#batting around an idea in my empty little brain of how his parents finally find out bc

[qprpbj]

parents think hes tryna impress a girl meanwhile darrys making out with paul holden in his backseat like hello ??

no bc it’s so personal and so funny to me. ESPPP dad. literally what dad in the 60s would ever in his right mind assume that the person his teenage son is trying to look good for is his brodude best friend since elementary school…like ik he’s oblivious as hell. karen curtis though…….i think Maybe she’d have a little inkling..

[lilliagradiewrites]

evermore (jj maybank)

Summary: Y/N is in a depressive state, but refuses to tell her boyfriend. After she walks out on a party, JJ realizes that something is off, and rushes to comfort her.

*based off of the song “evermore” from Taylor Swift’s new album!!

WC: 2.2k

WARNINGS: Mentions of depression/ symptoms of depression, mentions of anxiety & panic attacks, mentions of suicide/ death. (The reader is at a very low point during this. Please proceed with caution of mentions of depression triggers you.)

A/N: Hey my lovelies! I have a new piece for you. This is a one- shot, and is on the shorter side. If you don’t know, Taylor Swift released a new album on the 11th. I have been so obsessed with it, and one of my favorites from the record is the title track “evermore.” I knew i had to write something based off of that song! This is inspired by that song, and I encourage you to listen to it while you read.

Much love to you all, and happy holidays! I hope you enjoy!!

LET’S DO IT!

~~~~~~

The night was cold as you walked quietly down the street, the old cardigan your best friend gave you wrapped tightly around your shoulders. You weren’t dressed for the mid-october weather, your shorts and tank tops providing little warmth on your shivering body. As much as you hated the cold, it felt good to feel something again.

November was approaching quickly, and as you walked down the street that cold october night, you realized that you hadn’t had a true spark of happiness since that July. Of course, there were moments of joy, but it was never consistent, and lasted a day at the most.

You couldn’t seem to pinpoint the exact moment where everything went wrong, no matter how many times you’d tried. Countless times, you’d retraced your footsteps to find the moment your despair began. Unfortunately, this only resulted in distant memories from better times becoming fresh in your mind, pushing you deeper into the dark hole you were trapped in.

For a while, no one noticed a difference. Your group of friends, whom you adored, didn’t bat an eye when you left a party early because you were ‘tired’ or ‘not in the mood’, despite the fact that you loved parties. It hurt a little that they didn’t see a problem, and that only made the problem worse.

The first person to notice was JJ, your loving boyfriend. The blonde boy was the light of your life, but as your own issues began to overtake you, you found yourself pushing him away unintentionally. He would send texts, asking you to come over and see him. He'd invite you to come out to dinner with the pogues at The Wreck. He’d beg for your permission to show up at your house because he missed you so damn much.

Time after time, you replied with perfectly crafted excuses that left him concerned, but with no questions. That’s all you needed to accomplish, really. If he didn’t ask any questions, then you’d be fine.

The routine was working out pretty well for you in the beginning. JJ and the rest of the group would accept your excuses and go along with what you told them, even if they found it slightly suspicious.

But, after a while, your constant absence finally hit them. It was concerning, especially when it came to someone like you. Your parents weren’t strict, so it wasn’t an obedience thing. You loved parties, and were quite social, so it wasn’t a social anxiety thing. They wondered at their hangouts what could be wrong, but none of them could come up with a viable explanation.

Texts from your friends were lighting up your phone at a constant rate, but you trained yourself to ignore them. Your mind had convinced you that all of them hated you, and were only messaging you as a joke, or because they felt bad.

Though your brain tried to tell itself that JJ didn’t love you either, you were fighting hard against that idea. Even the slightest notion of your boyfriend no longer being interested in you broke you down into tears, so you tried to allow the thought to cross your mind as little as possible.

He texted you every day, asking if you were okay and trying to make plans. He texted you good morning, and goodnight, as well as a few other times throughout the day. He was a wonderful boyfriend, and you appreciated him, but you didn’t have the energy to show him the attention he deserved. You texted back for a while, but eventually gave up, leaving him on read almost every single time.

For the last few weeks, JJ had been broken up with worry. He worried that you were mad at him, that you hated him. He worried that you were leaving him. So, he showed up at your house.

As soon as he walked in your room, he could tell that something was incredibly off. You were normally a somewhat neat person, but your room was in complete disarray. Clothes littered the floor, empty plates and half-eaten bags of chips tossed absentmindedly to various locations.

And you. You looked like you hadn’t changed or bathed in weeks. Your hair was messy, and your face looked as if you’d been crying for years.

When you saw his face, your mask slipped on without a second thought.

“JJ! Hi, babes!”

“Hi, angel.” He replied, concern evident in his voice as he spoke. “I haven’t really seen you in forever. Are you okay?”

You nodded immediately, concealing your true feelings. “I’m okay. I’ve been taking up extra shifts at work because I need money for college soon. I’m trying to save up early. I’ve been so busy and exhausted, I just haven’t had the time or energy to see anybody.”

Lie. You got fired from your job a month ago because you called out ‘sick’ too many times.

JJ was still suspicious, but went accepted your story just as he had many times before.

“Alright, babe. I just miss you a lot. Take a break soon. Are you working tonight?”

“No.” You couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him again.

“Well, then, you’re coming to hang out.”

You shook your head quickly, pulling your hands away from his. “No thanks, JJ. I had a late shift last night and I’m exhausted. Plus, I have an early shift tomorrow morning, and I refuse to go in hungover.”

JJ took your hands back into his, meeting your eyes. “You don’t have to stay late, and you don’t have to drink. Just come for a little bit. Like, literally for an hour. We all just miss you so much.”

When he was looking into your eyes like that, you couldn’t help but say yes. Though you knew you’d come to regret it, the smile on his face after you agreed made it all seem worth it at the time.

“Yes! Okay, my love, I have to go deliver some stuff for Pope’s dad. The party starts at ten, so I’ll pick you up at nine-thirty.”

You didn’t say anything, simply nodding to indicate that you’d heard him and understood what he said.

“Bye, baby. I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” It was barely a whisper, but it seemed to be enough for JJ. He gave you one final wave before exiting your bedroom and closing the door in his wake.

When he had gone, your anxiety began to cover you. You had come to hate gatherings and parties, despite the fact that they used to be your main source of happiness and excitement. How were you going to make it through this party?

Sighing, you turned to your bedside table, moving around empty cups to peer at the time on your alarm clock. It was hard to read due to the tears in your eyes blurring your vision slightly. After a moment, you were able to decipher the numbers on the screen. 8:06 PM. You had approximately an hour and half to get ready before your boyfriend would be there to pick you up.

The first half hour, you decided, would be used for praying you were able to make it through this night.

---

About 70 minutes after your boyfriend’s visit, the clock on your bedside table read 9:12 PM. You sat at your vanity, brushing on small amounts of makeup. You didn’t want anything too crazy like you used to do; it just didn’t feel right anymore.

The same thing applied to your outfit. After almost an hour of trying things on, you went for something simple. A sage green tank top, your favorite blue jean shorts, and a basic oversized white cardigan kie had given you. The outfit was basic, but cute nonetheless. You completed the look with your pair of slip-on vans that were so beat up they could barely be classified as white anymore.

Your hair, which you normally would curl or style for parties, had been brushed through and left down. That was all you had the energy for. The party hadn’t even started yet, and you were already exhausted.

At least you had showered. It had been over a week since you last bathed, and this party gave you incentive to take care of yourself. That’s the only thing you were grateful for when it came to this party.

As you finished getting ready, you promised yourself that you would try your best to enjoy the night.

JJ had come to pick you up as he told you he would, at nine-thirty on the dot. He was always careful to be very punctual when it comes to you. He said you looked pretty when you got in his car, and the small compliment warmed your heart significantly.

The party was smaller than your normal ones. The pogues were all there, and they were all happy to finally see you again. You greeted them kindly and took your seat beside JJ, wanting to make the night go by as quickly as possible. You had hardly even arrived and you were already anxious.

As the night went by, your anxiety only got worse. You began to zone out, not paying attention to the conversation. You snapped back to reality when the whole group laughed at some joke someone told, and you just chuckled nervously along, hoping nobody noticed you weren’t being attentive.

A few hours went by, slowly but surely, and you decided that you had to be done for the night. You had been on the brink of a panic attack for the last hour, and it was getting harder to fight it off.

“Alright, guys, I’m tired. I’m probably gonna head home. I’ll see y’all later.” You announced, standing up from your seat. Immediately, JJ stood up with you, leaning into your ear.

“I’m too drunk to drive, babe. Do you think you can wait a little longer for me to sober up?”

You shook your head lightly, pushing him away. “No, it’s ok, babes. I’m just gonna walk. I don’t want to pull you away from the party anyways.”

A look of concern took over the blonde’s face. “I don’t like that. You can’t walk by yourself at night, it’s not safe.”

“I’ll be fine, J.” You assured him. “I live, like, a five minute walk away from here. We’re super close to my house. It’ll be okay.”

JJ continued to insist that you wait, but you insisted on leaving. You reassured him multiple times that you’d be alright, kissed him, grabbed your cardigan and left.

That’s how you ended up in your current position, sobbing into your cardigan sleeve as the night grew colder and colder. You were still walking along the road to your house.

You hadn’t realized how cold it was when you left. Maybe it’s because you;d been sitting up against JJ, his body heat mixing with yours to help keep the both of you warm. Now, you were all alone, with nothing but your thin cardigan to protect you from the chill of october night.

As you walked, and cried, you wondered what it would be like to just stop breathing.

Your thoughts were halted by the sound of footsteps pounding the pavement behind you. Immediately, you tensed up, suddenly scared. Who was running on the streets late at night, besides her? Who had a reason, other than kidnapping or killing someone?

You turned slowly around, and your body relaxed as you realized you recognized the person barreling towards you.

A familiar blonde boy was running in your direction, seemingly desperate to catch up with you. You stopped walking, giving him time to meet you.

“JJ?” You were talking as soon as he was close enough to hear. “What are you doing, babe? You’re supposed to be at the party.”

“I’m walking you home. I’ll go back once I know you’re safe.” He explained. He looked almost triumphant at the fact that he’d caught up with you, but his expression changed to one of concern after he got a good look at your face.

“Y/N… have you been crying?”

You shook your head, almost in instinct, but he saw right through you.

“Yes, you have. Baby, what’s wrong? Did one of us say something? What happened?”

As you looked in his eyes, those beautiful blue orbs as rocky and deep as the ocean, you felt your mask begin to slip.

“I’m not okay, J. I haven’t been for a long time.” Your voice cracked as you spoke, and the tears came almost immediately after you’d finished.

JJ took you into his arms and held you close, and for a moment, the two of you just stood there on the side of the road.

JJ let you sob for a little while, just holding you and murmuring sweet words to you. Eventually, he pulled away and looked directly into your eyes.

“I’m here for you, okay? We’ll get through this, my love. I don’t know exactly what’s going on yet, but we’ll figure it out. Together. I promise. I love you so much, Y/N. So fucking much.”

He pulled you back into his chest, and in that moment, it dawned on you.

This wasn’t the end. This pain wouldn’t last for evermore. It would pass, and JJ would be there with you when it did.

So, for the first time in a while, you finally felt okay.

~~~~

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Reblogs are super helpful and super appreciated. LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Happy holidays! - Lillia

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

The Best Things ~ J.V. (Part 10)

A/n: What, thought I was done with this series. HA NO!! I still have a playlist for this shit and it fuels me. Just, slowly.

Word Count: 5000+

PLAYLIST

Masterlist

"Parents will never admit to this, but they always have a favorite." Jerome looked at Jeremiah as he lounged on his chair. "Right, brother?" Harley felt eyes on him so he looked over, only to look directly in Bruce's eyes. There was something there that spoke to Harley what both boys knew- this wasn't about Bruce. The younger boy seemed to be trying to reason or apologize without words, but Harley just looked away. It was far too late for that bullshit. "The one who cleans their room. Does their homework." Every word was a twist of a knife Harley didn't realize was buried in his chest. He was maybe the one who understood Jerome the most. Maybe that's why they'd gotten this far with each other. "Who doesn't try to kill everybody." Harley smiled. "Little Mr. Perfect here? Yeah. He was that guy. He was adopted by rich folks. Went to the top schools, then a top college." Harley suddenly felt angry. Angry at Jerome's family. At everyone in Jerome's past, in fact. Especially at Jeremiah Valeska. And you know what... at Bruce Wayne too. "Meanwhile, I got dragged through the circus by my depressed, alcoholic mother. Forced to clean up elephant dung every day."

"Who cares?" Someone in the crowd shouted. People began to speak up in agreement.

Harley stepped forward. "Don't interrupt the man!" He hefted his bat and the crowd suddenly went silent.

Jerome looked pleased, but his smile died quickly as he returned to his little rant. Harley moved behind him, running his free hand through Jerome's hair every once in a while. "Do you know how big those things are?" He was completely calm, but in a sort of empty way as his eyes searched out people in the crowd. Harley recognized the plea. For understanding. For pity. For anything. Someone to get him and not judge him and tell him that he was right to be doing what he was doing. Everyone's disapproval didn't stop him, but he yearned for someone to love him and it was so very clear to Harley now more than ever that it upset him. Why were people always so cruel? "But I know something mommy and daddy," Jerome continued. "They never knew. You’re as crazy as I am." Jerome dropped the mic, standing. "It's in your DNA." He turned to Jeremiah, Harley right next to him, still brandishing his bat as he watched Jerome's back. "See, we got the same blood running through us. We are practically identical. You are a killer." He had a knife and he moved close to Jeremiah, obviously trying to put him on edge. "It's in your nature. Stop trying to fight it." He cut Jeremiah's ties and there was a pause. "Take your best shot."

"What?" Harley demanded, turning around. He found his body stiff with panic. Hard to move and respond with. Jeremiah was holding the knife Jerome had been a few seconds before. He went to step forward to stop this, but Jerome held up a hand. Harley looked at Jerome with rage. "Jerome-" Jerome shushed him.

Perhaps the man still could take Harley by surprise.

Jeremiah looked at his brother, his features slowly twisting with more and more anger until he screamed, trying to tackle Jerome to the ground but failing. Jerome giggled as he kicked Jeremiah and Harley frowned. He stepped away, irritated that Jerome hadn't at least cued him in on this part of the plan. At least given him a head's up or something... As he looked away, he noticed Bruce. This time the boy was looking at Jeremiah, his face twisted in pain and anger. Harley rose an eyebrow. He'd seen Bruce be pissed by injustice before, but there wasn't just his sense of right or wrong driving him to these emotions. There was a sort of protectiveness in the way his hands curled into fists. He'd only seen it when someone had gotten a little too rough with Y/n back in the days, or when Selina had been in danger those few times Harley had seen Bruce get protective of her.

What were the odds that Harley wasn't the only Wayne that had a crush of some kind on a Valeska?

From the way he struggled against his ropes, Harley was starting to think they were getting more probable by the second.

Everything was cut short as gun fire went off on the rooftops, diverting Jerome's attention just long enough to be shot in the shoulder by Jim Gordon. Bruce escaped, Jerome's trigger didn't work, and everyone was scattering as a giant blimp began to inch across the sky. Harley moved to Jerome, slinging Jerome's arm around his shoulders. Jerome pulled away though. "What's up?" Harley demanded, desperate to escape in the chaos.

Jerome groaned. "I have an idea. But we need to go up." Harley hesitated but then nodded, both of the men running to a nearby building and up the flight of stairs to the roof. Harley hid just out of sight when Jerome told him to. Jim busted onto the scene moments later and Harley ducked out of sight, moving so he could still see even if he couldn't quite hear. Words, at least. The gun shots he heard clearly. One to Jerome's hand, knocking the phone away. Another to his stomach, and Jerome was falling. Back. Off the ledge and over.

Harley almost threw up. He was stunned, eyes wide as he watched Gordon scramble forward. He only got comfort when he heard talking over the side and saw Jim reach down a hand... Harley rushed forward, hitting the back of Jim's head with the bat he still had. The officer crumbled.

"Gordon?"

Harley leaned over the side to see Jerome barely dangling by a pole. "You idiot." Only now did Harley realize he was crying. He reached down but Jerome just frowned, not taking it. Something then dawned on Harley and the boy paled. "You weren't going to take his hand either, were you?"

Jerome grunted, rolling his eyes. "This is the end of the line for me, Harley."

"No the fuck it isn't," Harley snapped back. "You promised me we'd talk about us later." He shook his hand, offering it again. "You've been driven by hate and loneliness and spite your entire life. You didn't think past that night you killed your mom, did you?” Something changed in Jerome’s face, but Harley was too angry to stop. “You barely tried to hide it, and you made minimal effort to get away with it. Then after, you stayed in Gotham to, what? Destroy your brother?" Harley scoffed. "I'm tired of this Jerome. Damnit, I'm tired of watching people suffer." He sniffed and Jerome's face seemed to relax as he actually listened. "We can kill whoever you want, I don't care. But my brother and your brother have a crush on each other and it's hilarious and I need you here to laugh with me about it, okay?" He choked up. "I need you to rule this stupid town with me. Or to not to. Maybe we could stay lowkey or leave. Maybe we could hide out somewhere and just go missing or fake our deaths and never show our faces again so no one knows we're around to even find us. Maybe..." He shrugged. "You can take me to whatever hell you want to Jerome. Let's blow more things up and kiss over dead bodies. You don't have to ruin your brother just because he ruined you. Or maybe you do. Whatever. Just come back with me, okay? Please." Harley stretched out his hand more and Jerome got a new look on his face.

He took Harley's hand, and Harley hauled him up, struggling only minority. The second he was standing, Harley grabbed his face and kissed him. Jerome hooked his good arm around Harley's waist, keeping them close. "You love me."

Harley held tightly to Jerome, closing his eyes as he tried to let go of the mental image his brain was trying to create of Jerome being flattened on the street below. "More than I even love myself," Harley confirmed. "It's probably why I've stuck around, really."

Jerome hummed. "Our brothers have a thing for each other, huh?"

Harley laughed. He leaned back and Jerome reached up, wiping the tears away. "Maybe we could just let them be." Harley shrugged again, struggling to come up with the words to explain how he was feeling. "If they really do like each other..."

"My brother is as messed up as I am," Jerome warned. "I'm at least fun- he's just manipulative."

Harley nodded. "Then what better way to break them than have them break each other, hm?" Harley nudged him. "And if he does end up being total shit, then we can turn him crazy just like you want to with that gas of yours." Harley sighed. "Just, I don't know, my brother deserves to be happy. He's lost his parents and now his brother and his whole world is on its head and-" he stopped cold, sucking in a sharp breath. "It's his birthday today." The day occurred to him suddenly and he looked up at Jerome, pleading. "Would it be too much to ask for?"

Jerome pursed his lips. "When he hurts him-"

"You can kill him, and I'll help you."

A smile finally grew on Jerome's lips. He knew this was a win-win. Either he was wrong about his brother and they all got somewhat of a happy ending, or he was going to see some actual fun. Either way, it was going to be entertaining. "Fine." He sighed. "We have to get to his little base quick then, though." His smile grew and Harley felt himself get excited.

-

"Hey Handsome."

Jeremiah jumped at the sound of Harley's voice. He went tense, looking around for his brother who usually accompanied the boy in front of him. No sign. "What are you doing here?"

Harley shrugged. He was pretty amicable so Jeremiah calmed even if he didn't totally relax. "I killed Jerome."

That seemed to take Jeremiah by surprise. Understandable. He wanted to doubt Harley, but the boy's expression was open and honest. Even vulnerable, like he was apologizing. "Why?" He asked instead of voicing doubts that were slipping away. Harley was wearing a casual t-shirt and jeans now, different from the little fancy get up he'd been wearing while with Jerome. There was something different about the boy in front of him as well. Something distinctively different than the Harley that had flirted with him a foot away from Jeremiah's brother, who was presumably also Harley's boyfriend.

"He tried to kill Bruce." Harley sighed, leaning against the wall behind him. "We had an agreement that Bruce was untouchable. If he died accidentally because he was being an idiot, fine. But Jerome sought him out specifically. And on his birthday." Harley clicked his tongue, shaking his head back and forth. "Bruce can hate me. He has every right to. But he's still my younger brother." He looked away. "He means everything to me, you know. We used to be best friends." He smiled softly but then looked back at Jeremiah, clearing his throat. "Sorry. I'm sure you're not wanting to hear that after I've told you your own brother is dead."

"No,"Jeremiah reassured. "It's actually quite a relief." Harley nodded as if he understood. "Wait but why did you come here? Just to...tell me that?" Harley held up a purple package with a huge silver ribbon. Only then did Jeremiah realize the boy had been holding it at all. "And what's that?"

"Jerome came up with a gas. Had Scarecrow make it himself. Kind of like fear gas, but it makes you..." Harley tilted his head back and forth as he searched for the word. "More like Jerome, to put it nicely. Unhinged." Jeremiah stepped back from the box, curling into himself. "I didn't want his plan to succeed, so I'm here to step in."

Jeremiah looked at Harley, confused again. "Why would you care what happened to me?"

A smile rose to Harley's face, soft and rather attractive. Jeremiah had already come to terms with the fact that he was attracted to Harley Quinn. He was also attracted to Bruce Wayne, so maybe it was just that the Wayne bloodline produced very good looking men. Whatever it was, Harley seemed much more welcoming and friendly now compared to his flirting the last time they'd had an extended conversation. One where Harley had stood up for Jerome and seemed to hate Jeremiah. One that had left an impression to someone who was quite opposite of the man standing in front of Jeremiah now. "I see the way my brother looks at you."

Jeremiah felt his heart pick up. "You- what?"

Harley giggled. "I don't think even he knows yet, but he does have some feeling toward you. I figure he's lost enough people. Had far too many opportunities for something he deserved pass him by. He's sacrificed enough." Harley stepped forward, closer to Jeremiah. "I guess I want to get you guys together. Maybe one relationship between a Valeska and Wayne can actually work out." Harley's smile was strained here and Jeremiah felt pity for the boy. "So what do you say? You couldn't tell him I was around, of course, but I'm sure you'd do a lot better with a bit of help."

Excitement rose up in Jeremiah's features. "You can stay here if you want. I have a free room I could make into somewhere you can sleep."

Harley grinned. "How sweet. I actually would appreciate that, if you don't mind." He stepped away. "I have to dispose of this, but... you know, I think we're gonna be good friends." He nodded in a silent farewell and Jeremiah smiled in return. Harley found his way out himself. Jeremiah didn't think anything of it as he was far too excited thinking about the possibility that Bruce Wayne could return his feelings on any level, as well as the possibility of having a real guy friend his age. Ecco was cool, but branching out a bit wouldn't hurt.

It took five minutes for Harley to find his way out. He skipped to the waiting car then got in the driver's seat, starting it up and taking off. Jerome grinned from the passenger seat. "How is it that you got around without that little blonde girl following you?"

Harley scoffed cockily. "If you and him think the same, then I can just as easily figure out that maze of his as you can. The same way I assume Ecco has it down as well. She knows Jeremiah like the back of her hand. The same way that I know you." He shot a wink at Jerome who smirked, leaning back in his seat.

"So you're my little secret weapon, eh?"

Harley giggled as he pulled to a stop at the building they'd been hiding out in since escaping Arkham. "Something like that."

Jerome leaned over, catching Harley's chin in his fingers, and then Harley's lips with his own. The kiss was slow and deep and purposeful, and it made all of Harley's insides light on fire. "You know, I love you too." Harley's head was spinning and he couldn't wrap his mind around that kiss let alone the words that had followed it. Jerome had never kissed him like that.

"What a joker," Harley croaked. It had become a bit of a running gag  to call Jerome that. "Cute but totally rude."

Jerome's hold on Harley's face tightened. He looked angry. Maybe Harley had offended him. But how could he have? “You know Harley, I show you every time I've been genuine. You've seen me afraid. You've seen me sad. You've seen me confused. You've seen me have many other emotions beside just amusement and anger which is what most people see. You've seen me about to jump off a building and end it all for god's sake." Harley swallowed, trying not to let that exact instance come back to him as a memory in his already muddled state. "Do I look like I'm joking to you?"

Harley wet his lips. "Why me?"

Jerome smiled, giggling softly. "Because you're just like me, and you accept that. You thrive off of it. I don't have to bend and twist to get it out- you wear your crazy like a badge. You walk through fire to be with me just because I've asked you to. Because you love me, and I like it, even though I’ve despised the thought of love... until now. You're probably the only person in my life who's ever loved me." His hold loosened in favor of caressing Harley's face. "You were right, you know." He snorted, as if amused by the sentence. He must not have said it a lot. "You can't just belong to me. And you don't. I belong to you too. I really would do anything for you." Smiling, Harley leaned forward and kissed him again.

There was a certain excitement in the moment. Jerome loved him.

There was also a sense of dread. A sense of being locked up, in a sense. Jerome had never been loved before. Had never loved anyone more than he loved himself before. He wouldn't handle it well if Harley was hurt or left him. Harley couldn't imagine wanting to leave Jerome after everything they've been through, but normal relationships always had the recognition that it might happen, right? You dreaded that moment and hoped it never happened... By the look in Jerome's eyes, Harley knew that wasn't a possibility. They were stuck together forever now. It was Jerome's Harley and Harley's little Joker. Forever.

Or, at least, until death do them part.

-

"Hey Lovebird," Harley greeted brightly one morning.

Jeremiah scoffed, but he was smiling so Harley knew no harm had been done. "Good morning Harley."

Harley waved at Ecco who nodded at him in return, a small smile on her face. "Any plans today?" Harley asked, setting himself down next to Jeremiah.

A little coy curve of his lips was answer enough, but Jeremiah explained anyway. "Bruce is coming over today to see the new prototypes." Here he got excited, going into full nerd mode. Harley and Jeremiah had begun to get close. It was kind of wild to see a sane version of Jerome. Boring though. Harley could never bring himself to spend too much time with Jeremiah before he needed to visit his boyfriend again.

His boyfriend. Jerome had finally made it official and had picked up the pet names again. Harley was weak over it. He didn't think he'd ever have a boyfriend, let alone one who was so unapologetically proud of being with him. Someone who really loved him and encouraged him to be himself. It was exhilarating.

Ecco brushed her fingers along the back of Harley's head. The boy knocked out of his thoughts and looked up to see Jeremiah looking expectantly. "Oh sorry." Harley blushed, embarrassed. "What did you say?"

Jeremiah shook his head, but he still had that amused smirk on his face. A teasing expression. Lighthearted. "I was saying that I was thinking about maybe asking him on a date after. If... if you think it's not too early to do that? Or if he won't totally shoot me down?" He got nervous.

It seemed that Jeremiah had gotten into the habit of ignoring little odd things Harley did. He still hadn't asked how Harley so easily found his way through the maze, nor did he question little moments like just now. What could Harley be so happy about? Maybe he wrote it all down to Harley's time with Jerome and his excitement for the possibility of his brother being happy or something. I think Jeremiah was basking in the feeling of watching two brothers really care about each other- something he never experienced but undoubtedly had wanted in some way or another. Harley was curious but couldn't ask, himself. All the odd things he was doing didn't need to be brought to light in favor of exposing the little odd things Jeremiah was doing. And Ecco seemed to trust Harley enough, as long as he made no move to hurt Jeremiah in any way. So for now, it was fine. I guess.

"I don't really know," Harley relented. "The only relationship I've ever been in wasn't exactly... normal."

Jeremiah suddenly got very serious. "Of course, sorry."

"No worries," Harley dismissed. "I just mean I would probably be a bad gauge of timing. I think you should go for it though. Maybe try to be subtle, but definitely drop some hints and give it a try." He smiled and Jeremiah mirrored the expression, relaxing as he daydreamed just a little bit about things that might happen if this whole thing went well. "Until then," Harley continued, flicking Jeremiah's shoulder to get his attention back. Jeremiah blushed, making Ecco smirk and roll her eyes. "Let's make some dinner. Nothing will get him to stay like some good food, and knowing him, he'll probably have skipped a meal again while still unsure if Jerome is alive or not." Harley looked at his hands.

Jeremiah swallowed. "Yeah, makes sense." He moved to Harley, nudging Harley's shoulder with his own. "Come and help me?" He was trying to be a good friend and keep Harley distracted from sad thoughts. Little did he know that Harley was simply annoyed. He just wanted to be happy with his boyfriend without his brother trying to find them both and throw them back in that hell hole Arkham.

"Fore sure," Harley responded anyway, forcing a smile. "We better hurry. Waynes have high standards for food."

-

Harley chilled in the room with all the monitors as Jeremiah showed off his prototype to Bruce. Jeremiah had moved the operation to the room to allow Harley to listen in and gauge Bruce's reaction to things. Harley couldn't help without coming out and revealing himself, but Ecco went back and forth so if Jeremiah really needed a hand he could give advice through her. Harley and Ecco together were really good at coming up with solutions and dealing with romance. They seemed to be able to find a whole braincell between them, and it worked well. It was quite impressive actually.

Bruce seemed super interested in Jeremiah's little project, but every once in a while those eyes full of light and excitement would turn from the energy thingy - Jeremiah had explained it maybe hundreds of times to Harley, but he still didn't exactly get how it worked - to Jeremiah, and his eyes would get even brighter; his smile even wider. Harley got it, honestly. Jeremiah was shy and soft spoken for the most part but get him talking about his idea for this cleaner power source and he came alive in a way that made him all levels of adorable. He used his hands to talk when he was excited, and kept looking between the project he was explaining and the boy he was explaining it to. Every time the boys' eyes met, both of them got a little pinker and it made Harley giggle.

"They're such nerds," Harley scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"They're idiots," Ecco agreed. "Which is crazy considering they're both seen as geniuses in Gotham. Especially Jeremiah." They both laughed softly before Ecco headed out again, leaving Harley alone.

Watching them took quite a while, and as time passed Harley found himself getting more sad. He wished that he could do things like that with Jerome. Flirt and geek out together and share little looks and innocent moments. Go on dates and hold hands and share long looks and dusty pink blushes. Harley wondered if Jerome had ever looked at him like that. No, such a soft look didn’t belong on Jerome’s face.

Eventually it ended and outside the compound, Jeremiah asked Bruce on a date. Obviously the boy said yes. Inside, the trio of friends celebrated as Bruce went home that night. And after they’d cheered and congratulated, Harley told Jeremiah that he needed some air and headed out.

This was another odd thing that Jeremiah was choosing to ignore. Sometimes Harley stayed the night and sometimes he didn’t. No one questioned it.

Harley headed to the hideout where Jerome was waiting for him. He was busy though, seeming distracted by a small book and lots of drawings. Harley planted himself on the couch to give Jerome some space. Whether he was planning or just musing, Jerome likes his space when doing it. Harley was willing to wait and give it to him.

In the quiet, Harley’s mind wandered back to his thoughts from earlier. He imagined just for a second, a world where Jerome’s smiles were soft. Where his smiles were warm. Where his eyes were wide and his words were honest and soothing. Where his touch was gentle. Where they were together and they cuddled in the park during lunchtime and had a picnic as Jerome rubbed his back and they both lay in peace and quiet. He imagined kisses that brushed rather than bruised. It was a sweet thought. A fantasy he’d loved as a child.

Did he still like it? Could he imagine himself in a life where he got a job and wore a suit or even a tshirt and jeans like he had been for Jeremiah? Like he had when he wasn’t Harley Quinn? Honestly, he couldn’t.

A frown took his face. He had nothing to distract him and icky feelings began to rise up, so he defaulted to habits that had yet to fail him. He went out to the store and got a drawing notebook and a pack of pencils and then colored pencils and got to work. He sat and drew as he continued to wait for Jerome, sifting through his mind.

He expected to draw that fantasy. That park and the grass and the serene expressions on his and Jerome’s faces. He couldn’t seem to bring himself to do it though and instead spent the next however long drawing memories rather than fantasy. All of them were Jerome, and there was blood everywhere. Most of them were just doodles, but the expressions he focused on. He made sure to capture the twisted enjoyment in each recall.

Only then did he divert to that sort of calm Jerome. Not Jeremiah, who was a coward and awkward and kind of annoying and paranoid and boring. A Jerome who’d grown up in a place that was loving and a world that was accepting.

This drawing took time. It was detailed and careful as Y/n drew the smiling face of a boy that had been destroyed before he even had a chance to begin. There was softness and warmth and gentleness and it made Y/n grown even more deeply.

“What’s that?”

He hadn’t realized Jerome and gotten up, but it didn’t bother him to show his boyfriend what he was doing. Harley had nothing to hide. “I’m having these thoughts. Watching Jeremiah and Bruce today...” he shrugged. “It made me think.”

Jerome hopped over the back of the couch, landing next to Harley. He tilted his head in curiosity. “Think about what?”

Harley offered a small smile. “You don’t want to hear about it.”

Raising an eyebrow, Jerome countered, “You don’t know what I want to know. Tell me!”

Sighing softly, Harley gave in. “You know every tine we have sex, it’s rough. And every time you kiss me it’s hard and desperate. Like it might be the last time. Every time you look at me there’s a heaviness in your expression. Like your affection for me is weighed down by something. By fear or anger or lust rather than love. And- I mean I don’t mind it. I like our sex.” He chuckled, rolling his eyes at himself. “I don’t know I just saw how they looked at each other today. And the awkward way that they communicated. Being coy and innocent and flirty. It was kind of cute. Made me realize I’ve never had anyone look at me like that.”

Jerome nodded as he listened. He was getting better at that as time passed. He was easily bored and antsy, but spending time with Harley seemed to ease him in some way. Just enough that the two could hold out a surprisingly functional relationship. It was why Harley spoke so honestly now- there were no more secrets between them.

Jerome tugged the book and writing utensils out of Harley’s hands, setting them on the ground before pushing him down on the couch. “Is that what you want?”

Well that wasn’t expected. “Do I want someone else? Of course not.”

“No,” Jerome corrected. His hand rose to stroke Harley’s neck. The boy shivered. “Do you want me to be gentle?”

“I-“ Yet again Jerome had somehow surprised him. “Why?”

Jerome shrugged. “You deserve the world, my dear. If you want someone to look at you like those idiots in those sappy movies, I’ll do it at least once. My motto is that you have to try everything at least once to see if you like it. It’s how I figured out I like men.”

That made Harley chuckle. He touched Jerome lovingly, humming in thought. “You don’t have to change for me, J.”

“I know.” His hips dipped and he grinded into Harley. The boy beneath him gasped, his lips parting and his head pressing into the couch as his grip fighting in Jerome’s arm and shoulder. “Do you want me to do it or not? Just so you know.”

Taking a second to regain his breath, Harley nodded. “Just as long as you’re in charge.”

Jerome grinned. “Good, because tonight I’m in the mood to make you feel really good.”

-

Male reader tag List: @sheepfather

[ghostiewriter]

chapter one | tale of a slightly unstable teen hero

Summary: JJ is starting to gain recognition around New York as the new hero in town. However, some complications arise with his new chemistry partner. Oh, and turns out he isn’t the only bloke around here with powers.

Warnings: John B is a simp, I feel like that needs a warning tbh. Umm there’s a lot of swearing (I’m Scottish, don’t judge), again some violence and fighting, also some cute ass moments between JJ and his mum so enjoy that

Word Count: 8.1K

A/N: Sooo there’s finally some Jiara in this chapter!! Hope you enjoy👀and I’m not responsible for any feels caused by JJ and Georgia Maybank!!

masterlist // taglist // ao3

“Spider-Man does it again! Report of our favourite web-slinging hero saving the day once again after a fatal accident left an apartment complex on the corner of 5th and 36th street in flames. The teen hero arrived at the scene not long after the distress call was made to the local fire department and managed to rescue over twelve people that were trapped on the top floor. New York thanks Spider-Man once again.”

JJ grinned as he leaned back in his seat, sparing a smug look towards John B in the driver’s seat. JJ didn’t usually carpool with John B but it was getting colder and his extra-curricular activities were wearing him exhausted by morning. Plus, the last time JJ skated to school when he was half asleep, Pope had to pull him out of a trash can. Turns out raccoons can be very territorial and did not appreciate the blond taking a small visit into their home. He was pretty sure he still had scars on his back from some of those little bastards.

“Three weeks on the job and you already have a little fanbase,” John B commented, reaching over to turn the radio down a little since the reporter moved onto some irrelevant news neither of the boys cared about. “Soon you’ll have a swarm of fangirls chasing after you while you fight crime.”

“Don’t be jealous, JB,” JJ grinned, both arms behind his head as he looked at the passing view. “I’m sure one of my groupies will slum it down for you.” He teased, only laughing when he felt the flick on his forehead.

As much as he hated to admit it, JJ had seriously enjoyed the past three weeks. They were intense, impulsive and unpredictable. Just how JJ liked his life to be. It wasn’t easy at first though, it took a good few attempts before the people of New York actually labelled him as a hero. Maybe it was because he was some young bloke who popped out of nowhere with abilities that no could really understand. Or maybe it was because he was going around in a red ski mask, blue shirt, a red vest with an awfully drawn spider on it and some blue joggers. He looked like a right on idiot, especially with the chunky goggles Pope added to his costume. But if it kept his identity secret, then so be it. The last thing JJ wanted was a bunch of journalists swarming his apartment, especially since he wanted to keep this whole alter ego away from his parents. In fact, he wanted to keep it away from anyone who wasn’t John B or Pope.

It was safer that way.

“At least that’s one more that Pope.” John B said nonchalantly.

“As if, dude!” JJ scoffed, grinning at the distressed—and fairly high pitched—‘WHAT’ that came from the brunette. “Oh, c’mon, Pope created a whole ass bat signal for me! You just sit there and look pretty! Pope gets at least two groupies.” He said with a shrug.

It was true. JJ knew Pope was smart, but this was next level. After realising that JJ wasn’t getting the recognition he needed to be labelled a ‘superhero’, Pope had come up with the ingenuous idea to infiltrate the police radio stations. Not only did they have full access to updates on crimes around the city, but Pope even felt a little fancy and made it so JJ would get a notification sent to his phone the second there was a job for Spider-Man. That boy was way too smart for his own good, but JJ was grateful for it.

“Aw, you think I’m pretty?” John B asked with a teasing grin.

“Yeah,” JJ smiled, reaching to place his hand on John B’s shoulder with a squeeze. “Pretty fucking ugly.”

John B’s smile instantly dropped as he scowled at JJ, who was happily snickering at the sudden change in mood. “Whatever, Spider-boy.”

“Yikes, low blow.”

The rest of the journey was spent in a similar vibe, except with JJ checking his phone every five minutes. He couldn’t help it, but the past three weeks had been some of the most exciting in his life. JJ had been labelled the troublemaker his whole life, the one that was throwing pencils into Mrs Ramirez’s curls because they looked like little hoops. Or even just doing his damn best to avoid the work he was given. It was a force of habit. JJ’s brain was running at a million miles a second. Nothing could hold him down, keep him entertained for longer than thirty minutes at most. And his teachers had constantly reminded him that his impulsive nature and high energy would lead him nowhere good in life.

All JJ had to say to them now was a massive ‘FUCK YOU!’ because how wrong they were. It was those qualities that made JJ the perfect hero. He could react quick to a sudden change, he was always on his feet, he had found something that not only could he channel all his energy into—but he was damn good at it as well. John B and Pope had warned him that it was best to keep himself humble, to not get too arrogant. But who was he kidding? JJ made a pretty fucking bomb superhero and everyone loved him. It seemed like he deserved to feel arrogant, to soak in his time in the spotlight. He enjoyed every single second.

So, can you really blame JJ for checking his phone, wanting an excuse to put that mask on and do the one thing he is good at? Except for skateboarding. Everyone knew JJ was the best skater in Queens.

Unfortunately, there was no sudden crimes that JJ could use as excuse to ditch school. A true tragedy, if you asked him. It seems like he will just have to suffer through another day of learning things that either happened way too long ago, didn’t make sense to him or he just truly didn’t care about. Which just happened to be basically every subject—excluding wood-shop. Except he was taken out of the class because apparently making mini bongs for birds is not okay. Who would’ve thought.

“I don’t see what the issue is—it’s a fool-proof plan!” John B argued as the two boys made their way through the corridors of Midtown High. Only stopping once they reached John B’s locker where he exchanged his books and JJ checked out the hallway for anything that caught his eye.

“Bro, you have a ten-year plan to end up with Sarah Cameron,” JJ stated bluntly. “And even then, you end up as her second husband—“

“No one can prove what happened to the first.”

“It’s fucking sad, JB.”

“It’s a solid plan.” John B stated simply and shrugged his shoulders, deciding to ignore JJ as he rolled his eyes, muttering something about John B being a ‘hopeless fool’. John B only grinned wider and glanced at his watch before whispering a small ‘shit’ to himself. “I gotta go, see you at lunch.” And with that, John B was zooming his way down the corridor.

“You know it’s really creepy that you plan when you bump into her!” JJ called down the corridor, but he doubted John B heard him. “Like really fucking creepy…like restraining order level creepy!

Once he noticed John B’s head turn the corner, undoubtedly on his way to ‘coincidentally’ bump into Sarah Cameron, JJ calmly made his way to his first period class, not in a big rush to get there.

**********

You see, after the incident in wood shop and many others after that, the school had taken the decision to move JJ into a class they deemed more valuable of his time. Chemistry. Stick the ADHD kid in a room full of chemicals…seemed about right. However, JJ was being transferred half way through the term with absolutely no knowledge in chemistry other than how to make a Molotov cocktail. Therefore, he didn’t really see an issue in showing up to a class he was already hopeless in. His teacher disagreed.

“Mr Maybank, it’s nice of you to finally join us.” Mr Marino—a middle-aged bald man who had looked as though he had been through one too many divorces and contained most of his knowledge in the form of his beer belly—commented as JJ entered the class.

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe what happened to me!” JJ sighed dramatically.

“Let me guess: your alarm didn’t go off.”

“It was my pet monkey, sir. Has a mind of its own.”

“Your pet monkey?”

“Yup, his name is JB. Nasty wee guy but I keep him around, he’s a good laugh. Could do with a shower though.”

“Take a seat, Maybank.”

“I can feel the love.” JJ grinned before he turned to look at the class. It was set up with eight workbenches, two seats at each. His eyes scanned over each one before he caught an empty seat at the back-left workbench, the only empty seat—and just his luck it was next to the curly haired beauty for the trip.

JJ was starting to think he might actually enjoy this class.

“We just keep meeting, sweetheart. I think it’s a sign.” JJ whispered to her as he took his seat next to her, definitely sitting a little closer than he had to. He tried not to smirk when he noticed her subtly moving away from him. JJ always loved a challenge.

“Or a punishment.” She replied bluntly, not even sparing JJ a glance.

“Aw, is this how it’s going to be for the rest of the year, princess?” JJ muttered with a pout. He tried not to smile when she finally turned to look at him.

“Rafe got a concussion.” She hissed.

“So?” JJ frowned.

“So? You caused it!”

“And I should care because?”

“He is banned from the football team for six weeks!”

JJ stared at her blankly. “And…?”

“He is the captain!”

“Boohoo, they’ll survive without him.” JJ shrugged, leaning back in his stool as he flashed her one of his usual girl-charming smiles. “But hey, if you’re really stressed out about it, I’m sure I can help you find a way to relax.”

“You’re a pig.” She stated with a small huff, stubbornly turning to face the front, planning to not even give him the chance to redeem himself. Trust me when I say Kiara is an open person, always there to give people a second chance. But JJ Maybank was not one of those people. In the three times she had met him, he had been nothing but a shameless flirt who had no care for the world beyond his sex life. She could be judging him too quickly, but in her defence, he hadn’t given her anything else to work with.

However, Kiara assumed her behaviour was clear enough that she didn’t want to talk to him, that she could gladly go the rest of the year without willingly speaking to him. But this is JJ. Hyperactive, unable to sit still JJ. He didn’t get the hint.

“So, do anything interesting this weekend?” JJ asked her, that classic smirk of his on his lips. But she didn’t answer him. Instead, she kept her gaze on Mr Marino and his oh-so interesting talk on bond orbitals within an atom.

JJ raised his eyebrows when he received no reply from her. “Giving me the silent treatment now? That’s a bit rude.” He commented.

“So is giving someone a concussion.” She stated.

“Do you want to know what I did?” JJ asked.

“No.”

“Geez, princess, no one ever taught you manners?” He teased, taking the pen he was spinning between his fingers to gently poke her arm. She only huffed and moved her seat further away.

“Okay, alright, fine! I get it…” JJ trailed off, and Kiara couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. But she spoke to soon. She heard the scrape of a chair and suddenly she could feel the warmth of JJ right beside her, their elbows just touching.

“Is there an issue, Mr Maybank?” She heard Mr Marino call out but the boy next to her just shook his head, that mischievous glint shining in his eyes.

“No, please carry on, Alan.” The blond replied, his fingers tapping against the worktop counter.

Kiara sighed. She knew very well that she could put her hand up and complain, or even ask Mr Marino to change seats after class ended. But she was stubborn, and she would be damned if she gave JJ that satisfaction of knowing that he got under her skin.

This was going to be a long year.

**********

“She called me JB! That basically takes three years off my plan!”

“Dude, I don’t know if this is really sad or creepy now…” JJ grimaced. He had spent the last fifteen minutes listening to John B and his ‘coincidental’ encounter with Sarah Cameron. And if he was being honest, he was concerned for his friend. And his stomach…this boy needed to let JJ eat his lunch before he had to hear one more comment about how ‘yellow is totally her colour’.

“I mean, it just compliments her complexion so well! C’mon, how many people do you know that can pull of yellow and not looked totally washed out!” John B argued. But JJ just met him with a blank stare.

“When the fuck did you become a fashion expert?” JJ spoke up, his nose scrunched in confusion.

“I took a class once.”

JJ looked at him with his mouth agape. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Piss off, I wanted to learn how to dress better.”

“Says the guy that wears horrible thrifted Hawaiian shirts.” JJ deadpanned. John B only rolled his eyes and turned his attention back onto Sarah.

JJ followed his line of sight towards Sarah Cameron and her group, and he was shocked at the sight. He noticed the usual people in their uptown outfits and obnoxious laughs he could unfortunately hear from his seat. But it was the sight of his chemistry partner looking quite cosy under Rafe’s arm that caught him off-guard. His eyebrows furrowed a little, but hey, JJ should have seen this coming. The uptown kids like to stick with each other. Yet, JJ couldn’t help but find the sight quite uncomfortable to look at—Rafe had that effect on people. It was a surprise he managed to score…JJ paused. He had spent a whole hour with her and yet, he didn’t even know her name.

He nudged John B, yet neither one of them looked away from the group. “Hey JB, who’s Sarah’s new chick?”

“Who?”

“The pretty curly haired one standing next to her, dumbass.”

“Oh…I don’t actually know—“

“—Kiara Carrera. Relocated here from Kernersville, North Carolina. Her father owns a large chain of restaurants around the country. She is also the only junior other than yours truly doing three AP classes, including environmental science, biology and English.” Pope finished, panting a little considering he had literally just ran into the cafeteria and heard the last few words of their conversation.

JJ looked up at Pope with a mix of awe and fear. “What, you forgot her national insurance number as well? How the fuck do you know all that?”

“The school files.” Pope answered easily as he turned his laptop around and with the screen facing them, JJ decided he was definitely a little scared of Pope.

“Those are meant to be locked away in some super, secret network thing!” JJ hissed, only to be met with a smirking Pope.

“As if, it’s easy as fuck to hack something as amateur as the school’s firewall. Could do it with my eyes closed.” He grinned at the two of them. “Why, JJ? Hiding something from us like…I don’t know…your middle name being Belinda.” He snickered.

“YOUR NAME IS BELINDA?!” John B gasped, looking at JJ with wide eyes.

“Shut up, would you!” JJ hissed at the both of them, leaning over the table to flick John B on the forehead. “I was named after my grandmother.”

“Aww, Grammie Belinda.” John B cooed. JJ only glared at him.

“Hey, Grammie Belinda was a saint, don’t disrespect her like that.” JJ huffed, pointing a finger towards John B. He then turned to Pope who had made himself comfortable in the seat next to him.

“Why were you asking about Kiara?” Pope asked JJ, snatching a few chips from his plate. JJ swatted his hand away but didn’t stop Pope from doing it again. “Does JJ have a little crush?” He teased, pouting a little.

“Piss off,” JJ laughed as he nudged Pope with his shoulder. “She’s just my chemistry partner.”

“Ooh, so you guys have chemistry together?” John B grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Fuck off, JB. Go back to stalking your little uptown princess.” JJ commented, returning the grin as both friends shook their head. They both knew the other meant no harm.

“Well, if you two little lovebirds are done having your moment,” Pope piped up, both boys looking over at him. “I need you to meet me on your rooftop at nine sharp tonight.”

“Damn, Pope, finally taking me out?”

“You wish, Spider-Boy,” He grinned, but the look he was giving made JJ a little nervous for what Pope had hidden up his sleeve. It could honestly range from a pet raccoon he befriended to creating some weird Frankenstein bug. “Just be there.”

John B pouted. “What about me?! Is this where I become the third-wheel?”

**********

“Mama?”

“In here!”

JJ dropped his bag by the couch as he made his way to the kitchen, the soft sound of the click telling him the door shut behind him. He sniffed the air as he walked in, seeing his mum at the stove and grinned a little, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“What’s for dinner?” He asked, peeking over her shoulder.

“Spaghetti,” She hummed, a soft smile on her lips as she peeked a glance at her son. “How was school?”

“The usual,” He answered with a shrug as he made his way to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water before heading towards his usual spot on the counter. “Teachers still don’t appreciate my comments, Pope said smart things I didn’t understand and JB was a love-sick puppy.”

She grinned, shaking her head a little. “I find John B’s attempts to woo that girl quite admirable actually,” She commented. “It wouldn’t kill you to be a hopeless romantic every once in a while.” Yet, she only laughed when she saw JJ’s face scrunch up in disgust.

Despite JJ’s reputation for being an adrenaline junkie who loves to live life on the edge, these were actually his favourite moments. The little moments he shared with his mum, just the two of them. It is one of the few moments in his life where he feels relaxed, no expectations or pressures. And as sappy as it sounded—and no offence to John B and Pope—but JJ wasn’t ashamed to admit that she was one of his best friends, one of the few people in his life he truly cared about. People like her are the reason he enjoys being Spider-Man, because despite the shit people in the world, there were some genuinely good people out there, like Georgia Maybank.

It was hard to believe JJ and Georgia Maybank were related. She was a sweetheart, the type of woman who would take time out of her own life to volunteer at local food shelters despite having just done a twelve-hour shift at the hospital. She is the type of woman to buy flowers and hand them to strangers on the street just to brighten someone’s day. She is the type of woman who would work her ass off to give her son all that she could, despite the struggles she faced with the bills and rent because her son was her life. She was the opposite of JJ’s hyperactive self.

But boy, did they look very similar. From the sandy blonde hair the two of them shared, to the bright blue eyes, to even the exact same smile. JJ really was a carbon copy of his mother. And there was a small part of her, one she would never outwardly admit, that adored the fact JJ looked so much like her. Like a primal mother instinct, she loved her son and she loved that everyone knew he was her son. She would be damned if someone ever asked her to hide that.

Georgia was the type of mother that had that warm aura around her, the one that made you just trust her with your life. The hugs she gives just makes you want to stay in her arms forever, because everything is just better with Georgia Maybank. JJ knew that and he always reminded himself of that. No matter what shit he gets into, no matter how much he may envy the uptown kids—none of them will ever have Georgia Maybank and he would gladly flaunt that.

He may not have designer clothes or a fancy car to drive to school. But they don’t have Georgia Maybank, dancing around barefoot in the kitchen while she badly sings along to some old 80s song that is playing on the radio, just to make him crack a smile.

JJ grinned as his mother grabbed his hand, pulling off the counter before they jokingly began to waltz around the small kitchen, some classical song playing from the small radio that sat on the counter by the stove. JJ only laughed as he apologized for stepping on her toes again, but she didn’t mind. She just smiled and continued to dance.

“Why do I have to do this? I’m starving, woman!” He whined playfully as he twirled his mum around a few times.

“Because, JJ, one day you’re going to have a beautiful girl—or boy, I won’t assume—that will somehow fall for that charm of yours,” She spoke softly, placing a hand on her son’s cheek, a proud glint in her eyes when he rolled his eyes at her statement but still had a small smile on his face. “And I will be damned if I don’t teach my son how to sweep a girl off her feet.”

“Nothing says romantic like stepping on a girl’s toes.” He stated bluntly.

Georgia only laughed and ruffled his hair before she turned back to the stove. She grabbed two plates, putting in a larger portion for JJ—which with his new transformation wouldn’t actually be enough but he will sneak out during the night to eat the leftovers when she’s asleep—before placing them on the small dining table in the corner, gesturing for him to join her.

The rest of the dinner was fairly uneventful, simply just JJ telling her about John B’s updated seven-year plan with Sarah Cameron and Georgia sharing any particularly interesting stories about patients she had to deal with during her shift. JJ really let this dinner sink in. As much as he loved his mother, her inability to say ‘no’ and be so giving kind of bothered him. Because she had taken up extra shifts for a few of her colleagues due to something about the ‘stress of wedding planning’. JJ had been seeing her less and less—and though it was good for his recent Spider-Man shenanigans—this dinner made him realise just how much he missed her. Just a nice, wee dinner with his mum, nothing else. And everything seemed to be going well, until he heard the radio presenter’s voice flowing through the kitchen.

“Locals say that Spider-Man is the next best thing to happen to New York since deep-fried pizza! But I don’t know, Janet. I mean, who is this kid? Where did he come from? There just seems to be a lot of unanswered questions with this so-called hero. Can we really trust some prepubescent boy who probably spends his day with his head in a textbook? It just doesn’t seem—“

The radio presenter was cut off by Georgia turning the volume down. “People can’t appreciate a good gesture anymore.” She huffed. JJ watched her closely as she finished off washing the last of the dishes before turning to face him, a small frown on her lips.

“I think he’s doing the city a favour.” JJ said half-heartedly with a shrug.

Georgia nodded, her fingers gently fiddling with chain around her neck, well more specifically the gold ring attached to it. “I know but,” She sighed. “What a shame, putting all this pressure on a poor teenage boy. Oh, I feel bad for his parents!”

JJ coughed a little. “It could be his decision, you know.”

Georgia continued as though she hadn’t heard him. “I could only imagine how stressful it would be have your son out there, throwing himself at danger.” She shook her head as she made her way to where JJ still sat at the dining table. “Promise me you wouldn’t do something so careless?” She asked sweetly, gently cupping his face in her hands as she looked down at him.

Now, JJ knew there was a teasing tone to her words. She wasn’t being serious because, how could she? Her son being a superhero with crazy powers? Not possible. She and JJ shared everything and it was because of that he couldn’t help but feel a wave of guilt wash over him. He hated lying to his mum, he hated keeping secrets from her. They were always close, JJ never felt the need to hide things from her. There was always such a comfortable vibe between them. But he knew how she would react if he told her the truth. He knew she would freak out and make him stop. And JJ didn’t want to stop. As much as he hated the guilt that bubbled inside him, he pushed it away and gave her a grin.

“Of course not, I would come up with a better name than Spider-Man.” He joked lightly and closed his eyes when he felt his mum press a kiss to his forehead. He nuzzled his head slightly as he wrapped his arms around her, resting his head against her stomach. He smiled softly when he felt her hands running through his hair, just like the way she used to do when he was younger and struggling to fall asleep. He tried to hold back a yawn.

“That’s my baby boy.” She said with a gentle laugh.

“Mama, I’m a not a baby! I’m a man now.” He whined but he didn’t pull away from her grip just yet. He missed his mum’s hugs, sue him.

“You’ll always be my baby boy.” She commented with a small shrug.

“Yeah, yeah,” He murmured. After a few moments of silence, he looked up at her, giving the best puppy-dog eyes he could. She was always a sucker for those. “Can I go hang out with JB and Pope tonight?” He asked with a sweet smile.

She rolled her eyes but nodded. “Just be back before your father gets home.”

**********

JJ rubbed his hands together as he stared at the view from the roof. New York looked absolutely stunning this time of year, especially at night. The sky was pitch black, and it should’ve seemed daunting. But the bright lights of the city illuminated everything. It was mesmerising, a sight that JJ would never get tired of seeing. And with his newly discovered powers, he found something therapeutic about swinging around the city and being surrounded those bright lights. It felt like he was swinging through the stars—he obviously didn’t share that with the boys, they would take the piss out of him. Speaking of which…

“Where the fuck is he?” JJ hissed, turning to look at John B who only shrugged in response. As much as JJ liked New York at night, it was cold. The lower body temperature caused by the spider bite really didn’t help the situation. He had a hoodie and a jacket on and still the light breeze was making his teeth chatter.

“I don’t know.” John B shrugged. JJ rolled his eyes in annoyance. It was 9:15pm and JJ was about five minutes away from freezing to death.

Just then, the rooftop door opened and a wild Pope was sprinting towards then, panting heavily as he ripped his backpack off and quickly unzipped it. Words were leaving his lips but between the panting, neither of them could work out what he was saying.

“Dude, calm down, breathe!” John B exclaimed. Pope nodded and took a minute to catch himself.

“Your lives are gonna change forever!” He grinned before looking at JJ. “Strip.”

JJ raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“Strip.”

“Dude, it’s like fifty fucking degrees, I am not gonna fucking strip!”

“Stop whining and do it!”

JJ huffed and started to take his clothes off, muttering some very…colourful phrases towards Pope. However, he didn’t get much time to question his friend’s demands because the second he was stripped down to his boxers, he had a bunch of fabric thrown at him.

“Wait…is this…?” He trailed off, looking at Pope with a new look of excitement shining in his eyes.

“You bet,” Pope grinned. “Say hello to your brand-new suit, Spider-Man.”

JJ excitedly began to pull the suit on, suddenly forgetting all about his theatrics with the cold. But Pope wasn’t done with his surprise.

“The suit is a total upgrade!” He began, his hands moving wildly as he spoke. “The fabric is strong but flexible. I have added small web-shooters to go over your spinneret glands so you can have a more direct shots. There are a few extra things I’ve added like a small heater to keep you warm and a few sensors, so we can keep track of your vitals. Oh, and for us—” He paused before handing John B a silver bracelet.

John B looked at the bracelet in confusion. “Uh, thanks?”

Pope only grinned and showed John B that he was wearing a similar bracelet. He slipped it off before unclipping a small oval shaped device from the middle of the bracelet. “This is the coolest part,” He nodded for John B to copy his movements. “To be honest, these took the longest. I had JJ’s suit done like two weeks ago but—”

“And you made me wait this long? Dude, I looked like a weirdo running around in joggers!” JJ groaned, but there was no real hostility in his voice.

“Just put on your mask, dude!”

JJ rolled his eyes but didn’t answer as he slipped the mask over his face. He was a bit surprised at how easily he could see through it, way better than the goggles he had before. The suit was a perfect fit—props to Pope after it took an hour to get all of JJ’s measurements. The material was tight and breathable, practically clinging onto JJ like a second skin. Oddly enough, he felt far more comfortable in it than his last costume. Pope clearly liked the colour scheme, having kept the red and blue palette but with a massive spider on his chest, with lines wrapping around him to look like a web. He looked totally badass, he felt badass. He felt like a proper hero from one of those comic books and posters Pope has around his room.

“So, how do I look?” JJ asked, flexing as he gave the boys a little spin. Pope only grinned, proud of his creation. John B gasped, clearly just as hyped as JJ was.

“Dude, your ass looks great.” John B commented, causing JJ to snort.

“When does it not look great?”

“Guys! The last surprise!” Pope piped up, causing both boys to stop staring at JJ’s ass and instead turn to him.

“These little guys,” He said, nodding between the small oval devices in his and John B’s hands. “Are gonna help us keep in contact with you while you’re swinging around. Little ear pieces so we can help you out and keep tabs on you if you need any help.”

“Where’s my bracelet?” JJ frowned beneath the mask.

“You don’t need one, dumbass. Your ear piece is connected into your mask!” Pope grinned proudly. JJ let out a scoff, shaking his head.

“Pope, you fucking genius!” He yelled, and he pulled his friend into a tight hug. John B, feeling a little left out, quickly joined the hug.

“This is so cool, dude, now we are like an actual team!” John B grinned.

Pope was the first to pull back, looking at JJ with a wild look in his eyes. “I think it’s time for Spider-Man to show the city his new look.”

JJ grinned under the mask, already beginning to take a few steps back. “I think you’re right.” And without a second thought, he left himself fall off the edge of the building.

On that October night, New York watched their own hero swing through the streets, letting the cheers and whoops of the strangers sink in. They watched their hero in a new light, a more professional one. The next day, he was no longer that kid running around like some wannabe. He was Spider-Man, the new saviour of New York and a beloved hero.

It was wild what a good new suit could do for your reputation.

**********

“Did you see the pictures The Daily Bugle released?”

“He looked so hot!”

“I’d let him save me any day!”

“You don’t even know what he looks like…”

“So? Have you seen those arms? Nothing else matters!”

JJ couldn’t help but let the smirk on his face grow as he walked through the corridors of the school. It was the day after his new suit reveal and he wasn’t going to lie, he was soaking in all the attention. He was particularly enjoying the twitter thread that was made about his ass. John B didn’t lie, his ass did look good in this new suit.

He continued his way through the sea of students before he made it to his chemistry class, not surprised that people were still talking about Spider-Man. His eyes instantly glanced over at Kiara, who was sitting at their workbench scrolling through her phone.

He grinned as he quickly past the other students and sat quite comfortably in his seat. His eyebrows raised slightly when she didn’t react at first to his appearance. His curiosity got the best of him as he leaned towards her, peeking over her shoulder to see what she was looking at. Now, JJ won’t lie to you, but when he saw her staring at pictures of Spider-Man, his ego definitely inflated a little. Okay, maybe more than a little but you get the point.

“You a fan?” He couldn’t help but ask, trying to keep his smirk to himself.

Kiara quickly snapped her head to look at him, slamming her phone down screen first onto the desk. “Can you mind your business?” She huffed, trying to calm her heartbeat a little. She didn’t even hear him come in, which is odd since usually you could hear JJ from a mile away.

“Aw, c’mon, Kiara! I thought we were besties now.” He grinned to her, wiggling his eyebrows a little. He leaned forward on the desk, bringing him a little closer to her. His forearms were pressed against the desk, his body leaning on them. She noticed how close their hands were. But after yesterday, she refused to left JJ get under her skin again. Or at least let him see how much he is bothering her. So, she stayed where she was, not moving back like he expected.

“You know my name.” It wasn’t a question, more a statement.

“Surprised?” He whispered, smirking a little when he noticed he wasn’t moving away. JJ risked it a little more and moved a bit closer.

“Took you long enough.” She replied with a shrug. JJ’s grin only widened.

“Oh yeah, counting down the days, princess?” He raised an eyebrow. He noticed her lips quirk a little, like she was fighting back a smile.

“You wish, pretty boy.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

“Shut up.”

“I think someone has a little crush, Kiara.” He grinned at her, only to witness her roll her eyes and push him away.

“In your dreams, Maybank.”

“Oh, you’re definitely in my dreams, Kiara.”

She rolled her eyes again but didn’t bother replying this time. She instead focused her gaze on the front of the class as Mr Marino entered the room, beginning the lesson. But if she had glanced over to the blond sitting on his right, she would’ve seen he was smiling throughout the whole lesson.

**********

“Thank you, dear!”

JJ nodded his head a little in acknowledgement and gave the older woman a small salute. “Always here to help, ma’am.” He said, handing her the small handbag that he had just rescued from the hands of some man who had tried to steal it from her.

“Aw, you’re really starting to win over the senior citizens.”

JJ rolled his eyes when he heard Pope’s voice through his earpiece. “Dude, I think she pinched my ass.”

“Lucky you, older woman, that’s hot.”

“JB, shut up.”

JJ snorted a little at the bickering, extending his arm out before he was swinging between the buildings with no trouble. He had been using any free time he had lately to be out in his suit, getting used to all the cool, extra bits that Pope had added. And he won’t lie, the boy really outdid himself. JJ felt like a total badass, being able to swing around and save people and feel like a real hero. He also enjoyed the change in attitude people had with him. He was Spider-Man, the city hero. He was appreciated. He was wanted. Not something JJ felt very often.

“Anything happening around town?” JJ asked, his eyes scanning the streets below, waiting to see any conflict. He couldn’t help but feel as though there was a part of him that was on edge. He couldn’t really explain it, it was like a bad shiver down his spine. It was a similar feeling he felt before that bank robbery fiasco a few weeks ago. It was a nasty wee feeling, one that had him on alert. Something was wrong, he didn’t know what. But he could sense it.

“Nah, everything seems to be fine. Maybe you should take a break, you’ve been swinging around for, like, three hours. You need to rest, dude.”

“What?” JJ muttered, so quiet that the boys on the other side barely heard him. That couldn’t be right, he can feel it. Something isn’t right, something bad is going to happen. “Guys, are you—”

He was cut off by a series of screams.

JJ’s body was reacting way before his brain did, like his hero side just leaped into action at the alert of any distress. He was swinging as fast as he could, his arms burning a little as he got closer and closer to the sound of those screams. He could hear his blood pumping in his ears, could feel his heart rate pick up. The adrenaline coursing through him, making him forget about the burning in his muscles from the three hours of patrolling he had done.

“That’s fucking weird, there is no police reports coming through.”

JJ ignored the voices coming through the earpiece, his whole body feeling rigid as he crouched on top of a building, looking at the carnage below. There, in the middle of the square stood what looked like a moving black cloud. Civilians were screaming and running away, but the black cloud just remained. His eyes narrowed slightly, like he was waiting for it to do something, to lash out. But it didn’t. He opened his mouth, ready to ask Pope if he was just imagining something when he heard the black cloud speak.

“Spider-Man, oh Spider-Man! Come out, come out wherever you are!” It spoke in a raspy, demonic voice. Whatever this way, it wasn’t human. JJ may have failed biology, but he knew that for sure.

“JJ, don’t. We are have no idea what this thing is. It could be a trap—”

“I got this, Pope.” JJ muttered, ignoring his friends’ pleas to think this through as he swung down, landing a couple of feet away from the black cloud. “You called?”

Suddenly, in the middle of the cloud, JJ swore he could see lips begin to materialise. He frowned beneath the mask but didn’t move away. His fist was clenched at the side, ready to react if the cloud tried anything.

“Ah, we finally meet, Spider-Man.” The cloud spoke again. The voice sent shivers down his spine. JJ pushed away that feeling of discomfort. Something about the cloud felt familiar, but he couldn’t tell what. It was like an annoying itch he couldn’t reach.

“Am I supposed to know who you are?” JJ questioned. “Look, dude, if you’re a fan, I appreciate it, but you don’t need to scare away a whole block of people to get my attention. You can just ask for an autograph like everyone else.”

“JJ stop provoking it!”

“You’ll know me soon enough.” The voice replied ambiguously. JJ furrowed his eyebrows together. Whatever this cloud was, it was being far too vague for JJ’s liking.

“PEOPLE OF NEW YORK, I SPEAK OUT TO YOU!”

JJ winced, clutching his ears. His body was on high-alert, his ears sensitive to pick out any small noise or rustle. He looked at the cloud and then at his surroundings, noticing how every screen—every phone, every billboard, every electrical compliance in this vicinity that he could see—was projecting the black cloud. It was broadcasting to the whole city. JJ couldn’t help but wonder where the fuck the hidden camera was. How was it doing this?

“YOU LABEL THIS KID AS YOUR HERO! YOU TRUST THIS CHILD WITH YOUR LIVES! YOU ARE FOOLISH!” The voice boomed, suddenly the black cloud began to form tentacles that were slithering from whatever was at the centre of it. “LET ME SHOW YOU THE TRUTH! LET ME SHOW YOU WHO YOU HAVE TO PROTECT YOU!”

JJ was a little too distracted by the concept of a cloud broadcasting to the city that he didn’t even notice one of the tentacles slithering towards him. It wrapped itself around his leg before swinging him into the nearest building.

JJ let out a small oomph as his body made contact with the brick wall. He could hear yelling in the distance, the sounds of people screaming. But nothing was overpowering the ringing in his ears as he slowly dragged himself to stand up.

“JJ, GET UP! JJ!”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” He muttered, blinking a few times before he turned back to look at the cloud. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise and quickly rolled over to the side, the tentacle that threw him smashing into the wall not even a second later. That rush of adrenaline hitting JJ again as he quickly swung out of there, not even looking behind him until he knew he was a good distance away to assess the situation.

“IS THIS WHO YOU WANT PROTECTING YOU? A COWARDLY TEENAGER? C’MON, SPIDER-MAN! LET’S SEE WHAT YOU’VE GOT!”

JJ swore under his breath, trying to catch up with his thoughts as he watched more tentacles appear from the cloud. “Where the fuck are they coming from?” He muttered before swinging down to a lower building rooftop, crouching at the edge. He narrowed his eyes as he extended his hand out, shooting a web towards the centre of the cloud. There had to be something solid within this thing, something he can grip on to, something he can fight. But he was met with nothing. “Fuck.” He frowned before he began to crawl down the side of the building.

“You seem a bit jealous, mate!” JJ called out, watching as all eight of the tentacles seemed to snap their attention towards him. God, that was scary. “Don’t you have to tell me some wild origin story before you kill me?”

“MY AIM ISN’T TO KILL YOU, SPIDER-MAN. NOT YET!”

“Oh, that’s really reassuring, thank you so much.”

“I WANT NEW YORK TO SEE HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE. HOW USELESS THEIR SAVIOUR IS.”

“A bit of an odd wish, if you ask me.” He murmured to himself, quickly snapping his wrist before swinging around the black cloud. He watched as the tentacles reached out for him, just grazing him as he swung between the buildings.

“JJ, FIGHT BACK!”

“How the fuck do I fight something that isn’t solid? Get a vacuum? If you have one big enough, please do share. Call the ghostbusters or something!”

He heard more screams, some closer than he expected. He assumed everyone ran off, but when he turned his head to the side, he noticed a man standing there, frozen in fear. More importantly, he saw a car heading straight towards the scared man.

“Shit, shit, shit,” JJ yelled as he quickly yanked his web, spinning around and landing in front of the man, his hands extended out in front of him. Seconds later he felt the impact of the car, the weight and momentum it came crashing in at hit him strong enough to make him slide back a few feet. “Go, dude!” He yelled at the man, who had finally come to his senses and thanked JJ profusely before sprinting away. JJ groaned and threw the car away from him, huffing slightly.

“HOLY SHIT, JJ! THAT WAS A CAR!”

“Oh, no shit, Sherlock! I thought it was Barbie’s Dreamhouse.” Only JJ would be sarcastic while his life is in threat.

But it was that sarcasm that distracted him long enough for one of the tentacles wrap around his ankle, yanking him down from the small jump he had taken so the web he was currently gripping snapped with ease, preventing him a quick escape like he planned. He didn’t even have time to scream before he noticed the tentacle bringing him closer to the middle of the cloud, his eyes widening slightly.

He wiggled around in the tentacle’s grip, trying to find a way out but it was relentless. He wasn’t sure what was real or not, not sure if he imagined screaming in his head or if he actually did as he was dropped into the centre of the cloud.

Then, he felt nothing.

JJ was vaguely aware of his surroundings. He didn’t know if his eyes were open or not, but it was dark. He tried to move his arm, but it felt constricted, like he was swimming in something really thick. His brain was screaming at him to call out for Pope and John B, to move his hands and swing out of here, to do something. But another part of JJ felt completely content in this situation. He couldn’t explain it, but something washed over him, like a massive electric shock that made him aware of just how…familiar this seemed. It was similar to the feeling he had earlier.

He felt safe, understood.

And then that feeling was gone.

Suddenly, JJ found himself being thrown around in circles, something holding a tight grip on his ankle. But soon enough, that let go too and JJ was soon flying through the air, too out of it to even react fast enough to web onto something or soften his eventual crash.

JJ felt the air be completely knocked out of him, his body bouncing off the concrete a couple of times before he rolled over. It took him a few attempts to finally open his eyes, take in his surroundings, to see he was in some dingy alleyway. He turned his head to the side, briefly seeing a black blob in the distance. He could hear some muffled yelling.

“HEED THIS AS A WARNING, SPIDER-MAN. NEXT TIME WE MEET, IT WILL BE OUR LAST!”

JJ vaguely furrowed his eyebrows together before turning his head to stare at the blue sky above instead. When the ringing and the muffling was over, he could hear the screams of his friends coming through the earpiece.

“JJ! JJ, PLEASE FUCKING ANSWER, DUDE!”

“JJ, ARE YOU DEAD?!”

“WHY WOULD HE FUCKING ANSWER IF HE WAS DEAD!”

“SHUT UP, I’M FLUSTERED!”

JJ frowned a little, his whole throat felt dry and numb. There was also a metallic taste in his mouth that told him he must’ve bitten his tongue at some point. God, he hated the taste of blood. “It…It felt…”

“OH MY GOD, JJ!”

“IT FELT LIKE WHAT BUD? YOU GOOD?”

“It felt just like me.” He finally got out.

Then everything went black.

[sandalwoodhusbands]

Hey, it's the request anon again :) I would love to read some fluffy elu, maybe them finally getting a cute dog and Eliott being incredibly happy about how much his life changed for the better since he met Lucas? And maybe a smut oneshot too? Like, Eliott wanting Lucas to take the lead, for him to be in control or something? Sorry in advance, I know this is a lot but I just love your writing so so much! (You don't have to do them of course) 🤍🤍🤍

hello there! first off, thank you so much for the requests! i had a lot of fun writing the first one, and in perfect timing for eliott’s birthday. i gave it a little spin that i hope you’ll like anyway.

i’ll come back to the sexy one in a couple of days, but in the meantime please enjoy <3

-

(also in ao3)

“I think Lucas is getting me a stripper for my birthday.”

The words make Idriss shoot his head up from his book so fast Eliott is concerned he might have pulled a muscle.

“You think Lucas is what?” Idriss asks in a high voice, eyes full of bewilderment. “What?!”

“I think,” Eliott repeats calmly “that Lucas is getting me a stripper for my birthday.”

Idriss blinks at him.

Eliott shrugs innocently from the couch, uncrossing and crossing his legs under him as Idriss gapes stupidly at him.

“What the fuck,” Idriss says at last “do you mean that Lucas, your best friend, is getting you a fucking stripper for your birthday?”

Eliott straightens his back, smiling at Idriss like he’s finally asking the questions he should be asking.

“I’m glad you asked that.” He says in glee, clasping his hands together. “Well, one, Lucas isn’t half as sneaky as he thinks he is.”

“That’s not even a valid argument.”

Eliott throws Idriss a disapproving glare. “That’s not the point, Idriss. Two,” he lists off with his fingers “he’s been asking really weird questions lately. Like the other day, he asked if my landlord cared about loud noises. And what’s that code for? A party.”

“Eliott, I don’t think-“

“And then,” Eliott interrupts. “Just last night he told me I should make some space in the living room for my surprise.” He makes air quotes, looking at Idriss expectantly.

Idriss only stares back.

“The fuck do you mean surprise?”

Eliott wets his lips. “A dancing pole, obviously.”

Idriss’ mouths falls open, and then-

“Your brain works in ways I will never understand, bro.”

Eliott smiles smugly, leaning back on the couch. With a lazy raise of his eyebrows, he nods at Idriss solemnly. “I’m gonna be right, you’ll see.”

Idriss hums non-committedly.

“Pity he’s not the ass you’re seeing naked though, right?”

Eliott throws the tv remote at his head.

“Shut the fuck up.”

***

It’s a week after his conversation with Idriss that he sees Lucas’ lit up face as he talks to the girl behind the counter, and knows he can’t keep it in anymore.

He tries. He really tries to keep it in, for everyone’s sake, mostly because he doesn’t actually ruin Lucas’ surprise. A little because they’re in public, and he knows Lucas might try to knock him out with a bowling ball if he embarrasses him.

In the end he blurts it out.

“Are you getting me a stripper for my birthday?” He asks, and immediately winces when he sees Lucas’ expression.

Lucas’ entire body falters, hands raised up below his knees where he was tying the laces of his shoes. He’s looking at Eliott half with surprise and half like he wants to kill him, and then he’s pressing his lips together, closing his eyes with exasperation.

Eliott gives him a sheepish smile, shrugging a little.

“Eliott Demaury, you’re a fucking idiot.” He says, but then he’s smiling a little, the corners of his lips curled up prettily.

Eliott takes one step closer to him. Lucas rolls his eyes, hugging his middle in the way he does when he’s laughing really hard, raising an eyebrow at Eliott.

“So is that a no?”

Lucas huffs, but the grin in his face betrays him.

“Yes, that’s a no, you moron. Why would you even think I would get you a stripper?” He asks, throwing his hands up. He talks with his whole body, with his mouth and the sway of his hips as he walks towards an empty lane. Eliott watches entranced his every move, and he must have been silent for too long, he thinks, because then Lucas stops walking. He turns to him with a dubious expression. “Wait, do you want one?”

And.

Well.

“I suppose not.” Eliott shrugs. Because he doesn’t, not really. Now that the thrill of figuring his best friend out has ran its course, he definitely doesn’t find the idea appealing. He’s almost happy he got it wrong this time. But as Lucas keeps studying him silently, eyes squinted as if he’s trying to read Eliott’s mind, Eliott only laughs, shaking his head. “No, I definitely don’t need to see naked people shaking their ass in my face.”

The red fluorescent lights shine on Lucas’ hair, coloring some of the strands in a pale bronze, and his eyes are bright. He’s beautiful, Eliott’s golden boy.

He smiles, watching the way Lucas’ wary expression turns into mirth.

“Ah, okay.” Lucas nods. “Guess I’ll return my sparkly gold thong then.”

And then he’s walking away.

Eliott jogs after him, unexpected laughter bubbling up his chest that lasts all the way to him.

They’re not the only ones here tonight, but they’re definitely the loudest, he thinks, when he catches up to Lucas, his hands tugging at him by the shoulders, and Lucas’ laugher is the only sound he hears.

“Wait,” Eliott says. There’s laughter in his voice, and he hasn’t said anything funny yet, but Lucas is laughing too. “Wait, wait. If it’s your ass we’re talking about…”

Lucas groans, batting Eliott’s hands away half-heartedly. “Oh my god, shut up.”

Eliott lets him go reluctantly. If this was a Tony Stampley song, he’d say something tacky and corny that Lucas would hate and make him punch Eliott in the shoulder, something like I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.

They’re not, but Lucas’ ass still looks good in those black jeans, so he settles for the best next thing.

“When are you gonna let me have a feel at your perky butt, Lallemant?” He calls out.

Lucas turns around then, tilting his head to the side.

There’s a sudden rush traveling up Eliott’s veins when he watches the unimpressed expression in Lucas’ face; exasperation, fondness and something bright that only Lucas’ eyes have, all mixed in one as he stares at Eliott. If Eliott could, he would have Lucas, and only Lucas stare at him like this until the day he dies.

Lucas opens his mouth, and before he can say anything, Eliott knows it’s gonna sting.

“When you grow the balls to ask me out properly, Demaury.” He says with bite.

Despite himself, Eliott laughs.

He walked himself right into that one.

***

So the thing is.

The thing is, and Eliott knows that Lucas absolutely hates when there is a ‘thing’, so he’s never told him with quite these words, but the thing is that he’s in love with Lucas, and he thinks Lucas might, at least, like him a little bit in return – or at least he’s pretty sure that’s what’s happening here.

One can only brush their hands together so many times until it starts meaning something.

So he’s in love with Lucas. Lucas, who is the best person that has ever happened to him, the only person he trusts with all there is to see him; the only person, asides from his parents, who’s seen him at his worst, and then at his fucking worst.

He’s in love with Lucas, because how the fuck could he not? And Lucas might be too, and the thing is that he’s scared shitless.

“So,” Lucas starts when they get in the car. “For our next non-date you might want to bring a pair of spare underwear.”

Eliott would’ve laughed any other day. He thinks that’s why Lucas does it, because they know each other, and he actually likes Lucas’ stupid out of context innuendos. Because they’re best friends, and that’s how much they know each other.

When you asks me out properly, Lucas had said. As if this was a transitory state, and he was expecting Eliott to take the next, logical step.

Because Lucas likes logic.

Lucas likes science, and he likes waiting until the ice-cream is melting to eat it. He likes blueberry juice and pineapple on pizza, but he picks it out of the slices and eats them at the end instead of ordering a dessert like any other normal person. His hair smells like coconut, and he still holds Eliott’s pinkie when they’re passing a dark street on the way home from the club.

Eliott knows all this because they’re best friends. But he also knows that Lucas gets goosebumps when Eliott lets his hands travel up his back, and how his eyes go crossed when they’re standing too close at a party, and Eliott has to tip his head down to whisper in his ear – and then it’s not platonic anymore, or at least it doesn’t feel like it is.

So Eliott? He’s confused as fuck.

So instead of answering, he lets his fears run wild.

“Doesn’t it scare you?” He asks, hands gripping the steering-wheel.

He doesn’t have to turn to look at Lucas to know he’s frowning.

“What does?”

Eliott heaves a sigh. “This,” He says, and then as a clarification, “Us.”

Lucas makes a sound at the back of his throat that sounds a lot like an objection.

“Is it because of the shit I said back inside? Because Eliott, you know I was kidding. I’m fine with taking this, whatever this entails, slow.”

Every bone in Eliott’s body lights up with frustration. Because that’s the problem, isn’t it? They’re taking it slow, and as long as Eliott doesn’t overthink it they’re fine. But then when he does think about it; when his brain whirls, and whirls, and whirls, and eventually halts to a stop, the momentum rips him away or pull him closer to Lucas.

“No, or.” Eliott curses under his breath, knots in his tongue that he doesn’t know how to undo. “I don’t know. We’ve been friends for years.”

Lucas huffs. “Yeah, and I’ve wanted to kiss you for as many years.”

Eliott shoots Lucas an amused glance. “Way to take it slow, Lu.” He watches from the corner as Lucas’ cheeks fill with pink warmth, and he cuts him off before Lucas can start apologizing. “Maybe you have, but the difference is that you actually haven’t.”

“I guess?”

Lucas sounds as confused as Eliott feels.

This is the closest they’ve gotten to discussing their new dynamic since it started. It fills the car with a weird tension that Eliott isn’t used to feeling around Lucas, and this. This is what he’s talking about.

Of things changing, maybe for the worse.

He risks looking at Lucas at a red light. His insides churn at the sight of him, of his blue eyes clouded over and the slight pout on his mouth, forrowed eyebrows that Eliott wants to smooth out with his thumb, or maybe his lips. He’s pressed all the way against the door, his hands fiddling with the threads at the rip on his knee, and he won’t look at Eliott.

The sight hurts him as much as it leaves him completely breathless.

“I’m just scared,” his eyes go back to the road, but he reaches with a tentative towards Lucas’ seat. “That we might throw everything – this friendship, us, away if we take the leap.”

After a moment, he feels a thumb pressing down on his open palm.

“It scares me too, but what’s the other option?” Lucas asks in a small voice. “Finding someone else? Because, at least for me, that would destroy me more than trying and realizing we don’t work as lovers.”

Fuck, the thought of Lucas being with someone else-

He closes his hand around Lucas’ thumb.

“So it’s scary,” Lucas starts, “but we could be scared together, don’t you think?”

Could they?

The answer is yes, he thinks. They could. They could do anything, Lucas and him. They were fifteen and seventeen, and their knees were scrapped and there was blood running down his knee, and Lucas had looked at the fence they had jumped before looking at Eliott, and he’d said, “you and I, we could conquer the world.”

So that’s not the question Lucas should be asking, maybe. Less of a ‘could we?’ and more of a ‘are you up for the ride?’.

So in the end, he settles for less than what Lucas deserves.

“Maybe.”

They spend the rest of the ride in silence. There’s a soft murmur coming from the radio, a station that only plays rock songs, because they’re Lucas’ favorite, and he’s never been his own priority when it comes to happiness, but Lucas has. So he listens, for Lucas, turning his grip on Lucas’ hand until their fingers are loosely intertwined, because he might not be ready to give him himself, but he’d give him the universe if he tried.

At the end, they part with a joke.

“So there’s really no strippers tomorrow?” Eliott asks, just to be annoying, and because he knows it’ll make Lucas smile.

It does.

Lucas huffs, but there’s a hidden smile in the corner of his mouth when he looks down to unfasten his seatbelt, and the last rays of sunlight reflect on his eyes when they dance over towards Eliott’s face.

“No Eliott, there’s no strippers.”

His hand leaves Eliott’s hold, so Eliott holds onto the hem of his shirt before he’s out of the car.

Lucas gives him a funny look, confused little smile in his face that makes the butterflies in Eliott’s stomach go into haywire.

“What’s up?”

“I just.” Eliott shrugs. Lucas eyes him suspiciously, and he laughs. “I hope I’ll still get to see someone naked anyway, that’s all.”

Lucas snorts. “I’m getting out of the car now, thank you.”

Eliott beams. “See you tomorrow, Lu.”

I’m sorry I’m such a coward, he doesn’t say.

Lucas might have understood anyway, because his eyes are the color of the summer sea, and his hand is warm on Eliott’s shoulder when he leans in to press a small kiss to his cheek before leaving the car.

“See you tomorrow.”

Eliott smells summer breeze and strawberry chapstick all the way home.

***

When Lucas goes over to Eliott’s apartment the next afternoon, Eliott lets himself get pulled by his t-shirt towards the door.

“We’re late, c’mon you ass!” Lucas says loudly. “Up, up, up!”

Eliott trails right behind him. There’s still a hand gripping the front of his t-shirt, so he curls his fingers around the wrist and keeps it there, smiling at the back of Lucas’ head as Lucas goes on and on about how ungrateful he is, and I can’t believe I got here and you were in your fucking pajamas, Eliott, everyone is waiting at the park already!

That makes Eliott pause.

“Wait. We’re not throwing the party here?”

Lucas looks over his shoulder, an expression on his face so familiar that Eliott instantly knows he’s mentally plotting all the ways he can smack him against a pole and make it look an accident. He’s in love with a psychopath gremlin.

Speaking of poles though-

“No?” Lucas asks, effectively cutting Eliott’s thoughts off. “Do you honestly think we can fit all of our friends here?”

Lucas has a point. In his defense, out of all the holes Idriss meticulously blew in his plot, he never mentioned a space problem. So he’s not the only idiot here.

Maybe Lucas is just smarter than everyone else.

“I just thought – nevermind.” He shakes his head, putting his shoes on at the entrance before standing up. Taking Lucas’ hand in his, he smiles when Lucas squeezes them. “Lead the way.”

Lucas stops him. “Hey,” he says, turning his body towards Eliott, and with his free hand he wraps it around Eliott’s neck. “Happy birthday, Eli.”

Eliott sneaks his arm around Lucas’ middle, pulling him closer. “Thank you.” He says into Lucas’ hair. “You’re the best.”

He feels warm lips on his neck, a tug at their joined hands, and his heart swells with love.

When they get to the park Idriss takes a good look at their joint hands, and then he’s walking away, hands on his stomach as he wheezes all the way towards the snacks table. Eliott fucking hates him.

“So you really had Lucas all figured out, huh?” Idriss asks a while later.

The sun is setting already, and they’re two of the few people that are still around besides Emma, Yann and Imane. Eliott looks around, searching for Lucas’ frame, smiling when he finds him folding plastic tables.

For a fleeting moment Lucas looks back and waves, beaming happily.

Eliott beams back.

“I swear I’m usually better at reading him than this.” He says.

“Hmm.”

They leave not long after. Packing everything up in the backseat of Yann’s old van, they leave the park as they found it.

Eliott insists on lingering for a little while longers, arms full of hugs and mouth full of gratefulness, because sometimes he still can’t believe he drew the long straw in life. He doesn’t really get it, he’s certainly done enough things to elicit exactly the opposite of love, but when he finds Lucas  looming by a near tree, a small proud smile on his face – as if he’s proud that Eliott was born 22 years ago.                    

It’s something that Eliott doesn’t get, but as he smiles back at Lucas over Imane’s shoulder, he thinks he doesn’t need to.

On the way back home, Eliott drags Lucas to the nearest McDonald’s, and Lucas laughs like he knows something that Eliott doesn’t. He gets large fries and a milkshake, because although Lucas is a little shit that is still smiling at him teasingly, he knows it’s Lucas’ favorite.

Lucas’ breath smells like chocolate when he leans in to drop a thankful kiss to Eliott’s cheek, and Eliott thinks that he’ll take all the teasing in the world if it’ll always earn him whipped cream lips-shaped pints.

“Okay.” Lucas walks backwards towards Eliott’s apartment door. “Close your eyes now.”

Eliott watches, a lot confused and a lot amused as Lucas hits the door with his back. He places the empty cup on the stair railing, that Lucas had so charismatically put in his hand when he’d finished it, before fishing his keys out of his back pocket.

He jiggles them in Lucas’ direction. “Maybe you might need this if you wanna get in?”

“Oops,” Lucas grimaces. In one swift movement he steals them from Eliott’s hold, and then he’s back at the door. “Okay, now close your eyes.”

“Why?”

Lucas looks at him like he’s an idiot. “Because your surprise is in there.”

“Really?” He says, and he takes one a step closer to Lucas.

He tries to suppress his laughter at the look of utter confusion in Lucas’ face as he pulls on the loops of his jeans, making Lucas stumble slightly towards him.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m just checking that you’re not wearing that gold underwear.” Eliott says teasingly, pulling harder at the loops and making Lucas yelp. “I’m still not entirely convinced tonight won’t end up in some stripping.”

Lucas honks out a startled laughter, loud and obnoxious in a way it should be unattractive, but it only makes Eliott’s inside melt.

“Fuck, you’re annoying.” Lucas groans, pushing him away. He takes Eliott’s hands and puts them over Eliott’s eyes. “Now behave, and close your eyes. Don’t peek.”

“I won’t.”

He stays true to his words. He doesn’t peek when he hears the keys jiggle, or when Lucas unlocks the door. His heart thrums with excitement, but he doesn’t peak when he hears footsteps walking away from him. He does bounce on the heel of his shoes, smile threatening to split his face in half as he waits for Lucas to give him the green light.

“Okay, you can open your eyes now.” He hears from inside the apartment.

Eliott does.

His hands fall limply at his sides. There’s a gasp trapped inside his chest, dampness in his eyes when his gaze falls on the fluffly little thing nestled in Lucas’ arms.

“Oh my god.” He says. He stays pinned in place, his knees trembling under him, but still, he finds enough strength to take two long strides inside the apartment before closing the door. “You did not, oh my god Lu.”

Lucas smiles softly at him, before looking back down at his arms. “I did. Come say hi.”

Eliott walks closer towards him, until he’s fitting his hands over Lucas’ hold.

“Oh fuck.” He whimpers. With one careful hand he brushes down the puppy’s back, eyes springing with a new wave of tears when he feels the soft puffs of black hair between his fingers. “Oh my god, hello little thing.”

He watches, completely captivated, the rise and fall of its little chest. He brushes his fingers between the ears, slowly, and the puppy lifts its head up, blinking up at him.

“You’re so fucking cute. How are you so cute?” Eliott whispers “He’s just like-“

“Yeah.” Lucas interrupts him. “I remember when you told me that, you know? One of the first nights I stayed over at your house. You thought I was gonna run the other way when you told me about your bipolar, I could see it in your eyes.” He confesses. He joins Eliott on the floor, sitting in front of him, brushing his hand up and down the dog’s fur. “And then you told me about the one that got away. I was really sad for you that night.”

“Lucas…“

“So I promised myself that, when the time came, and I could afford adult things like food, I’d do this for you. I read that dogs are really good company, too, you know?”

Something inside Eliott shifts.

“Lucas.” He says with urgency. His heart beats hard against his ribcage, mouth dry, and he thinks that if he had to Lucas and go, he’d be fine with it. “Lucas, I really wanna be scared with you, I think.”

Because he gets it now. It never was a matter of who would ruin it between them first. It was about happiness, and when it comes to that, Eliott knows Lucas has been the object to his happy dreams since the day they met. And if he can make Lucas as happy as Lucas makes him, he’d give everything and anything to keep it that way. For as long as he can, until he can’t anymore.

Lucas looks at him hesitantly, eyes fitting between Eliott and the distance between them.

“You think?”

“No.” Eliott shakes his head. His knees bump against Lucas’ thighs when he crawls towards him, and Lucas’ face is hot under his palms when he cups his cheeks. “I know.”

Lucas breathes, chin tilted up. “Yeah, okay.” He whispers, hands gripping the back of Eliott’s shirt.

The world ceases to nothing when their lips touch. The sky might have fallen and the oceans turned blood, and Eliott wouldn’t know anything past the brush of his mouth against Lucas’. At first it’s tentative, lips against lips touching softly, Lucas’ hands spread open on the small of Eliott’s back.

His heartbeat stops then, just to beat with more intent when Lucas’ tongue swipes down on his lower lip. He parts his lips, letting Lucas’ tongue play with his inside his mouth. Their lips slide together, Lucas rolling Eliott’s bottom lip between his teeth in a way that makes Eliott’s toes curl.

Eliott sighs inside Lucas’ mouth, drawing circles on his cheeks with his thumbs. He feels Lucas melting against his body, and he smiles involuntarily. Lucas’ own mouth starts curling up in a smile, and then they’re just clinking their teeth together that, despite everything, still counts as the best kiss Eliott’s ever had.

“Wow.” Lucas whispers when they pull away to catch their breath.

“Yeah.” Eliott agrees. Foreheads pressed together, he brushes the back of his hand down Lucas’ cheek, and Lucas nuzzles into his touch. “Wow.”

There’s no words that can describe the lines the butterflies are drawing inside his belly. His body feels like cotton, putty under Lucas’ stare, and there’s so much happiness inside of him that he wouldn’t be surprised if it started slipping from under his fingertips.

To make sure it doesn’t go to waste, he presses the pads of his fingers into Lucas’ skin, and he only sighs, stealing another kiss from the corner of Lucas’ mouth.

Lucas kisses back, once, twice, running his hands up Eliott’s back and tangling his fingers in his hair, pressing kisses to Eliott’s face.

“I am very happy with this upgrade.” Lucas whispers between kisses. “Very fucking happy.”

Eliott laughs deliriously. “Fuck, me too.” He agrees, nipping at Lucas’ bottom lip. “Me too.”

He’s deepening the kiss when he feels something nudging his leg.

Pulling back, he finds his little black furball bumping its head against his knee impatiently. Lucas laughs at the noise of distress coming from Eliott, but his chuckles die down when Eliott picks the puppy up carefully, kissing its pink nose as an apology.

“You just wanted kisses, didn’t you?” Eliott asks in a baby voice, nuzzling their noises together. “Yes you did. Hello, you’re very cute.”

Lucas suddenly groans, falling back on the floor. “Fuck, I didn’t realize how adorable this would be.” He whines, throwing his arm across his face. “I’m not gonna survive.”

Eliott takes his gaze away from the squirmy puppy in his arms to flash Lucas a happy smile.

“This is the best birthday present ever.” He nudges Lucas’ foot with his own. “Thank you.”

He doesn’t notice Lucas inching closer to him, too busy running his hand down the puppy’s nose. His hand covers its face, making the puppy chase his fingers with a jerk of its head, wiggling its tongue excitedly when Eliott moves his hand closer.

There’s an arm wrapping around his back, and Eliott blinks, head turning to the side to find Lucas curling against him.

“What are you gonna call him?” Lucas asks. His eyes are soft, soft, soft, and he’s cupping the dog’s head with his hand as he smiles up at Eliott.

Eliott takes a good look at him. He’s small, black all around, and when Eliott stops his motions down his back the puppy blinks up at him with confused little sea eyes. His heart fills with love.

“Lucas.”

Lucas squeaks. “No fucking way you’re naming your dog after me, mister.”

Eliott grins, scratching between the puppy’s ears. “No?”

“God, no.” Lucas huffs, shaking his head decidedly. “Imagine when we have s-“ he stops himself, face flushed red when he stammers out a rushed “I mean-”, and Eliott laughs loudly.

He laughs loudly as Lucas hides his red cheeks in the crook of his shoulder, keeps laughing when he feels a weak punch on his shoulder, and when Lucas complains in a whine to please just stop laughing, oh my god.

“You’re really eager, aren’t you?” Eliott asks teasingly, moving his hand to cup the back of Lucas’ neck. He plays with the short hairs he finds there, smiling to himself when he feels Lucas’ smile pressed to his skin.

“Oh, fuck off.”

“No, but I agree. I wouldn’t want this little guy to scratch the door down whenever I scream your name.” He says, and Lucas breath hitches. He decides not to comment on it. “What about Blue?”

Lucas unburies his face from Eliott’s neck. “Blue?”

“Yeah, look at his eyes. They remind me of yours.” He says, bringing the puppy closer to their faces.

In cue, the puppy stares at them with deep blue eyes. And then he yips.

“So Blue then?” Lucas asks with a grin. Happiness looks good on him, so overwhelmingly good that when he turns to check on Eliott, Eliott can’t help but a sneak a kiss to his jaw before nodding. Lucas cups his hand, where it’s holding the puppy’s head, and curls his fingers around it. “Welcome to the family, baby.”

There’s a second where they’re both quiet, and then Eliott breaks the silence.

“Does that mean I can call you daddy now?”

Lucas takes Blue from Eliott, sneering. “Fucking shut up, or I swear to God I’m taking this dog with me and you’ll never again hear from either of us.”

Some things never change, Eliott thinks, and the thought brings him peace.

Lucas has light in his eyes when they look at each other, and his nose scrunches up the closer Eliott gets.

“I’m sure I could persuade you.” He says, wiggling his fingers in Lucas’ face.

“Eliott- no.” Lucas warns. His warning falls on deaf ears, because one second later Eliott’s fingers are dancing all around his body, tickling under his chin and digging into his sides. “No, no, stop!” Lucas shrieks between bursts of laugher. Blue yips happily at his side, licking sloppy stripes on Lucas’ cheek that only make him laugh harder. “Blue, help me!”

“Go Blue! Knock him out!” Eliott cheers, and their happiness echoes through the four walls of his living room. “Good boy!”

Blue’s tail wiggles against the wooden floor loudly, as loud as Lucas’ shrieks of laughter, and when Eliott looks down, he knows. This is his family now.

Lucas had asked him just yesterday, if they could be scared together. As he looks down at the boy squirming under his hands, laughing so freely, it’s hard to remember what he was supposed to be scared of in the first place.

***

He wakes up to something tickling his forehead.

“You can’t sleep on my face, okay baby?” Cracking one eye open, he finds himself face first with a mop of messy brown hair. A naked neck followed by a naked shower, Lucas’ warm skin under his arm where it’s curled around his waist, and a wiggling tail between their heads. “I know it’s scary to be all the way down there on your own, which is why I let you up here last night, but no sleeping on my face, okay?”

Blue only yips happily, and Eliott tries to snort. What comes out is more of a snuffle that he presses against Lucas’ back. Lucas tucks Blue under his chin before grabbing Eliott’s arm, bringing it up to eye level, and drops a kiss to the back of his hand.

“Go back to sleep, my love.” He says.

And Eliott smiles.

He sleeps.

[miss-choco-chips]

Home

Four times Tim just wanted to go home, and one time he’s actually there.

(  @animemangasoul I think you’ll like this one)

(I was listening to Home by Machine Gun Kelly X Ambassadors & Bebe Rexha while I wrote this. Might have cried a little. I regret nothing)

----.----

His mom is holding his hand, a rare occurrence. Were he in a more… stable state, he’d squeeze the moment for all it’s worth.

But the coldness of fear had his heart in a ice-like grip, and the scenery around them did little to appease him. Nothing, not even the warmth of being held, could keep him from shaking.

-I want to go home -he whispers in his mother’s ear when she picks him up in her arms. Safe against her body, he thinks he can feel his heart melting a bit around the edges where panic had frozen him over.

Mom tightened her hold, eyes leaving the crying kid and his dead parents for the first time in a long time. He feels how one of her hands drops its place under his leg to pat his back, more comforting than he ever thought she capable of.

-Yes, we are leaving now. Jack? Bring the car over, we’ll wait here.

She doesn’t lower him until they are back at the manor. Then, his parents retire to their rooms, both to rest and prepare for their trip to the Bahamas the following morning. 

Tim shivers all night long, yearning for the warmth he was too distracted to appreciate a few hours ago, back at the circus.

This wasn't what he meant, when he asked to go home. He just wanted to feel safe.

----.----

This… wasn’t what he expected. To being caught, that is. Specially by his hero.

Jason (Robin, call him Robin, don’t you dare slip up, he can’t know you know!) is looking down at him, hands on his hips. He’s doing his best to look stern, but the short shorts, pixie boots and unconscious thug at his back ruin the effect of his glare.

Tim, camera held tightly as it’s been for the last couple of minute since the man came out of the shadows to try and steal it from him, distractedly thinks Batman should get on that, teach Robin his famous loom. He’s feeling starstruck, more than fearful.

-It’s too late for a squirt like you to be out. Streets are dangerous, no’ne told you? Specially ‘is parts o’the city -the young vigilante drawled, accent thicker than Tim recalled from back at the gala when their parents introduced them in passing. Not that Jason would remember.

-I… I’m not a squirt, I’m ten -he finally blurts out, wishing he could smack himself the second the words leave his mouth.

-Children should be on bed at this time.

He does his best to calm his erratic heart, and canalizes all the sass on his pint sized body to arch an eyebrow- Hypocrite much?

Robin growls, but Tim can tell he’s doing his best to hide a smile.

-I can leave you here, you know.

He knows Jason is bluffing, looking for a reaction, but the mere idea still makes his barely calming heart kick into overdrive again. The scare of a few minutes ago was too fresh on his mind. He already knows he won’t be going out again soon, not until he could plan a new route to photograph his idols while traveling only by rooftop, to best avoid the scum of the city.

-No, wait… please -he moves forward, hand taking a handful of cape, as if that could stop the vigilante if he actually was planning to leave.

Jason took the chance to wrap him on it like a little blanket, picking him up in his arms like a baby.

-Don’t worry, shortstack. I’m taking you home so I can be sure y’er actually following your bedtime.

Feeling a little braver in his hero’s arms, he fired back- Don’t have any.

-Whatever, you lil liar.

-It’s true. You can ask my parents… that’s it, if you’re willing to go into my house for a chat. Masks are in bad taste though, you’ll have to take yours off.

Truthfully, both his parents are away on business. Not that he needed to know about the bluff.

This time, he didn’t bother to hide his amusement, letting his barking laughter come out.

-You little shit. I’m not giving you my secret that easy.

Tim just shrugs, painting his most innocent smile. It’s difficult to keep it in place when Jason asks for directions, and then drops him at his bedroom’s window.

The giddiness of meeting his hero can’t quench his disappointment when he watches Jason’s back as he leaves. 

A little, childish part of himself had believed, hoped (with all the innocence his heart had left), that when Jason said ‘take you home’, he was talking about his own. 

----.----

He’s training as hard as possible. His body, shaped by the multiple teachers he hired through the years, hurts in a way he never thought possible, and has been like that ever since he first went to the training mats to face Bruce.

He knows the pain is necessary, what he learns there could be the difference between life or death (his eyes never fail to go to Jason’s suit, his altar, where he, as his whorshipper, would always go ask for strength and courage), but it's hard to remember his purpose for being there when he goes to bed each night with aching limbs.

Still, he endures.

This last week has been both harder than any other, and the best he’s ever had. The first, because a full on out gang war had forced him, Dick and Bruce to work overtime, going out every night for twice their usual hours (thank god for spring break). The second, because to save time and strength, he’d been allowed to stay the night at the manor with them.

He can’t believe how nice it is to have breakfast with someone. Sure, they have it at like three pm, but still. The pained body was so, so worth this.

When they caught their last perps, all tied up and pretty for the GCPD, Tim was simultaneously absolutely beat and the happiest he’s been.

Batman puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes, saying ‘let’s go home, Robin’, and he thinks for a moment he’s dreaming again.

He actually sleeps a bit, on the Batmobile trip. Beyond tired, feels his body being raised and then lowered again in a soft surface, something warm over his chest, and then lights out again.

When he wakes up the next morning, he’s at Drake Manor. The breakfast table is empty, the hallways colder than he remembered, and he wishes last night had actually been a dream. It would hurt less, if it had been all in his imagination; instead, he has to live with the knowledge of being so close, yet so far.

Not for the first time, he wishes ‘home’ were a different place.

----.----

He sighs, dropping his suitcase uncaringly. Anything important is on his phone anyway, who gives a fuck. Certainly not an overworked seventeen year old kid who’s just getting back after a long day. 

The place was clean, spacious and with a modern decoration style he kinda likes. The mechanic fishes certainly give it a nice touch, and the underground nerd cave he built for himself is the cherry on top- bottom, whatever.

It’s a nice house. A place he made for himself, to come back to. With scanners that automatically alert him if some sneaky ninja plants a bug, or a snoopy family member was sniffing around for his toys. He knows everything that happens here, in this little kingdom he built from scratch.

Of course, there are some itty bitty problems with it. Not the layout itself, that one was a dream came true, and no security issue either: all of Ra’s thwarted attempts at having his people breaking in confirmed how tight it was.

But, for some reason, the thermostat didn’t seem to work. It was always way too cold. 

The soundproof walls were good at keeping his secrets under wraps, but they also made it seem so unnaturally quiet, it gave him the creeps.

No table in sight. Not that he needed one, he shrugs. Lunch he eats outside, at the office. Dinner is a quick thing, a sandwich while he gets ready for patrol or some other snack while he types away at his computer. Breakfast… he doesn’t know why, but he never feels right when eating it, so he skips it more often than not.

Sighing again, he falls face first into his absurdly pricey couch. Blindly patting the coffee table until he finds the blanket he always keeps there, he thinks about taking a lil nap. He didn’t sleep last night (or the one before that), so it feels like he’s earned this break.

Decision made, Tim takes his phone out of the secret pocket in his coat and selects the app that makes background noise. He always sleeps better with it.

Yeah. This is a nice, comfortable place.

Too bad it’s not home.

-I just want to go home -he whispers to himself before letting unconsciousness claim him. 

If asked, he’d said the break in his voice was a yawn and not a sob.

----.----

When he wakes up, it’s to noise all around him. That alone puts him on guard so fast he would have pulled a muscle, if he were anyone else. As a Bat-trained vigilante though, he just tensed before opening his eyes to analyze his surroundings.

This… wasn’t his place, where he distinctly remembers falling asleep, face down on his couch. 

This was Titans Tower. Was he losing track of time? Had he been on a fight and got hit on the head? 

-Hey, you’re awake -Kon’s head poked out of the kitchen area, smiling as he floated all the way to where Tim was lying, on the living room’s couch.

The sight of his friend was enough to loosen his muscles. Still unsure but immediately comfortable he sat up straight and looked around. He could hear Bart and Cassie bickering on the background, probably the kitchen, Greta’s laughter coming to him from the same place, and those were Anita’s shoes and Cissie’s backpack near the elevator.

The first two and Kon, he could get. They were all Titans. But the three girls? They were retired, so what…

-Hey, boy wonder, let your brain take a break. I can hear you thinking from here and it’s giving me a headache -the super joked, landing by Tim’s side and poking his forehead lightly.

-That’s because you never think, you aren’t used to it -he fires back automatically. Then, a slow blink-  What are the girls doing here? What am I doing here? Last thing I remember I was… at the Perch. Sleeping.

-Yeah, and what a deep sleep that was. Been pulling all nighters, haven’t you? -his best friend shook his head, beyond giving Tim a disappointed look. They knew each other way too much to be surprised by their respective bad habits- you didn’t even flinch when I wrapped you up in TTK and flew you here. And about the girls, I told Cassie and Bart I was gonna pick you up, and they decided to make a thing out of this and went to bring them here, just to hang out. Like back in the days, you know?

The mention of their Young Justice times never failed to give Tim a heartache, but this time it just made him feel warm. 

He tried to look stern, but the smile he could feel growing on his lips against his will probably ruined it.

-But why did you? Bring me here, I mean.

Kon tilted his head, visibly confused.

-What do you mean? I heard you. You said you wanted to go home.

Something deep and frozen inside him abruptly melted, like it was hit by a flamethrower. The intensity brought tears to his eyes, body shaking uncontrollably as he bent over himself, hands clutching the opposite arm tightly, as if trying to hold himself in one piece.

Kon’s arms were around him in an instant, worried shouts piercing his ears as he plastered the smaller vigilante to his chest, unthinkingly helping him keep his broken pieces together. The warmth from his best friend’s body served as a welder, and Tim could finally breathe without the fear of breaking apart.

-Tim? Fuck, what’s wrong? Are you okay?! Here, dude, I got you.

-Kon? What is i- fuck, what did you do? Hey, Tim!

-Rob? Oh my god he’s crying, why is he crying!

The voices came closer, surrounding him from all directions as multiple hands touched him in an attempt to comfort.

It was too much, too warm, too bright.

He hoped it’d never end.

-I just…

Everyone stopped talking. His voice was broken by sobs, but he sounded happier than they had ever heard him.

-I’m just happy I’m finally home.

[1-1snailxd-art]

Sanders Sides oneshot fic - Magic Beans

Type: Magic au (kinda...like my own magic universe)

Characters: Logan Sanders, Remy/Sleep, Virgil (Patton and Roman are mentioned)

Relationships: I’m tagging losleep put it’s mostly platonic cause they’re roommates (oh my god they were roommates) and analogical because that’s the bit, implied royality.

Warnings: Remy swears...he said b**ch.

Words: 2032

Summary: Remy steps in when his sleep deprived roommate wants to quit magic school before even attempting to learn magic. A visit to his favourite coffee shop seems like the best way to snap Logan out of the funk he’s in.

Authors note: Look, I was sad, I watched @blinksinbewilderment stream on instagram and they mentioned a losleep/analogical magic coffee shop au (no angst) and I tried something. 

General Taglist (let me know if you want on or off): @thequeensphinx @ollyollyoxinfree @celeste-tyrrell @pumpkinminette

Bonus: @aowrot did some art of Remy (click to see). I approve of his style and floating hat. Honoured to have fanart done for this little tale. 

———————————————

“Girl, you know there is a bed right there for a reason.”

Logan sat up stiffly when the sound of Remy’s voice filled his tired ears, along with the crinkling of paper as he moved.

“I am…aware.” He said, squinting up at the man highlighted by his desk lamp. “I did not intend to sleep here.”

“Well, you did, and if that schedule is correct, you have class in an hour.”

Normally that comment would have caused Logan to bolt upright, but instead he slammed his head against the desk and groaned in frustration. If Remy’s statement on time was correct, he’d probably managed a maximum of 2 hours of uncomfortable sleep and was nowhere near ready to give his presentation on wand construction.

“You learning through osmosis now?”

“If it were possible, I would.” Logan mumbled into the paper before sitting up to rub his forehead. “I shouldn’t even bother. This whole thing is pointless. I’m not going to get into the magic course anyway, so I might as well give up and go to sleep.”

“Right, bitch, we’re out!”

Logan gasped and fumbled over his words as Remy suddenly pulled his chair back and pulled him up by his arm.

“Wha-where are we going?”

“We need a magic elixir to find my annoying, magic obsessed, roommate because that ain’t you right now.”

“That is ridiculous.” Logan huffed, unable to pull out of their friends firm grip. “Even if some personality changing elixir did exist, you wouldn’t be able to afford it.”

“True, but you don’t gotta bring it up.”

Remy was kind enough to at least grab Logan’s satchel as they left their tiny dwelling and headed into the town centre; leading the conversation so Logan could walk in reasonable silence. When the pair had first moved in together, they had hardly interacted beyond cleaning and rent day. Remy was either working or out at someone’s party until the early hours, while Logan filled his daily schedule with work, class and study. At one point, Remy questioned if the man ever slept or understood the meaning of free time. However, over the past month, Remy noticed a shift in Logan’s behaviour that he couldn’t ignore. Dishes were left piled into the sink more often, curse words penetrated the thin walls at all hours and he found an empty jam jar left on the count with a spoon in it. The jam was the final straw for Remy because it was too weird to be considered normal for his formally perfect roommate.

 “May I ask where exactly we are going?”

The further they walked into the busy centre, the more Logan wanted to return to his room and forget the real world existed.

“I told you. To get an elixir.”

“That was a joke, so what is the truth.”

A sideways glance with a raised eyebrow was the only response Logan received as Remy took his hand and quicken their pace down the street. Rounding the corner Logan groaned as he saw the painted sign for ‘The Magic Beans’ and understood what his black jacket clad mate had meant by elixir.

“Coffee? Seriously?”

“Serious as a heart attack, babes.” Remy said, holding the door open for Logan to walk inside. “Trust me, this will perk you right up.”

“You’ve been partying with Patton again haven’t you?”

“I will not apologise for appreciating Roman’s poppin’ parties with that puffball dancing around. That kid has more energy than 100 shots of espresso.”

Shuffling awkwardly around the couch in the stores centre, Logan watched as empty cups levitated their way into the kitchen and laughter echoed from full tables and booths. Jealousy gripped his gut as he watched how effortless some of the workers made magic seem. Clearly, they had been blessed with strong magic in their families, unlike him. Remy may have been perfectly content with a magic-less existence, but Logan wasn’t. He wanted nothing more than to point his finger at a book to guide it to him, or even just be able to use a wand. Anything that would make him more than what he was.

“This way bookworm,” Remy guided Logan to a secluded booth in the far corner of the store and ushered him into the seat. “Let me introduce you to my magic elixir of life.”

“I don’t understand the allure of a beverage brewed from bitter tasting beans.”

“You’ll understand soon enough,” Remy beamed, hiding his face behind a menu.

“Doubtful. I’ve tasted coffee before and it was far from an enjoyable experience.”

“Haven’t tried magic beans then, have you?”

Suddenly Logan understood why Remy was hiding his face, because he was sure he was trying to compose himself right now. The voice belonged to a man that made Logan’s brain come to a sudden halt; eyes lined black, purple highlights peeked through black hair, and glossed lips were pulled into a half smile that Logan couldn’t take his eyes off.

“He hasn’t.” Remy cooed, lowering the menu and leaning back now he could maintain a cool expression. “Logan is a hard one to coax away from study hall and your parents don’t allow take away.”

The worker chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, giving Logan a peek of his hip as the black uniform lifted behind his apron.

“Yeah, they are very protective of our recipes. Better safe than sorry though. You just want the usual, Rem?”

“Cheers, babes. You know how I like it.”

“Sure thing. And what can I get - ah, Logan, was it?”

Worry danced across the server’s eyes when he was met with only a stare in response. Upon releasing he had been asked a question, Logan cleared his throat and forced his mind to function enough to grab a menu without showing just how shaky his hands were.

“Ah-um-yes. Logan is, well, me.” Cheeks burning, Logan cursed his sleep deprived brain for being unable to form coherent sentences and tried to read the jumble of letters in front of him. “I’ll have a…um…”

With a sigh of defeat, Logan dropped the menu on the table and hopped he didn’t look too ridiculous smiling up at the other man.

“I don’t know what to have. I’m sorry. This isn’t really my…”

“Cup of tea?” He offered, seeming to immediately regret the comment as Logan blinked back.

“…ironically, I’m not a tea fan either, um…my apologies, I didn’t catch your name.”

“Oh, sorry. Virgil.” Quickly scrapping his hand down his pants to dry it, Logan shook the hand Virgil had extended. “So, you’re a real newbie to this scene then. How have you survived studying?”

“He isn’t surviving, which is why I’ve brought him here.” Remy offered before he had to watch another awkward pause.

“Right.” Virgil let out an awkward chuckle and ran a hand through his fringe as he thought out loud. “So, coffee noob, not a tea fan, study-aholic. Do you prefer sweet or savoury flavours?”

“Oh, Logan is very salty.” Logan’s head snapped round and glared at his friend opposite him. “Girl, that look only cements my point. What do you recommend, Virge?”

“I think I’ve got an idea. I’ll be back.”

“Take your time,” Logan called after him as he watched Virgil walk back towards the counter.

 “You’re so gay-ow!”

Logan kicked Remy under the table and spoke in a hushed tone.

“What the heck was that?”

“You’re smitten, kitten, that’s what.” Remy said, rubbing his shin under the table. “Thank Mama Remy when you get his number.”

“Falsehood. I’m going to kill Mama Remy while he sleeps.”

“Good luck with that, you’ll be too preoccupied to even think about me. So, what’s the most powerful wand core?”

“Phoenix feather strands with northern tree sap.” Logan replied without thought; resting his elbow on the table so he could comfortably massage his left temple. “What exactly is your plan here?”

“To find the nerd that wants to put magic into the Sanders name despite what his parents say. Should I buy a wand or make my own?”

“I seriously doubt I will ever be able to learn magic at this rate… and if you’re born with magic, and the wand is just for show, buy it; but you’ll need to make it if you’re not.”

“I think you’re gonna blow them away when you pass this course and get to make a wand. I can see you now;” pushing his glasses up onto his head, Remy gestured an invisible wand out to the side. “Wielding a wand crafted from a fallen elm.”

“Based on previous encounters, I’d say that is more likely Roman’s style. Given my birth is in the later part of the year, and my reduced sight, oak would be a much better fit.” Yawning, Logan fiddled with the corner of the menu until he froze at Remy’s laugh. “What?”

“Girl, you are going to ace that test.”

“Falsehood.” He said with more force than earlier. “With an infinitesimal amount of sleep and limited knowledge, it will be impossible for me to achieve a passing grade.”

Leaning onto folded arms, Remy locked eyes with his friend and smiled. “You just answered 3 key wand questions without batting an eye. I think you’ll be fine.”

Logan raised a pointed finger to rebut the statement, before realising what Remy had done.

“You are one bad elixir away from an evil genius.”

“I was born without magic because I would have been too much for this world to handle.”

“I will concede to you this time, but even if I do go to school, I will still need to stay awake for the test and practical examination. I don’t think I can function for another 3hours.”

“I’ve got you covered,” Virgil beamed, placing a tall dark mug in front of Remy and holding another out for Logan. “Chilled to help you wake up. Mild bean blend with a salted caramel mix; extra salt to balance out the sweet. All the buzz of Remy’s coffee, without the bitter bite and some cream on top just for show.”

“That hasn’t been on the menu,” Remy grumbled as he reviewed it one more time just in case he’d missed a new addition.

“I know.” Logan noticed Virgil shift nervously on his feet after placing the beverage down before him. “Thought I would make something special for the beginner.”

“You never did that for me!”

“Don’t act so offended. You were already a veteran drinker when you first came here.”

Tuning out the other voices, Logan glanced sadly between the clock on the wall and the personalised drink in front of him. He considered what Remy had just demonstrated and made a decision before speaking again.

“Thank you, Virgil, but unfortunately I can’t stay.” Two sets of eyes snapped to Logan as he carefully shuffled out of the booth. “Remy believes I can pass this test, but if I don’t leave now, I might not be able to even take it in the first place. I’m sorry.”

A smile crept back onto Remy’s face as Virgil grabbed Logan’s hand when he turned to leave.

“Wait…you said you needed something to help get you through the exam, though.”

“I-I-I’ll just have to…push through it I guess.”

“No. Here.” Grabbing the cup from the table, Virgil held it out for the other. “Take it with you.”

“But… you don’t do take away, here. What about your family recipes?”

“Yeah, well…this is my recipe a-a-and I want you to take it.” Cautiously, Logan took the cup and Virgil released his other hand. “Besides, when you return the cup…I’ll get to see you again.”

Logan almost let the beverage slip through his fingers in shock but nodded and hurried out of the store. Remy chuckled before carefully taking a sip of his own drink.

“The only thing that would have made that gayer, would have been if Pat and Roman were here sharing a rainbow unicorn.”

“You planned that whole thing, didn’t you?” Virgil breathed, not taking his eyes away from when he last saw Logan.

“Not entirely,” he sighed and dug into his back pocket. “I thought for sure the bitch would have paid.”

———————————————

What else have I done?

Writing masterlist / master post thingy

Check out my main blog @snail-giggles for random fandom reblogs and stuff

[belladonnabear]

Hawks X Reader: Damn Cat

Scenario: Hawks gets turned into a cat and reader has to keep him safe while the other heroes try to find the criminals that did this. While you sort through your emotions about the Winged Hero.

Artist: https://kadeart.tumblr.com/

~~

Of all the things to wake you up, you had to get a call from your crushes assistant Jaehee about an emergency that needed your help. That would have been fine...if it wasn't three in the morning on your week off. What could Hawks possibly need with you?

Hawks was a hero at the start you didn't really care for. It was hard for you to understand how someone like him became one of the Top 3 Pro Heroes. You first met while fighting against a harpy like villain. Your quirk was known as illusions. You can create physical illusions that can be seen by everyone. You could even use it to disguise yourself. Your quirk is the whole reason Hawks became interested in you.

~~

You were in a tight match with the villain. She had the advantage being in the air so you couldn't get in a good enough hit on her. Suddenly, you could see the flicker of red feathers drop down like arrows onto the villain. Thankfully, you were able to avoid the feathers gracefully but frowned when you saw some of them damage a small bicycle. The villain crashed down below grumbling in pain. Hawks flown down and spoke faster than you could comprehend.

"Hey, could you please take care of this? I have a meeting I got to and I'm already late! Thanks a bunch!" he sputtered out.

He flew off with his feathers reattaching to his wings. You didn't even get a chance to say anything. Boy were the parents of the bike not happy with you and their daughter bawled her eyes out over her damaged bike. Even the police were giving you judgmental looks for being so reckless and it wasn't even your fault! Wanting to not upset the poor child any further, you offered the parents money for the bike so they could get her a new one. You ended up having to pay ¥ 21545 (200 USD) for the bike. Your wallet was completely empty after this.

After that you were infuriated with the Winged Hero. You were glad that he did help you take out the villain, but his reckless actions caused you to be harassed by the media for months. Not to mention your grocery money for the week! Not everyone is as rich and successful as him! You never wanted to meet that pompous jerk again.

You two however met again. You were out on top of a roof at night squaring up against two hitman. Both of them were disarmed thanks to your quirk and combat abilities. Eventually, both were knocked out as you searched them for weapons.

"Wow, that's one nifty ability you got there!"

Your face began twitching at the voice. With a fierce glare, you saw the Winged Hero land down with a smirk on his face. He looked rather impressed with you. He must have been watching the fight. But you didn't have time to deal with him. These two criminals needed to be handed over to the authorities.

"Buzz off pest!" you snapped.

He looked surprised as you picked up both men and began walking down the emergency fire escape. But the hero didn't stop pestering her.

"You need help carrying those two?" Hawks wondered.

"So you can make things worse for me again? As if! Go find some fangirls and bother them instead!" you scoffed.

He pouted as he realized you didn't like him for some reason. Wait...again? When did he ever make things worse for you? He tried recalling your face but then it suddenly clicked.

"Wait, you're the hero I met when that harpy attacked!" Hawks exclaimed.

"Now you remember?" you rolled your eyes as you finally made it down the alley.

"I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to introduce myself but I really was supposed to be in a meeting soon and was running late-!" Hawks began.

"Just shut up! I could care less about meeting you! Your reckless actions got me into a lot of trouble with the press and civilians alike! All because you weren't watching where those feathers of yours were going!" you shouted.

Hawks suddenly felt like a massive idiot. He wasn't paying attention that day. Honestly, his goal was to take down the villain as fast as he could and then get out of there. So his aim was off and she got blamed for it?

"Why didn't you just put the blame on me instead?" Hawks wondered.

"A heroes job is to help others no matter what. Not cause a media frenzy between two heroes. It was my responsibility to take down the villain but yours was to just get in and out. I lost over half of my paycheck that week because you destroyed a little girls bike and I paid her parents so she could get a new one. And even after two months, I'm still getting emails at my agency questioning why I got so careless when fighting. I'm lucky my boss didn't fire me on the spot! He's already hounding on me for not doing my job properly! Now I only have one more chance and if I slip up one more time, I'm unemployed! Now please leave me alone for good so I can do my job!" you scolded.

Now he felt like the worst person on planet Earth. She didn't want to cause drama so she took the blame for his mistake. And not only did it effect her work life but even her personal one as well. Plus her boss sounded like really ass for threatening to fire her. He did admire how she went out of her way to help the little girl get a new bike but from it sounded like it costed a lot of money to replace. While it wouldn't have been a problem for someone like him, he imagined that wasn't the case for her. Even the media was bothering her about it.

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. Hawks wanted to respect her wishes but he felt like he had to make it up to her somehow. It was his fault after all.

The cops picked up the two men as Hawks slowly approached her. She eyed him suspiciously as he clapped his hands together.

"I'm really sorry about the mess I've caused you. I truly didn't mean it. Can I have your name please?" Hawks requested.

Your eyes glared at him but eventually you conceded. "My hero name is (H/N). My real name is (Y/N)."

His eyes sparkled. "Nice to meet you! I'm Hawks! Since you're having a hard time at your agency, why don't you try to come work for my agency? You have a fantastic ability and your combat skills are great! The pay is pretty good too! I could give you my number and we could talk about it some time!"

You were frozen in shock at his offer. One minute making your life hell and the next he's offering you a job at one of the best hero agencies in Japan.

~~

The two of you exchanged numbers and the rest was history. You quit working for your horrible boss and started working for Hawks. Despite his cocky nature the two of you surprisingly got along well. You became a lot nicer to him after he defended you from the media when they started questioning why the famous Hawks would accept such a brash hero.

But what could the emergency be that he needed you? You pulled up to the building and walking up to the building. Suddenly, Jaehee grabbed your wrist and began pulling down the hallway.

"Thank you for coming (H/N). I'm sorry to call you at such a time but Hawks requested that you come." Jaehee nodded.

"So what's the problem?" you asked.

"He was recently attacked by a villain group out to seek revenge. One of them managed to escape and used his quirk on Hawks." Jaehee answered.

"Is he hurt?" you sharply inquired.

"He's...fine but...well...it's easier if I just show you..." Jaehee muttered.

She opened up the door to the conference room and you walked in. On the table was a cream colored cat with golden eyes. His eyes were what you noticed first. They were the same shape and color that Hawks eyes were.

"Jaehee...are you trying to tell me...that Hawks was turned into a cat?" you slowly said.

Hawks mewed in delight as you noticed him. Jaehee face palmed and nodded.

"Yes, the villain has an animal changing quirk. We've accessed that by touching his victims, he's able to turn them into any kind of animal. We're lucky Hawks wasn't turned into a goldfish." Jaehee answered.

Hawks didn't seem to upset by the news. He hopped off the table and began rubbing up against your legs purring. Hesitantly, you scratched behind his ears and he mewled in content. Even going so far as to stand up on his hindlegs and grab your hand. You slowly picked him up and held him in your arms. Hawks buried his face into you purring loudly. You noticed his back had red markings that were shaped like the wings he used to have.

"So any ideas how to change him back?" you asked.

"Other heroes are looking out for the villain as we speak. His name and face are plastered all on the news. We just need someone to take care of Hawks while this is happening. Thankfully the media has no idea what has happened to him but we're too busy at the moment to take care of him. Since you're on vacation, we won't have to worry about taking care of him while we search for the culprit." Jaehee explained.

"So I'm Cat-Sitting him for vacation." you pouted.

"Believe me, I would rather be at the beach on vacation. But we need someone to keep an eye on him. He has his memories and human brain but he's developed some cat like behaviors as well. He was batting at the tassel on my purse earlier." Jaehee huffed.

So it looks like you were going to have your hands full this vacation.

~~

Hawks was in the passenger side of seat looking out. You never took Hawks to your home before. So he must have been curious as to where you lived. He ended up hissing at a dog who was in his owners car before he sped off.

Then you pulled into your garage that was in your small apartment complex. You picked up Hawks and walked up the stairs to your apartment. It was one floor with a kitchen combined with a living room. There was a side door that lead to the bathroom and your room which was over in the far corner.

Hawks leapt out of your arms and started sniffing around. Seemingly exploring the place curiously. He then jumped up on your couch and huffed. Guess he wasn't fond of it. You sat down on the couch and groaned into your hands. How did it get like this? Why were you babysitting kitty Hawks? When will he turn back? What if you embarrass yourself in front of him?

The feline didn't seem to care as he crawled into your lap and started taking a nap. However, it was cut short once you heard a knock on your front door. You got off the couch as Hawks slipped onto it. Looking through the peephole, you saw your neighbor Mineo. Opening the door you looked at Mineo curiously.

"What's up?" you wondered.

"I saw you pulling out of the driveway in a rush earlier! You okay?" Mineo wondered.

Mineo was a cop, so it was in his nature to be concerned about others safety.

"Yeah, just a call from work about some important changes. Can't speak too much though. Sorry I worried you Mineo." you apologized.

At your feet Hawks hissed at the strange man. His fur was fluffed up as he bared his sharp teeth.

"Since when did you have a cat?" he wondered.

"M-My friend is out of town and he asked me to look after him." you lied.

"What's his name?" Mineo asked.

"Hawks." you said without thinking.

"Your friend is a fan of heroes?" Mineo teased.

"Y-Yeah." you nodded.

"Sorry to bother you kitty. I just wanted to make sure my cute neighbor was safe." Mineo apologized.

Hawks hissed at him again as Mineo began walking away awkwardly. You shut the door and Hawks was still growling lowly.

"Why were you acting like that around him?" you asked.

For a moment you forgot he couldn't speak. Suddenly, you grabbed your tablet and brought it to the note app. Placing it down you began  asking Hawks.

"What's wrong?"

Hawks began typing with his paws.

I don't like him. He's way too friendly with you. Besides, what kind of neighbor checks on their neighbor at 5 in the morning and calls them cute?

You sighed and rubbed your temple. "Mineo has been crushing on me for about a year now. I've declined him when he asked me to be his girlfriend. So I'm not surprised that he's still trying to win me over."

Hawks hissed again and began typing away.

I still don't like him.

You laughed. "Yeah I get that. It's fine. I won't have much time to deal with him anyways. I've got a damn cat to look after."

Hawks calmed down after that and rubbed his head against your leg. You petted him and stood up.

"Let me make us some breakfast. You good with chicken?"

He chirped and followed you into the kitchen. You swear you see a small smile on his cat face.

~~ Spending time with Kitty Hawks was a lot more fun than you thought it would be. Hawks did come with you to the beach wearing a leash on his life jacket. Though it seemed he wasn't that fond of the water. But you did get a good photo of his wet cat self after a good swim.

Hawks was still showing signs of his cat like self. He couldn't stop staring at the birds outside your window and he even got a good laugh when he was high off catnip. The video on your phone was amazing.

Hawks actually slept in the same bed as you. At first it was annoying because you had a couch all for him but he declined and dashed off to your bed to sleep. He was too cute to deny so you allowed him to sleep in there.

There were times it was annoying though. Like he accidentally got chocolate pudding on him (which resulted in you trying to clean the kitchen as fast as you could) and you had to give him a bath. Hawks was snarling and grumbling the whole time.

You honestly though did miss hearing Hawks voice and seeing his human smile. Kitty Hawks was cute but you really wished you had regular Hawks back.

~~

You made it back from grocery shopping and saw Hawks on the counter licking himself clean. The tablet was there too. He greeted you with a meow as you scratched his ears.

"I got some chicken that you wanted. Hopefully, I can make the oyakodon as good as my mother used to." you began bringing out the ingredients.

Hawks made a mewing noise and tilted his head. You never mentioned your mother before.

"Oh...she died when I was seven. She used to be the pro hero Silver Scepter but she died trying to evacuate some civilians in an explosion accident. I was alone after that. My dad was around but...he's pretty horrible to be honest. Haven't spoken to him in three years. I plan on keeping it that way." you explained awkwardly.

Hawks began typing at the tablet.

Why did you decide to become a hero?

You thought for a moment before replying.

"My mom inspired me. She was always bright about the future ahead of her and how we all had the power to change the world if we just tried. When she died...I was questioning whether what she was saying was truly right. Especially since my dad started resenting hero life and said how it's all fruitless. But even after that....I still wanted to believe that she was right. Dad and I got into many arguments after that and he made me feel like shit for years. I moved out when I was 18. He told me that it's fine that I moved out but don't expect him to come to my funeral if I'm killed in action. That...really hurt. My moms words are what keep me moving forward. Even if....I'm sure what I'm doing is right." you stated.

You suddenly felt something soft rub against your back. You turned to see Hawks looking at you happily. As if to let you know that you weren't alone. He put his paws around your shoulders and began purring to try and comfort you. You slowly wrapped your arms around his feline body and began to pet him.

Talking about your feelings towards your father and opening up about your mother's death really felt like a heavy weight was lifted off of you. You felt comfortable letting your crush know about your life and he seemed pleased that you were opening up to him. It felt natural and blissful.

~~

It was late at night as you were sleeping in bed with Hawks there as well. He sure was a deep sleeper. You were on your phone texting with Jaehee, so far there's been no sign of the villain who turned Hawks into a cat. Which was unfortunate since you needed him in order to turn Hawks back into a human.

However, you thought you heard a creaking noise on the other side of the door. You slowly got out of bed and placed the blanket of the still sleeping Hawks. You could just feel that someone was on the other side of the door. You grabbed your switchblade and prepared your quirk in case it was a robber.

Opening the door swiftly you saw a fist try to land a blow to your face. Your illusion falls instead. You rushed forward, tackle the intruder, and takes out your switchblade and pin the man's right hand to his back. Hawks rushed out of the bedroom and growled at the man. You didn't know who he was but you had a feeling he was up to no good. Suddenly, another man came up and ran at Hawks. It was the same man who turned Hawks into a cat and was here to finish off the job.

Thinking quickly, you then push the intruder below you forward into the his accomplice. You scooped up Hawks and ran out the door to Mineo's place knocking on the door frantically. However, he didn't answer and there was no light. He wasn't back from his shift yet.

The two men came rushing out. You saw one of them had a gun. You quickly leaped over the balcony and into the first floor. However, your switchblade fell out of your hoodie pocket and was on the second floor. You ran with Hawks still in your arms. Panicking, now you had a defenseless Hawks as a cat and two armed crazy guys were going after you. Your cellphone was still charging on your dresser and you had no weapon to take them out. You had to defend Hawks and while trying to take those two out. First thing first, Hawks needed somewhere to hide. Your eyes caught the sight of a now dumpster and you apologized quietly.

"I'm sorry Hawks. I'll come back for you. Please be quiet." you quickly said.

You quietly picked up the lid as a now frantic Hawks tried to cling to you. Whether it was to avoid being stuck in the dumpster or he wanted to keep you safe wasn't a thought you had at the moment. His safety was too important.

You placed him down gently and closed the lid as quietly as you could. You were going to have to take those two men out next. And you'll have to do it with stealth. You quickly hopped up a tree and then leapt onto the roof trying to scan the area. You saw the two guys frantically look around for you. Guns still out as they're looking around restlessly. You prayed that none of your neighbors would come out for a midnight stroll or that Hawks would remain quiet where he is. You saw the two split up as you went for the one who was getting closer to the dumpster. He wasn't looking above so you decided to use that to your advantage.

A loose roof shingle would be a great distraction. You pulled it out and launched it far away. It hit a tree which caused the man to turn and look in the other direction.

"Who the fuck is there?!" he shouted.

You then ran and leapt down. Crashing down onto the man and knocking him out as his head went face first into the ground.

"Takao! You okay?!" the other man yelled.

You leapt up into the tree and kept yourself hidden. The other man gasped in shock as he saw his partner knocked out. He freaked out and began to sputter. "T-T-The hell?!"

His frantic behavior accidentally lead him to pull the trigger and he shot at a lamppost.

You had to take him out before he hurts someone. You created an illusion of yourself and the man quickly turned towards you. In that split second, while he fired another shot at your illusion, you shot down and gave him a quick roundhouse kick to the head. He slammed against the dumpster and was knocked out.

You quickly tied both men up as Mineo ran over asking. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"These two need to go to jail tonight. I'll explain everything in a moment. Keep an eye on them." you quickly said.

You ran over to the dumpster and opened the lid. In the blink of an eye, Hawks cat body clung onto you. He was mewling and clinging to the crook of your neck. He must have been really worried, especially after the gun shots went off. You quickly began petting his fur and whispered.

"It's okay. We're both fine."

~~

The two men were arrested and Hawks was eventually turned back into a human. You were given a lot of praise in the media for taking out the two men without getting much hurt and developed a fanbase after that.

Mineo's brother was the other culprit. He had started drinking with his brother and had gotten drunk. Mineo admitted that he liked you and wanted to win you over but you didn't seem interested. He mentioned how you seemed more interested in your pet cat named Hawks. Mineo's brother was associated with the man who turned Hawks into a cat. So he managed to get enough information about you while Mineo was drunk. Mineo even explained what the cat looked like and the two confirmed that it was the same kind of cat that Hawks was turned into. The two criminals were either going to kill both you and Hawks or try to kill Hawks while you were none the wiser.

Mineo felt terrible about the situation and felt like he didn't deserve someone like you. Someone who risked their life to keep others safe while he was the reason you were in danger. He hasn't flirted with you since. You were thrilled when Hawks was back and even gave him a friendly hug.

However, now you two would be going back to being friends. Just when you started enjoying his company, you two would have to keep your relationship professional and not personal. It hurt. But at least he was safe. Eventually, you were ordered to have a private meeting with Hawks about the incident.

"You were really stupid, you know?"

That was the first thing that came out of his mouth. You stood there in surprise at his blunt statement.

"Excuse me?" you asked.

"You could have gotten really hurt. Those guys had guns and you were unarmed. You should have just called the police instead of trying to take them out by yourself. Anything could have gone wrong. And....I was worried about you..." he admitted.

Your heart started beating faster. He wasn't trying to give you a lecture, he wanted you to be more careful. He was worried about your safety.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to make sure you would be safe and that no one else got hurt." you apologized.

"You could have gotten hurt." Hawks pointed out.

With that he grabbed your face with both of his hands and slammed his lips onto yours. Your heart soared as you took this opportunity to reciprocate his feelings. Your arms were locked around this as you two began making out in his office. His tongue twirling around yours and you left how smooth yet rough his lips were. He held onto you like he was afraid you would disappear.

Eventually, you pulled away as you whispered. "I'll do better next time."

Hawks smirked. "Don't worry about it too much. You did a pretty good job otherwise. Your mom would be proud of you."

You could feel tears well up in your eyes but you pushed them back nodding. "Right."

"Anyways, you wanna go out on a date with me this Saturday? There's this barbecue place with all kinds of chicken?" Hawks invited.

"All you can eat?" you teased.

"Of course!" he exclaimed.

"Sounds like a good first date you damn cat."

[illuxions-x]

A Little Death

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I’m not sure just a little story concept I came up with at 3 am and ran with. enjoy.

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Nothing this bad was supposed to happen here. Ever.

It wasn’t me who came up with the idea of writing everything down. I can’t remember who did, but as soon as it was mentioned everyone else seemed to like the idea too.

 I'm not sure what they expect me to write exactly, but I was voted the most capable to do so out of everyone, which of course I disagree with but I don’t really hate the idea of documenting this. So if no one else will I guess it can’t hurt to give it a crack.

Eva had to dig around her room for a couple minutes to find a journal, which she must have forgotten she had because there were no more than four small sketches we had to rip out for the book to be completely empty.

I tried sitting in the living room to write, I thought maybe being around everyone would give me more inspiration to write but all that happened was everyone decided to crowd around me, all staring at the blank paper in anticipation as though whatever I wrote would impact the universe forever. I couldn’t stand it, how do they expect me to write with them hovering over me like that.

There is a reason why I was the one chosen though, because even though I have the messiest handwriting that absolutely no one can read, I'm good with getting down the small things, like the feelings. 

But I want anyone reading this to know that this is me writing about my feelings and my feelings only, not Eva’s and not Noah’s. My feelings, my experiences. That's the only way this is going to work.

The only one out of all 9 of us that lived out of town was Eva, a sweet farm girl that likes to bake. We’re all lucky to be friends with her, I’m not sure if we would even be alive if we didn’t have a place out of town to stay. 

I’ll be forever grateful to Eva for that.

I found a spot on the balcony, kind of huddled up in the corner. I even brought a blanket to make sure I didn’t get cold.

It's a nice spot, the balcony is where I usually have a smoke in the morning, usually with  warm tea and a book every now and then. The deck squeaks wherever you step and the railings are slowly rotting away, someone will probably have to fix them soon before one of us ends up falling over the edge.

There isn’t much to do here though, everyone kind of just sits around when they’re not on watch. A few people have just finished building a garden on the roof but we need to make a small trip to a house to get seeds because I don’t think anyone thought we would even get this far ahead.

The view is nice here, the property has a bunch of gum trees surrounding it which gives us just a little bit more cover, but god do the kookaburras get loud in the morning, I honestly don’t think I’ve slept in past 7 or 8 am in months. 

There’s a creek a couple hundred meters from ‘the shack’. That’s what we’ve nicknamed Eva’s, it fits pretty well too. The house is pretty run down, been here a couple decades but I think it’s the perfect place to hideout.

I know I should be writing about other things, but I feel like I have to set the scene or maybe if you’re reading this you’ve already skipping my monologue and gotten to the actual beginning, which hasn’t been written yet but it’s probably there for you. 

Hopefully.

It’s been pretty boring here the last few weeks, and this has been the best idea anyone's had in a while. I feel a little guilty I have to admit, Noah seemed to really like the idea of writing everything down and I could tell he secretly wanted to be the one writing. He is a good writer too, he hasn’t said anything yet and I doubt he will.

He’s too nice to say anything, so it will probably eat away at him until he either decides to write his own version, or forget about it and do something else.

Noah is a sweetheart really, but he wasn't with us from the very beginning, he came a little bit later, so I guess it made sense that he wasn't the one chosen.

There's not much more to now than to get into the ‘story’, I’m not really sure how to do it so I’m going to start in the beginning and work my way from there to now, which should be fine if my memory is working fine.

I’m going to start in Psychology class, double period on a Friday, God it feels like a lifetime since I’ve been in a classroom and it's not like I ever hated school, it's just a bit of you don't know what you have until it's gone.

By the start of the second session an announcement was made over the loudspeaker, the principle calling a lockdown. This was odd for more than one reason.

The first being this is Australia, everyone doesn’t walk around with guns freely. The second is I haven’t had a real lockdown since grade 3 when some crackhead walked into school with a cricket bat trying to hit tiny fairies.

So we all just assumed it was a drill, even the teacher did. That was at least until Mrs Reece got an email.

I remember her asking the class who had gotten the COVID vaccine, at least half the class put their hands up, a couple of them being my friends, Ellie Newton, Emily Jackson, Jake Cross and Lucas Walker.

They were taken out of the class by some other teacher, I can't remember his name but he taught P.E which I didn’t do, obviously. He had a whole group of kids with him, saying anyone that was vaccinated had to go to the gym immediately, so when everyone left there weren't many people in the room-no more than 15 year 11’s.

But I never saw that group of people again.

It only took a couple minutes and the remaining people were moved to the second gym, the old one that we only used when the new one was being used for something else. I just remember it being full of students who were all crowded in small groups all as clueless as we were.

The remaining 500 or so people of all year levels were told to sit, they set up the projector and started playing the news. I remember saying something to Sarah next to me along the lines of, ‘wow all this for the queen finally dying’. It was funny at the time I promise.

But instead of showing the royal family the screen showed people running around the city in what I can only describe as anarchy, cars were on fire and there were just bodies laying there on the road like roadkill.

It didn’t take long for someone to say it though, we were waiting for someone to shout it.

‘Zombie Apocalypse!’

I still get shivers even now, thinking about how quickly everything changed.

The news broadcast explained that the only people that were infected currently were people who got the vaccine, and it only took a few moments for things to click in my brain.

Everyone else in my family got the vaccine except me, Mum and Mad got theirs so they could go back to work, and my younger sister had to get hers done to be accepted back at kindergarten.

Not to mention the vaccine wasn’t cheap, $40 per dose. So I decided I could live without it for an extra week to two to make sure we had enough money for bills and food.

Maybe my parents being broke was what saved my life.

Then the police came and told us we couldn’t leave, which only made me want to leave even more. I felt trapped while my family was at home turning into mindless brain eaters.

I guess that was where our plan began, none of us wanted to stay there in the old gym that smelled too much like sweaty socks. The plan wasn’t even that good, we only got out by dumb luck that 10 police officers couldn’t keep tabs on everyone.

So we all went to  the toilets a couple minutes apart from each other, climbing out of the small window. It was a miracle we all even fit.

I don’t know what happened to the kids that stayed in that gym, but I haven’t seen another kid from school since that day, well not alive at least.

[tiaragqueen]

Can i request a yandere!tarzan! Jungkook? I've been thinking about it a lot lately but nobody seems to done it :""))

Champing At The Bit

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Tarzan! Jeon Jeongguk x Reader

✂ Word Count: 3,6k+

✂ Trigger Warning: Animal attack, blood, death, obsessiveness, possessiveness, sadism

✂ This story is fictional and for amusement only. I don’t believe any of the members would do this in real life. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day!

Donot re-upload my writing to another website or use it without mypermission.

[Edited]

***

Okay, so… I might have gone a bit overboard on this one. This is probably the longest one-shot I’ve ever written, but I don’t know. The edited version might be shorter, tho. Why, you look at that. It’s longer than the unedited one.

If you like mywriting, please support me on ko-fi!

“One way or another, I’m going to find ya. I’m gonna get ya. One way or another, I’m going to win ya.” – One Way Or Another [Blondie]

You didn’t know what to expect from this scene.

No, scratch that. You hadn’t expected this to happen at all.

You had always known that your baby brother was more sociable than you. It was a trait you had been long secretly envious of. There was something from him that easily attracted people to him, either from his smile or overall mannerisms. While you were approaching your early twenties, your social skills remained undeveloped. It didn’t help that you had a tendency to overanalyze things, too.

However, you would later learn that your introversion wasn’t a curse as you had initially thought. In fact, it could save you from the doom that would soon befall you.

“[Brother’s name], what… what are you doing? Who is he?” you asked, brows furrowed deeply and eyes widened in an overwhelming mixture of confusion, shock, relief, fear, and wariness.

“Ah, Noona!” your brother beamed once he spotted you and enthusiastically pointed to the stranger in question. “Look, I’ve got a new friend! His name is Jungkook, but he likes to be called ‘Kookie’.”

Your mouth slackened as you glanced at the pair back and forth, trying to make sense of their relationship. Well, it wasn’t like you misheard what your brother said just now. In fact, you heard it a little bit too clearly for your liking. But of course, what kind of a normal human being would immediately accept the fact that their sibling had befriended a fucking Tarzan in the middle of a forest?!

‘Kookie’ shrunk a little and bowed his head when you averted your attention to him, displaying his shyness towards strangers. At least, he wasn’t aggressive. That was a plus. You didn’t know what to do if there was a young man, wearing nothing but a dark ripped cloth to cover his lower part, were to attack your brother. You cleared your throat to distract yourself from the disturbing image.

“Well, that was nice and all but can we please go back to the camp? Mama has been waiting for you, you know?”

[Brother’s name] bit his bottom lip, and it didn’t take a genius to know that he hesitated to leave this ‘Kookie’. Was it possible to create such a close relationship with someone you just met? Was he really that interesting to your brother until he felt reluctant to go?

“Can we bring him too? He looks so lonely…”

You didn’t bat an eye on rejecting his ridiculous suggestion, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, [Brother’s name].”

There was no way in hell you would bring that guy to your parents. They might not panic much, but you didn’t want to deal with the consequences should something bad happened. He might get a panic attack – or worse, go on a rampage – if you forced him to meet other people.

“But can you at least introduce yourself first, Noona? Kookie might be shy, but he’s very curious about you.”

How the hell did he know that that guy was curious about you? Did he suddenly possess a sixth sense or something? And besides, that guy refused to look at you in the eye!

“Oh, um, I…” Fuck this shit. If you wanted to leave, then you better deal with this quickly. “Uh… Hi, Kookie. I’m [Name], [Brother’s name]’s older sister.”

Was that friendly enough? Could he even comprehend what you just said? Judging from the way [Brother’s name] grinned when he glanced at the said man, you assumed that he indeed understood. To some extent, probably.

“Kookie said you’re pretty, Noona.”

How did one accept a compliment from a Tarzan? You didn’t know, you never bothered to know, and you definitely didn’t expect to know how. And that was why your reaction was painfully awkward, even cringy if someone were to watch this whole interaction.

“Oh, thank you. He’s… he’s handsome too.”

That wasn’t a lie. He did look handsome. And cute too. With long eyelashes that framed his doe eyes, chubby cheeks, healthy pink and plump lips, down to the tiny mole that you almost missed. You had no doubt that he would gain a lot of admirers had he was more… normal. But what was normal for you, might not be normal to others. And with his fidgety mannerisms that just screamed bashfulness and awkwardness throughout, he might end up as one of those wallflowers or an antisocial that avoided people altogether.

No, actually, the latter seemed much more likely to happen. It was a miracle that your brother even managed to befriend him in a span of twenty minutes.

Another reason for you to be insecure about.

“Okay, introduction’s over. Let’s go back, shall we?”

[Brother’s name] nodded, satisfied with what he thought was a successful conversation. Linking his fingers with yours, he skipped down the trodden path that led to the campsite whilst smiling happily. With your back turned, you were able to sense Jungkook’s penetrating gaze as opposed to the occasional timid glances earlier.

A shiver slithered down your spine.

It had been days since your first encounter with Jungkook. And ever since that, your brother had been secretly meeting him under the pretense of ‘exploring the area’. Of course, you being you, refused to accept his excuse at face value, unlike your parents who had shown a positive reaction over his so-called adventure. They even made another comment on how you should ‘be more active like him’ instead of ‘spending your time doing useless things such as constantly playing your phone’, although they didn’t know what you truly did with it. Just because you often play your phone, didn’t mean you always searched meaningless things. Sometimes, you liked to explore stuff and looked up some facts.

Obviously, they didn’t understand that. Not that you wanted to. There was no reason why you should convince someone who was too stubborn to change their mind.

The latter was also why they decided to make this spontaneous camping in the first place, much to your dismay. You had initially planned to spend your whole summer working on that story you had been procrastinating for so long, but your parents thought that it was time for some ‘family moment’.

And because you cared about your brother, despite your envy, you’d decided to ‘join’ him. Your parents were excited and thought that you finally ‘opened up’ to the world. You had ignored their gushing and accompanied your sibling in meeting his new friend.

Jungkook, although shy, was very talkative once a close bond was established. You didn’t find this very surprising, to be honest, since you yourself weren’t much different than him in this aspect. But what astounded you was the fact that he seemed to take more interest in you, more than he did to your brother. [Brother’s name], being a naïve boy he was, felt happy with this development. Thus, he took it upon himself to act as the ‘accommodating guide’ by answering Jungkook’s silent questions that – frankly speaking – sounded more like hushed whispers and occasional hoots. You didn’t know that it was possible for someone to gain a skill in communicating with Tarzan within such a short time, but that was what set him apart from you anyway.

Slowly, but surely, Jungkook started to open up more and more with you. From light, albeit hesitant, touching to bashful smiles; he did everything he could do to ensure that your attention remained on him alone. He even tried to speak to you once, but your overt inability to comprehend his words prevented you from fully understanding what he said. It wasn’t as if you wanted to know, either.

Honestly, you didn’t know what to feel from this so-called development. On one hand, you were creeped out at the fact that Tarzan had taken an interest in you. But on the other hand, you were flattered that someone actually found you desirable for once. That someone would make an effort to get to know you, or by the very least, including you in their conversations and not neglecting you as most people did.

The last day of camping came at the blink of an eye. [Brother’s name] kept sobbing that he wouldn’t be able to visit Jungkook again, while you awkwardly patted his small back. Comforting people wasn’t your forte, but for the sake of people you loved, you were willing to do anything for them. Even if it meant handling their emotional outbursts.

“Come on, [Brother’s name]. We need to go home.” you murmured, yet he merely cried harder. Before you, Jungkook didn’t provide any assistance whatsoever except watching him for the past five minutes.

“B-but, I can’t see him again.” [Brother’s name] blubbered.

You wished to say that he would be able to meet Jungkook once he was a bit older, but you couldn’t exactly promise such a thing to him. Life sometimes got in the way of achieving what you wanted, and that was why you refused to go around spreading empty words unless the odds were favorable.

“Okay, well…” you glanced around, racking your brain to come up with a perfect solution that wouldn’t leave [Brother’s name] even sadder than he already was. “Why don’t you say goodbye to Kookie now? Who knows, you might feel a bit better.”

[Brother’s name] sniffled, but luckily, he obliged to your suggestion. Approaching the quiet Jungkook, he threw his small arms around his neck and sobbed into his bare shoulders.

“Kookie, I’m leaving now.” he croaked with a voice that broke your heart a little. You’d never expected to get teared up from witnessing such an emotional scene, even though Jungkook was nowhere near emotional. His face remained blank as he blinked repeatedly, as though unaware of a child weeping in his embrace.

Damn him. He could’ve at least made an effort to appear affected.

Sniffling once more, [Brother’s name] withdrew from the one-sided hug and smiled bitterly. “I’ll see you again, Kookie. Please don’t forget me.”

Jungkook stared at him for a moment before turned to you. His dark eyes were hollow yet piercing as if trying to gauge your reaction through your ‘friendly-sister-of-a-friend’ façade. Maybe he did, then that would explain why he kept watching you lately. If you could even call that ‘watching’ because it looked more like observing than mere watching. Still, it didn’t make the experience felt any less unnerving.

You simpered at him, nonetheless. Couldn’t show him your discomfort, could you? For all you knew, he could be planning something and a glimpse of your true feelings might be something he’d deeply anticipated. “Well, Jung– I mean, Kookie. I think it’s time for us to go. It’s been an interesting week, and I can’t say that I regretted meeting you.”

Just a little, though. You had always doubted that Tarzan existed, especially in such a modern world like this, but his existence proved otherwise.

Jungkook stepped forward and suddenly brought you into a deep hug. Stunned, you let him buried his head into your stomach. You could’ve sworn that you heard him purring too, yet that was the least of your worries. Jungkook had never been this bold before – he always retained some degree of shyness in expressing his affection – so perhaps he finally felt comfortable with you? Enough to embrace you without a warning like this?

“[Name]…” he mumbled against your shirt. Your eyes instinctively widened, while [Brother’s name] gasped in astonishment.

“He spoke!” [Brother’s name] squealed, clapping vigorously as if he had witnessed first-hand something extraordinary. That would be understandable considering that Jungkook never seemed to speak before. “He finally spoke!”

You didn’t know what to do in this situation. No, scratch that, you knew exactly what you wanted to do. You wanted to run – away from this forest and its nonsense – and never looked back. Being observed was enough to put you on the edge, and now he decided to call you by your name too? This should’ve turned on the warning bell in your head. And as much as you wished to shove him on to the ground, you still had the decency to gently push him away.

“Oh, did you hear that? Mama is calling us. Let’s go, [Brother’s name]!” On the spur of the moment, you came up with a not-so-believable lie and grabbed his hand.

[Brother’s name] sputtered in shock. “B-but, Noona, I didn’t–”

“Goodbye, Kookie!” you exclaimed with more vigor than necessary, or what would one expect from a farewell.

You dashed through the trees which homogeneity seemed to confuse you in each minute, determined to make it into the campsite before it was too late. Why did you feel this way when the forest looked safe? Honestly, you weren’t sure yourself. You just had this hunch that something was wrong the moment Jungkook averted his gaze to you.

Or maybe the darkness and desire in his eyes gave it away.

Either way, you couldn’t afford to rest even if [Brother’s name] had been panting since earlier. You wanted to prove to yourself that your hunch was incorrect; that it was merely a suspicion or a secret fear that Jungkook would try to harm you and your family. Maybe it was somewhat unfair to place the blame on him when he hadn’t done anything wrong than just being his shy, creepy self. But it wasn’t like you could trust someone you met a week ago. You weren’t that careless.

During your rushed journey, you’d prayed and prayed that your hunch didn’t come true. That it all just happened in your head. But nothing, absolutely nothing, could prepare you for the massacre that greeted you at your destination.

Bodies laid on top of each other, eyes glassy yet profound with the unfairness of being the innocent victims. Some of their limbs looked like they had been forcibly ripped out from their sockets, leaving bloody bones that protruded through the rugged flesh. Their clothes were torn, mouths opened in a silent scream that fell on deaf ears, and they were looking up the sky as though it could lend a lifeline to save them from their untimely dooms.

Bile climbed from the pit of your stomach as you covered [Brother’s name]’s eyes, afraid that he would be traumatized by the horrible sight. He was still young and pure; he didn’t need to see what his parents had become. Charred and torn beyond belief and recognition. Sure, you weren’t really fond of them due to their tendency to compare you with [Brother’s name], but they didn’t deserve to die. Nobody at this campsite did, honestly.

“Noona!”

You gasped when someone – or rather, something – snatched him from your grasp. A black chimpanzee stood in one of the branches and held him against its chest, shouting incoherent things to you. Despite your disinterest towards monkey and ape species, there was a hidden fear deep inside your heart that was reserved for the chimpanzees. Especially when they were cornering you right now, a helpless and panicked human. You didn’t know if chimpanzees could eat humans, but you did know about their cannibalistic habits.

And now, your beloved baby brother was held as a captive.

What kind of a shitty movie was this?!

“Do you still… want to leave, [Name]?” a breathy voice asked in a broken sentence, showing their slight inexperience of speaking human language.

Your expression went cold as you slowly turned around, wishing that the speaker was nothing like what you thought them to be. However, your hunch was proven correct once again.

“Jungkook,” you hissed, gritting your teeth in a refrained anger. As much as you wanted to lash out to him, you knew that the chimpanzees wouldn’t take too kindly of it. You just knew it. “What the fuck is this, huh? Explain this!”

“Calm… down.”

“Don’t tell me how to calm down, you piece of shit!”

As expected, the chimpanzees started to get hostile over your equally offensive approach. Some were already approaching you, ready to tear you to bits had Jungkook didn’t raise his hand. The clamor stopped as soon as it arose, but the aura they emanated was still murderous. Peering to Jungkook, you concluded that he must be a leader or some sort.

Would it be weird if you say that you weren’t surprised in the slightest?

“[Name], you have to… know that you can’t… leave this forest… as you please,” he explained without looking at you. Oh, so now he was acting haughty, huh? Where was the shy boy who couldn’t even see you without blushing?

“So what? People come here all the time, yet they’re free to go anytime they want. Why the fuck should I be any different, huh?” You pointed a finger in his direction and glowered, trying to display an aggressive body language despite your huge difference in power. Maybe those chimpanzees would back down somewhat?

Well, no. Because you could hear them growling in the background.

“Because… you’re special.”

You narrowed your eyes, clearly not amused with his half-assed excuse. If he thought that he could convince you with that, then he would be dead wrong. “The fuck–?”

As if on cue, the chimpanzee who held [Brother’s name] captive suddenly took a chunk out of his left shoulder. You froze in shock, watching the blood spurted from the wound like in slow motion. The sound of his agonized scream echoed in the forest, when not even a single cricket dare to chirp. All witnessed the chimpanzee brutally lacerated his flesh until the bone and tendons were visible to the naked eye.

“Stop! Stop!” you finally shouted after a moment of stupefaction, the aggressive facade shattered when tears started to trickle little by little. “Stop this, please! I… I’ll do anything! Just… just, please. Don’t hurt him. Please. I’ll do anything, I swear to God.”

Jungkook’s face lit up almost instantly. However, you were too busy worrying about [Brother’s name]’s state and dread over his looming death to notice it.

If only you saw his joyous face right now, or the smug smirk that closed your and [Brother’s name] fates…

But it wasn’t as though you could compromise his safety for the sake of your selfishness, right? No matter how much you envied him, no matter how much you wanted to be like him for just a little – a moment – he was, and would always be, your little brother. Your younger sibling.

Your beloved baby brother whose existence you’d been anticipating ever since your mother announced her pregnancy.

Your beloved baby brother who saw you for the first time with those sparkling doe eyes and pouty lips.

Your beloved baby brother who held your pinky finger and beamed that cute smile of his.

And most of all, your beloved baby who always made you smile and laugh when the world seemed to turn its back against you.

It was funny how easy it was to say ‘I love you’ to your exes, any time and any day when you had never said it to your own sibling.

What kind of a big sister was you?

“Really…? Then, I guess… you don’t mind if you become mine, right? I’ve been waiting… for this moment.” Jungkook inclined his head and smiled softly as if reminiscing something. “That kid… has been irritating me to no end.”

There was only regret and anger left in your constricting chest when Jungkook moved to hug you from behind. Regret for not being able to help your brother, and anger for being so fucking useless.

But what were you, compare to a horde of chimpanzees waiting for the right moment to strike?

What were you, compare to his authority and power?

And what were you, to resist your own fate?

You let those sturdy arms wrapped themselves around your chest like a straitjacket and sobbed. Resting his chin on your shoulder, Jungkook sighed contentedly.

“I’ve been waiting… to hold you like this… ever since… you appeared. It feels… nice.” He peered towards the damned chimpanzee as though he barely remembered that they were here in the first place, and their presence ruined his ‘peaceful’ moment. Never mind the fact that he was probably the one who had ordered them to ambush you.

“Everyone,” you stopped sobbing for a moment and waited with bated breath his next demand. What was he going to say? What was he going to do? Hopefully, he would release [Brother’s name] and allow him to live. After all, you had willingly give yourself to him. Surely Jungkook wasn’t that evil, right? There must be some humanity deep inside him, however small it might be.

… Right?

“Eat him.”

The chimpanzees immediately charged at [Brother’s name] from every direction without any hesitation whatsoever. You watched in horror their sharp teeth sunk into his skin and ripped it like a starved animal. He wailed and writhed in their hold, wishing anyone to help him.

To save him.

To rescue him.

“No, no, no!” At this point, you actively struggled against Jungkook’s much stronger grip as you kicked and screamed for them to stop. For him to stop. For everything to stop. “Why are you doing this?! Stop!”

“As I said earlier… you’re special. And I can’t… let that kid… get in the way of our happiness.” Jungkook buried his face into your sweaty neck and smiled, ignoring your resistance and cries of help. “Now, we can finally be together.”

[illfoandillfie]

Seaside Rendezvous - Part 1

Request:  Can you please write a hc for going on a island vaca at a resort with your family after college finals and you meet joe (also a college student) and you two see each other a ton but you are always with your family so not much happens but flirty small talk and you both end up having a lot of sexual tension and go into one of your rooms when you’re family is out and just some smut happens?

Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of sex but generally pretty innocent

Words: 4606

A/N: So this was meant to be just a small blurb/hc thing but it turned into a full 2 chapters lmao what can I say, the idea spoke to me 🤷‍♀️. It’s also the first full Joe fic I’ve done! Set in like the 2000s I guess because I don’t know a single goddamn thing about current celebrities (not that it really matters too much)

Taglist:  @idontbelievethiss @somekindof-cheese @dtfrogertaylor   @ezmina98  @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr

In the days before you went on vacation your friends had made a lot of jokes about potential holiday romances. Everything from unsubtle innuendos to fantasies about running into pop stars who would, naturally, sweep you off your feet. You laughed at it all, rolling your eyes at the more far-fetched ideas – as if Justin Timberlake would want you. But, if you were being honest, the idea had crossed your mind the minute your Mom called to tell you she’d booked a family vacation to Hawaii. Not the Timberlake stuff, the real stuff – the potential to have a fling with a cute almost stranger, a couple of weeks spent relaxing on the beach and indulging in meaningless sex. After all, it had been a few months since you broke things off with Eddie and, while you weren’t necessarily ready to rush into anything as serious as a proper relationship, a brief holiday romance sounded almost ideal. Provided you could find anyone attractive enough. And get away from your family for long enough.  

Almost as soon as finals were done you were at the airport, boarding your flight to Hawaii where your parents and little sister had already been for a day. With thoughts of warm sand and soft kisses swirling though your head as you shuffled onto the plane, it was almost inevitable that you’d ended up fantasising about one of your fellow passengers. He’d seen you struggling to get your carryon luggage into the overhead compartment and had come to your aid, lifting the heavy suitcase with ease and offering you a sweet smile and a joke about travelling with rocks. You giggled, less because the joke was funny than that you didn’t know how else to deal with those gorgeous hazel eyes looking at you. Unfortunately, you couldn’t say much more than a brief thank you, the crowd jostling around you pushing you towards your seat, a few rows behind him. You spent the rest of the flight trying to subtly watch him, glancing at him from over the top of your magazine. It wasn’t like you had anything better to do for the duration of the flight – the magazine you’d picked up seemed painfully boring now and after finals your brain didn’t feel up to reading a whole lot anyway. Thankfully you had an aisle seat, something that had bummed you out at first but now seemed like a lucky break since he did too. He looked to be around your age, alone, reading. You took in everything of his appearance you could, the slope of his nose, the slight scruff covering his jaw, as you let yourself drift into fantasy. His hands pulling you into the airplane bathroom. His lips trailing down your throat. His fingers slipping into your shorts. He was definitely cute with a capital c, and it was nice to have someone to think about, even if this small infatuation or whatever it was wouldn’t last much longer than the flight. After all, he probably wouldn’t be staying at the same resort your family was, right? Because that would be the sort of thing you’d find in a romance novel or a cheesy movie, not real life. Real life never lined up so perfectly.

At the end of the flight you watched him get up, pull down his own luggage, and leave without so much as a backwards glance. And then he was lost in the crowd as you collected your things and followed everyone towards the arrivals lounge. The sight of your parents and younger sister, Erin, drove the cute passenger from your mind, the infatuation slipping away (as you’d known it would) as soon as you saw Erin waving at you, a big grin plastered to her face. Your mother pulled you into a tight embrace as soon as you were within reach, already asking you a hundred questions – how was school? Did the finals go okay? Whatever happened to that Eddie boy you’d brought home for Thanksgiving? Your Dad pried her off you, reminding her you needed air like everyone else, and began to lead you all out towards the car. On the drive to the resort you filled each other in on what had been happening, catching up on the months you’d missed since you last visited home.

By the time you arrived at the resort, the guy from the plane was so far from your thoughts you wouldn’t have been able to recall the colour of his eyes if you’d tried. Which is why you almost dropped your luggage when you saw him leaning against the reception desk. You mumbled something about tripping when your Mom turned to see what had happened, trying not to let your eyes flick towards him again. Your parents already had the key to their room but you’d booked one in your name as well – twin beds so your sister could join you.   “I’ll get someone to take your luggage up while you sort out your key and then we can all head down to the pool before dinner, sound like a plan?”   “Sounds great Dad, I’ll meet you guys upstairs” you nodded, willing them to leave before Airplane Boy did. If things went your way you could find out how he compared to your airborne fantasies by the end of the night.

Whatever being was watching over you must have been in a benevolent mood because twenty seconds later your family was in the elevator and your fantasy man was turning around, room key in hand, eyes going wide when he saw you. “Well isn’t this a small world,” his eyes, hazel, flicked over you as he spoke, taking in every inch of your appearance and suddenly you wished didn’t look like you’d just got off a plane. “Yeah, who’d have thought we’d both end up at one of the most popular resorts on Hawaii?” “Would have been just my luck if we hadn’t, did you manage to get that bag of rocks back down or is that why you’ve got no luggage?” “I got it down. I had to get help from someone in the cabin crew, but I got it down.” “Well I’m glad someone was there to rescue you. I’m Joe by the way.” He held out his hand. “Y/N,” you said, shaking it, setting the butterflies in your stomach fluttering. “Nice to meet you properly, Y/N.” “Likewise.” You smiled at him, batting your lashes ever so slightly. “Well, if you need any more help with your bags, I’m happy to lend a hand. Make up for not getting them back down for you.” “That’s a very sweet offer Joe, though I don’t think I properly thanked you for the help in the first place,” Oh christ did that sound too much like a line from a porno? Joe's laugh was that of someone a little flustered, cheeks turning pink. “S-sorry, I, uh, I should let you go check in now,” “Probably should do that should’t I? Maybe, I’ll see you round though?” “Yeah, I hope so. I mean, probably, right? A place like this – not many spots you could hide in,” he laughed. “Who said I’d be hiding?” You trailed your fingers over his arm as you walked past him, “See you later Joe,” He cleared his throat, “Yeah, bye Y/N.” You managed to resist the urge to turn around and see if he was watching you walk away as you headed to get your key, kind of wishing you had let your Mom talk you into getting a twin room. Erin was great, and you’d missed her, but nothing said you're not having sex like sharing a room with a twelve-year-old. It didn’t hit you until you were in the elevator that you should have found out his room number.  

“Sorry I’m late, the guy in front of me had some sort of problem. Took ages to sort out.” Definitely wasn’t flirting with anyone.   “Well you’re here now. Still got time to hit the pool so best get a wriggle on.” You and Erin exchanged rolled eyes as you opened your room. It was clean and simple, the two beds taking up most of the space. Splashes of bright green, like the cushions that sat on each bed, and the vase of flowers that stood on the side table against the far wall, were in stark contrast to the crisp white walls and sheets. A balcony gave you a picturesque view of the ocean, and ocean themed artwork hung above the TV and on half the blank walls. You ducked into the bathroom to get changed, finding more artwork on the walls and some decorative shells by the sink. It took you all of five minutes to change into your bathers and grab your sunnies. Normally you wouldn’t have bothered with the bikini for anything less than the beach, especially so late in the afternoon, but there was the chance you could run into Joe again and you wanted him to see you in something better than the old shorts and too big shirt you’d flown in. You gave your lips a swipe of gloss, blowing a kiss to your reflection before hurrying out to join your family, towel tucked under your arm.

The pool was not the single Olympic length one you’d been imagining but rather a series of oddly shaped lagoons of crystal-clear water interspersed with greenery that made everything feel full of life and offered protection from the sun when it was at its highest. It was busy but large enough and spread out enough that it wasn’t noticeable. There were people gathered around the bar, ordering bright drinks topped off with umbrellas and fresh fruit, and relaxing on the many lounge chairs, empty glasses and plates lining the tables. Your father led the way through the hoard of screaming children in the kiddie pool and their parents lazily watching them from the sides, towards a lagoon further back, finding a clear spot at the water’s edge. You’d barely sat down, dipping your toes into the cool water when Erin ran past you to cannonball into the pool, the large splash she made flying towards you. When she surfaced, she laughed at the now wet hair you’d had to push backwards out of your eyes. “Careful sweetie,” your Mom warned, already lying back on a lounge chair with her eyes closed. You kicked some water back at Erin, only half paying attention as you let your eyes wander over the people. No sign of Joe. You sighed, leaning back on your hands and closing your eyes as you tilted your head back, letting the low sun warm you while it still could. It felt nice to relax, even if there wasn’t a cute boy drooling over you. You hadn’t properly relaxed in too long to count.  

“Bikini’s a good look,” Slowly you brought your head back up, turning towards your right where Joe was suddenly sitting. “Suit’s you.” “Thanks,” you gave Joe a once over, pushing your sunglasses down your nose a little so you could take in the boardshorts and bare chest look he’d gone for, before tilting your head back to the sky again, “Could say the same for you.” “Don’t think I’d look half as good in a bikini as you do.” You could hear his stupid grin through every word and couldn’t help the laugh it inspired. “So what brings you to the pool?” he asked, shifting so he was facing you and leaning in. “Eyes forward, can’t look like we’re talking.” “Oh-kay.” He did as you asked, dropping his feet into the water and looking out to the other end of the pool, “Can I ask why we’re being so,” he stretched the word out, waving his hand in circles as he searched for the right word, “clandestine?” “Family. Mom’s over there on the lounge chair, Dad’s gone to the bar I think. And technically I’m watching my little sister swimming. Not meant to be talking to cute boys.” “Well I'm flattered you’d break whatever rules you’re breaking for me, but I don’t want to get you in trouble.” “I like the trouble. Besides it’s less rules and more that this is the first time I’ve seen my family in months. If they caught wind I wanted to ditch them for a guy I barely know...let’s just say they’d make a fuss.” “So we’re not dealing with like, an overprotective father then?” “Mum’s more of the worry, she’d get like super nosey. But Dad’d be too awkward to be mad.” “Thank God,” Joe mimed wiping sweat from his forehead. When he put his hand back down it was closer to yours, pinkie fingers brushing slightly. You could feel him chancing a glance at you but focused your gaze on Erin, watching as she tread water while talking to another girl around her age, trying to slow your heart beat before it thumped right out of your chest.   He flicked his head forward again, a shy smile still in place as his eyes came to rest on the same spot as yours, “Your sister seems sweet,” “Erin? She can be, but she also inherited Mom’s love of gossip.”   “So gotta be careful around her then,” “Definitely,” You turned your head towards him, finding it difficult to drag your eyes away from his lips once they’d settled there, your own parting slightly in anticipation of a kiss that wasn’t coming. “Sneaking around is kinda more fun though. Think you can get away tonight? Just long enough to have a drink with me?” You hadn’t expected him to be so bold as to ask you out this early on but it wasn’t an unwelcome surprise. Even so, you pretended to think it over, taking extra time as if you were running through a list of things in your mind, “Yeah, think so. Just depends how fast Erin drops off.” He threw you a questioning look. “We’re roommates.” “So I guess you’ll be wanting my room number then, since yours is off limits. It’s 308.” “Huh, I’m in 315.” “Well Miss Y/N from room 315, Hope I see you soon.” He pushed himself to his feet and walked away, leaving you with a racing heart, sweaty palms, and a pinkie finger that just wouldn’t stop tingling.  

After dinner you returned to your room, exhausted from the long day and needing to unpack properly. Erin collapsed onto her bed, flicking the TV on and settled in to watch reruns of The Simpsons while you hauled your suitcases over to the cupboard and began to put things away. The two of you talked intermittently, mostly during commercials, about what you were hoping to do on this holiday and how much fun it was going to be. She didn’t mention seeing you talk to Joe which relieved you no end, especially after you’d run into him at the restaurant where you’d had dinner. Just a brief, “Sorry, excuse me,” from him as he squeezed behind you while you waited for a table. His hand had lingered a fraction longer than necessary on your lower back, and it had taken all your willpower not to grab it and place it on your ass. And then he was gone again, lost in the crowd, while you tried to maintain a regular conversation with your parents.  

You’d just changed into your pyjama shorts and a singlet and were about to hop into bed yourself, when you heard a loud giggle from the next room over where your parents were. It was followed by your father’s voice making shushing noises through his own laughter and then, “don’t want the kids to hear us. So glad we’ve got the room to ourselves now.” You and Erin exchanged horrified looks and then you were both moving, slipping shoes on and grabbing the room key, all tiredness forgotten as you just about ran out the door. You only paused when you reached the elevator, realising you had no idea where you were going.   “Is there like a rec room or something we could go to?” You asked, scanning the list of floor numbers for any sign of a pool table or video game console. “How should I know?” “You’ve been here a whole 24 hours more than me,” “I just went where Mom and Dad went!” “Alright, Christ, no need to yell. Well, I know the bar is on flo-” “Typical,” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “All you grown ups care about is the stupid bar,” “Yeah cause you brats drive us to drink,” “You brats drive us to drink,” she imitated in a high pitched annoying whine that made you roll your eyes. “Fine, you’re gonna be a baby I’ll see if there’s a fucking nursery to drop you in. You clearly need to go beddy-byes.” Your bickering was interrupted by footsteps coming up behind you and a familiar voice calling your name. Fuck.

“Didn’t take you for one to argue in the hallways,” “Clearly you don’t have a younger sister then, Joe,” “No, but I do have an older one. She could be real bossy,” he winked at Erin who giggled. You rolled your eyes again.   “Do you know if there’s a rec room or something round here?” “At this time? What’s wrong with your room?” “Mum and Dad are fucking,” Erin chimed in before you could come up with an excuse, looking far too innocent to understand what that meant and for a moment you wondered what else she’d learnt while you were away at college, “I saw you talking to Y/N this afternoon at the pool. Are you two fucking?” “Jesus Erin, language. And stop being so fucking nosey,” “You swear all the time,” “I’m an adult, I’ve earned the right to swear,” “Why don’t we settle this argument back at my room? There’s a Simpson’s marathon on which I’m sure... Sorry didn’t catch this little angel’s name,” Smooth. “Erin,” the so-called angel piped up, sticking out her hand and grinning.   “Which I’m sure Erin would enjoy,” Joe finished as he bent down and shook her hand, “Nice to meet you.” Your eye muscles sure were getting a workout tonight. But Erin seemed pleased with the turn of events so you accepted. Better than getting lost on the way to a rec room that may not even exist. Plus it helped that as Joe stood up he subtly mentioned the bottle of vodka he had stashed in his suitcase.

Joe’s room looked much the same as yours, though he had different art and instead of twin beds, one king sized. “Alright, there you go Missy,” he said to Erin as he handed her the remote control to the TV, “Knock yourself out,” “Please,” you mumbled as Erin raced into the room, kicking her shoes off as she went and then bounced into the middle of the bed. Joe caught you rolling your eyes again. “You do that a lot y’know,” “Only when I’m babysitting. I love her to death but Christ,” If badmouthing your sister was going to earn you another laugh from Joe you could have gone all night. Instead you reigned yourself in, leaning against the doorframe as you watched him dig through his luggage. Finally he pulled out the bottle he’d been searching for, holding it up triumphantly. “D’you wanna sit on the balcony?” “Sounds great,” you followed him out, dodging Erin’s annoyed grunts as you moved in front of the TV. “Not gonna get too cold out here in those adorable PJs? Very short,” Joe said as he gently shut the door behind you. “I think I’ll be fine. But I’ll let you know if I need warming up.” He laughed as he slid down the door until he was sitting on the floor, patting the spot beside him. You glanced at the unused chairs but joined him anyway, stretching your legs out in front of you as he opened the bottle of vodka.   “I don’t have any glasses so I hope you don’t mind sharing the bottle,” “Who brings a full bottle of vodka and no cups?” “A college student?” “Fair enough,” “Ladies first,” He passed the bottle over and you took a large swig, hissing a little as the alcohol burned your throat. “You were good with her, before,” you passed the bottle back to Joe, tilting your head to indicate Erin. “Yeah well, don’t just have an older sister, got a younger brother too. Not quite the age gap though.” “She was a bit of...a surprise. But your family isn’t here too?” “Nah, came on my own. Reward for getting through another fuckin year.” “Cheers to that,” you peaked over your shoulder but Erin was completely entranced by the TV. “So you’re parents really just went for it?” “Urgh, god don’t remind me. That’s what the alcohol’s for. Completely unfair that they get to haunt us with nightmares for the rest of our lives and I can’t get a second away from my baby sister.” “You could always sneak away.” “What like, fake being sick?” “God no, too risky. Have you never watched a movie before? Ferris Bueller ringin’ any bells?” “Alright, calm down,” you laughed, “it was just a suggestion,” “Fake being sick,” he scoffed, taking another sip of vodka, “To make it believable you’d have to start exhibiting signs the night before. Then day of you have to give yourself a temperature and make yourself sneeze or cough or throw up a lot. And then what about Erin? She’s not gonna catch whatever mysterious illness you get that clears up in 24 hours. And you can only use it once.” “Jesus Christ. You really have thought about this.” “I got a lot of practice as a kid,” he said with a shrug, “If one of us was off from school sick, all of us were off from school sick.” “Okay smartguy, what do you suggest I do instead?” “Easy. Go with them on whatever they’re doing. Relaxing on the beach, golf course, whatever. Then a few hours in say you need to stretch your legs or claim to have an appointment with the masseuse or something but say you’ll meet up with them for lunch or dinner even. And then you come back here.” “You’re very confident that I’d visit you in my family free hours,” “You called me cute, think I can afford to be confident.” “Touché.”  

It was another few hours before you stood to leave, Joe having stashed the bottle of vodka away long ago, before you had the chance to get completely wasted. He’d told you that you’d thank him tomorrow when you didn’t wake up with a hangover but the part of your brain that remembered why you’d wanted a drink so bad didn’t fully believe him. You’d let him take the bottle with a promise that you could help finish it another night. As the hours ticked by he’d slowly inched closer to you, eventually wrapping his arm around you as you looked up at the partially obscured stars. You encouraged him by claiming you were getting chilly. Erin had dropped off within the first hour, though you were still cautious in case she woke up. Still you were happy to wedge yourself into his side, dropping your head onto his shoulder as you talked about whatever crossed your minds. You’d been even happier to let him kiss you, softly, breaking apart much too soon as Erin snorted in her sleep. That had been your cue to leave, even though your lips still buzzed with the desire for more.   “Sorry,” you said quietly, not quite pulling away from him. “No it’s fine, I don’t wanna get caught out by her either. She’s a feisty little thing,” “The word you’re looking for is nosey but yeah,” “Wouldn’t want her announcing anything to the whole resort,” “Not when sneaking around is kinda more fun,” You both chuckled, trying to keep your voices low as you re-entered Joe’s room. “D’you want me to carry her back to your room?” He offered with all the kindness you’d come to expect from him. “Sure your skinny little twig arms can handle it?” “I lifted your suitcase of paperweights didn’t I. Plus, it’s just up the hall.” “Thought it was a suitcase of rocks.” “Tomato, tomatoe. Do you want the help or not?” “Thanks,” He grunted slightly as he lifted her, one arm under her knees and the other under her back, pretending to drop her a little which had you stifling laughter and shaking your head as you lead the way out of his room.  

The walk back to your room was much too short, though Joe probably would have said different under the weight of your dead-to-the-world sister. You put your finger to your lips as you opened the door and held it. He deposited your sister on her bed as gently as possible, going the extra mile to tuck her in under the blankets she’d so hastily thrown to the side earlier. All was quiet in the room next door and you breathed a sigh of relief as Joe came back out into the hallway. He stood close, the extra inches he had on you much more noticeable now than when you’d been sitting on his balcony. “So, you’ll try to get away then?” Joe bit his lip nervously which only served to make him look even cuter, making you want him more. “Yeah, soon as I can.” “Tomorrow maybe?” “Coming across a little desperate Joey,” you teased, poking him in the chest, “Besides think Mom mentioned something about doing a tour of the island tomorrow, not sure I could get away. But soon, promise.” “I’m gonna hold you to that, Y/N,” “Of course,” There was a brief pause, Joe rubbing the palm of one hand with the other’s thumb as his eyes darted over your head to your sleeping sister and then to the door of your parent’s room. “Fuck it,” he said and then he was leaning in to kiss you again. It started as light and soft as the first attempt back at his room had, almost chaste, but when no third-wheeling sibling or grumpy parent interrupted it changed. His hands moved further around your back, pulling you as close to him as he could. You wobbled slightly as your balance shifted but he held you steady while you wrapped your arms around his neck, tongues meeting with the urgency only an imminent interruption could bring. You lost track of how long you were intertwined, all other thoughts driven from your mind until he pulled back. “Been thinking about that since you helped me on the plane,” you muttered softly, trailing your hand down over his cheek, not wanting to lose contact yet. “How did I do?” His hands hadn't left you either.   “Oh, uh r-really good,” you nodded rapidly. Joe laughed again, “Don’t think I’ve seen you this lost for words before,” You wanted to say something witty in response, but your mind was still whirling with the kiss so all you could manage was a, “spose not,” and a small giggle. Slowly you came back to your senses, realising where you were. “I should -,” you pointed at your room with your thumb, though it was half hearted. “Yeah,” He caught your lips with his once more, briefly, before bidding you goodnight and disappearing down the hall leaving you, once again, wishing you had a room to yourself so you could at least masturbate in peace.

[niiwa-angel]

Late At Night

// Authors Note. mentions of child abuse, bed wetting, and hospitalization, if this offends you this story isn’t for you. also I’m not law major nor a doctor so take any medical or legal things in here with a grain of salt. This story also has a same sex couple, if this is going to make you scream at me, kindly piss off. requests and feed back are always welcome.// 

The house was quiet, the street outside ethereally silent except for the distant sounds of the busy city still wide awake despite the hour, somewhere between very late or very early and entirely dependent on who was asked. A lone car driving on the empty suburban street broke the silence as the driver slowly took the curve, watching for any neighborhood pets that may be patrolling the area. While the outside was quiet, the inside of the car certainly wasn’t, as the driver’s music was turned up to fifteen while Queens “We Will Rock You” blasted from the speakers of the small car. Hal Jordan mouthed along to the lyrics of his favorite song, removing a hand from the wheel to massage his left eye as he slowly backed into his driveway, shutting the music off before opening the door. “The last thing I want is to wake the neighborhood.” He muttered to himself, pulling his military bag out from its place in the backseat. He knew that Ms. Earwood across the street would lecture him for hours if he were to let the sound of his music escape the confines of the car, her white hair pulled into a severe bun and her hobbled gait always reminded Hal of the old lady who always protected tweedy bird in looney tunes, is that woman was a busy body who found his “lifestyle” a detriment to society as a whole. Hal flung his bag over his shoulder while he fumbled with his keys, finally finding the one that opened the front door and pushing his way into the dark entryway, careful not to trip on the shoes littering the floor.

“I thought I told Wally to keep his shoes in the closet.” he whispered to himself with a quiet chuckle as he set his bag on the floor near the door. ‘I’ll fix that at a decent hour, right now I need food, a shower and my bed!’ he thought, making his way to the kitchen. There wasn’t much in the fridge, which wasn’t much of a surprise with two speedsters with accelerated metabolism living in the house and one of them was only eight, so he was always hungry. ‘And a real pain to keep up with.’ He mused, remembering how many times he almost lost his adopted nephew at various public locations, but he managed to find a bowl of pasta, which he tossed in the microwave and grabbed a glass of water to wait for the food to be warm. As an afterthought, he decided to check on the sleeping patrons in the house, heading to the master bedroom first, pushing the door forward a little to peek in at the disheveled mess of blond hair on the pillow before moving to the red door down the hall. Hal made sure to step lightly near his nephews room, Wally was a very light sleeper, an unfortunate left over from his time in his parents care. Hal didn’t know entirely what went down in that house only that his husband had gotten a call from his sister, Iris, that Wally was in the hospital and the doctors needed his closest relatives there.

//Flash Back//

He had thrown together an overnight bag for himself and Barry before driving the hour long trip to the hospital in Kansas City from Central in about 45 minutes, probably breaking every traffic law in the state to get to the little boy that meant to such to both men. Hal had been expecting a car accident, or a random kitchen disaster that had put the whole family in the hospital, instead they saw little Wally, dwarfed by the large hospital bed, in a medically induced coma to try and reduce the swelling in his brain from a blow to the head from his own father. It had been a hard day until the doctors brought Wally out of the coma, and then Barry and Iris had to have a serious discussion about who would take care of Wally, as no one was letting their sweet, kind hearted nephew go into the harsh treatment that is the American Foster Care system, Iris stressed that because of her job, she would be an unreliable guardian, so it was Barry and Hal who had adopted Wally into their home. Currently, Rudolf West was serving a fifteen year battery and assault charge as well as a twenty year attempted murder, which their lawyer had gotten tacked on and was able to convince the jury of, their lawyer was an anonymous gift from a not so local bat, as well as making sure that Hal and Barry won the custody case.

It had taken months to get Wally to adjust to their home, random things seemed to set him off into a panic, he wouldn’t eat unless given expressed permission even if the food was placed right in front of him, and any time either Hal or Barry raised their voices even just in a joking conversation the boy would start to get twitchy. After speaking to a specialist, they learned that these were likely knee jerk reactions that had probably once been the difference between getting hit and being safe, and given that those were his only tools he knew how to use, he was still using them, so Hal and Barry had to learn to look a little closer to see what spooked their nephew. For Barry, it was easier, he looked closely at things for a living, and soon recognized that Wally reacted to hand expressions, raised voices and the garage door opening and had started to work on reconditioning these things from bad to good.

Hal on the other hand, had some difficulty, it had often seemed like Wally had liked Barry better then him. It wasn’t until he noticed that there were some similarities between them that to an adult might not seem like much, but to a child were crucial. Hal liked to have a beer when he came home, Wally’s dad had often been drinking before or during a beating, Hal hooked his right thumb in his belt as his comfortable standing position, Wally’s dad stood like that before using his belt as a weapon, Hal raised his hands when he was passionate about what he was talking about, Wally’s dad raised his hands to do harm. It had taken a lot of time and patience before Wally had even spoken above a whisper to his uncles. The first time Wally asked to be held had been eight and a half months into living with them and Hal had let Wally see his tears, let him see how it wasn’t shameful to show emotions, and had sat with Wally in his arms for a solid hour, just holding him to his chest, tucked firmly under his chin.

//Back to Present//

The nest of red hair mixed well with the bright red of the room, Hal could see that Wally was curled onto his side, facing away from the door and knew that his nephew likely had his batman plushy tucked into his arm. With a soft smile, Hal closed the door and went back downstairs to eat his pasta. Fifteen minutes later, Hal made his way up the stairs and was about to push his way into the master bedroom when he saw a light coming from down the hall. Slowly making his way to the door from which it was coming from, Hal could make out soft sobs from behind it, knocking gently, he heard a scared gasp and a quiet “yes.” Hal slowly opened the door to see Wally sitting up, tears streaming down his face and his bedside lamp turned on, making his way over to the young boy’s bed. “Hey Hot-Rod.” He whispered, taking a seat on the edge of the foot of the bed. Wally bit his lip. “Hey Uncle Hal. I uh, I didn’t know you were home.” “I wasn’t till about half an hour ago.” “Oh.” Wally mused, looking down at his hands. Hal knew that look, it was the “I’m really uncomfortable and would like you to either skip to the point or leave me alone” face. Deciding on the primary, Hal bit the bullet. “Why are you awake Hot-Rod?” he asked, making sure to look authoritative but not intimidating. Wally squirmed a little and the muttered. “I, I had a bad dream.” “What about?’ Hal asked, despite having a pretty good idea what about. “About dad, he was yelling,” Wally sobbed, hiccuping slightly, “He was saying I was a, a mis- mistake. And that no one would ever want me, and that I’m a bad kid!”

Hal inhaled deeply, he wanted to rant, to tell his kid that his father was a piece of shit alcoholic whose brain was too destroyed by his own habits to have an intelligent thought. But that wouldn’t help Wally, so instead he put his hand on his boy’s shoulder, ensuring he had his full attention. “Listen to me Wallace West, you are not unwanted. You’re Uncle Barry and I love you so, so much. It would break our hearts if we ever lost you. And you may make mistakes from time to time, but that does not make you a bad kid, everyone makes mistakes, very few of them make people unlovable.” Hal really wished that this conversation were happening at a better hour because his brain was basically pudding, but the message seemed to get through to Wally because the kid nodded.

“Anything else on your mind squirt? Anything you need off your chest?” Hal pushed, and instantly Wally went pale and started to stammer.

“Promise you won’t be mad?” he asked, knowing on his lip again.

“I promise kiddo.” Wally seemed to relax a little and took a little breath.

“I, I wet the bed. I’m really sorry Uncle Hal, it was an accident, I won’t do it again, I pro-“ Hal raised a hand to cut off Wally’s rambling.

“It’s alright love, it was an accident, it happens to everyone at some point. Let’s get you cleaned up okay?” Wally nodded, and Hal slipped his hands under Wally’s arms, hoisting him up onto his hip, before grabbing a fresh pair of pajamas from his drawers. Hal took Wally to the bathroom and drew him a small bath, just around three inches of warm water.

“Okay kid, if you get yourself cleaned up, I’ll get your sheets in the washer and they should be okay for tomorrow, Okay?” Hal asked, receiving a small nod from the young redhead.

Hal quickly stripped the bed, throwing everything into the washing machine and setting a timer for it before returning to the bathroom. He knocked to announce himself, and slowly stepped in. Wally was wrapped in a fluffy towel on the floor, eyes half shut and his head drooping, Hal laughed and went over to support him

. “Hey Hot-Rod. Let’s just get you into some PJ’s and then you can sleep in okay?” He got a small nod in return, and helped dry the child off and step into some warm Flash pajamas. Scooping Wally up, he carried him to the master bedroom, which dismayed Wally a bit.

“But my room is over there.” He slurred, his arm moving lazily to point to his door. Hal smiled and rubbed his back. “I know kiddo, but it’s late and I really don’t want to have to make a bed, so I was thinking we could just have a sleep over. Alright?” Hal didn’t get a verbal response, just Wally curling closer to him, which he took as a yes. Hal turned to use his back to push open the bedroom door, quietly walking to the bed and drawing the covers back and placing Wally against Barry, before tucking both of them in and turning to the on suite bathroom. “Where are you going?” Wally rasped from his place in the bed, big green eyes peeking out from the pearly comforter. “I just gotta shower and change Hot-Rod, then I’ll be right there.” Wally nodded and laid his head down, while Hal went to take a shower.

//Ten minutes Later//

Hal exited the bathroom while shaking out his damp hair, he had changed from his civvies into a pair of boxer shorts. Looking into his bed he almost laughed out loud at the sight of Wally, curled into Barry’s arms, while Barry had a protective hand on the back of Wally’s head. Hal carefully slipped into the covers just as Barry opened his eyes. “Hey.” “Hey yourself.” Hal whispered. “There’s a Wally I our bed.” Barry teased, bringing the hand that wasn’t on Wally’s head over the boy to latch onto Hal’s. “There is a Wally in out bed.” Hal agreed, pulling his lover and their kid closer to him, tucking Wally beneath his chin, and touching his forehead with Barry’s. “Is he okay?” Barry whispered, his breath teasing the red locks of hair in front of him. “He will be Love, it’ll take some time, but he’ll be okay.” Hal pressed a kiss to the top of Wally’s head and pressed another to Barry’s forehead, wrapping his arms around them and hugging them tight, falling asleep to the sound of the Scarlet Speedster and his young nephews breathing. The entire family slept on. 

[ms31x129]

The end is here Chapter 7! I went simple with this DJ Jackson/William was shaped by 2 couples who loved him. That’s at the heart of this incredible story, imho.  @cultureisdarkbeer @monikafilefan @today-in-fic

Chapter 1 - Courage to Jump Tumblr LINK  AO3 it is HERE.

Chapter 2: Luck of the Irish Tumblr LINK or AO3 it is HERE.

Chapter 3: Graffiti of the Heart Tumblr LINK or AO3 HERE.

Chapter 4: Leave Your Demons At The Door Tumblr LINK or AO3 HERE.

Chapter 5: Truth Is the Pain Inside Our Hearts Tumblr LINK or AO3 HERE.

Chapter 6: Final Destination Tumblr LINK or AO3 HERE. 

Chapter 7: Full Circle <<AO3 Link or if you like Tumblr you know the drill clickity-click on the Keep Reading link below. 

{Summary:

Jackson’s journey has come full circle, but what happens before it finally comes to an end?}

“Everything has a way of coming full circle. It takes patience and perseverance to see a dream through… to close that circle. Because some dreams, like some circles, can be much bigger than others.” -Karen Dale Trask

The fresh spring breeze tousled Jackson’s unruly hair. It either frizzed or flopped around his cowlick and left him consistently smoothing it down more often than not. He couldn’t help but wonder who he’d gotten that trait from: Mulder or Dana? Would he call her Dana or Mother or… Mom? Not that. He didn’t think he could ever find it in his heart to call anyone Mom again.

Jackson couldn’t help but think back to the moment he first spoke face to face with his birth mother. After hearing her heartfelt confession in the morgue, the one that made his gut tumble to his toes, he made a silent promise that he would talk to her at some point in the future. He just had no idea that the chance to make good on that promise would present itself so soon after he made it. He had just endured the worst day of his life after witnessing his parents lying lifeless on the floor covered in blood, and then hearing the words of a mother he never thought he’d meet left him reeling. Using Ghouli for selfish reasons had him feeling overwhelming guilt; yet seeing her and Mulder, under the guise of an illusion at that off-the-beaten-path gas station, had softened the ironclad armor he was trying so hard to construct around his heart...

The bell attached to the gas station door chimed and a tall man walked in.

“Can I get $40 on the SUV out there, please?” Jackson could see the attendant in his peripheral ringing the guy up as he popped a sunflower seed in his mouth. He watched the man turn to him and nod up at the TV where the Pirates and Nats were tied in the bottom of the 4th inning.

“You follow baseball?” His voice was low and smooth in a familiar sort of way that flowed over Jackson with ease.

Feeling a wave of goosebumps spike across his arms, he glanced over inside his illusion and directly locked eyes with the man his birth mother had embraced in the morgue: Fox Mulder.

Slowly nodding, Jackson answered, “I’m a Yankee’s fan myself.”

“Me, too!”

“Too bad I’m leaving town. Maybe, we could have caught a game,” Jackson sighed, confused that he actually meant it.

Mulder shrugged and scoffed at the pop fly to the pitcher's mound. “Yeah, maybe.”

“I bet a G-man can get good seats.” He nudged Mulder’s arm and pointed to the exposed badge sticking out of his jacket pocket.

Mulder narrowed his eyes at Jackson, the same ones he saw in the mirror every day. “Good eye.”

He huffed. “Gotta have one nowadays.”

Mulder smirked, nodding in agreement, and a flicker of sadness washed over his face as the screen focused in on a father and son laughing as they cheered on their team. “Years ago, I had the hope of taking my own son to a game.”

A knot began to form in Jackson’s throat. He cleared it and decided to leave a little something for the obvious emotionally worn-down man standing nearly shoulder to shoulder with him. “Well, maybe one day you can. Don’t give up.”

The smell of baked goods caught his attention and the memory of his first encounter with his birth father faded. He ventured over to the small mom-and-pop shop called “Little Virginia’s Bakery and Novelty Shop” with a renewed sense of purpose and food on the brain.

“Perfect!” His empty stomach rumbled in agreement.

For being an out-of-the-way shop, the little place held a few farmers, a family of three, and an elderly couple tucked away in the back. The sweet scent of cinnamon and sugar filled the air and Jackson’s mouth watered instantly.

“Hi there!” The silver haired woman stood from her corner table to greet him. “Welcome to Little Virginia’s. Hungry?” Her brown eyes trailed him from head to toe, assessing his dirty, worn jeans, well-loved jacket, and mussed hair. Jackson was sure he would hear a grandmother-like lecture about taking good care of himself; one he knew he’d never heard from one of his own. But, instead, she smiled and nodded to the bakery case. “How about I get you a nice carb-filled breakfast while you take a look around the place? Can’t help but assume you just might like something you see.” She pointed to the baseball on his shirt from his Freshman year travel league team—which he was reluctantly kicked off of for skipping too many practices.

“Uh, sure, okay. Thanks,” he stammered, unsure of what she meant by that yet followed her gaze to the wall behind him. Gasping, he wandered over to the large shelving unit filled with snow globes. “Wow!”

The wall was covered with a wide array of different sized globes. Each one was unique in design and meaning. Just like the collection back in his room that he’d never see again, he thought bitterly. He scanned each shelf from top to bottom, searching for one that called to him. It was something that he and his mom used to do on family vacations when they visited tourist shops.

Jackson slowed his mind and chose not to fight against the happier memory tickling at his brain of his very first snow globe that sparked not only the start of his collection, but his interest in all things cryptid...

“Jackson? There you are! I’ve been looking for you,” his mom chastised, grabbing his arm and kneading it between her fingers. “You wandered off again and left me wondering where my son’s imagination had decided to lead him this time.”

He sighed, hoping he wouldn’t be grounded later because of the strong attraction to what was staring him in the face at the moment. “Sorry, I just saw this and liked it.”

With a ruffle of his thick hair that dipped along his forehead, his mom chucked. “That certainly is an… interesting snow globe.” Jackson shook it and the white, glittery flecks swirled like a storm. “Why this one? It doesn’t seem to fit your space-themed bedroom.”

A grin spread across his chocolate stained mouth. “Oh, it does, Mom. Just like with outer space, there’s mystery behind the existence of Sasquatch. You know, guesses...”

She shook her head. “Theories, you mean,” she corrected, “just like with space. Jackson, you are too smart for your own good, you know that?”

His mom teased yet it was the truth; and he knew it. He knew a lot of things he wished he didn’t. “Yeah, I do.”

“Hey, kid!” A deep voice snapped Jackson’s eyes open and back to the shop. He stared at a man through one of the large glass globes and nearly laughed at the distorted fun house image he saw looking back. “You alright?”

“Yeah, uh yes, I’m fine,” he said, quoting his usual line when anyone asked how he was. “Just checking these out. I used to collect them, actually.” He wasn’t sure why he was sharing personal information with a stranger. He’d never done that before, but the kindness in the man’s eyes reminded him of his dad.

“Used to?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, just haven’t added to my old collection in a few years.”

“Well,” the man started as he adjusted his hat, “looks to me like you’re ready to start a new one.” Jackson raised a brow and watched as the man went and sat back down in his chair with a smirk peeking out from his mustache.

As Jackson continued to look through the mass of watery globes, he considered that the old man was right. Starting something new was exactly what he was hoping to accomplish. Just then, a ray of sunlight struck the glass on a small, circular one out of the corner of his eye. It sat on the shelf nestled in a row of sports themed snow globes. The one he felt compelled to touch left him baffled at the significant meaning. If he weren’t fully aware of the pain-free feeling in his skull, he might think the image inside the globe was a snapshot of a future vision.

Holding it up into the light, the tiny people inside painted an exact picture of a life that Jackson thought he was never meant to have.

A man stood on the pitchers mound, arm wound back in an arc, ready to let loose a curveball with the way his fingers were gripped around the seams. The batter was a boy with brown hair who leaned over the plate, wooden bat cocked back and poised in the air. There was a woman sitting on a grassy hill near the boy, strands of her red-gold hair were fisted within a tiny infants grasp cradled in her arms. In that moment, Jackson actually believed that fate was calling.

Over an hour later, Jackson had made it to the desolate Wallis road, his belly full and spirits lifted, but a part of his heart remained heavy. Nature called, so he found a tree among the weeds to relieve himself. As he zipped back up, in the far distance he noticed the roof of the house, and reality punched him square in the solar plexus. Would the DoD pick up his trail? By taking these next steps, did it place them all in danger? Maybe they had moved on and were a happy family without him—complete and worry free.

Maybe, his trek should end where he stood.

His thumb rubbed the glass auricle buried deep in his jacket pocket; the crinkled letter folded next to it worn by years, travel, and his own perspiration poked at the back of his hand. Both of them provided reassurance. Perhaps, another link from the past held an answer along with some courage. There was still one line left to read after all. Carefully, with trembling fingers he unfolded the paper and the heart-wrenching words flowed freely from his lips.

“And in that moment, you will be blessed… and stricken… for the truest truths are what hold us together, or keep us painfully, desperately apart .”

An explosion of images seared through his brain in a rapid fire of painful impulses, like an electrical storm burning across his neurons. He was assaulted by her face, her voice, her scent... It was then that Jackson refocused, the revelation that he had returned to a monumental moment in the past—a crucial turning point, as he began to walk his mother’s path one last time.

March 22, 2002

Her hands shook as she closed the door and entered her dark, silent apartment. She tore her purse, shoes, and jacket off in the entryway and let them fall carelessly to the floor. Her heart beat wildly within her chest as intense anxiety buzzed through her body, like a saw blade humming through flesh. Pushing it away yet again, she stumbled through the dim hallway, stopping abruptly as she came to a cracked open door.

She gasped, taking in the sight of the empty crib. Ignoring the voice in her head that Jackson could hear screaming for her to run—to hide and shut it all away, she allowed her fingertips to dance along the cool wooden bed where her son should lay dreaming. With a trembling chin, she reached in and grabbed his cream blanket, the one her mother had knitted for him when she hadn’t yet known to use pink or blue.

“Mom…” Jesus, her mother will never understand; she might always blame her for searching for answers to obscure questions when her miracle was held within her arms. She slammed her eyes shut as the memory of her mother’s advice played out behind her lids for Jackson to witness…

February 18, 2002

Sliding her arms into her jacket as she prepared to leave, she said, “Mom, it’s important. I wouldn’t go if it weren’t.”

Frustrated, her mother shook her head and clutched baby William tighter against her hip. “Yes, I know, Dana. You say it’s about getting answers.”

Shaking her head, she sighed and her eyes flicked to her son playing with his grandmother’s sweater, blissfully unaware of his role in life. “Answers about William, Mom.”

“I know you’re worried about him—that there are things about him that you just can’t explain. But, even if you were to get those answers, what would it change?”

With emotions flaring, her voice trembled as she tried to explain in the simplest way possible. “Mom, he’s my child.”

Refusing to back down and stay silent, she pleaded with her daughter to listen. “And you have to love him and raise him in spite of everything.” Stepping closer, her mother’s tone softened as her hazel eyes met watery blue. “Dana, God has given you a miracle. A child that wasn’t supposed to be.” Gazing down at her grandson with pride, she offered, “Maybe, it’s not to question—just to be taken as a matter of faith.”

Feeling lost and alone with horrible thoughts swirling of what secrets may be out there regarding her son, she stared at her mother’s worried expression and told her the truth. “Mom, I can’t take this on faith. I need to know,” she explained, soothing William’s soft, fuzzy hair, wishing she could fully trust what her heart was telling her. “I need to know if it’s really God I have to thank...”

Jackson felt his mother stiffen as her own memory melted away. Her eyes snapped open yet the residual turmoil of her mother’s words remained entwined like barbed wire within her chest.

“Oh, Mom...” she whispered and bit her lip until it hurt almost as much as her heart.

She inhaled a deep breath, her knees buckling at the strong baby scent and that’s when she saw it: her own withdrawn, broken reflection in the small mirror hung above the rocking chair. How could she look herself in the mirror ever again and not see someone who had simply given up, who didn’t have the courage to stand by her son and fight to the death to protect him? His father would have if he were here. Yet, she sent him away to keep their son safe, and now she was left with nothing.

Guttural cries finally burst free from her mouth, the awful feeling of guilt and sadness overwhelmed her. Pressing the scent of their baby boy to her face, she screamed into the yarn of the blanket as her emotions warred on. Her mother: a God-fearing woman who forgives as easily as she loves, would never forget what her daughter had done here tonight.

Emptiness echoed in the silence, fatigue pulled at the weariness beneath her lids as her fingers ran along the soft stitching connecting the satin to the plush cotton. Her body felt hollow, like a shell that held nothing but an ocean of tears and shards of glass wedged between her soul and her heart.

It hurt to be in her son’s room where he slept and played and nursed and listened to her terrible singing and… it hurt to breathe. “Oh God, Mulder, please forgive me.”  

A heavy layer of sorrow covered her chest, suffocating her. The reality of her decision surrounded her with every shallow breath she took. “Mulder, I’m so sorry,” she whimpered, fiery tears burning her down the column of her throat. “Our truest truth… our son, he’s held us together and now… and now desperately apart.”

No matter if her choice was right or not, William was their son: a living breathing product of their everlasting love, their miracle… and now he was gone. No matter her constant worry of the safety and origin of the miracle she held within her arms every day—had loved unconditionally the moment she knew he existed; she had willingly given away a part of her and Mulder’s love. A love so strong that it conquered the impossible and produced a wondrous gift. In that very moment, she knew she would carry this heaviness in her heart until the day she died. And Jackson felt her terrible thought that just maybe, she deserved to.

He felt his mother slipping away from his grasp as she road the roaring tide of her emotions. She and her gut-wrenching sobs were fading, drifting off into darkness where he knew she would rebuild her fortress of stoicism in order to survive, dimming the remaining light in her life as the vision did the same for him.

Time stretched like a rubber band connecting the past to the present. Jackson separated achingly slow from his mother’s grief with images fading into the back of his mind as his own anguish took hold.

“Ah, dammit!” The sheer agony that had coursed through her veins was enough for Jackson to still taste the metallic remnants of blood from her gnawed bottom lip within his own mouth. The upheaval of emotional static was in his head, shredding it from the inside—the side effects of constant fears and self-doubt. The selfless suffering felt from an unconditional love took away a piece of him as it took from her, unraveling the purity in his soul.

He felt his chin tremble uncontrollably, like it did when he was nine and was teased on the playground for being “weird.” He felt it: the last remaining bricks of the wall that stood to protect and uphold his heart crumbled, leaving him bare and exposed. The flashback sucked the breath from his chest and he folded, collapsing into himself and driving him to his knees.

Squinting up at the sun with a sheen of sweat across his brow, he clenched his fists, blanching his knuckles as nails dug deeply into the palms of his hands. Slamming them to the ground, Jackson screamed. The sound piercing the early afternoon sky like an air raid siren, unleashing the remaining demons from the scars that had refused to heal. The agony left his lungs with the strength of a gale force wind, begging the sun for its rays of light to soothe away the darkness. The torment felt as though it ripped his muscles, bones, and flesh to shreds. His dark lashes brimmed heavy with tears and the dam burst when his emotions surged against it. Crystal beads streamed from his deep blue eyes as heaving sobs tore at his throat and wracked his chest—the weight of his grief pressing him into the ground where he knelt.

Within the last year, he had cried all of three times: the night of his parent’s death, once out of sheer loneliness, and now from the effects of this letter. These words from his mother had saved him from the monster, the one indifferent to suffering and sorrow, and got him to feel.

Jackson dug into the dirt with the balls of his feet and pushed off, taking mighty strides as he sprinted before even aware of the conscious decision. His bag bounced along his shoulders, his long dark colored locks whipping back and forth behind him as he leapt large rocks and dodged roots. Charged with adrenaline surging through his veins, he had to keep running forward; nothing would stop him now. As quick as his long legs could carry him, his shoes hammered the hard earth that mimicked the pounding in his chest. The smell of bark and pine invaded his nostrils, his burning lungs begging for air, but Jackson embraced the pain. His shirt clung to his form, damp with sweat and tears and he ran, feeling her presence like he could feel her mind. He finally let down the mental barrier he had held up against reaching out and into her mind, liberating him.

All the signs, all the things leading him to reach this very path was fate; it had intervened and he knew now—felt it now… William needed to come home.

Now, the boy who had always felt split in two was whole. Now, he was finally fine . He was free.

By the time he reached the gated driveway to the property, the pain had dissipated as hope and truth dominated. One hand rested on the cold iron; his limbs on fire as he panted, trying to catch his breath. The well-worn house stood taller now—a simple A-frame with a couple dormers and extended front porch. The fence surrounding the property consisted of many shades of weathered wood, time and sunlight painting it several grayish and brownish hues. Beyond its confines stood a patchwork quilt of several grasses and wildflowers, sewn together by a dusty road. For a glimmer of a moment, he envisioned a little sister running through the rolling grass, chasing a dog to hug and cuddle, the puppy stealing licks while they laughed in amusement and drank tea on the front porch.

Jackson pulled open the heavy gate and stepped onto the familiar ground his feet had yet to tread. A deep breath calmed his rising nerves, as did walking through the tall wheat grass swaying in the open breeze. It all reminded him of his childhood farm and working the fields with his dad.

The land here grew wilder than his dad would allow, although so did he and, he suspected, so did the pair that occupied that house. He continued on, the rhododendrons now in full bloom overpowered the nearby flowers. They greeted his senses and he became more engrossed, living in the moment like he had never experienced before. This was real. His futuristic visions foreshadowed death and hellfire, reeking of ash and rot. But here, only birds sang and thick, green foliage swayed with the breeze, covering the sound of distant traffic.

For so long his thoughts never stopped spinning, visions of pasts and futures, the constant questioning of himself was nothing but a furnace of pain hidden beneath a forced smile and occasional happiness. All of that stood silent now. For the first time in his life there were no thoughts, only instincts. Ones that he trusted. So he continued walking along the gravely dirt driveway, up the worn steps to stand at their faithful door.

Somehow it all made sense, that the flashback visions would take him back to where this all began, bringing him full circle to find the truth; taking him back to the night where his old life had ended and was given a new one. The night William M. Scully became Jackson Van de Kamp. He was both Jackson and William, he realized: Chimera born—one boy with two sets of parents who loved him. One remarkable teen with a remarkable past standing on the porch of an unremarkable house, hoping to share a future with those who sacrificed everything for him.

Jackson had navigated his way through his birth mother’s past and his own—effectively finding himself during a time when he was truly lost. And, now, the son of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully would finally cross their threshold as his whole self, an open book written in a language only they could fully understand.

A flutter of nervousness began to churn in his gut. He shut his eyes, inhaling a deep breath and counted to ten, recalling what his dad had told him to do when he felt this way. Those familiar words of wisdom embraced him, giving him the push he needed to let loose three confident knocks to the squeaky screen door. Footfalls and muffled voices could be heard through the oak door and his heart pounded through his shirt.

A smile pulled at Jackson’s lips when he realized that he was standing inches from the proverbial edge of what was his leap of faith for a new beginning, completely unafraid and committed to jump.

[yolo-contendre]

Billy saves Steve for once

At some point, Steve’s legs stopped working. Probably around the same time he couldn’t feel his face. Which was the same time he found himself slumped outside the master bedroom of Brett Mader’s house. A rising chorus of frenzied voices bounced through his head without sticking.

Then a flashing blue glow roamed across the wall, filtering in through the hall window. The shouts got louder. He thought he heard Brett say something about the backyard. Experimentally, he wiggled his foot.

People rushed past him and he wiggled his other foot. This one was harder. Then someone tripped over him. “Motherfucker,” they muttered before noticing Steve. Then: “Shit, that you Harrington?”

Steve’s head lolled. He directed (with some hardship) his stare up to Billy Hargrove, whose face was caught between the spray of flashing blue light and the dark shadows of an even darker hall.

“Yep. Don’t cream your pants.” His head suddenly throbbed where Billy had smashed a plate over it. There was still a faint scar by his hairline that hadn’t gone away. He thought, by now, that it never would.

“Cops are here, man,” said Hargrove.

“Well, who invited them?” He started laughing.

“Jesus, you’re loaded.” There was a pause filled by the sound of people rushing around. Then the soft emission of a sigh. “Alright, pretty boy, don’t take this too personal.” Billy leaned down and hauled Steve up by his armpits. The room tilted dangerously, and Steve stumbled against him. Billy planted his feet. Asshole.

When he got Steve’s arm secured over his shoulder, he ushered them down the hall, down the back steps, through the sunroom, and into the back yard. Steve’s head continued to loll.

“Goin’ too fast,” he mumbled.

“You can keep up. Seen you run. Better at that than basketball,” said Billy.

“Asshole,” he mumbled, even though Billy was right.

Fresh night air washed over them. It smelled the faintest bit like fire. Steve kind of remembered a firepit earlier. Hargrove shifted his grip on Steve, dragging him closer against him.

“Okay pretty boy, we’re gonna have to run. You good to run?”

Steve considered it. “Okay.”

Billy shifted his grip, and then he was running. Jesus Christ.

Brett’s backyard met the woods like his parents’ did. They dove through the trees, and Steve wanted to tell Billy to turn around, say it wasn’t safe out here, but they were running so fast and he had to use all his brain power to concentrate on what his feet were doing.

He had a feeling they weren’t doing too good.

Billy kept cursing when Steve lost his balance, but he never let him eat shit. “What’d you fucking take? Elephant tranquilizers?” he panted.

Steve thought about it. “Beer. Whisky. Brett’s weed—he doesn’t know about the weed, though.”

“Did him a favor. That weed’s shit anyways.”

Steve thought about it some more. “Pretty sure the whisky was his old man’s. Found it in the den, behind like,” Steve hiccuped, “this vase.”

Billy didn’t say anything. He kept their pace steady, but Steve thought they weren’t moving that fast anymore. Everything felt slow, like each step was a frame, dancing across a flip book.

After a while—felt like fucking years—he had to stop. “Fucking—hold on. Gonna puke.”

Billy retracted his arm and Steve fell sideways, catching himself on the rough bark of a tree. He hung his head between his shoulders, made a retching noise, and when nothing came out, swiped his hand across his mouth.

“Just um—just gimme a sec,” said Steve. His stomach churned, folding on bile and air. He hadn’t eaten much earlier. Or at all. For more than a second, for several seconds, he stood there panting. A weak spasm wracked his chest, and this time, he emptied up a watery stream of bile.

When he dragged his head up, Billy was watching him. His face was so much darker out here in the woods. No blue lights in sight. No light at all.

The fine hairs along Steve’s neck pricked up. He thought it felt a lot colder suddenly than a June night warranted.

“I’m good,” he said, then sat down heavily.

Billy kept looking at him, and Jesus, Steve wished he wouldn’t fucking look at him like that. He couldn’t quite pin down his expression. It faintly mirrored the one Nancy had given him when she’d called him bullshit. He felt like bullshit right about now.

“What? Never seen anyone puke before?” he snapped, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at Billy looking at him. Bursts of color spread across the blackness of his lids. He looked at that instead, until he felt like he needed to throw up again.

After a long time, he heard Billy sigh. “You done bein’ a little bitch or you good? We gotta find a road or somethin’.”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” He sat for a second longer, then inched his way back up the tree, hands grappling behind himself for balance. Billy didn’t throw an arm over him this time.  He was on his own.

Steve still felt drunk, but the chilled air and the pressing darkness of the woods and the–noises, Jesus he felt like he could hear everything–sobered him right up.

They walked together in silence. Steve cut a look to Billy, who’d stopped to fish a cigarette from behind his ear and light up. He started moving again without looking at Steve, like he knew where he was going. And that made Steve want to keep following him even though he wasn’t sure why Billy hadn’t ditched his ass yet. Or better yet, why he’d even helped him out at all.

It made Steve feel weird.

Maybe he’d kept on staring, because Billy said, “Take a picture pretty boy. Lasts longer.”

“Could have left me back there,” said Steve.

“Sure could have,” said Billy.

“You didn’t.”

“Got ourselves a real Sherlock Holmes everyone.”

“Man, why?”

Billy tipped his head back, blowing blue smoke into the air. “Pretty boy like you, don’t think you’d make it in jail—this way. Think I hear a car.” He veered left and Steve swayed to follow him. His head was pounding now, right by his temple.

He tried to concentrate on moving his feet right again. One before the other. The forest seemed impossibly vast, like it had them between its jaws, teasing them with the promise of escape. But if he kept looking down, kept watching his feet, he didn’t have to look at anything else. Steve never heard the car.

A branch snapped sharply behind them. He stopped walking. He stopped walking before he even realized it, because when he looked up, Billy was far up ahead. Maybe he was finally going to leave Steve here after all.

Another branch crunched, softer, to his left. He shuddered, wishing he had his bat, but that was under a tarp in the trunk of his car. Billy circled back, finally noticing no one was behind him.

“You gonna be sick again?” he said.

“Man did you—you heard that right?”

Billy dropped the cigarette and cocked his head to the side. His hair was shorter, Steve realized, and he didn’t know when that had happened. They’d been in school together, every day, for the past six months, and he felt like he’d been drifting in and out of his days with blinders on. A cloud passed over the moon, and the silver of his necklace glinted under its light. Steve tried to focus on that instead of the sounds.

With his head swimming, and his limbs heavy, and all this darkness, he felt like—he felt his chest tighten, constricting his breath. He was so busy reminding himself to breathe properly that he didn’t notice Billy touching him again until he’d tightened his grip on Steve’s shoulder.

“Harrington, you good? You with me?”

The idea that he was good, and with Billy, was kind of hysterical. He laughed, the breath eking out of his chest. Billy was giving him a new look, like Steve was insane.

“You heard it right?” said Steve. “That sound.”

Billy was still looking at him. “Been hearing a lot of sounds, Harrington. We’re in the goddamn woods.”

“Thanks, yeah I know that. Just–it was back there. Sounded like maybe, maybe an animal or—”

Billy’s hand tightened some more, nearly painful. He steered Steve to a tree, pushing down until he was leaned against it. God he couldn’t breathe. Billy crouched in front of him, still fucking staring at him.

“Sit Harrington. Breathe or somethin’.”

“Yeah, okay, what do you think I’m doing? You really didn’t? Didn’t hear it?”

“Shit, I don’t know. Maybe. It’s nothing. You’re good, okay? Just need to sweat it out.”

“I’m not—it’s not that.” Steve squeezed his eyes shut. If he could only breathe, then maybe, maybe it would be okay—

“Harrington. Steve,” said Billy. His hand had migrated to Steve’s neck, a warm weight across his nape. “Look at me.”

Steve did.

Billy was kneeling in front of him, his stupid snap shirt unbuttoned nearly all the way to his navel. The necklace winked against his tanned skin again. He’d gotten darker over the summer and Steve hadn’t noticed that either

“There ain’t nothin’ out here. Nothin’ but me and you.”

“Gee, that’s real comforting,” said Steve. He tried to breathe in through his nose, out through his mouth—that’s how you did it right? Fuck he wanted his bat.

Billy reached for his hand, and Steve flinched automatically, but Billy’s grip was gentle, guiding his fingers forward to his neck. Right below his ear, the one with the earring. This one was a silver cross.

“Feel that? You got it?”

“Um.”

Billy rolled his eyes. He pressed Steve’s fingers a little harder. “My pulse dipshit. You feel it?”

“Yeah, yeah I got it.” It beat against his fingers, a quick, but steady thrum. Steve concentrated on it so he wouldn’t concentrate on his breathing, or the noises, and maybe that’s what Billy had wanted after all.

His shoulders gradually dropped from up by his ears.

“Okay?” said Billy. The hand at his nape squeezed slightly.

“Okay, yeah. Okay.”

Billy squeezed him one more time, and when he drew his hand back, his neck felt cold. “You’re gonna hang tight for another minute,” said Billy, “figure your shit out, and then we’re gonna find a fucking road and end this shit show.”

“Okay,” said Steve.

He took more than a minute to figure his shit out. He watched Billy casually light up another cigarette and hand it over to him after a couple puffs.

Steve didn’t give it back and Billy said nothing about that either. Eventually, he felt like he could stand up.

“You good?” said Billy.

Steve pushed away from the tree and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, feeling tired and embarrassed and not nearly drunk enough to be out here in the woods alone with Billy Hargrove. “Yeah, sure,” he said. He started walking in the same direction Billy had been earlier, before his little freak out.

They walked in silence for a while. Steve could physically feel it every time Billy looked at him, which seemed to be a lot. Probably to check that he wasn’t fainting like a little princess.

“That happen a lot?” said Billy.

Steve shrugged. “What? Being drunk?”

“You know what I’m talking about. That little show you just put on. The whole zombie act.”

Je-sus. Steve squinted up at the lightened sky. He didn’t know when they’d left the party. “Uh, not really,” he lied. “You know what time it is?”

“Got somewhere else you’d rather be, pretty boy?”

Only like a million other places. Possibly two million. Steve kept looking at him until he checked his watch. “3:30,” said Billy. “So, what, you afraid of the dark or some shit?”

“Man, I already told you. Thought I heard something.”

“Yeah I know what you told me. But, see, you got a real bad track record of lyin’ to me.”

“I’m not lying. What’s it matter to you anyways? If I’m like—afraid of the dark or whatever?”

Billy considered him. “Are you?” He seemed real serious all of the sudden. He imagined, for one horrific moment, blabbing everything about the Upside Down. Telling him about the dreams. And his shit sleep. And his suddenly shit life.

Steve swallowed it all away, tasting remnants of bile on the back of his tongue. “I’m not afraid of the dark,” he said. Only the monsters in it.

They kept walking, and Steve didn’t hear anymore crunching branches. He didn’t think he was being too vigilant looking out for that kind of thing until Billy spoke again, his voice cutting through the air. Steve jumped at the sound of it.

“Tell you why I saved your ass if you tell me what that was,” he said.

Had this kicking around for a while. I liked the idea of Steve being totally drunk at a party where the cops show up, and he finds an unlikely savior in Billy Hargrove. Who has his own motives for saving his ass. Not done, will probably post to Ao3 when it is. Enjoy! 

[rosettahart]

Glass-says: Chapter 8

Chapter 1, Chapter 7

Ao3 link

Summary: Its opening night, but Roman is not exactly feeling like his fabulous self.

Warnings: Mentions of Disownment, Homophobia, Loneliness, Feelings of Inadequacy and Self Doubts.

Chapter 8

It was opening night tonight. The weekend had left Roman exhausted after the countless hours of work and studying he had done. Sustaining himself wasn't going too well. On the weekend he worked as a server at a fancy little restaurant in the city and for his second job he worked for this grocery delivery app service in which he would buy and deliver groceries. He could take on orders whenever he had the time to and maybe it didn't pay as well as he would have liked, but he could take on as many orders in a day as he wanted to as long as he completed them in a timely enough manner.

Currently, Roman had no running water or electricity at the house as his parents had called the companies only a few hours after they had disappeared over a month ago with his siblings. All the furniture remained and the house hadn't been put up for sale until last week after they had finally come back for everything and moved it out.

Roman came home last week after school to an eerily empty house. Even his room was left with hardly anything other than his clothes scattered all over the floor. Some of them were torn. Then there was the mirror. The full length mirror he kept in the corner of his room. It was different, though. He used to feel confident when checking out his reflection in it or going over his lines for whatever play his school was performing in front of it, but now?

Vulgar and hateful words and slurs were scribbled all over it. There was no doubt in his mind that it had been written by his own Father. And maybe Roman didn't have as good as a relationship as he had wanted with his Dad, but he never could have imagined that the fact that he was gay would be able to twist his Father’s love for him into hate in an instant. Luckily, he hadn't been there when he had found out or Roman very well could have been beaten to death right then and there.

Roman had come out to his Mother first, on a day he had been feeling a little extra confident in himself. Her expression quickly turned grim and serious. She told him to leave and take his car with him and not to return to the house until she texted him. He ended up staying in a parking lot that night. He didn’t get any sleep with his brain going a mile a minute about what would be waiting for him when he did return to the house. He should never have believed for even a second that he would still be loved and accepted by his family after revealing his sexuality. How had he been so naive?

For a while now, Roman had been struggling to save up money; what with his monthly cell phone bills, gas and food, and as it was becoming colder outside and he had no heating, he had invested in some heavier blankets. He had gotten an inflatable mattress with what extra money he had when he had been left without a bed last week. Luckily, Roman could use the school's locker room showers to freshen up during the week, but he would have to suffer through the weekends. Now, however, he was finding himself in a tough position. He was pretty much squatting in a house that could be sold at anytime. If his comfortable shelter was taken away, then what would he do? He could stay in his car for a while, but how long? Would he be able to find an affordable place to rent that would also be close enough to the school with what he was making? Or would he have to get another job? Would he need to dropout of school in order to support himself? He was only sixteen and he already had to worry about financial stability. Why couldn't he have just kept his mouth shut!?

Roman let out a frustrated sigh as he shifted his car into park. The tank was running low on fuel so he would have to refill it soon. More money he would have to spend. He collected his bag from the passenger seat that held a change of clothes and some essentials to freshen himself up with after the performance.

Leaning back against the seat, Roman took a moment to compose himself. He glanced over at the school. He would have to go in there and pretend everything was fine, as usual, but he was just so tired. So very, very tired. Tired of working, studying and practicing. Tired of lying and having to put on a fake smile. Tired of waking up screaming in a cold sweat. Tired of being alone… He missed all his younger siblings, but he didn't know if they missed him. Why would they, when they had each other? What was there to miss?

Roman shook away the thoughts as best as he could. He really needed to get changed and warmed up for the musical. There were less than two hours until the curtains would open and the play would begin. It would take about an hour to be made up in order to look the part of the character he was to portray. Even then that was just a rough estimate with how hectic backstage could get with upwards of twenty people needing to be made up to fit their roles running around.

He got out of his car. He could do this. All he had to do was think happy thoughts. Just like Wendy, John and Michael in Peter Pan. Except you know, it wouldn't be so he could fly off to Neverland and forget his problems and possibly hang out with Peter and the lost boys… That would be heaven though, especially if he found someone who swung in his direction… His life wasn't a Disney movie. He dreamed it could be, but it just wasn't. He had to think positive thoughts, even if those seemed to be in few supplies these days. Roman needed to act like everything was okay and what better way than to ignore his current situation? If only it were that easy.

“Hey, R! You excited about our first performance?” Paris asked cheerfully, coming up seemingly out of nowhere from behind Roman and immediately going to wrap her arm with the other thespian's. “Cause I know I'm especially excited to perform that one scene together in front of an audience. What about you?”

“Of course, I am! We've been rehearsing for hours upon hours and now we're finally going to entertain a live audience, who are paying to see us perform!” Roman gushed, casually escaping Paris’ grasp to gesticulate animatedly.

It was almost like a switch was flipped the moment someone interacted with Roman. It had grown too easy for him to fake a genuine smile for others and seemingly turn his energy from a one all the way to a ten. But he had to, because he didn't need help. He could take care of himself and his own problems! He was strong and he needed others to see him that way, even if most days he didn't actually feel like he was… Because most days there would be this tiny voice in his head just begging him to reach out to someone, anyone that could make things alright again. For someone to take him in and take away his problems. To hold him tight, whispering reassuring words into his ear that he'd never have to be alone ever again. To feel alone ever again.

“-R?” Paris’ arm was intertwined with Roman's again, when he returned his attention to the world around him.

“Hm?”

“You coming to my party this Saturday or not? The hot tub will be running and there will be plenty to drink.” Paris persuaded, pulling Roman down a little so she could bat her eyes at him, a mischievous smile on her face.

Roman turned his gaze away uncomfortable with the look in his classmate’s eyes and staring instead at the theatre's doors. “This Saturday?”

“That's what I said.”

“The cast party's that night though…”

Paris rolled her eyes. “So? The cast parties aren't mandatory. Beside my party is going to be much more exciting than a lame hangout between cast mates.”

“Cast parties are not lame! They celebrate a productions end and everyone who worked on it, no matter what their role in the play was! Without every member of our company, whether it be the main actors or the people who work the lights and sound, we are all a team! Putting on a musical or a play takes a team, Paris! So sorry, but I think I’m going to the cast party this Saturday and I’m going to have a lot more fun with the crew than I would if I were to hang out with you and a bunch of drunk strangers.” Roman retorted, heading into the theatre.

“Strangers? They're your friends, Roman! But maybe you've forgotten that since you've found new ones. You know what, I don’t even know why I have a crush on you anymore!” Paris argued, drawing everyone's eyes to the pair with her raised voice.

“My friends? Really!? Since when? Because last I knew they've only ever been your friends, not mine!” Roman challenged back.

“Well, that's your fault! And are you really going to just ignore the fact I'm interested in you!? I thought we had a connection, but apparently I just imagined that, huh!”

“I don't know where you got that idea from. I have never been interested in you that way, Paris… Look can we just-”

“Never been interested in me? That's hilarious, Roman. Next you're going to tell me that you're gay for Virgil and that you'd much rather get all gross and freaky with him than be with the hottest girl in school.” Paris chuckled darkly, gesturing up by the soundbooth at the frozen emo.

Roman immediately tensed at Virgil's startled expression, his eyes averting to the floor. The words gay, gross and freaky, repeating themselves in that vicious tone, making him feel disgusting and wrong.

“Well go ahead! No one's stopping you! But I'm not going to just stand around and act all in love with a filthy jerk like you!” Paris snarled, slamming the theatre door behind herself.

The room filled with an awkward silence that quickly turned into harsh whispers as Roman made his way backstage to get ready. Looks like he'd be acting opposite Amara instead.

Roman dropped his bag next to a stool and took a seat in front of one of the mirrors. He ran his hands through his hair, leaning his elbows against the counter for a minute. He just needed a minute. One minute was all he should need to compose himself and his thoughts. Taking in and letting out a deep steady breath, he opened his eyes to look up at the mirror.

A minute wasn't going to be enough.

Roman could practically see the words written over the reflective surface, reminding him of how disgusting he was. He stood abruptly, nearly knocking over his chair. He needed out now!

“Roman? You o-”

“Yeah, just need a minute.” Roman cut off his castmate, hurrying away while also trying not to come off too frantic.

He needed space. He couldn't break down in front of everyone. He was stronger than that!

Roman had just about reached the exit of the theatre when the director called after him.

“Ro-”

“JUST A MINUTE!” Roman wailed, pushing through the door and taking off in a sprint towards the stairs, his vision blurring.

No one would go looking for him in the bathroom upstairs.

At least Roman hoped no one would...

Author's notes: So this chapter was fairly heavy... It was going to go in a different direction and end on a better note, but it would've been like twice the size of a normal chapter. Don't worry though the next chapter will be a much softer one! Anyways thanks for your patience and thanks for reading! -Danielle

Chapter 9

Taglist:

@kittiebrick

@absolutesandersidestrash

[a7xlizardqueen]

Title: Your Knight in a Sweater Vest

Overall Rating: NC-17

Overall Warnings: Parental bullying, mentions of bulimia, nudity(?), drinking, partying, cursing, very slight mention of war and trauma, smut, poor self-esteem

Pairing: Reader x Steve Rogers

Summary: When you need help dealing with your rude and overbearing family, your best friend Steve Rogers comes to the rescue. Modern!AU - For @barnesrogersvstheworld  Writing Challenge Shot Through the Heart #shotthroughtheheart3k

Chapter: 8/10

Word Count: 2,092 words

Chapter Warnings: Poor self-esteem

-X-X-X-

The moment between you and Steve had passed and you followed Peter and Ned inside and up to your floor. When you get into your apartment you change into sweats and a big sweater, only now realizing that your favourite comfy sweater happens to be one you stole from Steve in college. You can't get him out of your head. You grab a beer from the fridge, make a bowl of buttery popcorn and curl up on the couch underneath a blanket. From your hard drive you select your go-to film for when you’re feeling down, Only Lovers Left Alive.

Steve always made fun of you for it. He didn't particularly like the film, thought it was boring and that it didn't really have a story. Actually, Steve says the only reason you watch it is for Tom Hiddleston, which isn't completely false. However it's for all those reason that this movie manages to calm you down; the deep rolling soundtrack, the slowness of it all, Adam's sadness against Eve's joy and hope at the smallest things forces your heart beat to steady and brings a warm fuzziness to your brain.

Steve would never understand, he doesn't ever doubt himself, doesn't get panicked over anything. And why would he, he's a down right perfect specimen. There's not a damn thing wrong with him from the inside out. He's got the body of a God, the face of a model and the heart of an angel. Even when he's reminded of Bucky's time as a POW, a time you remember well, he stays calm, takes a deep breath, and moves on.

You remember when Steve had found out Bucky was captured. You hadn't known each other for long yet. You expected him to cry, rage, become irate, anything that a normal college boy would do, party excessively, something. Instead he'd become hard, spending all of his time studying or in the gym, killing punching bag after punching bag.

Your beer is empty and you realize you haven't been paying attention to the movie at all. You've just been sitting here thinking about Steve. Fucking Steve. He's all you can think about anymore. Why did he have to go and pretend to be your fucking boyfriend? Now all you want is for the fantasy to be real, and it never will be. How could someone like Steve possibly think you’re good enough for him?

You’re not smart like him, you’re not an unfailingly good person, and you’re nowhere near as beautiful as he is; not to mention your fucked up family. You've never been good at being a woman, your skin isn't silky smooth, your hands are calloused and you often have saw dust in your hair. You rarely wear makeup and never wear dresses. You don't flirt and smile and bat your eyes. There's a reason why your best friends are guys.

Steve and you are never gonna happen. You shouldn't even be entertaining the thought.

-X-X-X-

No matter how hard you tried you couldn't get him out of your head. Even though your lives had mostly gone back to normal, not having any family functions to attend, your brain wouldn't revert back to normal. Whenever you hung out you were always acutely aware of Steve's presence and you began to notice him even more, which you would have thought was impossible.

When he spoke it felt like his voice was caressing your skin, or like you were savoring a piece of decadent dark chocolate. You'd find yourself getting lost listening to the inflections and rising and falling of the tone of his voice, and Steve would have to repeat himself. You noticed how his hair glistened in the sun, all the different shades of blond becoming more distinct. You noticed the flexing of his muscles when he moved, especially whenever you were at the gym together. And his smell, my God he smelled amazing. You didn't care what he smelled like when you would hang out at the bar and he'd be wearing cologne, no. Your favourite scent was purely Steve. After you'd work out really hard and he was dripping sweat and he smelled so primal, so dirty, and so male. Whenever he smelled like that it would make your nipples hard and your pussy ache. You'd never wanted anyone so much in your life.

You began to dream about Steve all the time, too. Sometimes it would just be him smiling at you, maybe sharing a kiss or two. Most of the time you would wake up drenched in sweat, panting, and wanting him. You relieved yourself many times while remembering the filthy dreams your depraved mind conjured while you slept.

-X-X-X-

To your surprise Ines invited Sam to the wedding and so he and Steve took over your room to get ready while you and Ines used her room. Your skin was practically crawling you were so nervous. All because after the wedding you'd have to share a bed with Steve.

"Honey, why don't you just tell him how you feel? He probably likes you too," Ines suggests while curling your hair.

You scoff, "Yeah right. There's no way Steve thinks of me like that."

"I think you're completely oblivious. That man only has eyes for you. Why don't you think he'll like you?"

You shake your head, "You never met his ex, Peggy. She was gorgeous. She was the smartest, funniest, strongest woman I ever knew. Steve was head over heels in love, although they never really dated long. When Buck went missing, I guess Steve kind of shut her out. She moved back to England soon after that. Last I heard she got married and had a kid."

"Y/N, that was a long time ago. Things have changed."

"Easy for you to say. Look at you!"

Ines shakes her head in disbelief, "Oh my God, your mother really fucked you up."

-X-X-X-

Steve texts you that they're already downstairs waiting for you so you and Ines head straight down on the elevator. You fidget with the skirt of the simple black fit and flare, anxious to see what Steve's reaction will be. You’re not sure he's ever seen you in a dress.

"You're overthinking it, Y/N. Calm down."

You sigh and leave the dress alone, "I know. I'm nervous."

The elevator slows to a stop, your heart jolting at the same time. The doors open, Sam and Steve are waiting on the other side of the doors in sleek black tuxedos. You gape and stumble out of the elevator. Steve holds his arm out for you and you steady yourself. His eyes slowly peruse up and down your body and your chest grows warm.

“Wow, Steve,” you smile, “You look great.”

Steve smiles down at you, eyes shining, and says something that makes your heart skip a beat, “You look beautiful, Y/N.”

-X-X-X-

Steve takes the four of you to the church in his SUV. Due to Jae's religious catholic family, that meant a church wedding, a long church wedding. There was a lot of standing and kneeling and praying until finally Justin and Jae were deemed husband and wife. You did tear up for a while, but the wedding was so long that they dried up pretty quickly. You and Steve sat one pew behind your mother who thankfully ignored you the entire time.

Back at the hotel in the banquet hall you found out just how amazing Jae really was. As immediate family, you and Steve should have been sitting with your mother and sister, however she sat you at a "black sheep" table with your father and Trish, Ines’ parents, and Ines and Sam. Your table quickly contrasted severely with the other family table. You were already laughing before the bride and groom came in.

The bride and groom were announced to raucous cheers. Food and wine was served. Steve’s attention was solely on you the entire time, even when he was having a conversation with someone else, his hand was on the back of your chair, or playing with the ends of your hair, or laying on the exposed skin of your back, thumb lightly caressing your skin. And slowly you became less and less nervous around him, and actually began to entertain the idea that maybe Steve Rogers likes you a little bit

The speeches are hilarious, performed by Justin and Jae’s best friends who are a couple. There are little Polaroid cameras all over the tables for people to take pictures of each other with. Sam has a lot of fun with that, vowing to get a picture of you and Steve kissing, something you tell him is not going to happen.

When the food is done and most of the plates cleared the fun really starts. The music is turned up and changes to more upbeat songs, urging the guests to dance. Ines’ parents are up immediately. You’re pretty sure they’re the most amazing couple you’ve ever met, you’ll never tell Clintasha though.

There are a few different games around the room too and you and Steve play a few with Sam and Ines. The best one is the giant Jenga game. You all need a moment to catch your breath and sit back at the table. You head over to the bar for drinks. Of course the night couldn’t go perfectly, not in your world. Percy sidles up to you with a smirk.

“You look good, Y/N.”

“Save it, Percy. I don’t care what you think.”

“That’s a new revelation. You used to bend over backwards to make me happy.”

“And you took it for granted and put me in the hospital. Hmm, I wonder why I don’t care about you anymore. Such a mystery.”

“What if I told you I changed?” his expression becomes serious and you pause, looking at him.

“Excuse me?”

“What if I said I wanted to try again?”

An incredulous laugh bursts from your mouth, shocking even yourself.

“You are delusional if you think I’d leave Steve for you.”

Percy smirks, “Yeah, but we both know that’s not real, right? Come on, I remember you and Steve in college. You’re not a real thing. Look, there he is now, cozying up with your sister.”

You follow the tilt of his head and peek over Percy’s shoulder, spying your sister chatting with Steve. She’s giving him her best smile, flinging her hair, and laying a hand on his arm. Steve’s back is turned to you, though. When you look back at Percy he’s wearing a triumphant smile, and he places his hand intimately on your waist. With a sudden burst of rage you throw his hand off.

“Don’t ever touch me again.”

“Come on, babe. Don’t be mad at me just ‘cause Steve’s no better than the rest of them.”

You gasp and realize just how thick Percy is. You grab a champagne flute from the bar and chug it back, then you laugh.

“You’ve gotta be really stupid if you think you can ruin my night with your flimsy accusations. Maybe Steve and I aren’t actually in a relationship. I’m definitely not going to tell you if that were true. Either way, we’re still best friends. Do you honestly think that I don’t know my own best friend well enough to know that he would never be interested in someone like my sister?”

“Hey, babe, there a problem here?” Steve interrupts at just the right moment.

You smile fondly and accept his offered hand.

“There’s absolutely no problem. Thank you for proving my point.”

Without a backward glance at Percy you allow Steve to pull you away. You’re surprised when he keeps walking past the table and instead takes you to the dance floor where many of the couples are enjoying a slow dance. Steve pulls you in tight, one arm on the small of your back.

“What are we doing here?” You ask.

Steve smirks, “I wanted to dance with my girl.”

“But I’m not your girl,” you reply with a smirk.

“Yes, Y/N, you are. I love you.”

Your skin tingles with his revelation, “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more certain of anything.”

Excitement bubbles up from your stomach and you throw your arms around Steve’s neck, attaching your lips to his in a hurried and fervent kiss. He squeezes you against him and kisses you back until you’re breathless and are forced to part.

“Got it!” Sam laughs, waving a Polaroid in your face before skipping away.