#bathroom renovators barrie

[tia-amorosa]

Lucky Palms🌴🌴🌴

A summary of my gameplay - Part 2 ----(looong Part, lots of Text)----

The closest I visited is single father Barry Gilbert with his two sons Hanson and Joshua. He is a loving father who tries hard to take good care of his children. But he is quite dissatisfied with his job and would like to resume training as a nurse. Of course, he was worried about who would look after his children while he was at work.

His older son, Hanson, had heard that there were still gemstones to be found further out. The mines in the area have actually been closed for many years, but the little man really wants to find a few more of these precious stones so that the family can have more money. They live in a cheap, shabby house that Barry bought after his wife died (I was hoping to maybe find her in the cemetery, but unfortunately no...) He then went gem hunting with his children because Hanson had wanted to. the boy really wanted to have these stones grind. So his father took him to a place where he could do that.

They then found what they were looking for in the second-hand shop. And there was this nice saleswoman who Barry quickly started talking to.

It turns out that her father was once one of the men who owned a large mine here. This had to be closed at some point and her father died after a long illness. But she had inherited a lot from him. And she told Barry that she had occasionally worked as a housekeeper for other families before she had to work here at this boring store after an acquaintance asked her if she could work the cash register.

The conversation lasted a long time and Barry also explained what a stroke of fate had befallen him. The death of his wife and now the new job that he wanted to start again soon. he was worried because he didn't particularly want to have a young babysitter look after his children. So Daniela gladly offered to give her phone number so he could contact her if he needed help. But no one could have imagined that it would happen so quickly...

The next morning, Barry was woken up with an urgent text message. He is scheduled to start work in the hospital today. Actually, he still had a few days left before his first day at work. But all helping hands are needed in the hospital. And so he sent Daniela a message and asked if she could come over. Of course she did. After a few things had been sorted out provisionally, Barry went to work and Daniela first got an overview of the household.

She noticed a few things. There wasn't really any fresh fruit and vegetables, and some other things that are important for a well-functioning household were missing. And so she made some notes that she wanted to talk to Barry about later. She enjoyed having a real job again and doing the things she does best. And it was agreed that she would live with the family for a certain period of time.

When Barry came home from work one day, he noticed that Daniela had cut his son's hair. Inwardly this annoyed him a little, but he didn't want to insult her about it. And his son then clearly showed him that it was actually a blessing for him to wear his hair shorter now. Barry had been meaning to take the little one to the hairdresser for a while, but there was never the time. So he swallowed his little resentment and then thought it was okay.

That same evening, Daniela talked to Barry about what work had been done around the house and what might still need to be done. And that she would also be happy to cover the costs. But Barry didn't agree with everything. He didn't want Daniela to take care of everything in the household. She wanted to renovate the bathroom, but that was too much for him. After a small, extended but calm discussion, it was agreed that she should only take care of the normal household, go shopping, cooking and look after the children. Then it was ok.

Daniela stuck to the agreement and from then on only took care of the things she had asked Barry to do. She cooked, cleaned, went shopping... And over time she realized that they really liked each other. I had a good feeling and left the household. (The two of them are now in a committed relationship, the progression told me^^)

......................................................................................................................

Sorry for the length of this part, it couldn't be divided into several parts. The next parts will be a little shorter, I promise (maybe😂)

@cozygirlsimmer 😊

[dartmoorsfinest]

Inside Josh Widdicombe’s home with butcher shop tiles and a £6,000 bath (The Sunday Times, 10.11.24)

The comedian’s interior designer wife, Rose Hanson, has restored an 1860s house with copper pipes, vintage finds and lots of books.

[NON-PAYWALL / ORIGINAL]

The comedian Josh Widdicombe and Rose Hanson, his interior designer wife, have restored a 19th-century former artist’s house in the village of Mullion, on the Lizard. The star of Channel 4’s The Last Leg is in the process of writing gags for his 2025 stand-up tour. Called Not My Cup of Tea, because he gave up alcohol last year and now drinks eight cups of “builder’s tea” a day, the show will be a catalogue of gentle gripes on topics from motorway services to children’s party bags. He says inspiration strikes during the eight-hour drive from where they live in Hackney, east London, to their Cornish home, when he has the captive audience of Hanson and their kids, Pearl, seven, and Cassius, three. Traffic jams on the A303 are evidently fertile ground for middle-aged grumbles.

We are speaking during half-term, and the final stage of the renovation — the landscaping of their three-quarter-acre plot — is in ear-splitting full swing. A sauna has already been installed and by the time the diggers depart there will be a fireplace and outdoor kitchen on the patio, and a natural swimming pool in the garden. To a backing track of excavations, the couple, both 41, explain that they picked this glorious spot because Josh grew up in Haytor Vale, near Torquay, and his parents still live nearby in Devon, while Hanson (whose mother, incidentally, helped to create Zippy, the puppet from the 1980s kids’ show Rainbow) remembers Cornwall fondly from childhood holidays. “It felt like a natural place for us to look,” she says.

The 1860s house, called Moorlands, previously belonged to a local abstract artist, Barrie Cook, whose works are in the Tate and the Government Art Collection. “He’s got Wikipedia. So he’s legit,” Widdicombe says. “I don’t know much about art but if someone’s got a Wikipedia page, that’s quite a big deal.” Along with the rambling building, they took on the expectations of Cook’s family. “We had quite a strange day of meeting the whole extended family after we’d bought the house,” Widdicombe says. “They just wanted to know that this place was going into the hands of people that would care about it and treat it well.” The couple have done the Cooks proud, with a sympathetic top-to-toe restoration and a reconfiguration of the layout to meet the demands of modern family life.

They bought Moorlands in October 2022 for under £850,000 and are likely to spend the same again on renovations. Work started in January 2023, knocking through walls upstairs and between the sitting room and dining room on the ground floor. Six months later, the old extension was demolished and by November every single window in the house had been replaced. “They’re basically identical to the windows that were here, but they’re not falling apart,” Hanson says. They took the property from five bedrooms and two bathrooms to six bedrooms and seven bathrooms, overhauled the electrics, got rid of the oil tank and replumbed with help from a local company called The Braze. “It’s like an incredible work of art with all of these amazing copper pipes,” she says.

By March this year the lights and heating were on. Hanson sourced the oak flooring from Dartmoor firm Coppice and Crown. The most striking change was the replacement of the old sunroom on the first floor. “The upstairs conservatory was quite amazing. But it was just completely impractical because it was absolutely boiling, and there was quite bad damp in the room below. So we got an architect involved and designed two double bedrooms with en suites, and a beautiful formal dining room underneath.” Hanson repositioned the kitchen at the front of the house, where the family would benefit from the glorious garden view. By April 24, every room in the house was finished, and they had their first guests to stay.

Now they intend to spend six weeks of the year enjoying their seaside getaway, and let it out in between family visits. So how do they live when in Cornwall? Hanson lifts weights in her home gym and plans to learn to surf at the nearby Dan Joel Surf School. “I hate stuff like that,” says Widdicombe, who can’t swim. “I like a walk. I like running on the treadmill, but I don’t like anything that takes me outside of my comfort zone, ideally. The reason to be on holiday is to relax, not to do anything that makes me stressed.”

He doesn’t mean to party, either. It’s a part of the world notorious for celeb spotting, with notable locals including fellow comics David Baddiel and Morwenna Banks, but the couple plan to lead a quiet life. “We don’t really have parties because we’ve got young children,” Hanson says. “And the people who come and stay have young children too. I mean, we’re lucky if we all get downstairs again after the kids’ bedtime at nine o’clock.” The wildest evening at Moorlands so far was, Widdicombe says, “The first week we stayed, we had four couples and eight children in the house, and we managed to get six kids in the bath at once.”

The tub in question, in the family bathroom, is a £6,000 Rockwell, from Water Monopoly, which Hanson describes as “an extravagant purchase”. A magpie who is constantly acquiring vintage treasures, she added inexpensive second-hand touches to complete the decor. “We found this amazing little yellow bathroom cabinet that just kind of makes the whole room pop. I’m a real hoarder of second-hand fabrics from eBay and I’d got this vintage Pierre Frey fabric patterned with tassels and gems, which we made into a blind.”

Asked how much of the design is her husband’s idea, Hanson is quite clear. “He doesn’t have any say. I don’t even run anything past him, except budget. There are times where there are things that he would really like. When we moved into our first house, Josh really wanted a bread bin that said ‘Bread’ on it. So I made that happen. Then there was [a request for] a hot water tap. So fine. Yeah, you can have your hot water tap.”

Widdicombe has no complaints. “I’d rather someone else who knows what they’re doing takes the lead,” he says. “I know what I’m good at and I don’t think Rose is ever going to give me notes on my stand-up. And in the same way, I’m not going to give her notes on this.” Hanson responds: “You’re basically the dream client.”

Before they moved in together, the comedian’s taste was based around displaying his music collection. “I lived in a rental property in Turnpike Lane [north London] when I was in my twenties and I didn’t have much money. I had a wall of about 600 CDs.” Now his focus has switched to books as decor. “I buy a lot of books and I’m a keeper of books. I hate it when someone says to me, ‘Can I borrow that after you’ve finished reading it?’ Because I think, ‘No, I want to put it on my wall.’ It’s like you’ve killed a deer or whatever, isn’t it, and you want to display it? If someone says that, I’ll buy them a copy of that book rather than give them my book.” So, excluding the library in his study, and keeping her hands off the hot tap and bread bin, Hanson had carte blanche to decorate the house to her taste.

She brought in her friend Charlotte Tilbury, a designer who had worked on their London home in Victoria Park, Hackney, and moved to Devon during Covid. Halfway through the works, the two women decided to start a business together and make Moorlands their first joint project: Penrose Tilbury was founded. “It’s not like work,” Hanson says. “It’s like going and hanging out with your mate and drinking rosé.” It wasn’t all wine and design chat, she corrects herself. “The hardest things to find were bathroom tiles. We did a collaboration with Original Style who made a bespoke pencil-black tile for us that we just couldn’t really find anywhere. Then the Daily Mail did a story — they must have got some pictures from our Instagram — and somebody said in the comments that our bathrooms look like a butcher’s shop. I was quite pleased with that. That was sort of the look I was going for.”

The next visit will be for New Year’s Eve, when the couple will be inviting friends for an ultra-low-key gathering. Hanson says: “We might have a glass of wine after we finish bedtime at nine o’clock.” And there will be plenty of PG Tips.

[rescuefield-arch1]

i've been talking about it for a while and i've finally found an actual place that feels like claire... so here's the infamous lake house. claire bought it sometime after coming back from sejm, using money from her period of time as mercenary ( late 2011 to 2013, allegedly ).

the location is kept a secret for safety reasons ( claire is paranoid as fuck ), and back then the place was abandoned and this close to fall apart - its renovations was basically her little side project in between therapy and trying to clear terrasave from the mess neil made.

barry and chris definitely helped her with the heavier work, and built the deck where she sunbathes and meditates every day. unlike her NY townhouse, the lake house has a less cluttered space with minimal furniture - claire's style is still visible in the few pictures around the living room and her bedroom, but essentially it mirrors how her mind is post t-phobos.

her friends and loved ones are always welcome whenever they need some time off and away from the chaos of the city ( some of them definitely have spare keys and can come and go as they please as long as everything is put back in place before they leave ) and it wouldn't be unusual in the summer for her to invite everybody over for cookouts / grilled picnics and all that.

bonus : a layout of the base floor. the stairs lead to the basement, which has two more ( unfinished ) rooms, a gaming / living room and storage area, and a bathroom / laundry room

[neatfixllc]

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[hammerdownhomeca]

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Licensed, Insured, and WSIB certified, we have been delivering quality interior and exterior renovations since 1987, HammerDown Home Improvement is dedicated to creating your ideal living space in Durham Region, Orillia, Ramara, Oro, Barrie and the surrounding area.

Services/Keywords: Basement Renovation, Kitchen Renovation, Bathroom Renovation, Additions, Open Concept Living, New Construction, Decks and Porches, Sheds and Play Structures, Adaptation for Senior Living, Tile and Flooring Installation, Painting, Drywall Installation, Ceiling Repair, Window Installation, Countertop Replacement

Social Media Profiles: https://www.facebook.com/Hammerdownhome/

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[internationalrealestatenews]

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[basementrenovations]

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[barriebasementreno]

Bathroom Contractors That Can Update Tiles in Barrie

When it comes to updating the tiles in your bathroom, it's crucial to find reliable and skilled bathroom contractors in Barrie who can deliver exceptional results. The right contractors will not only transform the appearance of your bathroom but also ensure that the project is completed efficiently and within your budget. In this blog post, we will explore the key factors to consider when hiring bathroom contractors and highlight some of the best practices to follow for a successful tile update project.

Factors to Consider When Hiring Bathroom Contractors

Finding the perfect bathroom contractors to update the tiles in your Barrie home requires careful consideration. Here are a few essential factors to keep in mind:

Experience and Expertise:

Look for contractors with extensive experience in bathroom renovations and tile installations. They should have a track record of delivering high-quality work and possess the necessary skills to handle various tile materials and installation techniques.

Reputation and Reviews:

Check for customer reviews and testimonials to gauge the reputation of potential contractors. Positive feedback and recommendations from previous clients indicate their professionalism and ability to meet customer expectations.

Best Practices for a Successful Tile Update Project

To ensure a smooth and successful tile update project, here are some best practices to follow:

Clear Communication:

Effective communication with your chosen bathroom contractors is crucial. Clearly express your expectations, preferences, and budget constraints from the start. Regular communication throughout the project will help address any concerns or changes promptly.

Proper Planning and Design:

Before starting the tile update, plan the design and layout carefully. Discuss your ideas with the contractors and seek their input. They can provide valuable insights into choosing the right tiles, colors, and patterns that match your style and preferences.

Updating the tiles in your bathroom can breathe new life into the space and enhance its aesthetic appeal. By hiring experienced and reputable bathroom contractors in Barrie, you can ensure a successful tile update project that meets your expectations. Remember to consider factors such as experience and reputation when selecting contractors, and follow best practices like clear communication and proper planning for a smooth renovation journey. 

With the right contractors by your side, you'll soon have a beautiful and refreshed bathroom that you can enjoy for years to come. So contact JC Unlimited today and get further information on bathroom contractors.

[berkmansimagines]

long story short

a/n: this is pretty short! i wrote it today on a whim

Summary: You and Barry return home after tough jobs.

Pairing: Barry Berkman x hitman!wife reader

“Ow! Fuck,” you curse through gritted teeth.

You’ve just arrived home from a very difficult hit. You’re sitting on the counter in the bathroom, tending to a nasty gash on your knee. You injured yourself on the job. Your target was in the middle of renovating the first floor of his home. As you were sneaking through the house, you accidentally tripped over a loose floorboard. The noise from your fall alerted your target that there was an intruder. You shot your mark while he was dialing 911.

After you finish cleaning the wound, you delicately place a large bandage over it. You’ll be alright but right now your entire leg hurts like a motherfucker.

“I need a drink…”

You slowly rise to your feet and leave the bathroom. As you limp towards the kitchen, the front door opens. Barry is home. He was also working tonight. You just hope that his hit went better than yours.

“Hey,” your husband greets you as he walks through the door.

Barry suddenly notices your injury. His eyes widen.

“Oh shit! What happened?” he asks with concern.

Barry rushes over to you. He quickly looks you up and down, making sure you aren’t hurt anywhere else.

“Long story…. That hit I was on, it was a bad time,” you sigh.

“You okay?” he lightly rubs your arms.

“I survived,” you quietly reply.

Barry nods. He wants to hear more but he’s not going to push you. You’re too drained to go over the details right now, so you change the subject.

“Where have you been, babe? I thought you’d be back home before I left for my job. I was starting to worry…”

Barry was out doing a hit for the Chechens. They hired Barry to blow up a house where a rival Bolivian gang was staying.

“Yeah, that stupid Kaboom app Hank downloaded on my phone didn’t work. I was on hold for hours with customer support,” Barry shrugs, “And when the bomb finally went off, it blew out the car windows…”

You raise your eyebrows.

“Damn. We’ve both had rough days, huh?” you chuckle, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Barry takes a deep breath and his entire body relaxes. He was so frustrated earlier with all the Kaboom bullshit, but now it feels as if all the tension from today has been washed away. Coming home to you always puts him at ease. He gently rests his hands on your waist.

“Yeah, it’s getting better now though,” Barry says softly.

You shyly smile at your husband, looking at him with heart eyes. You keep him close.

[berrytay]

welcome to Pepper’s minty abode 🌴

Pepper lives in the town of Oasis Springs in the Bedrock Strait neighborhood on the lot called Sandtrap Flat. it is a 1 bedroom and 1 bathroom home, which is perfect for her.

Oasis Springs : an oasis nestled in the austere beauty of the western desert, this haven of eclectic cultures is fringed by countless soaring palms, and lent vibrant color through impossibly lush landscaping. Oasis Springs offers relaxing retreats from the sun to any traveler who discovers it.

Bedrock Strait : residents of this delightfully kitschy neighborhood take pride in their billboards and lawn gnomes. and who wouldn’t love getting to say hello to Barry the brontosaurus every morning?

Pepper is materialistic so she wants to either move to a bigger and better house or renovate her current one to be bigger and better but for now, this is her humble abode.

pictured are the front of the house, the back of the house, the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, Pepper’s bedroom, and an aerial view of her home.

[oodlyenough]

himym effect reminded me that when i could still go places my best friend and i ended up in some random shitty bar in nyc because it was still open after work, she comes back from the bathroom and is like "wow that is a LOT of himym quotes on the stall for no reason" turns out it's the bar from the show or something. we go back there like 2 months later and she's like "have i gone crazy or has the bathroom completely changed" they'd ripped out all the stalls and completely renovated

ask 2: but it was a bit of a mindfuck all around, firstly that there was anywhere with THAT many barty (barry? barney?) quotes and secondly going back while drunk and suddenly the bathroom is completely changed

LMAO that’s honestly so funny... I know you didn’t give me a timeframe but it’s hilarious to imagine they tore it down right after the finale. 

Also lmao @ “Barty” (it is in fact barney) 

[barriehomwrenovation-blog]

Barrie Home Renos

Business Name: -

Barrie Home Renos

 Street Address: -

55 Frank's Way

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Barrie

 State: -

Ontario (ON)

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L4N 3J1

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Canada

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(705) 242-8887

 Website: -

https://barriebathroomrenovation.ca/

 Facebook: -

https://www.facebook.com/barriehomerenos/

 Business Description: -

Barrie Home Renos is a team of friendly contractors with the expertise necessary to give you the home your family deserves.

 Building Custom Homes & Renovating Existing Homes in Barrie and surrounding towns/cities. Barrie Home Renos are the team you want on the job- We treat your house like our own and operate on strict design schedules. Our Cottages, Home additions, and Bathroom renovations have made a positive mark on homes all around Barrie, Innisfil, Angus, Wasaga Beach, and Lindsay.

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Mon-Sat 8am-6pm Sunday Closed

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Home Renovation, Bathroom Renovation, Kitchen Renovation, Basement Renovation, Home Remodelling, Home additions

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[barriebasementreno]

Basement Renovations from Local Contractors in Barrie

Basement renovations have become an increasingly popular way to increase living space and add value to homes in Barrie. Many homeowners are taking advantage of the unused space in their basements to create functional and comfortable living spaces for their families. From home theatres to extra bedrooms, the options for basement renovations are almost limitless.

Are Basement Renovations Worth It?

One of the biggest advantages of basement renovations is the opportunity to add value to your home. A well-designed and finished basement can increase the value of your home by a significant amount, making it a smart investment for homeowners. In addition, basement renovations can also help to improve the overall energy efficiency of your home by providing additional insulation and reducing the amount of unused space.

Another advantage of basement renovations is the opportunity to create a space that is tailored to your specific needs and preferences. Whether you want to create a home office, a home gym, a playroom, or a home theatre, the options are endless. You can even add a bathroom to your basement, making it a self-contained living space.

When considering a basement renovation, it is important to work with a trusted and experienced contractor. JC Unlimited is a local contractor in Barrie that has been providing high-quality basement renovations for many years. Their team of skilled professionals has the experience and expertise to turn your vision into a reality, and they will work closely with you to ensure that your basement renovation meets your needs and exceeds your expectations.

In conclusion, basement renovations are a great way to increase the living space and value of your home in Barrie. If you're interested in exploring your options, we invite you to contact JC Unlimited today to schedule a consultation. Their team of experts will work with you to design and build the basement renovation of your dreams. Take the first step towards a more comfortable and functional home today.

[killervibe]

Chapter 2: The Clique

Caitlin couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t breathe, she wasn’t even sure she could manage to blink, frozen numb. Her fingertips were white against her binder, gripping tightly to her notes as if it were her last strand of sanity.

 She couldn’t do it. Not by herself, not when her hands were trembling and she was refusing to believe the truth, and she had to do it to protect him, and she had to stay where she was, walk the halls, wear her mascara, as if it won’t soon streak down her face—when all she wanted was to go back to yesterday and do it all over.

 She fumbled with her cardigan, still shaking as she hung it on the hook, the school still too warm to wear anything but short sleeves. And when careful hands were on her back, spinning her around, her heart caught in her throat.

 Cisco grabbed her hands, searching her face, his eyes were red-rimmed, and he had bags under them, a deep frown etched over, and she did that, she put it there.

 “Caitlin, what’s happening, I don’t understand, why did you send me that text?”

 Caitlin swallowed the lump in her throat, parting her mouth, but it was like her voice box had been ripped out, and she was helpless but to watch him stare at her, desperate for answers.

 “Sweetheart,” he said softer, tone inflecting, and she flinched as he shook their joint hands. “Talk to me, please. It’s okay that you’re scared about something but please don’t push me away, I’m here.”

 She tore away her gaze, feeling hollow inside, scooped out with nothing left for her to offer him. “These past two weeks—“

 “—Were amazing—“

 “—Were a mistake.”

 He dropped her hands, horrified. “What?”

 She couldn’t even recognize her own voice, when she continued, dull and stone faced. “They were a mistake. It never should have happened. We’re not a good fit, and should stay apart. I don’t like you the way I thought I did anymore.”

 “Like?” he choked out, tears rimming under his big eyes. “You love me. I love you , since before I even knew what it was.”

 She shook her head. “No. I’m done.”

 Cisco’s hand went to his mouth, like he was trying to hide the sickness he felt. And Caitlin had to take her bag and walk away from him, leave him alone in the hallway to go to homeroom, so she did, forcing her feet to shuffle away, legs heavy like lead.

 Mrs. DeVoe called attendance, and it was like every eye was on her, fear crawling up her skin. Caitlin stared down at her desk, waiting for her name to be called when Becky Sharpe sat down next to her.

 “Hi, Caitlin,” she said cautiously. “Thanks for coming to see me but I was fine, just my usual, bad luck, you know.”

 Becky had a bandaid over her nose, and Caitlin wanted to point out that it would do nothing for the break or to reduce bruising, but decided not to.

 “The meeting wasn’t about you,” Caitlin said, flat. “It was about me. I broke up with Cisco.”

 Becky’s eyes widened. She missed what followed, the aftermath, having had left early to be driven by her grandmother to the emergency room.

 “Why?!”

 “Because I had to.”

 She squeezed her eyes shut, nauseous, and only opened them to raise her hand when Mrs. DeVoe finally called out her name.

“But you told me he loves you,” Becky whispered when call was over. “Why would you give that up?”

 Hearing those words brought bile to Caitlin’s throat, and, suddenly, like a tidal wave, Caitlin was hit with terror over what she’d done. She scrambled from her seat, half grabbing her bag as she bolted, leaving her binder behind.

 Her teacher yelled after her to demand where she was going, and the chattering classroom hushed over, craning their heads in unison to stare.

 But she didn’t care, couldn’t care, wouldn’t care.

 She nearly tripped in her shoes, and crashed violently when she cut a corner, her shoulder jabbing harshly against an edge as she sprinted to the ladies washroom. She threw her expensive bag onto the dirty floor when she got there, things smashing inside, and put her hands in her silver streaked hair, trying to breathe. She stared at her reflection in the badly washed mirror, and couldn’t recognize herself. The black on her eyelids, over her nails clashing terribly with her yellow summer dress.

 How could she be so stupid? How could she think she could do both, one foot in each circle, like she could be the middle of a venn diagram. And why was she there in the first place? Why did she ever choose to ever think for one minute anything less than she knew was true?

Her mind was all over the place, not even able to hold onto a single train of thought. And then she couldn’t even do that, couldn’t even stand up anymore, shaking in this pathetic bathroom badly in need of renovations. Her chest was heaving and she tried to calm down, clutching her locket but broke down into sobs instead. Her back went sliding down one of the doors of the stalls.

 This was it. There was nothing left. Nobody left. And everything is her fault. She was alone now. Utterly alone. No Daddy, no mom, not really, no Barry or Cisco. That’s gone forever. Broken, worse than last April, far worse, because she looked into his eyes and told him nasty lies, tore his heart in two, stomped on it and just walked away instead. And how could he ever love her again?

 Who does she turn to now? And who would even care?

 Only Lexi and her minions, and maybe Becky Sharpe, who was nice enough to hand her a kleenex when she needed one yesterday, but for all intents and purposes, didn’t really know her.

 And, Lexi’s confession yesterday shook her. Caitlin threw up when she heard it, the fear in Lexi’s voice, and she knew that girl was defensive but she never knew why, didn’t understand why. And—She didn’t want to believe it, she really couldn’t dare, but what was Caitlin supposed to say, in the light of a second accusation? To let someone pour their heart out over their trauma and just brush it off like Lexi wasn’t sobbing when she’d told her what happened last Spring.

 And so maybe she were the true loser here after all. And maybe she was blind to what everyone else saw, what the whole school warned her of last year that she turned her head from until she listened, and maybe letting Cisco back into her heart was weaknesses, or a desperate attempt to hold onto her innocence, before everything once dear to her was poisoned forever.

 And she—She knew deep down this wasn’t right. That there was something wrong, but she didn’t know who to believe anymore, who to trust, but Cisco, liar or not, cheater or not, her boyfriend or not, was still Cisco and so she’d do anything she could to keep him safe.

 And she wasn’t safe for him, she was the opposite.  Caitlin wasn’t about to risk that, to put his everything on the line. So she had to give her phone to Lexi, and let her type in the words in the cafeteria before school started as the girls ate breakfast, after Lexi carefully asked why she hadn’t done it yet.

 And when Caitlin said because she couldn’t, desperate to cling to the one good thing she had left, Lexi asked for her phone to protect you Caitlin, come on, we have to look out for each other. It’ll hurt today, but make you stronger. We can get through this together. Caitlin’s lip trembled, but she forced herself not to feel, not to look, unlocking her passcode, which wasn’t Cisco’s birthday anymore, because she changed that last May, and she buried her head in her arms on the table and stared at the graffiti scribbled there until Lexi said done.  

 Caitlin had taken her phone back, after that. Slid it into her pocket, put it on airplane mode and refused to see what came after.

 Footsteps drew nearer down the hall then stopped. Caitlin looked up miserably when the door creaked open, bracing herself for whoever was about to see her in such a state.  

 It was Iris, and she stopped abruptly, her hand paused over the front zipper of her messenger bag, taking in the scene.

 “Caitlin?” Iris hurried to her side, crouching down in her cute flats. “What’s wrong?”

 Caitlin sobbed again, couldn’t help it, because she missed her but she missed Cisco too and how could she miss someone after screwing up her entire future with them?

 “We broke up,” she gasped, burying her head in her hands. “We’re even now.”

 “Oh my god, what?” Iris exclaimed, pulling her up. “Why?”

 Caitlin’s mouth thinned in a straight line, and she pawed at the paper towel dispenser, trying to clean her face.

 Iris went digging back into her bag, retrieving a makeup wipe.

 Caitlin took it gingerly.

 “Why won’t you talk to me anymore? Or to Barry?”

 Caitlin ran the cold tap, and stuck the towel over her eyes, water dripping down her arms, as she took a shuddery breath.

 She couldn’t tell Iris anything, Iris who was now the girlfriend of Barry, the best friend of Cisco.

 The warning bell rang. Iris picked up Caitlin’s abandoned purse.

 Caitlin reached for it, but Iris held it back.

 “Look,” Iris said. “If this is about Lexi—“

 “It’s not!”

 “If this is about Lexi,” Iris continued, unafraid of being snapped at. “You should know she’s not the kind of person you are. She’s superficial, Caitlin, she’s all about playing games. It doesn’t matter how much she says she likes you, she’s the only person who wins.”

 “This isn’t a game!” Caitlin wailed, the paper towel still damp over her forehead. She wished it were simple as that. That she could quit and put away a board into a cardboard box, and get back to real life, the one where she weren’t losing. “You don’t understand anything!”

 Iris grabbed Caitlin’s wrist, jerking her hold on the paper down so she’d no longer hide her face. Caitlin startled, looking up at Iris staring sharply at her, eyes falling to her grip. “I don’t understand because you won’t tell us.”

 Caitlin recoiled, yanking her hand back. “Stop pretending to care.”

 She stalked out of the bathroom, breathing in shakily, telling herself to suck it up, and rushed to her first period class.

 She walked into the science lab, trying to tell herself to calm down. It was chemistry. She was good at chemistry. And it was the first class of the semester, so most likely they’d review something really basic, like ionic compounds. She’d handle it. She’d totally be able to make it fine.

 She’d be okay.

 Caitlin kept repeating this in her head over and over until she half believed it, no longer on the edge of another panic attack.

 She lined up against the wall with the rest of the class along the radiator, her classmates chattering as the teacher finally called them to attention.

 “So,” Ms. McGee began. “As you can see this is the chemistry lab and we only have twenty five stations. This means every student will be assigned a partner for the remainder of the year. You will share equipment, perform experiments, write lab reports as well as complete two semester projects with your partner.”

 Someone rose their hand. “Can we choose our partners?”

 “No, it’s alphabetical order. Now let me do attendance. As your names are called I will direct you to the assigned work station.”

 Caitlin was suddenly more alert, something going off at the back of her mind. She peered around at her classmates, looking for Becky, Lily or Ronnie, already calculating that she’d be paired with one of them.

 The second half of the alphabet was prattled off. “Ronald Raymond?” The teacher looked at the remaining students, and Caitlin stepped back, shocked. Ronnie had never missed a day of school, rivalling Cisco for perfect attendance.

 “Hmm,” their teacher said. “Well, he’s absent so Mr. Ramon, why don’t you take station sixteen instead?”

 “Becky Sharpe, table two with the student teacher. We’d like to prevent further incidents, yes?”

 Caitlin’s eyes grew with horror, at what that meant. “Miss Snow, you can go join Mr. Ramon.”

 “What?” Caitlin blurted out, and the entire class went quiet, staring at her.

 Cisco stopped tying his lab apron, looking up at Caitlin, weary, like he went through the longest day and they’ve barely started first period.

 “Will that be a problem?” Ms. McGee prodded.

 “Can’t I work with Becky?” she pleaded, shooting a glance at Becky, who had already somehow managed to spill three separate beakers, giggling nervously as the student teacher watched her like a hawk. Caitlin cringed. Her nickname was definitely not uncalled for.

 “Miss Snow, I assigned you to table sixteen. I expect you to go there.”

 Cisco remained quiet, and Caitlin felt stuck in her spot, glued to the floor.

 “Miss Snow? Today please.” She looked back at her clipboard. “Lily Stein, table seventeen…”

 Caitlin forced herself to shuffle her feet forward and sat at the stool. She dropped her bag to the floor and stared at the table blankly.

 “Caitlin?” Cisco whispered. He put a hand to her shoulder, and Caitlin watched his hand there, just casually resting on her skin, like it belonged there.

 It did.

It didn’t.

 “This is just a class,” she forced out. “We’ll do our labs and that’s it, okay?”

  “Caitlin.”

 She looked up sharply, tears welling again in her eyes. “That’s it, okay?”

 He held out her lab apron and she took it because she had to, then tied her hair up in a ponytail.

 “So what,” Cisco said after awkward silence. “We’re just not even going to talk anymore? What the hell?”

 They were going to do a simple experiment, testing out the equipment by boiling water with bunsen burners. Caitlin tried not to yawn, she’d been using bunsen burners since elementary school. She thought this was AP Chem.  

 “Oh the silent treatment,” Cisco noted when she didn’t reply, chuckling to himself as he turned on the bio-sink tap. “My baby sister knows that game very well.”

 Caitlin took out her pencil case and dumped its contents out on the table, her lucky eraser falling out onto the floor, having shaken the bag a little too forcefully.

 Cisco got it for her, placing it in front of her on the table. “You look very pretty today,” he said, and his hair rustled a bit underneath the band of his goggles. He blew at it, pulling his curtain of hair out of his face. “You always do.”

 Caitlin furrowed her brows, digging her lead pencil into the paper, answering question one about required materials to perform the experiment in full sentences instead of the suggested point form.

 “You should really tie your hair up. It’s a lab hazard.”

 Cisco frowned. Caitlin returned to the worksheet.

 Cisco plugged in the burner, and placed the beaker of water onto the platform, drumming his fingers against the desk as the gas flame ignited.

 The water was just starting to boil when he took her hand. “Caitlin, what did I do? Did I hurt you? Because yesterday at lunch, it was like you could barely keep your hands off me, we were so happy, and I don’t understand what’s happened since.”

 Did he hurt her? Does she even know who he is anymore? Does she really believe what Lexi said? What Cisco did?

 It didn’t matter, she decided. In order for this to work, she had to act like he did.

 She stared at his hand over hers. Soft, and gentle and she pulled it away, unable to believe she couldn’t have him anymore.

 “I can’t—” she choked, her stool screeching back as she grabbed the handle of her bag and made a run for it yet again, throwing her apron onto the floor of the lab and bursting out the door, sprinting down the hallway.

 She didn’t go to the bathroom this time, just kept going, turning corners until she made her way out the back door, ending up in the field.

 She didn’t want to be here. She couldn’t be here. Not in chemistry class, not in the hallways, not even in that school. Her hands went to her face, but bumped against the hard plastic of the safety goggles, and she yanked them off. She took out her phone, wanting to dial her driver to pick her up, but hesitated.

 Her driver would tell her mom she skipped school.

 So she went to the App Store and downloaded Uber.

 She dug through her bag for her debit card, realizing she forgot her binder in her homeroom class, and her compact mirror had smashed, shards littered at the bottom. She dug out the card from her wallet, walking distractedly to the bleachers as she organized her contact information, setting up her account and plugging in her payment method.

 There weren’t any rides nearby, the closest car a good sixteen minutes away. She sighed, and raked her hand through her hair. The field was all but empty, a small gym class doing laps around the perimeter. She didn’t think she’d get caught, that people would find her here, but she wouldn’t know. Didn’t know what happened to runaways. She had always followed the rules. She had always done everything right, academically, anyways.

She’d get a detention. Or, her eyes widened, a suspension. A call home. Oh god, she was going to get yelled at. But it was too late to go back. Forget chemistry class, she wasn’t sure she’d even be able to show her face there again, her cheeks going red with downright mortification. She had talked back to Mrs. McGee, the teacher who she was eyeing on writing her letters of recommendation for Harvard.

 She could only hope Cisco didn’t get excused to come find her, because she really ran out of words left to say.

 Caitlin fidgeted, rubbing her exposed legs and missing her sweater left in her locker, wishing the minutes to go faster, staring at the icon of the blue mazda coming to pick her up from this hellsite so she could go home.

 She didn’t notice the person walking up the silver steps of the bleachers from the other end, though she should’ve, the aluminum creaky, going taunt underneath her feet at the weight of another body making their way down her row.

 “Hey, Caitlin.”

 She squinted up at Eddie Thawne, the sunlight filtering through his blond hair, smiling down at her with his boyish charm. He threw his Adidas sports bag beside her and made himself comfortable, their knees grazed for a moment, Eddie casually leaning his elbows back on the bleacher behind them, stretching out his legs.

 “You have free period now, too?”

 Caitlin lied and nodded, wrapping her arms around herself. “Hi.”

 They sat in silence for a minute, watching Wally West outrun his entire Sophomore class out on the field.

 “Listen, Eddie…”

 “You did the right thing.”

 “I don’t think so.”

 “No, you did.”

 Caitlin looked at him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “But it wasn’t my place. I did it to hurt Barry, but who I really hurt was you.”

 Eddie shook his head and rolled his eyes like it was nothing. But it wasn’t nothing because he wouldn’t look her in the eye, his foot tapping against the bleacher in a measured beat she knew was a nervous tick.

 “I never stood a chance. My head was in the clouds, dreaming up futures with her, thinking we’d go to schools together and stuff. It was naive as hell. You saved me from a lot of trouble this year.”

 “But you still love Iris.”

 “Yeah.”

 Caitlin sighed and Eddie saw her shiver in her sleeveless dress. He rummaged through his bag and passed her his varsity jacket. She took it because she was freezing, slipping her arms through the giant sleeves with a murmured thanks.

“No sweat,” he said, giving her an appraising look. “New haircut?”

 “You can say it.”

 “Wasn’t gonna!”

 “My dad hated it. Said it looked like I was--” she stopped and gave out a weak half laugh, rubbing at her own eyes, frustrating that all she could seem to do today was cry. “I was auditioning for the role of a space martian in an Ariana Grande music video. I didn’t even know he knew who Ariana Grande was.”

 Eddie laughed out loud, his voice rich and friendly. “I didn’t even know that you knew who she was. Everytime I see you, you’ve got your head stuck in some book.”

 “I’m not that bad.” She scrunched up her nose. “Cisco loves that stuff.”

 Her phone vibrated, saying her ride was 5 minutes away.

 “How are things with Cisco?”

 And she had forgot, for a moment, why she was out here skipping class for the first time, skipping school without an early dismissal.

She looked away, staring at the green grass. “We’re not together anymore.”

 “That’s too bad. You two were pretty solid.”

 “Yeah.”

 “Hey, I always knew Ronnie Raymond had a thing for you.”

 Caitlin’s eyes widened. “...Uh. Yes, but—”

 He saw her alarm and waved his hand at her, as if to say like, chill, I’m not telling you to get married.

 “You should think about it. We deserve a second chance, you know? Iris isn’t my future. Maybe Cisco isn’t yours.”

 Caitlin didn’t want to believe that.

 Caitlin’s phone beeped again, she jumped up in the sun in another boy’s jacket, eyeliner smudged under her eyes, unsure what to do.

 “I have to go—Uh, study.”

 She tried to school her face neutral, like she wasn’t about to walk off the school property and get into a weird car with a weird driver she won’t know, hoping she wasn’t screaming I’m gonna ditch school for the first time right now because as you can clearly  see, even if you are too nice to comment on it, I am an emotional wreck.

 “...On the second day of school?”

 “...Yeah,” she replied lamely.

 She begun to shrug off Eddie’s jacket, but he waved her off again.

 “Nah, keep it. We’re getting the new ones after practice today. You can give it back during another free period.”

 “...Oh. Alright. Bye Eddie.”

 Eddie slid on his sunglasses,  “See you later.”

 ~.~

 Uber wasn’t so bad. Her driver was steely quiet just like her own chauffeur. It was awkward, but she supposed that was the way it ought to be.

 Caitlin climbed the steps to her house two at a time but paused at the entryway. There was mail in Caitlin’s mailbox. Flyers and enveloppes shoved haphazardly into the black rectangle with her address number embossed in golden script. It was jarring, she wasn't used to it, as silly as that sounded. Usually, she’d come home to find everything pristine, the mail already picked up by one of the house staff, and anything delivered for her already sitting neatly on her bed.

 She reached in and took them out of the box, sorting through them. Most of it was junk, but there were lots of bills. Some for her mother, but most of them were addressed to her father, which panged her heart. One or two international cards with stamps in the corner were in the mix, and Caitlin realized they must’ve been late condolences from business partners of Tannhauser Industries.

 She paused when she found a blue envelope with her name on it and maneuvered her hold on all the other items under her arm. Ripping it open, she found a sunny little card which read “I promise not to ask you how you are. Instead I’ll entertain you with gossipy conversation and weird memes.”  

 She nudged the edge open with her thumb, and read the rest. Her eyes began to burn with tears when she recognized the handwriting she’d been lying to herself that  wouldn’t be inside.

  Caitlin,

Saw this at a Hallmark where I was passing time after dropping Rosita off at her Ballet class. I knew you’d like the tea bags after that debate we had over whether black or herbal tasted better. Also, I think you deserve a card. I’d mail you one everyday but I’ve been informed back in 8th grade by a certain someone that was obsessive. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I Love you &  hang in there.  We’ll do this senior year thing together and it’ll be better than last time, I promise.

Cisco

 Caitlin swallowed harshly, and sat down hard on the steps.

 This isn’t fair.

 Her breath caught as her fingers ran along the ink of his message but she couldn’t even look at it anymore, so she closed it, and covered her eyes with her palms. A sob slipped out, and then she couldn’t stop.

The front door opened, and a voice startled.  “Caitlin! What are you doing home?”

 Caitlin looked behind her shoulder, but no words came out. Molida’s surprised, stern face softened. Caitlin’s housekeeper hurried down the steps, sitting down next to her.

 “Miss Snow, what happened?”

 Caitlin exhaled shakily. “I couldn’t do it anymore. So I left.”

 Caitlin leaned into Molida’s side easily, her hair splayed against her shirt. Molida was warm and sturdy, with her arms wrapped around Caitlin. She may be the only person she had left in her corner. “Caitlin, I don’t understand. You’ve never skipped school.”

 Caitlin looked up, meeting kind eyes and noticing the curly hair braided down her back. Molida had pen ink on her right hand, and three rings on the fingers of her left. She forgot how young she was. Only about fifteen years older than herself, and, Caitlin thought, not for the first time, that maybe her life would be better if Molida was her mother instead. She sort of was, in a way. Having started working here ten years ago. Caitlin was only seven then.

 “I didn’t want to. But I couldn’t stay.”

 “And why not?”

 A car rolled leisurely down the street, and they both turned their heads to watch it pass by the gate. The sun was beating down stronger, and Caitlin no longer felt cold.

 “I wasn’t ready to go back.  It was so bad, please don’t make me go back.”

 “Caitlin, it’s school. You love school, and you need to--”

 “You’re not listening to me! I said, I can’t.”

 “Excuse me?” Molida gave her a long, evaluating look. “...Okay. You’ll stay home. But I have to call your mother. And then I’ll call the school to excuse your absence.”

 Caitlin bunched the sleeves of Eddie’s jacket into her hands, biting her lip, staring down at the pavement. She didn’t deserve that kindness, not after the way she snapped at her.

 “Caitlin, I just want to help you.”

 There was no way. Absolutely no way she could. Not with all of it. Not everything. Not...Not what really mattered. What really happened.

 But her heart was twisting apart like a fraying rope, and she was tired and scared, and exhausted. Her hand went to her locket around her neck, trying hard not to think about the two people in it, the two she had now lost permanently, in very different ways.

 Caitlin stood up silently and so did Molida, gathering the mail.  Caitlin shielded her eyes with her hand from the glare of the sun, meeting her gaze. “I don’t think you can.”

 ~.~

 Caitlin didn’t know how she got here.

 “Do you want another one?” Shawna asked, handing out a fresh red Solo cup. She wore a purple crop top, and skintight black jeans. Caitlin’s eyes lingered on silver rod of her belly button piercing, unsure whether to be awed or horrified. That couldn’t have possibly been painless.

 “Well, Snow? I’m trying to be generous, here.” Shawna’s eyes were a little glossy, her hair frizzier, half falling out of the bun she’d had it piled high on top of her head.

“Of course she wants,” Lexi swooped in, taking the cup and placing it in her lap. Caitlin’s fingers curled around the cylindrical shape, staring down into its contents.

 Caitlin sat stiffly on the couch of Tony Woodward’s parents’ home. She’d had three drinks already, two cranberry vodkas, the only alcoholic drink she’d learned she enjoyed at Lisa’s older brother’s birthday party last month.  It wasn’t awful, but even she knew it was badly mixed, leaning heavily to the side of pure liquor. Her third drink was the half warm cup of beer thrusted at everyone who entered the door that made her grimace the entire time she tipped it down her throat. “What is it?”

“The hell do I know,” Shawna laughed, “I didn’t mix it.”

 Caitlin glared at her.

 “Oh come on, liven up. Isn’t that the point? Remember how fun it was, at Len’s party?”

Caitlin didn’t know, honestly. She was so drunk she barely remembered. Cisco kept giving her odd looks when she never took her sunglasses off the next day.

 Becky Sharpe intervened, holding her hand out from the other end of the couch. “Hold up, if Caitlin doesn’t want to drink anymore then we let her do that, right? Like, I don’t drink anymore because I get alcohol poisoning from, like, one beer. So she’s fine. We can be sober buddies.”

 “What the hell is the point of coming to a Tony Woodward party if it’s not to get trashed?” Shawna yelled. “You need to stop being such a prissy ass, Caitlin!”

 The girls all stared at her expectantly as Flo Rida pulsated through the bluetooth speaker.

 And it was like. Okay. So Caitlin was new at this, but it’s not like she was an alcohol virgin, right? She’d take dainty sips of wines from her dad’s cup at home occasionally, and she did drink two weeks ago and Leonard Snart’s party.

 It’s just, it was a school night.

 And when Lexi came over, pulling her out of bed and fixing her hair, telling her she knew what would cheer her up, she didn’t say no. She wasn’t even sure if she could say no. But what was the use analyzing that? She didn’t say it anyway, so what was the point? It’s not like Caitlin was in the mood to start playing around with pushing her limits with these girls.

 She peered down into the cup.

 Alcohol made people forget heartache, isn’t that what they said?

 Caitlin took the glass and drank it all, then asked for another.

 And then another.

 ~.~

 “So when are you going to tell us whose jacket you’re wearing?” Lisa demanded, shrieking into Caitlin’s ear. She had finally returned from making her rounds with her lipstick smudged, making out with everyone who’d let her.

Caitlin blinked, looking down at her attire. “Oh my god.” She grabbed Lexi’s arm, shaking it. “Oh crap. It’s Eddie’s!?” she couldn’t believe she forgot. Why hasn’t she taken it off!? Everyone is going to start assuming stuff oh crap. Crap crap crap.

“Oh. My god??” Lexi jumped up and down on her seat cushion. “Spill the deets!”

 Caitlin took another gulp from her cup and frowned, thinking hard. “Well, I think--Like. He was just being nice, you know. And he….gave it to me.”

 Caitlin squeezed her eyes shut, feeling a little woozy. Was that what happened? It was, right?

 “When?” Lisa implored.

 Caitlin opened one eye. “This….morning?”

 “Oh, my god. Ohmigod he likes you!”

 Caitlin used Lexi’s arm for support to pull herself up. “No Because Iris! Doesn’t matter because Cisco.”

 She reached for her cup again, but maybe it was Lisa’s. Oops.

 “I thought you two broke up?” said Becky.

 “No!” Caitlin exclaimed, getting up on her feet. “Like, listen, okay. I can wear this jacket if I want. Because me and Cisco aren’t like, infinite anymore. Not for now. Maybe never.”

 “That’s right,” Lexi enthused, raising her solo cup to toast. “You’re an independent woman!”

 Lisa whooped, toasting with Lexi.

 “It’s stupid. It’s all so stupid. Why would we be infinite?” Caitlin ranted, starting to pace. “Every smart person talks about infinity like it’s a thing you know, like it’s real but they never got there. Infinite is like...Not….Achievable, so why are they lying?”

 “That’s so deep,” Lisa fawned. “But I don’t get it.”

Caitlin nearly tripped, sloshing her drink over the rim. This place was so crowded. And it was crazy because she didn’t care about any of these people. It’s like what Shawna said. She was such a nerd. She didn’t branch out and talk to people. No wonder she had no friends! Look at all the people here, they were so cool and interesting, and they weren’t Barry and they weren’t Cisco so maybe she could start scratch.

 Yeah. Caitlin was going to start scratch. Central City High School was pretty big, and half of her graduating class was crammed in this very house.

 She decided to share this revelation. “Okay! But, I think it’s like--Just because, like. Some things don’t work! Okay! Sometimes they don’t! And you have to accept that! You just start over! Like that song!”

 “Oh!” Lisa tilted her head, snapping her fingers and humming an indecipherable tune under her breath, trying to jog the words to memory. “I know! Thank U, Next?!?”

 “Yes!” Caitlin clapped her hands. “Thank U, Next. You know? You just,” Caitlin stopped abruptly bumping into Jake Puckett.

 His eyes went wide. “Snow? What are you doing here?”

 Okay why is everyone asking her that. Is she like, on the non invite list or something. As if, Tony Woodward could make a list.

 Jake’s eyebrows climbed higher, laughing with disbelief.

Ooooh no. She said that out loud didn’t she. She gasped, covering her mouth. “Ohmygosh. That was so rude.”

 “I like you drunk.”

 “I’m not drunk,” Caitlin asserted, “I’m--” She realized who she was talking to. “Hey! You. You….Gross….Ugh! Stop bothering Cisco! You’re not allowed to talk to me.” She shoved him hard out of her way, and he let her, surprisingly, turning on his heel. letting her go.

 She made a beeline into the kitchen to get something for her throat, still grumbling about that jerk. Her throat was burning and she wanted water. But this wasn’t her fridge and this wasn’t her kitchen and she didn’t know where the nice glasses were. Also. She wanted ice.

 But finding water was actually really hard, people were stuffed against each other around the table with liquor and she ended up with two more cups of stuff she spent that last hour and a half drinking.

 Caitlin gave up after aimlessly searching for about five minutes, slouching her head over the counter by the stove.

 Becky found her there moments later. “Hey, it’s getting late. I’m gonna head home. You wanna come?”

  “Ughhhh.”

 “....Is that a yes?”

 She wanted Cisco to take her home. A violent shudder went through her, and she bit her lip, fighting the urge to cry. She doesn’t understand why her head feels so funny and why she’s here and why the music is so god awful and loud. And why isn’t Cisco picking up her calls? She sent him twelve snaps and he hasn’t opened any of them so she deleted the app and then unfollowed him from Twitter. She looked up to tell Becky but she was gone.

 Lexi walked in then, worming her way though the crowd. She glanced at Caitlin, then turned to Shawna who was closely behind her. “Oh my god. She’s a mess.”

 “This is all your fault!” Caitlin yelled, banging her first against the table.

“Caitlin, you drank too much. God, when I said to have some fun tonight I didn’t mean for you to embarrass us.”  

 “I’m not!” she insisted, hiccuping loud sobs all over again. This wasn’t fun anymore. What was she even doing here? Was she out of her mind? She just wanted Cisco and she wanted to go home .  

 Tony peered in. “Is that Caitlin Snow screaming? Can she shut up? This house is loud enough, I’m afraid a neighbour is going to call the cops or something.”

 It was as if Tony wished it upon itself and it immediately came true.

 “Oh hell,” he cussed.

 Loud voices starting making a ruckus over the music and the bluetooth was immediately disconnected. Kids started to scramble, ditching their friends in an attempt to run out undetected, and four policemen stormed in like it was a raid.

Shawna grabbed Lexi by the hand, pulling her through the back door in the kitchen.

 Caitlin stood frozen, eyes wide with terror.

 A police officer looked down at his notebook, “Alright, where’s Woodward? I know this is his house--” he looked up and nearly dropped his pen.“Caitlin?”

 She looked up at officer West. That was a mistake. The look of disappointment on his face made her want to disintegrate.

 “Change of plans,” officer West said to his partner, jabbing his thumb out at Caitlin. “I know this one. She’s a friend of my kid.”

 Iris’s dad exchanged some words with his coworkers, then walked with Caitlin out of the house.

 The cold air hit her too hard, like she had just stepped off a rollercoaster at a Six Flags. She swayed, woozy, and she had to rely on the large hands guiding her into the cruiser car. “Do you have your phone?”

 “Its dead,” she slurred.

 “Alright.” He strapped her into the backseat. Caitlin shrunk into herself, fisting the seatbelt, and hiding her face into the leather material. She felt like a criminal.

 The ride was very quiet. Caitlin stared out the window watching all the lights whizz by.

 Eventually, about five minutes from her neighbourhood, Officer West spoke up.

 “Caitlin you are a minor. And you’ve consumed a hell lot of alcohol at an illegal house party unsupervised with a whole bunch of rough kids. You’re smarter than that.”

 “I called Cisco. He didn’t pick up.”

 Officer West adjusted his rearview mirror so he could look at her.

 “Why didn’t he?”

 “He hates me.”

 “Why on Earth would Cisco hate you? Lovers’ spat?” He chuckled, but quieted when she didn’t answer. “Caitlin?”

 “He hates me.”

 “Kid, I don’t think you’re hearing what you’re saying. That boy is so ridiculously in love it hurts my eyeballs to watch. There’s no way that’s true.”

 That angered her. Because she was hearing what she was saying, perfectly fine. And maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But one day very soon, Cisco’s blinding optimism she had fallen in love with will wither away, and for what she’d done to him, for the way she’s breaking the years they shared, there was no doubt in Caitlin’s mind that he was going to grow hate.

 “Don’t you think I wouldn’t do something crazy unless my life was falling apart?”

 Officer West paused, and pulled over on a side street. He twisted backwards and removed his black beanie.

 “Caitlin. I know you’re struggling because of your father. You have real, raw pain in your heart and I understand that. My father died too when I was young and I was only left with my mother. But you need to handle grief in another way. A way that won’t put you in danger or isolate you. One with support and people who actually care.”

 Caitlin blinked rapidly, her eyes welling with tears.

 “But Grandma Esther loves you and Iris. You were still loved.”

 Officer West’s face twisted. “You don’t think your mother loves you?”

 Caitlin’s shoulders started to tremble and she pulled her legs up, dropping her head to her knees, unable to voice her thoughts aloud.

  Nobody does anymore.

 Joe made a grunting sound, and turned back around, turning on the windshields to wipe away the sudden rain.

 “I'm gonna bring you home.”

 ~.~

 Officer West got buzzed in through the gate and Caitlin’s mother came running down the front steps, meeting them down the driveway.

 She gasped when she saw Caitlin and the state she was in. Her hair matted to the left, eyes incredibly red and puffy. And to make matters worse, she was still in Eddie Thawne’s jacket.

 “Carla, did you know your daughter was not at home?”

 Her mom crossed her arms over her satin robe, her reading glasses perched on the top of her head. “Our housekeeper informed me she had skipped school. It was my impression she was still here until half an hour ago.”

 Iris’s dad frowned. “You never realized she wasn’t home?”

 Mom shot him a look of disdain. “Officer West, I’m certain you’ve been in my home.”

 “Yes I have,” he replied, without a beat.

 “Then you know how large it is, and how easy one can slip away. Clearly, my child has lost the privilege to be entrusted with such responsibility of entering and leaving without permission. That ends tonight. Where were you?”

 Caitlin shivered in the cold, eyelashes still clumped together from tears, as she looked up at her. “...A party.”

 Her mother narrowed her eyes. “ Did Francisco put you up to this? And is that why you skipped? Some kind of senior’s prank? I don’t find that funny, Caitlin.”

 “Cisco had nothing to do with this,” she said, tired. Caitlin pushed past her mother, “I told you I’m not speaking to him anymore. And I don’t want to talk to you either.”

 She ignored whatever angered retort her mother threw at her back, going up the long driveway to go inside.

 Caitlin was certain she was going to throw up, but she never did. She went to her bedroom and walked past her mirror. She paused, staring at her own reflection, feeling sick in a different way from the twisting in her stomach. She still had the black over her eyelids, and the black on her nails and the gaudy yellow sundress she now hates over the stupid varsity jacket.

She yanked it off, throwing it to the ground and pushing it out of her sight. It didn’t belong on her. She shouldn’t have taken it. It felt like cheating. It was wrong. And it was wrong to get drunk and it was wrong to go to the party and it was wrong to skip school and it was wrong to yell at Molida and it was wrong to snap at Iris and it was wrong to embarrass Cisco in front of the entire chemistry class. It was wrong to think she was worth one penny to him anymore, and it was wrong to miss his touch and his goodnights in her ear before drifting off to sleep like every night since he’d first learned how to use Armando’s ancient iPhone in the seventh grade.

 But it wasn’t wrong to break up with Cisco. Her bottom lip trembled, and she turned her head away, unable to even look at herself.

 She crawled into bed, curling into a ball on her side, with everything else still on. Even the lights.