#baepop sacrifice | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

baepop · 4 years ago

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Sacrifice 2

You return home, hoping to find the answers you desperately search for.

Word Count: 9.7k

Pairing: You x BTS Members

Genre: Thriller, Smut, Angst

Warnings: OC is fucked in the head basically (disturbing thoughts, actions); gore, graphic descriptions and self-harm

Part 1 | Part 2

He’s trying his hardest, but those pesky crimson marks just won’t come out. He’s tried everything he could think of, even followed a few stain removal tutorials on YouTube, but the unsightly blood stains have seeped deep into the fabric of his upholstery. He regrets neglecting the condition of the interior of his car for so long.

Even still, as he looks down at his soiled car seat, he can’t help but smile while imagining the satisfaction you might’ve felt to know he couldn’t completely erase you from his life. You had always managed to find a way to cling onto him, it seems, even now in the afterlife.

Namjoon carefully backed away from the entrance of the passenger side of his car to take a breather. He wiped the sweat off his brow and rubbed his hand on his shorts, huffing at the sight of his failure. He pursed his lips, mulling over what cleaning agents he might have left in his terribly stocked apartment that could do the trick. Suddenly, he slammed his fist on the hood of the car, overcome with emotions of regret. He allowed himself to feel for just a minute before taking a deep breath and hunching over the seat again to begin scrubbing more forcefully.

But just as he began abusing the seat once more, a tiny hand clutched at the tail of his sweater and yanked lightly a few times to get his attention. He whipped his head around only to find the neighbor’s daughter staring up at him, a bit of fear in her eyes. She was only 5, and she must’ve seen Namjoon lose his cool for a second just now, given the slight quiver in her bottom lip.

Namjoon stared at the child for a moment before backing out of the car again and picking her up. He nestled her into his side, giving her a big smile and wiggling her hand about while greeting her in a silly voice. She giggled shyly, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck.

“Mommy said to come get you.” She stated her mission matter-of-factly before burying her head in the crook of his neck as she’d done countless times before.

“Okay, then let’s go see what Mommy needs this time, shall we?” The little girl nodded as they crossed the lawn into her mother’s property. Namjoon knocked a few times before letting himself into the door ajar. The smell of overcooked chicken filled his nostrils at once.

“Um, hello?” He called out to no one in particular. He was greeted by an empty living room.

“In here!” The voice came from the kitchen where his neighbor was busy preparing an early dinner. Namjoon put the little girl down but she grabbed two of his fingers and led him into the kitchen.

“Oh, hi ma’am. Did you need something?”

The woman rolled her eyes as she blew on a piece of steaming chicken before popping it into her mouth to taste. “How many times do I have to tell you to call me Yong?! Ma’am is my mother.” Namjoon blushed and hung his head in embarrassment, smiling at the ground and nodding. “You know, we’re not that different in age, only a few years apart. But I get it though, turning 30 still seems like a huge change to people in their 20’s.”

“Oh, I uh, no that’s not— I’m sorry, Yong.” Namjoon clears his throat while the older woman chuckled.

“I hope you weren’t busy, Namjoon.”

“No, no not at all!”

“It’s just that my bathroom sink is leaking, and I have no idea what’s going on! My husband won’t be home for a couple more days and—”

“Oh, it’s no issue! I’ll take a look at it, probably just a simple fix.” Namjoon smiled at her brightly and motioned towards the bathroom for permission. She beamed as he let himself further into her house.

Namjoon entered her small bathroom, immediately turning on the sink to see what the issue was. As the water trickled from the base, he opened the bottom cabinets and crouched down, sticking his head into the confined space to get a better look. He ran his fingers over the tubing, nodding to himself as he turned off the water and joined Yong and her child in the kitchen once again.

“There’s hardly a problem. Your plumbers’ putty ran dry, and it was especially thin to begin with, but it’s nothing more putty won’t fix! I actually have some to spare in my apartment, I’ll go grab it really quick.”

“No no no, sit! Dinner’s ready, you can do that after!” Namjoon parted his lips to protest but his stomach growled extra loudly. The small child giggled, pulling on his fingers to lead him to his place set at the dinner table.

Although Namjoon wanted to be polite and refuse the meal, the truth was that he wasn’t eating too well these days. You had always been over his house making him food, so his meals as of late consisted of microwaved noodles and handfuls of goldfish crackers.

Namjoon thanked the woman for the hot meal, wasting no time on stuffing his face.

“No, thank you. You’ve been such a big help around here for so long! It’s been rough this year with my husband’s enlistment,” Namjoon nodded along, making eye contact as he shoved spoonfuls of rice into his already full mouth, “and especially so this past month.”

Namjoon perked up at the ambiguous statement, “How so?”

“Well—”

“I’m getting a littwe bwother!” The small child exclaimed joyously from across the dinner table. Namjoon froze with his unchewed food on display, looking over at Yong who was embarrassed by the outburst.

“Well, it’s still too early to know the sex but, she’s really hoping for a boy.” The woman smiled at her daughter who was picking up pieces of food with her tiny fingers and attempting to feed it to her stuffed animal who also had a place at the dinner table beside her. Yong looked over at Namjoon who had not taken his eyes off her once, nor closed his mouth for that matter. She blushed, looking down and speaking in a low tone so that her child wouldn’t understand, “Don’t worry, it’s not yours.”

Namjoon’s eyes lacked emotion. What she mistook for fear and anger was simply calculation on his part. “Are you positive?”

The woman sighed then smiled again, putting a hand on his shoulder and maintaining eye contact. “Yes, I’m sure. Now, finish your dinner.”

The boy nodded, bringing his attention back to his now unappetizing plate of food. He had already done the math; the child was definitely his.

The conversation lulled, so they both hurried through eating. Once his plate was empty enough, Namjoon sprang up to his feet and announced that he’d return with some putty in just a moment.

As he let himself out into the evening air, he noticed it was finally starting to become cooler. He walked across the lawn and over to his place with his hands in his pockets, whistling his favorite tune.

The next day, he went to work as normal, driving his car across town to the grocery store he managed and parking it in a residential street since the parking lot looked full when he passed by. On his trek up the block, he noticed a bright white flier stapled to the telephone pole at the corner. As he got closer, he recognized a picture of Jin plastered front and center with the words reward if found written underneath it. Seokjin came from money, so Namjoon wasn’t surprised about the lengths his parents were going to to get their son back. Besides, he already knew they would do this since he’s the one that sent them that picture of Jin.

Namjoon ripped the flier that had threatened to bring forth his turbulent emotions to the surface once more from its staples, crumpling it up and shoving it into his pocket. Luckily, this wasn’t enough to ruin his good mood today.

“Good morning.” Namjoon nodded towards his staff members as he entered into the cool facility. Everyone greeted him back, relieved to have him in the building as there were already issues that needed solving even this early in the morning. But before they could begin hounding him for directions, one of his assistant managers pulled him to the side.

“Someone’s here to see you. I told them you wouldn’t be in until later on today, but they insisted on waiting. They’re in your office, I hope that’s okay.” Namjoon smiled at the girl and assured her everything was fine. He watched her walk away before turning down the hallway towards his office. As soon as he opened the door, a very worried Jungkook shot up from the small couch that lined the wall. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his eyes were panicked. He gripped the flyer of Seokjin in one hand and his phone in the other.

Now this, this was enough to put Namjoon in a bad mood. He sighed and closed the door behind him.

Your eyes opened and were immediately flooded with bright white light from all directions. You shut them quickly, then reopened them little by little, trying to adjust to the setting. The first thing you noticed were curtains billowing at the foot of your bed. They were white, just like everything else in the room.

Wait, a bed?

You craned your neck to get a better look at what you were laying on, but your body was stiff, so you plopped back down and took a deep breath, letting your eyes wander instead.

The sun was shining brightly and illuminating the dreary room you’d been left in. You were definitely in a hospital, you realized, as you noticed multiple beds with curtains drawn around them.

Why am I here?

You laid there, trying to remember something, anything, but you only drew incomplete memories. You closed your eyes, trying to make sense of everything. It was all a painful haze, reels of jumping into a river, and blinding car lights at the forefront. Suddenly you recalled being shaken and yelled at, the voice sounding as if through a tunnel full of water, and the face more ambiguous still. But his grip was strong on you, bruising your shoulders with his vehemence to get you to understand.

Get it together kid!

You gasp as your eyes burst open. “Jin!” You yell out and a nurse who was most definitely not Jin rushed in.

“Ah, you’re awake!” The older woman came to your side to check how you were doing. She doesn’t know anyone by the name of Jin, much to your disappointment. “Do you remember anything about what happened to you?” She pulled up a chair by your bed with your chart in her hands. You shake your head in denial. It’s not a lie, but the little that you do remember, you want to hold onto for a bit longer in order to piece together this puzzle on your own. “What’s your name?” You hesitated, then shook your head once more. She nodded in understanding, flipping a page up before turning back to you and speaking in a soothing tone. “Miss, you were found on the side of the road a couple miles from here in critical condition. You underwent a septic miscarriage, but your body showed signs of extreme stress and battery as well. It appears you were unconscious for a couple of days before you were found and, luckily, we were able to bring your fever down and get your blood pressure back to a normal state which halted the beginnings of organ failure evident in your body.” You nodded along to everything she said, but none of it was making any sense. You just couldn’t believe she was talking about you. She had to have been looking at someone else’s chart. “You’ve been administered antibiotics to treat the infection. I have to say, though, you’re one hell of a fighter! We weren’t sure you’d wake up after the medically induced coma you were under, but here you are!” The woman smiled brightly then paused before continuing, giving you a stern look. “You were in pretty bad condition hun. So,” she reached out and placed her withered hand over your own, “the minute you remember anything, you let us know. Okay?” You nodded sullenly, just wanting to be left alone. “Now…this Jin person…”

“He wouldn’t.” You looked at her sharply, not letting her even think that he could be capable of doing something like this to you. The woman nodded and stood up.

“I’ll give you a minute to be alone.”

You watched her retreat back into the hustle and bustle of the hospital hallway as you plopped your head against the pillow. Considering the kinds of questions she was asking you and the kind of room you had woken up in, you surmised that you had been counted as another Jane Doe, placed into a room full of other unidentified people who had been dying.

Whenever you went out, you always made sure to have your ID and your phone on you, so you wondered if you had been robbed and attacked. But why was I alone and so far from home? Suddenly the face of the person you missed most popped into your head.

Namjoon.

The thought of something so awful happening to you without the love of your life by your side to comfort you was too much to bear.

You rolled over on your side and let hot tears spill from the corners of your eyes, moistening the crisp linen sheets. As the evening went on, your silent crying became more audible, your body shaking with both physical and emotional pain. You hugged yourself tightly, processing the realization that you had lost Namjoon’s baby, and you were now all alone again.

By the time night came, you had rolled over to cry while staring up at the ceiling, letting your sobs be heard now that the hospital was quiet. It always felt better to let loose while crying instead of doing it in secret, besides, everyone in your room was in a coma anyway, or so you thought.

In the middle of the night, you heard a groaning that morphed into a cry of frustration. Suddenly the curtains around the bed diagonal from yours were yanked open violently and piercing angry eyes drilled holes into your watery ones.

“I stayed quiet all day, pretending not to be awake so that you could have some privacy, but now you’ve been crying for 8 fucking hours and I’m trying to sleep. So could you please, for the love of Christ—”

“JIN!” You bolted upright then winced, mildly regretting your excitement for a second. The boy paused, furrowing his eyebrows as he watched you carefully climb out of bed and slowly hobble over to him in your billowing night gown.

Once you got to his bedside, your eyes watered again seeing him all bandaged up and staring up at you dumbfoundedly.

“What the hell happened to us…” You began crying again, leaning into him for a hug and sobbing on his chest. He groaned again, rolling his eyes and patting your back.

“Listen lady, I don’t know why you keep calling me Jin but—” You froze, backing off of him and wiping your eyes as you realized the bandages around his head must’ve been more severe than you thought.

You limped over to the foot of his bed and picked up his medical chart, reading over it quickly. You winced at the extensive list of procedures they had to operate on him once he was found. But thankfully, it was still possible for him to regain his memory one day.

Days, upwards of a year with daily physical therapy. You read the words before closing his chart with a sigh, looking back over at your friend who was regarding you warily. You couldn’t help but feel like this was all somehow his fault. Still, even if it was, you wouldn’t know for sure since neither of you remembered what happened.

“Um, that’s… I don’t think you’re supposed to look at other people’s charts…” You smiled and retook your place by his side.

“It’s okay for me to look.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because I’m your fiancé!” The boy cocked his head back, stunned into silence. He gave you a once over with his eyes, lifting up your left hand for inspection.

“Oh yeah? Then where’s the engagement ring?”

You pulled your hand out of his grasp. “You proposed without one…because we decided we’d go buy one together.”

Jin scoffed, “Yeah well, proposing without a ring doesn’t sound like something I’d do.”

You rolled your eyes. Yeah well, proposing isn’t something you’d ever do either.

“Okay fine, I’ll prove it by telling you something only your fiancé would know.” Jin sat up, watching you curiously as you sat pensive at the edge of his bed.

“Your dick hangs a little bit to the right when it’s hard.” Jin smiled, scratching his cheek in embarrassment.

“Well, I mean…technically, a lot of girls would know that.” You rolled your eyes again, trying to think about something intimate he might’ve shared with you during your years of friendship.

“You started smoking cigarettes when you were 12 because that’s when your dad left, and the smell of smoke always made you feel close to him.” Jin dropped his hand as he looked at you with renewed curiosity. He didn’t remember saying that to anyone ever, probably because he was piss drunk when he said it to you during one of your many smoke breaks together, or because he’d lost his memory. Still, he couldn’t deny that you must’ve been someone important to him if you knew something like that about him.

“So…you’re…my fiancé?” You nodded, taking his hand and rubbing circles onto his knuckles for added effect. You watched him as he visibly processed the news. You weren’t sure what the last thing he remembered was, but it had to be from years ago since he didn’t even know who you were. “Then…what exactly happened? I heard the nurse say something about a miscarriage…”

You nodded at Jin sullenly, clutching at your abdomen as your head hung low. Tears welled in your eyes, but you quickly dabbed at any that fell. “I’m sorry.”

Jin was stricken with sadness. He didn’t feel connected to you or the situation, but the thought of him and you losing a baby, he could understand to be awful. He made space for you on his bed and pulled you onto him, hesitantly rubbing your head as you curled into his side. You two slept together side by side for the night, but you awoke at the crashing sound of thunder and lightning close by only a few hours later.

Your eyes burst open at the sound, immediately checking to see if Jin was awake too. The room was still dark even though it was very early in the morning. The rain clouds blocked much light from coming into the room as it was.

You searched Jin’s face, but he still laid peacefully asleep, so you laid back down and nestled into his side. It’d been forever since you’d cuddled someone, or even made love to anyone. Knowing there wasn’t much fabric standing in the way of your naked bodies wasn’t helping the dull ache in between your legs.

You rubbed your thighs together, letting your eyes trail his features. You’d always thought Jin was attractive, but anytime his mouth would open the illusion would crumble.

But now that his memory was gone, he was different, nice even.

You brought your hand up to his chest, hesitating before placing your palm gently over his heart. You felt it beating strong and steadily.

Your hand trailed downwards, ever so lightly over the fabric of his medical gown. You ran your fingertips over the expanse of his abs, making your way towards his pubic area until his hand clamped around your wrist, halting it from moving further down. Your heart stopped for a second, since you had been sure he was unconscious.

Suddenly you heard his groggy morning voice speaking deeply just above your head.

“Don’t start something you’re not going to be able to finish.” You looked up at Seokjin who was suddenly wide awake and regarding you curiously, a challenging glint in his eyes.

“Since you lost your memory, allow me to remind you how I always finish.” You challenged him back, smiling when he let go of your hand. You cupped his member, squeezing just a bit to earn a hiss from the handsome brunette.

It was just early enough so that the medical staff wouldn’t barge in and bother you just yet, so you decided not to waste any time. You quickly exposed his bottom half, licking your lips at the sight of the hard on that already awaited you. But as you lowered your head onto his length, you noticed all of the bruises that littered his body, and the bandages wrapped around his torso. You frowned, looking up at him with pity in your eyes.

“Jin…” You sat up fully, remembering the list of injuries from his medical chart.

He sighed and met your eyes, “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“No, I do. I’ll be gentle, just let me know if anything hurts, okay?” He nodded, watching you as you climbed over his midsection and nestled your legs on either side of him.

You sat on his dick gingerly, your lack of clothing under your gown earning you direct skin to skin contact. You supported most of your weight but applied enough pressure to tease him in between your folds. He hissed as you looked up, wondering if you had hurt him already, but seeing his lustful eyes trained on your core told you otherwise. You swirled your hips sensually, moving the head of his dick vertically in between your legs to get it wet with your arousal. It wasn’t long before he was moving his hips to the rhythm of yours, eager to enter you already.

You obliged, sighing contentedly as you held his dick up to your entrance and sank down onto him until he bottomed out. Jin crinkled his eyes shut focusing on the feeling of you around him. He struggled to keep his breath even, not wanting to alert the staff about what was going on, but god damn you felt so good that it was proving difficult already.

You noticed how fucked out he was already and knew he wouldn’t last long at all, which was perfect for you because you were really only looking for one thing.

You began swaying your hips carefully, testing the waters to see what was enjoyable for him and what was painful. Soon you were bouncing on him up and down, determined to get him to cum. Jin gave up on being quiet, letting himself moan and grunt the more you humped him. Your hand held up the fabric of your gown above your belly, letting him get a full view of you fucking him. You smirked, thinking about how mad Jin will be when he regains his memory only to realize you finally gave him a round two, but only when he had amnesia.

Suddenly, the boy took hold of your hips and held them still, a burning look in his eyes.

“Did I hurt you? I’m sorr—”

“No, just. Stop, for a second. You’re…going to be my wife. But this feels like our first time for me so, I don’t want to rush through it.” Your heart stuttered and a lump formed in your throat, not that you wanted to say anything anyway. You’d never seen him so vulnerable and tender before. Suddenly you felt guilty for lying to him, but nonetheless you let him pull you into his chest for a kiss.

It was sweet and slow. You hesitated at first, letting him part your lips and press them into yours. You closed your eyes, your heart thrumming a mile a minute as you kissed him back. He held you by the waist as his fingers rubbed at your sides. They snuck underneath your gown and began exploring your body, first feeling the curves of your waist then sliding up towards your breasts. You looked away from him, blushing furiously as his tiny touches sent shivers down your spine. To be this intimate and romantic with Seokjin was proving to be too much for you. Yet as his hands traveled around your back and downwards, giving your ass a healthy squeeze, your walls couldn’t help closing in around him. He moaned at the motion, looking up at you in time to receive your hungry lips on his once more. He brought his hands up to your face, holding it close to his own as you two made out passionately.

Your mind raced as your tongues swirled around in each other’s mouths. Kissing him felt foreign, but in a good way. Although you already knew what his dick felt like inside of you, you’d never known what his mouth on yours felt like until now. It was weird to think about who exactly was kissing you, yet not too weird, since you’d been around each other for so long now that his scent filling your nostrils was comforting instead of revolting. It was like learning something you had forgotten about. You were surprised to find how much you had actually liked it.

It wasn’t long before Jin began groaning into the kiss, feeling how wet you suddenly were and how easily he was moving inside of you without fully moving his hips. You bit your lip, feeling needier than ever with the lack of movement.

Suddenly you sat up a bit to begin bouncing again, but he grabbed you by the neck, biting his own lip as he surveyed your body. You were driving him absolutely wild and we wanted nothing more than to fuck you into the bed. But he knew he couldn’t move much for now, so he settled for fucking up into you as best he could.

Jin’s hand moved into your hair, grabbing it like a ponytail and tugging on it roughly so that more of your neck was exposed. His other hand gripped at your waist, holding you up as he began bucking his hips up into you. The combination of his tight hold on your hair and his forceful thrusts had you feeling the beginnings of an orgasm.

Your hands found his arms and held on for dear life as your walls began contracting around his cock. Sinful sounds filled the room as you lost your ability to keep quiet. His impressive length was hitting your g spot in the most delicious way and it had you keeling over him when your orgasm hit like a ton of bricks. You tightened your legs on his sides, shutting your eyes yet still seeing stars. Jin was satisfied with seeing you cum since he was already so tired that he couldn’t hold back his own climax for much longer.

“Fuck, where should I cum?” Jin spoke through gritted teeth, letting go of your hair in favor of holding your waist with both hands.

You leaned over him and kissed him deeply, then leaned in further to whisper in his ear. “Cum inside.”

Jin’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and your wish was his command. He found it so incredibly hot that he was already spilling his seed into you after a few more strokes. He grunted loudly, bucking up into you a few more times before settling down in a sweat. You sat on top of him for a few moments more, catching your breaths in unison.

The boy was spent, barely having enough energy to cover himself back up. He ended up drifting to sleep when you climbed off of him, which was better for you, since you didn’t want to have to pretend to be in love with him.

You hummed as you slowly made your way over to your bed, fetching a magazine before you climbed onto the mattress and laid down on your back. You propped your feet up on the windowsill and began flipping through the glossy decorated pages, imagining that this position would definitely increase your odds of getting pregnant.

It wasn’t until the chill of October had set in that you found yourself in your hometown again.

You had missed Namjoon terribly while you were away recovering that visiting his house was the very first thing you wanted to do. You needed to see him desperately, to see if he missed you as much as you did him, and to see if he was worried sick that you had been missing for months. You’d never gotten a chance to tell him about the baby, so you were hoping he’d have a positive reaction when he saw you now. You knew he’d always wanted to be a dad, and you wanted to be the one to give him that joy, no matter what.

You walked the few blocks from your house to his, taking in the neighborhood as you did so. Even with the drastic change in temperature since you were last here, it was as if nothing had changed. Yet you couldn’t help but feel wholly changed on the inside. You’d realized just how precious life was while you laid in that hospital bed, and you didn’t want to waste another minute not being with the man you had pined over for years.

As his house came into view, you instantly knew he wasn’t home. His car wasn’t in the driveway and his lights were off. Nonetheless you knocked on the front door, waiting a few minutes before descending his front porch in disappointment. You wondered if he was at work, though you didn’t think so given the time and the day.

As you pondered on where to go next, a small red ball bounced against your foot. You bent down to pick it up, only to make eye contact with a small girl that had come running up to you. She had gorgeous tan skin and dimples with sparkling curious eyes.

“Sowwy…”

You smiled at the shy toddler, placing the ball into her tiny outstretched hands. “What’s your name?”

“My mommy says not to tawk to stwangers.”

Just then, a smiling blonde woman comes into view, rubbing the head of the toddler who hugged her leg and shielded her body from you. You looked up at her questioning eyes.

“Sorry! I always tell her not to play with her ball so close to the sidewalk!” You giggle, shaking your head to let her know the girl wasn’t bothering you. You can’t help but rake in her figure, lingering on her mid-section.

“How far along are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Ah,” the woman rubs her belly absentmindedly, “just 3 months! It’s been so hectic, nothing like the easy pregnancy I had with this little one.” She pinched the cheek of her daughter, and you don’t miss the way the girl’s almond eyes turn into crescent moons when she smiles at the comment she undoubtedly doesn’t understand.

“No kidding, I’m actually 5 months along myself!” The woman’s eyebrows shoot up.

“Oh, congratulations! How are you liking it so far?”

“It’s not my first, but I absolutely love it. I feel like I’m glowing from the inside out.” The woman smiled, trying to contain her surprise given how young you looked. She followed your eyes as you glanced at Namjoon’s house for a second before turning back to her.

“Oh, you were looking for Namjoon? I think he went out to buy some supplies. Are you a friend of his or…” You furrowed your brow, a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach forming as you observed the slightly possessive tone in her voice. “I just, always used to see you around here, so I was wondering…”

You smiled brightly at the woman, watching her follow your hand on your stomach with her eyes. “Oh, it’s okay! He’s my boyfriend, but he’ll probably be a lot more than that now…” You smiled to yourself, looking down at your feet with satisfaction.

“Of course…” Yong tried her best to sound nonchalant, but you caught the way her voice sounded dejected, and she was suddenly looking everywhere else but at you. You looked down at her daughter, feeling a small seed of annoyance growing inside you.

“What’s your name, again?”

“Yongsun.”

“Yongsun,” You let the name hang in the air while you turned it over in your head. It left a bad taste in your mouth, “if it’s not too much trouble, can I bother you for a glass of water? The walk over here tired me out.” You both laughed half-heartedly, neither of you caring to feign friendship for much longer.

“Sure. C’mon, let’s get the nice lady something to drink!” Yong lifted her daughter onto her hip and began walking towards her home. You followed closely behind, hoping to find the answers you needed without having to engage in any more nauseating small talk.

You took in her quaint home with children’s toys strewn all about. The child ran to her play pen while the woman busied herself with finding a clean glass, leaving you with enough privacy to ogle at the pictures hanging on the wall.

You looked at a few of Yong and her daughter at the park before stopping at a family portrait that seemed to have been taken when the woman’s daughter was only a few months old. The man holding her, whom you presumed to be the woman’s husband, looked nothing like the kid.

Your mouth twisted in disgust, and you stomped out of her house before she could come back and shove her triumph over Namjoon in your face some more.

You hated her, and you hated him, and you hated their perfect little kid and their perfect little neighborly romance seeped in infidelity. You hated that you weren’t her, and you hated that he made you want to be someone other than yourself.

The annoyance you had felt when you had first laid eyes on the child had boiled into a violent rage that you couldn’t contain once you got home. You ran into your room and slammed the door, looking around for something to break. You started with the posters on the walls, tearing them down impatiently. The sounds of ripping paper made you feel better, but it still wasn’t enough, you needed more. Suddenly your hand flew across your dresser and knocked down all of your products. You shoved your lamp onto the floor too, panting and looking around wildly.

Your influx of emotions and memories brought on a headache that had you stumbling back onto your bed. You clutched at the sides of your face, balling your shaking fists as a haunting scene played inside your head like a movie. You saw her hair, flowing in the cold water, and her alabaster skin glowing in the dark. Her limbs were stiff, and her eyes were still open in the water, yet it seemed as if they still had enough life in them to stare at you accusingly. Her finger pointed in your direction as if to say you’re next.

Suddenly you saw yourself screaming silently, trekking up the side of the mountain in wet clothing, hiding in fear from your friends, walking aimlessly through the woods, trying to get home because you felt unsafe. You remembered desperately trying to put as much distance between yourself and them as possible because you needed you and your baby to live.

Now you hated them, too. They did this to you and Namjoon. They tried to drive a wedge in between you two. Maybe they were jealous. Maybe…

Maybe that’s why Namjoon was in love with someone who wasn’t you, because of them.

You punched your mattress repeatedly, feeling betrayed by the people you had called your friends for years. You tried to calm yourself down, knowing that negative emotions could negatively impact the fetus, but you suddenly felt anxious. You wanted to know why, why they would do something like this to you. You needed to see Namjoon. You needed to tell him everything and get answers from those bastards.

Suddenly, nearby giggling caught your attention for a brief moment. The sound came from outside your window. You lifted it up and peeked your head out only to find your block littered with costumed partygoers and children trick or treating.

You’d forgotten it was even a holiday today. Your favorite holiday, in fact, only because Hoseok would always throw great Halloween parties in which you’d all coordinate silly costumes.

You went into your closet and shoved hangers aside until you pulled out your old Snow White costume that would match the boys’ dwarves costumes. You tossed it aside, searching for your old go-to costume. After some rummaging in the very back, you pulled out the wrinkled black dress that you always used to wear every year. It was a nun costume, and it seemed oddly fitting for what you suddenly had planned for tonight.

You busied yourself with finding the mask that went along with it as well as a small blade you always kept handy, in case of emergencies.

The party was already out of hand by the time you arrived. More people than you’d ever seen at any of the boys’ parties were littered all throughout, crowding the hallways and even spilling out into the backyard. It was truly a sight to see, an army of goblins and ghouls and slutty princesses all congregated in a mundane family home.

You made your way through the crowds of people, shimmying and tip toeing along as you tried to spot anyone you recognized, which was already hard enough since everyone was in a costume.

But it didn’t take you long to spot the boys sitting around in the living room. Some had girls on their laps or beside them while others stood near them to listen to Yoongi’s story. They were all nursing almost-empty solo cups and their eyes were hazy with drunkenness. You shoved people aside and sat on the floor next to the man of the hour. He stopped to look at you for a second, no doubt measuring your suitability to be his next conquest for the night, before continuing his story.

You recognized his tall tale at once, because it was your story.

“So, I take my headphones out, to see if it was some creepy track playing on my phone, and the singing continues!” Nearly everyone in the room stared wide-eyed while Yoongi paused to sip on his drink. “It’s right in my ear, up close, and the woman starts crying, and I mean sobbing!”

“No fucken way! Oh my god that’s terrifying!” The young girl standing closest to Yoongi rubs the goosebumps on her arms. She’s dressed as a slutty crayon, as if you hadn’t already had enough reasons to roll your eyes into the back of your head.

You’re thankful that you’re wearing a mask, however, to hide the stabbing looks you’re sending at Yoongi and the rest of the boys who are pretending to be hearing this story for the very first time. You hated them, you hated them so much.

After everything you had went through with these guys, you had ended up being reduced to an ice breaker in the end.

Suddenly, you felt a hand on your leg. It’s a soft yet determined touch, and your body instantly tenses up. You’re convinced it’s Jin, because you’d experienced this kind of thing with him so many times before, but you know it isn’t him. Still, you can’t help the way your head whips around to see who could possibly be hitting on the girl in the nun costume.

Your eyes meet a pair of disoriented doe eyes, and you realize a very drunk Jungkook is hitting on you. He shoots you a lazy crooked smile as his hand rides up on your thigh a bit. You withhold the urge to punch him as you let him feel you up a bit. You didn’t want to reveal yourself just yet. No, you wanted to exact your revenge in a way that would scar the same way you now were thanks to them.

You placed your hand over Jungkook’s and stood up, taking him with you. Without saying a word, you led him into one of the empty bedrooms in Hoseok’s house, all the while his friends whooped and hollered at the sight of their youngest friend finally getting laid at a party.

You shoved him into a room and walked in, closing the door behind you. He stumbled backwards and plopped down onto the bed, leaning back and spreading his legs while he watched you. You want so badly to wipe the cocky grin he’s wearing right off his face.

You stalk over to him, quickly climbing up on his lap. His smile grows impossibly wider, and he’s giddied at the feeling of your hands on his chest pushing him down onto the bed. He seems different, cockier and more experienced, yet he’s still slightly nervous, you note, so you can tell the Jungkook you’ve always known is still inside this douchebag of a person somewhere. His heartbeat quickened as your hands slid lower on his body, and he searched for something to say to relieve some of the tension.

“So, you’re supposed to be, what, a nun?” The boy gulped as your hands found the bottom of your dress.

“No, actually, I’m a ghost.” Jungkook looked up at you questioningly, taking in your costume again to see if there was a detail he’d missed. You decided to help him out by taking your mask off.

His body stiffened under you and he grew pale as you sat on top of him, smiling at the way his lip quivered in fear.

You reached under your dress and pulled the blade from the spandex of your underwear, turning the sharp object over in your hand and observing it in the light of the room. Jungkook cussed under his breath as he began to hyperventilate slightly. You revel in his powerlessness, wanting him to feel the way you felt because of him, so you slowly press the blade against his throat, causing him to turn his gaze up at the ceiling while muttering shit shit shit as he did so.

“Where’s Namjoon?”

“I I I I I d-don’t know he—he never showed up. H-he might be a Y-yong’s house I I I don’t know.” Jungkook shut his eyes, making sure to keep still so that you didn’t accidentally nick his throat.

You grimace, not liking what he said one bit. The way her name slipped so casually from his mouth, they all knew about her and never said anything to you. You must’ve looked like such an idiot. They probably pitied you, probably made fun of you behind your back.

Your hand at the boy’s throat began shaking, and you didn’t miss the way his fists ball up at his sides. Suddenly you turned your attention to him completely, knowing now what you had to do.

The boy was shaking underneath you, so you hummed soothingly, running your hand over his chest. You admired his body, taking note of the way his muscles protruded from the fabric. He had definitely filled out and bulked up when you weren’t paying attention to him. And he’d had such a crush on you, it was a shame he’d turned into a monster on the inside.

Your hand slid down his arm and picked up his wrist, slicing at his veins vertically for a few inches. He cried out in pain as blood began spurting everywhere. He moaned in agony, clutching at his wet arm and trying desperately to keep the wound covered with his hand.

“Kookie! Where the fuck is the beer we told you to go get an hour ago?” Hoseok’s voice chirped behind you, so you turned your head in time to see the boy bursting into the bedroom unannounced. He’d taken one quick look at you and averted his eyes. “Shit, sorry, didn’t think you were actually in here with someone.” He chuckled, stealing a look in your direction, and then another, until his eyes widened, and his mouth fell open. His eyes first caught the blood stains on the bed then flew up to meet your eyes. His breath caught in his throat when he finally saw who had stolen the attention of his friend.

“Y/N…w-what are you doing?” He stepped fully into the room, coming towards you slowly.

“Well, I was in the neighborhood so, I thought I’d stop by.” You regarded him warily, gripping the blade tighter the closer he got.

As soon as the boy took a few more steps, he finally caught view of the massive wound, and his expression crumpled painfully. “Jesus Christ Y/N. What did you do?! W-Why did you do this?”

The boy tried to swipe the weapon from your hand, but you moved it out of his reach then climbed off of Jungkook and held the blade up in front of you. “Don’t you dare fucking touch me.”

“Okay, okay. Please, let’s just, talk.” His eyes were full of fear and concern, trained on you though they wandered towards Jungkook and the blade you were holding.

“Why should I talk to you? I have no reason to trust any of you. You all lied to me for so long. I SAID BACK UP!” You swung the knife as soon as Hoseok took a step towards you, causing him to stop and hold his palms up toward you warily.

“Listen, you have a right to be upset, but if there were things we never told you, it was only to protect you!”

You scoffed, “To protect me? So chasing me around the forest to the point of miscarriage was for protection? This is all your fault.” You drew in a shaky breath as the boy stared at your belly concealed by the dress.

“Y/N you’re…” Hoseok sighed, becoming antsier the longer the conversation dragged on. Nonetheless, he took a deep breath and spoke in a calm manner, “when did you stop taking your medication?”

“No…”

“Y/N, we can help you, just…” Hoseok lunged for the knife again but you quickly swung and caught his palm, slicing a line across the center. He yelped in pain, keeling forward and holding his injured hand to his chest.

You bolted out of the room and away from the house in a hurry to see Namjoon. No, no no no!

You just needed to see him, and then everything would be fine again.

You made your way to Yong’s house in a daze. You passed by countless witches and caped vigilantes who were all impressed with your commitment to scare as they took in your bloodied appearance and soiled blade in your hand. Someone even took a picture of you, but you didn’t have it in you to engage with them. You just needed to get to Namjoon and see for yourself if he had moved on from what you two had.

It didn’t take you long to reach his neighbor’s house, since Namjoon lived only a couple blocks from Hoseok.

You observed the house from the outside. It was dark, most likely to discourage trick or treaters, but not you. You circled the house, jiggling doors and pulling at windows until you finally found a way in through the kitchen. Sliding into the dimly lit household, you stood still and became part of the quiet that surrounded you, holding even your breath to see if everyone was truly asleep. You didn’t hear a peep, so you began stalking around the first floor, checking ever door.

You had stumbled upon the bathroom and two closets before you let yourself into a child’s bedroom. The walls were lavender and the shaggy rug that lined the small room was a pale pink in the night. A night light shone all kinds of aquatic figures across the walls as the child slept soundly at the center of her princess bed. You walked slowly over to her and leaned across the small bed to get a look at her tiny face burrowed into her pillow. She was adorable, and the fact that she was Namjoon’s was more than enough reason to love her, but she wasn’t yours, and you hated that. You just couldn’t get past it, no matter how cute she was. You frowned and sighed, exiting the room quietly then stopping in the middle of the living room.

You turned to look at the staircase that led upstairs when it occurred to you that they might be upstairs, sharing a bed as two parents might. Your nostrils flared and your breath quickened as you made haste to climb up one stair at a time as quietly as possible.

At the third stair, you finally heard it, a small moan, followed by another and another. Each step you climbed made the sounds more pronounced until it was undeniably the sound of Yong getting pleasured in her bedroom. You pictured Namjoon’s sweaty back, her pale hands clawing at it, her legs wrapped around his waist. Suddenly you heard a small giggle, and you pictured him peppering small kisses on her face that made her ticklish.

You clutched the blade tightly, your entire figure trembling as you reached the second floor. How dare he move on when we’re supposed to be starting a life together!?

You stormed into the bedroom, knocking the door into the adjacent wall with a bang.

“HEY DADDY!” You rubbed your belly as you stared at the lumps under the sheets.

The blonde peaked her head out and screamed as her lover pulled out and fell back onto the bed, regarding you with terrified eyes. He muttered a curse under his breath as he regarded your ghastly appearance while absentmindedly making sure the sheets were covering his genitals.

He wasn’t Namjoon.

“Who the fuck are you and why are you in my house!?” Yong’s husband yelled, looking at his wife and furrowing his eyebrows when he noticed the look of recognition in her eyes.

You rolled your eyes, ignoring his outburst and focusing on her. Her hands shook as they covered her breasts, her gaze wavering.

“Where is he?”

“H-he’s p-probably at the park right now. P-Please just leave. Please.” There was a different kind of fear in her eyes, and as you looked in between her and her husband, you decided to let him be the one to deliver her punishment for getting involved with Namjoon.

You exited their house as quickly as you came, walking in the direction of the park. You were tired, your anger from earlier morphing into desperation to find Namjoon and tell him how you felt.

Part of you wanted to give up and give into your defeated emotions, but you convinced yourself to focus on one step at a time, and on what you would say to him once you finally laid eyes on him.

You only thought of a few things to say before you saw him, sitting alone by the swing set. He was staring down at his feet in deep thought, so much so that he had barely registered you walking towards him. He was sad, too sad to give you a proper greeting, yet somehow his lack of reaction to seeing you hadn’t surprised you.

You decided to sit in the empty swing that hung parallel to his, kicking your feet into the gravel as you swung yourself gently with the little strength you had left.

“I keep asking myself, why didn’t she pick me, but I keep coming up short.” He sighed and buried his head in his hands dejectedly.

When you speak, the sound is so gentle it surprises even you.

“Why does it have to be her? Namjoon, I’d pick you a thousand times over.” You threw your head back and laughed lightly, looking up at the stars above, “In every life, I’d pick you. If I lived as many lives as there are specs in the night sky, it wouldn’t matter. You would always be the one.”

He shot you a melancholic smile, turning to you to take in your appearance for the first time. His gaze wandered from your far off gaze to your hands, noticing the bloodied blade and the massive wound on your wrist that had painted your arm red by now. He frowned, looking into your fading eyes. “Y/N…did you do this for me?” His voice was dripping in pain as you slumped against the chain.

“Namjoon,” You took a moment to draw in a breath but found it harder to find the strength to get your last few words out, “I’d choose you every time, no matter what. So, choose me, just please choose me this one time.”

“I did. I did choose you.” He leaned over to pick you up from the swing and cradled you against his chest as he sat down on the dirt, brushing your hair out of your face with deep sadness painting his features.

You laid against him, giving into the tiredness as you took in your fading surroundings. You looked down at your bloodied arm, seeing the wound for the first time. You brought your hand to your stomach, unable to feel the belly you had been caressing for months. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, until you looked up into the eyes that were crying over you. Jin’s beautiful face was crumpled, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

You brought your hand up weakly to caress his wet cheek. He took your hand in his and squeezed it as you gave him a tired smile. With the peace that overtook you came the answers you had been searching for all along.

You’d had it wrong all along. It was you that hadn’t chosen the right one.

Seokjin held your lifeless body close to him as he wept. He had never felt like more of a child than he had now. He had failed you continuously because he was afraid. You made him want to be brave, but when it mattered the most, he still chose to let you save him instead. As he wiped the tears from his face, he was determined to hang onto the life preserver you had unknowingly offered him.

Jin only allowed himself a few moments to grieve you before he forced himself to put you down and walk away. He knew it was only a matter of time before Namjoon would show up.

Without a backwards glance, the disoriented boy made his way to Hoseok’s house in search of the people that would deem this all worth something.

He was covered in your blood, but everyone he had passed mistook his appearance to be a lazy last-minute costume.

As he crossed the street, his mind wandered back to that fateful night in the dead of summer. He recalled what his friends did to him when he confessed to having let you escape. He could still feel the relentless blows to his body as they took turns beating him nearly half to death. Some punches and kicks were softer than others, but they didn’t stop until he was within an inch of his life. They left him for dead by the lake before going to search for you. He knew they avoided killing him on purpose, which is why he called Jungkook as soon as his memory returned. It was something they did whenever they suspected a member of betraying them, as a form of re-initiation. If you somehow survived, then you deserved a second chance.

Jin wasn’t sure he wanted the second chance, but he felt as if he didn’t have a choice if he wanted to return to life as he knew it back home.

Jungkook had gone the easiest on him, so he felt safe calling him first. He had expected the relief that flooded the younger one’s tone when he heard Jin’s voice on the other end. But what he didn’t expect, were the conditions attached to his return. After Jungkook confided in Namjoon, they decided not to make things easy for him, since he’d deliberately backstabbed them all.

He was only allowed to return home if he finished what they had started that fateful night.

Jin let himself into Hoseok’s house, dragging his feet as he made his way to the living room. The party had thinned out, but the guys remained on the couches as they nursed their drinks and waited for his arrival.

He had expected them to be in their dwarves costumes as they always were every year, but he hadn’t expected someone else to be in your Snow White costume, at least not so soon.

The bubbly princess sat on Jungkook’s lap, staring at him in adoration while he checked his phone in pure boredom.

As Jin came into view, the maknae of the group looked up and smiled serenly, something shifting in his gaze. Jin simply stared back, resisting the shiver that threatened to rack his frame at his resemblance to Namjoon in that moment.

“Did you take care of it?” The boy put his phone away as the rest of his friends turned their attention to Jin, some looking impressed while others looked skeptical.

The tall brunette smiled back at Jungkook in pure irony. He realized the evil he had vowed to dismantle from the inside could never truly be abolished, it would simply take on a new form to survive.

He was a fool for thinking he’d ever be able to win. So, he vowed instead to honor your life by preserving his own.

“Yeah, it’s done.”

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