#back home after an amazing two weeks in taiwan

[vividblaze]

I want to draw so bad.

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Test Results

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan

Two Sundays in a row I've woken to an amazing breakfast and then Emmett has made me another even though he spent at least five minutes this morning kicking and bitching at his fridge that was making a really scary sound. 

Afterwards I attended mass.

It's a lovely way to spend a morning.

If I just worked some gym time into my weekend I'd be all set but I'm still squeezing it in on mornings I wake up at home.

Besides, does propping my ass up in the air count as pilates? 

Maybe. 

My cell-phone rings as soon as I've taken off my pants and I have to dig for it.

Em looks slightly disappointed that he'll have to wait for his kiss but it's my Dad.

I hold my finger up.

"Hey Dad."

"Hey Finnegan, Dr. McClarren gave me your results at mass this morning, want me to open it for you or just send them along?"

He's telling me he'd like to know what it says in his unassuming way.

I'm very lucky to have so many people in my life who care about my well-being, even if it is annoying at times.

"Go ahead and open it."

"Received results from Johns Hopkins yadda yadda scans and appointment on Monday, all clear. Looks good son, iron looks good, skin swab came back fine, no abnormalities on the scans or blood work."

"Good."

I give Emmett a thumbs up.

"Hey, could you just snap a picture and send it to me?"

Maybe it'll do Emmett good to have it in black and white, sort of.

"Of course, no problem. Hey, heard back from Taiwan, deal is a go. Good job, son."

"I thought it would go through, nice to have a more conscientious supplier in the chain."

"That it is.  Well I'll let you go, we're about to sit down to brunch."

They always have a huge meal after mass, I'm not surprised he called me as soon as he got home though, the letter must have been burning a hole in his pocket although Doc would have pulled him aside and warned him if there had been anything wrong.

Still, he worries.

"Enjoy. Give mom a kiss for me."

"I'll give that lovely lady two. Talk to you later in the week."

Emmett is watching me intently and as soon as I lower my phone he says

"Good news?  A thumbs up is good, right?"

"What else could it be, silly? Yes, I'm perfectly healthy. I'll even show you the letter once it comes through."

"Not necessary, I'm just relieved."

He looks it, he really does.

His smile is a bit softer, his eyes maybe a bit brighter.

"I'm sorry you were so worried, Emmett," but I get it.

To him this is sort of my first scan results.

My parents and I were on edge for years afterwards.

You get used to it a little bit although it never really gets easy.

A stack of clear scans makes waiting for the next one less nerve-wracking but even though I've been well for a long time, this is the first time he's had to wait.

"Are you okay?"

What is going on in his head?

"Sorry, thinking about my Mom. We kept hoping, you know? But that's, sorry. I'm glad you're okay darling, really glad."

Hoping she'd get a clear scan. Right. Ouch.

I don't know what to say so I give him a hug.

While we're still in each others arms he says

"I have a confession. I know it was wrong and I'm sorry so I hope you'll let me off the hook."

I pull away just enough to get a good look at him.

"Sounds serious."

"I just stepped way over the line. Um, Monday? I, shit, I do trust you Finn, my head just went a little crazy."

Monday? Test day but I didn't see him afterwards.

"Okay, Monday."

"I may have called to see if you were at work.  Only because I know how much to hated to miss it for your appointment, I just worried..."

I pull away because that's my natural response.

Hands go to my hips even though it's really hard to look imposing wearing just Care Bear boxers.

My face is hard and I don't like looking at him like that or feeling this way.

Especially not in this house.

And then I replay all the shit I thought a few minutes ago.

He was scared. He lost his mom. It wasn't about me.

I force myself to relax and step back into his arms.

"Okay."

He wraps me up gently, as if he thinks I'll fuss if he holds on too tight.

"I'm sorry."

"I know. You wanted to make sure I was safe," because I have no doubt that some daddy went into that decision.

Yes, it was wrong but he knows that and he didn't have to tell me at all.

"Yes, that's all, Finnegan. I just needed to know you're okay."

I force my voice to be as lighthearted as possible.

"Well I am."

"And I'm glad. I'm, hell, is it too much to ask for you to send me a post card every six months? I'm going to worry about you, darling."

A post card? Oh.

I won't be here for the next round... right?

That puts me leaving into the harsh light of reality.

It's so easy for Finnegan to forget, I don't think about much when I'm in little space. 

So he's okay, well he's okay with it.

I thought maybe we'd talk when we got to that point but fine.

"Sure. I'd rather talk to you though."

"I'd love to hear from you Finnegan. Anytime. I don't want to think about it, you leaving but... damn I'm a mess today, sorry."

So maybe there's a chance of working something out.

I really, really hope we can although I have no idea what that would look like or how we'd work.

"I'm supposed to be a little more butch than this."

He's only half kidding but I don't expect him to be a tough, in control daddy all the time.

"Hey, I go to work and I don't know what I'm trying to say. I don't expect you to never need anything. Just because I'm usually little around you doesn't mean I can't step up and take care of you sometimes. We both have different sides and I don't think it's gonna work if we don't show each other both."

"No, you're right but this is your weekend."

"It's our weekend, Emmett."

"Right. You're right. I don't want to spend the rest of it worrying about things, we should celebrate your results and enjoy the afternoon."

"That's fine by me but Emmett? We can talk whenever you're ready."

I walk around the kitchen table and look out the deck door.

"Why are the sheets hanging outside?"

"Dryer bit the dust. Luckily it wasn't a load of underwear, poor Mrs. Lewis. I'll get one after payday or maybe next payday." 

He shrugs. 

"I'd call a repair guy but the set came with the house and are probably twenty years old. I can use the laundromat till then but figured those would dry just fine, warm as it is."

"Hey, when are you off this week?"

He didn't work Saturday which means he will this week and that means a day off during the week.

I've finally got his schedule worked out.

"Tuesday, why? Want me to stop by the office?"

Not why I asked but...

"Absolutely. I'll schedule myself a long lunch break."

"I'll bring something, what do you want?"

"You know what I want."

I raise my eyebrows and he laughs.

Then that's better.  

[twiceinadream]

“In another life.”

Requested: Yup

Request: Y/N always makes it to Tzuyu' concert, even when Twice wasn't famous back then and performed outdoors instead of on a stage. She was Tzuyu's first fan, making banners and stuff for her but she never reveals her identity to Tzuyu, choosing to support her in the shadows. (I wrote this fic with two endings, but I thought this one was best)

a/u: Hey, guys! I hope you are all doing well during these intense times and I hope you are staying safe. This is dedicated to a dear friend of mine, I love you Z. I hope you all enjoy! I love you all! Stay safe and wash your hands.

Parts: 1.) Fem! S/O Confesses They Love Them and 3.) “I’ll love you too.” (Alternate Ending: “Screw fate.”)

Category: Fluff and Angst

Word Count: 1.8k

It had been three long years since Tzuyu had left Taiwan to follow her dreams of becoming a singer. You had fallen out of touch with your best friend the first year she left, but still couldn’t go a day without thinking of her. Until you received a text from your friend that would change your life forever.

The text read: Hey, Y/N! Isn’t that, Tzuyu!?[JYP’s New Girl Group: TWICE Announced]

You clicked the link that led to what seemed to be the ending of a show announcing the debut of a brand new girl group. And as you searched the faces of all the girls on stage, you couldn’t help but feel your heart skip a beat when your eyes landed on Tzuyu. A wide smile forming on your lips as you began tearing up as well, ‘I knew she could do it.’

~TWICE’s First Concert~

You had never been to Korea in your life, but you were determined to be there for your best friend as you watched her dreams become a reality. The turn out was small but you made sure to take whatever pictures you could of Tzuyu while you were there cheering for her, planning to open a fansite for her when you returned to your hotel room.

-5 Years Later-

Five years had passed since Twice had debuted and you couldn’t help but feel pride swell in your chest, as you watched Tzuyu grow before your eyes. Twice had officially become Korea’s Girl Group and your small fansite had grown to be the most well known on the internet, so much that even Twice themselves were aware of you.

But, even through the years you still kept your identity secret, working under false accounts when you finally worked up the courage to finally send something to your best friend, a gift she would know in an instant.

-

Twice had just finished the first, TWICELIGHTS, and waiting for Tzuyu backstage were a bouquet of purple hibiscuses with a small note attached to it in Mandarin.

The note read: Hey there, Tzumong. It’s been years and I can’t believe you hadn’t figured out who was running your fansite. It’s been way too long and we should catch up some time when you come home. [Your phone number]

The maknae had a look of disbelief on her face as she read the note again and again. She couldn’t believe you had been supporting her this whole time and she had no idea.

Jeongyeon gave her concerned look as she placed a hand on her shoulder, “You okay, Tzuyu-ah.”

The younger nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just…a little homesick.”

-

It had been months since you sent those flowers to Tzuyu but with their world tour taking most of her time, she hadn’t had time to respond to you until now.

Tzuyu: Hi, Y/N.

I know you sent me those flowers months ago, but as you know we’ve been on tour and I haven’t gotten a chance to reach out to you until now. So, I’m here to tell you that I’ll be coming home in a few weeks and was wondering if it would be possible if you could pick me up at the airport?

Y/N: It’s no problem at all, Tzu. Of course, I understand how busy you are and I’m so happy to finally catch up after all these years. And I have some pretty exciting news that I think you’ll love.

Your smile grew as you sent the text, setting the date of Tzuyu’s arrival on your phone’s calendar. A long sigh escaped your lips as you tried your best to hide the smile that seemed to start growing on its own. You laughed softly as you put a hand in your hair, “I can’t believe I’m gonna finally see her after all these years.” Your smile began to fade, a thought crossing your mind, ‘What if she really did wait?’

You shook your head as you dismissed the thought, now solely focused on waiting for Tzuyu’s arrival.

-

When the day had finally arrived after weeks of waiting, you were beyond ecstatic to see your best friend again. Doing your best to push the memories of the last days you two had spent together all those years ago, shaking off the feeling of what it felt like to have your heart broken.

You closed your eyes to clear away the thoughts as you stood waiting in the terminal, your heart beating out of your chest when your eyes found Tzuyu’s staring right back at you. Your nervousness seemed to disappear in an instant as you and Tzuyu ran towards each other, catching her in a hug, “I can’t believe you're finally back!”

The now idol smiled as she pulled back slightly, looking you over, “You haven’t changed a bit. I’m so happy to see you again, Y/N!” You couldn’t hide the wide smile on your face as you grabbed her suitcase for her and walked her out to your car, placing her bags in the trunk as you got in and began driving back to your home.

(Which you had insisted Tzuyu stayed in while she was here.)

As you drove, the two of you made small talk as Tzuyu stared out the window, “Hey, look at that. It’s our old high school.” You let out a grim laugh as an awkward silence filled your car.

“Uh, I hope you’re hungry. My girlfriend is making beef noodle soup for us.” At the mention of your girlfriend, Tzuyu’s eyes couldn’t help but widen as she suddenly felt a dull pain in her chest.

“Wait. Girlfriend?” You cringed as you gripped the steering wheel mentally slapping yourself as you let it slip.

“Yeah...um,” you cleared your throat awkwardly refusing to look at the girl beside you, “that was the surprise I talked about. I met a girl two years after you left and we just kinda hit it off. Her name’s Yerin and she’s amazing, Tzu, I know you’re gonna love her.” The maknae nodded as the dull pain in her chest seemed to stab into her heart.

She forced a smile as you kept driving, “That sounds great, Y/N, I’m really happy for you. I can’t wait to meet her.”

-

When the two of you arrived back at your home, you quickly went to open Tzuyu’s door before rushing to the trunk to retrieve her bags. When you opened the door to your home, you were hit with the smell of food in the air, “We’re home!” You yelled as a girl suddenly appeared from another room, an excited look on her face as she looked at Tzuyu.

Your girlfriend approached her slowly, bowing slightly, “It’s an honor to meet you, Tzuyu, I’m Yerin. I’m a Once myself, and it’s crazy to think you and Y/N were best friends in high school!”

You smiled as you set your friend’s bags by the door, placing a quick kiss on your girlfriend's cheek, “The soup smells amazing! Thank you.” Yerin smiled as she wrapped an arm around your waist, the action catching Tzuyu’s attention as she felt her heart sink.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Yerin. Y/N was telling me so many great things about you on the way here.” Tzuyu said as she sat across from the two of you, “Thank you again for lunch, it smells delicious.”

Yerin smiled proudly as she leaned against you, “It’s no problem, just an old family recipe Y/N insisted that you would love.”

Tzuyu nodded as she picked up the chopsticks beside her and began eating, frowning internally at the taste of the food. A defeated feeling welling up in her chest, ‘And she’s a good cook too.’

-

As the week progressed it went on without a hitch, the awkwardness of the first day long forgotten as you and Tzuyu made up for all the time you two had lost. Spending most days reliving your high school years and talking of all that had happened while you were apart. But with all that aside, Tzuyu was also taken back to wondering why she had ever let you go.

The three of you sat on the roof of your home as you guys stargazed. Listening to all the adventures Tzuyu had gone on with her members, “Yeah, America was so fun to visit again, but, it was even better when Mina Unnie had joined us in Japan.” Tzuyu blushed slightly as the honorific slipped out by accident, making you and Yerin laugh.

“Too much Korean on the brain, huh, Tzumong.” You poked her shoulder playfully as you smiled.

Making Tzuyu laugh along awkwardly, “Yeah, I guess I don’t come back as much as I think I do.” A pained smile on her face as she took in your profile, regret flooding her veins as she looked at Yerin’s head on your shoulder, ‘Why did I ever say, no, to you Y/N?’

-

After that night, the rest of the week seemed to pass by in a blur. And before the two of you knew it, it was time for Tzuyu to return to Korea.

You looked at your friend one last time before setting down her suitcase on the front porch, “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you back?”

Tzuyu took in the hopeful look in your eyes, but shook her head, “No, I’m alright Y/N. I’ve caused you both enough trouble this week.” Your smile faltered slightly making Tzuyu blush, “Sorry. What I’m trying to say is, ‘Thank you.’” The idol looked between you and Yerin, “The both of you.”

You frowned slightly as you nodded, “Of course, it’s been…” The sound of a horn honking caught the three of you off guard as you looked at the cab in the street.

“Well that’s for me.” Tzuyu smiled as she leaned down to hug Yerin, before placing a hand on you, “Thank you again, Y/N, for supporting me all this time. Hopefully we can do this again soon.” The maknae squeezed your shoulder before picking up her suitcase and making the walk to the taxi waiting for her.

You couldn’t help but notice the ache that began to fill your chest as you watched Tzuyu hand the driver her luggage, turning away to open the door. Without thinking, you ran down from the porch and towards the cab, “Tzu, wait!”

At the sound of your voice, she had just enough time to turn as you barreled into her, your arms wrapping around her waist and shoulders as you hugged her tight. You buried your head into her shoulder as a few tears slipped down your cheek, soaking into her shirt as she grasped the back of your shirt. Tzuyu held back her tears as she rested her head in the crook of your neck, holding you closer.

You inhaled sharply to stop your tears, before pulling away to whisper in Tzuyu’s ear, “In another life, Tzuyu, I promise: we’d love each other too.”

As the words left your mouth, you moved out of her embrace, a sad smile on your lips as you turned away from her. A dull pain filled your chest as you heard the door to the taxi close and pull away from the curb. You felt your heart pull in the direction of the cab as you thought of the part of your heart that would always remain with Tzuyu. A similar feeling also seemed to fill Tzuyu, as she felt her heart seize in her chest.

Since it seemed as though a part of her heart would always be with you too.

[shijiujun]

2020Because Of You: Episode 1

My overall thoughts on this: Guys I think if you liked Trapped, you may actually like this one? For all of you who are bored with like the BL dramas that are set in school, this is FOR YOU. I honestly got Shao Fei x Tang Yi vibes in the show-

We got some gangster & kidnapping parts, we got the rich CEO part down

A dumb but cute and brave main protagonist paired with like a cold CEO (Lee Si Kang has been killing me this entire week)

A CP2 that is really cute together like fluffy cute tgt 

And then a CP3 that fills the school/academic part lmao

And it’s only 12 min per episode which is too damn short IMO but... these six guys are honestly cute as heck. I cannot. Stebeee is dead. Stebeee’s heart has not pounded this fast since Chris and Jake, okay?!

If you don’t know what the hell Stebeee is going on about:

Show synopsis (altho Viki has an added synopsis that the official accounts for the show didn’t include at all)

Character and CP profiles

Viki’s subs are available quite fast after the ep airs so good for all of you who need subs

First thing to note is that: EVERYONE THAT SURROUNDS BIG BRO YUAN JUN CHENG (short form YJC from now on) speaks Korean I’m honestly laughing like the filming is so Taiwanese and but Lee Si Kang is full on kdrama makjang plot mode it’s AMAZING and he’s totally talking in Korean (they didn’t dub him over or anything) and either the brothers or Lin Xun (his soon-to-be bf) speaks to him in butchered Korean (although Muji’s accent is pretty on point not too bad, Bro 2 is hilarious on this aspect) and everyone else who doesn’t speak Korean SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND YJC WHEN HE SPEAKS IN KOREAN EVEN SOME OLD-ASS GANGSTER UNCLE DUDE WHO LOOKS LIKE HE’S NEVER SPOKEN TO A KOREAN 

Opening and ending songs: Meh... not really my cup of tea

Brief summary below

We start off with some emo looking-out-of-the-window scene with YJC and he’s speaking in Korean as he tells his two bros YJD (2nd bro) and YJP (3rd bro) that people are trying to take over the Yuan family business within the family and targeting the three of them for that - Their relatives especially are saying that the three of them are too young to take over the business - This is all precipitated by YJC coming back to Taiwan instead of staying put in Korea

Big bro YJC says that their second uncle has already made a move by kidnapping him (in the next scene) the moment he landed in Korea, and 2nd bro YJD is like wtf? Poor 3rd bro YJP is like all sad and confused at the side

Then the episode is mostly focused on YJC and Lin Xun meeting as YJC is trying to escape from A KIDNAPPING ATTEMPT BY HIS SECOND UNCLE, WHERE GANGSTERS HAVE BEEN HIRED TO KIDNAP HIM LMAOOOO and second gangster uncle is all like you youngsters why are you coming back to snatch the main family business, and YJC is like I’m just here to take back what belongs to my mom

Anw he manages to escape and as he’s running, OF COURSE he bumps into Lin Xun who’s just you know, lounging there on his bike on the next street

Cue beautiful sunlight as YJC totally pins LX to the bike by ‘accident’ and here it’s half Korean half Chinese as they speak and then dumbass LX is all like ‘I’ll protect you’, to a stranger he’s literally JUST MET like wtf (okay but if that stranger was as handsome as YJC is, I’d do that too maybe) 

And his way of protecting the man is to offer the bad guys money BUT SO LITTLE MONEY?!!! EVEN YJC IS FACEPALMING LIKE HE’S PROBABLY THE RICHEST ASSHOLE IN THE COUNTRY

They manage to fight the guys off and escape on LX’s bike, and then LX just brings this stranger back to his home (pls do not imitate this omggg dangerous behaviour irl)

And ooooh I recognise that LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT LOOK

So we find out that YJC can speak a bit of Chinese, but tbh LSK’s pronunciation aint that great, so they’re doing a mix of like Chinese and Korean, and idk if this is going to be the case for all the eps from now onwards but it looks like YJC might continue speaking in Korean while we believe that everyone around him can uds Korean - YJC can understand both Chinese and Hokkien as well lmao

AHHHHHH CP2 is cute if not for the pseudo-incest thing

CP3 IS THE DUMB COUPLE THEY ARE SO DUMB?!!! HOW OLD IS YJP THAT HE CANNOT WRITE PROPERLY AT HIS AGE?!!! WHAT IS THIS

And then we have to wait for the next episode happening tomorrow XD 

[urirealvibekiller]

ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ this is an idol life ship for @555luck​ !! hope you enjoy, beautiful <3 

__________

ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ your entertainment group 

ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ your pre-debut days 

you have a big passion and enthusiasm for music and performing and you auditioned for several companies, including sm and big hit. 

you got accepted into almost all the companies that you auditioned for but you ultimately made the decision to join jyp entertainment as a trainee. 

as a trainee, you were a little bit intimidating, especially at first, and some trainees misunderstood you. because of your private nature, you were also seen as somewhat mysterious. some of the trainees even tried to start some drama with you but you were better than that and did not engage in any sort of petty drama. you were here to debut and make your dreams of becoming a k-pop artist come true, not to make enemies. 

however, you did have your own groups of friends and with them, you showed a softer side of your personality. 

you may be private and reserved but that, along with your talents, was what made you a pretty popular trainee. no matter some thought about you, everyone recognized your talents and honesty. 

you trained for only nine months before debuting. 

ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ your position(s), role(s), and what you’re known for

your standard positions are main dancer, lead vocalist, and center.

you’re also known as the ‘ice princess’ for your reserved and private personality. however, fans also respect and admire you for your talents and your honesty. they also love how open-minded and non-judgmental you are. 

ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ your group

there are six members in your group, including you. 

your group members (in order of age) are: 

sena is from dublin, ireland. she is half-korean and half-irish. she’s the oldest member in the group and is the main vocalist and visual of the group. she’s also the ‘mom’ of the group, known for her caring and nurturing personality. she also models as a side-career. 

dallia is from seoul, south korea. she actually went to an international school so she can speak english fluenty. she’s the leader, lead dancer, vocalist, and face of the group. she’s known as the ‘dad’ of the group and  is known for her amazing leadership skills and calm personality. 

soyi is from busan, south korea. she’s the vocalist and rapper. she’s the fake maknae of the group and is known for her shy nature but through time, she has become more outgoing and expressive. 

ling is from taiwan. she’s the main rapper and face of the group. she’s the mood-maker and a social butterfly as she has a lot of idol friends. 

lila is from bangkok, thailand. she’s the visual, maknae, dancer, and center of the group. she has the least training time at only six months. she is that unintentionally funny member that gets teased a lot by members. she used to be a child actress and model back in her home country. 

ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ your group’s concept

you’re known for your aesthetic music videos as well as your fun, catchy music that has very powerful and inspiring lyrics. your group also has a lot of simple and smooth yet very controlled and quite difficult choreography. 

your debut song is similar to the tune of gashina by sunmi. 

ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ your female best-friend

somi (vocalist) || she’s one of your first friends at jyp and even when she left, you guys continue to be best-friends. 

you meet up a lot at her place since she is a solo artist and doesn’t have to share her dorm with a lot of other girls. so many sleepovers.

you’re pretty much like sisters. 

ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ your male best-friend

changbin from stray kids || you guys practically trained together and this is one of those opposites-attract friendships - he is very outgoing and lively while you’re more reserved but somehow you get along so so well.

you admire and love each other like siblings would.

you’re very supportive of each other and you often mention each other a lot in interviews. 

ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ who you’re secretly dating

kai from exo and super m || you guys first met when you were going to do a special collaboration stage for mama award shows. 

you got close after practicing together and you ended up exchanging numbers on the last day of your practice. 

fans loved your performance and the chemistry was undeniably strong that a lot of fans started shipping you two together. 

you guys ignored that and continued to be friends for a while and hanged out a few times when you’re both free. after about a year, he confessed and asked you out. 

as you’re a very private person, you wanted to keep the relationship private and kai was also worried that public attention would negatively affect the relationship, he agreed. 

your dates are typically indoors; he has a private apartment rented just for you guys to spend time together away from prying eyes. 

a lot of midnight drives too <3 

ع˖⁺ ⋆ ୭ miscellaneous

your group got your first win after just three weeks of debuting

sunwoo from the boyz has named you as his ideal type. 

honestly, the boyz as a group is a fan of your group. they have covered your dances and songs a lot. 

__________

thank you for requesting !! have a beautiful day/night <3

[mymemoirs]

Unrecorded Memories and Missing Taiwan #3

Gonna continue from the second part of my Taiwan trip. However, this post is definitely not going to be the last one regarding this trip since I went there for a whole month and I would like to go into the details so that I could reread this post one day. After all, this is my attempt to record those memories even though its already vague by now as two years have passed by. 

After the first weekend spent during my AI class, we had our last week of the class in which we were given group project and also interact with local middle school students near the campus and engage with them. 

7) I can’t remember much of what I’ve learnt in class but I remember we went to another field trip during our weekdays, to be specific, it was on Tuesday, 10th of July, 2018. There was a middle school near the Asia University campus site and  after our morning class session, everyone were guided by our TAs and professors to Taichung Guangfu Junior High School. I think it took us about 10-15 minutes walk away, it was really that close.

A Picture of The Taichung Guangfu Junior High Students and AI Program 2018 Students

The reason we went to the school was because Taichung Guangfu Junior High School old building was the one converted into the now Earthquake Museum we went last weekend. After having its building destroyed and turned into a museum, the school built a new building instead. I think the professor wanted to show us the new building that have been built for the school and let local students interact with expat students from the exchange program. 

When we arrived there, we were taken into a classroom. We were told to sit in a group and I happened to sit with Guy, Xin, and Hussain (an Indian student). We hit off pretty well and each of us was very competitive, since we’re given quizzes and games to play during our time there. I think the school is amazing since they were able to utilize various digital techs for the game and quizzes. 

Guy, Hussain, Xin and Me.

I don’t remember much of the details, but I think we won since each of us were given a notebook. It was really fun for us since we’re not only answering quizzes but we also went outside to do a bar code hunt (if I’m not wrong).

8) After the short field trip, we all went back to the campus to go back to our respective dorm. However, on our way back, we stumbled upon a newly opened restaurant and they were having a free fried rice or noodle promotion. So, almost everyone stopped by, I think even the professors and TAs too. Well, how could we say ‘no’ to freebies right? We all happened to be hungry at that time, *laughs*. Although, I had to admit that it’s memorable since the AI students never ate together, at least not as crowded as that day. Most of us sometimes just eat with a group of friends in different restaurants nearby the campus, since everyone have their own preference. Having this kind of activities actually help me bond with others. 

Eating Fried Rice/ Noodle at a Nearby Restaurant With Other Students.

9) The next day, we moved on with more data science materials that are very alien to me. I can’t remember much of the materials now since it’s more on practical skills but I guess my lack of understanding towards the subject was due to how little I was exposed to this topics before. I think, if I were to relearn it today, it will be much easier for me to understand now compared to last time. 

During that day, we were given details on our group project and everyone was asked to form a group. Since Guy were sitting beside me, he asked Xin and I if we wanted to join the team he’s forming. Apparently, he’s forming a group with Hussain. Xin and I agreed to join his team, because to be honest, both of us didn’t have any basics in computer science, let alone data science or AI. 

It’s funny, you see, since the group members: Xin, Hussain, Guy and I, were previously in one group too during the game session yesterday, and I think our team’s name is “Group 2″ in the game session, so we named our team as “Group 2″ again for this group project. During the game session, it was really fun doing group activities with them, and now that we’re having a chance to work together as a team, I was really excited to work with them again. Although, to be honest, I didn’t do much exactly. 

Group 2 Focusing on Their Project.

Hussain did the most work out of everyone, since he’s the one with a background in computer science. Guy did his best to accommodate Hussain, with his tech (cause apparently he’s the “Apple Guy”) stuff, since his laptop was the most powerful in running data science projects among the four of us. Besides, he also had a little exposure in machine learning (even when he’s actually a student with a degree related to design) so he was the second in command to help Hussain. Xin was a student in design too, so she was in charge of our power point presentation slides. The slides she made was beautiful. 

While me? Well, I felt like a burden to my team because I can’t do anything at all. It seems like I’m the only one at loss at what I should do, so I kept on asking what this and that means when Hussain was coding and I think that kind of hinders him so he said that he would explain to me later on. Although, I might not help much, I tried my best to be there as a teammate. We ate together and accompanied each other throughout the project. To be honest, I really enjoyed the times we spent together. I’m not sure about how they felt though. Nevertheless, I admired each of them as I get to know them better. They were one year older than me and they told me a lot of their experiences. It an was insightful moment.

10) So, the day of our presentation came the next day. We are only given less than 24 hours to finish the project, which is very short. I guess, we’re lucky that Hussain finished it on time and Xin managed to create the slides on such a short period of time. Our project is about image classification for breasts cancer. Of course, the datasets and the code Hussain used for the project can be found in the internet. Although most of this can be search up on the internet, I don’t think I will be able to do it at that time on that short amount of time, because I have no idea on how to search the code and even use it. 

Xin Turn To Present Her Part.

Our presentation are held in a presentation room. Everyone in my group, including me were given the opportunity to present about the project. I was the first to present since I get the easiest one which is an introduction to AI. After the presentation, questions are being asked by classmates and professors. Of course, only Hussain were able to answer it. I think I vaguely remembered he said that the time given were short and he admits that his teammates are still not familiar with how to use AI. Well, almost every team that give out their presentation complaint the same thing - the amount of time given were just too short. 

By the end of our presentation, our professor who was assessing everyone’s presentation said that there will be presents for the three teams with the highest score. I wasn’t expecting anything but our group turns out to rank second highest and we were given gifts to share with one another. It was really surprising for us but since we were competitive, we feel a sense of achievement.  We were really happy, and I really enjoyed working together with them so I asked for a picture together as a team (laughs). 

Group 2 Presents Their Presentation Second and Was Ranked Second! The Most Diverse Team Among The Other Teams (Consists of Indian, Indonesian, Thai, and Singaporean).

Honestly, I would love to spend more time together with them but the presentation day was on Thursday and it was the second last day of our AI class. The day after tomorrow, both Guy and Hussain will go home since they didn’t take any other class aside from this AI class. Only me and Xin took another class that will start after the AI class but we took a separate class. Xin took Product Design class while I took Creativity and Entrepreneurship Class. Boohoo.

A Group Picture with The Professors After Our Presentation

11) The next day was our farewell party which was held by our professors. It was really a simple one. There are food, beverages, music, etc. Most entertainment were provided by our Indian classmates, while the rest of us just sat and watched. It was really fun to see them sang and danced happily. Even though it was short, it was a memorable experience. I did take a video of my friends dancing, but alas, I don’t think I managed to save it on my hard disk. 

Receiving A Certificate of Completion For The AI Course

I think the AI course are memorable because of the classmates and friends I knew from there, especially my teammates from Group 2. I was really sad that we had to part so I decided to give them handmade letters that I crafted and wrote on my own. I remember I went to the convenience store and office supplies store just to find the materials that I was going to use for the letters. I was happy that I managed to give them something, even though it was just a letter. 

Anyway, I’ll continue the time when I’m in Creativity and Entrepreneurship Class in my next post! Adieu for now!

- Reina

[sherlock-study]

another update 08/25/19

Took a long break from studyblr because I am absolutely NOT studying before medical school (aside from the month at UBC VSP).

Back from Vancouver! I spent a month at UBC attending the VSP in Medicine. Had a lot of fun and I just received my grades for the two courses I took, 95% and 94% so I am pretty happy. I learned a lot and got to explore Vancouver as well (even went to Seattle for 4 days with a couple of friends). One course was a normal pharmacology course and the other was about medical literature analysis which is pretty cool)

Bubble is fine. And fat. My dad Jeff took care of him while I was in Canada. I don’t know what or how much he fed him, but the fish got...thicc. And he seems to like my dad better now. Fuck, Jeff.

Not gonna lie, Bubble is freaking BEAUTIFUL. I don’t know if he went through some sort of fish puberty while I was away, but his tail became SO pretty and colorful. He’s also more aggressive and better at the bubble nest thing.

Moving next week! There’s a 3-day orientation before medical school officially starts. We’ll drive down to Kaohsiung (a four-hour drive) with all my shit on move-in day, before orientation starts. I’ll probably start packing tomorrow or the day after. Still trying to figure out how to transport the fish. Or maybe I should just leave him home since he obviously likes my dad better.

And yes, I am planning on creating more original content on this blog. But the past six months have been hectic and not a lot of studying was involved tbh. As soon as I settle into med school I will start thinking about what to post. Fill my inbox with post ideas!

God bless the good folks in Hong Kong fighting for their freedom. I follow the news everyday and their strength amazes me. I hope nothing like that ever happens in Taiwan.

[sasspiria]

(The Odds Of This Are) Astronomical - Chapter Eight

Fandom: Far Cry 3

Pairing: Jason Brody/Vaas Montenegro (Vaason)

Tags/warnings:Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence,Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics,True Mates,Alpha Vaas,Omega Jason,Biting,Grant Lives,Accidental Bonding,Angst and Porn,Porn With Plot,Scenting,Rough Body Play,Don't Examine This Too Closely,Canon-Typical Violence,Intercrural Sex,Claiming Bites,Snowballing,Deepthroating,Excessive Drinking,Buck Being Creepy,Knotting

Summary: SummaryOmegas were uncommon but they weren't rare by any means. True mates, however, were an entirely different story. The odds of any person having one were astronomical at best. When Jason finds that he does have a true mate, he should feel amazing about being so lucky. A part of him wants to feel excited, damn all the consequences, but at the same time it just feels like the universe is giving him a hard smack to the face when his true alpha comes in the form in a psychopathic, murdering, drug addled pirate that kidnapped him and his friends. All Jason can hope is that he can use Vaas' manic affections towards him to his advantage and save the rest of them.

((read below the cut or on ao3 here))

By the time that Vaas came back to their cabin, Jason was huddled beneath whatever blankets that they had. He was shaking like a leaf, sweating profusely as he whimpered out Vaas’ name. The alpha cursed to himself underneath his breath, feeling like he had already devastatingly fucked up with Jason. He hadn’t expected Jason to go through a heat – at least not so soon. Didn’t American omegas load themselves up with drugs, blockers and suppressants, so that they didn’t need to deal with this shit every month or so?

Vaas didn’t really have the time to mull any of this over though, as Jason’s situation was dire enough that it took up all of his attention. The omega in front of him was weak and exhausted looking, tossing and turning on the mattress in a quiet fit. He pulled the blankets off of Jason, sitting the other up before he moved to less than gently peel his clothes off of him. Once Jason was completely naked, he stripped himself down and carried the omega off to a private, rudimentary shower.

He turned the water on and lay Jason down on his chest, hoping that the chill of the water would be enough to bring the omegas’ temperature down to something normal. It only took a few minutes of sitting there with him until Jason was jostled out of the feverish state that he had been put in. He looked around the room and blinked a few times in confusion as he registered what was happening around him, “Vaas?” He exclaimed in a lost tone of voice. “What’s going on, what are you- what are we doing here?” He gestured around the room with a sweeping gesture of his arm.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were gonna be going through your heat, huh?” He playfully smacked Jason’s cheek, “What if I didn’t get back here for you? Huh, Jason, what would you have done then?” He snapped at the omega, true concern seeping out of him, even as he gripped Jasons’ hip in a less than gentle manner and repeatedly asked him what the fuck was wrong with him.

“It wasn’t supposed to!” He argued back, tone full of indignant anger. “I got an implant right before I left for Taiwan.” He pushed his forearm in Vaas’ face, pointing towards where the small dermal implant was still embedded in his skin. “I don’t know why this happened. Maybe it’s defective. With my luck, it probably is.” He answered honestly. “I thought that… well, I don’t really know what I thought was happening but this was the last thing to come to mind for me.”

He might have expected Vaas to be angry with him, or at the very least annoyed that he couldn’t keep up with his own body and even though he wasn’t entirely surprised by the bout of cackling that Vaas broke into, it didn’t stop him from glaring daggers at his partner. “What?” He snapped at the alpha, sliding away from him so that he could get a little bit more space to breathe and think about where he was, both physically and emotionally. The cold water helped him center himself, made him feel less like he had water on the brain.

It took a few minutes for his laughter to tone down until he could actually speak, “Hermano, Jason, Mi Amante… you can be so fucking stupid I swear.” He responded quickly before he dove into kiss him in a rough, possessive manner. “But it’s okay, I got you now, I’ll help you through this.” He hummed into Jason’s ear, before kissing him again.

“Whatever asshole.” He grumbled to himself after he pulled away from the contact. Vaas gently tugged at his arm to pull him in closer. He put forth effort not to laugh as Vaas kept trying to pull him backwards where he was still sitting under the water. “You know what? Actually I blame you for this. Somehow this is all your fault.” He stated, more out of spite then anything else. It wasn’t totally unrealistic that bonding with Vaas might have messed with his hormones and suddenly triggered a heat in him. It wasn’t a common occurrence but it wasn’t unheard of.

He was pulled back one more time and toppled over until he was precariously perched against Vaas’ hip, this time he decided not to pull away. Vaas kept giving him attention and his icy, overstimulated mood melted away into something softer. He rested his head against the alpha’s chest tiredly and listened to the rambunctious sound of his heartbeat He could hear distantly through the fog that was reassembling within his mind and clouding his thoughts, Vaas asking him if he was feeling better now.

“I’m…” He trailed off, not really knowing how he should answer. He didn’t think that he was ‘okay’, but going through this never felt ‘okay’ for him at the start. Heats, for him, were always a jarring experience. Even when he had someone to share them with, he didn’t like how out of control and weak that they had him feeling. In the end he ended up settling on,“I need you.” Because that was something the two of them could easily understand.

Hoyt’s fingers drummed in agitation against the glass of brandy in his hand. Things hadn’t been going as well for him in the past few weeks – one of the hostages had escaped and kept trying to disrupt his operations. He had lost hostages, radio towers and outposts on a near constant basis since he had arrived on the island. He might have been impressed, if it hadn’t already started affecting his bottom line.

When Hoyt had first arrived on the Rook islands and set up his business, smuggling and trafficking out tourists and natives, he had implemented a system to keep generating product and workers for him. He had men scope out potential hostages at clubs and bars in Bangkok – stupid, privileged children that were too naive to notice the red flags when they agreed on tours, or skydiving lessons or work opportunities.

Then the pirates under Vaas’ control would terrorize them into submission – or kill them if they made too much trouble – until Hoyt had the opportunity to send some of his privateers to take them to whoever was going to buy them from him. And if one of the hostages got away, they never got far. For the longest time, this system that he had had worked out with no failure and very little problems – he had an iron grip on the islands and the natives were forced to either keep their heads down or join ranks with him.

He was not too happy having his system disrupted and that was why he had called Buck up. Buck was a friend to him – had been for a long time – as well as one of his highest ranking privateers, and he knew well what a psychopath that the man was. But that was just what he needed right now, someone willing to get everything done without any second thought. Vaas was incredibly useful to him, but he was erratic and emotional, not very good at luring someone into a trap. And besides, he was usually busy keeping the northern islands more or less stable.

Buck’s maniacal grin doubled, stretching across his face in a glib sort of way as Hoyt downed his third or fourth drink since they had sat down together. The man was on edge, the kind of edge that only came when you had not experienced failure on a large scale before. If Buck was a different person, he might have worried about setting Hoyt off even further, but he had no fear and spoke to Hoyt evenly and without fear of retribution. He asked Hoyt what he knew of the man, “Snow White,” the natives and certain pirates had started calling him.

Rumors circulated around the Rook islands about the man, about this Snow White – how he was liberating the island piece by piece, allowing the natives to recover their homeland and live free from fear for the first time in twenty years. No wonder Hoyt was worried, he thought, if any of those rumors held any water, he’d be coming to the southern islands soon, coming for him personally.

Hoyt shook his head, “The only thing I know is that, whoever this little piece of filth is, they want their little friends back. That’s their weakness.” He explained, leaning in a bit with a conspiratorial edge to his voice. “He’ll be coming to you soon, for the boy you bought off from me.” He added, “And when that happens, I’ll need you to take care of him.”

“If he looks anything like that pretty omega that Vaas bought from that group, then I’ll be happy to take care of him.” The Australian responded with a harsh laugh, thinking fondly on his meeting with the omega. What was his name again? Jensen? No. Jason, that was right.

Jason had peaked his interest in a way that no other omega had before – when omegas usually bored them with their sweetness and gentility, Jason’s mean spirited and erratic nature had drawn him in. If it hadn’t been for the fact that he had already been claimed by Vaas, he might have lured the omega down into his home and had him keep his other boy company. He hadn’t had that opportunity though, so maybe he should just try his luck with Snow White. *** Back on the other side of the islands, Vaas and Jason were just getting into the swing of things with Jason’s heat. The two of them had quarantined themselves off in their room so as to avoid any unnecessary interruptions from pirates or natives or who the fuck ever thought that they had the right to run in and interrupt them. The only one of the pirates with any access to them was Carlos, as he was the only one that Vaas trusted enough not to try and jump his omega on sight – and he was only allowed to enter every few hours and bring them food, water and other things that they might have needed.

Jason had stripped down naked hours ago and kept himself that way – his skin was still heated in an ever present sort of way, so he did as much as he could to keep himself cool – and Vaas had done much the same. The two of them were settled down on a mattress, Vaas gripping Jason’s hip in a vice like grip as the two of them slept together.

Of the two of them, Jason was the first of them to wake up. He shimmied his way out of the other’s arms with no small amount of effort on his part and bounded over to the shower to cool his skin down. He stood under the freezing cold water for a few minutes, until he felt more or less normal again. Once he was out of the space and somewhat dried off, Jason sighed and crawled back over to Vaas and straddled the alpha’s hips before leaning down and kissing down the side of his face to wake him up.

In moments, Jason found himself pushed back onto the ground with Vaas climbing on top of him and peppering his face with kisses until Jason was left a giggling mess. He batted away at the alpha with his hands for a few minutes before he gave into the affectionate contact and settled for antagonistically kissing him back in earnest. He felt himself being pulled back onto the mattress while Vaas continued groping and kissing him everywhere and anywhere that he could get his hands and mouth on.

His mind was getting fuzzy again, he thought, and he needed Vaas to stop kissing him and start fucking him within the minute. Jason pushed at Vaas’ chest to get some distance between the two of them before he broke off the kiss before he pushed himself up so that he was sitting on his knees.

He lost sense of himself just then and made a few small, helpless noises as he tried to figure out how to ask for what he wanted without embarrassing himself in front of the alpha or falling flat on his face before he could say anything at all, literally. He felt Vaas squeezing his hip in a tender and comforting sort of way and that drew him back to reality. He let out a shaky breath and explained what he needed, that he needed Vaas fucking him and he needed that right then. He pulled Vaas’ face towards his own and kissed him hard on the mouth as he moved to sit on the alphas’ lap. He kept kissing him as the two of them ground their cocks together until they were both hard and aroused.

He felt Vaas’ fingers dip inside of Jason’s entrance, gently thrusting into them as they kept on kissing. When they pulled apart from the kiss, Jason was leaking slick and mewling quietly. The alpha steadied him gently and asked if he was alright. “’S just overwhelming.” He explained in a small and timid voice. Vaas grabbed a hold of his dick and held it steady as Jason moved to ease it inside of himself.

Almost immediately, Jason felt a sense of relief at having his alpha inside him, fucking him slowly and purposefully. It didn’t take him long to cum, his heat had him already in an almost near constant state of being on the edge of an orgasm. He slumped over after he came and Vaas moved them so that Jason was on his stomach with his legs pressed together as the alpha took over and fucked him hard.

The omega sighed and allowed himself to go along with the motions of it, allow himself the pleasure of being fucked until the alpha came, his cock swelling inside of him and locking the two of them together. He finally felt good, like he was a whole person again and not like some brain-rotted omega that couldn’t stand to think of anything more than being knotted. Vaas was laying on top him and they were locked together by his knot when he fell asleep, utterly content with himself.

He slept for a few hours at least, when he woke up again, the room was distinctly chillier – Jason guessed that it must have been dusk already – and Vaas was across the room putting his pants on. “You going somewhere?” He asked as he pulled himself up into a sitting position, cocking his head curiously at the man.

“Some of my boys took down a fucking cruise ship,” He explained, “I’m gonna go see what those rich fucks had on board. Don’t worry, I’m not dealing with slaves right now, they can handle a few pussy ass trust fund kids themselves. I won’t be gone long.”

“Okay, bring back something nice.” He hummed, not really thinking of anything else to say. So Jason was alone again and he didn’t like being alone when he was like this so he immediately looked around to find something to occupy himself with. Luckily, Vaas had an old, beaten up TV and a collection of movies of all genres recorded on VHS tapes.

He seemed to have everything from Cinderella to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre tucked away in a few cardboard boxes. He wondered if Vaas had a lot of moments where these came in handy. When he was strung out on something and could barely get himself off of the floor, he’s sure they came in handy for him then, just like they came in handy for him now. Jason crawled forward and dug through the boxes, pulling out a heavy, emotional looking drama from the bottom of the box.

He put the movie in and settled down on his stomach, lazily watching every half-baked plot line that the film haphazardly threw at him. When Vaas returned to the room, he settled down next to Jason and took to less than gently pressing kisses at his neck and shoulders. “What’d you put on?” He asked, in between kisses and light nips of teeth.

Jason laughed, “Fuck if I know. I just grabbed something.” He replied lazily, allowing himself to be coaxed into a state of relaxation by a man that usually had solely the opposite effect on everybody else that he came into contact with.

Despite the fact that the culture of the islands had changed a bit since he had been working on liberating them, Bad Town was still a filthy cesspool filled with murderers, trafficked prostitutes, gambling dens and just generally all sorts of violence going on.

Maybe that was just what it was always going to be like, Grant couldn’t be sure, but it was probably a good thing that it stayed just the way it was. At least for now. He didn’t want Buck being scared away from the town before Grant could get a hold of him and find out where Keith was.

He walked through the bar, curiously gazing around for someone that seemed out of place – he doubted that one of Hoyt’s privateers was a local, after all. He was interrupted from his (hopefully) low key sleuthing about the place that he heard a low whistle, followed by a chuckle. He turned around for the source of the voice and came into contact with a sparsely – and almost inappropriately so at that – dressed man.

He eyed Grant in a predatory sort of way – like he was cruising for him or something. Grant made it a point not to roll his eyes or walk away from the man outright when he started speaking in smarmy Australian accent but it struck him just then that this might be the very man that he was looking for. So he stuck it through, waited to hear whatever the man had to say, before he started in on interrogating him.“Well, it isn’t my birthday, then you must be Christmas.” He said.

“Uh-huh,” He said, utterly unimpressed with the man. “You must be Buck.” He inferred, watching Buck’s eyebrows raise in a questioning tone of voice. “I’m here for my friend. Keith.”

Buck stood up, like he was going to leave, “No, I’m sorry, doesn’t ring a bell.” He replied in a dismissive sort of way.

“You bought him from Hoyt.” Grant struggled to keep his composure, but he was getting frustrated with the Australian’s defiant peacocking. Jason would have been better at this, he thought, he always had a good poker face.

The Australian chuckled, “Ah, him?” He murmured as he did a half-turn to face Grant. “He said his name was-” and he covered his mouth and pantomimed a gagging scream.

Grant stifled a disgusted scoff, “You’re hilarious.” He deadpanned as Buck thought to walk off, probably back to his home – probably to where Keith was sitting in terror, probably to cause more of that terror to him. “You’re gonna give him back to me.” He said, speaking in an authoritative sort of way.

That stopped Buck dead in his tracks and he did a half-turn to look back at Grant. He muttered something to himself before he stretched his arms out grandiosely over the back of the chair he was sitting on. “Alright, let’s get down to Brass Tax. You must be Grant Brody.”

“I just want Keith!” He snapped in exasperation.

“Grant, Grant, Grant. Patience!” He chided the American, who was grinding his teeth down to nubs in his frustration. “We’re not all savages here! We’re just businessmen. Responsible capitalists! I’ve got something that you want? Right? That’s granted, and you’ve got something that I want.”

“And what is that?” He asked, already seething that he didn’t already have Keith’s location so he couldn’t just take this pervert down. He stepped towards Buck, ready to strike when the Australian let out a low whistle.

“Temper, temper, Grant.” He chided, “If you do me in, you’ll never get him back.” he pulled out an intricate design of an ancient looking knife. “I want you to find this for me, you score that and we’ll be Even Steven.”

“Huh,” He exclaimed, upon closer examination of it. “I’ve seen this knife before…” He said, more to himself than to the man in front of him. He had all but forgotten Buck in that moment and was jarred out of his thoughts when he heard the man snap back at him.

“Knife?” He asked in an incredulous sort of way, “It’s not just a fucking knife!” He snapped, grabbing the drawing out of Grant’s hand. “There’s more history in this than you and Keith’s four ass cheeks squished together, that’s my fucking fee. Alright?”

“Where is it?” He asked and Buck went into another tirade, telling him of a man with a boat that had the location of the knife. That was the best he was going to get, most likely. And with that, Grant exited the bar with a feeling of dirtiness and disgust at the man that he had just been forced into some kind of a deal into. There wasn’t much he could do about it now, though, he’d find the knife, he’d get Keith and hopefully never have to deal with the man again.

About halfway through the second film that he had been watching, the need that he had been holding back came over him once again. “Fuck.” He murmured to himself and bumped his head against the wall in a self-defeating manner, cursing his own biology for this inconvenient bullshit that it put him through every month or so. ‘Oh god,’ he thought, mortified. ‘If I stay here, I’m probably gonna have to start going through this again. Constant full on omega mode. What a fucking nightmare.’

Jason sighed and knee walked over to where Vaas was sitting, snapping angrily in Spanish to one of his men that was sheepishly trying to defend himself. He looked over noticing Jason’s presence and decided to end the call, “I can’t come up and clean up your mess like tu puta madre*. you fucking fix it!” He snapped and ended the call, throwing the cell to the ground so harshly that it gave Jason a start.

Jason frowned, “Is everything alright?” He asked, feeling an uncharacteristic sort of cautiousness around the alpha. Vaas turned to look at him and let out a short laugh. “No, I’m guessing not.” He murmured to himself.

“You know, your fucking gringo brother’s causing me a lot of fucking problems.” Vaas started, looking at Jason in an indiscernible sort of way. “Running around the fucking island like he owns the fucking place. Taking outposts, hijacking radio towers. Hoyt’s getting fucking mad about it and I can’t blame him for it, either.” He complained, “You know if shit keeps going down like this, he’s gonna have me going after him.”

It was just the truth, Jason knew that, but he didn’t want to think of the reality of it just yet. He knew that it was a very real possibility that Vaas might end up on the other side of Grant’s gun and he couldn’t really blame him for defending himself if that happened, and just the same if it was Grant that needed to defend himself against the alpha. But still, he didn’t want to think about the hypotheticals of it, preferring to worry about it if and when it came to that. “Don’t say that!” Jason snapped.

Vaas shrugged in reply, “That’s just the truth.” He said honestly, “I can’t say no if Hoyt wants me to kill him. I can put it off, maybe, and I’ve left him alone ‘cause of you but…” He trailed off, and Jason got the point of it, as depressing as it was.

“Well…you could put your dick in me.” Jason offered, slowly sliding his hips apart in a suggestive manner. “That would make everything better. Just fix all of our problems in one go.” He motioned in between them jokingly, if for no other reason than to distract himself from the existential dread that he was feeling at the thought of having to pick between his mate and his family, between his old life and the life that was being built for him on these islands.

Vaas laughed and pulled him closer until Jason was half sitting on his lap. “Well, maybe not all of our problems, but at least half of mi-” And Vaas pulled him in for a forceful, open mouth kiss. Jason had a dopey grin on his face as the two of them broke apart from the kiss. Vaas gently pushed Jason down on his back, forcing him to lie back as he laid a path of flighty kisses down his stomach. He had a lot of reservations about staying on the islands, he thought, but this was definitely something that he could see himself getting used to.

Jason was sprawled out on the beach, nude and covered from head to toe in blood. He felt filthy and he felt wrong. But he also felt right, like this was where he needed to be and how he needed to look – even if it disgusted him thoroughly. He scrambled to his feet, the feeling of the machete in his hand imposing upon him as he did so.

He walked forward, speeding up into a run until he found what he had no idea that he was looking for. Grant and a woman that he had never met before were standing together. The woman in front of him, she was beautiful – tall and statuesque, painted with tribal symbols that he instinctively felt held some weighty significance. Other than the ritualistic body paint, she was completely nude from head to toe, with only her long and intricately braided hair to provide her some sort of modesty. Jason was literally stunned, paralyzed by his awe at the sight of her.

But she wasn’t paying any attention to him, no, all of her attentions were on his brother. She walked a circle around him, each step slow and purposeful. “You are a great warrior, Grant Brody.” She stated in a tone of voice that suggested she was speaking more to the heavens then she was to him, “You will bring the Rakyat back, to our former glory.”

Thunder and lightning hit and cracked as she spoke, storms brewing around the three of them, thunder crackling dangerously close to where they stood – ready to shoot them down every moment. The woman braced her fingers around Grant’s shoulder, “I need you to do something for me. One more thing for me and then your path will be complete and you will truly be a Warrior.”

And then she kissed Grant and that was when Jason’s alarm bells were really raised. Grant wasn’t the type of person that would step out on his girlfriend with some woman…but he was, and Jason couldn’t bring himself to look, he closed his eyes – willing the scene away from him. He only opened them when an earth-shattering feeling came over him, like an earthquake or some other kind of natural disaster.

He opened his eyes and watched with horror as the earth literally separated underneath them, a fault line appearing right in front of where Jason stood and pushing them further away. Jason scrambled for purchase as he was knocked to the ground again. In front of him the woman began to chant in a foreign language and Jason got the sinking suspicion that she was summoning forth the disaster, willing death and destruction upon them.

The world around them got smaller and smaller as shadow-like creatures swarmed around the three of them. Neither Grant, nor the beautiful woman noticed them and every time that Jason tried to warn them to say something – anything – to get them to notice the impending chaos around them, smoke swarmed inside of his mouth and literally smothered his voice. So he was helpless to do anything. He just watched in horror as she finished the ritual with a knife in her brothers chest.

Jason woke with a start and looked around at his surroundings with panic and nervousness. He only calmed down, marginally, when he realized that nothing had changed from the reality of yesterday. Vaas was laying next to him, with his arm curled around Jason’s side. It was just so bizarre, so vivid and so damn real.

He sat up on his knees and experimentally checked to see that Vaas was still okay, he was still breathing, The world around them wasn’t collapsing. Grant wasn’t dead. And that striking woman, with the braids and the paint all over her naked body? She was nowhere to be seen. That was good, he was fine. Everything was fine, for now at least.

Jason sighed, deciding that he needed some fresh air before this all went to his head in a very bad way. He got himself dressed, wrapped a thin blanket around himself and headed out the door – he decidedly didn’t go very far, he didn’t want to attract any unwanted attention. He sat down on the dirt ground, cross-legged and curled up in on himself as he let himself experience the quietness and the peace around him. It was nice, meditative. He hadn’t been able to experience peace and quiet in a while.

That lasted for a few minutes before his phone started ringing out the custom ringtone that he had set for his brother. Jason scrambled to answer the call, fully knowing that it could have very well been some kind of a trap or a trick to figure out… Vaas’ location or his own. “Grant?” He asked, “Jesus Christ…Is that really you?” He asked in a soft spoken, almost frightened tone of voice.

“Of course it’s me, Jay.” The Elder Brody replied back in a gently mocking manner. “Who else would it have been?”

“I don’t know… I’ve been having these-” he sighed, “It’s gonna sound so fucking stupid, but I’ve been having these nightmares about this island. And about you, and the people here and its just- I thought something might have happened to you.” He groaned, feeling entirely ashamed of his out of character superstition. “Just don’t laugh. Please.”

Grant chuckled and then apologized, “I won’t laugh again, promise.” Jason scoffed incredulously at that, “So have you been? None of those fucking pirates have hurt you, right?”

“I’ve been… surviving.” He responded as vaguely as he possibly could, this wasn’t really something that he wanted to let his brother in on the details of. “Me and Vaas, we’ve been holed up back at camp. Not really doing much, you know, keeping a low profile for the next couple of days or so.” Before Grant could say anything else he added in a snappy tone, “And no. none of them have been hurting me, they’re all pretty respectful for the most part. Almost fearful, and I don’t blame them for that.”

“That’s good.” Grant replied, “I didn’t just call to see how you were doing.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Jason answered in a nonplussed sort of way. They didn’t really have the time for such niceties these days. Unconsciously, he tensed up in excitement, hoping that whatever Grant told him meant he got to help. “What’s going on? Did you find something out? Something you need me for?”

“Yeah, well maybe, I’m not sure if it’s a good idea yet.” Grant started, “But I think I know where Keith might be, he’s holed up with this weird Australian pervert.” Jason stiffened almost immediately, thinking that he knew exactly who the elder was talking about. “He goes by Buck-”

“Was he conspicuously under-dressed, a bit handsy? Kind of dirty looking, even for the standards of this fucking place?” Jason interrupted with a litany of questions about the man, hoping to confirm his suspicions about the man’s identity.

Grant was stunned into silence for a few minutes, “So you met him already?” He guessed, laughing a bit at how quick Jason still was to jump the gun and get it right to boot. “Yeah, that’s… a scarily accurate way to describe him. I thought you might have been able to trail him, and find out where he's storing Keith while he makes me run around looking for some fucking knife he wants.” And Jason was quick to agree to that, he told Grant that as soon as he was able, he’d meet up with the elder Brody and the two of them would take the privateer down, and get Keith back to safety.

((Spanish Notes: tu puta madre = your fucking mother))

[vinodiriso]

Kou/cha. [HANMEI]

@mita-rashi requested a HanMei drabble, something like two weeks ago. This is my headcanon of how they first met. Enjoy.

NOTES:

1: Mei in Chinese can be written with either the character 美 (meaning ‘beautiful’) or the character 梅 (meaning ‘plum’, Japanese: ‘ume’).

Hanzo had already done something for that woman in the handful of months he had spent in the Overwatch base, after the night he faced Genji in combat. Most of the times, it was heavy lifting... literally. He was used to carry around boxes of stuff from his sea days, and he always managed to come across the lab when there was some weighty science machines to move. He never actually cared about it, it was just some minor chores and nothing was ever so hefty to trouble him.

The archer didn’t give much thought to the white-coat-wearing people that needed his help, the only thing that stroke him as odd was how nice one of them was to him. It was not like she was baking him cookies, that be written down, but at least she didn’t shoot him those sour looks he got from various other agents, like that cowboy wannabe or the punk hairdo.

That afternoon, Hanzo was coming fresh out of the shower after an entire morning of shooting practice. He made his way into the base’s small kitchen and started looking for his secret stash, until he heard a voice from behind him: “please, can you take the box on the second from top shelf?”

Hanzo complied without further questioning and grabbed it. He turned to give it to the person requesting it, only to be met by one of the scientists he had helped various times. He didn’t remember her name… not like it was news. He was bad with names, with memories, everything was always a blurry fog.

“There you go,” he mumbled, his words were gentle but his tone wasn’t. She didn’t seem to mind.

“Thank you. Can you make a little room for me too?”

Hanzo stepped to the side and the woman entered the small kitchen. Hanzo returned to his activity of retrieving his belongings. Finally he found the box he was looking for, behind a can of coffee (ugh, he hated coffee). He uncorked it and the amazing, full scent of tea leaves invaded his nostrils.

It was really hard in their days to find actual tea leaves and not extracts, or flavoured tea bags. Agriculture was on the brink of collapse after ways to create synthetic food with cheap processes were invented. Real food costed a hell of a lot money nowadays, and those tea leaves were a most expensive treasure for Hanzo; he rarely shared it with anyone.

“Bai Jiguan, right?” the woman commented with a giggle. “You have a good taste for tea.”

“Huh,” Hanzo commented. “You recognized it by smell alone?”

“My family was in tea shipping when I was little,” she explained, “I was basically raised drinking tea. A habit that stuck. You?”

“My mother,” he said, simply. Why was he even replying to that? It was a personal question.

“I see. And what teas do you enjoy?”

“Huh,” Hanzo was really not used to speak that much. “Oolong tea and… black tea.”

“Oh, so you gonna love this one!” the woman chirped as she opened her own box. Hanzo inhaled the beautiful scent in a deep breath.

“Golden Monkey.”

“That’s right. I’ve never met someone that could guess by scent and not taste, haha!”

Hanzo nodded. He didn’t know what to reply to that, so he didn’t.

“By the way, I haven’t introduced myself. I am Mei-Ling Zhou, nice to meet you, Hanzo,” she didn’t actually say ‘Hanzo’, in her mouth it sounded something like ‘Bhanshoo’. Still, Hanzo could pick up his name even if it had been butchered by a person that clearly couldn’t pronounce it.

“How do you know my name?” Hanzo’s eyebrows furrowed.

“You are Genji’s brother, right? I have never seen him under the mask but I have always imagined he would look something like you do. And McCree said that Genji’s brother always has this… very… troubled face. You fit the description.”

Hanzo doubted someone like McCree would ever say ‘troubled face’, let alone when referring to him. Still, as much as he was irked (for no reason in particular, really, he should have expected to be a juicy piece of gossips for Overwatch agents after his arrival), she tried to soften the blow. She didn’t call him ‘asshole’ face-to-face; Hanzo appreciated tact, even if affected, even if Hanzo himself wasn’t the most tactful person around.

“Mh,” he replied. He rummaged his mind in search for something to say only to be met with failure.  Without anything else to add, he just stuck to filling the boiler. Mei was measuring her serving of dried leaves: she dropped three teaspoons of Golden Monkey in a small porcelain teapot. It looked extremely frail and extremely precious. Hanzo did not have to wander off with imagination to guess it was a real Chinese handcraft. After all, her name was Zhou, was it not?

“It’s a family heirloom,” Mei stated, looking back at him. She didn’t mention the fact she had perceived Hanzo’s gaze or his interest in that tiny object, but still it was worth of praise to be that keen-minded. It took him by surprise. “I always have it with me, wherever I go. My father had it made for me when I was born.”

She showed him the Chinese characters painted on the side.

“Oh, so it’s ‘Mei’ as in ‘beautiful’. I thought it was ‘plum’.” 1

She widened her eyes at his reply, regardless of how stoic. “You can read Chinese?”

“Yes, I picked it up… on the road,” he didn’t mention his life in Taiwan. Too personal.

“How do you read this in Japanese?”

“Uh… ‘bi’. It means ‘beauty’ in Japanese.”

“How do you say ‘beautiful’?”

Hanzo puckered his lips as he recalled the word. It had been such a long time since he had spoken his native language. “Mh… ‘utsukushii’. But it’s the same kanji. It’s… complicated.”

Mei giggled. It was a surprisingly wholesome sound. Hanzo was confused. “I guessed so. Careful, I think the water is ready.”

Hanzo resumed from his deep thoughts of how weird her laugh had him feeling. He grabbed his own tea box, ready to just drop a spoonful in his cup, but Mei stopped him. “Huh-huh. If you are having tea with a Chinese person, I will have you follow the rules. Here.”

She gave him another teapot she recovered from one of the lower cabinets. It was much less fancier than her one, it was a faux terracotta-looking steel thing, but it would have served its purpose. “Do you know how to do it?”

Hanzo nodded. Yes, his mother had taught him many years ago. On top of that, he had seen many people do it. Three teaspoons inside the pot, then fill it with hot water, not boiling. Wait 5 seconds, pour, and throw the water away (the taste is too strong and, at the same time, not rich enough, it’s a bad batch). Refill the teapot, wait 20 seconds (or 40, if one likes a very strong flavour) and eventually pour the serving.

They completed the process in utter silence, without saying a word, almost in symbiosis, so coordinated were the two as they performed each action. It looked very mechanical, on Hanzo’s part, Mei on the other hand was more relaxed and her gestures were a display of an ancient art. Sure, that wasn’t the sophisticated tea ceremony Kung-fu masters invented millennia before, but it was still core to their countries’ traditions. A waste to let it go forgotten, as far as Hanzo was concerned.

“I love this smell,” Mei eventually broke the silence. “Isn’t it… gorgeous?”

Hanzo had to agree. It was one of the few things he enjoyed the most, a moment for relaxation he was used to consume alone, but Mei’s company was strangely… not-unnerving. It wasn’t as peaceful as the solitude of his home, solitary and companionless, but it was a little warmer than his despondency. Soon, Hanzo abandoned that road of thoughts: Mei was a little too perceptive and he didn’t want her to get inside his mind that far.

They sat at one of the table in the dining hall, facing one another. Hanzo wasn’t looking at her, he was quietly sipping his tea. She was squirming a little, as if she was trying really hard to find something to say. It was annoying, how some people couldn’t appreciate a moment of silence. It was rare for that room to be soundless, empty. The mere grazing of their mugs on the table and the soft drinking sounds were a balm for a… troubled mind. He used her word. So he did have a troubled face, after all, if those were the thoughts springing behind it.

Yet, despite of Hanzo’s unappreciative judgement, Mei did not speak a word for long. However, he could feel her gaze on him, studying him, curious as everyone of the freak that killed his own brother. That’s why he preferred staying alone. It wasn’t as annoying when he was the one to despise himself.

“Is it good?” Mei asked.

“What?”

“The tea. You’re glowering.”

“I always look like this,” was his reply. Quite impolite.

Mei gave him a little scorned smile. “I am sorry. I shouldn’t have pried. It’s just that… it seems a little counterproductive to drink tea only to be sour, no?”

Hanzo wasn’t pleased by her statement. Maybe because she was right? “The way I drink tea is none of your business.”

The woman did not answer at his rude shutdown. Hanzo looked at her. She was so normal. Brown eyes, brown hair. She wore glasses. She had dainty little fingers wrapped around her cup, tapping on it so gently. Her hairpin was fashionable and elaborate, with a dangling little snowflake charm. The way she blew on steaming tea was cute.

She raised her eyes only to encounter his, staring. She smiled again. “You really like the teapot, don’t you?”

“Huh?” right next to her cup, there it laid her teapot. She probably misinterpreted the direction of Hanzo’s look, which was a blessing: too many things to explain if she had guessed the archer was indeed observing her. “It’s a fine piece of art.”

The smile on her lips grew a little larger. “Yeah, it’s very cute.”

Mei looked up, her brow creasing as she was trying to recall something… “kawaii?”

Hanzo huffed instinctively in a diverted manner. That was so random it amused him, even if it was really not that cultured humour; her pronunciation and the nonsense of the situation turned it comical. And that expression too, he admitted, was funny.

“Oh, so you can laugh,” Mei teased him. “I thought you were paralysed with that grimace. You should laugh more often. There is a glitter in your eyes when you do. You look… less troubled.”

“You can see people right through, can’t you?” Hanzo was sarcastic.

“I guess it’s what happens when you don’t stop at the surface and bother trying and understand the person you are talking to,” Mei was serious. “Do you ever try, Hanzo? To understand others?”

Oh, that sting. He was immediately thrown back at how he thought it would be hard for her to stay quiet, but she did, then even earlier, how he assumed she knew about him because she had gossiped about him. Maybe, just maybe, she remembered his name from when he had helped the other scientists.

All of a sudden, it became harder to look back at her. Coward.

“Mei!” a panting white coat came in running. “Jackson…!”

She sighed. “Got it. I am coming.”

She took one long sip, then she came to her feet. She looked back at him, biting her lower lip, as if she wanted to add something else. Hanzo prayed she didn’t, he couldn’t bear more humiliation, even if it was unintended as hers.

“See you around?” Mei murmured, giving him yet one soft grin.

“Ha,” Hanzo replied. And, for once, he really meant it.

[the-asia-trip]

Days 12-15: Taiwan

In a way, this trip has been on a slowly increasing scale of travel difficulty for me. Japan, while still foreign, is like a warm blanket—familiar, safe, and clean. Korea is one or two steps beyond Japan. Still safe, but less familiar. Taiwan is three steps out. It's still very safe, but, for lack of a better word, it's also China. Wild, chaotic, exotic China.

Hordes of scooters weave through every street, big impenetrable Chinese characters dominate every sign (though there's still English secondary signage everywhere you really need it), and everything is considerably less spotless and immaculate than Korea, let alone Japan. To speak in Dungeons and Dragons character alignment terminology: if Japan is Lawful Good, and Korea is Lawful Neutral, Taiwan is Chaotic Good. There's still that East Asian order ethos, but noticeably less than the first two countries I visited on the trip. 

None of this is an insult, mind you. It's also jaw-droppingly scenic, filled with fantastic food and incredibly friendly people.

On Tuesday, after finishing my last entry here, I hopped on the subway out of Seoul. About an hour later, I arrived at Incheon International Airport. 

Incheon deserves special mention here. I didn't get a good look around when I arrived there last Friday night, but it's a really really surreal place—ultramodern, and dripping with the trappings of the international set. In Terminal 2, there's a three-story Chanel store and a three-story Gucci store right next to it. There's every conceivable designer boutique, at least 4 duty-free cosmetics stores, 3 liquor stores, 2 tobacco stores, and 2 nondescript "fashion" stores that sell clothing from brands not prestigious enough to warrant their own storefronts (but pricey enough to benefit from duty-free savings). For actual airport souvenirs, though, it's not much. For my 4 days in Korea, the best I could manage was a fridge magnet. Note to self: buy souvenirs outside next time. 

After some kimchi stew and an impossibly small $8 airport beer, I boarded my flight to Taiwan. It took about 2 hours, during which time I watched about 70 minutes of Quentin Tarantino's "Once Upon A Time in Hollywood" on a hilariously low-resolution seatback display. My seatmate was a middle-aged Russian woman with two brand-new iPhones who drank five glasses of white wine and bought three sticks of Burberry lipstick from the duty-free cart.

After clearing customs, I hopped on a city bus into Taipei proper. The buses in Taiwan also deserve special mention here for being one of the most chaotic elements of the whole experience. Inexplicably well-appointed with little frilly lace window curtains and headrests, and consistently driven with a style I can only describe as "New York Cabbie on speed," they're an experience in their own right. 

The trip to my hotel took about an hour, at which point it was well past midnight. After a requisite post-airport shower, I fell fast asleep. 

I'm staying at the CitizenM Taipei on this leg of the trip, a part of a larger chain of hotels that I've stayed at before in New York. It's one of those trendy hotel chains marketed towards young people that tries painfully hard to be cool with every aspect of their branding. Still, their actual hotel rooms are very nice and well-appointed. 

The next morning, after coffee, some scallion pancakes, and Taiwanese sausages, I headed over to Xiangshan. Located on the other side of the city, it's a hiking trail that offers unrestricted views of Taiwan's most internationally-famous attraction, Taipei 101. While taking some photos at the top of the trail, I struck up a conversation with a local—a girl about my age who currently lives in London, back here for two weeks visiting family. We talked for about half an hour, exchanged information, and went our separate ways.

After the hike, I headed back into the center of town and hopped on a train out to Jiufen. One of Taiwan's most photogenic locales, it bears a striking resemblance to the Spirit World from "Spirited Away," one of the best/most influential anime movies of all time, and a personal favorite of mine. The train only got me most of the way there, so I had to transfer to a bus in Ruifang, a little village about 3/4 of the way between Taipei and Juifen's iconic old town.

A highlight of the walk through Ruifang—at one point, I passed an elderly Chinese man sitting on a bench. He gave me a thumbs-up, I gave him a thumbs-up back, and he smiled and said, "good!" 

One more chaotic bus ride through a series of winding mountain roads later, I arrived in Jiufen. After almost 20 years of being associated with one of the most popular movies of all time, it's more than a little touristy, but a whole lot of fun. The photos to follow will do it more justice than I probably can here. If you like stunning jungle mountain scenery, charming small-town vibes, and excellent food, it's a must-see.

A nice thing about visiting Taiwan right now: for some reason, all Mainland Chinese people are banned from visiting the island by the Communist Party until next year. As locals tell it, I basically have the place to myself. 

Also, for about two weeks in advance,  rain was predicted for three of my four days here. Obviously, on paper, Taiwan is the most outdoorsy leg of this trip, which is why I spent my first day so actively outside when the weather proved sunny.

In an extreme stroke of luck, though, it was clear and sunny the whole time I was there.

On my second day, I took full advantage of this. After more scallion pancakes and coffee, I hopped on a train out of Taipei Main Station headed out of the city, this time to Tamsui, another small town located north of the city.

One thing I didn't know about Taiwan prior to this trip: it used to be a territory of the Dutch East India Company during the 16th century. One of the most tangible remnants of this period is still on display in Tamsui, a colonial fort known as Fort San Domingo (the Dutch took it over from the Spanish, some of the first Europeans to reach the island during the European Age of Exploration). The Chinese locals know the fort by another name: 紅毛城. In English, this translates roughly to "fort of the red-headed ones," which I'm still getting a big kick out of. Apparently the Dutch were the first redheads the Taiwanese had ever seen, and the nickname "Ang Mo" (literally "red hair," or sometimes more derogatorily, "red fur,") stuck for some time after that as a catch-all term for Europeans in many parts of Southeast Asia.

While there's a decent amount of foreigners in Taipei, I definitely felt like the odd Ang Mo out in Tamsui, wading through street markets and ducking out of the way of scooters. It's an amazing place, filled with life and chaotic energy in a way few places I've ever seen are. 

Later that day, I returned to Taipei to check off one of the obvious must-sees of any Taiwan visit: Taipei 101. Formerly the tallest structure on earth, and now the 11th tallest behind a variety of Mainland Chinese and Gulf State money laundering projects, it's truly a sight to behold. From the 89th floor, you get an unrestricted panoramic view of the whole of the Taipei metro area and a glimpse into the building's highly sophisticated internal stabilization system. Because Taiwan is prone to earthquakes, the 101 is borderline over-engineered against any conceivable emergency. It's allegedly one of the most stable structures on the planet. 

After a beer at the top floor lounge, I headed over the Chiang Kai-shek Memorial. The leader of the Kuomintang and father of the Republic of China, he's a very very very big deal here. His memorial is every bit the equal to monuments like the Lincoln Memorial and is guarded by a group of very very very very serious Taiwanese soldiers. There's a guard-changing ceremony a few times a day that I was lucky enough to catch the end of during my visit. Video will follow. 

After that, I met up with my new friend from yesterday and a few of her local friends for dinner. Naturally, the best way to try the best food in a foreign place is to make friends with locals.

The next morning, I crossed the final box off my Taiwan list: the National Palace Museum. When the government of the Republic of China fled the mainland in the 40s, they took most of China's artistic and cultural heritage with them from the Forbidden City in Beijing: over 70,000 items now stored in a sprawling gallery just outside Taipei. It's considered to be one of (if not the) finest collections of Chinese art on the planet, and it's where I spent most of my last full day in Taiwan. Pictures will follow and again will do more justice than I ever could. The sheer extent of China's history is really and truly staggering. The second oldest civilization on the planet, and the oldest continuous one, with a mind-blowing amount of art and culture to show for it.

After the museum, I went back into town for a lunch of pork belly with buns, Dan Dan noodles, and fried pork dumplings. They're big on pork here. The other part of the whole "thousands of years of history" thing? The food. Unbelievable. 

I got even more of that aspect of Taiwan's culture later that night when I went back out with my new Taiwanese friend to one of Taipei's famous night markets. Another "chaotic in the best possible way" experience, you can get everything from knockoff designer socks to steaming bowls of beef tendon stew there. By the end of the night, I had both. 

This morning, I got up at around 9:30 and had my last helping of local scallion pancakes for the foreseeable future. I checked out around 11, and one chaotic Taiwanese Citybus ride later I was at the airport. More pork and rice, a beer, a three-hour flight, and I find myself at Hotel Nikko Narita, the last stop on my trip, for a quick overnight before my flight home. Expect more in the coming days in terms of a cohesive "final thoughts" piece. But for now, here's a few things I'm already feeling very clearly:

There's a power that comes with solo travel. A sense of self-assurance and understanding you really don't get from many other experiences. You're spending a lot of time with yourself. For some people, the thought of that is terrifying. Especially on the other side of the world. For me, though, it's energizing and self-actualizing in a way few other things could ever possibly be.

What else. Travel. Of all the places I visited on this trip, Japan is still quite easily my favorite, and I'd still love to live here someday. But I'm not in any rush, and I certainly won't be coming home with the same misplaced urge to return immediately that I had after my last trip.

Two weeks really remains the ticket for this kind of trip. I've been away long enough that traveling almost feels like my routine at this point, pretentious as that may read. It's nice to be able to spend enough time doing something that you're able to drop the mindset of normal day-to-day life for a while, and do Big Thinks About Life Stuff. However, as I've said in previous posts, I think I'd need a concrete reason to be here to stay any longer. After almost 16 very full days on the other side of the world, thousands of miles away from my own, I'm actually very ready to come home. I miss my friends and family (you, reading this, probably), and after 2 weeks of near-nonstop movement, the creature comforts of my apartment will be mighty nice. 

For now, thank you all for following me. I'm honored to have shared this incredible experience with you.

[glassbangtan]

I’ll Protect You {Min Yoongi}

Words: 11k

  Summary: You and Yoongi were the most unlikely of pairs, which was why you decided to keep your relationship on the down-low for now. Whilst Yoongi and you basically ignore each other during school hours, Yoongi is left in the dark about the struggles you've been dealing with whilst he is pretending not to know you.

  Genre: angst

  Notes: masterlist

  ---

    “In here. In here.”

   You could barely hold back your bark of laughter as Yoongi pinched your side, shoving you into the empty staffroom with an eagerness that had very clearly been building up for hours now.

    His hands were all over you as soon as the door was kicked closed, his body clashing with yours so your back was pressed against the far wall, his hands running up the length of your torso before finding purchase on your jawline, where he held your head still so his lips could continue their assault on your own.

   You didn't care. You were just as dazed as him, kissing him back with just as much ferocity as he was kissing you. You didn't care that the door was unlocked, that a teacher could walk in at any given moment and see you – Y/N L/N, grade-A student – making out with the schools renowned bad boy, Min Yoongi.

   It had been like this for months now. You and Yoongi had been partnered up for an English project, and at first, you had been dreading it. He was Min Yoongi, known for being a bit of a menace, a brooding teenage boy who did nothing more than make music in the back room of the music department. He had an attitude problem, anger issues, was constantly getting in fights with both elders and students alike.

   But he had been much, much sweeter than you had originally thought.

   The weeks you had been partnered up for the project were weeks filled with events you would never forget. Yoongi making you laugh, Yoongi smiling that gummy smile, Yoongi looking at you with an amused grin on his face whenever you were busy scribbling down the notes you needed for the project you were both busy working on; he had even made an effort with the school work, insisting he didn't want you to do it on your own.

   And then, the day before the project was due to be handed in, he had kissed you.

  Since then, you two had been in a relationship; a very secret relationship.

   It was okay, though. It was easier keeping things hidden; less hassle, and neither of you had to deal with the shocked expressions that would surely follow you down the hallway if word got out that the two of you were dating.

    Now, it seemed as if Yoongi had missed you during the school day. All day, you had been bombarded with classes. It was exam season, and you were spending the majority of your free time in the library, studying. This also meant that you had very little time to see Yoongi outside of school.

    “I haven't seen you-” He pressed a kiss to your neck. “-in weeks. Where have you been?”

   He attached his lips back to your jawline after asking the question, causing your eyes to flutter closed and your back to arch in response to his soft lips on your skin.

   “Studying,” you croaked out. “Which is just what you should be doing.”

   Yoongi chuckled darkly against your neck, swiping his tongue over the spot he had just finished assaulting. “I've been studying, don't worry. But I need a break – and this is the perfect stress reliever-”

   “Yoongi!” you hissed, immediately catching on to what he was saying. You pushed him away then, making him stumble back with a shocked expression on his face. “We are not having sex in the staff room! We shouldn't even be kissing in here.”

  Yoongi frowned, running a hand through his black hair which was now sticking up in all directions due to your fingers which had been running through it only moments before. “Are you serious? I haven't seen you in ages!”

    “We had dinner last weekend,” you reminded him.

   “Dinner isn't going to relieve my exam stress,” he grumbled, folding his arms over his chest and putting on that pouty face that he knew full well completely broke you down any time you saw it.

   You rolled your eyes, pushing off of the wall he had pushed you against and striding towards him. He watched you with slightly widened eyes, pulling his lip between his teeth in a most attractive fashion that always made you feel like the only person to ever walk the earth.

    You wound your arms around his neck and tugged him down, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He sighed against them, reciprocated the kiss just as gently. He knew you weren't going to strip for him in the middle of the teachers staff room, and he respected your decision. That was one thing about Yoongi that had originally surprised you; he was respectful. Although his temper was often short, he never purposefully did anything to hurt anyone.

    You pulled away and smiled at him. “After exams are over and the holidays have started, we can do whatever we want, wherever we want,” you whispered. His breath hitched in his throat, a low growl emitting from his chest.

   You let your hands fall to your side. “But until then, I need to go and study. Text me if you need me.”

   You could hear Yoongi groaning with impatience as you skipped towards the door, a smile appearing on your face.

  ---

   As much as it bothered you, school wasn't just running around and making out with your secret boyfriend – there were other people around, as well.

   Some days were easier than others. Some days, you would be so caught up in trying to keep your straight-A track record that you wouldn't even stop to give the other kids the time of day. Some days, you were able to merely rush past them in the halls, hiding your face with the armful of books you were hauling between lessons.

   But some days, your willpower was shorter, and your emotions were higher, and every little thing yelled at you burrowed itself into your brain and didn't leave you alone until somebody else came along and said something worse to overrule the thing that was originally bothering you.

   Yoongi didn't know about any of this. You hadn't told him, hadn't wanted him to worry about you. You were almost eighteen years old – you should have been able to handle the hollerings on your own, should have been able to turn around and tell the students to fuck off. Or, you should have at least been able to ignore them without getting your feelings hurt.

    Exam season was the worst. Already your emotions were running ragged, and there was very little you could do about it. You were functioning off of cups of coffee, your hands constantly trembling both with caffeine intake and stress. This meant that the comments of the other students hammered into your head a lot easier and a lot worse than any other time throughout the year.

    You kept your head ducked down. Your lip was clenched between your teeth, books bundled in front of you to try and obscure your face even more; but they could always spot you. Somehow, they could always see you clambering down the hallway, no matter how hidden you thought yourself to be.

   “Hey! There she is!”

   You winced, bunching your shoulders up as Shuling's teasing jesters rang out across the hallway.

   “Y/N! Y/N, wait up!”

   It didn't take long for her to catch up to you – Shuling was the worst culprit for making your day an absolute mess. She was from Taiwan, and almost as soon as she had seen you on her very first day, she had used you as an anchor. She had seen everybody else making fun of you, and thought the only way to fit in as the new exchange student was to hop on the band wagon and join in – only she took things a little bit far.

   It was every time she saw you. There was no pause, not one day where she had seen you scuttling between classes and thought it was only best to leave you alone – just for a moment. No. She took every single chance that came to her to make your life a living hell, and you still tried to be as kind to her as possible. In your head, being kind was the way to make them stop. It had only worked a handful of times, and you were still suffering with the bullies, but you could never bring yourself to say anything mean to them. It felt like stooping to their level, which was the last thing you wanted.

  So now, you glanced up at Shuling and forced a tight smile onto your face. “Hey. How are you this morning?”

   “I've been good,” Shuling replied, eyes darting around as if inspecting what you were holding. “No coffee today?”

   Another habit of Shuling's – taking your morning coffee off of you and drinking it for herself.

   “I was saving my money for the cafeteria,” you told her. “So I skipped the coffee run this morning.”

   Shuling raised a thin eyebrow. “Well, that just won't do. I'm thirsty. I was relying on you to bring me my energy to get through the day.”

   “I'm sorry, but I want to buy-”

   “Are we really gonna have an argument in the middle of the hallway, Y/N?” Her voice had lowered to a mere growl; it amazed you how a woman could sound so terrifying, despite her petite stature.

   You glanced at her out of the corner of your eye, swallowed thickly. “I don't want to argue.”

   “Then get me my coffee,” Shuling scoffed, as if the solution was the most obvious thing in the world. “Put your books in your locker and go. We have ten minutes before first class starts, so you might want to go at a bit of a run.”

    It shamed you. You felt weak, felt awful as you tossed your array of books into your locker, turned back and headed towards the school cafe, your pace quick. You hadn't been lying when you had told Shuling that you wanted to save your money for the cafeteria that day, but you truly felt as if you had no choice – one day without lunch would do you no harm. You'd just make an extra large dinner whenever you got home, and it would all be okay. Shuling would be kept happy, and you would be fine.

   And so, you bought Shuling her coffee.

   “Do my eyes deceive me?” a voice sounded out behind you as you waited for your beverage to be made.

   You turned on your heel, heart immediately doing somersaults whenever you spotted Yoongi and his friends approaching from one of the back tables. Yoongi kept to the back of the group, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his grey hood pulled on over his red beanie, but you could see his eyes flicking up to look at you every now and then as you spoke to Jimin, who was at the front.

   Yoongi's friends were never mean. Despite their reputation, they had never been anything but kind to you, even though none of them knew about you and Yoongi being together. You had grown up around most of them, and although you wouldn't label them as friends, they still managed to make you smile whenever you needed it.

   “Is Y/N L/N actually at the cafe five minutes before first class?” Jimin teased, poking you in the rib. “What's gotten into you? Do I need to have a word with your parents?”

   “No,” you replied, smiling shyly. “I forgot to get my coffee today and thought I should spend my free time restocking on the caffeine.”

   “Even if it means not being in class ten minutes early?” Taehyung chimed in.

    “I'm sure Mr Lee won't mind,” you chuckled. “And I'm guessing you boys are getting plenty of studying in whilst waiting for the bell to ring, hm?”

   Yoongi's lips twitched into a slight smile, but he hid it by looking away. You couldn't help but feel a small sense of pride; it was a game the both of you always played – trying to make the other one break in front of everyone. You knew Yoongi loved it whenever you got along with his friends – although he never admitted it, the six boys that surrounded him were closer to him than family. Seeing you get along with them, as he had told you on multiple occasions, was something that meant a lot to him.

    “Oh, yeah,” Hoseok said sarcastically. “I'm ready for these exams, I think. Hell, I could take one right now and pass. Watch me.”

   “Easy now,” Jungkook said, placing a hand on Hoseok's shoulder as the dancer started getting excited and jumping up and down on his heels.

    “Coffee for Y/N L/N?”  

   You turned, smiled at the student who was working over the counter and slid the remainder of your pocket money into her outstretched hand. She thanked you, and you took your coffee off of the counter before turning back to the awaiting group of boys behind you.

   “I should get going,” you said, taking one final glance in Yoongi's direction; he looked suspicious for some reason. His eyebrow was raised, lips thin as his eyes darted back and forth between the coffee you had just taken and the cashier, who was now putting the remainder of your money into the cash machine.

   Shit.

  Yoongi knew you had just spent your lunch money. He was bound to be suspicious; he knew that you were wiser than that. He knew that you would never spend your last few coins of lunch money on a coffee.

   Quickly, you flashed the boys a grin, said your final goodbyes and walked out of the cafe. You would spend your class time trying to come up with an excuse as to why you had spent your lunch money, because there was no doubt in your mind that Yoongi would be curious to know; he worried about you, despite how little attention he paid you whenever you two were in public.

   ---

    You could only hope Shuling was happy.

   Of course, you had been three minutes late for your first class. Shuling and her friends had decided to hide in the girls bathroom rather than standing by their lockers, like they had promised. You had spent those three minutes frantically searching the hallways for her, her coffee growing colder and colder with every passing moment. You knew she would never take the coffee if it went cold, but whenever you had found her at last, she had taken a sip of the beverage, grinned and sent you on your way.

   You had been scolded by Mr Lee, but nothing more than that. Those were the perks of being a good student – you had a few extra chances still to cash in, and today you had used one of them.

    The entire lesson you were pondering on what you would say to Yoongi; that look on his face whenever he had seen you hand over your lunch money to the cashier was unmistakeable – he knew something was up. Once he grew suspicious, there would be no backing out. You would have to explain the copious amount of bullying you had been dealing with for the past few years, and that conversation was surely going to be an unpleasant one.

   As much as you loved Yoongi, his temper was non existent. If he were to find out you had been getting bullied, that people had been genuinely taking your lunch money, he would be infuriated. He wouldn't hold himself back, and it would put him at more risk of being expelled – a threat which had already been handed to him on multiple occasions.

   No. You would have to keep him out of this. You would go on pretending like everything was fine, and then you would leave school and would never have to look back at the hell-fire you had left behind.

   It was these thoughts that were the only thing pulling you through the rest of the day. Classes rolled on, homework was assigned, the stress piled on until, eventually, the lunch bell sounded.

   Usually one of your favourite times of the day, it now seemed pointless to get excited. As you stuffed your hand in your empty pocket, looking desperately for at least a bit of change you could give over to the cashier in exchange for some food, you realised just how pointless getting your hopes up truly was. You had spent your last coins on coffee – you had done so willingly. You had been the one to walk up to that counter and ask for the coffee, had been the one to hand over your money in exchange for a beverage you didn't even end up drinking.

    You hollowed out your cheeks and sat down at a small round table in the corner of the cafeteria. People bustled past with food stacked high on their trays, making your stomach growl in anticipation for when you got home and were going to be able to eat something. Your breakfast had consisted of a yoghurt and a single banana – you most definitely hadn't been filled, meaning your hunger was at an all-time high now that you were deprived of lunch.

     Slowly, you set your head against the table and sighed into the small enclosed box your arms had now made.

    “You don't look too energetic.”

  Your head snapped up, neck burning with the suddenness of your movements. You winced, rubbing the sore spot as you looked up to see Yoongi's friends all standing over you again – a hint of confusion ruffled through you. It was rare they spoke to you so often on a normal day. Had something happened?

   You sighed and let your head fall back onto your arms again. “Go away, please.”

   Seokjin laughed, being the first one to slide a chair over and sit next to you. “Always so polite. What's wrong, little one?”

  “Don't call me that,” you grunted. “I'm less than a year younger than you.”

  “Still younger,” he grumbled, before placing a warm hand on the back of your neck. “Tell me what's wrong.”

   All seven boys gathered around you – including Yoongi himself. You had yet to look up at him, too afraid to meet his knowing gaze. Now that he had seen you with no lunch, it was a guarantee that he was going to be well aware something was wrong. You weren't exactly in the mood to try and explain yourself at the moment.

    “I'm just tired,” you replied. “All of this studying for exam season is taking it's toll on me, I guess. I've got no time for myself.”

    Seokjin frowned, looking up at his group of friends. Seokjin was the oldest amongst them, meaning they were all looking at him for a response.

   He looked back down at you and gently rubbed soothing circles into your neck. “And that means you can't have lunch?”

  Shit.

  “I've lost my appetite,” you grumbled.

   “I find that very hard to believe,” Namjoon spoke up. “You're like Seokjin – you love food. And you can't just skip lunch, or else your brain won't be working right the rest of the day.”

   “I'm honestly fine,” you insisted, finally looking up. You hadn't meant to, but your eyes immediately travelled to Yoongi who, once again, was situated at the back of his crowd of friends, gazing at you in a most subtle way beneath the beanie he was wearing.

    Only this time, he didn't look away whenever your eyes met his. He continued to stare at you, his own eyes narrowed in questioning.

    You looked back at Namjoon and put on a big, false grin that you hoped would hide the exhaustion and the hunger clawing at your system right now. “I'm fine,” you repeated upon seeing everybody's concerned faces. “I'll probably end up getting something later, anyway. I have a free period, so I'll pop up to the shop then.”

   “Good,” said Hoseok. “We worry about you sometimes, Y/N. You work too hard.”

   “Or you guys work too little,” you shot back, smiling playfully. Hoseok rolled his eyes, swatted your arm gently before he and the others bid their farewells and headed back up to the line of students awaiting food.

   Yoongi followed them, but you could tell he wasn't satisfied with the answer you had given. Simply claiming you had no appetite had been a weak excuse, you were aware, but it was the only one your sluggish brain could come up with on the spot.

   You ignored the glances he sent to you over his shoulder as he followed after his friends, instead choosing to duck your head back into your arms and let the despair take over.

   ---

   “So are you gonna explain what happened at lunch today?”

  You sandwiched your cellphone between your ear and your shoulder as you stirred the pot of spaghetti you were cooking. Yoongi sounded slightly off-put, as if the thought of you not eating lunch had been pestering him all day.

    “I already told you,” you said. “I lost my appetite. It's what happens when I get stressed.”

   “I've known you since first year, Y/N. I've literally seen you bring food into an exam. Don't tell me you lose your appetite whenever it's exam season.”

    “Well these exams are important!” you exclaimed, voice higher than usual. “Or maybe I'm coming down with something. I don't know, Yoongi, but you don't need to worry, either. I'm making pasta right now. Listen.” You slid your phone away from your ear and placed the speaker over the hob for dramatic effect, letting Yoongi listen to the bubbles boiling from the pan.

   You placed the phone back between your shoulder and cheek. “See? Bon appétit.”

    “You're really gonna be the death of me. You know that, don't you?”

   You chuckled, cheeks flushing red at the comment. “I know.” You added a final pinch of salt to your meal and started to drain it. “So, tell me, Mr Min. Why did you and your friends approach me so often today? Was it something I did?”

   Yoongi went silent for a moment, as if pondering how to reply. You leaned against the counter, waiting for your meal to drain.

    “I may or may not have spoken to them about you just a little bit,” he replied, making you stop dead almost immediately. He seemed to catch on to your reaction through your silence, as he was quick to try and redeem himself. “It wasn't anything obvious! They still don't know that we're – they still don't know we're together. But remember a few days ago when you wore your hair up in that messy bun?”

  You grunted. “God, please don't remind me. I hadn't slept the night before, and-”

   “I saw you walking past and I don't know what happened, but I just started telling them how good you looked,” he continued. “So now every time they see you, I have to stop them from going over to you. They're just trying to tease me, that's all.”

   You flushed, biting your lip. How you had once believed Yoongi to be a bad influence, somebody to ignore, was completely beyond you. His temper was short, sure, but he was the sweetest person you had ever had the privilege of meeting.

   “But you're the quietest one whenever they come up to me,” you said.

   “They think I'm just being shy,” Yoongi explained. “Little do they know, I struggle to bite my tongue when I'm around you. I don't think I'd be able to stop myself from flirting if I let myself talk.”

   You grumbled. “Stop.”

   He chuckled. “Alright, alright. I'll leave you to your cooking, Chef Ramsey. I have studying to do – talk to you tomorrow?”

  “As always,” you replied. “See you tomorrow.”

  “See you tomorrow. Love you.”

   “Love you.”

   And then the phone went dead. You stuffed your phone back into your pocket and leaned back against the counter, closing your eyes slowly; as soon as Yoongi's voice faded away, you found yourself feeling, once again, slightly unsafe. Like the weight was pressing back upon your shoulders, as if his voice had been the only thing keeping it away.

   Maybe it was. Maybe Yoongi was the only thing keeping you sane during times like these; maybe he was the reason you hadn't completely broken down.

    ---

   The next few days in school were made hell by the people in your year.

  Although Shuling was most definitely the most prominent of abusers, there were other people who had it out for you. People who saw your silence and lack of social skills as an easy target; during exam season, all of them seemed to appear from the wood works in their attempts to get a jab in every time they saw you.

     You scurried down the hallway faster than usual, pressing your notebooks and textbooks up against your cheek in any attempt to hide your face from the passers-by. It had gotten to the point where you no longer cared who it was; eye contact with anyone was risky, and so you avoided it at all costs.

    You hadn't properly spoken to Yoongi since that day in the staff room. He spent the majority of his free time with his friends in the hallway, and you had long since stopped hanging around the lockers during your breaks. You instead either hid in the girls bathrooms, or huddled yourself in the library with a cup of coffee and your homework to keep you occupied.

   It wasn't like you particularly enjoyed the isolation; some days, you wanted nothing more than to finish classes and head over to Yoongi, talk to him like how you always wanted to – but the idea of Shuling seeing you, the insults she would throw at you if she were to see you conversing with the school bad boy were too much to bare; seeing her at all was too much to bare, which was why you spent your breaks curled up in the corner of the library with a book on your lap, telling Yoongi everything was fine over text.

    That was about as much as you and Yoongi could do during these busy months; texting and phone calls, the odd broom closet make out session whenever one of you was feeling particularly stressed out; but it was nothing more than that. Yoongi hadn't even come over to your house, too busy with his own studying to think of visiting you outside of school.

   Today was no different from any other day.

   You walked in the front doors, hood pulled on up over your head to give you that extra protection from the prying eyes of your fellow school mates. You darted down the hallway, avoiding eye contact with everyone, and quickly slid into your first class of the day – ten minutes early, as per usual.

   Only this time, the classroom wasn't empty.

   Today, the English room held one student who very rarely showed up early – in fact, he very rarely even showed up on time. He was always five to ten minutes late, so seeing him lounging back in the chair with his headphones dangling from his ears was quite a shock to the system.

   You froze in the doorway, glancing around the small classroom with a look of apprehension and confusion on your face. Yoongi hadn't realised you had entered, his back to the door with his headphones blocking out any noise.

   “Uh – Yoongi?” you called out, but he didn't even flinch.

  Slowly, you set your books down on the edge of a nearby desk and approached the oblivious boy. You placed a hand on his shoulder, and he was immediately snapping up as if you had electrocuted him.

   “Yah!” he exclaimed, spinning around in his chair with wide eyes. You couldn't help but burst out laughing, timidly covering your mouth to stifle the noise from the outside world.

   Yoongi groaned at your reaction, plucking his headphones from his ears and placing them on the table. He didn't wait, didn't respond to the fright you had given him; instead, his hands were immediately reaching out and grabbing you by the hips, tugging you into him. You bunched your fists against his chest, still laughing even as he pressed a firm kiss to the top of your head.

   “Good morning to you, too,” he grumbled.

   “What are you doing here so early?” you asked, looking up at him as your laughter died down to little bursts of giggling.

   “I wanted to see you,” he replied. “So I dragged my ass out of bed a few minutes early so I could catch you on time – it looks like I got here before you, though.”

   “You're just such a good student.”

   He smiled that gummy smile that you loved so much. “That's what it is. Now where's my kiss?”

   You rolled your eyes before kissing him. It was only gentle, your fingers travelling up his neck and gently resting on the edge of his jaw. He shuddered beneath the feel of your fingertips, the feather light touch which seemed to please him so much. Whilst your hands were soft and gentle, his own were knotted in the back of your t-shirt, tugging you impossibly closer to him.

   You savoured this moment, because you knew it wouldn't last long. It couldn't last long. This moment in itself was risky enough, but you found yourself not caring.

   He pulled away first, smiling down at you playfully. “I really can't wait till exams are over and we can do this whenever we want.”

   “Not in school,” you said, patting his chest before stepping away from him, wiping a hand over your now swollen lips.

   He groaned. “Why not?”

   “First of all, PDA annoys people,” you replied. Yoongi rolled his eyes at this, reached forward and pulled you between his knees as he sat himself up on the desk.

   “And is there another reason?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

   “Nobody knows we're actually a couple,” you said.

   “We can change that. At least for the people who matter.”

    God, how you would love for that to be the case; for you and Yoongi to be able to be together without the added accessory of hate that would surely accompany it whenever the news spread; you had Shuling to worry about, as much as you hated to admit it. She should have meant nothing to you, her opinion should have meant nothing, but the idea of adding fuel to an already burning fire was too much for you to comprehend right now.

   But you nodded anyway, gently running your hands through Yoongi's hair. “Yeah. Maybe one day, babe.”

   Yoongi sighed through his nose, leaned forward and pressed his forehead against your collarbone. Class would be starting in a few minutes time, and you found yourself dreading the idea of this moment being over.

    You were so caught up in the moment in question that neither of you noticed or heard the sound of the door creaking open behind you. Not until she spoke.

     “Oh, this is something.”

   You were fairly certain your heart had frozen in your chest the minute you heard her voice bouncing off of the classroom walls.

   You pulled away from Yoongi quickly, him falling forward as his forehead detached from your collar bone. He just barely managed to catch himself, his eyes darting up to look at Shuling who was standing by the door with an amused smirk present on her face.

   You could feel your skin paling, could feel your hands tingling with nerves at your side. It was like the room was closing in around you, because she looked so pleased with herself. For once in her life, she had something to tease you over that didn't involve your looks, or your lack of social skills – now she genuinely had a rumour to spread.

   This was it. This was the end of the tiny, tiny career you had managed to scrape from the bottom of the damn barrel. What little dignity you had left was soon going to be demolished, and it was all because you had been lost in the moment with the man you loved.

    “What do you want?” Yoongi grunted, putting back on his bad-boy persona that only ever seemed to dip whenever he was around you.

   Shuling looked up at him through her circular glasses and raised an eyebrow, as if asking him if his question was a serious one. “Sorry to be blunt, Min Yoongi, but I just walked in you two making out in the English classroom – quite scandalous, if you were to ask me.”

   “Good thing nobody did ask you.”

   You paled. “Yoongi, please...”

    “I'm disappointed, Y/N-ah,” said Shuling. “And I'm sure Mr Jong will be quite disappointed as well. Not to mention shocked – you two are hardly compatible. I think most of the school will be shocked to find out.”

   “Shuling, please don't do this,” you said. You felt Yoongi's eyes snap up to look at you, confusion very clearly lacing his thoughts. You had once been so ready to tell people about your relationship with him – at least, you had given off that illusion. Yoongi had always told you that he was ready to tell people whenever, that he didn't see an issue in telling people about the two of you – it was just something you two kept to yourself for now.

    But now it seemed as if you were almost terrified of the prospect, and it wasn't because of Yoongi. It would never be because of Yoongi. You loved him, and he loved you, and there was nothing to be ashamed of when it came to such facts – it was how other people would react.

   Call you self-conscious, but you weren't entirely sure you would be able to cope with any more rude comments being sent your way – not on top of the ones that were already there.

   Yoongi wouldn't understand that. He didn't know about the bullying, because you hadn't told him, and you hadn't planned on telling him. To him, right now, you must have truly looked like you were ashamed of being his girlfriend, and that thought alone had tears springing to your eyes in seconds.

    Shuling simply smiled at your plea, folding her arms over her chest. “There's nothing to be ashamed of, Y/N. He's hardly ugly now, is he?”

   “Would you just piss off?” Yoongi growled, sliding off of the desk and pulling his bag onto his shoulders. “Your voice goes through me.”

   Yoongi slid an arm around your waist, pressed a kiss to the bottom of your ear before he was walking past Shuling, a glare in his eye as he did so. Shuling merely grinned at him, didn't move as Yoongi gave you one last farewell smile and exited the room; he clearly didn't want to be in Shuling's presence any more than you did. He didn't know about your and Shuling's relationship, meaning he saw no issue with leaving you alone with her.

   As soon as the door was closed behind Yoongi, Shuling's gaze snapped to yours and she started to clap sarcastically. “Little Y/N is getting more dick than I thought!”

   You closed your eyes. “Shuling-”

   “You could have told me, honestly,” the girl scoffed. “Somebody like Min Yoongi warming up your bed? God, the things people are gonna say!”

   “Leave Yoongi-”

   “I think I'll tell Mr Jong first – this is his classroom, after all.” She suddenly gasped, startling you. “Unless you and Yoongi have done it in other places around the school! Is your Mummy too strict? Does she not let boys sleep over, so you have to get it on in school? How scandalous!”

    “Shuling, I'll do anything!” you exclaimed. “I'll buy you coffee for the rest of the school year, every single morning. I'll buy you lunch if that's what you want – I'll do your homework. Just please, please don't get Yoongi involved in this.”

   “Why?” Shuling stepped forward, tilting her head. “Oh, that's right. Your little boyfriend is already on the watch list for being expelled, isn't he? If the teachers were to find out he was doing inappropriate things in the classrooms-”

   “We're not having sex in school!” you exclaimed, before you flushed.

   Shuling grinned. “But the teachers hardly have any proof of that, and from what I've just walked in on – well, you may as well have been going the full way. I'm only doing what's right.”

   “Yoongi didn't do anything to you.”

   “Yoongi is a god damn idiot,” Shuling snapped. “All he does is wade around school with his pack of idiot friends, making stupid songs because he can't get a real job. I'd be doing him a favour if I got him expelled – maybe then he'd spend more time trying to get a real hobby.”

   Before you could say anything else, the bell rang, signalling the start of first period. You stared at Shuling in both shock and horror as she span on her heel, not even giving you a second glance before she darted out of the door to go and line up outside with the rest of the students.

   Your hands were trembling. You were fairly certain there was sweat now soaking the collar of your shirt. The thought – the mere thought – of the horrors that were about to follow this very situation had you needing to sit down before you truly did collapse.

   ---

    You ignored Yoongi as best as you could for the days following.

   It was excruciating. Now that you were actively trying to avoid him, he seemed to be popping up everywhere. Now that he was aware somebody knew about your and his relationship, he no longer cared about the idea of being caught – every time you saw him, he would smile and wave at you in a way he had never done before; with fondness, no longer caring about who saw.

   You didn't wave back to him, instead choosing to duck your head down and pretend you never saw him in the first place. You had set your bag down on the chair next to you during English class just to stop him from sitting beside you. You ate your lunch in the library rather than sitting in the cafeteria, where Yoongi and his friends were always chatting loudly to one another in the food line, or marching on tables as the teachers looked on in annoyance.

    But it was always Yoongi who caught your eye, and he had on the exact same look every single time – absolute confusion.

   He must have thought it was his fault you weren't speaking to him. As the days went on and you continued to ignore him, his eyes only got sadder, his frown growing deeper, the jokes he shared with his friends growing sparser and sparser – it killed you. It truly did hurt to see him grow sadder and sadder with the passing days, but it would only benefit him in the long run.

   You knew you could have broken up with him, but that was the last thing you wanted to do. You loved him. It wasn't just a high school crush, a simple infatuation with the school bad boy – Yoongi had seen every side to you, and you truly struggled to imagine a life where he wasn't in it.

   Breaking up with him would have been the best option, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. Perhaps, over time, with you ignoring him, he would choose to break things off himself. It would be difficult to bare, but it would be easier than doing the job on your own.

   The fifth day rolled around, and that was when the rumours finally started to sprout.

   Shuling had very clearly struck. On this particular morning, it wasn't just the usual group of bullies who you were trying to avoid – it was everyone. Every single person in the hallway, it seemed, were whispering about you as you barrelled down the hall in search of your first class – people snickered, called you Yoongi's 'play-thing.' You had no doubt in your mind that Shuling had exaggerated her recollection of what she had walked in on, made it seem like you and Yoongi were having a quickie in the middle of Mr Jong's classroom on a cold Monday morning.

    You didn't see Yoongi at all that day. On the few occasions where you saw his group emerging from their different classes, Yoongi wasn't with them. His friends tried to speak to you on multiple occasions throughout the day, having clearly heard the news and wanting nothing more than to learn the truth, but you had scurried past them without even saying hello.

   You couldn't talk to them about it. Not right now. Not with the entire school having their eyes on you.

    “I bet she slept with Mr Jong, as well.”

   “She's such an idiot for having sex with Min Yoongi. That guy is such a player.”

  “I bet he's not in today because he's away shagging some girl behind the PE hall.”

   The comments continued, only growing worse as the day went on. It got to the point where people were beginning to call you whore, as if the idea of sex was some taboo, disgusting concept to them. You very nearly rolled your eyes – you were eighteen years old. You could do what you wanted. You were a consenting adult, and Yoongi was somebody you loved and trusted with every fibre of your being – what was the issue?

  Oh yes. The issue was, the people saying these things thought you and Yoongi had hooked up in a classroom, minutes before class was due to start.

   “And we all thought she was the golden student...”

   By the end of the day, you were completely exhausted.

   You walked home amidst the yellings and teasings of people who didn't even know what they were talking about. As soon as you opened the front door of your house, saw your parents weren't home, you collapsed on the sofa and let every single emotion you had been bottling up explode into the pillow.

   The tears poured from your eyes, silent sobs racking your body and making your shoulders shake. You didn't want to be too loud in case the neighbours heard – you weren't even sure why you cared so much. This was your issue – you just cared. You wanted to please everyone to the point where it was truly as if strangers were running your life rather than yourself.

   You clutched the pillow close to your chest, gripping it tight as if in doing so, you could squeeze away everything that had happened today.

    It seemed like hours had passed before the door to the house was being knocked upon. Your head peaked out from beneath the quilt you had dragged downstairs, eyeing the front door with concern – who could be visiting you right now? Your parents were at work, and they wouldn't knock in the first place.

    Hesitantly, you stood up and peaked through the peephole.

   Your heart was immediately ripped from your chest, and every single ounce of willpower you had been storing up crumbled.

   You threw open the door, sobs already starting again as you tossed yourself into Yoongi's arms, just needing to feel his arms around you, just needing him to hold you.

   He didn't even ask questions as he wrapped his arms around your waist, buried his head in the crook of your neck and held you close to him. You sobbed into his shoulder, not caring about the passers-by who were gazing at you and Yoongi with confusion – they didn't matter. Not right now.

   Yoongi picked you up, letting you wrap your legs around his waist so he could carry you into the house. He kicked the door closed, gently placed you down on the sofa and stood over you with a concerned glint playing in his gaze.

   “Where were you today?” you managed to choke out, lazily wiping your hands over your cheeks.

   “I didn't – I didn't come in,” he replied. “I didn't see a point.”

   “I missed you.”

   “You've been ignoring me for days, Y/N.”

   “I'm sorry.” You closed your eyes, the weight of the world pressing down on your shoulders. You had hurt him. You could see you had hurt him in the way he looked so exhausted right now, the way he looked as if he was torn between comforting you and screaming at you for ignoring him all this time.

    God, he should have been screaming. He should have broken up with you ages ago – not to save you from the comments that had been hauled at you today, but because you had treated him so badly in an attempt to save yourself from the backlash that loving him brought upon you.

   Yoongi sighed through his nose, folding his arms over his chest and looking down at you with that same, misplaced look of concern on his face. He should have been angry. Hell, he shouldn't have even been giving you the time of day.

   “This whole thing with Shuling has really freaked you out, hasn't it?” he asked in a soft voice.

   You nibbled on your trembling bottom lip. He didn't know the half of it.

   Slowly, Yoongi lowered himself into a crouch in front of you. He rested his hands on your knees to balance himself, gently rubbed circles into your legs that comforted you more than he would ever understand.

   “I know my reputation isn't that good,” he mumbled. “People go around and say I'm a player just because I'm a little rough around the edges, so I understand why you'd – why you'd maybe not want people to know that I'm your boyfriend-”

   Your eyes widened. You opened your mouth to object, to tell Yoongi that you were in no way embarrassed of him, but he continued speaking before you could get a word out.

   “But I want you to know that I love you, and I'm so proud to be able to call you my girlfriend – nobody knew I was going to do as well as I have done.” He smiled shyly, a blush rising on his cheeks. “I don't deserve you. Anybody with common sense can see that.”

   “Yoongi,” you croaked out, a fresh batch of tears springing to your eyes again. “That's not why I ignored you. I didn't – I didn't ignore you because I'm ashamed of you. I'm not ashamed of you. At all.”

   Yoongi frowned then, looking up at you with a heartbreaking look of confusion. “Then what is it?”

   You swallowed the golf ball sized lump in your throat; he had gone out of his way to visit you, to make sure you were okay whenever you least deserved that kind of treatment. He had pushed away the fact that you had completely ignored him for the past five days, had put his love for you before anything else – you couldn't lie to him. Not any more.

   And who knows: maybe he would help you in the long run.

   The tears flooded your eyes once again as you inhaled deeply and looked down at him. Your voice cracked when you spoke, but you were too busy trying to think of what to say next to do anything about it. “I've been. . . I've been getting picked on.”

   You winced. Picked on wasn't a strong enough phrase to describe it.

   “For a few years now,” you added. “I can't really – I mean, I can't really walk down the halls without – without people making fun of me. Which is why I tend to hide in the mornings.”

   Yoongi didn't say anything. He looked slightly shell shocked, his jaw clenched and his fingers gripping the material of your jeans a little tighter than before.

   You swallowed again before continuing. “I knew people were gonna talk about us whenever they found out about our relationship, and I wasn't sure if I could handle any more scrutiny, Yoongi. I just couldn't do it – I was barely handling the things they were already saying. That's why – That's why I backed off. That's why I ignored you. That's why I was so adamant to keep us a secret. It was selfish, and I'm sorry if I made you think I loved you any less because of it.”

    Yoongi reached up suddenly, cupping your face in his hands. You were startled; he didn't do this often. His eyes were boring into yours, and you could feel his hands trembling around your jaw as his thumbs jolted out and swiped the tears off your cheeks.

   “It's okay. It's okay,” he whispered, over and over. “Tell me who it is. Tell me who's bullying you, and I swear to god I'll-”

  “No, Yoongi, no,” you said, placing your hands over his. His breathing had become shallow, deep in his chest as he tried to suppress his anger. “Please don't do anything stupid. It'll only back fire on you.”

   “How long has it been going on?” he asked you.

   “Ever since first year. But it's okay. I'm okay. I can ignore them, and-”

   “It's not okay,” he barked, startling you into silence. “Jesus, I didn't even realise! How could I not have realised?”

   “It's-”

   “It's Shuling, isn't it? Her and her little group,” he snarled, and you had never before heard such anger in his tone. “That day whenever you didn't get lunch – it was because of the coffee, wasn't it? She made you buy her a coffee.”

   “She does it a lot. That's nothing I can't handle.”

   “I don't care whether you can handle it or not,” Yoongi scoffed, suddenly shooting upright, his hands detaching from your face so he could run them through his hair. “She has no right to do that to you. I think I'm gonna have to have a little word with her-”

   “Yoongi,” you groaned, reaching forward and grabbing his wrist. “I'm fine. I didn't tell you all this to get you riled up. I told you so there would be no more secrets between us, and now that those bridges have been crossed, we can forget about it.”

   Yoongi shook his head. “I'm not forgetting about it. That bitch is making your life a living hell – she's the reason you don't even like walking in the hallways. It's about time she got put in her place.”

   “And how are you going to do that? I know you. You won't hit a girl.”

   “Oh, I don't need to use violence to get my point across,” Yoongi growled. You went silent then, could only imagine the type of comments that were already brewing in his head, ready to be thrown out to Shuling whenever he got the chance.

   It took hours for Yoongi to finally calm down; hours where you refused to let him leave the house in fear of him stepping in front of a car in some uncoordinated rage. His head wasn't on right. He paced around your kitchen, running his hands through his hair repeatedly as you brewed him hot chocolate after hot chocolate in any attempt to get him to sit down and calm himself.

    By the time it was growing dark outside, you had finally managed to drag him over to the sofa, where he pulled you into his chest and rested his cheek against the top of your head. His breathing was still shallow, anger still obvious in his demeanour, but he held you with that usual gentle grip that always made you feel safe and loved, no matter what the underlying tones to his mood were.

   Eventually, you both managed to fall asleep, and it was like the world didn't exist for those few hours.

   ---

   You and Yoongi walked into school together for the first time ever.

   You weren't even nervous about people looking at you both any more – you were nervous about what Yoongi was going to do whenever he saw Shuling. Although you had made your apprehension towards him comfronting her very clear the previous night, Yoongi had never actually agreed to back down. In fact, he seemed to think you were only telling him not to because you were nervous.

   And maybe that was the case, but you still didn't want him losing his temper; not whenever he was already walking on very thin ice with the school as it was.

   You entered the hallways hand-in-hand. Yoongi had his hood on over his head, as per usual, but he walked with an air of confidence surrounding him now; one that most definitely hadn't been there before.

    It was as if he was daring anybody to make a comment about the two of you.

   His grip tightened on your hand to the point where he was basically dragging you through the crowded hallway.

    “You're not gonna do anything stupid, are you?” you whispered.

   Yoongi didn't respond, though you knew he had heard you.

    “Yoongi-”

   “There you two are!”

   Namjoon and Hoseok came sprinting up to the both of you with panicked glints in their eyes. Yoongi froze in front of them, raising a brow in question. Namjoon and Hoseok spent a total of two seconds taking in the sight of you and Yoongi holding hands before they were bursting out into speech.

    “Shuling Wo's been going around telling everyone that she walked in on you two having sex in the caretakers office,” Hoseok informed you. “We told her to come off it and to stop spreading lies, but she's sticking to her story.” Hoseok then leaned in, lowered his voice to a desperate whisper. “It's not true, is it?”

   Yoongi growled, shoved Hoseok's face away from him. His hand was slipping out of yours before you could comprehend what he was doing, and he was marching away in seconds.

   “Where is she? Where did you talk to her?”

  Hoseok stumbled after his friend, whilst you and Namjoon lagged behind with looks of panic flashing upon your faces. Namjoon was most definitely the more mature person in Yoongi's group of friends, and you could tell he wasn't all for the hostility that was about to ensue – but you could also tell he wasn't about to put up with the rumours being spread around, either, which was why he didn't say or do anything to stop Yoongi from stampeding through the crowd of students.

   “She was standing by her locker, just like she always is in the morning,” said Hoseok. “What are you gonna do? Go to a teacher? Get her suspended?”

   “I'm gonna have a little chat with her,” said Yoongi, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

   You struggled to keep up with them, nerves eating away at your stomach. You wanted to turn around and let him deal with her on his own – there was no way of persuading him to calm down – not now. Not whenever he was involved in the rumours being spread.

    Hoseok laughed, turning around and giving you and Namjoon an excited grin that neither of you returned.

   It didn't take long for the five of you to find Shuling. As soon as you saw her, your stomach flipped and you instinctively grabbed for Namjoon's hand – anything to comfort you, anything to remind you that you now had people on your side – for the first time in forever, you had people who wanted to protect you.

   Namjoon didn't hesitate to squeeze your hand, giving you a comforting smile. “It'll be okay. He won't do anything too risky. He knows-”

  “Oi! Shuling!” Yoongi yelled.

   Your eyes widened at the volume. The usually quiet and mysterious demeanour of Min Yoongi had disappeared in an instant, leaving behind this yelling ball of rage who was barrelling towards a startled looking Shuling.

   Despite the confident aura she had given off only a few days prior, you saw her facade drop as soon as she saw the anger raging in Yoongi's eyes.

   “How about me and you have a little chat about some things you've been saying recently, huh?” Yoongi continued, not keeping his voice down. He stopped right in front of her, and you were shocked to see her friends genuinely cower away from him, as if finally catching on that they had perhaps gone too far by including him in their bullying.

   Shuling didn't cower, though her eyes betrayed her. She could barely keep the eye contact with Yoongi, despite her quick tongue and sarcastic comments. “How nice of you to visit me this morning, Yoongi. Was the back room of the music block a little bit too stuffy?”

    “I heard you had a little slip of the tongue,” Yoongi growled, ignoring her comments. “Now, why don't you explain to me what it is you've been telling people about me and Y/N. I love a good story in the morning.”

   Shuling's eyes flashed. “What? About the caretakers office? Do you not remember?”

  “Shuling,” one of her friends hissed, gripping her elbows. “Maybe we should-”  

  “No, no,” Yoongi interrupted, raising a hand to silence the girl. “I wanna hear what she has to say.”

   Shuling's smile wavered. “If you're worried about whether or not I've told the teachers, I can assure you I haven't. I honestly don't know how word got around – I kept your secret safe.”

   “There is no secret,” Yoongi snarled. “You're making it up to make Y/N look bad.”

  “Why would I do that to precious Y/N? Look at her.” Shuling's gaze slid to you. “So innocent. Even if she is a little kinky in the bedroom-”

    “Yoongi!” you exclaimed before he had even moved. You could just tell he was losing grips on his restraint, that he wouldn't last much longer if Shuling continued to talk in the way she was; acting as if she had done nothing wrong, as if the rumours she had spread were truth.

   You broke free of Namjoon's grasp, pushed past Hoseok and wrapped your fingers around Yoongi's upper-arm. Once again, he was breathing deeply, his eyes never once leaving Shuling's.

    You perched up on your tippy toes, lips brushing his ear as you said, “Don't stoop to her level. You're better than this. Just make your point, and go.”

   Yoongi inhaled deeply, clenching his fists by his sides. You lowered yourself back to the ground and let your hand slide down his arm, tangling your fingers in his and gently stroking your thumb back and forth over his knuckles.

   “I don't even know why I bothered to give you attention,” Yoongi finally snarled. “You're spending your high school years trying to make somebody else's life a living hell – that tells me so much more about who you are than who Y/N is, because I know Y/N. Even though you're going around and making her sound like the scum of the earth, it doesn't matter – because anybody with two eyes and common sense will be able to see that she's twice the girl you'll ever be. She doesn't pride herself off of hurting other people. She isn't a sick little bastard like-” You squeezed his hand. He cut himself off, taking a shaky breath before continuing. “Have fun spreading your rumours like a jealous four year old. I'll look forward to the day where it comes out you were lying, and Y/N and I can sit back and laugh at you for thinking you could outsmart karma.”

    Hoseok was yelling in his excitement as Yoongi squeezed your hand, gave Shuling one last glare over his shoulder before he was dragging you back through the crowd. Namjoon and Hoseok skittered after the two of you, Namjoon even grinning from ear to ear as the crowd watched you all disappear back down the hallway.

    You couldn't speak. No words were forming in your brain – it was simply white noise. The things he had said, the way he had said them with such confidence – it was truly that easy. You had seen the look of pure horror washing over Shuling's face as Yoongi's anger became prominent – for years, you had been trying to get her to leave you alone, and Yoongi makes one speech directed at her, and she's suddenly cowering in her boots.

    Yoongi didn't say anything to you the entire way to first period; it was Hoseok and Namjoon's excited ramblings that filled the silence, but you found yourself blocking out their voices, instead choosing to concentrate on the silent man beside you.

   ---

    Yoongi plunged his fork into the potato wedge on your plate. You sent him a glare.

   He grinned at you playfully, chewing at the food. You couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of him; at least you were beside him. It was still weird to you, sitting beside him and his friends in the cafeteria with not a worry in the world over who would be watching you, who was judging.

   It had been a week since Yoongi had confronted Shuling, and a week since the last time Shuling had said anything to you. In fact, she was even avoiding your gaze nowadays, refusing to look up from her locker when you walked down the hallway.

   You were still shy, still quiet. Just because the bullying had come to a slow halt didn't mean you were going to be any less timid. You still tried to hide your face behind your stack of books, still struggled to raise your hand in class, still struggled to talk to new people.

   But things were looking up. You had Yoongi, and you were genuinely starting to bond with the other six boys who treated you as more of a little sister than anything else – despite the majority of them being in the years below your own.

    As Yoongi and you shared a plate of potato wedges, somebody tapped on your shoulder.

   You turned around, eyes immediately widening at the sight of Shuling standing behind you. Yoongi froze at your side, dropping his fork onto the plate. You were quick to reach beneath the table, tangle your fingers in his own to stop him from doing anything irrational.

   “Shuling,” you said, not unkindly. There was no point in being hostile – it wouldn't get you anywhere, and you were well aware that you were about as threatening as a new born puppy.

   She sneered. “Y/N. I just came to tell your boyfriend here that he was right with what he told me a few days ago.” She inhaled, as if the words genuinely hurt for her to admit. “Karma will get to me, and I want to make amends – I'm an adult now, and there was no need for me to be as rude as I was.”

    She nodded then.

  You and Yoongi stared at her in silence, your jaw opening just a little bit. Even the tension in Yoongi's shoulders had deflated with the disbelief.

   “Are you serious?” you said before you could stop yourself.

   Years upon years of constant bullying was suddenly flashing through your mind. Memories of yourself curling up in the bathroom stall, crying into your knees over something this bitch had said to you – and now she was wading up to you with a half-ass apology, fully expecting you to forgive her for everything she had done?

   You believed in forgiveness, in second chances, but you also believed in having the right to dismiss someone's apology whenever you didn't see it as sincere – especially if that somebody was apologising purely for their own reputation.

   Chances were, people had found out she had been lying and now she was trying to patch things up in her attempts to keep her image crystal clean.

    “Are you serious?” you repeated, more bluntly now. “You think we're actually gonna believe that? You're just scared Yoongi's gonna call you out in front of the entire school again!”   

   You heard Yoongi choke on air at the side of you. Shuling merely looked at you with wide eyes.

   You rolled your own eyes, grabbed Yoongi's hand and stood up. You weren't sure where this new found confidence was sprouting from, but it was mixed with anger and disbelief that Shuling truly had the audacity to say such a thing.

   Yoongi stumbled up, following you as you shoved past your ex-bully. He was laughing, laughed even harder whenever you slammed your shoulder against Shuling's in your attempts to get her out of your way. She stumbled to the side, a gasp escaping her lips.

   But you didn't give her the time of day. You didn't even look back at her as you and Yoongi left the cafeteria together, Yoongi laughing the entire way into the hallway.

   As soon as the door to the cafeteria closed behind you, you shook your head. “The nerve of her. Did you see her face? She genuinely thought we were just going to forgive her so easily!”

  Yoongi shook his head, looking at you with a new glint in his eyes that you had never seen before; it would have made you flush had it not been for the anger coursing through you.

   “The audacity,” Yoongi said, grinning from ear-to-ear. “I've never seen you get so riled up.”

  You folded your arms over your chest. “Your speech from a week back must have inspired me to not take any more shit from people who think they're better than everyone else.”

   Yoongi stepped forward, wrapped a protective arm around your shoulders. “No, babe. That was all you.”

   And you grinned, despite yourself. You grinned, because Yoongi was beside you, and you had just stood up to a high school bully for the first time in your life.

   Everything was starting to look up, and you had never before felt so free and confident to do what you wanted.

[nethwan]

Red Tulips

NedTai Week

Day 1: Flowers

Summary: The beginning of wonderful times 

Note: Tulip Day was on January 19th this year, and Lantern Festival was on February 19th, both celebrations were an exactly month apart.

Red tulips: also mean perfect love.

Also: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17903945

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13220186/1/NEDTAI-WEEK

That morning, certain Dutchman spent almost an hour choosing a tie. He felt ridiculous, but he wanted to look good, maybe “impress”. It wasn’t going to be a relevant meeting, just the usual matters. However he had something important to do. After some weeks he would finally see her. They had been very busy lately; messages and calls couldn’t replace the presence of the other.

“Which one is better?” he asked his siblings, showing them two ties.

“Blue”

“Green”

He sighed annoyed. Anyways, both were a present that certain Taiwanese girl gave him for his birthday, and then he looked his reflection in the mirror. He smiled, just thinking about her made him feel butterflies in his stomach.

-------------

After say hello to his acquaintances, he looked for her everywhere. Taiwan was talking with other nations when her eyes met his. She approached, smiling. His heart almost stopped. Why she had to be so cute? He thought. That sweet smile made him forget his problems. She just stood there next to him, he would have liked that she fell into his arms and kissed him; he guessed she didn’t do it because they were in public.

It wasn’t a secret that they were together, everyone knew it. Even though they were nations they had a personal life, so dating wasn’t forbidden for any of them. He hesitated before lean and gave her a kiss on the cheek. They preferred displays of affection when they were alone, but he couldn’t resist, he had missed her a lot. She giggled and took his hand.

“We are finally together” she said.

“Finally”

Then she invited him to have lunch together, but first she wanted to change her clothes. He accompanied her to her hotel room. That had been an excuse. As soon as they got in the bedroom, she hugged him and kissed him. He kissed her back; he needed the warmth of her body, the taste of her kisses and everything of her.

They had been friends for several years, he didn’t remember exactly since when and how. One day he just found himself hanging out with her. Their friendship was unexpected because they were completely different, but they shared hobbies like reading and gardening; he enjoyed her company and their conversations.

Later their relationship changed. He started noticing the little details like when she played with her hair when she was nervous, that sparkle in her eyes when she saw something she liked; he loved each of her expressions and how passionate she was about things she enjoyed.

Their love, even more than their friendship, was an amazing happening, and none of them regretted it. He loved her and she loved him back, and nothing else mattered.

At that moment he wanted to talk about their days off. After months of work, they could enjoy of their holidays. In his mind, he had planned everything: they’d spend those days in Amsterdam, and later they’d celebrate New Year’s at her place.

“Wan…” he said, interrupting a kiss. “You know Tulip Day will be in some days… what if we spend our first days of holidays together in Amsterdam again”  

“Sure!” she said, smiling. “You have to choose the prettiest tulips for me”

He smiled and kissed her again.

----------------------------

A couple of days later, he waited for her at the airport. He was impatient and nervous. She would be only his for a couple of weeks and he wanted to enjoy every moment by her side. During that time they wouldn’t be the Netherlands and Taiwan, they’d be Lars and Mei, a normal couple more.

She fell into his arms and kissed him as soon as she saw him. She noticed that he had changed his hair style and he was wearing more casual clothes.

“Bunny, you look really handsome today!” she said excited.

“I just wanted to not being noticed by my people” he said, shyly. She kissed him again, and took his hand.

They went to his house, after a flight of several hours she needed to rest. He cooked her favorite dish and both enjoyed a lovely night together. For the first time in days, he slept well and had nice dreams, but he felt a bit anxious.

The next day they arrived to Amsterdam’s Dam Square just in time. She gasped when she saw all that variety of tulips in all colors and types. She had been there in other occasions, but that spectacle always amazed her.

“I don’t know which of them I should choose. All of them are beautiful”

“I’ll choose some for you, remember?” he said quietly.

He took her hand and they walked around. He wanted to give her the perfect tulips. Finally, he picked a few red ones, the most beautiful he found. She smiled because she knew that red tulips meant love. She took them as if that bouquet was the most delicate treasure. She was about to hug him, when he asked her to go to another site with less people.

She thought that it was strange because they had just arrived, but she followed him. He was so pale, and she could feel that he was trembling. He had planning to give her the gift when they were at home, but he couldn’t wait a second more.

“Bunny… what’s wrong?”

When they were in a lonelier place, he gave her a small box.  

“This is for you. Open it”

She did it and when she saw the content, she gasped and started crying. That wasn’t the reaction he was waiting for. Maybe she wasn’t ready, maybe it was a bad moment. Or probably she didn’t love him in that way, he thought scared.

“I’m really sorry, Wan… Mei. Please, forgive me. It wasn’t my intention to make you cry” he said.

She tried to calm down.

“You… don’t have to apologize” she sobbed. “Actually, I’m very happy, I love you with all my heart, and I’ve been dreaming of this moment, but you know we can’t…”

“I know. I know we can’t really get married and we can’t have children either, we can’t even live together. I know all that” he said wiping her tears away and caressing her face.

He looked at her in the eyes and continued talking.

“I am not good with words, but believe me when I say that I love you. I love you more than anything. I’m very grateful to have you in my life, and even if we can’t be like all those couples, I still want to be by your side. See this ring as a proof that my heart belongs to you”

“Bunny, my heart is yours. Thank you for loving me”

“And thank you for loving me too. Maybe as nations we can’t be really married, but what about Lars and Mei? Do you think they can get married? If that’s the case, then, will you marry me?”

“Yes, I will” she replied, crying with joy.

He took her hand and placed the ring in her finger. She hugged him. She felt the same for him; it was just that she never imagined that he would do something like that. She thought they didn’t have a chance to at least do that kind of promise.

Maybe they couldn’t be like a normal couple, but their love was strong enough to survive that obstacle. Their love was like the meaning of those red tulips: undying and eternal.

[dethalive-blog]

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[jasonislostinjapan]

4/19/19 Update

Hello again everyone!! I really was planning to make a post much earlier, but I had been a lot busier recently than expected. This is going to be a fairly long post, so get ready to read! 

About three weeks ago, I moved into my apartment in Yotsuya, which is in central Tokyo. I love my neighborhood, because there are so many cute houses, lots of trees, and a bunch of little shrines/temples. My apartment building is pretty old and I have to walk up to the fifth floor, but my room is much more spacious than last summer’s and looks very clean and new. 

-Night view from the balcony of my apartment.

-Some food I made at home. I don’t always eat out!

About two weeks ago, I went out to meet with a group of William & Mary and Keio University students! Everyone in the group had studied or will study abroad at each others’ schools. We ate at an izakaya (a bar-type restaurant with small dishes and drinks). Lots of yummy treats and all-you-can-drink made for a good night, lol. We ended up going to another drinking place right after that, which taught me how much Japanese people like to drink! 

-Picture of the group before heading to the last trains at midnight

One weekend, I went out to participate in hanami, which is the viewing of cherry blossoms. Luckily, I was able to experience the sakura in full bloom, and it was just amazing getting to see them while walking around any place in Tokyo. One popular place is by the Naka-meguro river. The world’s largest Starbucks is also there, which had a wait of over an hour just to enter! Obviously, I did not go in. 

-Random selfie because I know how much you all miss my face

-Outside of world’s largest Starbucks: the Starbucks Reserve Roastery (also wow that girl has really nice hair. Everyone in Japan has such nicely cut and styled hair it makes me feel like a bum)

I also got to meet up with my tomodachi (friend) group through a program at my school. Two of them are Japanese students (Keito and Hina) and one of them is an exchange student from Taiwan (Ling-Yi). Keito grew up in the Saitama prefecture, which is about an hour northwest of Tokyo. I felt bad because it takes him two hours just to commute to school! He specifically grew up in a town called Kawagoe, so he showed us around. It is a very traditional town with many old buildings and is actually trying to attract more tourists. We tried a few different snacks (they are known for sweet potatoes), biked around town, and also visited a shrine and saw sakura. Thank you Keito!!

-Street in Kawagoe with koinobori (hanging carp streamers)

-SUPER beautiful river with sakura and gentle sunlight. Put me into a dreamlike state to be honest.

-Random picture of really good shaved ice (sakura and mango). I hadn’t had shaved ice in like a year, so I was really surprised by how much I liked it. We ordered three of these for just four people, which was way too much. Highly recommend careful portion control.

-Also had one of my favorite Japanese dishes, tsukemen, recently. If I haven’t explained it to you in person, it’s basically ramen except the noodles are on the side and you dip them into the broth (which is usually a bit thicker). SO GOOD. Why is this not a thing in the U.S.

Before I forget, I need to talk about school. I almost forgot that’s the reason I’m even in Japan. It has been really laid-back and fun so far! I keep making a variety of friends from so many different countries. It is so interesting to hear everyone’s commentary during class discussions. I am taking 9 classes, which is a lot but is only 16 credits. They each meet for 1.5 hrs once a week. I’m taking The World of Noh (type of Japanese theatre), Consumer Psychology, Deep Culture Differences in Japan, Human Engineering, Japanese Communication: Daily Life, Japanese Culture/Society in a Qualitative Perspective, Reading Colonialism in Asia, Japanese Grammar 6, and Japanese Society and Communication. All are not bad so far and pretty easy. It’s nice to not really have any science classes to stress over!

-Picture of some of the best pork ramen in Tokyo. The ramen shop is called Ramen Jiro and has many branches, but the original shop is right next to my university! I have never seen another foreigner eat here. Also probably because there is no menu displayed and everyone has to give their specific order in Japanese. It has amazingly soft, fatty pieces of pork with chewy noodles, garlic, bean sprouts, and cabbage. The portion is enormous and only costs $5.50! 

Just a few days ago, I went to visit Tokyo Tower, which is right down the road from my school. I went with a mutual friend I met at a club (also clubbing is really fun in Japan but that is a whole other story for another time). The lights of Tokyo Tower at dusk were really nice to see. There was also a small adventure park inside the building that we went to that was quite interesting lol. 

-Tokyo Tower. I was surprised when I found out the tower is actually 333 meters tall, taller than the Eiffel Tower’s 300 meters!

On another note, I recently got my MCAT score back and was really happy with my score. It is so nice to finally feel relieved after months of studying and a month of waiting for the results. It’s not always apparent, but I honestly worked so hard to get where I am today. I put in crazy amounts of time and energy into studying for mental breakdown-inducing exams in order to achieve my life-long goals. I am truly grateful for the people in my life who have supported me and make it all worth it. Anyway, this is the end of this really long post. Thank you for reading and hopefully it was interesting?? I LOVE living in Tokyo and definitely will not want to leave in August. All I can do is enjoy these moments!

Until next time,

Jason

[katthetaipeicat]

Week 23 (2/4~2/10): Lunar New Year and Love in South Korea

Hey everyone! Be prepared for a long post, as this week was particularly special to me. I’m writing this in the plane on my notes app as I reminisce and try not to cry. Despite having the time of my life abroad, it sometimes hits me hard that I truly miss home and my loved ones. And while I wasn’t back in the States, Korea is still home to me in a different way. So I hope this post is a good read for you, as it means a ton to me. 

My lovely family

Time to introduce my wonderful family!!

So the adults pictured here, from left to right, are my aunt (mom’s older sis), her elder son, his wife, and his younger brother. Younger cousin’s wife took the photo. My cousins are much much older than me, they’re already in their late 30′s/early 40′s and have kids!!

Speaking of the kids, here are the loves of my life!!!!!

My older cousin’s kids: Yerin 예린 (big sister, 9) & Junseo 준서 (little brother, 4)

My younger cousin’s kids: Soyoon 소윤 (eldest sister, 4), Sodam 소담 (middle child, 2), and Yoohyun 유현 (baby brother, 4 months)

As you can imagine, having five children in one house for the holiday is an absolute ruckus (and I apologize in advance for my baby voice):

There are other relatives that I really want to introduce you to: 

My grandpa (mom’s dad) & aunt (mom’s sister-in-law). Gramps is turning 100!!! And he’s so strong and healthy still. 

My grandma (mom’s mom) with her youngest great-grandchild Yoohyun (and my cousin who apparently thinks he’s cute):

Lunar New Year

So the reason I came to Korea in the first place was because Taiwan, Korea, and many other Asian countries celebrate Lunar New Year. I’ve celebrated LNY countless times with my family in the states, but this being my first LNY in Korea, I of course wanted to observe how people in my motherland celebrate this holiday. 

Here’s the offering table: 

Everyone bows to the ancestors in a ceremony called “seh-beh” 세배 (look at Sodam doing a fantastic job in her little blue dress lol):

And here’s Junseo showing off his cute hanbok: 

Excursion to Seoul! Hi Lauren, Peter & 1million!

As much as I love my family, it’s tough being essentially a full-time volunteer babysitter. So when the kids went back to school, I took two days away from Busan to go up to Seoul!

Bless my dear friend Lauren for hosting me for a night and just being an awesome friend/tour guide! She def knows Seoul better than me now; she’s also a postgrad Light Fellow, learning Korean in Seogang University. I missed her so much, and it was so nice to see her again! 

I also got to hang out with Peter, another postgrad Light Fellow. And we all got fried chicken and beer, which is such a beloved combo that Koreans call it chimak 치맥. 

Another thing I got to do besides hanging out with friends was going to 1Million Dance Studio!! I took classes with choreographers Jinwoo Yoon & Hyojin Choi. These two people are my role models and inspirations, so to see them in person and learn their choreography was mindblowing (you can watch my attempts at following their choreo on instagram, dm me haha):

My time in Seoul was short but sweet!

All the little things

In the end, however, what made this trip most memorable was not the LNY ceremony or the adrenaline of 1million. It’s all the little moments spent with my loved ones that made me cherish my time here so much. Little moments such as: 

Going to Gijang 기장 for their famous seafood: 

Rollerskating for the first time: 

Ditching the kids for 4 hours to binge watch Kingdom (which btw is an AMAZING kdrama on netflix, if you like GoT + zombies + korean period dramas then watch it NOW):

Going down the slide together:

And doing something as simple as eating breakfast together:

Farewell & Reflection

Not gonna lie, it was rough saying goodbye. When my nieces and nephew asked when they’d see me again, that was already a really hard question to answer. But when my grandfather complained that I was leaving too soon, when he asked me whether he will get to see my mother again, it took soooo much effort to not sob in front of him. I ended up promising I’ll come back this summer, and I’ll try my hardest to convince my mom to come. So it’s only a temporary farewell. 

Yet, it still stings so much. After dealing with a week of my family teasing me for forgetting basic Korean words and speaking with a weird accent (this is what happens when you speak Mandarin almost exclusively for 5 months), I finally got used to speaking my mother tongue again, except I’m already on my way back to Taiwan. Despite me looking forward to seeing my friends and teachers in Taiwan again, I can’t help but feel like my time back in Korea was all too short. I started crying in the airport when I read this card that Yerin wrote me: 

But, life goes on. And I will be back home. Thank you to my lovely family and friends for hosting me and giving me the most memorable LNY ever.