#bappo

[b-ppo]

Charge it to the game .

[wingerb17]

*Thirty minutes to show time alarm goes off*

Hahahaha there is *no way* I'm capable of streaming today!

See y'all tomorrow.

[sporadicthingcollection]

La faccia infarina (LA!Buggy the Clown x F!Reader)

Summary: In which Buggy swears at a child, draws on his face, and experiences a revelation. Pairing: LA!Buggy the Clown x F!Reader Rating: Semi-explicit. Word Count: ~1.4k. Warnings: Pregnancy mention, childbirth mention, a lot of swearing.

A/N: i'm ovulating so please enjoy an episode of what i like to call Reproducing With Men Who Should Not Be Trusted With Children.

Doing his makeup is much easier when there's no distractions to occupy him. Unfortunately, he's got a big one today and, for once, it isn't you trying to get into his pants.

Though that exact scenario is definitely what resulted in this new distraction. It was either that or the time after the party.

"Don't even think about it," Buggy says firmly.

Keeda grabs a drawer and tries to yank it open. A disembodied foot gently nudges him away. The boy stares at him in indignation, then blows a raspberry. He reaches again, whining when the foot still bars his way.

Buggy raises a brow at him. "Getting fresh, huh?" Another raspberry. "Floor privileges revoked."

He picks the boy up by the collar and plops him in his lap. He squeaks and squeals, trying to squirm away, but Buggy holds him tight.

"Y'know, I liked you better when you were a prop," he says. He swipes his lipstick along his cheeks. "You'd just lay there and make noises and shit yourself. None of this 'trying to kill yourself when I'm not looking' shtick."

Keeda resigns himself to his prison and is now pouting, making little huffs. He glances up with big, pleading eyes, lower lip quivering.

Buggy scoffs. "Don't try that pathos crap on me. I know what you look like when you're about to cry."

A long, low whine makes Buggy falter. Uh oh. He glances down.

Keeda lunges upwards, trying to grab the lipstick. Buggy pops his hand off just out of reach -- this is the expensive stuff. Can't have a baby eating it. Again.

"What's gotten into you today?" Keeda lunges again. Buggy pops his second hand off to cap the lipstick and stick it back in the drawer. "Sheesh, kid. Cool it."

"Bappo," Keeda says with a glare. Baby for pay attention to me, asshole, I'm right here.

A lightbulb goes off. He pulls a bag of pigment sticks from the drawer and dumps them onto the table. "You want your face done like Daddy's?" He spins the boy around to face the vanity. "Pick your war paint."

Keeda scans the selection and, with short chubby fingers, he selects a blue pigment stick. He then tries to shove it in his mouth, but Buggy grabs it before he can chomp it.

Buggy smiles as he regards the color. He was wearing this when he met you -- diamonds over his eyes as he tried to kill you. From hating his guts to fucking him stupid to bearing his child. How times change.

He takes the boy's cheeks between his thumb and forefinger. He can't believe he's still so damn small. A year in and he figured he'd be more... child-sized. Buggy's still afraid a strong breeze will shatter the kid like glass.

With gentle hands, he draws. Short strokes are best on soft, chubby skin with a lot of give. Keeda gazes at him all the while. He's got your eyes, warm and dark as charcoal.

Buggy licks his thumb and smooths out the edges. Keeda presses into his touch like a cat and gives him a smile, one that he can't help but return.

The idea of fatherhood terrified him. Horrified him. He thought about turning himself into the Marines right then and there. If his old captain couldn't do it, how could he be expected to do it? He's not half as competent as everyone seems to believe and you know he's a buffoon. Why would you want to have his kid?

Buggy finishes the diamonds and spins the boy to face the mirror. "Well?"

Keeda squints at himself. He touches his reflection. After a moment of contemplation, he speaks. "Fsshala."

He's been saying that a lot lately. You keep telling him that it's just nonsense babbling, but Buggy knows the truth.

"I agree," he says. "Let's make it flashy!"

He spins the boy back around, making him giggle. Truly the world's most remarkable sound.

He still doesn't have an answer for why you put yourself through nine months of pure terror. Was it your selfish desire for a family? Or did you see a truth hidden deep in his soul, so deep that he had no idea it existed until he held his son for the first time, still bright pink and howling?

Carefully, he traces two long lines up from the tips of the diamonds. He crosses them at the middle of his forehead, curls them into a heart, and adorns it with dots.

As is, Keeda looks more like you. Your dark hair, your dark eyes... and your nose, thank fucking god. He couldn't live with himself if his monstrosity was inheritable.

He was worried at first. How could he be sure that he's your son's father? He trusts you, but there was always that doubt gnawing at the back of his head until a few months in, when Keeda started getting expressive. In every giggle, in every glower, in every grin, there was Buggy the Clown.

Speaking of smiles, his mouth looks a little bare. A nice golden yellow would suit him.

Buggy picks up the pigment stick in one hand and smushes the boy's cheeks together with the other. "Pucker up, buttercup."

Keeda squirms a bit as he paints his mouth, swirling the corners up into cute little spirals. He licks his lips and sputters. "Pfeh!"

Buggy chuckles. "Weren't like that last week. You loved the stuff." He lifts the boy and spins him around to see his reflection. "Now you're lookin' more like your old man."

Keeda stares at himself. He tips his head one way, then the other. His eyes narrow and his brows furrow. He lets out a low, pensive whine.

Oh no. Does he not like it? Is he going to cry? Please don't cry. "Wait wait wait." He turns him around and lifts him to stand on his lap. "Don't get upset--"

A little spark flashes in the boy's eyes. The frown vanishes and he reaches up, tiny fingers grabbing for something.

Buggy's gotten enough hair ripped out to jerk away on impulse. "Something on my face?"

A tiny hand baps him on the nose. Buggy flinches. Fuckin' thing in the way again.

He angles his head, waiting for Keeda to tap what he was really aiming for. And again, he gets bapped right on the nose.

...no. There's no way.

Another bap, this time with an impatient glower. "Isso," Keeda says firmly. Baby talk for this.

Buggy's heart is in his throat as he picks up the red pigment stick. With shaky hands, he outlines the boy's nose -- a cute little button -- and draws a circle.

He swallows thickly. He clenches his jaw. He turns him around.

Keeda's eyes widen, then scrunch into crescents as he lets out a delighted squeal. "Papa!" he says, grinning up at Buggy. He flops backwards back into his lap, giggling and wiggling. "Papa!"

He's not sure how long he sits there at the vanity, listening to his baby chatter happily, but it must be awhile because you eventually come calling.

"Oh, there you guys are,” you say. "You chuckleheads having fun without me?"

"Amama!" Keeda stands in Buggy's lap and waves at you. He points at the mirror. "Issoooooo."

You appear at Buggy's shoulder, grinning brilliantly. "Aw, look at you," you croon. "Did Daddy do your makeup? Or did you get into his shit when he wasn't looking?"

Buggy's voice comes out in a tight croak. "I did it."

"Well, damn, it looks great! You never do my makeup that well--" Your gaze flickers to him in the mirror, and your smile vanishes. "...Are you crying?"

He sniffles. Loudly. "No."

You give him one of your do-you-need-a-psych-eval looks. "Bugs, your mascara's running."

Something hot and wet rolls down to his chin. "No, it's not."

You look at his reflection in the mirror, then back to him. "Either smile or cry. Doing both is freaking me out."

He wraps his arms around Keeda, pulling him close and squeezing him tight. "Fuckin' love you so much, you little shit," he murmurs into his hair.

Keeda squeals and giggles.

---

To the "Curious Courtship" Masterpost | To the Mastahpost | Tip Jar

[undrsk0re]

Dont even know hlf the people ive bappoed

[pinkydee10]

Angel: You call me cheater? Bappo no hacko.

Alastor: When Bappo get sleepy, Bappo just nappo.

Angel: When Bappo says something racist on live tv, Bappo no flacko.

Alastor: Bappo got good PR team, Bappo no flacko.

Pent: When Bappo goes out on a windy day, Bappo’s lips no chappo.

Husk: Once you go Bappo, you never go backo.

Angel: When Bappo goes to a Mexican restaurant, Bappo get taco.

Husk: When Bappo has to shit, Bappo do crappo.

Angel: Wow, some top tier shit right here.

Husk: I have-I have to shit so fucking bad!

Pent: When Bappo gotta run, Bappo take a lappo.

Angel: Pff I hate you so much!

Alastor: Bappo eat snacko.

Angel: Yeah I think we’re overdoing it.

Pent: When Bappo needs to know where he’s going, Bappo look at a mappo.

Angel: I’m fucking done boys! I stopped recording after the taco one!

Husk: Bappo protect and Bappo attacko!

Angel: Ok maybe we’re not done! Bappo allergic to lacto.

Husk: Ya know why Bappo likes bottled water?

Alastor: Pff why?

Husk: Cause Bappo no drink from tappo.

Angel: This is so over done already…

Pent: Bappo owns a drug cartel. Bappo el chappo.

Angel: Bappo got in trouble with the government because Bappo didn’t pay his taxxo.

Alastor: When Bappo live in the 50s, Bappo ain’t blacko!

Pent: Oh geez…

Angel: We’ve linked it to racism, now we’ve crossed a line!

Alastor: Bappo whip backo.

Husk: Bappo’s a pimp and he…he always slappo!

Pent: Husk, you’re so fucking drunk.

Alastor: Hey guys I got one!

Husk: Fuck you!

Alastor: Bappo’s a pimp!

Husk: Fuck you!

Alastor: And he slappo!

Husk: Fuck you!

Angel: My favorite show was the suite life of Zacko and Cody.

Pent: My favorite band is Nickel Backo.

Angel: PFF You’re a cunt!

[juneibyou]

What about this one. Bappo Bumpus wiblo Rumbus

i don't think anyone is saying this

[squibll]

Bappo Hirthdey

very belated bt thank u 👴 (<--- real image of me

[lachiennearoo]

Fighting is very exhausting, they gotta take a lil nappo bappo y'know

(in all seriousness tho, I don't see them as enemies. Not even in the comics, even tho Wolverine is absolutely CRUEL with Deadpool 99% of the time. (Like holy shit poor little Wadey-boo)

They still do respect each other. I acknowledge that. Obviously if they didn't at least tolerate each other's existence they would never even team up in the first place.

They just can't stand to be together for too long without trying to kill each other (mostly Logan, that man has no temper and no patience for that shit, and does not understand the meaning of "use words not fists" lmao)

Maybe I'm just so autistic that I don't get that everyone is just joking but...

It kinda scares me how many people genuinely believe Deadpool and Wolverine had sex in Deadpool 3, and didn't realize it was a joke made to spoof sex scenes that was done because in that moment they absolutely HATED each other and only wanted to murder each other.

Like... Where did the media literacy go? Did it get snatched by the TVA with Wade's wig or something??

[fightmeinirl]

The church next to my house has its solar panels arranged in a crucifix pattern you have got to hand it to bappos they love their bits and they love their bobs.

[kingofthecastle]

We (me, mostly) were a duo and we did great

[LINK TO THE STREAM IN REBLOGS]

[reydelcastill0]

BEST BABE

Remembered that time when I clutched a couple rounds as Imposter (WHEN I HAD A FOUR IMPOSTER ROLE STREAK? REALLY STRESSFUL).

This is what they saw when I killed them :)

[djevelbl]

He's showing me the bappo bit — tHEY WENT ON FOR 2 HOURS WITH THIS SHIT????

I need to know why my brother just showed me different random and SO out of pocket mario pixel animations compiled together into a video, all lipsynced to fucking Chinga Tu Madre by Molotov — this happened IMMEDIATELY AFTER I told him about my descent into madness as I watched my first ever ashswag video btw

[strangedeerconnoisseur]

Shout out to Bappo and Weinter for bein’ dope asf Smii7y references were flying off the shelves.

[memejail]

have a bappo

[hooblesdoodles]

Day 207 "Bappo" I envision him just constantly screeching. In areas of high bappo concentration you can hear their mournful "Squeeeonk" from miles away. #drawing #doodle #sketch #pencil #pencildrawing #pencilsketch #dailydrawing #drmoreau #cccombo #mashup #animals #animalcombination #madscience #bat #hippo #bappo #nightscreech #squeeonk #squonk #aerialrodents #swarms (at Budapest) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bve88jfFYJH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1bcvosdah3oev