#bang chan slow burn fic

[minnie--verse]

First Date Pt. 3 (Bang Chan x Reader)

!!PT 3!!

summary: Day to day life was perfectly uneventful, you wake up, go to work, make coffee, go home, and start all over again. But today... you met Chan. And you continue to meet chan... a lot.

pairing: bang chan x f!reader

genre: strangers to lovers, non idol au, crack, mostly fluff, some anger from mc, later chapters to include: slight angst/comfort, slow burn.

general warnings:  barista!mc, slow burn, adult themes including but not limited to: suggestive content, cursing, mentions of death.

word count: ~4.6k

chapter content: mentions of food, coffee shop manager!Changbin, nonidol!Chan, nonidol!Han, first meets, first love flutters, roommate!Felix, angry mc!

author's note: Part 3 is here everyone! I'm so excited to see some people checking this out! Let me know if you see any errors so i can fix it, I'm contemplating adding a tag list, so comment if you want updated when the next part is out!

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"I met someone," you breathe, a soft huff passing your lips as you lock your front door.

Felix raises an eyebrow, his expression shifting to a mix of curiosity and caution. His smile was still there, seemingly happy but there was something behind his eyes you couldn’t quite discern. "Was it the guy who walked you home?"

You let out a small smile as you take a deep breath, digging in your pockets to take out your keys and nod in response. You find the paper football that was in your pocket this morning and hold it in your hands before quickly hanging your keys, “Yeah, his name is Chan. it was actually a really funny story, he said we met yesterday but he had just confused me with someone else--”

“Oh… that’s kinda funny,” Felix says with a smile, putting the whisk down, and then wiping his hands on the ‘Kiss the Chef’ apron you got him last christmas. You watch his brows furrowed a moment before glancing back up at you, “What did you guys get up to?”

Slipping off your coat, you gently place it on the back of the chair and then take a seat at the kitchen island, “Well, at first I thought Chan was a creep because he said something about thinking about me while mixing music-- but then I realized it was because he confused me with someone he met yesterday so he showed me his recording studio to prove he wasn't being weird and really did make music.”

Felix pressed his lips together in thought as he continued mixing the chocolate batter in the glass bowl, “And?” 

 “I went with Chan to his recording studio, and his friend Han played some incredible music, and we just vibed. It was really cool, and Chan was just so genuine with me. Admittedly he was cute too.”

As you express your excitement about Chan, you can't help but notice Felix's face contorting in hesitancy. His brows furrow slightly, and there's a subtle tightening around his eyes, a silent expression of concern that doesn't go unnoticed.

You tilt your head, picking up on Felix's hesitancy. "What's on your mind, Felix?"

He pauses, and you see him almost perfectly wipe the concern from his face and replace it with a smile, “Stranger danger, you know. It’s really reminiscent of how you met him,” Felix widens his eyes at the word, “But if you’re happy I’m happy, you know that Y/N.”

You appreciate Felix's concern, but a twinge of disappointment creeps in as you rub your thumb across the folded paper in your hands. "Felix, it's not like that. Chan is genuinely nice, and we connected over music, and he waited hours for me to get off work in order to apologize for making me uncomfortable.”

Felix offers a small smile, his worry easing slightly. "I trust your judgment. I just care about you, you know?”

You offer him a small smile and lean against the countertop, “I know Lix. You and Binnie are like hover parents sometimes,” You laugh, hoping to lighten the mood a little as you watch Felix pour the batter into a pan.

The sight of Felix finally laughing makes you relax a little, “Can you blame us after the last guy you dated? It’s not us with the poor taste in lovers,” He laughs as he jabs at you.

“Ooooh… that was low, Lee Felix,” You say, jaw wide open in faux offense. You take a deep breath and hold up the paper football with your pointer finger, aligning it up with Felix’s body and giving it a flick. The triangle launches into the air and hits Felix before he quickly turns around and looks downward, picking it up with a laugh.

“Did you make this?” He laughs, flipping it in his hands in an attempt to read the receipt paper it was made out of.

“I found it in my pocket this morning on my way to work, thought you made it,” You say as you point at the little thing in his hands. You watch as Felix shakes his head in response before passing it back to you. 

“Dunno, maybe,” He says with a shrug, a comfortable silence between the two of you while he starts tending to his dishes.

You take a deep breath and stand up from the counter as you slowly make your way down to your room for bed, “In all seriousness though, I kinda hope Chan keeps coming to the coffee shop.”

Felix smiles a bit, a slight sadness in his eyes as he keeps his back turned to you, “I hope so too.”

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“And that happens every day.” Chan concluded. He was pacing the studio slowly while Han sat in this chair, and another friend was sitting in Chan’s spot. Han’s hands run over his temples as he tried to absorb the information Chan was spewing out. 

After walking you home, Chan was feeling pretty melancholic about what he found out from Changbin today. Han’s face was contorted as Chan moped in his oversized hoodie, hood over his head while the hat fell lower over his eyes. It was late enough in the evening now that Han and Chan were the last ones in the building, meaning if shit got loud it didn’t matter anymore.

“So then how long will it take for her memories to come back?” Han asked.

“Changbin said it might not ever come back.”

“So what you're saying is, she’d be perfect for you, right?” the other guy said with a half laugh. He was spinning in his chair, legs pulled up off the ground. 

“What is that supposed to mean, Sungmin?” 

“You can hang out with her every day and flirt with no attachments because--”

“She just won't remember me anyway?” Chan interjected, looking exasperated at Han, “funny,” Chan rolled his eyes at Seungmin, “even if that were the case, I can’t keep doing this to her you know?”

Han furrows his brows, “why not?” 

“It’s evil.”

Seungmin scoffs and rolls his head back, “No, it isn't. You meet with Y/N, hang out, flirt, relive meet cutes over and over, no commitment, no one gets hurt!” he says, throwing his hands up into the air for dramatic effect.

Chan froze in his place, staring at Seungmin in disbelief, “She has memory issues, you asshole!”

“Alright, okay!” Seungmin shouts in defense.

Han takes a deep breath, “I think it’s healthy for you though, Chris. You haven’t allowed yourself to connect with anyone but me since before we graduated college.”

Chan shakes his head as he finally falls backwards onto the couch, “I appreciate your concern Dr. Han, but no.”

“Chris, you’re already starstruck and you’ve known her for two days. You’d be doing the same thing anyone else in her life is doing, just making her enjoy her day?” Han says, his tone was more like a question than a statement.

“Yeah man,” Seungmin added, “then when it’s time for you to move on from Y/N, poof, you can just leave without the consequences.”

“See, I���m not exactly sure about that ‘poofing’ part. I’m not a good ‘poofer’. Unless you two care to give me an example?” Chan says sarcastically, gesturing to the other two boys.

“Quit slamming on us for five seconds, huh? We’re just trying to help,” Han says, bringing his hands up to the headphones around his neck and putting them on the desk. 

“If you don't want our idea, what the hell are you gonna do?” Seungmin says, throwing his hands up in the air before they fall back onto his lap once more. 

“That is the million dollar question,” Chan said, sitting up from the couch. What, indeed, was he going to do? Stop going to the cafe so he doesn’t have to see you? Pros: Heartbreak and rejection avoided. Cons: not seeing you. Not seeing you smile, or hearing you laugh at his stupid jokes, or see you furrow your eyebrows in that really cute way when you’re confused.

Or maybe, Chan could go to the diner, do what Seungmin suggested, ensnare you under false pretenses, have fun with you for a day, then leave you at the end, no commitments, no strings attached. Pros: Seeing you again, even without you remembering who he was. Cons: unethically taking advantage of a trauma patient, even if it was because he was in love with you. 

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Chan went to the cafe the next day. He decided that if he could only have you in the short couple of hours when he had breakfast, then that’s what he’s going to get. So now his mission was to get you to talk to him again. He took a seat at a table, opening up his laptop, and waited for you to come in for your shift before ordering anything to drink.

Chan worked on his music for a bit, and the sound of a chair moving distracted him from his focus and he sees Changbin taking a seat at his table with a heavy sigh, “Hey man,” Chan greeted, slipping his headphones off his ears with a warm smile. 

“What are you doing, Chan?” Changbin leaned on his elbows as his upper body shifted over the table towards Chan with a look of disapproval and concern.

“I, uh… I just wanna say hi to Y/N,” Chan sighed as Changbin shook his head slowly, “Bin, I promise I’m not going to do anything wrong.”

“Chan, she’s not going to remember you. You’re hurting yourself doing this, you know that?” Changbin said exasperatedly, bringing his hands to cover his face in frustration.

“God, no I-- I know, trust me I know but…” Chan says as he leans back in his chair, “Look, I can't help it okay? The sliver of a chance I have to make her remember me is enough to convince me to try.”

“Well, don't be surprised if she’s uninterested in you,” Changbin shrugs, standing from the table. 

“What do you mean? She’s been friendly the last two times?” 

“It’s not a bar, Chan. She’s working, and getting hit on while on shift is weird,” Changbin explained.

Chan shakes his head in confidence, “No way, she’ll like me, I’ll even bet on it.”

“You’re on, man.”

The bell rings, alerting staff that someone had come inside, and before Changbin could muter out a greeting, he heard your voice.

"Traffic was worse than usual today, Changbin. I swear the city has a conspiracy against punctuality."

Changbin quickly turns around to face you as you walk into work, laughing as he pretends to ignore Chan and he chuckles, "Excuses, excuses. You know, I might have to dock your imaginary punctuality bonus."

You mock gasp and let out a pout as you slip an apron over your head, "But that's my favorite bonus! How will I afford my daily caffeine fix?"

Changbin leans against the table with one hand, feigning seriousness, "Well, you'll just have to make it up with some extra enthusiasm today. Can you handle that?"

You salute dramatically, "Sir, yes sir! Latte art will be at its finest today."

He laughs, shaking his head, "Alright, soldier. Get to it. The customers are waiting for their dose of joy, and you're the supplier today."

As you approached the espresso machine, you strained your neck to see the other guy sitting at the table Changbin was near, “Who’s your friend, Bin?”

“Oh uh, no one, I was just making sure he was doing alright,” Changbin gave you a tight lipped smile before looking back to Chan, widening his eyes as if to advise him to stay put.

You could see the other guy’s shoulders fall a little, and you look between the two with a suspicious look on your face before cracking a smile, “Bin, you don’t have to be embarrassed to introduce me to your new boyfriend.”

Bin rolls his eyes, “You know as well as I do that’s not the case,” Chan grumbles as he walks back to the other side of the counter, returning to his position at the register for the next customer.

Chan presses his lips together as he watches you work across the bar, admiring you from behind the bustling coffee bar, gracefully maneuvering between the espresso machine and the milk steamer. The rhythmic sounds of brewing coffee and the soft hum of conversation create a lively ambiance around you. As you expertly craft drinks, your focus remains on the task at hand, a subtle smile playing on your lips.

In the farthest corner of the coffee shop, Chan sits at a secluded table, seemingly engrossed in his laptop. However, his attention keeps drifting from the screen to you. There's a warmth in his gaze as he watches you move with a certain grace, an admiration that transcends the busy atmosphere of the cafe.

He sips his coffee, eyes never leaving you as if he's appreciating a piece of art. The play of light from the hanging bulbs casts a soft glow on your features, enhancing the natural charm that seems to emanate from you. Chan can't help but watch you laugh lightheartedly with customers, butterflies filling his stomach as he looks on from under the brim of his hat.

Every now and then, you catch his eye, and a smile is exchanged. It's a silent acknowledgment, a shared moment amidst the coffee shop chaos. When things slow from the morning rush, you slip out a muffin from the bakery case and take a seat at the coffee bar to rest your feet for a moment. And you take a deep breath before you feel a flick onto the back of your head.

“What the fuck?” You mumble, brows stitched together as you reach behind you to feel the back of your head and look around you before your eyes spot a small folded paper football. Your eyes scan the room until you see that guy from earlier waving at you with a stupid grin on his face. 

“Hey what the hell was that for?” You curse at him, picking up the paper from the ground and walking over to him as you hold it up into the air. 

“Sorry, I was just trying to break the ice--”

“Well, consider the ice very much intact.” You interject loudly, tossing the paper onto the table in front of him with a scoff, “seriously, if you wanted attention from me, a simple ‘Hi’ would have sufficed.”

Chan’s lips press together in complete embarrassment, “Yeah, my bad I was just… I thought you were cute so I--”

You let out a short huff of disbelief and cross your arms over your chest, this guy is a fucking idiot, “Sure, yeah because flicking this wad of paper at someone is the the perfect way to say, ‘Hey, you’re cute can I take you to dinner and maybe take your clothes off later?’ Come on--”

You turn curtly on your heel and retreat behind the counter to continue your shift, a simmering anger bubbles within you, fueled by Chan's ill-timed attempt at flirting. Each latte you craft becomes a vessel for your frustration, and the clinking of cups provides a rhythmic backdrop to the furious monologue echoing in your mind.

Changbin leans on his arm, looking between you and Chan as your hands move with more force than usual, a subconscious outlet for the irritation coursing through your veins.

Changbin looks over at Chan, giving him a sarcastic smile and two thumbs up before turning them upside down and making a fake pouty face before laughing and going back to work.

Chan stands up and looks over at Changbin before exiting the cafe, “double or nothing tomorrow.”

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Several, several, several, days went by at the cafe. Several, several, several, days of you turning down Chan with every chance he had. And by now… Chan was in some serious debt to Changbin, but luckily your boss was a pretty forgiving guy. 

Today, Chan was just going to get his drink, go back to his studio, and actually get some work done with Han. If he didn’t, Han was going to actually kill Chan for leaving him to do all this work on his own for the last few weeks. He was determined to get you to remember him somehow, or even just talk to him again, but if you didn’t remember him then he had some time to take a break to help out his friend in the studio and try another day.

“Hey there, what can I get for you today?”

Your eyes were sparkling when they met his, and you couldn’t help but take in the softness of this guy’s features. His smile was gentle and warm, one dimple on his left cheek as his full lips curled up enough to greet you. 

“Uhm… a lemonade refresher and an iced americano, please.” He said, meeting your eyes briefly before looking back down at the countertop. He seemed upset, but his eyes held a slight kindness to them that you didn’t see in anyone else’s eyes when they looked at you. 

You look at the screen, tapping a few buttons, “a name?”

You watch the guy hesitate for a minute, then speak, “Chan.”

“Chan…” You repeat softly as you scribble his name across both of the cups and set them aside for the baristas to make before reading him his total and watching him bow his head thankfully before continuing on.

Your eyes trace his movements for a moment as he takes a seat at the coffee bar, and you snap out of your thoughts when you hear the next customer clear their throat. You quickly smiled at them and took their order, keeping an eye on the man you had just helped. He just seemed so sad…

You watch the cups be placed gently in front of him, and you hurriedly snatch a muffin from the bakery case and chase him down the cafe, “Hey wait--”

You watch him turn around to see you jogging up to you, and the once sad eyes that had looked to you before seemed a little hopeful and his smile widened. Chan felt every nerve in his body electrify when you ran up to him, maybe you’d recognized him? Did you remember him? Were you finally going to tell him you liked him too?

“You seemed like you were having a bad day.. So take this,” You say, holding out the brown paper bag to him, “on the house.”

The hope dwindled almost instantly, as he saw a quickly scribbled phone number on the paper bag and Chan’s face fell flat, staring it in your hands before he spoke, “Fuck this…” and he turned curtly on his heel and started to walk away. Even if he wanted your number he’d have to delete it the next day to keep himself from contacting you when you didn’t even know him.

You grabbed his arm, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

Chan yanked his arm from you and his wrist slipped from your grasp, “I don't need you to pretend to be nice to me. I just came for something to drink, not to get into your pants.”

His words hit you like a ton of bricks and you felt your chest tighten a bit at the outburst, “I was just trying to lighten your day a little, you fucking asshole,” You say back, chucking the muffin at him before straightening your apron and walking back to the coffee bar.

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Chan knew fucked up. And he knew your address. Not in like a weird way, he walked you home that night you went to his studio. Chan needed more information on what happened, or at least things you liked that way he’d have some leverage sparking some kind of memory for you. Chan was lost, feeling like he had exhausted almost everything he could do to get your attention again.

When he finally got to your complex, he entered the building and up the stairs to the first door on the left, and knocked a few times, hoping you were home after your shift that day and you would answer the door. But he was greeted with Felix. 

Oh god… she has a boyfriend.

“Ah… I think I might have gotten the wrong pla--”

“I know you,” Felix’s deep voice startled Chan for a moment, a bit rough as it rumbled out his chest and it did not promise anything reassuring to Chan. Felix stepped outside and shut the door behind him to stand with Chan in the hallway. 

“I want to apologize to your… uh,” Chan trailed off, waiting for Felix to fill in the blank.

“Roommate? Yeah, I don't think so. She’s inside, and not going to speak to you,” Felix shot him down, shaking his head, “You and I are actually going to chat about it.”

Chan pressed his lips together as he looked at Felix, “I hurt her feelings earlier and I just didn’t want it to end like that.”

“I get that, and the fact that you’re even here in the first place is something to respect. But Listen, she doesn't remember you walking her home all those nights ago, and seeing the guy who basically spit in her face this morning at her apartment might freak her out,” Felix explains calmly, pointing to the door behind him over his shoulder.

“And Chan, Changbin, myself, and her friends at the cafe work too hard to keep her safe and protected for someone like you to come in and ruin it all,” Felix continued, leaning against the door.

“Yeah, Changbin told me about what you guys do for her, and I absolutely respect that.”

Felix’s eyebrows raise, “And if you know about her condition then you know that she can’t fall in love with you, or anyone for that matter. She will never remember you.”

“I’m not looking for a one-night stand with her.” Chan said defensively.

“Anything with Y/N is a one night stand, what aren’t you understanding?” Felix says, a hushed exasperation in his voice, “And good God, what are you doing to yourself? You spend weeks being shut down by her, finally call it quits and she’s the one shooting her shot and you cuss her out? You hit a breaking point and now you’re mad at her?” Felix’s eyes look at Chan as if he was pleading for some kind of explanation.

“I was-- She gave me her number and the idea that I couldn’t ever actually use it was enough to make me upset, and I had an outburst which is why I came to apologize,” Chan repeated.

Felix put a hand on Chan’s shoulder out of empathy, “Let up man. She can’t know you know she lives here, and you’re killing yourself doing this.”

And with that, Felix goes back inside. Chan was left standing alone with the guilt growing  in his chest as he bit down on his lip and reached into his pocket to pull out a little folded up piece of paper. He spins it in his hands before looking down at his own name on the folded receipt before tossing it onto the ground in front of your apartment, trudging away and back to his studio.

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“What can I get for you, hun?” You returning the same warm smile the man in front of you was giving you.

“Lemonade refresher and an iced americano,” He says, pulling out exact change for you, passing the coins to you, “For Chan.”

Chan. You know that name. You look up at him for a moment, studying his face for any sort of recognition in his features, but he eludes you. You reach into your pocket and feel the folded football you had on your doormat this morning before you smile at him politely again, “Of course, it’ll be ready at the end of the coffee bar.”

Chan walks away and you hurry to the backroom, pulling out the folded receipt paper and unfurling the creases in your hands to see the name and order.

Chan. A lemonade refresher and an iced americano.

Your lips part in deep thought, glancing around your shoulder and through the window at the man you had just rang out. How have you not recognized him? There’s no way he’d been here before or you’d know his name--

You quickly fold up the paper back to it’s original state before returning to the cafe, where the man, who you now know as Chan, is seated in the far back of the room. You take a deep breath and approach him with the receipt paper held tight in your hands, taking a seat in front of him.

“Do we know each other?” You ask, your brows are furrowed in confusion as you look across his face.

“Do… we?” He repeats, raising a brow at you as he chews on his lips in hesitance. 

You put the receipt football on the table and unfold it, pointing at his order and then his name as you hold it flat against the table. “I found this on my doormat this morning.”

Chan reaches forward and picks up the paper, reading the order and his name before glancing back up at you, “I mean, yeah this is me and my order, but… I don't think we’ve met. Maybe someone used the receipt I left behind to make it.”

You squint your eyes at him for a second before relaxing, “Yeah… yeah,” you repeat yourself, closing your eyes and shaking your head, “I’m sorry for that, it was weird--”

Chan lets out a laugh before holding out his hand to you, “I know you know my name, but I’m…” He hesitates for a second and meets your eyes, “Chris.”

You reach out, taking his hand, “Y/N. What about Chan?” 

“Christopher Bahng Chan,” He says with a soft laugh, “I uh, don't usually use it with people I’m not familiar with.”

“Oh, but I’m familiar to you?” You joke, placing a hand on your chest as you roll your eyes at him.

“Well, I mean I suppose you could say that.”

You smile a bit, reaching forward and picking up the little football again, flicking it towards him. You watch as he puts his hands up to stop it from hitting his chest, and laughing a bit and something felt… familiar.

"So, what's your experience level? Beginner, intermediate, or paper football prodigy?"

That’s Chris’s voice.

"Let's go with intermediate. I've had my fair share of competitive matches in my day."

That’s my voice.

"Oh, we've got a pro here. Well, prepare to face the champion."

What the fuck.

 You furrow your bows and shake your head with a soft laugh, Chris looking up at you with concern in his eyes as he reaches out and puts a hand on the table in front of you.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” 

You let out a soft laugh with a shake of your head before dropping your own hands to the table and glance up at him for a moment before speaking.

“Yeah just…” You pause, with a wave of your hand to dismiss his concerns, “intense deja vu.”

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ending note: *insert gremlin laughter here* I am never going to hear the end of this from my best friend. I can feel it in my bones. anyway-- Enjoy!! thanks for all the love<3 -- Bunn

[broken-glowsticks]

What Once was Mine

Chapter 14 - Spending the Night

Genre: Childhood friends, Eventual Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Love corner/love triangle, love rivals, Series. Not all chapters will be proofread!!

Warnings: 18+, mdni, mentions of sex and alcohol consumption, additional warnings will be added to individual chapters as needed.

Previous • Main • Next

You felt better after talking to Felix, it helped you put your thoughts in order and make a decision.

After returning to the studio and finishing dinner, the boys returned to their work as you and Felix cleaned the trash from your meal. Following that Felix pulled out his homework, attempting to knock out as much as possible as you settled in and watched a movie on your tablet. It was quiet, but it was nice, the five of you simply enjoying having the others around.

It was a few minutes to one in the morning when all of you collectively decided to call it a night. Felix had groaned about how he was totally going to fall asleep in his first class of the day while Jisung sauntered over to you.

“I was going to crash at Chan's place tonight, do you need me to drive you home?”

“No, it's cool, I drove myself here, I can drive myself back,” you said with a thumbs up, one Jisung reciprocated.

“Okay, cool then. Text me the second you get home, I promise I'll be home again soon. We can have dinner together,” he said with a smile, pulling you into a tight hug. Changbin wasn’t the only one who missed seeing you.

“Actually, bunny,” Changbing said once you and Han had finished your hug and you had bussied yourself with collecting your belongings. “I came here with Chan and, I was thinking, maybe I could go home with you?” Changbins voice came out in a nervous whisper as he finished his sentence, causing goosebumps to flourish across your skin. “If that's okay, of course.”

“Of course it's okay,” you reply almost immediately, your voice also hushed. You almost melted at Changbins grin.

“Let's go then?” You nodded fervently at Changbin before hastily finishing collecting your things and giving everyone a goodbye hug.

“You gonna talk to him tonight?” Felix asked gently in your ear, so no one else could hear.

“Maybe, right now I just want to enjoy getting to have time with him.”

“Just don't chicken out,” Felix teased, making you scoff as you playfully shoved him away.

“Whatever, get home and get some sleep. We don't want you sleeping through all your morning classes.”

“Ready to go, Princess?” Changbin asked, appearing behind you and resting his hand on your waist. The two of you shared a smile as you nodded and Changbin gave a friendly goodnight to Felix.

“Goodnight you two~!” Felix called as you and Changbin walked out the door.

It was a surprisingly chilly night as the two of you left the building and made your way to your car. You were thankful to still be wearing Changbins jacket but also felt bad as he clung to you in what you assumed was an attempt to stay warm, however you were surprised when you reached your car and learned that actually Changbin had clung to you as a distraction while he, once again, swiped your keys. You decided to not complain, too cold and tired to argue, as you made your way to the passengers side and slid in.

It was a comfortable drive to your apartment. Changbins hand rested on your thigh as he drove while your arm had snaked around his, your eyes drifting closed as you focused on the momentum of the car and the gentle lull of your music coming from the car speakers. You were slowly starting to fully fall asleep when you were suddenly woken up by a gust of cold wind. Your eyes snapped open to see Changbin leaning over you, in the middle of taking off your seatbelt. When did you get to your complex?

“You woke up, thank God, I really didn't want to have to go through your stuff for your key,” Changbin chuckled as he slung your bag over his shoulder and lifted you from the passenger's seat.

You shuttered as your body was assaulted by the cold air, your mostly bare legs squeezing together to maintain as much body heat as possible. You prayed you'd get to your door soon as you clung to Changbin.

You didn't get to your door nearly as fast as you wanted, but were beyond grateful that when you handed Changbin the key and the two of you fell into your apartment that the air was warm.

“Bed time, bed time,” Changbin sang softly as he continued to carry you, making his way to your room and pushing the heavy door aside. “Do you wanna change?” His voice was low and muffled as he pressed a sweet kiss to your hair.

“Mmh, no, just wanna get to bed,” you mumbled, nuzzling roughly into Changbins’ neck. You weren’t sleepy anymore, having been jolted awake when Changbin took you from your car's warm cabin. All you wanted now was just to get cozy in bed and warm up with your boyfriend.

“Alright Princess,” Changbin chuckled, pulling back your fluffy comforter and attempting to lay you down only for you to refuse to let him go. “Someone's clingy tonight, ” he said with a small grin, one that grew when you began to pull him onto you, a small grin of your own.

“you're just warm,” you said as you wiggled, attempting to make room for him on the bed without letting him go.

“I'm supposed to sleep in my jeans?” Changbin teased as he lifted you towards the other side of the bed.

“You can take them off after you get in bed,” you replied, just drowsy enough to make you confident and shameless.

“Do you plan to help me, Princess?”

“I can,” you whispered, feeling the bed dip beside you and the press of Changbins’ kiss your forehead.

“Promise?” Changbins lips kisses continued across your face and down your cheeks before stopping at the corner of your mouth, “hmm?”

“Promise,” you breathed before slotting your lips against Changbins’, one hand coming to rest at the nape of his neck while the other trailed down his torso to hook a finger into his jeans. Your thumb swiped over the button a few times, smiling playfully until Changbins teeth caught your lower lip, tugging at it harshly and causing you to yelp.

“Don't tease, Princess,” he warned, a hand sliding under your shirt to swipe at your covered nipple.

You mewled softly at the sweet tingle before giggling, muttering a small apology before working Changbins button loose and dragging down his zipper. Changbin laid in wait, keeping himself busy by kissing and gently licking at your sore lip while you slid your hand into his pants and palmed his stiffening cock. A low groan vibrated in Changbins throat as you pumped this shaft a few times then swirled your thumb over his tip.

“Plan on spoiling me again, Princess?” Changbins voice was breathier than he anticipated as he spoke between kisses, kisses that grew sloppier as you continued to tease his tip, collecting his arousal.

“More than you know.”

“Bunny, are you sure, I thought you were tired?” Changbin teased, rubbing his nose against yours.

“I’m sure,” you breathed, lifting yourself from the bed and pushing your boyfriend on his back before climbing on top.

“Binnie, I've missed you,” you said candidly as you began to trail your hands up Changbins’ abs, lifting his shirt as you spoke, “I want to be closer to you. I want you. I especially want to finish what we started in the pizza parlor, y'know… before things got awkward,” you finished with a shy little giggle. As you spoke, a bashful smile spread across your boyfriend's face. It made you want to ride it.

“Lift your arms please,” you instructed, removing the fabric of his shirt from his body before tossing it aside, your hands roaming as you leaned down and kissed up Changbins torso to his eager lips. As you kissed, your hands continued to feel him up, inching downward until they once again landed at his jeans. “Lift your hips.”

Obediently Changbin lifted his hips, allowing you to yank his jeans down far enough to let his dick spring free before interrupting your momentum.

“Am i supposed to just lay here naked, while you're still wearing all of this?” Changbin asked, his hands tugging at your shirt and his jacket.

“You make a very fair point,” you conceded, leading changbins hands to the waistband of your shorts and lifting your hips. With ease, Changbin yanked the material down, bringing your panties down as well.

You gasped as the comparatively cold air hit your already dripping cunt and the need to ride Changbins’ face hit you again. Without a word you stood above him on the bed, his curious eyes watching you intently as you kicked your shorts and panties from the bed and dropped to your knees over his head, your core hovering above his lips.

“I didn't know I'd be getting dessert,” Changbin said with a grin, his arms hooking around your legs and fingers gripping the plush of your thighs.

“Been wanting to do this for a while,” you said, hands finding your headboard as you looked down at him.

“I have too,” Changbin admitted before closing his eyes and diving in.

Your breath hitched as his tongue swiped over you, his warm muscle collecting your wetness before swirling around your eagerly awaiting clit. Repeated, low groans pushed through your pressed together lips, the blissful sensation causing you to close your eyes and tilt your head back as you felt Changbin lick and suck. It felt so good and you just couldn't help but begin to rock your hips over his pretty lips.

Changbins’ grip tightened on your thighs, his fingers digging your skin as loud, sloppy noises began mixing with your increasingly pitched up moans. Those moans began to turn into near screams as Changbin dipped his tongue between your folds, his nose rubbing harshly against your now sensitive clit. It was getting harder to focus and keep yourself upright, you didn't even realize when your legs had given out and you had fully released your weight onto Changbins’ face, all you were aware of was the overstimulating sensation of your boyfriend absolutely devouring your as your vision began to get foggy.

“Binnie… B-Bin…!” You slurred, trying to warn him with shallow pants of your growing orgasm. But words failed and soon you were creaming all over his face, your hand fisting his soft, black curls as you rocked your hips harder against his face, riding out your euphoria. Your orgasm hit you so hard that your knees gave way, causing you to topple over and land on the bed with a soft thud.

Changbin didn't give you a moment to let you recover, kicking off his pants and boxers entirely before climbing over you. You had managed to get a good look at him, your white slick stuck to his face, before he wiped it off with his arm and crashed his lips against yours. The two of you kissed fervently, limbs wrapping around each other as you tried to etch the absolutely erotic image of you cum all over his face into your brain.

“Condoms… bedside drawer,” you mumbled between kisses, your nails dragging across Changbins’ back.

Changbin shuttered at the sensation, savoring your kisses for a few seconds more before pulling back. You whined at the loss of his warmth, caushing Changbin to playfully pinch at your skin a few times.

“Do you wanna do this, or not?” He teased, turning his attention back to the side table drawer, rifling through the damn thing before finally finding a condom tucked between a headband and a random sock. “Found you,” Changbin grinned, turning back to you and tapping the corner of the small wrapper against your lips. “Help me?”

With a giggle you opened your mouth, taking the corner between your teeth. Together the two of you opened the wrapper and Changbin slid the condom over his almost too-stiff dick with ease before slotting himself back between your legs.

“Ah, I'm suddenly getting a little shy,” You blurted as Changbin glided the tip between your folds, collecting the slickness from your orgasm.

“I kind of am too,” he admitted, slowly beginning to push in the tip, “I wanted this during our last date, but you weren't ready…” Changbins voice was low and soft as he slowly eased himself into you. He was girthier than you remembered, this felt different than when you took him into your mouth the day you spoiled him. The stretching of your walls as Changbin filled you caused a strange swirl of pain and pleasure to wash over you, making it hard for you to focus on his words. “I'm glad I get to do this with you now.”

When Changbin finally bottomed out, a sharp jolt of electricity cut through the mix of pain and pleasure, causing you to reflexively claw at his back, your cunt squeezing around him. Changbin hissed out a swear as he stilled, gritting his teeth at your nails on his back while you adjusted to the foreign sensation. He wasn’t focused on your scratching anyway.

“God, you feel so good, bunny,” Changbin muttered, pressing kisses to your neck and behind your ear.

“You're so big…” you admitted in a hush.

“Does it hurt, baby?” You shook your head adamantly, your arms circling his broad shoulders tightly.

“‘S just different… Don't break me,” you joked, rocking your hips as a sign that Changbin could move.

His actions were slow at first, a gentle attempt to acclimate you to his girth. You appreciated his tact at first, it felt as if one wrong move and Changbin truly could split you in two, but as your body grew used to his width, the more you wanted more. You couldn't quite place your finger on it, but something about the size of your boyfriend - both in stature and girth - made you want him to treat you much rougher than he currently was. You adored how he didn't want to hurt you, how he cared for you so deeply and wanted to cherish you. But you so desperately wanted him to put his strength to use, for him to pin you down or toss you around. You felt like he was holding back and wanted him to let go.

“Binnie, baby, I'm okay now,” you purred into his ear, “you don't have to hold back anymore. It won't hurt.”

“Bunny, are you sure?” Changbin all but groaned, his hips stuttering for just a second as his grip on his self control slipped. “What if I hurt you?” Locking your gaze with his, you gave your boyfriend's heart quite the pulse with the salacious gaze you gave him.

“I like a little pain.”

Those five little words were all he needed. Without even removing himself from you, Changbin circled his arms around you, pulling you close to him before rearing back and lifting you off the bed entirely, sitting himself on his knees. Mercilessly he began drilling into your pussy, strong arms holding you up with ease. It was as if you weighed no more than a basket of feathers.

The change of position allowed Changbin to hit your favorite spot and all you could do was hold on for dear life as the sounds of squelching and your euphoric cries filled the air. You weren't going to last long in this position, you were still rather sensitive from your first orgasm and Changbin was absolutely slamming into your cunt. Before you could even realize it was building, you were creaming all over Changbin's thick dick, but he didn't relent, continuing his assault to your cervix.

One of Changbin's hands came to rest on the curve of your ass, his hand kneading into the flesh as he guided your hips in a motion he desired. You barely had any strength in you, but somehow you managed to gather enough to comply, angling your hips as Changbin pounded into you over and over again.

“God, I'm gonna cum, bunny. Fuck. Baby, I'm gonna cum so hard,” Changbin growled against your collar, his teeth grazing the skin only to clamp down once he hit his high. Your body bounced as Changbin's hips faltered before stilling entirely, his length filling you so entirely that you almost came again yourself. The only thing that was keeping you grounded was the sting of Changbins’ teeth bared against your skin.

With a few more rolls of his hips, Changbin finally came down from his high, his tongue running gently over where he bit you. He never let you go.

“That's gonna leave a mark,” he mumbled idly, ghosting his lips over the sore spot. You winced slightly but giggled all the same. You were fine with it if it did, you liked the idea of having a little memento from tonight.

“As long as you didn't break skin, it's fine.”

“I got lucky then,” Changbin replied with a small chuckle, pulling your face to his for a sloppy kiss, one you returned eagerly. Maybe a little too eagerly, as you started to feel heated again, excitement thrumming under your skin as you caught his tongue and sucked. Changbin gave a little grunt at your action, his hand wrapping around the back of your neck and pulling himself from this kiss reluctantly. “Trying to egg me on for another round?”

“And if I am?” Your hooded eyes looked at him daringly, your question a challenge.

“Then I'm gonna fuck you so hard you're not gonna be able to walk, Princess.”

“Promises, promises,” you teased with a giggle, biting your lower lip before Changbins stole it with his teeth and plopped you back onto the bed.

---------------------------------------

I'm baaaaaaaaaack. Soooooo I have a good chunk of the story planned, almost all the way up to the end. My husband gave me a laptop, and I've been slowly getting back into the groove of writing!

I don't plan on posting every week like I used to, jfc... How the hell did I ever manage that? I might post only monthly. All I know is that when I do post it will still be on Saturdays.

Taglist: @groovygroovyhyunjin @hhwangsmoon @luvyblossom @doggezz @kayleefriedchicken @hyunjinhoexxx @zadkielr @bincxtesworld @jisunglyricist @kpop-kink @amarecerasus @its-kitten-now

[pixieara]

paying for love [changlix]

65k words

☆☆☆☆(☆)

a sugar daddy/sugar baby au where changbin is lonely as fuck and decides (thanks to chris) to look for a sugar baby, our sweet felix.

there's a strong development in between their bond that made me love this fic. there's a looong slow burn, but it is totally worth it.

[forlix]

𝐚𝐜𝐞・h.h.

— volleyball superstar and your personal hell hwang hyunjin proposes a trade-off you can't refuse: his matchmaking services for a passing anthropology grade. the plan is foolproof in theory; in practice, it is something else entirely.

words・15.2k

pairing・volleyball player!hyunjin x tutor!reader (gn)

genres・college!au, sports!au, fake enemies to friends to lovers, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, slice of life, mutual pining, slow burn. two polar opposites sharing one soul. a seungjin fic if u squint. loosely inspired by the manga/anime haikyuu!!

warnings・mentions of anxiety, fear of failure, heartbreak, loneliness, and self-image. course language and callous banter (as always) ft. suggestive flirting and one kms joke. some of the referenced players and coaches are real; this fic is not.

playlist・collision by stray kids・value by ado・waiting for us by stray kids・eternity by bang chan・dreaming by smallpools・fly high!! by burnout syndromes

a/n・writing this felt like returning to my roots tbh. i love volleyball and i love sports aus and i love, love hwang hyunjin. thank u to my sahar for bringing this fic to life with me, as always; i can no longer write for him without also writing for you. i hope u guys enjoy reading this as much as i adored writing it. happy late birthday, our jinnie, our hyunjin, our forever ace; you are so unbelievably loved ♡

“Not a word out of you,” you say, tossing your backpack onto the floor of the lecture hall with a heavy-handed flick. “I’m serious.”

Hyunjin glances up at you with a frown. “When did people stop saying good morning?”

Your lack of an immediate comeback tells him the situation is dire. He observes you for a moment, his mouth falling open, hanging still, then curving into a slow, serpentine smile.

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Please, angel.”

“No! Leave me alone.”

Hyunjin slumps back into his seat, thinking hard. The solution occurs to him with a poke of his tongue into his cheek. “Coffee on me for a week.”

At this, your hands stop rummaging in your bag. You cock your head, your interest piqued. Got you. 

When you finally humor him and turn around, you’re flinching like you’re in pain, eyes closed and breath held and all. He giggles and leans in for a closer look. Tendrils of your body spray reach him from here, floral and light like a tropical coastline. He could’ve counted your eyelashes if he wasn’t so flummoxed by the state of your forehead.

“What the hell did you do?”

“Tried to cut my own bangs,” you sigh. “It didn’t go very well and now I look like Rock Lee.”

Hyunjin lets out a forceful laugh. “You’ve seen Naruto?”

You open your eyes. Only then does Hyunjin remember how little distance he left between your faces, when he’s staring straight into them and all the strange, starry speckles they hold.

The air between you curdles like sour milk.

Things are awkward between you often, he’s realized recently. What’s more, he didn’t think he was capable of being awkward with anyone anymore until he met you. It was your ill-fated seat that he chose to sit next to on the first day of ANTH 111, your ill-fated lap onto which he chose to spill his Americano, and the rest was history (or, in this case, anthropology). His tongue ends up in sailor’s knots with every smart-aleck comment and pitiful laugh you’ve given him since. Maybe there’s more to it, maybe there isn’t—Hyunjin doesn’t think about it much. He doesn’t like thinking in general.

You pull away from each other in unison. You clear your throat, glancing elsewhere. 

“Of course I’ve seen Naruto,” you quip, and everything is normal again. “Why do you seem surprised?”

“Because you’re so scholarly.”

“I am not scholarly.”

He raises an eyebrow. “You go to a park to play chess with old people on weekends.”

“I need to get my steps in somehow.”

“You didn’t know what Urban Dictionary was until I told you to look up—”

“God, I learned so much about you that day."

“Your favorite social media platform is Quizlet,” he bursts, exasperated. “Quizlet.”

“It is not.” An introspective pause. “Or is it?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Hyunjin throws his feet up on the chair below him, jabs in your direction with a bandaged finger. “There is no way you enjoy watching 2D men beat each other up in your free time. I don’t buy it.”

“Honestly, I thought you’d have more to say about my current appearance than my hobbies.”

He does, though. Matter of fact, he’s been curating a list since this conversation started: Vector from Despicable Me, Dora the Explorer’s hot older sibling, Spock. You face-planted into a lawnmower. You mistook a paper shredder for a hat. It goes on.

But then his head turns. Your eyes meet again. He’s reminded that it’s hard to sustain an inner monologue and look at you at the same time, Vector resemblance and all.

He reaches up, nudges a lock of your hair over a centimeter or so, and gives the patch of forehead a gentle flick.

“Watermelon,” he mumbles with a sickening smile.

You divert your attention to your lecture notes with a disappointed click of your tongue. “You’re getting soft.”

He spends the entire lecture daydreaming about tropical coastlines.

“I only get coffee from that one place on the east side of campus, by the way,” you say as you’re strolling out the building together, “and I get it a very specific way. Can you handle it?”

“Your faith gets me out of bed in the morning,” Hyunjin deadpans. “I’ll handle it, love. Text me your order.”

All of a sudden, you position your hands close to your stomach, the lapels of your jacket casting them in shadow. Your fingers begin to move in a sequence that he’d recognize anywhere.

“Body flicker jutsu,” you whisper, and then you’re scurrying off without another word—but you do glance back at him to gauge his response. Your smile is purely effulgent, your laugh but a faint sigh against the main quad’s busy thrum.

Hyunjin gapes at your retreating figure for so long that phosphenes start prancing around his field of view. Then he heads to the gym. His heart is pounding against his ribs like a battering ram.

“Hwang, I need you in my office.”

Hyunjin stops lacing up his shoes to see Coach Bang standing on the court’s sideline with a grim air about him. He glances at his captain, confused.

“Don’t look at me,” Minho says mid-stretch. “Godspeed.”

“Thanks, cap.” Useless.

Head volleyball coach Christopher Bang’s workspace reminds Hyunjin of a morgue. It’s all fluorescent lights and spotless white walls, the only decorative fixture a picture of his siblings, parents, and dog in front of the Sydney Opera House, framed and facing him atop his desk. Hyunjin once snuck the thing into the bathroom, an innocent plot to satiate his curiosity, and promptly discovered the man’s propensity for violence. He’s packing beneath those dry-cleaned polos, by the way.

Hyunjin closes the door and takes a seat. Bang taps a knuckle against the tempered glass of his monitor. “You can read, right?”

“Yes, coach,” he sighs. Everyone’s expectations for him are subterranean.

From: Park Jinyoung «asiansoul_jyp@snu.edu» To: Bang “Christopher” Chan «cb97@snu.edu» Subject: Not good See email from Hwang’s antopology professor below . He submitted the complete script of the Trolls movie instead of his mid term paper and now he’s failing the class . Not good . Sort out ASAP JP Sent from my iPad

Bang snatches up his mouse and scrolls, his ears turning scarlet. “Wrong email.”

“Yep.”

From: Kim Kyeyoung «kyeyoungkim@snu.edu» To: Park Jinyoung «asiansoul_jyp@snu.edu» Subject: Regarding Hwang Hyunjin To Director of Athletics Park, I am writing to inform you that, as of yesterday, Mr. Hwang Hyunjin has a D- (64.9%) in ANTH 111: Cultural Anthropology, due to his submission of the complete script of a kids’ movie instead of his midterm paper. It is disappointing to see Mr. Hwang trivialize and ridicule my class to such a degree. Please see to it that he reorganizes his priorities lest his Student-Athlete Participation Agreement do so for him. Regards, Kim Kyeyoung Professor of Anthropology

“That’s bullshit!”

“We’re in agreement there.” Bang folds his arms over his chest, throws his foot over his knee. “Do you know what your Student-Athlete Participation Agreement says?”

“Does anyone?” Hyunjin scoffs. Bang whips out a form and brings it to eye level, the thing covered from top to bottom in microscopic Times New Roman. “No way you just had that.”

“I had it delivered ten minutes ago,” Bang confesses, then clears his throat and begins to recite. “All student-athletes must complete the academic term with a C or higher in all courses, should they wish to continue their participation in athletics thereafter.”

Hyunjin stiffens. “What the fuck? I’ve never heard—”

“If any Department of Athletics personnel,” Bang continues, raising his voice, “have reason to believe that a student-athlete will not be able to satisfy this requirement, they are encouraged to utilize resources such as academic advising or peer tutoring in guiding said student-athlete back onto the correct path.”

He shoves the piece of paper across his desk. “Read that name aloud for me.”

Hyunjin stares at the signature at the bottom of the page, scrawled so carelessly that most of it deviates away from its designated line. There is a rare hollowness in his chest that he recognizes as anxiety. With it comes a glimpse of a life without volleyball, the question of what little of him would remain.

“Hwang Hyunjin,” he says under his breath.

The office goes silent. Bang tucks the form back into his drawer. It closes with a gentle click.

Then comes the yelling.

“The Trolls movie? Trolls?! Are you fucking with me, Hwang?”

“It was a cultural reset! The pinnacle of modern media! How’s that for anthropology?”

“BAD!” Bang explodes, gesturing to the email emphatically. “VERY, VERY BAD!”

Hyunjin slumps over, dejected.

“You’ve never had trouble with school before.” He leans over his desk imposingly. “What the hell happened this semester? What changed?”

Nothing is the first answer that comes to mind, but Hyunjin’s pulse spikes like a lie detector. Upon the inside of his eyes replays a scene of a certain someone with watermelon bangs doing teleportation jutsu at him from a few yards away, wearing a smile made of some kind of space dust that astronomists haven’t discovered yet.

He grits his teeth, annoyed. This is what happens when he thinks.

“Beats me,” he fibs. “Typical junior year stress, maybe.”

“Does any of it have to do with Piazza?” 

Hyunjin shudders.

It just might, actually.

Modesty has no place in the career he’s had: high school national champion turned ace hitter in both the South Korean U21 roster and regular rotation for Seoul National University, the best collegiate volleyball team in the country. His name has lived at the top of ranking lists and the center of gold medals since he turned old enough to qualify for them; the press believes him the instigant of South Korea’s imminent volleyball revolution. It’s a mouthful, he knows.

It was never a question that he would go professional; the question was who he should talk to and where he would go.

At the start of the school year, Bang, acting in place of the agent he was advised to find and never bothered to, gave him a list of people to reach out to. On the very top was none other than Roberto Piazza, the chairman and head coach of Allianz Milano, one of the most eminent club teams in the world—and current home to Hyunjin’s personal idol, outside hitter Ishikawa Yuki.

Hyunjin thought his poor coach had finally succumbed to his old age. The thought of stepping onto the same court as Ishikawa felt sacrilegious, let alone donning the red, white, and navy blue of Allianz Milano with him. But Bang slapped him on the back of the neck and reminded him that going professional was equal parts preparation and opportunity; he was never going to know the answers to questions he didn’t ask. Hyunjin was coerced to fire off an introductory email despite his reservations.

Piazza replied within the week.

For the last five months, Hyunjin has been fighting with tooth and nail to manage his expectations. He scrolls past the team’s social media posts like they burn his eyes. He replies to Piazza’s emails right before working out with Changbin under the assumption that whatever the shredded libero does to him will eviscerate his brain. If his world is made of dreams, this is the one at its very core, imbued with destructive potential the second it became attainable.

But that’s the last five months. The last five weeks have been you kicking him in the shin because he’s laughing (or trying to make you laugh) and the professor is staring; you listening to him rant and rave about volleyball when he knows you couldn’t care less about the sport; you relaying the contents of your class readings like hot gossip, your eyes wild and hands flying around because you can’t contain your excitement. You, you, you.

He cards a hand through his air, regaining focus. “You know how I feel about Piazza.”

“Expect the worst, hope for the best.” Bang’s chair skids backwards as he stands up. “I think it’s a good approach.”

Suddenly, he is directly in front of Hyunjin, low enough to meet his eyes. His hands rest upon his shoulders firmly.

“But hope is hungry, and it will consume you if you let it,” he says. “Do not let it, Hyunjin. I’m not asking.”

Even while being squeezed to a pulp and regarded with the cold intensity of a statue, Hyunjin can’t help but feel anchored, somehow, to the floor of this miserable office. Protected.

Bang lets go of him. “I’m not asking you to find a tutor by the end of the week, either.”

Hyunjin groans. “Yeah, yeah. I’m on it.”

A set of bandaged fingers appear in your periphery to place a paper cup onto your laptop. Accompanying the smell of fresh coffee is that of smoky rose, as decidedly douchey as ever.

“I thought you said your order was complicated.”

You look up from your phone to see Hyunjin plop into the adjacent seat. His long, caramel-colored hair is damp and unstyled in the aftermath of a morning shower, droplets of water pearling on the lapels of a navy blue windbreaker, layered over a white long sleeve. You recognize the outfit by now as game gear.

“Was it not?” You ask.

“It was an Americano, love. I walked up to the cashier and placed an order for an Americano.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure if you could handle that much.” He flips you off as you squint at the cup. “Someone wrote their number on the lid, by the way.”

“What? Really?”

“No.”

He shoves you hard enough for your upper body to drape over the opposite armrest; you’re still cackling by the time you’ve straightened up again.

“Why did you get this, anyway?” Hyunjin grumbles. “I thought you had a sweet tooth.”

“I do, but you don’t.”

Only then does the fool understand that you had no intention of charging him in coffee just for a haircut reveal. He takes back the coffee hesitantly.

“Thanks,” he says at last. “Nice of you.”

“I know, right? Hated it,” you respond, and he almost chokes on his first sip.

You almost choke on nothing when Kim Seungmin materializes in the aisle adjacent. He holds out a hand in Hyunjin’s direction. “Yo.”

Hyunjin dabs it up mid-sip. “I fully forgot you were in this class.”

“Well, I’m due for my weekly appearance.” Seungmin slips into the seat directly below you, glancing at you over his shoulder. “Hey, Y/N.”

“Hi,” you say, somehow managing to stumble over the single syllable the word has. You thank your lucky stars that you fixed your hair yesterday.

You like Kim Seungmin. Not just in the cutesy, crushy way, but in the “I would relinquish all of my rights for you” way where you spend every waking moment cursing out whatever stroke of misfortune placed Hyunjin in the seat next to you instead of him. He’s funny, gorgeous, and talented—a vocal performance major with a student-athlete contract—and you think your infatuation is more than justified. Hyunjin thinks it’s hilarious.

You side-eye your blonde adversary, prepared to see one of three things: a suppressed laugh, a dramatic eye-roll, or a mature kissy face that usually results in the first option. You’re met with something far more worrisome.

He’s thinking.

That can’t be good.

Suddenly, his phone screen lights up with a text that temporarily wipes the conspiratorial gleam from his eye. Hyunjin scans it over and groans. “Can this guy do his fucking job?”

“He wouldn’t have to if you didn’t quit,” Seungmin answers. “I’ll never forget you, Manager Hwang.”

“Shut up.” You peer at Hyunjin, silently requesting an explanation. “Our captain is forcing us to help him look for a new team manager. We need one for playoffs because of some stupid U-League rule—Seung, why do you look morose?”

“I’m mourning.” Seungmin does look morose indeed. “Hyunjin committed larceny last year and our coach punished him by making him our team manager for the rest of the season. It was so funny.”

Hyunjin slides down his seat. “It was the worst experience of my life.”

Neither man seems inclined to elaborate on the mention of larceny. You choose to digress. “Can I ask why?”

“He had to be responsible,” Seungmin whispers. “For other people.”

The top of Hyunjin’s head stops right next to your armrest. You reach over and pat his hair in faux sympathy. “Poor thing.”

“Hardass refused to do it again this year, so now we’re recruiting.” Seungmin props an elbow upon the back of his chair, looks at you contemplatively. “I don’t suppose you have four hours to spare every day.”

Hyunjin scoffs from below you. Loudly. “This one? Team manager?”

“I can see it.”

“I can see killing myself, maybe.”

The next time you reach for him is to hit his forehead. A crisp smack resounds around the barren lecture hall. Hyunjin cusses into his seat cushion.

“Seems like a great candidate to me,” Seungmin muses, and the warm smile he gives you mirrors onto your face before you can think better of it. God, it’s pretty. You wonder how it would feel pressed against your own.

Hyunjin is now completely out of sight and halfway onto the floor. “I miss when you didn’t come to class, Seungmin.”

Eighty minutes later, you’ve just emerged from the classroom when Seungmin calls out to you. You come to such a sudden halt that Hyunjin almost trips over you, but you barely notice him stumble, utterly enraptured by the hand Seungmin brings to the strands of hair by your ear, the fingers that dust your cheek as they pluck a small piece of lint from out of the tresses.

“Sorry.” He flicks it away with a sheepish smile. “I couldn’t unsee it.”

You manage to thank him just before your whole body ceases to function. Hyunjin sidesteps the two of you, yawning.

Seungmin excuses himself not too long after you reach the main quad. You also turn to leave, sparing Hyunjin a curt farewell in the process. He hooks his pointer finger around the handle at the top of your backpack and lugs you backwards with infuriating ease.

“I didn’t like that at all,” you say.

“I don’t care. I have something to tell you.”

“You have a kid, don’t you?”

“Wha—huh? Who do you think I am?”

“The one-night-stand’s poster child. The champion of the contraception industry.”

“Yeah, contraception industry. It’s right there in the name.”

You suppose you can’t argue with that.

“What do you have to tell me?”

A shadow of hesitation flits across Hyunjin’s face. Your smile falters. Is it possible that you’re about to have a serious conversation with him for the first time? Maybe you should’ve saved the secret son bit for another time.

“I’m failing anthro.”

So much for a serious conversation. 

“Come again?”

He repeats the mystifying statement.

“You’re joking.” The look on his face says otherwise, though, and your eyebrows disappear into your hair. “You’re failing anthro?”

“I just said that, yes.”

“You’re failing anthropology?”

“Mhm.”

“Just so we’re clear—you’re failing Introduction to Cultural Anthropology?”

“Yes. I’m glad you’re having fun.”

This is the best day of your life. “I didn’t even know that was possible.”

“Yeah, well, our professor has no media literacy,” he mutters.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Hyunjin clears his throat. “Anyways, I was thinking—”

“Wow! Congratulations. That’s a big—oomf—”

Hyunjin puts his entire hand over your face. Your mangled noises of protest go unacknowledged.

“I was thinking,” he continues, pushing your head around like a stick shift, “you and I can work out some kind of deal.”

You shove his wrist off you with a revolted groan. “I think I just ate some athletic tape.”

“Happens. You wanna hear the deal or not?”

“Does it involve ingesting more sports equipment?”

“Do you want it to?”

“Just tell me the deal, boy.”

“Alright.” He takes a deep breath. “If you help me pass this class, I’ll set you up with Seungmin.”

Your head performs a triple-axel on your neck. You are unable to respond for what feels like multiple hours. Finally: “I’m gonna need you to elaborate.”

“On which part?”

“All of them. Everything.”

Hyunjin sighs, then scans the courtyard. His gaze settles on the student union a little ways off. “Are you hungry?”

You pick up a sandwich and a smoothie in a state of nervous stupor. One would think it’s the prime minister you’re about to have lunch with and not an imbecilic left-side hitter eating from three different entrees at the same time.

He’s chosen a table a few yards away from a planter of flowering cherry blossom trees. You feel jealous eyes on the side of your face as you take a seat across from Hyunjin, but they don’t know that his telephone pole legs still bump against yours even with them drawn as close to your body as anatomically possible. Or that he’s drawing up a literal Ponzi scheme on your sandwich wrapper. You wager you’ve had better company.

“You like anthropology. I like listening to you talk about anthropology.” He traces over the wrapper’s left corner. “And I kinda want you to boss me around. That weird?”

“Yes, definitely,” you mumble around a mouthful of bread. “Go on.”

“Conclusion one: you should be my tutor.” He taps in place as if applying a finishing touch, then swaps to the opposite side. “You also like my teammate, but he’s neck-deep in volleyball and music this semester, which makes him hard to get a hold of—for most people.”

“Let me guess. Not for you.”

“Ten points to Ravenclaw.” His British accent is nightmarish. “Seung and I live in the same building. We get dinner when we go back from practice together. Conclusion two: you should come with us.”

“To dinner or to practice?”

“To both. Which brings us to my third and final conclusion—”

He slams a fist onto the center of the wrapper.

“—you should manage our team.”

“I knew it!” You slam the table as well, your smoothie wobbling upon impact. “You’re trying to swindle me! You can’t pay for my labor with more labor. What do you take me for?”

“It’s not labor, dumbass! Ask our last manager! He didn’t do shit!”

“Yeah? Who was your last manager?”

“Me!”

Oh, right. “But you hated it!”

“I hate everything that isn’t playing volleyball. Try again.”

You fold your arms over your chest. “You said you’d kill yourself if I managed you.”

Hyunjin starts balling up your sandwich wrapper. “It’s true. I thought about you and my coach getting along and promptly got a rash. But it makes so much sense: you do whatever you want during practice, tutor me afterwards, and then you and Seung can eyefuck over ramen or something. My coach hops off my dick, you hop on Seung’s—”

“STOP!” A girl drops her receipt not too far away, startled by your outburst. “Stop right there. I get it. Stop.”

“It’s a good plan.” He slings the paper ball towards the nearest trash can. It drops into the hole without so much as a brush against the rim. “You know it is.”

You’re loath to admit that you do. “When did you even come up with all this?”

He flicks a thumb in the direction of your anthropology class. No fucking wonder he’s failing.

“What is this, mock trial?”

The owner of this voice is the third man you’ve seen today donning that navy windbreaker, white long-sleeve combo. He has a face that reminds you of your neighbor’s cat from back home, sleek and sharp and only slightly sinister. There’s a dash of humor in his expression as he approaches your table like he’s enjoying the company of a court jester.

“Slamming tables like fuckin’ tariff lawyers,” the cat-man hums, lifting a hand in Hyunjin’s direction. “I could see it from all the way inside.”

“Captain!” Hyunjin crows, dabbing him up without missing a beat. They really do that like breathing. “Just the man I was hoping to see.”

“Really? I thought you’d be avoiding me like the rest of our homunculus team.”

“I would never.”

“You did. Yesterday. When you saw me and started running in the opposite direction.” He pauses for emphasis. “As fast as possible.”

“Well, that was yesterday. Today is a new day.” Hyunjin tosses you a proud glance. “And today, I bring you a new team manager.”

You stiffen. “I haven’t—”

“Is that so!” When the stranger smiles at you, you feel the same satisfaction you did every time the cat let you scratch her on the chin. “Music to my ears. What’s your name, cutie?”

You catch Hyunjin’s eye across the table; he nods enthusiastically as if saying go on, then. You briefly picture yourself strangling him with his own athletic tape. You then picture yourself hopping on Seungmin’s—

Rigidly, you throw a hand out to the cat-man, your face aflame.

“Y/N,” you grumble. “I’m looking forward to working with you.”

He shakes on it heartily. “Likewise. I’m Minho. Welcome to the team.”

“Yes, welcome to the team,” Hyunjin parrots, looking positively jolly. You gnash your teeth together so hard your jaw throbs.

He’s lucky that his proposal holds so much water. He’s lucky that you don’t plan to strangle him until after you try that eyefucking thing.

You do kick him under the table, though.

The team has five weeks to prepare for the Korean University League, the biggest college-level volleyball tournament in the country. You have five days to learn how the hell athletic tape works. You can’t tell which is the bigger endeavor.

“I’m going to cause him irreversible skeletal damage,” you tell Changbin.

The team’s libero is twice as kind as he is talented, a full-time sweetheart working part-time at the university’s sports medicine clinic. Only your first week on the job and you’ve already decided he’s the only person on Earth you would permit to usher you through the gym at 6:45 A.M., a roll of athletic tape pressed to your back like a pistol.

“You will not,” Changbin answers. “One, because this won’t involve his skeleton, and two, because I wouldn’t ask you to help if it did.”

“You’ve misunderstood me,” you return as the two of you stop in front of an examination room. “I want to cause him irreversible skeletal damage.”

“Oh.” He opens the door with a frown. “Oh dear.”

Inside, Hyunjin is sitting cross-legged on top of a taping table, fitted in a loose gray tee and athletic shorts. He watches in pessimistic silence as you enter the room and beeline straight towards the shelf on the right. You slip a thick binder into your hands and bury your nose inside it without so much as a greeting.

“I am going to get maimed,” Hyunjin tells Changbin.

“Have some faith, both of you,” Changbin replies sternly. You find the pages you’re looking for and begin poring over them like you’re cramming for an exam. “You’ll be fine, Jinnie. Y/N studied.”

“Studied?” He repeats. “For this?”

“I’m pretty sure Quizlets were made.”

“Three, to be exact," you interject, sticking out your hand. “Now tape me.”

Hyunjin mouths the words tape me in baffled silence. The latter obliges your request with a smile. “See? What could go wrong?”

The answer to that, actually, is a lot. Especially after Changbin gets called away to help stretch out a teammate named Felix who allegedly “sprained his ass,” leaving Hyunjin to you and your binder.

You detect no smoky rose in the air around him today, just the subtle smells of cedar and cypress—laundry detergent or shampoo, maybe. Figures he doesn’t wear that insufferable cologne to practice.

“Go easy on me, yeah?”

While Hyunjin’s tone is teasing, yours is downright somber.

“I can’t promise anything.”

With that, you turn your palms face-up in a silent request for his hand.

A few strands of hair fall into your face as you lean in for a better look. It’s the first time you’ve seen his fingers untaped; they’re pretty, long and slender and surprisingly manicured, but also battered in their delicacy, the veins running over the back of his hand and forearm prominent, his bottom knuckles discolored from the healing bruises they bear. His hard work is palpable upon the smooth skin as evidently as if tattooed.

Hyunjin says your name in close proximity. You respond with an absent hum.

“You’re not nervous, are you?”

“No. Maybe a little.” You let his hand fall free and go to rummage for supplies. “Fine, yes. Very.”

“But you made Quizlets. You’re prepared for anything.”

“That’s what I’m saying!” You realize only after spotting the gentle smile on his face that he’s making fun of you. “I hate you.”

“Actually,” he hums, “I think you care about me, love. That’s why you’re nervous.”

“Nonsense—I care about disappointing Changbin. That’s it.”

“And me. And hopping on Seungmin’s dick. All these things don’t have to be mutually exclusive.”

You try to tackle him. Hyunjin catches your hands a few inches away from his face, fingers closing around your wrists with obnoxious agility.

“Have you lost your mind?” You whisper-shout, your face on fire. “Don’t bring that up here. I’ll maim you for real.”

The laugh that explodes out of him throws his entire body backwards, turns his eyes to crescent moons and his mouth into a little rectangle. You hate that you don’t hate when that happens.

“My bad, my bad. It slipped out. I won’t—”

One incremental shift of Hyunjin’s body later, you find that you’re precariously, alarmingly close to one another.

So much so that you notice the mole beneath his left eye for the first time, that you're nearly cross-eyed looking at it. That the tip of your nose actually brushes against his before you pull away with a quiet intake of breath. 

Things are awkward between you often, you’ve realized recently. You’re both professional yappers, always quick to digress, quick to find a new topic to bicker about before the awkwardness marinates. But hours later you’ll look back on the interaction and still remember how the air shifted: like a layer of dust had been blown away and something untouched and unknown was discovered just underneath.

Since you’ve met him, Hyunjin has spent more time on your nerves than on your mind. You’re not exactly losing sleep over such a circumstantial acquaintance; you know that his presence in your life will end the way it began, naturally and anticlimactically and inside the ANTH 111 lecture hall. Still, it doesn’t go unnoticed when your heart and stomach launch into an elaborate gymnastics routine in the wake of something he says or does, just as they’re doing now.

Hyunjin glances into your right eye a moment, then your left. The mole just below his left eye disappears when he smiles, the expression soft, saccharine, and sincere. How anyone casually looks the way he does is beyond your abilities of comprehension.

“Thank you,” he murmurs.

Your face continues to burn, now perhaps for different reasons. “What for?”

He lets go of your wrist, sweeps the lock of hair that keeps getting in your eyes behind the cuff of your ear.

“Caring about me.”

Then he flicks your forehead. You recoil with a quiet ow.

“Now stop stalling and tape me, dumbass.”

“Okay,” you mutter, rubbing the injury tenderly. “No need to get violent.”

It turns out the arduous taping procedure described in the instruction manual is for serious hand injuries. Hyunjin splints his fingers together for support, not rehabilitation, so it takes all of five minutes for him to talk you through his process. You finish taping both of his hands with nineteen minutes to spare. So maybe the Quizlets were overkill.

As you’re walking him down to practice, you take his hand and lift it to eye level, scanning your craftsmanship dubiously. “It’s not too tight, is it?”

“It’s perfect.” He swivels the hand around and grabs onto your entire face, the sensation by now eerily familiar. “Want another taste?”

You shove him down the stairs that remain. Unfortunately, there are only two. “You are truly grotesque.”

The gym has come to life since you arrived earlier this morning, now illuminated by shining ceiling lights in addition to the sun spilling through high, narrow windows. Most of the team has yet to step onto the court, still stretching or jogging along the sidelines: Minho and Coach Bang are talking strategy on the bench, the coach taking notes on a handheld whiteboard every now and then; Changbin is leaning over a recumbent Felix below the scoreboard, presumably trying to fix his ass.

The only one already with a ball in hand is Seungmin, setting to himself by the net. Once, twice, thrice straight up in the air, and then he glances in your direction and sends the fourth towards the left side of the court in a buoyant arc.

You only glean bits and pieces of the next few seconds. Hyunjin is at your side one moment, making a break for the net the next. His arms draw backwards in perfect synchrony. Feet hit the floor with laserlike intent. His entire body unravels like a fraying chrysalis as he rises to meet the ball, pounds it over the net and into the ground at an angle so clean that the sound of its landing resounds within your ribcage. It rebounds over the railing of the second floor and barely misses the doorway of the examination room you just emerged from.

Hyunjin drops lightly back onto his feet, following the ball’s tumultuous trajectory with proud eyes. A leftover breeze tosses a strand of hair over the bridge of your nose, and time starts moving again.

“Oi, this isn’t your backyard! Go pick that up!” Their coach booms, though his words lack their usual bitterness after what he just witnessed his ace hitter do.

Hyunjin swivels towards Seungmin first. “Crazy bitch. What the fuck was that?”

“Lower and faster. Further from the net too,” Seungmin returns. “How’d it feel?”

The grin on Hyunjin’s face reminds you of a wildfire, untamed and all-consuming and frightening in its fervor. “Like we just won everything.”

He tousles your hair as he jogs past you and back up the stairs to fetch the volleyball. Seungmin waves at you with one hand and palms another ball into his other. His face is warm and bare, his slim build flattered by his volleyball gear. You’ve witnessed few people so nice to look at and even fewer things as elegant as his setting form. But you are still thinking about Hyunjin—and you can’t move.

It is debilitating, watching somebody do the very thing they were destined for.

A little less than a week later, Hyunjin is approaching hour three of spewing hot garbage into a Word document when he decides to give up and call you. 

“Hello?” He immediately starts laughing. “Where the fuck are you?”

You poke the top of your head into the shot of your ceiling, gesturing to your headband. “My face is preoccupied at the moment.”

“Oh, you have to show me. Please.”

You flip your phone up for no more than half a second. A camera shutter goes off, followed by a shriek so loud that it peaks your mic.

“Motherfucker!”

He basically sprints to his camera roll. His prize: you with your face slathered in cleanser, hair pinned back by a Miffy headband, looking like the abominable snowman if he liked cute merchandise.

“Thank you,” he says earnestly. “I’ll treasure this forever.”

“You’ll be punished, Hwang.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

You brandish your middle finger at him in response. He props his phone up against his computer screen with a chuckle. 

“Aaanyways, I have a thesis statement to run by you.”

The first thing you did as Hyunjin’s tutor was help draft an email to Professor Kim, begging her to let him resubmit the two essays he royally botched. She replied with a lengthy quotation from her syllabus, specifically the section that talked about (and prohibited) resubmissions, but ended up making an exception for Hyunjin on account of the “truly piteous timbre” of his email. You fell out of your chair laughing when he read you her response.

“You should’ve opened with that.”

“I tried, hello? Someone distracted me!”

“Read. It. Before I change my mind.”

You spend a few minutes at most on the thesis itself, advising him to avoid passive voice, answer the prompt, establish a refutable argument, the works. Then he asks you a question about the research topic itself, allusions to the afterlife in Ancient Egyptian artwork, and the tutoring session takes a turn into what feels like a podcast episode.

You talk about the God of Death, Anubis, and his connections to the underworld; the elaborate, lavish funerary rituals intended to ensure the souls of the dead traveled safely; the vibrant murals that flanked their final resting spots as pictorial requests for divine protection. And you talk about them all with such confidence, such eloquence, that it’s as if you’re leading him through a history museum rather than talking to your phone as you do your skincare. He could listen to you for hours. He does, actually.

Around 1 A.M., Hyunjin stops typing mid-sentence when you come into frame for the first time, collapsing into your bed with a sigh of relief. Your eyes are soft and sleepy as they blink at your screen, strands of damp hair clinging to your cheeks. He feels his heart physically shift inside his ribcage when your mouth stretches into a yawn. It is the same sensation as the time you shot him a smile over your shoulder and he couldn’t move for ten minutes.

With that, his attention span has run its course.

“Baby,” he interrupts gently. “Let’s stop here, okay? You seem tired.”

You open your mouth as if to protest, only to yawn again.

“I suppose I am. Will you keep working tonight?”

“I think so. I hit my stride.”

“Text me if you have questions, then. I’ll respond when I wake up.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Your lips curve into the smallest of smiles. It copies onto Hyunjin’s face incurably quickly. 

“I had my doubts about this tutoring thing, you know.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, you told me this class was the closest thing to daily naptime you’d experienced since preschool.”

“It really is.”

“You also told me you would rather slam your tongue in a car door than read more than three sentences in one sitting.”

“I really would.”

“And you once referred to academia as ‘Virgin Village.’”

“Didn’t you come up with that?”

“No, hello? I live in that village.”

He grins. “I know. I just wanted to hear you admit it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Ah, don’t threaten me with a good—”

“What I’m trying to say is that I didn’t think you would take this seriously, but I’m happy to be proven wrong.”

Hyunjin leans back. “Well, turns out I might give a fuck about anthropology after all.”

“Really?”

“No.”

You pretend to punch him through the screen. It’s so cute that he forgets to think before he opens his mouth next.

“But I do give a fuck about you.”

There’s nothing crazy about the statement. You’re friends, sort of. You manage his team. It would be strange if he didn’t. But the seconds that follow are terrible, a silent prophecy of something disastrous, like a cloud of rubble before an avalanche, the standstill during a star’s final breath. And Hyunjin’s heartbeat is hounding against his ears like a performance of traditional taiko.

He says good night in a haste. The call ends. He stares at the wall of his bedroom in a muddled haze for who knows how long.

Then he opens his texts.

Hyunjin: We have team bonding tomorrow btw Hyunjin: Don’t forget Y/N: i forgot. Y/N: pick me up at 6:45? Hyunjin: 🫡

He picks you up at 7:53.

You approach his car with your fists balled and your eyebrows knitted together like a mean old curmudgeon and he’s walking too close to your lawn.

“His fault,” Hyunjin says before you start yelling.

Minho simpers at you through his open window. “Hey, you! So glad you could join us!”

You fix the man with a judgmental glare as you slide into the backseat. “Aren’t you the captain? Why are you this late?”

“Whoa, okay. I would’ve scheduled this for earlier if I knew right now was honesty hour.”

“You did schedule it for earlier,” you say. “You scheduled it for way earlier.”

“Yeah, well, you’re fired.”

“You can’t fire me, Minho.”

“I can too. Tell ‘em, Hwang.”

“I want nothing to do with this.”

When you step through the doors of the arcade, you’re met with a surge of sensory input that you haven’t experienced in years. The air hangs thick with the smells of greasy concessions; everywhere you look are flashing screens and neon signs, stuffed animals and fading posters; clamoring against your ears are the sounds of games being won or lost, of balls being pocketed or launched, and of a horde of fully grown men spectating a match of Dance Dance Revolution so passionately (and loudly) that they’ve scared everyone away from that side of the room. You recognize the current competitors as Changbin and Jeongin.

“I’ll go pay,” Hyunjin says. “How much time do we want?”

“Infinity,” Minho answers. Hyunjin doesn’t move. “Two hours.”

He flashes him a thumbs-up. “And you?”

“I’m okay, I think.”

“No you’re not,” the two men answer in perfect unison.

You glance between them warily. “I don’t mind watching, seriously. I don’t even know how most of these games work—”

“There’s Tetris,” Hyunjin cuts in.

You purchase an hour.

One would imagine the point of the evening is to break the SNU men’s volleyball team, not to bond them. You’ve never seen so many strained blood vessels in your life. Nor have you heard of half the insults they spew at each other as the night goes on. Felix has to pay a fee for lodging an air hockey puck in the side of the MarioKart machine. Changbin loses at skee-ball and has to down an XL slushie like it’s a shot. It’s a scary amount of boyishness expressed in scary ways.

But they’re happy. You’ve picked up on it when they’re on the court, noticed the raw elation they emanate just from playing together. Yet, their closeness has never been more evident to you than tonight. The men are either laughing or making someone else laugh, arms draped over each other at all times, equally happy to celebrate victories as they’re eager to punish losses. It dawns on you at some point that you’re glad to be here with them, grateful to be a part of something so special—especially because there’s Tetris.

“Have you ever considered going pro?” Hyunjin asks over your shoulder.

You waited until most of the team was distracted to slink off to your beloved machine. Hyunjin tagged along, undoubtedly with the intention of making fun of you, only to be rendered speechless by your mastery. He’s been watching in a state of stupor, forearms propped against the back of your chair.

You don’t respond for a while, too focused on a precarious patch to even blink, let alone partake in conversation.

“I already did,” you finally answer.

“Sorry, what? You played professional Tetris?”

“In middle school. Then I got bored and switched to backgammon.” You pause. “Then I got bored again and switched to chess.”

“How do you look like this with these hobbies?”

Your run ends a few minutes later with a somber sound effect. You turn around in your seat with an anguished groan. “I think I’m washed.”

He looks at you like you’ve lost your mind. “You just set a new record by three hundred thousand points.”

“It’s a small pond,” you say, and an idea occurs to you. “Do you wanna try?”

“I get the feeling I don’t have a choice.”

“Then you’re smarter than you look.”

“Well, you look—”

His eyes move between your shoes and your face, and then his voice is an inaudible mutter as he sinks into your seat. You think you hear something along the lines of unfair.

“What was that?”

“Ugly. I said you look ugly.” He cracks his knuckles. “Now let’s break some fuckin' blocks.” 

When Hyunjin learns that the pieces can be rotated (so six or seven attempts later), a man walks into the arcade. 

He has hair the color of dark chocolate, the face of a fairy prince—and he’s with someone. The two of them appear arm in arm, laughing at something he said. He looks at this person the way astronomers do to the sky.

Something shatters inside you like old porcelain.

Your hands loosen around the back of Hyunjin’s chair. You can’t watch. You can’t think. You can only feel a void of disappointment rip open, stretch over you like an elongating shadow.

“Seung!” That’s Jisung, you think. “You made it!”

“Yo, sorry we’re late.” That’s Seungmin. That is undoubtedly Seungmin. “Dinner took longer than I thought.”

“Min, are you sure I’m allowed to be here?” You don’t know who this voice belongs to and you’re not sure you want to. “I feel like I’m intruding—”

“Hwang,” you say suddenly. “I have to go.”

He turns around, confused. An unattended block falls into a terrible spot on the screen behind him. ”Already?”

“I forgot I had an important call to make.” You turn away, training your eyes on the patterned carpet. “Sorry. I’ll see you around.”

You have touched Hyunjin’s hands many times. He’s asked you to tape his fingers every day since the first; he likes the way you cut off his circulation, says it helps him hit harder. But you never hold his hand so much as you examine it, the act stiff and unfeeling, cordoned within the professional pretense of athletic treatment. 

Now, Hyunjin catches your hand like a gardener repotting their favorite flower: delicately, careful of leaving its roots intact and petals untouched, but firmly, securely, so the flower continues to stand tall even when it’s been extracted from the soil, not even a speck of dirt slipping through the cracks between their fingers. That is the image you conjure when he slips his between yours, his metal rings cold where his fingertips are warm.

He says your name. There is a pinch of pain in the word, and you know that he knows.

“Do you want to be alone?”

You have never been asked such a thing—you have never asked to be asked such a thing—but, for some reason, the question brings tears to your eyes. 

“Yes, please,” you whisper, and you pull your hand away.

When you stalk past him, you hear Jisung notice you, call out to you, a note of worry in his question. You also count three pairs of eyes on your back: one concerned, the next confused, and the last you are wholly incapable of meeting. 

Unknown to you is the fourth pair fixed upon the top of the Tetris machine, where you’ve left your phone.

You emerge into the parking lot. The frigid air stills your mind for a fraction of a second, the last moment of mental quietude you will allow yourself that night.

Hyunjin’s right; the team manager doesn’t have to do much.

Coach Bang allows you to come to whichever practices and games you feel like, during which you might at most lug around a ballbag or fill someone’s waterbottle before holing up somewhere to do your own thing. But you like the people you work for too much to do so little for them, so you attend everything  your schedule allows. 

Last week, you could be found helping Minho put up the volleyball nets before practice, your laughter echoing throughout the spacious gym as he complained to you about his biochemistry professor’s distinct “cabbage scent.” Or running to grab materials for Changbin as he treated his teammates’ injuries like you were assisting an orthodontist giving someone a root canal. The dinner invitations you extended to Seungmin were always turned down, but his teammates were more than happy to assist you and Hyunjin in your quest to establish the best kimbap joint in the area once and for all. You even had a heart-to-heart with Coach Bang during one of the team’s water breaks, in which you managed to get half a smile out of the guy; Hyunjin was convinced that was his way of asking you to elope. You spent more time in the gymnasium those ten days than you had your entire college career.

Then came the arcade.

Five days have come and gone. You haven’t attended practice since, but you still see Hyunjin every morning at anthropology. The two of you sit in uncharacteristic silence for most of the lectures. You’ve taken the best notes of your life. He doesn’t mention the previous weekend; he doesn’t mention much of anything. 

In person, that is.

That Friday afternoon, you’re reading on the terrace of the library when you receive a text. It’s from Hyunjin, a two-minute voice note. You hesitate for a moment, stick a pencil into the gutter of your textbook to save your place, and slip your earbuds in. You listen to it.

Then you listen to it again.

And again as you wrap up your study session and go home. Again as you cook yourself dinner and load the dishwasher. Again as you shrug on a jacket and pocket your keys, setting off on the familiar trek to the gym.

As for what you plan to do there on a Friday night, long after the team has finished practice, you haven’t the slightest clue. You continue to move regardless, fueled by the feeling that there is where you need to be.

Coach Bang is leaving the building just as you’re approaching it. He halts in his footsteps and raises his eyebrows when he notices you. The man has always been difficult to read, but his face is exceptionally opaque now. Maybe it’s the shadowy landscape; more likely it’s the uneasiness that began to mount within you once you noticed the lights in the gym were still on.

“It’s been a while,” he greets.

“Coach,” you return, lowering your head. “I want to apologize for—”

“Save it,” he says, not unkindly. “There’s nothing to apologize for, alright? The team is lucky to have you.”

You manage a grateful smile. “I’ll be back starting next week.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” He starts to walk away, stops himself, and glances into the illuminated building. “I would give him some space, by the way.”

Your uneasiness morphs into anxiety as you watch his broad back retreat into the shadows. You remain outside the gym for a few minutes more, accompanied by the distant melodies of cricket chorales and the muffled squeaking of shoes against laminated hardwood, the harsh sounds of flesh meeting leather.

Briskly, you walk home, rummage around, and return to the gym ten minutes later with your textbook tucked beneath your arm. This time, you unlock and enter the building without a moment of hesitation. 

Hyunjin is positioned multiple yards behind the service line, rotating a volleyball in his hands. A high toss, two resounding steps, and a collision like the crack of a whip. The previous ball has barely landed in the furthest corner of the court when he’s picking up the next, retreating to the same spot to do it all again. His tank top is the color of charcoal over his sweaty skin, his hair auburn where it’s plastered to his neck. He’s alone.

You only catch sight of Hyunjin’s face when you descend the stairs. His expression is crystalline, hardened with concentration and fortified by courage, but fragile all at once, rendered delicate by fatigue and fear, spilling from his every seam and splintering off his person like a broken vase. You recognize it as clearly as if you were looking at a picture of yourself from the worst years of your life.

“I was told to give you space,” you call out, and Hyunjin drops the volleyball he’s holding.

His lips fall apart. Nothing comes out of them. The only sounds to follow are your footsteps as you make your way towards the bleachers, a vertical wall of plastic now that they’ve been retracted for the night. You fold your legs into a criss-cross as you take a seat at their base.

“Is this enough space?”

More silence. You gesture to the volleyball nervously.

“Don’t make me go further, please. I’m not ready to die.”

Finally, this earns you a smile. It’s not much, but it loosens the nervous coils in your heart, permits your lungs to contract once more, and it remains on his face as he swipes the ball back into his hands. You open your textbook.

The rest of the night elapses in turning pages and soaring volleyballs. You don’t care for minutes or hours; you give him all the time in the world, as he did you.

The only time you glance at the clock on the wall is around midnight, when Hyunjin hobbles to the middle of the court and collapses. You’re worried at first. Then he rolls onto his back and releases a guttural groan into his hands, and your held breath comes out a laugh. You set down your book and stand up.

There’s a lake of perspiration forming around him. You pay it no mind and flop onto the floor, your eyes instantly narrowing beneath the fluorescent lights. 

“How do you see under these things?”

“I don’t,” he returns. “I complained about it to Coach once.”

“And?”

“He made them brighter.” Sounds about right.

Hyunjin spends the next few minutes catching his breath, his chest rising and falling in your peripheral vision. You sift through your mind for phrases of consolation or gestures of support and come up empty. You wish you had Hyunjin’s way with words.

But you think about the way his smile reached his eyes as he thanked you for caring about him, the tenderness with which he caught your hand at the arcade, the I give a fuck about you he blurted before ending the study call. You think about the voice note. It’s not that Hyunjin has a way with words; it’s that he’s brave enough to break the silences that you can’t, like he perceives your anxiety for the aftermath, shouldering the responsibility so you won’t have to.

This cannot be his burden alone.

You inhale. “What’s on your mind?”

Hyunjin doesn’t answer right away. You give up on squinting and close your eyes. The lights are still bright enough to dance around the murky darkness.

“I don’t think I know how to put it into words.”

You nearly laugh; you know how that feels. “Don’t think, just talk. I’m here.”

The same advice you gave yourself seems to work on him as well.

“Do you remember Ishikawa Yuki?”

His role model.

“He’s currently playing for a club team in Italy called Allianz Milano.” He blows out a deep breath. “I’ve been talking to their coach, Roberto Piazza, for the last six months.”

The gears in your head creak in their effort to process the implications of these words. “Holy shit, Hwang.”

“He emailed again, this morning. Said he was coming to the tournament later this month, he’s excited to see me play in person, whatever. And it hit me, finally, that this is all real. Like, this is actually happening to me. I spent all of today freaking out and asked Coach to let me stay back after practice. Usually, it wears out my brain if I tire my body, but it only half-worked today. I couldn’t wrap my head around anything. I still can’t.

“I am who I am because of that man, and now…I have a shot at playing with him. I keep asking myself why I’m not—not happier. I should be bouncing off the fucking walls, no? If I told my past self that this would be happening to him one day, he—he would—”

You open your eyes, confused by the sudden silence.

Hyunjin is sitting up next to you, staring intensely into the bleachers. You first notice the tip of his tongue prodding into his cheek, then his shuddering breath. He lifts a hand to his face, pressing against his eyes.

You stop thinking after that.

You sit up with him. When you settle your fingers around his wrist, he allows you to pull his hand back to his side. But he turns away as if trying to hide from you; he squeezes his eyes shut as if that would obstruct your view of his pain.

You reach to cradle his face, bringing him back to you. The cuff of your sleeves wipe at the saltwater on his cheeks, push the hair off his forehead with gentle sweeps. The two of you are close, close enough that your lips would meet the space between his eyes if you so much as lost your balance. His gaze traverses to your face, but you resolve not to meet it. You know you will traipse into uncharted territory the moment you do.

“Don’t fight it.” You trace over the hill of his cheek. “Healing becomes easier if you let yourself hurt. Trust me, Hyunjin.”

His first name should feel foreign on your tongue, yet you suspect the syllables have accompanied you all your life.

“You don’t have to continue if you can’t.”

“S’okay.” Hyunjin lifts your hand away from his face, presses a kiss to the base of your palm. “I want to.”

You feel yourself stumble ungracefully into the uncharted territory from before; does he do the same?

“I used to play volleyball on this expanse of cracked blacktop, behind my primary school. It was pretty brutal on my feet—I blew through so many different pairs of sneakers my mom almost made me quit.” He smiles at the memory. “But every time I came close to quitting, I’d go home and rewatch the same USA vs. Poland match from the 2008 Summer Olympics I asked my dad to record, and I’d promise myself it would be me on some other kid’s screen someday.

“That kid would tell everyone who’d listen about how cool I am. That I’m a secret superhero. That I’m living proof humans can fly if they really, really try—just like I talked about the volleyball players I grew up watching on my TV.

“The other day, Coach told me that hope would consume me. I thought it was just some senile drivel at the time, but..I think I get what he means now. I would do anything and everything to make that kid proud—even if it meant losing myself.” He lowers his head, auburn strands falling into his eyes. “That’s what’s on my mind.”

Amidst the ensuing pause, a storm approaches. It does not come in the form of rain or snow, sleet or hail, no; it is a gathering of words unsaid and emotions unacknowledged, all emerging from the deepest chambers of your heart in synchrony. The same entities you used to scapegoat for all the times things were awkward between you and Hyunjin when you were the culprit all along. You and your blind cowardice.

The storm tears open the seam of your lips. You do not resist; it’s long overdue.

“Every time Changbin sees you, he turns into a smitten schoolgirl,” you say. “He is physically unable to contain how endearing he finds you. He told me so himself.”

Hyunjin looks at you with widened eyes. You think you can see your own reflection in them, and you are the spitting image of a lighter dropped into gasoline, unstoppable in your vehemence.

“Jeongin comes to you for advice before anyone else,” you continue, “even for things related to school—which I still find hard to believe, I’m not gonna lie. But you have his best interests in mind, and it shows in everything you do for him. Of course your opinion matters more than anything in the world.

“I know you think he can’t stand you, but you are the reason Coach Bang loves this job, why he loves this sport. It’s written all over his face every time he calls you something mean, every time he makes you run another lap, every time he looks at you. You’re like a son to him. Everyone sees it but you.”

“Then there’s me.” You pause to catch your breath. “When I think about what my life used to be, I remember a lot of things. I remember loneliness. Insecurity. I remember my books and my backgammon boards and the way I taught myself to disappear inside them so the world would never find me. I remember avoiding mirrors like a vampire because I didn’t like seeing my own reflection. I remember feeling like I had to put on someone else’s personality every time I left the house because nobody would want to know me for me. All I ever wanted was a place where I could be myself, love myself, without consequence. I have yet to find that place.

“But I found a person. Someone who wouldn’t know time and place if they kicked his dick into his body. Someone who thinks instant ramen is high in nutritional value because it comes with dried vegetables. Someone who sweats the same amount of rain the Sahara Desert receives yearly—your body is not normal, by the way.”

Hyunjin giggles; it is soft and short, a small, tearful huff into the quiet air that makes you feel like you’re flying.

“Don’t get me wrong,” you say. “Your sense of humor sucks and your taste in coffee is so boring and you are the one with no media literacy, not Professor Kim. But I love spending time with you. I love who I am when I’m around you. And none of that has to do with volleyball.”

The next time you blink, you discover that he’s not the only one with tears in his eyes. How long has that been going on?

“There’s so much about you to be proud of, Hyunjin.” You give him a watery smile. “That kid will be spoiled for choice.”

When Hyunjin pulls you into his arms, you fall into each other like going to bed after a long day. Your face burrows into the crook of his neck in your embarrassment; he is laughing and crying at the same time when he mumbles something into your shoulder: “I knew you cared about me.”

You are so happy for the comedic relief you could sob. It helps that you already are.

“How the fuck are you still sweaty?” You choke out, and you think you like his cologne after all.

Six days later, Hyunjin opens the door of his apartment.

A fun-sized flurry of black and white barrages into the hallway outside and almost runs headfirst into the figure waiting there. You fall to your knees like you’ve just been gravely wounded, emitting an ear-piercing wail to match. All it takes is a few good head scratches for Kkami to stop yipping bloody murder and start whining for attention instead. 

Upon minute five of watching you and his dog cuddle in the hallway directly outside his home, Hyunjin sighs.

“Can you come inside, please? My RA will think I’m doing some freaky shit again.”

You side-eye him as you walk into his apartment, Kkami perched happily in your arms. “What, exactly, does freaky shit entail?”

He smirks as the door falls shut. “You want me to tell you or show you?”

You turn to Kkami, disgusted. “Your owner’s a bit of a pervert, my dear.”

Kkami licks you on the chin. Hyunjin’s eyes narrow to slits.

“Traitor.”

Naturally, Hyunjin’s parents chose the eve of his final anthropology exam—and the week before the tournament that will determine the trajectory of his career—to ask him to look after Kkami for a few days. He nearly canceled their plane tickets himself, but his impromptu roommate is currently ransacking your face with kisses on his couch, and he thinks your laugh complements his studio better than any decoration. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” He calls from the kitchen area.

You meander over, Kkami (still) perched happily in your arms. “What do you have?” 

“Alcohol.” He opens his fridge far enough so you can peer over his shoulder. “Americanos.”

He stops speaking.

“Is that all?”

“Yes. Wait—and apple juice.”

“You are about to be a professional athlete.”

“What the Italians don’t know won’t hurt them. You want apple juice, don’t you? I can see it in your eyes.”

“Maybe. Can you open it for me? My hands are full.”

Hyunjin does so with far less reluctance than he feigns. You thank him jubilantly, popping the straw into your mouth.

“Let’s get this over with.”

At 10:32 P.M., all is calm. You are sitting on the floor, your back against the side of his mattress. Hyunjin is where the universe intended: curled up in bed, both him and his laptop lying on their sides. You have studied eight out of ten units in only two and a half hours, and the night is still young. Kkami is but a fluffy, sleepy Oreo by your waist.

At 10:33 P.M., the Oreo begins to retch.

You startle a foot into the air. Hyunjin is out of bed and on his feet in the blink of an eye, the very image of a dog dad on duty. He grabs three different things off the kitchen counter with one hand and scoops up the long-haired chihuahua with the other, and then he’s kicking open the door.

Seungmin appears out of thin air carrying two heaping bags of groceries. Hyunjin nearly knocks him and a month’s worth of fresh produce down four flights of stairs.

“Hyun—Kkami?” Seungmin swivels. “Yo, what the fuck is—”

Hyunjin is already out the door.

A few minutes later, Hyunjin squats off to the side, pouring fresh water into a portable dog bowl. A little ways away, Kkami is throwing up ebulliently; a set of footsteps approaches.

“What is this thing?” Seungmin squats down next to Hyunjin, picking up the piece of patterned fabric lying on the grass. 

“Kkami gets sad after throwing up,” he sighs. “His blanket makes him feel better.”

Seungmin watches the chihuahua for a few moments, a soft flinch crimping his features. “He ate too fast again?”

Hyunjin rakes a hand through his hair. “I don’t get it. Nobody’s gonna take his food from him.”

Seungmin laughs. “I didn’t even know he was on campus.”

“I picked him up last night. My parents are traveling for work—they say hi, by the way.”

“I say hi back. I miss your mom’s cooking.”

“Me too,” Hyunjin says, smiling. “She would love to cook for you again—she’s always saying you’re too skinny.”

“She really is.”

A beat passes; it is then that Hyunjin has an epiphany.

Seungmin was the one who put a volleyball in his hands for the first time. Back then, Hyunjin was the lesser troublemaker between the two of them—a concept that neither of them can wrap their heads around to this day. Seungmin suggested they use the clotheslines in Hyunjin’s backyard as a makeshift net, despite Hyunjin’s dissuading; half of Hyunjin’s father’s wardrobe caught on fire, Seungmin had a black eye for a week, and nobody knows what happened to that volleyball. The two of them have been attached at the hip ever since.

It is a crazy thing, having your best friend as a teammate; a singular flick of the wrist or a point of his shoe and Seungmin will know exactly Hyunjin wants the ball down to the net’s fraying fibers; Hyunjin will be exactly where Seungmin needs him down to the flecks of paint on the volleyball court. Hyunjin has always been Seungmin’s hitter—Seungmin, always Hyunjin’s setter. Nothing will ever change between them so long as that remains the case.

At least, that’s what Hyunjin used to think.

Learning that Seungmin was in a relationship was as much a wake-up call for Hyunjin as it was for you. At first, he was just fucking pissed; how could Seungmin be so stupid as to turn down someone like you, especially when Hyunjin had shot his mouth off about his wingman services? More importantly, how long had his best friend of eighteen years been in love, and why was he the last to know? 

Only now, as they wait for his nine-year-old chihuahua to finish barfing, does Hyunjin realize that he can’t remember the last time he and Seungmin talked. Not “talked” as in a brief exchange inside the locker room or the lecture hall, about a new approach he wants to try or what Seungmin got on number four or if he wants a ride to practice—“talked” as in talked, about Hyunjin, about Seungmin, about the eighteen years they shared, about all the years yet to come.

Hyunjin sees his setter every day; he stopped looking for his friend a long time ago. 

“Yeonwoo, right?”

He senses surprise in Seungmin without having to look at him. But he also senses a smile, a subtle show that Seungmin recognizes what he’s trying to do—and forgives him.

“Yeonwoo,” Seungmin affirms. “We’re in the same songwriting intensive this semester.”

“Also a singer?”

He shakes his head. “Piano player. Performed at the Carnegie Hall in the United States at, like, seven years old. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so talented.”

“Wow, that’s—hi, old man. You done?”

Kkami walks over with his head hung low and tail between his legs, and Hyunjin hurries to drape the pup in his favorite blanket, pulling the bowl of water in front of him in tandem. Seungmin runs a hand over the top of Kkami’s head as he hydrates.

“You’ve suffered,” he tells him solemnly, and Hyunjin snorts.

“As I was saying—that’s crazy to hear, coming from the most talented person I know. You guys looked so good together.”

“Thanks. It’s weird. I’m happy.”

“You deserve it. You really do, Kim.” They exchange smiles, and Hyunjin gives Seungmin a playful nudge. “When are you introducing us?”

“The arcade wasn’t enough?”

“Don’t insult me.”

“Whenever you want, then.”

“Dinner with my mom, dinner with Yeonwoo,” Hyunjin recounts. “I’m holding you to it.”

“Bet.”

They shake on it. If Hyunjin wasn’t already reassured by Seungmin’s smile, he knows by his clasp around his hand that they’ll be okay.

“What about you?” Seungmin asks. “Are you together yet?”

Hyunjin knew this was coming. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Seungmin strings his hands together, letting them dangle in the space between his knees. “Someone you have questions for that you’re too scared to ask. Someone who’s lived in your mind since the day you met. There’s someone like that, isn’t there?”

Hyunjin pokes his tongue into his cheek. 

Ever since that night on the gym floor, Hyunjin’s been having these dreams. By the time his alarm goes off in the morning, every detail of the dream has eluded him, leaving behind only a ghost of emotion, akin to the breeze that grazes your face moments after walking past another person.

But then he’ll get out of bed, and walk to that café on the east side of campus, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. There, he’ll order a vanilla latte with extra sweetener, then turn around to see you standing five feet away, holding an Americano and trying not to laugh. And he’ll just know, with everything in him, that you are where his head goes when he’s not keeping watch.

He still addresses you by the pet names you hate. He still finds any excuse to be close to you; he still pesters you like a child with a crush. But now, he calls you his baby like one wishes on a star; his eyes drift to your lips every time you’re within two feet of each other; he makes fun of your likes and dislikes only because he’s happy to know about them at all. Ever since that night on the gym floor.

It’s impossible for nothing and everything to change at once. Two people teetering on the precipice of something cannot withstand a gust of wind so powerful. He’s already hanging off the ledge, losing his grip; where are you?

Next to him, Seungmin lets out a soft laugh. “There is.”

Hyunjin doesn’t know what to say.

“It might’ve been me, at some point,” he hums, returning his hand to scratch the back of Kkami’s ears. “But it has always been you, Hyun.”

Four floors above them and inside Hyunjin’s place, you are pacing between his fridge and his bed, nervously awaiting his and Kkami’s return.

Something catches your eye, wide and flat and hung on the wall by his bathroom door. You approach it curiously, your lips pulling into a fond smile the moment you realize all that’s in front of you.

Many of the photographs are of Hyunjin: him in his preteens, dead asleep in bed while dressed head to toe in volleyball gear, braces visible because his mouth is open; an action shot taken at what must’ve been a U21 match, the South Korean flag stitched into the shoulder of his jersey; him with half a birthday cake in front of him and the rest smeared all over his face. There are headlines, too: Underdog team earns district’s first high school volleyball state title; Hwang Hyunjin proves himself worthy of “ace spiker” label at South Korea V. Croatia U19 match; Coach Bang “Christopher” Chan leads Seoul National University to second consecutive KUL championship. There’s one—Who is Hwang Hyunjin? Meet the twenty-year-old instigant of South Korea’s imminent volleyball revolution—beside which he’s written the singular word “mouthful.” You laugh; you agree.

But pinned to the corkboard is also a photograph of Minho, surrounded by stray cats in the alleyway outside a K-BBQ restaurant; his parents cradling Kkami in an apple costume; his high school volleyball team silhouetted against a pretty sunset. Him and Seungmin as kids, covered in grime and scrapes but beaming nonetheless; him and Seungmin at age nineteen, stadium lights on their backs, unadulterated elation on their faces as they charge towards each other, beaming still. Changbin piggybacking Felix through the hallways of the gym, neither of them wearing a shirt; Jisung offering Coach Bang a beer while the latter looks direly unamused (you make a mental note to ask about that one later); what looks like a Rock Lee cosplayer grimacing in the middle of your anthropology classroom.

You rush forward as if decreed by gravitational force. Not too far away is another picture of you, in which you boast a Miffy headband and a face full of foaming cleanser. Then another, your eyes narrowed like that of a sniper taking aim as you’re playing Tetris; you with so many volleyballs piled into your arms that you can’t see your own face; your cheeks squished by a bandaged hand after you lost a bet about pandas (they can swim); you clutching your stomach on the library floor, brought to hysterical tears by Professor Kim’s email. You, you, you.

You bring your pointer finger to this last image, tracing it over the curve of your own cheek. You see a dimple on your face you didn’t know you had. You realize it only comes out for him.

It has always been him.

The front door opens. A man with telephone poles for legs and a long-haired chihuahua in his arms appears behind it. You sense in him that something has changed since you last saw each other. The two of you lock eyes. 

It’s not awkward this time.

Multiple yards behind the service line, Hyunjin is rotating a volleyball in his hands. It feels solid and sentient, an extension of himself held in cotton-clad fingers. He knows how this story will end.

He moves his eyes to his best friend’s back. Four fingers flash back at him twice, signaling a high lob set to the left, the very play they’ve practiced tirelessly for the last five weeks. The breath Hyunjin blows out of his cheeks seems to crystallize in the air, almost solid in all its exhilaration. 

He bends low and throws high. His arms drop behind his body like a spread of feathered wings; his feet fall into place below him like a meteor shower, two consecutive strikes against the earth that fissure its mantle. The lights overhead are bright. His palm pulls taut when it slams into leather. He knows how this story will end.

The volleyball tears towards the ground. It trembles as if scared by all that it holds: the guarantee of a flawless denouement, the catalyst of a radiant future. Hyunjin’s heart is beating hard enough to crack his ribs when he lands back on the ground, when the volleyball lands in the furthest corner of the court. He’s not scared at all.

He balls his fingers into fists.

“JUST LIKE LAST YEAR, BACK TO BACK ON AN ACE—”

An arm seizes Hyunjin’s neck; another drags him onto the floor. His head thuds onto the hardwood with a sound he hears over the whole world detonating. His vision fills with the faces of the people he cares for most, some covered in tears and others rivaling the ceiling with their blinding smiles. He can’t feel most of his body; his sweat drips into his mouth. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care.

“—DEFENDING THEIR TITLE FOR THE THIRD CONSECUTIVE YEAR—”

His eyes find Seungmin’s among the fray. Their hands clap together with such force that Hyunjin cusses at the impact. Seungmin’s gaze burns into his with a ferocity that Hyunjin plans to take to his grave. His setter. His best friend.

He says something inaudible, but Hyunjin reads the words off his lips, and his eyes fill with tears: we win everything.

“—YOUR NATIONAL CHAMPIONS: SEOUL NATIONAL UNIVERSITY!”

Hyunjin’s post-game interview is a lawless affair. He is allowed at most half an answer before a new teammate is barreling over with an animalistic screech or a new friend is screaming congratulations from out of frame.

The reporter is visibly agitated by her final question, unpursing her lips to ask: “Is there anyone you’d like to thank?”

Hyunjin exhales. “You want the short answer or the long—”

Changbin seizes him by the head. Hyunjin bursts into a peal of high-pitched laughter as the libero litters kisses all over his face, nearly crumpling to the floor in his attempt to escape.

“Love you,” he yells before hurrying off. 

“Love you too, Bin.”

Hyunjin turns a sheepish smile to the reporter.

“The short answer,” she deadpans.

He starts counting off his fingers. He thanks his family—his first and last teammates, his eternal anchors. His other family, his actual teammates, the best boys he’s ever known. His coach, who will let him call him Chris someday. His best friend and setter, Kim Seungmin, who set a clothesline on fire once and changed his life forever.

In the distance, a figure emerges from the locker rooms. There’s a navy blue SNU banner draped over your shoulders, two overflowing duffel bags in your hands. Jisung and Jeongin run over to take them from you, and the smile you give them is wide and flushed, a remnant of the elation you shared from afar. The three of you start walking out of the gym.

Hyunjin thanks you.

You didn’t ask for the position, he tells the reporter, but some idiot roped you into it, and they’re all so grateful that you decided to stick around. You know the team better than they know themselves—it’s hard to believe you’ve been with them for five weeks instead of five years.

What are you like? What aren’t you like, is the better question. You’re caring, smart, strong; you see so much goodness in the people around you, all while unaware that it is your warmth that brings it out of them. Flowers only bloom in the sun’s doting radius, and so did he.

You have the sort of soul that incurs the scorn of the stars. They are the only ones to deserve you, they'd argue; you’re wasting your potential among humans when you belong to the sky, and they’d be right.

Hyunjin pokes his tongue into his cheek, suddenly annoyed.

“Why the fuck am I still talking to you?” 

“Pardon?” The reporter returns, but Hyunjin is already vaulting over the bleachers, making a mad dash for the exit. She gives her cameraman an affronted glare. He shrugs.

He explodes onto the concrete, looking around in a frantic haze. He finds the blue banner heading toward the team bus and flanked by his teammates with ease.

He calls out to you.

You glance backwards. Your smile is purely effulgent, your laugh but a faint sigh against the area’s busy thrum. His heart is pounding against his ribs like a battering ram again, but he’s used to this feeling by now. Jeongin and Jisung make themselves scarce.

You’re beautiful. God, you’re fucking beautiful. That was the first thought to enter his mind when he spilled an iced Americano on your lap all those months ago and you looked at him like he hailed from another planet. And it is the first thought to enter his mind now, when he runs up to you and cradles your face in his hands, his touch infinitely, impossibly gentle, and you look at him like he’s everything that has ever existed, everything that ever will. 

Tendrils of your body spray reach him from here, floral and light like a tropical coastline. He could’ve counted your eyelashes—if he didn’t have something far better to do.

“Tell me now if you don’t want me to do this,” he whispers.

A stupid smile crosses the face of the smartest person he knows. “My lips are sealed.”

Hyunjin kisses you. He kisses you until the banner around your shoulders is wrinkled under his touch, until your hands are tangled in his hair and aching his scalp, until the breaths you take are breaths you share, passed between your mouths like a puff of smoke before they’re colliding again.

He kisses you until he’s crying, again, until he’s no longer tasting your lips but your grin, and he kisses you only harder when those scornful stars start to dance before him, for you are his, not theirs, and he’s really won everything, now.

“Hwang, I need you in my office.”

Six months later, Hyunjin sees Coach Bang standing a few yards away with a grim air about him. He stops in his footsteps and glances at his captain, confused.

“I know nothing,” Seungmin says, walking away. “Good luck!”

“Thanks, cap.” Hyunjin swears he’s had this exact exchange before.

Head volleyball coach Christopher Bang’s workspace still reminds Hyunjin of a morgue. But there are two picture frames on his desk now: one of his family in front of the Sydney Opera House, the other of a band of boys clad in navy blue, draped over one another in exhausted bliss. The latter lends the room a much-needed sense of vitality. Too bad it still houses a rusty cyborg.

Hyunjin closes the door and takes a seat. Bang taps a knuckle against the tempered glass of his monitor. “Read.”

From: Nicola Daldello «ndaldello@pvm.com» To: Bang “Christopher” Chan «cb97@snu.edu» Subject: Re: Allianz Milano V. Pallavolo Perugia practice game Christopher, Allow me to apologize for my delayed response as I shared your request with Chairman Piazza. It is my great pleasure to inform you that we would love for Mr. Hwang Hyunjin to participate in our practice game versus Pallavolo Perugia. The match is scheduled for Monday, October 7th, 5-7 P.M. CET in the Giurati Sports Centre in Milan. Mr. Hwang will be playing for Allianz Milano as an outside hitter alongside Mr. Matey Kaziyski, Mr. Osniel Mergarejo, and Mr. Ishikawa Yuki. Please let me know of your availability to call regarding Mr. Hwang’s travel logistics. His transportation and lodging costs will be paid for by the club. I’m looking forward to speaking with you and welcoming Mr. Hwang to Italy once and for all. Yours, Nicola Daldello Assistant Coach, Allianz Milano

“I told you, some opportunities just present themselves,” Bang says, turning his monitor back around. “As for next steps, I need a holistic calendar view of your entire month of October, including social ev—Hwang, is that foam coming out of your mo—NOT ON MY CARPET! HWANG!”

In a park about a ten minute walk away, a small crowd of elderly people are scattered across a few stone tables, hunched over the fading chess boards painted into the granite surfaces. Mrs. Choi whisks away Mrs. Baek’s king with a triumphant yelp.

“I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! That opening is unbeatable!” She swivels towards you, shaking a fist threateningly. “You! Get over here. Your reign is over.”

You are sitting cross-legged in the shade of a broad magnolia tree, clearing out your storage. You tried to take a picture of a particularly rotund pigeon to send to Hyunjin earlier and couldn’t even do that. It was then you decided you couldn't live like this anymore.

“As excited as I am to beat you again, Mrs. Choi, I need ten more minutes,” you call back. 

She presents you with an unpleasant hand gesture. You turn your attention back to your phone, grinning. Two new notifications sit at the top of your lock screen.

Hyunjin: Omw now. Sorry had to talk to Chris Hyunjin: Same park? Y/N: yes Hyunjin: Who’s our opponent today Y/N: mrs. choi Hyunjin: Not that bitch again Y/N: ?

He’ll be here in eight minutes.

You return to the task at hand. You’ve already cleared out your apps, your documents, and videos; all that’s left is the audio files. You conduct a quick mental review. Surely you’ll live without your downloaded music and accidental voice memos.

Instead of hitting the “delete” button, you extract a pair of tangled earphones from your jacket pocket.

You go back to your texts with Hyunjin, open the shared attachments tab, and scroll for a long time before you find the voice note he sent you seven months ago.

He finds you a sobbing mess.

“Hey, hey, whoa.” He’s on his knees in an instant, gathering your hands into his, a world of concern in the brown of his eyes. Your earbuds fall out and clatter onto the cement below. “Baby, what’s happening? Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you say in a flustered haste. “Yes, I’m okay. I don’t—I don’t really know what’s happening.”

“Did that hag do this to you?” He asks this question so seriously. “I’ll beat up a senior citizen, I don’t give a fuck—”

“No!” You let out an ugly laugh through your tears. “No, no. Leave Mrs. Choi alone.”

“Then what is it? What’s wrong?”

Eventually, your vision clears enough for you to look at the man kneeling in front of you. His roots grow out longer every day, his hair by now nearly equal parts gold and black. A spot of sunlight infiltrates the magnolia leaves and lands on his left eye, turning it the hue of melted bronze.

Your fingers drift to the sides of his beautiful face as you lean in close; he smells like a combination of smoky rose and tropical coastlines.

“I’ll tell you later,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to his hairline. 

He is dissatisfied with this, hooking a pointer finger beneath your chin, guiding your face back to his. He laves the saltwater from your lips, your tongue, and then you’re smiling again, barely able to remember why you cried in the first place.

You rest your foreheads together. “Have I told you that you look like a bumblebee these days?”

He smiles. “Does that make you my flower, then?”

“Because you’re irresistably drawn to me?”

“No, because I wanna put my pollen in—”

You shove him away. “You are grotesque.”

He returns in a flash. “You love me.”

You kiss him again. And again. And one more time for good measure, during which you mumble I do against his lips, and then you remember something.

“Why did Coach hold you back, by the way?” You pull away, tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. “Are you in trouble again?”

“No, no. The opposite, actually.”

Your brow furrows. “The opposite? What—”

“In this lifetime, please,” Mrs. Choi hollers from the chess tables. You roll your eyes. Hyunjin smiles helplessly.

“Duty calls, my love.”

“Tell me your thing later too?”

“Of course.”

You dust yourself off and stand up, making your way to the battleground. But not before you whisper to Hyunjin, “now watch me beat up a senior citizen.”

He laughs with his whole body, his eyes the shape of crescent moons, his mouth a little rectangle.

“Hypocrite.”

Hyunjin: [1 Audio Message]

This is my seventh take and I’m not recording an eighth. What you get is what you get. I don’t care anymore.

I understand if you don’t wanna talk about what happened at the arcade. I wouldn’t, either. I just wanted to say that you don’t have to do this tutoring thing anymore. I won’t be able to fulfill my end of our deal, so…yeah, it wouldn’t be fair to you. You’ve already done so much for us. For me.

As for team manager, you’ll have to talk to Minho and Coach Bang if you wanna quit. Doesn’t sound like a fun conversation, I know—but if that’s what you decide, I’ll have your back. They don’t scare me. Well, they do. But only sometimes.

You’ve been…distant, this week. I’ve known peace and quiet for the first time since we met, and I fucking hate it. I realized I couldn’t care less if you’re my tutor or my team manager or whatever—I just don’t want you to be a stranger. Maybe that’s selfish of me to say, but I’m tired of pretending the idea of losing you doesn’t terrify me. It does. It really fucking does.

I’m gonna end this here, because I almost just stopped recording on accident and I’ll genuinely commit homicide if I have to do all this again. Sorry that this got so long, and…I’m sorry about everything. You deserve better.

Come back to me whenever you’re ready, okay? I’ll be waiting.

🔖 (send an ask to be added)・@astraystayyh・@like-a-diamondinthesky・@fire-08・@starsandrqindrops・@txtxlz・@laylasbunbunny・@strayghibli・@nuronhe・@seungminsapuppy・@vivisoni・@moon0fthenight・@sweetpickledjins・@svintsandghosts・@nhyunn ・@ur-boyfiend・@liknws・@hotgorloikawa・@randomwimp・@automaticpersonabatpaper・@aceofvernons・@linos-kitten・@newhope8・@weedforthoughtz・@hyunverse

© 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐱 (est. 090323) · liked this work? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support ♡

[rairecs]

title: maximum accident author: martyrsdaughter rating: explicit wordcount: 60600 pairing: bang chan/lee felix summary:

There's a terrible moment of silence once Chan finishes explaining their plan. Felix considers making a run for the door, but one of the members would probably tackle him first.

“So we’re not going with my plan to call Dispatch and make out with one of my friends outside?” Changbin asks, pouting a little. “I have a make-out boy on speed dial.”

“You still use speed dial?” Minho asks. “Are you my dongsaeng or what?”

After agreeing to a company–mandated romantic relationship for the cameras, Felix is forced to reexamine some long-held beliefs about his feelings for Chan.

link

[c0llisiion]

★Pairing: lee know x bang chan + f!reader

★genre: smut

★: npr, drabble , threesome , bf!minho x reader x chan , filth , oral , cum eating , unprotected sex — lmk if i missed any!!

★W/C: 916

A/N: 2 posts back to back?! wrote this fic back in oct of 2023 and was js letting it rot in my drafts 😭 so I finally decided to post it hehe FIRST SKZ FICS AH- enjoy pookies <3 (p.s i was rlly h0rknee for minchan when i wrote this so please have mercy.)

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ MDNI. Please refrain from reading if the topics make you uncomfortable. ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

  "Fuck fuck fuck fuck" were the only words echoing throughout the room, along with the sound of your skin clapping against Chan's abdomen. "Fuck c-chan, right..the-re," you said in between loud moans. Chan was fucking you mercilessly. Ass up, and your face is buried in the pillow, collecting your hot tears.

You could feel a pair of eyes burning into your body as Chan kept fucking you. It was your boyfriend. Minho. He was sitting in the corner, watching every move and analyzing every sound you were making. To begin with, it was his idea to have Chan fuck you. He insisted on it. “Fuck Minho How are you ever able to control yourself when you are with her ... F-fuckkk” Chan said. But Minho ignored his words and just kept staring at you. He was growing jealous. Hearing you moan like this over another man's cock was not sitting right with him. Minho got up from his place and climbed on the bed to face you. Chan got the signal and pulled your arm back, and his pace slowed down. This made you face Minhos crotch. He lifted your chin up using his fingers. You were looking up at him with teary eyes and a fucked-out face. His eyes were filled with lust and rage.. "You liked getting fucked by other men, huh?" He said it tauntingly. You shook your head. "Look, how well you are taking Chan’s cock? It feels good, right?" You shook your head once again. He slapped you, not too harshly. He leaned in closer. "Now don't say that, baby. You know how much it will hurt Channie Hyung?" Chan thrust harshly into you, making your face contort in pleasure. He looked at the older man and gave him a wink. You could see the way he was grinning. "Do you want to have Channie's cock or my cock inside of you now?" ,, "Y-y-you" he shoved his fingers into your mouth. Playing with your tongue. "You are not going to get it, love." Your face turned sad. Minho put his hand behind your head, gathering a handful of your hair. He pulled out his dick. "Let me fuck your face." He said it with a devilish smirk on his face. "Open wide, doll.." Chan leaned in and whispered in your ears. Minho tapped your cheek with his dick, and you opened your mouth willingly. He quickly shoved it in and started fucking your face. Your eyes filling up. Loud, muffled moans left your mouth as Chan started abusing your puffy cunt once again while Minho fucked into your mouth with no care. His grip on your hair tightened as you gagged and spasmed around his length, your throat perfectly molded for his dick. Minhos eyes were closed and his head thrown back; eyebrows furrowed as curses left his mouth. “S-shitt… You are doing so well, baby..” he said while pushing away the stray hairs on your face. Chan, on the other hand, was fucking you into tomorrow. His hands were on your ass cheeks, spreading them as he observed the way you sucked in his cock. "Minho, look at how well she is taking me … “ he praised you. Minho smirked. “Ya hear that slut? You like being someone else’s fuck toy, don't you?” You moaned against his dick. You felt Chans dick twitch inside of you, as well as Minhos, signaling that they were close. “Im going to fuck!” Chan loudly cursed at how you clenched around him. He eventually pulled out, the sudden emptiness making you whine and cry more. He started jerking himself off, trying to reach his final high. Minho did the same; he made you lay on your back as they both kneeled in front of your face. Their hands were picking up pace as they started jerking themselves. curses after curses left their mouths. You laid there as you fondled with their heavy cum filled balls. “G-give it to me.. please.. fuck- i need your cum all over my face…” 

Chan busted over your chest and body. A heavy load of his creamy, clear cum coated your sweaty body. You moaned and coughed, spreading the mixture all over your swollen tits using chans Hand. Chan groaned as he watched you take his fingers and put them in your mouth, sucking and licking his cum-covered digits with a sultry smile. You turned to Minho before using your hands to guide his own down his length. “Cum on my face minho.. need it so bad… i need you.. come on you can do it..” you encourage him, as he seemed to be struggling. “Fuck-“ Minho grunted as he watched suck on his tip while you stared into his eyes. Within a blink of an eye, Minho shot his load onto your face. You let him paint your face with his cum. Your eye getting glued shut by the sticky substance. He took deep breaths, his eyes focused on the way your lips licked his cum off of them. Minho’s thumb scooped the glob of cum that was on your eye before spreading it over your clean lips and pushing his thumb through your lips for you to suck on. He had a shit-eating smirk on his face as he watched you. You turned over to look at Chan, who laid next to you, caressing your bruised hip. You gave him a smile.“Was I a good girl?” You asked both of them.

“The bestest girl.”

A/N: THANKS 4 READINGGGG! ILYSMMMM reblogs and comments are appreciated! Lmk if I should write more skz smut eheh

[luumiinaa]

that moment you step out of your comfort zone, and you gain beautiful bonds and more 💗

past, present, future → b.chan

synopsis: Your best friend drags you to his high school reunion against your will, and never have you encountered such chaos. Alternatively, you go on the journey of making more friends, and a potential lover.

genre: high school acquaintances to lovers au; fluff, one second of angst

pairing: bang chan x reader

word count: 14.4k

warnings: explicit language, alcohol consumption, kinda dialogue heavy (oops)

note: i am BACK with this mess of a fic. it took me too long to finish this, and i apologise for any shitty writing :3 thanks to my little babie @curanonemu​ for making sure i finished this and supporting me as usual muAH. new formatting on posts too weeeee (new year, new me fsdhfgs jk no)!! also, synopsis kinda sucks i’m sorry :P hope y’all enjoy! x

i.

You did not want to go for your high school reunion dinner. 

High school is a time for many that is either the best, or worst time of their lives. Forever friends are found there and painstakingly embarrassing memories are made in run down buildings with people you care about. Except, you didn’t have any such attachments. 

Those three years were nothing but a filler for you as you studied, helped out in the library, and hung out with one person you called your best friend. 

And on top of it all, it wasn’t even a high school reunion dinner meant for you.

Keep reading

[bee-the-loser-recs]

~☼ My Bang Chan One-shot Fic Recs ☼~~

��� More than just friends By @kwanisms 7.4k, supernatural/fantasy au, werewolf Chan, friends to lovers, they're roommates, smut, slight fluff, alcohol consumption

𖤓 Pieces of you By @astraystayyh 8.7k, single dad Chan, neighbours au, fluff, angst, slow burn, mutual pining, Chan comes over asking for flour, first meetings, cute

𖤓 The couple's quiz By @enluv 3.3k, Idol au, established relationship, discussing their relationship, youtube video style, fluff, discussing memories, cute

𖤓 Chan & y/n giving each other the silent treatment, skz take matters into their own hands By @wooyukh SMAU, established relationship, meddling friends, petty arguments, Skz gets involved, missing one another, fluff, friends being silly

𖤓 Skz try exposing y/n’s ‘crush’ on chan in the groupchat By @wooyukh SMAU, established relationship, secret relationship, meddling friends, trying to expose a crush, bets with money involved, jokes, fluff, humour

𖤓 Chan accidentally confesses his feelings for you By @adelusionforyourthoughts SMAU, Idol Chan, accidental confessions, fluff, cute romance, lots of anxiety from both sides, hyperventilating, pining, oblivious idiots in love

𖤓 Sigma kappa zeta’s howlin’ holiday hunks: annual male calendar! By @cbini 14k, college au, frat Stray Kids, holiday calendars, photographer reader, established relationship between Chan & reader, smut, suggestive content, polyamorous in a sense, Stray kids x reader

𖤓 If I was your boyfriend c.bc By @yangkitties SMAU, established relationship, getting sent photos of Chan from the other members, fluff, reader is called mom once by I.N., so cute

𖤓 The Roster [part 1] & [part 2] By @sluttywonwoo 4.4k & 2.8k, Bangchan|Sangyeon|Seungcheol x reader, established hook up partners/fwbs, jealousy, the guys discover about the others, foursome, smut, slight poly situation

𖤓 Full moon By @lilacmingi 5k, werewolf Chan, vampire reader, fluff, established relationship, hidden identities, discovering their identities, really cute 𖤓 Slowly falling in love with Bangchan By @viasdreams SMAU, barista Chan, customer reader, getting to know one another, implied reader like Hyunjin at one point, fluff, cute

𖤓 Giving Han and Bangchan your number By @viasdreams SMAU, barista reader, polyamory, getting to know one another, flirting, going on dates with them both, fluff

𖤓 Random texts you get while dating minchan !! By @viasdreams SMAU, established relationship, polyamory, ganging up at one point on their partner, fluff, humour, slight crack, flirting, suggestive comments

𖤓 Bite me By @hanniebaeee Established relationship, kissing, reader has a thing for lightly biting him, fluff, really cute

𖤓 Texting bang chan happy father’s day (best dad of 7 kids fr) @scoupsofjisung SMAU, established relationship, calling Chan a father to the other stray kids, mentions implied pregnancy, humour, fluff,

𖤓 Probably up By @loveliestfelix 1.9k, friends to lovers? au, reader goes out clubbing alone, realising feelings, fluff, so adorable, inner thoughts, mentions of alcohol

𖤓 Jealousy By @svngcore 1.3k, established relationship, jealousy, someone flirting with Chan, smut, pinch of angst, nicknames, possessiveness, mentions of crying

𖤓 Enjoy the party! By @loveliestfelix 0.8k, established relationship, a staff member is flirting with Chan, chatting with friend Changbin, jealousy, fluff, tiny bit of angst

𖤓 Night again By @chahnniesroom 6.4k, Idol Chan, worker reader, miscommunication, angst, hurt/comfort, reader's health suffers, "clingy reader", insecurities, reader not eating due to stress

𖤓 For richer, for poorer [plus Minho's reaction] By @chahnniesroom 3.4k, established relationship, Idol Chan, poorer/working reader, gift giving, reader makes different crafts, insecurity, anxiety attacks, being worried about gifts, hurt/comfort

𖤓 Let me in your ocean, swim By @skzms 9.9k, Idol Chan, producer reader, self-conscious and clueless Chan, fluff, smut, Stray kids are encouraging them to get together

𖤓 More than just friends By @skzms 7.4k, werewolf Chan, best friends to lovers, roommates au, supernatural au, alcohol consumption, being in heat, smut, fluff

𖤓 Dimple By @forlix 2.8k, college au, frat president Chan, fuckboy Chan, hurt/comfort, fluff, humour, nobody believes your dating trope, character development

𖤓 Cockwarming drabble By @planet-dusk Drabble, established relationship, smut, pet names, reader is called angel and baby, slight fluff

𖤓 Bang Chan finds out you fainted By @finnbbl SMAU, established relationship, reader faints, angst/comfort, mentions of not eating, passing out, swearing, reader hides this from Chan at first

𖤓 Bf!Chan x fem!reader: encouraging you to spend his money By @chlix SMAU, established relationship, fluff, reader gets her nails done, princess treatment, Chan lets reader use his card

𖤓 "Tell me all about it" By @chnsbm 1.2k, established relationship, reader is being contacted about work too late at night, fluffy smut

𖤓 Heimat By @flurrys-creativity 9.8k, Chan x reader x Felix, Studio Gibli au, My Neighbour Totoro, Chan as Totoro, returning to their childhood home, Felix has a childhood friends to lovers arc, reader is terminally ill, illuding to reader's death, angst, fluff

𖤓 Sweet mornings By @moonchild9350 1.4k, established relationship, idol Chan, Chan has just returned home after being away on tour, morning sex, smut, fluff, kissing

[minnie--verse]

First Date Pt. 4/Final part! (Bang Chan x Reader)

!!PART 4/FINALE!!

summary: Day to day life was perfectly uneventful, you wake up, go to work, make coffee, go home, and start all over again. But today... you met Chan. And you continue to meet chan... every day.

pairing: bang chan x f!reader

genre: strangers to lovers, non idol au, crack, mostly fluff, some anger from mc, later chapters to include: slight angst/comfort, slow burn.

general warnings:  barista!mc, slow burn, adult themes including but not limited to: suggestive content, cursing, mentions of death.

word count: ~4.8k

chapter content: mentions of food, coffee shop manager!Changbin, nonidol!Chan, nonidol!Han, first meets, first love flutters.

author's note: The last and final part of my mini series! This was based off the song I Think I Know You by Sarah Barrios and Eric Nam! Please give it a listen for the full experience!! I'm so glad to see so many people who enjoyed this series, I had originally meant to just write it for my best friend and leave it in google drive lol but I figured why not share it with everyone on here anyway yk? ANYWAY PLEASE ENJOY IT!!!

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Chris’s eyes were wide as he stared at you, searching for some kind of answer from your eyes. Something finally broke through to you, and Chris had to know what it was in case it doesn’t happen tomorrow. He had put too much effort and time into you to let this just slip out of his fingers. He let out a soft laugh and moved his head to be in your line of sight. 

“No, no, what did you remember?” Chris persists, smiling through the surprise in his eyes.

You laughed slightly, taking the football from his hands and holding it up, “It’s nothing I just-- I must have dreamt it, but I remember playing this with someone.”

You had to’ve dreamed it, it was the only excuse you could come up with. Chris is just a new customer to the cafe, and you’ve never met him ever in your life. You laugh it off, and look down at the cafe table with a light flush on your cheeks. 

“I must have a knack for embarrassing myself in front of strangers,” You sigh as you recover from the moment. 

Chris couldn’t think of anything to say. His heart was beating so fast and hard that he was afraid you could hear it from across the table, and all he could do was smile knowing you had remembered him from day one. 

He cleared his throat, and placed his phone down on the table, “I don't think it’s embarrassing,” He pauses, “Anything else seem… familiar?”

You pressed your lips together and stood up from the table, wondering how weird you’d seem if you told him that his voice specifically was in your head, “Uhm, not… not really.” You shake your head at him, and straighten your apron.

“Yo! Chris--”

A loud voice echoes through the cafe, and you turn your head behind you to see another guy quickly approaching Chris with a big smile and a computer bag hanging from his shoulder. His smile was almost as infectious as Chris’s and you took a step back from the table so he could sit with his friend. 

You watch Chris’s eyebrows knit together, and his eyes flicker across his friend’s face in confusion, “Han?”

Han looked at you for a moment and then back to Chris, “Am I.. interrupting?” He asks, pointing between the two of you.

You quickly hold up your hands and shake your head, “Oh, uhm no. I just, uhm-- Thought he reminded me of someone but it was just a mistake.”

You watched the two boys exchange a glance you couldn’t quite discern, and Chris speaks up next with his eyes unblinking as he stares down Han, “Something about deja vu, you know how it is.”

You press your lips together into a tight smile before excusing yourself back to your work behind the counter. Despite the lighthearted exchange, the peculiar sensation lingers in the background.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

As you continue to steam milk and clean down the equipment, you can't shake the feeling that there's more to this odd memory than meets the eye. The cafe buzzes with activity, but in that moment, a subtle thread of mystery weaves through the air. When it slowed, you mindlessly sang along to whatever was playing overhead in order to relax and stop thinking about what had happened earlier.

Chris couldn’t help but listen when you sang. He’d heard it every day and he never grew tired of it, noticing you favored the softer, more indie feelings songs in comparison to the popular media that played between them. He always took his headphones down  from his head and rested them around his neck just so he could hear you softly singing, imagining that one day maybe he’d be able to mix something just for you.

You glance up at the two of them every so often, more specifically, you look at Chris. You chew on your cheek in thought, something was odd about the memory but you couldn’t quite place it and it was driving you fucking crazy. You look at the two boys as they bicker about something on their computers, your hand slipping off the handle of the steamer and your arm touching the hot metal causing you to jerk your hand away with a hiss. 

“Shit--” you whisper, glancing down at your fingers and inspecting it before looking around to see Changbin watching you with a raised brow and you give him a small thumbs up, “I’m alright, no worries.”

“And mentally?” Changbin says, drying off a white mug with a towel. “Your head has been literally anywhere but the cafe today.”

You shrug at him, dumping the over-steamed milk from the mug and pouring a fresh bit to re-steam, “My head is perfectly attuned to my work, Bin.”

“Sure, because you haven’t been staring at that guy for your whole shift,” Changbin says with an eyeroll before reaching for the mug in your hands and putting it aside to have your full attention, “Did he upset you? I can make him leave if--”

“No! God no, Bin,” You say quickly, carding your hands through your hair, “It was nothing, I just thought I knew him from somewhere.”

Changbin freezes as he stares you down, just blinking at you. It was as if he wasn’t sure how to react, “what do you mean by that?”

You make a face at Changbin and laugh a little, “It’s nothing serious, I just thought I had met him before but it was just a misunderstanding.”

Lie. You shift your weight and cross your arms over your chest. You watch Changbin turn over his shoulder and glare at Chris before looking back at you, squinting as he looks you up and down.

“And?”

“What do you mean?” You say quickly, scrunching your nose at him.

“Y/N, i know you better than you know how to make a decent cup of coffee. What else happened that you didn’t tell him?” Changbin pressed, nodding his head to where Chris and Han were seated. Unfortunately, having a best friend like him means he knows what’s going on in your head.

You huff and your arms fell from your chest, “I found this on my doormat this morning, and when I unfolded it I saw his name and order. The same one he placed today, so I asked him about it and--” you pause. 

“Is he stalking you?” Changbin said quickly, unfolding the receipt and reading it for himself, “I can report him if he’s stalking you--”

“No--God, hover parent much?” You huff, pushing him gently, “Anyway, when I sat down with him we started talking and I flicked the football at him and I like-- I swear I remember playing that with him. I remember talking with him, but I swear I have never seen him before.” 

Changbin stares at you over the paper in his hands, his mouth opens as if he was going to say something then he turns around to look at Chris. You take the receipt back out of his hands and fold it back up, and Changbin looks down at his empty hands before facing you again.

“Do you remember him?” He breathes.

“Yes and no?” You say with a half shrug while your face scrunches, “I thought maybe we had met before, but I think it’s just deja vu,” You say, returning to your cleaning tasks as your shift comes to an end.

Changbin smiles softly, and tosses the white towel he was holding over his shoulder, “Deja vu sounds about right,” he says, watching you continue your work.

You let out a sigh. Something about this isnt sitting right. Reaching behind your back, your fingers untangle the bow to your apron and slip it off over your head. There was something about looking at Chris that made you feel like you were closer than strangers, like he had some way of invading your memory without you even noticing. You punch out from your shift and reapproach Chris and Han as they chatter about some project they were working on.

“Dude, this song is all we have-- we have to turn it in. JYP isn’t going to be happy going yet another week without a new song,” Han huffs, leaning his chair onto the back two legs.

“Look, I know but if she’s starting to remember then putting this song out is a risk. I don't think it’s a good--” Chris stops in the middle of his sentence when he sees you approaching them and greets you with that same warm smile, “Hey again.”

“Uh, hey--” You start, awkwardly reaching into your back pocket and taking out the paper football in his hands and holding it out to him, “I just forgot to give you this.”

Chris takes it from your hands and flips it before placing it on the table, “Oh yeah, thank you.”

Before you could walk away, Han speaks up while gently resting his hand on the table as he leans towards you, “Hey, can we get your input on something?”

The sudden question catches you off guard, but if it was an excuse to talk to Chris and figure out what that memory was about then you weren’t going to deny it. You give a quick nod and take a seat next to Han.

“So we make music, and having an outsider’s perspective on our project helps a lot,” Han starts, pointing at his computer, “We’re turning this one in tomorrow and I feel like there’s something missing from it, would you give it a listen for me?” 

Han was already handing you his headphones before you could object, the bulky black over ear headphones rested on top of your head comfortably. They matched the ones Chris was wearing and you could see a bit of a flush form on Chris’s face as he looked at his computer screen intensely, as to not make eye contact with you. 

The music started, a gentle piano echoing slightly between your ears before you hear a voice come in, it’s mid pitched and soothing. Han watches you expectantly and Chris avoids eye contact with you as he types away.

The voice is incredible, and without even knowing it you were smiling as you listened to it. You silently point at Han, asking if it was him singing and you watched him shake his head no before pointing across the table at Chris; who looked mortified that you were listening to him sing.

You reach across and waved a hand near his computer screen to get his attention and when he finally looks up, you give him a smile and a thumbs up. His voice was the kind you hear and suddenly the world stopped spinning, giving you the entire moment to just take it in and enjoy hearing it to the fullest extent.

The music cuts out, and you slip off Han’s headphones and pass them to him gently before looking at Chris, “I… wow. That was actually amazing, Chris.”

“Thanks… Kinda embarrassing to have someone listen to your music right in front of you though you know?” CHris laughs gently, his eyes locking with Han’s as if he was warning him.

Han rolls his eyes before facing you, “I’m gonna be real, we need someone to duet with Chris in it.”

You raise your brows at the comment, shifting your eyes between the two boys, “I think that’s a great idea. It would balance out kind of like a story.”

Han looks pointedly as Chris while gesturing to you dramatically, “See!? I told you she’d do it.”

“Woah-- Hold on,” You say quickly, a tinge of uncertainty in your voice, "I'm not really used to singing for people, let alone two guys I don't really know. It's a bit out of my comfort zone."

There was literally no way in hell you were going to sing on a song for two--well… one guy you don't know and another you have hardly any memory of. The only singing you’d ever done was for yourself. You glance at Chris, seeking some reassurance. He gives you a wince of hope, trying to encourage you, but the reluctance still lingers. The thought of putting yourself out there feels intimidating.

"Come on, Y/N. It's just a small gig," Han insists, his eyes reflecting a genuine belief in your abilities. “You were singing just a little bit ago, I think you would be perfect for it.”

Despite his reassurances, a knot of reluctance tightens in your stomach. The fact you were even talking with two random people feels like a leap into the unknown, let alone in considering singing for them. 

Chris passes you a notebook, “Here, these are the lyrics.”

You glance at the lyrics, imagining the notes resonating in the studio, and a mixture of excitement and apprehension tugs at your heart. The lyrics were close to home, and your eyes flicker at Chris. He had to’ve met me before and I just don't remember it.

After a moment of contemplation, you take a deep breath and meet their gaze. "Okay, let's do it. I'll give it a try."

A genuine excitement lights up Han's face, and Chris lets out a breath he was holding. You card your fingers through your hair and laugh embarrassingly before Han quickly packs up and drags you out of the cafe with Chris in tow.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- 

You stand still in a closed off room with a large window on the wall that allows you to see Han seated at the soundboard, “So… this is how you record then?”

Chris nods his head softly as he adjusts the microphone to match your height, “Yeah, this is the part of the studio that keeps all the outside noise at bay so we only pick up the audio we want.” Chris explains, tightening the knob to keep the microphone in place now that it was right where it should be. 

You watched as Chris leaned over to the stand behind you, and you felt your chest tighten at the proximity to him. The warmth of his skin radiating enough for you to feel it before he stand up and gently places the headset over your ears. He leans back to look at your face, eyes flickering between your own, “comfortable?”

You nod, “y-yeah, they’re good,” you say, reaching up to touch the headphones on your head and giving Chris a smile as you shift your weight and he leaves you alone in the room. He takes a seat by Han and you watch as they speak a little bit in silence. Chris looks anxious, Han rolls his eyes at him and says something exasperated before turning to face the window and pressing a button.

“Can you hear us okay?” his voice booms into your headphones, and you give them a thumbs up. 

“This feels insane,” You say with a small laugh, “Are you sure you don't want someone who is known for singing to do this?”

Chris shakes his head before finally looking at you, “Nah, you’ll do great, Y/N.” His signature smile was showing through with his words, and it made you feel at ease even when doing something as crazy as this. “You’ll have my track playing in the background so you can hear how the song is sung. We can re-take things so don’t stress if you mess up, yeah?”

You give him a thumbs up before you see Han put up his hand, counting down from five as you hear the music start playing in your ears. The delicate piano chords echo in your head again and you take a deep breath as Han finally reaches zero.

“You say down right at the corner of my table, and I don't know what it is but I swear I’m feeling deja vu.”

Your eyes closed and the lyrics moved past your lips almost effortlessly, you could hear yourself in the speakers of the headphones. When you open your eyes, Chris’s own meet yours as if he’d never looked away from you. As the music swells you watch him slowly spin the paper football in his fingers and your mind is flooded with the same memory from earlier.

You flick the folded paper and send it flying, over-shooting the goal and Chris letting out a small chuckle as he picks up the paper, “So do I get to know my opponent’s name anytime soon?” He says as he flicks it towards you, his eyes flicking up at you from your hands as you pick up the little paper.

“Y/N,” You say as you sink down into your chair to line up your shot, your tongue sticking out as you focus and send it flying through his hands. You glance up at him as he picks up the paper, “So are you like-- a part of a famous paper football league that I’ve not heard of?”

In a split second you find yourself transported to a different moment – the first time you met Chris. The memory floods your senses: the laughter, the shared conversation, and the spark of connection that had lingered in the air. It's as if a hidden door in your mind has swung open, revealing a scene that was once obscured.

“Swear I feel you in my memory, I think I’ve seen you in my dreams. Maybe you and I have history but I don’t think you know me--”

Your heart is beating out of your chest as you stop singing, the weight of this recollection settles over you. The realization is overwhelming, like a sudden rush of emotions that you weren't prepared for. Faces in the cafe become blurred, replaced by the vivid image of Chris, his smile etched into the canvas of your memory.

 “If there was a league, I’d be famous by now and you would have had to ask me for my name at the register,” he says with a playful head nod as he continues to flick the paper back and forth between the two of you, “But unfortunately there’s not, so I make music.”

"You make music?" you ask with a teasing glint in your eyes, "I thought you were auditioning for NSYNC with that outfit."

He looks down at himself, an amused expression playing on his face. "What's wrong with my outfit? I thought it was a fashion statement."

You lean in, pretending to inspect his ensemble with exaggerated seriousness, "Well, if the statement is 'I'm bringing back the '90s,' then mission accomplished,” you bring your hands up to make air quotes with your fingers when you say that.

Oh my god the bucket hat. You remember him wearing stupid bucket hat. A mixture of confusion and awe lingers in your eyes as you stare at Chris and you find yourself grappling with the significance of this sudden memory recall. The once-disconnected pieces of your encounters with Chris start to form a more coherent picture, leaving you in a state of introspection.

“Have we met before? Maybe in another life I knew you, maybe if I try I’ll see right through you and I’ll remember who we were.”

Overwhelmed by the sudden rush of emotion, you find yourself only listening to Chris’s singing in your ears as you collect your thoughts. The weight of the forgotten memory mingles with the joy of rediscovery. It's a bittersweet realization – a fragment of your past brought back to life in the present.

You remember Chris's visits, his patient smile each day, a consistent presence for you. Every day, he came back. The thought resonates within you, and a warmth spreads through your chest. The realization is both heartwarming and heartbreaking – a testament to the resilience of a connection that transcends the limitations of memory.

You recall the moments when Chris would visit, sharing stories and laughter as if each encounter were a brand-new beginning. The frequency of his visits, the sincerity in his eyes – it all makes sense now. The times you were less than kind to him, and the one time Changbin kicked him out of the cafe all because you didn’t remember him. He didn't let the forgetfulness deter him; instead, he embraced each meeting with unwavering dedication.

Emotions surge within you like a tidal wave, and you feel the tears welling up in your eyes. Clarity, like a long-lost friend, has found its way back to you. Studio and music in your ears cuts out as you navigate the flood of memories that has rushed back to you. Chris, gaze never wavering from you as he watches the changes in your face, reaches forward and presses a button to allow his voice to reach you.

“Y/N, are you alright?”

As you stand before him, tears well up in your eyes, and you take a deep breath to steady yourself and you shake your head to dismiss his concerns. 

“You know that bucket hat looked awful on you.”

Chris’s eyebrows furrow for a moment, staring at you as if you were crazy. Then his eyes slowly soften, then widen, and you watch his lips part as he smiles, the same one that had melted you the first day you’d met.

“Oh my god--” His voice cuts out as you watch him quickly stand up and enter the recording room.

"Chris," you begin, your voice quivering with the weight of the revelation. "I remember. I remember everything." His eyes widen, and a spectrum of emotions dances across his face – surprise, hope, and a touch of disbelief. He opens his mouth to speak, but you continue before he can find the words.

"I remember you coming in that day, your smile, the way you patiently shared stories, how I had you kicked out," you confess, tears streaming down your cheeks. The weight of the unsaid becomes a palpable presence in the studio, “I remember you showing me Han’s song, I remember you walking me home, I remember-- God, I remember everything.”

Chris, struck by the depth of your revelation, leans forward, his eyes searching yours for confirmation. "You... remember?"

You nod, a mixture of joy and sorrow in your eyes, "Yes, Chris. And I remember the first day we met, how you made me laugh with that paper football game. And I remember the way you smiled at me when I said the 90s was an awful time for fashion and how I fell for you in that moment."

As Chris takes in your revelation, a mixture of disbelief and joy dances in his eyes. He gazes at you, absorbing the weight of your words, and then a tender smile graces his face. With a sincerity that pierces through the air, he begins to share his side of the story.

"Y/N," he starts, his voice tinged with emotion. "Every day, I walked into that cafe, hoping that it would be the day you remembered. Even when you didn't, it was worth it. Your smile, your laughter – they became the highlights of my day."

He takes a deep breath, as if collecting the scattered fragments of his emotions. "I fell for you so hard, right from the start. Your kindness, your laugh, the way you were so warm and inviting to everyone – it was impossible not to fall in love with you."

"I love how you find joy in the little things, how you light up when you talk about your favorite songs, and the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh. It's like every moment with you is a melody, and I can't get enough of it," Chris continues, his gaze locked onto yours.

Tears glisten in your eyes as you listen to him pour his heart out, the weight of his love both comforting and overwhelming. Chris's vulnerability becomes a bridge that connects every memory you have of him, and he pulls you into his arms tightly.

"I love you for who you are, Y/N, and every version of you, even the one who couldn't remember,” He breathed into your hair, eyes screwed shut as he held you close to him.

“Don’t let me forget you again, okay?”

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

The blaring alarm pierced through the veil of your dreams, a relentless assault on the peace that only moments ago had surrounded you. Groggily, you fumbled on the nightstand for the offending device, your hand clumsily slapping at the snooze button in a desperate attempt to silence the intrusion before your hand slips and it falls off your night stand, alarm still blaring.

“God damn it…” You curse under your breath as a resentful sigh leaves your lips. Reluctantly, you threw off the warmth of the covers and reached for your phone, the bright screen reading 4:30AM. Your body was protesting the untimely disturbance as the coldness in the air replaced the coziness of your bed. The room, dimly lit by the soft glow through the curtains, felt like a sanctuary you were being forcibly expelled from. The cool floor beneath your feet served as a stark reminder that the inviting embrace of your bed was now just a fading memory.

As you stood there, the harsh reality of the impending workday began to settle in. The day ahead loomed like an insurmountable mountain, and as much as you didn’t want to go make coffee for stuck up business men and housewives with too much time on their hands, you promised to open the shop this morning and you were absolutely kicking yourself for it. 

Dragging yourself toward the bathroom, you squinted against the bright light, your reflection in the mirror a testament to the reluctant and incredibly rude awakening. With each passing minute, the realization that the sanctuary of sleep was slipping away. The only thing keeping you moving was knowing you got to have a free cup of coffee as soon as you got there.

The clock ticks, the seconds slipping away, and with each passing moment, the inevitable draws nearer. You stare at the ceiling, contemplating the merits of calling in sick, but reality nudges you with a firm reminder of bills and responsibilities. With a heavy sigh, you brush your teeth and hair as you attempt to blink away the grogginess in your eyes. The morning routine is a series of half-hearted motions. Your reflection in the bathroom mirror wears the exhaustion of someone who'd rather be doing anything but going to work.

The uniform feels like a straitjacket, but you squeeze into it, donning the required apron with a resignation that accompanies the mundane. As you lace up your shoes, you can almost hear the distant and antagonistic laughter of those still wrapped in the warm embrace of their dreams.

The walk to work is a slow march, the chilly air of Seoul biting at your skin. The vibrant sunrise paints the sky, a cruel juxtaposition to your muted mood. The comforting scent of freshly ground coffee wafts from the shop, a mixed blessing as it both heralds the start of another day and wraps you in the familiar embrace of your workplace as you tuck yourself behind the counter swiftly.

The clock on the wall seems to mock you, displaying a time that's far later than you intended to arrive. With an apologetic smile, you make your way to the locker and quickly toss an apron over your head, hoping to go unnoticed.

However, your hopes are dashed as you hear a playful voice from across the room. "Well, well, if it isn't our resident time traveler. Did you bring back any cool gadgets from the future, Y/N?" your boss Changbin teases, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

You chuckle nervously, appreciating the light-hearted tone. "Just a tardiness superpower, I guess. I thought I'd share it with the team today," you reply, feigning innocence.

Changbin leans against your desk, a smirk playing on his lips. "Ah, the infamous tardiness superpower. I've heard it's all the rage in the superhero world. Fashionably late, right?"

You nod, playing along. "Exactly! It's the new trend. Fashionably late is the new on-time."

Changbin laughs, shaking his head. "Well, as long as you don't start wearing a cape to work, I think we can forgive a little tardiness now and then. Just don't make it a habit, superhero."

Customers trickle in, their orders becoming a monotonous hum. With each espresso shot pulled, you feel a little more awake, a little more alive. The routine becomes a rhythm, a dance with the coffee machines. And as you hand over that first latte of the day, you realize that despite the initial reluctance for starting the day, there's a certain satisfaction in being part of the daily grind. And to which, you let out a small laugh at your own pun and shake your head before glancing back up to be met with the next customer.

When you looked up, you were greeted with chocolatey brown eyes that crinkled a little as he smiled at you. It was a smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts, and it was a smile that definitely melted yours. You couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“Hey, Chris.”

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Author's note: I am... to happy with how this turned out. Let me know if there's any mistakes I missed, it is very late for me as I'm getting this posted and I half-proof read it! Please enjoy the last part, and tell me all about your favorite parts of the series<3 I'll be back soon with a new series as soon as I can lovelies ^.^ Again, this is for my best friend Baylee. I love you more than you love Chan. Seriously.

Love, Bunn XOX

[broken-glowsticks]

What Once Was Mine

Chapter 3 - Shifting Dynamics

Genre: Childhood friends, Eventual Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Love corner/love triangle, love rivals, Series. Not all chapters will be proofread!!

Warnings: 18+, mdni, mentions of sex and alcohol consumption, additional warnings will be added to individual chapters as needed.

Additional tags: love triangle, hangovers, flirting

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It was your overwhelming urge to pee that surged you into consciousness, however as soon as you were awake enough you became acutely aware of the overwhelming nausea washing over you. Good lord, how much did you drink last night?

“Oh god.” You said bolting upright, clamping your hand tightly over your mouth and squeezing your eyes shut, trying to block out the urge to vomit as you took deep, slow breaths. It took a moment but the sensation eased and you were able to take in your surroundings… Where were you anyway? 

It was dark but you could tell this was someone's room, did you hook up with someone? No, Jisung wouldn't have let you leave the karaoke room without him, and even if you did manage to slip out to hook up with someone, the person in question would have been here with you. Not to mention you most likely would have still been naked from the night before, and were most definitely wearing clothes. You weren't wearing your clothes though, they must belong to the person who's room you're in. The shirt hung loosely on your frame, as did the shorts and you could smell cologne coming from the fabric. If you had to guess off the clothes alone, this was definitely a guys room. 

If only you had your phone, you could call one of the guys and ask them if they knew where the hell you were… 

The moment the thought entered your head the door opened and you found yourself relieved to see Changbin. 

“Hey, you're up.” He said with a smile, reaching for the light switch.

“Please don't turn on the light.” You begged, pressing the palms of your hands to your eyes due to the light streaming in from behind him.

“Major hangover?” He asked sympathetically, closing the door and making his way to the bed. You only grunted in reply. 

“I guess it's a good thing I brought you this then.” He chuckled, pulling your hands from your eyes to hand you a bowl of soup and a bottle of water you didn't realize he even had. 

Opening the bottle you eagerly downes the entire thing before turning your attention to the heavenly smelling soup before you. The warm, rich broth was exactly what you needed. Changbin simply sat at the foot of the bed, happy to see you enjoying your meal. 

“Soooo, where am I?” you eventually asked, peering up at Changbin. 

“My room. I live the closest to the karaoke lounge and we all got a little too drunk last night. I guess Han didn't want to drive all over town just to get us all home and decided to come here.” Changbin said with a shrug of his broad shoulders.

“I can't say I blame him. I know I can get a little hard to control when I drink too much,” you admitted sheepishly, finishing off the rest of the soup. “I usually try to stay somewhat clear headed whenever I go out.” You added, watching as Changbin took the bowl from your lap. “I can't even remember the last time I drank that much.” 

“I just hope that means you felt comfortable and were having a fun time.” Changbin said as he stood, making his way to the door.

“Changbin,” you called before he could touch the doorknob. “Uhm… who's clothes am I wearing?” You were hesitant to ask.

“Oh, they're mine. Han said you threw up all over yours.” He replied simply, opening the door and making his way out. “I'll give them back when they're washed.” He added right before he closed the door, leaving you flushed and embarrassed. Thanks a lot Ji. 

You gave yourself a few minutes before collecting your composure and slipping out of bed. You still had to pee immensely and you wanted to see how everyone was doing. Upon exiting the bedroom you were greeted by the sight of all the guys, minus Changbin, scattering throughout the living room, all of them in various states of undress. 

The only one to really attempt to cover up was Chan, everyone else was simply too hungover or too comfortable with you to care. 

“Well good morning to you too.” You said to them as you scanned for the bathroom.

“Down this mini hall that's next to the kitchen, second door.” Jisungs voice called out, already knowing what you were searching for. “If you somehow miss it, you're even more hungover than I thought you'd be and you need to go back to bed.

“Shut up.” You say, frowning at him as he obnoxiously blows you kisses. 

It took a bit of concentration to make your way to the bathroom, you were still dizzy and while the food and water helped your headache, you could still feel pressure in your head. Instead of risking a fall in the bathroom you did your best to be fast and were soon making your way back to the living room to settle in next to Felix on one of the two couches. 

“Sleep well?” Felix asked, his voice hoarse. You vaguely recalled his scream singing the night before.

“I was less asleep and more unconscious.” You replied.

“Join the club.” Chan cut in as he lay splayed out on the ground, his eyes squeezed shut. “This is why I never drink.” 

“Because you're an old man who can't handle his alcohol?” Jisung quipped from the other couch. 

“I'd get you if the room wasn't spinning…” Chan grumbled, covering his face with the blanket he pulled off Felix when you walked out. 

“If that was the case, would you also put your clothes back on? There's a woman present.” Jisung asked with a sassy tone, causing Chan to scoff.

“You and Felix don't even have pants on!” He cried out defensively, waving a hand between the two. 

“Yeah, but we're not just in our tight-ass boxers.” Felix countered.

“Traitor” Chan said, his eyes squinted at Felix with a playful glare. Meanwhile you watched on fondly as the trio bickered.

“Oh! Hey, Ji, where's my stuff?” You asked.

“You mean the clothes you threw up on or-?”

“No, you ass hat. I mean my phone.”

“It's charging in the kitchen.” He replied and you made your way there to collect it. You were surprised to see Changbin washing dishes when you entered. 

“Hey, you're not feeling sick?” Your asked him, looking for where Jisung placed your phone to charge. 

“Nah, I didn't drink enough to get any kind of hangover. Plus I'm really good at handling my alcohol.” He said with a proud smile, you swear he was puffing his chest with pride.

“Okay then macho man.” You giggled as you walked past him to reach for your phone once you located it. Before you could even turn on the screen, Changbin piped up.

“Hey, Y/N, are- are you dating anyone?” His question made you fumble your phone.

“What?”

“Are you dating anyone?” He repeated, turning off the tap and removing his rubber gloves. “I looked over to the phone pile last night cause I kept seeing a screen lightning up, some guy named Hyunjin kept calling you. I figured he was your boyfriend or something and that he was worried about you.” Changbin looked away as he finished his explanation, rubbing the back of his neck as he leaned against the counter. You couldn't help but notice how he seemed a bit dejected.

“Oh… oh no. I'm not dating anyone, Hyunjin is just one of my best friends. Our families have been close since we were kids is all.” 

“Oh. Is that all?” He said, immediately seeming more cheerful, although he kept his eyes to the ground.

“I was really worried there for a second, if he was your boyfriend then I really wouldn't want to upset him.” Changbin tore his eyes from the floor to look at you and you almost missed the bashful tone in his voice when he said, “I know if you were my girlfriend, I'd want to always know if you were okay.”

“O-oh, uh, I…” you didn't know what to say. What did he mean by that? What do you say to that? You didn’t know, all you knew is that you could feel your cheeks flush under his bashful, vulnerable gaze. It was if he was trying to tell you something without actually saying it. Was he implying what you hoped he was? 

You didn’t get a chance to answer. Your phone lit up in your hand, catching your attention, and when you looked at the screen Hyunjins name showed. You could see why Changbin thought you two were dating.

You had put him as “Hyunjinnie” in your phone and decorated his name with hearts and stars, you had also given him a customized phone screen for whenever he would call, and his profile picture was a picture you once took when the two of you had gone to the park together and he fell asleep with his head in your lap. Normally you loved seeing your phone screen light up with a special display, just for him, but something about Changbin seeing it made you painfully embarrassed. You couldn't fully understand why.

“Sorry, um, I- I gotta-” you stuttered.

“No, yeah, I'll give you some privacy.” Changbin said, making his way out of the kitchen. However he couldn't help but pick up on how Hyunjin called you “Beautiful” the moment you answered the phone. 

○●☆♡☆●○ 

Plopping down on the couch next to Jisung, Changbin couldn't help but feel a little uneasy. Something Jisung immediately noticed. 

“Hey, are you ok?” he asked quietly, pulling his view from the TV to look at his friend.

“Is Y/N dating anyone?” Changbin blurted, tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling, taking Jisung by surprise.  

“No, she isn't.” Jisung replied, blinking at Changbin, confused but also hopeful. “Why do you ask?”

“It's just… She told me she wasn't dating anyone, but then this Hyunjin guy called and-” 

“Uhg, him.” Jisung said with disgust, rolling his eyes and leaning back into the couch. “So that's who she's talking to right now.”

“You don't like him?” Changbin asked with a lift of his head, looking at Jisung with curiosity. 

“No, I think he's a fuckboy and that Y/N could do better. But don't tell her I said that, she loves the guy.” 

“So they are a thing.”

“They're just friends.” Jisung said quickly, patting Changbins shoulder. “I'm not gonna lie, things are a little more complicated between them than just a ‘normal friendship’, they've been close since forever, but they're not dating and they're definitely not exclusive. That's all I can say.” Jisung said, holding his hands up.

This seemed to have brought Changbin a modicum of comfort, allowing him to lean in, not wanting Chan or Felix to hear what he was about to ask - although the two were very much subtly eavesdropping. 

“Do… would you be okay if I asked her out then? Do you think she'd even say ‘yes’?” Changbin asked nervously. Out of everyone in the room, Changbin knew that Han was the closest to you. Not only did Changbin not want to cause any sort of tension by asking you out, he also figured Han was the best person to ask this question in general. 

Outwardly Jisung let only his surprise show, however on the inside he was throwing a full on parade. This was everything he was hoping for coming to reality and he struggled not to jump on Changbins lap and kiss him square on the mouth just for asking about dating you. It was at this moment that Han knew he was going to do everything in his power to help Changbin land a chance at dating you. 

“Dude, she'd totally say yes! She's so into you!” Jisung tried to whisper, however he was just a touch too enthusiastic and spoke loudly enough that the two eavesdroppers were able to join in on the conversation. 

“Oh, is Changbin finally going to try and shoot his shot?” Felix asked with a grin, “five bucks she turns him down.” He teased, earning a pillow being thrown at his head by Changbin. 

“She won't turn you down, I'm sure of it.” Chan said from the floor, giving Changbin an encouraging smile, “When do you plan to ask her?” 

“I dunno. I want to make sure the moment's right. I don't want anything getting… in the way.” He mused, his attention drifting to the faint sound of your giggle coming from the kitchen.

“You mean any one.” Jisung muttered with a slight pout. 

Changbin opened his mouth to speak but was stopped by Jisung, who had noticed you coming from the kitchen. 

“You good?” He asked, seeing you had also grabbed your wallet. 

“Yeah, well, no… kinda? I still feel yucky and I appreciate you guys giving me a safe place to sleep and all, but I really just want a hot bath and to be in my own bed.” You admitted candidly.

“I can take you and Han home. If you're feeling sick you probably still shouldn't drive.” Changbin offered immediately, subtly trying to convince you as he stood and grabbed his keys. 

“Uh, I actually was going to stay and hang out,” Jisung quickly added before turning to speak directly to you, “are you okay or do you need me to come home with you?” Jisung held his breath, hoping you would say he could stay so you and Changbin could be alone together. 

“Oh… no, no you can stay. I can go home with Changbin. I'll just get my car later or something.” 

“Then it's settled, are you ready to go?” Changbin asked. You nodded and followed him to the door, making sure to ask Jisung not to forget your clothes before closing the door behind you. 

It was painfully bright outside but after asking for permission, Changbin took your arm in his and let you hide your face against his shoulder as he led you to his car. He was even a gentleman as he opened the car door for you and closed it once you were in. It wasn't often you were treated so sweetly and idly you thought that you could get used to it.

“Here.” You were surprised by Changbin holding a pair of dark sunglasses in front of your face. You looked up at his smiling face before taking them and slipping them on to shield your eyes. He was really taking good care of you.

“Thank you.” you said softly. Other than your underwear and shoes you were dressed completely and comfortably in Changbins clothes. 

“You're very welcome,” he said warmly, giving you a kind look, “now let's get you home, shall we?”

○●☆♡☆●○

“Would you like to come in for a little bit?” 

“Are you sure? Didn't you want to take a bath?” Changbin asked, however he was already turning off the car and unbuckling his seat belt. 

“I can take a bath later. I… just want to make sure I get up safely. I'm still feeling a little dizzy.” That was somewhat true, you did still feel a bit dizzy but if you were honest, you just wanted to spend some more time with Changbin. 

“Say less.” He said, hopping from the driver's side and scurrying to the passengers side to open the door for you. You assumed that's all he was going to do, but the moment you unbuckled your own seatbelt he lifted you from your seat, bridal style. 

“Is this okay?” He asked, shutting the car door with his foot. 

You nodded with a giggle, wrapping your arms around his neck and swooning a bit when he smiled at you sweetly. Your mind drifted as he carried you to your apartment, the strength of his arms, how solid his chest was, the sturdiness of his shoulders, you idly thought that he'd be able to bench press you if you wanted to. What else could he do with you?

“You okay? You're zoning on me.” You blinked at Changbins words, suddenly embarrassed, where were your thoughts even going?

“Oh, sorry. I guess I'm more hungover than I thought?” You knew that was a bit of a lame excuse, but Changbin seemed to buy it, deciding to focus instead on the upward climb to your apartment. Your buildings one and only elevator was broken and Changbin had visited enough to know that, but even if it wasn't broken he would have taken the stairs. He just wanted a reason to keep carrying you.

Unfortunately Changbin had to set you down eventually.

Opening the door the two of you slipped inside as you had so many times before. You had grown comfortable with Changbin in your space but something about wearing his clothes this time made things feel more intimate. 

“Ok girlie, sit, I'll bring you some tea for your stomach.” Changbin suddenly commanded, gently pushing you to the kitchen island. “You're still not feeling well and I'm not going to let you lift a finger while I'm here.”

“I didn't see you treating the guys so gently.” You chuckled, slipping onto one of the bar stools. 

“They're big boys, they're fine.” He replied simply, gathering a mug and kettle from your cabinets. You watched him patiently, amused by how he knew his way around your kitchen like it was his own. 

“Ever think you spend too much time here?” You grinned, your chin resting in your palms.

“Nope. My two best friends live here, so it's only natural I'd spend so much time here.” He had an answer for everything today. 

Soon you had your tea in hand and the two of you decided to put on a show. You knew Changbin didn't have too much time to give, everyone else was at his apartment after all, but you were happy for the company. Something about Changbin sitting next to you, your shoulders touching, watching a show you both enjoyed, it relaxed you in a way you only ever felt with Jisung and…

A knock at the door caused the two of you to jump.

“Were you expecting anybody?” Changbin asked, pausing your show. 

Shaking your head you set your mug down, making your way over to the front door. Changbin attempted to crane his neck so he could see who it was that had decided to drop by from the comfort of the couch, but the layout of your apartment made that impossible. He also knew he shouldn't be nosey, it could be a neighbor for all he knew, so he turned his attention to his phone as he heard you open the door. What he heard made his pulse quicken. 

“Hyunjin?!”

“Surprise, Beautiful! I've come to take care of you~!” 

Changbin turned his body fully, leaning over the back of the couch just in time to watch you giggle and throw yourself into Hyunjins arms, who happened to have a bag of food, presumably for you. So this was the guy you were on the phone with earlier. He was handsome. 

It took Changbin only a moment to realize what Han had meant when he said you and Hyunjin had a complicated relationship. The way the two of you looked at each other, it was like the way you looked at Han - someone you've known and trusted deeply for years. But there was something more there too, something that was never there between you and Han. 

Changbins gripped his phone tightly, a sliver of jealousy cutting through him. He reminded himself that you two weren't in any kind of relationship, you said so yourself that you were single and Han reassured him that you two weren't anything exclusive. But, then, why is holding you like that? Why the pet name? 

It was another affectionate term that made it impossible for Changbin to stay sitting idly on the couch. 

“Baby, what on earth are you wearing???” 

“Oh, those are mine.” Changbin interjected, bounding from the couch and making his way over to you and Hyunjin with an amicable smile on his face. You suddenly felt a very funny feeling growing deep in the pit of your stomach. 

“You must be the famous Hyunjin I've been hearing about? Nice to meet you, I'm Seo Changbin.” Changbin said, stretching out his hand both to be polite but also so Hyunjin wouldn't have both hands still resting on your waist. 

“Awww, been talking about me Beautiful?” Hyunjin teased with that cheerful smile of his before turning his attention to Changbin. “Yes, I am, it's nice to meet you Changbin-ah.”

“You don't have to be formal, any friend of Y/N is cool with me.” He said that, but Changbin can't help but notice how the moment Hyunjins hand releases Changbins, he leaned back towards you to wrap an arm around your shoulder. A subtle sign that asked: “who are you and what are you doing with my Y/N?”

“That's very kind of you Changbin, sorry I didn't bring enough food for all of us. I didn't even know you'd be here.” Another subtle dig.

“No, that's alright. I need to get back to my place anyway, everyone slept there last night and I still have some guests.” 

“You're leaving already?” You asked, both oddly relieved but also not wanting him to go. Changbin couldn't help but smile fondly at you, something Hyunjin definitely noticed. 

“I have to, I don't trust the guys not to break my stuff. Besides, I have to make sure your clothes are dry, maybe even see if you made any kind of mess on my sheets.” This was meant primarily as a joke, something to make you smile, but it also to act as a dig of his own. Both goals were achieved. 

While you giggled at his joke Changbin noticed Hyunjins eyes darkened a bit. It was becoming somewhat known between the two boys, Changbin was making a statement. Something you might have noticed had you not had this unfamiliar mix of feelings swirling within you. 

“I'll come back to give you your clothes back soon, I promise Bin.” Changbins heart swelled at the sudden nickname. 

“Don't worry about it, keep them as long as you want.” He offered, pretending to wipe some dust off your shoulder, coincidentally on the shoulder Hyunjins hand was resting. “I think they look better on you anyway. It was nice to meet you Hyunjin, hope to see you again.” He added cordially.

“Yeah, same here.” Hyunjin replied, making room for Changbin to step through the door. As he did so, Hyunjin couldn't help but uneasily notice the sweet look on your face as you watched Changbin leave.

---------------------------------------

Ooooooh, i spy some hostility between the boys 👀 honestly I got such a kick out of writing this part. You can really see the tension growing between the two, each subtly staking a claim in this race for Y/N's affection

Taglist: @groovygroovyhyunjin @hhwangsmoon

[bahablastplz]

Skz fic recs (mxm) MDNI

hello! we had mixed opinions if we wanted mxm fic recs but I decided to make one anyway so those of you who want it, have at it! those of you who don't, that's okay you don't have to interact <3

These fics are all on ao3! I tried to find tumblr blogs for those authors who have them but if i'm missing anyone feel free to let me know. These are all mature unless otherwise stated! They are majority minsung but in general they are sorted by pairing with the older member first!

here's the color code: completed, ongoing, over 50k words, under 50k words, no smut

Haebang by BulletTears Chan/Everyone, 193k completed: Chan’s friend sets him up for a ‘spa retreat’ but he later finds out it’s a sexual liberation program. Slow burn, virginity loss, kink discovery, angst, hurt/comfort

you know I can’t leave you alone by @jisungjuice Chan/Minho, 13k completed: “When Chan asks Minho to help him with his dancing for the Red Lights MV, he didn't expect to like a certain part of the choreography so (very) much.” red lights, choking, kink discovery

reply hazy, try again by mrehk Chan/Changbin, 15k completed: “Changbin’s calculus tutor is Bang Chan. (OR: solving for the derivative of l+o+v+e)” frat boy chan, fwb, pining, loss of virginity, idiots in love

Case 35 by theproblematique Chan/Felix, 15k completed, part of series: “The running joke is that he is the 'group-dad', and Chan plays the part for his friends without protest. Then Felix has to go and complicate things.” Daddy kink, idiots to lovers

deviation by theproblematique Chan/Jeongin 8k completed: “They all used Chan for their first ruts, until it’s Jeongin's turn.” bang chan wants to feel needed, a/b/o, omega chan, heats/ruts

I’ll never be that type of beautiful by @changbinholic Minho/Changbin, 50k completed: “the unconventional omega Changbin and feral alpha Minho we all needed.” one dubcon scene, a/b/o, angst

Case 54 by theproblematique Minho/Jisung, 35k completed, part of series: “Jisung is so supportive of Minho’s sexuality that it goes wrong.” Jealous Han, coming to terms with sexuality, great buildup

Your love (my breath) by Lox_y Minho/Jisung, 34k ongoing: “In which Jisung is the luna of his pack, and is tormented by his mate until he's killed in a fight with a neighboring pack, by an alpha named Minho.” heed warnings, a/b/o, abuse, hurt/comfort

Rule number one by evesmysoul Minho/Jisung, 144k completed: “Or Jisung’s broken heart leads him to make an arrangement with his mysterious classmate Minho. He believes everything will work out, as long as neither of them breaks the rules.” fwb, bad with feelings, slow burn, angst, happy ending

Ruin me (for everyone else) by preetydark Minho/Jisung, 20k completed: “Minho’s rut is blocked, it’s been for years now.This was never really a problem for him; except when the symptoms show up again when his younger brother's best friend, Jisung, is around.” pining, a/b/o, tension

no attachments by ockleibi, Minho/Jisung, 68k ongoing: “The guy who refuses to have sex with Jisung because he's a virgin turns out to be inextricably connected to his friend group. Awesome.” fwb, virginity loss, angst, great smut

chasing friction by cloudrages Minho/Jisung, 5k completed: “Jisung rides Minho’s thigh” virginity loss, gay panic, thigh riding (duh)

use me for a feeling (or a good time) by honeyeaters Minho/Jisung, 58k completed: “Minho and Jisung have slept with everyone except each other. Until that changes. No feelings attached, of course.” fwb, pining, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff

mouth to mouth by keros Minho/Jisung, 54k completed; “It’s Jisung’s first time off schedule in months, and he’s naturally anticipating the most boring day ever. When Minho gets back to the dorms early, it turns into anything but.” pining, tension, teasing, confessions

you have one (1) new notification by hnjsngluvr69 Minho/Jisung, 8k completed: “Jisung asks Minho to help him with his porn-watching addiction. Against his better judgment, Minho agrees.” friends to lovers, tension, humor lots of thoughts, head full (and bursting with horniness) by hnjsngluvr69 Minho/Jisung 13k completed: “Minho develops the power to read minds. Turns out, Jisung's thoughts are very, very horny.” mutual pining, friends to lovers, humor, I have a plan to write an xreader fic inspired by this soon

ex proprio vigore by mrehk Minho/Jisung, 23k completed, professor minho/law school student han, slowburn, tension, teasing, great smut, power dynamics

a fish tank (with rainbow socks) by mrehk, Minho/Jisung, 10k completed: “Minho never sleeps with the same guy twice; Jisung becomes a master of disguise” strangers to lovers, idiots in love, humor, mrehk has the best writing 

an octopus (playing tennis) by mhrek Minho/Jisung, 10k completed: “Minho sighs. “Put yourself in my shoes, Bin. You see incriminating photos of your best friend. You realize you’ve been in love with your best friend for ages. You can’t stop touching your dick while thinking about your best friend— and now you’re just supposed to hang out with your best friend like everything is fine?!” friends to lovers, idiots in love, fluff, comedy, mutual pining  chrysalis by mhrek Minho/Jisung 12k completed: “Jisung didn’t prepare for this. He was meant to just— tell Minho he’s gay— not ask him to have sex with him. The glass must have been a literal breaking point for his feeble self control.” friends to lovers, mutual pining, loss of virginity, gay awakening

cat’s cradle by mrehk, Hyunjin/Jeongin 13k completed: “Hyunjin starts fucking his drug dealer because he asked so nicely” stoners, fwb, gay awakening, idiots in love 

I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you, but not as much as I do by @/jisungjuice Jisung/Everyone 117k completed: “How omega Jisung turns all of Stray Kids into a proper pack.” fluff, a/b/o, light angst, loss of virginity, poly

between pavement and sky by tellmesomethinggood Jisung/2min 5k completed: “You want Minho to... cheat on you?" Jisung asks. "I want Minho to sleep with someone, while I watch." Seungmin says.” threesome, cuckholding, poly

Unsweetened Lemonade by Intricate 6 Jisung/Felix, Jisung/Everyone 44k ongoing: “Jisung runs away from his old pack only to be captured by another. This pack claims to be different, but Jisung isn't so sure…” Heed warnings, a/b/o, abuse, angst, hurt/comfort, smut

I’ll be good by skittlesmenu Jisung/Seungmin, 5k completed: “Cocky fuck boy Jisung gets flustered when top student Seungmin flirts back.” enemies to friends, fwb, tension

Open your hands (open your life) by rainyleafs Felix/Everyone, 158k ongoing: “Felix has been living off the grid ever since he fled his abusive former alpha. When he finds a distressed omega in an alley, he has no idea that bringing Jeongin back to his pack will get him everything he would never have dared to dream of.” No smut, slow-burn, hurt/comfort

effortless like loving you by littleinfinitewisdoms Jeongin/everyone, 202k ongoing; “Yang Jeongin, 24, "beta," has been disowned by his religious family after coming out. A month or so later, he finds himself with nowhere else to go, and almost no more money. He finally calls a crisis center and gets placed in an employment assistance program and a host pack.” fluff, angst, past trauma/abuse, religious trauma, haven’t finished yet but it’s good enough so far to recommend

[crookedt44th]

ೃ⁀➷ fanfic recommendations

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!! just wanted to make a list so i can come back and read them again! please do let me know if the links doesn't work or linked to a wrong fic! i also did not realize how much im really into strangers to lovers au lord.

if you want your works taken down, let me know

skz masterlists/series

stray kids coffee shop series | all fluff and bit of angst! @hanjisick

to all the crushes (half of skz x reader) | fluff, angst, suggestive content(?). by okayau

hot bitch summer; the skz series | fratboy au, smut. @hyunsvngs

@seospicybin 's masterlist | includes all smut, fluff, and angst.

bold (minsung x reader) | smut. @/hyunsvngs

hopeless in love (ao3) (minsung and reader) | mlm themes, friends to lovers, college au, humor, hurt/comfort. by lucspear [this is VERY fun and cute to read! id read this a thousand times over again!]

bang chan

600 degrees (ao3) | neighbors au, fluff. by the7thcrow

lee minho

blue side of the sky | exes to lovers, best friends to lovers au, fluff, angst, smut. @hyunfilms

when the cat dragged in | smut, angst, strangers to lovers. @moni-logues

lost in translation | smut, strangers to lovers. @moonjxsung huge fan of u dude

dead butterflies | toxic relationships, drug and alcohol abuse, cheating, unrequited love. @lavenderhhaze

invisible thread, part one and two | university au, academic rivals to lovers, slow burn, fluff, VERY angst. @astraystayyh

the only exception | strangers to lovers, slow burn. @astraystayyh

she's like the wind | fluff, angst, smut. @nczennie

you saved that for the end | angst, smut. @pearbunny

message in a bottle | smut with a plot. @chxnsaphrodite

Mr. Gorgeous | fluff, slight angst, college au. @cryinginmyroomsposts

photograph | college au, smut. @minniesmutt

when he sees me (ao3) | smut, fluff, angst, strangers to lovers, neighbors au. by candle_wax_and_polaroids

do you feel my hand? it is there | strangers to lovers, hurt/comfort, smut. @blossomwritesthings

what you deserve | college au, smut, angst, fluff. @2chopsticks2eyes

bunny | strangers to lovers, neighbors au, smut, angst, fluff. @tasteleeknow

million dollar man | smut. @ybklix

unrequited & unmatched | focused on lee know and hwang hyunjin (not as pairing), angst, smut, romance (do read warnings on these series though). @jl-micasea-fics

poisonous tears | angst, suggestive content. @hoes4lino

a love letter i wish it didn't exist | romantic, angst, suggestive. @hoes4lino

perfect | light angst, fluff, suggestive. @linospuddin

invisible string | soulmate au, smut, light angst, strangers to friends to lovers, friends with benefits. @moonlinos

when things were simple | 90s romance, school romance, best friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, online au, high school au. @sunboki

there's always time | family au, fluff, smut, angst. @dreamescapeswriting

hwang hyunjin

dear farmer | very fluffy! @puppym3

a train, her lips, the music (ao3) | fluff, beautifully romantic. by the7thcrow

star lost with you (ao3) series still ongoing | idol au, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers, unrequited love, angst, fluff, smut, SLOW BURN. by hyunjinspark

han jisung

reckless convictions | college au, beautifully romantic, smut. @/moonjxsung

lee felix

seasons | smut, angst. @moonjxsung requested by me :)))

off the deep end | post-apocalypse au, enemies to lovers, angst, romance, suggestive content. @stayxlix

the bodyguard | enemies to lovers, parental abuse, very angst with evntual happy ending, smut. @skzdarlings

indulgence | vampire au, forbidden love, college au. by the17thcrow

solace (ao3) | 1990s era, friends to lovers, fluff. by fizzydrink698

fading inure (ao3) | vampire au, smut. by hanjizung

vexatious vixen | strangers to enemies to lovers, smut, romantic comedy. @skzdarlings [this fic is actually funny and VERY intense to read. i've been waiting for smth like this. LOVE IT!]

the siren on the stage | smut. @bunnliix

lee felix's guide to hating you | college au, tutor au, fluff, angst, slice of life, slow burn. @yyxgin

churchboy felix | fluff, smut, teen angst. @skzcollision

something in the air | smut. @propertyoftoru

gone boy, gone bad | suggestive, slight enemies to lovers, gangster au, fluff. @starlostseungmin

my girl | smut. @hyunjinniesgirl

bad romance | smut, angst, fluff, slow burn, bad boy au, punk au. @straykeedz

will update more later! i rlly hope to read other ffs of other members soon LOL

[astraystayyh]

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊ winter falls

I'm so excited to announce this collab series with my @forlix where we'll be posting winter themed fics for each one of the boys!!!!! brainstorming these with xi was the most fun ever i hope you'll enjoy our collab (alternatively named dead dick december)

all the fics, except for Chan's, Minho’s and Han's are with a gender neutral reader.

minors & ageless blogs dni w/han’s fic as it is nsfw!

no holiday is specified by name so you can imagine whatever!

we're also opening a special taglist for the series! you can comment down here or send an ask to either me or xian to be added! (6/8 posted)

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

Pieces of you ❆ bang chan @astraystayyh (8.7k)

☃︎⋆꙳•❅ single dad!chan. neighbors!au. fluff. angst. slow burn. [posted: 12/02/24]

In which you and chan are each other's missing pieces. Alternatively, Chan and his daughter come knocking at your apartment asking for flour, and he's no longer embarrassed when you open the door.

Something has melted ❆ lee minho @forlix

☃︎⋆꙳•❅ spy x family!au, fake dating!au, fluff

Your obnoxious coworkers never get off your ass about how single you are, and your temporary husband is too happy to make them eat their words.

Burning in the winter wind ❆ changbin @astraystayyh (4.4k)

☃︎⋆꙳•❅ (fake) enemies to lovers. hurt/comfort. college!au. [posted: 26/02/24.]

Sustaining an ankle injury during a ski retreat isn't fun. Especially when Seo Changbin volunteers to stay back to tend to you- the one man you can never get a read on.

The snow falls, we fall apart ❆ hyunjin @astraystayyh (13k)

☃︎⋆꙳•❅ roommates to lovers. angst. hurt/comfort. slow burn. longing.

when heartbreak looms on your life, and winter becomes a time you loathe, hyunjin helps you rewrite your memories with the season, and with it, everything you once believed about love.

(+18) Empty my mind ❆ han jisung @forlix (6.4k)

☃︎⋆꙳•❅ friends with benefits to lovers, smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort. [posted: 06/01/24]

For the first time in a long time, Han Jisung has something to lose.

Everything has changed (besides myself) ❆ lee felix @forlix (5.4k)

☃︎⋆꙳•❅ exes to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff. [posted: 09/12/2023]

You spend three years loving him, six months losing him, and four hours waiting for him to get the hell out of your house. but the human heart is more stubborn than you know.

Warm winter ❆ kim seungmin @forlix

☃︎⋆꙳•❅ established relationship, hurt/comfort, fluff

“i don’t deserve you,” he breathes, “but god, i want to.”

Please fall before I fall ❆ jeongin @astraystayyh (2.8k)

☃︎⋆꙳•❅ childhood best friends to lovers. hint of unrequited love (they're idiots) [posted: 18/01/24]

3 times you saved jeongin's ass and the 1 time he saved yours. (and ended up confessing along the way)

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

...titles are all inspired by han's incredible songwriting in Winter Falls, han write a happy song #challengefailed.

[dontaskmemybias]

Pretty

Pairing: Idol!Lee Know x afab Ninth Member!reader Request: Yes Theme: Friends to Lovers Contains: Anxiety, Hurt/comfort, jealousy, teeny angst if you squint. There is no smut in this part, its all buildup lmao sorry but there will be smut in the next part. Word Count: 10k+ Note: This is a work of fiction and does not portray any of the members irl. I decided to go with a friends to lovers slow burn since you wanted a longer fic anon and I figured I could do a bit more like this, and I was correct, I started writing and just like never stopped? This has become a behemoth of a story and I'll be releasing it in two parts because damn. I know you requested this like a year ago but life happened hard, hopefully you still get to read it.

Author's Personal Note: This week has been awful. I can't describe how tired and scared I have been since Tuesday morning. I haven't written in almost a year because my motivation just was not there and I don't know if it was the existential dread or the overwhelming urge to just be in control of some narrative that drove me to start writing this absolute beast of a story but here we are. Enjoy it, don't, I don't really care either way.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Snow blankets the surrounding hills as you burrow yourself further into your winter puffer. The boys are all running around the field, throwing snowballs at each other and cackling wildly. You chuckle to yourself seeing their childlike display. You have all gathered to film SKZCode "Winter is Coming" (you and the boys had been binge watching Game of Thrones in your free time and decided to take a little inspiration from it for the title) You let out a laugh when you see Changbin nail Hyunjin in the back of the head with a snowball and in true Jinnie fashion Hyunjin dramatically flails on the ground until Changbin comes over to comfort him.

You had been through so much with these eight boys, late nights in the studio recording your parts until they were perfect, early mornings in the dance studio drilling choreography until it was perfect, you loved it all, but moments like these when you could all let loose and have some fun? Those were your favorites.

Being the only woman in the group was a bit of a challenge in some ways, but it was nice having eight guys to look out for you in every aspect of life. You had formed a bond with these guys over the years, each friendship blossoming and holding something unique.

If you ever needed a shoulder to cry on, you knew you could turn to your leader Bang Chan and he wouldn't just comfort you, he would help you figure out what to do. Only one year your senior and yet his wisdom was that of an 85 year old war vet. Chan was your rock.

Need workout tips or someone to belt girl group songs with? Changbin was your man. He was always willing to help you stay healthy, whether that be helping you with your fitness routine, or working on your mental health. Changbin was there for you when antis said you looked too fat and cheered you up all night. He was the ultimate hype man.

Felix was often in your dorm baking with you when you were stressed (stress baking is both a blessing and a curse). He would massage your shoulders when you got too tense. He really was the sunshine in your life.

Whenever you wanted to try something new—a restaurant, an online game, anything at all—Seungmin would join you. He would say he had been meaning to go there or try that anyway, and this just gave him an excuse, but you knew he did it, so you didn't ever feel lonely. He was like the little brother you never had.

You and Hyunjin bonded over your love for art. The two of you had done all the cheesy trends where you paint for ten minutes then swap paintings until they are both finished (it ended up with an abomination with a cat head and a wolf body, you named it Lee Bang after Felix, Bang Chan, and Lee Know, you both laughed so hard you were in tears) you also would often sketch one another to get better at portraits. Time spent with Hyunjin was always amazing.

Anytime you had a fashion emergency you knew you could count on Innie. He would roast your outfits when they were too "millennial sheik" as he would say, but then immediately assist. He was also great to couch rot and watch movies with on your off days. He was basically your bestie.

Anytime you were feeling down and you just really needed a good laugh you knew that you could turn to Jisung. You and Jisung had bonded very hard very early on because you both suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. The two of you had helped each other through so many at this point it was basically second nature. When you ugly sob in front of someone and they trust you enough to do it in return you know it's a friendship built to last. You and Jisung were basically soulmates.

Finally there was Minho. Your relationship with Minho was… interesting, to say the least. You grew close with him simply because he was your soulmate's soulmate. Anywhere Minho went, Jisung went, and anywhere Jisung went, you went. So the three of you grew very close very fast. Minho's sense of humor perfectly matched yours and the two of you would often bicker back and forth simply because it was fun and it often drove the other members crazy. The bickering started innocently enough, however, a few months ago something changed. The bickering you loved became… borderline flirty? The other members often referred to you both as a married couple and would call Jisung your son. It was all in good fun and it really didn't bother you, but every time someone outside the group made the same jokes, Minho would get this look on his face. You couldn't quite place the emotion behind it, but you recently found yourself thinking about it for much too long.

You are brought back to the present from your ruminating when something wet and cold hits the back of your head followed by maniacal laughter.

"Minnie, that was evil!" You try to sound mad but you can't hide the giggles that escape you at the younger boys' antics. He just sticks his tongue out as you and laughs while running away.

You are fully laughing now, trying to shake the snow out of your hair when you feel warm arms wrap around you from behind.

"You're shivering little moon bear" Minho's breathy chuckle ruffles your hair and you laugh.

Shuffling in his arms to face him you look up and pout. "It's cold out! Of course I'm shivering Min. And why do you insist on referring to me by my SKZOO?"

"Because I find the little pout you do every time I do adorable." He smirks down at you and you think the flush adorning your ears is no longer just from the cold.

"YOH LOVEBIRDS GET OVER HERE IT'S TIME TO FILM!" Changbin's voice rings out over the set and you flinch a little which causes Minho to hold you just a bit tighter.

"Come on moon bear, time to film." He gently whispers to you while tucking you under his arm and leading you toward the group.

~✨~

Filming was going great! Sledding with a pitcher of water was pretty hard but you had loads of fun and managed not to come in last. When it came to the balloon popping portion Minho decided to come behind you like he had before filming and wrap his arms around you.

He leaned in to whisper in your ear "You looked cold again little moon bear." You chuckled when he began swaying you both side to side.

"You're going to start a dating rumor if you keep this up Min." You whispered back.

"Let people talk, how can I just stand by while my favorite girl freezes?" Your breath hitched a little at the comment, whispered so close to your ear you could almost feel his lips on your skin.

"Fair, but you have to deal with the staff if it becomes a problem." You sighed out, settling into his warm arms.

He was glued to you for the rest of the shoot.

~✨~

After getting home from the very fun, very cold, shoot, you decided to take a nice long hot shower and then maybe order some delivery when you got out.

You took your time in the shower until you were basically out of hot water then wrapped yourself in your fluffiest towel and went to the kitchen for some water. Your heart almost fell out of your ass and you let out a shriek when you walked by your living room and saw two people sitting on your couch.

"Y/NNIE My eardrums! Why did you have to scream so loud?" Jisung wailed from his spot on the couch.

"Yeah you baby it's just us damn." Minho scoffed. They both froze when they turned and saw you in just a towel, Minho's ears turning a fiery red and Jisung's eyes going wide. They both quickly looked away and started stammering out apologies, not realizing your state of dress. You let out a giggle at their reactions.

"Chill guys, you act like you've never seen a girl in a towel before, you just scared the shit out of me because I didn't know you were coming." They both let out a little laugh at that and relaxed a bit into the couch, still looking anywhere other than at your towel-clad form.

"Sorry, we wanted to surprise you with Kimchi Jjigae since you were so cold today and maybe watch some movies?" Jisung said quietly.

"You brought food? Ignore my previous complaints, Ji, Min, you are both angels who could do no wrong and I love you with all my heart! Let me put some clothes on then we can watch whatever you want yeah?"

"Yeah" "Sounds good" The boys yelled back as you went to your room to change.

You all spent the rest of the night tangled up on the couch watching shitty rom-coms

~✨~

The next morning after dance practice you get home and shower then realize that you're finally going to have a morning free the next day. Scrolling through your phone looking for things to do you come across a poster for the newest horror flick that's showing tonight. You screenshot it and drop it into the group chat titled "SoulBros" Jisung's idea.

SoulBros:

JiJi😘🥰😂: Oh hell no! That movie looks way too scary! Sorry love ur on ur own.

Min😈😘😜: Sorry I promised Lix I would help him with the new choreo.

🌝Bear: You both suck :/ Guess I'll go alone.

JiJi😘🥰😂: Noona ur so old just use emojis 😑

You laugh at Ji's dig; it is accurate. You guess it's time to pull out the big guns. You dial the number on your phone, and on the third ring, it picks up.

"Yes old lady?" You scoff at his (fake) disrespect.

"Minnie, I want to go see the new horror movie tonight because we have a free morning tomorrow but Ji is too scared to come and Minho is busy. Should I go alone?" You bite back your smile knowing what he is going to say.

Seungmin's voice cracks a bit over the phone call and you hear sheets rustling. "That new one about the witch in the woods? I've actually been wanting to see that too but everyone's too scared to come with me. I could go with you if you want?" You smile to yourself, you knew he wouldn't let you go to the movies alone, let alone to a horror film.

~✨~

"That was INSANE! I had no idea he had a brother the whole time!" You are bouncing up and down, filled with adrenaline from the movie.

"Yeah, that was a twist I actually didn't see coming. Pretty crazy." Seungmin is acting all calm but you know he enjoyed the movie as well.

"Hey Minnie, thanks for coming with me. I had a really fun time!" You say while ruffling his hair.

"Yeah yeah, like I said, I wanted to see it too."

"Hey wanna go grab some food before we go home? There's this hot pot spot nearby I've been dying to try!" You look at him with puppy-dog eyes and he lets out a sigh.

"Yeah I'm pretty hungry, and hot pot does sound amazing right about now."

~✨~

After stuffing your faces at the new hot pot place you finally made your way back home. Walking in you let out a long satisfied sigh and take off your shoes.

"Someone's home late." You nearly jump out of your skin at the grumbly voice coming from your living room.

"Jesus Fuck Min one of these days you're gonna give me a heart attack!" You yell out while grabbing a blanket from your armchair and bringing it to the couch where you unceremoniously plop down next to Minho who acts annoyed at your proximity but is quick to wrap an arm around you.

"Where were you? I've been here for like thirty minutes." He almost sounds… worried? Angry? You can't place it.

"Oh I just went to see that movie I texted you and Ji about then went and got some hot pot."

"Alone?"

"Oh no, Minnie came with me. Said he had been wanting to see the movie too but you know that kid, he just doesn't like me doing things alone." Minho grumbles something that you can't quite make out but then squeezes you to his side and turns on the TV.

"What was that Min?"

"I would've gone with you." He looks you dead in the eyes when he says it. You can't figure it out but it almost seems like he's mad at you?

"Well sorry Min, you said you were busy and I didn't know you wanted to see the movie too, I'd see it again if you wanted to go see it?" You try smiling at him to quell whatever was going on with him and it seems to work because he cracks a tiny smile and just pulls you closer to him while putting on the first shitty rom-com he sees.

~✨~

It was finally time for the next SKZCode! The staff didn't tell anyone what these episodes would be about but said you would all have fun.

You walked into the studio and saw a giant game board and war flashbacks of the last time you all played monopoly flashed through your mind. Images of Hyunjin screaming at Seungmin for putting a hotel on the most expensive rent on the board and Seungmin's shit-eating grin flashed through your mind.

The staff quickly explained the game and everyone got super excited. SoulRACHA was glued together any chance you got as per usual and everything was going great… until they announced the heart fluttering game.

Now, you wouldn't say your heart fluttered easily, if Felix had tried to get your heart racing you're sure you would be fine. Changbin? Piece of cake. Of course, you've never been very lucky.

You get paired with Minho. The expert at getting you worked up. (When you bicker! Get your mind out of the gutter.)

"Will you be able to hear what we say?" Minho tries to look innocent as he asks the question, but you can already feel the heat rising to your cheeks.

"Only if you speak loudly, we decided it would be more fun if STAY can't hear what you whisper to each other." One of the staff quickly explains.

Minho's grin turns sinister and a single thought crosses your mind.

I am so fucked.

Minho stalks toward you once the camera starts rolling and comes around behind you to wrap his arms around you like always. You can handle this, this is normal for you two. Your heart rate stays the same.

You feel him lean in until his lips are almost touching your ear.

"Hey there, little moon bear. This skirt you wore today is very pretty, did you wear it for STAY or for me?" He whispers so only you can hear. He is so close to you that you feel his breath tickling your ear.

The ears wiggle a little bit then settle. You can do this Y/N, Pull it together.

Minho notices and chuckles, pulling you tighter against him.

"I'm sure your pretty skirt would look even better with someone's hands underneath it."

You let out a gasp and the guys go wild. You know STAY's are going to have a field day with this footage. You are now squirming in Minho's tight grip, trying to escape his now searing hands, a burning flush spreading across your face.

Minho almost sounds surprised when he breathes out "Shit."

You think about his words and his arms wrapped around you all night.

~✨~

MinBear has become your official ship name from STAY's, after Minho's stunt during the last SKZCode STAY have been posting online about the possibility of you two dating.

You, Minho, and Jisung just laugh about it whenever it gets brought up and everything seems to go back to normal between you and Minho.

If you dream about him whispering those words in your ear at night, well that's just nobody's business.

~✨~

During the next SKZCode the staff decides to play into STAY's delusions and make you and Minho play husband and wife. The catch? Minho is the wife.

~✨~

"HAHAHA HYUNG, NOONA, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!" Innie's voice carries across the room when you and Minho walk into the room. Minho is in the brown wig from SKZ Family, a gaudy pink dress with far too many ruffles, and ballet flats with little pink bows on them while you are wearing a wig with a receding hairline (bye bye idol image), a flannel shirt, and blue jeans. The boys all burst out laughing when you two strike a pose and show off your "wedding rings" (they are blue raspberry ring pops).

"Hello everyone! I am Joe and this is my second wife Mindy!" You smile at the group and they all start howling with laughter one again.

You both decided to play into the roles WAY too much to hopefully show STAY that you two really are just best friends. You don't need the dating rumors to turn into a full blown scandal.

"Oh baby, dear, my loveliest little sunflower, who do you think is the killer?" You turn to Minho and try to hold back your laughter at seeing him wrestle with the ruffles that keep coming up from the collar and tickling his nose.

"Oh my handsome, manly, bravest lionheart, I think it was that barista for sure!" He looks up and bats his eyelashes at you for dramatic effect.

And for some reason, instead of spewing back some heinously cheesy line, you are struck with a totally unwelcome thought.

Minho is so Pretty.

What the fuck?

~✨~

The rest of the shoot goes by fairly quickly. It devolves into chaos, as things normally do with the nine of you. But the rest of the time you are a little more fidgety than usual. The unwelcome thought about your best friend Minho burrowing into your brain until it fully settles and the shoot is over and you are left with the realization that your best friend is pretty.

You'd rather not unpack that.

~✨~

A few weeks pass by and you successfully manage to bury your realization about Minho deep in your subconscious to the point where you haven't thought about it in two whole days! (That's impressive! Really! You initially thought about it at least five times a day… okay like five times an hour)

Finally the group had a whole weekend off! No SKZCode, no crazy schedules, just you, your two best friends, a mountain of takeout and snacks, and a movie marathon.

"Pass the popcorn Ji!" You made grabby hands at Jisung and he just laughed and passed over the bowl.

"Oi! Ya big babies scooch and make some room I wanna be in the middle." Minho yelled out, passing you both a soju bottle.

"Oooohh hyung you know me so well! I love the Strawberry soju!" Jisung grabbed his bottle, smiling up at Minho.

"And you got me yogurt flavored? You must really love us Min!" You smiled up at Minho.

Minho looked down at Jisung then over to you where his eyes lingered a beat too long. You held eye contact until it was a bit too much for you and you looked away. You heard Minho let out a small chuckle as he sat between you and Jisung.

"A toast! To my two best friends, Soulmates, and other cheesy shit!" Minho laughed while raising his own soju.

"To other cheesy shit!" You and Ji said in unison, toasting and gulping down some soju.

You three continued drinking and laughing and having a blast while the movies played in the background. At some point Minho had put his arms around you and Ji and the two of you were snuggling into him watching the movie. You were pulled out of your focus when you started to hear soft snoring coming from Minho's lap where Jisung's head was resting. You smiled and reached over to softly comb your fingers through his hair. You felt Minho softly chuckle under you and you lifted your head to meet his eyes where he was smiling down fondly at you and Ji.

"You two are so adorable, " he said softly, trying not to wake Jisung. You smiled, and your hazy mind decided that was the moment to open the box you had sealed shut weeks ago.

"You're so pretty Min." You all but whispered the words, but Minho heard you loud and clear. His breath lightly hitched and he raised his hand to stroke your cheek.

"You are so beautiful my little moon bear."

~✨~

Weeks passed and the movie night incident was never spoken of. The shared moment between you and Minho had been something so soft and intimate you were afraid of what you would say if he ever brought it up. But thankfully he never did. So you just went on with your life. Your schedule was about to get busy again anyway so there was plenty to keep it out of your mind… right?

~✨~

You can't get it out of your head. No matter what you do it is all you can think about and it is stressing you out. So you do what you do every time you get stressed.

You bake.

After gathering all the ingredients you snap a picture and send it off to Felix.

Y/nnie🤩🧁: [Photo Attached]

Lixxie🍰🍫: I'm on my way.

Felix knew you really only baked when you were stressed out since you never really had the time but the act made you calm down a bit so when he got the picture of all the baking supplies he must have known that you needed a friend because not even twenty minutes later there you were in your kitchen baking enough brownies to feed a small town.

"Soooo, you gonna tell me what brought this stress baking spree on?" He asked softly like he was coaxing a cat out from under the bed. You almost wanted to laugh.

"What gave me away?" You laughed.

"Well when you are baking just to bake you usually only make enough for the nine of us, this is enough to feed the whole company Y/nnie, so tell me what's going on?" You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding and put down your baking tools.

"Lix I don't even know what's going on to be honest. Things with one of my good friends have recently gotten a little…tense? Weird? I don't know. And I don't know if it's just me or if they are feeling it too you know?" Felix is looking at you like he knows exactly what you're talking about and you briefly panic wondering if he can read minds. Then he lets out a sigh and pulls you in for a hug. You melt into his familiar embrace and allow him to hold you while he slowly speaks.

"Things being weird between friends is never fun. In my experience the best way to fix things is through open communication. Just tell this person what you feel and see if they feel the same then go from there." He says while slowly stroking your hair.

"That's the issue Lix, I don't know what I am feeling."

"Ah, well that seems like a good place to start then yeah?"

~✨~

You haven't had time to think about what you and Lix had talked about. Between recording and practicing choreography you barely had time to eat let alone think. So you focused on work. For now.

The next scheduled SKZCode was going to be a haunted house.

Now here's the thing. Haunted houses are objectively not scary. HOWEVER, if someone with you jumps, you tend to jump as well. If someone screams, so do you. So if you are paired with a scaredy cat, you will get scared. And the staff love to make you seem extra cutesy since you are the only girl so of course you get paired with Minho and Jisung.

Jisung is going to get scared. You know in your heart that he is going to scream and he might even cry. Minho on the other hand is going to try and scare you and Ji, and it is going to work. You know this because the three of you have gone to haunted houses together before and that is exactly what happened.

So you resigned yourself to your fate.

~✨~

"Noona, hyung, I am so scared, what if a real monster snuck on set and is hiding with the staff members and it sees us and eats us?" Ji whimpered as he clung onto one of Minho's arms.

"Sungie that's silly, a monster wouldn't eat us here on camera, it would follow us home and eat us there so there was no proof!" Minho snickers as you whack his side.

"Don't scare our poor Ji any more than he already is Min! His poor little heart can't take it!" you hiss at him under your breath. Your slightly shaky voice gives away the fact that you too were getting scared.

"Oh relax y/nnie, Sungie and you are gonna be just fine with me here to protect you." Minho said softly while squeezing you a little more into his side.

Well that was new. He'd usually make fun of you for getting scared and try to rile you up even more. But his tone… it was the same one he had used during the movie night.

That was definitely something you didn't want to think about right now while you were on camera.

You continued through the haunted house, nothing really getting to you, until you opened one room and walked into complete darkness.

Your breath hitched and you clung to Minho a bit tighter. He responded by rubbing soothing circles onto your arm and pulling you a bit closer into his side.

The lights came on and a staff in a costume jumped out and scared you. You and Jisung started screaming and Minho flung himself in front of you. Your eyes widened at the gesture and you looked over to Jisung only to see him looking between you and Minho with a questioning look on his face. This was definitely going to cause a dating scandal if you didn't do something quick, so without skipping a beat you grabbed Jisung and dramatically clung to him. He seemed to get the message and reciprocated. The both of you clinging onto one another while yelling. The whole scene was honestly quite hilarious and adorable.

Minho seemed to come out of it and turned around to see his two best friends clinging onto one another dramatically and cracked a smile before full blown laughing at you two. You and Jisung slowly looked at one another and slowly detangled your limbs, then burst out laughing.

With the tension dissipated you all went through the rest of the haunted house without any further incidents.

Yet Minho's tone rang in your ears, reminding you of what he said last time

"You are so beautiful my little moon bear."

~✨~

The next SKZCode was coming up and the group had been gushing about it the whole time. A camping trip! You would get to play games with the guys, eat delicious food, and even go fishing! The catch? You would all be sleeping on the floor in the same room. Normally this would be no problem. You would cuddle up with Jisung and Minho and all would be good. Now though?

You decided to finally listen to Felix and figure out what you were feeling by laying out some facts.

Fact one: You think Minho is pretty, like unfairly pretty, but then again so does everyone else. So that could mean anything really.

Fact two: Minho acted really weird when you went to the movies with Seungmin, something you do very frequently. You have no clue what that was.

Fact three: When Minho whispered something dirty in your ear it caused something to flutter in you. He was just joking and trying to get your heart racing for the game so surely it meant nothing right?

Fact four: You called Minho pretty and he called you beautiful. You had said things like that before but never whispered and inches from each other's faces… That one… you don't know what to do with.

Fact five: You are clueless as to what all this means.

Cool. Well that was a waste of time.

~✨~

You and the boys piled out of the cars and started to get everything ready for the night. You split off into groups, people needed to go shopping, people needed to cook, people decided to do each other's hair? Not really sure what that has to do with camping but you, Minho, and Jisung gave each other silly little hairdos and everything was great. The day absolutely flew by and you were doing so great not thinking about the way Minho makes you feel.

Finally you were all seated around the campfire. Jisung got saddled with cooking everyone breakfast in the morning and even though he is your best friend you do not want to wake up early so you start to devise a plan to get out of it.

Chan peels Jisung a sweet potato to appeal to him. Damn that's hard to top. You are scrambling to come up with something to top that and miss what is being said until you hear Minho's voice.

"I won't be fake either. I love you."

Everyone burst out laughing at Minho's proclamation to Jisung but you feel… weird. You are looking between Jisung and Minho and there's this pit in your stomach, almost like…

No

No fucking way.

No way are you jealous right now.

Jisung and Minho are best friends just like you and Minho and you and Ji are… and yet…

Shit.

Everything starts to make sense, the bickering, the playful flirting, the butterflies in your stomach.

You have a huge fucking crush on Lee Minho.

As you come to this realization, you lock eyes with him from across the campfire. His smirk softens, and he gently smiles at you.

Oh fuck, what are you going to do?

~✨~

You all lay down for the night and as usual you are sandwiched between your two boys, not so usual, you are clinging to Ji like your life depends on it and are slowly scooting further from Minho's touch.

He giggles probably thinking you are messing with him and grabs your waist to pull you flush to him.

"Where do you think you're going, little moon bear?" He whispers into your ear.

You almost whimper. Almost. You manage to pull your shit together because you are all still on camera and make a show of grabbing for Jisung in front of you.

"I'm cold! I need Ji's heat or else I'll die in the night!" You say dramatically, trying to play it off. Minho must buy it because he remains silent behind you and the three of you get cozy before eventually falling asleep.

~✨~

You wake up in the morning With Minho's entire body wrapped around you. Jisung is trying to get up so he can go to the store with Chan.

"Noona, I've got to go so I can make you breakfast, promise I'll be back soon." Jisung laughs as you pout at him leaving you and you sigh and grumble. You are still a bit cold so you shimmy around so you are now facing Minho.

He is still asleep, so you allow yourself to look at him. You take in his cute little bunny teeth, the little mole on his nose, and his eyelashes fluttering. Oh, his eyes are open, and he caught you staring.

Well that's fucking embarrassing.

He just smiles and pulls you in a little tighter, looking back at you. His eyes pass from your eyes, to your nose, and down to your lips where he lingers for a moment too long. Then he looks back into your eyes.

"Good morning moon bear." He softly whispers. You feel his breath fan against your face and you try not to let your eyelashes flutter at the action.

"Good morning Min." You whisper back. His eyelashes do flutter and you have to hold yourself back from jumping to any conclusions. For a few moments you just gaze into each other's eyes in silence. Finally he reaches a hand up and brushes your cheek.

"Beautiful." It's the smallest whisper but you are barely an inch from his face so you catch it. Minho adjusts his hand so he is now cupping your cheek and your heart starts to hammer in your chest.

Is he about to kiss you?

"Min." It's a breathless whisper, you're so close to him now you're sure he felt it more than heard it.

"WHO WANTS RAMYEON?!" Jisung's voice wakes everyone up and the moment passes. Minho's eyes close and he seems to be frustrated.

You are dying inside.

Was he about to kiss you?

~✨~

The day passes too quickly. You all eat and play games and everything is totally normal on the surface. You have to be normal because you are being filmed. Minho doesn't act any differently, he certainly doesn't bring up the almost-maybe kiss. You decide that if he wants to talk about it then he will talk to you. So you do what you do best.

You perform for the camera and ignore your stupid feelings.

~✨~

You're full on spiraling at this point. Every time you close your eyes you see Minho gazing into your eyes, about to pull you in.

You shake your head. No, this isn't real. Your silly little crush is making you delusional. Minho wasn't going to kiss you, he just called you beautiful and held your face because… because… well you can't think of another explanation, but there must be one because it has been days and Minho hasn't brought it up and if he wanted to kiss you then surely he would have brought it up… right?

Fuck this.

The next SKZCode is coming up and you can just focus on that and not Minho's sparkling eyes, his plush lips, his little nose mole… Fuck. You are officially down bad.

Well you know what that means.

It's time to do something stupid.

~✨~

"Innie! I need your help!" You shout as you walk into the boys dorm. The brunette pops his head out of his door and looks you up and down.

"Yeah I'd say you definitely do." He says distastefully.

"Damn child who raised you?"

"Definitely not you Noona or I'd be dressing like a Target commercial."

You both burst out laughing at that.

"Fair point, but seriously, I need your opinion on what to wear for the next SKZCode."

"Oooh a fashion emergency? Of course you would come to me! Well come right in Noona, we will fix that god awful outfit you've got on in no time!"

He grabbed your hand and dragged you into the room.

"So are we going for Kawaii like usual or did you want to look like one of the guys? I know this is acrobatics so we are looking more toward athleisure type outfits." I.N. says all of this while digging through his closet looking for the stash of your clothes he hid in there.

"Well I was actually thinking I wanted to look… sexy?…" I.N. froze in his closet when you spoke. "I mean obviously not like crazy sexy or anything I just want to look really good you know? Not like a cute little girl and not boyish either. Does that make sense?" I.N. stood up and slowly turned to look at you with a Cheshire grin on his face.

"Noona. I have been waiting my whole life to hear you say those words."

~✨~

You look hot. Holy fuck you have never looked this good in front of the guys. Even at premieres and shows you've always been kawaii or dudebro to match the guys but this? The crop top Innie puts you in fits you in all the best ways, it's low cut enough to be provocative but not enough to be slutty. The back is cut out and it is the perfect shade for your skin tone. But the pants. My god your ass has never looked more smackable. It's like I.N. knew exactly who your target audience was. Your hair is done up in a cute ponytail with the little strands hanging out the front.

You look like sex on legs.

"Jesus Innie you're a god at this."

"I know, I take payment in food and coffee."

"Innie I'd buy you a five course meal for this shit god damn."

You both started laughing and he reached behind him to grab something.

"The final touch."

~✨~

You walked into the studio and it suddenly got very quiet. All the boys were looking at you with varying expressions.

"So? What do you all think? Didn't I do an amazing job?" I.N. grinned at the rest of the guys who were ranging from outright ogling you to shyly avoiding your gaze.

"Yeah Innie you did great." Chan was the first to speak and after that the compliments kept flowing from everyone except the one person you wanted.

Oh well. Onto phase two.

~✨~

You made sure to get a spot right in front of Minho so he could see the full extent of Innie's 'final touch'. A bow in your hair long enough to basically make a runway to the swell of your ass.

The episode went by pretty fast, you were actually having a lot of fun doing all the poses. You noticed when you did the mermaid pose Minho made a noise, a grunt? Maybe a gasp? Whatever it was you were certain your plan was working. Now all you had to do was actually talk to him about what you felt like Felix had recommended.

Once the episode was over you headed over to Minho.

"Hey, Min, you got a sec?" You put your hands behind your back to maximize the silhouette's effect.

"Actually no, sorry, I've got to get home, lots of stuff to get done. I'll text you later okay?" Minho was avoiding your eyes and shuffling from one foot to the other.

"Oh, okay… I guess I'll talk to you later?" You leaned your head down to catch his eye and when he finally locked eyes with you his gaze was searing and sent a chill down your spine.

"Yeah."

~✨~

Well that was fucking weird and definitely not the reaction you had been hoping for. Mr. Self proclaimed butt hunter didn't even attempt to slap your ass in these phenomenal leggings you wore just for him. You groaned into your pillow and allowed yourself to feel frustrated. Any time you had big feelings like this there was always one thing that helped.

You shot Hyunjin a text and after receiving a confirmation you headed to the art studio.

~✨~

Lo-fi music playing on the speaker, a nice hot cup of coffee sitting next to you, and a medium blank canvas sat in front of you, what more could you want? You let the atmosphere wash over you as you tried to use your frustration to create a work of art.

You have no idea how much time has passed, you never do when you're painting with Hyunjin. You could occasionally hear his soft humming and brush-strokes glide across his canvas.

Time with Hyunjin always seemed to calm you down. Maybe it was the chill playlist he favored for the occasion, maybe it was the smell of coffee in the air, or maybe it was the way he simply existed with you in the moment, not requiring you to engage.

You added the final touches on the canvas and nodded to yourself.

"Hyune?" Hyunjin hummed in response.

"What do you think of this one?" You gestured to the finished piece in front of you. Hyunjin stood up and stretched before coming over to admire your work.

"It feels… lonely. Like you are reaching for something in the distance but it's too far away for you to grasp." You simply hummed in response and Hyunjin laid his head on your shoulder.

"I like it Y/N, it's…" He went silent for a moment before sighing and wrapping his arms around you.

"It's beautiful."

~✨~

Weeks had passed since the failed seduction attempt on your part and Minho had been annoyingly 'busy' so you hadn't really seen him outside of your work schedule. The distance was getting to you and you started to wonder if you had done something wrong. Minho had never gone this long without reaching out to hang out or simply showing up at your apartment in years. You couldn't shake the feeling that he was avoiding you and it hurt. A lot. That hurt turned to borderline anger when you saw on Ji's story that he and Minho were having a movie night.

Without you.

You checked the group chat to see if you had missed an invite but there hadn't been a message in over a week since Ji had sent you both a cat meme. Maybe Minho noticed your attempt at flirting and decided that ghosting you was better than outright rejection? Even if that was the case the two of you were both close with Ji and not to mention your co-workers, so how could he just cut you out like that? Jisung hadn't even mentioned the movie night and that hurt you too.

Were you losing both your best friends because you had some stupid feelings?

You felt yourself starting to spiral but before you hit the point of no return you took some calming breaths and closed your eyes. You could not break, not now, you had a busy schedule coming up so you focused on that instead.

Thankfully, it was time to film the next SKZCode so at least you got to do something fun. You prepared yourself to get into the Christmas spirit.

~✨~

The staff welcomed you all in and explained the premise of the episode. You were all going to play games and try and win someone over to end up partnered by the end. You immediately thought of MinBear and how much STAY would love to see the two of you end up together before remembering that you and Minho were currently fighting.

Okay maybe not fighting but it's not like you are exactly on speaking terms. The only communication you'd had in weeks was him correcting you in dance practice.

You couldn't go to Ji either, You were mad at him too. Okay mad is maybe an overstatement but you were definitely not happy.

That left the obvious choice.

You decided to set your sights on Felix. You figured the kawaii image you were presenting mixed with his sunshine would be adorable for STAY. To your credit it works pretty well… for about five minutes. You're not sure what exactly happened but one minute you were fake-flirting with Lix, trying to match up with him, the next he is shyly moving away from you and talking to Hyunjin.

You're confused to say the least, that is until you feel soft breaths on your neck.

"Awh are you eating all alone little moon bear? Don't worry, I'll sit with you." You fight the shudders that threaten to run down your spine hearing Minho's voice so close to you after him being so distant for so long.

"Oh, so you're talking to me now huh Min?" You mean to sound angry but it barely masks the hurt in your softly spoken words. You look down at your lap to hide the tears welling up in your eyes.

Minho goes quiet for a moment then gently pulls your face up, angled away from the camera so STAY couldn't see your tear-laden eyes. A small gasp comes from his mouth.

"Jagi…" He softly whispers before hugging you tight to his chest. "Y/N, sweetheart, why are you crying?" He whispers in your hair to shield his lips from the camera.

"It's nothing Min, I'm okay. Let's just keep eating or STAY will worry about us."

"I don't care if STAY worries, my favorite girl is crying and I'm going to comfort her." You pull away a bit at his words to look into his eyes.

"I'm still your favorite girl?" You whisper the question and you hear Minho's small sound of disbelief at your question.

"Of course jagiya, you've always been my favorite girl. Let's talk more after the skit yeah?"

"Okay."

~✨~

Minho makes sure to stick by your side the rest of the shoot. The two of you end up a pair at the end and as you walk out of the room, prepared to head to the recording studio you are surprised when Minho leads you out the door instead.

"Min, where are we going? Channie oppa told us to go to the recording booth after the shoot."

"I texted him and told him that you needed the afternoon off because you weren't feeling well and that I was going to come take care of you. He said it was okay, so I'm taking you home."

"Oh, okay then."

You both remain silent as you approach the company car and Minho opens the door for you and you both slide in. The ride is unusually quiet for the two of you and you are worried that Minho might be mad at you for something and the longer the silence continues, the higher your anxiety spikes.

By the time you reach your apartment you have over-analyzed every interaction the two of you have had over the past few weeks and you have convinced yourself that Minho actually just hates you and is taking you home to break the news in private so none of the cameras catch you crying again.

You are panicking. You can't lose him because of some stupid attraction you may feel. He is one of your best friends and losing him would be devastating.

Once you reach the door of your apartment you are so close to having a panic attack that your hands start shaking as you try to insert your key into the lock. Minho stands and waits while you shakily unlock and open the door. Once you are inside you are frozen in place waiting for the worst.

Then Minho gathers you in his arms and holds you tight.

"It's okay jagi, you're safe here." He whispers as he starts rubbing soothing circles on your back. You don't even realize you are crying again until he lifts your head by your chin and wipes your tears away. You smile softly and Minho returns it.

You are okay. He is not mad at you. Everything is alright.

"Come on sweetheart, let's go cuddle on the couch and watch a shitty rom-com."

You silently nod and he leads you both to the couch. You sit, his arms still wrapped around you as he guides you to rest your head on his chest. You both stay like that as he starts up one of your favorite movies.

You both watch the movie, Minho rubbing soothing circles on your skin while you nuzzle into his warmth. It is quiet for some time until Minho lets out a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry I made you worry Y/N, I really was busy and some things came up and I just needed a guys night with Ji, I hope you understand I am not mad at you and you are still my favorite girl." Minho's words made you smile and you sunk further into his embrace.

"It's okay Min, I guess I just felt left out and it messed with me for a minute but I get it. We are good." You looked up into his eyes and in a whisper added:

"Promise."

~✨~

There was an electric feeling in the air. You and the boys were beyond excited for your second world tour. This time you were going to go back to Chan and Felix's home country. The two aussies had spent entirely too much time teaching you and the boys all the important aussie slang you would need and helping you all with your English.

The Maniac tour was set to be your biggest endeavor as a group yet. Minho was drilling the choreo into everyone relentlessly and often spent his free time one-on-one helping each member who asked. Ji was always in the studio with his fellow 3Racha members to ensure everything was perfect. And you? You were spending every free moment you could with Felix trying to perfect your English so you could communicate with the international STAYs.

It was overwhelming but you all pushed yourselves to the limit because you wanted to be amazing for STAY.

Finally the day came and it was time for your first concert.

The lights were blinding and the stadium was so loud you could barely hear yourself think.

It was exhilarating.

The concert went by so fast and you had such a great time with your fellow members.

You were still in Seoul but it all felt new, you couldn't believe you and your boys had made it this far.

The next two shows flew by and your time in Japan was short. You and the boys tried your best to keep filming your logs for the STAYs who couldn't make it to the shows. Everything was amazing.

Finally it was time to head overseas to America. U.S. STAYs were much louder than your STAYs back home. The atmosphere was incredible and you all had the time of your lives performing in the U.S. again. You and the boys tried to speak as much English as you could but it is a hard language for you all so you relied heavily on the aussies for translation help.

In between shows you, Ji, and Min would hole up in one of your hotel rooms and gush about how much fun this all was and how excited you all were to finally go to Australia. You would watch bits of movies before ultimately passing out in a cuddle pile on someone's bed, only to wake up and repeat the next day.

The days flew by and before you knew it it was time to hop on a plane headed to Chan and Felix's home. You all made sure you had time planned to meet their families and have a good time while in the land down under.

When you arrived at the hotel to check in, the staff found out that there was a mistake and only seven rooms had been booked. Someone must have thought Chan and Felix were staying with their families but they simply lived too far from the concert venues. After a very long flight and eager to sleep off your jet lag, everyone was too tired to argue about who would be sharing rooms until Minho spoke up.

"Y/N, Ji, and I have kinda been sharing this whole tour anyway, we may as well just share a room from the get-go if that is okay with everyone else?"

The staff looked bewildered at Minho's suggestion. A girl sharing a room with two boys? That's quite unusual. But the other members were used to you three having slumber parties all the time back home and just shrugged it off insisting that if you were fine with it so were they.

So, you three headed up to your shared room.

~✨~

"Ugh, I could sleep for like a week at this point." Jisung groaned out before promptly falling face-first onto the nearest bed to him.

"Yah! Hannie, you know I like sleeping further from the door, give Y/N that bed and you and I can share the other." Minho glared at the younger boy already getting comfortable in the bed.

"Hyuuuunnnggg I'm already in this one though." Jisung whined out and sank further under the covers.

"Min it's okay, Ji can have that bed and you and I can just share the other. I prefer being close to the window anyway." You said sleepily before heading over to the far bed and setting up your stuff on the nightstand.

"Are you sure Y/nnie? I can kick the lazy quokka out if you'd prefer a bed to yourself."

"I'm sure Min, we all have been sleeping on one bed almost every night of the tour anyway, I'm kind of used to having someone next to me anyway." You shrugged and gathered your sleep clothes.

"I'm gonna go shower real quick, airplanes always make me feel greasy, either of you need to use the bathroom before I go?" You asked the two. Jisung had already passed out and you and Minho just laughed at the sleepy boy before Minho looked up at you.

"No, you're all good. I'll shower after you too so our bed doesn't get gross like Sungie's." You both started laughing and you went to the bathroom and hopped in the shower.

While in the shower you let your thoughts roam. You had been so busy with the tour and Jisung had been stuck with you and Minho the whole time as well so you hadn't had time to think about your maybe-feelings for Minho. Now you were confronted with the fact that while you all were here there would be no escaping to your own room if things got too weird for you.

Not just that but you were sharing a bed with him.

You and Minho had slept in the same bed many times but you were almost always accompanied by Jisung as well. Now it would just be the two of you…

It won't be weird if you don't make it weird.

Right?

~✨~

You finally got out of the shower and changed into your pajamas. After doing your skincare you came out of the bathroom and stopped in place when you looked up and saw a shirtless Minho standing in the middle of the room. His back was facing you and you took a second to admire his strong shoulder muscles down to the dip in his back, just above the hem of his shorts. You could've stood there staring forever but when Minho started to pull down his shorts you made a small noise, something between a whimper and a groan. Minho stiffened and dramatically turned toward you with a hand over his pecs.

"Y/N! Sorry! I didn't hear you come out. I was going to change into my robe before going in after you. Sorry about that. I'll just… bring it with me." The tips of his ears were a fiery red and you're sure you were no better. You could feel yourself flushing and you quickly looked down and nodded as he passed by you and quickly went into the bathroom to shower.

Well that didn't help your situation.

You crawled into bed and tried to calm yourself down but every time you closed your eyes you just saw a shirtless Minho again. You lightly groaned and turned your body away from the bathroom and tried to will yourself to fall asleep before Minho came back so you didn't have to face him.

Of course that didn't work. You had been so tired when you got here but now you were like a live wire and you knew that sleep would not come easily.

When Minho returned from his shower he said nothing as he slowly climbed into the bed next to you. It was quiet for a moment before he broke the silence.

"Sooo… do you want to cuddle?" He said it slowly and quietly and you internally screamed. There is no way you would fall asleep if Minho was touching you… and yet.

"Yeah, that sounds nice." You quietly answered.

Minho scooted closer to you and wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you tightly.

"Is this good?" He whispered. You could feel how close he was when he spoke, his breath tickling your ear.

"Yeah, it's perfect."

You were so fucked.

~✨~

Just as you thought, it took you forever to fall asleep. However, when you woke up you felt completely relaxed, you had somehow gotten the best night's sleep you had had in a very long time. You slowly came to consciousness and the first thing you noticed was a hair on your face tickling your nose. You realized there was some sort of breeze on your face, cracking an eye open and you bit back a squeak at the sight before you.

You had shifted in the night and were now, yet again, face-to-face with a sleeping Minho. His arms were wrapped tightly around you and your legs were tangled. He was beautiful like this. Soft breaths coming out from him as he peacefully slept. You stared at him in wonder and decided that a few more moments of this wouldn't hurt.

After some time passed Minho eventually began to stir. He groaned and hugged you a bit tighter before opening his eyes. You were both quiet, allowing the peaceful moment in an otherwise chaotic few months. You softly smiled and he returned it.

"G'morning jagi." He whispered, trying not to break the peaceful atmosphere the two of you were caught in.

"Good morning sleepyhead." You softly chuckled and he giggled in return, nuzzling slightly closer to you.

"I could get used to this, you know?" He whispered, now inches from your face. You breath hitched at his comment and before you could respond there was a loud banging on your door.

"YAH WAKE UP LAZY BUMS IT'S TIME TO GET READY!" Chan's voice rang out and Minho groaned, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. You heard Jisung yelp from the other bed at Chan's command.

"Time to go." Minho groaned.

~✨~

The next few days were a blur. The Aussie STAYs were crazy. The concerts were so much fun but you were all so exhausted that by the time you got back to the hotel it took all of your energy to shower before crawling back into bed.

You and Minho slept in each other's arms every night.

Once the concerts were over you were all invited to the Bang residence for dinner. All nine of you laughed and ate and bonded with Chan's family. It was amazing and you never wanted it to end, but eventually it was time to go. You and Hannah exchanged numbers, her saying you needed a girl friend being surrounded by the eight loud boys all the time. You laughed and agreed, saving her number immediately.

You would cherish the time you got to spend in Australia forever.

~✨~

The rest of the tour flew by, the nine of you really giving it your all and after months it was finally time to come back home. You were so excited to sleep in your own bed again and get back into your normal crazy schedule.

The first few nights back home were odd. You couldn't fall asleep no matter how tired you were. You assumed it was just the jet lag but after days of bad sleep you were ready to snap.

It was a normal day filled with dance practice and small photoshoots but you were so exhausted you felt like you were going to fall over at any minute. You noticed Minho looked dead tired as well. You wondered if he was having trouble adjusting as well.

After your schedule was done for the day you decided to take a nice walk to try and calm your mind. After walking up and down the Han rivers shore a few times you decided it was time to head home.

You entered your apartment to the sound of the TV on and smiled.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" you jokingly asked the boy on your couch.

"I've been sleeping like shit and decided to see if it's my bed or just me so I came to stay here if that's cool with you?" Minho didn't look away from the TV as he spoke.

"You're always welcome here Min you know that. Wanna order takeout?" You plopped next to him on the couch and leaned on his shoulder.

"Already got your favorite from that one place with the noodles you like." He wrapped an arm around you and turned on yet another shitty rom-com for you two to watch. You let out a hum of approval and sank into his embrace before answering.

"Thanks Min, you're the best."

"Anything for my favorite girl."

You and Minho sat in content silence until the food came. You both ate as much as you could handle before settling back to finish your movie. Once it was over you stretched and yawned, feeling more exhausted than you had in a long time. Minho smiled at you and reached out for your hand.

"You look exhausted, let's head to bed."

You sleepily nodded and took his hand. He led you to your room where you both climbed into bed and he gathered you into his arms just like he had back in Sydney. You both let out a content sigh at the contact and before you knew it you were out.

You slept like the dead. You didn't realize how much you missed Minho's presence until you had it once again. After that there was an unspoken agreement between the two of you to share a bed until further notice. You loved the contact but the longer it continued the more your feelings grew.

You think you might be falling in love with your best friend and for the first time you think you might be okay with that.

[forlix]

‧ ❆ ˚ 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬

— eight winter-themed fics for each member of stray kids written by myself (@forlix) and my sahar (@astraystayyh)! alternatively titled dead dick december lmfaooo

— important notes :

6/8 completed; last updated 3/19/24

no specific holidays are mentioned by name

gendered pronouns used only in chan's, minho's, and han's fics

minors & ageless blogs please dni w/ han's fic as it is nsfw

fics will be posted between dec. 2023 and mar. 2024

. . . also, we will be opening a taglist for this series! send me or sahar an ask or reply to either of our masterlists if you'd like to be added ♡ (minors and ageless blogs will not be tagged in han's)

pieces of you・bang chan・@astraystayyh・8.7k ⤷ single dad!chan, neighbors!au, fluff, angst, slow burn. posted 2/12/24.

in which you and chan are each other's missing pieces. alternatively, chan and his daughter come knocking at your apartment asking for flour, and he's suddenly no longer embarrassed when you open the door.

something has melted・lee minho・@forlix ⤷ spy x family!au, fake dating!au, fluff

your obnoxious coworkers never get off your ass about how single you are, and your temporary husband is too happy to make them eat their words.

burning in the winter wind・seo changbin・@astraystayyh・4.4k ⤷ (fake) enemies to lovers, college!au, hurt/comfort. posted 2/26/24.

sustaining an ankle injury during a ski retreat isn't fun. especially when seo changbin volunteers to stay back to tend to you—the one man you can never get a read on.

the snow falls, we fall apart・hwang hyunjin・@astraystayyh ⤷ roommates!au, friends to lovers, slow burn, hurt/comfort. posted 3/19/24.

when heartbreak looms on your life, and winter becomes a time you loathe, hyunjin helps you rewrite your memories with the season, and with it, everything you once believed about love.

(18+) empty my mind・han jisung・@forlix・6.4k ⤷ friends with benefits to lovers, smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort. posted 1/6/24.

stars flare brightest in the absence of light, and you see his clearer than day.

everything has changed (besides myself)・lee felix・@forlix・5.4k ⤷ babysitter!au, exes to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff. posted 12/9/23.

you spend three years loving him, six months losing him, and four hours waiting for him to get the hell out of your house. but the human heart is more stubborn than you know.

warm winter・kim seungmin・@forlix ⤷ established relationship, hurt/comfort, fluff

"i don't deserve you," he breathes, "but god, i want to."

please fall before i fall・yang jeongin・@astraystayyh・2.8k ⤷ childhood best friends to lovers, fluff, hint of unrequited love (they're idiots). posted 1/18/24.

three times you saved jeongin's ass and the one time he saved yours (and ended up confessing along the way).

© 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐱 (est. 090323) · all works are pieces of original writing and all characters and relationships are purely fictional. please do not repost or reuse for any reason.

[soaplickerrr]

Accidentally Coincidental

CHAPTER 12 (click pictures for better quality)

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a/n: updates will be slow, i'm working on a pretty long fic on my side blog.

pairing: Idol!Kim Seungmin x Fem!College Student!Reader

genre: contemporary romance

SMAU

synopsis: Y/N, a regular college student accidentally texts Seungmin, a star in the K-pop group Stray Kids while trying to text her Ex, Soonyoung to come pick up his things, leading to an unexpected connection that blossoms into a heartfelt romance.

ignore time stamps, dates (other than the ones mentioned during texting) and typos

THERES A WRITTEN PART, DO NOT JUST SCROLL THROUGH THE PICS!

Seungmin leaned back against the couch in the dorm's living room, scrolling through his phone while Han and Felix' voices echoed around him (Chan and Han are visiting).

He knew it was only a matter of time before someone brought it up—the picture Han had sent earlier in the group chat.

Sure enough, Han entered the room with a smug grin, holding his phone like a prize.

"So," Han started, his voice dripping with mischief, "did lunch go well, Romeo?"

Seungmin barely looked up. "It was fine, thanks for asking."

"Fine?" Han pressed, plopping down beside him. "That didn't look like fine. You looked like you were on cloud nine. And walking her back to the editing department? Very gentlemanly of you."

Felix, who was lounging on the other side of the room, chimed in. "I thought you said you were too busy for this kind of thing. Guess Y/N is the exception?"

Seungmin sighed, finally putting his phone down. "You guys are exhausting."

Bang Chan appeared from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. "Cut him some slack. It's not every day Seungmin willingly spends his lunch break with someone other than us."

"Exactly," Han said, leaning forward dramatically. "Which is why we need details! Is this serious? Are we getting wedding invites soon?"

Seungmin groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "No one's getting wedding invites. We're just… getting to know each other. That's all."

"But you like her," Felix said, his tone more sincere now.

Seungmin was taken aback, his sarcasm faltering for a moment. "Yeah," he admitted softly. "I do. But I'd appreciate it if you guys didn't make a big deal out of it."

"Alright," Bang Chan said with a nod. "We'll tone it down. Just don't mess it up, okay?"

Seungmin smirked, his confidence returning. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

Chan puts his hands up in defense "I believe you. Also, that’s not a word, Han."

“What?” Han looked up from his phone.

“Gentlemanly isn’t a word.” Chan said, walking back to the kitchen to finish putting the dishes away.

- - -

You were midway through reviewing a batch of footage when your phone buzzed on the desk beside you. Glancing around to make sure no one was looking, you opened the notification.

You blinked, rereading the message. Dinner? At the dorm? The idea made your pulse quicken. You hesitated for a moment, fingers hovering over the keyboard.

- - -

You smiled, the excitement bubbling beneath your nerves.

By the time you arrived at the dorm, the sun had started to set, casting a warm, orange glow over the city.

Seungmin greeted you at the door, his usual sarcastic grin firmly in place.

"Perfect timing," he said, stepping aside to let you in. "You get to help me not burn the kitchen down."

You had raised an eyebrow, slipping off your shoes. "So, you don't actually know how to cook? Thought it was just an act for lives."

"I know enough," he replied, leading you to the kitchen. "Besides, cooking's more fun with company."

You two had worked side by side, chopping vegetables and debating over how much seasoning was too little and too much.

Seungmin's confidence in the kitchen quickly wavered as he overcooked the rice, but his commentary kept you laughing the whole time.

"You know," you teased, stirring the pan of chicken, "for someone who claims to be talented, you're not doing much."

"I'm supervising," he shot back, leaning against the counter with a smirk. "And you're doing great."

"Uh-huh," you replied, rolling your eyes but smiling anyway.

The meal finally came off all right, considering the hiccups throughout the operation.

You sat opposite each other at the small table in the kitchen.

The simple dinner felt weirdly more special than any nice restaurant could have managed to make it.

The conversation, as you ate, moved from light banter to something a bit more personal.

"Do you always make time for things like this?" you asked, nodding toward the table.

Seungmin shook his head, his expression softening. "Not really. Life moves too fast most of the time. But… I guess I'm trying to make more time for things that matter."

The weight of his words hung in the air as they swelled your heart.

"I'm glad you did," you said in a hushed tone.

He looked into your eyes, for once not smirking but something softer. "Me too."

The silence between you was a comfortable one, the type that didn't need to be filled.

The sound of the opening front door shattered that silence, and Seungmin slumped. "Of course."

Before you could ask, Han's voice boomed from the hallway. "Seungmin! Did you make enough for us, or is this a private dinner?"

Seungmin groaned, muttering, "Why are they like this?"

Felix poked his head into the room, grinning when he saw you. "Oh, hi, Y/N!"

Han followed, smirking. "See, I told you she'd show up again."

Seungmin stood, blocking their view of you. "Don't you guys have somewhere else to be?"

"Nope, we already dropped Chan off," Han replied cheerfully. "But don't mind us. We'll leave you two lovebirds alone…for now."

Seungmin shot you an apologetic look as they retreated to Felix's room, still laughing.

As the evening wore on, Seungmin walked you to the door, his hands tucked into his pockets.

"Sorry about them," he said, his voice low. "They don't know when to stop."

You smiled, brushing it off. "It's fine. They're funny."

The tension that lay between you both swelled in the silence; for what felt like an eternity, neither of you spoke, finally, Seungmin leaned closer, his look all hesitant and hopeful "Thanks for coming tonight. I know it wasn't exactly Michelin-star dinner, but-"

"It was perfect," you manage, soft.

His lips fold into a small smile. You lean in before any more rational thoughts can interfere with your actions and press a soft, delicate kiss to his lips.

It was quick but enough to render both of you a little breathless.

Seungmin blinked, frozen for a moment before a soft laugh escaped him.

"You really like catching me off guard, don't you?"

"Maybe," you said, smiling as you stepped back.

"Wish I could drive you back." He softly says, looking into your eyes.

"Can't risk us getting caught can we?Goodnight, Seungmin." You replied.

"Goodnight," he said, his voice warm.

I hate this :3

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