#background kustard

[iamsofuckinggay]

can i pls have some kustard?

Here you go!

(I wanted to practice backgrounds and lighting)

[keelywolfe]

The Bird in the Hand Shouldn't Punch the Gift Horse in the Mouth (baon)

Summary: All Sans wanted was lunch and instead he got the one thing he wasn't looking for: effort. Good thing Red is worth it.

Tags: Kustard, Domestic, Established Relationship, Sans/Underfell Sans, Undertale Monsters on the Surface, Background Spicyhoney, 

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Read it on AO3

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Read it here!

All things considered, it was a pretty nice day on the surface world and Sans was sitting outside, working on what was likely his most important decision of the day.

Namely, trying to figure out what he was gonna do about lunch.

When they built the Embassy, it was designed with a large courtyard in the center, an overflowing garden space and lots of pathways and benches. Thanks to Asgore there was always something out there blooming, even in the dead of winter, and no one should ever underestimate the gardening skills of a Boss monster who suddenly had access to a decent fertilizer.

This year the new guy running the cafeteria came up with a plan that on nice days, there would be a food cart set up for anyone who wanted to eat out in the sunshine. For a buncha monsters who’d never even seen the rays a few years ago, much less had a chance to work on their tans, it was a popular lunchtime choice.

So popular that the line was entirely too fucking long and that meant Sans’s two favorite pastimes, laziness and food, were at war with each other. Eh, maybe more like a mild skirmish than a war, closer to a slap fight between two prom queens who’d worn the same dress.

Problem was, if a guy, say, a skeleton guy with impeccable fashion sense and a great sense of humor wanted some of the goodies, waiting in line was a requirement. If you missed out on the queue, you were stuck with whatever leftovers were lingering at the bottom of the bag. That was usually where the health food options hung out with vegetables and sadness; celery was no substitute when a guy was looking for deep fat fry.

Waiting in line vs tasty goodness, it was a dilemma and Sans was sitting on his regular bench as he contemplated the equation. Energy out (waiting in line) vs energy in (delish food) and he was so deep in mathsy logic that he didn’t even notice Red making his creeper way over.

Having a grease-stained paper tray shoved into his lap with a terse, “here,” was one way to derail his thought process. Sans grabbed it automatically before it could tumble down to the ground and raise the cholesterol of the local wildlife.

He looked down at the unexpected gift to see a tray of fries, but wait, not just any fries, fries from Louie's, one of the local extra-greasy spoons. The burgers there were pretty good but the fries, now those were a legit orgasmic experience, and these didn’t look like an exception to the rule. Still so fresh the heat was soaking through both the thin carboard and Sans’s shorts, the ketchup so recently applied it hadn't had time to soak in and make 'em soggy.

They looked fucking delicious, but Sans was always a little wary of unexpected gifts, especially ones that appeared from a certain red-eyed, shark-toothed genie.

Thing was, Louie's was halfway across town, further than either of them could easily, or even with fanatical difficulty, shortcut. Which meant Red was either involved in some sort of bribe/blackmailing incident or he’d managed to break several laws of physics, both of which were a lot of effort for him to put out before lunch.

Hm.

Sans picked up a fry with the same caution as he might disable a greasy bomb, studied the layer of ketchup intently, noting the sprinkle of salt. He ate it and it crunched lightly, gloriously, between his teeth, the golden crust bathed in fatty deliciousness the perfect vessel to contain the soft, mealy innards.

All in all, good shit. Well worth being poisoned if that were on the table.

Now that Sans had accepted his fate, he munched his way through the fries agreeably, ignoring Red when he heaved himself up to sit next to him on the bench. Or at least pretending to ignore him since actually doing it was a fast track to getting behind in the game. No tray of his own, interesting; Red wasn’t actually much of a fry fan, he preferred chili dogs. Sans didn’t have an opinion on Louie’s contribution to that genre, but Red always ordered ‘em there without complaint so they couldn’t be too bad.

What he did have in his possession was a coffee cup and instead of drinking from it, he set it next to Sans’s hip in silent, pointed communication.

Message received. Sans picked up the cup between wolfing down his unexpected and dubiously welcome lunch, and took a wary sip. On his tongue was not the burnt undernotes that was always in Louie’s coffee despite it being brewed almost constantly, a taste that lingered in the mouth hours later, even if a guy dispelled his tongue. No, this was pitch-black nitro blend that was only available in-house at the Beanery on Tuesdays.

Today was Friday. Hm. Another confusing clue in his unanticipated afternoon mystery. If any meddling kids showed up with a big-ass dog, Sans was heading back down to his office.

He was mostly done with his fries when another Monster approached them. Mandy worked upstairs in the administration offices doing fuck only knew what. She was a pretty little bird monster with a colorful crest on her head that popped up whenever she got enthusiastic.

Sans knew this because her enthusiasm extended to a reality TV show called ‘Romance Island Retreat’ and he knew that because she’d seen the button on his hoodie last week for Team Veronica and figured he was a fan, too.

Not that he’d ever seen the damn show, the pin was actually from the Archie’s comic books and he’d gotten it free last time he’d stopped to pick up his monthly stash at the local store, pinned it on without thinking much about it. But he’d never been one to piss on anyone else’s Wheaties, unlike other people who seemed to enjoy it, and he’d let her ramble on about it, nodding in all the right places and injecting predictable bullshit in at appropriate times. Wasn’t too hard, because OMG can you BELIEVE he did that? What an asshole move, right, and-and-and-

It'd been funny enough that he’d read up on the wiki about the show and they’d chatted a couple times since about it. Pierce was an asshole, but he really did hope Veronica made the final cut so he didn’t need to get a new pin.

There’d been a new episode last night and Mandy was probably filled to bursting about it, ready to go over it scene by scene over a little falafel and fries. And here was Red in her seat, studiously not looking at her as she hovered uncertainly by the bench with her lunch tray in wing.

Well, now. This was interesting.

Sans wasn’t much for puzzles, that was Paps’s schtick, but he damn well knew how to slide tab A into slot B. And out and in and out and in, but that wasn’t exactly work-safe, now was it.

Her excitement about last night’s totally-not-at-all scripted emotional rollercoaster didn’t seem able to stand up to Red’s menacing aura and she’d already visibly decided to sit somewhere else when Red said, a touch too loudly, "fuck off."

It would take a hardy soul indeed to make any sort of argument around Red’s version of logic and Mandy promptly fucked off, heading over to the benches on the other side of the oversized peonies bobbing in the breeze.

Sans licked the ketchup off a fry before eating it in two quick bites. "that was rude," he said mildly.

Red grunted. "that was barely on th' rude meter, you wanna see rude, i can give you a fuckin' show."

Yeah, from the side glances the other Monsters were giving them, that was exactly what they were hoping for. Not a single one of them made for the doors, all the assholes who worked here must’ve bought their survival instincts at the same store where Stretch shopped. Sans kept his voice low and even. "save it for broadway. what you can do is apologize."

Red looked at him like he'd suggested an all-night threeway with Jabba the Hut, with that shiny gold robot along to narrate.

Sans only serenely sipped his coffee, heh, say that three times fast. "unless you're looking to spend tonight on edge and stretch's sofa? 'cause we can arrange that, don't even need to make a reservation.”

It took years of practice to be able to look without looking at the skill level Sans had. Actual effort had been put into it and it was oh, so worth it for a glimpse of the seething outrage that practically seeped from Red’s expression.

Might as well raise the stakes. Sans licked his fingers clean then deliberately reached up to fondle the buckle of the collar fastened securely around his cervical vertebrae, lightly tracing the shape of the heart.

Outrage cranked up to something very close to murderous, teetering on the precipice of violence. Sans hooked a finger into the narrow band and pulled the collar taut, the scrape of leather against bone just barely audible.

For an endless moment, they hung right over the edge of the cliff, one foot dangling and the other right on top of the banana peel.

Then Red hopped to his feet, muttering under his breath as he stormed over to Mandy’s bench. If he stomped with any more force he'd be leaving shoeprints in the pathway. Mandy looked wisely concerned at his approach and whatever Red said only made it worse, her already large eyes widening. Sans doubted anyone in the courtyard would notice if Asgore put in a sudden appearance, stark naked and riding a unicycle.

Oh, yeah, this was gonna be all over the Embassy in about two minutes. He gave it about five before Edge called his brother to ask what the fuck he’d done, probably to silently confirm no bodies were laying around in need of a little discreet hiding.

Welp, might as well add Mandy to the list of people who probably weren’t gonna to be stopping by for game night. Huh, what would it be like to have Red spit an apology into your lap on a nice, sunny day over your ham and swiss on rye, hocking a ‘sorry’ right into your face? It was pretty chucklicious from this side of the equation and who said math wasn’t fun?

Not that the apology was really for her, anyway. Sans would have to apologize himself later for accidentally dragging her into their kink parade, she sure hadn’t signed on to walk with the clowns. Something to look forward to, maybe he could get her a Team Veronica t-shirt made up. If she let him get close enough to hand it over, might have to just leave it on her desk.

Apology concluded, Red stomped back and Sans swore he saw the branches on the trees quivering in his wake. He flung himself back on the bench and said nothing, only made a fair attempt at withering a patch of daffodils with his glare.

Sans waited, took a sip of his cooling coffee as he counted to ten and then did it again before he said, very softly, "good boy."

Oh, honey, it was worth a hundred apologies and a thousand t-shirts to see Red’s sockets briefly close as that shiver went through him. Worth so very much more.

"hope you got plenty of sleep last night," Red said through gritted teeth, “’cause tonight you’re gonna be pretty busy singing a fuckin' midnight symphony.” Oh, fuck, yes, there were dark promises in those words, caverns-deep, miles below the surface and ready to crawl out of the depths and make Sans grateful for many layers of bedroom soundproofing.

It was a beautiful, sunny day, there was coffee, silent promises, and french fries, and Sans was more than happy to take another grateful bite.

-finis-

[ibeta]

Plot Bunnies... Plot Bears... Plot... Plot... Stop. Stop. Stop?

Too many. I need a way to stop them from breeding. I've moved some notes I have on my phone to my PC's MSWord. Let's start with the favourites.

———

The Dancer and His Musician

"TDAHM - First Dance" was hastily written on February 14. On February 18, it was "TDAHM SSX".

Red in First Dance is a nervous dancer. Red in SSX... he's dipping his favourite dancer, and they've done some things because Red is smooth. Those are two Reds that need to be written within days from each other. It took two real-world days for Red to go from clumsy to powerful (this is a lie. It took him months).

———

Four Terribears

Ah, yes. It just... breeds on its own. We don't talk about the Plot Bears. They're a big problem. It's an infestation of four Sanses and four Papyruses. The World can talk to Sans. The Judge can talk to The World. It's too many plot devices all in one.

———

No-Bodies in Math

A bunch of four Sanses, with kustard. The inspiration is: that twitter/x post where they think gaming terms are funny. It's all written in lowercase, so I thought I needed Sans to say it absentmindedly and Red would absentmindedly reply, "yes, sure, fine, i'll give you a kiss after we beat this guy to dust, snowflake."

They have different professions and join a math server for inspiration. They really don't talk a lot of math. Sans ruins everything with math puns and then Red ups the ante. Black and Blue get competitive, so they join in the fight because they make puns too and aren't shy to let others know.

Then, Black creates a game for his brother from some ideas that Sans brought up in a hypothetical situation, and they all test it. Then, somehow, the game is released, and they become one of the experts of the game and... they math their way through. It's embarrassing because they all make math puns with each other as they're streaming the game to show its functions. But they make it up by being absolutely godlike in their team-ups.

Then, somehow, the game becomes popular enough to be an e-sport, and their group receives an invitation. No one knows that they helped create the game, and Black's getting a headache from getting so many calls on his personal line. He's a part-time programmer for his company. Sans is a famous performer by accident. Red has a really shady background that he's trying to fix. Blue is a doctor known for his baking vlog. (Blue seems to be the most normal one, but he really isn't. He always chooses the most violent characters in the game.)

They discuss and accept that they're meeting for the first time in an e-sports event.

When they meet... Sans comes late.

He sees Red awkwardly standing stiffly at the podium, so he bumps into him, stumbling and announcing his presence. He keeps his face covered until they ask who he is. He confesses that he ran away from his brother and then reveals his face.

Everyone focuses on him and forgets Red, who knows that Sans took the attention away on purpose. Black and Blue stand proud and happy, greeting their friends. Black seems to recognise Red, and Red acknowledges Black's background.

They play the game and easily fall back into the habit of making jokes at each other. They frequently forget that they're sitting with their friends and keep saying they'll have to meet up. Red and Sans fall into the habit of casually flirting with each other, easing up their meeting. Red thinks it's friendly flirting. Sans is a hundred percent certain he wants to date the scary skeleton that makes his soul quiver.

So, when Papyrus picks up Sans to leave, Sans shakes Black's hand, gives a hug to Blue, and then with Red...

It's something vaguely like this:

Sans leans close and lowers his skull, peeking at Red from below. The other skeleton stares at him, blinking steadily in confusion.

Then Sans smiles, and Red flushes brightly. Sans thinks it's an adorable reaction. He digs it hard.

"i like stargazing," Sans tells him, "and i don't mind long walks on the beach. our place is big, so you can bring your whole family over. i like sleeping in and, heh, you look very cuddly. maybe we can go out on our own next time?"

He slips a card into Red's vest as he leans up to plant a kiss on Red's cheekbone. Then, he smoothly moves towards Papyrus, who drags him away before he causes more commotion as a public figure.

Red's frozen in shock. Black and Blue laugh together and demand that he give them invitation cards to their bonding.

In another scene, Sans goes for a kiss, and Red drags him close, kissing back after getting over the shock. It's only afterwards that Sans tells him he likes stargazing and walks on the beach and that Red should bring his whole family over to his place. (Red thinks Sans is offering a safe place for him, and he's right).

———

Only Lie About Me

A singer Sans reveals that he can switch his voice to his manager. Sheila, his manager, goes crazy over this. She makes him join a singing club online that does singing competitions and duet competitions. She wants him to use a woman’s sultry voice to prank the singers for a long time. Sans meets a punny and yet serious skeleton who seems familiar, but he can't tell why.

(Red meets him once during a low part of his life, and Red hears him singing. Then the dog he's walking darts away from him as Sans imitates a siren and lures every living animal within the hearing range. Sans is embarrassed to be caught with so many animals listening to him and returns Red's dog. He and Sans have a short life-changing conversation. Sans leaves without his animal parade. Red stays and thinks he's fallen in love with his voice.)

Red doesn't know that the new singer that joined the club is Sans because Sans is using a woman's voice.

They talk, keep talking, and Sans discovers that Red likes Sans. Sans helplessly listens to Red as he bemoans that he lost contact with Sans. The famous singer likes Red, so he plans for an 'accidental' meeting. Then he sees Red and is stunned to see the same hot skeleton whose dog he accidentally lured away.

...then he has to deal with keeping his identity a secret as his new secret identity accidentally makes Red fall in love. Sans is a desperate sap that keeps dropping hints that he's keeping secrets, that Red might be surprised at his identity. He likes Red a lot. He might even love him. (He loves him. He's a super sap.)

Fortunately, Red figures that his new love can't tell him things, that she'll reveal it to him when the time is right.

Then Sans, the famous singer who doesn't sing a single love song, composes music that sounds like one. He drops a big hint that he's in love without saying anything.

In a concert that he and his manager attend, he finally has the chance to reveal his new album.

———

The Star and The Mer

A misunderstanding makes Red think that the god that helped him is... The Moon. Actually, Sans is just using the moon as a medium to communicate with him. Otherwise, he'll turn Red into a tasty grilled octopus if he touches him.

Red learns about cults from the other monsters on the surface. (He's about to start his own.) So, he makes sure to thank the god. The... moon.

Sans has to watch the cute half-skeleton offer things to the moon, even when the intent from the offerings calls to him. He practices hard to have a monster form so he can interact with Red.

Then, when Red gets the courage to offer up his magic pearl, Sans feels the unspoken desire for his love and courtship. Red sees the pearl float up into the sky before he faints from the strain on his magic as the connection stretches. Sans has to hover above Red's world so Red doesn't snap away.

Red wakes up, remembering that his god has accepted the pearl. He had been vague with his explanations about the relevance of a magic pearl from a mer. He likens it to a personal line to his hearing.

He hopes his god likes the pearl, that it might call for him if his god needs him.

Then, Red leaves for the ocean again, so Sans just publicly descends to use the scraps of a sailfish that Red offered so he could chase his red pearl. Adjustments be damned.

The World announces his presence as a great star god that has descended upon its surface. This information is sent to every soul on the world, which includes Red, who doesn't care about some star because he thinks his god is the moon. He simply looks at the squiggles that he seems to understand and dismisses it.

Sans encounters many obstacles in his way, but Red has offered him the fastest sailfish. He uses its properties to escape strange creatures.

Red hears that there's someone looking for him. They mention that they're desperately searching, that they're fast and strong, and they seem to be part of some kind of sailfish.

Then, before he can look for them, a half-skeleton finds him, and he calls Red by his name. Red can hear him so clearly that his soul starts pounding when he realises that there's only one person who has his pearl.

His god has come for him. And, he's so beautiful. His fins of magic are bright and healthy, and his bones are white and smooth. His god's voice is deep and melodious, better than any siren from the ocean. He speaks to Red so gently, so happily, like Red’s someone precious to him and—

Sans, his god, tells him he's actually a star, not the moon.

Red wants to kill the moon for this misunderstanding, but he now knows that it's just a piece of rock that looks pretty. It's always the glow that Red watches as he'd been staring up at the moon.

———

The rest... the rest I can't type up for now because I'm sleepy. I won't remember to type them down. I'm too scattered.

If you want to know, I guess you can ask, and I'll type about it if you pick a title from the list. I just posted this because I need to vent out the bunnies from my brain before they take over. Like placing a spider egg away from my brain before it spreads and needs a flamethrower.

It rarely works. I still have at least five bunnies in my head.

[sweetnround]

I was in charge of Rhubarb's new emotes! These are the cutest gosh dang emotes I've drawn~ I'm very proud of them!

My favorite part about drawing these emotes was sneaking in little faces on the bunny on Rhubarb's hair clip~🐰 That and hiding the fact that she does not have side audio interfaces that are of homo sapien origin👂If you can't unsee it now you're welcome!😇

🌍Rhubarb is a part of Brave Group's European VTuber group Globie! She recently celebrated her Youtube Monetization + held a donothon!

🍬Rhubarb N. Kustard

Twitter

Youtube

Graphic Design for background used for emote compilation by かねこあみ

I do not claim ownership of the graphic design

[sin-cognito]

Kustard week 2023 day 2: the Little Mermaid

Wordcount: 1739

~The little mermaid left her life and fortune behind so she could be with the Prince~

@kustardweek

READ ON AO3

Being a scientist at SOUL, Sans had theorized a formula to calculate the mathematical relation between wealth and his numerous fucked up relationships.

Sans himself wasn't rich per say, but his father was. Obscenely so. Sans had thus experienced from a relatively early age what it was like to try to date when you are the heir to one of the top 10 richest families in the country. He could do a whole presentation about it, with excel sheets and google docs and all. First there were the wealthy datemates. He naively thought that money wouldn't be a problematic topic if he was to date someone from the same privileged background as him. So wrong. So many of them were stuck up assholes who didn't have an inkling about their own privileges. With them, Sans couldn't even go buy a bottle of ketchup at the grocery store, they always had the urge to flaunt their (usually parents') wealth and hire a professional cook to fix Sans some high quality ketchup sauce made from scratch, when all he wanted was to go grab a burg from Grillbz'.

Then he naturally turned his attention to people from a more regular background, trying not to worry about the influence his overwhelmingly bigger wallet could have over them. He very quickly realized this was a mistake, as he was either seen as a walking ATM machine, or as a condescending asshole, no matter what he did. If he hid the fact that he was rich, his date would be mad, and if he was open about the sum of money that was in his bank account, his date would get insecure about their own lack of money and end up resenting him for it. It was a lose-lose situation for him.

Around the time he reached 20, Sans decided to go for a third option: anonymity. He began to hang around dating sites and forums about science, and found actual friends who would appreciate him for himself, regardless of who his father was. And boy was that nice.

It turned even nicer when he 'met' Red, another science aficionado with whom he got along very quickly. They would spend hours and hours chatting about science, shows, their lives, and it was no surprise to anyone in their friend group when they developed feelings for each other and started dating, even if it was strictly online at the beginning.

Red lived on the other side of the country and had a demanding job. He was high hierarchy in a big company that he was legally forbidden to tell Sans the name of, but that was enough to assuage Sans' fears: finally he had met someone like him. Red was wealthy but down to earth, and learning that made Sans all the more eager to meet him.

Finally one day Sans summoned the courage to ask Red if they could meet, and he was elated to learn that Red had already started making plans to be able to visit Sans before the end of the year. They met during the Gyftmas vacations for the first time, and those memories would live forever in Sans' SOUL. Everything was perfect. Red had booked a suite in a fancy hotel that even Sans was impressed by, they went to the best fine dining places in the city, did shopping in high end stores where nothing's under the 5 digits price tag. But more than that, Sans enjoyed listening to Red's voice for real, feeling his hand in Sans', abandoning himself to a night of burning passion with Red. Sex had never been as amazing as that night and Sans knew then that Red was the one.

That trip was unfortunately too short, and Red had to go back to work, promising he'd do his best to find a way to take another vacation together the next year. It unfortunately didn't happen, but they managed to find a good time to see each other the year after that. This time, Red took Sans abroad for a trip that he entirely covered. Sans suspected that, had they not met, Red would've become a sugar daddy to a low income student or something, seeing as he always rushed to pay for anything Sans expressed the faintest interest in. Honestly it was cute.

When their 5th anniversary approached, Sans decided that he didn't want to live away from Red anymore. Even if he had to drop his career, family and everything else, he was determined to move with Red on the other side of the country. He wanted to wake up in his bed every morning and make him burnt pancakes before sending him off to work with a kiss on his teeth.

Sans' father made a big deal out of this decision. He wanted his oldest son to take up after him in running the family company, and he was distrusting of a skeleton monster that his son had met online, even though Sans had already met Red twice by that point. Gaster was just from another generation. He kept reminding Sans that he was making a mistake and that he would not contribute to this silly idea, and even promised to cut Sans off and write him out of his will, but Sans had made up his mind. He would be with Red, even if that meant cutting off his father from his life. Announcing his plan to Papyrus had been much harder, but there was nothing that would deter Sans.

On his 26th birthday, Sans packed his bags, said goodbye to his disapproving father and hugged his brother, before he made his way to the airport.

After a long flight, he finally arrived in the city Red lived in. After a lot of digging and asking around, Sans had figured out where Red worked, one of the tallest building in the city, made of glass and steel and that reeked of wealth. Just like the kind his father worked in. Sans made his way inside and went straight up to the reception.

"hi, i don't have any appointment but could you tell Underfell Red that Undertale Sans is here?" He asked the employee. "he'll know who i am."

The employee's smile twitched. "You're here for Red? I don't think you need an appointment to see him... Would you like me to page him for you?"

Sans was taken aback that she'd so casually drop a higher up's last name like that, but he shrugged it off and nodded. She invited him to get a seat by the waiting area and he thanked her. He only had to wait a couple minutes before a back door opened and a familiar skeleton made his way to the receptionist to ask why he had been called. The employee replied something but Sans couldn't focus on much of anything when he saw what Red was wearing: dirty beige overalls with a belt packed with all kinds of tools, hammers and screwdrivers mostly, as well as a couple rags that were loosely tied around the belt. Sans could see dark stains of what seemed to be some sort of oily stuff all across the back of his skull, like he had had his head stuck in a piece of machinery all morning and hadn't had the time to clean it up.

Red was very much the opposite of the elegant prince he had been when they had met irl a couple years back.

"red?" He asked in a small, broken voice.

Red startled and whipped around, only now noticing his small boyfriend. Red's mouth worked in silence for a few seconds before all life seemingly left him and his shoulders sagged in the most depressed and resigned stance Sans had ever seen.

"i'm sorry..." He blurted out before grabbing Sans' hand in his and pulling him quickly through the back door.

They went through a few corridors, until they reached what seemed to be a small and stinky break room.

"red, what's going on?" Sans asked, utterly confused.

"i lied to you. i'm not a ceo or a higher-up, i'm not even a real employee here. i fix the lights," Red blurted out, looking at anything but Sans, who blinked a few times while Red's words sank in.

"so you're... not... rich?" Was oddly the first question that came to mind.

"no. i lied because i wanted to impress you."

"but... when you visited..." Sans started, unable to finish his sentence but Red apparently didn't need him to.

"i worked my ass off to have enough money to spend on you," he sighed as he collapsed on a chair. "i borrowed money, from the bank, from friends and relatives, from anywhere i could. put a mortgage on my home too."

"why?" The single word was breathed out so quietly it was a wonder Red heard him at all.

"because i... i just wanted to give you nice things..." Red replied before he bent forward and took his skull in his hands. "but now i'm struggling to give back all the money that i owe, i have nothing to my name and i sleep in my car," he grunted. "just, give me like, a couple more years and i can get more money, and then we can pretend you never saw me here and i'll be able to get you everything you want."

Sans went to stand right in front of Red. He knelt down before him and gently pried off Red's hands from his skull. He needed to see Red's face and eyelights for his next question.

"red, be honest. you lied about your situation. did you also lie about your feelings for me?"

Red's answer was immediate and final. It left no room for debate.

"no. i love you. i would've never done this if it wasn't for you."

Red's deadpan reply and his honest expression made Sans chuckle, before he threw himself into Red's arms.

"you idiot. i love you too," he said, his SOUL beating happily in his chest when Red returned the hug. "i left my father and his fortune behind so we could be together. i don't care that you have no money, red. i don't care about anything as long as i can be with you."

Red's embrace tightened around him and Sans realized that his love formula had been wrong all along.

All he needed was Red.

[boxofwaspss]

scifell

oh scifell is good, solid 7/10 I enjoy it a lot, mostly bc of my friend tho im ngl HAHA I kind of view it like kustard tho ( i mean, it kind of is LOL) but moreso that i find it very enjoyable, but like, as background ship if that makes sense? I love it when its there, but I wouldnt seek it out

[blueboobutterfly]

My fav Undertale AU ships. And now this is not up for peoples opinions, I already know what you think of me 😔

Literally Everyone X Error - I am willing to ship error with anyone mostly, and most of the time Error is the bottom/sub. Why? Because I said so.

RottenCrops - THEY ARE CUTE AS FUCK AND I REFUSE TO ARGUE WITH ANYONE ABOUT IT.

DustBerry- Ahhh fuck these two are so interesting together and I love it.

Crepic - It’s an underrated ship and I will go down with it. Like fuck do I want this ship to get more attention.

AfterDeath - A secondary favorite go to when I’m reading fan fiction. I also love it if it’s paired with DestructiveDeath and the whole Error was Geno stuff.

DanceLust - Idk what the ship name is for this one but it’s cute as shit to me and it actually goes so well.

Kustard - Edgy Boi and Lazy bOi are original favs, although I’ve drifted from them more as I’ve found Error to love.

KillerColor - It’s cute and I love it.

KillerOuter - Same as above 👆

Drink - It’s a go to ship for background stuff for me when I’m writing. I like it better than InkError/ErrorInk

Cream - Same reasoning as Drink but softer, they are genuinely cute together.

And finally we have KillerMare - it’s a good ship but not my preferred one overall, I prefer ErrorMare if anything. But some stories are just so good I can’t help it!

Edit: I would also like to add ScoundrelLust because I just think it works for some reason and I literally see nothing for this ship 🥺

[odderancyart]

If you’re still accepting aro prompts I would love to see a aroace Pap who loves love and loves people being happy and is super supportive of others relationships but who never wanted it for himself. Like, he is a big shipper and will listen to his friends and brother swoon over their significant other happy that they are so happy but never feels that romantic connection for himself and never wanted it. (Fluff please) From the romantic AroAce who loves love just not with me please 💚💚

“And then,” Sans sigheddreamily, “we spent the entire night watching the meteor shower.”

Papyrus smiled as he watchedhis brother babble on about his date with Red. He looked so happy, and it made Papyrusfeel all fuzzy inside as well. It was so wonderful to see him like this. Sansoften smiled, and he was often amused,but this genuine joy was much rarer. “What else happened?”

Closing his eyes, smiling softly,Sans lowered his face onto his arms on the kitchen table. “We kissed, Pap.”

“That’s wonderful!” He clappedhis hands together quietly, as to not startle his brother. Sans nodded slowly,already sinking back into his happy dream haze.

But Sans opened his eyes again,glancing up at him. And although the soft fuzzy joy was still in there, he lookeda little concerned. “You’ve never brought anyone home, Pap. Is everythingalright?”

Chuckling, he nodded, pattingSans’ head. His soul warmed at the concern, although it was an amusing thoughtthat Sans would think anything was wrong because he hadn’t ever brought home a romanticinterest. “Everything is great, brother. I love listening to you talk aboutRed, but I’m not interested in having a partner, you see. It’s nothing for me.”

His voice was hushed, as tonot disturb the peace lying over the kitchen.

Sans blinked, but nodded. “Alright.As long as you’re happy.”

“I am,” Papyrus promised,placing his hand on his brother’s and squeezing gently. “Tell me more aboutyour date with Red.”

[silverryu25]

Dragons are awesome I don’t blame you ! 💚💚💚💚 now I have a dragon kustard au idea . Like red is a dragon skeleton monster guarding his princess sans in the tower. Most people think sans is being held hostage when in reality sans is tired of random prince’s asking for marriage and he doesn’t want an arrange marriage. They both in love but red will doubt sans could ever love an ugly beast like him and is scared that he’d be like the princes that want to marry sans. And sans loves him mutually.

Awwwwww! This hits the spot so perfectly (♥ω♥*)

Sans being the princess that just had enough of random knights coming to the rescue sounds too funny. I can imagine a prince coming to save Sans, maybe he finds Sans lazing about in the garden or something, thinks it’s his lucky day, kidnaps saves him and runs. Sans wakes up finds himself being “saved” and promptly makes sure his dragon knows what’s up. Ends in prince barbecue XD

The sad thing is I agree that Red wouldn’t think Sans could really love him. That dork is a fool like that no matter what for he takes -_- Red convincing himself that everything affectionate and nice Sans does is just something a princess would do cause they are like that, sweet and polite. Though Sans isn’t any of that like all the prince’s that came to save 

But I bet princess Sans can get it through his thick skull... but how?

[art-is-a-thing-i-do-i-guess]

Comic: “Say, cheese!”

Comic: “looks Good!”

Red: “Can make it better~”

Comic: ???

Razz: “love ya!”

///

More Rotten Kustard! Aren’t they adorable!?

[ghostwaver]

My take on kustard as dragons.

Don't repost my art.

[zlago]

Sanset: Classic&Red 

(Psst! It’s perfect wallpapers for your desktop :D)

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Weak Spots

Summary:  Red knew he should've just kept walking.

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Red didn’t do walks. Why the fuck would he, for his health? Wasn’t a workout plan out there that was gonna build him any muscle and when your main mode of transportation was taking a step through the void, you tended to keep the travel expenses to a minimum.

So no, he didn’t do walks, or strolls, or jogs, did he look like his fucking brother? Maybe a little around the eye sockets, but where Edge was always on the move, Red’s internal gearshift was set on park. He liked to have a clear idea of where he was coming from and where he was going to, and not much in between.

All of that was a longass way of saying that wandering down the street with a cigar in one hand and an itchy tailbone in the other was not his normal state of being. Just the walking part, the smokes and the ass scratch were a daily occurrence.

Sometimes, though, the urge struck to get out, to circle the block and have a looksee around that wasn’t through a camera lens. His leg bones got jittery, was all, and tended to take him along for the ride.

If you asked Sans, they weren’t walks at all, it was only him taking a mo’ to survey his domain. Said if Red coulda taken a piss, he’d be whizzing on any tree or fire hydrant he passed. But no one fucking asked Sans, so who gave a shit what that fucker thought about it.

He’d be paying for that remark in spades when Red got back. Spades, diamonds, clubs, he’d owe in all the suits.

(maybe even hearts)

Red shuffled easily along, the soles of his boots scraping the concrete. Up to the border where Old New Home and New New Home met and transformed from mostly abandoned carbon copy houses to pretty little family homes. Didn’t usually go this far out, but it was better’n trudging through the roughly plowed streets of his neighborhood. The sidewalks here were newer and heated, cleared from any snowy sludge, and Red was plenty done with all forms snow; after years in Snowdin, he’d had enough of it for this lifetime and halfway into the next.

The sidewalk made a lazy loop through the little park system that was slowly getting built up. Ebott had a few parks, sure, but not all Monsters wanted to drive out or haul their kiddos on the bus for a little swing set time. No one was on the playground right now, the swings hanging empty, the jungle gym iced over. Maybe on a warmer day, the kiddos would be out but today the chill was keeping them behind closed doors, wasn’t another soul in sight and—

Wait.

In one corner of the park, deep in the snowdrifts and sitting at the wide base of sheltering tree was someone in a bright orange jacket. For a split second, he thought it was Stretch sitting huddled over there; not too many other people around here chose to dress like they were in search of a fucking crosswalk to guard.

A blink and a closer look proved it was a trick of sight, not that Red was that far off. Turned out to be Andy, the honey bun’s shorter platonic soulmate was the one parked alone in the snow. Kid was sitting with his head resting on his updrawn knees, his arms wrapped around ‘em and Red’d seen enough people in that position to recognize when someone was havin’ a cry. ‘course, usually it was his fault…

Anyway.

What he should do is just keep on walking. Kid hadn’t seen him and whatever his troubles were, there were plenty of other shoulders out there he could spill ‘em on. Hell, Blue might kick his own brother out of the way to rip his damn shirt off so Jeff could use it as a Kleenex and apologize for not washin’ it first.

Red had enough on his plate, thanks, and he didn’t need anyone feeding him whatever was the daily special for angst.

Keep on walking, yep, that was what he should do. Maybe even take a shortcut, head on back home where Sans was probably still curled up on the sofa in the same grungy shorts he’d worn the day before, socks sagging down to puddle at his ankles and a smear of ketchup on the front of his t-shirt. No one was ever gonna paint him like one of their French girls and that was fine by Red. Let his bro keep the pretty one, Red had a claim on the asshole, even had his name on ‘im these days and Sans wore it bold as the brass it was engraved on.

Shoulda, coulda…didn’t. Red heaved out a sigh and stopped. His bro was the one who kept collecting liabilities but fuck if Red hadn’t picked up a coupla weak spots of his own along the way and Handy Andy was one of ‘em.

If Grillby could only see him now, he’d laugh his flaming fucking head off.

So Red took a detour, wandered over in Andy’s direction. The snow was deeper out here, spilling cold into the tops of his boots and why the fuck couldn’t people have a crisis where it was warm? Andy didn’t look up and Red leaned against the tree trunk, grimacing at the chill leaking through his jacket as he struck a match against the rough bark.

That got him a startled gasp and Jeff jerked, looking up at him with a tearstained face and red-rimmed eyes.

Red worked on lighting a fresh cigar, wondered idly if he's gonna have to arrange some kind of 'accident'. Better not be Antwan making the kid cry, 'cause if he had to murder his bro's best friend, it'd be a lot of damn work; he’d need to make that case airtight, Edge always gotta be so suspicious. Trained baby bro too well in that.

But patience was asking too fucking much and his feet were cold, so Red asked gruffly, "so what's the problem, kid?"

“Nothing,” Jeff said, sniffling,

“uh huh. just rehearsing for the big play, is that it?”

He was quiet for a long moment and Red didn’t say another word, only smoked his cigar and let the silence crawl up Andy’s spine, prickling like a sin until he finally blurted, “My mom called.”

“that so,” Red said, indifferently. Leaving the door open and as suspected, Jeff blundered right on through it.

“My dad had a heart attack and he's in the hospital,” Jeff said. A fresh wash of tears fell down his cheeks and he wiped them impatiently away on his sleeve. “She said he’s stable and he doesn’t want to see me, but she wanted to let me know.”

“sounds like a bitch move right there.” He snuck a glance and saw the protest rising on Jeff’s face in a ‘don’t call my mom’ a bitch sort of way, watched as it faded.

“Maybe it was,” Jeff said, low. He dropped his chin back on his knees, his gaze resting on wide field of untouched snow in front of him. “You’d think I’d be over it. It’s been years since he kicked me out. I want to hate him, you know? Sometimes I even do, but…it's still my dad. It still hurts, every stupid time.”

“uh huh.” Yeah, Red got that. Sometimes all the what ifs and could bes and wishes for things to be different got clotted up with reality. It happened. "so why ain't you with the honey bun or sacked up with your booty call? why are you sittin' here alone like a dumbass?"

Jeff didn't answer for a long minute, his eyes on the ground, until he finally muttered, "Because they'd try to make me feel better."

Ah.

Red only nodded, shifting to stand upright with a grunt. "gotcha. welp, wallow away, kid." He stuck his cigar between his teeth, shoved his hands in his pockets, and started off, tromping back through the snow. A low, muted sob rose behind him and Red paused long to call back, "i'll give ya a coupla hours to get it out of your system, kid. cry, scream, play country music, don't give a shit, but after that, you better be headed someplace more cheerful, you get me?"

"Okay," Jeff sniffled, all pained gratitude and fresh tears. "Thanks, Red."

"don't. i wasn't even here." Red walked out back out to the sidewalk and left the kid to it, headed in the direction of home, and if he pulled up the camera hidden on one corner of the jungle gym on his phone, eh, Jeff should know better by now than to ever think Red wasn't watching.

-finis-

[nightlight673]

Red, I think you should watch after your kids .-.

@saturnwonder

[gayspacerockart]

I had a few headcanons I wanted to draw out;

Red has his own stuffed bunny and Sans likes to take it to tease him, it usually ends up with either lots of cuddles or someone getting hurt,,,,

Also, they wear each other’s shirts when they work out, that’s why Sans is wearing a red shirt and Red is wearing blue one,,,

[noffy96]

Kustard Day 5. Alternate prompts

Kustard at your job.

I really enjoyed drawing this. What kind of package did he bring?

(Also why did i decide to do a background? its weird, uugh, i like it tho...)