#bachman evil bong

[soup-the-zombie]

We watched evil bong in the discord

Boyfriends wef it was good 🥱

Also ignore the quality I drew this in like 10 minutes

[goingnearlyinsane]

Speaking of Bachman…

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

SUMMARY: Straight-laced nerd Alistair moves into a college dorm with hardcore marijuana users Brett, Larnell, and Bachman. Larnell orders an old giant bong that proves to have strange magical powers. When smoked said bong sends a person to a bizarre drugged-out alternate realm from which there is no easy escape.

[zombulous]

Dude i love bachman evil bong

Im so

Gggrgrgrgrggr

[esperwatchesfilms]

Evil Bong (2006)

ESE: 60/100

50 -10 for picking on Alistair +5 for Bachman  -10 for using “queer” as a slur +5 for haunted bongs +5 for Super Marioworld +10 for titties +5 for Phil Fondacaro +5 for hilarious mean grandpa +5 for Gingerdead Man cameo +5 for shark boobs (not boobs on sharks. Shark heads on boobs) -20 for how bizarre Luann got after smoking (mainly the weird pogo stick thing) -10 for F-slur +10 for Tommy Chong +10 for Bill Moseley -10 for Jimbo dying +5 for Jimbo living on in bong world, playing with hot wheels and strippers

[yesterdanereviews]

Evil Bong (2006)

Film review #420

Director: Charles Band

SYNOPSIS: Alistair McDowell rents a room with Larnell, Bachman and Brett, three other college students, who are obsessed with smoking weed. Larnell orders a large bong online that apparently is possessed, and the three roommates (excluding Alistair) enjoy it’s benefits. However, things take a dark turn as the bong starts killing them off one by one after they smoke from it and are taken into the “bong world” where the spirit of the evil bong has total control, and enacts a deadly plan to turn the world into eternal stoners...

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Evil Bong is a 2006 comedy horror. The film starts out with a college student named Alistair McDowell going to rent a room with three other students, all of whom continually smoke weed (while Alistair never does, he is not opposed to them doing it). With Alistair’s rent money, Larnell, one of the other students, now says he has enough money to buy an extravagant bong he has found online. There is a warning from the previous owner that the bong is possessed, but that doesn’t stop Larnell from purchasing it. When it arrives, the three (excluding Alistair partake in smoking from it. Later that night, Bachman hears the bong calling him and when he smokes it, is transported into the “bong world” where the bong has the power of illusion and kills Bachman. The remaining roommates notice that he is dead in the morning and attempt to hide his body when Larnell’s grandfather pays a visit. As the film progresses, the rest of the cast are sucked into the bong world as the evil bong grows more powerful, leaving Alistair to enter the bong world himself in order to defeat it. The plot of the film is rather minimal: there’s an evil bong that kills people when they smoke from it. That’s the movie. One of the key things about this film is that it’s more than likely aimed at people who are already high when they are watching this, so they aren’t going to really be able to follow an intricate story. With that in mind, the film just needs to have a few cheap laughs and some surreal imagery and I suppose it does that in the most minimal way possible, with some unoriginal funny lines that may get a chuckle because they always do no matter where they’re used, but again, anything more complex probably isn’t going to get the audience’s attention.

The characters are all pretty bland, with their personality consisting of exactly one trait. Alistair is the straight-laced nerd, Larnell is a typical stoner, Brett is a jock, and Bachman is a “surfer dude.” They have no personality outside of these tropes. You can quite easily swap around the latter three and it would have no effect on the story, as each of their “unique” personalities contributes to about one joke each in the entire film. Some other minor characters include Larnell’s grandfather, whose one extended scene adds nothing to the film, and also the evil bong’s former owner, played by Tommy Chong (look him up if you don’t know who he is). There’s also a fair few cameos from characters from other films made by the same production company, but I didn’t recognise any of them because I haven’t seen any of the movies. The only one I have seen is the Trancers series, from which Jack Deth makes a brief cameo, but I didn’t recognise him, and I’m not sure anyone would since the Trancers series is hardly a keystone of film history (despite their being six films in the series). The evil bong herself is an animatronic face with limited movement (the lips definitely don’t sync to the words she says), and it’s a bit trippy, but nothing amazing.

I’m going to assume that this film had no budget, as the entirety of the film takes place in the roommates apartment. The various characters come in and out, but most of the time it’s just the four main guys bantering or smoking weed. The only other location in the film is the “bong world” where everyone goes after they have inhaled from the bong. This world is apparently a strip club where the bong has the powers to create illusions and kill those who are trapped there. It’s a fairly drab and dark setting so you can’t really see what’s going on, but undoubtedly viewers will be more focused on the semi-nudity in these scenes anyway. There’s some surreal-ish imagery that accompanies these scenes with marijuana leaves flying around the screen and a hazy border around the film, but it’s hardly psychedelic and mind-bending...unless you’re already high I suppose. Overall, Evil Bong is a pretty stupid film, but it knows it and doesn’t try to be anything else. It’s obviously intended as a film to get high and watch, so there’s nothing remotely complicated, and also nothing to really make sense of. 

[voiider]

No weed on earth can kill Bachman

Evil Bong (2006)

[big-bad-shorty-king]

I can explain this but I don’t feel like it rn

Larnell - Lust

Cyril - Greed

Bachman - sloth

Rabbit - pride

Brett - Gluttony

Evil Bong - envy

Luann - Wrath

Watching Evil Bong 2

[yesterdanereviews]

Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong (2011)

Film review #423

Director: Charles Band

SYNOPSIS: A strange meteorite crashes onto earth, and a man discovers a bong inside of it. Meanwhile, Alistair McDowell finds it later on alongside his old buddy Larnell, and when the bong coincidentally is bought by their old roommates Brett and Bachman, the group must again stop an evil talking bong from trying to take over the world...

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Evil Bong 3D: The Wrath of Bong is a 2011 comedy horror film and the third film in the Evil Bong series. The film opens up randomly with a man burying his wife in the woods after he seemingly killed her. This plays no part in the story other than this opening scene. As he is walking home, he finds a meteorite that has crashed to Earth, and inside is surprisingly a bong. Later on, Alistair McDowell, the protagonist of the previous films, now working for the Space Institute, finds the meteor and undertakes an analysis. He runs into his old friend Larnell, who remarks he didn’t recognise him (a reference to his recasting, which was also done in the second film), and explains he has been training with a “ninja master,” and as usual is knee-deep in conspiracy theories. Meanwhile, Brett and Bachman, now running a weed shop, buy the mysterious space bong off the old man that found it in the meteorite, and find that it is once again an evil bong that wants to take over the world. The story is practically identical to the previous films: an evil talking bong is trying to take over the world, and anyone that smokes from it is taken into the inner “bong world” where the bong tricks it’s victims with illusions. The remaining cast must venture into the bong world to rescue their friends and defeat the bong. Simple stuff, but it has to be simple when you’re a film that’s designed for people to watch when high. Being the third film in the franchise (not since Attack of the Killer Tomatoes has a film franchise been so unnecessary), there’s actually evil bong lore that the film dives into which establishes continuity between the films, but as I said, you’re not going to be too focused on the plot when watching this.

The cast is made mostly up of characters from previous films, which provides a sense of continuity, even though it’s not necessary. Alistair, Larnell, Brett and Bachman are the same guys from the previous films, and nothing has changed much for them. Rabbit, the delivery guy who for some reason seems to have become a main character, is now a priest, and Larnell’s grandfather, now calling himself Dr. Weed, is fully converted to supporting marijuana after his escapades in the jungle in the previous film. And of course, the original evil bong herself turns up to offer advice on defeating the new space bong, with her usual sassy attitude. The expanded cast means there’s a bit of variety between their different perspectives, but there’s no stand-out performances of character developments.

The main problem with this film is it is almost exactly the same film as it’s predecessors, without adding anything new to proceedings. The effects are a bit better, and there’s more than two sets unlike the previous films, but there is so much time spent on the characters standing around talking that it becomes a bore. When characters start trying to explain their motivations it becomes difficult to follow, and there’s always a feeling of it simply not mattering whether you know their motivations or not. Ideally, the film should be breaking up this dialogue with some funny one-liners or jokes, but there’s barely any of that. The bong only really becomes the focus of the last act of the film, which under-utilises the main draw of the film. Despite all this, I think this one still improves on the second one just because of there being more than two locations, and the lore of the evil bong series starts to give the characters and ideas a bit more substance. The acting is still flat, and the budget is still low, but it’s still going to appeal to it’s target audience with plenty of weed smoking, ridiculous voice-overs, and partial nudity. 

[yesterdanereviews]

Evil Bong 2: King Bong (2009)

Film review #421

Director: Charles Band

SYNOPSIS: Alistair McDowell visits his three former roommates after one of them tells him they’ve all had strange things happening to them. Alistair surmises that they are all suffering from side effects of smoking from the evil bong that they previously destroyed when it attempted to steal their souls. They contact the delivery man who delivered the bong, who tells them that the bong originated from a tribe located in the Amazon, and so the group head into the rainforest to find answers and try to cure themselves from the side-effects which have afflicted them...

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Evil Bong 2: King Bong is a 2009 comedy horror film and the sequel to the 2006 film Evil Bong. The film starts off with Alistair visiting Larnell at his new apartment. Larnell remarks that he hardly recognises Alistair; a sly reference to the fact that it is a different actor playing him than the first film. The reason Larnell called Alistair over is that he and his roommates have all been afflicted by strange changes: Larnell’s libido has gone into overdrive, Bachman has developed narcolepsy, and Brett has become morbidly obese, adding strain to his relationship with his girlfriend. Alistair guesses that it must be a side-effect of them smoking from the evil bong of the first film, and tries to learn more about it. The only lead they have is the delivery guy who delivered the bong, who they arrange to come round. He tells them the stories that he himself was told when he picked up the package about how the owner picked it up when he was serving in the Amazon with the peace corps. With this in mind, the group (including the delivery guy for some reason), head to the Amazon to find the tribe and get some answers. As with the first film, the film’s plot is fairly simple. Most probably because this is designed to be a film that you watch while smoking weed yourself. There’s more of a plot than the previous film though, and everything is simple enough to follow, so that’s a plus. 

The group arrive in the Amazon where they meet a scientist who has discovered a new type of marijuana that has extraordinary medical properties. When the group smoke this, they are cured of the afflictions of the evil bong. However, another of the scientist’s plans to use the new weed to sell it on the streets and become rich. He reforms the evil bong from the first film with the fragments that Larnell saved, and encounters the tribe alongside a more powerful bong called King Bong. When this new bong takes the delivery guy into his inner realm, the group decide to go and save him, with the original evil bong supporting them (apparently she is King Bong’s ex; don’t ask me how bong relationships work...). The climax is pretty similar to the first film, with the group venturing into the inner bong world where people are tricked by illusions that the bong creates. There’s nothing too spectacular about the finale, and it is resolved in the way you’d expect. The characters are pretty much the same from the first film, and the new characters add very little outside of the typical roles they fill.

Like the first film, the budget for this film is spectacularly minimal, but it does do a bit more than it’s predecessor by doubling the amount of settings from two to about four. The “Amazon” is clearly just some woods, and the bong world has nothing remarkable about it. I think the film flows better than the original, and has a few more laughs, but overall any improvements are minor. It’s not any worse, but not too much better. Like the first, you’re only going to find some value in this if you’re already high and can ‘enjoy’ the imagery and simple gags that won’t go over your head. Overall, Evil Bong 2 is a mild trip that is slightly better than the original, but still doesn’t live up to the ridiculousness of the premise that the title provides.