#balatro the pillar

[dat-is-i]

what if the pillar from balatro was just a silly guy

[draculancer-flow]

Using SISYPHUS to get the perfect Balatro run, shoving a straight flush up the Psychic's asshole. As some someone who regularly has carnal relations with eidolons, the boss fights in this game are basically foreplay. Skipping the whole ante just to rush into the Pillar's Pillarussy. Getting to Ante 29 cause this shit ain't nothing to me, man.

(Inspired by this S-tier Balatro review I saw)

[kay-kay-is-kray-kray]

Been playing Balatro a lot but if the boys were the Boss Blinds:

Heartslabyul:

Ace: The Head. All Heart cards are debuffed.

Deuce: The Goad. All Spade cards are debuffed.

Cater: The Window. All Diamond cards are debuffed.

Trey: The Club. All Club cards are debuffed.

Riddle: Crimson Heart. One of your jokers is disabled on every hand.

Savanaclaw

Jack: The Pillar: Cards played previously this ante are debuffed.

Ruggie: The Psychic: Hands must have five cards.

Leona: Amber Acorn: Flips and shuffles all Joker cards.

Octavinelle:

Jade: The Ox Playing your most played hand will set money to $0.

Floyd: The Fish: The cards drawn after you play a hand are drawn face-down.

Azul: Verdant Leaf: All cards debuffed until 1 Joker sold. (Azul would also get The Tooth NGL which is lose $1 for each card played)

Scarabia

Jamil: The Serpent: After playing a hand or discarding cards, you always draw 3 more cards.

Kalim: The plant: All face cards are debuffed.

Pomefiore

Epel: The Water: Start the round with no discards.

Rook: The Manacle -1 hand size for this round.

Vil: Cerulean Bell. Forces 1 card to always be selected.

Ignihyde:

Ortho: The Flint: The base chips and Mult for playing a poker hand are halved this round.

Idia: The Arm: Decrease the level of Hand you play by 1.

Diasomia

Sebek: The Needle: Play only one, single hand

Silver: The Wheel: 1 in 7 cards are drawn face-down throughout the round.

Lilia: The Wall. Extra large blind

Malleus: Violet Vessel. Very large blind.

[shrapnelstars]

I beat the Medusa Balatro challenge on my first try.

I had 2 copies of Abstract Joker (one was polychromed), the Driver's License Joker, and the Constellation Joker, and thankfully there were at least one Planet card or pack in every single shop for that run.

Would that all my runs could be this cooperative.

Marble Joker is swiftly becoming one of my all time favorites. I slept on Stone cards for the longest time until I started focusing on the Plasma deck, where chips are EXTREMELY powerful.

I had started falling in love with Blue Joker there, then fell in love with the Heirophant Tarot in addition, fell in love with Foil editions, watched a video that made me fall in love with the Bull Joker, then I realized that Stone cards are like having unrestricted Foil editions, but you get to put an extra edition and stamp on top of them, and they can only be debuffed by The Pillar boss.

My biggest problem, however, is that the Stone Joker absolutely REFUSES to spawn in the shops for me, ever. I know you need to have some Stone cards already for it to even begin showing up. My problem is that it never shows up anymore. I've picked it once, back when I originally unlocked it, but I've basically never seen it again.

Uncommons in general hate to show up in my runs unless I force them with a tag. I get Commons and Rares without issue. It's so frigging weird. The Uncommon class has most of the really useful Jokers in it.