#bartimaeus au

[nathaniel-underwood-is-an-intj]

You know what Nathaniel Underwood needed?

A three hour session in a rage room.

[fauna-a]

VI The Lovers

¡Reincarnation AU! Who knows me knows I have a soft spot for these two.

Life has its own way to slam doors in your face. You lived for millennia and millennia, dodging death with virtuosity and grace; when your time came, you accepted the Dark Lady’s hand with the same grace, almost looking forward the upcoming rest.[1]

And instead, the universe had found a way to tell me one more time how incomparable and unique was my presence on Earth; and, if that wasn’t enough, had made me human.

Talk about good luck.

It was a very different Earth compared to the one I’d left: no magic, no spirits, no Other Place to my knowledge. In other ways, instead, it was sadly the same, see wars, violence, assorted spite.

In my other life, I had met humans who believed in reincarnation, but no one had ever applied the concept to spirits, maybe because no one thought we had a soul. And instead, look at this: until now, I had met only spirits transmuted (can’t find a better word) in humans.[2] Maybe things  were going like this: in the other world humans went on and beyond, while we had to do all the procedures. Bah.

The gust of wind preceding the metro coming distracted me; the train came, the doors opened, people came out… A girl bumped lightly into me with her shoulder; she had long dark hair gathered in cornrows whose tips were dyed green. That green made something spring in me, a recognition.

Without thinking twice, I turned around and followed her,[3] hoping to not receive some pepper spray (very much justified anyway).

«Excuse me!»

She turned around suddenly, and I recognised her without a doubt. Don’t ask me why or how, but I knew it was her.

«Queezle?»

«Bartimaeus!»

In my other life, I had never been used to hug people; it wasn’t something you did among spirits, that usually don’t have a body. And, well, it’s not I was going around hugging humans.[4]

But Queezle had always been particular, different; and I wasn’t surprised to find her in my arms. She was very thin: I could feel her shoulders’ bones under my hands.

«I was wondering when you’ll show up» she muttered; she had those stupid airpods on her ears, with a cascade of earrings. «You have to tell me everything».

«Nah» I shrugged. «Nothing much to say. Saved the world once or twice, dead, came here. Nothing more».

Her bony arms couldn’t let me go. «Idiot. I’ve missed you».

Hugs, huh. Maybe a thing that humans got right in all the world there was.

[1] Some humans believed there was a place after death, sort of reward (or punishment) because of your conduct during your life. I had never thought about it. But maybe it would be nice getting some rest in company of some old friends… Even if I doubted that spirits humans could end up in the same place, if it even existed.

[2] Yes, I had met Jabor. No, it hadn’t been pleasant. No, I won’t elaborate because we both were in a phase of a life when humans are barely sentient.

[3] I just had to go to work, after all. A human nonsense.

[4] Unless it was a way to stab them in the back.

[whumpster-fire]

Bartimaeus Sequence AU where in Golem's Eye Nathaniel is like "No there is no way I am summoning Bartimaeus again I am not stupid enough to summon a djinni who knows my birth name" but he's desperate to find a competent spirit and then he remembers that Bartimaeus recommended Faquarl's name, and he takes him up on that.

Bonus points if he does summon Bartimaeus but just to confirm that Faquarl was in fact the guy who broke him out of the Tower of London and otherwise fact-check his resume, leaving Bartimaeus torn between not wanting to praise Faquarl or acknowledge his achievements and wanting to get him stuck working with an annoying little twerp.

Double Bonus Points if Faquarl recognizes Nathaniel from the kitchen at Heddleham Hall and figures out what happened, and on one hand thinks the kid will be easier to manipulate than Makepeace, but on the other hand he is not letting Bartimaeus get away with this so he keeps being like: "Oh, well, this sort of thing isn't my area of expertise, but my old associate and worthy adversary Bartimaeus would be perfect for this job." Leading to Nathaniel summoning both of them and the rest of Golem's Eye being a complete disaster of a "buddy" comedy where they bicker the entire time and piss Nathaniel off but he refuses to dismiss either of them because he knows damn well if either one of them wins the "annoy master until he dismisses you first and gets the other one stuck in your service" competition the the other will become even worse.

[scribefindegil]

tfw you have a crossover/au idea where you're like "listen this would never work because the themes and stakes and worldbuilding are all so different in incompatible ways and you can't really map the characters onto each other satisfyingly and there are a zillion other reasons I will never make this an actual thing. HOWEVER that will not stop me from microwaving the concept in my mind for many days."

[nadiajustbe]

Listen

Au, in which Faquarl has a prestigious restaurant where he works as a chef, and Bartimaeus and Nathaniel suddenly come there on a date.

[kostantina]

Mannn The Bartimaeus Sequence (which includes alternate history and magic) was fun to read as someone interested in real-life Holy Roman Empire or history and magic in general. Of course, my interest in Female HRE x England and Female HRE x Czechia/Bohemia also has an important contribution haha. It gives me ideas to imagine with these pairings. The love interest who had found their death because of what the person who loved them represented (Fem HRE x England), resulting in that person's rise in magical prominence, and the love interest who had found a place to become more alive from what the person who loved them represented, resulting in that person's rise in magical prominence (Female HRE x Czechia). Like, they both had become magically dominant in different ways in relation to HRE, with the British Empire taking over its capital and Czechia's capital becoming the imperial capital. The series made me very interested in the idea of the Holy Roman Empire being Czech-based instead of German-based. The Empire was only briefly mentioned in the novels, but OHHH do the words about it lightened up my imagination. HRE had its capital in Prague and was magically prominent for centuries since Rudolf II and until its dissolution (not explicitly stated though) and was even referred to as the Czech Empire.

It had its golden ages with the aforementioned emperor, who, in real life, had been interested in alchemy and occult and had his court in the said city. HRE had been ruled by magicians, unlike Britain, and had been the most powerful magical realm before the British Empire took over its position in 1868. It wasn't dissolved in 1806 as in reality.

The concept is fascinating.

But before that, the British Empire was already powerful without magic, focusing on the improvement of its non-magical industry and seafaring and becoming more advanced than HRE, which had grown weak, in many ways. Although the British Parliament was still afraid of the possibility of HRE's attack. Then, boom, a magician took over the British government and finally defeated HRE under his leadership.

The heartland of the Empire still survived (Bohemia/Czechia) and based on the second book (The Golem's Eye), had a truce with the British Empire, although its people were infiltrating Britain, breaking the truce. The Czech language was also taught to the magician protagonist, which highlighted the importance of the Czech-based Holy Roman Empire in the history of magic, while the current Czech magicians were not as powerful as during the days of the Empire.

[oleanderandwatermelons]

FOLKS! Do you want to help someone in need? Do you want to get a nice ficlet in exchange?

I, @saint-oleander (here on Ao3)*, am here for you.

Due to a constant increase of requests for help and my current lack of funds, I have decided that for any donation to a fundraiser after sept 1st I will write a ficlet to whomever may request it**.

*Sideblog made for management reasons, more info on my pinned post

**Waiting time heavily dependent on whatever is going on at work.

To do so, hit my inbox with a proof of your donation and this tiny form:

Fandom: Character(s): Prompt (+ optional backup prompt): Ao3 name*: Link to the campaign**:

*Optional, but since I will archive them on ao3 too, if you want them gifted over there put your user here so I can do that

**Let's promote the campaign of your choice!

RULES:

donation must have been made after September 1st 2024

proof must have a visible date and campaign name (MIND TO OBSCURE PERSONAL INFORMATION!)

I WON'T WRITE: gore, explicit sexual scenes, mafia!aus, ABO-aus

TIERS (donation + corresponding minimum word count):

5$ - 100 words 10$ - 250 words 15$ - 500 words 25$ - 1000 words

Masterposts of fundraisers I shared on my main blog if you need suggestions (but you can donate to any Palestinian campaign):

PART ONE 🍉 PART TWO 🍉 PART THREE 🍉 PART FOUR 🍉 PART FIVE

Other campaigns will also be shared on this blog under the fundraiser tag

Share, donate and request away! 🍉🍉🍉

FANDOMS, below the cut:

*List in alphabetical order and subject to updates

911 abc

Bartimaeus Sequence

Good Omens

Haikyuu!! (mainly Karasuno and their orbit)

Koe no Katachi (manga and movie)

Koisenu Futari

Lockwood and Co.

MCU (I stopped watching at Endgame so do not stray further)

One Piece (manga, live action)

Ranma 1/2

Spy x Family

The Hobbit trilogy

The Lord of the Rings

The Umbrella Academy (except for season 4)

The Witcher (Netflix series)

[pompomnium]

Please read from right to left. This is BartNat. 'Bartimaeus attends Nathaniel's funeral after his body is found' This manga was drawn in line with such requests. For me this was a so difficult request, consider this as one possible AU story among many.

The following is my fantasy. I couldn't explain it just within the manga...... Although Bart is sorry for Nat's death, they understood each other perfectly in their parting. Therefore, for Bart, Nat's death is not just sad. I think there is also the joy of having a heart-to-heart with Nat, whom he had hated for so many years. That is why the end of PG is sad but has a somewhat refreshing aftertaste. So Bart often reflects on Nat's death. Not because it is a memory of pain, but because it is a memory of his strong friendship with him. Well, even if that is the case, Bart's split on Nat's death is because he feels ‘that we did everything we could’, so if the possibility that there really was a way to save them both came into Bart's mind, he would feel bitter. I can't think that Bart actually believes that Nathaniel will be reborn (because Ptolemy doesn't come to see Bart after two thousand years), but he can live with the hope that he will see him somewhere down the road. I hope that through Nat, Bart has also healed the memory of his separation from Ptolemy. It would be nice to have a grave for Nathaniel and a grave for John Mandrake, respectively. In Bart's mind, the two are not similar. Even as Bart, he would not want to go near Mandrake's grave, even though Nathaniel's death deserves to be mourned. Probably.

Also, in my mind, the relationship between Bart and Kitty is similar to that of a father and daughter. I think that protecting Kitty, whom Nat wanted to protect, is what Bart can do for Nat. There's too much to write about when I'm trying to describe Nat's death. I hope to draw the same subject again at some point. Thank you for taking a look. PS Not sure if Latin is accurate. If you have a better translation suggestion, please let me know.

[the-nameless-wacky-inventor]

I feel like if you read little thieves by margaret owen and also bartimaeus by jonathan stroud the royalty au will start to make a lot of sense. also the first book in the queens thief series

[deliriousraven]

am being eaten alive by my lockwood and co necromancy au rn (think locked tomb). I've always wished Stroud had gotten more into the actual theory of how death works and all ways Marissa has manipulated it (It's basically implied that Sir Rupert has Sight as an adult and no one ever talks about it?), and I think there's just so much potential to explore there. I think necromancy would just make the whole Problem so much spicier, specifically through the lens of spirit magic.

consider the river and the other place as different layers of the same metaphysical realm (think planes in bartimaeus). Marissa is almost a wannabe jod with all her fiddling with death, but consider the consequences of that on a smaller scale: a localized blockage in the river, rather than totally cutting it off. consider the sexy tlt-esque possession mechanics that we barely got with Marissa. consider the parallels between thanergy and psychic energy, and how sudden and violent death, unfinished purposes, etc allow the dead to stay tethered (just like tlt revenants!). what are type threes? what are the conditions for necromancers to be born (after all, they can only be born on the planets jod killed in tlt), and what level of necromancy is possible in this less fucked up universe? I imagine aptitude and talent are distinct, and not mutually inclusive. Spirit magic is obviously more directly related to everything ghost-related, but how do other forms of necromancy affect Visitors and the other side?

[nathaniel-underwood-is-an-intj]

Bartimaeus AU but it's Matilda

So I watched Matilda because I couldn't get the idea of Ms Lutyens = Miss Honey out of my mind; and I think Nathaniel deserves a happy ending with a cottagecore lesbian coded mother, but it actually works surprisingly well??

• Instead of Matilda Wordwood it's Nathaniel Underwood.

• Instead of telekinesis Nathaniel summons Bartimaeus to cause trouble.

• "Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty" -*summons a demon in his bedroom*

• Lavender would probably be Kitty.

• Nathaniel and Ms Lutyens bond over art rather than books but he still reads way above his age and is a very intelligent kid.

• "Arthur Underwood lived in a very nice neighborhood, in a very nice house, but he wasn't a very nice person"

• "Underwood was so wrapped up in his own silly life he barely realised he had a son, had he paid any attention to him at all, he'd have realised he was a rather extraordinary child"

• "The happiest part of the story is that Nathaniel and Ms Lutyens each got what they had always wanted; a loving family."

• "Nathaniel discovered to his great surprise that life could be fun, and he decided to have as much of it as possible- after all he was a very smart kid"

• Instead of Magnus (Miss honey's dad) it's Martha Underwood as Ms Lutyens' mother who died.

• Simon Lovelace instead of Trunchbull, who is Ms Lutyens' Uncle or cousin/brother because they're quite similar in age.

• Lovelace is paranoid about being found out as the murderer of Mrs Underwood.

• Nathaniel uses Bartimaeus to get Ms Lutyens' home back and scare Lovelace away.

• And Arthur Underwood signing the adoption papers over to Ms Lutyens at the end because absolutely everyone needs that to heal their soul.

[saint-oleander]

Mandrake and Co. masterpost

Bartimaeus Trilogy adventures, in a Lockwood and Co. AU

Hauntings are our business - on the formation of Mandrake and Co.

Chapter one: Strong and Safe (of Nathaniel John Mandrake) Chapter two: Boom! (of Bartimaeus Sakhr) Chapter three: Apocrypha (of Ptolemy Soter) Chapter four: Nightmare (of Kitty Jones)

Like silt in a pond - or, Queezle's life, before and after

Behind the counter - trials and tribulations of Simpkin's minimarket

All the pins inside your fretted head - or, Jakob Hyrnek after the accident

find the whole series here on ao3

Hauntings are our business is also available in Italian on ao3

[whumpster-fire]

Bartimaeus AU where everything is the same except Clem Hopkins has an invisible chronic pain disorder and within a week of taking over his body Faquarl goes "well this sucks, how do these people even live like this?" and cancels his taking over the world plan, but then has to spend the next two months trying to convince Makepeace that the experiment was a bad idea without revealing that he isn't Hopkins.

[rosie-tyler]

Au where Bartimaeus gets called out for his totallynotlove for his humans

[nadiajustbe]

I'm just hurting myself.

I also recently came up with an idea for an AU in which Nathaniel survives but never dares to summon Bartimaeus again because of a pang of guilt.

It's only then that he realizes how much he hadn't imagined his life without Bartimaeus in at least some part of it. Yes, there were moments, a year, two years, a month, when they were cut off from each other because it was a rule, because it was necessary, but the notion that he could see the djinni in front of him at any second by simply saying the right words hung in the air and (before he could never admit it) was reassuring to realize this. Now he is looking at the level of the pentacle line, just looking, not even summoning anyone, and he realizes that he simply cannot, that he will not, that he will not allow himself to see Bartimaeus even once.

Although the possibility seems to be so close, literally at arm's length, his throat tightens with a spasm, so that he is unable to make a sound, and his heart seems to be getting heavier, pounding madly somewhere far inside his body. Thousands of unwanted images float before his eyes — a half-dead frog sprawled across the floor, a pyramid of slime, a barely noticeable stream of smoke...All that Nathaniel had seen, all that he had known when he and Bartimeus were one, all that pain, disgust, contempt, unrealized hope - he closes his eyes at this thought every time - hate.

And he realizes that he will never be John Mandrake again. He will never be that selfish again. His ideas and feelings don't matter in this situation, it's better to leave everything as it should be. Or have should been.

Only then does he leave the circle.

He leaves, thinking that he will never come back here again, not in this state, but every damn time he finds himself here, on the cold floor, looking at the painted runes, clutching his hands.

And Kitty asks him every time if he is okay, absolutely honestly and sincerely worried about her friend, and he realizes that he has to lie to her again, because he will never be "okay" again. Because he feels that a piece of his being, maybe even his heart, has been taken away from him, and that Bartimeus was that piece.

But only for him.

Because to even consider him a part of himself, something connected to him even for a drop is already stupidity and the very selfishness that he so shuns inside himself.

Because Bartimaeus exists and will continue to exist independently of him, as a personality, as something alive and special.

This is exactly how it should have been and how it was not.

But Kitty doesn't need to know this.

So he squeezes out a slight smile and says, "Yes, everything is fine," that he is slowly but surely getting better.

And then he thinks that maybe he should have shared this when he opens the door of the empty, nighttime office with almost trembling hands.

Why has the wound from the blow never hurt like this?

At that moment, he mentally promises both her and himself that one day he will tell her absolutely everything.

He does this over and over again, as if in a cursed circle, betraying his promises.

[resinfossil]

You know how people with chronic pain tend to have completely different pain scales to everyone else? Imagine a scene in a Faquarl lives AU where Faquarl gets injured somehow and Nathaniel and Kitty are like "uhhh dude you should get medical treatment for that" and Faquarl and Bartimaeus are both like "??? wtf are you talking about"

Because Faquarl and Bartimaeus are both used to injuries and pain far worse than that, and they're still thinking about it in terms of how spirits deal with getting hurt

Alternatively, what if Faquarl is super freaked out about it? Because losing a lot of blood comes with a bunch of Symptoms that Faquarl wouldn't have experienced in that context before, and it's suddenly hitting him how much more vulnerable human bodies are and how much more difficult it is for them to heal