#back - my back hurts n scoliosis is starting to show more n more

[missmalaysia]

i need a hug so badly im so sick of everything

[give-seconds]

Survival of the Fittest

Summary: Welcome to the Badlands of Montana! This will be the setting of our game. What’s the name of the game? Simple, make it out alive. In which you and Jaemin are kidnapped and forced to try and find your way out of the Badlands.

Masterlist | Main Masterlist

---Part three

“What time is it?”

Jaemin tiredly looks down at his watch, blinking a few times. “It’s almost 6:30.”

You nod your head, stopping in place. “Let’s look for a place to stop and sleep.”

“I don’t think the place matters, but more what we can use to block the sun.”

You spin around, looking up to see which side the sun is rising on. “Why don’t we just sleep at the base of that hill?” You point to one of the bigger hills to your left. “That way we aren’t facing the morning sun.”

He nods his head, already moving towards the hill. “Do you want to use my sweater as a pillow?”

“You sleep first,” you say, ignoring the question. “You’re more tired than I am.”

“Are you sure about that? I don’t mind waiting.”

You smile, nodding your head. Maybe it’s that you’ve surrounded yourself with the wrong people, but you've never met anyone other than you who could be so politely selfish. It’s nice of him to offer, but his tone says that he wants you to say he can sleep first. It’s comforting to know that someone like Jaemin, someone so nice, has his moments of selfishness. That someone who seems so genuinely good-hearted has the same trait as you.  

“I’m positive. My feet are the most tired thing about me.”

He sets the bag at the base of the hill, sitting down next to it. “Okay, but if you have trouble keeping your eyes open don’t feel bad waking me up.”

Now that - that’s a genuine offer.

“Of course, Jaemin.” You pull off your sweater, smiling softly as you hand it to him.

He smiles back, reaching his hand up to take it. He holds your stare for a little, long enough to see his smile falter, before clearing his throat and putting your sweater in his lap.

“So yours doesn't get dirty,” he mumbles, pulling his hoodie off. He balls his sweater into a pillow before placing it on the ground an arms length away.

He looks at you, the hoodie, then back at you. “And you’ll be okay by yourself? I mean I know we have to sleep, but maybe if we just wait until it’s midday to sleep. Then the snakes definitely won’t be out.”

“You don’t have to worry about the snakes, Jaemin. I’ll protect you.” You walk over to where he was, sitting a few feet away from him. “I’ll just stay right here. I might go look around a bit, maybe find a place to use the bathroom, but I promise I’ll stay close.”

He nods his head, laying back onto the makeshift pillow and stretching his legs out. He wraps your hoodie around himself as tightly as he can, shifting around before seeming to find a semi-comfortable spot. “This is going to kill my back.”

You snort. “I know, can’t say I’m excited.”

“Gotta love having back problems,” he mumbles, turning onto his other side.

“Right, it’s like you fall on your tailbone once in fourth grade.” He mutters a small “ouch,” and you can see his face scrunch at the image. “Get scoliosis in high school and your back decides it’s all over.”

“I have a messed up disk in my vertebrae, so twinzies I guess.”

You laugh, leaning your head against the hill. We’re going to be disgusting by the time we get there. “I guess you’re right.”

“You’ll learn soon, I’m always right y/n.”

You chuckle. “I’m sure you are Jaemin.”

He turns onto his other side, uttering a sigh as he shuffles around some more.

“Goodnight, Jaemin.”

“I think you mean good morning.”

You roll your eyes, smiling at his childness. “Fine, good morning, Jaemin.”

“Good morning, y/n.”

----

Jaemin looks over at you, smiling softly.

He’d heard you crying maybe five minutes after he’d laid down, you must’ve thought he was asleep.

If practically raising his little sister had taught him anything, it was to pick your battles. And trying to comfort you in this situation was not a battle he could win.

He closes his eyes, leaning his head against the hill. He’s trying so hard to fight the horrible feeling in his stomach whenever he thinks of Emma.

Maybe she’s at the Andersons? Or maybe she’s still at the house, scared out of her mind.

He feels tears prick at his own eyes. He would give anything to be back at the house, barging into her room and declaring that tonight was movie night. Where they could sit, pressed against each other on the small couch, sharing a blanket and two bags of popcorn still inside the bag.

It’s okay Emma, we see our way out. I’ll be home in no time.

-----

What is this?

You and Jaemin are stopped dead in your tracks in front of a patch of fake green grass, little golf balls scattered around.

“This isn’t - this can’t be what we were walking towards, can it?”

Maybe I’m just wrong, no way we could’ve thought this was our way out. This is just a patch of fake grass, this has to be something to deter us from what is in front of us. Right?

“Let’s just,” he mumbles, walking across the fake grass to pick up the orange backpack resting on the opposite end. “Let’s just open this up.”

He opens it up, sighing as he pulls out a piece of paper. He reads it, closing his eyes before crumpling it into a ball and throwing it on the ground.

“What is it Jaemin? What did it say?”

You want to move, to go over, uncrumple the note, and read it for yourself. Most of the time, you don’t mind brutal honesty. But this is something that can hurt you, something that you can’t just build mental walls to block out.

“What do you think it says?” He snaps. “It basically taunts us for falling for this stupid trap. Tells us this is what we thought was our way out, that this is all some sick joke to motivate us to keep moving.”

“Um okay, let’s just take a moment to think.”

“What is there to think about? We don't have a third of the power we thought we did.”

You walk towards him, taking every second of the small walk to think of what to say that could calm him down enough to have a decent conversation. “I know, but it’s not like we thought we had much power to begin with. Jaemin you’re not dumb, you know what we are. We’re being forced to participate in this sick game, but we don’t have to let it just be that. We had hope before, and we can find it again.”

“Are you sure? This was what we thought was our one chance at getting out, and it was a lie!” He moves his hands dramatically, not looking at you until the end.

You haven’t known Jaemin long, and considering the situation, you don’t know how much of what you’re seeing is the “real him.” But you know that this isn’t him, this is the fear.

“I understand Jaemin, I do. But we need to calm down and figure out a plan on where we’re going from here.”

“What is planning going to do?” He scoffs. “I can’t imagine someone who married for money having anyone to live for, but I do, y/n. So this might not matter to you, but to me, this is almost the worst outcome.”

You take a half step back, feeling the weight of the words hit you. This is exactly why you never told anyone, you knew how they would see you. Yet, you went against your gut and decided to tell a complete stranger. And for what? Just to feel like there was someone out there who knew the real you? Real smart y/n, real smart.

You nod your head, scanning his eyes for anything.

Whatever you’re looking for, you don’t see it.

“Okay. So here’s what we’re going to do,” you say, pushing away any emotion trying to come up. Now is not the time to show him anything. “We’re going to change out the cameras on our necks and then climb to the top of another mountain. We’ll see if we can see anything, and if not, we decide what to do from there.”

He stares back at you, eyes still not conveying any emotion. And as much as you want to look away, you keep your ground. Eye contact has always been hard for you, but people will walk over you if you can’t look them in the eyes.

So you’ve adapted.

He nods his head, looking down to open the bag. He silently hands you one of the chokers, setting both backpacks down as he pulls out the other.

After successfully changing out your choker, you look over to see Jaemin still struggling to take his off.

Without saying anything, you walk behind him and gently pull at the new choker until he lets go.

“Y/n-”

“I think we should just transfer all the good stuff into the new backpack,” you interrupt, reaching over his shoulder to hand him the old choker. You can’t tell if he was trying to carry on the conversation from before, maybe explain himself and the things he said or try and coax you into another argument, but whatever it was, you’re not in the mood. “That way we don't carry around two bags, one only half full.”

He sighs softly. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Cool.”

Crouching down to open the orange bag, you look in to see two apples, two more protein bars, and two more bottles of water. Opening the red backpack, you take what’s left in the bag and place it into the orange one.

“We haven’t eaten yet,” he mumbles before you can close it. “Maybe we should eat before we start climbing.”

You nod your head, reaching into the bag and pulling out one of the two apples. Without looking away from the bag, you extend your arm to hand him the apple. “We should eat them before they go bad.”

“Good idea,” he says, taking the apple from you. His fingers brush yours, and you retract your hand as fast as possible.

Reaching back into the bag, you pull out the other apple. You close your eyes briefly, still bent over the bag. Why is everything so hard?

Straightening your back, you take a deep breath to clear your thoughts of the past five minutes. Taking a bite of your apple, you look around at the surrounding hills. They are all roughly the same height, becoming a matter of deciding which one to climb.

“Here,” you say, walking to the base of one of the nearby hills. “This one look tall enough?”

Jaemin looks up, using the hand holding the apple to block the sun from his eyes. “Yeah, I’d say that one’s tall enough.”

“Okay.” You slide your arm through the other strap, tightening them. “Then after we finish our apples, let’s start moving.”

He nods his head, looking away from you as he continues to silently eat. You look up to the mountain, turning your back to him.

You want to ignore the feeling in your gut, ignore the fact that you’re no longer hungry despite hearing your stomach growl. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, you both were supposed to get a happy ending.

But now, you just don’t know. Anything could happen.

---

Thank you to @sleepyyangyang and @softsungchan for proofreading! I definitely think this was one of my rougher ones. I would love to know what you think, have a great day/night!! 

Taglist: @drydrops891

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[kokodzukenken]

if you’re comfy writing it, can i get some tsukki + yamaguchi (separately) with a s/o who has a lot of back pains due to scoliosis? like even when they’re laying down it can rlly hurt? if you’re uncomfortable with writing that i get it!

hi 🥺 thank you for requesting and i really hope you have a good day!! take care and stay hydrated <3

having an s/o with back pain due to scoliosis

characters: tsukishima, yamaguchi

genre: fluff

warnings: none

Tsukishima Kei:

okay so we know that he has a bit of a mean streak, yea? he would probably tease you about a lot of things but he would never say anything about your scoliosis

he would be mindful of his words

he's an ass but not that much of an ass

tsukki would most likely treat you as normal as he can bcs he wouldn't want you to feel as though he's pitying you or anything

but he would do small things that shows that he cares ya feel?

like he'd remind you to stand straight and help you carry your stuff here and there

he wouldn't even ask, he'd just grab whatever you're holding and not even look at you while doing so 😳

especially when you tell him you experience back pain quite a lot

look- you don't really have a choice. he would carry your bag, your bottle and even your phone

and still act as if it's nothing

would probably search online to find other ways to help you

he read that emotional support is important and he's just like- fuck how do i?

so he starts being a bit more touchy

softly puts his hand on your back as you guys walk

puts his headphones on you and plays these encouraging, happy songs

lmao big simp energy™

if you have a brace, better bet that he'd make sure you don't forget to wear it

and if you're on your phone too much, he would just snatch it out of your hands

"tsk, you're hunching over the phone again" definitely not bcs he wants attention psh no

overall cares a lot and hates that you're in pain, even if he doesn't outwardly show it

does all that in hopes he eases your pain at least a little bit

Sat on a bench, Tsukki sitting to your left, you continue playing animal crossing. The weather's nice, there's a soft breeze and the sun isn't too bright. You were still looking for the money rock and had a focused look on your face when you hear Tsukki clicking his tongue, grabbing the switch out of your hand. "Hey, what are y-," He softly tapped your back, his way of reminding you to stand straight. Standing up, Tsukki grabs your hand and motions for you to stretch. After a minute or two of simple stretching, you sat back down, admiring your boyfriend. He's not bold with his actions but boy, he definitely cares.

"Hey"

"Yea?"

"Can I have my switch back?"

"No"

Yamaguchi Tadashi:

he'd definitely panic when you say you get a lot of back pain

"wHY ARE YOU IN SCHOOL THEN"

baby- you can't skip every day of school 😔

yams would be very attentive to your reactions

if you were out together and he notices you wince even a tiny bit, he'd immediately ask if you're okay

he's just worried okay 🥺

when you first told him you usually have back pain bcs of your condition, he would mainly try to give emotional support

would be on google the second he gets home tho

looks up ways to help ease back pain due to scoliosis

read that yoga and stretching helps so better be ready

makes sure to join you in doing yoga and stretching at least once a week bcs he wants to be there for you

but let's be honest, he also just missed you ✋🏻😔

if you stay over at his place, he'd have a bunch of comforters and plushies bcs he knows that sometimes your back hurts even when you're laying down

makes sure his pillows are not too big, not too fluffly, not too flat, not t- perfect basically

if the pain gets worse and he can't do anything, yams would try to distract you with snacks okay

he'll share his floppy fries with you

if that's not love then tell me what is

"Yams?" you look at him as you were sat on his bed. Smiling, he brought your attention to the big box he's carrying in his arms. "These are snacks," placing the box on the floor before moving to the closet to pull a bunch of conforters and pillows out, "and these are for extra comfort!" He knew you struggled with back pain even while laying down so he wanted to make you as comfortable as possible. Your expression softened looking at him and you think to yourself, who did I save in my past life for me to deserve this? "Y/N, are you okay? Is it worse now?" Yamaguchis' words snapped you out of your thoughts. Letting out a laugh, you stand up and wrap your arms around him, basking in the smell of his t-shirt and his flushed face.

"Thank you, I really appreciate all of this."

[thestuckylibrary]

Group Ask 159

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Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said:

Hi, I'm looking for a fic where Bucky is a familiar and Steve is a witch. Bucky had been captured by a wizard that kept him as a source of magic. He escapes as a cat and runs into Steve, who takes him in under the impression that that he's a stray. Eventually he turns back into a human and, long story short, they fuck and live happily ever after. Thank you for your help!

Anon 2 said:

Hey! So, I've been looking for this fic for almost a year now, and I've had no luck in finding it. Here's what I remember: Natasha and Tony watch either live video or audio feed of Stucky having sex, and they both get turned on. Natasha leaves before Tony does, and at the end of the fic, Steve says something along the lines of "I know you're there, Tony". I wish I could I could remember more details, but it's been a while... I really, really hope you can find it. Thanks for the help!

shinsouaizawa said:

Hi, I’m looking for a fic where Steve takes Bucky to the MoMA after the events of tws and Bucky sees a Rothko painting and he gets real emotional about it? I can’t find it and would love some help. Thanks!

elladoraevans sent in Captain America and the Great Pygmalion Debacle by Chianine (complete | 31,739 | E)

definemathinnumbers said:

I was wondering if anyone knew the story where Bucky and Steve are con artists in modern day, and Bucky gets busted and taken in by SHIELD so Steve disguised himself as an agent to sneak in after him. He gets caught and recruited. Modern!skinny!steve, he was colour blind, had hearing aids and scoliosis? Shitty apartment, saving money for a better place and art school with scams. Bucky was pretending to be selling a cruise when he’s busted by Nat and Clint I believe

Anon 3 said:

i searched for this fic in your blog but i can’t find it but i remember clearly that i found it on your blog sorry :/// so steve is a retired cap?? n they are choosing the new cap between bucky sharon n peggy n one time steve kidnaps bucky bc bucky is fury’s best agent n he has smth w fury?? there’s some smut as well i think hopefully u can help me thanks so much!!! ur blog is super helpful xxxx (steve n peggy are divorced n age gap between steve n bucky if it helps!!) thanks again

dolphinqueen10 sent in  if you're looking for jesus (then get on your knees) by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 18,171 | E)

alrightyaphrdite said:

fic where steve like works as santa in a mall and i’m p sure it closes down or something n he needs a new job n starts working for bucky around his cabin in the woods??? i can’t find this anywhere

gildinwenthekittenblog said:

There's a post Endgame fix where our Steve- goes back to the 2012 timeline, to try to get that Timeline's Bucky out from under Hydra control much earlier. He makes out with himself early on in the fic, as ruse to explain why Cap is HYDRA ( going under the alias of Chris) and he finds closure with Natasha and Tony of that TL, and I can't find it which sucks cos I really loved it :(

getstucky sent in darling heart, i loved you from the start (but that’s no excuse for the state i’m in) by voxofthevoid (oneshot | 19,725 | T)

soulsofsunshines said:

Hi! I'm looking for a shrinkyclinks fic, with ws!bucky as part of the avengers team (none of the avengers actually know anything about him). They keep asking him to join them for movie nights, but he turns them down. Then one day something happens (I think he maybe has a bit of a panic attack???) and tiny Steve shows up and reminds Bucky that he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do - like sort of reminding him he's a person? I've been searching forever, any help is appreciated!

time-lord-no-more sent in A Matter of Pride(?) by Quarra (complete | 5,918 | M)

Anon 4 said:

hey im looking for this fic i lost.. it's a modern, no powers au and steve smokes weed for pain management (?), bucky has two big doggos (i think it was huskies) and they are neighbors who don't immediately hit it off?? thanks for the help! :)

Anon 5 said:

steve has blood on his hands but only he can see it, bucky doesnt talk to him anymore but hes in a group called “the trio” with nat and clint, steve has a panic attack on a mission when bucky dances with natasha, bucky tells him later that he couldnt be around him because he didnt want to risk hurting him and he knew nat would fight back if he went back into winter soldier mode thank you for your help!!

dolphinqueen10 sent in Blood on my Hands by Tator (oneshot | 7,820 | G)

tiredhomosapien said:

Hi I've tried looking through tags but I can't find the fic where: Bucky is currently in college and Natasha just broke up with him for being too boring. He's mopes a little but Steve ( pre-serum) pops up again after being gone for years. Steve is there to woo him and is actually a pretty successful artist, Bucky models nude for him at some point. Steve speaks multiple languages and at one pints tells Tony(?) to back off because he was there for Bucky. Thank you for all the work you do!

dolphinqueen10 and autonomygirl sent in Lessons In Chemistry by Brenda (complete | 42,392 | E)

Anon 6 said: (polyamory)

Hi there! I'm trying to refind poly au series in which steve and bucky ask out Nurse! Tony and the date was going great on the end of Steve/Tony but Bucky was glaring and aloof to Tony the entire date.

Anon 7 said: (mcd)

there was an abo fic and it was set in 40s, steve didn't receive the serum and bucky came home after war. they are bonded and married and bucky works in a garage that's ruled by the romanoffs. they have a lot of kids, like a lot. and at the end i think it was steve who died first then bucky followed him in couple days. it was a very cute one and i'd like to read it again, pls help me thanks!!

goldenmoleblr sent in Like Rahab by moonythejedi394 (complete | 131,789 | E) - check additional tags!

Anon 8 said:   (Not Stucky)

Hello, Does anyone know of a fic where Bucky (I think) has a pet rock that someone glued onto a block of wood and added googly eyes and a tiara? It either said "Pretty Princess Award" or "I'm a pretty princess." I haven't been able to find it searching in the AU tags. Thanks!

Anon 9 said:

hello!!! im looking for a fic and the only part i can remember is this girl who works in the tower has a crush on bucky and then learns hes dating steve and tries to kiss bucky and take a picture so she can send it to steve but steve sees it happen and he yells at her, i think theres more to the one shot than this but i couldnt find it in your 5+1 tag, thank you for your help!

[sabraeal]

Rarely Pure & Never Simple, Chapter 5

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Obiyuki Week, Day 5 Wrath | Patience

By May, Shirayuki has been at Clarines High -- that’s what they call it, no matter whose name is above the entrance, for reasons no one has been able to explain to her -- for eight months, and she’d be hard-pressed to name a single thing Tanbarun Academy could hold over it, except, well...

The backpack ban.

(”It’s not that hard to get around,” Kihal tells her, picking at the pastrami in her sub.

“You can just get a messenger bag,” Obi adds around the remains of his Mayflower. Why someone would want stuffing in a sandwich, Shirayuki will never quite know, but from how baggy his band tees are, he could probably use the calories. “You know, the rind is what has all the flavor.”

“I don’t want the flavor, I want prosciutto, but some people don’t know there’s more than one deli meat with a ‘p.’“

Obi shrugs a shoulder, unapologetic. “We don’t have fancy sliced ham where I come from. If you want pork you have to stab the pig yourself.”

“Oh please.” Kihal’s eyelashes flutter as she rolls her eyes, and it strikes her -- Kihal is flirting. With Obi. “As if you’ve ever seen a pig.”

“I’ve seen them on the side of a can,” he says, all smiles, and Kihal sighs, not even noticing how he’s -- he’s not joking. Shirayuki can’t say she knows Obi much more than she knows anyone here, but --

But she knows what it’s like when you don’t want to talk about hard stuff. Real stuff. Not when everyone around you asks about what you did for your Sweet Sixteen, still.

“See?” Kihal jerks a thumb at him. “If this idiot can figure it out, you can too.”

Shirayuki glances between them, first at Kihal’s flat look and then Obi’s bemused one. “But messenger bags are so bad for your spine!”)

English book? Check. A Tale of Two Cities? Check. Her English notebook, with the three-ring binder definitely, for real closed and not about to spill out onto the floor? Check. Pencil case, with all her writing utensils, including the highlighters? Check.

Shirayuki hefts her haul up, arms quivering, and lets out a satisfied sigh. Sure, Obi may call this doubling down on a bad idea, but life’s too long for scoliosis --

“Ms Leon?” A tall shadow falls across her desk, and even if she weren’t still in his classroom, Shirayuki would know it was Mr Haruka from sternness alone. “Stay after class, if you would.”

She jolts upright, a good eight of her fifteen smooth-glide, fine-tipped journal pens -- all different colors, because who can properly color-code with only black, blue and red, for goodness’ sake -- spill right out on the floor. Ah, she forgot to do the Closed Pencil Case check.

“Y-yes, sir!” She looks him right in the eyes, but they give away nothing, and all she can think is -- plagiarism. She somehow forgot that she read something on the internet, put it in her last essay, and now she’s going to get expelled, barely a month before she graduates --

“Ms Leon.” His mouth curls, just the smallest bit, right at one corner. “Please breathe. And do pick up your writing implements.”

“Oh, yes, um.” She hurries to put the pens back in their case, taking surreptitious glances at his Oxfords. “Sorry, that’s -- important. Breathing, I mean.”

She can’t see his face but she could swear -- swear -- he laughs. Just under his breath, the lightest chuckle. “Over this way, if you please.”

She looks up, following his arm until she realizes -- his desk. He’s pointing at his desk. And the small chair to one side of it. “Oh.”

“Shirayuki.” Her eyes jump to him, and -- oh, yes. Mr Haruka is definitely laughing at her. “You’re not in trouble. I promise.”

“Oh, right.” She lets out a giggle that is awkward, too high-pitched to be anything but pure nerves. “Of course not. Why would I be in trouble? I mean--”

“Just sit, Shirayuki.” He takes the chair behind his desk, shaking his head. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“Valedictorian?” she squeaks. “You’re telling me I’m valedictorian?”

“No! No.” Mr Haruka waves his hands gently, neck swiveling toward the door, as if that might make her words softer, as if he could stop the sound from leaving the room. “We don’t...do those things here. Because of the children.”

His tone makes it very clear that he is not so worried about the children as the administration is.

“Metrics like that might hurt more the fragile eg-- feelings of our students.” His mouth pulls into a grimace. “So we no longer...rank our high achievers. Instead, we invite the top one percent of our senior class to submit a speech. Which is what I’m doing right now. Inviting you to submit one.”

She stares. “But...I only started at Clarines this year. No one could possibly--”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Ms Leon.” His hands fold neatly on top of his desk calendar, which is all she can look at, because she knows -- she knows if she looks at him when he says what he’s going to say next -- “Your experience is just as valuable and important as anyone’s here, and if you -- my god, are you crying?”

“No,” she sniffs, but hot tracks already burn down her cheeks. He thrusts out a fistful of tissues from the box on his desk, staring at the wall like if he doesn’t look, it can’t possibly be happening. “Maybe.”

“Just...clean yourself up,” he tells her, stern, but when she glances up, he’s blushing. “As I was saying, your grades put you at the top of the class, and even if you’ve only been here a year, clearly you’ve made your mark.”

“Thank you,” she manages, little more than a squeak. “But I still think--”

“And unlike your other classmates, you’re literate,” Haruka tells the wall, as if she’s hardly there. “And you’re a good thinker. Your essays are concise and show more original thought than most any I’ve seen in twenty years of teaching. Besides --” his eyes dart back to her, mouth twitching at the corner -- “the kids say that if you’re the Honor Society Advisor’s favorite student, you’re a shoe-in to be picked.”

She blinks. “But, sir. You’re the advisor for the Honor Society.”

His mouth quivers. “Yes, Shirayuki, I am.”

“But...” Her jaw snicks shut. “Oh. Oh.”

“They’re due at the end of next week,” he tells her. “But you can drop it off on my desk as early as Monday. That is, if you’d like--”

“Yes. I mean, I will.” She jumps up, chair screeching across the tile. “Monday.”

He settles back in his chair, concern flitting across his features. “You know, you can’t take your time--”

“Don’t worry,” she tells him with a smile. “I’ll have it perfect.”

She’s halfway home when she feels the buzz in her pocket, and guilt nearly drags her under when her notification screen light’s up with Obi’s smiling portrait.

(”Did you crop this?” Obi’s grin is too wide for safety, and far too close.

“Y-yes!” His breath is hot on her neck, but she is going to finish this essay if it kills her. Which it might, if he keeps on looking at her like -- like that. “I can’t just --” words abandon her -- “have that show up, when my grandparents are around.”

His grin only turns more wicked. “Really? I think Nanna might appreciate--”

“Well, you could certainly ask her, since she got a real eyeful the last time you were over.” Shirayuki had expected a revision of the six-inch rule for her door, but instead Nanna had only smiled and told her, some things can just stay between us girls.

His eyes pulse wide. “It’s just my chest, kid. Not like I sent you a dick --”

“Please,” she squeal, covering her face. “Don’t.”)

Hey babe, it reads, and her stomach flips, just the smallest bit. Just wanted 2 remind u that i was hanging with Zen n every1 tonight.

Her mental calendar clicks into place, and she realizes -- Friday. It’s Friday. He has his usual pick-up game with friends, and she spends the night studying. Unless she goes with him, but even though things are fine between her and Zen -- good, even -- she doesn’t need to rub all this in his face. Especially when he’s hoping for a good time with his friends.

And if tonight’s Friday...

That’s fine. I have something I need to do this weekend. See you on Monday!

Instead of studying -- which she should do, really; finals are coming up in another week -- she spends the night googling things like best graduation speeches, and best HIGH SCHOOL graduation speeches, and best high school graduation speeches by new students not funny. After her nine or tenth compilation video she cuts herself off.

Three days to write a speech. It has to be short, but not too short; sweet, but not saccharine; and funny. Which she can’t do, so she’ll just settle for poignant instead.

With a few short taps, her phone is silenced. No interruptions. Just a weekend with her and a word processor, hoping something like wisdom comes out.

She can do this.

“Shirayuki?”

She startles, and it’s only Nanna’s hand that keeps her from face-planting right into the carpet. She’d fallen asleep, right here at the desk, and --

The speech.

Her neck swivels so fast it makes a painful crack, but there it is, on the screen --

“Oh my gosh,” she breathes. “It’s gibberish.”

“You were on the keyboard, dear,” Nanna sighs, leaning over her. She clicks the cursor and drags all the way up the screen, scrolling past almost three pages of nonsense to --

“Oh, oh!” She grips the edge of the desk. “It’s all there. It’s done!”

“Good girl.” Nanna pats her head, giving her a good scritch at the crown, like she always does. “But Obi’s on the horn.”

“The--?” She blinks, looking up at the cordless cradled against her cardigan. “He called the house?”

“He called the house,” Nanna agrees, very slow, like she’s afraid the implication might miss her. “And he sounds like he’s in a state.”

“Why wouldn’t he just call--?” Shes click her phone on, and the face of it proudly proclaims Obi: 12 missed calls, followed by a run of cut-off text messages. “Oh no.”

She holds her hand out, and Nanna drops the receiver into it. “Obi? Is something -- is something wrong?“

He lets out a laugh but it sounds -- ragged. “I don’t know, is there?”

She blinks. “Should I know?”

“Shirayuki.” His voice is tight, tense. “You haven’t talked to me since Thursday.”

“What? But I--?” She clamps down hard as she looks at their texts.

That’s fine. I have something I need to do this weekend. See you on Monday! still sits above her keyboard, unsent. Above it is, well --

hey is everything okay? kid is something up? you arent picking up your phone. please call me are you angry at me?

She blinks at that one. What could she possibly --

Oh no. Thursday.

(The applause is still rolling from the Daily Double, but Shirayuki can barely remember what the answer is, let alone the question when Obi’s touching her like this, his skirt up around her hips and his fingers deep inside her.

“It better not be College Jeopardy,” Lata calls out from the foyer, door closing behind him, but it’s too late, far too late to do more than stare as he walks into the room, face screwed up in annoyance. “I refuse to watch another night that makes the New York Times crossword look like a Gordian--”

Obi’s back is to him, so it’s Shirayuki that sees his gaze fall on it, then on the shirt discarded on the coffee table and the panties on the carpet, little banana splits smiling up at the plaster ceiling, and at last on the GWU shirt on the latest contestant before he turns on his heel and walks right of the room.)

please call me. we can work this out i promise i can do better

“Oh my gosh, Obi,” she breathes. There’s more but she -- she can’t look at that. Not right now. “I’m so sorry. I thought I had -- my text didn’t send!”

The silence from his end is deafening. “Your what?”

“I’ve been working on a project all weekend,” she admits, voice shaking. “And I silenced my phone so I could, you know, avoid distractions. I just -- I thought I pressed send, but I didn’t, and I’m -- I’m so sorry!”

There’s a pause, and then he must have put his phone down because she can hear him roaring with laughter, just...muted.

“Kid, kid,” he breathes, louder this time, brighter. “You are...something else.”

She’s glad he can’t see her, because he’d definitely call this painful red cute. “I...I guess.”

“Well?” She can almost see his eyebrows raising. “Did you finish?”

“Oh! Yes!” She spins, clicking at the doc. “I’m -- I’m just printing it out now.”

“So...” His voice slides straight into that easy purr, the one that makes her thighs clench just thinking about it. “...You don’t need to avoid distractions anymore?”

Even with all -- that, she still nearly says, I guess not, as if she hasn’t picked up his subtle hints, but her brain catches up quicker than her mouth. She snaps her teeth over the words, giving herself a breath to think.

“Finals are next week,” she says carefully, watching the door. She can’t see Nanna, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t lurking in the hall, waiting to catch her. “You need to study, don’t you?”

His grin is practically audible. “Come over here. Lyrias’s finals are this week, so Lata left early.”

She presses her thighs together, and -- three days. It’s been three days.

“I’ll be over in a bit,” she tells him, all in a rush. “Make sure you come up with a study plan.”

“Oh, trust me,” he rumbles. “I know exactly what I’m going to do.”

“All right, my worst subject is gonna be English, because I forcibly forgot Catcher in the Rye, and now I gotta relearn it,” Obi tells her, and -- and he whips out a piece of paper, written in no less than five colors, and drops it in her lap. “But after that is chem. I don’t know shit about how orbitals work.”

“Oh!” She stares down, squinting at the chicken scratch that is just barely more legible than usual. Never has she been less excited by color-coding. “You actually...you actually made a plan.”

“These are the last set of finals I’m ever going to take in high school,” he tells her, teeth flashing behind his lips. “Hopefully. So I gotta -- gotta make it good right?”

I thought you wanted to make out, sits right on the tip of her tongue, but she looks at him, grinning at her so hard it crinkles his eyes, finally excited and she --

“Right.” She takes out her own, and props them side-by-side on his night table, edges curling in on one another. “Let’s get to work then.”

There’s a flaw in her plan.

Her palms sweat around the folder she holds in them, fingers sticking with an awkward squich as she taps them on the plastic. She had plans for today. Big plans. Plans that involved a mirror and a red pen, but now --

“Obi.”

He looks up from his notes, bubbly p-bonds blooming across the page, and her breath catches right in her chest. It’s soft yet -- yet hungry, molten and knowing, and it’s exactly how he looks right before he kisses her.

Shirayuki can ignore that though. She has -- business.

“Mm?” he hums, and that -- that’s trouble right there, the way he leans in smelling all nice --

Focus! Focus. That’s what she needs to do. “I need you to help me with something.”

This isn’t a good idea, not when this is the first time they’ve had time to be alone, just the two of them, in days, but -- it’s important.

His mouth curls, and oh, maybe she needs to be a little clearer about what she means by help --

“Well, kid?” he rumbles, leaning his chin on his hand. “I’m all ears.”

There isn’t enough air in this room.

That -- that’s the problem here. It’s got to be almost eighty out there, and sure, Lata’s house has central air, but Obi’s just...covered up a vent. That’s why she’s sweating, gasping for each breath like she’s run uphill; that’s why she’s so light-headed she could faint, not --

“Oh, god,” Shirayuki moans, clutching at his back, skin slick beneath her fingertips. “Please...”

-- Not anything to do with what he’s doing between her legs. Oh no, all this quivering just -- just because they need to open a window.

“What was that?” Obi rumbles, grinning against her neck. He lifts her hips, just a little, so that her ass tilts up on his knees, and then he slides his fingers deeper, just where she wants them --

“Holy--”

“I can’t hear you,” he says, too innocent, nipping right at the curve of her jaw. His hand stills, just short of where she needs him. “Maybe you don’t like--?”

Her fingers band around his wrist, showing him just what she’d like. Still he doesn’t do the -- the thing; touching her like this is all fine and good, but sometimes he does this...fluttery thing inside, and she --

“Did you want this?” he asks, half-breathless, and his fingers move. Stars bloom in her vision, bright against the black of her eyelids, and --

Well, she doesn’t have any complaints about it, that’s for sure.

“Stop teasing.” she pants, hips raising to chase his hand. “Just--”

Oh, it’s -- it’s very hard to keep any sort of thoughts in his head while he’s -- he’s doing things.

“Teasing?” It’s an inquisitive rumble right above her heart, eyebrows lifting in the worst impression of surprise she’s ever seen. “I can’t do what you want if you don’t tell me what you need...”

“You’re doing just -- haaah -- fine on your own,” she assures him, back arching off the bed.

“I need encouragement.”

She lifts her head, and the look he gives her is, well -- trouble. “I’m not going to -- to --”

“Scream?” he offers, curling his fingers in a way that makes that seem like a more probably eventuality than it did a minute ago. “I don’t see why not.”

Her face is already flushed from -- from things, but she feels it go darker, chest practically burning up. “What if -- if -- Lata--”

She can’t even finish the thought. She knows far too well what would happen. It will be nothing short of a miracle if she ever manages to look him in the eye again.

“Lata is hours away,” he tells her, lifting his head so that honeyed gaze can bear down into hers, “and you’ll be living in a dorm room soon. So you should take advantage--” he grins as she gasps, his fingers touching her just where he needs him -- “of the fact.”

She means to argue the point, really she does, but he wraps and arm around her waist, lifting her upright into his lap, and -- well, she gives him exactly what he wants.

“Hnn-aah.” Knees jellied, thighs quivering still, Shirayuki tips back with a sigh, Obi’s mattress catching her better than she can her breath.

“Well.” His fingers shimmer with -- with her as he raises them, giving them a thoughtful glance. It’s all for show; she knows before he even moves that he’ll wrap his lips around them, sucking off her taste as if he can’t get enough.

It doesn’t stop her helpless whine when they disappear into his mouth, long lashes fluttering against his cheek. It’s not fair that he looks so good doing -- doing that. “Obi!”

“I liked it.”

For a long minute, she stares, halfway to saying, I know you did, but --

“Oh!” She laughs, shaking her head on his pillow. It smells like him, fresh and earthy. “The speech! Were you even listening?”

“Of course.” He looks almost affronted that she doubts it. “I obviously found it inspiring.”

He settles beside her, his front pressed to her side, and his -- his dick pokes her hip, as if it’s proving his point. Which, all right, it kind of is, but -- but that’s beside the point.

“I should have known better.” She rolls up onto her side, letting it dig into her belly, and she just catches the slight flutter of his eyelashes, the hitch in his breath. “It’s been three days. Expecting you to focus was a big ask.”

“I did focus.” His hips squirm, rubbing up against hers. Her panties are -- well, somewhere, and his fly is open for comfort and she -- she’s a little distracted. By his grin, that was the plan. “I’m still very focused.”

“I get it, I get it,” she laughs, leaning into his chest, closing the space between them with a kiss. It’s quick, affection rather than desire, but every kiss with Obi turns into something that lingers, that leaves her a little breathless when she pulls away. “But really, did you--?”

“I loved it, kid, really.” He leans his forehead against hers, rubbing noses with a grin. “I wasn’t just thinking about whether you had tights on or not.”

She lets her silence do the talking on that one. Mostly because if she said anything, it would come out less like, I appreciate your attraction, but I am more than just what’s between my legs, and more like, I plan what I wear depending on whether or not I think we’ll have time to fool around.

Shirayuki bites back a sigh. I would be nice if all her feminist ideology didn’t crumble the second he looked at her.

His smile softens, fingers reaching out to tuck some errant flyaways behind her ear. “You did great, kid. They’ll love it.”

She leans into his touch, just the littlest bit, and maybe --

Maybe the reason she doesn’t feel like she has to aggressively remind him to respect her is because he already does.

“I especially liked that part about me.”

She’s already flushed, but her cheeks scale up to a five-alarm fire. “It wasn’t about you! It was about--”

“I know, I know, everyone you met here.” He smooths a hand over the top of her head, fingers trailing down to tangle at her nape and draw her close. Lips brush right between her brows, smoothing away the crinkle there. “Don’t worry, kid, I know I’m not the only important person in your life.”

Obi’s right, of course -- it’s not like she just emerged fully-formed from the ether at the beginning of senior year, just to be the girl he liked. She has her grandparents, and the few friends she’s kept from her old school, Zen and Kiki and Mistuhide, Kihal, Ryuu and Higata and the rest of the mathletes --

Wow, that’s a lot more people than she even thought.

But even still, there’s something in the way he says it, not even sad or resigned but -- but so certain he’s not anywhere at the top of the list and fine with it, that makes her blurt out, “Well, I mean, it is mostly about you.”

The flat of his teeth presses against her skin, and she doesn’t need to look at him to know how immensely pleased she’s made him, not when his -- his dick twitches, catching the underside of her belly.

“Do you need to--” even after all this time, she still doesn’t know quite how to ask -- “handle that?”

His eyebrows dip in confusion, and she wriggles her hips, not subtle in the least.

A laugh huffs out of him, his forehead slipping from hers to bury itself in the crook of her neck. She feels him shaking against her, but it takes her a good long minute to realize it’s a -- a shake. A no.

“No. Well--” she feels his lips curl against her skin, which is just doing nothing for her concentration right now -- “eventually. But it can wait.”

She opens her mouth to protest -- it’s not fair that she makes him wait on top of everything else -- but he just says, “I like being with you like this. You know, after.”

A breath catches tight in her chest. She does know; there’s something nice about him being close as she comes down, as the tingle fades from her body and leaves a bone-deep relaxation behind. Sometimes, when she lays there, trying to catch herself against his shoulder, she thinks about how nice it might be for there to be nothing between them, for their touches to be skin-to-skin and for him to be breathless too --

He lifts her arm up and lets it drop, boneless, to the bed. “You get all floppy. It’s really fucking cute.”

He mouth pulls thin, giving him the most forbidding glare she can dredge up, the most scolding she can do in silence --

And he pulls back, taking it in with a smile that is just -- fond. Content. His palm cups the back of her head, and he draws her close, tucking her head under his chin. He’s so close, so silent, that she can hear his heart beat in his chest, hear the breath fill and empty his lungs.

He’s too good to her.

Her fingers curl against his chest, skin still slick beneath them, and she has to take a moment to calm herself, to think, because it’s just -- a lot. So much.

She’s never dated anyone before, not even at her old school, but she knows that this is different. Zen never made her chest feel tight like this, like she’s too small in a single body, like even skin is too much of a barrier between them. That sometimes, if she tried hard enough, she wouldn’t even need to speak to have him know what she was thinking.

It’s intense. More than she thought, and if he were any other boy --

Well, if he were any other boy, he would already be in the bathroom, finishing himself off. If he were any other boy, he would have told her she needs to stop being so shy about dicks if she likes rubbing up against them so much.

But he doesn’t. It doesn’t even seem to bother him, which just -- it has to be fake.

Not that she’s complaining. It’s only --

Sure, it’s just about sex now. But she can’t help but wonder about if something was wrong -- really wrong -- whether he’d tell her or just -- do this, until he couldn’t stand it anymore. She’s good at reading him now, but what about when they don’t see each other every day, when she can’t just look at him to tell if there’s a problem--?

“How are we going to make this work?” she asks his throat, pulse racing against her lips.

He jerks against her like she’s yanked his strings. “What do you mean?”

“When I’m at Lyrias and you’re here.” She pushes back, just in time to see the fear in his eyes fade to concern, fade to certainty. “What if it’s not enough? What if--?”

“I’m going to visit.” He cards his fingers through her hair, the blunt edges of his nails scraping down her scalp in a way that’s nearly as soothing as his voice. “Remember? Once every two weeks, and I’ll stay the whole weekend, if your roommate doesn’t mind. And we can skype as much as you want. And I promise I’ll text you as obnoxiously as I do now.”

“So every two minutes?” she teases, leaning her forehead against his lips.

She can feel his smile against her hairline. “Mm, no. Too long. How about every minute?”

“Obi--”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” He squeezes her close. “Every five.”

Her hands are trapped against his chest, but she’s not above giving a good pinch. Even still, he just laughs, batting her hands away.

“I’m serious, Obi! We see each other every day, and then we just..won’t.” She squirms, tucking herself more firmly under his chin. It’s hard enough to say this out loud, never mind look at him while she’s doing it. “What if...what if...”

What if you get bored of me? She would never insult him by saying it, by implying that between them, he would somehow be the weak link, but -- it’s all she can think about. Hours away, only seeing her every two weeks, and who knows what time she’ll have outside of her course work to give him, and what time he’ll have with school and a job to give her --

Obi’s hand smooths down her back, broad and warm, and she just -- breathes.

“Shirayuki,” he says, her name rumbling fondly under her ear. “Haven’t I told you? You’re the only one who does it for me.”

She means to laugh, but it gasps out like wounded honk. “You can’t just keep saying that.”

“Why not?” For once, he sounds almost frustrated. “It’s true.”

It’s the earnestness that hurts. He’s so sure, and yet -- yet --

She wiggles her hips against his, feeling only the sharp jut of his pelvis. “It doesn’t feel like I’m doing it for you.”

Obi stares at her for a long moment, and then a laugh huffs out of him, his cheeks pink over bronze.

“Well, not right now.” His fingers drag against her scalp, burying themselves in the hair at her nape. “We’re having a serious conversation, I need all that blood. But give me a few minutes...”

The invitation is implicit, and she want to take it -- she means to take it, but --

She shakes her head. “One day you’ll meet a girl who isn’t afraid of penises, and then--”

“I’ve met plenty of girl who were very enthusiastic about penises.” His eyes meet hers as their foreheads touch. “And I still only want you.”

She lets out a sigh, closing her eyes. It would be nice to be able to believe that. “Be serious.”

“About you? Always.” For a breath he just lays there, head pressed against hers, but it doesn’t last. He shifts, pulling back, tilting her chin up so that their eyes meet. “Listen, I get that you haven’t done this whole long distance thing before. I haven’t either. I mean, fuck, kid, I haven’t really done this whole dating thing at all. I’m sure I’ll fuck up somewhere, but it won’t be by thinking the grass is greener on the other side, believe me.”

Her palms press flat against his chest, his heart racing beneath the, “Obi, I didn’t mean to--”

“But if you’re worried about us not being to do other stuff--” he waggles his eyebrows, making crystal clear just what sort of other stuff he’s talking about -- “we can always do skype sex.”

She stares, wondering if she’s having a stroke. “We can what?”

“You know.” His lips twitch. “When you skype each other, and then you watch each other get off.”

“I...” She blinks. “At the same time?”

“I’m mean, I’m a little fuzzy on the details here, but yeah.” His hand smooths down her spine, resting heavy just above her butt. It takes superhuman effort not to squirm back, not to press into it. “That’s typically how these things go.”

“And that...” She licks her lips, but her mouth is already dry. “That would work for you?”

He stiffens under her hands, eyes pulsing wide. “What, seeing you touch yourself? Getting all wet for me?” His hand urges her closer, and she can feel him hard against her thigh. “Watch you get all flushed because you’re hot for me? Think about how it could be me getting you that way, how I’d touch you to make you come?”

To her complete humiliation, she whimpers.

“Yeah,” he breathes, gazes fixed her hers. “I think that would work for me just fine.”

“O-oh,” she squeak, face burning. “Oh.”

His lips curl as he looks at her, as he leans close and rumbles, “Wouldn’t that work for you? Watching me touch myself, knowing I’m hard because you look so incredible when you come?”

Her nails scrape against his chest, earning her a hiss that is -- is not helping with the thinking, here.

That -- that might be okay. Seeings a penis not in person, but through a screen. Not that it’s really helped with google, but -- if it was Obi’s, if it was because she --

“Yes.” He twitches hard against her, and she ducks her head, flushed. “I mean, yes, but ...”

“But..?” he hums, too amused.

“I just...” I only there was a way to say these things without actually having to say them, like Obi does. Some innuendo that could make the problem clear without being so -- so obvious. “I’m not very good at, um, being alone. Like that.”

“Oh, really?” The hardness is impossible to ignore now. “Well, we have an entire summer, kid. Plenty of time for practice sets.”

“What, like summer school for m-m---” she grits her teeth--- “touching myself?”

“Why not?” His grin stretched across her temple. “You seem like the sort of girl who likes to get hot for teacher---”

Duchess Prettymane ends that particular vein of conversation.

“What have we said about you being nicer to your friends?” he says, catching Tiny Frog before he can join the pile surrounding Obi’s head. “If that doesn’t float on the motion of your ocean, I could always just get you a...graduation gift.”

For a long moment, she’s only confused; after all, she’s already looked in to getting him one, and it’s not like she was expecting one from him, but it wasn’t out of the realm of --

She catches his grin, the heat in his eye. Oh. Oh. Graduation gift. The kind she would not be opening in front of Grandad and Nanna.

“Obi!”

“What?” His grin is far too attractive, this close. “It would be very thoughtful. I would think very, very hard about what kind you might like--”

“Kind?” she yelps. “I thought there were, you know, just...sizes.”

“Oh, kid.” He bends close, lips brushing over hers. “Can’t start you off with some big dragon dick. Gotta work you up to it.” His hand skims over her hip, leaving a searing trail where each finger touches, lifting her leg to wrap around his waist. “I was thinking of one of those little egg ones, the king that just sit here--”

She whines at his touch, hips bucking against his as two of his fingers brush just over her clit. She came only a few minutes ago, but she’s wet again, hands clutching at his biceps as he moves those fingers just so --

“That,” she gasps, nails digging into his skin. “That might be okay.”

His jaw drops, eyes blowing wide, and --

Well, she loses a few minutes.

“All right,” he huffs, rolling away from her, fingers still slick. “This is definitely becoming a…ah….pressing issue.”

Her heart squeeze in her chest, but when she looks at him, he only gestures to where – where he is hard against his boxers, to a point that looks nearly painful.

“Oh!” She sits up. “Right.”

He gives her a weak smile. “If you would excuse me…”

He brushes past her getting off the bed, and for a moment she nearly stops him, nearly tells him to stay and pull off those jeans, to let her see him for once –

But she just presses her lips together and calls out, “Have fun?”

Obi tosses her a mischievous grin over his shoulder. “Oh, don’t worry, Kid. I plan to.”

[rogerina-deacon]

Bracing For Your Love // Gwilym Lee X Reader

Pairing: Gwilym Lee X Reader Request: Would you be able to write something for either Gwil or joe where the reader deals with chronic pain and they help her feel better? I’ve had to wear a brace for 5 years and it just sucks because everyone thinks I’m making it up and I just wanna cry right now Summary: Getting back from grocery shopping, you were struggling to get comfortable on the couch, and Gwil was eager to try to help. Warnings: None! Just pure fluff Word Count: 994

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting this! As soon as I saw it I started writing it, and I really hope you like it! I personally don’t experience chronic pain, so I really hope this is what you wanted! Feel free to send me a message/ask if you sent this in if you have any feedback, I’d love to hear it! I hope you enjoy!

Sitting on the couch of the flat you shared with your boyfriend Gwil, you couldn’t help but wince and groan as you adjusted, still unable to find the right position for the last five minutes. You tried to be as quiet as you could, not wanting to seem overly-affected by the pains in your back even though the truth was it was practically killing you each time you moved your hip. Gwil was in the kitchen putting away groceries, as he had insisted you go and relax on the couch while he did it. Once he was done, he came to find you on the couch, a pained look on your face and he instantly sat next to you, placing one arm gently around you shoulder, the other across his lap with his hand resting atop yours.

“Love, what’s wrong?” He asked, concern laced throughout his voice as he witnessed you try yet another position, recoiling as you realized this one was no better than the last.

“It-It’s my back, I ca-can’t seem to get comfortable” You hissed as your hands flew to your back.

“Let me make you some tea, bub. How does lavender chamomile with honey sound?”

“Amazing, thank you Gwil.” You sighed as he slowly got up, placing a kiss to your forehead before returning to the kitchen. You tried position after position as the kettle boiled, finally finding the perfect spot as Gwil made his way back to you.

“Bub, why don’t I go get you your brace?” He said as he handed you the mug, his hand resting on your shoulder as he crouched down beside the couch.

“No, Gwil, you know I hate that thing,” You said before taking a sip of tea, which your boyfriend never failed to make perfectly. “It makes me feel like some 12 year old with bad posture.” You pouted, Gwil letting out a chuckle as he brushed the hair out of your face.

“Just cause you don’t have scoliosis doesn’t mean you don’t need it, love. C’mon, from what I’ve witnessed it works.”

“But I’ve already found a good position! Look, it only hurts a little, and it’s bearable!” You said, arms held out as if to say ‘ta-da!’, and Gwil just shook his head lovingly.

“Yes, that may be, but think of how miniscule the pain would be with the brace, bub. We could cuddle, I could hold you, we could be all curled up and watch shitty reality tv on the telle.”

“I would like to cuddle…” You trailed off, weighing your options. On one hand, you could be sat in a weird position with a cup of tea, and have your way. On the other, you could be cuddled up against Gwil, with a cup of tea, feeling loved, but you’d have to wear that damned brace. You figured Gwil was only doing this because he cared about you, wanted you to not have to settle for laying in weird positions in the couch when he could be holding you and showing his love. He hated to see you in pain, especially pain he had no true way of curing, he could only help in giving you your brace and helping you through it. You knew this, and as much as you loved being right, you loved Gwil more, so you simply nodded. His face lit up, and he quickly kissed you before rushing to the bedroom to find it. You sighed, taking a bigger gulp of tea, hoping it would prepare you for the brace, but all it did was burn your throat. He emerged what felt like seconds later, fumbling with it to get it ready to put on you. You got up, wincing through the pain as you waddled towards him across the hardwood floor. Once you reached him, he had figured it out and helped you lift up your shirt just enough for him to put it on, and you hissed at the constriction. Once he was done, he pulled your shirt back over it, and he rubbed circles into your back gently, but enough so you could feel it.

“There, love, now you go get comfortable and I’ll get some popcorn going, yeah?” He asked as he made his way in front of you, his hands cupping your cheeks as his eyes met yours. Nodding your head, he pulled you in for a kiss before returning to the kitchen once more. You made your way back to the couch, and thanks to Gwil you did feel better. Grabbing the remote, you flipped through the channels until you found something bearable, and Gwil appeared almost on command with a bowl of popcorn in hand, tossing pieces into his mouth before plopping down beside you. You grabbed a handful as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, and you settled against his side as he placed a lingering kiss to the top of your forehead. Once you finished chewing you looked up to him, and he was staring right back at you, a smile on his face as he admired you. He was in awe of you, so strong and loving, and he couldn’t believe what you go through and how well you deal with it.

“I love you, Y/N” He said as his eyes gleamed at yours, his brows slightly furrowed as he studied your face.

“I love you too, Gwilym” You said before leaning upwards to kiss him, your hand that wasn’t behind his back moving to rest on his neck as his moved to wrap around your waist.

“You taste like popcorn” He observed once he pulled away, and you giggled at the random statement.

“Yeah, so do you” You said as you pressed your nose against his, your smiles less than an inch away from each others. And you stayed like that for a few minutes, staring into each other’s eyes, basking in each others company as the night went on.

If you liked this, check out my masterlist!

[dreaming-of-seth-blog]

Meant for a Life With You

Chapter 4: Alone Time for the Newlyweds

A/N: This chapter is cute, a little bit of flirting and sass between the two of them. I’m excited for you guys to read the one after this one. Seth will bring Nikki home and its going to get real interesting.

______________________________

Nikki’s point of view:

I wake up not recalling anything. I forget the pain. I forget how my life might be in ruins. For a few moments all is calm and right were it should be. Then I open my eyes. I see my toes sticking up from my cast  that is raised at the end of my bed. The terrible hospital lights send my head pounding. I can’t move my left arm or my body. I’m stiff and feeling trapped. Then I see Seth laying down in the recliner using his jacket as a makeshift blanket. I smile at the sight of him sleeping. He is peaceful looking, with his face so relaxed, all I could do was stare.

“So damn fine,” I say under my breath. My stomach growls and I scan the room for food, not that I can reach for anything without a shooting pain ripping through my whole body. I see a plastic bag on the night stand next to me, I assume it has the food that I sent Seth to get for me last night before I passed out. I also see a stack of magazines and a huge vase with carnations in them, Lisa and Aurora must have got them for me. I smile at how beautiful they are. My stomach growls again.

“Yes, Yes I know baby. Mama’s going to feed you right now.” I pat my stomach and talk to it like a pet. I reach for the remote that's connected to the bed and call the nurse to come help me.

A minute goes by and a nurse walks in. She sees that Seth is sleeping so she comes in carefully.“Hey hun, how ya feeling this morning?” she asks me.

I tell her how I feel and update her on my pain scale. I ask her to help get the things off the nightstand, and I say thank you as she leaves the room. The magazines are all perfect, all the trashiest celebrity gossip ones. My worst habit is knowing too much about celebrities. I couldn’t tell you why, I’m just so addicted to it all. I dig through the bag, he got me a bunch of cookies. I find oreos and my mouth starts to water. I hold in my child like squeal. I start to rip at the the roll of cookies but I can’t get it open. Only having one hand is making it nearly impossible. I’m really just crumpling the wrapper, making the plastic give off a loud sound. I get frustrated and forget there’s a sleeping man next to me. The more frustrated I get, the louder the wrapper gets.

I see Seth shift in the chair and then he sits up causing his jacket to fall to the floor. He looks at me to see what woke him up and chuckles at me.

“Is your healthy breakfast giving you trouble?” He rubs his eyes with the palms of his hands and puts the chair up in the regular position.

“I don’t know if anyone has told you this, but it’s not polite to make fun of the handicapped.”  I continue to struggle with the packaging.

“Give it here cookie monster.” he holds his hand out. I give it to him grumpily.

He opens the roll and I can smell it’s contents from a mile away. He steals one from the pack and gives it back. I fake gasp, “How dare you sir?”

“You can’t just expect me to open a roll of crack and steal one.”

I roll my eyes at him and begin to inhale the cookies one by one. I open and start to flip through the People magazine that he got me. He stands up at stretches, raising his arms up causing his shirt to rise up a little.  “How did you sleep.” I ask him nervously. To resist staring, I bite the inside of my cheek and keep looking at the magazine. Then I remind myself internally  ‘You’re married. Take a look.’, so I look that delicious man up and down once and look back to my magazine. ‘God damn.’

“That chair is probably the worst thing I’ve ever slept on.” I look up and frown at him.

“I’m sorry baby, I’ll ask when we’ll be able to go home. That way we can get you sleeping on something that won’t give you scoliosis.”

He smiles weakly at me, and I can tell I have just reminded him about the whole married thing. “How are you feeling by the way?” He puts on a more serious tone.

“Claustrophobic. The pain is kinda bad but the meds definitely help.” He smirks.

“You keep talking about those damn drugs. I might just need you to hit me with your car so I can get my hands on some of them.”

“I'll be keeping my eye on you next time we're near the street. I'll have to get you one of those backpacks with the leash on it they make for kids.”

“Ok but it has the be a monkey.” I laugh.

There's a brief silence. “Do you want to-uh watch T.V.?” I hold up the remote.

“It depends what you put on.”he smirks.

“So definitely Forensic Files.” I say a little overly excited.

“ Forensic File?” I could hear the judgment in his voice.

“Yes, it's the best show ever made.”

“Oh really?” He crosses his arms.

“Fine judgey, we’ll look what's on and take a vote.” Rolling his eyes he puts the chair in a more comfortable position. We look through the guide and I see a cheesy episode of Star Trek is on, “I vote this one.“

“Agreed.”

I grab the strawberry lemonade he got me but of course I struggle with it. “Oh my sweet knight in shining armor…”  I say almost singing. I bat my lashes and hold out the bottle. “Would you please help out a poor little girl dying of thirst?”

“Of course my lady.” he bows his head to me ever so slightly takes the bottle and opens it with ease.

As he hands it back to me I say “Thank you. And who said chivalry is dead?” He chuckles at my bad joke and I appreciate the effort.

“I love this episode.” He says

“Me too! It's the one where Spock takes the poison flower to the chest to save Kirk. It's just so romantic.” I sigh.

“Romantic?” He looks at me like I'm crazy.

“My favorite thing about this show is the sexual tension between the two of them.” I take a sip of lemonade and he just stares at me with his mouth hanging open. “See my theory is,” I point at the screen, “that captain Kirk is so sexually repressed because of the all that tension between him and Spock, and that’s why he's always falling for whatever women comes near him. But in reality he just want to fuck Spock” I take another sip.

“I think you just single handedly ruined my childhood.” He runs his hands through his hair.

“You're such a drama queen.” I laugh at him.

We watch a few more episodes and it’s around 10am. Dr. Thompson came in and I update him on everything. He told us that I would be able to leave in three days. I was shocked it was so soon.

I notice that Seth is in a dress shirt, slacks, and dress shoes. He looks so damn good in all black, but I start to feel bad, “When Aurora and Elle get here, you can go get more comfy clothes from home if you want, they can keep me company for a little.”

“Yeah and get my own blanket so I don’t have to use my jacket. Again”

“I felt so bad when I saw you this morning. I want to pull you on the bed a cuddle you.” I hear the door start to open and I wink at him.

My girls walk into my room with a bundle of goodies that make me forget about the pain. Lisa has balloons in one hand and beautiful arrangement of flowers in her other, with one of my duffle bags hanging from her shoulder. Aurora is carrying my pillow and my favorite blanket along with a plastic bag from the grocery store.

“How you feeling bubs?” Aurora asks using my favorite pet name.

“Getting better as the day goes on.” They both set everything down on the table by the door and walk over to the foot of my bed

“That’s good. Did you ask the doctor when you get to leave?” Lisa pulls a chair up while asking.

“Three days. My doctor told me it was just because of the ribs and the head trauma. They don’t want me to poke a hole in one of my lung or have me not be here if  my brain starts to  bleed.”

“That sounds scary.” Aurora says.

“It is.” I whimper. I turn my head so they can’t see my face. I wipe away a few tears. I can feel all three of them looking at me like a hurt puppy. “Uh you should uh… put the flowers you those with the other ones you got me.” Seth grabs my hand as I quickly try to change the subject.

“These ones are from us.”Aurora picks up the new vase and brings it over to the night stand with the other flowers. “Those ones are not.” Lisa smiles at me and motions with her eyes to Seth.

“You remembered my favorite.” I smile at the red carnations then back at him. I can feel the devil’s horns growing from the top of my head.

“How could I forget?” He squeezes my hand.

“They’re so perfect.” I smile at him. “And thank you guys so much for the balloons and flowers.” I say still looking at him.

“Why don’t I give you ladies some alone time while I go pick up some stuff from the house.”

“Are we scaring you off?” Lisa asks while rummaging through the plastic bag they brought.    

“No, no I’m just a little over dressed for the hospital.” He stands up and looks for his jacket. “Does anyone want anything while I’m out. Coffee? Breakfast? More sweets?” He gives me a amazing smile that gives me the chills.

We make our requests but before he leaves Seth does something very unexpected. I’m left  in complete shock as he brushes some of my wild baby hairs away from my face so he can kisses my forehead.

We say our goodbyes and he starts to walks to the door. All I can manage to do is stare at Arora and Lisa.

They stare at me with their mouths hanging open. “Di-did that just happen?” my voice shakes.

They both just nod still staring wide eyed. They look to each other and back at me. “You sneaky bitch, you already have that man falling for you.” Lisa smirks and an overwhelming feeling of warmth overcomes my entire chest.

Masterlist

[archerwindsor]

Roll Up, Roll Up: Here’s Why Everyone Should Be Foam Rolling, Starting Right Now

Foam rolling is everywhere. Athletes and fitness enthusiasts don’t leave the gym without it.

But why? It hurts.

Well, let’s see:

It’s claimed to stop your muscles from feeling sore

It increases the range of movement in your joints

It helps your flexibility

It’s a good warm up

It loosens you up

It can even get that niggling crack in your back

Is it just another fad? Does it even work? If it does work, why? The explanations for why foam rolling works can range from squeezing the lactic acid out of your muscles to lazy PTs proclaiming, “it just works”.

So, what is really happening when I foam roll?

One of the leading ideas is ‘myofascial release’, or the release of muscle ‘fascia’. This is also the leading theory on what massages are do too.

Fascia is a thin, almost see-through, layer of connective tissue made of collagen and elastin. It surrounds every muscle fibre, organ, nerve fibre, and bone in your body. A bit like a spider web.

In your muscles, fascia is wrapped around every cell and fibre. Fascia helps to give your muscles shape, it attaches tendons to bones and keeps them together. Without fascia you couldn’t run, jump, climb, swim, cycle, or even breathe.

The purpose of fascia is much more than just for structural support. It’s a vital part of your body for all kinds of metabolic functions. Fascia itself is actually quite firm and inflexible – which contributes toward making your muscles feel stiff and tight.

Fascia is believed to sometimes become a bit tangled, forming “adhesions”. Ideally, your muscle fibres would all slide beside each other, silkily smooth. But if they’re getting tangled, that will definitely make you feel stiff, tight, and sore.

Adhesions can form for all kinds of reasons:

You can get them from working out too much or in the wrong way or, sometimes, even not at all. You can get them from injuries, illnesses, and trauma.

What’s important is how you get rid of these fascia-tangles. And that’s why you foam roll.

Fascial release

Foam rolling is believed to untangle fascia and loosen up adhesions, when the fascia moves again your muscles become limber and malleable. At least, that’s the theory.

The jury has been out, as far as the science goes for the past decade or so, over whether foam rolling itself really does loosen up fascia. Or even really help in any way at all.

While sports professionals and athletes have been raving about how great foam rolling is, science has had to catch-up on whether foam rolling truly does bring any benefits. If it does, why? No-one really knew.

The fascia thing was a good guess – and it could have all just been an elaborate rouse to get people to buy some foam cylinders. But, today, science is catching up.

There is now a wealth of scientific literature investigating foam rolling.

What the science says about foam rolling

A study by Allison N Schroeder et. al., at the University of Ohio, conducted a fantastic literature review on “Self Myofasical Release”.

It looked into the effectiveness of foam rolling as a pre-exercise and recovery strategy. In most of the literature they reviewed, evidence pointed toward foam rolling before exercise as bringing an increased range of movement. Great news.

This makes sense. Only one article out of nine found no change in range of movement. This gives strong evidence that foam rolling relieves adhesions between fascia layers to give that greater range of motion.

The researchers also found two studies indicating that foam rolling increased vertical jump height and maximum muscle force output. There was an indication that performance benefits are duration dependent. However, others showed no change in muscle performance.

Where there was evidence for increased muscle performance it was noted that there was no increase in muscle contraction. This indicated that the foam rolling is reducing neural inhibition giving better communication from receptors in the fascia to the muscle.

All of the researcher’s reviewed articles found that foam rolling decreased muscle soreness and fatigue after exercise. One of the articles even indicated that foam rolling could improve arterial function.

Lactic acid release in foam rolling is friendly

Some say foam rolling could be “ergogenic”, meaning the release of lactic acid could actually improve performance during exercise. A study by L. B. Gladden in The Journal of Physiology backs this up, stating that it’s an important part of many metabolic processes.

It also shows that it’s an “important intermediate in the process of wound repair and regeneration”.

For years, lactic acid (or lactate as it becomes) has been considered a criminal in our body’s processes. Recent scientific discussions have been defending lactic acid and lactate, attempting to encourage the scientific community to reconsider that it’s actually a friend and doesn’t cause us pain.

To really drive this home, lactic acid levels in muscles have been shown to return to pre-execise amounts within 60 minutes after exercise. Not much of a problem if it goes away within an hour.

Planking vs. foam rolling

A study carried out at the University of Rhode Island compared the effect of planking or foam rolling before exercise on post-exercise fatigue. Kellie found that fatigue after exercise was significantly less with foam rolling than when participants had planked.

Interestingly, this study also noted that neither planking or foam rolling brought about any significant difference in their performance during exercise. They were in agreement with Schroeder.

Better range of movement

This study also found evidence to support Schroeder. It found that, after foam rolling, the participants had significantly greater range of movement and no decrease in muscle performance.

Adding more fuel to the fire, this group of researchers found that using a “roller massager” on your quadriceps increases the range of motion of your knee-joint. The study looked at “roller massaging” for different lengths of time: 20 seconds and 60 seconds. As you might imagine, “roller massaging” for longer gives you an even better improvement in your range of movement.

It’s been shown to help medical conditions

A study carried out in Spain showed foam rolling significantly improved Fibromyalgia symptoms in participants, making for an excellent complimentary therapy. A study at Elon University found that myofascial release treatments helped improve an 18-year old female’s idiopathic scoliosis. She found she was in less pain, had more mobility, better posture, lung function, and quality of life.

Another study at the University of Miami found myofascial release alleviated symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritus and collagenous colitis. A 54-year old woman presented symptoms of both conditions and received myofascial release massages six times, over two weeks. Her symptoms improved.

She maintained her improvements for five weeks until her symptoms returned. After another two treatments, her symptoms improved again. Convinced?

The type of roller matters

The type of foam roller you choose is important too. Of course, I’ve found a study to back this up, where researchers compared the difference in pressure exerted on soft tissue by different foam rollers.

One had a rigid plastic pipe core and the other had a foam core. They found, as you might imagine, that the rigid pipe roller exerted the most pressure on soft tissues. As well as exerting less pressure, rollers with a foam core also have a tendency to warp and deform making them quite difficult to use.

So, it might hurt more, but better to invest in something more solid.

What does this all mean?

From the studies we’ve looked at, we can say this:

Lactic acid is not an issue. That problem is a myth.

There is strong evidence that foam rolling relives “adhesions” in fascia layers.

It’s unclear if foam rolling improves muscular function, but evidence points to foam rolling reducing inhibition in muscles.

If there are any performance improvements, they don’t seem to last very long.

It possibly improves arterial function.

It does improve range of movement in joints, improving your flexibility.

Foam rolling could improve symptoms of some medical conditions.

Taking more time to roll gives better results.

Rigid rollers are best.

The jury can come back in.

After years of science being unsure about foam rolling, we have our answers. The evidence is quite clear that there are plenty of benefits to foam rolling.

Whether foam rolling really does untangle fascia is still not definite. But as to why you should go buy yourself a roller right away?

Foam rolling will give you an increased range of motion in your joints, you won’t be as sore after a workout, you won’t feel as fatigued.

Foam rolling probably doesn’t improve your muscle performance, as such, but it does seem to decrease inhibition in your muscles, which makes it easier to perform. You might find that you’re generally just in better health if you foam roll regularly.

So – use a foam roller. Do it often. Take your time over it. And you’ll never look back.

Want to read more like this? Check out the rest of the blog or my site, Home Sweet Gym, where I talk about how to exercise from the comfort of your own home.

The post Roll Up, Roll Up: Here’s Why Everyone Should Be Foam Rolling, Starting Right Now appeared first on Food For Fitness.

Roll Up, Roll Up: Here’s Why Everyone Should Be Foam Rolling, Starting Right Now published first on https://olimpsportnutritionuk.tumblr.com/

[strapcats]

Thicker Than Water (Part 5)

↬ Genre: Gang au, angst, drama, eventual fluff

↬ Pairing: Jeongin x Chan

↬ Word Count: 3,004

↬ Description: Dépaysement- (n.) When someone is taken out of their own familiar world and pushed into a new one.

–

Yang Jeongin is a young Busan runaway with a sharp tongue.

Bang Chan is the easily-offended leader of a crime syndicate.

Read on Wattpad // Read on Archive

Part(s) One, Two, Three, Four, Five

Chapter Five

“Harder Jeongin!” Felix yelled at the younger boy who was sweating furiously in front of him. The older male was holding a large punching bag that was attached to the ceiling, keeping it in place. The goal was for Jeongin to punch hard enough for Felix to be physically moved by the force, but currently Jeongin wasn’t punching hard enough to even shake the punching bag, let alone knock Felix off of his feet. The white haired boy was getting bored and was gradually becoming more disappointed in the trainee.

His training had been rough for the past couple of months, with a lot of ups and downs. Jeongin would excel at certain aspects of gang life, like stealth and agility, but when it comes to actual strength and combat he was lacking. Felix knew that every member of the syndicate needed to be not just good, but incredible at every aspect of gang life, but Jeongin was doing anything but. He was still acting like a child, complaining about the bruises on his knuckles, asking for better living accomodations, it was getting on Felix’s nerves. Chan had been almost MIA since Jeongin arrived, only showing his face at meals and occasionally in the hallways coming in and out of his office. For the past week, no one had seen or heard from him, not even Woojin. However, they all knew he was there and alive, because the atmosphere would be different if he wasn’t. It confused every member, but it angered Jeongin.

Jeongin wanted BC to see his progress, see how much he was growing and becoming like the other members, because he wanted to prove that the syndicate needed him, that he wasn’t just being forced into the gang life (even though he was). His mind was filled with feeling that were holding him back from showing his best and giving his all for Felix. He was starting to feel attached to the older male, and he hated it. He needed to be like Chan, he needed to block out emotions.

The door to the makeshift gym screeched open, and Felix glanced over, expecting Changbin. Jeongin expected as much as well, so he kept punching weakly at the bag hanging in front of him. He was tired and he didn’t feel the need to give his best at this point. Felix’s eyes caught sight of the new man in the room and nodded slightly in regard. Jeongin found this odd and stopped his feeble movements for a moment to look towards the sheet metal door. Leaning against the doorway was BC, staring harshly at the pair in the corner. His head was tilted downwards a bit and his dark chocolate eyes seemed to pierce through Jeongin’s body. They were lit up like a forest fire in the bright morning sunlight that filtered in through the high windows in the room. His black hair was nearly glimmering, the part in it a little off-center and opening up his features and the individual strands were perfectly styled back in order to do exactly what Jeongin was noticing.

The young boy filled with rage and nearly ran up to his leader to punch him, but then decided against it in a split second of impulse control. Instead he locked eyes with the black-haired man and punched the bag Felix was holding with the strength of a thousand suns in one fist. The bag shuddered backwards and hit Felix’s body with full force. The white-haired boy ended up on the ground, the duct tape that was used as feeble repair on the bag split, and the object was swinging violently on it’s short chains. Jeongin thought he saw Chan’s eyebrows raise for a moment, but when he blinked he saw he was mistaken. The leader had the same blank, menacing gaze as he did before, still locking his stare with Jeongin’s. The younger steadied the bag with his hand and then walked out of the room, never once breaking eye contact with Chan until he was walking past him when he turned his head away in spite of the older man. Felix had no idea what just happened, he jumped up to follow after the angsty young man.

Chan put an arm out to block Felix’s path. “Clean up in here and get yourself some food. I’ll talk to the kid.” BC spoke with purpose as he dropped his arm and turned out the door to leave. Felix murmured a ‘yes sir’ and then walked back into the room to clean up the various things that were scattered around from Jeongin’s training. Chan walked around the corner to see Jisung and Changbin talking on the couch, with Minho sitting on the kitchen island adding into their conversation occasionally. The chatter stopped abruptly once the talking boys realized Chan’s presence, his appearance surprising the trio. Chan rolled his eyes and continued to his destination; Jeongin’s room.

The youngest member sat on the ground in his room, the space having a few more objects in it than it did before. There was now a shitty thrifted alarm clock, a fuzzy throw blanket, a small lamp with a ripped shade, and a couple of thin books next to the lamp. There was no furniture, everything was on the ground and the young boy didn’t even have a mat to sleep on. He was sure he’d have scoliosis or something because of sleeping on cement for over two months, but he had no other options. He had closed his door all the way, a sign in the syndicate of not wanting to be bothered, as the doors were normally left open a little bit. Chan turned the handle down and entered Jeongin’s threshold, the tension becoming so thick one could cut it with a knife.

Jeongin sat on the ground cross-legged with his blanket underneath him to provide a barrier for the cold cement. He was undoing the wraps that thinly covered the knuckles on his hands, trembling as he did so from the force of the punch he had thrown just minutes ago. Chan closed the door all the way behind him and sat down across from the boy. He reached out and stopped Jeongin’s shaking hands from moving anymore, holding them with his own calloused palms. The younger boy in front of him tensed up significantly and thoroughly disliked the situation, but he didn’t do anything against it. Chan then resumed the task Jeongin was just struggling to do and slowly unwrapped the cloth strips from Jeongin’s bruised hands. It was very dirty and the white color that they once were had turning into an uneven grayish-brown, but the most concerning feature was the significant amount of dried blood on the wraps.

The cloth stuck to Jeongin’s skin like tape, so when it got down to tha last layer Chan was forced to peel back forming scabs on Jeongin’s knuckles. Jeongin hadn’t said a word to the older male, not knowing what to say.

“This is gonna hurt, okay fox?” The nickname of ‘Desert fox’ rolled off his tongue smoothly and caused Jeongin to widen his eyes a little. He had been given the nickname by Felix a couple weeks after he came to the syndicate, and it stuck with the other members, but he didn’t think Chan knew about it. Chan spoke without looking up at Jeongin and without any empathy in his voice, yet it still strangely comforted the younger black-haired boy. He nodded hesitantly before the last strips of cloth were removed from his hands, causing the wound son his knuckles to bleed. Chan reached into a pocket on his jacket and pulled out gauze and medical tape, patching up the smaller boy sitting across from him.

“Thanks BC.” Jeongin murmured quietly, still not looking up from the ground. Chan sighed and backed up a little bit before quickly shooting his hand out and grabbing Jeongin’s chin, squishing his cheeks a bit in the bout of aggression. Jeongin flinched and inhaled sharply as his eyes met BC’s once again, the older’s eyes steady on his but Jeongin’s flicking back and forth between the two eyes, not knowing which on to pick. The boy’s faces were painfully close, Jeongin could feel Chan’s breath on his nose.

“If you have something to say, Jeongin, fucking say it. Tell me what’s on your mind, if you don’t, you won’t survive a week once things get active again. Speak.” Chan spit his words quietly aat Jeongin, making the young boy fill with rage once again. He shoved the older male away from him and stood up so he was above Chan.

“Who are you to talk?! You’ve been MIA since I got here, you shove me onto Felix because you can’t be bothered to clean up the mess you made for yourself! I’ve been working my ass off training while you did what? Sat in your office and admired your pretty guns for two months? I’ve become something you wanted me to be just so I can be a fucking pawn in your stupid game of crime. I know I’m expendable to you, so why are you making Felix do so much work that’s going to go to waste? Why are you pushing me so hard?” Jeongin ranted his thoughts into the room, his eyes pricking with tears of frustration that he wanted to go away. He didn’t feel the need to cry but the whirlwind of emotions swirling around in his brain were causing the primitive response to occur.  He wiped his eyes furiously and looked down at the cement floor again. Then he sighed and forced himself to look up and meet Chan’s dead, hooded gaze, trying once again to mimic the older’s emotionless state.

“Tch, who knew you would be such a brat, Yang?” After a beat, Chan scoffed and broke the eye contact for the first time. He was now the one looking at the ground, causing a strange shift in the atmosphere.

“You’re not worth my time if you’re going to complain like a child. So I’m giving you one more week and then you’re gone. Prove yourself to be invaluable by then and I won’t put you back where Felix found you.” Chan stood up and threw the wraps that were once on Jeongin’s hand onto the ground dramatically. He looked at Jeongin once more before pulling open the metal door and letting it screech shut after he had left. The young man was left alone in his cement block and he felt like kicking something. So he followed after the man who just walked out of his room and kicked him square in the back as he reached the open end of the bedroom hallway.

BC fell onto the cold cement, pushing himself up quickly and touching his face to feel a small trickle of blood coming out of a cut on his cheek. He turned to see Jeongin fuming and breathing heavily from adrenaline. “You’re not worth my time if you choose to treat me like dirt! I’m done!” Jeongin spat aggressively at the taller male, then shoulder checked him as he walked by to the warehouse door. Changbin started to get up to stop the younger boy, but Chan motioned for him to sit back down. Jeongin ripped open the door and slammed it behind him, not looking back once. Chan chuckled.

Jeongin stepped out into the late winter sun, there were small drifts of snow melting off the last snow of the season, most likely. Jeongin kicked a bit of it, then screamed at the top of his lungs out of frustration. He didn’t leave his Busan hell-hole to get thrown into a situation that was just as bad. He either wanted to be treated with respect or he wanted out. He heard the warehouse door screech open and he rolled his eyes and turned to the new person, but to his surprise, he was greeted with the kind face of Seungmin.

“I know it can get really infuriating sometimes. It took me almost a year to gain any sort of respect from other members besides Chan, though it seems you’re in the opposite situation…” Seungmin trailed off, failing at trying to comfort Jeongin.

“But! My point is that I know Jisung, Woojin, and I are backing you up 100%. Even though Chan is, how you said, treating you like dirt, he’ll come around. He took you in for a reason, and you were unaware enough when you came here that he could’ve turned you loose without any problems. He didn’t though, which means he does want you here. My guess is he wants to put you under pressure to get the best out of you.” Seungmin spoke more clearly after collecting his thoughts for a moment. Jeongin nodded as he drew lines in the wet dirt with his shoe, feeling embarrassed for the scene he had caused. Seungmin understood him, they were the closest in age. The pair walked slowly back to the door after a couple of minutes of silence for Jeongin to catch his breath and they entered the bleak building once again.

“Welcome back, drama queen! Did you have a nice temper tantrum?” Felix was the first one to speak, Jeongin looked down to the ground in shame and he felt Seungmin’s hand wrap around his own in comfort. It helped. Seungmin shot a death glare at Felix, before tapping Jeongin’s shoulder and silently checking with him if it was okay for him to leave. Jeongin nodded, and off Seungmin went.

Felix came up and smacked the back of Jeongin’s head in a brotherly way after Seungmin was out of sight. “I know he can get pretty intolerable sometimes, but violence is definitely not the answer with him. It must sound weird coming from a gang member, but I’m serious. Don’t do something like that again, got it? You need to learn how to control that temper of yours and put it to better use than kicking Chan in the back.” Felix explained and then joked with the young black-haired male, and Jeongin chuckled before nodding. Felix let go of him and wandered off to his room, leaving Jeongin alone in the main area of the warehouse. He sat on the couch and let his head fall back onto the back of the seat, closing his eyes and sighing heavily. He didn’t want to be punished, but he knew he deserved it and that a pretty bad one would be coming to him soon.

After an unmeasurable amount of time, Jeongin lifted his head and looked to his right only to see Bang Chan doing exactly what he was doing moments earlier. Jeongin flinched and scooted farther away from the leader, afraid of the punishment he would receive. BC felt the younger’s movement and lifted his head slowly before stretching his arms. He opened his eyes and looked at Jeongin, tilting his head to the side a bit and smiling softly.

“I never nap, but I saw you asleep out here and I thought it looked like a good idea!” Chan spoke in a strangely cheery manner, creeping Jeongin out a bit. Jeongin crinkled his eyebrows a little and Chan realized what he was expecting.

“Right. You humiliated me in front of most of my men, even after I helped you with your wraps and your hands. Because of this, I decided that I’m going to take over your training from now on.” Chan spoke, never once moving his gaze from Jeongin’s worried face. The younger boy gulped. He didn’t want Chan to take over his training, Felix was much nicer, much more tolerable, and actually cared about his well-being. He thought Chan didn’t, which meant he was planning on pushing Jeongin to the point of breakdown. He sighed at the thought but nodded in agreement nonetheless, he knew he couldn’t fight it, not after the stunt he pulled earlier.

“Also, you need to apologize to me, in front on everyone at dinner tomorrow, traditional style. Got it?” Chan spoke his finals words as he stood up from the couch and Jeongin reluctantly nodded again. He knew he’d be humiliated, and that because he’d be embarrassed he’d probably snap again, but that was a problem for the future. He knew he needed to keep his tongue in control from now on, though he also knew it would be a much easier task said than done.

“Oh and one last thing,” Chan said, turning around quickly and raising a finger to his scraped cheek. “You need to tend to this right now.” He tapped his own face lightly, meaning the scrape Jeongin had caused. The younger rolled his eyes. Now he’s just milking me for services… Jeongin thought as we went to Woojin’s medical station to get a bandage and some zinc repair gel. He came back and sat next to BC on the couch, having to lean over most of his body to apply the treatment gel correctly. Chan winced quietly at the sting of the treatment, and it almost made Jeongin smile, but instead he opened the bandage package and placed it on his superior’s face, tapping it gently to make sure the adhesive was sticking properly. Time seemed to slow momentarily, as Jeongin looked down and realized the position the pair were in at the moment. His cheeks lit up with blush, and he pulled away quickly from his leader, staring directly at the ground to avoid any kind of contact with the older.

“Thank you fox, now get some food and get to bed, You’ll need all your rest for tomorrow's training. See you at 6.” Chan spoke as he shrugged his jacket back onto his shoulders and disappeared down the bedroom hallway. Jeongin let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding as soon as he heard BC’s bedroom door close, and then began to dread the next morning.