#basically i'm throwing theories at the wall to see what sticks

[a-lilac-lyric]

 Possible explanations for why King Roland made his first wish on the Wishing Well

Now all of these aren't so much theories per say as “throwing stuff on a wall and seeing what sticks” because the showrunners could not delve into topics like this in the actual runtime, and it probably wouldn't have been very relevant to the story that they were trying to tell anyway, so nearly every theory has an equal likelihood to be true more or less.

  (I'm also not going to mention this in my write ups for the possible reasons for the wish, and we have no way of proving this one way or the other, but I'm always inclined to prefer the thought that Roland II had discussed making the wish with Lorelei before he actually made it since it would be something that would affect both of them. Even if it only physically affected one of them. Because this just seems like the type of thing you should tell your partner about if you do it).

 This is a long post (Over 2000 words), so I'm putting it under the cut, but TLDR there are several different magical and physical reasons that are possible.

 General content warning for discussion of topics that are too dark/medical to ever be shown in a kids show. Spoilers for Forever Royal.

 We should first start off with what the wish was in the first place in case you don't know or need a refresher. Word for word, this is how it's stated in the flashback scene in the episode Forever Royal:

  “In the nearby castle lived King Roland the Second, who had wanted a family so badly he tried making a wish in a wishing well. The wish came true, and twins were born. But the Queen fell gravely ill….* The children were happy but never knew what it was like to have a mother.”

 * The quote never says that she is dead in so many words, but the visual on screen is of the queen arranged on a bed with her eyes closed, holding flowers. There's basically no other way to interpret it except that she's been laid out for a funeral.

 Now, as a note, we never actually get to hear what her name is in the show, but the creator of the show Craig Gerber made a Twitter post saying that her name was Lorelei https://x.com/CraigGerber_/status/1038831208430370817?mx=2 (as a personal note I normally consider stuff that show creators or writers say on Twitter or other social media as secondary Canon, but I basically completely accept this because we don't have any alternative name, and it works. And I'm sure that they'd use it in the sequel series if they ever talk about her.) So I'm going to be referring to her with that name for the rest of this post.

 When analyzing this quote, it seems that “wanted a family” basically means “wanted to have biological children” since we know he already has a wife and family members like a sister and a mom. I just think it's interesting that they word it this way because it kind of masks what his actual wording would have been to the wishing well. Because in the episode “When you wish upon a well” the well did grant Amber’s second wish in a way that fulfilled the basic criteria of her wish, and yet caused an unintended side effect that deeply distressed Amber and put Sofia in danger. So, it could possibly be that the way Roland wished for children could also be interpreted as accidentally directly causing Lorelei’s death. But we don't know what the words were, so we don't know if that was what happened or not. “Fell gravely ill” is a vague enough statement that it can basically be interpreted to fit any kind of theory.

 So without further ado, here are almost all of the ways I could think of that could be motivation for making the wish. (AKA infertility theories.)

Magical reasons:

 In this world, magic is an everyday fact of life, so they could have been unable to have kids because of a curse! Now it could be a curse on either Roland or Lorelei, and then the curse was just too strong to be broken by regular magic, but the Well’s magic was strong enough to get past it, (permanently or temporarily). The possible motives could be basically anything. It could have been cast by a jealous ex-lover, or a person who thought that the union was bad for political reasons.

 But I did come up with a fun little theory that maybe it was a curse that was intended to be benevolent, behold: The Double Bloodline Curse!

 We know that the throne of Enchancia passes from oldest child to oldest child, and the same seems to be true for the royal wizard as well. Both lines are hereditary, and both are always parallel to each other. It makes sure that the reigning monarch always has a royal wizard and vice versa. But it is interesting because Roland the First and Goodwin the Great are approximately the same age, same with both of their sons, and both of their granddaughters to an extent, although the age difference is seemingly larger between Amber and Calista.

 Now this could be just a coincidence that the people in these families born for 3 generations are very close in age, but what if it wasn't? What if there was some kind of spell or curse set on the people from both bloodlines so that they wouldn't be able to have children until their counterpart(s) was/(were) also in a position to be able to have children. Let's say that Roland the Second married and tried to have kids, but both Cedric and Cordelia were not married or seeing anyone and/or just neither of them were interested in having children at that time. Therefore, the curse activated to prevent Roland II from having any children.

 And this curse was probably put on the line by an actual royal wizard from it, assuming that it would be better off for both families and the sake of the kingdom if the new monarch and the new wizard were always peers age wise so that they could both ascend to their positions at the same time. Is that flawed reasoning and ultimately going to hurt their families more than help them in the long run? Absolutely! But it wouldn't be the craziest or worst thing that someone from either of these families has done.

 It's definitely possible for it to be magical reasons and would be interesting to explore in fanfic, but this isn't the only possibility.

Biological reasons that are linked to infertility:

 The first one is what if Lorelei was unable to biologically have children.

 It's popular fan-cannon (and I have seen it used in several fan fictions), that Lorelei was too physically weak for her body to/she had some kind of physical condition that meant she couldn't bear children. But the wish overrode that condition and after giving birth she was so weak that whatever possible illness/birth complications/regular pregnancy recovery happened afterwards she wasn't strong enough to survive it.

 In my opinion this one seems plausible, but I personally do not like it and do not think it makes sense for the characters. If she seemed medically unfit to give birth before the wish, then it would be ludicrously irresponsible for Roland II to make a wish for her to have the kids that didn't also strengthen her in a way that she could have them and survive. Additionally, I believe that if there was a lot of worry throughout the pregnancy that she might not be able to survive it, that Roland would have just made a second wish for her to be strong enough.

 Some may argue that it wouldn't have been possible to strengthen her enough to be able to survive giving birth, but may I point out that the wishing well has the ability to turn a regular human girl into a cat. Like literally change your species. Strengthening someone enough so that they can survive a pregnancy seems pretty minor compared to turning someone into a cat.

 And Roland is normally pretty good at noticing when people he loves are in distress, he'll stop what he's doing and talk with them and try to make the situation better. Now if Lorelei was hiding her physical symptoms from everyone for whatever reason, it could be possible to do that with others especially servants who she didn't spend much time with, but considering how much time Roland spends with Miranda he probably spent the same amount of time with his first wife. If they were in close proximity to each other that often for months on end he would notice if something was wrong and ask her about it and try to solve the problem. Therefore, I personally don't subscribe to it in my own headcanons.

 Another interpretation of this is that Lorelei was the one who is unable to have children, but it was because of some type of condition that was not due to weakness but another type of biological factor(s). The wish allowed her to have the kids, but then she died because the Well directly took her life as a price for the wish/because of how the wish was worded. Or she just happened to get unlucky and die from one of the several medical reasons that a person can die from giving birth no matter their physical strength. It's pretty similar to the first one but I am much more inclined towards it.

 But what if Roland was the one who was biologically unable to have children?

 This one doesn't seem to be explored in any fan fictions I've seen but I think this one is interesting to consider as well. I think most people's reasoning is that if Lorelei died from the wish, then the wish must have just physically affected her and therefore cause [wish] equals effect [death], but if it was going to take her life as a price/consequence for the wish anyway, it may not have necessarily needed to have affected her physically at all. Or the Well never took her life at all, she just got really unlucky and died from random chance. And there's plenty of medical reasons that men can be unable to have children. We don't know what kind of medical knowledge they have in Enchancia, but it may not have been advanced enough to find a solution for Roland or even know that he was the one who was infertile.

 He could have caught an illness as a child that had adult infertility as a side effect (angst potential. If he was also isolated for a long period of time away from other kids this could also partially explain why he became estranged from Cedric). Or it could be a genetic reason, like being intersex (I say as I read that one of the most common noticeable effects of Klinefelter syndrome is being tall. And it would fulfill a certain letter for possible LGBTQIA+ headcannons). Or he could have been severely overworking and under eating (there are a few times in the show where he does this, albeit not to a self-destructive extent, and that’s after he’s had kids and been king for years, also angst potential).

 If this was true, then it could also be possible that he was only temporarily able to have kids depending on how the wish worked. Or depending on the wording of the wish he might only be able the have kids with Lorelei exclusively. So if he and Miranda wanted to make a kid together, they might not be able to (more angst), unless another wish was made (but I doubt he would risk it).

 And a really dark possibility for Roland being infertile is that maybe the wish did NOT make him fertile but instead had a, what I am going to describe as a “love potion” effect on Lorelei and she got pregnant from someone who was not Roland. Now I think that this possibility is really horrifying for a number of reasons, but I've never seen it used in a fanfiction before and I'm not sure if anyone else has ever thought of it, but it exists now. I say that Amber and James do look like Roland, but I would also say that they definitely look more like Lorelei than him, so if you wanted to do a horrifying big drama fanfic this is a possibility for that.

Biological/other reasons that are not infertility:

 But what if their trouble with having children wasn't linked to infertility?

 There is the possibility that Royal Prep/other schools they had gone to had such a terrible sex education class that neither of them knew how to get pregnant and at this point were too afraid to ask. So they wished for it instead. I think this one only works if you're going for an adult humor fanfiction because, this just seems really unlikely to me. Even if they hadn't been educated in school, they would probably still ask someone or have been told by someone or have read it in a book by this point. Especially since part of their job as ruling monarchs is to produce heirs, I'm sure someone in the court would have explained it to them if they didn't know.

 Another slightly more reasonable but still unlikely reason is that maybe one or both of them was asexual. So they needed another way to start the pregnancy and decided magic was a good way to do it. I feel like if this was true then they could have just solved this by going to an actual wizard or doctor and getting help from them, so I don't think this is very likely but I'm trying to go through all the possibilities here.

 But on a far more serious note there as been a possibility I've been thinking about lately that does seem likely considering how often it happens in real life. It could be possible that Roland and Lorelei had already tried to have children, and she was able to get pregnant, but it ended in a miscarriage or a stillbirth. Maybe she was already pregnant by the time Roland made the wish, and he wished that this time it would be a successful pregnancy. The way he looks in the flashback makes it seem like Roland is really sad and kind of desperate about the whole situation and if this possibility was true, then it adds an extra layer of sadness to the whole ordeal.

 ****Also, this isn't attached to any single theory but I wanted to add this: I think that whether the wish caused Lorelei’s death or she died from completely natural causes, it must have happened fairly quickly. If the illness that she got after giving birth lasted a long time, then wouldn't there have been enough time for Roland to have made another wish to save her? Meanwhile if it happened very quickly or without much warning then he may not have had enough time to save her. If it happened quickly, it would also mean that there was less of a chance for the doctors or midwives or sorcerers to do anything to save her.

 *****And regardless of whether it actually was the magic of the wish that killed her or it was from the same causes that any non magical birth can suffer from, I think Roland believes that it was his fault that Lorelei died. He probably doesn't know for sure whether it was the wish that did it or not, but that wouldn't matter if he felt like it was his fault. His exact words to Amber about it were: “My wish didn't turn out so well either.” But we know that he loves Amber and James, and he's very proud of them, so the quote isn't about being a father to them or their existence. So the only other possibility for him saying that it didn't turn out well is what happened to Lorelei.

On that note, those are all the reasons I could think of. Feel free to say in the reblogs or comments which one you think is most likely and/or which one is your favorite. Here's a cookie for getting to the end of this post 🍪

[menlove]

heyy what are your thoughts on the bridge to paul's 'however absurd'? to me it feels like the most revealing thing paul has ever sung and lends creedence to the 'fucked once and it ruined everything' theory but then again it might be one of paul's "universal lyrics"...

I agree though that 'paul rejects john' is unlikely (because what exactly would john have asked of him in 1968? "will you be my bf"?) but potentially they 'went there' *properly* only once and said nothing about it and couldn't really gage what the other was thinking about it?

I definitely do think it's very interesting and lends credence to that line of theorizing! I don't necessarily Share the theory but I think it's a good addition for those that do. esp this bit is interesting:

like the song is very beatle-y and he specifically compares it to I am the walrus (& john & "julia", and their affinity for that line).

for me I do wonder if the wording of "made love" could be key like just for my own interpretation. like I Do think they'd been fucking for a while but it'd be interesting if they had one Moment where it was more than that, the distinction between fucking and making love. like going back to not the bridge bc he says the bridge is just revealing what the Rest is about

yk that's basically: I'm on edge, don't mock me when I say I'm not joking, both of us are being purposefully obtuse and Ignoring This. so it could, to me, be more about the feeling rather than having sex. like at some point they Tried to broach it and it made things awkward as fuck

what's interesting though like just as an aside is "do not mock me when I say this is not a lie" vs I'm so tired

and I Am like sooo convinced "I'm so tired" is more about paul than it is about yoko so it'd just be kind of painfully ironic if they both just expected the other one to mock them if they spoke about their Actual Feelings

ofc this is all just me throwing shit at the wall and seeing if it sticks bc I have no clue! but it's definitely interesting to think about and a very eyebrow raising song, especially in that he specifically relates it to john, I am the walrus, and "half of what I say is meaningless but I say it just to reach you" like 😐

[swordswoman97]

Pirates SMP Chekhov's Guns

So I decided to throw together a quick list of all the Chekhov's guns I've noticed in Pirates SMP. Basically, anything that's been mentioned where I'm very certain it's going to come back into play eventually, though with some of them I have no idea how

The robed people from day one. We know they did something bad to Guqqie, and they somehow turned the corrupted isle into stone, or at least mostly to stone. I almost guarentee we haven't seen the last of them.

The corruption, and Cruppy's connection to it. Cruppy is a pretty constant presense, and we know not all of the corruption was turned to stone cause apparently Acho found some. And brought it back to the faction isles. Why did star think that was a good idea? I don't know. Also Ros seems to building with blocks the corruption was made of so...

The crypt on the sandy isle with the pit. It's tied to whatever is going on with the Gabriel plotline, and with the Slayer claiming that opening it will doom them all, I will be very surprised.

Whatever group is trying to find the treasure Gabriel is after. This is an easy one, but I do think the repercussions are going to be major. This is a group of Kestrels. Not just some group of rouge pirates. One of the other factions. They locked the Slayer up in cage, tried to hold Gabriel captive under the Kestrel base. This is not gonna be good for relations between the Herons and the Kestrels when this secret gets out, and honestly a part of me wonders if this might lead to just full out war between the factions. Kestrels and Kites vs Herons and Nightingales maybe?

That weird ship that attacked Owen. For anyone who didn't see the stream, during his stream yesterday while completely a treasure quest, Owen got shot in the face by a cannon from a larger ship. This is not one of the ships the players can currently buy, plus the only other pirates online at the time were Ros and Martyn, and it definitely wasn't them. Owen said that it was probably a Kite, but other than that theory we really don't know who or what they were. The ship was too far off to really see who might have been on it, and Owen's death message didn't show a username for whoever killed him. They also didn't stick around, by the time Owen returned they were long gone, with the only sign is happened was an odd grave made for his death. And as far as I know this is the only sighting of this weird ship. It wasn't the one that chased them during the Saving Gabriel quest, and it hasn't attacked anyone else (that I know of.) Everything about it is just... weird.

The ice wall Martyn and Sausage found. While exploring today apparently Martyn and Sausage found some weird ice wall, that also might have made strange noises? This information comes second hand so I don't have details. Now I will say, I'm fairly sure this is probably Martyn finding something he's not supposed to be able to access again but who knows? It's especially weird cause the climate of the isle and the surrounding seas is very tropical in vibe. Lots of jungle and palm trees, plus I think one single island with oak and birch. What is a giant wall of ice doing in a tropical sea? This is especially weird cause the only other example we have of a cold area is the area the robed people brought Guqqie to. Did Sausage and Martyn manage to find that place? Were they supposed to be able to? I don't know and I don't think so. Edit: People who watched the stream said it seemed like the pair were meant to find it so I take the bits about Martyn finding something else he's not supposed to be able to access back. Considering he's done it twice already though, can you really blame me for thinking it might have happened again? Further Edit: Yeah, the official twitter just posted about it, that was definitely meant to be found.

[sol-consort]

Soooo which ending did you choose for ME3? :)

Call me a clothing hanger the way I'm about to abort this child A.I for ruining my dreams of having a family with Kaidan where he cooks dinner and be the malewife to my femdom Shepard who's the breedwinner.

I went with green :( I couldn't do it, I love EDI too much.

The thing is, I did reload after it and do red, just so Shepard may live.

But I think the A.I is wrong, I don't think our children will make the same mistakes with the synthetics.

What's stopping us from making A.I again? much like they repaired the mass relays, they can just rebuild EDI or the geth again and with enough time they'll gain their sentient back.

Idk man. The green ending felt...dirty? Wrong? Altering everyone's DNA just like that is ugh. It's like the only way for us to get along is literally to make everyone perfect without flaws and that's just bullshit man.

Our flaws make us alive. Of course there won't be any fighting or bigotry if everyone was just the same and experienced the world the same, like yeah no shit.

But it wasn't earned, was it? It's a magical fix it all button by completely erasing both organics and synthetics, just to create a mix of the two and force everyone to kiss and make up.

The idea was for us to get along despite our differences, despite our shortcomings and our limited understanding of each other. Duh you can love a machine if you saw the world the same as it does, but can you love a machine who doesn't even bother to add windows to gaze upon the stars outside?

And having Shepard give even more after they've just given so much? No I actually cried like I'm being so fr. Shepard went through a lot, especially in ME3 and they barely got to sit down.

Haven't they suffered enough? My poor heart. Too much angst. What did I do to you devs??? Even Dark souls had happier endings, fucking dark souls.

So have them just...give everything they have constantly to everyone and that's it? They threw themselves away? Their life? For what? They deserved a happy ending even if it meant an end to the legend. They deserved to sit under a tree and retire.

I had my theory on the reapers origin actually.

Okay so, yk the Kardashev scale right? This one here.

It was made to categories a civilization's level of tech growth and development. Mostly based on where they get their power from. If aliens ever exist, they'd be somewhere on this scale or at least remains of their technology would.

But there is this thing called the great filter. Each species during it's evolution is met with some big wall that they need to overcome in order to reach the next step.

Like how we evolved from basically bacteria in the ocean into the mammals we are today. We were animals, we share ancestors with the current apes on our planet.

So how come we evolved but they didn't? That's where the great filter comes in. Somehow we jumped over that wall and reached the next step on the staircase and became self-aware.

And we weren't the only ones, other homo species came before us and lived alongside us. Neanderthals for example! They were smart and buried their dead just like us, hell they were stronger than us.

But we are the only humans left, the homo-sapiens. Because apparently there was another wall that we crossed and began building a community, towns, money, laws and housing. Invented philosophy and discovered math.

We have zero idea on how we crossed that wall. It could've been the universe throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks, we could be a miracle, an simple lucky streak of randomness that allowed us to get this far.

Now our current space travel future depends on that theory. Basically we could be the first ever species to look this far beyond the deep, or we could be very late to the party, both options are bad for us tbh. But I'm not gonna go into it.

There is this video that has information more about the great filter theory.

So I imagined the reapers to be like that, another great filer or a big wall. A test for space advanced civilizations to have to overcome in order to continue progressing and make a huge jump in their evaluation and technology.

Much like inventing fire was a huge test we passed, the reapers were simply another cold cave we had to get creative to warm up.

And each civilization that came before us has failed the test. They couldn't win the war and all their progress went down the drain. Much like many animals starve to death because they never learned to plant food like we do, it required gaining self-awareness.

For mass effect, maybe it requires the cooperation of the galaxy. Basically this meme.

So speed running accepting others and different life forms, power of friendship and all yk the drill.

Because the reapers, they do not feel, they are different from the synthetics like EDI and the geth. And because that's exactly where the protheons fell through despite their technology being ahead of every race in mass effect.

And I thought my theory was right when I met the star child and Levitation. That the reapers were a test made by a godlike civilization beyond our comprehension to make sure the only civilizations that ascend are the worthy ones who aren't corrupted by greed or selfishness.

But no :( it was just classic "BOO evil AI turns evil because we asked it to solve a problem and it concluded to do it by killing us BOOOOO"

Like oh my god, bruh, why cheese it? There is a time and place for corny stuff and that is not it.

That's why I didn't talk much about the levitation dlc. It had such a big build up only to never deliver.

I hate the double fake up twist they did with cerberus and other plots too. The whole

"Oh no these guys are bad"

"Oh wait nevermind they're kinda less bad actually, they only wanna help."

"HA we tricked you! YOU DUMB BITCH. You really thought they were good there for a sec? LOL. They are pure evil JK."

Like why even?? What was the point? Just an element of shock? You scrabbed a whole good story with potential for cheap shock???

Anyway. At least I can engage with the fandom now. Good think I have all these valentines chocolates leftovers to drown my sarrows with while I cope.

I am looking through the posts and damn...people are obsessed with Garrus. Did I miss something? He is nice and all but never stood out to me. No one talks about Ashley tho :(((

[elexuscal]

let’s talk about the Pearls

because their behaviour in The Trial was fascinating to me

At first, we see them exhibiting all their usual stuff. YP is as flourishing and Extra as always, and while for the most part BP is her usual quiet self, we see her display the most actual personality ever as she grins while drawing “Rose Quartz’s” death

But the tricky thing with the Diamonds’ Pearls is that it is very, very hard to tell what’s the real them. What are they really thinking, and what’s a show they have to put on to avoid their owners’ wrath?

Here, we see them lose their calm-- both of them, at the same time, for the same reason. And not because of a direct threat/insult, like Yellow Pearl’s flinching from Yellow Diamond in “Message Recieved”. It’s a comment Blue Zircon makes:

“So how did a Rose Quartz with no business being anywhere near Pink Diamond get so close in the first place? Where were Pink Diamond’s attendants? Her Agates? Her Sapphires? And where was her Pearl?”

They both immediately freeze. YP’s expression is terrified. She looks directly and BP, as if either afraid for her, or searching for reassurance or guidance. We don’t know exactly what Blue Pearl’s expression is, with her eyes covered-- but maybe fear too, or uncertainty, or surprise...

So the question is. Why?

1) They’re genuinely shocked. They’re so indoctrinated by Homeworld ideology that the thought that Pink Diamond’s Pearl didn’t do anything to protect her is an accusation which strikes them to their core

2) They’re afraid their Diamonds will lash out at them as scapegoats. This episode made it painfully clear that YD especially is pretty trigger happy, so I wouldn’t put it past her to occasionally strike out at blameless underlings

3) They know something.

This last one seems more likely to me. Because why else would they get so much focus? The question is-- what?

Okay. Let me split this up into sub-theories:

They (or one of them) witnessed Pink Diamond’s death, and they have information which could explain the discrepancies Blue Zircon brought up. However, they never divulged it for whatever reason. (Possibly because, if there was a cover up, they could be at risk if the did). Now it might come out accidentally, and they could take the fallout.

One or both of them helped orchestrate Pink Diamond’s assassination, either directly or indirectly. The main issue is the question of how an obvious criminal like Rose Quartz could have gotten close enough to Pink Diamond to kill her. Pearls would have a great insight into how all the court hierarchies work. Since they’re considered to be basically dim-witted furniture, they’re pretty easily ignored. Combine this with abilities such as holographic projections, perhaps they could have found a way to smuggle Rose Quartz (or the true killer) close enough.

Another Pearl was directly involved in the smuggling and killing of Pink Diamond. While they didn’t plan it, BP and YP helped her (and any allies e.g. Rose Quartz) escape, because of Pearl Solidarity

Hmm.... but who could this other Pearl be... If only there was another Pearl in the show... a known rebel... who’s past history with Homeworld is shrouded in mystery...

Ah. Yes.

Now, I’ll admit, I don’t know exactly how Pearl exactly fits in. Rose Quartz being the killer seems important for the Arc of Steven coming to discover that his Mom’s past actions weren’t all sunshine and daisies, and the further arc of him realizing that maybe sometimes violence/shattering is necessary or justified. So maybe she just helped sneak Rose in, even if she didn’t deliver the killing blow herself. 

Although, if Pearl was the culprit, that might give even more impact to her expression when Steven discovered what happened to Pink Diamond in ‘Back to the Moon’

Admittedly, this can easily just be Pearl saddened that Steven’s discovered the truth. That the perfect image of his mother, the person Pearl loved and respected more than anyone else, has been broken. That his innocence has been lost.

But if she was responsible, it could also be fear that Steven-- who is innocent, who still values the lives of everyone-- would reject her if he discovered she was the one who did it. 

(Also, consider Pearl’s claims of being Rose’s sole confidant, the one who knows everything... The only one who knew the truth of Pink Diamond’s shattering.)

‘Course, we’ve got the little problem here that all eye witness accounts say that Rose Quartz killed Pink Diamond. As you might have noticed, Pearl looks absolutely nothing like Rose.

... but hey. How about shapeshifting? You know. That thing Pearl swears she can do, but that we’ve never seen her demonstrate in 132 episodes? This would be a pretty significant demonstration. And the trauma of using it for such a thing could explain why she hasn’t wanted to use it since. 

(Not sure why Pearl would have felt the need to disguise herself as Rose Quartz. Maybe it was because she knew all the other RQs got captured and bubbled for Rose’s rebellion, so Pearl was protect her fellows from a similar culling. Or maybe she thought showing the leader of the rebellion dealing the finishing blow would make a stronger image. idk)

That said, again, I still really am fond of Rose being responsible... so maybe we can split the difference and put the death on Rainbow Quartz? That would be rad too.

basically it’s all a mystery and i’m not sure where it’s going, but the Pearls almost definitely have some clue

Let’s end this on their worried faces

(protect them) 

[house-of-laminations]

Hi, it's me again but this time I'm back with a question that's been floating around my mind for some time now and I'd like to hear your take on it: where exactly is the devildom?

For context: what raised this question was me remembering that belphie said somewhere (I forgot when he said it) that the stars in the devildom are different from the ones in the human realm; at the time I just glossed over it but then I was like "wait a second" bc what exactly are we looking at when we look at the stars? We're basically staring at the rest of our universe and all these little explosions, the light of which we perceive as stars (very scientific and definitely not wrong™ explanation)

Anyway the point is: if the stars in the devildom are different from ours, what exactly are we looking at here? I just assumed the devildom and celestial realm are on planet earth but like magically concealed or something but maybe that's not it? Are we in a different galaxy/universe? Can we just see a different 'angle/ layer'? I mean magic exists, who knows what's possible or not

Or I misinterpreted belphie's statement and he just meant that the constellations are different or whatever (but I'm pretty sure he said 'stars' as if in the actual gas balls are different ones; maybe someone else can provide context/screenshots <3)

It's always me with the dumb questions but now that I sign off my posts you can see just how obsessed I am with the world building and cultural exchange part of this one game👀✨

I am confusion, America explain

-⛈️

Oooooh oh oho oh hohoh ohoh oh. Yes. Please know that receiving this question gave me so much glee. I'm basically going to just. say a bunch of stuff. Feel free to take or leave what you like - I don't even know what version I want to go with personally.

So. What/where is the Devildom?

Well there's the 'easy' answer in that the Devildom is an analogue for "Hell"/"the Underworld"/"Hades". It's occupied mostly by demons and monsters, and we know there are multiple (8, according to Satan) "Layers" to it. What each of these layers are, however, are up in the air. After all, does this version of the Devildom also equate to the human afterlife? If so, are these "layers of punishment" re: dante's inferno/christian fanfiction or are they something else? There are ghosts and zombies around the place, which imply the presence of human spirits/souls, but not much else. We know demons eat human souls normally - maybe it is an afterlife, except the humans are more like livestock? But that still doesn't answer the question of where the devildom is.

What are the facts?

Well. We know the stars are different, as you so kindly pointed out. And that the Celestial Realm, the Devildom, and the Human World are considered separate enough that you can't just wander to and from each - they require magic to travel between them. Thaaaaat's about it (well. maybe there's more. But I'm only in S2 so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) Basically I'm just gonna use the stars to help throw around some theories.

Why are the stars different?

Three answers for this one, and honestly I don't know which one is my favourite, so I'll just throw all three at the wall and see what sticks.

The Devildom is in a different position in space. This kind of implies that the Devildom is almost a planet of its own, able to be mapped and traversed just like planet Earth. Instead of using space ships to get to and from the "Human World"/"the Celestial Realm", they use magic. Which. Implies the demons are actually aliens. Which I love. Definitely a spin on "Cosmic" horror.

The Devildom has it's own, unique "Space". Something that I've always wondered in terms of stories that involve multiple planes is how the cosmology for each plane works. Is it the one galaxy with different versions of a "prime planet" or are there unique galaxies for each plane of existence? (Are there aliens unique to the feywild???? Are there celestial aliens?????????)

The Devildom is in a different position in time. We're seeing the stars that could be seen/will be seen from the human world/Earth, but by a difference of millennia. Or - a "frozen" position in time. It never seems to be day in the Devildom, and yet the sun must exist because the moon is visible. """magic moon""" is a cop-out answer and people need to accept more sci-fi in their fantasies dammit. It could potentially be moving through time differently - forwards, backwards, lengthened, shortened. Time moving differently between the realms is always a nice and easy set-up for some lifespan angst -

I mean. we could say that the stars are just specks of light in the sky too, but. That's boring. Unless they're the holes poked in the jar that is the devildom. I guess if you wanted to go "high fantasy" with it an argument could be made for stars being points of power/magic or some kind of fragmentation of celestial light/souls/etc... But if that was the case, my argument would be "why not have that as the original giant gas balls in space. magic is just science that isn't understood!!"

As I mentioned at the start, I honestly don't know which version I ascribe to personally. It probably changes depending on my mood. I wish I had a definitive answer!

[cuntess-carmilla]

Wait I'm confused? Could you elaborate on the chemical imbalance theory that isn't true? So a lack of serotonin doesn't correlate with low energy? Then why are people prescribed antidepressants¿ I'm questioning my whole life right now

To be very brief, people are prescribed antidepressants because they work for some of the people who are diagnosed with depression, even when doctors don't exactly understand how they manage to work. (A lot of psychiatric medication is literally just throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks.)

I think a blatant piece of evidence that that theory of chemical imbalance is at best not applicable to everyone who experiences depression or symptoms misdiagnosed as depression, is the fact that not all antidepressants function through the same biochemical mechanism.

Some function in relation to serotonin receptors, many others do not, and atypical antidepressants like Wellbutrin are prescribed very often nowdays while a lot of older ones get less and less prescribed through time.

When I say that they work for some of the people diagnosed with depression, I'm including people who don't actually have depression. I've taken Wellbutrin and it has technically worked, but not because of some chemical imbalance in my brain that could be described as "just depression" ("just" being used very liberally there because I don't want to minimize depression).

One of the reasons I've been misdiagnosed with depressive symptoms is because of my orthostatic intolerance. tl;dr Orthostatic intolerance consists on one's brain not receiving enough oxygenated blood especially in upright and stretched out positions because our blood vessels don't tighten up enough to fight off gravity so our blood pools down in our feet. The treatments for orthostatic intolerance (except for a specific subtype of POTS) consist on intentionally raising blood pressure, be it through meds, compression garments, or an increased intake of salt and water. Wellbutrin has the side effect of raising blood pressure, and that's why it "worked" for me.

In fact, all stimulants have the side effect of raising blood pressure, and a lot of antidepressants are basically stimulants. Even when one's source of fatigue isn't hypotension or orthostatic intolerance, them being stimulants still fights off physical fatigue... Kind of. Because they also cause insomnia and that's a huge no-no when you have chronic fatigue, but at least while we're in our waking hours with our meds kicking in it has that effect. (Fun fact, turns out most of my insomnia came from my fucking Wellbutrin.)

Antidepressants aren't the only psych meds that inadvertedly can treat physiological illnesses, btw. Another personal example is that benzos can work in some patients as mast-cell stabilizers.

[ofmermaidstories]

Hello!!!

Ahh I recently read the first chapter of 'The Sun God's Bride' and omgg I'm so sooooo excited!!!!! It looks like it's going to a fun and emotional journey!!!

I love your world building!! Its so realistic but fantastical?? Idk like it just seems sooo lovely, pls I wanna live there 😫🤲💖

I'm curious! When building a world what's your process?? Do you use references such as art and photography to build the world along with your own imagination?? I've noticed that you like to draw, do you draw concept art???

Also!! Pls I'm so in love with how you reference 'flower girl' in your work! Its such a cute and fun little nod to surrender!

Ahh I look forward to going along this journey with you!!! Super excited for the next chapter!!! 💖💖💖

Hello Anima!!!!!!

I want us to live in the Sun God world too. 😩 We could be temple brats, surely it’d be easy… swimming in pools and idk…. eating fruit, LOL. (Oh my gosh though LOL i’m…. so glad you like the florist references :’) IM SORRY GUYS, but that little joke/thread makes me way too happy so i’m just going to include it in everything LOL. like a multiverse theory — somewhere out there, a flower girl version of us is just living their best life, over and over again, falling in love a hundred different ways :’)))) )

But okay, to the crux of your ask — I like to make moodboards when starting a story!!!! I do this for everything, literally, not just fanfics (I made a moodboard for my friend’s and I’s summer trip last year LMAO no chill :’) ). But I have a weheartit account that’s like a million years old, so I use that to collect inspo. Basically, like, if I’ve decided to write something I generally know the feel of it, if that makes sense? So I use my moodboards as a way to pinpoint key visuals/feelings I wanna convey (or just for extra inspo!). Like, for instance, this is just some of the images I have saved under my Sun God board:

Not everything will make it into the final product that is the fic — but this is generally a good way to remind myself what I was trying to achieve LOL. They also have the added bonus of being the images I’ll use when I post about the chapter updates, here on tumbles!!! But as I continue to work on a story, I’ll keep adding to each board as needed — weeding out pictures that don’t work anymore, adding new ones. These are some of the latest ones for something (just like this):

My process for any kind of world building, whether it’s trying to create a fantasy world, or just expanding on a canon one is pretty much just to give myself visual keys!!! Like, I’ll make a few written notes of things in my initial outlining of stuff, but generally, I’ll know a story is sticking if I’ve driven to scribbling for it, or doing this collecting of inspo. Like, with the Todoroki x Reader fic I wanna do, after Deku’s, I’m currently in the “throw everything at the wall and see what sticks” stage:

So what I have currently is just…. flat-out inspo, Idea collecting. The earlier images I have for it are very ocean/sea based, because I started musing about this before I wrote The Widening Sky — so a lot of my oceany-inspo can be seen here, LOL, I dunno if the final product will be as…….. dependant, on the sea, for all that it starts off on a beach.

Doodling for the fics isn’t as common as it is when I’m working on something original — what I’ll draw instead, if I need to, are like, key details. So for example, this one here is — a rough idea of like, how I visualised the cove in The Widening Sky. A priestess/temple Sister sketch for a ceremony in The Sun God’s Bride. And some details from the outfits I’m going to force Y/N to wear in Chapter Four of something (just like this)! LOL

What I really like to draw is how I imagine the characters to look like — with fanfiction I don’t really need to do that, lmao, since most of our cast already exists, but I have drawn what I personally see the Readers as?? I’d never share those sketches though lmao, because I wouldn’t want anyone to like…. see that, instead of what they want. And it’s fun seeing other people’s interpretations!!!!

Saying all that, I guess the “world-building” process kind of looks like this, all together:

this is something I’ve compiled for the manuscript I currently have collecting dust lmao. Doodles, moodboard, mock covers because i’m vain LMAOOO dslkfjsdlkfjkldsfjkldsfj. I’ll have all these bits and pieces in their own folder!! they make me happy to look at ldfkjksdlfjkdlsj. I like having things in front of me, LOL.

whew this was longer than i intended dslkfjsdkljsdkljfkdlsfj i hope it was somehow enlightening??? basically — i just think of something, and then collect a bunch of pictures LOL. and if that fails, i’ll draw some. :’) Thank-you for asking me LOL, i had fun talking about my little visual aids — I’m excited for The Sun God’s Bride, too, and excited we’re starting out on it together. 💖🌷 Here’s to the adventure ahead. 🌅

[iatethepomegranate]

We are not alone in the dark with our demons, Chapter 10

In which Caleb buys a house in Rexxentrum with Beau and Yasha, becomes a professor, is showered in love and support, learns how to be a person again, and tries to protect those like him from going through what he did.

Content warnings: Panic attacks, vomiting, Caleb's backstory

Chapter summary: There's not a lot Caleb can do right now, but he can teach a hurting teenager a new spell and reunite him with his very much alive parents.

Chapter notes: I 100% believe that Astrid knows the Nein call Essek "Hot Boi." Chapter title is from Ghost by Jacob Lee.

****

Chapter 10: And I'm just a stranger who could be a friend

The first thing Caleb did was flip to the page in his spellbook where he had transcribed the Sending spell. It was far into the book. As he pulled out his copper wire, Felix made a sound of surprise.

“You learned this recently?” asked Felix.

“Ja, I travelled with a cleric friend for a long time who had the spell,” Caleb replied. “Not Caduceus; he was there too, though. Jester seemed to enjoy casting it at everyone, even mere acquaintances, so I never saw the need for it.”

“What made you learn it?”

“Jester insisted a few weeks ago, so I could talk to her while we were apart. I knew another wizard who could teach me, and we were spending a great deal of time alone together exploring Aeor, and exchanging theories.”

Felix, despite his distress, was absolutely smirking at Caleb and he was not about to deal with teasing from an actual child. “So… exchanging theories in Aeor? Is that what old people call it now?”

“Hush.” Caleb ran Felix through the basic somatic motions of the spell, before demonstrating it himself. “Hallo, Caduceus. I am teaching Felix the Sending spell. It will take a few hours. Let me know if anything happens.”

“Hey, Caleb. Beau has the monks looking for Nico. They’re playing nice with the Volstrucker, apparently. Don’t miss dinner.”

“Right, so you can have a single two-way exchange out of the one casting,” said Felix. “What’s the word limit again?”

“Twenty-five words. Now, this is a third-level spell. It will take some effort for you at the moment.”

“I’ve been to school, Bren. I know what spell levels are.”

“Call me Caleb. Or Professor Widogast, if you prefer. I do teach here now.”

“Fuck off.”

“Caleb’s fine.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Professor.”

This was better. Caleb could work with impetuous children. Most children he knew were like that. Caleb could tune his behaviour to whatever Felix seemed to find most calming. Or at least distracting.

Felix had great attention to detail, methodically copying out Caleb’s transcription of the spell and yet still finding excuses to make fun of Caleb along the way. It was comfortable, more than Caleb had expected. Felix only knew him by reputation, and one put forward by Trent, no less.

Maybe it was the shared trauma. Maybe it was the fact Caleb was teaching him something. Or because Caleb, despite being a professor here, wasn’t trying to inhabit a position of authority over him in the way Trent had.

Snacks were delivered to the room about halfway through the process. Felix paid it little mind, and that was painfully familiar.

“Felix.” Caleb could not believe he was enforcing a break. That he had become the kind of person who would pull a focused wizard away from study for mere human needs such as food. But he was responsible for Felix, at least for now, and that was a frightening pressure.

“Busy.”

Caleb closed his own spellbook, taking away Felix’s source for transcription. In its place, he put a bowl of fruit. “Eat.”

Felix paused, his pen hovering over the page, frowning. Then he slowly set it down and sullenly grabbed a plum. Caleb sat back against the wall, nibbling on a handful of grapes.

“Don’t forget to stretch before we get back to it.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “Why are you like this?”

“Listen, I’ve had many people do this for me in the last year alone. So I’m paying it forward, and you are going to accept that.” Caleb tried to throw a grape into his mouth, and missed. He grabbed it off the floor and popped it into his mouth. Chewed. Swallowed. “It’s good for you.” If any of the Nein had heard him say that, they probably would have fainted from shock. It was easier to give this advice than to follow it himself.

“I can see why Trent fucking hates you.”

Caleb snorted. “Oh, this does not scratch the surface of Trent’s problems with me.” He threw another grape, catching it in his mouth this time. “Did anyone tell you what my friends and I did to him?”

“No.”

“Well, he tried to ambush us at Caduceus’s family home. One of my friends may have ‘acquired’ evidence of his experiments from Vergesson, and he was upset that I refused to entertain his ego while busy with bigger problems. By the time we were done with him, Astrid and Wulf were on our side, my friends had permanently glued a silencing collar around his neck, and used the leftover glue to stick his hands together. And that glue was in the shape of a dick.”

“Bullshit.”

“Ask Astrid. She activated the collar. Or Beauregard. She put the thing on him.”

Felix had that look of a teenage boy who was trying not to look impressed, hiding it behind a veneer of sarcasm. “Okay. I will.”

They finished their break, stretched, and got back to it. Felix was clever, eager to learn. It brought back memories for Caleb. Good memories, as tainted as they now were. And as much as he was worried for Nico and grieved for what had happened, he was also indescribably relieved they had been able to stop Felix. If he could help Felix reclaim even the smallest amount of good from his stolen childhood, he would take that as a victory.

Astrid looked in on them as Felix practiced the somatic motions around his copper wire, his muscle memory already secure. With a few minor corrections, he would be ready to cast.

“Almost finished?” she asked.

“Almost,” said Caleb. “Felix, that was very good. Just watch that you fully complete the motion right at the end, and hold it until you finish speaking your message. With time, you can find your own method.”

“You learned this method from your special Aeor friend?”

Caleb sighed. “No, these somatic components are developed from watching several casters perform the spell. My colleague provided the basic framework to learn the spell, but his somatic components are more intricate than my own.”

“So he’s your fancy special Aeor friend.”

Astrid chuckled. “It’s not the silliest nickname he’s had. Now, focus. The Martinet is sticking his nose in our business and we need to get you out of here.”

Felix wordlessly practiced the gesture again, meticulously correcting his errors. He ran through the motion a few more times, becoming more confident each time.

“I think you are ready,” said Caleb. “Remember: twenty-five words. Consider them in advance. It may be worth telling Nico he can reply to you.”

Felix nodded and closed his eyes, counting on his fingers under his breath. And then he cast. “Hey, Nico. It’s Felix. I heard what happened. I’m okay. They stopped me. I hope you’re okay. You can reply to this message.” The barest pause. “Love you.” Felix held his breath, listening out for a reply.

Caleb let him have ten seconds, before breaking the news. “Felix. If he has not replied yet--”

“I know,” Felix muttered. He grabbed his spellbook, hugging it to his chest as he deflated, and Caleb’s heart broke. “Just… get me out of here.”

****

Astrid’s teleport brought the three of them back to Blumenthal. The path was muddy from yesterday’s storm. Felix gripped his spellbook tighter, raking his eyes over the buildings around them. The way he held himself, shoulders hunched, inches from bolting, reminded Caleb far too much of himself mere months ago.

“Felix,” he said. “We need to speak to your mother and father, but we will not put you in a situation you do not think you can handle.”

“I don’t know if I can do this.” And wasn’t that just painfully familiar. They had barely made it a few steps before he froze, closing his eyes against the vision of home.

Astrid looked to Caleb, silently begging for him to do something.

“Felix,” said Caleb, completely panicking on the inside, “we will not force you to do anything you don’t want to. Okay? Let’s walk for a bit. Take deep breaths. If we reach your house and you don’t want to go inside, I will stay with you and Astrid will talk to your parents. Is that all right?”

Felix nodded, and he took a step. Then another step. And another. They walked together down familiar but unfamiliar streets. They were in a different part of Blumenthal than they had been yesterday. Caleb blocked out most of it, concentrating on getting Felix through the next few minutes. His own shit did not matter right now.

Felix’s body language remained tense. His head stayed down, barely keeping an eye on where he was going. His fingers flexed around his spellbook. And Caleb was planning. A hundred different options.

Caleb refused to force this boy to face his parents before he was ready. If the time came, and he couldn’t do it, he would need somewhere else to go. Somewhere away from here. If Astrid allowed it, there were a few options. Veth in Nicodranas would take Felix if Caleb asked, but he wasn’t sure if Felix would feel comfortable being around a family like that, especially with a small child. Or Felix could stay at the Lavish Chateau, but Marion was a busy woman who had been through enough on Caleb’s account. There was the Gentleman’s hideout, but Caleb wouldn’t want to leave him alone there. He could take Felix to the Blooming Grove, where the Clays would willingly care for him, but taking a boy who almost killed his parents to a graveyard was possibly not the best option.

There was Reani, wherever she was, but he wasn’t so sure that Felix could handle her on his own, or that her rigid morality had shifted enough to take him in without killing him if she found out even a fraction of the shit he did while under Trent’s power. Taking Felix to Nila and her young family, who Caleb believed had returned to her clan, would bring up many of the similar issues as taking him to Veth. And the Guiatao clan had suffered greatly at the hands of the Iron Shepherds, including many deaths, so Caleb wasn’t sure that would be a good place for him to cope with nearly killing his own parents.

And Caleb was not putting Felix on a pirate ship, so that ruled out Fjord, Jester and Kingsley.

They could always bring Felix back to Rexxentrum and he could either stay on Astrid’s estate (possibly too traumatic) or with Caleb and the lesbians, but Ludinus was poking around and that could get messy. Not to mention the whole “harbouring a Drow fugitive” thing.

Caleb circled back to Veth. If Felix could handle it, he would feel most comfortable taking the boy to her if he wasn’t able to go home. Caleb hadn’t told her what happened yet; he was not looking forward to that conversation. Even if it would help him in the end.

Of course, this all depended on Felix. If he agreed to go home, this would be irrelevant. But Caleb felt better having come up with a plan.

They reached a quiet street. Felix headed to the house at the far end, partially concealed by a granary. Caleb thought, with faint nausea, that even the physical isolation of their parents’ homes could have been a factor for Trent.

Felix made it all the way to the small vegetable garden out the front of the house, but faltered between the carrots. He stared up at the modest house. A single-storey affair, small even for a family of three. The front door was painted cherry red. The boy’s lips parted; no sound came out. His eyes traced the features of the house - the red door, the two small windows, the thatched roof in need of maintenance.

A woman’s face appeared at the window. And the door flew open.

“Felix!” The woman ran out of the house, and Caleb was just barely able to take in her simple dress and heavy coat, blonde hair gathered in a loose bun. But as she got close, Felix stepped back, wide eyes fixed on her face, as she spoke in rapid Zemnian. “No one has heard from you in weeks. Where have you been? Are you okay?”

“I can’t do this.” And he was backing away. “I can’t.” He tore his eyes from her, and ran.

“Go after him,” Astrid told Caleb. He wasted no time chasing after the boy. Caleb had run from a great many things in the past few years, but he was not the fastest man alive. But he was fast enough.

Felix barely made it around the granary before he collapsed into the grass. Gasping for breath.

Caleb knelt beside him. “Felix, listen to me. You’re okay. Slow down, breathe. Let the air fill your lungs. Feel the grass beneath your hands.”

Felix dug his fingers into the dirt, gulping in air. He was listening, at least. Being on the other side of this was not especially familiar to Caleb, but he had coached Essek once or twice. He could do this. They could do this.

Of course, Felix barely knew him, so it wasn’t like Caleb could just hug him. That would probably make things worse. So he would have to use his words.

“Felix, you got this. How does the grass feel?” Caleb gave Felix a moment to process, and then he supplied options, taking a pause between each. “Is it dry? Wet? What colour is it?”

Felix coughed a little, sucking in a shaky breath. “Wet. Green.” His hand slid across the grass. “Short. Muddy.”

“Good.”

Felix leaned away and vomited onto the grass. Then he staggered to his feet, grabbing Caleb’s shoulder for support. They moved a little further from the house, and Felix leaned against the granary, knocking the back of his head against the wood. And he laughed, that kind of unhinged, hysterical laugh that was not funny at all. Caleb knew it well.

And then he was in tears. Caleb reached for his shoulder, carefully, and Felix didn’t shake him off.

“I was going to kill her,” Felix said quietly. “If you hadn’t… I almost murdered my parents. I love them. I love them… and it didn’t matter. I was going to… oh gods....”

“Felix,” Caleb said, and did a very poor job hiding the tremor in his voice. “I am so glad we found you.”

“What the fuck does it matter? I would’ve done it.”

“Felix, as somebody who did… it matters a great deal.”

Felix stared up at him, eyes wide and wild.

“I will not force you to go home if you’re not ready,” Caleb said, pulling his voice back under control. “All I will say is this: I would have given anything to see my mother and father again. I almost did. And I know it hurts to look at your mother, knowing that you were going to end her life because of a lie. But you didn’t. She is still here. So is your father. And you have time to heal, all three of you.”

Felix wiped his face on his sleeve, cleared his throat. “Okay. Danke.”

***

Astrid was seated at a small dining table with Felix’s mother and father. Nobody got up from the table when Caleb brought Felix in, though it took visible restraint from his parents. Felix took after his mother--blonde hair, blue eyes, soft features--but he was closer to his father’s build.

The father tore his eyes from Felix with visible effort, and when his gaze fell on Caleb, he froze. And Caleb recognised him, and his wife. Friedrich Schneider and Louise Fischer--probably Schneider now. They were a few years older than him, but he could recall playing together as children.

“I heard you were back,” said Friedrich. “You were helping Nico out yesterday, ja?”

“Ja, I was there,” Caleb said carefully. “As were Astrid and Wulf.”

Louise pulled out the chair next to her. “Felix, come here.”

Felix, still gripping his spellbook like a lifeline, shuffled over and fell into the seat. Caleb sat next to Astrid on the opposite side of the table to the family.

“I have given some details of Master Ikithon’s arrest,” Astrid told him. “We were just about to discuss options for support. If you would?”

“Ja, of course.” Caleb compartmentalised his old memories and focused on the task ahead of him. “We are organising a support group for Ikithon’s former students. We are still nailing down those details, but we will be sure to pass them on. I have also been appointed as a teacher at Soltryce Academy, and we are hoping to put the students back into school when they feel ready.”

Louise and Friedrich grasped at Felix, who curled in on himself but did not complain.

“We just got him home,” said Louise. “After everything Astrid has told us, why would we let him go back?”

“The students in Felix’s position are at a delicate stage of development,” Astrid said, with little inflection, and Caleb sensed she was compartmentalising as well. “They are quite skilled, but have lost the guidance they had. That is dangerous. Good or bad, Ikithon was…” She sighed, and the mask melted away a little. “He engineered this situation. We were dependent on him. Even those whose families still live. Bren, you have been out of his influence longer. Do you have thoughts?”

“Ja, I do.” Caleb had spent his fair share of time soul-searching in the past few weeks, as well as the past year as a whole. “Ikithon shaped each of his students in a very specific way: patriotic to a fault, willing to do anything to get the job done, and unfalteringly loyal to him. It is a gradual process. By the time you realize it is happening, you have already done terrible things at his command. For most, there was no way out. My situation is unique, because I was able to escape in a rather dramatic fashion, but it has taken years to shake off the influence he had on me. I was alone and homeless for most of that time, and let me tell you: almost every fragment of positive change in me happened in the past year, because I had a support network. I found people who cared about me, and they learned how to help me. It was a group effort. I am now in a position to offer that kind of support to others.”

“Say we let him go back,” said Friedrich. “Will he have to live in that place?”

“Not all the time,” said Astrid. “You are not far from Rexxentrum, so I do not see a problem if he wishes to come home regularly. Bren and I both live off-campus if he needs a break but cannot make it to Blumenthal.”

“You do not need to decide now,” said Caleb. “The seniors do not start for another few weeks.”

“We’ll think about it,” Friedrich said flatly. “What happened to Nico?”

“He did it,” Felix said quietly. “Had a breakdown. Ran the fuck away.”

“We have people searching for him,” said Astrid. “Bren taught Felix a spell to talk to him, if he likes.”

“He prefers Caleb,” Felix muttered.

“Danke, Felix.” Caleb had not expected Felix to speak up on his behalf, not when he had his own shit going on. “Astrid gets a pass and, well, your parents knew me when we were children. I go by Caleb Widogast these days, but I will answer to either name.”

“Why the change?” asked Friedrich, still in that flat tone of distrust.

“I went by many names after I escaped Master Ikithon,” said Caleb. “For safety. I gave that one to a woman who eventually became my best friend. Now, it’s my name. But, for you, I don’t mind.”

Both Friedrich and Louise did not look trusting. At all. A mere muscle twitch from openly glaring at Caleb and Astrid, really.

Louise sighed, and some of the hostility dropped. “Thank you for bringing Felix home.”

“We will check in regularly,” said Astrid.

“Felix can message either of us with the spell I taught him,” said Caleb. “If he so wishes.”

Things were too tense to continue much conversation. Caleb and Astrid said their goodbyes, and left. They did not speak, except for Astrid’s short incantation to teleport them back to Rexxentrum.

They landed on the outskirts of the Shimmer Ward. Astrid immediately combed her fingers through her hair, hands shaking.

“That was…” She groaned softly. “Thank you for coming. I will keep you updated on the search for Nicolaus.” She turned on her heel and marched deeper into the ward, pausing for a split second, before she continued onwards without looking back.

Caleb slowly worked his way back to and through the Tangles until he was home. He couldn’t fault Astrid for being distant right at the end. The last twenty-four hours had been intense for everyone involved.

It was close to dinnertime as he reached the house. He entered his side and shut the door, leaning against it as the strength left his body. He’d done it. Today had been two-thirds of a shitshow, and he had made it through.

Felix was home with his parents, and he had the means to contact Nico, and Caleb himself, if he wanted. That was a win.

Nico, however…

Caleb knew, intellectually, that it had been a freak occurrence. A series of imperfections had tangled together into a knot, and that knot had been Nico’s escape. Almost every wizard in that room had more than one try at countering Nico’s spell, but they had not been unable to unravel it. Nico, empowered by panic and grief, had thrown all he had into a powerful fireball, and had the adrenaline to power through what should have hurt him a great deal.

Caleb hoped he was okay. Physically, at least. Psychologically, Caleb knew he wasn’t.

He sat on the floor, resting his back against the door. And he tried something. Coil of wire in hand. “Hello, Nicolaus. This is Caleb Widogast. You may know me as Bren Ermendrud. I was with you today. I’m sorry we frightened you. Be safe.”

He didn’t expect a response, and he did not receive one. A small part of him feared Nico wasn’t responding because he was dead. It was all too likely. There was no way he hadn’t been injured in the blast. Once the adrenaline wore off, the pain could’ve taken over and left him vulnerable to any number of attackers.

Gods, if after all this, Nico had died on the side of a road…

Caleb was tired. But he forced his fingers to cooperate, and worked through another casting.

“Me again. I want you to know: Trent Ikithon is in prison for what he did to us. You’re welcome in my home, when ready.”

Again, no response.

“Caleb?” A form slid into view at the top of the stairs, blending into the dark, but Caleb knew Essek’s voice anywhere.

“Ja,” he said, with the remaining strength he had. “Felix is home. We have both tried to message Nico, with no response. I…” He didn’t want to speak it into existence, so he shifted the morbid statement on his tongue into something more positive. “I hope he’s alive.”

Essek floated down the stairs and sat beside him, squeezing into the remaining doorspace. “If he's anything like you, I would expect nothing less.”

“Danke.” Caleb dropped his head onto Essek’s shoulder, and let himself rest.

[literary-spirit]

"I'm sorry we couldn't offer you little more comfort while residing with us." Genuineness threaded itself through Torvi words as she watched while Bonnie settled herself behind Hali underneath the furs of unknown heritage.

A gratitude inspired smile made a conquest of Bonnie's lips. "No need for apologies, Torvi. Fact is, I'm grateful that you've allowed me somewhere safe to lay my head. Especially with everything being so new and unfamiliar."

Truth be sold rather than told, Bonnie didn't understand one damn thing about her predicament. One moment she lay bleeding out in her fiancé's arms in 21st century New Orleans, and the next she lay sprawled on Bjorn's ship during the freaking Viking Era. After some thought she'd begun to believe herself to be on the other side she'd created for Enzo, but there was a few sizable holes in that working theory. One, Enzo didn't hail from the ninth century so why would she tailor the world he'd spend his afterlife in after it? Two, she'd had the displeasure of being dead stranded on the other side a time or two and neither time did the imitation of life after death explode with a passion that could only be rivaled by reality.

No, Bjorn, Ivar, and Kattegat was real. It was all real! But on everything and everyone she loved she couldn't understand why. What did her giving up her mortality to become the immortal witch and finally embrace the prophecy have to do with this particular place in time?

"Bonsie?" The dulcet cadence of Guthrum's voice snatched her away from her thoughts. "Can you tell us a saga about your land?"

He and Hali stared up at her. The gleam of excitement tinkled bright in both of their eyes. She faked a sigh and played at reluctance with a roll of the eyes, all the while a smile twitched at the corners of her mouth for freedom. "Are you sure? Because you and Hali look really tired," she began tickling Hali who squealed and squirmed to get away, "And I don't wanna start one of my dull stories only to bore you both to sleep."

"Please!" They both squeaked in unison. "You have our vow we won't slumber before the end of your tale. Right Hali?" The blonde cherub face child with eyes just like his father nodded.

"Alright, but the vow I want from you is, that if slumber comes for you or Hali while I'm telling you the story you won't fight it," she said, her gaze moving from one boy to the other. "That's the only way I'm going to speak of this saga. I won't waste words on tired ears."

The boys stared at each other for a moment, before Guthrum looked back at her, "If our slumber takes us before the conclusion, will you continue when we rise?"

"Maybe not when we rise. You know, because we'll have to break our fast and I'm sure there'll be chores needing to be done-"

"There will definitely be chores needing to be done," Torvi confirmed as she watched from the bed.

Bonnie shrugged, tapping her chin while staring up at the ceiling of the keep. Her eyes flared as if the proverbial light bulb had erupted into a thousand ideas, "I know! If you fall asleep before the saga is finished, then I'll continue it tomorrow before we go to bed."

Guthrum looked to Hali, who nodded his head, "You have our vow, Bonsie."

"Okay," she held up her pinky. They stared at her finger for a moment then gawked at her as if she'd open a third eye on her forehead, "Well if you're giving me your vow boys, I'ma need a pinky swear to consummate your sworn oath."

"How do you perform such a ritual?" Guthrum asked, cuddling in closer.

"Hold up your little finger just like this." She wiggled her pinky. Once Guthrum and Hali raised their fingers, she entwined both of her pinkies with theirs, tugged and pulled away. "And just like that we have consummated our oath with a pinky swear."

"So, what of the saga?" Guthrum questioned.

"It's a story that takes place in a land where my ancestors once thrived. A continent called Africa," she began, "There a wise lion king was blessed with a cub who too would one day be king of everything the light touched in that land."

For the next thirty minutes or so Bonnie retold the story of the Lion King. By the time she reached the part about Scar throwing Mufasa off the cliff into the surge of stampeding antelope she noticed the boys had fallen asleep. Lowering her voice, she allowed her words to trail off, to avoid awakening the kids.

"Ack! Why'd you stop?!" Bjorn snapped. "Did Mufasa find a way to save himself so that he could exact revenge over his treacherous brother?"

"And what of poor Simba?" Torvi grilled, "What will become of him now?"

Bonnie's brows collided. She hadn't realized that they had even gave her a benefit of an ear let alone hung on to every word of the story. "I'm sorry, I didn't think you guys were paying attention."

"Why wouldn't we attend you, Bonnie?" Bjorn shot her one more unit before settling back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. "Are we not sharing the same space?"

"Bjorn," Torvi lightly scolded, cuddling down next to him.

"It's okay, Torvi," she said, rolling away to face the wall, "Bjorn's right. I'm wrong for not considering you both may wanna hear the ending of the story, but even if I wanted to finish it my sacred oath with the boys wouldn't allow me to continue until next eve. So, have a good night's rest and I'll see you both in the morning."

Bonnie allowed her eyes to close and not much later she dosed until squeaks, moans, and grunts ripped her from the verge of a deep sleep. Confused about why the hell she was on the floor instead of in Klaus' Californian King, her eyes darted around and then finally collided with a folded up Torvi getting piled drove by Bjorn.

When Torvi noticed her watching, she blushed and attempted to stifle another moan, "Apologies, Bonnie. We didn't mean to wake you with our coupling."

"It's fine," she said, not knowing what the hell else to say. It's not like she could go in about them banging one out in their own keep. Bjorn's lava hot blues bore into her, while he began to grind slow circles into Torvi. Bonnie attempted to clear her throat, but only managed a super dehydrated cough, "P-please c-continue—I-I mean if that's what you both wanna do. Not that I'm gonna keep watching or anything."

"Would you like to join us?" Torvi offered between gasps and moans. "Bjorn's vigor is insatiable. He would have no issues pleasuring you as well."

"T-That's not necessary!" Bonnie flopped back over on her side to face away from them, "You two enjoy, I'm good." She squeezed her eyes closed and tried to ignore the snickers coming from the bed as she willed herself to go back to sleep.

****

After daggmal what Bjorn called breakfast, Sigurd offered to be her guide while she explored the forest. They spent almost half the day trekking through the woods gathering recipes she would need for hygienic purposes and basic spells. For the first half of their outing, Sigurd merely helped and watched her without saying anything. When she'd had enough of him side-eying the hell out of her she spun on him without warning and he almost ran her down.

"What's wrong with you? Why do you keep watching me like I'm gonna turn you into horse shit or something?" She snapped.

His eyes flared, and he took a step back. "Can you?"

"Sigurd!" Bonnie stared at him for a moment like he'd left his mind back at Kattegat, before whirling around to continue her descend down to the cove. "Why did you come if you're so scared of me?" She tossed over her shoulder.

"Because I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and I was hoping to plow you," he replied, following behind her.

"Men," she mumbled to herself. Then she raised her voice loud enough for him to hear. "So, I guess Ivar's telling anyone who will listen I'm a witch, huh?"

"Ivar?" He questioned as if he didn't know how one thing had to do with the other. "No, what's he to do with anything? It's Margrethe."

Bonnie stopped once more to turn and look up at him. "Margrethe? You mean the poor servant girl you all pass around like a waste bucket?"

"We don't pass her around and she says when you appeared out of air the gods let their displeasure be known by sending a storm to upset the sea," he walked closer, plucked the basket from her hands, intertwined their arms and guided her towards the cove. "She also said that the storm only went away when she mentioned throwing you over."

"You do understand Margrethe is madder than a bag of cats tossed in a barrel of water, right? Anything that comes out of her mouth is nothing more than rantings of the certifiable," she said, filing Margrethe away for a later day's problem.

Sigurd laughed. "Your turn of phrases are cutting. I've noticed that you wield your words the way Hvitserk swings an ax."

"Runs in the family," she said, distracted by the splashing she heard coming from the cove. "Shh," she stopped, halting Sigurd along with her, "someone's down there."

Stunned disbelief flared his eyes and dropped his jaw, "Really? Well, we should go-,"

"Yeah," her head bobbed in utter agreement, more than ready to turn around, "we should."

"And cut down the trespassers!" He finished.

"Wait, what?"

Without even a notion of a warning, he scooped her up, tossed her over his shoulder, and ran down the rest of the way to the cove. Once they cleared the woods and stepped into the enclosure of the inlet, he strode into the water with her. She caught an upside-down glimpse of Ivar sitting on the bank, while Ubbe and Hvitserk chased each other around in the water with long skinny sticks.

"Brother, what took you so long?" Hvitserk snickered as he bent sideways to stare her in the face.

Sigurd smacked her on the bottom. "This one wanted to pick every smelly flower in the forest."

"Sigurd, take me back on dry land," she said, pounding him in the middle of his back with her fists, "So help me, if you fuck around and drop me in this water and my hair gets wet, it's gonna be hell to tell the captain. And just in case you haven't figured it out I'm the motherfucking captain!"

"What's she going on about?" Ivar called from the bank.

Sigurd laughed, "She wants to swim."

Then he tossed her into the biting chill of the water. She emerged sputtering water and spitting mad. Their laughter only served to piss her off more. Hatemakers shot from her eyes like hollow points leaving the barrel of a glock. When she finally had Sigurd locked and loaded in her sights, she treaded water like she had an engine shoved up her crack and Bobby Boucher'ed his ass so hard he hurtled through the air. He smacked the water harder than Angela did Marcus, and he went under. Now it was her turn to laugh and do the fool she did. Ubbe and Hvitserk gawked at her as if she'd sprouted wings and a tail.

Sigurd clawed his way back to the surface gasping and coughing. "Who in the name of Odin taught you how to swim, Thor?"

The sound of laughter and clapping floated from the bank. Bonnie turned to see Ivar's incandescent methane orbs flashing hella bright. Yet somehow the brilliance of his smile rivaled even the bewitching dazzle of his eyes. He'd baited and hooked her without even casting the lure. Now the unexplainable pull between them would reel her in. Pushing the mass of dripping curls from her face, she began to walk toward the shore.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hvitserk whispered next to her ear, before scooping her off her feet, "You've a lesson to learn."

"Oh, Hvitserk, you just better bring it!" She yelled as she bucked and squirmed in his grasp, "That goes for your sisters too."

With that said he dunked her in the water, when she reemerged Ubbe had a hold of her, "Many apologies, my lady. You were saying?" He questioned, regarding her with eyes the same shade as a cloudless sky.

She gave him a closed lip smile, and then slapped her cheeks, allowing all of the water in her mouth to spray him in the face. When he released her, she dove under the surface, grabbed him by the ankles and snatched him off his feet, literally. Then she went after Hvitserk next. Anticipating an attack, he and Sigurd took on a defense stance. So, they planned to make this a joint effort. She gave herself a mental nod, noted. Tired of playing around, she hiked her skirts up just beneath the curve of her ass and knotted it high on her hip. Sigurd and Hvitserk exchanged a smirk. Not wasting a second she struck. First, she climbed, and then wrapped herself around Sigurd. In a maneuver reminiscent of the Black Widow, she used his body weight and gravity against him. Once more he soared through the air.

She turned to Hvitserk and he gave her the smile which let her know he thirst for blood and the rush. Yep, she'd saved the most savage for last. Leaping on him, she wrapped her legs around his waist. He automatically grabbed a fist full of ass. Sexual lust overpowered his blood lust. Big mistake. She snapped backwards in a back bend, the memento snatched him off his feet and he went free falling face first into some rather high-quality H2O.

While the brothers attempted to figure out which step led to their downfall, Bonnie left the water to find Bjorn standing on the bank. His look of indifference remained true to the inner workings of his mind.

"You move well," he said as he reached down to place one hand on a bare hip and the other on the knot that secured her skirt. In a swift tug he released the drenched material. "I've never seen anyone fight that way or toss about men twice their size."

A memory of Bjorn giving Torvi the business end of some serious wood flashed at the forefront of Bonnie's mind. Unable to maintain eye contact, she dropped her gaze to the ground, "It's nothing. We were just messing around; I'd hoped to learn how to manage one of their sticks." Ivar snickered and that's when she realized how it sounded. "You know...for fishing." She added to be Visine clear.

"If you're to learn to manage anyone's stick, it'll be mine," Bjorn stepped closer and crowded her personal space.

The heat which came off of him reminded her of the predicament she now found herself. She was drenched and it had to be every bit of fifty-eight degrees out and dropping. The boys came trudging out the water behind her.

Ubbe walked up on her until the hard press of his chest collided with her back. One of his hands moved to grip her neck, while the other rose to lay possessively across her belly. He lowered his mouth next to her ear, "The gods were with you this day, Valkyrie. Yet, we'll see what the morrow brings." He then released her and moved around her to sit next to Ivar.

"You think yourself clever with that trick in the water, do you?" Sigurd asked, while tugging one of her curls as he passed. "Well, I know a few tricks too and mine are sure to put you on your back as well." With his gaze still locked on her, he dropped down on the other side of Ubbe.

Hvitserk spun her around to face him. "One detail," he snatched her skirts up around her hips and lifted her. Her legs wrapped around his waist. A sliver of space remaining between them provoked him to tug her closer until her naked sex pressed firmly against his bare lower abdomen muscles. On contact, the sinewy tissue flexed against her clit and try as she might, she couldn't stop the groan that burst from her lips. His eyes rolled closed, and gasps of air rushed from his mouth as he rested his forehead on hers. "I had to be certain." After a moment he allowed her body to slip from his.

"Of what?" She questioned, slightly swaying as she shifted her skirts back in place.

"I was home," he said, before stealing a kiss and darting away.

Something a breath away from recognition flared within her. She pressed to fingers to her lips to help preserve the feel and weight of Hvitserk's mouth on hers. Where the hell did she know his kiss?

Bjorn shot his younger siblings hell bred units. "Come, Bonnie. It's almost time for second meal and Queen Aslaug would like for us to attend her in the great hall...again." She didn't miss the annoyance which saturated his again.

"Alright, let me just grab my basket," she strode to pick up the wicker carrier and the world turned upside down.

Then it overturned and became consumed by Ivar's sculpted to perfection features. When she'd sacrificed her better judgement and walked too closed to him, he'd snatched her off her feet by an ankle. Once down on his turf, he'd flipped her over and yanked her to him like a virgin slated for sacrifice. Now he loomed over her larger than life. She'd played herself by forgetting he was the one to watch. The most dangerous of them all.

"I can see in your eyes you know your error is grave," he spoke to her in that soft accented tone that all ways fucked over her senses. "Next time you will not dismiss me so effortlessly because you believe me to be at a disadvantage, hmm?"

The sheer beauty of him outshined the ever-radiant torch she still carried for Niklaus. And Ivar the Boneless was right there! Right there in front of her! If ever there was a pass to be given for one indiscretion in a relationship, surely this was the time. Ignoring all the legitimate reasons as to why she shouldn't, she reached up and ran the pad of her index finger over one smooth brow. The perfectly arched hair felt silky to the touch.

Stunned, he stared down at her, confusion bunching those very brows while slightly parting those luscious lips. Her gaze flicked to the bottom one. It drew her thumb like a super magnet attracted to a pile of scrap metal. First contact almost made her swallow her tongue. Nothing could've prepared her for such fleshy softness. You'd think his lips had never known a day without Carmex. Damn, she had to know what it felt like to have his mouth on hers! Cupping her other hand around the nape of his neck, she used the hold to guide his lips towards hers even as she arched upwards to meet him halfway.

"Ivar, we have spoken much on you remaining free of mischief," Bjorn said, yanking Ivar off of her and plopping him back down on the plot of grass next to Ubbe.

Bonnie climbed to her feet, dusting herself off as she went. For a moment, their she'd almost pulled a damn Elena. Acting first and thinking never. Difference was she didn't have a scrappy side-chick running to have her back when she wrote a check her ass wasn't equipped to cash out. No! She needed to stay focused and figure out why the hell an immortal witch spell brought her all the way back to the Viking era. And it wasn't even the real Viking era. She was trapped in a television series loosely tailored after a raider who lived over a thousand years ago.

"Thanks for helping me today, Sigurd," She said, while allowing Bjorn to take her hand. "It would've taken me longer to locate the things I needed without you.

"You're welcome to my help whenever you have need of it," He said, grinning up at her.

Bonnie nodded then looked to the other brothers. "Ubbe, Hvitserk...Ivar," she held Ivar's gaze a moment longer than called for, before continuing, "thank you for being superb stress relievers." She wound her shoulders in counterclockwise circles as she cocked her head from one side to the other until she heard the pop. "Didn't realize how backed up I was until you guys worked me out a little."

"Then you should prepare yourself," Ubbe said, giving her a sideways glance, "for stress will no longer be a worry of yours." His bottomless cobalt glare, glanced down the length of her body before returning back to her face. Hvitserk and Sigurd snorted.

She held his gaze until Bjorn guided her from the enclosure of the cove back into the woods. Once out of his and Ivar's soul disturbing stare, she exhaled. For the next several minutes, she and Bjorn walked back to Kattegat in silence. After fiddling with the handle of the basket, attempting to work up the nerve to find something to say, Bjorn spoke first.

"I spoke with Floki today and he told me the fleet I commissioned won't be ready to sail until next Spring," he said, bending to pick up a stick from the path, "which is just as well, since Torvi is carrying again. I've already sent a messenger to King Harald."

"Wait," she stopped mid-step, "Torvi's pregnant?"

He walked a little further before he realized she'd halted. Once he did, he turned back to face her, his expression unreadable as ever. "Yes."

"C-congratulations, Asa's gonna be beautiful," she said, without thinking. Her mind to set on the fact she was adrift somewhere between season 4 part 1 and 2. How the hell would she navigate over the course of the year without knowing what happens from one moment to the next?

Bjorn cradled her face in his hands. "Are you saying this babe will be a girl?"

Damn! Well, the cat has left the bag. She nodded and a brilliant smile that could put the sun out of business blossomed on his face. His joy even provoked the corners of her mouth to travel north. "I'm very much proud to have boys, but after what happened to my first child...Siggy, it is my belief that by blessing me with a girl this time, the gods have shown me favor."

The blend of his happiness and vulnerability disarmed her defenses. She leapt into his arms, hugging him tight to her. The best her lack of height would allow anyway. All she wanted was to give him the comfort and support he'd shown her since her world went bat-shit. Bjorn, however, must've misread into things, because he had her pinned to the nearest tree attempting to raise her skirts.

He pressed kisses into the side of her neck as he worked to hike up her skirts and wrap her legs around him at the same time. "My man stand has nigh burst awaiting consent to plow you." He grind an oversized bulge into her bare center, and she squealed, not sure whether it was in delight or protest.

"Bjorn, I'm so sorry," she gritted through clenched teeth. Not trusting what would come flying out of her mouth if she opened it fully. "I didn't mean to lead you on. I'm a hugger." She babbled. "I only meant to offer you a hug of friendship."

He stilled and leaned away to peer down at her with a scrunched red face. "What?" Backing away, he let her feet drop to the ground. "Who in the name of the All-Father offers passionate embraces as a form of friendship?"

"Look, Bjorn," she lifted her chin, ready to no means no, his ass. "I'm sorry if you misread things, but you're married-,"

"Misread?!" His eyes nearly leapt from their sockets as he snorted his disbelief. "And what of all the lusty ways I notice you watching me when you think I don't see?"

She lied with a straight face. "You're mistaken."

"I'm not mistaken," he backed her into the same tree, "just last eve your eyes pleaded with me-,"

"And that's another thing," she said, cutting him off. "Don't take this wrong, because I'm grateful for you and Torvi's kindness, but when can we start on the restoration of Rollo's house?"

He stared at her a moment without saying anything. "We can begin soon after we finish daggmal on the morrow." Her head bobbed, and then she moved to step around him. He grabbed her arm to halt her movements. "Are you leaving my keep because I chose to lay with my wife?"

Her eyes bucked and she shook her head until she thought it would fly off her neck, "Of course not. I'm leaving because you both deserve privacy and not some stranger interrupting your lives."

"You're not a stranger, Mystical One," he rested his forehead on hers, "we're bonded by the oath we swore. You and I are a part of each other until one of us enters Valhalla."

[amibeann]

immortality review??

I've just finished immortality - or at least how much I feel like finishing - and I have thoughts about the gameplay and I want to get them on paper.

General cw for the game as given by the devs: strong language, violence, blood and gore, as well as nudity, sexual content, and the use of alcohol and drugs.

Refer to halfmermaid.co/content-warning for a detailed content warning.

I won't be talking about these things in my "review" but if you're interested in checking it out - which I do still recommend despite all the complaining I'm about to do - I thought I would mention it.

What is Immortality?

Immortality is an FMV (full motion video) game where you progress the story by interacting with a series of pre-filmed clips featuring real live actors and shit. The premise as to why you're scouring through all these clips is that you are investigating the disappearance of a once up-and-coming star Marissa Marcel. The clips are from the three movies that she made but were never released: Ambrosio, a gothic sexploitation film from the 60s, Minski, an indie crime drama from the 70s, and Two of Everything, a big budget 90s take on the prince and the pauper but with a popstar.

How does the gameplay work?

So this is what I really want to talk about because Immortality's gameplay is really interesting and unique but also I think they could have pushed the concept much further.

Interacting with the clips basically works like one of those games where you have to find things in a big illustration but in video format. By pausing a clip and clicking on an object or a face, you will then be taken to a different clip with the same thing you clicked on. So for example, if you clicked on a chair in one clip, you will be taken to another clip with a chair in it. This is called the match cut system and is the majority of the progression in the game. However, when you match cut to a new clip, you won't necessarily be taken to the beginning of a clip. You're more likely to be dropped somewhere in the middle. So you have to go back, and when you scrub through the clip backwards, you may see something....odd.

Image credit: PC Invasion

There's a second clip layered on top of the one you were watching and, by finding the correct roll back speed, you can pop yourself into the other clip.

Personally, while the effect is really neat and genuinely freaked me out, I think the game obscures these from the player too well. Or at least on mouse and keyboard. You see, when you're watching a clip that has a secret in it, there's a ominous hum that'll play in one ear channel. But when you play with controller you will also get a rumble. My problem is that the hum, while obvious when you know to look for, it is far too subtle on it's own. I wish there was another indicator of the secret clips so that keyboard and mouse players aren't as disadvantaged like a slight discolouration or something.

Also, you know how when you match cut chances are it'll take you to the middle of a clip and you'll need to go back? In theory this would make the player stumble on the secrets far easier as they have to scroll through the clip to get to the start. However, we are given a button to instantly take us back to the beginning. While this button makes looking though the surface level of the clips more convenient, I does mean that I didn't feel encouraged to manually scroll back through clips if I didn't have to. I think removing these buttons would vastly improve the experience and make it much easier and rewarding to find the secrets organically.

It's a shame because these secret clips are the true heart of Immortality. While I don't want to feel directly lead to the cool stuff with the devs handholding me, I think the game lacks a feeling of direction. My whole playthrough I felt like I was only stumbling on clips and throwing shit at the wall to see what sticks.

This kind of free-for-all exploration is fine for the first couple of hours but I feel like over the course of my playthrough I should be becoming more purposeful in what clips I was investigating and what objects I was match-cutting. Eventually, I gave up on finding the secrets and used a walkthrough. Funnily enough I felt more engaged with the story while I was doing this. I think the main crux of the issue is that I want Immortality to give me a more explicit puzzle for me to solve in it's gameplay.

Where I think they could have added more to is single frame flashes of things. We have the ability to go through frame by frame but aside from match-cutting something quick, it feels underutilised. I'm thinking of ARGs like iamsophie where we needed to go frame by frame to pick up on a clue that was only there for a second. This could be used to guide players towards specific clips to search for secrets through riddles or something. Maybe they flash a frame from a clip with a secret in and you have to identify that clip. Maybe they give a push to what the player should be match-cutting. I feel like this kind of feature could be used by the designers to guide the players in a way that A: fits the atmosphere and the theming and B: doesn't feel overly obtrusive. Nor would it require them to reshoot any of those films so budget wise, it should be feasible.

Conclusion?

Immortality is a unique and interesting experience that I wish was pushed further. I don't really have anything to say about the story, not to mean it's bad or uninteresting or anything. It's themes about the role of the artist and living though one art isn't exactly ground-breaking. The only real explicit problem I have with the narrative is that the use of symbolism is rather cliché. They rely on apple, snake and Christian symbolism which is pretty done to death so I wish they were more creative in that respect.

But it executes these ideas very impactfully and the actors kill it. I was super happy to see Marissa's actress Manon Gage get nominated for the VGAs but I wish the woman who played The One, Charlotta Mohlin, got recognised as well. Everyone in the cast gives a believable and dynamic performance and I'd recommend this game solely because of them. Also, the films look beautiful and reinforces my opinion that everything should be shot on film.

end.

[dysperdis]

@transpolice

I'm not reblogging your whole response. People can click through to see it for themselves if they wanna make sure I'm not making shit up, but I don't want that copy/paste throw-everything-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks behemoth on my blog. For folks who don't find that description appealing, the arguments can basically be summed up as:

1) One of the terms we currently use to refer to trans experiences arose in the 1960s and has evolved quite a bit over the last 50 or so years, so therefore it's all fake. Which, aside from the absurd enthocentrism- apparently, nobody had anything comparable to our current understanding of a "gender identity" until that exact English phrase was coined- just demonstrates a poor understanding of how the language of sexuality and gender has evolved over time (see my post about the origins of the label bisexual for another example of this evolution).

2) Evoking John Money, aka the guy who proved that forcing an accidentally-castrated dmab child to live as a girl (eventually, against the child's wishes) and performing pedophilic "experiments" on them in order to argue that intersex children can be forced to hold a specific gender identity is harmful. This is somehow proof that people who have expressed a desire to live as a specific gender are wrong.

3) A HBSer wrote some stuff in the 70s that doesn't fit the current understanding of how identity forms. She may or may not have coined a word that's currently in use.

4) The claim that if trans women are allowed to be considered women, it kicks butches out of the community & forces them to id as trans, which tbh sounds suspiciously like the "transsexuals are stealing our butches" shit that I've watched TERFs pull since I first started coming out. It's also blaming trans people for the shit straight cis people dump on butches, so that's fun.

5) A firm misunderstanding of what a social construct is. Now tbh I've been expecting this since I saw the first screen's worth of your response, so I'm surprised it took this long for you to spell it out. Anyway, here's a hint from someone who's devoted almost half his life to studying this shit: all symbols and categories, including bio sex categories, are socially constructed and negotiated. Every single one. This is why there is no single scientific definition of sex, and why the broadest definitions of sex categories have changed even just over the last 150 years. It's also why I've met so many intersex folks over the years who have rejected the construction of a strict sex binary and the related idea that intersex bodies are inherently disordered. (To quote the world's largest association of intersex people: "The purpose of OII is to work in favour of human rights for intersex by helping people to understand that there are not just two pre-existing sexes... OUR societies have accepted a binary construct between male and female which does not reflect Nature and the enormous variety of possible sexes which overlap one another in various gradations on a spectrum with male at one end and female at the other." -OII Intersex Network)

6) A strawman argument that turns the theory that dysphoria arises from a socially constructed incongruence (because, as mentioned above, all categories are constructed) into "dysphoria is internalized transphobia." If I were to hazard a guess, those accusations of internalized transphobia prooobably have more to do with the fact that you've been claiming thst other people experiencing things in a way that doesn't reflect the same kind of pain you experience demeans your experience, thereby positioning pain as the root of all trans experience.

7) Cis people mistreat transsexuals because some trans people don't fit their standards, and not because transsexuality is culturally treated as deviance from the cis norm that must be discouraged and hidden whenever possible.

Bonus: Did you know that I've seen literally every. single. argument. you've made from supporters of an actual anti-lgbt+ hate group that's been active in my area, which in turn has been using the divide and conquer strategy from the 2017 values voter summit in an attempt to undermine the new lgbtq+ inclusive resources and curriculums in BC? Like, absolutely 0 exaggeration, every single argument, all used in support of a group that's fighting against recognizing families with gay parents over a decade after same sex marriage was federally recognized in my country. Again, if you're wondering why people are accusing you of internalized transphobia...

Anyway, I've hit the point where I think I need a strong drink, so I'm going to stop here before I start digging too heavily into deviance theories & end up buried under a pile of textbooks.

Teenage transmedicalist fresh out of grade 9 biology class: You NEED dysphoria to be trans, it’s the only requirement! Just ask the medical experts, they’ll tell you!

The American Psychiatric Association: No you don’t, and no it isn’t.

The World Medical Association: Sure, dysphoria’s common in trans people, but it’s not necessary.

World Health Organization: Including GID and Gender Dysphoria diagnoses in official diagnostic standards pathologizes trans people. (pdf)