” He said, more seriously this time. “If you can find a way to dispel magic. You can come. ” 

Honey Lemon raised an eyebrow. “And if we can't?” 

“Then you stay behind to man the portal.” 

“I'm not sure if I like that deal.”

“Someone has to stay behind, so that whoever goes won't get stuck.” He reasoned. 

Honey Lemon saw the logic in that but wasn't ready to give up. 

“On one condition.” 

“Name it.” 

Honey Lemon bit her lip for a moment before jumping up and pulling Varian away from the table and his mug of coco. 

“We have a snowball fight.” 

“What!?” 

“We have a snowball fight.” She repeated as she opened the front door. Everything looked pale and gray in the early morning. “If you win, then I'll accept the terms of the deal. If I win, then we renegotiate.” 

She stood in the doorway, hands on her hips, looking at him expectantly. 

He however looked at her as if she was crazy. 

“I’m not going out in that .” He pointed behind her. 

“It's just snow. It won't hurt you.” 

“It's cold.” 

“We're both wearing sweaters.” 

She grabbed a couple of scarves and hats off the coat hanger next to the door and tossed some at him. 

“You could slip on the ice.” He protested, as she put on her boots.

“And it's not even fully light out yet.”

 She didn't hear him as she ran outside. 

“Fine, I'll renegotiate!” He yelled from the doorway; his hands up in the air in surrender, still clutching the hat and scarf. 

Honey Lemon paused, snow in hand. 

“You mean I can come with?” 

“I didn't say that.” 

Honey Lemon grabbed another handful of snow and started packing it on top of the previous handful. 

“Okay… okay.” 

She looked up to see him snag a handful of snow himself while still standing in the doorway. 

A short but fierce snowball fight began. Honey Lemon ran this way and that. Varian never left the doorway. Somehow they both manage to completely miss each other every time. 

Varian dogged another snowball as it smacked into the side of the doorframe, and then he scooped down to get more ammunition. 

He had to lean out far to grab more fresh snow, since had used up all that was in front of the door. 

Honey Lemon took aim, and then lowered her arm as she watched him struggle. 

“We can take a break if you want to get your shoes.” 

“No… it's fine… I got it.” He grunted as he nabbed a pitiful handful of powdery frost, before catching himself as he nearly fell face forward. 

He righted himself quickly and started quickly forming a ball before it melted in his hand. He stopped when he noticed that Honey was no longer throwing anything at him. 

“Do you really hate the snow that much?” She asked. 

“I… don't hate it.” He squirmed. “I just…” 

He trailed off, unable to articulate his complex history with the weather. When looked up again, she was standing in front of him. Her hands now empty. 

“I'm sorry. I just thought it would be fun.” 

“It was fun.” He insisted. “Really. I'm… I'm just bad at snowball fights.”

She threw her arms around his neck, and he dropped the last of the half melted snow. 

“Oh what are we going to do?” She moaned, her face inches from his own. 

“Uhhh…” His mind blanked. “I don't know.” He managed to mutter.

His head swam. She had given him hugs before but this felt different. He could feel her warm breath on his lips, contrasting with freezing air and he wanted to kiss her. Kiss her properly, on the mouth. Like he'd seen in movies and read in books. 

But would she let him?

He didn't get a chance to find out. 

“What are you doing holding the open like that? It's freezing out there.” 

Varian snapped his head around to see Aunt Cass and his brothers on the stairs. 

“Yeah and some of us are still trying to sleep.” Tadashi added, hugging himself to keep warm. 

“If you want to go outside that's fine, but try not to let all the warm air out with you.” Aunt Cass finished before turning to go back up stairs. 

“Why can't you two flirt like normal people?” Hiro sneered before following after. 

Both Varain and Honey Lemon turned beat red. 

She slowly untangled her arms from around his neck as Tadashi left as well, and he stepped aside to let her in. 

He was about to close the door too when a strong gust of wind blasted in his face. 

Honey Lemon squeaked and covered her head as something clambered against the side of the wall. 

Varian looked to see what had hit the side of the house. It was black and poking out of the snow. 

Ignoring his socks getting soaked through, he strode over to the object to pick it up. 

Its handle glinted in the soft light and his heart stopped. 

“What is it?” Honey asked, peering from the doorway. 

“It's a knife.” 

“A knife?” 

He pulled the dagger from its sheath to show her. Even the blade was polished black stone. 

“That's weird.” She commented. “Who leaves knives lying around?”

He looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face. 

“It's not from here.” He said. “It's from Corona.”

[tangledbea]

I was disappointed with the final battle with the Coronans vs. Zhan Tiri. I liked seeing monster!Ruddiger return along with Catalina in werewolf form. But it seemed so lifeless. Have them gain a hit before Xhan Turi regains he’d strength etc… We already know what Varian is capable of. He deserved to do more than throw a chemical bomb in Zhan Tiri’s face. And the brotherhood are the best fighters in the show. It would have been cool to see them fight together against Zhan Tiri, United.

For another thing, I seriously thought that every single person (with a name) who they'd helped along the way throughout season two was going to join in the fight to save Corona, a la Amphibia. Like, seriously, I 100% thought that was the direction it was going.

And this is a part of how the ending was rushed. Despite the finale being three episodes long, it still managed to rush the end of the story.

[foursthemagicknumber]

Anyone want to help me un-think Varian taking the same serum he gave to Ruddiger to turn himself into a monster back while he was way crazier and doing it just so he could win a battle and then stumbling back into his lair thing and immediately apologizing to Ruddiger

[gouthepro]

was testing a new art program today because the old one doesnt work with my drawing tablet anymore

i think he would have so many pokemon but suck ass at battling so they just hang around, ruddiger is replaced by an eevee because who doesnt love eevee bro...

you're so right, he would be the worst at battling but all his pokemon would love helping with his inventions and alchemy

everyone loves Eevee!!! he'd totally have one, he'd probably do so much research on all it's evolutions

the drawing is so cute too!

and you know, I could see Hugo with a Mimikyu....

[ao3feed-twiyor]

No one can catch a break

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/2K71CAy by TheDragonKat Quirin was watching his son get trained by Adria and Hector Hunter and Willow are on a date The Forgers were on a walk but then a portal ruins everything and they have to survive shadow wolves. This is basically an excuse for these three fandoms to talk to each other Words: 11671, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), The Owl House (Cartoon), SPY x FAMILY (Anime) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Hunter | The Golden Guard (The Owl House), Willow Park, Loid Forger | Twilight, Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess, Quirin (Disney), Hector (Disney: Tangled), Adira (Disney), Clover | Bee Palisman (The Owl House), Waffles | Blue Jay Palisman (The Owl House), Ruddiger (Disney), Bond (SPY x FAMILY), Anya Forger, Varian (Disney) Relationships: Hunter | The Golden Guard/Willow Park, Loid Forger | Twilight/Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess, Quirin/Ulla (Disney: Varian and the Seven Kingdoms) Additional Tags: I am so sorry if anyone is ooc, first time writing a lot of these characters, Good Parent Loid Forger | Twilight, Parent Loid Forger | Twilight, Loid Forger | Twilight is Bad at Feelings, Protective Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess, Good Parent Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess, Protective Willow Park, Good Parent Quirin (Disney), Protective Quirin (Disney), Cute Anya Forger, Varian and Anya are not having a good time, Uncle Hector (Disney: Tangled), Aunt Adira (Disney), some bs alchemy and magic combo, shadow wolves, no one gets seriously hurt but they are in danger all the time, Quirin gives advice to Loid, cute moments between Loid and Yor, cute moments between Hunter and Willow, they were on a date but it ends up with a fight for their lives, Hunter is planning a new date to make up for the ruined date, Anya Forger Needs a Hug, she also needs her parents, Varian is called a kid, Hector being slightly more reasonable than canon, he has seen a lot since the whole Moonstone thing, and even he knows a battle he can't win, so he needs the help of Hunter and Willow, he hates it but he is not an idiot, wolves do leave time for long conversations read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/2K71CAy

[codynaomiswire]

“...I am proud to have my son fighting alongside me.”

[codynaomiswireart]

“It’s-it’s gonna be ok Ruddiger!” Varian tried to reassure him as he moved to cradle the raccoon’s big, shaggy head in his lap.  Ruddiger let out a weak groan from his throat, and whimpered a little as fresh pain surged through his side.

“You’re gonna be ok boy!  Just h-hang on!  You’re gonna be alright!”

Varian let the tears flow now as he felt Ruddiger’s tail touch his back with his own attempted gesture of reassurance.

“You’ll be alright...I...I promise...You’re gonna be ok...”

Trying to catch up!  Something angsty for Varian Appreciation Week, Day 03 - Ruddiger.

I just really like the idea of smol boi Varian cuddling and comforting his giant buddy.

[duke-nitro]

Had an idea for an AU where Varian just goes completely nuts in jail and manages a solo-breakout and goes full mad scientist and makes a concoction using Ruddiger’s fur (or saliva, doesn’t matter) that makes him at least part raccoon, both so he can use the Big Racoon Monster Potion just in case, and bc it would make the two of them “like brothers” (reminder that he’s Not Doing Well Mentally).

All it really manages to do is give him longer nails, teeth, and those reflective eyes that a lot of animals have at night, stuff like that. He spends most of his time messing with people who specifically screwed him over when he was looking for help, and stopping guards from arresting petty criminals.

One night he’s just doing his thing, skulking through the forest, like a normal person does, when Angry tackles him to the ground... bc she saw the reflections of his eyes and thought it was Catalina. Varian immediately launches into a panicked explanation to “not jump at every pair of eyes you see in the dark I could’ve been a bear or a wolf”.

But as he’s doing that Angry’s eyes adjust to the dark and she recognizes him from his wanted posters (and general reputation) and she just thinks “oh. this is a Cool Guy”, so she strongarms him into hanging out. Cue a good handful of Wacky Adventures.

A few weeks later they’re chilling at Angry and Catalina’s treehouse, bored out of their minds, when Lance climbs up to tell his kids that he’s there with food, but then he locks eyes with Varian, a stick-thin weirdo who’s trying to look as threatening as possible despite very clearly trying to hold back tears. Lance stands there for a moment, shrugs, and says “well, guess I gotta make a meal for four”. It takes until the food is being served for Varian to de-stress and realize “oh I’m not losing my friends bc they know one of the princess’s friends”.

After that he eventually settles into his season 3 role, dealing with the red rocks, translating the scroll, etc. I don’t know what Quirin’s role in this AU is, he’s either dead or about to get into a big ol’ custody battle with Lance.

[zonerobotnik]

Okay, I was just going to ignore and delete this, but someone just sent me a question asking about certain things I tend to put in my stories, such as Ruddiger being Regulus, Andrew being nice, Kline existing and being a True Seer and Moon Varian being unkillable.

There were some other things said, but let's just talk about these points.

First of all, I try to stay consistent with my fics. Fics made after a certain lore being added will have that lore in them, and fics that were made before it, if it's not too late to add it, get it included after the fact. These are things that make my fics recognizable, my "brand". So, yes, I will keep using my established lore in my fics. If my friends also want to, with my permission, they may. For example, DisneyChick2020 has the Saporians being redeemed in one of their fics because that's made from an RP we are actively doing. But, for the most part, it's just in my fics. I don't go into other people's fics saying "Hey, actually, the Saporians are nice and blahblahblah". No. While I do point out that the Herz Der Sonne book and the Saporian War story has enough plotholes in it to count as swiss cheese in the comment section of my own fics and during conversations with people that aren't in the comment section of THEIR fics, I don't demand people do the same thing.

So, let's get into the points they made.

Ruddiger being Regulus: I KNOW that this isn't canon. Hell, according to canon, Demanitus only had three students and Zhan Tiri took them all, but at the same time they also said at some point that Demanitus' and Zhan Tiri's forces battled. Which means that Demanitus had more students and Zhan Tiri had more than three followers. Looking over the series, the people in the woods that turn people into birds glow a very familiar green when they are defeated, when Cassandra breaks the teapot. Now, this could be nothing, Demanitus also glows green when he uses his powers, but half the Demanitus stuff is pretty much debunked in season 1 and season 3 and even earlier in season 2. (He claimed to not be a sorcerer, but his device was clearly science and magic, and in season 3 we learned that Demanitus used a mind-swapping machine to swap with his pet Vigor, he didn't actually turn himself into a monkey like he claimed in the maze.)

Anyways, I am aware that Ruddiger is not canonly a human turned into a raccoon, but I am not the only one to do this, with one example being him being Zhan Tiri's brother before, not her student. So, leave Regulus alone, okay?

Andrew being nice: I have explained this before, but every chance that he had to be a detestable person and kill people, he didn't. His first appearance, he was Cassandra's long-distance boyfriend that had an ulterior motive (so did Cassandra) and when he got what he wanted, he didn't kill the witnesses. In fact, he wasn't the one to remind Cassandra about the book, she reminded him.

"But, Zone, he tried to stab her in the back!" Okay, look, I know nothing about how to fight, but even I know that raising your sword high to strike someone is a really stupid idea. Even without the shadow alerting her, she would have detected him. If he wanted to stab her in the back, he would have stabbed her low, right around the tailbone, to incapacitate her and possibly put her in a wheelchair for life. But, leading up to this, he let them see his necklace and the very recognizable Separatists of Saporia insignia, never mentioned the book after the initial explanation of how they met, and even questioned Cassandra on if it was even possible to get to the book at that hour. Once all excuses were out of the way, he was ready to take the book and go, but mission rules state to kill all witnesses. When it came down to it, though, he couldn't. He attacked her in a way she would easily detect and, when Rapunzel distracted Cassandra, turned the tables after being held at swordpoint and made the girls, the Captain of the Guard's daughter and the Princess of the Kingdom he wanted to overthrow, chain themselves to the pedestal and then took the book and left. He had them chained up, important people that killing them would surely cripple Corona for a bit, and he let them live. He was too gentle to kill them.

They get free and come after him, he fights Cassandra, but never kills her despite having many chances to. He gets arrested and locked away. Time skip until Season 3.

Rapunzel returns to find out the Saporians and Varian have taken over. Andrew is hardened by prison and a better fighter, but Varian is comfortable around Andrew and the other Saporians, even making a silent, smirking in-joke with Clementine in reference to the Wand of Oblivium, which Rapunzel had dealt with before, implying she knew the story and had told Varian about it. This implies that Andrew and the Saporians had been treating Varian well.

They fight Rapunzel and her friends and Raps and Co lose but escape and are found by the Resistance. The Saporians go out right after they are knocked outside, but fail to find them and correctly assume they were found by the Resistance. Things become tense and even Varian is speaking stiffly as he works. But, let's rewind a bit: No one died or was even hurt during the earlier battle. We later learn that Varian had them promise to not seriously hurt anyone (Feldspar's behavior implies that he DID allow punishments), but if they were as mean as people believe, why would they bother keeping the promise? Why would they later try to reason with him, with Andrew taking the lead with that attempt? And when Varian turned on him, they lock him up and don't hurt him in any way. (Aside from the emotional damage from embarrassing himself in front of everyone after such a dramatic speech. Even Rapunzel was disappointed in him. 😒)

After escaping prison, Rapunzel and Varian go to stop the Saporians and they fight them, with Andrew eventually grabbing Varian and holding him over the railing of the ship, reminding him that traitors don't live in Saporia. However, despite the proclamation, he hesitates to actually drop him, to let go and watch him fall to his death. He hesitates long enough for Pascal to knock into him and he never lets go, even when he's knocked off-balance. He had the opportunity to kill, knew he had to, and didn't. Yes, he cut the rope and everyone ended up going overboard but Varian and Rapunzel, but that still gave them an opportunity to not die. (Especially if you follow my hc and they have wind magic).

So, yes, Andrew isn't a terrible person, and was clearly pretty nice since Varian was so comfortable with him and even was okay with him and Clementine being in his lab while he wasn't watching them - to compare, when Eugene came into his lab in "Cassandra's Revenge", he watched him warily the entire time and was very tense around the Coronans compared to the relaxed confidence with the Saporians when he's first seen with them.

So, yes, others may hc disturbing, abusive things, but canon says otherwise and I agree that Andrew is not abusive or overly violent.

Let's move on.

Kline: Dude, Kline is not a dues ex machina. He has knowledge about certain things, but he doesn't have all the answers of the universe. He's not freakin' Bill Cipher (who is also in my lore as being involved with Zhan Tiri until she decided to go her own way and yeeted her connection to him), he's just the most accurate fortune teller that is a lot less cryptic than Demanitus/Vigor. And even if he does know things, he cannot share it without the permission of the Cosmos.

Moon Varian can't be killed: He's a God. Gods can't be killed unless they are made mortal. This is something that Disney's "Hercules" made very clear. Varian and Rapunzel cannot die unless they have lost their powers in some way, down to the last drop. Zhan Tiri and Cassandra would have been unkillable without losing the Moonstone, too. I don't even know why you are questioning why Varian can't be killed, why someone trying to kill him would turn him into a full God, with his powers activating and destroying whatever was trying to kill him. You cannot kill a God. When Hercules was dying, his Godly powers came back in full, even in the Underworld itself.

Now, the reason I didn't just reply to your comment with all of this is because it was, frankly, very rude. And instead of lashing out emotionally, I decided to take some time, write this out, and reply this way. Also, doing it this way prevents dogpiling.

I hope this answered all your questions.

[bestworstcase]

on ‘villainy’ and varian’s and cassandra’s moral codes

for all that varian’s and cassandra’s villain arcs get compared to death they’re really more different than they are similar, and i think one of the more interesting distinctions is the characters’ moral perspectives on their own actions--namely that varian recognizes his own choices as villainous and consciously self-identifies as a ‘bad guy’ and cassandra not only…doesn’t do that but appears legitimately taken aback when varian says she’s ‘become the villain.’ from this we can infer that varian is transgressing his own personal sense of right and wrong while cassandra isn’t.

and… well with varian i think it’s pretty straightforward: he’s a kid who desperately wants to make the world a better place and make his father proud, but his impulsivity and recklessness and general disregard for lab safety foil his plans and get him into trouble. then one of his accidents puts his dad into what is essentially a magical coma and varian becomes singularly focused on reviving him--and, when he realizes that the king is more invested in covering up the problem than fixing it and his only hope lies with a zealously guarded relic belonging to the kingdom, he decides that the only way to achieve this goal is to start breaking the rules.

so he asks rapunzel--his friend who promised to help him--to retrieve some information the king is trying to steal from him, and then persuades her to help him access the sundrop vault; then when she balks at stealing it he makes it clear that he no longer trusts her and escapes with the flower. at this point he’s in the morally dubious zone; being strategic about what he tells rapunzel to make sure she helps him, spiking cookies with truth serum to sow chaos and get information he needs, and doing things that are crimes on paper but also largely victimless. i think these were things varian could probably rationalize as okay--not exactly good, but no one got hurt and he got what he needed.

except the flower’s magic is gone. he drugged the palace, manipulated rapunzel and broke her trust in him, and committed treason all for something useless because the actual magic of the sundrop is in rapunzel herself. now he’s in trouble, because he needs rapunzel’s help but his desperate measures guaranteed she won’t be willing to help him again. and this is when varian realizes that his only options are 1. give up on saving his dad and turn himself in and hope rapunzel takes pity on him, or 2. accept that no one is going to help him now and do whatever it takes to free quirin himself.

so--mutating ruddiger, attacking the city, kidnapping arianna and threatening her with encasement in amber, building an automaton army to defend him while he works--these are all things that varian feels are wrong, but chooses to do anyway because he doesn’t trust that anyone else will even try to save his father. despite his anger and his rationalizations, at the end of the day varian sees himself as doing bad things for good reasons. (“Believe me, I know/I’ve sunk pretty low” & “I’m the bad guy, that’s fine”)

and when his reasons fall through--when he fails to free his dad--he falls quickly into guilt and despair over having hurt people for nothing. he stews for a year in how unforgivable and ashamed he feels, and even when he teams up with the separatists, he’s doing it in, basically, pursuit of a reset button: he wants to take back what he did. and when rapunzel shows him that he can be forgiven, he can have a second chance, he does have people who are willing to help him and trust him again, he drops the memory-wiping idea and his alliance with the separatists without a second thought--because what rapunzel actually does is give him a way to pursue his goals without sacrificing his conscience, which is what he really needed the whole time.

now, cassandra, on the other hand…

cass is an interesting character in this regard because, while she does want to be a hero, she’s not at all altruistic. she’s consumed by her lack of autonomy and she craves not only control over her own life but also respect from the people around her--her desire to be a hero is very self-interested, at its core. and moreover she has a somewhat fatalistic view of the world wherein some people (not her) matter and some… just don’t. 

moreover cassandra, despite her ambitions of becoming a guard, doesn’t so much as blink at eugene’s or the pub thugs’ criminal pasts--she is suspicious of lance at first, but on the grounds that he’s an unrepentant thief who showed up out of the blue under suspicious circumstances to ‘reconnect’ with his old partner in crime; eugene is also distrustful of lance, for the exact same reasons--and of course she doesn’t think twice about breaking the law herself. literally one of the very first things we see cassandra do is commit treason to make her friend happy. cass doesn’t care about the law, and she only wants to be a guard because she associates getting the job with having her dad’s approval and it’s also her ticket out of lifelong servitude.

on the other hand, cass does seem have a strong sense of right and wrong where people she cares about are concerned. she is constantly putting the desires and well-being of her friends ahead of not just her ambitions (e.g. in beginnings for rapunzel, or great expotations for varian) but also her own safety (e.g. risking her livelihood and home to sneak rapunzel out for the night in bea, or setting aside her misgivings about the sketchy bird people in freebird). 

which is all to say--cass isn’t exactly amoral but the moral framework through which she sees the world is… more complicated than varian’s. she doesn’t seem particularly motivated to help strangers but she’ll move mountains to help people she cares about; she doesn’t care much about rules or laws except insofar as she doesn’t want to get caught breaking them, and she has this hierarchical mindset that some people matter--meaning, they get to make decisions for themselves and have people care about what they need and want--and some don’t, and that she herself is stuck in the latter category despite her best efforts to climb out of it.

which brings us to the subject of the moonstone, and cassandra’s villain arc, and why cass, unlike varian, doesn’t consider herself a bad person.

i think what it comes down to most is this: taking the moonstone is an act of defiance against not only rapunzel but also fate itself. waiting in the wings sets up cassandra’s resigned acceptance of this hierarchical order and her own cosmic insignificance, and then in crossing the line she REJECTS that same order. she’s raging against rapunzel but also against the cultural and legal and destined systems that put rapunzel on top and forced cass into subservience. she is very literally fighting for her freedom against the universe itself.

and when cass was not an altruistic or heavily morally motivated or even particularly law-abiding person before, and when her conscience has always been predominantly oriented around taking care of her friends first and herself second, and when the thing that drove her to this breaking point was her friends spitting that back in her face… well.

it’s easy to say “cass literally tried to murder rapunzel a bunch of times, how can she possibly believe she’s the good guy?”--but rapunzel maimed cass, blamed her for it, and consistently prioritized her destiny over cassandra’s wellbeing; and rapunzel represents the cosmic order that cass is fighting to liberate herself from. and while i know that the -popular- take on be very afraid is “cass is terrified of hurting rapunzel,” i submit it’s actually “cass is terrified of having to fight rapunzel, because she still believes that fate is literally tilted in rapunzel’s favor and she can’t win a direct fight with rapunzel.” that’s why she’s so scared; that’s why rapunzel seemingly deleting the red rocks hardens her resolve; that’s why she marches into corona with maximum drama and bluster and builds a fortress and tries so hard to mess with rapunzel’s head before the battle begins. she’s trying to even the odds. and that’s why, when rapunzel stomps her into the curb, cassandra’s immediate response is “i need an army.”

cassandra isn’t scared for rapunzel. she is scared OF rapunzel.

we do also see cass trying not to harm people she considers to be innocent bystanders; she uses the truth serum on varian bc she needs the incantation, but afterwards she doesn’t even bother to restrain him until after he starts pestering her, she says flat out that she doesn’t want him to get hurt when she fights rapunzel; similarly she is willing to hurt calliope to force rapunzel to comply, but--despite her deep personal dislike of calliope--uses a minimum amount of force and again verbally expresses that she doesn’t particularly want to hurt her, that it’s a means to an end and nothing more. attacking rapunzel? that’s fine, rapunzel is her enemy. attacking eugene? of course, he’s rapunzel’s closest ally. mind controlling the brotherhood? that kills two birds with one stone--eliminating powerful enemies with a vested interest in taking the moonstone away from her and turning them into allies who can level the playing field between her and rapunzel. and when she does finally snap and raze corona to the ground? the people of corona attacked her first. i think cass ABSOLUTELY sees herself as fighting a purely defensive war against people who have or will hurt her.

and this is, of course, ultimately why varian failed to get through to her during ‘nothing left to lose’--he appealed to her sense of morality and her sense of morality shrugged. 

as for the thing that snaps her out of it? the moment that forces her to question whether she’s really as right as she thinks she is? it’s learning who her new friend really is. it’s the shock of finding out that she’s been allied with, confiding in, taking advice from a legendary villain, from a monster she likely grew up hearing stories about. cass takes it as a given that zhan tiri is evil--and if she’s friends with zhan tiri, what does that make her? and even then, cass is resistant to the idea that she might be a villain--“No, no, I’m nothing like you. Just because I’m pursuing my destiny doesn’t make me a bad person!”--which is, ultimately, very telling of her whole mindset. she’s not a bad guy, she’s fighting for her freedom. she’s not a bad guy, she’s protecting herself against people who want to exploit her. she’s not a bad guy, she’s just putting herself first for once.

and OAH generally, i’d argue, is not actually about cassandra trying to reconcile with rapunzel or redeem herself or be a better person, it’s… literally cass trying frantically to prove she’s NOT the bad guy. it’s “oh yeah? you think i’m a bad person? well could a bad guy do THIS? *lies and impersonates a former coworker and gets up on a stage to justify her own actions in front of a crowd*” it’s “a bad guy wouldn’t apologize, rapunzel never apologized for anything, and to prove i’m a better person I’M going to apologize! see? SEE!?”--and then everyone in corona attacks her and she goes “FINE, i’m the bad guy, fuck you all” and wrecks the place.

only then--only in plus est en vous--does cassandra get into a mindset similar to varian’s, of “i am the bad guy but if i can pull this off it will be worth it.” she’s not sorry. she still sees rapunzel as an enemy trying to get her under control again, and the only thing that’s really changed is cassandra acknowledging that she has in fact done bad things too.

and… i would argue that by the end of plus est cassandra… feels some guilt but isn’t sorry. “i’ve failed” and “i’ve done terrible things” and “i tried to prove i was more than everyone thought but they were right”--her anguish is not like varian’s anguish in RR, where he was consumed with despair because no one could possibly forgive him for the things he did. cassandra is upset because she did awful things and failed and she perceives that failure as proof of her own worthlessness. she’s right back to feeling how she felt in waiting in the wings but with a hefty new helping of self-disgust and shame for having been stupid enough to believe she could change anything for herself. 

she’s not sorry. she’s not pleading for forgiveness. she just wants rapunzel to give up and leave her alone--& then, after rapunzel convinces her that she’s wrong, and she does have worth as a person, and she does have a destiny of her own, cass does what’s necessary to clean up the crisis she created and then… just bounces. she gets the freedom she wanted and leaves without a backward glance.

(which. good for her.)

tl;dr: varian’s villain arc explores his moral scruples and what it takes for him to be willing to ignore them, whereas cassandra’s villain arc explores her incendiary reaction to a lifetime of injustices; she isn’t amoral but her sense of right and wrong is, unlike varian’s, very contextual and personal. varian is a pragmatic idealist who wants to be lawful good but is capable of setting his own morals aside in pursuit of a goal he considers to be important enough, and cassandra is one radicalizing incident away from realizing that her grievances are not a unique personal failing but a systemic problem and then leading a class uprising.

[nerdasaurus1200]

Okay so along with Cap Roy, Rick, Lonnie, and Ben were all there fighting Ruddiger. And so was Shang.

And then we see them with Pete and Stan later on

And then we see them all in the final battle….so who the heck got hurt when Ruddiger attacked???

[tangledbea]

hey, Bex! How you doin’? do you have an opinion on the best movie parallel the show made? (and the worst? 👀)

Howdy! Oh, you know... hanging in there. Can't say a lot better than that. lol

The best (by which I mean, my favorite) is when Pascal and Ruddiger do the "head down, arms in, knees apart" thing in "Day of the Animals". It took me completely by surprise, not to mention it was somewhat subtle since they weren't using actual words, and I freaking adored it.

The worst (by which I mean worst in every way) is when Cassandra one-hit KO's Zhan Tiri with the pan and says, "Frying pans! Who knew, right?" Because 1) That was Eugene's line (which she wasn't present to hear) and they felt the need to give it to Cassandra, the last in a long line of movie character parallels they had Cassandra do, rather than develop her own things she could have called back to throughout the series. (Actually, not the last, because she also gets pulled into the hug at the end of the battle, just like Eugene getting pulled into the hug at the end of the movie. Do not get me started.) 2) She had seen a frying pan used as a weapon throughout the course of the entire series. This wasn't news to her. 3) ZT should not have been able to have been one-hit KO'd with a frying pan. And, most egregiously, 4) she said it to the person who introduced fighting with frying pans to the kingdom, as if RAPUNZEL HERSELF did not know about them!

It wasn't cute, it wasn't funny, it was just trying way too hard to make us like Cassandra with last-minute parallels.

[certainlybyitslast]

Season 9 Prep

Filming for “The Blacklist” Season 9 will start soon.  I’ve been thinking, before we hear any rumors or see behind the scenes shots, what do we hope to see this season (most specifically, the first episode back)?  We, as fans, have had some time to sit with our feelings about the finale, how will the characters do so?  I hate to go down the road of “...they better show us this” type of expectation.  I’d like to be surprised.  I’m also worried they’ll try to move us on to “Blacklister of the week” style too quickly.  I likely won’t be able to stay on board for just that.

Here are my thoughts:

1) Time jump.  A lot of shows do this.  Will “The Blacklist?”  We’d lose a lot of heart/pain/anger seeing the characters deal with the immediate fall out of Liz’s death.  However, having the whole task force move their separate ways for bit, and then try to pull them back again would be an interesting storyline.  We would still see the characters dealing with her death, but likely in more repressed/explosive ways over the course of the season.  

2. Ressler vs. Red.  How big will this battle be?  At what point does it become so unbelievable that Ressler would continue to work with Red after everything he’s done?  Will Ressler turn on him, or continue to work with him with new motivation?  Personally, I’d like to see Ressler get a lot of screen time and build up a battle royale against Red over the course of the season.  

3. Agnes.  I am willing to guess she is out of the picture.  Maybe she pops up in an episode or two, but I find it hard to believe Ressler or Red is caring for her.  Having a kid in a TV show like this is hard.  The writers have a chance to bring that character some normalcy and set her up elsewhere, as sad as that is.  No more “who is watching Agnes?” drama.  

4. Supporting characters.  Many TV shows bring in new characters in the final season(s).  Sometimes this works, but usually I find it annoying.  If my time with my beloved characters is limited, I want to see them more, and not have them share the screen with new characters I don’t care about.  Bring in Paula, Priya, Ruddiger, familiar faces, yes.  New people, not so much.

I still haven’t re-watched the finale, or the death montage again.  I think I’ve cried enough tears over one episode of television.  I go into Season 9...guarded.  I am thinking of writing up a recap/commentary on each episode of Season 9, but part of me isn’t sure I’ll stick with the show....we shall see.

[groovinrightalong]

IT IS TIME

That special content I promised!!!

Little prologue for Rocks Wolves and the Moon that’s set back in season 1!

Synopsis: Following his encounter with the Wolf’s Curse, Varian’s starting to believe the whole thing was a dream, or some big hoax. Then the full moon comes around.

Varian was beginning to lose hope. Just this morning, his elderly neighbor had been out for a walk, and a black rock had come only inches from running her through. He’d been there to help her over the fright afterwards, holding her hand and walking her home, but it had still happened! The entire situation was getting so, so much worse. And Dad wasn’t lifting a finger to help.

Then, there was that whole ‘wolf spirit’ thing that happened a month ago. It had promised to give him a voice, to help him get their problems noticed. Here they were, weeks later, and everything was just as bad. Nothing had changed. He certainly didn’t feel any different. He wouldn’t believe it had happened at all, if not for the strange blue mark on his palm. He’d tried washing it off, to no avail. That was the only indication that he hadn’t dreamed it all up, and even that was starting to not be enough.

“I just don’t get it!” He exclaimed, pacing back and forth in his lab. Beside him, Ruddiger sat patiently on his stool, watching him curiously. Ruddiger, too, seemed to have remembered the incident, if the way he’d acted for the day after was any indication. His best friend had practically walked on eggshells around him, terrified by every sudden movement. It was like he hadn’t even recognized him. But now, the raccoon seemed to be used to whatever had spooked him, perfectly content to be in close quarters with the boy.

One of the only positive things to come of the past weeks.

“He acknowledges it’s a problem,” he grumbled, scratching at his chin. “He’s told the people he’ll help. He keeps telling me he’s helping. Yet the evidence is against him. And that whole- whole thing with the king last month? Asking for more land? What, does he just plan to run away?” He scoffed, crossing his arms and turning to Ruddiger with an irritated frown. “What’s he going to do when they show up there too?” His lab assistant just shrugged, clearly as lost as he was.

Varian huffed, resuming his pacing. The sun was low in the sky. Not quite sunset, but past dinner time. His dad was probably out in the fields right about now.

“I-“ He cut off with a soft moan, pressing a hand to his stomach. It was upset all of a sudden, burning in his abdomen and leaving him a little nauseous. “Oh. Okay, maybe I got a little worked up.” Ruddiger regarded him with concern, chittering worriedly, but he waved him off with his free hand. “I’m fine, buddy. Just a bit of stress.” He sat himself down on the stool by his desk, rubbing at the spot over his roiling stomach.

Through the window, he could see so many rocks, some growing right before his eyes. The sight only made him feel more ill.

“Varian!”

“Down here!” He called, lacking his usual energy that backed the response. His father emerged from a door to his left, eyes scanning the room before entering, as though gauging whether or not it was safe. He seemed relieved when he saw the black rocks in the middle of the room, untouched and roped off, just as he’d left them.

“I just wanted to check in on you,” he explained, stepping inside and strolling over. “There’s a council meeting this evening, and I have to head out soon.”

“Don’t let me hold you up,” Varian grumbled, feeling a bit snippier than usual. His father frowned at him, furrowing that impressive brow, but he didn’t address it.

“Are you feeling alright?” He asked suddenly, sternness giving way for concern when he noticed his son’s posture. “You’re looking a little pale.”

“I’m fine,” the boy insisted, straightening up a bit. “Just tired.” His dad’s frown only grew, and for a moment Varian thought he’d fight him on it. But the man just let out a resigned sigh.

“Very well,” he relented. “Don’t wait up for me. It’ll go past nightfall. And please, be in bed when I get home.”

“Gotcha,” Varian replied with a wink, shooting him weak finger guns. A tired smile graced his father’s face, and he reached out to ruffle his hair. Varian leaned into the touch despite himself, finding great relief in the physical contact. But then the hand pulled back, and his dad backed away toward the door. He hesitated in the threshold, looking at his son, then the rocks, before smiling again, this time more strained.

“Goodnight, son.”

“Night, Dad.” The door echoed when he shut it, and his footsteps thundered up the stairs, then disappeared outside. Varian let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. His gaze trailed to the rocks in the room, and his face hardened into a determined glare. He turned back to his desk, pushing a few papers out of the way, and forcing himself to ignore the ache in his gut.

“We’re gonna find a way to fix this, Ruddy,” he announced, reaching for a clean beaker and his sheet of theoretical formulas. “With the power of alchemy, we’re gonna fix all of it!” Ruddiger squeaked nervously, eyeing his boy with concern, and something else. Like there was something wrong. Varian didn’t even notice.

He got to work with his chemicals, hyper focused on the movements of his hands and the way the formulas reacted when mixed. As he slaved away over his desk, the light began to dim in the sky, shrouding his workspace in darkness, save the glow of the compounds in the flasks and beakers. He lit the candle in the window mechanically, eyes still glued to his papers and experiments.

Eventually, Ruddiger started to grow tired, eyes drooping despite the early hour. He’d been up all night with his friend the night before, and as much as he wanted to be here for him now, he was starting to hit his limit. He curled up on the stool, tail tucked over his nose, and began to settle into a light nap.

But the sound of glass shattering startled him out of any contemplation of sleep, nearly jumping off the stool from the fright. A glowing blue compound had spilled on the floor, the flask that had held it in pieces within the mess. Over it, Varian stood, convulsed inward. Both his arms were wrapped around his stomach, eyes squeezed shut. His forehead was pressed against the surface of the desk, and his large front teeth were digging into his bottom lip, almost drawing blood.

Ruddiger squeaked with fright, moving to run to his friend, but something made him hesitate. His instincts were telling him to get as far away as possible. But that didn’t make any sense! This was Varian, his best friend! He won his internal battle and bounded over, climbing onto the desk and resting a paw on the boy’s head. Varian hissed in response, not moving a muscle.

“Just- just give me a second,” he wheezed, curling in further. “It’s just a-“ He gasped, arms wrapping tighter around himself. “Just a cramp.” Ruddiger chittered anxiously, pawing at his hair again. Varian’s breaths heaved in and out, back raising with each shaky gust of air. One hand uncurled from his torso and he winced, but he managed to get a grip on the table, righting himself. His face was pale and sweaty, eyes looking a bit glassy with fever. Ruddiger rubbed his nose against the bare skin between his sleeve and his glove, and found it startling hot.

“Gah!” Varian coughed, curling forward again, but his fingers stayed looped around the edge of the desk. The wood groaned under the pressure. He choked on another cough, tears gathering in his eyes. “It’s a- a really bad cramp.” Ruddiger squealed, frantically pointing his paw at the door. “No, don’t go get Dad! I’m fine. I’m just-“ He cut off with a loud cry, slamming his head down onto the table, then collapsing onto the ground. Ruddiger watched helplessly as his boy cried, curled into fetal position below the desk. He jumped down to help, but nothing he did worked.

He should really go get his dad.

He turned to leave, but another cry made him freeze, guilt consuming him. He couldn’t just leave his friend. Not like this. He trotted back over and curled up next to him, pressing his warmth into the small of Varian’s back. It seemed to help at least a little, as the tense muscles he felt through the alchemist’s thin shirt loosened some, but it wasn’t enough. Fat tears were streaming down the boy’s face, landing in a slowly forming puddle on the floor.

A loud popping noise cracked right by the raccoon’s ear and he yipped, jumping back. Varian was openly sobbing now, writhing as he tried to get comfortable, but couldn’t even get close. He ended up on his backside, feet digging into the stone floor as his back arched painfully. A hand landed close to Ruddiger, curling as it tried to anchor him on the ground, and he caught sight of sharp nails, almost claw-like. And they were growing, longer and thicker, until they really were claws. Ruddiger took a startled step backward, staring as the alchemist’s clenched teeth did the same, growing longer and sharper until his cries started to mix with snarls.

Something snapped audibly, and Varian let out an agonized wail. His eyes flew open, flooded with tears, and giving off an eerie glow. The irises flashed blood red, illuminating the room, then his entire eyes were swallowed by the color, leaving them blank and terrifying. Ruddiger cowered into the corner as Varian’s sobs morphed into growls, deep and feral. More snaps and pops filled the air and Varian’s entire body shifted, bones moving about underneath his skin. He almost seemed to stretch, horrifyingly slow, as his hair turned gray from the roots. It dimmed the blue stripe to the same color then spread, patches of fur sprouting in random places and evening out with the boy’s hair.

Varian’s face was lost in the fur, replaced with a snout and a wet dog nose. The alchemist’s entire body seemed to have been swallowed whole, because that couldn’t be- it couldn’t be him. The panting beast left behind was so unlike his friend, so large and scary where his human was small and kind. Every instinct Ruddiger had told him to run for the hills. But below the terrifying exterior, he could pick up Varian’s scent. And Varian couldn’t have just… disappeared, could he?

The Wolf- Varian?- was out of breath, staring at the ceiling with wide, bright red eyes. That huge chest rose and fell unsteadily, pain still evidenced in his posture. But then, he turned onto his front, climbing onto four wobbly paws. He looked awkward and confused, not right. It was Varian. Ruddiger chittered worriedly, one paw slipping into the light, and Varian’s eyes snapped in his direction. They locked gazes for all of five seconds, then the wolf turned and ran out the door, disappearing into the night before Ruddiger could do anything.

—

When Varian woke, he was cold. Not for lack of clothes, he could feel them clinging to his lean frame. But he wasn’t in the comfort and safety of his home. He peeled his eyes open, head splitting with a dull migraine, and stared up at the forest canopy. He was outside.

And he remembered everything.

Panic was the first thing to come back, overactive mind reeling as it recalled all the events of the night before. He- he was a monster. A full blown, scary story, fanged and hulking monster. He’d gone wild in the empty streets of the village, ravaging chicken coops and frightening livestock.

He’d chosen for this to happen.

Of course the scary wolf spirit was a curse! How could anything offering to help him for a price not be?? And now he was- he was stuck like this, and it was terrifying.

“Oh no,” he breathed, one hand clamping over his mouth as he just laid there, back against the earth. Tears were gathering on his lower lashes all over again, but not from pain. He’d done this to himself.

He turned over onto his side and curled in on himself, sniffling against the tears. What would everyone think of him now? Being the ‘wizard’ was bad enough, even when it was clearly false. Now he was an actual monster, in every iterence of the word. He’d wanted to help his village, and he’d only added onto the burden.

What would Rapunzel think? The princess had been nothing but kind to him since they met, and she’d trusted him. She’d promised everything would be alright, that they’d work together to find a solution to the rocks. If he’d just listened to her, maybe this wouldn’t have happened! But no, he had to go and make impulsive decisions, and try to take matters into his own hands.

What would Flynn think? He was a hero! Monsters were always the villains in storybooks. The hero vanquished the villain. And Cassie? After they’d just started to get to know each other? The monster never got the girl!

And Dad. Oh sun, Dad. Dad would never look at him again. He’d lock him away for good, and throw away the key. He’d look at him and only see an abomination, not a son.

That’s what you wanted, a voice in his mind supplied. You were willing to risk it all to save them. No backing out now.

But it was right. In that single moment, a month before, he’d decided that whatever the wolf brought was better than what was happening. He’d believed, with a furious vindication, that it would be the perfect turn around. Finally, he’d understand why Dad pushed him away. He’d know the reason, because he chose the reason.

He cried quietly, hiding his face in the moist grass.

After what felt like hours, he felt something nuzzle into his side. He flinched away, fear still gripping his heart, but it only followed, rubbing with more persistence. He turned his head just a little and found a fuzzy face staring up at him, worry evident in those beady eyes.

“Ruddiger,” he whispered, realizing what a mess he must look like, crying on the ground with grass stains on his clothes. The raccoon didn’t mind, chubby face lighting up with delight at the realization that Varian was okay. He jumped at him, purring and sliding himself in between the boy’s arms, cuddling into his chest. Varian couldn’t help the weak laugh that escaped, one arm wrapping around his friend.

Ruddiger had seen him last night. He’d been there for every moment, every gruesome detail. And even after all that, he was still right here beside him.

“What’d I do to deserve you?” He croaked, burying his face in his soft fur. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. That must have been so scary.” Ruddiger just chirped, nuzzling his little nose into the crook of Varian’s neck. The boy let out a shaky sob, hiding in the soft comfort his friend provided. If only for a moment, he could pretend everything was alright. It was just him and Ruddiger. There were no black rocks. There were no judgemental neighbors. There were no disappointed fathers. There was no Wolf Curse. Just a boy and his best friend.

Eventually, that moment had to come to an end, as the rest of him started to catch up. It was early morning, perhaps early enough for him to slip back home and pretend nothing had happened. Maybe, maybe he’d be able to sleep it off. Maybe he’d find a solution somewhere else. Or maybe he’d learn to live with it. He couldn’t do any of that laying on the forest floor.

“C’mon,” he mumbled, crawling onto his knees and hoisting the raccoon into his arms. Ruddiger was surprisingly light all of a sudden, easy to carry despite that extra weight he’d put on since moving in with the alchemist. Varian pushed it from his mind, turning all around. Somehow, he knew which way to go. He could hear the townsfolk, even from out here. He could smell the bakery, and the market, and the deli.

He pushed that out of his mind, too.

Upon arriving back at the village, he found himself in the midst of chaos. People were out in the streets, yelling at one another and frantically hurrying about. He could gather a few things they were saying, hearing sharper than it had been last he was here.

“My sheep-!”

“-something out there-“

“-the King!”

From over all the voices, he could hear his father, waving his hands for the crowd to calm. As usual, he got barely half the response he’d hoped for, only some people quieting to listen. Varian fought his way to the front, ignoring the harsh looks sent in his direction. He didn’t quite make it to his dad, but he got a clear view of the man.

“Everyone!” He boomed, hands outstretched in a placating gesture. “Don’t work yourselves up over nothing! A few wild animal attacks will not ruin our harvests.”

“I lost everything, Quirin!” A woman up front yelled, shaking a slaughtered chicken in her fist. “It could take me years to get it back!”

“It’s far too much destruction for just one night!” The short, burly man a few rows back cried. “The King needs to be notified of a potential threat!” More voices joined the cause, calling for another trip to the King. Quirin was fighting a losing fight.

Despite the situation, Varian felt something lift off his shoulders. No one had been holding his dad accountable for the rocks. With these so-called ‘animal attacks’, people were growing more desperate. They’d demand more results. Maybe, just maybe, this was what was needed to force his father’s hand.

Varian let out a sigh, arms wrapped around his chest. This was… this was good. If being a werewolf was the way to get results, then it was what he’d do.

At this point, he had nothing left to lose.

[royal-engineer-of-corona]

Not meaning to sound suspicious or anything, but did Ruddiger actually give you his consent to transform him into a giant mutant version of himself?

...

Well, uh...no-

The first time! I mean, the second time I asked him and it was for battle and everything. I think he understood.

But, uh, the first time...yeah I-I wasn’t really considering him in the matter.