#basil grim pitch

[harriet13rjw]

“No one is seducing a vampire.” -Simon

meanwhile… cough cough ⬆️

and YES I did change their uniforms because their original ones are butt ugly. this is also my first Simon and Baz fanart. :) it was really fun.

[nostalgink]

Now that Art Fight is back up I can finally post all of my art fight attacks!!! This year I more than doubled the amount of attacks I do and I'm so proud of myself. I finally told my brain not every single attack had to be a fully rendered piece, so I had much more fun with it this year!!! In Order of image below the cut:

Rosetta, Veronica, and Madame Blue: @oopsallmudkips, @veronicamouse , @honestlyspookymentality

J. Fowler: @gallivamp Quasicosmo: @megaceros Silvester Sharpe: @aikaikaik-art Magentus and Mal: @mistress-negs Daisy Bell: @robot-rocket Prissy, Dina, Basil, Vailea Grim, and Pitch: @tealottie @odorrana @sparklingsora @venum0us @octofiend Mousey: @/avengineering (instagram)

Cherry: @mossys Lady: @citricconnor Berry: @miyakoqualcker Lullaby Lopsy: @killbent

Cynthia Crimson and Magentus: @cryptella (instagram) Megavolt's Son and Magentus: @puffywuffy8904

Rosalyne Starlight: @/ziggy_saturn_star (instagram) Natalia: @georgiarose

[bookish-bogwitch]

Hello! Thank you for the tags @martsonmars @facewithoutheart @artsyunderstudy and @stitchyqueer. It's so fun and inspiring to see what you are up to.

First, it's the fall equinox, aka the 26th anniversary of Simon's conception ritual in the White Chapel. Best wishes and grim sex to all who celebrate.

Second, I've made tons of progress on Basil Pitch's Diary, despite having very few finished words to actually share. How? I figured out that I am very much a plotter and more of a re-writer than a writer, and so benefit from a very very detailed outline. I'm trying the Snowflake Method for outlining a novel longfic. While many people would find so much structure unnecessary, if not smothering, it's really working for me. I've also learned that (1) a format is not a plot, and (2) it is better to write the jokes around the plot than vice versa.

ALSO! I have not touched my promptfest WIP because I figure if I have such good momentum in this one, I should go with it. But I can feel that change in the weather coming on, and am also getting homesick for Simon's POV, so--SOON.

Anyway, here are some sentences from my BPD outline--some in Baz's voice, some notes to myself a la @whatevertheweather. Words & tags below cut.

Ugh did I forget VERA???

Baz is an UNRELIABLE narrator. Don’t forget this.

Make it c r u s t y.

Rabbit blood: fine but not as good as dog tbh. Haven’t had one of those in a while. Try to get only strays, which are few and far between in prosperous Hampshire, thank you Bob Barker.

Whoring around might be good for getting over Simon but (1) cannot whore until over him, is catch-22, and (2) should probably not hook up with someone who looks like Simon, although is objectively most attractive way to look. Fuck fuck fuck.

Was stupid to ever think I could get over Snow. Is impossible if past self keeps rubbing present self’s nose in Snow’s [REDACTED].

High-fives to @palimpsessed @takitalks @johnwgrey @bazzybelle @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @fatalfangirl @cutestkilla @forabeatofadrum @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ileadacharmedlife @moodandmist @urban-sith @captain-aralias @aristocratic-otter @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @confused-bi-queer @creepyspice @sillyunicorn @frjsti @basiltonbutliketheherb @technetiumai @dragoneggo @ic3-que3n @nightimedreamersworld @whogaveyoupermission @wetheformidables @hushed-chorus

[mageicalwishes]

Day 1, Found Family - New Traditions

The Gang start a new Festive tradition filled with love, laughter, music, food & fun.

Day 2, Distance - Say I Love You When You’re Not Listening

Baz reflects on the events of Wayward Son, and the hopelessness he feels. "A trip to try and save him - To save us. A last ditch effort to put some of the sunshine back in to his soul. Rammed together in economy, the press of his knee firm against mine, but his mind miles away. His eyes ever averted. Touching yet so far apart. I just wish I knew where I went wrong."

Day 3, Retellings - Changing History

The Mage's publicized documents reveal a myriad of painful truths about the loss of Natasha Grimm-Pitch and the origins of Simon Snow.

Day 4, Side Characters - Thawing Of A Heart

Malcolm & Daphne. “I’d always known that I would remarry eventually. It was my duty for the good of the family. Basil needed a mother. And I needed … someone. It was a simple, logical decision - To find a woman of good breeding, and give her the Grimm name. To carry on. But, through all my planning and preparation, I had never anticipated that I would fall in love. Never anticipated her."

Day 5, Sleepless - Tonight He Is Mine

"I can’t sleep. I can never sleep these days, not how I want to anyway - It's always either that I’m knocked out for 15 hours, waking up disoriented and heavy, or that I can barely catch a moment's rest. But today is different. My body is tired, and my mind is too. If I let myself, I’d be gone. But I won’t. I can’t. Tonight is my last night with Baz, and I don’t want to miss a minute of it."

Day 6, WLW - To Her, I Taste Of Nothing At All

Fiona & Ebb. "But then, before I even knew what was happening, she was kissing me back. And Crowley, I swear I melted. She tasted of cigarette smoke and spiced rum - Like fire personified."

Day 7, Animal(s) - Family Dog

My interpretation of ‘I was a 15-year-old closet case whose parents pretended they didn’t notice when the family dog disappeared’. “A shallow grave. So much less than she deserves. But … I can’t breathe. I can’t even think. I’m running on autopilot and adrenaline alone. Everything is just - I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how I got here. I'm losing control. I can't - I can't even look at her. She's still wrapped in my sheets. I can see her bleeding. I still want it. I still want more."

Day 8, Rain - From Across The Courtyard

"When I first met him, it was hammering it down. I was rushing to the main door in a desperate attempt to rescue my suede shoes, umbrella snagging against the wind, when I heard it - An impolite 'Oi! Are you new?'"

Day 9, Kids/Childhood - At The Top Of A Tower

Simon reflects on the few happy memories he made with Baz at Watford.

Day 10, Crossover - I’ll Give You The Stars

A loose crossover between Carry On and parts of I'll Give You The Sun. “He’s haloed under the streetlights, and I’m trying not to stare. But, it’s hard. His face is celestial - The sunshine of his soul peeking through his features. I want to say more, just so that he doesn’t leave. Our houses are right there but, I feel so ... multicoloured."

Day 11, Fluff - Keeping Warm

Simon & Baz spend a tentative first night together after the events of the forest fire. “He’s sighing against me, and sliding a hand up towards to my neck to hold me closer against him, and - Fuck. He’s freezing. I jolt backwards without meaning to. Staring down at him in awe - His pupils blown wide, and a faint (But definitely present) blush spread across his cheeks."

Day 12, Wings - The Guests Can Wait

"Weddings are even more exhausting than I had imagined. What with the panicked last minute search for Simon’s vows (Which ended up being in the mini-fridge of all places), and having to parade ourselves around all of our well-wishing friends and family. All I want to do was get him alone. To tell him, without the presence of a hundred witnesses, how much he means to me - How much the fact that we’re here, together, after everything, means to me."

Day 13, Below the Surface - Below The Surface

"Las Vegas is a sham of a city. Outside it’s all bright lights and glitzy shows - Normal magicians and celebrity chefs. But, beneath its shiny exterior, it’s nothing more than a grim desert, filled with counterfeit culture, and people burning through money they don’t really have. The Katherine is no exception."

Day 14, Constellation(s) - Mirror, Mirror

Simon struggles with his body image Post-Carry On. “Sometimes I just … get so mad at them (At myself, really). I wish that they’d just grow up and tell me like it is. Tell me how much I’ve disappointed them. Tell me that they no longer want me."

Day 15, Hurt/Comfort - First Aid

Simon cares for Baz's Buckshot wounds. Less angsty re-write of the scene in Wayward Son. “I glare at him - At his blackened under eyes, and matted hair. The slight hunch of his back. It does hurt. I know it does. Liar. I move my face closer to his, and breathe in his air. I want to hug him. To kiss him. To cheer him up, somehow. Make him better. But I can’t. I don’t know how. So, instead I step away. My hands dropping limply, to my sides."

Day 16, Meme/Crack - Baby, You Can Pick Me Up Any Day

Oovoo Javer? Oovoo Javer. AKA: Baz is Simon's slightly dickhead-ish Uber driver. “I kept trying to talk to him - Asking about his night, and whether he always listens to Classical music, or if it was just for show - but he ignored me. Staring unamusedly at me in the mirror, eyebrow raised and lips tilted downwards. He got 2 stars for that trip."

Day 17, Blanket Fort - Torch The Night-Filled Fort

Baz surprises Simon with a living room blanket fort transformation. “I turn to him, beaming. ‘Baz, what? What is this?’ He hums against me. ‘Blanket fort. You’re terribly inobservant, Snow.’ ‘Yeah, but … I mean, why?’ ‘Well, it’s been a year now since we left for America, and we’ve come a long way since then. Thought it was worth celebrating,’ he confesses, smiling shyly down at the floor.”

Day 18, Side Ships - You Got A Boyfriend?

Shepard & Penny. Shepard asks Penny a very important question (Well, in his mind, anyway).

Day 19, Misunderstanding - Wrong Bottle, Moron

Simon makes a VERY stupid mistake while showering. Cue, Baz coming to his rescue.

Day 20, Technology - Screenless

Baz and Simon have been chatting online for a year. It's finally time to meet IRL and take their relationship into HD reality.

Day 21, Warmth - Out In The Cold

Fangirl era. Simon and Baz get stuck in a snowstorm, and have to find a way to stay warm.

Day 22, Unlikely Friends - You’re My Bro

Shepard comes over to hang out with his bro ... Baz?

Day 23, Cooking/Baking - What’s Cookin’ Good Lookin’?

Simon is making dinner. Baz is soft.

Day 24, Song - He Made It Easy, Darlin’

Simon & Baz struggle with trying to take the next step in their relationship. Inspired by Easy by Troye Sivan

Day 25, Parallel Universe - Parallelt Univers

Simon and Baz spend the day recovering in bed, after their first kiss. Inspired by the 'Parallel Universes' talk from Skam.

Day 26, Break - I Think We Should Break Up

Simon is trying to do what's right for Baz. Baz disagrees.

Day 27, Snowstorm - Searching In The Snow

Simon has lost his cat. So the only obvious choice is to hammer on his neighbour's door at 2AM ... And Baz is not impressed.

Day 28, Party - Festivities, Food, and Family. Chapter 1

"I’m over the bloody moon. After everything that happened after we left Watford, I wasn’t sure that I’d ever get to see this Snow - a truly joyful Snow - again. And it broke my heart. Yet, here we are, spending our fifth anniversary together, surrounded by friends and family in our own little London flat."

Day 29, Secret Santa/Gift Giving - Festivities, Food, and Family. Chapter 2

Day 30, Any Way the Wind Blows - Worst Road Trip ... Ever!

Shepard is NOT enjoying his trip back to England with the Gang. "I feel like a kid again, sat in the back of my mothers pick-up, hyped up on sugar, but belted down to the seat. Unable to run. Constantly being shushed."

Also huge thanks and praise goes to everyone involved in running the @carryon-countdown Countdown this year!!! I really enjoyed taking part :)

[ao3feed-carryon]

Carry On: Dungeons and a Dragon

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2GbusQZ

by Killa_Queen_Squad

I, Tyrannus Basil Grim-Pitch, have discovered something extraordinary in an old dungeon under one of the castles in the United Kingdom. With the help of Penelope Bunce and Agatha Wellbelove, two girls I went to Watford with, I discovered a creature. A powerful being, half human-half dragon.

Words: 1293, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon Snow, The Mage (Simon Snow), Lucy Salisbury, Penelope Bunce, Agatha Wellbelove, Mitali Bunce, Natasha Grimm-Pitch, Fiona Pitch

Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Eventual Smut, Romance, Fluff, Fighting, Dark Creatures

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2GbusQZ

[thegreatlawn]

Favourite (Carry On) Christmas Cracker Jokes/ Puns

What do you call a wonderful vampire? Fangtastic

How did the vampire welcome his guests? Fangs for coming for dinner.

Where do vampires go for their business? The batroom

Why do vampires not like Taylor Swift? Because she’s got bad blood.

What do vampires do between shifts? Take a coffin break.

What is a vampires favourite dog? A bloodhound

What is the greatest sight for vampires in NYC? The Vampire State Building 

What’s a vampires favourite cocktail? Bloody Mary

Why did the vampire reject the date invitation? Because they were not their blood type

What do you call a single vampire? A batchelor

Bonus:

Why so grimm, Pitch?

What happens if you make Baz angry? Basil leaves

Walrus are like vampires but cooler.

What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite

What do vampires put on their turkey on Christmas? Gravey

[orderfromchaos-radio]

I N C O M I N G   B R O A D C A S T …

Good evening, listeners. This is WWN news, with me, your host, Basil Aldertree. Welcome to our program.

Last Thursday’s Quidditch match was one marked by conflict and tragedy. The match between national teams Puddlemere United and the Holyhead Harpies wasn’t even past the coin toss when Harpies captain Constance Garroway attacked former Harpies chaser, Wilda Griffiths. The teams immediately fell into fighting that took twenty three referees and mediwizards to end. All fourteen players are facing serious injuries, as well as four referees and seven of the mediwizards. The players had to be separated by teams at the hospital, to keep another fight from breaking out, though I doubt any of them were actually in fighting shape after the would-be match took place.

Puddlemere chaser Wilda Griffiths is still in intensive care and is being treated for several broken ribs, a punctured lung, and a broken collarbone, as well as various bruises and cuts all over her body. We’re not sure about the exact extent of her injuries, and none of her attending healers-- or the hospital itself-- were willing to give a statement. Her agent had nothing to say on the incident, and the publicists giving statements on behalf of Puddlemere United have been equally tightlipped about whether or not Griffiths will have a future with the team, or even in Quidditch itself after this most recent incident.

In fact, no players were available for interviews, though new Harpies chaser, Gabrielle Garcia, had a statement released by her agent claiming that she will not be playing another match with the Harpies. Garcia was treated for a broken leg and four of her fingers broken. Given the injuries Garcia sustained, she has been granted her request for her contract to be voided within ten minutes of her agent presenting it to the Harpies coach. It should be noted that the Harpies have also decided at this time to quietly drop their lawsuit against Wilda Griffiths for breaking her contract by signing with Puddlemere United. 

Harpies captain Constance Garroway has been suspended from playing indefinitely, as she is currently being detained before being sent to trial for charges of attempted murder. She was heard screaming that she would kill her former teammate Griffiths as she was removed from the pitch, and it was Garroway that began the fight in the first place. Garroway’s agent had nothing to say, and in fact actively ran from reporters attempting to ask her questions. The Harpies’ publicist, however, released the following statement : 

“That’s not what we teach our girls when we tell them to leave it all on the pitch. Whatever consequences Garroway faces will be because of her actions, and we want to make it very clear that this sort of behavior and Garroway’s outburst is not something we would ever approve of or permit. We’ve filled her position as captain of the Harpies with someone we believe upholds the honor code of our team. If Garroway is cleared of all charges, she will not have a place in the League to return to. This sort of thing is just not acceptable.”

NQL President Kara Murray was asked for a statement as well on the incident. As usual, our least favorite spokeswoman for our favorite sport had very little helpful commentary to add. Listen in.

“If it fills the seats, it fills the seats, but I’d rather the players actually did what we were paying them for, and what people are paying to see. This isn’t boxing. It’s Quidditch, and you need to actually be in the air for that sort of sh--”

                  “You can’t swear on the program.”

“Why the fuc--”

And that’s where we leave it with statements from our NQL President. 

Muggleborn-Purist tensions are at an all time high in this past week, and there have been dozens of reports of muggleborn-targeted violence. The DMLE is working harder than ever to keep these attacks under control, and once again urge people to report these things to the Ministry to help them do their jobs better. 

Unfortunately, we bring you one more piece of bad news this week. Junior correspondent for the Daily Prophet, Douglas Dougall, has been reported missing. He was last seen on Friday, May third, leaving work around nine in the evening. Douglas is seventeen years old. We’ve put a picture of Douglas up in our window, and the Daily Prophet also have a photograph of Douglas up. If anyone has seen him, please report it to the DMLE immediately. 

I wanted to leave everyone with a bit of good news to finish off the program. It’s been a dark week, and things have been grim for everyone. Hundreds of letters were sent out last week to people all over London with disturbing messages. I’m sure many of you received them. So, what we’ve decided to do here at the WWN is post as many messages on our wall as possible. You can come in and put your own letter up, or if you’d rather it was anonymous, there is a box outside the door to our offices where you can put your note. These aren’t something we should let scare us. Some bits may ring true, but is it accurate? I say no. And, in the spirit of that, I’m going to read my letter here for all of you now. 

Funny how the one muggleborn reporter gets replaced by a pureblood. How does it feel benefitting off the death of a muggleborn?

Many of you will remember my predecessor, Tobias Greenhall, who was killed last year while trying to protect his fellow reporters. And no, it’s not pleasant that those were the circumstances that led his position on this show to open up. But someone does need to tell the news, and whether it’s me or someone else, right now this is what I’m doing. And while the author of this letter may find it funny for me to do so, I’m doing this job because I’m qualified. Though I am touched that you went through all the effort to find out what my blood status is, clearly a lot of time and effort was put into this. I would send you a letter back with all of the things you could be spending your time doing instead of writing rude letters to people, but I unfortunately don’t have a return address. You’re welcome to stop by the office for a chat, though, I’m sure it would be a very productive discussion. 

And unfortunately, we are out of time. Stay tuned for Witching Hour, coming to you next on WWN, followed by Toots, Shoots, ‘n’ Roots at nine. Until then, this is Basil Aldertree signing out, and wishing the players of Holyhead Harpies and Puddlemere United swift and successful recoveries. Safe travels, listeners.

                                                ( aired 11 May1980 )

[harriet13rjw]

Another one of my favorite ships. 😍🔥☕️

Simon and Baz, the vampire and the dragon boy. They’re from my favorite book of all time called Carry On. There So Awesome. I have never seen two people so made for each other in my entire life.

P.S! THIS IS NOT MY ART! I felt the need to clarify…

here is artist: Akhi