#banger post tho love wins

[qulizalfos]

adrianne lenker. guys

[jaimeski]

Long post about some detail I love in the new sims 4 pack promo video

they came out strong with this ngl like you all know this is how we greet each other but less back arching if it’s a casual conversation

THE NAKA THEY HAVE THE NAKA it’s a folklore from northeastern thai/laos basically they are water dragon. the right one looks like chinese architecture tho

the boat yesssssss love how they did the glass panels i know the person who did this loves to go to floating market i’m going to assume this is meant to represent central thailand/ayutthaya

THE SPIRIT HOUSE right on the fucking nose you can find one of these everywhere and i mean it it’s for spiritual protection this one is actually hindu thing not buddhist it would be more accurate if they did have a red fanta bottle decoration (btw person in the right frame looks like lisa coincidence? i think not)

average thai neighbor experience no need to explain

aside from whatever that taco-looking thing is, they have pad thai, tom yum kung (noodles?) and some variation of spring rolls

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE KOM TUNG it’s a paper lantern from the northern part of thailand more specifically the lanna region this is a win for i’m so biased rn bc it reminds me of my grandparents they are northerners

hubiuhsdcbuhsdbcuhw NOT THE SQUATTING TOILET tho it’s not entirely accurate bc it’s more like an europe one we don’t have this model we’d have a bucket of water to flush instead

the other architectures are meh for me but this one hits hard do you see the x thing on the roof? that’s the prominent feature of lanna/northern thai culture called kalae means a cross you won’t find this in any other part of the country

sino-portuguese architecture my beloved i wish they’d had more colorful sino-portuguese building but i’m not complaining much bc they did give us a lot of the tiles in that style

final thoughts: they did a wonderful job portraying thai culture as multicultural most of the things they based on are accurate and authentic banger expansion pack i might have to buy it unfortunately

[misdre]

now that nobody cares anymore

quick. post esc song&artist opinions

albania (titan): this was originally in albanian and it was.. alright? then they chose to send an english version to malmö. you lost me there

armenia (jako): i liked the colourful background in the live performance. nice roosters. this is just all cute and bubbly and so is the vocalist. that's about it

australia (one milkali (one blood)): poor australia, i really like the song. could have leaned in a little more to the whole aboriginal thing because that's obviously what makes this stand out as absolutely unique. they had one of the most interesting vocalists of the year but the live just didn't do it, not for me and apparently not really for anyone. then again i think it's kinda nice australia has achieved a status where they can comfortably NQ because it's no longer like Hey let's vote australia just because they're on eurovision and it's haha crazy. i think the song is better than some of the earlier ones they've qualified with though. bleh

austria (we will rave): oh you silly austria. the studio version of this was my early favourite together with rim tim tagi dim but the music video scares me and uuuhh the live? yeah uumm about that. kinda surprised it even qualified tbh. well! the song's still a banger. straight from the swedish banger factory but let's not talk about that. there will never be a day when 90s eurodance stops being the shit

azerbaijan (özünlə apar): erm. kudos for the traditional singing. i've heard this exactly once from start to finish (in SF1) so idk. let's put it like this: not THE most boring ballad this year

belgium (before the party is over): i like when he sings BEFORE THE PARTY IS OVER

croatia (rim tim tagi dim): meow cat please meow back. this is the most My Kind Of song this year, the kind i'd love and listen to outside esc too, favourite from first listen. people are being annoying about him not winning but whatever, coming second is very sexy you know. and you know what else is sexy

cyprus (liar): ORIGINALLY……this went in the same basket of "some girlboss with a sexy song idk" as malta and georgia and whatever who else… but then it kind of. got stuck in my head. and i kinda ironically started liking it. and then not so ironically. it kinda slaps? i have no excuse

czechia (pedestal): the song is good with a nostalgic kind of comfy rock sound. unfortunately it wasn't very strong live so into the NQ basket you go. i fucking love aiko's look tho i'm kinda homogay for her

denmark (sand): well…. this song's not BAD… but also just not very interesting. i got nothing. except sand in my

estonia ((nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi): that title means "we don't (really) know about (these) drugs". i always have a soft spot for estonians and this year they TOO just brought all party and fun (and finnish-made folk instruments!). the live wasn't very good imo and i think juries agreed but eh IT WAS FUN! EVERYONE HAD FUN. A PERFECT CHAOTIC MATCH TO WINDOWS95MAN

finland (no rules): SEE ME SLAYY. this was such a surprise winner in UMK, i was shook for a moment back then but ever since it's felt sooo right. so right. finland bringing in just the right kind of chaos every year and i'm very proud of it. the song genuinely grew on me over this spring, originally it felt like a jokey addition to all the "proper" UMK songs… ah how the turn tables. it's hilarious too that windows95man isn't even a musician and henri just kind of half-accidentally became his singer because they needed some vocalist for the song who can hit the notes. now they're probably hitched together as besties forever. did you know the performance is a reference to finnish mythology where the world is born from an egg

france (mon amour): just two words. JE T'AAAAAAAAA A AAAAAAAA A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIME okay actually a third word also. king

georgia (firefighter): um. see malta below

greece (zári): i like marina but got nothing on this song

iceland (scared of heights): i'm sorry hera……… you're like an aunt who's just doing some jammin' in the karaoke on a cruise from turku to stockholm. mildly embarrassing but you just can't hate her

ireland (doomsday blue): CROWN THE WITCH CROWN THE WITCH CROWN THE WITCH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGGGHGH

italy (la noia): don't have much to say other than that i like the song, angelina is great, the performance was a bit boring. would have wanted stuff with her hair like the music video. but it was alright

latvia (hollow): daddy dons with one of my favourite voices this year. his blue armour outfit was a bit weird and unintentionally comical but it's okay. i really love this song and that's why they call me The bitch who likes the ballads

lithuania (luktelk): banger, love it, immediately takes me to the club. bass on the studio version bops. silvester is beautiful, loved his chunky outfit with a comically dramatic silhouette. poor guy was traumatised by having to perform after a Certain individual in the final, would give him a massive chunky hug. life's not fair but luktelk luktelk

luxembourg (fighter): imagine coming back to eurovision after decades and this is your performance. i think the song is alright, would have preferred if it were all in french. the live is an absolute nothingburger. i don't even remember what the staging looks like

malta (loop): UM sorry. i don't even remember this GJKNDSGJBSDG

moldova (in the middle): i.. kind of like this song? like the dadadadaddaa part? but not very much. it's surprisingly catchy for being so forgettable. and non-qualifying

netherlands (europapa): woww wasn't the final such a great show and a good time! i'm so glad he came fifth! a televote favourite too! yay! :)

….in other words that "it's now or never" got a bit too real. i wish to hug joost's chunky blue suit and cry a little. hoping he'll perform soon in finland since he seems to be making a song with käärijä and all. btw nice of bambie thug to bring dustin the turkey back to life as a dutch EU bird

norway (ulveham): i'm so shocked this came dead last, i thought it'd find its audience for sure. earlier in spring people hyped this to the point of some complaining it's overrated, god that aged like an avocado. the vocalist is adorable and sings (shouts??) like a mofo, there's a witchy vibe with a metal band, the lyrics read like a fairytale, it's in norwegian (their FIRST song in norwegian in idk how many years, over 10). ROBBED

poland (the tower): a cute little song, i like it! the performance aesthetic was on point but i started jokingly associating the song with my 4kingdoms rei (it started from the tiger's eye line.) and then the joke got not-so-jokey and so umm yes. and like our finnish commentator said: how nice of luna lovegood to try being a musician

portugal (grito): portugal just doing their portugal things like every portugal year. iolanda is cute.

san marino (11:11): this is the only NQ song that was robbed IMO, not only a genuinely nice little rock bop but the staging was one of the most fun ALL this year. you got dancers in pink skeleton onesies on stage and you don't even make her qualify? die

serbia (ramonda): imma fall asleep on that rock

slovenia (veronika): pre-show i somehow thought this would be a bigger deal than it turned out to be. then it just kind of. well. i actually like the song and thought raiven looked fucking sick on stage crawling around with that murderous look, she's welcome to kill me any time in the middle of a dark forest at night (bambie thug will prob be there also. ulveham playing in the distance. luna is taking notes)

spain (zorra): what absolute fucking icons, i stan this 56yo queen getting on stage to sing about whores being awesome. the song is a certified bop and they got men in corsets serving a plateful of ass, i don't even need anything else from eurovision

sweden (unforgettable): i have a masochistic relationship with melodifestivalen where i watch it every year while knowing full well i'll be disappointed. i was, again, disappointed. but after seeing what a disaster this year turned out to be, well first of all, good on sweden for not sending a swedish artist to represent this mess and having a couple of norwegian bois on instead, secondly, by the time the final came around i no longer had any hate in my heart for this because who cares. marcus&martinus are our little denim brothers and i wish them all the best

switzerland (the code): nemo is adorable, amazing, lovely, phenomenal, a legend, 100% deserving the victory, spinning like a beyblade while singing opera what more do you want. like WHO the fuck sings like that while doing some kinda acrobatics on stage in a short skirt. nemo does that's who

UK (dizzy): another embarrassing year for UK, wasn't it. they sent an actual superstar and he just kind of sang like shit and nobody cared. i don't like the song it genuinely annoys me, the performance was weird kind of gay, i dunno. sorry olly it didn't click

ukraine (teresa & maria): being ukrainian also i'm not much of an objective opinioner on this one. definitely preferred the live version over studio, it's breathtaking. jerry heil is sooo beautiful and what a voice. queens

funny how one day you listen to some new little songs without even knowing what country's entry it is and by the middle of may they're all my beloved friends.

[my-apollo-gies]

Im gonna post my comment i left on @writing-hat’s new chapter of bbnb

GO READ THAT BEFORE READING THE REST OF THE POST SO YOU AVOID SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 16

this chapter was absolutely insane, amazing work hat!

OMG HAT THIS WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING JOLY SHIT i wish i could give you more kudos than just the one so, MILLIONS OF KUDOS TO YOU HAT!!! this took me around 45 minutes to an hour to read, thats when you know its a banger of a chapter!!! i may have been liveblogging my reaction to oli anyways here are my highlights:

THE BEGINNING WITH WU!? ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! insane over him remembering quite a bit of detail actually, sad that it means he died + the inclusion of HOW he died. nadakhan the bitchass motherfucker

KAI! holy shit hes so complex, hes so complex. love how you portrayed him this chapter. there were some parts i wanted to punch him and others where i wanted to scoop him into a gaint hug, poor dude. him and jay are both suffering omg

THE DETAIL OF THE OTHERS KNOWING THEYRE MISSING SOMETHING BUT NOT KNOWING WHAT?! FUCKING AMAZING. i love how your making them get affected by jays wish and how it worked

THE FUCKING CINNAMON CAKE?! love your writing of it, hate how jay is still so badly affected by nadakhan, nadakhan the bitchass motherfucker x2

ZANE! i loved him this entire chapter, he is so helpful to jay without even knowing what happened. hes so friend shaped (stole that phrase off oli, sorry oli)

I LOVE THE STORY WITH THE FORK AND THE MICROWAVE I NEED MORE SILLY JAY MOMENTS ISTG

AVA! AVA! AVA! WE ALL LOVE AVA SO MUCH (i should draw her 👀)

JAYS VISIT TO SOTO?!! i actually think soto is so funny, underrated character frfr. loved the bonding over hating nadakhan, loved the slight fear (?) when jay said he killed nadakhan with his powers

GIVE JAY MORE THERAPY

PLEASE

THE ENDING??!! JAY AND NYA ARGUING?! so sad to see them arguing, great plot point tho. you win some you lose some.

THE LIGHTNING STORM!! WU RECOGNISED THAT IT WAS JAYS POWERS?? THE SHIP GOING DOWN

stop leaving us on cliffhangers, hat

please

please

(if i keep going im gonna sound like sabrina carpenter istg)

OVERALL: FUCKING AMAZING CHAPTER, 100% WORTH THE WAIT!!! im definitely doing some more art 👀👀👀, and you WILL be hearing from me on tumblr!!!! im so mad that i fell asleep, i shit you not, ten minutes before this came out (it was like 1am in my timezone) i was going to stay up to read but im glad i didnt because i am (slightly) more coherent now than i wouldve been at 1:30 am. you’re gonna make me go insane hat, im obsessed with this fic so much!!!! (your insane and so am i)

expect more art coming your way, dude!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[anosci]

selected albums ive listened to in 2024

this year I'm just posting the highlights so itll be shorter

[1] [2]

January

1/ VHS Head - Phasia (2023) first new album of '24 for me! "Strange Food" that zap pew beat is a delight! title track is p good, floaty. "Phocus" this is very vaguely leaning into…funk? i really like it. possible highlight? wondering why it shares the title of a different album.

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4/ VA - FM Synth 2 (2017) yeah i love fm "Mach 5 Fusion Force X" is a god damn tour de force. insane! "Work Without Rules" second fav of mine for its smoov smoov swingy wobs

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7/ Skee Mask - C (2024) first 2024 album in the list! dusty, crispy, chillout. analogue. deep bass when needed, never too thick of a presence. delightful chillout music. at worst, its a bit varied, as if it were an anthology. probably because it is. highlight: "Bassline Dub"

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12/ (all OCRemix posts from 2017) all over the place ofc some insano selections: "Multi-track Drifting" N R G!!! "Big Room Gobi" funny but in a goes hard way also: Star Salzman's Katamari mix!!! i keep coming back to that in particular

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15/ VA - Adventure Time, Vol. 1-5 (2019) they have extended versions of some sc cuts!! "Party With the Chief" esp(!) the biggest thing I noticed overall: this soundtrack is so…wack. meandering. ADHD in control of a quirky ensemble. continually amazed that this's from a hit show

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16/ Diverse System - JAPAN 2 (2023) a mostly rly good grab bag of bangers with a japan flavor! i adore the koto mixed in with tight electric beats. big big standouts with "灯火" !!! and the much more electric "Amatsu"

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17/ Patricia Taxxon - Bicycle (2024) laid back (mostly) textures n vibes. instant fav in "Frat Claws" and "I Do" specifically! i really like the FEEL within the sounds. i keep coming back to "Chipshop" and "Boys". visceral.

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23/ Aleksi Perälä - Starlight 1 (2018) surprisingly solid, albeit a bit all over the place much love for the smooth sounds of "UK74R1823040" much love for the stepfiltered "UK74R1823090" not as much a fan of the techno flavors this time but still!

it's hard to recommend this artist in general but ive been listening to a lot of AP music. just give those two highlights a try and see what you think.

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February

25/ BT - The Secret Language of Trees (2023) THE GOOD STUFF Producer's Cuts especially!!! "k-means clustering"……. the clicks in "Time Moves So Fast"…. if you ever wished ppl made more music from 2007, here it is. a return to the binary universe.

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40/ Tom Bragl - Regainable (2024) a few crunchy niceities, but just a few imo. "Klamra" f.ex. feels very 2007, which IS a delight. for anyone who wishes they made more music from 2007. here it is. funny it's marketed as "80s esque" lol. i hear it tho.

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43/ µ-ziq - 1977 (2023) mike has a very distinct style that stands out from a lot of his peers imo. i wasnt sure about this but the reverbed minimalist drum machine in tracks like "4am" and "Belt & Carpet" win me over. I think those two and the weirdly hazy house of "Houzz 13" are my favs. "4am" especially, with those ethereal (newage?) chopped vocals

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44/ Autechre - 2005-4-15 Glasgow (live set) apparently there are some old soundboard recordings laying around!!! this is super good. quaristice stuff. i love love love the multiple variations of chence9! the fast version of IO is rly good too. ez fav but still.

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March

47/ STAFFcirc vol. 9: MIDI MODULE FANATIX (2024) oh hell yes, midi AND rompler!!! "Thunder and Strawberry Wine" is otherworldly. i get how it was made but also. How? ooooghhh… "30 Domcaster St" delightful ooooghhh… "Cascade rev.2023" authentic zest "Yakumotatsu" god i love this trend of pushing msgs midi to the max "tunnel7_r35b" listen i love chimeratio and he brought his slapping

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57/ Fields Of Mist - Biospore Farmers (2024) try not to compare to boc challenge: impossible. it's lush damnit. but the perc is way way more analogue drummachine. its wall to wall good. that opening track would have blown my mind in 2007. they dont make it like that anymore, except i guess they do!

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60/ pilotredsun - Achievement (2016) an album misplaced in time. pristine early 00s bedroom musician vibes.

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[necromycologist]

rating 'fantasies' songs by their tlt vibes

recently i got really into this album and ive been listening to it nonstop and i got the urge to make this post so behold.

Help I'm Alive

we open with a BANGER. the whole heart motif beauty of existence thing is very tlt in general but "if we're still alive my regrets are few/if my life is mine what shouldnt i do" feels like it could be ntn cam+pal perhaps. 6/10 for general vibes not really going anywhere specific tho.

Sick Muse

i could see this as a convo between gideon and harrow. "pull your little arrows out an let me live my life" she WOULD say that about love... ily harrowhark necro'mancer nonagesimus lyctorway keep sticking your middle finger up at preps. but the main event is "all the blondes are fantasies/we looked at them eleven ways/you said look at me then looked away" like i dont even need to explain this one. YOU SAID LOOK AT ME THEN LOOKED AWAY the orpheus and eurydice the betrayal the hurt why wont you eat me please please consume me why are you saving me sorry one sec. ill shut up about greek myths now. 7.5/10 that one lyric saved it for me

Satellite Mind

this song is so strange and offputting it has to be about our favourite little bone nun <3 its givin htn harrow "i can feel you most when im alone" um the body the body the body "flashback of a feeling/sixth sense of a calling" its the love! that they couldnt take away!! 6/10 because i think that the dreamy freaky what the fuck is happening are suuuuper htn however the actual lyrics arent super close

Gold Guns Girls

i want this song to be about ianthe tridentarius soooooo bad... i want it to be about our favourite perpetually thirdweeling failgirl so much... like ive never wanted anything else ever oh my GOD... "i remember when you were gambling to win/everybody else said better luck next time" underestimated at canaan house anyone? anyone at all? no takers?? no??? 3/10 because despite my deepest wishes this is just a good song thats not about gay catholic homestuck 😔

Gimme Sympathy

slightly ironic gtn griddlehawk at its finest. "get hot/get too close to the flames" oops! now ur her cavalier "wild open space" gideon-gettin-shocked-by-days-on-earth-emotional.png "talk like an open book" not with that vow of silence. idiot. "sign me up!" shes not signed up haha "ill remember someday all the chances we took" not after the lobotomy u wont lol "we're so close to something better left unknown" cough cough LYCTORHOOD. 9/10 manifesting kiriona giving harrow sympathy after all of this is gone in alecto

Collect Call

hiii ntn fans i prommy i didn’t forget abt u! this one goes out to the psychosexual mess of role playing and bad meals enjoyers <3 "i know it's a lie i want it to be true/the rest of the rot is riding on you" oh boy like i said psychosexual mess... pyrra dve my beloved "wishing you could KEEP! ME! CLOSER! IM A LAZY! DANCER! WHEN YOU MOVE! I! MOVE WITH YOUOOOOOOOOO" oh lord nona placing her hand on cam's shoulder like palamedes would. oh lord being so close in one body and yet a second apart. 8/10 should be higher but i started Having Feelings about nona's death again and couldnt finish listening to the song

Front Row

this is a john song if I’ve ever heard one. “burnt out stars they shine so bright… all of us” is def. giving lyctor vibes. (just children playing with reflections thinking they were stars grauauauagh etc etc) plus plus “he’s not perfect/he’s a victim/of his occupation/social insulation/secret intervention” like fuck dude he really is!!! pilot that president around ordinary dude fuck the world up with your good intentions!!! 10/10 this song is the brainrot undying the kindly prince of my lyctor brainrot

Blindness

besties ngl i am INCREDIBLY torn on this one,,, on one hand “what it is and where it stops nobody knows/you gave me a life i never chose/i wanna leave but the world wont let me go” goes crazy hard. like harrowhark ‘cursed to keep living’ nonagesimus? hello is that u? on the other hand the whole opening sequence of this is very blood of eden coded… 5/10 this song has a very Character Energy about it but i think i must accept that that character is probably not a tlt one

Stadium Love

ohohohoo! here she comes!! this song IS about canaan house like the whole thing n nothing will convince me otherwise. "wanna make a deal/angel versus eel" hm im getting gideighth betrayal vibes from this "rabbit versus dove" WHAT DID I SAY colum get back here your government assigned fursona is in the song "owl versus dove" uuuuuh this can be about the sixth being cool basically whenever because sixth -> wisdom -> athena -> owl. idc that they live on mercury fuck off. the blorbos may be smart but i dont have to be. btw camilla hect if you read this im free on thursday night and would like to hang out plz respond and then hang out with me on thursday night when im free. u can bring your necromancer too if yw. "every living thing pushed into the ring" duel time every (necro)man(cer) for himself "guess you thought you could just watch" go on enforce that cohort order judith! it wont backfire at all haha! "NO. ONES. GETTING. OUT" well. uh. none of them are. plus cant you just see the Character Portrait Flashes AMV Moments to the wooowooos?? cant you??? "without STADIUM LOVE" the last time they say this w the beat drop it should be gidedeath cytherea duel epic timez and then the echoing "love love" at the end is harrow waking up and mouthing The Three Syllables TM. 11/10 somebody lend me their animation skills please i would be sooo epic and responsible with them i have a Vison...

in conclusion thx for listening to my deranged ramblings (if anyone actually does.) please go listen to fantasies its so so good... message me and we can brainrot thru it together xoxo

[creabirds]

the lovely @albonoooo tagged me to share my 10 favorite reads of 2023. oh boy, here we go.

so far i've read 61 books this year (which is below my goal grrr but whatever. when life hits you or something) so it's a tough decision. these are in no particular order:

once there were wolves - charlotte mcconaghy | a really haunting novel set in the scottish highlands revolving around a woman who is working on a project to rewild wolves to the area. the writing is brain-meltingly beautiful. please look up the content warnings tho!

middlegame - seanan mcguire | i do not know how to explain this one except it is absolutely brilliant??? about a boy and a girl with very special talents in language and maths, respectively (and they're not in love!). and like, alchemy and human experimentation. it's very weird but alas, i love weird books

girl, woman, other - bernardine evaristo | a beautifully interwoven story about the lives of twelve black British women (& other) that explores family and love in such a compelling way!!! it certainly didn't win the booker prize without reason

bunny - mona awad | if you like weird things this is the book for you. also if you enjoy unreliable narration, (toxic) female friendships and dark academia. it's a girl's right to be weird and slightly cult-ish

yellowface - r.f. kuang | i cannot make this list without mentioning r.f. kuang bc she is the loml. this book is not my favorite by her but it was certainly a banger, as always. if you're interested in topics of post-colonialism and systemic racism you should never miss out on her books

the deep - solomon rivers | magical alternate history about a mysterious mermaid population in a vaguely post-apocalyptic world. lovely portrayal of culture, (shared) memory and generational trauma

she who became the sun - shelley parker-chan | just another asian-inspired fantasy to add to my list of favorites because i just love them so much. this one was so fun and has queer and nb rep!!!

none of this is serious - catherine prasifka | i didn't really ENJOY reading this bc it kept calling me tf out the whole time. if you, like me, find yourself living in existential dread, the anxiety of a small rabbit being chased by lions, and a crippling social media addiction, this will be a fun one to get through

the raven cycle - maggie stiefvater | i've just finished my THIRD reread of this series in 5 or so odd years. yes it is that good. if you haven't read it GO NOW. it's ya but i promise it's not very ya-ish. paranormal fantasy / magical realism / legends and the most likable cast of characters you will ever see (did you say: where can i find ya books with female mcs that have a personality? the answer is HERE)

her body and other parties - carmen maria machado | i've never really read a short story collection before so this was an interesting experience. i loved some of them more than others but they're def worth a read, some even mind-boggling

sorry for rambling but if you truly expect an english major to not go on a rant about books you've been sorely mistaken

if you ever need book recs please feel free to slide into my inbox/dms i am a walking library

tagging @wanderingblindly @grubbyraccoonhands @drivestraight @maxcuntstappen and whoever wants to do it im not sure who of you reads books besides slurping down fanfic like its melted gummybears so uh.

[madstronaut]

my IRL moots and I are currently bingewatching olympic coverage so if I have been absent it’s because I have temporarily replaced fanfic as my comfort/stress reliever with footage of simone biles and sunisa lee and leo marchand and katie ledecky and tom daley absolutely fucking SLAYING (and knitting) over in the city of lights

but anyway WHO DOESn’T LOVE A GOOD COMEBACK STORY AND TEH FUCKING STANDING OVATION (so wat if it was in my PJs and a facemask I had a long week okay) I GAVE WHEN I SAW WRENNY RETURNED WITH A FUCKING BANGER OF A CHAPTER TO CONTINUE SKIN DEEP THAT WAS OLYMPIC-WORTHY IF I SAY SO 🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇 (surgeon general warning: this is purely fucking subjective)

I was gonna use an olympic cheering gif but I saw this bajirao mastani gif and deemed it even better and also I saw a post saying gifmakers are notified whenever their gif is tagged in a post and I want to apologize in advance dear artist for using it in my fanfic rant lol

anyway diving right into it (if yall knew the absolutely herculean effort I am making not to sprinkle this whole fucking thing with olympic puns…) does anyone else get sympathy phantom pains when they read about a character you’re emotionally invested in get hurt? cos I definitely grabbed and patted my own tit in sympathy when I read about reader’s piercing snagging on a sweater

also I FUCKIN LOVE THE MATCHING PIERCINGS!!!! <33333 something so special about sharing something secret and intimate between just you and your beloved <3 (which makes johnny’s matchy eyebrow piercing reveal later all the more interestin 👀)

if cleanliness were a love language, it would likely be Simon’s. 

this tracks for how I HC simon honestly, where all my fellow traumatized PTSD-coping control freaks at!!!! just me???!!?!!

Not that he had told you he loved you—nor had you told him. You had promised yourself that you would wait until he said it first (the only sure-fire way to avoid coming across as overeager and scaring him off). Still, there were a thousand ways in a day that Simon made you feel as if he loved you: the way he would go out to start your car in the wintery mornings when your remote start stopped working; the way he always offered you the first bite of his food if you weren’t sharing a meal; the way he’d crack open your drinks before handing them to you. Was it wrong of you to try to read between the lines? 

how does that saying go, “actions speak louder than words”? 👀👀👀 also couldn’t help but be reminded of me and my fellow POC IRLs sharing about how our parentals/families never said ILY growing up but later learned to understand they showed not told (my current philosophy tho is y not both? y not both indeed)

His thumbs stroke beneath your breasts along the sternum tattoo he gave you—a favorite part of you for him to touch-

🥰🥰🥰

“I want you,” he mutters. “Say yes.”  “Yes, God, yes.”

 👏sexy consenting, we luv to see it 👏

Something about him so unashamedly enjoying himself makes it easier for you to enjoy yourself too.

yes, we love a win-win situation 💛💛💛

also i loved all the goofy little moments during their sexytime with the knocking over his pencils, “don’t insult me” (I would be gigglin my ass off at this), their banter <3, LAUGHING WHILE COMING!!! cannot even describe the feeling but yes if you’ve done the same it is *quite* the feeling - GOOFY SEX SUPREMACY BLOG OVER HERE, ANTIS CAN GO FUCK CLOWNS TYVM (it’s me, I’m the clown, wooin you in this 10k word essay I will-)

as always simon seems to be so adept and confident at reading reader but hOOOW CURIOUS THAT HE DOUBTS HIMSELF/CUTS HIMSELF OFF FROM SPECULATING WHEN IT COMES TO JOHNNY? hMMMMMMM

and UGH i so feel the reader in wanting to befriend your beloved’s beloveds and the stress in that struggle -currently experiencing a different iteration of this with my IRL moots in trying to balance putting aside your pride to attempt to get along with someone you just don’t jive with but who is beloved by your beloved (uhh does this make me johnny in this scenario but wthout the sexual tension/ghoapiness of it all UGH) anyway READER I FEEL YA

“When Soap and I are in a room together with women, I’m like a ghost. 🥺🥺🥺 “Were you jealous?”  He makes an ambiguous sound. 

i notice direct, straightforward simon consistently struggles to be so when it comes to our soapy boi  👀👀 *putting my tin foil hat back on* though another part of me wonders if simon has noticed how frosty reader and johnny are and is secretly not too bothered by it by the aforementioned love triangle/soap “stealing the spotlight” probs

I am dying to know what went down in the fight between simon & johnny at the flooded shop!!! wrenny SPILL TEH TEA WOMAN (if you please per your time/desire)

after re-reading this multiple times I pulled up my conspiracy theories from pt 1 and HOLY FUCK THE FEELING OF CHECKING OFF A FEW TO BE CONFIRMED IS PROBABLY HOW THOSE PPL WHO  RAIDED AREA 51 VIA THAT PUBLIC FB EVENT INVITE FELT WHEN THEY GOT TO NARUTO-RUN ON LIVE TV

I did the phoenix ace attorney finger point (i know nothing bout this show cept thru this meme) while yelling I FUCKING KNEW THEY FUCKED at the top of my lungs at my laptop (sorry to my IRL neighbors)

“The day after we—y’know. Fucked. I told him it was a one time thing. Maybe it’s in my head,” says Simon, frowning. “Maybe I’m crazy. But sometimes he looks at me or says something to me and it makes me think it’s not over. Not for him.” “Is it really over,” you ask, “for you?” Simon looks at you, quiet. He says: “I want you.” And you are so relieved by the obvious honesty in his answer that it never crosses your mind to think that’s not what you asked. 

*currently ripping off my tin foil hat, shredding it in my jaws and screaming IRL at all the cues and tells here*

I also sus that this is why reader is hesitant to say ILY so far whether she knows it or not but again thats just my tin foil talkin

oooh FUCKING LOVE the reader coming up to observe johnny unnoticed!!! all up in simon’s space looking at his sketches 👀👀

and then HIS BODY LANGUAGE!!!! the open grimace, putting physical space in between them, deflecting with the “incriminating” comment accusations + bringing up simon.. I devoured the entire convo of just reader + johnny here; just fuckin fascinated by reader acting as a social bridge between simon and johnny here...maybe in more ways than one? (DO NOT MAKE AN EIFFEL TOWER JOKE DO NOT FUCKING-)

anyway my current conclusion based on this convo is that the torch johnny has been carrying for simon is fucking OLYMPIC-SIZED (last joke I swear I’m SORRY) and he deflects with casual/shallow flirting etc. to hide the weight/grief of it anyway brb dabbing away some tears so I can see clearly to read the rest of this-

also ALSO SUS impending loss of johnny as partner (and more) is what triggers simon’s nightmares; i usually dont recall/consider simon’s canon backstory when i picture him in fics I read unless explicitly stated/included but I think we can all agree across the board that generally speakin That Man Has Seen Sum Shit™️

You can’t imagine the stress that he is under, and you’d do anything to be able to shoulder a fraction of it for him. 

mood, reader, moooooood! also please if it is not obvi already despite the emotional beating she is taking/giving herself over not being able to befriend her bf's bff - reader is SUCH a great friend and gf to simon, i also want to give her a giant hug and peptalk and also kick johnny in the balls for how mean he is to her, no excuses, laddie

“That was mine!” Johnny shouts, elbowing the man next to him. “Did you see that? That was my work!”

👀👀 whats that phrase IN VINO VERITAS once again PHRASING, MACTAVISH, PHRASING GOD D A M N

I am looking down the road and brother, all roads lead to ghoaple i mean, rome as they say (trying to put ghost soap throuple in one word)

“Simon?” Johnny let’s go of the guy’s shirt, his bad mood evaporating as quickly as it had manifested.

hMMMMM

He says something back, some Scottish phrase, his accent so thick you couldn’t understand the words even if you knew them. 

hi PSA i need a favor pls someone please run over to the bar, get their security vid and lipread or transcribe what he said so I can look it up on google translate i will reward you with monopoly monies or some hot goss from the legacy media companies I’ve worked with, your choice

also do I sus not only wariness but also attraction from johnny to reader here?! but is it cos reader reminds him of simon 👀👀👀

“Oh, did I offend you?” he breathes, clutching one hand at his breast. “Not falling down at your feet? Not worshippin’ the ground you walk on?” 

 johnny do I smell some jalousie, as the french like to say hon hon hon

also btw I have been in a car with a crying driver and lemme tell you ALWAYS. PULL. OVER. that shit will drastically lower your life expectancy and raise your blood pressure simultaneously (obligatory FUCK YOU ELIJAH YOU POS FOR BREAKING UP WITH MY FRIEND OVER THE FUCKING PHONE WHILE SHE WAS DRIVING IF I EVER SEE YOUR PATHETIC BITCH ASS AGAIN IT IS ON SIGHT)

“I don’t understand,” you mutter. “He wants us to be friends.”  “He doesn’t know what he wants,'' Johnny says.

oh and you do, do you now, johnny? RAGGGHHHH my anthropological brainworm is absolutely feasting at the drama/dynamics rn

also fucking dead at picturing drunk af johnny flipping the twin birds, then slipping and falling on his side

Johnny warns you sleepily: “Ghost is right there.”

WRENNY YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKER (affectionate) THE FUCKNG JUMPSCARE THIS GAVE ME AT 2AM WHEN I FIRST READ THIS I SCREAMED OUT LOUD 

ok now that I’ve fucking blacked out and typed a fucking marathon of an essay here i wiil just end with this lovelyass post by @/dwarvenales I read earlier -

not to get tooo fuckin sappy but wrenny I recall seeing a bit of the obstacles you overcame to continue writing this and just wanted to say for you and really for any other fic writer out there who struggle with your fics that you are very much seen and loved and your brainbabies are awaited with open arms by many more lovers than haters, mes amis! mwahmwahmwahmwah bisous bisous bisous for you all 😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌😘👌

A Complete Set (Whatever That Means) || 2

A continuation of Skin Deep. Part one of this sequel is here.

About this: previous warnings apply, oral sex (f receiving), alcohol, gross imperfections, not a single nipple unfortunately, an eyebrow though. For @/moody-alcoholic, I hope this manages to quench even the tiniest portion of your thirst. 1 more part left. 7k

-

“Simon?” 

“Hm.” 

“Are you seeing anybody else?” 

Simon looks up at you. His hair is getting long, falling over his forehead and looking nearly brunet in the dim lighting. You don’t think he’s cut it since the two of you have started dating. 

He’s been drawing for half the night, hunched over with the sketchpad in his lap, doing terrible things to his own posture and blocking his own lighting all at once. When he answers you, it’s in that dry tone that lets you know he thinks you’ve said something funny or clever: “No.” 

A knot in your chest loosens. It’s hard to believe you worried over such a question for so long just to receive such a simple, earnest answer. He goes back to sketching. 

You content yourself with this and stretch your legs out until your toes touch his thigh at the other end of the sofa. His mouth twitches, but he keeps working. 

-

Six months pass, and how do you celebrate? You climb topless onto Simon’s lap, eager and anxious in equal measure. Your nipple piercing had stopped hurting months ago (save for the time you had snagged it on a cable knit sweater and nearly seen Jesus), but you had read online that piercings heal from the outside inward, and as such you had made every attempt possible to leave the thing alone even when all you wanted to do was play with it. 

In his own way of celebrating, Simon had bought you your first new barbell: a black one with black gemmed studs at each end. You couldn’t help but notice that it looked similar to his, only with a more delicate, feminine touch.

“Will you change it for me?” you ask him. Your hands are shaking.

“Alright. Let me wash my hands.” He shifts you off of his lap and disappears into the bathroom where you hear the faucet turn on. You cross your arms over your breasts, feeling silly being half naked without Simon in the room. Your foot bounces impatiently, but you know that if cleanliness were a love language, it would likely be Simon’s. 

Not that he had told you he loved you—nor had you told him. You had promised yourself that you would wait until he said it first (the only sure-fire way to avoid coming across as overeager and scaring him off). Still, there were a thousand ways in a day that Simon made you feel as if he loved you: the way he would go out to start your car in the wintery mornings when your remote start stopped working; the way he always offered you the first bite of his food if you weren’t sharing a meal; the way he’d crack open your drinks before handing them to you. Was it wrong of you to try to read between the lines? 

Simon comes back and tugs you onto his lap again. His hands look huge compared to the jewelry through your breast as he dexterously works the ball free from the barbell. He has the hands of a surgeon: steady and calm. You close your eyes in anticipation of pain, but there is none; it just feels alien, sensitive whenever his calloused fingers brush over your pebbled nipple, even as he removes the barbell itself. 

Taking the sanitized jewelry, he carefully puts it in and screws the stud in place. 

“That didn’t hurt at all,” you say, reaching down to tug softly on the barbell. Still, no pain. 

“Great,” he says, eyes on your breasts. He grips your hips. “Up, now. C’mon, up.” 

He tugs you up onto your knees so that you’re the perfect height for him to take your nipple into his burning mouth. You shiver, one hand gripping his shoulder and the other burying itself in his hair, gripping softly to keep his mouth in place. If you had worried that getting the piercing would make you less sensitive, you were wrong. He tugs on the jewelry gently with his fucking teeth and God, holy shit, fucking hell, definitely not less sensitive.

“Been waiting to do this,” he says, nuzzling the skin between your breasts as he gives you a moment to catch your breath. “Six months of hell.” 

“Yeah?” You pant lamely, chest heaving. 

He hums. His thumbs stroke beneath your breasts along the sternum tattoo he gave you—a favorite part of you for him to touch—as his lips find your nipple again, lashing softly with his tongue. His hands have begun to tremble where they slide down the curves of your sides and to your hips, touch soft and worshipful as he brings you down to rest your weight against the hard line of his cock still confined in his jeans. The shaking says more than a thousand of his words ever could. 

“I want you,” he mutters. “Say yes.” 

“Yes, God, yes.”

Simon guides you off of his lap, kneeling down into the space between the couch and the coffee table. He pushes the table backwards with a little more force than is necessary when there isn’t enough room for his long legs and accidentally sends a cup full of charcoal pencils tipping over onto the carpet. You snort with laughter. He peels your leggings and panties off and drags you to the edge of the couch, pressing your thighs open wide. 

Getting head from partners in the past had been a fraught, mostly unenjoyable experience. Even your first few times with Simon had been tense, with him quickly moving on to something else after noticing your inability to relax. A less eager man might have counted his blessings and moved on, but Simon’s gentle persistence had gone a long way toward reassuring you that he truly wanted to please you this way. It had gone a long way toward reassuring you that you could let him. 

He spreads you apart, thumbs slipping against your slick folds, heated gaze pinpointed on your most intimate parts before he leans in and licks a broad stripe over your entrance and up to your clit. You shut your eyes (and cover your face for good measure). His warm breath fans against your pussy as he laughs. He could be mean and pull your hands away, but he lets you hide this way and you are grateful for it. 

Simon takes his time mapping each part of you with his mouth, nose brushing your clit whenever he doesn’t have his lips sealed over it. Your thighs shake, toes curled, as he pulls whines and choked gasps from your throat. 

You peek through your fingers when you feel him shifting beneath you to find that he’s worked his cock from his jeans and is jerking off, only noticeable by the tell-tale rhythmic motion of his arm against your calf. 

“Jesus, Simon,” you whine. 

He makes a little sound of acknowledgement in the back of his throat, shifting on his knees to change the angle of his mouth against you. Something about him so unashamedly enjoying himself makes it easier for you to enjoy yourself too, to let your hands come away from your face and thread them through his hair. 

“Can we fuck?” you breathe, aching inside deep where his tongue can’t reach. 

He nods against you and kneels up to kiss you. You still aren’t used to the taste of yourself in his mouth, but it’s growing less foreign—and nothing could ever make you turn away from one of Simon’s kisses. 

He pulls you off the couch onto your knees, his legs spread to either side of your own. You arch your back, feeling his cock brush against the back of your thighs. Two of his thick fingers slip inside you, testing your give and your wetness. He twists them; turns to hook them against that soft, vulnerable spot inside you that makes your legs shake. Simon works a third finger into you, a stretch that your body struggled to take before but which it accepts eagerly now, the sting welcome and familiar.

“Fuck. I need a condom,” he rasps. 

“Just pull out,” you say. 

You can sense him rolling his eyes. Your fondness for the (dangerous) pull-out method had been formally noted by him and thus far rejected at every turn. 

“Don’t insult me,” he mutters. He grabs your hand and guides it between your own legs. “Be good and keep yourself warm. I’ll be right back.”

He’s barely gone long enough for you to stroke your fingers through your folds, but when he returns (flashing the intact condom package at you like he always does), he watches you for an endless, lingering moment.

“I like that,” he says at last, taking his spot behind you again, condom in place. 

“Like what?”

“Watching you touch yourself.” The head of his cock nudges your entrance. He finds the right angle and slips inside you, stretching your walls to make room for himself. You groan, your fingers digging into the couch cushion. It stings a little, right towards the end, but he just softly saws himself in and out of your pussy, soothing the ache with pleasure. His words go completely over your head. 

He reaches so deep inside you, like with his every thrust his cock bullies the air out of your lungs. The slick sounds are lewd, keeping time with your moans and sighs as his fingertips dig into the flesh of your hips, manhandling you further onto the couch to the perfect height for him to fuck into you, your knees barely skimming the carpet.  

Your hand ends up crushed between your pelvis and the couch. You let your fingers find your clit and the touch reminds your body of how close it is, that coil deep in your belly stretched tight and ready to release. Your fingers trail down to where his cock pistons in and out of you, and at your touch he groans, slows to a smooth drag, his length slippery with your own arousal. 

“Touch yourself, not me,” he chides, his voice rough. “I’m close enough.” 

“I’m close enough,” you say.

He flops against your back, nearly crushing you with his weight to hook his chin over your shoulder and ask: “Then what the fuck are we waiting for?”

You can barely draw in the breath to laugh, and it’s only worse when you cum. You bury your face into the couch cushions, giggling, fingers rubbing a gentle, hectic rhythm against your clit as your pussy spasms around him. He snorts at your laughter, a soft quiet exhale against the back of your neck. Then he cums, his thrusts sloppy and hard, turning his head at the last moment to bite your shoulder lazily. 

“Sex makes you so weird,” you pant. Your face hurts from smiling. 

“You like it?”

“Yeah. I do.”

He ties off the condom and throws it away. The two of you sit naked on the couch together, curled up. It’s a little alien to be this open about your body with someone and to have them be so open about their body in return, but it’s a good strangeness. So much about loving Simon is. 

“I need to get the other one pierced now,” you mention, toying with his unpierced nipple. “Have to complete the set.”

“I never did.”

“You’re incomplete. Don’t you know?” 

He snorts. “I feel quite fulfilled, thanks.” 

“Please Simon?” you ask. “I want to.”

“Don’t ever say please. I’ll text Soap in the morning,” Simon says, trailing his fingers up and down the length of your arm, making goosebumps appear. 

You hesitate. Should you tell him what you’d been thinking about for the last several months? Would it offend him to know that you didn’t want to go to Johnny for any more piercings? 

Whether it offended him or not, your pride couldn’t rest easily going back to the tiny room behind the curtain in Skin Deep. While there had been only a few other tense interactions between you and Johnny since Simon’s birthday (and usually he seemed to favor outright ignoring your existence), the situation had not improved. 

“Simon—I think I’d rather go somewhere else for my other nipple. To someone other than Johnny, I mean.” 

Simon frowns. “What’d Johnny do.” 

He phrases it like that—more of a statement and less of a question, immediately assuming that Johnny is at fault. 

“It’s just—it’s like I said on your birthday. He doesn’t like me much.” 

Simon turns to look you in the eye. When your gaze tries to skirt away, he lets out an irritated breath through his nose—but doesn’t fight you. Simon always lets you run. Maybe because he knows his legs are long enough to catch you. “You really feel like that?” 

“You’ve never noticed?” 

“Thought it was in my head,” he mutters. Then he says the most dreaded words he possibly could: “I’ll talk to him.” 

“No!” you nearly shout. You struggle to lower your voice to something more appropriate for indoors, your heart tap-dancing to an anxious beat inside your chest. Just trying to picture Johnny’s irritated expression at any of Simon’s potential efforts to talk to him made your stomach turn over. “I mean—don’t. Really. It’s fine.” 

“It’s not. I need you two to get along. You and Johnny—you’re the most important people in my life,” he says baldly. His honesty does something to your lungs—empties them, crushes them. You only just realize the position that you’re putting Simon in, and it makes you feel about two inches tall. How could you let your petty problems with Johnny potentially get in the way of their longtime friendship? Their brotherhood?

“I’m begging you, Simon,” you plead. “Promise me you won’t talk to him. Just, give me more time to get to know him or something.” 

“Can't promise that.” He stands up and stretches, joints popping as you stare at him, your stomach tearing itself to pieces at this knowledge. This is not how this conversation was meant to end. But he disappears into the bedroom before you can gather your wits enough to say another word.

-

There is nothing like sleeping beside Simon, his arm beneath your head, your body turned and cradled against his side, a leg thrown over his thighs. His heart is as slow and steady as his breaths, his calloused thumb tracing a line back and forth on your naked side, a line which grows slower and slower as he drifts closer to sleep. 

You ruin it like this: “Simon?” 

“Hm.” 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“If you got’a.” 

“On your birthday, you said that women meant for you sometimes ended up being Johnny’s. What did you mean?” 

He’s quiet for so long that you mistake him for falling asleep. You’ve resigned yourself to asking him another night when he speaks, his speech is slow and thoughtful, like it is hard to put it into words. 

“When Soap and I are in a room together with women, I’m like a ghost. He’s a fucking human being. Flesh and blood. Alive. People want to talk to him, to know him, to laugh with him, to have a drink with him. I’m not like that. I haven’t ever been like that. More than once Johnny would try to get me together with a woman who would end up falling for him instead. Eventually I convinced him to stop trying.” 

“Were you jealous?” 

He makes an ambiguous sound. “It’s hard to be jealous of Soap.” 

“Not impossible, though.” 

He rolls you over onto your back, coming to rest over you, your legs a tangled mess beneath the sheets. The darkness lengthens the shadows of his eyes, but you can still feel his gaze, tangible as any touch. He braces himself on his elbows over you and lets his forehead rest against your own. “I just wanted someone who was mine,” he says. 

It’s on the tip of your tongue, those words that are building inside of you and growing harder to withhold by the day. But you say it like this and hope he can translate: “I’m yours.” 

He ducks his head and kisses you. 

-

In the morning, Simon has slipped a piece of paper just beneath the edge of your mug of tea. When you look at it, written in charcoal pencil is DARCELINA: Dream City Tattoos and Piercings XXX-XXXX. 

-

It’s one for the record books: the rain. Thick pregnant clouds carry more than eight inches of rain to your city in the course of a day. The last time it rained so much was apparently during the Civil War era. The city floods, including the basement of your apartment building, which leads to a building-wide power outage. 

Simon has you pack a suitcase, junk the majority of your refrigerator and freezer, and come stay with him. You’re giddy, feeling like it’s a semi-permanent sleepover when he gets the call that Skin Deep has flooded as well. 

Then things take a turn for the worse. Simon is gone for nearly 36 hours straight making endless calls to attempt to clear the water and begin repairs, and sometime in the midst of that, the fight with Johnny happens. 

It’s an ugly one. 

Simon comes home in the foulest mood you’ve ever seen him in. It turns him positively stony as he moves around the apartment making himself a hasty meal, avoiding your eyes every chance he gets. After he eats, he sits heavily on the sofa, pulls out his sketchpad, and trashes no fewer than six entire pages before you get the nerve to ask him what’s wrong. 

“Soap,” he mutters, crumpling a paper in one strong, dextrous hand. He throws it toward the small garbage can beside the telly and misses. “He’s looking for other locations to pierce at.”

“Is the building that bad?” you ask. “You guys will have to find a new place?”

“Soap is looking for a new place. One without me.”

You gape, the shock of this news reaching all the way to the core of your being. 

“You don’t think it’s because of—?” Me. You can’t even finish the sentence, the thought upsets you so much. You tuck your legs beneath you on the couch, curling up, seeking to become small and harmless as grief and horror wash over you in wave after wave. 

“This is my fault. I tried to talk to him but he’s so fucking—he gets under my goddamn skin like he was born to do it.” Simon pauses heavily, before adding: “I need to tell you something about the night Soap pierced me.” 

Story time. Alright. You uncurl your legs, choosing to sit with them criss-crossed, your body turned toward him, giving Simon your entire attention. It’s been months since you found out that Johnny had been the one to pierce Simon, but you had been no closer to getting the story from either of them. Your curiosity was a dangerous, corrosive thing, eating away at your insides. 

“I’m listening,” you say, hoping you don’t look as eager as you feel. 

Simon looks to be at a loss for words, running his tongue along the sharp edge of his teeth. When he speaks, it’s hardly the lengthy story you had been anticipating: “We fucked.”

You blink. “You and—Johnny?”

Simon sighs and shrugs a shoulder. 

“I didn’t know you were…” Simon stares, waiting for you to finish your sentence. “…interested in men.”

“You are. Why can’t I be?”

You feel a chilly pang of horror, like someone has slipped a dagger between your ribs. You rush to assure him: “You can! You—“

Simon’s mouth twitches as he rubs at the crease of one eye, and your panic fades. He mumbles: “I’m just fucking with you.”

“So you’re bisexual.”

“I’m… I don’t fucking know. I’m attracted to who I’m attracted to. I never named it.”

“Okay,” you say gently. “We don’t have to. But what does that have to do with now?”

“The day after we—y’know. Fucked. I told him it was a one time thing. Maybe it’s in my head,” says Simon, frowning. “Maybe I’m crazy. But sometimes he looks at me or says something to me and it makes me think it’s not over. Not for him.”

“Is it really over,” you ask, “for you?”

Simon looks at you, quiet. He says: “I want you.”

And you are so relieved by the obvious honesty in his answer that it never crosses your mind to think that’s not what you asked. 

-

Simon is uptown at a café holding consultations while Johnny directs cleanup efforts at the shop, and you think that now’s the perfect chance. 

Your hands shake against the steering wheel the whole drive there, nerves less like butterflies and more like great winged moths in your belly. A part of you says that this is a mistake, you should turn back and let Simon and Johnny work it out on their own. But another part of you feels personally responsible—even if Simon says you aren’t. All your life you have taken things too personally, shouldered burdens which were not your own, bent over backwards to solve problems that weren’t yours to solve. If there was any chance that you could resolve this, you would put your pride on the line to do it. 

You park alongside the street and are thrilled to find the front door unlocked. The entire place smells musty, like a basement. The wooden floors have warped a little under your tentative steps, announcing your presence sooner than you’d like. 

Johnny sits in the chair where Simon tattoos clients. Sunlight streams in through the blinds and lights him up like some kind of punk-rock angel, his mohawk freshly clipped, dark finger nail polish chipping. Sometime between now and the last time you’ve seen him, he’s pierced his eyebrow: a black barbell with studs that reminds you a little too much of the one through your nipple (and Simon’s. Was that intentional? Did Johnny pick jewelry to match Simon’s? To match yours? For some reason just the thought makes your nipples tighten). In his hands is one of Simon’s sketchpads, and he’s flipping through it leisurely. 

He glances up toward the sound of your footsteps. 

“If you’re here about the water—“ his words die out on his pierced tongue as he stares at you, gobsmacked by your appearance. 

“Hey,” you say lamely. 

“Where’s Simon?” he asks, eyes flickering toward the protective spot where Simon usually hovers just over your shoulder. “He said he wouldn’t be in today.”  

“He’s not. It’s just me. I thought maybe we could talk.”

Johnny openly grimaces. He shuts Simon’s sketchpad and sets it down (hopefully where he found it). Standing from the chair, he takes a few casual steps away from you, clearly heading towards the curtain that leads to the back of the shop. “Really cannot think of anything we have to talk about.”

You square your shoulders, fighting down that instinctive urge to make yourself smaller, to give in and be manageable. “I think we do.” 

“You should go.” 

“Not until we work this out.” 

“There isn’t any this, alright, just—does Simon even know you’re here?” Something guilty must splash across your face because Johnny gives a mirthless laugh, reaching up to palm at his eyes. “Tha’s great. Just great. Could you be more incriminating?” 

“Incriminating—? Look, Simon told me about the night you pierced him.”

“Oh he did, did he?” Johnny says flippantly. 

“About how you two slept together.” 

Now that stops Johnny in his tracks. It’s clear that he didn’t expect Simon to really tell you about that night all those years ago. He looks at you with a fresh caution, waiting to see how exactly you’ve taken this news—what you plan to do with it. “Aye, then. I guess he did.” 

“I’m not trying to take him away from you.” 

Johnny makes a derisive sound. His words are well-rehearsed, like he has said them to himself a hundred-hundred times: “Cannot take what isn’t mine.” 

“He was your friend first,” you say, aiming for conciliatory and gentle the same way you might approach a feral animal. Johnny stares at you with flat, suspicious eyes. They’re so fucking blue—so different from Simon’s own dark ochre ones. “He told me that you’re one of the most important people in his life.” 

Johnny’s face softens. He says: “You shouldn’t tell me that. He wouldn’t.” 

“He’s not always good with words. Please don’t leave the shop, Johnny. I think it would break Simon’s heart.”

“I didn’t know he had a heart to break,” Johnny mutters. He leans against the wall beside the curtain and sighs, lips pressed into a thin line. “I’ll think about it. Now out. You shouldn’t be breathin’ in this air.” 

Johnny ushers you to the door, hand hovering just above your back, careful not to touch you. Once you’re out on the street, he shuts the door and locks it audibly. Then he leans in and huffs a heated breath beneath the “NO WALK INS” sign. In the fog, he adds: “No GFs!”

You flip him off. 

He flips you off. 

On the way back to your car, you find yourself smiling. You force yourself to scowl. It’s a more appropriate expression. Giving one last glance back toward Skin Deep, you find him still standing there, watching. 

Likely just to make sure you’re really leaving. 

-

Not long after you are moved back into your apartment, you find that Simon stops sleeping. 

You’re ashamed to say that it takes you a while to notice; nothing changes on your end of things. Anytime you are sleeping over, he lays down with you, tugs you up against his chest, and holds you for ages, his body still and breathing even. But one night you wake to a cool, empty bed. And later in the week, it happens again. Until more often than not you realize that any moment when you expect Simon to be sleeping, he isn’t. 

Usually you find him sketching, shadows like charcoal smudged beneath his eyes. He doesn’t meet your gaze and tells you to go back to bed, that he’ll be there soon. Sometimes he even does come to lay back down beside you—but only long enough for you to convince him that you have fallen asleep again. Then he is shifting away from you, disappearing into the other room, shutting the bedroom with the quietest click behind him. 

You know that he’s busy. His schedule has been booked—and with deposits nonrefundable, people more often than not kept their appointments. He’s been working with a client on mock ups for a sleeve, and the various pieces and the way they all come together around the contours of the person’s body are very delicate. Johnny’s threat to find a new job doesn’t help, either. Have they talked and resolved things yet? Simon never says so. 

You can’t imagine the stress that he is under, and you’d do anything to be able to shoulder a fraction of it for him. 

That’s how you end up with drunk Johnny in your car. 

It starts with Simon falling asleep before you—for once. You can tell he is well and truly asleep by the sheer weight of his arm over you, the soft snores that he gives out against the nape of your neck. After so many nights of sleeplessness, his body has finally given in. You’re about to slip off to sleep yourself when the buzzing of a phone startles you back into wakefulness. 

Not your phone—Simon’s phone. And it goes off again. And again. And again. Who the hell could be sending so many messages at midnight?

You know you should leave it alone—if it was urgent, they would likely call—but curiosity gets the better of you. Carefully you slip out from under Simon’s arm. It’s a testament to his sheer exhaustion that he doesn’t wake as you jostle him. In sleep, he looks painfully young and relaxed, and it makes you long to reach out and brush back his hair that has fallen onto his forehead. But not at the risk of waking him. 

Sure that all you are planning to do is shut Simon’s phone off so that he can get some restful sleep, you are surprised to see that Simon has his text notifications visible on the homescreen, so all it takes is a simple tap to open them up. 

Johnny. All Johnny. 

Ghost. 

Ghost

Are you uo? 

Up* fuck my fingers 

I need a ride home

Simon

I’m at that bar on… The text is cut off. To see more, you would have to open his phone. So Johnny is stuck at some bar, drunk more than likely. Well good riddance, you think to yourself, the hurtful way he treated you still very much fresh in your brain. But then you remember your talk at Skin Deep, and your traitorous heart softens. Could you really just put the phone back now and pretend you hadn’t seen the messages?

Simon doesn’t even have a password; that’s how much he trusts you. Would he still trust you after this, if he knew that you had gone through his phone, even if it was for a good cause? 

Making a spur of the moment decision, you could only hope so. Your conscience wouldn’t let you wake Simon, and as much as you disliked him, it couldn’t let you leave Johnny stranded at some bar either. 

You open his phone as quickly as you can, swiping so that it goes straight to Johnny’s texts and nowhere else. The name of the bar is right there, and you scramble for your own phone to type it down in Google Maps. He’s not far. Probably would be within walking distance, if he weren’t drunk. You could be there and back before Simon ever knew you were gone—you hoped. 

As Simon, you send back to Johnny a simple OMW. 

There is no hint of spring in the frigid March air as you slip outside into your car. The parking lot is dim and quiet, and traffic is minimal as you follow the GPS on your phone to Johnny’s location. The pub nightlife spills out onto the pavement and you struggle to find a place to park, grimacing at the knowledge that you will have to get out of the car and go inside to find Johnny, considering you see him nowhere on the street. Leaving the warmth of your car is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, especially in just a thin tank-top and a pair of leggings. Gathering your coat more tightly around yourself, you rush out of the car and through the people on the sidewalk and into the warmth of the pub. 

You keep your eyes peeled for Johnny, but can’t spot his silly haircut anywhere. What if he’s gotten a ride home from someone else? What if he’s decided to walk, or found someone to go home with? You shift up onto your toes, looking over everyone in the bar when you spot him in the corner at a table with a few other men. 

Johnny doesn’t even recognize you at first—either a testament to how unexpected your sudden appearance is or how drunk he is based on how difficult it is for his eyes to focus on you. When he realizes who you are, his mouth drops. He points. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, accent so thick and slurred that you can barely understand him. 

“Picking you up. You said you needed a ride.”

“Aye but not from—oh, Jesus make me still. Yer not wearing a bra, are you?” 

All the men at the table turn to gape. You snatch the sides of your jacket closed where they had loosely fallen open, your face flushing with warmth. The table roars with laughter, but Johnny in his drunkenness doesn’t seem to notice your embarrassment. 

“That was mine!” Johnny shouts, elbowing the man next to him. “Did you see that? That was my work!”

“We get it, bruv,” the guy says with a roll of his eyes. “She’s no ten.” 

“What’d you fuckin’ say?”

The table laughs. 

Johnny grabs a fistful of the guy’s shirt and drags him nearly clean out of his seat. “I said, What’d you fucking say about her?”

The table stops laughing. Johnny cuts an impressive figure even when drunk; he’s easily the largest guy of the group. Your stomach drops and lands somewhere between your shoes. This is not going to plan at all. Reaching out, you try to insert yourself physically between the two of them but can only wrap your fingers around Johnny’s wrist, feeling the strength poised in the tendons. 

“Johnny,” you say, loudly to be heard over the sounds of the pub. “Come on. Let’s go, yeah? Simon…Simon’s out in the car.” 

“Simon?” Johnny let’s go of the guy’s shirt, his bad mood evaporating as quickly as it had manifested. He nudges his way out from behind the table, all politeness. Once free, he stumbles into a woman in a slinky dress who gives him a look that could melt glass. 

“I’m so sorry,” you apologize to her, wrapping an arm around Johnny’s waist and doing your best to keep him steady. “He’s an idiot, and he’s drunk. You look amazing by the way—“

“Control your boyfriend,” she snaps. 

“I will,” you promise, guiding Johnny away from her and into the crowd. 

His nose brushes the shell of your ear, breath fanning across your neck as he says with a laugh in his voice: “I’m not yer boyfriend.” 

You flush. “Thanks for letting me know, Johnny. I had no clue.” 

He says something back, some Scottish phrase, his accent so thick you couldn’t understand the words even if you knew them. 

“English, please,” you mutter. 

“Je-sus,” he groans, dragging the words out into multiple syllables. He takes your chin in his hand and squeezes your cheeks a little. “You’re just like him. ‘English, MacTavish’. Ha!”

You bat his hand away. 

“He’s been rubbing off on you,” Johnny mutters, laughing a little. Beneath his breath (though far more loudly than he likely intends), he adds: “In more ways than one, I imagine.”

Your face goes hot. “Johnny, stop talking.” 

The two of you exit the pub out into the cool night air. It seems to sober Johnny some, as he takes in deep, gulping breaths. He walks a little steadier as the two of you cross the street, and by the time you’ve made it to your car, he has shrugged you off altogether (even if he is still a little unstable on his feet). He stands outside the car for a moment before opening one of the rear doors. 

“What are you doing?”

“Rather sit back here.” 

“I’m not your cabbie.”

“Strange manner of dress if you were,” he says snidely, slipping into the backseat. 

In the driver’s seat, you let yourself have a small breakdown. You grip the wheel tightly, taking a few deep breaths of your own, searching for inner peace. You thought that you and Johnny had a tentative truce after that day at Skin Deep, but clearly he is still holding some grudge. Your search for peace turns up empty. 

“Sorry I lied about Simon being here. I just really needed you to leave the pub,” you explain politely. 

“Knew you were lying,” Johnny says from the darkness of the backseat. He sounds remarkably like Simon: brooding and irritable. “He’s got no idea you’re here, does he? He’d never let you come alone.” 

You frown. “No. He doesn’t. He’s sleeping and I didn’t want to wake him.” 

“Nightmares?” 

“Huh?” 

Johnny leans forward. You glance at him in the rear view mirror. “I said, Has he been having more nightmares?” 

You didn’t know anything about Simon having nightmares. That sour feeling in your belly was back, the one that made you feel like you would never truly know Simon, not the way his friends did. 

“No,” you say, a little defensive. “He’s been working on this sleeve for a client. Staying up way too late to finish it on time.” 

“Aye. Nightmares. Anything else is just an excuse he’s telling himself—and you.” 

Done with the conversation, you turn the key in the ignition and pull out into the street. “What’s your address?” 

“Doesn’t matter.” 

“Why’s that?” 

“Left my keys at the bar.” 

“Goddamnit.” 

You turn towards Simon’s apartment. “Then you’re staying with us—with Simon. You can sleep on his couch and get your keys in the morning; I’m sure he won’t care.” 

“Are you staying there?” 

“Yes.” 

Johnny mutters something under his breath. You consider yourself lucky not to have heard it. For a while, the two of you drive in silence. Then Johnny says: 

“You never came for your second nipple.” 

“It’s only just been six months.” 

“So you’re due for an appointment then, aren’t you?” 

You steel yourself, gripping the wheel tightly at ten-and-two. “Actually, I’m going to someone else.”

Johnny’s seatbelt unclicks. He hovers at your shoulder bringing with him burning warmth and the scent of whisky. When he talks, his breath brushes your neck, fury tangible in every syllable. “Who is it? Who the hell is he taking you to? Darcelina? Astrid? Dusty? Whoever it is, consider the appointment canceled. No one is piercing you but me.”

“You don’t get that privilege,” you grit out between your teeth. “Not anymore, not after the way you’ve treated me!”

“Oh, did I offend you?” he breathes, clutching one hand at his breast. “Not falling down at your feet? Not worshippin’ the ground you walk on?” 

“Fuck you, Soap! I wanted to be friends.” Your voice cracks embarrassingly. Suddenly the road goes blurry. You blink rapidly, forcing yourself to calm down—you’re driving for fuck’s sake. You swallow past the lump in your throat, the silence interrupted by rustling as Johnny leans forward again in the backseat, trying to get a look at your face in the passing streetlights. 

“Fuck,” Johnny groans. “Are you crying?”

“No!”

“You are. Fuckin’—pull over, before you get us killed.” 

Keen embarrassment only has your eyes watering more, until you have no choice but to do as he asks, pulling over to hastily parallel park and throw on your hazard lights. You let your elbows rest against the steering wheel, face in your hands. His words echo in your head, said in that stupid Scottish brogue: not falling down at your feet? Not worshippin’ the ground you walk on? Are those really the things he thought you wanted? Is that the sort of impression you gave to Johnny, to Ghost’s other friends? 

The backseat door opens and Johnny climbs out. A small part of you hopes that he will walk himself home—and good riddance. But he horrifies you by walking all the way around to the driver’s side of the car and tugging on the door handle until you begrudgingly unlock the doors. 

“C’mon,” he says, trying to pull you out of the car with your seatbelt still on. 

“What’re you—?”

“Just—wouldya—so stubborn—“ he drunkenly leans over you and mashes his fingers against the button of your seatbelt until it releases. For that brief moment, he is a warm weight across your lap, bringing with him the scent of cologne and whisky. Then he pulls you out of the car—and into his arms. It’s a tight, full hug, chest-to-chest, not bone crushing per se, but all-encompassing. 

You don’t realize how badly you need it from him until you’re getting it. 

“You’re such a dick,” you groan against his shoulder, sniffling.

“Aye,” he says, swaying a little on his feet, like the two of you are dancing. “But I’m right. We cannot be friends. So you’ve got to let this go, alright? Just breathe out 'n let it go.”

“I don’t understand,” you mutter. “He wants us to be friends.” 

“He doesn’t know what he wants,'' Johnny says, one hand rubbing gently at your shoulder blades. “No more crying. It’s out of your hands. Aye?”

You shake your head, hands gripping his shirt. 

But your tears slow and eventually stop. Cars pass occasionally. One of them honks at the sight of you both entwined on the side of the road, rolls down their window to let their passenger yell something suggestive, and it makes your face go hot. Johnny pulls away, nearly stumbling out into the road to give the car both middle fingers as it peels away. He slips on the damp asphalt and goes down hard on his side, taking the skin off his elbow and palm. 

“Fuck, I’m hammered,” he laughs. 

“Clearly,” you say, struggling to help him up and into the backseat. 

Once in the driver’s seat again, you feel exhausted, emptied, like a washcloth wrung out and left to dry. The drive back to the apartment is silent, and when you’re in the parking lot, neither of you make a move to get out of the car. 

You warn Johnny: “Simon’s asleep, so be quiet inside.” 

Johnny warns you sleepily: “Ghost is right there.”

There’s a tap on the glass of your window. It nearly makes you shriek—but it is only Simon, half-smoked cigarette in his fingers, bundled up outside the car door. You roll down the window sheepishly. 

“Need a little help?” he asks, taking a drag and turning his head so the smoke doesn’t touch you. His eyes are on Johnny in the backseat. 

You hold up your fingers with just a smidge of space between them. 

[chososcamgirl]

HIHIHIHI IYAAA SOOOO I JUST CAME BACK FROM HANGING OUT W MY FRIENDSSS AND I DIDNT BUY ANYTHINGG (was gonna spend @ Sephora but ended up reasoning with myself and put everything away YAY ME) BUTTTTTT WE DID END UP WATCHING JOKER 2 SOO IM GONNA RANT ABT IT (to make up for the lost check ins) 😈

HOW WAS WORKK??? HOPE IT WAS VERY SKIBIDIIII!!! TELL ME ABTT IT SIGMA ALPHA IYA🐺💪‼️

I FORGOT IF I SENT MY ACTUALLY DAILY CHECK IN TODAY (I write them in my notes) SO TELL ME IF U DONT SEE IT AND ILL PASTE IT OVER TO TUMBLR (im pretty sure I did but I THINK I FORGOT TO TURN ON ANON SO IF I ACCIDENTALLY DID A BLOG REVEAL KEEP MY IDENTITY A MYSTERY 🤫 BUT TELL ME SO I CAN RESEND MY DAILY ASK) 

OMG I RENTED A POWERBANK AND ACCIDENTALLY BROUGHT IT BACK WITH ME… ITS NEARLY 12AM HERE SO I NEED TO GO BACK TMRW (im gonna get charged about like $40 SOMEONE SHOOT ME OMFG) AT LEAST I GET AN EXCUSE TO GO TO THE MALL TMRW THO?? 

ALSOOO I FOUND A STORE HIRING NEAR MY SCHOOLLLL I RLLY WANT TO GET A PART TIME SO I MIGHTTT CONSIDER IT BUT THEN I WOULD NEED TO FIND THE TIME TO ACTUALLY COMMIT IF I DO WANT TO PURSUE ITTTT

OMGROIGOJIOJIR REMEMBER HOW I MENTIONED I WRITE IN MY SLEEP?? TURNS OUT THAT LIKE A WEEK AGO.. I FELL ASLEEP WHILE DOING HOMEWORK AND STARTED WRITING ABOUT MY RACE IN MY SLEEP.. AND I DIDNT BOTHER TO CHECK IT WHEN I WOKE UP ON MY DESK IN THE MORNING SO I TURNED THAT SHIT IN WITHOUT NOTICING I RANTED ABOUT MY FUCKING RACE ON MY ASSIGNMENT…. MY TEACHER WAS SO FUCKING CONFUSED ON WHY I STATED I WASN’T WHITE ON MY PAPER AND TOLD ME THAT THEY THOUGHT I MIGHT OF BEEN HAVING PROBLEMS MENTALLY… THE FACT I HAD TO ADMIT IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS SLEEP WRITING??? IM GONNA END IT PLEASEEE THATS SO EMBARRASSINMGGGG IT WAS HELLA FUNNY THO.. I WOULD POST THE PICTUJRE BUT I CANT </3 CUS OF ANON *sighs* 

ITSSS SJAPP WEEKENDDDDDD IM SO EXCITED ITLL BE 5AM WHERE I LIVE SO THAT MEANS I GET TO WAKE UP TO A NEW CHAPTERRRR

SPOILER WARNING FOR JOKER 2 ‼️‼️

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.

.

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Okay I was a HUGE fan of the first movie which was why I was excited to see the second one with my friends but honestly… IT WAS SO ASSSSS

First, I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS GONNA BE A MUSICAL like I don’t mind musicals, they can be BANGERS and the first few songs were good BUT as the film progressed the songs just felt so unnecessary and awkward👿😭

UGHHHH OMFGGGG IM SOOOOO PISSED ABGT HOW DIRTY THEY DID MISS QUINN IN THE SEQUEL!!!! I LOVE HARLEY QUINN AND GAGA BUT LIKE HER BACKSTORY IN THIS MOVIE AND HER WHOLE PERSONALITY IS NOT ITTTTTT PLUSSS GAGA I LOVE UR VOICE BUT OMFGG I SWEAR THE SINGING WAS TOOOOO EXCESSIVE ARNTRJNSR THEY DID HER SOO DIRTYY.. GAGA WAS ROBBED.. SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SOOOO MUCH MORE BUT HER CHARACTER WAS JUST.. BLEH..

HONESTLY IF YOU TOOK OUT ALL THE MUSICAL FACTORS THEN THE MOVIE WOULD FEEL LIKE A 2HR LECTURE… AND THE RUN TIME??? TWO HRS IS INSANE FOR SUCH A PLOT 

THERE WERE NO PLANS OF A SEQUEL AND THEY SHOULD OF KEPTTT IT THAT WAYYY OMGGG THIS WAS SUCH AN OBVIOUS CASHGRAB.. THE FIRST ONE CLEARLY HAD PASSION, THIS ONE WAS JUST FOR MONEY THERES A REASON WHY THE RATING IS SO LOWWWWWW

STILL THO, THE MOVIE HAD GOOD SCENES AND ALL THE ACTORS HAD THEIR MOMENTS  .

.

. OKKKK HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY SIGMA NIGHT!!! SWEET DREAMS I LOVE YOU DAWG 💪🔥

- 🐺

HI ALPHA!!🐺

responding to ur most recent ask sent on saturday night hello‼️‼️‼️

IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD FUN WITH UR FRIENDS!!! im glad🙂‍↕️ hanging out with ur friends always makes life better even if its for that moment it’s still very much worth it <33 HOORAY FOR REASONABLE SPENDING🎉🎉 u are stronger than me alpha.. sephora and i are in a current battle and i fear she’s winning😰

WORK THIS WEEK HAS BEEN SO GOOD!! i worked 4 days in a row all either opening or closing (or both) but they were all good shifts! i’m just very exhausted from this week though like mentally and physically😭 i slept most of the day away yesterday and im just trying to rest up again today because my throat is actually getting worse which KMS.

NO LMFAO UR FINE!! if u do happen to reveal urself don’t worry i’ll keep it a secret 🤫🤫🤐 WHAT? $40 OH MU GOD what the fuck that is SO EXPENSIVE TO RETURN IT i would just keep it at that point.. but atleast it’s another excuse to go to da mall🤗🙂‍↕️ YIPEE! oooo job searching! that’s exciting. though part time is a big commitment just bc you can’t change ur hours once it’s set in place but if you want to apply for it then i say go for it!! as long as u have the time for it 100%!!

OH MY GOD😭😭 NOT ON THE HOMEWORK TOO PLS that actually made me giggle please. don’t worry abt it though i’ve seen worse!! sleep writing is a talent that u should not be embarrassed abt, you’re good‼️🙂‍↕️

IVE HEARD SO MANY BAD REVIEWS ABOUT THE MOVIE LIKE the fact that they break out into song randomly etc😭 i wanted to watch it but the reviews are making me rethink spending $15 on a movie ticket… ill probably not watch it and watch the substance instead (apparently that’s fucked) BUT ILL LYK!!!

THANK YOU ALPHA!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY SIGMA DAY‼️ ILY🫵🫂

[moonrisecoeur]

🐕 ok baby im so sorry for this literal. giant list. BABY YOU SAID YOU WERE WEIRD ABOUT MUSIC, THAT YOU WERE ANNOYING ABOUT MUSIC, ECT ECT WHATEVER I FUCKING CHALLENGE YOU BECAUSE I AM NOT FUCKING!!!!! NORMAL ABOUT MUSIC !!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM DISGUSTING ABOUT MUSIC!!!!!

babe i even CATEGORIZED them bc theres so FUCKING MANY !!

also i did do cws on some songs i had concerns ab? the ones w !s are ones im super unsure ab. also aaaa u dont have to listen to any of these but,. u awaked the demon,, BEAST in me.

i have also fdhgkjdsfg listened to most of the songs in ur post but my brain is also mushy after listening to all of these and making this list so i shall. give thoughts Later. xoxo (its also late hehe)

my top faves <3 (if u like these i am skipping the making out part and going straight to fucking u)

this is your night - amber

no one ever really dies - mystery skulls

magic original demo - mystery skulls

these dont rlly have lyrics but i literally listened to them on repeat when i was writing the novel length asks to u so if u want ur brain to melt like mine while i was writing those...,, <3<3

(cw: a bit loud/high pitched and really weird music? ravey)

desktopbuddy - nanoray

dogwalk2000 - nanoray

dog bus (ft telemist) - metaroom

worm rave - metaroom

songs i feel ud like based on ur music taste ive seen (plsss tell me if u like them bc i will happily rec more i just feel bad w how long this list FUCKING IS)

until we get there - lucius

don't just sit there - lucius

wasting time - hoax

western medicine - hoax

into the blackhole - hoax

winter - daughter

the only exception - paramore

are you bored yet? - the wallows

don't you wonder? - jagged jaw

tonight is - jagged jaw

the comedienne - parenthetical girls

who'd have known - lily allen

somewhere only we would know - lily allen (this is a cover but god its my fav version so)

come to me - goo goo dolls (baby im ngl i think leon would love this song)

true love - coldplay

juliet - cavetown

lemon boy - cavetown (cavetown is a trans king please support his music <3 mwah mwah)

relax, take it easy - mika (ngl this one is a bit more of a shot in the dark buttt)

together - mystery skulls (same as above tbh)

these r from like 1 artist i rlly like but bby i am sure u will NOT like their music,, kinda like the nanoray and metaroom ones but like worse. !!WILL!! make ur brain melt. (trust me when i say i HANDPICKED thru their music,,,,)

kill screen - machine girl (!!!!cw: yelling! im only including this bc its one of my top FAVES. it goes so hard holy shit. if ur comfy with it listen from 2:55-end cus theres no yelling, its just such fucking GOOD buildup to the BEST part of the fucking song [3:18] i9ts literally. AHH)

post rave maximalist - machine girl (cw: has some sirens and airhorns? theyre not loud tho.)

freewill - machine girl

nine minutes and forty three seconds - machine girl (bro this album is like straight up not your alley this is the only song without screaming in it LOL)

cloud99 (as above mix) - machine girl

lilith - machine girl

cyan hardcore - machine girl

sin to win! - machine girl

IM OBSESSED W THESE AND THEY NEED MORE LOVE

my favorite color is you - revenegeinkyoto (!!!!cw: yelling--mostly exclamatories and parts of the bridge, the ending is a bit heavy w it tho--, yandere song, heavy metal)

don't go insane - dpr ian (THEREVE BEEN SO MANYT LEON EDITS TO IT AND GGGRRRRRR GRHHHH RHHHH that one part GURLL iykyk but ITS A GOOD SONG REGARLESS AHHHGGGHHHH)

the memory viewer - sugary sweet machines

talkative revolver city slicker (/or/) resume song - sugary sweet machines (these are 2 songs that (at their core) are essentially the same but are different enough that i pick them based on which im just feelin more,) (OK SO ALSO these r from the ost of an indie game and IDK if i can rec the game personally (i found it during a very dark part of my life) but the ost and esp these songs are hella banger and i really want the artist to get more love for them)

megatronic - powerman 5000 (cw: not yelling but heavily synthetic sounding? hard music xP)

benzie box - danger doom (THIS. GOES. SO. HARD.)

boys & girls - will.i.am (BI SONG? BI SONG?)

gekka no yasoukyoku - malice mizer (cw: not english) (THIS GOES SOOOO HARD its literally. so good. i try to avoid reccing songs not in english but this is too good to not)

cipher peon battle - pokemon colosseum (it makes me feel epic lol)

overrated but i love them

little dark age - mgmt (i literally make amvs in my head about re2 leon in my car while listening to this song i am obsessed. Obsessed.)

wasted summers - juju<3 (fuck ppl who hate on this honestly like can ppl not have fun with music? let indie musicians have fun !! hes literally making a song with his sister thats the sweetest shit ever!!!!!!!!!! also honestly this song kinda hurts if u relate ngl pookie)

rhinestone eyes - gorillaz (iykyk,, that edit introduced me to this song but it FUCKS !!)

take me to church - hozier (look. -foams at mouth- thats all.)

mary on a cross - ghost

idk where to categorize these :v

the wolf - siames (I LOVE THIS THE EVERYTHING THE ANIMATION THE DOGGIE !!! woof woof)

can't get you out of my head - kylie minogue

better off alone - alice deejay

hypnocurrency - deadmau5

gyrate - rezz

j-boy - phoenix

credits song for my death - vivivivivi

i would do anything for you - foster the people (i ALMOST put this in faves bc god i am,, obsessed w this song but, i feel like its bully material so.)

sit next to me - foster the people

the sweet escape - gwen stefani (look i always loved this song, but i have a leon edit of this song saved to my phone and i watch it Daily)

my love - justin timberlake (me and leon. i also have a leon edit to this i watch daily.)

bloody mary - lady gaga

you like early 2000s type music? cringe? this is for u bbg

(cw: cringe, ravey)

pretty rave girl - s3rl (PLSLSSSS I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCHH GRRHHRGRRHHGHHDHDGSGDFSDFGGFHSD)

blame you - romanceplanet

bleed (runaway) - romanceplanet

lollipop (candyman) - aqua

ok this is stupid but im ngl im putting songs that make me think of leon in some way here (considering making my own playlist of stuff for him lmk if my taste is good enough boo ;* /j)

with you - linkin park (!!!!cw: yelling. (im including this bc i just want to say leon would fucking love this song. id make out with and grind on him at a house party to this song,, that is all). the yelling isnt super loud but the music is screechy during the parts so it might make u uncomfy? be safe if u listen boo, its alil on the harder side of songs)

cure for the itch - linkin park (cw: the beginning has a brief moment where theres a loud announcer? other than that this fucks, goes HARD.)

under the bridge - red hot chili peppers (WHEN I WAS LOOKING FOR,,, ROCK AND GRUNGE TO LISTEN TO bc i am obsessed with leon ehehe THIS SONG LATCHED ONTO MY BRAINSTEM,,,,,,thinking ab holding his hand while this plays on our mixtape while we drive to our coffeeshop date in raccoon city,,.,,,,u//w//u)

smells like teen spirit - nirvana (!!cw: screamy? i think? i cant tell if im desensitized to screaming in music or sm LMFAO its a song i scream when i sing it tho so) (also i KNOW this is a generic pick but it goes so hard!!!!!!!!!!!! leon Literally listens to this like its just canon)

talking in your sleep - the romantics (baby im so sorry i cant explain this one i also want to fuck michael afton and thats bleeding into my lust for leon)

no friend of mine - aimless device (THIS IS SO GOOD I WISH IT WAS MORE POPULAR)

hyena - aimless device

nobody's real - powerman 5000 (cw: its a lil bit hard of a song) (i cant explain this honestly leon would just listen to powerman and this would be his fave)

i'm not in love - 10cc (look look here ok listen to my vision. leon trying to convince himself hes not actually head over heels for you. i think its cuter with re2 leon hehe hes so cutie pookie BUT. [im not personally into aeon But..] PLEASE imagine him just laying in bed listening to this because hes still hurt over ada but hes falling so hard and fast for you. and hes scared. TERRIFIED even, <3 dont worry babyboy ill treat you so well)

yellow - coldplay

the scientist - coldplay

always in my head - coldplay (ok look i tried really hard to not put in so many coldplay songs but, listen. coldplay just feels so fucking aeon for you aeon enjoyers)

sweetest goodbye - maroon 5

sunday morning - maroon 5

my console - eiffle 65 (look. its Funny.)

separate ways (worlds apart) - journey

away from the sun - 3 doors down

here without you - 3 doors down

my precious - lifehouse

hanging by a moment - lifehouse

last child - aerosmith

jaded - aerosmith

turn up the radio - autograph

lullaby - the cure

last kiss - pearl jam (cw: kinda descriptive singing about the scenario of a loved one dying, brief mentions of religion) (he wouldnt relate to this song at all but i KNOW mans would cry to it)

(i could dig up more for this section but baby i do not wanna bore you with retro songs)

actually fuck i could put so many more songs period but this is probably already a 5 hr playlist atp eheh sorry

if u want i could make an actual playlist if u ACTUALLY wanna listen to ts so its not such a pain going thru dhjksdfhgsdkg (tho theres a few songs that arent on spotty bc its stinky :( )

🐕

the most hilarious part about this is that the only song on this gigantic list that i recognize is don’t go insane BUT NOT EVEN BECAUSE OF LEON i just like dpr ian he’s so pretty :3

also i think ill be able to put them into a playlist myself !! dw i don’t wanna make u go through the effort!! i shall attempt to listen to everything!!

[nyoomsy]

IS PARADOX LIVE THE ANIMATION GOING TO BE THE CATALYST THAT BRINGS ME BACK TO TUMBLR?????

i usually blab about these things with my irl friends but they don’t share my interests and i’m starting to fear i’m being too annoying 💀 SO. i figured i should return to the place where i used to be annoying about the things i like~

i don’t plan on making more ranty posts like this, i’ll just mainly be reblogging and quietly annoying in notes (my beloved feature of this site) i just wanted to give a fair warning and kinda explain myself with a bit of ranting heehee. sorry in advance 🫶

i’ve been a (casual? semi-casual??) fan since the time in-between JUSTICE and PRIDE and just seeing how much this franchise has grown just makes me so EMOTIONAL!!!

episode 1 made me F E R A L .

I REALLY WASNT EXPECTING SUCH GOOD QUALITY. AND 3D MODELS???? I WAS SCREAMING AND CRYING AND PAUSING AND REWINDING SO MUCHHH.

THE SOUNDTRACK. THE REFERENCES. THE FORESHADOWING. THE P A I N . THAT ONE KANATA FRAME LIKE FUCK OFFFF (im far behind in the drama so idk the exact situation bUT STILL.) AND POOR SHIKIIIII :((((((((((((

i couldn’t help but freak out and feel petty with all the BURAIKAN stuff tho, like we knew so little about them and now there’s so many bits about them thrown in episode one 🫠 gahhh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

quick info about my relationship with the franchise incase whoever reads this is also into it (<-just an excuse to be more annoying since i’m already talking about it and have never done so publicly because i do acknowledge it has its issues)

• i keep up with the music releases but as stated i’m behind in the drama (last thing i listened to was VIBES part 1. i plan to catch up before the anime surpasses that point)

• i don’t vote cause collecting points seems like a hassle really (although i feel regret when the group i’m rooting for looses haha 🥲) (i tend to root for the songs i like better/fits the theme best)

• i’m a seiyuu fan and that highly contributed to me getting into paradox live. also the fact there’s utaite involved of course. (AmBitious!!! was my gateway and slowly realizing Murase Ayumu and 96Neko were singing together blew my MIND!!!) (pararai is also responsible for opening my eyes to Kajiwara Gakuto’s appeal hehehe)

• favorite group: BAE (if you couldn’t tell from the above) but as the groups and characters evolved i’ve come to love them all fairly equally (except a few which you could probably guess💀)

• favorite song by each group:

BAE - EmBlem!!! TCW - Shooting Arrows cozmez - Hit em up (i guess? i dont have a clear czmz fav) AKYR - ROWDIEZ -悪漢奴等 Wanted Vibes- BURAIKAN - BURAIKAN is Back VISTY - BE A STAR AMPRULE - Do as I say 1Nm8 - S∀G∀ (honorable mention: Itsuki’s 2nd part in BOH) GokuLuck - Trigger (Ryoga and Kenta’s parts win me over)

• songs i must mention: F△Bulous, BErmud△ Tri△nglE, Mercy On Me, Life is Beautiful, My Sweetest Love, The Sound of Voltage (stopping myself here before i list the whole discography)

• i watched the 1st stage play to fill the void of the inaccessible first Dope Show and i also watched the BAE & TCW show (for Kiyama Ryu) but that’s it… (maybe i’ll return if Takenaka Ryohei is casted in a 2nd gen group 👀) Fight For The PRIDE and Here We Go are certified bangers though

• i watched Dope Show 2 and 3 but cried hard over 3 i bought the night show but then i found out the matinee setlist had Shooting Arrows 😭😭😭 (if they do a 4th and decide to free stream 3 like they did 2 i PRAY it’s the matinee show 🙏 I WANNA SEE TERASHIMA JUNTA SHINE AS SHIKI. for 4 i’ll wait to see the setlist before buying a ticket)

OKAY BYE.

[akkivee]

i did something similar last year but who cares about rehashing answers ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

1) i actually posted about it lol but i say my hypmic anniversary is when death respect came out!!! i got into around that time when a third jp merch site i used to shop at had a listing for bbmtc patches and yamada ichiro’s patch was the cutest thing i had ever seen lmao

2) besides ichiro’s face lol i listened to dba and was sold

3) hm!! i think it tracks with other stuff i obsess with!!! there’s characters with depth, finding bonds with each other/being found family, with a healthy dose of action!!!! the fact it’s told thru music is a plus; the fandoms i hung around longest in the past utilised character songs to supplement their character and i lost my mind then much similarly to the way i do now lol

4) i didn’t have a negative opinion on anybody the moment they appeared actually!!!! (except for rei lol but that was because he was disrespecting ichijiku and not for his crimes as a deadbeat dad lol) obvs the ones who stood out were ichiro, then jakurai, and then kuukou lol

5) ichiro!!!! ❤️

6) mtc and rei actually!!!! like mtc was my least favourite division when it was just the og divisions!!!! ‘somebody gotta do it’ and ‘don’t play no game that i can’t win’ dropped and that’s when my opinion of them changed but i’m not sure when i became significantly less normal about them lol 🤔 as for rei, i had a negative opinion from the get go and being bb’s father certainly didn’t help, but then i used my brain and embraced his mystery and his clowniness lol

7) buster bros in the house still number one☝️

8) i went from being a natural ichiro enjoyer, to a ‘not so normal’ jakurai liker, to a ‘i need him to breathe’ kuukou stan lol

9) dba!!!! and like a loser too lol i really did mean to listen to all the songs in order 💀

10) fav solo is break the wall but we’ll see how i’m feeling after year with nagosaka’s new solos hitoya and sasara’s are some real contenders lol

11) kaigen 😭😭😭😭😭😭

12) BATTLE OF PRIDE IS SO GOOD YALL

13) i’m assuming this is manga release songs and i really like rip, double trouble and murder in the house of magic lol

14) a toss up between hoodstar➕ and summit of divisions lol

15) are there any really lol???? i don’t interact with the fandom enough to know if there are songs that are universally considered mid or worse lol lemme know if there are

16) BAD ASS TEMPLE ONLY KNOWS HOW TO PUT OUT BANGER AFTER BANGER LOL

17) ichiro dice and sasara!!!!!!

18) honestly the better question is who don’t i listen to lol. i try to listen to the composers works when their collaborations are announced!!

19) i have been praying for queen bee/avu-chan to write something for kuukou, and i hope that when if we get solos for the ladies, goddess artist eill writes for honobono because i’m ready for this godawful woman to have the best j-hiphop song in this franchise LOL

20) i can’t remember if it was batfs or moonlight shadow that i was on the screen while my mom was home but she thought it was a jam so probably a bat song tbh

21) i have demoted myself to arb enjoyer from a distance lol 😭😭😭

22) shit arb’s been keeping me satisfied like all hell lmao!!!!! arb should give me an event with samatoki kuukou and juto tho lmao but oooooooh what if we got events with the mixed up divisions??? that’d be dope 😲

23) HAHA yeah i’m a huge multishipper. there are very few ships i don’t like, and my shipping bicycles have been both jakurai and samatoki, but you can easily flay me alive with ichikuu and riodice crumbs and i’ll break down thank you lmao

24) i’m not a self insert kinda person lol

25) since i’m introverted i’d probably get along best with someone like ichiro or jakurai. i can only love kuukou from a far i don’t think i could handle him lmao

26) no i’m not a kinnie lmao but i’m probably like a mashup between ramuda and jyushi with a dash of jakurai’s general dilf dad friend attitude, what ever that monstrosity would look like as a character lmao

27) *drowning in hypmic merch* i have some :) lol and I REALLY WANTED THAT BAT TOTE BAG I WISH I KNEW IT EXISTED BEFORE LAST WEEK 😭😭😭

28) it’s not weird, i just want a large figurine of kuukou like the ones we got for rhyme anima 😭 he’ll probably look ugly but that’s okay he’s my gremlin scrunkly 😌

29) vocaloid collab??? a different mobage collab??? like idk what if ainana and hypmic collabed we could get the fattest spiderman pointing meme going on lol

30) i think there is a lot of empty air in between the 6 colours and mixed up tracks like how okay is samatoki and ramuda’s relationship really??? ramuda didn’t sound too enthused by jakurai’s desire to help even in the fling posse inc track. if chuuoku intends to use sasasama and ichikuu against each other i would like to see them really rekindle that friendship!!! and more of the mixed up divisions 🤭

31) i understand if rei’s not your cup of tea lol but he is a lot of fun lol. rosho tends to get slept on a lot in the sense that he’s kinda just sasara’s man, but only that and it kinda sucks a little lol. also!!!! if rio and hitoya have millions of numbers of fans i am one of them. if rio and hitoya have ten fans i am one of them. if rio and hitoya have only one fan that is me. if rio and hitoya have no fans, that means i am no longer—

32) THIS IS LIKE ASKING WHY DO WE NEED THE SUN TO SUSTAIN LIFE I JUST LOVE KUUKOU DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED LOL

33) hmmmmm how about: tho kuukou isn’t afraid of ghosts, when he was much younger, on a trip to the beach with his family, he saw all of the dead souls that the ocean has claimed reaching out to him as if to pull him into the ocean and claim him. so some of that fear comes from a bad supernatural childhood experience

34) liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike nemu?????? nemu???????? nemu??????????????? i also have taken unami and ren as lowkey ocs and supplanted personalities that are very self indulging to what i want for kuukou lol

35) bat has everything i don’t have packaged with everything that i love and it’s so dope like wtf??? wtf????

36) idk which hypster magazine it was but one of the magazines asked the characters what’s something they’ve been into lately. jyushi answered with muscle training and it’s 💯% because on a hot and sunny day, where kuukou quite frequently used his shirt to wipe up the sweat from his face and hitoya sweated thru both his undershirt and dress shirt, he was exposed kuukou’s abs and hitoya’s surprisingly fit body and thought to himself, ‘god i wish that were me’ lmao

37) i don’t want any new divisions at all but if we were to get some, i’d hope they’d be from okinawa, hokkaido or kyoto

38) i cyberstalk hayama-san as best as i can lol and i watch sakakihara-san, takeuchi-san, and iwasaki-san’s web shows occasionally!!!! i also poke around whatever mtc’s seiyuu are doing every once in a while 🤗

39) watching the hyprice grow to hypmic music has been very enlightening lmao

40) i’m still pretty proud i pumped out a whole month worth of kuukou art for his bday lol. also the fanart i just posted for bat solos might be some of my best stuff actually like how did i do that kuukou one fr

41) i prefer the manga/drama tracks, but the stage’s phenomenal writing will always have me in a vice grip lol

42) i’m banking on ‘if we hesitate etc’ being the most emotionally draining experience that canon will ever put me thru because if because if bat goes thru something like that i may never recover actually lmao

43) i feel like i’m an observer rather than a theorist??? but i made an observation that bat has a weathering the storm motif a while back from their speakers and mics and hitoya wound up stating just that in cross a line so that made me feel pretty accomplished lol

44) I WANT TO SEE THE FALL OUTS!!!!!!! HOW DID KUUKOU AND SASARA DEAL WITH THEIR SUDDEN SEPARATION AND HOW THEY SNAPPED OUT OF THEIR HYPNOSIS!!!!!!!! RAMUDA PICKING HIMSELF UP FROM JAKURAI DISAPPOINTING HIM!!!!!!!!!!! MORE OF THAT PLS!!!!!

45) nobody irl but to all of those who sent me asks/dms, know that i appreciate it and i would k—

46) fck the drbs but also it’d be nice if bb or mtc won but also kuukou would look 🥵 on a throne soooooo

47) idk if anyone in this cast is considering the ramifications of taking over/overthrowing the government. i think it’d be neat to see a 2nd gen hypmic with new divisions scrambling to survive the power vacuum our gen has caused and the og gen has effectively become the antagonists to the 2nd gen. it’d be like a cycle!!!! otome took over the government for more altruistic reasons but is as oppressive as her predecessor; same hat, og gen overthrew the government for the good of all but didn’t have any plans to fix it, only to remove and creates even more discord

48) comfort???? a fandom home????? massive brainrot????? pick your poison lol

49) save your wallets and don’t lol the characters are fun!!!! the music can be a gateway to something you’ve never experienced!!!!!! you can lose hours of your life trying to find the details!!!!!!!!! it’s fun!!!!!!! 😄

50) lol i have a tattoo, that’s plenty reminder ✌️

[matchamabs]

I know you didn’t ask for it but- BOTW MONSTERS: RANKED BY HOW HOT THEY ARE,,,,

i do fuck all in the days lemme tell ya

ill admit i havent done EVERY enemy but like. i do enjoy making these posts so who knows, i might actually rank everything sooner or later 🤷‍♀️

,,,,, and if u want a specific ranking of botw/aoc stuff lmk 👀

ahh the ol reliable. the classic bokoblin. he is just a little lad! unfortunately they’re genuinely kind of ugly??? and the idk the singular horn in the middle aint a good look. i see cute comics abt these guys being domestic and thats adorable but also giving them so much leeway bc they’re really Not that cute. not sure what the loincloth is hiding and im not sure i wanna know anyway. 3/10 really kind of. not good. 

slightly bigger loincloth only means slightly bigger things to hide :( i rlly hate these guys noses and whatever the fuck toenails they have why do they have toenails?????? s’bad. the thing is tho they have the proportions of a potentially attractive gerudo which is probably what takes the edge off the general vibes of... u know... being an abomination. its also only JUST occured to me as im writing that these guys r just evolved bokoblins so. glow up i guess. 6/10 what that tongue do

ok bypassing whatever the fuck rule 34 has done to these guys, i actually dig them. i find the huge fat ones way cuter than the lil bug eyed ones. in their case theres rlly no, like... hotness about them. its just cute. i think they’re cute. any monster that is cute and also doubles up as a bed gets my vote 7/10 get urself a fella as flexible as these guys 

u know what, im gonna say it, these guys r actually kinda hot. proportions arent super bad, the face aint bad and generally they have good vibes. aside from, u know, when they’re tryna shank u. id say one of the most bearable monsters to have to look at. 8/10 im not a scalie

??????????? idk what to say. u could tie these little shits to like swingball poles and beat them with rackets thatd b good. aside from that these guys have like no redeeming qualities. they’re a pain in the ass and not in a good way. 3/10 cute but like. is it worth it?

i mean,,,,,,,, someones probably into it. i dont like these guys for a lot of reason and surprisingly the thing that gets me is the fucking hair why does it have that hair its like he-man just went straight over the top with an electric razor its not a good look!!! stop trying to make it work! it wont! and again with the loincloth??? im not into it. the only thing i like abt these guys is the lil waistcoats. they have some amount of decency (but the implications it makes are Not Good). uh. 2/10. barely.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,,,,,9/10. but if you see a lynel up close like that chances are you died about half a minute ago

again. ??? i dont rlly like. i mean. im digging the top heavy proportions? its got the same body type as kass so like. 4/10. bit plain around the features but what can u do. i dont understand how but the igneo taluses are like. sexier 

UGHGHHH I FUCKING HATE THESE THINGS okay okay okay like these motherfuckers lure u in by being quite cute and dancin around and then u get a look at their faces and its like fucking JESUS and its even WORSE when you see under their cloak and they have no necks????? and like????? they do that gay little fucking dance that pisses me off???? they’re wearing hoods that give the ILLUSION that they have necks and im im fumin ok i HATE it i hate it i have been betrayed and i will NEVER FORGET ABOUT IT UGHGHGHG I HATE THESE CUNTS -10000000000000000000000000000000000/10 die

hhhhh i just dont like em. theyre too annoying to be cute now. and whats gonna happen if i squeeze one? is like. water gonna come out? r they just gonna deflate? 4/10 tentacles are not hyrules forte it seems ://

trust kohga to send the twinks out on the front line. seriously. they’re not bad tho? kinda small and underwhelming :((( tho i give extra points for the good crazy laugh we love a good manic cackle 6/10 they dont really count as monsters but ah well where else am i gonna put em

now THATS what im talkin about babeyyyyy we love the muscles,,,,, the posture,,, the stride,,, we love it when u fuck up stealth and a torrential downpour of these motherfuckers come down to beat ur ass,,,,, 9/10 its raining men 😎

u know. u dont rlly like. get a good view of these guys when ur balls deep in a battle with them, but the more i get like closer looks at them the more i go ???? like idk. everything about them looks backwards and wrong. but as far as backwards and wrong goes its not a bad look and the boss theme is a banger so 4/10 maybe dont jump on my ass every time i step one foot onto the desert :/

i just. i dont dig it. idk why. aside from the fact they’re a monumental pain in my ass, and now everytime i hear a beep even slightly resembling a guardian i shit my pants, but. idk??? as far as robots go its not like. terrible. they’re like the milfs of robots. the milves, if u will. a rilf. except i wouldnt. so its more like riwlf. but even that leaves too much up to interpretation so im just gonna call em a cunt and go. 4/10 leg game strong

here we are,,, the big boys,,,, waterblight isnt too bad i will admit, but the spear hand is both annoying and mildly inconvenient. its got a rlly big chest but rlly thin arms?? also not sure how i feel abt the strap on beard but oh well its not like ganons got taste. 5/10 kind of average for a blight i think

a hefty motherfucker. a chunk of a lad. big large. the fact this is like one of the easiest blights makes it more forgiveable to me but like whatever its got going on with the 80s hair needs 2 be sorted out. i like its moves but it doesnt hang upside down like waterblight :((( 5/10 calm down kate bush

ok who doesnt like gun arms. and a gun back. this things like fuckin megatron. the whole face plate thing doesnt look bad either. honestly its kind of a look? but its dickheadery in aoc makes me wanna set shit on fire so :// 6/10 hot but will not leave u alone 😔

ok this one is by FAR the sexiest of all the blights. i just cant explain it. i like guys with bad posture. i had an easy time beating it but apparently its given other people a lot of grief and that makes it 10x more sexy to me lmaooo. also it can clone itself which is like. thats a win. 8/10 ganon spilt all the sexy juice into this one

ok i didnt realise how many arms this motherfucker has and the whole hairline behind the ears thing is not a great look. especially w the beard. in fact the longer i look at it the less sexy it becomes tbh. 3/10 they tried to make arachnophobia sexy and it didnt work

10/10 i will be taking questions in my inbox but i wont be taking constructive criticism and you cant make me 

[theanticool]

My Most Anticipated Fights of March 2022

I actually wrote this list out at work and just forgot to post it. Just in time for the first big fights of March tho. Good thing too cause a few fights have already fell apart. Warning - this is a ONE Championship heavy list.

Superbon vs Marat Grigorian - ONE X (March 26) - Marat kind of back doors his way into a title fight after getting hurt and missing his semifinal against Chingiz, but this is still an amazing kickboxing bout. Superbon is coming off one of the biggest singular wins in kickboxing history with his KO of Giorgio Petrosyan. Marat has looked fantastic since he finally beat Sittichai. How can you not love this fight?

John Lineker vs Bibiano Fernandes - ONE: Lights Out (March 11) - this is a fight I never dreamed we’d get 5 years ago but now it’s one of the fights I most want to see. Crazy styles clash. Should be great. Hopefully it happens cause I’m pretty sure this is the 3rd time it has been booked.

Nong-O Gaiyanghadao vs Alaverdi Ramazanov - ONE X (March 26) - this fight is so high cause I’m just excited to see Nong-O again. Ramazanov is a good really good fighter but I haven’t seen Nong-O fight in forever and he’s so good and fun to watch.

Askar Askarov vs Kai Kara-France - UFC Fight Night (March 26) - Yeah, this is the best fight from the UFC this month imo. A proper #1 contender’s bout with two guys coming off huge wins over JoeB and Cody Garbrandt. Both hit hard as crap and can push a pace. Should be fantastic if KKF can’t stay off his back.

Artem Vakhitov vs Luis Tavares - Glory 80 (March 20) - a LHW title fight from Glory. I like Vakhitov despite others complaints about his style of fighting and what I’ve seen from Tavares (not a lot) has been pretty damn good. Excited to see how this shakes out in the ring.

Roman “Chocolatito” Gonzalez vs Julio Cesar Martinez - March 5 - the original fight was Chocolatito vs El Gallo 3 and that was my #1 anticipated fight of this year. Unfortunately, Gallo got the covid but I think we got a solid replacement. Martinez was a beast down at flyweight and was planning to move up for a big fight eventually. Now he’s got his shot. And considering how Jesse Rodriguez and Fernando Martinez have come thru in ‘22 to grab gold at super fly from two big time players like Cuadras and Ancajas, nothing should be taken for granted.

Marina Rodriguez vs Xaionan Yan - UFC 272 (March 5) - Probably a curveball to those of you who don’t know me. Rodriguez vs Yan is just a fantastic striking affair. Both were on great runs outside of a hiccup vs Carla Esparza. Both could put their names back in title contention with a win. And Marina’s aggressive style should make this one an intense fight.

Demetrious Johnson vs Rodtang (mixed rules) - ONE X (March 26) - another surprise. Cause it’s so low. I’m not opposed to weirdo special rules match-ups but I prefer it in fights where dudes are obvious specialist. DJ is good everywhere. This is not Aoki vs Nagashima. Still DJ is my fav and Rodtang is as exciting as anyone in combat sports. Can’t not be interested, you know?

Alex Caceres vs Sodiq Yusuff - UFC FN (March 12) - I just like this match up. Bruce Leeroy is a on a run against young but talented fighters and Yusuff checks those boxes. It’s a win Yusuff needs if he wants to show he’s still a burgeoning contender. Good match making.

Adriano Moraes vs Yuya Wakamatsu - ONE X (March 26) - it’s time we all put some respect on Moraes’ name. Dude is phenomenal. He’s coming off that huge win over DJ. And Wakamatsu is a fun fighter who’s finally putting it together. It’s what you want in a good title fight.

Some honorable mentions

Alex Pereira vs Bruno Silva - UFC FN (Mar 12) - Pereira is an elite kickboxer and Silva is a banger. We know how this goes and I’m looking forward to it.

Mike Grundy vs Makwan Amirkhani - UFC FN (March 12) - Grundy is a great wrestler and so is Amirkhani. Expecting five minutes is scrambly chaos to start this one.

Mads Burnell vs Adam Borics - Bellator 276 (March 11) - if Borics was a better defensive grappler, this would be higher.

Thiago Silva vs Magomed Ankalaev - UFC FN (March 12) - I don’t think this one is happening and I have some questions about Silva that have stopped me from investing heavily into this one, but has huge violence potential.

Angela Lee vs Stamp Fairtex - ONE X (March 26) - an earned fight on Stamp’s part but I can’t imagine she’s able to stop Stamp from subbing her. That’s why I didn’t have it in top 10. Hoping it’s competitive though.

Capitan vs Hiroki Akimoto - ONE X (March 26) - don’t know enough about Akimoto to put this higher but Capitan is a STUD. Watch him fight folks. My #11 if I had to pick.

Tiffany Van Soest vs Manazo Kobayashi - Glory 80 (March 19) - I don’t see this being competitive but I love the effort to go to another promotion to try to find a challenger for TVS. Kobayashi is good but the size is concerning.

Jessica Nery Plata vs Yesica Bopp - March 11 - not convinced Bopp is still an elite fighter but definitely a fight that’s going to tell us if that’s the case as Plata is still one.

NCAA Wrestling Championships - March 17-19 - I don’t follow college wrestling but I make the effort to tune into the championships every year because they are always some of the most entertaining combat sports I watch all year. Just crazy athletics on display.

What fights this month are you all anticipating for March?

[theannoyingmosquitoinyourroom]

FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO READIM THIS :)))))

(okay i read it and) ANOTHER FUCKING BANGER!!!!! GOD THE PACING ON THIS ONE IS GREAT!!! and i love carlos' and kethelyn's friendship theyre so !!!!!!!!!!!

MAN UR WRITING IS SO DELISH :3

(liveblog under the cut)

“This could work…. in theory” I SMELL SHENANIGANS BOUTTA HAPPEN

"I woudn't endanger myself for a job that it's not even paid" real. so real of you, medium

ooh i wonder what a pix is

10'000 sounds like a lot. good for the medium tho

"kethelyn accepted the first internship that came her way without hesitating, realizing too late it was an unpaid one" oof bbg im sorry

"Fuck it, we ball" YESSS THATS THE ATTITUDE >:3

CARLOS MENTION!!!! AYOO HIYA CARLOS MY BUD!!!!!!!!

honestly its so real of carlos to take demonology (it sounds like a blast) (the whole fucking uni sounds like a blast i kinda wanna go there :( )

"He cheated." damn carlos maybe dont cheat on ur gf before discussing it with her first or smth. were you at least honest about it after it happened??

"He cheated in a game of uno" BHAHAHAHHA I TOOK THE PREVIOUS SENTENCE WAY TOO SERIOUSLY IM DYING SHJBVKJHBDVJHSBF

tsk tsk he shuffled the cards so liz would win 😒 (/lh) (also liz mention 🔥🔥 (i am aware all these little stories lowkey interconnect but that wont stop me from going "oh i know that person!!" every time i know that person >:3 ))

pffffft carlos afraid of ghosts

oof alice bbg im sorry ur fam was homophobic :((((

"but the scare was too much for Alice, she had a heart attack, dying before even starting the ritual" man thats fucking rough

"she's as stubborn as a mule" what was that about lesbians in love?? /nsrs

"get in loser, we're summoning the devil" grrrr the urge to pull out the fucking meme pic and poorly photoshop it to say that

"'Boo' the ghost mocked him in the deep voice of the possessed 'still afraid, scaredy cat?'" why are you bullying him he only cheated at uno :((((((( (cheating at uno the highest crime ofc but we dont mention that /j)

"Kethelyn had a lot of expectations about the devil, but she wasn't expecting that. A white man, bals, wearing a polo shirt and the most hideous goatee. Hadn't Lucifer been the most beautiful angel in heaven? What a glow down. Disappointing" LMAOOOO HES NOT OUT FOR EVEN TEN SECONDS BEFORE SHE STARTS ROASTING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM KJBKJVBDSKHVBFD

also i strongly agree with the terrible goatee. the devil would really be the one to have smth like that. its in The Vibes. (also for some reason i keep picturing he devil as ira steven behr 😭😭 (the looks match up (sorry ira, your goatee is really slay and iconic (but also kinda ugly in certain lighting/ pictures ngl) (okay but imo ira's style is actually really fucking cool + i like his vibe))))

"he stretched the last word like he was RuPaul" JAKSVBKJDSAVB

"The devil wanted Kethelyn" Oh No Oh No OH NO OH NO

i love all the different names for satan u use in the story

"'Well I wasn't called here for nothing' His facade fell, the warm voice gave way to a cold, cruel tone" OOOH I LOVE THE CHANGE

"'Lucifer Morningstar, I challenge you to a duel!' Carlos wanted to tear out his own eyes, Lucifer grinned" OH????? WE GOT DUELS GOING ON???????? :))))))))))

"From outside the barrier, Carlos was jumping, shaking his head, making an 'x' with his arms, and mouthing 'nooooooo'." CARLOS IS ONE SKRUNKLY MOTHERFUCKER i wanna shake him like a bottle of juice :3 /aff

OHOHOHOHO!!!!!!! UNO DUEL LESGOOOO

the most dangerous game of all: uno /ref (that one post thats like: "i have brought you here to play the most dangerous game of them all" "*nods solemnly* knife monopoly" "... i was about to hunt you for sport but now im more interested in what knife monopoly is")

"The two had met before, college projects can take you to unusual paces, huh?" honestly so real

woah this is the most intense game of uno i have read but the pacing of it is soooo good you can feel the tension in the air, the risk of playing, the stakes

OMG YESSSS CARLOS,,,,,, CHEAT!!!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU

YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY ENOUGH TO PULL IT OFF!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT THEY DID IT!!!!! damn that was some intense fucking writing, kudos to you, nanda, it was really fucking well done :)))))

College girl sells soul to pay rent (not clickbait)

“So… your last wish is to make a deal with the devil?”

The ghostly woman nodded.

“It won't be possible, look, you need a physical body to perform this type of ritual,” said the medium “and I can't do it for you, because if I did, it would be my soul on sale.”

What if I possess you?

The spirit's voice echoed, the candles in the small clamped room in which the medium worked began to shake, transforming the trinkets scattered around the room into frightening dancing images. This could work… in theory.

“Not going to happen. Possessions are expressly prohibited on University internships. And honestly?” she added “I wouldn't endanger myself for a job that’s not even paid.”

I can pay.

The human raised one of her eyebrows. The candle flames flickered intensely, the ghost was desperate.

“Pay? Sorry, but we don't accept drachmas or whatever currency ghosts use, only cash or pix.”

She was joking, of course. What she didn't expect was the disembodied woman's response.

What's the key?

“Excuse me?”

Your pix, what is the key?

It wouldn't be possible that...?

Is ten thousand enough? Half now, half later.

It's worth a try, isn't it?

The medium shared her key. A few minutes later, she received the following message:

“Bank: Your pix has been received! Vellota ltd. sent you 5.000 reais”

Along with several confused emails by Grandma Vellota.

Looks like someone wouldn't have to worry about rent for a long time.

Kethelyn Correia — 21 years old, necromancy student at the Brazilian Federal University of Mystic Arts — is a medium in desperate need of additional hours for college and money. Kethelyn accepted the first internship that came her way without hesitating, realizing too late it was an unpaid one. Fuck it, we ball.

After months of late rent, days and nights on ramen noodles and various odd jobs to try to survive, selling a soul to the devil didn't seem like a bad idea. Anything was better than going back to her parents' house.

And that's how she ended up, three days later, on Carlos' — a college friend, master's student in demonology and ex-boyfriend — terrace at 2:30am on a Wednesday.

It was a nice evening, the sea nearby brought them a salty breeze, refreshing the warm summer night. The street lights were very close, illuminating the terrace together with the candles, revealing the unceremoniously dragged mess at the corners of the terrace. Carlos said they needed as much space as possible, the chalk circle in the middle of the terrace was the only clean space there.

“Okay, everything’s ready” said Carlos “candles lit, circles drawn, incense burning. Has she memorized the chants?”

Kethelyn nodded, they had practiced on this part together.

Carlos blew out the last match, looking around nervously. His eyes looked big behind the thick glasses he wore, his curly hair dancing with the breeze.

“Great, but seriously, this ghost couldn't have chosen a simpler invocation? Why go full catholic? There’s so many easier options…”

“Her name is Alice, I don't know about the choice for the ritual, but… thank you. Seriously. You didn't need to do all that.”

Kethelyn was being sincere. When she asked for her help, she expected at most a borrowed grimoire and some tips on how to not die.

“No problem, ha,” he replied, hands on his nape “it's the least I can do after that mistake I made.”

The “mistake” in question was the trigger for the end of their relationship. He cheated.

He cheated in a game of uno, shuffling the cards in a way that gave his friend — some 19 year old snake kid he befriended while traveling abroad — the advantage, causing Kethelyn to lose a bet.

“Ah, yes” She sighed, Alice's spirit approached floating upside down.

Hm? Share the tea, sis.

“Mind your own business.”

Rude.

“She’s here?” Carlos asked, shaking hands making the sign of the cross.

“I still can't believe that you work with literal demons, but are afraid of ghosts.” She laughed, “obviously she’s here, she's the one who's going to make the pact, duh.”

“Oh, my saint” Carlos sighed, repeating the sign “You how much of a bad idea this is, don't you?” he spoke gravely “After all, why does she want this? She's already dead!”

“It's quite a story…”

***

Alice Vellota was a young lady from a rich family, you see, her parents were rich, her grandparents were rich, her great-grandparents were rich and so on.

Alice had everything she could want, except the person she loved.

Coming from an extremely Catholic family, it is not surprising that her love for Maria Eduarda, a college friend, was a big scandal. Her parents threatened to disown her if she pursued her love, all empty threats of course. Fortunately, nothing can stop lesbians in love, not homophobic parents, not even death.

But when Maria Eduarda suddenly passed away, Alice was devastated. Her only consolation was the possibility of meeting in the afterlife. She knew Maria Eduarda would be somewhere in hell — she was a Satanist after all — she hadn't gone to heaven! But, she thought, hell is huge... how can I find her among so many people? So, she decided to solve this problem in the most logical way possible, selling her soul.

I'm already going to hell, at least I can ask to be close to her.

The plan was perfect. She home alone and everything was set, she just had to sing the chants and…

A window broke next to her and figures started to circulate around the apartment with loud wailing sounds. It was just the neighborhood kids playing football, but the scare was too much for Alice, she had a heart attack, dying before even starting the ritual.

***

“So, here's the problem. She's supposed to be in heaven now. “Kethelyn explained “technically she didn't make any pact, but the desire to join her girlfriend keeps her on this plane.”

“Why didn't you try… I don't know” Carlos shrugged “convincing her not to go to hell?”

“I tried, believe me.” Kethelyn's eyes were dead-serious “she's as stubborn as a mule.”

“Oh my saint, give me strength…”

“If everything is ready, let's begin.” The necromancer looked at Alice's ghost and signaled her to come “Get in loser, we’re summoning the devil.”

Suddenly, the coastal breeze refreshing the dawn stopped, the candle flames flickered without wind, Kethelyn bent over her stomach, the lights from the nearby street lights went mad. Carlos looked apprehensive when suddenly everything just… stopped.

The breeze, candles and the street lights returned to normal, only Kethelyn remained in the same position.

“Kethelyn? Are you okay?” Carlos asked worriedly. He was about to touch her on the shoulder when she straightened herself on a whim, her curly hair covering half her face, a smile weirdly wide creeping through her face.

“Boo” the ghost mocked him in the deep voice of the possessed, “still afraid, scaredy cat?”

Kethelyn saw everything in third perspective, she saw her mocking smile and Carlos' pale face. It was a funny feeling floating around, was that how her customers felt all the time?

She wanted to tell them both to start straight away, but she had difficulty vocalizing her thoughts, she didn't have a mouth after all. How did Alice do it? In any case, she didn't need to do anything. She saw her body go to the center of the circle, Carlos raised the barrier and sat on top of an old freezer away from the circle, she — or rather — Alice started singing the memorized chants.

As electrifying as a ritual to summon the bad thing itself may seem, it's pretty boring when you're just a spectator. Kethelyn spent the next 15 minutes bored to death — hah! — she passed her time enjoying her choice of outfit for the night, a pair of pink cargo pants and a matching tight crop top — what? You have to look stylish when you're going to meet someone famous, even if it's the devil.

Suddenly, a strong smell of sulfur filled the air and an unnatural fog began to rise inside the terrace. From within the fog lights glowed like flames.

There he was.

***

Kethelyn had a lot of expectations about the devil, but she wasn’t expecting that. A white man, bald, wearing a polo shirt and the most hideous goatee. Hadn't Lucifer been the most beautiful angel in heaven? What a glow down.

Disappointing.

The Demon stood still for a while, staring. All the corporeal beings present froze. He might have an ordinary appearance, but his aura certainly matched his fame.

“…So?” The Evil One broke the silence “What do you want, mortal?”

Kethelyn saw her body swallow hard, her hands shake. Alice finally took courage and said:

“I wan…” she hesitated “I want to have a reserved place, for me Alice Vellota and my girlfriend Maria Eduarda Almeida, in hell. A place where we can be together.”

The Fallen Angel raised an eyebrow.

“I want so that the moment this soul of mine leaves this body,” Alice kept going, more confident this time “I go straight to hell and meet her.”

Sathanas began to laugh.

“In so many centuries of work” his laugh was strondous “this is the first time I've seen someone who wants to go to hell!”

He continued laughing for a few more minutes, bending over himself and slapping his knees.

“So…” Alice was distressed “you accept the deal?”

“Ah, that, err…” Old Harry wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “No.”

“Why?!”

“Sweetheart, do you think I'm stupid?” He said in a fake-offended voice. “I know that the soul inside this body died a long time ago.”

He laughed mockingly.

“I am the devil” he stretched the last word as if he was RuPaul “having the courage to lie in the face of the father of lies?” he clapped his hands sarcastically “You’re a real one, baby.”

Kethelyn could see her shaking, Alice must have been desperate.

“To tell you the truth,” The enemy continued, looking at Alice again “your soul is worthless to me. But hers…” Kethelyn didn't have a body at the moment, but she felt her soul shiver the moment Satan made eye contact with her, grinning. “Oh, her soul is very precious”

Why did she think he wouldn't be able to see her? He was the devil!

Carlos, who was just watching, felt chills when he saw The Old One pointing into thin air, he did not need to see her to know.

The devil wanted Kethelyn.

***

The Serpent made Kethelyn and Alice switch places, the sale of a soul should not be done by third parties, and Old Nick was more than willing to buy Kethelyn's.

“Not gonna happen.” Kethelyn denied the moment she got her body back.

“Come on, dear” insisted the prince of darkness with the warm gentleness of a salesman. “There must be something you want, do you want me to help you summon more souls for your studies? I can make all the sinners in hell available to you! You want money? Fame? I can do it in the blink of an eye! I have great references, artists loved me in the 90’s. Just tell me your price.”

“Can you help me get my degree while keeping my mental health?

“Unfortunately, reality-bending miracles are my father’s department.”

“Then no,” Kethelyn was determined “I know what you want me for. I will not send innocent souls to your domain. I may work with spirits, but I still have decency.”

Beelzebub took a deep breath.

“Well, I wasn't called here for nothing.” His facade fell, the warm voice gave way to a cold, cruel tone. “Either you give up your soul, and stay alive for another nine years... or you both come with me to hell, now.”

That was the last straw. Carlos ran through the old furniture and Nick Nacks squashed on the terrace to get the holy water and his other emergency supplies. If he had to fight the devil, so be it, but he wouldn't let him take her friend.

However, before he could invade the barrier, Carlos heard a yelp:

“Wait!”

It was Kethelyn.

“Lucifer Morningstar, I challenge you to a duel!”

Carlos wanted to tear out his own eyes, Lucifer grinned.

“And what are your terms, mortal?”

“If I win, you leave me alone and fulfill Alice's wish.”

“What if you lose?”

“...You can have my soul, as long as you fulfill her wish anyway.” She looked in the direction of Alice's ghost. “I know that fulfilling her wish is no big deal for you.”

From outside the barrier, Carlos was jumping, shaking his head, making an ‘’x’ with his arms, and mouthing ‘nooooooo’'. Kethelyn might be crazy, but she wasn’t suicidal, was she?

Was she?!

Lucifer pretended to think really hard.

“Okay, I accept your terms.” he smiled “And what do you challenge me to, little girl?”

Kethelyn smirked.

“Uno.”

Carlos was banging his head on the support pole of the terrace, and Alice — if she had eyes — would have them wide open in shock. They both thought the same thing:

She wants to kill herself!

***

“I'm sorry I didn't notice you before, Carlinhos!” Lucifer patted an inconsolable Carlos on the back.

The barrier had been broken, but Lucifer could not and did not want to attack any of them until the end of the challenge.

“It’s okay, Mr. Capiroto… it’s okay” Carlos repeated defeatedly. The two had met before, college projects can take you to unusual places, huh?

“So” Lucifer looked at Kethelyn “how does this… uno thing work?”

Kethelyn and Carlos looked at each other.

If the devil doesn't know how to play uno... they have a chance!

Carlos' eyes shone. Kethelyn looked at him smugly as if she had predicted this from the beginning — although it wasn't the case.

The humans took turns explaining to the prince of hell the rules of the esteemed — and supposedly — human card game, even Alice tried to help, mentioning observations and details the couple missed.

***

The clock was already striking at 3 am when the game actually started. Carlos raised another barrier for the participants. This particular barrier prevented either of them from cheating, a necessary measure for those playing with the devil.

The house rules say that the deck must be shuffled facing away from the players by someone who is not participating. As the only corporeal being left, Carlos had to take the dealer's role.

Kethelyn and Lucifer sat at the table found by Carlos somewhere in the mess. They both held their 7 cards from the uno deck, the starting card was in the center of the table, draw deck on the side. Carlos took a coin out of his pocket to decide who would start; Heads to Lucifer, Tails to Kethelyn.

The coin was tossed. Seconds of tension dragged on like hours. The coin fell into Carlos' hand. He opened his palm:

Heads.

***

It begins, Kethelyn's cards had nothing special, just a +2 red card as a special card and a predominance of reds, leaving with only one card for each other color.

The initial card, taken from the draw deck, was a green 3.

Lucifer started his attack, immediately launching a +2 green card. Kethelyn was unfazed, launching her red +2 card, doubling the attack and reversing the damage. Kethelyn, however, did not expect Lucifer to have a trick up his sleeve, as he placed another card in the pile.

+4.

Kethelyn had no way to counterattack this time, the medium let out a frustrated sigh as she picked up her eight cards: three red, three green, one blue and a special card, a red reverse.

“Color?” asked the medium.

“Yellow.”

Kethelyn nodded and threw three cards of number 7 into the pile, the bottom one yellow, the top one red.

Lucifer had no choice but to draw and place the same color.

Kethelyn places her red reverse card — drawn from the batch she just took — and then two number 4 cards, red and green.

Lucifer draws again and soon passes.

Neither red nor green cards… maybe the advantage is coming back to me. Kethelyn thought.

Kethelyn places her card again, this time two cards numbered 0, green and red, respectively. But the card Lucifer had just drawn was also red, so he places it in the pile combined with another card, changing the game's color to blue.

The game continues with blue cards until the devil places a card numbered 2, where Kethelyn manages to change the game's color to red again. Lucifer draws, and passes. But just one round later, he uses the same trick on Kethelyn, this time changing the color to green, Kethelyn places a card, Lucifer draws and places.

It's number 1, green.

Kethelyn ponders, she has three cards at the moment, the numbers 1 and 6 in red and the number 9 in green. She could try to change the color to red, she knows that her opponent doesn't have any red cards, but it would certainly inconvenience her later. She knows that Lucifer doesn't have any green cards either, and getting rid of the green card would avoid inconvenience, so that was the most obvious option, right?

Kethelyn wasted no time, playing card 9.

Lucifer smiled demonically.

— Uno! — he exclaimed, throwing the yellow card 9 on the table.

Kethelyn wanted to bang her head on the table, how had she not realized he only had two cards? What will she do now? She doesn't have another 9 card and much less yellow cards, she doesn't know the number or color of the last card, if it isn't a special card! She can't lose this game.

I can’t… I can’t…

The necromancer's hands shook as she tried to pull the next card from the deck, so much that the entire deck slid off the table.

Carlos approached it with an intense look, he looked Kethelyn in the eyes, silently asking her to trust him. Kethelyn didn't understand, but trust she did.

Carlos picked up the cards from the floor and explained that he would have to shuffle everything again.

Wait, will he…?

The game of Uno that Kethelyn lost last time was changed after Carlos shuffled the game, he knew many card tricks, including how to manipulate a deck without looking suspicious, and would never hesitate to cheat his way to uno.

But how? The barrier would prevent…

Kethelyn realized.

Carlos was outside the barrier.

The barrier unables Kethelyn and Lucifer to cheat, but that didn't count the Croupier.

When Carlos put the deck back, Kethelyn's hands were stable, she pulled out the top card...

A +4.

Kethelyn almost cried with joy as she threw the card on the table.

Lucifer drew his cards resignedly and asked the color:

“Red.” Kethelyn felt triumphant.

Lucifer played his card and Kethelyn followed without any problems, this time she was the one shouting Uno.

She placed the red 6 card. The only card left in her hand was the red number 1.

But instead of passing, the devil placed a new card on the pile.

A yellow 6.

Kethelyn felt a growing despair. She still had a chance, but it was frustrating. She was so close…

The human pulled a card from the deck and almost cried with joy for the second time that day.

It was number 1 in yellow.

Kethelyn could hardly believe her luck.

“I won!” Kethelyn announced, throwing the letter into the pile and standing up. “I won!”

Lucifer sighed mockingly.

“It seems so” he replied, and added, narrowing his eyes “this time.”

Lucifer stood up, assuming a relaxed posture as he looked in Alice's direction.

“Are you coming or not?”

The spirit looked dazed, her form flickering like candlelight.

“Already?”

“Isn't that what you wanted? No going back now.”

“Yes, yes” Alice alternated her gaze between Lucifer and Kethelyn “I just need to do one thing first, quick.”

“You know you can't run away, right?”

“I know!” She yelled before disappearing.

Lucifer looked at Kethelyn and Carlos.

“Don't think it's over yet, kids.” He gave another devilish smile. “I have as many tricks up my sleeve as you.”

Alice returned before the humans could respond.

“Let's go!” she exclaimed.

“Yes, let's go.”

Lucifer looked at the couple one last time, and pointed his two fingers first at himself, then at them in an “I'm watching you” sign, and disappeared into the darkness.

Before Kethelyn could open her mouth, a notification.

Bank: your pix has been received! Vellota ltd. sent you R$5,000.

Carlos looked at the cellphone screen clearly impressed.

“You know,” he broke the silence. “I kind of saved your life just now, so, I don't know... you could buy me a burger? As a thank you.”

Kethelyn smirked.

“Yeah, I guess we're even now, huh? I don’t know if there’s a burger place open at this hour, how about an açaí?

“Deal.”

They laughed.

Kethelyn wouldn't have to worry about rent for a long time.

[taigastyle]

here are my all out predictions

quick notes:

Mox selection is from my heart not my head but it Punk wins as a clean baby face I personally will be pissed.

I think some shenanigans (Kenny turning on Bucks, Cole shows up, Something) are gonna go down in the trios match and we get Hangman beating Kenny again.

Bryan is the better wrestler of Jericho wins we riot.

Here’s my wild out of left field take: Hayter wins. I think Toni is winning because she was scheduled to win and just keep on plan, I want Shida to win, but I think Hayter would be a bold choice! It could finally pay off the Britt/Hayter stuff and be a nice first feud, if she loses to Rosa it doesn’t hurt either party, and then next PPV you could do Toni/Rosa without it feeling like every other interim vs champ feud.

Sting doesn’t lose and I think from all reports without getting into them or speculating or whatever it could write HoB off to give people a break.

Personally it’s too soon for Jade to drop (IMO she should hit at least 50 wins first) but I think this match should slap and if Athena wins I wouldn’t be mad.

Love Papa Christian. Can’t wait to watch that twink obliterate him.

FTR&Wardlow winning just makes sense - no real notes. Will be mid to upper mid match.

Picking the Joker but Yoots or Claudio would be a good shout. Very intrigued about Fenix though because he got that singles match on Rampage and wonder how and why that factors in.

Banger match, The Acclaimed will have a phenomenal showing but I think SIOG retaining makes sense. Handshake of respect afterwards to cement face Acclaimed.

Ricky will gain a lot more winning than losing here whereas Hobbs could do a post match beat up and stand tall without losing much. I’m not super confident because Hobbs has been the one with more presentation changes but we’ll see!

Hook is Hook

I think Pac should retain but this is like Mox and Punk my heart is saying that. My head is saying maybe Kip! Maybe it’s Kip! But heart wins out.

Give Eddie a win! Mostly my reason for this - it’s gonna bang tho.

Mostly picking this because of the wrestling brain saying well Soho&Ortiz won on the go home show so Tay&Sam win on the Pape.