#background nurseydex

[atlasthemayor]

(I may have to make a specific tag for these frogs comics later)

The dialogue is from a convo a friend's friend had with their bf

My friend told me it was peak nurseydex, and tbh she was RIGHT

[talentpiper11]

Hey y'all! I have written, and am in the process of posting, my first fic! It's a NurseyDex time loop fic in the same universe as @larkral 's incredible fic, Friday Prime (which can be found here and is a great read).

I've got the first three chapters of my work, Square One, posted, and since they're all written, I'll be posting them once a day in the early afternoon. Please enjoy!

[elisela]

happy un-iversary nurseydex au, fluff, established relationship. for @missanniewhimsy

Will is not the flowers, chocolate, and wine celebration person. His eighth grade girlfriend had broken up with him tearfully after he laughed when she wished him a happy one month anniversary, his first boyfriend hadn’t even made it to a year. He thinks he got concert tickets that year for Jason’s birthday but his memory is fuzzy; whatever it was, it wasn’t something he had put a lot of thought into. That’s not to say he’s not sentimental in other ways—he still carries the torn piece of paper with Chowder’s barely legible IOU HALF OF ONE MEDIUM PIZZA AND 2 CHEAP BEERS JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU PETTY LOSER scrawled on it from their first month of college just because it makes him smile, snaps photos of flowers growing through concrete cracks to text because Jack once told him—while drunk off his ass—that he thought they were all beautiful. 

Unfortunately, Derek is the flowers, chocolate, and wine person. On Will’s last birthday he came home to take-out—only plated nicely, two tall candles burning in the middle of the table, soft music playing in the background. The only wine Will has ever enjoyed was chilling in an ice bucket that he hadn’t even known they owned, the fancy extra-dark chocolates he didn’t like but had once complimented Bitty on sitting in a wrapped box on the island.

So it should say something that Will is standing in the floral section of the grocery store an hour before they close, trying his best to pick out a bouquet that says happy anniversary and these are not last minute flowers. 

They’re all a little wilted, so it’s not exactly working.

Will’s hoping it’s the thought that counts.

But Derek frowns when he walks in their door, his gaze darting from the flowers to the caramels from the confectionary in Old Town that Will’s seen him demolish a dozen of in the space of two minutes. “Uh,” he says, brow furrowing. “What’d you do?”

Of the two of them, Will would have bet money that he’d be the first to forget an important date. “Nothing,” he says, a flare of defensiveness coming before he takes a breath and tries again. “Happy anniversary.”

It’s funny, the way panic flashes across Derek’s face before it settles back into faint confusion. “Our anniversary is next month.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Will. Our anniversary is May 8th.”

“It’s April 6th,” Will says, flowers now pointing towards the ground as he gestures pointlessly with his arm. “How could you think it was May 8th?”

“How could you think it was April 6th?” Derek asks, and he takes the flowers right out of Will’s hand as Will stares at him.

“Because that was the Rocket’s home opener,” Will says, also handing over the caramels. He had to go forty minutes out of his way for those and a small part of him wants a tiny bit of praise for it. 

Derek mouths at him wordlessly for a moment. It would make a hilarious picture, the way he stands there cradling the flowers and candy gently while looking dumbfounded, if Will weren’t so bemused about the whole thing. “We—the—what—that wasn’t our first date! We weren’t dating!”

“We weren’t until we went to the game together,” Will responds.

“We went to the game together because you thought it’d be a good idea to get season tickets!” Derek shoots back. “Our first date was at the Mexican restaurant and you changed the five to an eight on the inflatable Cinco de Mayo sombrero and made me wear it all night.”

Will stares at him. “We’d already been dating for weeks. I asked you out weeks before that.”

Derek’s eyes narrow almost imperceptibly. “I asked you out.”

Because Will can’t strangle his boyfriend—of exactly one year, thank you very much—he kisses him instead, curling his hands into Derek’s hips and pulling him close, curling awkwardly around the flowers he’s still holding. “Happy,” he says pointedly, “anniversary.”

Derek kisses him back, soft and sweet and a little self-satisfied. “Thanks for the flowers,” he says, and Will can feel him smirk. "Happy un-iversary.”

[thoughtsofthegirlwiththecurl]

Fic Rec Friday

This week's theme: Rec a fic that starts with the same letter as your username (or, if you like, a part of your username) The rules: Tag a fic that starts with the same letter as your username and describe why it's so good / how it has a hold on you. Then tag some people to see what everyone else is reading. Spread the love! Also, she'll do the round up on Sunday, so if you're still recc-ing on Saturday, no pressure! Please tag @welcometololaland or tag #fic rec friday so she can compile the masterlist.

thanks for the tag @cricketnationrise

Check Please

Theatre Building, Dec. 6 by @cricketnationrise; Ford my absolute beloved! She's my favorite! And theatre! And like I'm fully biased because this was my prompt but it's so *chef's kiss*

There Have Been Five Kisses by @cricketnationrise; nurseydex 5+1 kisses, need I say more? nope you've already clicked through

Red, White, and Royal Blue

The Royal Wedding Stylist Breaks Down Prince Henry & Duke Alex Claremont-Diaz's Looks by th0ughts; are you sensing a pattern and the pattern is that I'm a former costumer rolling around in any theatre/costume adjacent fics? You'd be correct. This technically breaks the rule I set for myself of not allowing fics that start with "The" but I love it so much??? Do yourself a favor and read the whole series. Exactly what it says on the tin.

Stranger Things

takes a village by alchemystique; It's Buckingham, it's background Steddie, it's a modern AU, Chrissy has a really cute and precocious 4-year-old, it's all the found family feels, it's a treat

took you for a working boy by pukner; pukner manages to simultaneously write the most profoundly moving and gut-busting hysterical fics. Also anytime anyone says "you can't make that character trans" I read 5 more fics where the author makes a character trans. I'm fueled by spite and you're only making me more powerful.

Good Omens

Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life Too by @thebibliosphere; Have we all read it and loved it already? Don't care, still lovely, and with season 2 of the show coming up, well worth a revisit. Joy has a Pratchettesque style to begin with, which just makes it even better.

Star Wars (sequel trilogy)

Tomorrow (there'll be more of us) by dirmircharmer; someone on here was recently complaining that the movies didn't do enough with Finn defecting and the ways that could have led other Stormtroppers to as well. This fills that gap; also check out all the related fic at the bottom of it for more.

MCU

take it or leave it by kellifer_fic; The year was two thousand and a number I shan't say so I don't have to confront the passage of time. Everything was great, I still had faith in humanity, the MCU had not yet completely shit the bed and absolutely exhausted my patience. This is Clint x Darcy, which is not everyone's cup of tea, but mostly it's a very funny story about superheros attempting to lay low as normal people and mostly being pretty bad at it.

i'm tagging: @vhenadahls @appalamutte @starthecozy @dancemakestheworldgoround @zimmerdouche

[freckliedan]

@slitsfordan oh NO don't get it twisted there's a zero percent chance it's rebranded phanfiction. ngozi is a genius who hit romcom beats incredibly well; that has nothing to do with the fact that dan and phil happen to be living one.

i'm just good at pitching things and i'm highlighting the details that i know will appeal to phannies. these characters have friends 🙊

there's literally at least six other romance plotlines of various flavors happening in the background or that happened precanon. and they will never get elaborated on or concluded because the focus is the main character & his relationship so the comic cuts off when he graduates college.

more of you motherfuckers should be into check please. by the way

[omgzineplease]

Fast Facts:

Hellooooo, Fandomland. This is FFR, and I’m a Midwestern Millennial who’s one of the admins.

I started reading Check Please! at the end of 2016 but got truly active in the fandom midway through 2017.

What do I like outside this fandom? Pretty much anything under the Disney umbrella. Sci-fi and fantasy lit and cinema. Comics and manga. Photography, gardening, and doodling. Traveling in general. Nature. History and culture. Architecture, fine arts, and textiles. Analyzing current events and sociopolitics. And food… all the food.

About Me:

Check Please! is not the first fandom I got involved in, but it’s probably the most long-standing fandom I’ve consistently engaged with. It’s a testament to the power of that comic.

Those who know me or have seen my content probably know or can infer that my favorite character is Dex. Nursey is a close second, and I get a kick out of making exceedingly indulgent* hcs for the Frogs’ backgrounds in general (it legit varies on my mood which family I enjoy hc-ing more, since they emphasize different interests of mine)

So many of those hcs and worldbuilding will probably never be realized into fic or even a post, but I’m always happy to infodump if prompted.

*I am a full adherent of the “anything that doesn’t contradict the explicit text in a work is capable of being canon-compliant” school of thought, and I’m so thankful (esp as one who indulges in Nurseydex) that Ngozi deliberately leaves her comic open-ended beyond Bitty.

Fun Fact:

As a sports photographer, the irony is not only that hockey’s the one team sport I don’t get bored of if I’m not shooting it… but I have yet to properly photograph a hockey game.

Things that I Think Would be Cool in the Zine:

● Nurseydex, naturally.

● Platonic relationships and explorations of characters’ families.

● And of course, good art in general. This fandom is legit such a wellspring of artistic eye

and skill.

[transwicky]

Y'all I read a NurseyDex fic where one of the background tidbits was that Jack and Bitty did marriage paperwork so Bitty could get into Canada easily for the holidays, and the SMH chat absolutely WRECKED them, and Shitty was OFFENDED. Like downright furious and offended and hurt.

And then Bitty was offended that Shitty thought he would NOT have a party about his marriage, it just had to wait until the summer!!

And Nursey and Dex were just. Laughing hysterically I'm p sure

But yeah anyways Mechanics of Poetry is still a top tier NurseyDex fic

[cricketnationrise]

not a waffle haus

Written for day 2 of Friendship Week! prompt: jerry’s brunch/the waffles @birlcholtz come get your friendship food

_X_

Hops shifted on his feet, silently begging the universe for a break. He’d been looking forward to this Jerry’s trip all day - he deserved this reward after the Most Awful Week Known to Humanity™. He’d thought it was a good sign when his last class let out early. Hops had made his way to put his name down for a table for five and gone to wait outside - it was too nice a day to wait indoors for the others to show up.

Hops had just been standing there, soaking in the sunlight, when he’d felt someone’s eyes on him. When he looked around, there was another guy nearby, watching him. The hostess had told him at least twenty-five minutes for a table; hopefully someone else showed up soon.

waffles + waffle dads

Nursey 📚: yo! Nursey 📚: i’m out of class and headed to Jerry’s now Nursey 📚: anyone else there yet or do i need to get a table?

Thank god.

Hops 🐰: I’m here already Hops 🐰: got on the list

Louis 🇸🇪: omw

Dex 🧰: must the chat be called that? Dex 🧰: I’m coming from all the way across campus so i’ll be at least 15

Louis 🇸🇪: if the toolbox fits…

Nursey 📚: YES 

Bully 🏍️: i’m on my way also! Bully 🏍️: YES

Dex 🧰: i should fine you all.

Nursey 📚: but would you? Nursey 📚: oh captain my captain 😘

“Hey there.”

Hops keeps typing as he looks up and sees Creepy Guy a little closer to him than before.

Louis 🇸🇪: ^^THAT should probably be a fine

Nursey 📚: 🤷yo chill

Hops 🐰: @Nursey if you could be my intimidating older brother like 5 mins ago that would be SUPER

“Hi.”

“Nice day out, isn’t it?”

“Yup.”

“The sunlight really brings out your eyes.”

What the actual fuck.

Nursey 📚: 👀 Nursey 📚: 🏃💨 Nursey 📚: bet

“Um...thanks.”

“Where are you from?”

“Excuse me?”

Louis 🇸🇪: who do i have to kill 🔪🔪🔪

Bully 🏍️: @Louis no murder Bully 🏍️: we don’t have bail money Bully 🏍️: a light maiming tho….

Dex 🧰: @Louis @Bully not even the fine jar has enough despite Jack and Bitty visiting last week Dex 🧰: @Hops hang tight Nursey’s class real close

“Woah, hey, just trying to get to know you a bit, is that a crime now?” the other guy says, hands up defensively.

Hops 🐰: 🧍‍♂️

“I don’t even know your name - and I don’t want to, so don’t take that as an invitation.”

Creepy Guy is a little closer now, still grinning at him.

“C’mon darlin’ I -”

“Jon! How’s my baby brother?!”

Nursey’s here, and doing that thing he’s so good at: being a human wall, protecting his teammates. Hops feels the tension leave him as Nursey grabs him in a hug, still rambling a little about Oh hey, Mom said she sent you something, should arrive tomorrow, how was your class, have you been waiting long?

When Nursey draws back, Hops looks around worriedly, but Creepy Guy is nowhere to be seen. The last bit of tension Hops had has disappeared completely.

“Oh thank god.”

“Yeah he fucked off as soon as I got here,” says Nursey.

“Thanks bro, I probably could have gotten rid of him myself, but it would have taken a lot longer.”

“Sure thing,” Nursey says easily.

“I still appreciate it.”

“Hops, it would be an honor to be your older brother, I’m happy to get that guy to back off.”

“Thanks, Derek.”

“Got your back, Jonathan,” Nursey teases.

“Hops!”

“Holy shit, you okay?”

Bully and Louis were apparently just behind Nursey, and jog across the street to join them, looking worried.

“Yeah I’m okay - just some creep hitting on me, but like, weirdly.”

“Gross. You okay now, conejo?” Bully asks, pulling him into his side. Hops snuggles close.

“I’m okay. Nursey helped.”

“Yeah! The only person allowed to hit on you weirdly is Bully!” says Louis.

“That’s ri - Hey! I hit on him in a completely normal way!”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

“Fuck you Sweden, it worked, we are dating.”

“By the grace of god, because you certainly weren’t smooth about it.”

“That’s it -” Bully moves to try to get Louis into a headlock, but Louis dodges and runs around the group. Bully chases him and Hops and Nursey make eye contact and dissolve into laughter.

“You know, this sort of behavior is why the hockey team gets banned from places,” says Dex. His voice is stern, but he looks mostly amused at their antics.

“You tell ‘em, Dexy,” says Nursey, face lighting up as he looks at Dex.

“Simmer down, lads,” Dex calls over the chaos, “I’ve been looking forward to this all week, I don’t want to get thrown out before we even get inside.”

“Sir yes sir,” Louis and Bully chorus, Louis with a sloppy salute. Bully slings an arm back over Hops’ shoulders. Nice.

“You know about how much longer, Hops?” Nursey asks as he threads his fingers through Dex’s. The tips of Dex’s ears turn pink.

“Table for five for Jonathan?” calls the hostess from the doorway.

“Sick,” says Louis, “Let’s go.”

They all pile inside and Hops is more than content basking in the warmth of his friends’ chatter and teasing. All in all, not a bad end to the week. Not bad at all.

[various-feelings]

[backwardscapsmh]

in this panel, we can see dex in a red backwards cap and nursey in a green cap, but wearing it forwards. green and red are complimentary colors and both are wearing their hats in a different way, thus nursey and dex are being symbolically represented as complimentary opposites. in this essay i will-

[snackzimmerman]

lardo, filming jack and bitty make out for tiktok: bestie vibes only

[alobsterboatofcatholicguilt]

some plot points for an Hallmark Nurseydex AU I don’t have time to write:

so in this AU Dex never went to Samwell, he went to trade school to be a mechanic instead

Dex’s grandma got sick when he was in high school, and his parents work all the time, and so do his uncles, and he KNOWS his older brother won’t help out, and that’s why he puts his hockey and college dreams on the back burner, he has to doesn’t he? (it’s the martyr/victim complex this boy clearly has)

ANYWAY over time he eventually becomes a handyman in the town of Providence since that’s where his grandma has lived for the past few years, since she moved there to be closest to her oldest daughter when she got a divorce and needed someone to help take care of her kids

so Dex lives in Providence, right after Nursey graduates from Samwell. Currently, Nursey has plans for his future but before he gets a Masters or a Doctorate he wants to explore the world a little, get a job, maybe help a friend out. 

So, Nursey now lives in Providence and him and Bitty have a bakery/bookstore called Pies, Pucks, and Poetry. This is a cursed place, Nursey has decided, because everything keeps fucking breaking. 

This is when Dex and Nursey would finally meet. Dex comes in after hours when there are no customers there to look over Bitty’s oven and big industrial fridge and things like that. Dex sees Nursey and is immediately like, “This man is gorgeous.” and Nursey sees Dex and thinks, “This man is repressed.” Both are right.

Dex is over at the bakery about once a week, he figures out something is wrong, has to get a part, has to come back. All the while he is hanging and talking with Bitty and Nursey since the don’t seem to be the kind of person who avoids the handyman at all costs. He learns they went to Samwell and played hockey, which explains the bakery name. They talk more and eventually he offers to start coming in on Saturdays, he days off, as long as Bitty pays him in pies and other baked goods. 

of course Bitty agrees, he loves baking and hates paying for repairs. So now Dex is spending his Saturday nights with Bitty and Derek, and every once in a while the famous Jack Zimmermann. but he usually pops in and leaves with Bitty, leaving Dex and Nursey alone together. They slowly get closer on these Saturday nights and realize they might not have a lot in common but they’re more alike in terms of personality than they think.

Dex has no idea how someone as gorgeous as Nursey could ever be into him and Nursey has no idea Dex is gay. Nursey had come out as bi to Dex early on, but Dex had just nodded and been like “Good for you man.” while internally panicking because he cannot flirt to save his life. 

Eventually some sort of misunderstanding would happen, like maybe another teammate visits and acts really familiar with Nursey and Dex thinks he’s dating him, right as he was about to make his first move. So he leaves flowers for him somewhere he knows he’ll find them, and leaves one of the poetry books Nursey had mentioned offhandedly during one of their conversations and it would show he Truly Knew Him, with a note in the front of the book asking him out.

this one would be resolved by Derek chasing after Dex, finding him at his grandma’s and confessing his love for him, right after that, Dex’s grandma (Nana) would invite Derek in for dinner bc she’d been listening int he entire time 

OR Tango visits and sits with Dex as he fixes something one night, and Dex even lets him help. He does this because Tango reminds him of one of his younger brothers. To Nursey it looks like flirting since Dex never lets him help fix anything, and he gets a little upset and then he realizes it’s because he loves Dex, and he probably has for a while now. Derek thinks that Dex isn’t into him, he must be into Tango and then he plays the avoidance game with him. 

This one would be resolved by Dex finally finding Derek at work one Friday night and asks why he’s been avoiding him, “Just tell me what I did! Just tell me what I did so I can apologize for it!” And of course Derek is like you can’t apologize for this. Be happy with Tony. And Dex is like, “Tony reminds me of my younger brother that would be gross if I dated him.” and Derek realizes this has all been a misunderstanding and so does Dex, but this one there’s more angst bc Dex tries to convince Derek not to love him, he doesn’t deserve Derek’s love but eventually they figure it out and kiss under some mistletoe. 

Anyway I have too many WIPs to really write this, and this feels like if I wrote every scene I wanted to it would turn into a monster so please have these instead

[fanaste]

Birthdays in a traffic jam

Title: Birthdays in a traffic jam

Fandom: OMGCheckplease

Pairing: Larissa Lardo Duan / Shitty Knight

Rating: PG-13 (for language)

Word count: 3320

Part 3 of The Shitty and Lardo Chronicles.  Also on AO3

The problem is traffic.

The problem is it’s four in the afternoon and everyone and their mother is out thinking that they’ve escaped early enough to avoid the home time traffic.  The problem is someone up ahead is honking angrily every three seconds.  The problem is some people can’t blare a horn politely.

The problem is they’re in a traffic jam.

The problem is Lardo’s in labour.

“I’m gonna have this baby in the car.”

Shitty looks calm and composed.  His eyes are focused on the unmoving traffic ahead and his knees aren’t bouncing but you’ve only to look at the bone white knuckle grip he has on the steering wheel and his twitching moustache to see that he feels otherwise.  That despite how he looks he is very aware of the active labour going on beside him and he is shitting himself.

The wheel leather squeaks under his hands.

“My darling, my queen, my reason for living,” he takes a thin breath, “please don’t because I don’t know how to deliver a fucking baby.”

Lardo flinches despite his even tone and her eyes flit to the rear view to check the backseat but of course it’s empty.  Xuan is not bouncing impatiently in her car seat because she’s at Dex and Nursey’s probably drinking too much sugary juice and watching cartoons that are slightly too old for her.  Shitty can swear all he likes now that they’re sponge of a two-year-old isn’t around. Truthfully Lardo wants to swear too but someone in this vehicle has to have their shit together.

She thought she had more time.

Honestly.

“I might crown in the car.” She tries to keep her voice light but Shitty shoots her a very dark look.

“No you are not.” He says firmly.

Traffic moves up a distracting couple of inches preventing her from voicing just what exactly she thinks of that ridiculous command.  Lardo sees Shitty loosen on thumb and it hovers over the centre of the wheel.

“Don’t.” She warns. “It’s not helping the guy up there, it’s not gonna help us.”

“You are literally having a baby in this car.” A bead of sweat rolls down his forehead.  Lardo reaches out to wipe it away and despite the tension in his body he leans into her touch.  Shitty will always lean into her caress as she would lean into his.

“Chill dude we’ll get there.” Except channelling Nursey doesn’t help her to actually feel chill. In fact, she feels quite panicked because she really doesn’t want to have a baby in the car.  Firstly, because contrary to what they’ve seen on TV, having a baby is a mite more complicated and Shitty is a very talented man but he’s not a doctor – the man can’t even cook scrambled eggs for God’s sake let alone deliver the product of a fertilised one – and secondly the bodily fluids would ruin the upholstery.

“I know it doesn’t help to point it out but I feel like I should,” Shitty grits, “this wouldn’t be happening if you’d paid attention to the contractions instead of doing that fucking painting.”

Lardo knows this is true but honestly, truly and honestly, she thought she had more time.  It’s not her fault pregnancy makes her so inspired. It’s way better than eating bizarre food combinations or being sick all the time.  Lardo gets pregnant and creativity is pouring forth from her body like a tap turned on full.  She would be an idiot to let all that potential go to waste, so yes she may have favoured getting that last bit of colour down rather than note how far apart her contractions were getting.  Besides this is her second baby and the second is supposed to be a breeze.  Her first certainly was.  Xuan was born with minimal fuss, very quickly and with a funny half smile on her face.  Lardo was sure the story would be the same this time round.

She realises now as she pants in the car that this was ridiculously, wildly stupid.  With every contraction (five minutes apart!) she is reminded of how fucking arrogant it was to ignore her bodies ample warning that it was time to get her ass to hospital.

Unfortunately for Shitty, however, Lardo’s in a lot of pain and she’s scared and even if they called an ambulance it would be stuck a hundred cars behind them.  With every second they don’t move Lardo is further convinced that she’s going to have to do this alone and it’s terrifying, which is why when she answers it’s more of a screech than the sharp retort that would have ordinarily sufficed.

“That fucking painting is a fucking commission,” Their toddler is not here so she’s letting a litany of cathartic curses go, “and I’m getting paid a fuck tonne of money for it.”

“We don’t need the money!”

And it’s a testament to how stressed he is that he even let something like that slip past his lips.

But labouring Lardo is in control now and she has no time for his bullshit.  “Have you met me?! Oh fuck!” A contraction steals her breath.

All the hostility in the air vanishes.

“Lards you okay?”

It takes her a minute to find enough air in her lungs to exhale a hay, “I’m okay.”

Shitty grasps her hand and she squeezes it hard.  He goes white, something cracks.  “I’m sorry.” He says.

She nods because she knows he is but also because she’s having another contraction and must pant like a dog.

When it came to carrying their first child Shitty made sure they were the most well informed terrified parents to be.  Lardo, refusing to feed into his paranoia took on the role of the zen parent. Shitty worried so much he gave himself stress ulcers so to balance them out Lardo refused to worry about anything. Come their second she thought he’d mellow the hell out but he didn’t.  He went and dug up those articles, gave himself a hair whitening refresher course on pre and post pregnancy complications and then stared at the ceiling for two hours with their daughter held tight in his arms.

“I’m freaking out.” She says in a small voice all hope of appearing calm for the sake of the man quietly freaking out beside her, gone.  The simple confession does make her feel a little better though as confessions of weakness around loved ones are pro to do, but it doesn’t last long because her body is still trying to expel the human being inside of her.

The cape of calm that Lardo usually wears for him is now crumpled in the foot well, she’s gritting her teeth through every wave of pain, she really wants to push and is desperately trying not to, and she wants to cry.  She always took comfort in thinking that if women could give birth in caves thousands of years ago then it meant her body would know what to do.  The downside of that being that when your body really wanted to do something you had to contend with a thousand years’ worth of evolutionary stubbornness.  Her body wanted to push damn the situation and consequences.

Shitty takes both hands off the wheel and encases hers.  “Lards look at me.  Larissa.” Lardo looks into those bright green eyes, tries to lose herself in the spring colour of them, tries to remember what it was like when they first met, how beautiful he was…even with the blossoming Tom Selleck pornstache.  “You’re going to be okay? Okay? We’re not far from the hospital turn off now and we’re surrounded by people who could get help if, if we need it.  Don’t be afraid.  I’m here and I’m not going to leave you.  You won’t do this by yourself.” He kisses her knuckles.

Lardo nods, tears roll down her cheeks.

Reluctantly he lets go of her hand and takes the wheel.  One contraction later traffic starts to move.

They spend the next three minutes in silence.  Lardo’s busy trying not to moan every time she contracts and Shitty’s too busy trying not to lay on the horn, throw up and scream all at the same time.

“Shitty?”

The honking stops cars around them start to roll forwards as traffic eases up.

“Shitty?”

Eyes glued to the road he replies, “Yes my love?”

“I need to push.”

Shitty does a double take at the puffy red faced woman who’s taken his wife’s place.  “What? No! No, no, no don’t push! Traffic’s moving baby we’re almost home fucking free!”

“Shitty!” Lardo screams, “I have to fucking push!”

“Argh!” He screams.

“Argh!” She screams.

“Shit shit shit.”

There’s an angry blare of the horn and Lardo sags sideways into the centre console.  The car stops abruptly and then Shitty’s out of the car.  For a frightening delirious second she thinks he’s run off but the minute he throws open her door she realises how utterly absurd such a fear is.  It’s Shitty she’s talking about here.  Her husband. The man who waited nearly four years for her in college.  He’d never leave her especially not when she is valiantly trying to not give birth to their child in the car by the side of the road.

“Okay baby.” He gasps, “We’re having a mother fucking baby.”

They’re going to have a baby by the side of the road.

“Noooo,” she whines, “Not here.” But really protests at this point are hopeless.

“Lards my universe, my sweet sweet duckling, my entire reason for existing- “

She finds it in her to roll her eyes at him.

“We’re having a baby by the side of the road.  It’ll be a glorious anecdote for when we go to Providence.” He grins but it’s strained and it’s only when she really concentrates on looking at him that she reads the absolute terror on his face.  He takes a deep summoning breath.  “I can do this.”

“Well,” she pants (one, two, three, four) “you’ve read enough books.”

Shitty lets out a nervous burst of laughter.  “Yeah I did didn’t I?”

He helps her out of the car and together they very very slowly make it to the back where Lardo tries to settle into the seat.  Despite the panic and the pain she still has the presence of mind to be embarrassed about having her feet and her ass hanging out.  Sure, she’s trying to push a human out but she was hoping to do it with some dignity, surrounded by doctors who look at people’s undercarriages all day, not home time motorists.

“Okay, okay, okay.  So I guess just push when you need to huh? Oh fuck! I gotta wash my hands.”

“Glove compartment!”

No parent travels anywhere without hand sanitiser.

Shitty dives forwards yanking open the compartment and pouring way too much gel on his hands. “Ooh Watermelon.”

She wants to laugh she really does but all she’s got in her is a groan.  Baby Knight two is ready to come out and they are pissed at being held in so long.

By her feet Shitty chants, “Oh shit oh shit oh shit.  Okay I need to catch it.”

“Don’t drop the baby!”

“Right,” Shitty pushes his sweat slick hair back, “rule number one just like with the first.”

Then Lardo loses all ability to do anything except accept that it’s time to push.  Fingers of one hand curled around the headrest and the other digging into the seat she grits her molars, bears down and with the next contraction rides the wave pushing and pushing until she has to break for air.

As she raggedly sucks in oxygen voices gather around them.

“Oh my god is she-?”

“Someone call 911!”

“You got this! Come on baby!” Shitty sounds like he’s cheering at a game.  “Come on Lards keep pushing! Go go go!”

Ignoring the crowd situated at the business end of this marvellous and cringe worthy display of the miracle of birth she pushes and pushes until she can’t push anymore.

“I see the head!” Shitty’s voice has gone up an octave, his eyes saucer wide stare down between her legs. “Oh fuck.  Oh Jesus fucking fuck! You beautiful little bastard yes!”

“Stop,” Lardo wheezes, “Swearing in front of the baby.”

“One more push Lards you fucking beauty.”

Lardo takes a deep breath.

Shitty laughs, high and manic, “They’re out! They’re out!”

Lardo’s arms and legs feel like jelly as she cranes herself forwards.  “Are they okay?”

The air is still, all sucked in by the crowd around them.  Shitty’s face is frozen halfway between heart bursting joy and heart stopping terror.

A long loud wail pierces the bubble of silence.  “Oh my God.” He breathes.  “Oh my fucking God.  It’s a boy. We have a boy!”

Lardo sobs.  In relief, in joy, in pain.  She cries when Shitty cuts the cord (thank you gathering strangers), she cries when he places their son on her chest and kisses her cheek, his own face soaked.  “Oh man.” He cries against her skin, “Oh man.”

In the distance a siren wails.

***

Half an hour later Shitty, eyes still round as dinner plates, sits beside her in the ambulance. He wasn’t kidding about them being close to the turn off ramp, the ambulance might have been here sooner but the incident ahead is only just clearing.  In her arms a tiny pink faced infant with downy dark hair makes breathy sounds against her skin.  When she places her lips against his head she inhales that impossible to describe scent of new baby, despite being delivered by a man whose hands were covered in watermelon scented anti bac gel.

“Oh man.” Said man breathes, smoothing a hand over his sweaty hair.  There’s a smudge of blood on his forearm and a mix of that and placenta on his shirt.  “I can’t believe that just happened.” They both take a moment to disbelieve it together. “What’s the Vietnamese word for surprise?”

Lardo slides him a look. “You do realise my mom speaks French right?”

“Yeah but you said you wanted to give the kids Vietnamese names.”

She did say that.

“Google it.” She says. Her mother grew up in a French speaking orphanage.  She speaks Vietnamese a little but she was educated in French.  Lardo grew up learning French not Vietnamese.  She doesn’t know the word for surprise.

Shitty shows her the screen which reads sự ngạc nhiên’ – surprise.  He then youtubes how to pronounce it.

“I don’t think we can name our kid something that we can’t find a direct translation for.”

Shitty hums his agreement. Then as if struck by lightning he says, “What about Vinh?”

“Vinh?”

“It means glory or glorious. I think this birth was pretty fucking glorious don’t you?”

“Language.” She warns mildly, chewing over the name.

“We could call him Vinnie for short and then my grandfather would be able to pronounce it.”

Lardo snickers.  His grandfather falters over Xuan’s name all the time.  If he wasn’t so old and they didn’t visit so infrequently she’d be annoyed by how he uses his age as an excuse for what is just a wilful racist refusal to learn how to say a name that he won’t find in his bible.

“I like it. Vinh.  Glory.”

“Wait until we tell Bitty about this.” Shitty beams down excitedly at them. “He is gonna fucking die.”

Lardo cups her palm protectively around their son’s tiny head and scowls, “Language, Shits.”

* * *

Bitty’s face fills up the phone screen “Oh my god honey are you okay?”

Thankfully Lardo’s shirt was not covered in placenta and other assorted birth goos so there was no need for a washed out pastel hospital gown but she does look like a woman who belongs in a hospital bed.  Gone is the pregnancy glow of before and in its place is the post birth sag.

“I’m fine bits.” She smiles pepped up by some juice after the event.  “Us women are very resilient.”

“Well I know that,” he tuts, “but you gave birth in a lay by! You’re trending on Twitter!”

Lardo jolts forward horrified, “I am?”

“Uh huh.  Someone filmed you.”

She cringes.

“Nothing graphic!” Bitty rushes to reassure her.  “Just your face all sweaty and- well actually you have the same expression Jack does when he’s playing against the Rangers.”

“I have Jacks angry hockey face when I’m in labour?”

“Or,” says a voice from the doorway, “Jack has your labour face when he’s playing hockey.  Hi guys.” Nursey sweeps into the room followed by Dex who has a squirming Xuan in his arms.  She wriggles and wriggles until he lets her slide down and then she’s climbing up on the end of the bed tucking herself under Lardo’s arm and staring at the screen.

“Hey cutie.” Bitty waves.

Xuan waves shyly then buries her face in Lardo’s side.  Her daughter has a very big crush on their itty Bitty.

“She still has excellent taste I see.” He teases.

Lardo sweeps some hair back from Xuan’s face.  “Holsters still lobbying hard.  He told her he’d get her a p u p p y for her birthday.”

Bitty gasps theatrically, “He did not!”

“Swear to God.  He’s not allowed obviously, two rabbits, a gerbil and the hens is enough.”

Bitty grins.  “So where is he?” He leans forwards as if he could see round the screen.  She turns the phone exposing Shitty holding the baby between two cooing former hockey players.  “He’s so tiny.”

“You didn’t see Xuan either did you?” He shakes his head.  “They’re so little but only for, like, five minutes.  In a week he’ll be a fatty.”

Bitty laughs, “Hey you.”

Everyone is expressly forbidden from using his nickname since Xuan has started to parrot them all.

“Hey Bits.  Meet Vinh.” Shitty’s grin stretches his moustache out.

“How are you?”

“My man,” he gushes, “I delivered my son by the side of the road.  These hands of mine pulled him from his mother’s womb- “

“Dude stop.” Will grimaces.

“Into the light of day.”

“In front of a crowd of gawping strangers.” Nursey adds as if Lardo’s going to ever be able to forget it.

Shitty ignores them, “I am fan-fu- fantastic.”

“I’m so glad.  Jack says hi and congratulations – I think he was tearing up.  He’s at practice but he’s gonna call when he gets back.  I can’t believe you gave birth by the side of the road.  Lards that’s awfully spectacular of you.”

She shrugs and smiles ruefully, “And I wanted to be so low key.”

“Blame the painting.” Shitty says in a baby voice as he’s looking down at their son.

Bits frowns quizzically. “What painting? The commission?” She nods.  “Wait isn’t that the one you’re doing for Thirdy and his wife?”

She grins guiltily.

“Oh my god I’ve got to tell Jack.” His hands move rapidly on the phone.  A second later it trills “Ha ha he says he’s gonna give Thirdy so much sh- junk over it.  Really increase your chances of a bonus.”

“It wasn’t his fault. I was super inspired.”  Bitty nods familiar with how inspired Lardo gets when she’s expecting.

“You know Lards I knew you were stupid determined when you had us pretend to be the judging body of graduate art students and you practiced your audition for the studio space in front of us, but to ignore labour in favour of painting?” Will makes a face, “I mean I’m impressed but also confounded.”

“Classic Tango.” Nursey smiles wryly.

They all share a fond smile in remembrance of their constantly questioning team mate.  Vinh makes a hiccupping noise and all the boys melt.

“So,” Bitty says after their moment, leaning forwards on his counter with a wide sunshine smile, “what kind of pie am I making?”

[cricketnationrise]

OMGCP Anniversary Week: Day 1

@omgcpanniversaryweek: day 1 - character

Oh fuck this.

Denice manages to roll out of bed and stagger to the bathroom, fighting the pain in her abdomen and the pain in her lower back the whole way. She does not have time for her body to betray her like this, It’s Tech Week for fuck’s sake.

Right now, the need for a heating pad and some Midol is overwhelming everything, but she knows there’s no way she’s going to make it all the way to the kitchen and back up to the attic.

She doesn’t have classes until her afternoon class in the theater building so at least she doesn’t have to figure out how to function in public yet. Another stab of pain shoots through her as she curls up in bed, trying to figure out how to muster up the energy to move.

Suddenly, she hears Nursey, and his baritone is like the clouds parting.

“That’s a major fine C! If you are gonna fine me and Dex for that, there’s no way I’m not fining you and Cait!”

This one time, she’s thankful for her loud hockey bros. Denice grabs her phone and texts her possible savior.

Denice: you’re still in the Haus? If you’re not on your way out the door can you bring me a warm heating pad (mine is under the sink and just needs like a minute in the microwave) and Midol? I already have a water bottle up here

Cait: absolutely! Have you had anything to eat yet? Never mind Dex made WAY too many eggs I’ll bring you a plate

Literally thank god for Caitlin Farmer.

“Hey Denice, I’m coming in,” comes Cait’s voice a few minutes later as the door opens. Cait’s carrying a tray that has a pill bottle, a plate of steaming eggs and toast, and, the holy grail, Denice’s warming pad.

“Oh thank god, I love you so much.”

“Of course!” Cait says. “Do you want to borrow my plug in one? I left it here last week.”

“That would be amazing,” Denice says as she tucks the heating pad in place and starts to eat. The sooner she gets food in her, the sooner she can take the Midol.

“I’ll go grab it.”

Denice texts Chowder while Cait’s gone.

Ford: your girlfriend is literally perfection

Chowder: SHE IS PERFECT THANK YOU SO MUCH

Denice: Are you absolutely sure you want to be dating her Cuz like I’ll take her off your hands

Chowder: get back witch I’m literally in love with her

Ford: booooo Okay If you’re absolutely sure

Chowder: You helped me pick out the ring???

Ford: 😘 I guess I’ll find my own If I must

Chowder: you must 😘

“Okay here it is, I’ll move your surge protector closer so you don’t have to leave bed if you don’t want to.”

“You’re amazing thanks again, Cait.”

“Got your back.”

“What were they fining you guys for anyway? That’s how I knew you were here, bless Nursey’s stupidly resonant voice for once.”

“Visible hickey,” Cait shrugs as she pauses in the doorway, ready to head back downstairs. “Just one. Not like Nursey can talk, he and Dex had about ten yesterday.”

“That checks out, honestly.”

“See you later, Ford.”

Denice has just finished eating when her phone starts buzzing.

Legends Only

Tango: Why is Farmer threatening me and Whiskey into bringing you dinner tonight? We were already going to? You never remember to eat properly during tech week.

Whiskey: yeah I was about to ask if you had any requests for tonight since it’s my turn to buy

Foxtrot: period started Massive cramps Much pain very wow

Tango: ☹️ noooooo

Whiskey: you need one of us to come back before your first class?

Tango: We absolutely would!

Foxtrot: nah I’m good Cait brought me some stuff I should be mostly human by the time I have to leave for class

Whiskey: 👍

Tango: sounds good! Feel better!

Whiskey: so you’re basically drowning trying not to be a lesbian on main, right?

Foxtrot: shut UP Leave me alone I don’t feel well

Whiskey: :p

Foxtrot: I did text chowder and ask if he was sure he wanted to be dating her

Tango: Didn’t you help him pick out a ring for after graduation?

Foxtrot: yes But god at WHAT COST

Whiskey: haha

Tango: bahahahahahahhaa

Whiskey: get some rest Foxy, see you at dinner

Foxtrot: I was gonna say I don’t know why we’re friends you’re so mean to me But then I remembered you’re bringing me food See y'all later 😘

[aetherallegory]

NURSEYDEX FANS HOW WE FEELIN. IM LOSING MY MIND.

[kleeklutch]