#bad boy reginald

[paganminiskirt]

Spelunking in the A-Train tag on ao3 and having to scroll through three pages of Homelander/Reader fics first as if Reggie isn’t twice the man that lip quivering milk guzzling fat shaming nazi fucking asshole bleaching r/mommydom lurking Strawberry Monster Energy head ass bitch will ever FUCKING be

[inkspiredwriting]

Playground Pandemonium

Five Hargreeves x reader

A/N: I imagine that five would be a great dad. But I also think that he is insecure and is sometimes afraid of becoming just like Reginald. What do you think?

Warnings: None

It was a rare sunny Saturday afternoon, and Five Hargreeves had finally found a day to spend entirely with his wife Y/n and their four-year-old daughter Maddie. They decided to make the most of it by visiting the local playground. Y/n, ever the planner, packed a picnic basket full of Maddie’s favorite snacks, while Five’s contribution was ensuring they arrived early enough to grab the best spot.

As they walked hand in hand through the park, Five scanned the area. “I haven’t been to a playground since, well, ever,” he admitted.

Y/n laughed, squeezing his hand. “You missed out on a quintessential part of childhood, Five. But don’t worry, Maddie will show you the ropes.”

Maddie, bouncing ahead of them with an infectious energy, turned around and called, “Come on, Daddy! You’re gonna love the swings!”

Maddie made a beeline for the swings, and Five found himself being roped into pushing her. “Higher, Daddy! Higher!” she shrieked with delight.

Five, slightly uncertain but determined not to disappoint, gave her a solid push. Maddie soared into the air, laughing gleefully.

“Careful, Five,” Y/n warned, settling on a nearby bench with a watchful eye. “We don’t want her launching into space.”

Five smirked, “I’ve seen worse launches.” He gave Maddie another push, but this time, his mind wandered to a particularly explosive time-travel incident.

Distracted, he pushed a bit too hard. Maddie shrieked—not in delight, but in mild terror—as she swung higher than intended. “Whoa! Okay, not that high!”

Y/n stifled a laugh as Five, looking mortified, rushed to catch the swing on its way back. “Sorry, kiddo,” he said, steadying her. “Daddy’s still learning the basics.”

Maddie giggled, her fear quickly forgotten. “It’s okay, Daddy. Just don’t push me into the future!”

After the swing incident, Maddie led them to the sandbox, where she promptly began constructing an elaborate sandcastle. Five and Y/n joined in, Five more reluctantly.

“Why does this remind me of building fortifications during the apocalypse?” Five muttered as he helped shape a sand wall.

Y/n chuckled. “Probably because you’re overthinking it. Just have fun!”

Maddie, her tongue poking out in concentration, sculpted a turret. “Look, Daddy! A tower!”

Five nodded, actually impressed. “Nice work, Maddie. It’s almost as secure as some of the bunkers I’ve seen.”

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully. “Maybe we can skip the part where it gets blown up by time-traveling assassins.”

As they worked, a group of kids approached, drawn by the impressive sandcastle. One boy, clearly the sandbox bully, sneered at their work. “That’s a silly castle,” he said, kicking sand at the base.

Five bristled, ready to give the kid a stern talking-to, but Y/n put a calming hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Five. Let Maddie handle it.”

Maddie stood up, glaring at the boy. “My Daddy can travel through time and fight bad guys. What can your daddy do?”

The boy, taken aback, mumbled something about his dad being a lawyer and scampered off. Five chuckled, giving Maddie a high five. “That’s my girl.”

Y/n called them over to the picnic blanket for snacks. As they sat down, Maddie’s excitement was palpable. “Can I have a juice box, Mommy?”

Y/n handed Maddie a juice box and gave Five a sandwich. “Try not to eat it too quickly,” she teased. “We don’t have a lot of supplies here.”

Five took a bite, nodding appreciatively. “Better than cockroaches.”

Just as they were settling in, a squirrel darted towards the picnic blanket, clearly eyeing their food. Maddie squealed, and Five immediately went into protective mode.

“Back off, rodent!” Five growled, standing up to chase the squirrel away.

The squirrel, unperturbed, grabbed a stray cookie and scampered up a tree. Five glared after it, shaking his fist. “This isn’t over!”

Y/n laughed, pulling him back down to the blanket. “I think we’ll survive without one cookie.”

Maddie, giggling, took a sip of her juice box. “Daddy, you’re so funny when you’re mad.”

Five sat down with a huff, brushing off the dirt. “I’m glad someone thinks so.”

The playground centerpiece was a tall slide, and Maddie insisted that her parents try it with her. Five eyed the slide warily. “Are you sure about this? I mean, what if—”

“No ‘what ifs,’ Five,” Y/n interrupted, grabbing his hand. “It’ll be fun!”

They climbed the ladder, Maddie leading the way. At the top, Five hesitated. “This is higher than it looks.”

Y/n, already halfway down the slide with Maddie, called back, “Don’t chicken out now!”

With a resigned sigh, Five sat at the top of the slide. “Here goes nothing.” He pushed off, the slide’s angle steeper than expected. As he hurtled down, his typically composed expression twisted into one of surprise.

He shot off the end of the slide, landing in an undignified heap on the ground. Maddie burst into laughter, running over to help him up. “That was awesome, Daddy!”

Y/n, laughing so hard she had tears in her eyes, helped him stand. “See? Fun!”

Five dusted himself off, trying to maintain some dignity. “Maybe for you.”

As the sun began to set, the Hargreeves family packed up their picnic and headed home. Maddie, tired from her day of adventure, held each of her parents’ hands, swinging between them.

“That was the best day ever!” she declared, beaming up at them.

Five, despite his usual stoicism, smiled down at her. “I’m glad you had fun, Maddie.”

Y/n leaned her head on Five’s shoulder as they walked. “You know, for someone who’s never been to a playground, you did pretty well.”

Five chuckled. “Well, I had a good teacher.”

As they reached their car, Maddie climbed into her seat, already half-asleep. Five and Y/n shared a look, both of them tired but happy.

“Same time next week?” Five asked, a twinkle in his eye.

Y/n laughed, kissing his cheek. “Absolutely. As long as you promise not to get into a fight with any more squirrels.”

Five grinned. “No promises.”

As the Hargreeves family drove home, the playground behind them, they couldn't help but smile. It was the perfect blend of laughter, love, and just a bit of Hargreeves-style mayhem.

[minnielvrr]

᧔ lee Hannie hcs ᧓

Tags: @itzsana-kiddingmenow, @lajanaa, @bbybumblelee, @hearted-anon, @lunalattae, @reginald-stay09, @jungwon-is-the-one

lee bf hannie letting you tickle him whenever you're in a ler mood. he had a special kind of tolerance when it came to you—he let you tickle him whenever you were in a ler mood, no matter how bad it got. and it always got bad.

just like now: your thumbs dug into his hip bones, rubbing deep, torturous circles that sent shocks of ticklish sensation shooting through him. hannie threw his head back, helpless laughter spilling out of him in waves.

he’d been lounging on the couch moments before, scrolling through his phone and half-watching one of his favorite anime movies—something he’d seen so many times that he could quote it word-for-word.

and yet he'd never expected this. you’d pounced, sending his phone clattering to the floor and pinning him with ease.

you rarely had ler moods, usually preferring to be his lee but the few times the urge had taken over— you'd absolutely ruined hannie. the poor man had been left a blushing, breathless mess on the floor, bed or couch.

and he had thoroughly enjoyed every. second. of it, even going as far as to come to you to soothe his lee moods instead of going all the way to the dorms to ask one of the boys.

"yhihinihie! ihihit tihihickles sohohoho bahaHAHAHAD!!" he howled, but even as his body wriggled like he was trying to escape. you both knew the truth: he loved this far too much to truly fight you off.

"just a little longer love, i wanna hear your cute giggles just a little more," you'd crooned in his ear, flustering him beyond anything you'd done before.

“oh, come on, hannie,” you teased, your voice dripping with faux sympathy. “is this too much for my baby? i’m sorry i know how sensitive you are.”

your hands, of course, betrayed how little remorse you actually felt. they crawled up his sides, fingers clawing into his ribs and drawing patterns that were equal parts agonizing and thrilling. by the time you reached the soft skin of his underarms, he was practically shrieking with laughter.

“p-plehehehease!” hannie managed between gasps. his cheeks were flushed, his body writhing as his cackles filled the room.

you leaned down, crooning in his ear, “just a little longer, love. i want to hear those cute giggles of yours just a little more.”

the way his face turned an even deeper shade of red made your heart swell. poor Hannie—helpless, ticklish, and completely at your mercy.

but he was willing to accept this for you. sure, he’d occasionally let minho get away with this kind of 'torture' too. but moments like this? they were just for the two of you.

when your hands shifted their attention to his belly, kneading the soft pudge he’d gained over the past month and swirling your nails around his giggle button, it was too much.

hannie finally succumbed to the sensations entirely, letting you coax as much laughter from him as your heart desired. his laughter spilling out sweet, free and unrestrained.

"fuhuhuhuhck youhuhuhu're mehehercilehehess!!" he squealed, eyes squeezed shut and face scrunched up in a adorable smile. this was the sight your inner tickle monster always craved.

hannie with the brightest of smiles on his face, rosy tear stained cheeks and hiccupy laughter falling in strings from his lips.

still, he kept his hands pinned above his head, just as you liked. his fingers curled into fists, and his arms trembled with the effort it took to keep them there.

"gods you're so damn cute like this," you murmured, voice low and sweet. "keep laughing for me darling, i won't stop until i've dragged out every last drop of laughter you're keeping hidden in there."

you knew it was driving him wild—the way he struggled against himself, refusing to move even as the ticklish sensations overwhelmed his body. hannie shook his head, kicked his feet, and surrendered completely to your touch—anything but disobey you.

[puckishpuppeteer]

How bad was everything, that Reginald ended up being one of the best characters this season? Really?!

They massacred my boys!

Not to mention that they made Klaus completely irrelevant this season. He deserves better than that!

(Not saying they didn't ruin the rest of them, but Klaus is my fave. And really what the fuck was going on with Lila and Five?!)

[depressedcoffeeobsess]

𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐊𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬

Young!Five Hargreeves x Young!fem!reader

Warnings: severe begging , a kiss on the cheek , one bad word....

Summary: five has to dance with Vanya , eight has to dance with diego. Poor eight's on her knees begging five to dance with her.

(I wouldn't call this a oneshot its more like drabble)

"Please Five pleeeease!" She begged looking up at the boy.

Sir Reginald Hargreeves wanted his kids all to know how to dance. Slow dancing to be specific. He assigned partners to dance with. Poor eight is stuck with diego. Diego doesnt know how to dance at all. He is worse then an octopus reports allison on one of their tea parties. Vanya is quite lucky though. She got five. They all kniw five is a pro at dancing. But he wont admit it.

So here she is , on her knees , with her hands clasped together begging the boy to dance with her. Five is sitting down on the bed looking down at the girl with no expression. Eight is also looking at five in a pleading way , which seems to have not apleased the boy. I mean how would it work on him? Puppy eyes barely even touch his soul. Souless shit.

"Please"

"No"

"Please"

"No"

"Please"

"No"

"Please"

"No"

"Please, pretty please with a big cheeky strawberry on top five?" She pleaded extra sweetly. This kinda touched fives heart. It was no doubt five wasnted to dance with the begging girl. After all who wouldn't? Thise beautiful locks of hair that flew around looking for mercy. And those big bright orbs in her eyes. How would he not?

With a thousand more pleads five finnally let in. "Oh goddammit eight! Fine I'll dance with you , j-just stop begging!" He raised his voice a bit.

Eight's eyes gleamed with joy. She jumped up and hugged five so hard he almost fell down. Oh boy , could she give hugs. Five was very flushed but didn't want to show it.

Eight pulled away and leaned back into him. Suddenly five felt a small tingle on his cheek. She had kissed him on the cheek. He was bright red now.

Eight happily skipped out the room to tell Vanya that she was dancing with Diego.

A/N : I'm not in my tua phase (yet) . It is just a filler. Sorry.

•dividers by @issysh3ll

[ambcass]

INVINCIBLE X MALE READER BRO IT COULD BE ANYTBING HERO X VILLAIN OLS IM CRHIGN MY EYES OUT

hello everypony. this is my brother. he decided to SPAM my inbox for a fanfic for his twink. as the amazing sister I am I will write smth for him (after 1.5 weeks of this sitting in my inbox) I'll make a pt.2 if u want

"No, it can't be. You can't be *villain name*." is the same thing every guy you've dated said after you told them about your secret. The truth is, the world classified you as a villain. Everyone watching the news considered you a cold, no-good killing machine.

Being a villain with telepathy, telekinesis, fire abilities, and mind-altering powers is never a good mix for anyone! Would you kill your ex's after finding out you're a villain? No, you cared too much for them. Altering their mind until you erase yourself from their minds and everyone they knew.

This time is different. You met a dorky-looking boy with slicked-back dark hair and blue eyes on your first day at Reginald Vel Johnson High School. You two had chemistry together, and the second you stepped foot in that class, he couldn't keep his eyes off you. You were so handsome in his eyes. He told William all about you every since! Crazy how much someone can be so obsessed with someone even without mind-altering.

Did you notice at first? No. Bad as feelings as you were, you could not give a fuck about Mark. He didn't interest you in any way until one day.

You were not in a good mood that day at all. Last night you were running off rooftops, trying to escape the hero in yellow and blue. You got away by creating a firewall and going into his mind, making him forget why he was there in the first place. This stunned him and you receive plenty of time to escape. The next, you got to Chem and sat behind Mark and William's lab table. You close your eyes and rest your head on the table while using your arms as support.

"*Name*? Him? The boy behind us?" William's words caught your attention. You looked up and glared at the two. Intrigued, you pretended to sleep. Keeping out for what they were about to say. Mark forcefully turned William's head,

"Noooo. Why would it be! You're so funny! hahaha," Mark grinned awkwardly. He grabbed William's face and spoke quietly but loud enough for you to hear. "Of course it's *name* you moron! Don't say it out loud-" You cut him off.

"Will you two stop talking about me?" you asked. Mark's face turned tomato red as he sank to his chair in embarrassment. Both William and Mark would look back at you but Mark would just stare at you, smiling. "Okay. Creepy...but he's kinda cute." You smiled softly.

Time past by and you couldn't stop wondering why they were talking about you! It's not like you actually knew them. Your eyes lit up as a idea was formed. If he wouldn't tell you, then why not find out for yourself. A smirk appeared on your face. "He wouldn't mind if I just- " Focusing on Mark's mind, you wonder why he's been staring at you ever since your first day, why he's talking about you like he's got some type of crush on you.

"I really like *name* but don't know how to tell him. He seems cool and I want to be closer to him but I'm scared he will shut me out... I have to tell him how I feel eventually. Right?" You're shocked. Lost for words even. Were you flattered? Maybe. It's been a while since you've been in a romantic relationship. This might be it.

A few minutes before class was about to end, an idea came to your mind. Why not give Mark some help confessing to you? Was it wrong? Yes. Did you care? No. You focused on his mind again. First, you thought of Mark confessing to you. Then, you sent it off to his brain. Lastly, you watch everything come into play. The bell rang and you packed up your stuff. Mark was lost in a trance while William was trying to figure out what was going on.

"Earth to Mark! Hellooo? Is anyone home?" You walked past the two without saying a word but stopped at the door frame. Mark snapped out of it and sprung up from his seat with a joyous smile. William raised his brows to an overly happy Mark. "Hey, are you okay-" William was cut off,

"I think I'm gonna do it, Will. I think I'll tell him how I feel."

[morguecuts]

Running From Vain

five hargreeves x fem!reader synopsis: you confuse anger for love. word count: 1.8k tags: angst, heavy fluff, kissing, touching, etc. technically adopted siblings? lots of character lore lol note: story was written with s4 visuals in mind. this is my first time writing tua fanfic so i hope u enjoy. i apologize in advance for being an extremely detailed writer :)

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the 8th hargreeves child was the one that reginald kept hidden and locked away for decades. her blood regeneration was able to flow through not only herself but others as well, being able to save them from death and retrieve their leaking souls when needed. she lacked the ability to control them from a young age, and her powers were deemed too impactful to society fairly quickly. when a mission goes rather poorly, she is revealed to the world by mistake. since then she’s been known as the outcast to everyone, including her own siblings. the world is coming to an end once again, issues are constantly arising with all connections pointing to the umbrella academy. the family already lost beloved parts of itself in the past, and they bare to lose any more. tension has been brewing for years and one wrong comment leads to a certain couple releasing deep emotions, both good and bad.

♱⛧ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨ ୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆⛧♱

his hands travel from the sides of his face upwards towards the messy black hair that lays upon his head. their strands are falling to perfectly frame the chiseled boy below them. an unpleasant expression is sprawled across five’s face, his tired eyes clenched closed as his eyebrows pinch together. 

“no, you don't understand! we can’t keep wasting time, everything will be gone tomorrow.” he opens his mouth for the time in what feels like hours. his chest begins to rise and fall quickly. his feet start to carry him back and forth, passing you every few moments while his eyes are locked onto you. the hallway where you both reside is tense, heavy, and secluded from the rest of the house. for being in such a mammoth size mansion, with 7 other siblings, a robot mother, and an intelligent monkey, the world seems to be silent. the only noise that can be heard is the faint sound of five breathing, releasing a few deep sighs as he does. 

“i understand perfectly well, but your plan is useless. you are so insufferable to work with, i mean come on five, be realistic for once! if we listen to viktor then we might actually be able to stop the apocalypse.” you make an attempt at replying, but it seems like he’s starting to ignore you. 

the air is intoxicating, you hate him, you hate what he did to the umbrella name, and especially to you. it’s time for someone to stand up and confront his decision making. everything he does is egotistical and arrogant. his words are sharp and impactful in the most negative ways imaginable. the sound of his shuffling feet stop, his dark beaded eyes trace every aspect of your face before opening his mouth in response to you. 

“you know you’re a real piece of work right? calling me insufferable is completely distasteful when all you do is follow diego around like a lost puppy. it’s fucking embarrassing for everyone in this family, and you know it.” he stops to let out a small chuckle before pointing his finger towards your chest. “don't even make me mention the grave mistake you made on our last mission either” his expression is ridden in evil, a small upturned smile resting on his face and he stares into you.

“that was not my fault,” you spit back, angrily stepping towards him. “i am the ONLY person who TRIED to help ben and everyone who was in that chamber could tell you that themselves.” red flashes of anger spread across your skin as you continue to step closer to five. “he died from something completely unrelated to my powers, but I FUCKING TRIED! I DID, NOT ALLISON, NOT DIEGO, ME.” by this time you are meters away from being chest to chest with the boy. 

“you’re a waste of space. you disappoint everyone in this house.” he glares down, his taller figure towers over you menacingly.

"that's really rich coming from you." you take a step back and laugh to yourself. "do you know that nobody in this family likes you anymore? hmm? after all the shit you've constantly put us through, five?”

"i dedicated my entire life to saving your asses, i spent 40 goddamn years in an apocalypse just to come back and save all of you countless times! what do i get in return? impertinence." his demeanor is getting worsened by each remark, hot red anger is spread across his face as he snaps back at you. 

"none of us asked you to! you are always taking charge and forcing us to follow your plans, what if we didn't want to do this anymore? you're such a narcissist everything is always about you!" a near table rattled slightly from the yelling, the flowerpot on top shook before calming back down after a moment. 

"fuck you. fuck all of you. i'm TIRED of trying to save this family. if you all want to die in another apocalypse, then be my guest." he scoffs looking at you one more time and turns to walk away. "god you're so pathetic, always teleporting away when things don't go your way. you’re so childish." you hiss

"what did you say to me?" five spins back around, his feet carrying him back towards you. "you heard me." you raise your head and straighten up, holding his tough gaze. by this time the two of you are practically chest to chest again, his eyes beaming down into you. if he wasn’t human, you'd imagine smoke being blown from his ears and nostrils out of anger.

"say it again." 

"you're. fucking. pathetic." 

in a heartbeat his lips are smashing into you hungrily. one of his hands is gripping your face while the other snakes around your waist. all of the pent up anger between the both of you comes crashing down, blending into lust. he feels warm, his soul is bleeding into yours as his tongue explores your mouth. his hands are running all over your body, stopping to hold onto your mid section, then your behind, and finally dragging their way up to your neck. five pulls back, panting slightly, his eyes searching yours worried and confused.

“do you want this?”  

“more than anything.” you drive your hands into his hair, yanking his lips back into yours. his small smile is felt pressing into your mouth, fingers lingering around the belt loops on the front of your jeans. he’s pulling your body into his as he deepens the kiss, groaning into you when you rub against him slightly. 

he pulls away and leaves trails of hot wet kisses on the front of your throat. you grumble and moan at this touch, causing five to laugh into your skin. he leaves small love bites all over your neck and collarbones while you run your hands through his hair. his eyes glance up at you, a different light beams through them now then moments before. his anger has faded into something similar to love. his little pecks come to a slow rhythm before he returns to your lips. dragging you into him, the two of you slowly begin backing up towards one of the hallway walls. 

he presses his long fingers into the sides of your waist, shoving you into the stone behind you. five’s grip is firm and tight, stopping you from being able to wiggle loose. the way his mouth moves is like a work of art. there’s no doubt that someone had taught him how to kiss like this, but my god, you are thankful for them. you touch him memorizing every piece of his body from his chest, his jawline, to the back of his neck, and up through his hair. the way he leans into your touches with such desperation is absolutely god like.

his slight groans and noises grow in volume when you reach your fingers towards his waist. a sly hand lifting the edge of his shirt and running along the front of his bare body. his small smile returns, pulling back from your lips. 

“your hands are cold.” he leans forward, placing a kiss on your forehead. the invisible bubble draped over the two of you seems to pop. he’s moving hands into the back pocket of your jeans, keeping you pressed into him. you smile at the small actions, glaring up to analyze his face.

“come with me” five reaches for your hand interlocking his fingers between yours. his feet are ready to speed away as he gently pulls you toward whenever he’s leading. 

“five we can’t…” you look at him guilty. 

“no, no… not that.” his head shakes in disbelief as he smiles at you. “please just trust me and come” his hand tugs at yours pleadingly. 

there’s another moment of hesitation before you give him a small nod and move your feet to follow his. the grip he has on your hand tightens as he pulls you forward, a blue smokey powder flashes in front of you before realizing what he was doing. 

there’s a millisecond of discomfort and stinging before you feel the ground beneath your feet again. it hadn’t crossed your mind before how it felt for five to use his powers, but my god it was strange. 

the room is similar to a greenhouse with its large glass windows and open ceiling. it’s covered in vines and greenery with a small white pitched tent in the center. there are boxes and a large wooden table to the side, scattered papers sprawled over its surface. there’s a couple whiteboards on the back wall with calculations and symbols scribbled all over. the messy handwriting looks like five’s, and a photo of his stupid mannequin ex-girlfriend, delores, is hung from one of them confirming this was his doing. 

“where are we?” you glance at him before returning to observe the room.

“the highest level of the house, it’s locked behind one of dads bookshelves but i found it a couple years ago. i used to sneak in here when i needed a quiet place. it’s hard to be bothered when nobody else can get inside except for me” he smiles down at you, tracing small circles with his thumb onto your hand, still intertwined.

you analyze the writings and questions scattered along the room, puzzled about the true purpose of being taken up here. he looks at you confidently while holding a small pale wooden box with the umbrella logo printed on top. 

“i didn't think you were ready before, but i think you are now. i know how we will all survive the apocalypse.” 

 ♱⛧ ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨ ୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆⛧♱

thank you so much for reading!

i hope you’ve enjoyed it, please feel free to make any comments or story requests down below. any support is always appreciated <3

[agentlizardofowca]

perryshmirtz “maybe we should kiss just to break the tension.” from the quotes prompt

After three successful dates (and one bad one, it was not their fault) Perry invited Heinz to meet his immediate family. It had gone surprisingly well, and over the months that followed Doof somehow built a stronger friendship with the Flynn-Fletchers than he had ever managed with Charlene's parents and sister. They had never liked him much, but Perry's family didn't bat an eye at his strange behavior. Strangely enough, Heinz almost felt like he fit in.

It took almost two years of officially dating before Perry informed him that it was time for Heinz to meet the extended family. Perry's expression was not enthused, but Heinz was used to his boyfriend's stoic expressions so he did not think much of it.

The day of the Fletcher Family reunion arrived and Heinz was introduced to Winifred and Reginald Fletcher who were both hilarious, interested, friendly, and potentially insane. Never before had Heinz met a woman who was as unimpressed with Perry as his foster mother. She ordered Heinz to grab them "a cuppa" before she told him an array of embarrassing stories from Perry's youth. In her purse she had a stack of photos, some of a teenaged and awkward Lawrence, and then a few of a grumpy-faced peach-fuzz-lipped Perry who wore his school uniform with absolute disdain. His hair was too long, in one ear sat an earring, and in some pictures, he sported an impressive black eye.

"Perigrin wasn't very impressed with the school bullies," She said with poorly hidden pride. "He showed them what for!"

Perry was in the middle of begging his mother not to tell any more stories when a new group of people arrived. A young lady and a herd of boys all stormed in, followed by a man who had to be Lawrence's biological brother.

"Aiden, how nice of you to come!" Lawrence announced and went to hug his brother.

Distantly, Heinz registered that his hand was being crushed.

He looked down and found that Perry was looking particularly grave.

"Perry?" Heinz asked, and Perry blinked as if coming to his senses. He released Heinz's hand from the death grip, dusted his knees, and got up from his begging position.

Heinz then watched as Perry stiffly and awkwardly went to greet Aiden. They shook hands so politely that Doof couldn't help but feel a bit worried.

"It's been so long, Perry," Aiden announced loudly. "I see you haven't grown an inch!"

Perry bared his teeth in a most unnatural smile and continued shaking his hand.

After Aiden was done laughing at his own joke, he wiped a fake tear from his eye before continuing what Heinz could only describe as a comedy routine.

"I'll give you twenty dollars to say something right now," Aiden pulled out his wallet, and when Perry just grimaced at him uncomfortably he put it away and laughed some more.

Perhaps it was more like a roast.

"How's the wife and kids? Oh no wait! You're single and lonely!" Aiden laughed again, completely unaware that he was the only one.

Perry had crossed his arms two "jokes" ago, and beside Heinz, Winifred crossed her arms impatiently. Apparently, this routine happened every time? Heinz couldn't help but wonder why Perry hadn't smacked that guy yet, if Heinz made a joke that bad he'd be bruised for a week.

"Actually Aiden, Perry brought his partner along!" Lawrence announced, and he held his arms out as if he too was scared of what Perry was capable of.

Aiden paused his laughter. "Wait really?" He asked and he looked around the room in surprise. His eyes landed on Heinz and after a moment where Heinz and Aiden stared at each other awkwardly, the brother said "Oh," In an almost disappointed tone.

"Come meet Heinz," Lawrence tried to guide Aiden towards him. Heinz rose to his feet hesitantly, and his eyes checked with Perry who had apparently decided to stay there and let this happen.

"Aha," Aiden agreed. "Heinz. Foreign name?"

"Drusselstein." He agreed.

Aiden's face contorted for a moment. "Like Matteo Spieler, Drusselstein?!" He asked loudly. And his face got quite red, quite quickly

Heinz had to think for a moment. He wasn't much of a sports guy, but even he knew that Matteo Spieler was Drusselstein's most famous soccer player. He was currently playing in the European league and was personally responsible for the winning goal against England. Ah. Heinz might understand the sudden burst of anger.

Aiden turned to Perry. "You're DATING THE ENEMY?!" He shouted and he grabbed an apple from the counter and threw it on the floor. Where it burst into many pieces.

"Now, now Aiden!" Lawrence interjected and he tried to calm him down. Linda sighed loudly and left the room, if anyone expected her to clean up that mess they were wrong.

"Drusselstein?! Really!"

Whilst Lawrence kept Aiden occupied, Perry returned to Heinz's side and circled his heart with one finger 「Sorry.」

Heinz watched the hissifit with amazement. "Not your fault. I think?"

"Honestly, I expected his homophobia to be the issue, not your nationality," Winifred remarked as she sipped her tea casually.

Heinz blinked and turned to his boyfriend. "Do you think that if we kissed to break the tension that would snap him out of it?"

Perry snorted in amusement and pulled Heinz along as he stepped up to Aiden. He cleared his throat dramatically, twirled Heinz around, dipped him low, and mashed their mouths together in an unelegant but enthusiastic kiss.

Winifred cheered happily.

Aiden paused his argument with Lawrence to look at the performance.

When Perry eventually released the Drusselsteinian enemy from his kiss, he smiled at Aiden and winked.

It worked, in that Aiden shut up about football for a while, but Heinz very quickly learned that the other members of the Fletcher family were a lot more fun to talk to. After all, Winifred still had pictured from Perry's youth he had to see.

[miniskirtmods]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀 𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐘

(teaser)

parings ˚ The Umbrella Academy x sibling!reader

warning(s) ˚ teenage pregnancy, giving birth, purchase of child, Sir Reginald Hargreeves

synopsis ˚ A teenage girl gives birth to one of the vary beings that will cause the inevitable end of the world as we know it and an eccentric billionaire is ready to collect the child in a heartbeat. With a generous donation of course.

word count ˚ 414

authors note ˚ yall I just saw the season four teaser and to say I'm excited is understatement. I thank that teaser for sparking my love of writing again. I you guys enjoy this and I may just get this to season three ;)

ADDIS ABABA, ETHIOPIA. OCTOBER 1, 1989

The skies were painted a picture perfect blue over the small African village. Sifan, a teenage girl, skirts past the many women cleaning their hands in the steel sinks as she tries to get her earrings back from a pesky little boy. 

Running wasn’t her favorite thing to do, especially because she almost twisted her ankle on the multiple rocks that found their way in her path. She was also in flats so that didn’t help the ache in her feet either. She did her best to ignore it as she came neck to neck with the boy, ready to grab his collar when suddenly  .  .  .  she stopped. Alarmed and clutching her stomach, Sifan grits her teeth, stumbling onto the ground with a sour look on her face.

A woman in front of her first bad mouthed the young girl, saying that she stepped on her dress and she should apologize, but her one-sided bickering ended as soon as she saw the girl’s state. Was it her imagination, or was her previously-flat stomach expanding by the second? The entire village had fallen an ear to the sticky screams of Sifan as she clutched her abdomen. A group of villagers helped the girl off her feet, ushering her to a nearby cot. Throughout the village, nervous townspeople huddle in groups, whispering, sharing gossip. 

The teenage girl yowls in pain, grasping onto the hands near her, drawing blood as her nails dug deep into their skin. Her belly is wilding distended. The doctor emerged from between her legs, holding a perfectly healthy newborn baby girl. Sifan let out a large sigh as she heard the baby’s loud cries towards her; inevitably joining her in her screeching sobs.

ON THE TWELFTH HOUR OF THE FIRST DAY OF OCTOBER 1989,  43 WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD GAVE BIRTH.

THIS WAS UNUSUAL ONLY IN THE FACT THAT NONE OF THESE WOMEN HAD BEEN PREGNANT WHEN THE DAY FIRST BEGAN.

SIR REGINALD HARGREEVES, ECCENTRIC BILLIONAIRE AND ADVENTURER, RESOLVED TO LOCATE AND ADOPT AS MANY OF THE CHILDREN AS POSSIBLE.

“Astonishing!” Hargreeves enters the birthing room, adjusting the si;ver monocle on his left eye. The family stares, too confused to protest, as he approaches the teenage mother. He examines the newborn in her arms, slipping off his silk, white gloves in order to poke it with one slender finger. Satisfied, he looks to the mother.

“How much do you want for it?”

HE GOT EIGHT OF THEM

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

Agent Phoenix and John Juniper: *on a first date at a fancy restaurant*

Reginald and Roxana: *at the table next to them in these bad boys*

[ondeemand]

Umbrella Academy Season 4 Review

I cannot understate how bad this season was, not just from a character writing angle, but from a world building one as well. Am I biased because Five is my favorite character and he, arguably, had the biggest character assassination this season? Maybe. But I'd still like to go over my analysis of the final season of Umbrella Academy despite the fact that I'm going to pretend it didn't happen.

Things that don't make sense with the logic they've established

Little to no explanation of the “upgrades” or changes in everyone’s powers. Only some got an actual upgrade (Allison, Klaus, Five, Viktor, and Lila), but Ben’s tentacles just changed positions with no explanation (likely so he didn’t have to wear that greenscreen torso setup), and Luther and Diego just stayed the same.

○ Why does Allison’s upgrade involve super strength and/or telekinesis? I could maybe see it working on people (a silent command for them to do physically impossible things like float), but why does her power make the lights flicker and furniture move? ○ Why does Lila have laser vision as her upgrade? Her power is to copy powers, no one here has laser eyes. If it’s meant to be an upgrade, why is her upgrade laser eyes of all things? You could have made it so she can use multiple powers at once instead. Not to mention that the laser vision played next to no important role in the entire show besides one attack in the final fight that Viktor could have done instead. ○ Luther mentioned in an episode that he’s been having problems with his powers? What problems? That was never shown and never elaborated on. Also, everyone has already mentioned this, but Luther getting his power back wouldn’t give him the ape DNA.

The show claims that Allison also lost her powers last season despite her not getting her Marigold taken out of her. This could have been a programming thing with Reginald’s universal reset, but it isn’t really established so we’re left to guess (or at least I am).

Why did the CIA hire an 18 year old (at most) looking boy and accept that his name is a number? Did they not question that he’s a Hargreeves and any relations he may have to Reginald? This could be explained that the CIA looked the other way because Five’s boss was a member of the Keepers and possibly knew he had something to do with the timeline being screwed up, but this isn’t ever confirmed.

I liked that Lila’s family was alive, but how? Why? How did they reconnect? Did Lila replace their daughter? Are everyone else’s parents alive? If so, why didn’t they go look for them (especially Klaus, who went out of his way to find his birth mother last season)? Are the other October 1st children alive in this universe? If so, why didn’t they look for Sloane, even if she’d have no memory of her time as a Sparrow? This plot point just creates so many questions that go unanswered.

Number inconsistency with the timeline (Five is 63 instead of 64 years old, saying they spent 5 years instead of 6, etc). The beginning of the show said it was a 6 year time-skip, but the end of the season said it was only about 5 1/2 years, which is likely what led to these inconsistencies. It’s a small detail, but all it would take to fix is to just say it was a 5 year time-skip from the start.

Ben on a subway train last season was seemingly not explained despite subway trains being a very important plot device this season. I get that they probably had to change the story because of Netflix canceling the show, but still.

What’s with the Jennifer portrait in Sparrow Ben’s room in season 3 if he’s never met her before? It was probably just meant to be a reference, but now it retroactively doesn’t make sense.

Why does Claire know that Klaus is immortal? Even if he told her, why would she believe him? They live in a world where they never had powers, and I don’t think anyone told her they got the powers back, let alone every detail of how Klaus’ work.

Five used the ability to go back in time in short bursts way back in season 2, why does he never use that power again? (The answer is that it was too convenient and could fix any plot point, but still)

No paradox psychosis symptoms in the deli full of Fives (because it’s in the subway? Unclear and unexplained).

Diego said that Lila hates bracelets and traded one that Diego got her, but she kept the one Diego made in the 1963 asylum and wore it for the rest of the season. It even made it to season 3 where Diego had kept it for most of the time, then returned it to Lila at the end. It’s such an important symbol of their relationship, but they just had to throw in a random reason that Diego would discover the affair that doesn’t even make logical sense.

Very small thing, but Viktor said he was going to pull out Ben’s Marigold but then they switched it to pulling out his/Jennifer’s Durango.

Klaus doesn’t have his Hello/Goodbye or cult tattoos but they do all have the umbrella tattoos? That doesn’t make sense.

Seeing all the kids being happy in the new timeline was nice, but I do have to point out that they wouldn’t exist if their parents didn’t, or it’d be incredibly unlikely that they’d turn out exactly the same and end up being all together.

Seeing Grace happy at the end was also really sweet, but it didn’t make logical sense because the real Grace is from Dallas in the 60s. She’d be old and/or dead by then, and if they showed her, why not also show Ray, Missy, and Harlan?

Things I just don't like about it

Where’s Ray? It was sad that he was so easily written out and delegated to just a few lines.

Klaus getting whored out is so uncomfortable. Thank god they cut away before it got too graphic, but it was still so bad.

Klaus overall was underutilized and given the short end of the stick this season. How it usually works is Five and Lila are the A Team, they have all the pieces put together and are making real progress. Everyone else is the B Team, they’re trying their best to solve the plot but sometimes make unnecessary moves because they don’t know everything. And then there’s Klaus on the C Team doing god knows what (and I love him for it). However, even if it’s silly, it always impacts the story in some sort of helpful way.

○ In season 1 he gets kidnapped and sent to Vietnam on his own side quest. The plot relevance is that now he learns more about Hazel and Cha Cha and learns how the briefcases work. This is also a somber character moment that forces him to mature through a traumatic event. More positively, it’s where he meets the love of his life that, in turn, has ties to season 2. ○ In season 2 he fucks off for 3 years to start a cult. This allows him time to really practice with his powers and has development for Ben, as well as getting him connections and experiences that help them later on. ○ In season 3, while the rest of the cast are dealing with the Sparrows, he and Five go on a road trip to Pennsylvania. This fun jaunt leads to the incredibly important revelation that their mothers died before they were born, and the discovery of the Kugelblitz. He later goes on another road trip side plot with Reginald where he actually trains his powers, which allows him to survive the Kugelblitz and reveal Reginald’s actions to everyone in the Hotel Oblivion. ○ In season 4, Klaus… gets kidnapped by a gang he owes money to and gets spiritually and physically whored out to people. He manages to escape by himself, is almost immediately found by the gang again, gets buried alive and left to die over and over again (incredibly similar trauma to the mausoleum that isn’t addressed), and is rescued by Allison and Claire. He gains nothing from this except for more trauma. It’s not plot relevant, he doesn’t learn anything or gain any new skills from it, and he doesn’t even get the money he dug up. It’s mind boggling how many plot irrelevant things got squeezed into the final season when the runtime was cut in half. I’d argue that maybe it would all be worth it if they included the cut scene where Klaus goes to an AA meeting.

Not the fault of the show, probably, but the captions weren’t always accurate.

Lila and Five romance which is gross both in-universe and between actors. Not to mention how allonormative it is that Five “had to have a love story,” because the show was already a familial love story. I really don't believe Five and Lila would get together, but even if they did, they would both drop it the moment they got back to their family.

○ I believe that they would grow very close, especially when they’re the only people together. It’s like a diet apocalypse (I’ll get back to this point later), so it makes sense that they’d grow closer on top of the relationship they had based on their established similar backstories and traumas. ○ Five would NEVER give up on finding his family. It’s his main motivation, the very core of his character. Would he want to take a break after 6 ½ years on top of his 45 previous years being stuck? Absolutely, that’s entirely plausible, but he’d want to leave the second he found the journal. ○ Five loves his family, full stop. He’d NEVER hate Diego for his reaction to getting cheated on, and he’d never want to “fucking kill him.” Have we forgotten how a young Five tried to shake Diego’s corpse awake when he first got to the apocalypse? ○ On top of it all, he would never just abandon everyone like that and fuck off to another timeline, and especially not because he got dumped.

I wish the show focused more on how visiting the apocalypse and getting stuck on in the subway would dredge up old memories for Five. He had a whole PTSD attack in season 1 and freaked out hard. I know it’s been a few years for him, but seeing any kind of reaction besides mild concern would have been nice. Same with Klaus and getting buried alive. I didn’t even know that he was dying over and over until I watched the cut AA scene. Robert Sheehan has so much range and I wish they let him shine in that more serious moment on top of how well he does the comedic stuff.

I get that Random Fire Boy from the Phoenix Academy timeline was likely just another one of the October 1st kids, but why create a whole new guy for just that scene? Why not use one of the other established Umbrellas or Sparrows to shoot an attack that took 2 seconds of screen time?

The CGI was bad ngl. I thought it looked worse than usual last season, but this was. Not good.

The final fight with the big glob monster felt kind of disjointed and awkward, both with the pacing, visuals, and dialogue.

Incredibly sad that Ben (and Jennifer, but we didn’t get enough time to really bond with her) died so horrifically. He died scared and alone, never having fully connected with the Umbrellas who only ever saw him as a replacement for their own dead brother.

The fact that there wasn’t a dance sequence this season is really telling. Someone online proposed the idea that they should have danced as they waited to die, and I think that would have been great. The soundtrack did use another version of “I Think We’re Alone Now” for the final scene, but I think this part would have benefited more. Five and Lila would get to join in, and it’d be nice because they weren’t alone anymore. Even if they were going to die, they’d be together. It would have added more sweetness to a bittersweet ending.

The Diego fat jokes weren’t funny. Fatphobia isn’t funny. He also isn’t fat??? He’s really fucking muscular as shown by him going shirtless in the CIA fight (the Marvel dehydrate+flex method strikes again). Maybe he gained some weight since previous seasons but not to an unhealthy degree. He’s a suburban father of 3 who sits in a van all day to deliver packages, of course he’s not as active as he used to be when he was a crime fighting vigilante.

They also never name Diego and Lila’s third child despite them being so important to Lila and why she chooses her family over her affair. Grace as their first daughter is sweet (Diego was a mama’s boy to the end), then Coco is nice (Spanish name like Diego’s), and then there’s Coco’s unnamed twin. It would have been nice to give them a more traditionally Punjabi name to even it out, or show interesting character psychology for Lila if they were named after someone like The Handler or AJ.

No Pogo except in a flashback? The gang that held Klaus hostage were the Mothers of Agony, so I thought he would be there and maybe help Klaus escape. I guess if Reginald had his wife and never made the Umbrella Academy, he wouldn’t have done the experiments that made Pogo into what he is? That either adds to how awful Reginald is, or it’s just another plot hole.

That whole vomit scene. Bad and Not Funny.

Baby shark was funny at first but got old and cringe incredibly fast.

Things I DO like about it because I want to stay at least a little positive

(It’s not in the show but conceptually, with Allison’s new powers, she could tell someone to kill themselves and they just would which is a funny visual)

The family photo was cute, I love looking at everyone’s individual reactions.

The episode 4 flashback sequence was great.

○ Good casting for the young versions of characters. ○ I love that it showed how close Viktor and Ben were as kids. It’s always been a strong headcanon within the fandom but I don’t know if it’s ever been established on screen before (besides Ben’s sacrifice in season 2). ○ POGO!!!!! ○ Ben said fuck!!!!! ○ Holy SHIT very good reveal of Ben’s death. It was super shocking and unexpected, and the fact that it was a big mystery for so long and ended up being something so simple really added to the tragedy.

Allison throwing a plate at Reggie lmao.

Viktor standing up to Reginald!!! Let it out king!!! And I love that his outburst shows even more how close he and Ben used to be.

Diego and Luther’s dumbassery, I love them so much. The two halves of a whole idiot are BACK. They’re besties and I love it.

Diego learned Punjabi for Lila and her family!!!!! That’s so fucking sweet of him!!!!!!

The soundtrack, as always, was a banger.

Most of the fight scenes are great, either hilarious or incredibly violent or a mix of both.

Hargreeves being an abusive father but not a transphobic one lmao.

I still love the umbrella shapes at the beginning of every episode, and the final one being inverted was sick.

I wasn’t sure about Gene and Jean at first but I love them. Great casting choices, great performances, they felt very reminiscent of the weird and unique aesthetic of season 1 that I’ve been missing.

Diego calling Five “Cinco” was so cute. Too bad this horrible version of Five didn’t deserve it.

I do like how Viktor and Reginald were paired up together when they had the most strained relationship at the start of the show. It felt like a sign that Viktor was stronger now and had been able to recover enough to do so.

○ I understand where people are coming from that it feels too much like forgiving Reginald and absolving him of all his abuse. But also, this is the show that forgets about all the bad things a character has done between seasons, let alone between several. Viktor slashed open Allison’s throat? Water under the bridge. Luther locked Viktor in the same chamber that Reginald did and gave him a mental breakdown? Forgiven and forgotten. Allison’s sexual assault on Luther? To them it’s been 5–6 years so he’s had time to process it but still, never brought up again. I’m not excusing these writing choices, just establishing that it’s been a pattern. At the very least, this one felt like there was closure because Viktor actually got to stand up for himself and his siblings.

They finally wrapped up the plot thread of Five creating the commission, even if it was just delegated to a throwaway line. The fact that they addressed it at all was satisfying enough to me, especially in comparison to everything else.

It’s a blink-and-you’ll- miss-it moment, but Five protected Luther’s head from bullets when the van was getting shot at. So funny that he keeps trying to use his small body to protect the actual tank that is Luther.

○ It’s similar to the scene in season 2 where Five (prepubescent body) pushes Luther (bulletproof ape body) out of the way of falling bricks and gets crushed. Luther is canonically bulletproof (maybe not in the head?) and Five KNOWS this because he saw him get shot by a tank in 1963. ○ Thank god at least SOME part of his love for his family and protective instincts survived this season’s character assassination.

I like that the final scene of them all in a circle kind of mimics the ending of season 1 (even if I wish it was a dance sequence instead).

I liked that the ending showed other characters getting to have normal lives (The Swedes, Hazel and Agnes, Grace (even though that doesn’t make sense), The Handler, Dot and Herb, etc). If it had to end in a bitter way, I like that we got even this small comfort.

TLDR

Overall, while the season wasn’t entirely unbearable to watch, the small, momentary Pros are heavily outweighed by the Cons that either break the show’s logic, assassinate the characters, or are storytelling choices that leave longtime fans like myself dissatisfied.

3.65/10

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

TUA Tumblr Simulator pt. 2

Find more here: pt. 1

—

💩is-reginald-hargreeves-dead-now Follow

10/01/2007

NO

💩is-reginald-hargreeves-dead-now Follow

21/03/2019

YES, HE'S DEAD NOW!!!

938,649 notes

🤲health-and-goodness Follow

RIP Sir Reginald Hargreeves

🌄chanceschances Follow

HA, no

FUCK Reginald Hargreeves, all my homies HATE Reginald Hargreeves

256,803 notes

🏰study-hall-monitor Follow

Wait, how old is Reginald Hargreeves? Did he not age? Seriously, look at this photo from 2002 and look at this photo from this year

🦕dino-nuggiez Follow

If you were on Facebook, they'd say he was a lizard person

🐊florida-shaped-being Follow

Fortunately, we're on Tumblr

Which means that people will say he's a crab person

🎃helloqueen Follow

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

🍁chaos-is-my-peanutbutter Follow

You fools

OBVIOUSLY he's an alien

👾codey-for-everyone Follow

Wait. Omg. It makes sense!

It would also explain their powers, think about it!

You're an absolute genius, I can't believe no one has ever thought about that before!

🍁chaos-is-my-peanutbutter Follow

Lmao I think you're taking this too seriously buddy

🖍️memecent-van-go Follow

You are ALL wrong

He is actually created in a lab by the government and they said he "died" to surprise us with the biggest April Fool's prank in the history of mankind next week

498,737 notes

🪩 traumallama Follow

Congratulations to all the Hargreeves siblings, I am very happy for you. May you lead a very peaceful and cheerful life now that your dickhead father is gone

🌌 jupiters-moons Follow

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

🌨️ twirlingandwhirling Follow

I just feel bad for The Séance. Wouldn't like to have my abusive dad following me around

👥 lurkeringlurrlurr Follow

By that logic his dead brother, The Horror, would also be following him around

🌌 jupiters-moons Follow

Their names are Klaus and Ben.

🚵 rolly-molly Follow

Can we go back to The Séance thing? I mean, his power is that he can see ghosts iirc, who is to say he can't see Ben? (Also, seriously, The Horror? That must be so bad for a child)

👥 lurkeringlurrlurr Follow

Sure, I guess it wouldn't be impossible

But if *I* had my dead brother following me around all the time, I think I'd lose my sanity

9,734 notes

🪷sweet-sweet-sweeter Follow

Why Reginald Hargreeves kinda hot ngl

🥐food-up-with-this-croissant Follow

Dude, he JUST died

🪷sweet-sweet-sweeter Follow

What? I like old guys!

🌾crying-in-bed Follow

Tumblr user not simping over a white rich dude challenge: FAILED ❌

👾codey-for-everyone Follow

Also he's probably an alien

🪷sweet-sweet-sweeter Follow

Even better for the monsterfuckers

🐍nessiesmuse Follow

The monsterfuckers don't want him either

💟singthissong Follow

Abi, I say this as your friend, your mutual...

Get a better taste in men

🪷sweet-sweet-sweeter Follow

Maybe when I can afford rent, food and bills with one job I will

5,679 notes

☂️brellies-fan Follow

Is that Number Five, aka, The Boy, the one who disappeared 17 years ago?! Why does he still look like 13!? What's happening?!

1,139,580 notes

[rainy-day707]

Mute Allison Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy AU)

I was rewatching Season 1 and reached the episode where Viktor(at the time going by Vanya) accidentally slit Allison’s throat. when she recovered, Luther said she shouldn’t use her vocal chords for the time being as to prevent further damage. For the rest of Season 1, Allison uses a notepad to communicate with the family. But then my HOH brain had a thought, what if she stayed mute and had to use ASL to communicate?

“How would she know ASL?” you may ask. I have a few hypotheticals.

1. Reginald had all the Hargreeves children learn ASL. Maybe he wanted them to know it in the event of deaf hostages, maybe to practice hand coordination, or effective communication in stealth missions, etc.

2. Grace taught them all sign language. In one of my ASL classes, there was a guy who had a pretty bad stutter. He was going through speech therapy but he still wanted to learn another form of communication that wasn’t writing. I mention him because diego had a stutter as a kid, maybe Grace taught him sign language so he could communicate when speaking got too hard. She taught the rest of the family so they could understand him. Although I imagine Reginald would be too stubborn to learn

3. Allison learned ASL for a role

“Would she still be able to rumor people?”

Aside from the mental block/morals she has around her powers, I say yes. Despite the fact her powers are shown to come from her mouth, I’d say in this AU, her powers come from her head rather than her vocal chords. ASL is just another language, I think as long as she can sign “I heard a rumor”, she can still use her powers.*

Also I think she could rumor people who don’t know ASL. At the beginning of Season 2, she says “I heard a rumor, that I blew your minds” to Soviet soldiers (who presumably don’t speak English) and their heads blew up.

“What if the rest of the Hargreeves family doesn’t know ASL?”

Well if I was Allison I’d rumor them into understanding ASL. (kidding, but lord knows I wish I could rumor my family members into spontaneously being fluent in ASL.) However I believe the Hargreeves family would learn ASL. (I know they barely hang out as a family even after s1 and they die in s4 but let a boy dream)

- I think Five would know from reading books during the apocalypse and his time in the commission.

- Luther and Viktor don’t know anything but are most willing to learn.

- Diego learned the basics years ago(during his time in the police academy, or after he saved a deaf mugging-victim) but is now brushing up on it.

- Klaus barely knows and ghost-Ben is basically fluent. Ghost-Ben acts as his invisible interpreter while Klaus is learning.

Theres a separate story to be had about the Hargreeves family learning ASL and miscommunicating with each other in sign. Because it wouldn’t be the Hargreeves family without a healthy dose of miscommunication.

*note: ASL is a more direct language than english. It gets the point across quicker. Ex: In english you would say “how tall are you?” in ASL it would be “you how-tall?”

TDLR: local tumblr user obsessed with projecting himself onto fictional characters makes an AU where the main characters use ASL…again.

[minnielvrr]

Day 6: Creak

Lee: Hyunjin Ler: Felix Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: i hope you guys like this🥺💖 thank you guys so much for your support these past few days, it means a lot to me🫂🥰💞

Tags: @itzsana-kiddingmenow, @lajanaa, @bbybumblelee, @hearted-anon, @lunalattae,

@reginald-stay09, @jungwon-is-the-one

Creak. Hyunjin's body stiffened, cursing the stupid floorboards for being so loud. He paused, listening for any sound, anything to indicate that whatever Jisung had told him was here, hadn't heard him.

The stairs remained quiet and seemingly un-haunted, so with a gulp and some prayers, he took another slow step forward. But after exploring 3 dusty rooms and a sad looking bathroom, Hyunjin finally stepped out.

He took a deep breath of fresh air, sighing in relief. He was safe. So, with a smile curling his lips at the thought of proving just that to his very cocky friend, Hyunjin found himself lost in minutes.

It didn’t make sense. He’d followed the same trail back, so why was he circling back to the entrance again?

A sinking sense of unease settled over him and Hyunjin looked around cautiously as he once more started on the path.

Third times the charm, he convinced himself, but once again, he stood at the entrance of the building.

The sun was still high above him, which was the only thing keeping him from having a panic attack right then and there.

Why on earth bad he taken this trip alone. Proving Jisung wrong was starting to seem like a foolish and immature idea.

He should really have thought this through. Scared and frustrated he was about to see if he could call someone when the device was yanked from his hand by a gust of wind.

It dangled in the air, a whole foot out of reach. He stared at it, frozen. He didn't dare even turn his head to look around.

"Please...," he breathed to no one in particular, pleas and prayers leaving his lips a mile a minute as he squeezed his eyes shut and clasped his hands tight.

He was going to die here, wasn't he? The sinking feeling in his gut intensified, so much so that he found himself hyperventilating.

Oh gods, he was on the verge of having a panic attack. But before his mind could begin to fully process his situation, soft, warm…hands? cupped his cheeks and a deep, gentle voice spoke.

"Deep breaths. You're going to be okay. Please open your eyes. I'm not here to hurt you."

And against all his instincts, Hyunjin shakily opened on eye, the other following soon after when he saw the beautiful boy in front of him.

He had sky blue eyes and raven locks that framed his face beautifully. His pointed ears peaked from the sides of his face and when he smiled at Hyunjin, the world seemed to brighten a little.

The boy’s dark beauty held Hyunjin in a daze, but doubt still flickered in his chest. Could he really trust this stranger?

Yet the warmth in his eyes and the soft words melted away his worries, bit by bit.

Hyunjin listened to the strange boy, following his breathing until it matched the others’. But he still felt the remnants of panic clutching at his chest.

He stared at the boy in front of him, unsure whether to feel relieved or wary. His heart skipped as a playful smile grew on the boy’s face, and before Hyunjin could question what it meant, he was whisked away.

Before Hyunjin could question the smile, the world around him shifted as though Felix had folded the very air.

Colors blurred, the scenery bent in a dizzying display and when everything refocused, Hyunjin found himself standing in a different part of the forest.

Trees surrounded them and he saw Felix standing a few feet away in a pool of sunlight.

The younger hurried over to him , though, when he realized Hyunjin’s dazed state.

“Hey, hey, hey. Sorry, did that startle you?” The elf giggled, the sweet sound bringing about a small smile on Hyunjin’s own face.

“A little,” he admitted, then the racing thoughts in his mind exploded in a single question, “…um, who are you?”

“I’m Felix! I’m an elf.” The younger replied, excitedly. He looked curiously at Hyunjin, waiting for what he realized was his own introduction.

“I’m Hyunjin. It’s nice to meet you, Felix.” The boy beamed when Hyunjin used his name, eyes crinkling as he did a little hop of joy.

“Hyunjin… that’s a beautiful name, fit for such a beautiful human.” He said, matter of fact.

He watched in fascination when Hyunjin blushed shyly, rubbing his neck and muttering out embarrassed ‘no’s and pleased ‘thank you’s.

“I see your still a little nervous,” the little elf noted with a smirk, leaning closer to the human. “I can help with that.”

And before Hyunjin could ask what he meant; a soft, ticklish sensation danced across his skin.

The taller recoiled, swatting at his sides where the tingly feelings were most concentrated. But try as he might, it didn’t do anything to help.

His eyes snapped pleadingly to the amused elf, giggles spilling from his lips as he stumbled and fell back.

Felix caught him easily, waving his hands to create a cotton like bed of fluff that he laid the ticklish boy on.

“Nahahaha whahahat ihihis thihihis?!” He squealed, writhing on the soft material as the elf enjoyed his suffering.

Suddenly, many little fairy helpers fluttered around, their mischievous grins matching Felix's as they prepared their magic.

"Hm you're so...ticklish Hyunjinnie" The elf boy observed, eyes keen and curious as he reached forward and raked his hand down Hyunjin's abs.

The taller squealed, twisting away from the sensation. Amusement brimmed in Lixie's expression, his demeanor shifting from meek curiosity to playfulness as he instructed the flowers to wiggle faster at Hyunjin's sides and armpits, his pinned hands writhing in their tree root prison.

"Fehehehelix plehehehease!" He begged through helpless laughter when everything intensified, but it only made the elf smirk mischievously.

"Our names are a powerful thing Jinnie~ You shouldn't use it so brazenly. I suppose a little punishment is in order, don't you agree?" He crooned, his hands moving to Hyunjin's hips and playing it like a harp.

No matter which way Hyunjin turned, Felix seemed to find a new spot to replace the old, the tickling continuing.

“Plehehehehease!! Ohohoho myhyhy gahAHAHAHAD!! I CAHAHAHAN’T TAHAHAKE IHIHIT!!”

Lix giggled at his shrieky laughter, “I can see that. Are you always this squirmy when you’re tickled, Jinnie? Or am I doing an especially good job?”

It brought back, unnecessarily flustering memories of Jisung tickling him without mercy, using any excuse he could find to squeeze out every last giggle from Hyunjin’s lips.

Felix’s teasing caused a dark pink hue to paint the older’s face, Hyunjin barely yelping out a frantic, “shuHUHut uhuHUHUP!!” before dissolving into full blown laughter.

He felt light headed from the sensations, his body melting into a pile of mush between the ceaseless triad.

The dust and fairy wings fluttering at his neck and ears, the flowers pacing all over his torso and finally, Felix torturously dexterous fingers wreaking havoc on every sensitive inch of his body.

Hyunjin couldn’t believe how quickly the terror had transformed into this bizarre, ticklish torment.

His mind scrambled to make sense of the situation, but all he could do was laugh helplessly as Felix's fingers found every sensitive spot.

“FeheheheliHIHIX PLEHEHEHEASE!! IHIHIHIT THIHIHICKLES!!” Hyunjin wailed breathlessly.

“Hmm…” Felix gazed at the adorable mess contemplatively, then snapped his fingers with a wicked grin.

 Flowers dancing across his skin, their petals teasing and wiggling as they went Felix crouched by his side, giggling softly while he watched Hyunjin squirming on the forest floor.

“Tell me Jinnie, do you still feel scared?” Felix cooed, leaning close.

“Ahahahall ihi feeheeheel ihis tihihICKLING!! shihiHIHIT IHIHIT’S SOHOho bahahahad.”

Felix snickered at his pleas, trailing his fingers gently over Hyunjin’s abdomen one last time before letting up.

As Hyunjin’s laughter began to subside, he lay there panting, barely able to process how his fear had transformed into something so playful and strange.

How was he supposed to explain this to anyone? Not even Jisung would believe him.

He’d probably tease Hyunjin even more, telling him he’d been craving tickles so much he’d actually fallen asleep in a forest to dream it.

“If you need me, you know where to find me,” Felix told him with a smile that contained in it, endless mischief.

Then he snapped his fingers again, this time, leaving Hyunjin right in front of his dorm.

He blinked, wondering how Lix knew but he decided to save the questions for when he would visit the younger.

With a giddy smile, he opened the door to his home and was immediately startled by a familiar, loud voice.

“Holy shit Jinnie where were you?! I was about to call the police!”

Jisung threw his arms around the older in a tight embrace and Hyunjin could only blush, utterly flustered as he told Sungie about how he got lost but found his way back with the help of… a friend.

“You’re acting strange… You look like you do whenever I absolutely wreck you.” The quokka remarked with a smirk.

Hyunjin’s face was flaming as he tried to think of anything but the way Felix’s hands had only minutes ago been wiggling and kneading his sides.

Han gave him a suspicious look but didn’t press, simply bringing over some food and drinks for Hyunjin to eat.

Each week, Hyunjin found himself drawn back to the enchanted forest. It was strange, almost embarrassing to admit, but part of him was excited to see what new tricks Felix had in store.

And after a few times, he even got a chance to tickle Felix, using his own techniques and playful little friends. Turns out, he was just as sensitive as Hyunjin was.

[beah388love]

Conditions

18+ Minors DNI!!!

Full Masterlist Legend Masterlist

Pairing: Reggie Kray x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reggie asks you to be his girlfriend but you have some conditions…

Warnings: swearing,bad language,tiny mention of sex and kissing!!! (please tell me if I missed any!!!)

Reggie walked down Macclesfield road, until he reached the house with a red door, with number 41 in gold.

He walked up to the door and knocked.

"Y/n! There's someone at the do'er!" A young boy shouted.

"Okay hang on.." Y/n spoke as she quickly hurried to the door and opened it.

"Mr.Kray..My brothers aren't i-" she was speaking but got cut off by Reggie.

"I-I'm not here for your brothers" Reggie said and she smiled.

"Who are you here for then?" She asked playfully.

"Actually, I'm here for you...Go out with me Saturday night?" Reggie smirked.

"Can't" she shook her head smiling.

"Alright then I'll see y'a- You can't?" Reggie spoke and she nodded.

"Sorry reg, I'm looking after my nieces and nephews"  she smiled lightly as she bit her bottom lip.

"When are you free?" He asked and she paused for a minute.

"Sunday 7:30 sharp" she smirked and he nodded with a smirk.

"Y/n! Wat are y'a doin talkin to a man at the door, your supposed to be makin dinna?" Dolly spat at y/n but she ignored her.

"7:30 sharp" Reggie smiled and she nodded with a smile before she left the door and went into the kitchen once again with a little boy with her.

"Who's he?" He whispered to her and she giggled.

"That's Reggie Kray" she whispered back and the boy gasped and looked behind him to look at Reggie Kray once more and Reggie smiled at him, the little boy, Anthony quickly ran away to y/n.

Dolly gave Reggie a rude look and Reggie devilishly smirked at her and she rolled her eyes and slammed the door in his face.

——

The next day, Saturday..the day before Reggie and y/n’s date, Reggie went over to her house..with a bag of jolly ranchers he got for her, he knocked on the door and dolly didn't answer it so he grabbed one of the ranchers and chucked it at her bedroom window.

She was confused to what it was so she quickly opened her window and leaned outside to see Reggie standing there with an orchid and some jolly ranchers.

"Y/n" he smiled and she rolled her eyes playfully.

"Reginald" she smirked.

"Why are you throwing sweets at my window?" She smiled confused and he shook his head.

"Dolly won't answer the door" he explained and she laughed.

"I've got a present for you" he as he gestured to the door for her to open it and she shook her head.

"Nope" she smiled and he chuckled.

"I ain't goin through that door" he said and she shrugged her shoulders playfully.

"God your somethin else" he muttered as he then grabbed her orchid in his hand and shoved the jolly ranchers into his blazer pocket.

He began climbing the pipe up her window.

She gave him a kiss on the cheek and took the jolly rancher from his mouth.

"Cheeky" he smirked.

"I got you a present" he spoke as he took out a little closed box.

She looked at him confused and opened it.

A beautiful silver diamond necklace.

"Y/n Nash, will you be my girlfriend?" Reggie asked her softly.

"On one condition, No sex for the first month" she said and he looked at her confused trying to read her expression.

"Of course, May I ask why?" He said and she nodded.

"That's what my dads taught me and I’m not going to be one of your show women" she said and he nodded.

"Right Well then,My beautiful sassy girlfriend, I will see you tomorrow for our date" he smiled and she nodded.

"See you 7:30 sharp" she smiled and he nodded before he left her window and waved her a goodbye before walking away.

[burningmoonus]

TUA SPOILERS!!!

Sorry for the mistakes. I'm half asleep

Boy oh boy.

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Now that was ....something. actors did they job kudos to them. But goddammit. Whoever wrote the script...I'm under your bed, watch out.

Starting off strong, the first thing that threw me off was a time jump. If it's done properly, it works just fine. You can't just give me a recap of season 3 finale and then BOOM 6 years later with no explanation or whatever. And that little introduction into character's lives now is not it.

You need to do more than that. Because it creates some plot holes and not just some.... Big plot holes.

Like what happened to Sloane? How did our characters got to where they now? And why some of them act the way that they act.

Why do I have to think of it? I'm a watcher I wanna WATCH it.

The scene with Allison where she's like 'oh they probably hate me for what I did, I can't go in blah blah...' this scene pissed me off.

Yeah I know we had SIX year gap from the last season, but Jesus christ, you can't just take away someone's superpowers and then write your character's as If they ok with it. That doesn't make any sense.

Luther and Sloane. So you telling me that Luther found the love of his life MARRIED her, and then she disappeared and what? He's not looking for her? Just a brief moment about her wasn't enough. He finally found someone who loved him no matter what, and then she was taken away, and that's it?

The Klaus plot line is useless and tiresome. Instead of making his character go through some development as he gains his power back, the writers just make him go back to his antics ? Drinking stealing, etc.... like that's boring. I was skipping almost all of his scenes. And he's my favorite character, mind you.

Five and Lila. I don't want to comment. Just gross. And annoying.

Lila annoyed me this season a lot.

Yeah, you hate your family, I get it It happens.

But Jesus, why don't you talk to Diego about what you feeling? And the book club/keepers meetings? Of course Diego would think that you'd cheat on him. Instead of hiding things try talking about them.

Five was kinda useless this season. All he did is said that we all must die. Yeah he tried to work things about Ben/Jennifer but instead of finding the solution he started sleeping with Lila. Yikes and then he didn't wanna leave back to the present days; and wanted Lila to stay with him when she has a whole ass family with 3 kids????

Ben and Jennifer....well at least they went with a bang(get it?...cause the reason they gone was because they started to bang each other. sorry that was a stupid joke)

I did NOT feel bad about Jennifer...bc I didn't feel the connection to her, that's bc she was written badly she was kinda bland, and I'm sorry.

Why Ben was the only one who was destined for whatever this was? Why wasn't it someone else?Just bc he died saving her? And don't give me this soulmates bullshit or fate shit! It doesn't make sense.

You telling me that when I just got Ben back you taking him away????

Out of all characters I liked Reginald the most.

And that should tell you have little the writers cared about these characters.

The amount of plot holes and some stupid nonsense is the reason why I haven't seen 1 positive feedback about this season.