#bar kappara

[dadyomi]

Thursday 12/15, Nedarim 51: Basket Case

I’m not sure I entirely follow the moral of the story, but I’m pretty sure we’re not supposed to be mad at bar Kappara, and I enjoyed reading about him putting a basket on his head to make Rabbi Yehuda laugh, even though he knew he shouldn’t.

[yidspiration]

On True Names

“In any case, the Rabbis and latter rabbinic commentators are clear that when a person’s name is changed, it is VERY VERY NOT OK to call them by their old name.  Like, violating divine commandments not OK.

(“Negative commandment” in the text below means, like, one of the “do not”s of the Torah, and a positive commandment is one of the “do’s”.  So “Keep Shabbat” is a positive commandment, and “Don’t murder” is a negative commandment--got it?)

So you see the Talmud (Brachot 13a) saying,

Bar Kappara taught: Anyone who calls Abraham “Abram” transgresses a positive commandment, as it is stated: “And your name will be Abraham” (Genesis 17:5). Rabbi Eliezer says: [the act of doing this] transgresses a negative commandment, as it is stated: “And your name shall no longer be called Abram.”

Got that?  Calling Abraham by his old name is a violation of not just one, but two different categories of commandments.  The sanctity of this name change is real, and the harm it causes by not honoring it is not just interpersonal, but theological.

Referring to Abraham by his former name is, indeed, a sin.”

- Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg, "On True Names", https://lifeisasacredtext.substack.com/

[thecandywrites]

Kinktober Day 20- Spanking/Impact Play

Did not expect this to be turn out this way but I love it. And it's another fun twist on the prompt.

Kinktober Day 20- Spanking/Impact play. 

Sha'tari braced as her face was slapped by her interrogator, Haman, who was the Shah’s Captain and Chief of his Shah's Palace’s Guards. It was the first time she had gotten punished by this particular person, but Sha'tari felt relieved that he wasn't using a worse method in his interrogation.  

“You are going to tell me what I want to know.” Haman insisted. 

“Then you are going to have to be content with lies because I’ve already told you everything I know and the whole truth and anything more is a lie.” Sha’tari insisted to him as her hands were bound above her head but her hand gestures portrayed her own frustrations that she was not being believed.

“You were caught fleeing the palace conveniently just as the Shah was found dead in his rooms after you were called to serve him as the concubine tonight.” Haman reminded her. 

“I told you, he was dead when I came in there. When I saw he was dead, I knew it was my only chance to escape before I and the other concubines who had the great misfortune of being bought to be in his harem would be buried alive with his dead body in his tomb.” Sha’tari insisted. 

“Ok, fine, let’s say you’re right. How would he have died if you had not killed him?” Haman asked. 

“His heart probably failed because the Shah was severely overweight. He damn near smothers us when we are called to serve him in bed. It was just a matter of time before his heart, probably clogged with all the fats dripping from every morsel of food he’s ever eaten, probably clogged his blood vessels.” Sha’tari answered.

“You speak as if you are a physician. But reading and writing are forbidden for women to learn here.” Haman insisted as his eyes narrowed suspiciously at her but she defiantly held his intense gaze and returned it just as severely.

“Well it’s not forbidden where I am from. In my homeland boys and girls go to school and learn side by side and are given equal opportunities to gain and prove their intelligence. I just happened to be captured and brought to him and sold to him as a concubine. I am a native of Huratan. My name is Sha’tari Salri, my father is Serf Bar Kappara. I was nearby collecting the milk of poppy for medicine for my father who is a physician and he learned at the feet of Iban Sina in Isfahan. So yes, I am very educated. I am just as educated and learned as any other physician because my mother too is a physician. She was a midwife before she even met my father and together they treat everyone of all that ails them in Urhe which is the closest Huratan prefecture." She repeated again.

"And if I was going to kill the Shah, don’t you think I would have done so before I ever had to lay with him?! Before I got to know all too well what it feels like to be smothered by a man who is more fat than anything?" And whose own fat rolls have to be lifted up just so his cock can find a pussy to begin with? And don't you think I would have killed him especially once I had laid with him and found I was the lowlist of his concubines and just another slave under his roof?" Sha'tari tried to reason with him.

"Don’t you think, as a physician's daughter and having the same learning as both of my parents, that I’d know exactly what plants, especially flowers and herbs that grow in his palace gardens and which ones I could very easily poison him with? Just because he liked the look and scent of the flowers themselves? But no. I didn't do any of it. You know why?" Sha'tari instigated.

"Why?" Haman asked, intrigued with her line of reasoning.

"Because the moment I was found to be the Shah’s concubine, my parents actually congratulated me on being beautiful enough to catch his eye and he actually collected my dowry without ever having to marry me and the bastards who captured me got extra money for finding a rich concubine to add to his already overflowing harem. And I wasn't even allowed to be ransomed back to go home." Sha'tari revealed as it was clear to Haman that such a revelation had hurt Sha'tari more than anything he or anyone else had done to her thus far since she came here.

"All that you have found on me- is all of my worldly possessions which sadly aren’t worth much of anything. Do you see anything either on me or with me that I could have used to kill the Shah? No. Because while I know how to deliver babies and perform surgeries. I have neither knife, dagger or sword on me. But what I did have was medicine. Of which, have you found poison among the medicine I have made for myself that I could inflict on any other? No. Have you found riches that the Shah himself did not bestow on me? No. Have you found any clothing that was not already mine? No. The only things on me that were not mine were food from the kitchens and a few waterskins filled with water. That is all. Because that is all I wanted and all I needed to get back home. I could have poisoned the well of this palace, if I really wanted to. But that would only hurt all the other innocent people here. And the one person is guilty of stealing and taking was not rightfully his was the Shah himself, which the gods have already taken his life for. So my vengence and revenge is filled and satisfied. All you have found was an innocent woman trying to reclaim her freedom. If you're looking for the Shah's killer, look at his own bloated corpse, for no other could have ever brought any other harm to him except he himself." She pointed out even though she felt she was practically digging her own grave even admitting this much but she was beyond fed up with everything.

"So for the last three years I have simply survived being in the Shah’s harem, helping his wife and his other concubines give birth to his sons and daughters and watching his health decline. But of course any advice I gave him about his own health- he dismissed with very harsh punishments. So all I’ve been able to do is watch as he continued to decline. So, for the last time, I did not kill him. Although now? I’m wishing I had. I’m wishing I had the moment I came into this place whose roots reach down into hell itself. So go ahead. Slap me, whip me, torture me to death. I don’t care. But know that the punishments you give me as an innocent woman, the gods themselves will hold you accountable for.” She defied him as he could clearly see that the Shah’s treatment, nor his own had yet to break her. And she had the countanance of someone who was innocent and your argument was perfectly reasonable.

“Fine.” He simply said as he finally unlocked the shackles on her as she simply stood there and watched him before he picked up her pack and tossed it at her which caused her to catch it as it collided with her chest. 

“If you are the educated physician you say you are. Prove it. “ Haman challenged. 

“How?” She asked. 

“If you claim his heart failed. Show me.” He instructed.

“But it’s forbidden to defile the body of a Shah.” She frowned and shook her head no. 

“Either you prove he died of natural causes, or you get buried with him. Your choice.” He put to her. 

“Fine.” She huffed before she took her pack and went to the kitchens and got the smallest but sharpest knives there and returned with Haman to the Shah’s chamber where the Shah was still laying there and dead, but bleeding from all his orifices which was the next natural stage of death. But she simply rolled the fat pig that the Shah was onto his back.

And just like her father had done, she expertly cut his body open and reached under the ribcage to remove the lungs and then the heart and blew out a breath of relief, when it was clearly evident that the heart had failed, especially when she showed Haman all the arteries that were indeed clogged with solid fat. 

“Is that sufficient proof or should I dissect him some more?” She asked as she simply laid the Shah’s heart and his clogged arteries on the silver tray before she thoroughly washed her hands of his blood for the final time, riding herself of him in ever sense.

“How did you know? About his heart failing and the arteries full of fat?” Haman asked, in just plain astonishment. 

“The man is more fat than anything else. HIs diet was super fatty and super rich but supremely unbalanced. The only exercise he had was when he laid with his concubines. Otherwise he was happy to lay on his many couches and watch us dance or entertain him before falling asleep. Because laying all the way down on his back, all the fat on his belly would push back into his lungs and he couldn’t breathe. And he snored so badly that it was a wonder he didn’t choke on his own fatty throat.” She said as she motioned to the Shah’s many rolls of fat all over his body. 

“If you had killed him. How would you have done it?” Haman asked. 

“What? You want me to make up a confession just so you can hang me or bury me alive at sunrise?” She spat back at him accusingly. 

“No. No. You…you have already proved your innocence. It was clear his body failed him. You are not to blame. I just…I’m curious, that is all. Such things will not be held against you.” He promised her she narrowed her sharp gaze into him. 

“Fine. But at sunrise, I’m taking what I want from this place and I’m going home. And no one will stop me or come after me.” She insisted.

“You have my word.” Haman vowed before she took the torch and lighted all the lanterns in the Shah’s garden and pointed out which plants were poisonous and which ones weren’t before she simply laid them down on the rim of the fountain in the Shah’s palace garden fountain as Haman picked them all up like a bouquet and smelled them and had to admit, together, they did smell quite good. 

“I’m sorry.” Haman finally offered in apology. 

“Me too. I’m sorry for the others for when the truth will be known tomorrow. This place will be consumed with chaos.” She answered as she used the water of the fountain to wet her hair to try to braid it easier. 

“How much was in your dowry?” Haman asked.

“Not much, barely a talent of gold and one of silver.” Sha’tari answered. 

“It’s a long trek from here to where your parents are now is it not?” He asked. 

“It is. But who knows if they would even let me back into their house. I’m a concubine who has served the Shah in bed. It is forbidden for most to marry a woman who has that history." Sha'tari huffed through her nose as she just sat on the edge of the fountain and folded her arms over her chest and stared at the palace garden with disgust.

“Did anyone else in the Shah’s harem abuse you?” He asked. 

“Of course they did. All of them did. I was at the very bottom of the pecking order but I can tell you right now, that they will all demand that I be the first to be buried with that pig up there.” She answered as she glared up at the rooms that overlooked the gardens where the Shah’s body still laid, still half dissected. 

“Well then it’s a shame that you died under him as he tried laying with you one last time.” Haman insisted as she frowned as she turned to him and stared at him curiously. 

“Excuse me?” She asked. 

“It’s a shame that you died under the Shah as he laid with you one last time. And the fact that both of you had to be wrapped in that rug he’s currently laying on- because no one was strong enough to pull you apart and he could be put into his tomb an hour before sunrise and the tombstone put into place before anyone else can examine his body. And you could always leave with either any horse you want from his stables or any other camel he has. Take back your dowry in the riches in the Sultan’s rooms. Especially since most of it probably got wrapped up when we were wrapping him up to place him in his tomb. And the other concubines can either be woken up and given the choice, to be buried with him as a last act of loyalty. Or simply claim that you had served such loyalty for them so they can be free women too. Really, they should thank you for providing such a service.” Haman decided. 

“Why would you do such a thing?” She asked wearily.  

“I didn’t get the job of being the Shah’s Chief Captain of his Palace Guard for my looks or brute strength or even my intelligence or military might. But for my honesty. I was the one who informed the Shah that his former Captain was abusing his power and stealing the riches in the Shah’s treasury because the Shah was too preoccupied with his concubines to notice. That’s how he was killed and all those that knew of it and agreed to it and took part of it, were killed too. And that's why none of the Shah's former guards remained and I replaced all of them with good and honorable men. And I should have listened and realized you were telling me the truth when you did. But I have been the Captain of the Palace Guard long enough to learn that everyone lies to save their own skin. It just took an outstanding physician to prove to me that they were telling the truth. Even as unorthodox of a way they had to prove it. Just take what you want and then leave the spare key in the dirt surrounding the plants on either side of the tearsury doors. At this hour, no one will be there. You can take as much as you want and definitely as much as you feel you are owed for three years of hard labor and service. I have seen what kind of woman you are since you have come here. I have seen you gather herbs in his garden for your medicine and how you tend to the flocks when you must milk them. You are still a good woman despite your circumstances and you have not let your mistreatment turn you bitter and hateful like the others.” He answered before he gave her the spare key to the Shah's treasury.

“But then wouldn’t I have to be arrested for stealing?” She asked him wearily as she looked at the key he was offering her but made no move to take it from him.

“Nope. Anything you take, is payment you have earned for enduring in the harem for as long as you have. When a nobleman divorces his wife, they take back either equal portions of what they own, or they simply take back what they originally brought to the arrangement.” Haman insisted as he simply laid the key down next to the flowers that laid between them.

“You’re serious?” She asked him, almost afraid to believe him for such a thing was almost too good to be true.

“Very. I'm sorry for striking you. I shouldn't have done that.” He nodded before leaned over to kiss the cheek he had slapped earlier as a way of apologizing to her and to try to heal the hurt he had caused.

Then he got up and left her there in the palace garden completely stunned and shocked by that turn of events. But once she seemed to come to her senses, she got her bag and the key and went up to luxurious room to see him trying to roll the Shah in the carpet before she put her pack down and helped him roll the fat pig of a Shah into the carpet. 

“You should go, before I have to call my men in here.” He urged her. 

“Where? Where would I go? Who would take me in?” Sha’tari asked as she sat down on the floor next to him as they both caught their breath from rolling the Shah up in his own carpets. 

“I would.” Haman answered. 

"Where do you even live?" Sha'tari asked before he told her where to find his humble house in the city that was close enough to the palace for him to attend to his duties by just a few minutes of a ride by horse, since he only owned two of them.

“I was your prisoner in the dungeons less than an hour ago.” Sha’tari reminded him. 

“And you proved your innocence. You should not be punished or held accountable by a peoples who captured you and enslaved you. And you should not be held against your will. You’re right, the Shah is dead. You’re free. Take your freedom and live your life, the way you wanted to, before any of this ever happened.” Haman insisted. 

“But, what about you?” She asked. 

���The Shah has an heir. I will simply take my new orders from him. I’ll be fine. Go, take what is rightfully yours and go, wherever you feel is best for you to go to.” He insisted before she nodded and got up but nothing in the Shah’s rooms appealed to her. 

“Why were you never married, Captain Haman?” Sha’tari asked as she hesitated in leaving without taking anything of value with her, other than what was rightfully hers in her pack that she put over her back.

“I was always married to my work. Never found any woman who could be as honest without being stupid and gullible, could be as smart as she was beautiful, be as innocent as she was wise without needing to use intrigue to frame or hurt any others.” He answered. 

“Is that why you offered that you would take me in because I am- in your opinion- all those things?” Sha’tari asked him thoughtfully. 

“Yes. and much more I’m sure.” He answered as Sha’tari nodded in understanding.

“I’m sorry for striking you. I’m sorry for not believing you. Here, take this at least. So that if any other were to try to do this to you again, you’ll be able to fight them off at least.” He offered as he took his own swords and daggers that were on his belt and put them around her own waist.

“You should hurry, sunrise is in less than an hour.” He reminded her. 

“Captain Haman, can you please just answer me a question?” Sha’tari posed as she turned to leave. 

“Sure.” He agreed.

“Are you still an honest man?” Sha’tari asked. 

“I try my best to be, every day the gods grant me life.” He answered. 

“Are you a good man?” Sha’tari asked next. 

“I try my best to be, I feel I fail most of the time though. Especially tonight of all nights, in reguards to you especially.” He admitted regretfully.

“Would you ever strike a wife?” Sha’tari asked as she tilted her head to the side.

“No.” He immediately shook his head. 

“Keep a concubine?” She asked. 

“I could never afford one.” He barked a laugh.

"And her education?" Sha'tari asked.

"If she is already gifted with one, such a gift should be indulged and appreciated, never ignored or hindered." He answered.

"And children?" Sha'tari posed as she fought not to grin.

"I met this concubine once from Huratan, who proved to me that both girls and boys should recieve an education. She proved how valuable and important that can be. And I can't help but agree." He admitted.  

“Then thank you for my freedom and the chance to do with my life what I wish. For the first time in my life anyway.” She thanked him as she pulled the bag tighter to her body by tightening the strap and and left and went to the treasury and got only what most would never think to count or miss or was of small enough value it could spent in the market place easily enough. Before she hid the key where Haman had told her too and vanished into the darkness, letting the light of the moon guide her. She got what she wanted from the Shah’s palace.

But when she got to the stables to either collect a camel or a horse to go home, she didn’t want to take any of them and she knew that such a thing would actually be noticed if it was found missing.

And so she decided to just start walking before she recalled how Haman had told her to find his house and came to find Captain Haman’s humble house. It was simple, but dignified. And she couldn’t help but put his weapons where they were supposed to go and return the belt to where he obviously put it when not in use. And after going through his house. It was obvious he had never had a wife, or children, but did everything himself.

So she was happy to cover up in one of the many shawls she had taken and dressed herself to look like a commoner and when the sun came up and the shops started to open up, she began to use what she had taken from the palace’s treasury to buy what she felt his house needed to make it into a full fledged home. It took several trips, each trip, her story of who she was and how she came to be in Captain Haman's household developed. Until she met his parents and explained who she was as they readily and happily accepted her into thier family before they too helped her fully stock his kitchen and buy some goats for thier milk and put them with his horse that remained there and gifted her with more bride gifts that they had always saved for him for when he would eventually marry and were happy to give her thier blessing and helped her upgrade his simple bed into a proper larger marraige one. She worked from before sunrise until well after it until it was almost lunch time. When he came home, she had a decent breakfast that was both a large breakfast and also had elements of a proper lunch ready for him. 

“Long night?” She asked him as he came in and just stared in shock and awe as he came into his house that was shockingly well decorated and actually looked the most homey this humble house had ever looked before. 

“Yeah.” He slowly answered as he took the tray of food from her and sat down on the very comfortable couch to find fresh juice in the cup that was already there. 

“What happened?” She pretended to ask innocently. 

“The Shah died, he took his concubine with him to the grave. The other concubines have chosen to let her sacrifice be for all of them. They have been rehoused in the houses of their former families and have already left for their new destinations thanks to what was left in the treasury so that the new Shah might take ownership of the palace and the harem to fill it with new wives and concubines.” He answered as he watched her eat and drink nonchalantly before he couldn't help but begin to eat and had to admit was just as fine as the foods from the Shah's tables but featured much more vegetables and was much more balanced and he could taste her heritage in her cooking too, which he found quite delicious.

“Why did you take me up on my offer?” He finally asked her.

“Why did you offer it?” She asked in return. 

“Because I didn’t want to see you victimized, especially by anyone else, especially by myself.” He answered.

“Well that’s good. Because I never intend to be one ever again.” She insisted. 

“Well I would be the last person who would ever treat you as one.” He insisted. 

“I had a feeling.” She grinned knowingly. 

“By the way, as I was making this house our home, I ran into your parents, who were surprised to meet me. I told them our story that it just so happened that last night, at dusk, it turned out that you were gifted a wife by the Shah, his latest gift as a concubine from Haratan of all places. But since he felt he had too many in his harem as it was, he rewarded you with me as your wife. Especially when it was to reward you for all your years of loyal service. But of course, you stayed to do your duties and sent me to your house, with my bride gifts and my dowry. Which I spent to make your humble house into a modest but perfectly comfortable home. But perfectly dignified, respectable. And thanks to that information about no one from the palace ever being in a position of ever recognizing me, means I can stay right here. Where I’m actually wanted, liked and appreciated.” She explained and she barely had her plate and cup put down before he grabbed her face and kissed her deeply. 

“But if you ever slap me again, I’ll slit your throat.” She warned him when they broke for air. 

“But what about this?” He asked since he had somehow pinned her down to the couch and reached up to grab her ass before he gave it a nice, flirtatious and slightly salacious slap.

“Only if I can do the same.” She returned as she gave his own glorious and very muscular ass a similiar slap. 

“Deal.” He readily agreed before eagerly and practically rushed both of them up to the bedroom to fully take her as his impromptu bride and finally gave her the pleasure, dignity, reverance and respect she was always owed.

[dafyomilimerick]

Berachot 63

"When price dips," Bar Kappara began, "Jump right up, buy as much as you can, For prices surely will rise. In a place with no guys," He continued, "Then you be the man."