#baroviablogging

[doriantalksshit]

cant stop thinking about Strahd walking up to the Abbey asking for cheap copies of Ireena because the real one doesnt want him

he probably asked for it without any trace of shame too

wild

[doriantalksshit]

vargas vallakovich

text from my coworker

[doriantalksshit]

I've been keeping notes on the people we met so far in barovia. there's one in particular i want to share, since i wonder if anyone else agrees with me

[doriantalksshit]

i knew there'd be consequences to my actions but i didn't expect the consequences to be that consequent

[doriantalksshit]

with all the girlies and twinks spawns running around his castle you'd think they'd get some cleaning done but no. that place is filthy

[doriantalksshit]

one of these might suit him better

here's a thought: Strahd Von Zarovich in a cowboy hat

[doriantalksshit]

just put Strahd in a pet cone.

the fuck he gonna do about it? bite you? HAH

[doriantalksshit]

is that a wooden stake in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

[doriantalksshit]

we surely put on one hell of a show for him today oh boi

[doriantalksshit]

holy water is just anti mosquito spray for vampires

[doriantalksshit]

people want me so bad it makes them look stupid

i have a 2500gp bounty on my head

[doriantalksshit]

Im going to keep a list of very much legal activities me and the people I travel with have committed. I assure you we're making Barovia a safer place day by day.

multiple thefts/petty thefts

threats of violence/death threats (taking credit for most of those)

multiple cases of deadly bullying (taking credit for all of those❤️)

disturbance of peace

vandalism

multiple cases of assault

breaking & entering 

grave robbing

multiple murders (all out of self defence, except for one but it was an accident)

drugging the burgermeister and his wife

kidnapping a dog

freeing a prisoner

[doriantalksshit]

honestly tho i dont get why ireena is so opposed to having a sugar daddy. i mean yeah he's atrocious but if i were her id have him crawling at my feet in no time

[doriantalksshit]

if i had a copper for every time i found a random children's bone id have two coppers which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

[doriantalksshit]

why is everyone making us responsible for problems they've had for centuries

we've barely been here for a week