#baldposting

[baldswagsummit2023]

CONGRATULATIONS TO OUR NUMBER ONE BALDIE OF ALL TIME, WITH OVER 9,000 VOTES IN HIS FAVOR...

BENJAMIN SISKO!!!!!

thank you bald nation for the best finals round ever!!! congrats trekkies and rest in peace sweet tf2 lovers. ❤️

[mildew-dread-mold]

REASONS TO VOTE RONAN AND NOT AANG FOR BALDSWAGSUMMIT

they may be both bald by choice, but ronan would have had dark luscious thick curls, can grow stubble overnight, and has to shave everyday (or enough that it is an explicit part of his daily schedule). not only is ronan bald by choice, he puts much more effort into being bald by choice than aang’s prepubescent, mostly hairless ass.

aang isn’t even bald all the time. at one point he is unconscious for a while and then goes undercover with hair, which spans at least half a season (i think?). ronan on the other hand was also in a coma for a good chunk of time but had not grown enough hair to be mentioned. ronan spends more time in his franchise bald than aang does.

in addition to this, when aang is in his dreams he has hair. ronan is bald in his dreams as well. who’s the ultimate bald now?

aang is bald because of what? his culture? which is cool and all but ronan is bald because when he has hair he reminds himself (and others) too much of his father whom he found dead in his family driveway when he was 15. ronan has a better bald-backstory. his baldness stems from a unique and heartbreaking place. aang is literally just a magic monk.

my friend tried to make the point that aang has a cool magic tattoo (which doesn’t have to do with baldness but does perhaps have to do with swag?) and i’d like us all to notice that ronan has not one but TWO tattoos, one of which was gotten to spite his older brother (swagful) and the other of which is a religious metaphor for dragging himself out of eden and rejecting paradise for mankind, and also is magical and keeps him from falling into a coma again (doubly swagful).

maggie stiefvater frequently uses the word “skull” instead of “head” when talking about ronan’s head because he is bald. which weirdly is a really nice synonym for “head” if you ask me. swagful AND bald. baldswagful. which is what the poll is for. aang may be from a cartoon and thus have no written description but you couldn’t call aang’s head a skull. that sounds wrong.

ronan gets bitches. like an overwhelming amount. adam gansey orla kavinsky. aang has gotten one singular bitch.

aang is 112 years old but ronan is a god so he’s been being since the start of time or whatever.

ronan is also an eldritch horror. nothing much more swagful than that. especially not some element bending pacifist kid.

if ronan loses his friends family enemies and everyone would bully him mercilessly. he would genuinely be devastated. adam would be like “sorry i don’t date bald men ranked below top 5” and blue would say “i could get an undercut and keep half of my hair and still beat your ass.” he would actually never recover mentally physically or financially. aang on the other hand would be perfectly fine. his friends would be like “it’s ok aang we still love your bald self” except for toph but aang wouldn’t care.

(if you don’t want to read all that i’ve bolded and italicized the key points.)

for all of the above reasons and more you should

Vote Ronan Lynch

for baldswagsummit2023. he is balder and more swagful than aang could ever dream to be.

[captain-price-unofficially]

@mr-up-on-a-downer

[the-cryptographer]

the pros of using Anders is that Anders has a history of vanity and connecting his physical appearance to his self-worth and tbh maintaining the appearance of youth and health probably was pretty important for him when he was on the run and supporting himself via sex work. so you could def get a lot of emotional mileage out of Anders feeling like the last of his good looks are slipping away.

the pros of using Hawke is you can def directly tie in Hawke's feelings about being a balding old wash-up with their failure at the end of da2 to prevent Kirkwall's social collapse. which could be kinda funny since Fenris also def blames Hawke for TLS (thinks Hawke should have stopped hanging out with Anders earlier and not helped the mages fight off the templars) but caring about what happened in TLS is #600 down on Fenris's priority list, and #1 on his priority list is how to get Hawke in Tevinter chic for horny reasons, but also he would rather die than admit it out loud. so there's a lot of comedy potential in Hawke repeatedly apologising for having failed Kirkwall but also not knowing how they could have been okay with anything else and meanwhile Fenris is unable to sincerely forgive Hawke but also trying to subtly direct the conversation to his boner because your guilt is extremely boring.

[medicthecooldoctor]

i love engineer’s lack of hair and eyebrows in this photo 😍

[anti-workshop]

I dreamed I had hair again last night. It was like, super long. I could grab it and pull it back easily into a pony tail. It was wild. I was so sad when I woke up.

Gotta get better at killing the anti-bald cop in my brain. Bald is ok. It's neutral. Hair is neutral. My body just did this, I didn't have a choice.

[reversecentaur]

i made my drow solely to romance minthara but because i slept with astarion once in act 1 before i even met her, she wants nothing to do with me romantically so that’s fuckin annoying

girl i sacrificed everything for you!!! act 1 takes 17 years!!! i don’t wanna do that shit again!!!!!

[byteofsoup]

TOOK A SHOWER MY HEAD IS SOFT AGAIN

[nonbinary-arsonists]

BALD

[baldswagsummit2023]

BALD SWAG SUMMIT 2 ROUND 3 STARTS NOW!

[fullscoreshenanigans]

Isabella when you remind her she's genocides

[shinceltyblewup]

Wyll is so sweetie cutieful honeypie fuck the entire world

[the-cryptographer]

@iskariotrising fenris steals one of anders' wanted posters that someone's like, crudely doodled a mustache onto and is like "no, look, see, it would look good with your facial structure" meanwhile anders is alternating between melting down because the picture is ugly and melting down because the picture looks better than him

I kept trying to think of something to add to this but I don't think I can. The image is just too perfect as is. Thanks endlessly for this contribution to the baldposting <3

[jeffament]

for the belated valentine in your life

[bedcorpse]

franks selling guitars to distract us from gerard being bald

[reversecentaur]

i just saw a tiktok of someone’s thick cambion tav and i hate playing on ps5