#back at it again with the fob lyric edits

[emo-milk]

miss missing you // the pros and cons of breathing x

[dancingfaces]

So Much (for) Stardust + a couple of lyrics currently destroying me

[carsonian]

August '23 SteveTony Fics Recap

Ayo, whassup YouTube. It's ya Boy. Cars to the O-N Ian. BACK at it again with the SteveTony fanfiction. You already KNOW what's about to go down. . .

But before that, here's a word from our sponsor ➡️

Word! Now, onto the fanfics, featuring our favourite blond/brunet duo. No, not that one. The OTHER one. Yeah, that one. Let's GOOOOOO ➡️

Your Mans wrote a total of SEX fanfics this month. Your Mans wrote a total of 36942 words. Haha 69.

That is pretty crazie! And telling of your Mans emotional state. Which is to say: get a life. And another hobby. Now BACK to the video.

Fanfics (in chronolgo chronsol ciacal chrongologic edit prev out @ editor chgrasonlogical order):

"I Can See Clearly Now The Blindfold's Gone" | 3,577 Words | M | 1 Aug

"Then, without further ado, I'd like to offer my sincere congratulations to the two of you for winning the all-expenses paid date." "What?" Steve straightens. "Pass." Tony says at the same moment. (A.K.A. Modern, No Powers AU where Steve and Tony go on everyone's favourite internet shitshow, "The Button".) For the prompt fill: blind date au

If I had to rate this fic I would SMASH THAT BUTTON !!!!!

"Just Wanna Feel Your Touch (When It's Cold)" | 1,339 words | M | 16 Aug

Steve's got a press conference to deal with but he's more worried about Tony's cold hands. Stony Bingo 2023 Round 2: "Rescue Me"

If I had to rate this fic I would rate it!

"'Cause It's You and Me (and All of the People)" | 8,945 words | T | 19 Ugh

Steve and Tony discover that they're soulmates in their senior year of high school. As they wrestle with this realisation and try to build out a genuine relationship in the backdrop of high school nonsense and college admissions stress, they're met with a ridiculous number of hurdles in the form of every friend in their circle recruiting them as "fake dates". (A.K.A. the high school soulmates AU where they keep getting pulled into fake dating schemes for other people, told in a chatlog / texting format) Stony Bingo 2023 Round 2: "WTF"

Just a day ago I had to go back and fix some GIFs that had disappeared. So if I had to rate this fic I wouldn't.

"We Just Keep Going" | 1,829 words | M | 23 Aug

A coda to "Here I Am & Here You Are" where Steve and Tony go and visit the Chip 'n Dale duo in New Orleans. (A.K.A. Established relationship, banter-y nonsense.)

The only fic that isn't trying to be a FOB lyric w/ the length of its title. So, this fic, if I had to rate it I would rate as oim just a nocch in yewr bedpowst. . . but yewr juust a loine in a sowng!!!!!!

"Must Admit I'm Out of Bright" | 2,606 words | T | 25 Aug

Steve's got a handful of bullets in his abdomen and Stark's looking at him all funny. Stony Bingo 2023 Round 2: "Pain"

If I had to rate this fic I wouldn't but I would desecRATE it and if I had to desecrate it I would desecrate it w/

Are you still here? Yeah?! 😲😲 Please like, comment and subscribe! 🙏Make sure you hit that post notifications bell so that you can type "first" in the comments! 1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣1️⃣

"The Remarkable People Initiative & The Zugzwang Dilemma" | Chapters 8 & 9 (aka the FINAL CHAPTERS. Yes this fic is DONE! FINALLY!)

Chapter 8: "Pawn to Queen, Promotion Forseen" | 5,594 words | E | 9 Aug

Chapter 9: "Rematch?" | 13,052 words (don't @ me I tried to plan this shit out and it did not WORK. planning is a SHAM. or maybe I am. either way. don't @ me!!!) | E | 31 Aug

Steve Rogers and Tony Stark first met as promising candidates of The Remarkable People Initiative when they were children. Twenty-four years later, Tony shows up at Steve's doorstep. (The Mysterious Benedict Society AU.)

If I had to rate this fic I would uhhh ok come on. Someone else make the bad joke this time. I can't carry this whole goddamn video.

& that's all we have for you today! Tune in next month to hear all about the myriad situations I put our favourite boiz in! There will be many situations and many ships. Perhaps even a situationship 👀 NO SPOILERS! This is, after all, an MCU ship 😜

Finally, due to mounting pressure from *reads smudged ink on hand* budgetary cuts & the economy, here's another word from our sponsor! ➡️

Word!

[grayseyebrowscar]

this is @happilychee 's fault 1000% - saw their random songs they associate with ft characters and decided to share some of mine (i have many playlists for each character as well if anyone wants to snatch them lemme know)

this is just for team natsu if yall want more lemme know

natsu: the phoenix by fob (so many fob songs from srnr and abap are natsucoded tbh) mainly cous of the lyrics in the prechorus being sosososos natsucoded

So we can take the world back from the heart-attacked One maniac at a time, we will take it back You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start So dance alone to the beat of your heart

lucy: ladylike / WHATTABITCH by the regrettes DUUUUUUUDE IF I COULD MAKE ANAMATICS (i am just afraid itll be bad) THIS IS THE SONG TO MAKE FOR ONE FOR LUCY AS A TIKTOK EDIT i dont know how to explain it otherwise

gray: okay but THE CHORUS OF CAMISADO BY P!ATD IS SOSOSOSOOSOSOS GRAY like that dude i love him but man he is sosososososo expresso depresso

Can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid Sit back, relax, sit back, relapse again

erza: just a girl by no doubt like its just the vibes of the lyrics man so erzacore like she has to do so much bc people are idiots

this world is forcing me to hold your hand cause im just a girl

wendy: i like giants by kimya dawson - idk how to explain it but the lyrics just sounds wendycore

[dhampiravidi]

my review of Bring Me The Horizon's POST HUMAN: NeX GEn...

k so, I didn't know it was released til 15 min ago. also just got the Angry Oli Maid Pics. I have a feeling that I know how this first listen is gonna go, but who knows.

[ost] dreamseeker - no rating

If any of this is Eve from the concerts, I'll have to skip the OSTs, because AI scares me (been giving me nightmares for months now). Anyway, this just seems to be a clip of filler/ambient noise. I'll only give ratings to actual songs (longer than 2 min & w/singing).

2. YOUtopia - 5/10

I keep hoping it'll get better as I listen...it just sounds kinda whiny & maybe it was a Jordan Fish thing, but there's no build really. Of course, the name of the song is a pun...IDK. Song sounds a lot more hopeful than I thought it would, since I thought POST HUMAN was all apocalyptic/post-. Giving this a 5.

3. Kool-Aid - 8/10

Pretty sure they already released all the good stuff. I remember hating how "heavy" this sounded initially, but I love this song now. It's an anthem for...something. I guess it's a warning tale for cults, hence why I thought this was an "end-of-the-world" type thing. Solid 8.

4. Top 10 staTues tHat CriEd bloOd - 6/10

IDK why I just thought of FOB's Under the Cork Tree. Probably because I'm getting a pop-punk sound (apart from the fairy techno) that's either UtCT or maybe a lighter That's The Spirit (specifically, "Avalanche"). The sound definitely matches that of "LoST". I keep asking myself if BMTH's songs usually repeat the same parts musically & lyrically...I don't remember. If they do, I didn't notice.

5. liMOusine (ft. AURORA) - 6/10

Optimistic about this one! As long as it picks up...I like the guest singer's voice! It's beautiful on it's own & it complements Oli's pretty well. I'm thinking there should be (based on what BMTH usually does in its collaborations & what I think would go well) a section where he screams while she sings...ah, here we go. I guess I was thinking about what happens in AmEN. Hmm...I suppose they wanted a slower song.

6. DArkSide - 10/10

RAHHHH! I love this song sm. Again, I think all that we heard before today is probably the best parts of PH: NG. This is my favorite BMTH song (the last one Jordan worked on, I think). Pretty sure we've all heard the comparisons to Linkin Park for this one 😊. I love how it ebbs & flows but ultimately is a complete song, one that sounds great onstage, makes me dance, has a message & uses all of Oli's range.

7. a bulleT w/ my namE On (ft. Underoath) - 7.5/10

Immediate mixed feelings here. I love the part where the guitar & drums kick in. It always takes me a second listen to get used to the parts where Oli screams because I don't always expect them. I don't like when they edit his vocals to sound super-techno because then it's almost like implying he can't sing without autotune. OMG I can hear Jordan in the background...then I hear "guess this is goodbye" RIP, man. Have we ever had a song where he clearly sings backing (w/o muffling)? Oh, well. ANYWAY. This song fits the BMTH style, I think. IDK what it's saying at the end--I'm never a fan of editing in stuff that can't be understood unless it's a rhythmic thing.

8. [ost] (spi)ritual - 7.5/10

Best of the OSTs so far. It's a chill lil bop. *looks up the lyrics* oh sHIT. I had to pause it because apparently it's an occult ritual used to clear the room of negative energy prior to doing another ritual & um...I'm no expert in this stuff, so I'm just gonna skip to the next song!

9. n/A - 8/10

OK initially I thought this was a bad joke of a song, given Oli's past addictions & time in a mental hospital. It's actually a good song musically & lyrically. I just feel really awkward listening to it. I think it's referring to how he relapsed during COVID...the music video part of Spotify shows a demented kid's picture...

10. LosT - 9/10

Again, we got the good part. I think we all know the message behind this, which I respect considering how many meds I've gone through trying to improve my own mental health. I have thoughts (positive) about the music video, but this isn't a music video post-! "LoST" has the ebb & flow that I love. "Too much to take, I can't fucking stand it" & "I think I'm gonna break down" are my favorite parts. I can only love screaming when it's done to emphasize clean singing &/or the melody.

11. sTraNgeRs - 8/10

All I'll say is...I prefer this version to the acoustic & my favorite part is "take us back to yesterday" (that whole thing before the last chorus).

12. R.i.p. (duskCOre Remix) - 9/10

This is the first new song that I actually like. I love the "club" songs that BMTH makes, where they sound happy but the lyrics are metal as hell. The "make me the villain if you want" *side-eyes The Darkling* I feel like that man has heard a BMTH song.

13. AmEN (ft. Lil Uzi Vert & Daryl Palumbo) - 10/10

I'm not familiar w/Daryl Palumbo, so I'm not sure what part he sings/screams, but I love this song. It's almost like a dramatic monologue, in the way that I can imagine someone doing all these over-the-top gestures as they sing each part of the song (maybe using puppets). I know I'm mouthing the words every time the song comes on (even though I still don't know the screamed part at the beginning, lol).

14. [ost] p.u.s.s.-e

Very interested to see what the acronym stands for (if it stands for anything)...welp, the Genius annotation says it's about a drug created by the fictional Church of Genxsis to "suppress people who will not obey their will" o-o don't fuck w/cults, kids.

15. DiE4u - 10/10

o-o just releasing how long it's been since this was released. This is bringing up angsty memories...anyway, I love the music video for this (Oli's a Real Vampire Agenda) & I love the pacing of the song. IDK why the "lemme see my halo" part sounds so good.

16. DIg It - 7/10

Fuck, I think this might be Eve talking...*scans some of the lyrics* OK the song's actually alright. Just don't look up the song on Genius unless you want some meta-AI-related stuff. I can tell this isn't supposed to be a banger as much as it is a sad song. It reminds me of Oli's monologue (done while high) on Music to Listen to...("Underground Big", I think?) & it could definitely be used on a soundtrack IMHO. I'd love to hear Oli just sing something chill w/o editing.

Alright, the average of all the ratings is...

5 + 8 + 6 +6 + 10 + 7.5 + 7.5 + 8 + 9 + 8 + 9 + 10 + 10 + 7 = 111

111/14 = 7.9 out of 10

So to me, about half the songs were good. I've felt that way about albums before. I wonder how they finished the album considering that Jordan left in December & yet he's credited on the songs. I don't think this album will be given high ratings, but if it wins an award...I wonder how that'll go down. Anyway, yay for angry maid pics!

[pixelatedquarter]

Okay, so far (dates 1-3 of tourdust) we have:

The set changes to drop a giant doberman head that, contrary to what I theorized in the days leading up to tourdust, does not shoot bubbles from its mouth, but in the same set change translucent balls are dropped (And in at least one occasion have been kicked by Joe ) and the mouth does move to sing along, and then a tree shows up (and it is very relevant that it is real and you can touch it)

'Pyrotechnics & Flames' includes Pete fucking around with a Flamethrower Bass

Piano with no setlist that in Patrick's words was added because Pete thought it would be cool and when confronting him with "I dont really play songs that aren't mine and i don't really have piano songs and i don't really play piano" the only answer was "eh, you'll figure it out". And he did. The motherfucker. Figuring things out on the spot.

Baby Annihilation, the spoken word poetry, which includes a disappearing magic trick by Pete, who then shows up on top of the tree and then is back down doing shenanigans like doing laps around the crowd by the time they play the next FOB song (what, did i forget to mention after the trick to give him time they play a fragment of Crazy Train? whoops my bad.)

The setlist includes songs from all eras, it is currently unknown which ones because they could change at any time. This is being docummented extensively but important mentions for the sake of the fuckitweballery are: Headfirst which used to be booed during Folie days, and Patrick wanted to play again and after getting good reception at Heaven they've added it to the set, Heaven Iowa which is Andy's favourite track in the album, Gin Joints which Joe mentioned wanting to play again in his book was an 8 ball song (ty @omegalomania for pointing it out!) and also a section is dedicated to travelling back and it seems to feature mainly TTTYG. On the note of things changing at any time Take Over was swapped with Hum Hallelujah for Kansas.

Here's the lists for Chicago, St. Louis (no Kansas available yet), it is its own point instead of being just a fun "might as well add this" because the magic 8 ball song is written in code :3. And the first version that leaked is also different, btw.

The Magic 8 Ball is a bit where Pete asks it if they should play a surprise song, so far it can be a song they've never played before or an old song that's out of their set rotation. So far it's been GINASFS ("a song we've never played before", codename GOLF) Gin Joints ("an old song about crashed cars", codename GAMMA JULIET) and Sophomore Slump ("Let me see that sign...let me tell you right now the magic 8 ball cannot be hypnotized or fucking intimidated"/"is this our sophomore slump?", codename unknown, what IS known is that joe didn't know how to play it)

Patrick sings the Arms Race call and response with that aforementioned giant Doberman head, which as mentioned before moves its mouth in time with the lyrics, good dog. (as pointed out by @mageshine-dance)

Pete also likes to interact with the doggie. In his Pete way.

They stroll around with maybe maybe not stage passes (and because they're very Some Guy passing and playing large venues here's the mugshots poster for venue employees) pete showed up to take a picture with the queue.

Meanwhile Joe is using this strolling time to hide copies of his book for a scavenger hunt.

(Patrick and Andy are being more normal about this freedom and have been spotted listening to the openers, not really fuckitweballing material smh but just in case you're wondering if we know anything about what they've been up to)

(Did you know there's a character limit for how long you can make a single block of text (like a bulleted list) before tumblr breaks it up? Because tumblr forgets and reformats it into a single block every time you edit and then doesn't let you save until you've changed it back. Hopefully this fixes it, but this IS the website of all time.)

Ah yes how could we forget, clothing-wise Andy maintains his iconic look, moobs on full display, black shorts (Also probably referenced the MTG buttcrack guy meme). Joe has been keeping it real with a grey t-shirt and jeans. Pete is donning a blue poncho/hoodie/The-Mesh&Rose-Harness for a triple layered striptease and leather pants. Patrick's been consistent with this era with a t-shirt, jacket, baseball cap and a variety of jeans-

lol who's kidding, this is the Fuck It We Ball compilation there's a reason we're listing outfits like we're in My Immortal: the t-shirt depicts a crying sun & smiling moon and matches Pete's hoodie and for Kansas he decided to do away with the t-shirt and cap and instead wear a black shirt and fedora combo.

Also because last section's links served the not-so-hidden purpose of highlighting how insanely soulmates they have been, it would be a grave omission to not add this moment to the list.

And more posing happened with the Kansas crowd picture.

Credit list is massive so it's here instead

Here's links to part 2 and 3

Someone needs to start compiling all the ways this is THE tour of Fuck It We Ball before we forget things like Joe literally has a scavenger hunt for his book going on and Pete managed to convince Patrick to spontaneous piano with a "eh you'll figure it out" (thus causing night 3 to be "Patrick deadass figures he may as well play a piano cover of I'm Like A Lawyer") and Pete's magic trick apparentyl coming with variants (or at least that he went for a crowd lap) because it's the details that elevate this tour from "there's extra surprise songs with the 8 ball gimmick and a piano intermission" to "Fuck. It. WE. BALL."

[anarchistbitch]

well it's not like according to tradition I replied in a timely manner lmao dont worry about it

sfjkfjsdk me too, i dont usually make playlists, i just leave everything in my liked and shuffle it and let it be what the universe dictates but idk i felt like getting them into one playlist

well if you add pepa pig id burst out laughing in the middle of a call probably and one of my work friends would probably shout "send her to sleep" bc thats what we say when we send clients back bc we cant do anything from our end so it would be funny and we would just ultimately skip it lmao

im looking forward to whatever songs you add, the playlist is long as fuck already tbh so it might take a while for the oli london song to come on

SFGDSJKFGDS well in my defense I had to ask bc i didnt know how long youve been on tumblr so yeah (shiro's cloning and the episode about it and the fight with keith)

anyways i motherfucking hated that they exploded adam and then tried to console us with curtis but anywaaaaaaay the fanfic is dirty laundry which if you were in the fandom i doubt you didnt end up hearing of it or at least the discourse around it but anyway it got deleted but i had it downloaded so have a google drive link https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BwU9LMiUJoN7RjFWSGZVUlJQd1U/view?

yeah, the whole not enrolling classes in uni is a mess and i try not to think about it too much rn (i am seeing a therapist and i hope that by next year i have figured out what i want to do) but i like my job, we(my team)'re actually planning to rent a house and stay there a weekend very soon to celebrate our supervisor's bday :'3

making choices that will greatly impact our futures is seriously so hard, and i also not qualified for any career advice but manifesting that whatever you choose in the end allows you to be happy

just last night it started raining hard so i got up to turn off the fan but then like two minutes later i got up to turn it on again bc even tho it was raining it is still so fucking hot, seriously hate the weather rn

god mountains are so preetty, specially when the weather is cool and they get all foggy

atsv is a masterpiece and it continues from itsv so damn well, i really do love it and i hope hollywood gets up it's ass and pays their workers what they're owed so we can see it soon

KJSDFJKSDFHJS i am still seeing so many miguel o hara edits everywhere for real, i gotta say tho im in love with hobie and pavitr

JKSHFJS i used to do something similar with fob, i had a lot of them printed out and would put them on my binder cover so that i could memorize the lyrics so i was all day everyday singing them until i memorized it and the changed it for another song

idk how id rank fob albums, its so hard when theyre soo good but i really do love so much for stardust, aside from that one i think my favs are save rock and roll and american beauty american pyscho, mania was the first album i was a fan of them when it came out so it has a special place in my heart as well

my special lyric is part time soulmates full time problem, ive always been a fan of soulmate aus and hhhhhhhh just makes my brain smooth, also we started off as shiny dimes but we got flipped too many times, we did it for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never going to change 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

cheers to us and our interesting meeting jdfshjf

love you and i hope you have a good week :3 get plenty of rest and fun and water!!

-M

i feel like if we had a competition on late replies i would emerge victorious😎(crying inside)

honestly fall is prolly the best time to make playlists[not that im gonna, but sure is a nice time yk] but ahhhh anyway!!!! havent added anything but u will know when i add it <3

check hello tumblr user nonbinarymikaela pls provide access to the drive check [i checked out of any fandom drama cause i had so many exams that yr lmao. only time the edu system saved me]

[this is me actually hi]

honestly idek if i like my degree rn, like i really wanted to go for a history degree a couple years back before i changed my stream[its a whole educational system thats actually fucking fucked in india i hope it dies soon💜] but on the flip side - it was pretty hard to get a spot in my uni anyway so now im just in a whirlpool of smth. bleh

thinking of how next year is so close is like skewering me and roasting me like a kebab😭😭😭😭[but like dont keep a strict timeline yk, ur like seriously cool and i think any decision you take will be the best as along as your the one taking it ] [i wish i had answered this earlier so i couldve wish you good time on ur retreat but i hope it was good anyway💜💜💜💜💜💜💜]

man i need to like seriously cope up with my decisions cause i need to take an exam for my career which is seriously sooo..... but yea thats how its going

omg its raining here too and my college[which is seriously just a reformated jungle] turned into a swamp ish and they STILL didnt cancel classes. and i forgot my umbrella. i came back home like a sad wet cat .

gotta love that near-to-the-equator ass weather with climate change [i need to kill billionaires rn]

hope the strikes come to a fruitful end soon[for saf-aftra & iatse !!! fuck the amptp!!] but also i wouldnt mind waiting a couple years for btsv if the animators need that time to like animate in a safe and healthy manner yk

OH wait also im on my halloween movies watch rn!! just finished the addams family and watching paranorman rn [i need a gomez man btw. need him to be silly and obsessed and intense.and mwah]

[also if u wanna watch an indian series made in heaven is pretty cool(its okay-ish in terms of writing but it covers some very important social issues + the main leads are hot and dubious. what more do i need to watch a show)]

hobie kinda scratched a very specific itch in my brain like i want to be him AND kiss him , pavitr is so slay, and o'hara needs like a massage session thing where they unlock the trauma in ur knees or like a stamlo 50mg.

me & my friends fav fob lyrics was the 'how the mighty fall' cause we would do that "fall out...boi" intro everytime lol

i dont think i have a fave lyric but i think immortals was a top contender for reasons[i like big hero 6 :3]

Song rec: nothings new by rio romeo (saw it in a reels animatic and .. yea)

to many more yrs of late asks 🥂(appy juice cause i dont like the taste of alcohol)

my love and hopes to u💜💜💜 and also an umbrella for this weather☔

p.s. drink water/soup/iced tea + i care for u+ W in the chats

[thebreakfastgenie]

I don’t know if you took my previous message as “hate” or what but I’m kind of baffled by the fact that you accused me of being “weirder” about the song?? You were posting about the song saying you haven’t listened to it but want to know a couple of clarifying points, and I assumed from that that you hadn’t heard the song so wouldn’t know that it was structured differently from the original song so I thought I would point that out as I think the fact that it’s structured differently addresses a lot of your criticisms about the song (while also introducing new ones).

The fact that you then accused me of trying to “start discourse” is really… look; I took your posting about the song and asking questions about it to be inviting discussion; but instead it kind of feels like you’re insulting me?

But to answer some more of your questions; in a way; yes, there is a FOB equivalent to that. The COVID-19 pandemic doesn’t get a mention at all in their lyrics, but like Joel, they do have a whole song devoted to the rather culturally and historically important event that they missed.

And no, they do not use the line “England’s got a new King”. They do reference the death of the Queen but not with a direct callback to Joel’s lyrics. I think the only direct callback is “Shinzo Abe, blown away”.

Okay anon I apologize, the discourse comment was lighthearted because I just think this this whole thing is kinda funny. You didn't suicide bait me or call me a c*nt so no, I would not call your ask hate!!

I wasn't exactly inviting a discussion on purpose, but I'm definitely not opposed to having one!! I'm just used to being unhinged about this song by myself.

It also didn't occur to me that you would have seen my posts, but not the replies from my mutuals who already answered my lyrics questions and told me it was non-chronological. That was my bad, forgot replies aren't shown unless you look. I was pleased they didn't go for too many obvious lyrical callbacks, especially the King one, but I was really disappointed by the Shinzo Abe lyric (I get that it's tempting but if you want the song to stand on its own it's better not to do it) and "prince and the queen die" just sounds bad to me. It doesn't scan that well, it gives the vibe of the weakest line in a parody. You have to stretch out one of those monosyllabic words and it just sings badly. I get why this happened, though; it probably comes back to having to use the existing melody. But that's why I kinda think this was a bad idea in the first place!

I don't think you understood what I was wondering about an equivalent for, though. I mentioned Billy Joel leaving things out to address the oft-raised claim of "you couldn't even fit these years in a We Didn't Start the Fire, 2020 would need its own verse!" which is not something I've seen Fall Out Boy specifically say, but is relevant to why I like the forty years unit. I was looking for an equivalent of Billy Joel unintentionally documenting the Cold War, to the point where it's often referred to as a song about the Cold War by people who think he did it on purpose. Does 1989-2023 coincide so closely to a particular period like that? It doesn't have to be exact; the Cold War wasn't exactly 1949-1989, but it was a guy born toward the beginning of the Cold War writing a song toward the end of it. Depending on how things end up in Ukraine, I actually could see 2023 ultimately being close to the end of some kind of era, ironically again involving Russia, but it doesn't feel like an era that started in the late eighties. We may not have the answer to this right away!

Edit to add I thought you were being weirder because I took your first ask as thinking I was mad at Fall Out Boy and being upset about it but with the context of this ask I no longer think that!

[thedelegationofkeren]

(lyrics by: thomas hull and harry styles; william diserafino, noah burke, edward o brien, william shea, caleb laven, and sean posila; nate mercereau, scott friedman, shawn mendes, and teddy geiger; andrew hurley, jake sinclair, joseph trohman, patrick stump, pete wentz, and ryan lott)

[bonetools]

wtf happened to making amvs/edits to fall out boy songs. huh? have we forgotten our roots?

[half-doomed]

Fall Out Boy Creations Challenge  |  s0fthearts ↳ Theme: Favorite Song

B o y c o t t   l o v e Detox just to retox

[seasideselfships]

Howdy Maverick! I read your Carrd and it seems we've got a lot of things in common like a love for space (and maybe the ocean??? I love your url name and also your names!!) and a couple of f/os who share the same media, so please know I'd be so thrilled to have you in my Ask box and talk about them if you'd like!

Some I noticed were your T//V//D f/os and Avengers f/os-- it makes me so happy to know you also do domestic ave.ngers please I'd love our s/is to be friends (maybe Max is able to learn some things from Xiomara and also vice versa? Whiplash went to Xavier's since she's a mutant--- did Syntax? Maybe they met there and could be assigned together? Idk but it's all fun to me!) for both media tell me all about yours anytime ;----;

Anyway, I wanted to also send these asks for different f/os and invite you to gush or talk about any of them in my Ask box too! (Also i love the different FOB lyrics i found looking through your Carrd, they're my favorite band!!!)

👍The Good Part👍 ~ What moment made you realize that you had to be with your F/O? For the Lo.st Bo.ys! (Love that your s/i is from key west btw I LOVE key west it's the only good place in Florida besides the space Center/LH)

🌃Chelsea Streets🌃 ~ If you could go anywhere, where would you and your F/O wanna vacation at? How would it go? With the Johnathan & the rest of the Byers fam + Hopper? Like a big family trip?

🎶Overture🎶 ~ Tell us a few of your favorite/most important memories involving your F/O! With Stefan?

Moxie @tex-treasures

Again, my ask box is always open so please feel free to stop on by anytime!✨💜

Howdy Moxie!! You guess correctly, I do have an odd fascination with the ocean, hence the 'seasideselfships' user!! Great observation!  Domestic av.engers is 10/10 my comfort ship, to go back to when I need Soft Vibes. It's so fun to be a big ol found family!! As far as s/is, I would love for them to be friends, please-

Max and Xiomara would be such fun friends! I read a little of your s/i write-up, and I feel they'd get along swimmingly! They'd definitely have a bit to learn from each other, and I think they'd have fun teaching each other, maybe over tea!  And as far as Syntax, I play fast and loose with her story, so it wouldn't be much to move her to Xavier's!! She's been my ma.rvel and all related stuff s/i for ages and I kind of edit her backstory to fit her where I fit her. Would be very fitting though to add Xavier's to her timeline since I went back + rewatched the first couple movies + got Major Sibling Vibes from Charles - And yes FOB!!! There's mainly fob, a few p! ones and one or two mcr ones, bc I haven't grown out of my emo phase and I still love all that music, but I vibe super heavy with FOB so they got the honor of being most of my tags-

Now that I have successfully rambled a mile of stuff, on to answer questions! 👍The Good Part👍 ~ What moment made you realize that you had to be with your F/O?  For the Lo.st Bo.ys!  - I think the defining moment would be one night on the boardwalk, the boys stood up for Marina. As someone who had to hide what she was from her friends on shore in Key West, she was always afraid that revealing who she was would scare people away. And even knowing the boys weren't human, she was still wary. You never know how people will react. But one night she was alone before they got to the boardwalk, and they found her getting harassed by some ner-do-wells and scared them off. That was proof to Marina that they cared. 

🌃Chelsea Streets🌃 ~ If you could go anywhere, where would you and your F/O wanna vacation at? How would it go? With the Johnathan & the rest of the Byers fam + Hopper? Like a big family trip? Byers Hopper clan road trip? Oh boy. We'd probably embark on a massive camping trip, I wanna say north Michigan. Considering I'm familiar, it'd be super fun. Platte River Campground. I've got no clue if it was around in the 80s, but that's a great place for the fam to camp + see all the sights north Michigan has to offer, like porcupine mountain, the lake in the sky, and of course the bridge. 

🎶Overture🎶 ~ Tell us a few of your favorite/most important memories involving your F/O! With Stefan? OH boy... Even if it had alterior motives, the Mi.kaelson Ball! It was so fun. Getting dressed up, fancy party style. Dancing with Stefan, swoon.  A funnier memory is Stefan giving her the "I'm a vampire" speech and Max laughing and telling him she had a feeling, which leads to a conversation about her abilities. 

@tex-treasures thanks for the ask!!!!

[getitinbusan]

The Music Room -

Min Yoongi 18+ Smut

Part of the Lost Boys Series

JIN • NAMJOON • YOONGI •

Warnings: 18+ smut, MF sex, MF oral, A playful bite, Swearing.

Words: 3075

Summary: A stand alone series about a misfit friend group of seven boys. These stories are a day in the life snip it of who they are, where they came from and how they love.

The melody drifting up the barren hall floated through the air like it was made for your ears alone.

The poetic rhythm of the keys made you pause, listening enviously at the talent of whomever was playing.

But who was playing? It was 8 am on a Friday, the room should be vacant. Pulling up the music rooms schedule on your phone, you weren't wrong. The first spot of the day was yours for the entire semester. 

You knocked lightly. The sound stopped and the bench made it's familiar dragging noise across the concrete floor. 

Pulling the heavy windowless wood open by it's cold handle you peeked inside. He scrambled, seemingly embarrassed, shoving his sheet music into his backpack. 

"You should be more careful with your notes, don't want to ruin any masterpieces." 

"No fear in that," he mumbled.  "They're just a bunch of scribbled ideas."

 Pulling the zipper shut he slung it over his shoulder.  "Sorry, I didn't know this was your time slot." 

"It's fine." you tried to smile at him but he kept his eyes down.

"Don't you have the schools app? I can check to see when you're supposed to be here." You tapped the widget,  "What's your name?"

"It's fine, I'm actually not on the schedule." 

"Oh, why not? You sounded great. If you missed the cutoff you can still be added to a wait list. People drop out all the time." 

He looked up and grinned. By God if he wasn't the most beautiful boy you'd ever seen.

"I don't belong here." 

"Don't say that. I was listening and you're really talented, you deserve to be here just as much as any of us." 

"I don't though." His eyes met yours and you were done for. "I don't go here, I'm not a student." 

"Ahh, I guess that's a problem." 

"I already said I'm sorry," he got defensive. "I'll just get out of your way."

He started towards the door.

You tugged his backpack. "So is breaking into schools and playing piano a weird hobby of yours?"

You tried to lighten the mood, "you've got a little Phantom of the Opera University edition kink?" 

He laughed. "I'm not technically breaking in, I do have a key fob." He held up the school ID. "It's my roommates. And if you want to know about my kinks you're gonna have to get to know me a little better." 

You stepped closer and took it from his hand.

"Park Jimin, Performing Arts." Handing it back you eyed him up and down. "So what's your story….."

"My name's Yoongi."

Pulling a chair out from the corner you sat and rummaged through your backpack until you pulled out your breakfast. 

"Listen Yoongi, I was just going to sit here. I need logged practice time for course credit." 

You peeled your clementine, "So if you want to stay and play, be my guest."

He looked at you unsure, "Why would you do that for me?" 

You smiled and shrugged. "I like your face." 

Turning red he plopped his knapsack back onto the floor and reclaimed the bench. 

You waited until his fingers were just about to land on the keys. "I do have one condition though." 

He froze, "Yeah, what's that?" 

"You have to take me for coffee later and tell me your story. Agree?" 

"I Agree. But you didn't have to give up your time for that, I was going to ask you out anyway." 

You probably wouldn't have given up your time but you were intrigued. Park Jimin was an amazing dancer. The curious boy who was here on scholarship was often the subject of conversation in the dining hall. Not only was he good looking but he was a mystery. He hung out with the strangest group of friends, seven misfit boys who were proud to not fit in. In this small University town they stood out as odd, everyone referred to them as The Lost Boys. Yoongi, now being revealed to you as one of them, seemed harmless enough and the opportunity to get to know a piece of them was too good to pass. 

Walking and talking up the worn concrete path you made your way through the bustle of pajama clad students trying to get to class. 

"Don't you have to be somewhere?" 

"Yeah, but I don't care. I'd rather get to know you." 

"You should go, I'm not so important that you should lose a day of school over me." 

"It's all bullshit anyway Yoongi, it's not going to get me anywhere." 

He stopped abruptly, now just outside the small coffee shop. "You sound like a spoiled brat." 

You were shocked, who the hell was he to speak to you like that? 

"I'd kill to be in your position and you don't even give a shit about just squandering it away." 

He pulled the door open and looked at you crossly. "Still want that coffee?" 

You stepped in front of him and shot him a dirty look. "I do. You owe me AND because I'm a brat I'm going to order the fanciest thing on the menu. TO GO!" 

He silently walked behind you, following to the counter while you placed your ostentatious order. You stood studying him while he asked for an iced Americano. His blond shaggy hair skimmed his chocolate eyes and his sexy lips seemed to  always sit in permanent pout. They looked like they'd be nice to kiss. 

"You want to stop staring at me and take your expensive drink. You're holding up the line." 

You blushed, knocked from your daydream admiration by his deep voice.

You huffed while pulling the chair out, making a show of your annoyance, situating yourself at the corner table.

"I thought you were getting it to go?" he barbed. 

"Why would I do that when I can be a pain in your ass a little bit longer? You promised to tell me your story, let's hear it?" 

His inhale was deep. Anxiety? Apprehension? A mix of both? His eyes stared at his coffee while his fingers fiddled with the straw. "I want to be a musician." 

"Well I figured that much." 

"Listen, if you really want to know can you just shut up? This isn't an easy thing for me to talk about, I don't just tell everyone." 

"If you don't want to tell me don't" 

He cut you off. "But I do want to, for some stupid reason."

"What reason?" 

He exhaled with a smirk. "I like your face." 

You smiled, "Then please continue." 

"I want to be a musician. I write music and lyrics and it's all I've ever wanted my entire life."

He took a sip of coffee. "My parents didn't approve of my choices so I decided to move out on my own and live my life how I wanted." 

You nodded in understanding. 

"I didn't take into consideration how hard exactly that would be, but I'm a proud man, and there's no going back." 

"So what do you do? You're not a student, do you work?"

"Yeah, I deliver food and groceries part time. It doesn't pay much but the basics are covered." 

You looked down at your shitty expensive coffee in guilt, maybe you were just a spoiled brat.

"So whenever I'm not working I try to get as much practice and writing in as I can. I use Jimin's fob to get into the music room and that's where I am most nights...all night." he shrugged in omission. 

"So no time for a girlfriend?" you felt silly the moment it left your lips. 

"I didn't think so." He looked up for the first time since the conversation started. "But," he smiled, "I think given the right person priorities could definitely be changed." 

Talking into the afternoon time flew away. Several less expensive coffees later he looked at his phone and frowned. "I've got to go to work." 

He stood up and gathered his things. "But I'd love it if we could see each other again." 

You stood to go too. "Next Friday 8am? I can let you in with my fob?" 

"That sounds really nice." His hand reached out and his fingers brushed across yours as he took the tray from you. "But I was hoping I wouldn't have to wait that long. We're having a party tonight at our place...will you come?" 

You sat on the edge of the sofa watching the group around you getting drunk and philosophical. Definitely nothing like a frat party, these guys were a different breed.

His roommates were all handsome in their own way and something about them just set you at ease. No pretensions, no apologies, they were just who they were having fun.

Finally seeing him walk through the door your heart raced when his eye caught yours.

"I'm sorry I'm late, they kept getting orders." 

"It's okay. Your roommate..." you pointed to Seokjin. "The one with the really broad shoulders, he kept me entertained with some pretty good jokes." 

He scrunched his nose, "really, really sorry." 

You pulled a bottle vodka out of your purse and raised your brows. "Are you ready for some fun." 

He grabbed your hand and pulled you up from the couch until you were close enough to hear without having to shout.

"I'd like to grab a shower. Do you want to wait in my room for me? I mean...if you're uncomfortable down here by yourself." 

It was a no brainer, the sexual tension and chemistry you'd had all day was like a current of electricity running between you.

"Lead the way." 

You looked around his room while he was showering. Sure the mattress was on the floor but the bed was made and his clothes were hung neatly in the closet. His dresser was stacked with notebooks that were overflowing with lyrics. Pieces of paper with doodles and random words loosely spilling from between the pages. 

Pictures, they must be family, small resemblances in their smiles and it looked like he had a brother. 

He had a shelf full of colognes. Picking up the Paco Rabanne he walked in as you were pulling the cap off to sniff it. 

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to be nosey, I just wanted to know what you smelled like." Idiot, of all the creepy things to say. 

He smiled, "It's alright, I'm not hiding anything." 

"No," your cheeks flushed when it finally registered that he was half naked in front of you. "I guess you really aren't." 

"Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just forgot to grab my clean clothes before I went in." He opened a drawer to pull out a shirt. 

"It doesn't," you blurted embarrassed. 

He pulled his hand away from the clothing and raised his brows quizzically, "So you don't want me to get dressed?" 

You walked towards him, he was gorgeous. Water droplets still clung to his muscular chest like he couldn't afford the time away from you to fully dry himself. 

"I think," you stammered, "That I'd actually prefer if you didn't."

You placed your hand on his bicep and waited for his response. 

It didn't come from words, it came from two soft warm lips attaching themselves to yours. 

"You're a good good kisser Min Yoongi. Is your mouth that good at everything?" 

"You mean like singing?" He teased your lips with his while he popped the button on your jeans. 

"No," you giggled. 

"Then you must mean biting?" His teeth lightly bit the flesh of your thigh as he kneeled to lower your pants and underwear. 

"Nope, that's not what I meant either." 

"Oh, I know, you must mean eating?" His warm tongue found your clit and gave it a little flick. "I think I'm pretty good at it." 

You ran your fingers through his hair while he looked up at you hungry. 

"Prove it," you moaned." 

Stepping out of your pants you leaned back against his dresser. Ass resting on the edge he opened your thighs, a low mumble of, "fuck" drifting out of his mouth before he dove in. 

His large hands held you open while his silky tongue explored every crevice of your sex sending your senses into a frenzy. Coming up for air every so often he'd moan at the loss of your taste before inhaling and going back in for more. He wasn't methodical, his mouth was unpredictable. One minute his tongue would be deep inside you and the next he'd have his lips around your clit sucking softly. 

"Come over here with me."

He led you to the bed, taking off your shirt before guiding you down. Your eyes ran over his body stopping at the bulge under the tightly wrapped terry cloth towel. The wetness in between your legs grew just thinking about getting to see it. 

He laid down beside you, holding your face and kissing you while you reached to undo his shroud.  

Smiling, he pulled your hand away, "I'm not done with you yet. Tell me what you want me to do to you." 

You had to rub your legs together for friction, he was driving you wild. "This morning, when I watched you playing?" 

He smiled like he knew.

"All I could think of was how sexy your..." He stopped your words by hooking two fingers  into your mouth and rubbing them against your tongue. 

"You were thinking about how good these would feel inside you?" He kissed your neck, "You really know what you want huh?" 

"Some people even say I'm spoiled."

"Do you always get your way?"

He plunged them inside of you changing your words of, "I hope so," into a long drawn out moan.  

Kissing his way down your neck and over your collar bones his mouth lingered on your breasts. Skimming his lips across your nipples he watched as they hardened into excited little buds. A small smile graced his face, he was clearly proud of how he was making your body react. 

His long piano fingers played skillfully inside of you while he latched onto your nipple and suckled. Your heart beat loudly like it was part of the parties soundtrack, the music  reverberating through the floor as he fingered you. The whole unfolding scene felt like a dream. Dizzy and intoxicated from lust and heavy breathing you didn't want to wake up to a reality other than this one.

A thud outside the door snapped you back, your thighs clamping shut on his hand as you pulled the covers up to hide yourself. 

"It's locked, nobody can get in, don't worry." He pulled the sheet back off of you to continue his work. 

"Are you sure they can't get in?"

A loud moan rang through the hall and the thuds against the wall gave away the truth. 

"I'm sure they have their own agenda." 

You flopped back trying to regain the moment while his fingers  stroked your walls. 

It was distracting at first, people fucking right outside his door. But a few minutes of listening to their pleasure, of hearing their moans and the pleas of harder, you were more turned on than ever. 

He watched you unravelling at the  pornographic sounds. "You wanna cum when they do?" 

"Please..please," you begged in time with the drag of his fingers. 

The sounds escalating on both sides of the wall seemed to add fuel to the fires of both immanent orgasms. Just as the stranger in the hall screamed her end, Yoongi pumped and sucked harder until you finished longer and louder than your unknown counterpart. He laughed as he pulled his fingers out of you, the strings of excitement cleaned off with a lurid suck of his own digits. 

Your head was still reeling when he pulled his towel off. His thick beautiful cock looked so hard and ripe as he reached in his drawer for a condom. 

"Can I put it on you?" You took it from his hand and ripped the package open. Holding it between your fingertips you got closer and ran your tongue around the head of his cock. The taste of pre cum on his freshly washed dick made you ready for more.

Giving him a few deep sucks and pumps you needed him now. He watched while you rolled the thin latex tightly over his twitching thickness and straddled him, wasting no time to begin bouncing on his cock. 

Your kisses were messy, hands entwined in his hair, your breasts grazing against his skin with every thrust while you rode him. "Fuck, you feel so good." 

His hands gripped your ass squeezing as he moaned underneath you. Orgasm building like a hurricane, the eye of the perfect storm became more imminent with every slide of your pleasure point against his soaked pubic trail.

"Make me cum Yoongi." 

He flipped you swiftly onto your back and his hips picked up the pace to the finish line. Thrusting in between your open thighs his cock drove you to convulsively cum, your cunt squeezing his own warm liquid into the condom between you. 

He lay with his arms around you in silence. Your head on his chest listening to his heart slowly make it's way back to a normal pace.

"I can't promise you anything more than who I am. I don't have anything to offer you but dreams that may or may not come true."

He stroked your hair as he spoke his truth. "I'm working hard, but I can't guarantee that I'll ever amount to anything more than a delivery boy." 

You sat up on your elbow and stared at the man you'd just fallen in love with. "I want to share all of my time with you Yoongi. In fact, I insist you take it. I've heard you play and I believe in you."

You waited until your lips were just about to land on his. "I do have one condition though." 

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, "Yeah, what's that?" 

"You've got to promise you'll write me a song. Agree?" 

His fingers splayed caressing your back, he couldn't help the huge smile that took over his face when he kissed you. 

"I agree. But you didn't have to give up your time for that, I was going to do it anyway."

[smileandasong]

futct 👀 and foliea deux if you want!

tOH HELL YEAH FUCT! (sorry, i’ll always call it fuct because that’s what pete wanted in 05, and what i like to think he still wants today) 1. Sophomore Slump (tied for my fave FOB song of all time) 2. XO (a few weeks ago i played this eight times in a row at six in the morning. eight. TIMES! idk wtf i was feeling, but i needed pete and his lyrics to do it for me) 3. A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More Touch Me (honestly, this is partially because of how much I fucking LOVE the mv, ngl) 4. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) (this ranks so high because of the last 25 seconds because C H R I S T pete!!!) 5. I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me (if it wasn’t apparent, i pretty much LOSE IT from candles onward. these fucking TRANSITIONS!!!) 6. I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)" 7. Dance, Dance 8. Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued 9. Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner 10. 7 Minutes in Heaven 11. Of All the Gin Joints in All the World 12. Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down (I FEEL BAD because this is the first FOB song I ever heard! I still love it, and really, that’s just a testament to how GOOD the rest of this album is) 13. Champagne for my Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends (i find it kind of funny that this is my least favorite when it’s literally sandwiched right in the middle of my top 5. AGAIN, still love it) (...i’m not including the bonus tracks because someone asked me that on discord earlier and my brain nearly exploded when i tried to figure out where they’d fall. ONE DAY i will go back and edit with them in mind, i promise!!!) AND YEAH WHY NOT, let’s get a little folie in here too:

1. Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet (third favorite overall and honestly, if it’s not one of your faves off both folie and overall??? idk what’s wrong with you) 2. What a Catch, Donnie (i can’t listen to the guest segment without sobbing every damn time) 3. 20 Dollar Nose Bleed (seeing this LIVE!?!? what a fucking experience!) 4. 27 5. Coffee’s for Closers 6. Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes 7. The (Shipped) Gold Standard 8. West Coast Smoker 7. America’s Suitehearts 10. I Don’t Care (bonus points for the fucking batshit music video) 11. Tiffany Blews 12. She’s My Winona 13. w.a.m.s.

//send me an album and I’ll rank the songs from my favorite to my least favorite :)

[mzminola]

Mom talk: emotional boundaries and hoarding/impulse-shopping discussed below the cut.

I honestly can’t fucking remember if I saw my mom in person twice this year or three times. I think it was three times. I’m like pretty sure the awkward conversation with lots of crying outside that one coffee shop wasn’t the summer visit, which would mean there was a spring one. So I guess I can remember? Unless it was the same visit.

It feels like every time we see each other in person we wind up having some Way Too Deep conversation along with all our more fun fandom and politics chatter. On the phone we seem to mostly stick to...not necessarily lighter topics, but they’re not so personal? It’s not like I’ve been logging this, I don’t know. I know it’s not just her bringing stuff up, I definitely have a habit (that she cultivated) of over-sharing and it’s way harder to guard my tongue in person than on the phone. Especially since the getting brunch/coffee & taking a walk around the meeting point conversations tend to go way longer than the phone calls. I don’t plan on cutting the visits off entirely so I need to...strategize how to strengthen my filter, and come up with some script for conversational boundaries.

The visits also grind her hoarding tendencies in my face more since the walks inevitably take us into the local shops. Maybe it would work better if I could convince her to take our coffees back down to the waterfront? Experience says we’ll still wind up in at least one shop, though.

This time I got the impulse to go into a bookshop, found some authors I’d been keeping an eye out for, and bought two books. It was my first time purchasing something there in years (I think I bought a calendar several years ago?), and I live closer now, so I went ahead and signed up for their little buyer rewards program. I think it’s that my purchases will be tallied over time and eventually I’ll get store credit?

Mom promptly ask the clerk if multiple people can have their purchases go towards one person’s rewards. So that when she visits the area, if she buys something, I’d get the points! The clerk said yes, and I half-joked about Mom living elsewhere and therefore not getting her own rewards record.

She didn’t ask me if I was comfortable with that, before asking the clerk. I can’t remember if she checked with me about it during the banter after. I’m...okay with the idea of her book purchases over here during visits going to my tally, but I really would have preferred if she’d asked me first. We’ve got way too much uncomfortable history about combined finances for springing this on me to be cool.

I don’t think she realizes how uncomfortable I am with that history.

Later we went into an art supply shop, she had a specific supply she needed (so much art and crafting in this family). I noticed this cute itsy-bitsy color pencils set at the check-out counter and made the mistake of exclaiming “oh, cute!” out loud. Mom promptly decided to buy it, and then the clerk (did their job, can’t begrudge ‘em) told her a slightly different version with an itsy-bitsy sharpener or something would be coming in later. Like the next week?

But, you know. Mom’s visiting from out of town. She won’t likely be back next week.

Mom half-turns to me and cheerfully says “you’ll just have to come back and pick one up for me!”

I, thank fucking goodness, immediately and automatically went “nope” in a...possibly cheerful, at least not negative, voice. She stalled a bit, and then suggested we do another visit next month (so she could get it without doing the trip just for that), and I reminded her that I don’t get any time off in December this year. She acknowledged this was true, and the subject was dropped. To be fair, she really does want to see me more frequently.

I’ve been handling the “Mom’s gonna wanna go in the shops” aspect of our visits okay, back when they were once or twice a year. I just remind myself that I’m allowed to enjoy window shopping the way I enjoy looking at strangers’ gardens, and that she’s a grown ass adult and therefore it’s not my job to discourage her from making impulse purchases (as opposed to when I was stuck living back home and got guilt tripped about adding to household expenses and- /record scratch/)

But this time she did the “treating me like an extension of her” thing.

I don’t like that.

I don’t want her to do that.

And I don’t fucking know what the normal lines between loved ones are supposed to be, so I don’t know where, when, and how to draw them.

I think I did okay this time. I think the rewards program thing would have just been a “wow, Mom didn’t ask me first, that’s annoying but I can cope” moment if it hadn’t been followed by her trying to directly make me responsible for her getting a cute little art thing she wanted to buy. I always assume there’s a “more graceful” way of handling things like that than I actually achieve, but do I need to be graceful? Is it not sufficient to simply be firm? I’m still not good at firm with her. I mostly rely on avoidance.

Which. Like. This makes me want to avoid her! This whole heavy conversation topic thing makes me want to visit less, the whole shopping thing reminds me of the hoarded environment I grew up in, the treating me as an extension of her thing REALLY fucking makes me want to avoid her!

I know “Mom, when you do X, it makes me want to not be around you” is a straightforward script I could potentially use, but it feels too blunt! It feels too much like I’m threatening to cut her off! I think if I say that she will react with lots of upset emotions, and even if she (has more grace then me) makes sure to have those emotions where I don’t witness them personally, I have been fucking conditioned to fret about those emotions and try to fix them for her.

Anyway this Fall Out Boy album I’m listening to just hit the lyrics “I love the whole world I just don’t love the way it makes me feel” as I was about to write “I love my mom but I don’t want to be around her for awhile” so like, thanks FOB.

My main tool for boundary enforcement is distance and it looks like, after doing more Mom-visits than normal this year, I gotta cut ‘em down again for awhile. Don’t know how I should/could handle it when she next asks about a visit, but yeah, I need more boundary practice, and I want more distance for now.

/head in hands/ ugh.

Edit: and she (with permission) sent me a copy of a book I’ve been wanting, and I’m going to send her a doll I don’t want anymore for her to either keep or pass along to her doll club, and both those things would be so much more fine if the art supply store thing hadn’t happened.

[thisismyroaring20s]

My track-by-track review of Pray for the Wicked (spoilers)

and by review I mean literally just my stream of consciousness while listening to the songs ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If that interests you feel free to read on. (Update: the ratings are based on other Panic songs, not just songs in general)

1. (Fuck A) Silver Lining

I think this was the first song I listened to off of the new album, loved it then, still love it now "Out of the old, and into the new, we dedicate, this song to you" GREAT INTRO TO AN ALBUM, felt very We're So Starving-esque, except instead of 'don't worry we're still the same' it's 'we're different but it's fine' (you know what maybe it's more 'swear to shake it up if you swear to listen') and then you get slammed with FUCK A. SILVER LINING. heck yes fuck it up Bren. I like how he's like 'silver isn't good enough, we aiming higher dammit' Shoutout to 'Yonce. The bleep part at like 2:07 reminds me of the radio edit of Raise Your Glass by P!nk. This song is just a little too repetitive for me tbh 5/10

2. Say Amen (Saturday Night)

Does anyone know wtf the intro is saying? What language is that? Is it a language or is it gibberish? Someone help. I hear "ah-deh-jah". Chorus makes me wanna smash stuff, but that may be because of the mv. Again, what are these words? "mah-key-key-yeah" I need answers. Vocals are amazing, obvi. I like this song a lot, and it's my boyfriend's fav as of rn. Saturday, SATurday, SATURDAYEEEEE. YES. incredible tbh. 9/10

3. Hey Look Ma, I Made It

Wasn't sold on the intro at first, sounded boring compared to the others. "i'm a hooker selling songs and my pimps a record label" I love it, great line, was the first thing that I liked about this song. I really like the sound of the pre-chorus. "IF YOU LOSE BOO HOO, HEY LOOK MA I MADE IT" 😂😂😂 I screeched honestly. Chorus is super fun. "if it’s a dream, don't wake me" reminded me of Stay Frosty (shoutout to FOB, love ya 😘) "see it, I want it, I take it" reminded me of two things: 1. Emperor's New Clothes, lbr, "see what's mine and take it" and 2. Fireball by Pitbull "I came, I saw, I conquered or should I say I saw, I conquered, I came" IDK WHY DON'T ASK i hate myself for thinking of that too lmao. I really like the way the song ends, idk why, just sounds cool. As for the music video, honestly wtf. It just reminded me of glee and Ed Sheeran. lmao. I loved it though. Anyways, great song, fun as all get out 8.5/10

4. High Hopes

Yes that brass! 🎺 "didn't have a dime but I always had a vision" "I was gonna be that one in a million" A++ lines. I also live-tweeted/tumbld this song when it was released.

And I did this:

and Panic retweeted me nbd. Honestly I love this song sm, and I relate to it a lot because people are always like "you're never gonna make it (and I'm like "I don't wanna make it. I just. wanna. *guitar riff*" jk lmao) but my mom is like my biggest fan and believes in me a lot and I love her a lot. And I always feel like I do have high hopes for everything, and it doesn't always work out but like... you gotta try for what you want in life. And you gotta be you unapologetically. Okay, sappy time over. The stripped back part that starts at like 2:20 with just his vocals and the background vocals. I've ascended, that part is amazing and then the drums kick in and you feel it building 😍 YES. 9.5/10

5. Roaring 20s

Holy shit I love this song so much. Perfect anthem for the summer I turn 21. The sound of the band at first and then the piano joins in?! Hell yes. "the oddest of summers" would you say it's.. pretty odd?👀👀 lmao I'll see myself out. The line "maybe I'll medicate, maybe inebriate" really stuck with me for some reason, like I like it, but it also kinda concerns me. "Maybe I'll smile a bit, maybe the opposite" I just really like the way this sounds. "My telltale heart's a hammer in my chest" ya girl's an english major and we just studied this last semester, love it. ROLL ME LIKE A BLUNT CAUSE I WANNA GO HOME lmao. Super peppy, makes me wanna dance kinda chorus. "Oscars and Emmys and Grammys, everyone here is a trophy" honestly? Tea ☕. "Hallucinations only mean that your brain is on fire" I just like this line and wanted to point it out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The slowed down chorus is incredible, This. Is. My. ROARING. Roaring 20s. Can you tell this is one of my absolute favs on the album? Incredible. 10/10 👏👏👏

6. Dancing's Not a Crime

Started strong. Could tell from the first second this was gonna be catchy af. Shoutout to MJ, amirite? Lots of rhyming. Marauders. Harry Potter. "Dancing's not a crime unless you do it without me" adorable omg Bren ily. "Don't be throwin shade now"

Lmao, no but really, got a little repetitive tbh but adorable anyway. Honestly don't have much to say about this song, it was okay 4/10

7. One of the Drunks

Love the beginning. "orange juice" reminded me of 400 Lux by Lorde and I started laughing. I love the way he pronounces words in this song (esp "times" and "remedy") 😍 "Damn it's all good... I guess" relatable af. "high as the sun, uncomfortably numb" I just like this. The speaking at the end omgggg 😂😂"I SAW YOU FUCKIN LIFT THAT SAX UP TOWARD THE MICROPHONE! AND I FELL IN LOVE" i cried 😂 8/10

8. The Overpass

Um??...yes 😍 that big band opening? hell yea. "sorry to get sentimental tonight" but sentimental boy is his nomme de plume tho. "Someone still loves you" 👀 The song is super fkn catchy, i love it. "sketchy girls and lipstick boys" upgrade from testosterone boys and harlequin girls or nah? I think nah. The mere mention of perfume by panic will always make me think of nearly witches, sorry not sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ THIS SLOW PART IS AMAZING I’M IN LOVE. "down to your blood type" a lil creepy but okay Bren cute. 9/10

9. King of the Clouds

Starts kinda abruptly tbh, but I like it. interesting lyrically imo, and I really like the emphasis he puts on parts of words. music is stellar. lyric video looks really cool w/the song. (Side note: Does anyone know what the symbols in the video that aren't hieroglyphics are? I wanna know, hmu if you know.) Not too crazy about the fast-forward-y high pitched part at about a minute in, it was a choice. "some only live to die, I'm alive to fly high-er than angels in outfields, inside of my mind" I love this line a lot tbh "I'm lost but I better find it alone" made me real sad bruh please you don't gotta be alone 😭 7/10

10. Old Fashioned

Very, very beginning, like first 5 seconds, gave me like Right Where You Want Me/Beautiful Soul era Jesse McCartney vibes. And then the intro went into cellphone/car commercial territory. Then the vocals started and it felt less commercial-y. Love the beat, it's real fun. Verse vocals felt like they didn't quite fit with the music. "seventeen's so gone" "remember your youth...they were the best of times" i'm cryign 😭. "always tip your bartenders" "get boozy" just made me laugh and the rest of the song made me sad. I live for parts of songs when like a chorus of people sing a line together, like gives you hell and the last chorus of this (esp the "pour out some liquor, make it an old-fashioned") #fuckmeup. The very end felt like it should have gone into a peppier iteration of the chorus, felt like it shouldn't have ended there. 7/10

11. Dying in LA

So pretty at the start. VOCALS OMG. "Stars are on the ground" walk of fame? "Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you" I WALK THIS LONELY ROAD. "when ya DYin in la" 😂 Is this just a continuation of LA Devotee? Is this what happens to LA Devotees? Wow the instruments in this song are so pretty. I wouldn't say it fades into WTDMTN like someone said, but it definitely sounds similar, it's just the choice of instruments. That was such a beautiful song. ❤️❤️❤️ Wow. 9/10