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babymetaldoll · 3 years ago

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Danger Days - Chapter twenty-four: "I could honestly say that things can only get better"

Word count: 8,1K

Summary: Our couple deserves a happy ending. You've been invited to Matthew and Joey's wedding. Enjoy!!

Warnings: Hardcore fluff

A/N: thank you SO MUCH for reading this story, for your comments, and for enjoying this weird mix. I'm pretty sure it's the only MCR x MGG fanfic out there, so thank you for your support!! I love you all so much!!

Masterlist

::: Los Angeles, April 30th, 2011 :::

17:30 pm

Mercedes was nearly crying, sitting on Joey's bed, staring at her daughter in her wedding dress.

- "Can you tell I'm pregnant?"- she asked her mother and bit her lips, honestly concerned- "I mean, everybody knows, I just don't wanna look like a fucking whale."

- "Mami, you look like a princess! And my little baby granddaughter is just making you glow even more!!"- Mrs. Sigmundsson wiped off the tears from her cheeks and smiled- "Let me take another picture."

- "No! Mom! Enough!"- Joey chuckled and turned to the mirror again. She didn't remember when was the last time she had been so self-conscious of how she looked. Probably on one of her first dates with Matthew.

- "Ok, bride!"- Jamia said as she walked in with the rest of the bridesmaids, Paget, Laura (Matthew's sister), and Tabitha- "Everything is set! Are you ready to get married?"

The girl in the wedding dress froze. She felt the cold chill down her spine as she stood still in the middle of the room, not able to move a muscle at the sound of those words.

Joey was about to get married. She was about to be Mrs. Gubler. And though the idea excited her more than anything, it also scared her to the bones. The uncertainty of the future. Was Matthew going to cheat again? Were they going to be happy? Was she going to be a good wife? Were they going to be good parents? It was a huge commitment. Was it the right decision?

- "No, no, no"- Mercedes walked to her quickly, cupping her face sweetly- "Mami, don't overthink this"- Joey nodded, her eyes locked in her mother's- "Remember what you said to me last night?"

- "I asked you to smack me if I thought about backing off"- Joey whispered, and her mother smiled.

- "What was it that you wanted me to remind you of?"

Knowing herself as much as she did, Joey had a conversation with her parents on her last night as a single woman. They were staying with her at the house. Matthew had moved to his brother's house for the previous three days before the wedding. The couple had been anxious enough that week (and the last five) but Mercedes and Jamia had convinced them to stay apart and miss each other a little to make their reunion at the altar more special.

The bride had spent her night with her parents watching movies after their rehearsal dinner... if going out bowling counted as a rehearsal dinner.

::: Los Angeles, Friday 29, 2011 :::

- "Ok, so imagine those pins at the end of the lane are me"- Matthew said, chuckling as he stood with a bowling ball in his hands- "You're all going to be the pins at the other lanes, ok?"

Their family and friends nodded, laughing as the young man stood there, explaining what would happen the next day at the wedding while they ate pizza and had a few beers.

- "Ok, so Joey is the ball"- Gubler continued.

- "Why?!"- the girl shouted right away, pretending to be insulted- "Is it because I'm pregnant and fat?! Is it, Gubs?!"

- "Never, Yami!"- Matthew ran to her and kissed her cheek sweetly- "This is just for educational purposes only, believe me"- she pouted, and he kissed her lips quick and sweetly, making their friends "awww" at the same time.

- "Fine... continue educating us then, Akumu"- he grinned and walked back to the lane quickly.

- "So, basically, what's gonna happen tomorrow is this"- Matthew grabbed the ball and stood still. Joey chuckled, staring at her soon-to-be husband- "You are going to be still and quiet, sitting or standing, depending on the moment. Don't worry, there will be someone telling you what to do. And suddenly, my Yami is going to show up and walk down the aisle like this."

The ball started rolling down the lane, and Gubler made a pause until the ball knocked down half of the pins and disappeared down the pit.

There was a dramatic silence for a few seconds as Matthew turned around and looked at all the guesses.

- "That's what's this wedding is all about. I am all those pins that fell, 'cos Joey knocked me down my feet as she walked down the aisle to me. And those pins standing at my best men, making their best not to freak out as I fall down and probably pass out in shock of how beautiful my bride will look like"- Joey walked to him and started kissing his cheeks quickly.

- "I love you so much, Gubs."

- "Did you see that? Take notes, gentleman, this is how you make your wife happy!"- everybody laughed at Gubler's words and made a toast for the couple.

- "This is deep shit Gubler"- Mikey said and made the groom chuckle.

- "I know, right?"- he quickly answered with a huge grin- "We didn't decide to come tonight bowling for no reason. This took months of preparation, right, Yami?"

- "Sure, Buttercup"- she replied and nodded, to then kiss his cheeks again, feeling her cheeks hurt from all the smiling she had done during the whole day. The whole week actually.

Later that night, the bride and her parents reached home after saying goodbye to Matthew, a scene that lasted at least half an hour after all of their guests and most of their relatives had already left the bowling club. The young couple didn't want to part, and their parents waited patiently until they said their goodbyes.

- "See you tomorrow, Yami"- Matthew whispered, rubbing his lips against hers as they stood under a starry sky. The spring breeze played with their hair as they just stayed there, hugged. Matthew sweetly kissed her, holding her face carefully with both his hands. She felt like a porcelain doll. He touched her with such care and fineness, it seemed like he was sure she was going to break if he wasn't careful.

- "I hate the fact I have to wait another night to sleep with you again..."- the girl whispered- "Our bed feels too big and cold without you kicking me at four in the morning"- he chuckled and kissed her sweetly.

- "Well, if I had known you liked my midnight kicking so much, I would have done it more often."

- "Shut up"- Joey pulled Matthew closer for a deeper kiss, and he failed to hold a soft moan as she slipped her tongue between his lips. They held each other tight, as close as possible, and their lips didn't leave the other's for as long as they could until they gasped for air.

- "Ya, mi amor! Vamos! Save some of that for tomorrow!"- Mercedes yelled and made Joey and Matthew chuckle, staring at each other.

- "You know, tomorrow you are gonna be Mrs. Gubler, and no one will ever be able to take you away from me"- he whispered and stared into her eyes in adoration as she bit her lips, smiling.

- "I like the sound of that, Mr. Gubler."

Finally, back home, Joey and her family sat on the couch to watch a movie together. Mercedes had made her favorites sweets, and Sveinbjörn kept his daughter hugged, close to him, during the whole time. He had mixed feelings that week. He couldn't stop seeing her like she was ten years old again. Every time she spoke, he heard her little voice asking for more candies. It was bittersweet to feel he was letting his little girl go. His girl. He had so clear in his mind the moment they had first brought her home. She was like a scared kitten trying to look brave.

But most of all, Sveinbjörn remembered the first time she had called him dad. It had been a few months after they adopted her. They were out a weekend, on a family trip to Snoqualmie Pass. Joey had decided she wanted to learn how to snowboard, and her parents thought it was a good idea to encourage her to do a winter sport that wasn't sitting in front of the television during the cold months.

It had turned out to be a little more complicated than she had expected, but still, she was putting everything she could into the class. The other kids were much better, and she didn't want to be beaten or humiliated. Her parents looked at the class from a safe distance, having coffee in a little place a few meters away. They kept smiling and taking photos until they heard a loud yell. Joey had started sliding down a small hill, and the girl didn't know how to stop. The only word that left her lips the moment she faced she needed help was:

- "Dad!! Help me!!"

And it was like a thunder had echoed in Sveinbjörn's heart. He jumped from his chair and ran as fast as his legs could take him until he reached Joey's side. She had fallen on her side, and though she wasn't hurt, her heart was racing, and her chin kept quivering, making her best not to cry.

- "I'm here! I'm here"- Sveinbjörn repeated as he held her tight, and her arms locked on his like if her life depended on it. That was the day he felt she had accepted her as her father.

Now the same girl was sitting next to him, with her head on his shoulder, watching "Lord of the Rings" for the hundredth time, caressing her pregnancy belly. Sveinbjörn held his breath for a second and looked at his wife with tearful eyes. She smiled at him and sent him a kiss.

- "Ok guys, real talk here"- Joey said a few minutes later and sat straight on the couch.

- "What happens, mi amor?"- Mercedes asked and reached a cup of hot chocolate for her daughter.

- "Where are the marshmallows, mom?"

- "Gubbi told me not to give you any more marshmallows"- Joey had to bite her lips not to crack up at her mother's nickname for her boyfriend. Instead, she made her best effort to keep a straight face as she looked into Mercedes's eyes.

- "But he is not here. Why can't I have more marshmallows?"

- "The doctor asked you to watch your sugar, mi amor, and I am not going to put my granddaughter's health at risk"- the girl narrowed her eyes and argued right away.

- "But you made brownies and cinnamon rolls, and my wedding cake!!"

- "But no marshmallows in your chocolate! We have to set boundaries!"- and Joey sighed, resigned. She knew that was a battle she wasn't going to win.

- "Fine... whatever, that's not what I wanted to say."

- "What is it, prinsessa?"- Sveinbjörn asked and smiled at his daughter

- "Ok... so"- she sighed and looked at her parents, both of them waiting for her words- "Ok, so"- she repeated and tried to rearrange the words in her head- "So, if tomorrow, at any moment of the day I chicken out, I need you to slap me, ok?"

Both of her parents stared at Joey in disbelief and waited for a few seconds before the two of them burst out laughing right on her face.

- "Ay mi amor! What makes you think you are going to get cold feet?"

- "Mom, you know me, I'm sure I'm gonna start overthinking everything, and I'm gonna freak out sooner or later. So when that happens, I need you to remember something to me."

Mercedes and Sveinbjörn stared at their daughter, waiting for her words. But they only got silence. Joey looked at her hands and played with her engagement ring on her finger.

- "Prinsessa? We are gonna need the rest of the information for tomorrow"- her father whispered and rubbed her leg fondly.

- "Just remind me I had never been this Joey before I met him"- she whispered and blushed- "And that... we are creepy together. That he crossed oceans of time to find me... that he cried when I told him I was pregnant 'cos he was so happy he couldn't handle it. And this is the most important part: mom, please tell me no matter how scared I am..."

::: Los Angeles, April 30th, 2011 :::

17:35pm

- "... No matter how scared I am, when Matthew holds my hand, I always feel shit will only get better"- Joey whispered and smiled as Mercedes kissed her forehead and wiped off the tears from her face.

- "That's right, mami. So don't be afraid, 'cos you are gonna marry the man who makes you happy."

The bride nodded at her mother's words and took a look around the room. Marilyn walked into the room that minute and smiled at her.

- "Hey guys... just give me a second. I need to stop crying"- Joey whispered, and both of the women chuckled as they walked over and hugged her.

- "You look so pretty"- Marilyn answered and smiled, kissing her cheek.

- "How's Matthew?"- the bride asked, and her in-law smiled.

- "He is ready"- his mother answered proudly, but his sister chuckled.

- "He already finished puking, and we made sure he was dressed, combed, and entirely functional to wait at the altar"- Laura answered and chuckled as her soon-to-be sister looked at her with a huge grin.

- "I wasn't waiting for any different scenario."

And it was all true. Gray, Matthew's younger brother, looked at Mikey, and both of them shook their heads as they saw the groom walk in and out of the bathroom non-stop for at least twenty minutes. His best men were all in the guest's room with him: his brother, two of his best friends, and Mikey Way. The bassist was shocked when Gubler asked him to be part of the wedding, but there was no way he could ever refuse.

- "Do you want me to call mom again?"- Gray asked his brother as he walked into the bathroom and found him sitting at the edge of the tub. Matthew was already in his tuxedo, and his hair was a mess after he had run his hands through it a hundred times just in the last five minutes.

- "No, I'm ok, I just need to..."- Matthew took a deep breath and held it as long as he could- "I just need to relax a little. I got slightly nervous."

- "Slightly?"- Gray raised an eyebrow and tapped on his brother's back- "You are freaking out, dude! come on!"

- "I'm not freaking out!!"- Matthew yelled, totally freaked out, and stood up, walking back to the room. His friends were playing cards as they waited for the wedding. Mikey looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

- "Dude, wanna go get a drink?"- he asked and walked with him to the door.

- "That's the best idea I've heard in the latest hours! Thank you! That's the kind of best man I was hoping to get from my friends."

The whole catering was ready for the ceremony, and most of the guests had already arrived. They all waved at Matthew as he, Gray, and Mikey walked to the bar area.

- "Ok, one whisky, and that's it"- his brother said, and Gubler nodded, holding the glass and sipping it.

- "Why are you freaking out?"- Way raised an eyebrow and suppressed a smile- "You nagged my sister until you wore her out and got her to marry you."- the Gubler's brother chuckled at those words- "And now you look like a lamb that's gonna get slaughtered!"

- "I don't! I don't!"- Gubler argued and took another sip of his whisky- "I just... oh fuck it burns!"- he looked almost shocked that his drink was so strong. Mikey and Gray chuckled- "I just wanna make sure everything is ok, is everything ok? Do you think she is gonna like everything?"

- "Gub, breathe, ok?"- his brother grabbed his shoulders and smiled kindly- "It's gonna be great!"

- "And she hasn't run away yet. That's always a good sign"- Mikey added and drank his whiskey.

- "Yeah, that's actually pretty reassuring"- Matthew chortled and left his glass aside. He had already had his share of whiskey that week with his friends. That day he wanted to have a clear mind to remember every single detail of their wedding, 'cos he didn't really remember a lot of his bachelor party last Thursday.

::: Los Angeles, April 28th, 2011 :::

- "I'm gonna get fucking married!!!"- Matthew yelled as he jumped into the pool in his brother's backyard.

Everybody in that bachelor party was boozed. And though Gubler had asked his friends to keep it rating G and almost family-friendly, Gray had gotten him a couple of strippers for an hour dance show. Everybody enjoyed the spectacle, but the groom did his best to stay as far from the strippers as possible. He actually asked them very nicely to focus the entire show on his friends.

- "If my wife bought you lapdances, it's only fair I do the same"- the groom tapped on Mikey's back and smiled, absolutely drunk.

- "She even made out with a stripper"- Frank added and laughed- "Fuck, I'm never going to forget that shit... I still think about it in the shower sometimes."

- "That's my wife, man!!"- Matthew frowned and hit Iero's arm, though both of them were slightly chuckling.

- "Hey! My wife is this close to saying your fucking name in the sack with me, so let me enjoy that fucking memory!"

Everybody laughed at that argument, and Matthew could hardly keep a straight face as Frank sipped his beer and snorted as he added.

- "I'm pretty sure she had to stop herself from..."

- "Stop! Stop it!!"- Gubler shouted and turned around, covering his face with both hands- "I need another drink!"- and just like that, Matthew left to find more booze.

Mikey looked at Ray and Frank and smiled widely, staring at the scene around them. They were with Matthew's friends and brother, celebrating his last days as a single man 'cos he was about to marry one of their closest friends.

- "This shit is bizarre"- Frank slurred, as his tongue felt numb in his mouth from all the alcohol he had drunk in the latest hours- "I didn't see this coming."

- "What? Being wasted?"- Mikey asked, frowning- "I totally called it."

- "Being here with Gubler, ass!"- Frank hit Mikey, and Mikey hit him back right away as Ray laughed. They were like The Three Stooges. They looked at the groom hugging his friends, wasted, and crying as he jumped into the pool again, yelling he was getting married.

- "Ok, now are you two a little more calm knowing our little sister is gonna marry a good man?"- Ray asked his friends, and they sighed.

- "No. I'm never gonna be really calm about anything that might hurt her"- Mikey answered with brutal honesty- "But I feel a little better knowing she is doing what makes her happy."

- "Yeah, she is doing him, and he makes her happy"- Frank added, and they cracked up laughing right away.

- "Stop putting those images in my mind!!"- Ray argued immediately.

- "How's my favorite band doing?!"- Matthew walked over and wrapped his arms around Mikey and Ray- "Did I tell you how much I love you, guys?"

- "No, Gubs. We haven't reached that part of the drunk talk yet"- Iero smiled and lit another cigarette- "But we love you too, man, you've been a weird addition to our lives!"

- "Yeah, you came along with Bug, and though we wanted to kill you for a while... you are kind of growing on us"- Ray added joking, and messed with Gubler's hair.

But the groom stayed serious for a moment, digesting those words. It was an issue for him, and now that he was drunk, he wasn't processing it well.

- "I'm so sorry, guys"- and Gubler's eyes flooded with tears- "I'm so sorry for what I did... I will never forgive myself for hurting her so much. And the fact you were there for her when she needed you..."

Matthew hugged Mikey and Ray tighter and invited Frank into the group hug. The one he joined, drunk tears in his eyes as well.

- "Come on, man! We know you love her, you fixed everything, and now you are gonna marry her!"- Toro tried to cheer Gubler up, feeling guilty he might have... broken him.

- "Yeah! And you have the chance to make her happy every single fucking day from now on"- Mikey added, tapping on his back and handing him his beer- "So stop being sorry, and start being awesome with her, ok?"

- "Yeah, I can do that"- Matthew sobbed and smiled- "Thank you so fucking much, guys! I really love you!"

- "That's the booze talking!!"- Iero laughed- "But just 'cos we don't want to be mean with you today, we are going to admit that we love you too..."

- "This is the deepest conversation we've ever had!!"- Gubler was really drunk, 'cos in real life, all clean and sober, they had shared much deeper conversations. Just that neither of them included "I love you man" at any part.

- "Now let's call Yami!!"- Matthew jumped all of a sudden, whipping off the tears from his eyes and grabbing the phone from the table quickly- "I wanna tell her we are best friends!"

- "She already knows!"- Ray laughed at Gubler's excited face. The groom FaceTimed his soon-to-be bride and waited a few seconds before she picked up.

Joey was the only one sober in that bar. She could tell her friends were absolutely wasted. And it was fun to watch them trying to dance around, holding their drinks, and acting all happy.

- "Are you having fun, bebé?"- Mercedes asked, walking to her daughter, who was sitting by a table, sipping her virgin piña colada and wearing a silly veil and a sash that had written "Mrs. Gubler" in golden letters.

- "Very! But I'm so fucking tired! It has been one hell of a week..."

- "But everything is ready, mami! so stop whining and start enjoying, ok?"- Joey chuckled at her mother's words and nodded.

- "Yes, mamá, you are right"- the two of them smiled and turned to the dancefloor.

- "White people can't dance"- Mercedes shook her head, and Joey burst out laughing.

- "Are you gonna go show them how it's done?"

- "I don't want to embarrass them... look at them, they are so happy"- Joey kept laughing and felt the hum of her phone in her pocket.

- "It's Matthew!"- the girl nearly jumped with excitement as she saw her boyfriend's face on the screen- "Akumu!!"

- "Yami!! I'm so fucking drunk!!"- the young man shouted, and Joey laughed immediately.

- "I can tell!"

- "And Mikey is my fucking best man! Literally!"- the bassist appeared on the screen hugging Gubler, along with Frank and Ray.

- "We are fucking best friends for life!!"- Way hollered and kissed Matthew's face.

- "Dude! You are gonna be the godfather of our little baby princess! We are gonna be fucking family!!"

The two men looked at each other in shock, and tears flooded their eyes again.

- "Are you crying?!"- Joey yelled in shock as Frank laughed at the other side of the screen

- "Dude, we are drunk and emotional, let the guys be!!"

- "You are right, Jersey"

- "How's the party over there? How's Jamia doing?"- he asked as Joey could see how Mikey and Matthew were still hugged, probably sobbing

- "She is rocking the dancefloor with the girls while I sit and drink pennyroyal tea"- bride sang and lifted her glass with a smile- "It's not really tea, it's a virgin piña colada.'

- "Fascinating"- Iero chuckled, and Matthew grabbed the phone.

- "Yami! I miss you!"

- "I miss you too, Akumu!"

- "Stop being so lovey lovey"- Mercedes argued, and Joey laughed right away.

- "Mom, it's "lovey-dovey."

- "Whatever! You understood what I was saying, so don't correct me! And you two are supposed to miss each other! So stop being so lovey lovey and say good night!"

- "No! Mom!"- the girl argued and chuckled, holding onto her phone with her life.

- "I said good night!"

- "You can't force me to hang up!"

- "Give me that!"

- "Why are you so hot-headed about this?"- Joey chuckled as she kept her phone away from her mother

- "I am not a hot-head. I am Colombian. We get excited. Our country is covered in coffee!"

- "Mercedes! Come on! You already forced me not to sleep with her!! I miss her!"- Matthew yelled, making his in-law chuckle.

- "You already knocked her up! What else do you want?!"- Mrs. Sigmundsson yelled, joking and her daughter covered her face with both hands, completely embarrassed.

- "I want her cuddles"- Matthew added with a sweet pout- "Please don't yell at me!"

- "This is how you know that your new family loves you. When they feel free to yell at you!"- Mercedes quickly replied and chuckled.

- "Oh my god!! I miss you so much!"- Joey said and threw a kiss to the screen.

- "Are you having fun, Yami?"

- "Yes! It's been better than I expected... by the way, your sister is wasted."

- "That's ok... everybody here is pretty hammered too."

- "Why are you all wet, by the way?"

- "I jumped into the pool"- Matthew's smile made Joey sure he was proud of his actions.

- "Ok... don't catch a cold"

- "I won't, I swear!"

- "How's Christa?!"- Ray yelled from somewhere. He wasn't really in the view.

- "She is slightly... a little bit less drunk than Jamia... but both of them are gonna end up puking in a while, I'm sure."

- "Jamia is the worst? Great! I won't feel guilty to get intoxicated then!"- Frank interrupted Ray's words and tapped on his friend's back- "I'll go get another beer!"

- "What the fuck are you doing sitting here talking on the phone?"- Paget showed up all of a sudden and narrowed her eyes, staring at Joey.

- "Hey bestie!"- Matthew's voice was his answer, as Joey bit her lips, not even able to answer that question. She was making her best not to laugh.

- "What the fuck? Matthew?"- Brewster grabbed the phone and widened her eyes- "You shouldn't be talking with the bride!"

- "Come on! It's not like we are seeing each other right before the wedding or whatever. I just wanted to check on her and see how everything was going. Is she having fun? Is she feeling ok? How's baby Amelia?"

- "She is ok, everybody is having fun, and you should leave her alone, she is enjoying her last party with her girls as a single woman! Now say goodnight 'cos we are gonna dance"- Paget gave Joey her phone but stood still in front of her, waiting for her to finish the call.

- "Ok, Akumu, your mom won't let us talk anymore..."- Joey chuckled- "So I guess I'll see you tomorrow, ok?"

- "Yes, Mrs. Gubler"- the young man smiled and waved- "I love you so much!"

- "I love you more!"

- "I honestly doubt that."

- "Don't make me show you"

- "Stop the lovey lovey!!"- Mercedes yelled and ended the call- "It's your bachelorette party, and you are gonna have fun with your girls. Come on!"

Mercedes was a party beast. No one could ever doubt that. Joey was right when she said her mother partied harder than her. She forced her daughter to move from the table and onto the dancefloor. It was a fun scene, and it had been a pretty good bachelorette party after all. Joey didn't really have any high hopes for the night, but Jamia had excelled in her duty.

They had started the celebration at Paget's house, with some things to eat and a few fun games. Everybody had been invited to get together: Mercedes, Matthew's mom and sister, AJ, Kristen, Christa, Jamia, Tabitha, and her mother. And everybody was at the club. Even Gubler's mom. Joey was honestly tired and didn't really want to go, but she was forced... and glad she had. 'Cos she had the time of her life.

Having girlfriends wasn't as bad as she always thought it would be. Having friends wasn't as awful as she had experienced before, and letting people into her life was more rewarding than she had imagined. Joey had no idea what had happened to her in the lastest months, but she was never going to go back to being the old self she was a year ago.

::: Los Angeles, April 30th, 2011 :::

17:45

- "Hey! Mikey! How are you?"- the bassist walked to the backyard, as far as possible from everything and everyone as soon as he read his brother's number on his cell phone screen.

- "Hey, Gerard... how are you?"

- "Good... I'm..."- the singer made a pause and lit a cigarette- "Do you wanna hang out? Catch a movie or whatever?"

- "I can't today."

- "Why not?"

- "I've got plans?"

- "Hot date?"

- "No"- Gerard sighed and nodded. It only took him a second to realize which was the real reason his brother couldn't hang out with him.

- "Today is the wedding, right?"- Mikey's silence was all the answer he needed- "I see... well... sorry to bother you, you must be too busy with your fucking new friends."

- "Can you stop that? Why are you trying to make me feel like I'm betraying you."

- "Then maybe you did!"

- "I'm not! stop playing the victim 'cos that shitty role doesn't fit you!"- Gerard knew his brother was never going to feel sorry for him, so it was useless to act hurt.

- "Is everybody there?"

- "Yeah"- Mikey didn't want to lie. There was no use.

- "And... how does she look like?"

- "I haven't seen her. The ceremony starts in fifteen minutes"- the fact there was a time set for the moment she was going to be Gubler's wife cut Gerard deeper than his wife's word when they fought.

- "Well then... I don't wanna keep you from your bridesmaid's duties."

- "You really are a bitter little bitch"- Mikey answered and hesitated a little before adding- "I'm actually in best man's duty today."

The silence in the line let the bassist know his words had hurt Gerard. It's not that he didn't care his brother was going through a rough patch in life. It was that he was sick of being thrown under the bus by him to save his marriage.

Gerard had blamed Mikey for everything that had gone wrong with Joey on tour. He had told Lynz that he had kissed the drummer acting over jealousy, 'cos Mikey had all her attention, and he didn't have any. Stupid, selfish, completely irrational. A lie. A useless lie Gerard knew was going to blow on his face at a certain point. A lie that was ruining his relationship with his younger brother. But it was the lie that kept Lynz around as he slowly convinced her he didn't have any feelings for Joey.

- "I guess I'll talk to you some other time then"- Gerard hissed.

- "Yeah, see ya"- Mikey hung up the phone and scratched his eyes for a second. He grabbed his cigarettes from his pocket and hesitated about lighting one.

The Way brothers knew they weren't going to stay mad at each other forever, and considering they were going to start another eternal leg of the tour in a few days, they were going to talk about it eventually. But shit had gotten pretty rough, and it was undeniable.

Gerard was doing whatever was necessary to save his marriage. Lynz was tagging along for the following concert dates, stuck next to her husband, even when Joey wouldn't be close to him anymore. And though it was clearly going to be awkward for everybody, Gerard was willing to go through it. Joey didn't love him. He couldn't lose the woman who did.

Mikey turned off his phone and sighed. Jamia's voice took him from his thoughts, pushing Gerard away from his head right away. He could deal with him later.

- "Mikey, the bride needs you."

Joey was jumping all over the room when Mikey walked in. He smiled as soon as he saw her. Her maids of honor kept trying to calm her down and keeping her from stepping on her veil.

- "Bróðir!! Mia needs a snicker!"- the girl quickly said as she ran to her friend and kissed his cheek. He chuckled and took a mini Snicker from his pocket. Mikey Way was always prepared for the moment.

- "I love you, and your goddaughter loves you too... You look so fucking hot!!"

- "You look so fucking... white"- he teased and held her hand, raising it over her head, asking her to spin for him.

- "I'm a fucking marshmallow in Converse"- she grinned and showed Way her red converse underneath her dress- "I'm not gonna put on heels, no way, no how!"

- "You are gonna look so tiny next to Matthew in the pictures"- Mercedes joked from the other side of the room as she sipped a glass of champagne with Marilyn.

- "Anyone any day... except Mikey Way."

- "He is taller than me, actually"- the bassist whined and pouted.

- "Right!... but you fight a good fight"- Joey smiled so much, her cheeks were starting to hurt- "Anyway, I need you to give Akumu this"- the girl handed her friend a little box and started jumping on her spot again.

- "And this is?"- Mikey frowned and shook it, trying to listen to what was inside.

- "It's my wedding present for him."

- "Oh... ok... "- Mikey stood there staring at Joey with an interrogative look.

- "What are you waiting for? Go! And then come back and tell me if he liked it, please!!"

Joey was so excited Mikey was scared she could hyperventilate any minute. But it was so funny all he did was chuckle.

- "Fine, I'll be right back."

Matthew was downstairs, shaking every guest's hand as they walked into the house. He was with his dad and brother by the door, with a huge grin, all his confidence coming back to his body after freaking out earlier.

- "I have been sent by the bride"- Way announced ceremoniously and smiled as the groom nearly started jumping, just like Joey.

- "How is she?"

- "She asked me to give you this, it's her wedding present for you."

- "Oh! Fuck!!"- Matthew held the little box and chuckled nervously- "Wedding present, I forgot the wedding present!"

- "What?!"- Gray hit his brother's arm right away- "What the fuck?"

- "Yeah! I forgot it back in the room!!"- and Matthew burst out laughing- "You really think I'm the worst, thank you very much!"- and his brother smiled.

- "A little, yeah..."- Mikey and Gubler walked upstairs to the guest room. The actor dug into his backpack until he found a little box that he handed over to Mikey.

- "Ok, this is for Yami"

- "You have to open yours. She asked very specifically to describe your reaction as you saw it."

- "Oh, sure, sure!"- Matthew held the box Joey had sent him and opened it up to find a little note:

- "You gave me yours, here's mine"- he read out loud and smiled, staring at a little anatomic heart-shaped lapel pin. It was pearl red with golden details. His eyes filled with tears as he stared at it for a few seconds and immediately proceeded to put it on his tuxedo.

- "Looks pretty cool"- Mikey said and nodded at the groom.

- "I'm never gonna take this off"- Gubler's smile was so honest and happy. The few traces of hate that we're still hiding inside of Mikey's head against him disappeared. Way shook his head and tapped on his shoulder.

- "I'm going to her room to deliver yours... I'll tell him you cried."

- "Which I did"- the actor whipped off the tears from his eyes, and Mikey chuckled.

Mikey walked back into Joey's room the minute her father had gotten there to take her daughter. Everybody talked, making sure all the little details on her dress were ready, fixing her hair and makeup.

- "I come in the name of the groom"- Mikey announced as dramatically as he had done earlier- "And he has sent you this in return for your present."

- "Did he like it?"- Joey's eyes were so open they were nearly popping off her face.

- "He actually cried"- Mikey answered right away.

- "Please, mami! stop crying!!"- Mercedes whined as she started whipping off the tears that fell down her daughter's cheeks.

- "It's her wedding day, why aren't you crying?"- Tabitha asked and frowned as Mercedes smiled back.

- "I already had a little moment, but now my job is to be a rock for my daughter when she needs me. You'll see me drunk and crying after she is gone"- Joey chuckled, knowing her mother wasn't joking- "Now open the present!"

And so did the bride. She opened the little box, only to find an empty film case with a note and a Starbucks ticket.

- "The best coffee I've ever had"- she read the date on the ticket and realized it was from their first date, the date they met, recording his friend's band. Inside the case, there was also a simple family tree Pandora bracelet.

- "Only Matthew can put jewelry in a film case"- Jamia joked, and Joey snorted- "Are you gonna wear it for the wedding?"- the bride nodded, unable to speak.

- "Ay mami, if you are gonna cry, do it now, 'cos you have to walk downstairs in five minutes"- Mercedes hugged her daughter, who was biting her lips as hard as possible to stop the tears from falling.

- "She's the bride! She can be late"- her father quickly answered and kissed Joey's temple.

- "I'm gonna go see Matthew, dear"- Marilyn said.

- "Can you tell him to wait a little bit please, I think I need to get my shit together"- Joey whispered, and her in-laws smiled.

- "Take your time, honey."

Crying of happiness sounded like a cliché, and yet, there she was, making her best not to sob.

At 17:55, Mikey kissed Joey's forehead and walked to the backyard. He was going to tell Matthew about Joey's reaction to his present, but Frank waved and caught his attention.

- "How's everything going?"- he asked as Mikey hugged Christa, Tucker, and Ray.

- "Great, our girl is ready. Jamia is doing her bridesmaid's job quite amazingly, I must say. And Bug is on fire! she keeps jumping and laughing... the happiest bride on earth."

- "Gerard called"- Ray announced- "He said you talked to him today and told him about the wedding."

- "Yeah... sorry about that."

- "Nah, it's not a secret. I'm so fucking glad he doesn't know where we are, 'cos he would be able to show up and try to ruin everything..."- the band made a pause after Ray's words, and all of them hesitated for a second.

- "No, he doesn't know the address, no one else does, so there's no way he can show up"- Mikey reassured the band and nodded- "We are peachy."

Sveinbjörn held his daughter's arm and smiled at her as they got ready to walk downstairs. The couple's family room on the second floor had a beautiful stair that led directly to the backyard. The bride's maids of honor were ready to walk downstairs, but Joey held them back for one more minute.

- "Everything ok?"- Jamia asked and looked at the bride.

- "Yeah"- she took a deep breath and sighed- "Let's do this, mother fuckers."

Matthew was already standing by the altar, grinning at all the guests. He could see all his friends from home, his closest family, his nephew running around with AJ kid. His friends from Criminal Minds were there too, smiling widely at him. Everybody he loved was there, the people closest to his heart.

- "Nervous?"- his father asked him before taking his seat in the front line, and Matthew shook his head right away.

- "I've never been more sure about anything I've ever done before in my entire life."

The music started as all the bride's maids walked down the stairs slowly to be greeted by the groomsmen. First Tabitha, then Paget, Laura, and finally Jamia. When J was in the last step of the stairs, the string quartet started playing Elton John's "I guess that's why they call it the blues."

Joey took a deep breath and walked outside. Their backyard was a Halloween dream, and her charming prince was waiting for her, standing next to an arch of autumn-looking leaves, orange, brown and yellow. It was breathtaking.

The aisle was marked on the grass with garden candle lamps and red, black, white, yellow, and orange rose petals. Fairy lights hung all over around. A mix of black, orange, and cream color pumpkins filled the garden, some of them lightened with candles and craved "Mrs" and "Mr" and "Newly Wed."

The bride could feel her heart swell inside her chest as she fixed her eyes on Matthew and smiled. He whipped off the few tears that started falling down his cheeks as soon as he saw her and felt his brother tapping on his back. It felt forever until she reached his side. Sveinbjörn held his daughter's hand and Matthew's with a warm smile on his lips.

- "If you don't take care of her, I'll kill you"- the old man said, and Joey burst out laughing right away.

- "I swear, I will never leave her side, and I'll never let anything hurt her"- Gubler answered with happy tears in his eyes as he kept staring at Joey. Sveinbjörn kissed his baby and then kissed Matthew's cheek.

- "I love you, kids"- her father whispered and walked to sit next to his wife. Joey bit her lips as she looked at Matthew, and he leaned over to kiss her.

- "You have to wait until the end she whispered and giggled, staring at Matthew, who kept biting his lips."

- "I don't think I can... you look so beautiful"- he managed to whisper as they walked the last few steps until they were in front of the officiant.

- "The bride and the groom have written their own vows"- the officiant announced when it was time to exchange rings. Mathew held Joey's hand sweetly and smiled at her, feeling the knot in his throat tighten as he tried to speak.

- "Yami, I knew you were the love of my life as soon as you first pinched my arm when I was too hyperventilated on our first date"- the couple chuckled, along with most of the guests- "Never in my entire life, I imagined someone could get me like you do. And I've fallen in love with you so many times after that first date, I've already lost count. But if there's one thing I'm sure about, it's that I'll keep falling in love with you until my very last day."

Matthew had to make a pause as he smiled, staring into his bride's eyes with such tenderness, the girl felt her heart was about to stop. She had to bite her lips to stop the tears from falling.

- "I never thought I could find someone to be creepy with me, someone I could give my heart to. I just love you so much"- Matthew whispered- "And I love our little Amelia so much as well. I swear in front of all our family and friends, I'm gonna live the rest of my days on earth making the two of you, and all the other kids we are gonna have, as happy as you can be."

The girl chuckled as tears of love flooded her eyes.

- "We'll talk about "all the other kids" later, ok?"- she joked, making Gubler snort.

- "As you wish..."- he held her hand and sighed as he slipped the ring in her finger, to then kiss it. Jamia had to keep the sigh in her chest as she stared at the scene, thinking her crush for that man was never going to fade.

- "Matthew Gray"- Joey murmured and smiled as she felt the words couldn't even leave her lips. She was overwhelmed with love- "I never thought I would be standing in front of a man who wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. A man I trusted. When I was a kid, I always thought this day wasn't meant to exist for me. But ever since I met you, you've proved I was wrong about so many things.."

The two of them chuckled, and Matthew ran his thumb sweetly on Joey's cheek to wipe off the few tears that were falling from her eyes.

- "I love you"- he whispered as he stared at her.

- "I love you too"- she answered and blushed- "And I promise to love you as long as I live, and then longer... so I'll always keep the coffee pot on"- Gubler chuckled, and she smiled wide at his reaction- "Dr. Seuss wrote that you know you are in love when you don't want to fall asleep, 'cos reality is finally better than your dreams. I feel no dream can beat every moment I spend with you..."

Joey held Matthew's hand and sighed one last time, taking her time to make she wasn't going to cry the minute she put the ring in his finger. She smiled at him, tears now falling free from her eyes, just like from his.

Frank and Ray were sobbing, and they weren't even embarrassed about it. Most of the guests were crying after those vows. The officiant pronounced the couple husband and wife, and they finally kissed. Matthew cupped her face in his hands sweetly and gently as he pulled her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, humming into the kiss, feeling her heart beating so hard and fast inside her chest, she was sure everybody in the backyard could hear it. But she didn't care at all.

Joey didn't care that she had been cheesy in front of her family and friends. She didn't mind crying in front of a bunch of people. All she cared about were the lips kissing her and the man who sworn loving her until the end of time. The man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

- "I love you so much, Mrs. Gubler."

Matthew whispered and smiled widely as those words left his lips, resting his forehead in hers and running his tongue through his lips, thinking he didn't want to stop kissing her for as long as he lived. Joey laughed and nodded, feeling like a kid who had just received the most amazing present on earth.

- "I love you more, Mr. Gubler."

- "I surely doubt it"- he replied and kissed her lips once again.

- "Do you wanna bet?"- she teased, feeling how his hands traveled from his cheeks to her waist.

- "I've got the rest of my life to prove you wrong"- he answered with a snarky smile, and she just giggled.

- "Matthew Gray Gubler, it's on."

- "Ok, I'll first prove you wrong if you look to your right."

Joey frowned and looked beyond all the guests that waited in their seats to congratulate them. Hanging at the back of the garden, her eyes found the eighteen banners Matthew had made for each concert he had been in the audience: "The distance is nothing when one has a motive," "I have crossed oceans of time to find you," "And neither the angels in heaven above, Nor the demons down under the sea Can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee," "Come sleep with me: we won't make Love, love will make us," "You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope", "I have loved none but you," "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more," "Fear no more, says the heart...", "Just in case you ever foolishly forget; I'm never not thinking of you," and more.

- "Oh my... god... Matthew..."

- "I love you an insane amount, Mrs. Gubler... and my love is out there for everyone to see."

- "Akumu..."- the girl bit her lips trying not to cry- "I'm carrying your baby, so I win"- he chuckled and kissed her again.

- "I told you, I've got the rest of my life to prove you wrong, so every day, I'm planning to love you more than the day before."

- "We are cheesy"- Joey chuckled and kissed his lips softly- "I can do cheesy with you, no one else but you."

- "That's the plan, Mrs. Gubler. It's just you and me now."

- "I like the plan, Mr. Gubler."

The End

taglist @all-tings-diego @worryd0ll

#matthew gray gubler #gerard way #mikey way #frank iero #ray toro #babymetalldoll writes #mgg fanfic #mcr fanfic

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babymetaldoll · 3 years ago

Text

Danger Days- Chapter eighteen: "She's the tear in my heart"

Word count: 13,8 K

Summary: Joey meets Matthew for the first time since they broke up, and she has some BIG news for him. How will he react?

Warnings: Cursing, that's it, I think.

A/N: I'm melting with everything Gubler does.

Not my gif. Everything is fiction. Thank you for reading!

Masterlist

::: Los Angeles, March 21st, 2011 :::

Joey sighed as she opened her apartment door after a 15 hour trip from Helsinki to Los Angeles. Her jetlag was killing her. She had left at 3 in the morning and arrived at LAX at nine in the morning local time. She was lost in time and space. Her only plan was to get into bed and sleep the whole day.

She looked around her house and left the bags next to the door. Everything was untouched.

- "It's been twenty years!"- she joked to herself as she walked in. It felt like an eternity ever since she had been home. Her plants were just watered, which meant Matthew had been there. The drummer shook her head and refused to think about him. At that minute, she only had energy left to crawl herself into bed and sleep.

But her heart skipped a beat as soon as she reached her room: her bed was filled with Matthew's stuffed little monsters. They were so beautiful she didn't even take them away. A smile lodged on her face as she sat next to them, guiding a hand to her belly.

- "Your dad is gonna spoil you so much"- she whispered, took out her shoes, and slid underneath the covers. They smelled like Matthew. Her hand reached underneath her pillow, and his pajama was there. That hurt as a deep cut right in her soul. But still, she couldn't take it away.

Her cellphone ringing woke her up around five in the afternoon. She rolled in bed and groaned. She could have slept perfectly for twelve hours and more.

- "Hello?"- she grumbled and yawned. Whoever was waking her up deserved all her hate

- "Hey... I'm sorry to bother you..."- Joey wide opened her eyes and held her breath- "I just got worried you weren't answering my text, and I wanted to know if you had reached home safely."

- "Matthew Gray Gubler, I hate you so badly"- she whispered but chuckled- "I just napped six of the twelve hours I needed to rest after a fourteen-hour trip."

- "Oh, fuck! I'm so sorry, Yami!"- the nickname slipped from Matthew's lips and hit Joey right in the middle of her heart- "Please keep on sleeping. I just needed to know you were alright."

- "Nah, I might get something to eat now that I'm awake."

- "Do you want to have dinner with me?"- Joey froze and stayed very, very still. She wanted to see him, but she didn't want to want to see him. She wasn't ready to talk about all the things she had to. But at the same time... she just wanted to see him.

- "Alright"- she whispered, and Matthew nearly jumped on his seat

- "Really? I mean... great! I'll pick you up at six, ok?"

- "Ok, but if I fall asleep again, don't blame me, blame the fucking fifteen-hour trip."

- "Weren't just fourteen a minute ago?"

- "And an hour and a half layover in New York."

- "Right, sorry"- Joey smiled, Gubler smiled, and the two of them stayed quiet- "I'll see you later then."

- "Bye"- she hung up and sighed. It was time to face the truth. She had run away from it for a long week, but she couldn't do it anymore.

Joey sat on her bed and sighed. It was also time to make another hard phone call.

- "Inglewood Medical Center."

- "Hello, I would like to make an appointment for tomorrow"- Joey bit her nails as she scheduled the appointment with her gynecologist. She had to do it, even if she was afraid. She had no idea how she was going to handle it, but she knew she was screwed.

Matthew Gray Gubler changed his shirt for the fourth time. He had never been vain, but he wanted to make a good impression that day. He hadn't seen Joey since January 28th. That was nearly two months ago. He felt guilty for letting that much time pass. He should have gone to London. He could have changed his schedule and spent his birthday with her. He got so caught up with work he forgot how important his relationship was. After she said yes to marry him, did he start taking her for granted? Did he rest in their future together and overlooked how important it was to keep their relationship alive and strong day by day?

He shook his head and put on a jacket. There was no use in thinking all the things he could have done differently in the latest weeks. He could only think about all the things he had to do to win her girlfriend back again.

It was a slap in the face when he stood outside her apartment and realized it was better to knock on her door instead of using his key. It didn't feel right, but he didn't want to upset her. At that moment, all he wanted was to make her happy and do everything he could do to get her affections.

And so, he knocked. Joey felt a knot in her stomach as she heard him knocking. She was just finishing getting ready and nearly jumped in her closet at the sound of the door. She was glad he hadn't opened the door with his key, it made her feel he was keeping a distance, and that was precisely what she wanted.

- "Hi"- Joey whispered the second she opened the door and looked at Matthew's smile in front of her. He didn't answer, he couldn't speak. He was dumbfounded, staring at her. She was finally here, standing in front of him. It took everything he had to control his urges to hold her and kiss her. Gubler just wanted to cry and tell her over and over how much he loved her. But instead, he just stared, not able to even whisper a word.

Joey wasn't doing any better either. She felt her whole body trembling as she stood next to the door looking right into Matthew's eyes. She remembered that childish feeling that Gerard was a magnet that attracted her body to his. That was nothing compared with the attraction she was feeling in front of Gubler. She felt everything in him was calling for her. Every single inch of his whole self was yelling for her, calling out her name. It was so hard not to move. Joey felt she would faint when all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him deeply.

- "Hi"- Matthew finally whispered and took a step closer to her, slowly, afraid to drive her away. He moved towards her when he noticed Joey wasn't rejecting him. He couldn't hold it any longer, and his arms wrapped her body softly. She didn't know what to do, she wanted to hold him tight and never let go, but she had to make a statement. She was mad at him because he had disappointed her. Gubler had betrayed her. He fucked it up.

The young woman put one hand on his back and sighed, taking a deep breath of his smell, which felt exactly like home.

- "How are you?"- she murmured and moved away from him, closing the door behind his back and walking quickly to the living room to turn off the radio and grab her jacket. He wiped off the tears that were already falling from his eyes as he stared at her, still skeptical she was right here, in front of him.

- "Good, I'm good... you? Did you rest?"

- "Yeah, it was a good thing you called me at the end. I have to fix this jet lag, so it's better to save some of this exhaustion for tonight and see if I can get a good ten hours sleep"- Matthew smiled as she spoke and sighed.

- "I'm glad I helped"- Joey stood in the middle of the room and grabbed her purse.

- "So..."- she made a pause and looked at him, biting the inside of the cheek, a nervous wreck- "I'm ready."

- "You look... so incredibly pretty tonight"- he whispered, and she looked away.

- "You look so bruised"- she answered, and he chuckled.

- "Yeah, it happens when you are in a car crash."

- "Good to know, I'll try not to get into one"- Joey winced as she stared at Matthew's bruises. He had a big wound like a red scratch next to his left eye and his bone cheek.

- "I've got some others on my legs and arms, but really, it's nothing. It could have been worse."

- "Yeah, I know"- neither of them said a word for a few seconds. Gubler took a step closer to her, and she took a step back.

- "I'm sorry... I know this"- he pointed to the two of them- "This is weird and awkward, but... would it be ok if I hug you again?"- the young woman hesitated- "I just missed you so much."

Gubler added and cut her a shy smile. She wanted to, but she didn't want to be nice to him. She had to make a statement.

- "I would rather not"- she simply answered, and Matthew's chest tightened- "Let's go?"

Matthew nodded and opened the door. Joey took a deep breath and started walking. She still had no idea how to crack the news to him. He was going to be a dad, and he had no idea.

The drive to the restaurant was quiet and awkward. Matthew tried to make conversation, and they talked a little about his time at the hospital. Joey tried to stay cold and distant the whole time. Her entire body was tense and rigid; she even tried not to move. She locked her eyes on the road in front and tried to think happy thoughts. Which was actually worse 'cos her happy thoughts were mostly memories with Matthew.

- "Here we are"- Gubler whispered as he parked the car outside Joey's favorite restaurant- "I thought you might like a jumbo pad thai for dinner"- the young woman bit her lips and held her breath for a second.

- "Thank you, that's very thoughtful"- and quickly, she got out of the car.

- "Fuck, fuck, fuck"- Matthew kept cursing in his head. He knew it was going to be hard, he had seen Joey mad before, but he had never seen or felt her as cold and distant as she was at that moment. It was shocking how she could show him no feeling at all.

They were guided at their table, a booth at the back that gave them the privacy they needed to talk. The table was set with candles, and the waitress soon arrived with their favorite drinks, no need to ask before.

- "Can I get some water, please?"- Joey asked her and looked around- "You shouldn't have prepared all this."

- "I wanted to make something special for you."

- "Matthew, we are no longer a couple. You don't need to do this for me"- her words were knives that hurt Gubler harder and more painful than the car crash had done. His eyes stayed in hers, not knowing what to say.

- "I'm willing to do anything you ask me to do for you to forgive me"- he whispered after a few minutes and moved a little closer to her- "Anything, Joey."

- "The only thing you could do so I can forgive you is to travel back in time and stop your ex's mouth from getting to yours and around your cock"- she sentenced and raised an eyebrow- "Other than that, there is nothing that could make me forgive you."

- "Joey, I know I was stupid, and I know you are mad at me."

- "You think I am mad at you?"- the young woman asked, pretending to be in shock- "Mad is not even close to what I feel for you at this moment, and it has been taking a lot of effort to get to talk to you so friendly, but"- she made a pause and took a deep breath- "There is something we should talk about."

- "Joey, I know I was stupid, an asshole! I know I fucked it up 'cos I should have traveled to see you, I should have gone to London, I should have taken a week off and be with you... but I am here! I love you, I need you!"

- "You know how much it took me to trust you, Matthew?"

Keeping a straight face was honestly the biggest challenge in Joey's life, to look at Matthew without crying and, most of all, to keep a cold mind and not forgive him and kiss him for the rest of the night.

- "Joey..."

- "No! you, of all the people in my life, were the one I chose to trust, and to love, trying to leave all of my fears behind..."- she made a pause, the waitress arrived to take their order.

- "Joey"- Matthew whispered when the waitress was gone- "Believe me, I know, and I hate myself for it, I was just..."

- "Just what? There's an excuse for your acts?"

- "I was drunk and sad, and I honestly didn't know what I was doing"- Joey furrowed her brows.

- "I saw the pictures, Matthew. It looked like you were completely aware of what you were doing"- the actor winced. She saw the pictures. Though he knew it, it hurt to remember what she had seen all he had tried to forget. What he was ashamed of.

- "The man in those pictures was wronged."

- "No shit!"- Joey snapped but did her best to stay calm- "As far as I remember, the man in those pictures had two bitches in front of him, kissing him at the very same fucking time. He also kissed one while the other licked his neck. And as far as I know, he took them to the back of the bar and fucked them!"

- "No! Joey, that didn't happen! I didn't fuck with them!"- the look in the woman's eyes was crystal clear: she didn't believe a word- "I mean it Joey, Ann took me there, yes, Ann tried to..."- he cleared his throat, to say he was awkward would be an inaccuracy. He was ashamed, terrified, disgusted by himself. All at the same time, in front of the love of his life.

- "I don't know if I really want to know what you did with her."

- "No, Joey, I didn't do... yes! She managed to... "shit, this is hard" suck my cock"- he murmured those words, looking down in deep shame- "But it didn't last..."

- "Oh shit!"- Joey covered her face with both hands, trying to hide her anger and sadness- "I really don't want the details!"

- "No! Joey, listen to me, she did it until I called out your name, and she got mad and left! I didn't cum! I didn't even know it was her! I was so drunk I thought it was you!"

That sounded oddly familiar. Kissing someone, letting someone touch you just 'cos you are drunk enough to think it's someone else. Joey could relate to that. Only one thing was different. She had done it after they broke up 'cos she was mad at him. He had done it simply 'cos he was horny and couldn't control himself.

- "You know that doesn't change anything, right?"- Joey answered after a few minutes and sipped her water- "You cheated, and there is no way you can undo it. So why don't we just... cut to the chase"- she opened her bag and grabbed a small box. Matthew knew what it was.

- "Please don't."

- "Don't what?"- Joey raised an eyebrow and moved the box to Gubler's side of the table- "Your ring, your heart."

- "Joey, these are yours"- he moved the box back to her side of the table, and Joey noticed his eyes were filled with tears- "I gave them to you, I want you to have them."

- "Why would I want an engagement ring from the man who cheated and broke my heart?"- she simply asked, but her voice broke by the end of the sentence. The man didn't take the box. He stayed quiet, looking at his hands on the table quietly, doing his best to hide the tears that fell down his cheeks. Joey wasn't talking either; she knew if she opened her mouth, she would start crying too.

Neither of them said a word until the food arrived. That was at least ten minutes of silence. That was probably the longest Matthew had been quiet in his entire life. Joey looked for the guts to tell him about the baby, but every time she was going to say anything, she felt a knot in her throat, stopping her.

- "The reason I'm here tonight is that there is..."- she managed to whisper as she stared at the untouched pad thai in front of her. Neither of them eating anything- "There is something I need you to..."

- "Anything"- Matthew replied, not knowing what she was going to say. He regretted those words when he realized she might ask him to get all his things from her house, which would kill him.

- "I need you to come with me tomorrow to an appointment"- Matthew frowned, not getting what she was saying.

- "What appointment?"

- "With the doctor"- he widened his eyes in shock and fear.

- "Joey, what is it? Are you ok? are you sick? Do you feel ok? Did something happen on tour? are you hurt?"- he looked and sounded so worried, Joey's heart skipped a beat. Matthew reached her hand for a second, and his warmth melted her so fastly, she had to take a pause and remove her hand from his before she managed to murmur.

- "I'm pregnant"

Matthew's face changed. He stayed still, in shock, notoriously surprised by the news. Joey looked at him, scared. How was he going to react to that?

- "I'm gonna be a dad?"- he whispered, words barely leaving his lips. Joey just nodded, waiting for whatever it was that he was going to say next- "I'm gonna be a dad?"- he asked again.

- "Yes... I am... pregnant. I haven't gotten my period since January."

- "I'm gonna be a dad"- he kept repeating, in misbelieve of those words.

- "I understand if you don't want to be a part of this. We are no longer a couple. I just thought you might like to know you are going to be a father."

- "Wait, wait, what are you saying?"- he frowned and stepped off his trance for a second- "What are you talking about me not wanting to be a part of this? I love you, we are gonna have a baby! I don't care about anything else in the world!"

Gubler was now hyperventilating, and Joey watched how his face stepped from shock to the purest joy and bliss. For once, the tears in his eyes were of happiness.

- "Well, I don't know, this wasn't something we planned and..."

- "Joey... Joey, stop"- Matthew slid closer to her in the booth and held both her hands, kissing them. Joey was so touched by his reaction, she wasn't able to move them from him.

- "You just made the happiest man on earth. There is nothing I want more in this life than to have a baby with you"- he placed her hands on his chest, Joey could feel how fast his heart was beating. She was sure hers was beating as hard and fast.

- "Tomorrow at ten I have an appointment with my doctor, he is gonna run some tests... confirm the pregnancy, maybe I'm just... I don't know, peeing blue making all the tests I took turn that color"- Joey rambled and moved her hands slowly from Matthew's before she would lose her mind completely.

- "Of course I'll go with you, I'll go with you to all of your appointments"- she cut him a short honest smile and nodded.

- "Thank you."

- "Don't thank me, thank you, thank you!"- he repeated and leaned closer to her, wrapping his arms slowly around her- "Thank you for making me a dad"- she could barely breathe feeling him so close- "I know we are not in the best moment of our relationship, and I know you hate me right now... God knows I hate myself too, but a baby"- he paused his words to grin like a little kid on Christmas morning- "I've always dreamt of being a father, and a baby with you has been my dream ever since I met you."

He leaned over and kissed Joey's cheek softly. She felt his lips on her skin and shivered, so she moved slowly apart from him.

- "I'm glad you are not mad"- she confessed.

- "How could I? This is the best news I've ever gotten."

- "Please, can we not tell anyone yet?"- the young woman begged- "I want to wait until we've got a confirmation and we know everything is ok."

- "Of course! Of course! Whatever you want, whatever you need..."

- "There is one thing."

- "Tell me?"

- "This is the worst moment ever, but I'm fucking starving. I haven't eaten since probably five in the morning local time, and I need to eat this pad thai before I faint."

Matthew looked at her in love, in deep love and devotion. She cut him a quick smile and grabbed her fork.

- "Paget asked about you the other day"- Matthew broke the silence after a few minutes. Joey was already half into her dish, eating in silence, just looking at her food, trying to pretend her ex-boyfriend wasn't staring at her.

- "How is she?"- the young woman asked, in part to be polite, and also 'cos she really liked her, she had always been nice and friendly with the drummer. As Matthew's best friend, Paget had been the sweetest. She always made sure Joey felt good and welcome amongst their friends, and on the set, crew parties, everything.

- "She hates me"- Gubler simply answered- "She hit me."

- "She'll get over it soon, don't worry"- the drummer simply answered, and her cell phone hummed.

- "How is it going?"- Mikey texted- "Do you need me to drive you back home?"- Joey looked at the screen and sighed. She quickly replied she was ok, and that she would call him later.

- "Everything ok?"- Matthew furrowed his brows, and his worst fears filled his head: she was now with someone else, anyone else.

- "Yes, Mikey wanted to know if everything was ok"- the soon-to-be father nodded and played with his food.

- "Does he know everything? I mean, I know he knows about us, but... about our baby?"

- "I had to tell them. I had been sick for a few days. Well, after we broke up, I wasn't keeping much in my stomach anyway. But it got to the point where..."- she made a pause and sighed- "Well, puking everything all the time made me think I could be... pregnant."

His heart ached, staring at her face, thinking she had been sick because of him. For what he had done to her. She avoided looking at him, and he knew it. She had dark rings under her eyes, though she had made her best to cover them with makeup. Her hair was longer, her arms seemed skinner.

- "Have you been eating well?"- he asked, his voice a whisper, a little scared of upsetting her with his question.

- "Well, after I told them the news, they all started forcing me to eat. Mikey keeps taking candies away from me, and Jamia has been helping me set a diet that's low in sugar"- Matthew ran his tongue through his lips slowly, looking at her hands and her body.

- "I'm happy they have been taking care of you"

- "You have no idea"- she murmured and chuckled- "I had to ask them to stop."

- "Ray got all dad like?"

- "You bet!"- Joey was still looking at her dish, but those last words sounded a little more relaxed than the whole conversation they had had.

- "Wait!"- Matthew suddenly realized something- "That's why Mikey took all your candies?"- he asked and widened his eyes- "You knew you were pregnant when you called, and I was in the hospital?"

- "Yeah... but I knew I had to wait and have this conversation in person."

- "You are right"- he whispered- "I'm just..."- but before Matthew could start asking for forgiveness again, Joey set the cutlery on her dish and sighed.

- "Can we get dessert?"- she simply asked and caught him off guard- "I'm sorry, I don't wanna get all pregnant yet, but I swear I could kill for a molten lava cake. Do you think they have one of those here?"- Matthew looked at her, confused but excited. He didn't say a word. He just smiled and raised his hand.

- "Waitress, can you tell me which are your desserts?"

- "Rotti ice cream and mango with coconut sticky rice."

- "Nothing with chocolate?"- the girl pouted.

- "I'm sorry."

- "Can you give us the check please?"- Matthew quickly grabbed his wallet and his phone.

- "What are you doing?"- Joey frowned and looked at the young man.

- "According to Yelp, the best molten lava cake in Los Angeles is only..."- he made a pause and checked on his phone- "Twenty minutes away, so let me get this, and we can have dessert."

- "No, Matthew, you don't have to."

- "I want to, and I have to."

- "You don't have to."- but he looked into her eyes with such intensity she felt he could see into her own thoughts.

- "I said I would do anything and everything to make you happy"- his lips moved slowly into a sweet smile- "And so, giving you the best molten lava cake is my mission for today."

Joey bit her inner lip to stop herself from smiling, though she actually failed at it.

- "I would say no at that, but I really want one, so badly."

- "See?"- Matthew Gray answered with a smile- "You can't resist-" she didn't really want to anyway.

Matthew Gray walked Joey back to her apartment. She opened the door and walked straight to the kitchen to turn on the kettle.

- "What are you drinking now that you can't have coffee?"- he asked her, standing by the door of the kitchen, staring at her looking for something on the shelves.

- "Ginger herbal tea, orange juice... plain water for the latest days 'cos every single thing I've drunk has made me nauseous"- Joey held a short smile and turned to him. She didn't know if she wanted to offer him something to drink or ask him to leave. He had been so adorable with her the whole time, even after she yelled at him. She looked at him, right into his chocolate eyes, and raised an eyebrow. And he just stared, mesmerized by her only existence.

- "I'm sorry you haven't felt good."

- "And to think I've got another eight months or so..."- she tried to sound casual about it, but the truth was, she was terrified. Matthew walked slowly to her and placed his hands on her arms. She shivered and moved a step back, but he slowly adjusted his body to her new position.

- "I just need you to know you won't be alone through this whole amazing process. I am here with you... I'm gonna take care of you."

- "I don't need you to take care of me"- Joey took another step back- "I can perfectly do this on my own."

- "But you won't"- he moved closer to her and slowly placed a hand on her cheek, very gently and sweetly- "'Cos I am going to be with you every single step of the way. And when our baby is here, I will spoil them and love them"- he smiled. Joey tried not to do it but failed again.

- "You don't have to do this."

- "I want to, I'm excited to do it, I can't wait actually"- his face melted Joey's heart. She didn't know why she ever thought he wasn't going to be excited by the news. Just by looking at him, she was sure he was going to be the best father her kid could have ever asked for. If only he hadn't cheated, everything would be so much better, so different, so filled with love.

- "Do you want some coffee?"- she murmured, trying to erase those thoughts from her mind, as she moved away from him quickly and walked to the kettle.

- "I think it's better if I leave you rest"- he answered and took a deep breath. He really wanted to stay with Joey until she got into bed and cuddle with her- "You need to sleep, and we've got an important appointment tomorrow at ten"- she nodded, silently thankful he was planning to leave. She couldn't hold her tears anymore, and she didn't trust herself around him. She just wanted to hold him and kiss him.

- "You are right"- Joey said, and just to make his statement more accurate, she yawned- "And I'm weary."

- "See?"- Matthew smiled and turned to the counter- "But before I go, I'm gonna make you that tea, and you are going to go to bed."

- "Really, it's not necessary."

- "I think it is."

- "Matthew Gray."

- "Please, let me. You are tired, your eyes are glassy, the rings under your eyes are darker than mines, which I think it's the worst sign of exhaustion there has ever been. Besides, you've been yawning since you ate those lava cakes"- Joey closed her eyes for a second.

- "I can't believe I ate two of those."

- "I can't believe how good they are"- and the young woman chuckled.

- "Epic... save that address, 'cos I'm gonna need more of those."

- "Noted"- they stared for a few seconds in silence- "Now go get in bed, I'll bring you your tea in a minute"- Joey sighed and turned around in silence, walking to her room.

Matthew grabbed her mug, poured the hot water and the herbal tea bag. He stood by the counter for a minute, resting his head on the shelf. Despite the enormous joy he felt 'cos he was going to be a father, Joey's attitude was killing him. She was really cold and mad at him. And though he was making his best, he had no idea how to fix the mess they were in. He was in.

When he walked into her room, Joey was already tucked into bed. And all of the stuffed monsters he had made for her were around her, like a million extra pillows. Gubler's heart beat harder, knowing she had liked them.

- "Thank you"- she whispered and yawned again.

- "You are welcome"- he left the cup on her bedside table and leaned over to kiss her forehead. The touch of his lips burned on her skin, leaving a warm invisible mark she could still feel, though he had moved them from her.

- "See you tomorrow"- she managed to say, her voice unsure 'cos Matthew was still close to her, his nose almost touching hers.

- "Want me to pick you up?"

- "I can drive."

- "I am aware of that, but if you haven't been feeling well in the mornings, won't you rather if I pick you up and take you over. Maybe I can also get you some breakfast?"- Joey yawned again and moved to fix her pillow, forcing Matthew to give her some space.

- "See you here at nine?"- she asked, and he nodded.

- "At nine it is. Sleep tight."

- "Thank you"- he wanted to kiss her, she wanted to kiss him. But both knew it wasn't possible. And so he stood up from her bed slowly.

- "See you tomorrow"- he said from the door frame of her room and walked away.

Joey waited to hear the front door closing to break in tears. She had been holding them back since she saw him knocking at her door hours earlier. She thought she could get over him, but now it was clear for her, she was never going to stop loving him.

- "You fool! He is going to be the love of your life and the father of your baby..."

The young woman sat on the bed, hugging a pillow. She kept doing her best to collect herself, but tears kept falling from her eyes. It didn't get better when she turned to her little bedside table to grab her cup of tea and saw the box with the ring and the heart on it, with a note.

- "Even in the grave, all is not lost"- she read out loud and sobbed. - "Stop quoting Poe!!"- Joey laid back in her bed, hugging tight the pillow and staring at one of the stuffed monsters. Matthew was too hard to hate and too hard to get over. How was she going to deal with all her feelings?

Matthew closed the door behind his back and rested his back against it. The tears that fell from his eyes weren't enough to express the sadness he was feeling. He was going to be a dad, and that encouraged him to fight for the woman he loved. But he felt her coldness, her anger. Her deception.

- "If only she could see I feel the same, I'm angry, and I'm disappointed in myself, but I will do everything I can to win back her trust."

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, not able to move from her door, dying to go back inside and hold her, kiss her and never let her go again. But he couldn't. He had to do things right. And to do so, the actor had a plan, the one he had started creating after his accident, and that now he knew he had to fulfill to be happy again.

Gerard sat in his backyard and smoked a cigarette. His wife was doing the dishes after dinner, and all he could think of was going back to bed and sleeping until he had to go back touring. He was weary, and all the thinking and mental whining he had been through in the last week was killing him. He just wanted to stop thinking. He also wanted to stop feeling like scum, but he found it impossible, especially after having sex with his wife, picturing Joey the whole time.

- "For Christ's sake! Stop it! She is having someone else's baby! Let her go!"- he reached the back of his neck and pulled his hair pretty hard.

- "What are you doing? I thought you'd be in bed already"- Lynz walked over him and lit a cigarette.

- "I wanted to smoke one last cigarette"- she sat next to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

- "I missed you."

- "I missed you too, baby."

- "Are you going to be free and just for me all these days you are home?"

- "I am"- he smiled and kissed the top of her head- "The only thing we have in schedule is making the Planetary video, but that's a one-day thing when the guys get here."

- "Are you doing the live thing?"

- "Yeah, just pretend to play, three hours work and then keep on resting, I'm so tired"- he closed his eyes and sighed.

- "Well, I am here, and I am ready to spoil you all the time I've got you for me."

- "I am always for you"- he answered in a low voice, making her shiver and bit her lips in a smile.

- "I know, but you are never here"- Gerard wrapped his arm around his wife as the two of them cuddled on a comfy couch in their backyard, smoking in silence.

- "Are you coming with me on this tour?"

- "I don't know, you didn't seem so happy to have me in Japan."

- "No way!"- Gerard quickly said and moved to look into his wife's eyes- "I loved having you there. I was just afraid you would get bored and feel neglected 'cos I was stuck at work every day."

- "Which I did."

- "See?"- Lynz sighed and looked up at the stars- "I would love to have you with me these following dates."

- "Really?"- Lynz smiled, like a little girl- "I think I can make time to go with you for a few dates."

- "The end of this leg is in New York on the 23rd. We could stay there until I have to go to Boston."

- "I love that idea, baby"- Lynz kissed her husband's cheek and sighed.

- "I missed you so much."

- "I missed you more."

Maybe having Lynz around was going to be helpful. She would be his earth, and he would gravitate around her and not around the drummer. He had to make amends with his wife and be a better husband. And he had to stop thinking about Joey. She wasn't his. She wasn't for him. It was useless to fight. He had been rejected way too many times already.

::: Los Angeles, March 22nd, 2011 :::

Matthew knocked at Joey's door at nine o'clock. He took her some of her favorite cinnamon rolls and a natural and fresh orange juice. But she didn't answer. He knocked again, but nothing. And though he didn't really want to trespass her space, he was worried something might have happened to her, so he opened the door with his key and slowly stepped in.

- "Joey?"- he whispered and looked around. There seemed to be no movement in the whole place- "Joey, are you awake?"

- "Here"- a soft voice answered from the bathroom, and Matthew ran to see her. She was sitting next to the toilet, already dressed and ready to go, but unable to stop puking.

- "Are you ok?"- he whispered and kneeled next to her.

- "Yeah, sure, I just love puking"- she answered and raised an eyebrow, but whatever she was going to add at that snarky comment was interrupted by her retching. Matthew held her hair back and caressed her forehead sweetly as she vomited.

- "Better?"- Gubler whispered, and she nodded. He stood up and looked for her mouthwash, helped her stand up, and smiled.

- "Thank you"

- "It's nothing"- he looked at her, his heart growing in his chest- "If I could be the one getting the morning sickness during this whole pregnancy, I would"- Joey raised an eyebrow and rinsed her mouth.

- "Believe me, it's not as fun as it looks like."

Matthew just stared at her, thinking she had his kid growing inside. Just that thought made him love her twice as much as he had ever felt.

- "I'm sorry I stepped into your apartment. I didn't know if you were ok and I got worried."

- "It's ok"- she whispered and cleared her throat- "Is that cinnamon rolls I smell?"- Matthew grinned and nodded.

- "And fresh orange juice, if you feel like it. I can also get you some herbal tea."

- "Just the rolls would be nice"- Joey stood in front of her ex-boyfriend and sighed- "Do I look like a mess?"

- "You are even more beautiful than you were yesterday"- he answered and smiled shyly. She nodded, regretting ever asking, and looked at herself in the mirror

- "It's the best I can do under the circumstances, and we don't have time to spare, so let's go?"- Joey walked past Matthew, and he followed her.

Another awkward ride. Joey sighed and closed her eyes, fighting the mix of urges that filled her body: eating another cinnamon roll or rolling down the window and puke. Matthew didn't know what to say; he was actually very nervous about being with her and about having an appointment so important. How was that going to be like? What were they going to do there? Were they going to show him his baby? Was it ok for Joey to keep on touring pregnant? Should he ask the doctor about it? Would she get mad if he asked? There was too much in his brain. But instead of thinking about it, again and again, Gubler simply asked her.

- "How did you sleep?"

- "Well"- Joey answered and stayed quiet, taking a deep breath.

- "Are you still jet-lagged?"

- "I think..." - she murmured and took another deep breath.

- "I read that the hormonal changes during pregnancy can make you fatigue."

- "Cool"- Joey closed her eyes and whispered- "Pullover!"

- "What?"

- "Pullover!"- Matthew hadn't even completely stopped the car when the young woman opened the door and started puking.

- "Shit!"- Gubler moved quickly closer to her, pulling her hair back and caressing her bare arm- "It's ok... breath."

- "Fuck"- she whimpered and cleared her throat- "Do you have anything I can clean myself with?"- Matthew looked around and grabbed a bunch of napkins from the cinnamon roll paper bag.

- "Here"

- "Fuck"- the drummer repeated and sighed- "I think I puked a little in the car."

- "It's ok, I don't care. Do you feel better?"- she nodded and sighed, closing her eyes, as she felt Matthew's finger running down her hair sweetly. She wanted to argue and ask him to stop, but she really felt bad, and it was soothing to feel him touching her so lightly.

- "That's all that matters"- he made a pause and looked around in his backpack in the back seat- "Gum?"

- "Thanks"- she accepted it and closed her eyes again.

- "Wanna stay here for a while and rest? Get some air until your stomach settles?"

- "No, we are gonna be late. I'll just keep my eyes closed the rest of the way."

- "Sure?"

- "Yeah"- Joey closed her eyes, and Matthew started driving again, slowlier- "By the way, I'm not eating cinnamon rolls until further notice"- the actor smiled and caressed Joey's leg, but she moved his hand away quickly.

- "Sorry."

- "And I don't want you to think 'cos we are doing this together means I forgive you for what happened"- her voice was severe, not mad or mean, but cold.

- "I don't want you to think 'cos you are not going to forgive me, I am going to stop trying"- he replied calmly. If Joey had her eyes opens, she would have seen the little smile that appeared at the corner of Matthew's lips.

- "You should quit, you are wasting your time, and I'm not telling you that to encourage you to continue. I am not going to forgive you for cheating on me."

- "I am going to keep on trying until I die"- Joey sighed.

- "You are wasting your time."

- "No, I am not."

The rest of the ride was quiet. Neither of them said a word, and the radio was the only sound that filled the car. The doctor made them wait less than five minutes and invited them into his office. Joey felt her knees shake as she stood up. Matthew landed his arm around her lower back and walked slowly with her. Again, she moved away from him, but Gubler didn't stop and softly landed his hand on her back. He needed to feel her as much as she needed him. She just kept fighting against it.

- "Hello, nice to meet you"- Matthew said and reached out for the doctor's hand- "Matthew Gray Gubler."

- "Dr Rick Harper, nice to meet you."

Joey thanked the gynecologist didn't ask if he was his boyfriend. She didn't want to start thinking about that issue when she was about to do something more important.

- "María Josefina, I haven't seen you since your last check-up in September"- the doctor said smiling- "What brings you here today?"

- "Yes, I..."- the girl stuttered as she tried to find the words to explain what she was doing there. It wasn't hard, but just saying it out loud was frightening- "I think I'm pregnant"- she managed to whisper. Matthew smiled and nodded.

- "I see"- Dr. Harper smiled- "When was your last period?"

- "January..."- the girl confessed, feeling embarrassed for some unknown reason.

- "Did you do a home test?"

- "Two, both positive."

- "Well, I think it is most likely to say that you are expecting, but we are gonna do some check-ups to confirm. Come with me"- Joey stood up and followed the doctor to a gynecologist's chair. Her body shivered at the thought of what he was going to do to her.

- "So those tests are really accurate?"- she whispered and frowned, scared.

- "Almost 100%, we will do an ultrasound to see your baby. Please go change to the bathroom, there's a clean robe on the shelf"- she took a deep breath and did as told- "I am going to assume you are the father"- Dr. Harper said and smiled at Matthew.

- "Yes, I am."

- "Excited?"

- "Incredibly"- and his grin was so honest.

- "Good, it's good to know when the father is fully on board with a growing family."

- "I've always wanted to be a father, so this is a dream come true for me"- Joey heard him over the door as she quickly stripped and put on the robe.

- "Fucking Matthew, being all sweet and adorable even when I hate him"- but the truth was, Joey nearly melted with every reaction the young man had. She had never seen anyone as thrilled about being a dad like he was.

- "Ok, Joey, sit down and put your legs on the legs section"- the young woman pouted. She hated that part. Even Matthew winced, thinking about what his girl was going to go through during the whole pregnancy.

- "Don't worry, honey, you won't feel a thing, I promise. It's gonna be a little cold, but that's all"- she nodded and felt the doctor do as he had said.

He started scanning Joey's abdomen slowly, making soft movements on her skin. The image of Joey's inner belly appeared on a little screen, and Matthew moved closer to the young woman to take a look with her.

- "Is everything ok?"- he asked, not getting a thing of what was happening on the screen

- "Everything is perfect... do you see that little bean there?"- he said, pointing at what seemed to be a spot in the picture- "Congratulations, that's your baby!"

Neither Joey nor Matthew were able to say a word. The two of them had their eyes glued at the ultrasound screen. The girl slowly moved her hand and found Matthew's, who held it tight, barely breathing. He was staring at his baby, their baby. His whole life dream was there, on that tiny picture. The sweet and fast sound of a heart beating filled the air.

- "That's your baby's heart. It seems to be in perfect health. It measures 0.9 inches and weighs .07 ounces"- Dr. Harper smiled at them and walked to another table- "I'm gonna print you a copy of your ultrasound, the first official picture of your baby."

Joey wouldn't stop staring. It was real; she was pregnant. There was no way to deny it. She was going to be a mom. Matthew's sobs took her from her thoughts. He was crying, and so was she. The doctor walked outside of the office for a moment to give them some space.

- "We are gonna be parents"- Joey whispered, and Matthew chuckled, wiping off the tears from his face with his sleeves.

- "Yes, we are"- they both looked at the screen again, at their little baby- "So tiny"- Joey couldn't answer, 'cos it was hard for her to stop crying. Gubler moved to her and ran the pads of his thumbs under her eyes, wiping away the tears that kept falling from her eyes.

- "We are gonna be parents, and we are a fucking mess"- she whispered, and Matthew shook his head right away

- "No, no, Yami. We are gonna be parents, and we are going to be ok. We are going to go through this together. Whatever happens, we are gonna love this baby more than anything and anyone in the whole world, ok?"

His brown coffee eyes looked at her with such love and devotion, Joey couldn't even answer. He cupped her face with both hands sweetly and landed a kiss on her forehead.

At that moment, the doctor walked into the room and smiled at the young couple- at least for him, they were a lovely couple.

- "Ok, now that we are certain, let's do a quick check-up."

Dr. Harper carefully, and under the supervision of Matthew, who couldn't stop looking at Joey for a second, checked the woman's heart, lungs, and breasts. He also measured her blood pressure and noted her height and weight. He also did a pelvic exam and an assessment of the size of her uterus and the size and shape of her pelvis.

When he was done, he invited them to sit with him by his desk. Joey walked back to the bathroom to change and walked over to the doctor to meet him and Matthew.

- "Ok, we are going to run some blood tests too, to know how's your health going, 'cos you are going to start taking much more care of you now, ok?"- and the young woman nodded, her hand held by Matthew's, who caressed it sweetly.

- "I've been trying to cut out the sugar."

- "Good, that's a great start. We are going to do a blood sugar test, 'cos gestational diabetes is very common, unfortunately. Also, we will know your blood type and check for rubella immunity, anemia, HIV, hepatitis B, or syphilis"- the girl wide opened her eyes- "Don't be afraid; it's a routine check-up in every pregnancy."

- "Ok..."

- "Now tell me, have you been feeling morning sickness?"

- "Yes, heavy morning sickness"- Joey answered right away- "I puke at home before we came, and in the way over."

- "I'm sorry, but it's normal to experience morning sickness during the first trimester."

- "I know..."

- "Some women feel better if they eat saltine crackers, dry toast, or dry cereal to calm their stomachs at breakfast. I recommend you have a lot of fluids and when you feel nauseated, eat bland foods rice, bananas, gelatin, or ice pops"- Matthew opened his backpack and started writing down everything the doctor said, making him and Joey smile for a second.

- "I've also been very fatigue these last weeks, but I thought that was mere 'cos I've been working a lot."

- "Are you still recording local bands?"

- "No, I am actually touring with a band"- the doctor turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

- "Do you have to do any hard labor?"

- "No, I just play drums, but we travel a lot. We are on a break for the next ten days, or so, then we have another month on the road across the states and some Canada"- Dr. Harper nodded and wrote that down. Gubler was hoping he would tell her to stop touring, but the doctor didn't.

- "Do you remember the exact date of your last period?"- Joey closed her eyes, trying to think. Matthew grabbed his phone and looked for a calendar.

- "I think it was the first week of January, the day before your parents got here to see our house"- he said, making sure he mentioned the house they had bought- "You argued you were going to be all swollen to show them around and I laughed of you"- Matthew smiled as Joey stared at him remembering the moment perfectly.

- "So that was January 3rd"- the young woman concluded, and Dr. Harper nodded.

- "This means you most likely got pregnant the week of the 17th of January, given or taken a few days from the 14th day of your period. Which means you are 9 weeks pregnant"- Matthew held his breath and bit his lips. He didn't know what to do; he was literally dying to run outside and scream on top of his lungs he was going to be a dad. But somehow, he controlled himself.

- "Wow"- that was all that came from his mouth.

- "Nine weeks means..."- Joey made a pause and started counting- "That our baby is gonna be born in late October?"

- "Yes, around the week of the 24"- Harper answered, looking at his calendar.

- "A Halloween baby?!"- Gubler couldn't control it anymore. He jumped from his chair, making Joey chuckle- "We are gonna have a baby for Halloween?!"- Matthew was in shock but hyperventilated at the very same time. His eyes were once again shining, filled with happy tears- "I just! When you thought this couldn't be better! Our baby! A Halloween baby!!"

Joey nodded, smiling, but the doctor interrupted their excitement and looked at the soon-to-be mom.

- "Now, about your work"- and that's when it got serious- "I'm worried all the traveling and concerts might be too risky for you and the baby"- Joey froze.

- "What?"

- "The first trimester is when there are more chances to have a spontaneous abortion. If you have an agitated life, you'll need to take some extra care."

- "What do you mean? do I have to quit?"- Joey widened her eyes and got scared- "Because I need to work. I don't know if you just noticed, but I'm having a baby!"

Matthew doubted if it was a good idea to step into that conversation. He wanted to be on her good side, but he was worried about the safety of his baby.

- "No, you don't have to quit now, you just have to be careful these next weeks, but you are gonna have to analyze what's gonna happen in the next months"- Dr. Harper smiled and did his best to keep Joey calmed

- "Yes, we don't have to decide anything today."

Gubler turned to the young girl and smiled to ease her mind, though he knew that would be a huge fight 'cos Joey wasn't going to give in easily.

- "Today is about having a check-up, doing the test, and maybe getting something for that morning nausea"- he kept his eyes on her, doing his best to calm her down. Surprisingly, it helped.

The young ex-couple walked out of the clinic holding a folder with medical instructions, a prescription for vitamins, and another for nausea. But most importantly, a picture of their baby. They sat in the car and sighed. Both of them were slightly exhausted. It had been quite a ride so far, and it was nearly noon.

- "Are you hungry?"- Gubler asked, and Joey nodded.

- "Very."

- "Wanna grab some lunch with me?"- the girl was about to accept when her phone rang.

- "Hey, bróðir!"- Matthew sighed and started the car. Things had been very good for him so far, but the thought of Mikey Way meant nothing but an argument. He knew Way hated him, and it was clear as soon as the two of them were face to face, things were not going to be nice.

- "So? How was it?"

- "Nine weeks!"- Joey nearly shrieked and jumped on her seat, clearly excited- "I've got a picture of the bean! the baby's first picture!"

- "I'm stopping later to see it then! And how's everything with that jerk?"- Joey looked at Matthew and nodded.

- "Ok"

- "Ok? he is there with you?"

- "Exactly"

- "Want me to kill him?"- and the young woman just smiled.

- "Nah, my baby needs a father"- and Matthew frowned. Yeah, Mikey hated him. And a part of him wanted to hate Mikey back, but he always took care of Joey when he didn't. He couldn't be mad at him because he knew he was just doing his best friend/brother's job.

- "Your baby already has an uncle Mikey. Nothing on earth is better than uncle Mikey."

- "Yeah! Sure! And what are you doing?"

- "I've got a whole day planned! I'm gonna roll in bed, play video games and ask for some take-out. Wanna come?"

- "I'll pass this time, Milky Way, I'm not feeling that good today. I already puked the whole morning, and right now, I am about to fall asleep in the car."

- "You are not driving, right?"

- "No, relax. I just wanna go home and get in bed for the whole afternoon."

- "Ok, text me if you want to meet later, ok? and remember he is a shitted mother fucker who broke your heart"- the girl smiled and said yes, then hung up and sighed.

- "Are you really that sleepy?"- Matthew asked her and looked at Joey resting her head on the passenger seat.

- "Yeah, I'm exhausted and hungry, and maybe a little mad."

- "Why mad?"- the woman sighed and kept her eyes closed as Matthew drove through Los Angeles.

- "Because I'm gonna have to quit my job eventually."

- "But not now"- Gubler answered and smiled, though she wasn't looking- "And at this moment right now, I don't think that's something you should be concerned about. All your worries must be centered on what you want for lunch, just tell me, and I'll take you there."

The drummer sighed and kept her eyes shut; it was easier to be mean and cold at Matthew when she wasn't looking at him.

- "You know, it's been hard enough being around you for a day. Why don't you just drop me at my house and we'll talk tomorrow? Or even better, never"- and the young man didn't even try to fight her.

- "I'll drive you to your house then"- Joey half-opened her eyes and stared at him driving.

- "Why isn't he arguing? Did he give up already? I'm not complaining. That would make things easier."

The actor seemed to be lost in thoughts as he drove, licking his lips from time to time. Joey closed her eyes one more time and fell asleep in a matter of minutes.

When Joey woke up, it was four-thirty in the afternoon, and her stomach was growling. She was a little lost. How did she get to her room? The last thing she remembered was being in the car with Matthew, and he was swearing under his breath as they hit a bump on the road. Nothing after that. She sat on her bed and yawned. The house smelled delicious, like... lasagna?

Did she cook and didn't even remember that?

Joey stood up slowly and walked outside her room. Someone was in her kitchen. She knew intruders wouldn't steal her belongings and cook in retribution, so there was only one option left.

- "Hey! You are up!"- Matthew greeted her with a loving smile as she stood at the kitchen door- "I was about to wake you up. Lunch is ready. Are you hungry?"

She nodded, still half asleep, and looked at him taking a lasagna from the oven and setting it on the counter. The sound of Joey's stomach growling made him chuckle.

- "Very hungry"- she added and walked with the actor to the dining room. He had set the table- "Thank you for everything"- she whispered, sitting down, thinking the last thing she had said to him was that she didn't want to see him or talk to him. And there he was.

- "It's nothing, now eat"- Matthew didn't have to say that twice, as soon as he put the food in front of Joey, she nearly wolfed it down.

- "Wait. There was nothing in the fridge. How did you make this?"

- "Well..."- but before he could answer, she frowned and talked again.

- "How did I get on my bed?"

- "I carried you"- he answered simply and took a bite of his food- "You were weary 'cos you didn't even move"- she widened her eyes looking at him- "And then I noticed there was nothing to eat and you were going to wake up hungry, so I rode to the store, got you some groceries, came back and cooked."

Matthew said as it wasn't a big deal. In a normal context, it would be nothing, but being broken up and having Joey rejecting everything about him made it seem like he had put a lot of effort into her wellbeing. The girl looked at him feeling her cheeks burning red. She wanted to be mean, but she couldn't at that moment. Though she was mad, he wasn't listening every time she asked him to leave her alone. Instead, he just kept taking care of her. And she hated to be taken care of. Or at least she kept saying she hated it. The truth was, it didn't really feel that bad at the moment.

- "Thank you"- she managed to say and kept eating. There was a silence between them. The radio was the only sound in the whole house. That's why the knock on the door surprised them both.

- "I'll get it"- Matthew said and stood up- "I'll go get you some dessert too"- Joey nodded and finished her salad. Gubler opened the door and stayed still for a second.

- "What the fuck are you doing here?"- Joey heard and gasped. Mikey walked into the house and pushed Matthew back, nearly yelling- "Get your shit and leave before I smash your head against the wall!"- but Gubler raised his arms and held them up in surrender.

- "Mikey, I know you are mad at me, but there's no need to get violent, ok?"

- "No need? No fucking need? What the fuck do you know? You have no idea how badly I've been waiting to fucking break your fucking face!"

- "Mikey!"- Joey said and stood up from the table- "Mikey, calm down, ok?"- Way turned to her friend and frowned.

- "Bug, you know I have to. He can't be here with you. He fucked everything up. How can you even see his face?"- Mikey was right

- "You know deep down I want you to break his face 'cos he totally deserves it, but..."- unfortunately for Matthew, Way didn't let his friend finish her sentence.

- "Your wishes are my commands, Bug"- Mikey raised his fist and hit Gubler's cheek, right where he had the car crash bruises.

- "No!!"- Joey grabbed Mikey's hand and stood right between him and Matthew.

- "You can't defend him! He fucking destroyed you! You know that!"- those words hurt Gubler more than the hit on his jaw- "He cheated! He got you sick! He deserves much more than just a simple punch!"

Mikey tried to move around Joey to continue the fight, but she didn't let him.

- "I know! But I don't want you to hit him!"- she quickly said and grabbed her friend's arms.

- "Stop defending him!"

- "I'm not defending him! I'm just saying this is my fucking fight! Not yours!"

- "Don't say that!"- now Mikey was looking at Joey in shock and anger- "I was there, and I saw you! Don't think for even a second that I am going to stand here arms crossed watching how this shit head ruins your life again!"

- "Mikey! Man! Calm down!"- Matthew tried to talk, but Way didn't let him.

- "I'm not gonna calm down until you get the fuck out of here!"

- "This ain't your house! You can't kick me out!"- Gubler answered, getting tired of the bassist's attitude.

- "Stop it!! The two of you! This is my fucking house, and I say who stays, who leaves, and right now I'm telling you to stop fighting!"- Joey yelled, her face red in anger. Matthew took a step back and nodded.

- "I'm sorry, the last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable or upset."

- "Too little too late for that, asshole!"- Way replied, eyes filled with anger and pure hate.

- "Mikey! Stop it!"- Joey looked at her friend and bit her lips not to say anything she might regret later- "I feel like the shit, a doctor fucking put an apparatus through my vagina, and I've got three different needles pricks in both arms 'cos they had to fucking drain half my blood for way too many blood test! I don't have the energy or the will to deal with you two fighting today! So fucking stop it!"- Way gulped and nodded slowly.

- "Sorry, Bug"- he whispered and looked at Matthew. Gubler didn't move his eyes from Joey's face. Every word that came from Mikey's lips reminded him of all the pain he had put the woman he loved through. Matthew deserved way worse than just a punch. He could actually ask Mikey to go downstairs and let him kill him. He felt like scum.

- "I'm sorry. I gonna take off so you can rest"- Matthew murmured, and Joey nodded at him- "I left you some molten lava cakes you liked in the kitchen, the medicine for the morning sickness is in the bathroom cabinets with the vitamins, and I stocked you up with some things for dinner and breakfast, including the crackers the doctor said might help you with nausea."

- "Thank you"- the young woman murmured, relaxing a little bit, now that Mikey wasn't trying to kill her ex.

- "Anything you need, you can text me"- she nodded again and watched him walk a step closer to her. She shivered only with the thought of his touch, so she quickly took a step back, and he stopped moving. He took a deep breath, licked his lips slowly, and put a shy short smile on his lips- "Bye."

- "Bye"- Joey replied and followed him with her eyes until he disappeared through the door.

There had never been such a tense silence between Mikey and his friend before. He felt like he had fucked it up. He knew he had fucked it up. And now, he didn't know how to deal with Joey's angry face.

She turned around and returned to the table to clean the dishes. Mikey stood there and looked at her, thinking what to say.

- "Let me help you"- he murmured and walked in and cleaned the dishes. Joey didn't reply. She grabbed a molten lava cake and walked back to the living room, turned on the television, and surfed through the channels.

- "I'm sorry"- Mikey whispered and looked at her from the kitchen door.

- "I know, I knew that was going to happen eventually. I just wasn't ready to face it today"- the young woman answered with a calm and tired voice.

- "Can I get you something?"

- "Herbal tea would be great"- Mikey walked back to the kitchen. Joey took a short bit of the dessert Matthew had brought her and looked at the chocolate falling from the center of the cake. That's how she felt every time she saw him. Melting.

- "Wanna walk me through the day?"- Way asked and sat next to her with a cup of tea and one of coffee for him.

- "Short version or long version?"

- "Give me all you've got, I can I take it."

- "Ok, but not yelling or anything."

- "You forgave him?"- Mikey turned to her in shock, and Joey frowned, not taking her eyes from the screen as she continued surfing channels.

- "No way, José! He was just adorable, and it was hard to stay as mad as I should be with him!"

- "That's why he is so adorable!"

- "I know, brother... but it feels so sincere, and he is so thoughtful, honestly thoughtful. Even before I told him about the baby, he was... dude, he saw me, and he started crying."

- "He's an actor. He can fake it"- Mikey said snarkily, making Joey think about it.

- "I don't know, it didn't feel fake... and today, dude, this guy was..."

- "A cheater! So stop defending him."

Matthew was drawing late that night. He was home alone. Though some of his friends had invited him out for dinner, he didn't feel like going out. He hadn't been out since his birthday, and that was ok. He didn't feel like it. Some twisted part of him thought he didn't even deserve any kind of fun anymore for being such a bad person.

And so he drew over and over again the little bean he saw on the doctor's screen. He couldn't stop making sketches of his baby in Joey's belly. It was the thought that made him feel hope and strength to go on with his mission. The ding of his phone made him jump suddenly.

- "Thanks for the bath bombs"- he read and held his breath

- "I thought you might like to relax a little before going to bed,"- he quickly replied and waited patiently for a reply. It took Joey a few minutes to write it down.

- "Stop being so nice, I'm not gonna forgive you"- and somehow, he smiled.

- "Stop trying to stop me. I am always going to fight for you."

And Joey didn't reply.

::: Los Angeles, March 24th, 2011 :::

The phone ringing woke Matthew up around six in the morning. He didn't even open his eyes when he picked up.

- "Uhmm?"- that was all the sound he could make, still pretty much asleep.

- "Matthew, I'm bleeding"- but Joey's words were enough to wake him up and have him sitting on his bed, eyes wide open in a second.

- "Don't move! I'll be right there, just stay on the phone with me, ok?"- Joey nodded though Matthew couldn't see her. She slowly wrapped her blankets around her and hugged the pillow.

- "Ok... I'm sorry I woke you up."

- "Don't be, never be sorry to wake me up"-

Gubler threw on some pants and a t-shirt, didn't even bother to fix his hair, and ran out of his apartment.

- "Does it hurt?"

- "No, I went to the bathroom and noticed my undies were stained."

- "Ok, it's ok, I'm sure it's completely normal"- Matthew lied. He was freaking out. He wished he could teleport and hold her in his arms to make sure she was ok- "So tell me, did you sleep ok?"- he asked, trying to keep her mind busy with anything else.

- "Yeah, I went to bed early 'cos I think I'm still tired from the tour..."

- "And pregnancy can also fatigue you"- Gubler added, driving as fast as possible to her house- "And what did you do yesterday?- he was curious to know 'cos he hadn't talked to her ever since he left her place the day he fought with Mikey. Or Mikey fought him, actually.

- "Literally nothing, except taking a shower and swallowing all the lava cakes you left in the house"- Matthew chuckled- "I also played a little bass and laid on the couch to watch chick flicks."

- "Chick flicks?"

- "Spoiler alert, being pregnant apparently has me in a nonstop period state, where I cry over tv commercials and watch a lot of corny and stupid chick flicks"- the girl closed her eyes, her hands rubbing her belly sweetly the whole time. Matthew smiled, thinking Joey had always had a thing for certain corny movies during her period. After knowing her, he could perfectly recite most of the lines in "Never Been Kissed" and "Ten Things I Hate About You."

- "Let me guess, you are not Josie Grossy anymore"- and she smiled at his words.

- "Tell me, Mr. Know it all, "what is the one thing that could ruin my senior prom?"- and Matthew laughed, getting the reference, knowing the answer, but most of all, feeling the undistinguished warmth inside his heart that he only felt when he was talking with her, even about the most random things.

- "That you would trip on your Barbie heels, and I'd be named prom queen,"- Gubler answered, and Joey chuckled. She was still curled in bed, now hugging one of the stuffed monsters she hadn't taken from her bed.

- "How much time?"

- "Just a few more minutes, Yami."

- "Don't Yami me"- and just like that, their loving moment was over.

- "Sorry"- both of them stayed in silence for a few minutes. Matthew was biting his lips, trying to think of something to say. And Joey was picturing in his head the images of Matthew making out with those girls. It was the only way she could hold her own longings and stop her desire to forgive him.

- "I'm gonna hang up"- she announced- I'll put on some clothes, and I'll wait for you downstairs.

- "Don't wait downstairs. It's cold, and I don't want you to get sick.

- "Call me when you are so I can come down."

- "Ok"- and after those words, Joey dropped the line.

The young woman kept biting her nails as they sat in the emergency room. Matthew kept tapping his feet next to her. Exactly as nervous as she was. When the doctor called out her name, the two of them nearly jumped. They hadn't shared many words after she hung up the phone. A few in the car on the way over to the hospital, and as they waited. Fortunately, the doctor at the ER checked on Joey and smiled.

- "Don't worry, there is nothing wrong with your baby"- and the young parents sighed alleviate- "You might experience some light bleeding these first months."

- "Why?"- Joey asked as she sat and fixed her clothes.

- "During pregnancy, hormones may make your cervix, along with many other things, more sensitive than normal"- the doctor explained- "Anything that might poke at or near the cervix can also irritate it and cause minor bleeding. In your case, it was more likely the transvaginal ultrasound you had this week, and it could also be caused by sex"- he smiled at Gubler, and the actor didn't know how to react, so he just stared awkwardly.

- "So I might bleed during the whole pregnancy?"

- "No, and if it ever happens again, you must call your doctor or come to ER immediately, ok?"- both Joey and Matthew nodded at the same time- "Today, take things easy, stay at home, and rest, ok? Tomorrow you can do your regular day. Remember to avoid working out this first trimester and evaluate all your physical activities with your doctor."

- "Yes, thank you."

- "Remember to finish the paperwork before you leave, have a nice day."

- "Thank you, doctor"- Joey smiled and put on her shoes.

- "I'm gonna go fill those papers, ok? See you outside?"- Matthew whispered, and the girl nodded. As soon as he reached the front desk, three nurses rushed to him and smiled.

- "Hi"- they said at the same time, blushing

- "Hello!"- Matthew answered and smiled- "How are you?"

- "Good."

- "Great"

- "Awesome"- they answered and giggled. Gubler smiled and asked for the papers he had to fill.

- "That's great! Thank you for working this shift! Have you been here all night long?"- he asked, and the three nurses sighed.

- "Yes, we are on our way out at nine"

- "Wow, thank you for working the night shift, I bet it's the worst"- Matthew kept writing and smiling at the women as they stared at him

- "And why are you here? What happened to your face?"

- "I had an accident a few days ago, but nothing to worry about, just a few bruises"- Joey walked over slowly, now that she knew everything was ok, her body was relaxing, and she was dying to get into bed again.

- "Ready?"- she murmured and scratched her eyes, slowly resting her head on his arm, exhausted.

- "Just a second"- he said and caressed her hair for a few moments, mostly 'cos he couldn't help his own movements around her. It took most of his will not to hold her and kiss her the whole time she was with him. One of the nurses looked at the papers Matthew was filling and at Joey next to him.

- "Oh my god! You are gonna be a dad! Congratulations!"- and the three nurses widen their eyes, slightly jealous.

- "Thank you"- Matthew answered, excited people would congratulate him for having a baby with Joey.

- "You are so lucky!!"- another nurse added, looking at the soon-to-be mother. Joey did her best to smile nicely, but she was exhausted, and all she could do was wave and yawn.

- "Thank you. Sorry, I'm just so tired"- she managed to whisper and scratch her eyes again as Matthew kept caressing her hair sweetly.

- "Is everything ok?"- one of the nurses asked her

- "Yes, just a little bleeding, but everything is ok"- and they all nodded until one of them turned to Matthew.

- "Can we have a picture with you?"

- "Sure!"

- "Want me to take it?"- Joey asked, smiling. It wasn't really her first time being the camera girl, helping fans getting pictures with Matthew. It never bothered her at all. Not even under those circumstances. Matthew's fans were way nicer than My Chem's fans, after all. None of them had ever smashed a bottle against her face. Or trashed her on social media. They were all just in love with Matthew, just like her.

- "Damn it! Stop being in love with this cheater!"- she cursed as she snapped a few pictures of Matthew and the nurses, making sure everybody looked good.

- "Thank you so much!!"- one of them said and smiled, looking at the pictures- "And congratulations!"

- "Thank you!"- Matthew smiled, honestly grateful and unconsciously, held Joey's hand as they walked outside the hospital. When he noticed what was going on, they were about to reach the car, and Joey still didn't move it away. He opened the door for her, and the young woman sat down slowly, scared to move too fast.

- "Thank you for driving me. I'm sorry I woke you up"- she said as soon as the actor sat in the driver's seat.

- "Please, don't thank me, I love to do all this with you. I hate to be afraid there's something wrong, but it's our baby, and I am here 24/7 for anything you need"- she nodded and yawned again- "And I'm sensing you need your bed right now."

- "And a grilled cheese sandwich"- she murmured and closed her eyes- "Why is your car so comfortable?"

- "Sleep and rest, I'll take you home."

Joey slept the whole way back to her apartment, and Matthew was ready to carry her upstairs again when she fluttered her eyes, staring at him.

- "What? Where...?"

- "We are home. I didn't want to wake you up."

- "I can walk, don't worry"- she gathered all her things and stepped out of the car, Matthew following her closely. She didn't argue with his company. She had the urge of feeling him near, just as intense as she felt the hate her broken heart reminded her. Both the feelings were so strong all the time, she found it exhausting to argue with any of them.

The young woman tossed the keys on the table, took off her shoes, and walked straight to the bathroom. Matthew didn't even think about it twice and guided himself to the kitchen and started making two grilled cheese sandwiches. Joey laid on her bed, still dressed when he walked over.

- "Hey..."- he whispered, and she rolled on the bed, fluttering her eyes open- "I made you a sandwich."

- "Thank you"- she sat down slowly and held the dish- "I can't decide what I want more if eating or sleeping"- she murmured, scratching her eyes, to take a bite of her melting cheese sandwich

- "You sleep better after you eat something"- he said and bit the one he had made for himself.

- "That's true..."- the girl ate in silence, closing her eyes as she chewed until she was done. Matthew held her dish and put it aside as Joey laid back again and yawned.

- "Can I sleep with you for a while?"- the actor asked, with honest hope the young woman was going to agree. But the silence he received was too deep. Too long. Too much.

- "Matthew"- she whispered after a minute, her eyes still closed- "You cheated on me."

- "And I'll regret for the rest of my life"- desperation filled his murmur as he stared at her.

- "And I won't forget it for the rest of my life either"- her voice was calmed, soft, even peaceful. Like she had come to terms with the situation. That scared Matthew.

- "Joey, I am in love with you"- he whispered and held her hand. She didn't move it away, but he couldn't take that as a good sign.

- "Saying you love me and having oral sex with your ex makes it hard to believe, Matthew."

- "It was a mistake I'm gonna have to carry forever, but I am willing to do anything for you to forgive me, Joey, I mean it"- she sighed and felt how her ex-boyfriend started melting next to her, now wrapping his arms around her, and slowly moving his head closer to hers- "I was drunk, and I missed you, and I thought it was you for a minute"- his arms wrapped tighter around her, her smell washing over him like a drug he knew he needed in order to survive.

- "You hurt me"- Joey whispered, still not rejecting his touch. She wanted and needed to have him near, though she didn't want to admit it, not out loud, not even to herself- "You broke my heart, and you can't undo that."

- "I'm gonna die trying to win your trust again"- he murmured as Joey slowly started drifting off. Matthew's presence, warmth, voice, and even his smell relaxed her and made her feel safe. Even though she hated him deeply 'cos she was hurt, she loved him just as much. And he felt like home. He was still her home.

When Matthew woke up, around an hour later, he felt his heart beating with joy inside his chest. Joey was sleeping safe and sound next to him. She didn't reject him, though she wanted to, and he knew it. It wasn't all lost. He stared at her, carrying his baby inside, and smiled. All he needed in life was there with him on that bed. And he was going to give it all to keep it. To keep her. He leaned over slowly and kissed her forehead gently, then carefully slid out of bed and walked out of the room.

- "I'll see you later, Yami"- he whispered and closed the door behind his back.

He was dying to stay forever, but he knew Joey wasn't going to be happy to see him there when she woke up, and it was better not to push things.

Taglist: @all-tings-diego @worryd0ll

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#Matthew Gray Gubler #mgg #gerard way #mcr #babymetalldoll writes #frank iero #mikey way #ray toro

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babymetaldoll · 3 years ago

Text

Danger Days - Chapter nineteen: "If you're gone (maybe it's time to come home)"

Word count: 16,9K

Summary: Joey is not ready to start touring, but being away from Matthew sounds like a good plan to get over him. But... Matthew has other plans, and he is determined to be forgiven. Gerard is not letting his illusions go either, but he has to realize he is wasting his time.

Warnings: Cursing, there are some arguments, a little angst, and some fluff.

A/N: I'm soft.

Masterlist

::: March 30th, 2011. Los Angeles :::

Frank sighed and looked around. It was early morning, and there was chaos around him. It was video shooting day, and his family was with him at the small indoor venue where MCR was recording the “Planetary Go” music video. Five hundred kids were outside, waiting in line to get there and be part of the show. Meanwhile, inside the arena, his wife and kids hung out with Joey, Ray, and Mikey in the dressing room. They were still waiting for Gerard, who was late, as pretty much always.

- "I brought some things you might need through these next months"- Jamia said to Joey as Frank walked closer- Mostly books and a few maternity shirts I loved.

- "Thank you! I’m gonna need all your help, ‘cos I have no fucking idea what I’m doing."

- "You are gonna be just fine! You have mom material!"- Jamia pointed out as the young woman held Lily in her arms, smiling- "You are glowing"- Joey grinned- "Now tell me everything about, have you seen him? Have you talked to him? Did you tell him?"

The drummer widened her eyes and held her breath for a second. Mikey looked at her and kissed her temple.

- "I’ve seen him, I told him, he is thrilled, he has been..."- she made a pause and tried to find the right words to describe how the last ten days had been for her- "Incredibly caring and supportive. I hate him"- Mrs. Iero frowned.

- "He is making it hard for you to hate him, right?"

- "Awfully! I swear I have to do some exhausting mental work to keep myself from forgiving him each time I see him! It’s awful!"

- "If you want to forgive him…"- Jamia started, but Joey shook her head.

- "No! This is not about forgiving him because I won’t! once a cheater, always a cheater!"

- "Yeah… that’s true."

- "And I don’t trust him!"

- "I know…"

- "And..."

- "It’s ok, Joey. Don’t worry"- Jamia smiled and changed the subject- "Did you tell your parents yet?"

- "No, we are gonna be in Seattle in four days, so I’ll tell them in person."

- "Are they going to the show?"

- "Yeah! They are thrilled! And they want to meet the band, which I know is gonna be weird. I’m so glad you are coming along for this leg."

- "I was dying to come with you, and now you have two babies to get used to"- Joey chuckled, but her happiness was clouded when Gerard walked into the room with Lynz.

Ever since her talk with Mikey, Joey had successfully managed to stay away from Gerard. And the best part: no one had asked if there was something wrong, ‘cos though neither Frank nor Ray knew the details of the story, they both knew there was something definitely wrong in the way Gerard looked at the drummer, and she was clearly awkward around him.

Gerard was in hell, and he knew he deserved it. He had crossed the line, and the distance between him and Joey was the proof. Gerard was afraid even to talk to her, and he felt the wall his brother had created around her. Mikey wasn’t mad at him anymore. He was just worried about him and also a little disappointed. Gerard had always made sure to give him a positive example- even in his darkest times- and suddenly, that whole mess fell upon them.

- "Hey guys!"- Lynz said with a happy face and arms wide open as she walked into the room and started hugging everybody, including Joey, who felt like a whore the second she saw her. She had promised her she was never going to do anything with her husband, and she had failed.

- "Hi Lynz! How are you?"- Joey tried to keep a straight face and smiled.

- "Congratulations! Gerard told me about your baby!"

- "Thank you so much!"- the drummer was making the biggest effort to look happy and natural- "Wanna see the ultrasound?"

Gerard looked at the scene, and his stomach tightened. Joey seemed to be so happy. The drummer gave Frank his daughter and took the ultrasound from her backpack.

- "Hey! I wanna see it too!"- Ray said, moving closer.

- "That little bean is my baby!"- Joey pointed and chuckled- Can you believe that tiny thing is gonna be a person?!

- "Shit!"- Ray sort of mumbled- "It’s so small!"

- "Ok, kids! outfits ready?"- Brian walked into the room and looked at them- "Neither of you is ready, come on! Move! We are late!"

Matthew finished packing and smiled. He wasn’t carrying much, but it was enough to follow Joey for the next eighteen concerts she had with the band, starting march 21st and until April 23rd. His plan was simple: standing in the first row of every show and cheering for the drummer. He wanted to show her how much he loved her, and he was willing to postpone his whole life for her. He had gotten in trouble in his job for doing that, and he didn’t care. He wanted to be with Joey, and he wanted her to know how much he loved her, and if that meant being fired from Criminal Minds, so be it.

He put the eighteen tickets for the shows he had already gotten in an envelope and smiled pleased.

- "This has to work"- he said out loud- "I mean… it has to, ‘cos I don’t know what to do next…"- he grabbed his phone and looked at the hour.

- “Good luck with the video today”- he wrote and sent.

The latest days had been weird for him and Joey. She would accept to see him when it came to things related to the baby, but of course, she would never let him get too close. The nap they had shared had been the last time he had held her in his arms. The rest of the time, she had been distant, and though he had done his best to stay calm and positive, sometimes it scared him to think maybe he was really going to die trying to get her back.

But “weird” didn’t mean bad, though. And Matthew had made the best of the time he had shared with her. He would bring her treats she liked and would call every morning to know how she felt. She always picked up. That was good; it meant she didn’t hate talking to him.

He also took her to see a nutritionist, to help them make a meal plan, considering Joey wasn’t the healthiest person when it came to meals. They also had a conversation with a personal trainer to help her identify the exercises and movements she could do to train and stay fit those first months. Besides, Matthew kept getting thoughtful presents to make her pregnancy more comfortable, and he brought one every day as an excuse to see her, even for a minute. He got her the pregnancy pillow and customized it as one of his stuffed monsters. He got her natural spa products for her bath to help her relax. He even got a tiny drum for the baby. Joey hated him because she couldn’t stay mad at him if he was being so adorable. He bought her so much food she was sure she was getting fat for eating too much and not because of her pregnancy.

- “Thank you”- his phone dinged, and he quickly read the text, smiling.

- “Wanna come for dinner tonight?”- he wrote and held his breath. It was a bold move, but he needed to play all his cards.

- “Better not, I’ve got an early flight.”- she replied. Joey held the phone in her hands tight, locked in the bathroom. She really didn’t have to change for the video, she just had to put on an MCR t-shirt, and she wanted to fix her hair. Joey wasn’t really going to be in many shots anyway, she just was a support player in the back. She couldn’t take the eyes from the phone, though she knew she had to. She was waiting for Matthew’s answer.

- “Can I stop later to say goodbye?”- and a smile lodged on his lips as he wrote those words. Joey had no idea he was going to be on tour. Joey bit her inner lip as she considered the options. She wanted to see him but didn’t want to give him hope, but he was the father of her kid, but… he cheated.

- “I can bring some dinner, in case you get home tired and you don’t want to cook.”

- “Mother fucker!!”- the girl coursed and sighed- “See you at seven.”

- "Yes!!"- Matthew jumped from his bed and danced around his room on his own. He just had to be calmed and try not to fuck it up. He could do that, right?

Lynz kept a good eye during the whole day, trying to see if Joey would look at Gerard, but she didn’t. They didn’t really talk at all. She knew Joey had told her they weren’t close, which made sense with the scene in front of her. It was like Gerard didn’t exist for the drummer.

- “Isn’t that weird too?”- Mrs. Way thought. She could notice Gerard was concentrated entirely on the whole “making the video” process. He kept checking with the director and making sure everything was ok. Joey talked with Mikey and laughed a lot with Ray. Her husband and the young woman never interacted except during the show. Gerard wouldn’t stop going back to the drum and looking at her every time they had to perform. Just like Lynz had seen in the Valencia show. Joey didn’t seem to pay that much attention. She would be playing, their eyes would crush, they would nod, that was it.

- “Ok, if it doesn’t seem to be anything going on, why can’t I shake these thoughts from my head”- the bassist asked herself as she kept staring at her husband performing.

During the break, Joey walked away from the stage and the noise and locked herself in the bathroom again. She checked her cell phone and read.

- “Do you think we could ever get to be friends?”- and she held her breathing, nearly in shock. The text was from Gerard. When the fuck did he text her? He had been there the whole time. She looked around, but she was alone in the bathroom. She reread it, frowning. Why was he texting her? They had managed to spend weeks talking the minimal, and she was completely in favor of keep doing the same for the rest… of her life, basically. And so she didn’t reply. It was clearly easier for her to stay away from Gerard than from Matthew for obvious reasons.

- "Hey!"- Lynz walked into the bathroom and smiled. Joey kept looking at her reflection in the mirror, fixing her makeup- "How are you feeling?"

- "Like I could puke everything I’ve ever eaten, and at the very same time, so fucking hungry"- the drummer answered with a smile- "How have you been? I haven’t seen you since London."

- "Good, busy, thank God. That’s the only way I can stand being apart from Gerard for so long."

- "It was an eternal tour!"- Joey added- "It felt like a lifetime! Are you coming along these following dates?"

- "Yeah! I’ll be there on April 5th, I have to finish a project I’m doing with a friend, and I’ll take a plane to Canada."

- "Awesome!"- Joey was doing her best to be as normal as possible. Besides, she honestly liked Lynz- "You and Jamia! Finally, I’m not gonna be the only woman around! You have no idea how exciting this is for me. I’ve been around guys my whole life, but I really need a break after these last months. I’m actually hoping to have a girl"- Joey guided her hand to her stomach and chuckled.

- "What did Matthew say, by the way?"- the drummer sighed and closed her eyes- "Sorry, I didn’t mean to… Gerard told me what happened between you two."

- "No, don’t worry"- Joey smiled and sighed again- "Matthew is happy with the baby news."

- "That’s good."

- "He is thrilled, actually. He cried when I told him, cried during the ultrasound, cried when he realized the baby due is close to Halloween."- Joey couldn’t help but smile, remembering his face, tears filling his eyes as she told him she was pregnant. She had never imagined he would be so happy.

- "And how is everything between you two?"

- “Did that little shithead tell his wife everything going on in my life or what?!”- the drummer didn’t answer. She felt pretty awkward knowing Lynz was aware of the whole story.

- "Sorry… I didn’t mean to intrude."

- "It’s ok… I…"- Joey scratched the back of her neck, honestly nervous about explaining her mind- I’m sorry, I’m just not really used to talk about things with people.

- "No, please, I was out of place, I just… Gerard was in shock when he told me, and he said you were pretty affected"- Joey nodded and looked down.

- "Yeah, I was a mess, but I’m better now…"- the two of them stayed in silence for a few seconds, that felt like hours- "I should go back"- Joey pointed to the door, and Lynz nodded.

- "I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable"

- "Don’t worry, I’ve got problems communicating with people… not just in this matter"- Joey tried to smile, though she knew she still looked pretty awkward- "It’s a long story."

- "Hey, no need to explain, really"- Lynz opened her arms and hugged her.

Joey didn’t get a thing. Why was she being so nice? Did Lynz want to be her friend? Was she being honest or just trying to be friendly under the circumstances? Did she want to get closer to her to know if she was crushed on Gerard? There were too many questions around Joey’s head, and she didn’t have the time or the energy to try to find an answer to any of them. She just hugged Lynz back and cut her a friendly smile.

The whole recording process took the entire morning and part of the afternoon. By the time they were done- and gave the kids in the audience a short show of five songs - the band and their families were ready to go home.

- "Bug, we are gonna go grab dinner together. Wanna come?"- Mikey wrapped an arm around Joey and kissed her temple as they all grabbed their things in the dressing room.

- "I’m too tired. I wanna go home."

- "Want me to go with you? Ask for some take-out? Maybe from the Vietnamese place you wanted to try, watch a movie… you know, rest before the tour that’s coming, what do you say?"- Joey smiled but declined.

- "I have plans…"- Mikey raised an eyebrow and nodded.

- "You are gonna see Gubler"- and by the tone in his voice, she knew he wasn’t happy with the news.

- "He is gonna drop by to say goodbye."

- "Sure… are you sure you are ok with him?"

- "What do you mean?"

- "You have been hanging out with him a lot."

- "No, I haven’t!"

- "Name one day this week you haven’t seen him"- Mikey furrowed his brows and crossed his arms on his chest, staring at the drummer.

- "Today?"- she answered, thinking.

- "See?"

- "He keeps bringing presents for the baby. What am I going to say? Stop being such a good dad?"

The whole band was overhearing the conversation. They were all pretty nosey, actually. And the whole Matthew/Joey drama was their favorite subject at the moment.

- "He ain’t trying to be a good dad! He is trying to win you over! Are you gonna let him break your heart again?"

That escalated quickly. Joey stood in front of his friend, not knowing what to say. Lucky for her, Lynz was the one to talk next.

- "Are you jealous, Mikey?"- though her words weren’t really the best to be spoken at the moment. The bassist looked at his sister in law almost in shock, nearly insulted.

- "Not jealous, worried. I am concerned about her ‘cos I don’t want her to get hurt again, is that a fucking sin or what?"

- "No, it’s not! I’m just asking ‘cos you sound like a jealous boyfriend worried his girlfriend is gonna cheat or whatever."

Joey hated Lynz’s comment, every single word in it, ‘cos it was meant to start a fight. Had she said it with those intentions?

- “No, she didn’t… did she? Is she trying to know if Mikey and I are into anything? No, stop being paranoid!”

- "I’m not jealous, Lynz"- Mikey’s words were cold as he responded with a serious face- "I’m just worried and taking care of her. That’s what friends do."

- "Sorry! There’s no need to get all serious."

- "Ok, dinner?"- Ray clapped and tried to lighten the mood- "Let’s go before Frank gets all cranky."

They all nodded and started walking. Gerard made sure to stay a little behind as his wife talked with Jamia and moved closer to Joey.

- "You didn’t answer my text"- he whispered, and the drummer froze in shock, even a little scared. Why was he talking to her? They had managed to spend weeks without saying a word directly to each other. Why did he decide to talk to her the only day they had been around his wife?

- "Sorry, I’ve been busy"- Joey mumbled and started walking quickly to get away from him.

- "And would we ever be friends?"- Gerard asked, following her and talking under breath, making sure no one except her could hear him.

- "Sure, if you stop saying nonsenses, we can be friends."

- "Nonsenses? You mean telling you that I love you?"- the young woman widened her eyes and turned to him immediately.

- "Don’t say that! Ever again!"

- "But I do. I am in love with you, Sugar."

- "And that’s why we can’t be friends"- Joey sentenced and walked to her car, never looking back. She said goodbye to the rest of the band, kissed Cherry and Lily a few times each, and drove home.

- “What the fuck Gerard?!”- she yelled inside her head- “What the fuck is his problem?! His wife was right here? And he keeps telling me that he loves me? is he stupid? Has the stress affected his brain functions? Did he start drinking again?”.

There was no explanation for his behavior, and it freaked Joey out, ‘cos a new leg of the tour was starting the day after, and she didn’t want to face it that way. She didn’t want to travel with Lynz knowing her husband was trying to get into her pants again.

Again, that was the worst part. Joey felt like a whore knowing what had happened with Gerard. She didn’t want to even think about it, but the image kept coming to her mind. His lips on her, kissing her jawline, her neck, her breast… If she hadn’t thought he was Matthew, would she have let him go on? If she wasn’t in love with her ex, would she had sex with Gerard, even knowing he was married?

The answer could actually scare her, ‘cos it was against everything she had ever believed in. But she thought it was possible. The only thing that kept her from having sex with Gerard was that she was in love with Matthew.

If she had sex with Gerard, would she stop loving Matthew? The girl shook her head, frowning, disgusted by her own thoughts. That was never going to be a good idea.

Gerard was in silence, staring at the food in front of him. He didn’t want to eat. He didn’t want to be there. He could hear his friends talking, his wife laughing, but all his mind could register was the fact Joey was now in her apartment with Gubler. With the guy he hated the most in the whole world. With the guy Gerard wanted to be. The guy he was jealous of. The one she loved instead of him. Just the thought of what could happen between them made him sick in the stomach.

Was she going to forgive him? Was she going to have sex with him? Was she going to marry him after all? Matthew was going to be with her that night. He was going to make her laugh, he was going to lean over her slowly and whisper sweet words in her ear. He was gonna make her blush, he was going to get her wet and cream her undies.

The singer shook his head and tried to think of anything else. But he couldn’t.

- "Are you ok?"- his wife asked, frowning- "You haven’t had a bite."

- "I’m not hungry"- Way whispered and tried his best to cut her a nice natural, all innocent smile.

- "Sure?"- Lynz touched his forehead in case he had a temperature, but he was ok- "Do you want to go home and rest?"- the singer nodded right away

- "Yes, I think I need to lay down for a while."

- "Ok, I’ll tell the guys."

Gerard was full of it. But going home and locking himself in his studio sounded like a nice idea. At least there, no one could see him freaking out over the idea of Joey being with someone else but him.

Matthew counted to ten as he stood outside his car and took three deep breaths to calm himself down. He had done the same, like a mantra, each time he walked into Joey’s apartment those days. He had to control himself from running over, from making a mistake. He had to make sure he wasn’t going to mess it up with her, Paget had told him over and over again: he only had one chance to make things right, and he couldn’t fuck it up.

His friend was the only one who knew Matthew was gonna be a dad, and she was as thrilled as he was, mostly ‘cos she knew how badly Gubler wanted to have a baby. And the fact he loved Joey more than anything made it even more perfect. Well, it would be perfect if he hadn’t cheated, but both of them hoped to fix that any time now. As soon as possible, as a matter of fact.

- "Hey"- Matthew smiled as his ex-girlfriend opened the door. She was already in her pajamas, make-up swept off her face, a messy bun on her hair, and some chocolate around her lips. Matthew had never seen her as beautiful as in that moment.

- "Shouldn’t you be quitting sugar already? We agreed no more lava cakes from this week on."

- "I’m eating the leftovers from the fridge, ‘cos it’s all gonna be rotten when I come back, and the whole place is gonna stink"- Joey answered, cleaning the corner of her mouth, turning back to the kitchen.

- "You know chocolate won’t get bad… wait, where did you get chocolate from?"- Joey turned to him and grinned.

- "Frankie got me some"- Gubler nodded and left the take-out boxes on the counter.

- "Are you hungry?"

- "Actually… I don’t know… are you?"

- "A little. But I can wait a while if you want…"- he smiled at her and stared in silence. The young woman turned away to the fridge again and opened it.

- "Anything else that’s gonna spoil while you are away?"- he asked.

- "Not much… peanut butter will live, I guess."

- "Yeah."

- "And ketchup."

- "Yeah… but ketchup was making you sick a few days ago."

- "But who knows next week..."- the conversation between them was so natural, neither of them remembered how bad things were between them for a long while.

They talked about the fridge, the new self-watering system Joey had gotten for her plants, and how excited she was to see her parents again. And that was when Matthew pushed things a little too far.

- "Are you going to tell them about the baby?"

- "I don’t know"- Joey simply answered and walked away from him. She had been walking away from him most of the time he had spent in her apartment, and he kept following her like a lost puppy through the whole place.

- "Why not?"

- "‘Cos they are gonna ask too many things. ‘Cos I want to know if everything is ok with the baby first, wait until he is twelve weeks. And mostly, ‘cos I’m gonna have to tell them you are a cheater mother fucker and that we are not getting married, and I haven’t seen them in forever… I don’t wanna ruin the trip."

- "Maybe you don’t have to tell them we broke up,"- Joey raised an eyebrow and looked at him, standing on the frame of the bathroom door, staring at her putting all her beauty products (the few she had) in a “go-to” bag.

- "Sure, Matthew"- her answer was snarky, and she refused to turn to him.

- "I mean… we don’t have to break up"

- "Again? You wanna do this again?"- her voice was annoyed, making it clear she was tired of talking about their relationship.

- "We’ve danced around the subject all week, and we haven’t properly talked about it."

- "We are over because your cock was in your ex’s mouth the night of your birthday a few weeks ago. That’s all there is to know about that subject. That’s why we are in this fucking shitty situation. And no, Matthew Gray Gubler, I am not going to forgive you! So can you just drop it?!"

A heavy silence hung in the room. Joey lost it, and she ended up yelling. She was tired, she was sad, she was stressed. And most of it, she was anxious and slightly depressed over the whole deal.

- "I’m tired of this shit! We are gonna be parents together. I swear I am doing my best to get along with you and have a healthy relationship. Still, the fact is, I am doing my best to stop fucking loving you ‘cos I am not going to get back together with you! Ever!"

Her words were full of anger, and she couldn’t stop herself from screaming at him.

Matthew looked at Joey in silence. He didn’t know what to say at that. He had a lot of ideas in his head, but all of them were probably just going to get her even more upset. And that was the last thing he wanted to do that minute. And so, he just nodded and turned around and left the room. Joey sat on the edge of the bathtub and bit her lips.

- "I got this for our baby today"- he murmured a few minutes later when he walked back to the bathroom.

- "What is it?"- Joey mumbled and looked at the iPod Matthew gave her- "What? You know the baby won’t use one of these in probably another ten years, right?"

- "It’s not the iPod, it’s what’s in it"- the drummer nodded and wondered what was in it- "I just…"

Matthew cleared his throat. Words came painfully slow from his lips as he spoke.

- "I recorded a few stories and tales and things for the baby, so they can listen to my voice while you are away. That way, they won’t forget me"- Joey’s heart ached in love at those words.

- “This is one smooth loving bastard”- she thought and took a deep breath- "Thank you, that’s very thoughtful"- he shook his head and took a few steps back from her, ‘cos he knew all his body wanted was to lean over her and kiss her.

- "It’s nothing"- he sighed and made a pause- "I’m just worried if we are not gonna be together again, my baby might forget about me."

Those words broke Joey’s already broken heart. The sadness that Matthew’s face reflected showed her how bad he was feeling and reminded her that this was also a troubled time for him. Even when he was the one that had brought those problems to their relationship.

- "I promise you, that’s never gonna happen. You are always going to be our baby’s dad, and you are always going to be part of their life, no matter what"- he nodded and looked down, biting the inner part of his cheeks.

- "I think I better go"- Joey didn’t want him to go. He didn’t want to go, but her words had been so hard, they had left him speechless. Uneasy. Depressed.

- "You…"- the young woman stood up and took a deep breath, not know what to say- "You can take your part of dinner if you want."

That was not what she wanted to say. She wanted to say, “I’m sorry I just said all that in the nastiest way possible. I fucking love you, stay with me and hold me ‘cos I am scared and sad and alone”. But that was not what came out from her lips.

Matthew nodded and walked to the kitchen. He sighed and closed his eyes as he grabbed his box of Chinese noodles. That evening hadn’t come out as he was hoping. It had actually been the complete opposite. He had fucked it up. Making Joey upset only caused more pain to the two of them. He knew she would say things in the most painful way possible, not because she wanted to, but because that’s how she reacted when hurt. Hurting back. Hurting deeper.

Joey stood in the middle of the hall, watching Matthew grab all his things and turn to her.

- "Take care"- he whispered, and she nodded slowly.

- "You too."

- "I’ll call you to know about the baby bean"- she nodded again.

- "Of course. I’ll see you when I come back, and we’ll have another check-up"- he looked at her as she whispered those words. Each one of them hurt as they left her lips, ‘cos they were goodbye words, and she didn’t want to say goodbye.

Matthew just stood there, staring at her, not knowing how to move. He didn’t have the strength to walk away from her at that moment. Still, the words she had just practically yelled at him were a warning he was pushing her, and by pushing, he was never going to make things better. He had such a sad look in his eyes, Joey took a step closer to him. He kept his eyes on hers, almost holding his breath.

- "And… thank you for being here with us"- she held her hand on her tiny belly as she spoke- "I know it’s hard and all, I just… want you to know… I appreciate it."

- "They are my baby too"- he simply answered with a short and sad smile on his lips- "I would do anything for the two of you, any day."

Joey bit her lips and took another step closer. He stood still, not knowing what to do. Joey walked slowly to him and stood right in front of him.

- "Sorry about what I said"- she managed to whisper.

- "No, Joey, please don’t apologize, you said what you said ‘cos it’s the truth, and I understand how mad you are… please don’t say you are sorry for something I brought to myself, to the two of us"- Matthew made a pause and sighed, his eyes stuck into Joey’s- "To the three of us, actually"- she nodded slowly.

- "I didn’t want you to leave with an argument if we were not going to see each other until another month"- Joey managed to murmur but couldn’t hold her eyes in Matthew’s for another second, and so she looked down.

- "I didn’t want to start a fight either…"

The two of them stayed in silence. The distance between them was so small Matthew could hold her tight if he only took one step ahead. But he controlled himself. It was one of the most challenging efforts he had ever made, and he moved his hand to her chin, lifting her face sweetly.

- "Take care, ok?"- his eyes traveled slowly from her lips to her eyes, and he noticed how her cheeks blushed sweetly.

- "Ok"- she whispered, nodding.

- "I’ll call you"- she didn’t say a thing and just nodded again. Matthew moved carefully over her and landed his lips on her forehead. It was the sweetest touch Joey had ever recalled feeling from him. So delicate and tender, and at the same time with such intense love. It was impossible for her not to close her eyes and feel her knees trembling. He stared at her in silence and smiled shyly before whispering “Goodnight” and walking out of her house.

Joey stared at the door and restrained herself from the deep desire to run after him and wrap her arms around his neck, to kiss him deeply. She didn’t. She couldn’t. She shouldn’t. Instead, she walked to her couch and laid down, wrapping her arms around her legs, feeling how warm tears fell from her eyes. How many times can a heartbreak after being broken? ‘Cos every time Matthew said goodbye, her heart ached, just like the day they broke up. And her body ached, feeling the empty space he left by her side.

- "I love you so fucking much"- she mumbled, sobbing. Tears kept falling like a waterfall until she fell asleep.

::: March 31st, 2011. Oakland :::

Mikey looked at Joey as they walked into the hotel and checked in. They had hardly shared a word that day, ever since they left California. She sat with Jamia and helped with the babies the whole trip, and her plan was to continue to do the same until it was time to play the show.

- "Are you mad?"- he asked out of the blunt as he stood next to her in the middle of the lobby, both waiting for their room keys.

- "No, why?"

- "You are not talking to me."

- "You haven’t talked to me either"- she answered with a shrug- "Are you mad at me?"- Joey furrowed her brows as she spoke, thinking maybe that was the point, and she never actually noticed it.

- "No"

- "Then?"

- "Are you ok?"

- "I’m tired and puked breakfast on the plane, you?"

- "I’m tired and drank three coffees on the plane ‘cos I couldn’t sleep"- Joey nodded at her friend’s words- "Why does it feel weird?"- Mikey pointed out and crossed his arms on his chest

- "I don’t know... - the drummer answered and looked at his shoes- "I love those boots."

- "I’m not gonna give them to you. They are not your number."

- "Shut up"- Joey cut him a short smile, and he did the same- "I hated Lynz’s comment last night"- Joey confessed and kicked Mikey’s boot friendly

- "Me too… Gerard said I was too rude to her."

- "You were, but she kind of deserved it"- Mikey chuckled at Joey’s confession- "Really, I just hated so much how she was insinuating you were jealous of whatever, considering she has no idea we are best friends!

- "I know! I thought the same"

- "That’s ‘cos we are best friends"- Joey added and smiled, giggling. Mikey looked at her and wrapped his arms around her slowly.

- "Did you have a good night after you saw that asshole?"

- "Yeah, it was ok"- Joey lied, hiding her face in his chest- "He brought dinner and left."

- "Good"- they rocked slowly, still hugged. Mikey kissed the top of her head and whispered- "I’m not jealous."

- "I know"

- "I’m just scared"

- "Why?"- Joey moved apart from him but never got an answer. Jeffrey showed up and gave them their keys.

- "Get ready. We’ve got an interview in an hour here in the conference room"- the bassist frowned, nodding.

- "Good news for me, I get to get some more sleep"- Joey added and stuck out her tongue to Mikey.

- "I hate you"

- "I know."

Gerard looked at his brother talking with Joey. He saw how they hugged. How he kissed the top of her head. How she smiled at him sweetly and hid her face on his chest. They looked like a fucking couple, and he hated everything about it.

- "Stop it"- Ray said and stood next to him- "I thought you were gonna be over your fucking obsession by now"- he pointed out with an eased tone of voice like he was just talking about the weather.

- "You are gonna fuck everything up if you keep looking at her like that"

- "What do you know?"

- "I know she won’t talk to you at all, and I think there has to be a reason I don’t know"- Gerard stayed still, pretending those hadn’t hurt him. Or scared him. He didn’t even look at Ray as he spoke.

- "And I know you like her, so stay away from her before you do something that ruins everything."

- "I’m not gonna ruin anything."

- "Your wife is gonna be here soon."

- "I love my wife."

- "I know… just try not to stare at Joey drooling, like she is the object of your undeniable desire and love when Lynz is around."

Gerard turned to his friend and tried to say something back, but nothing came out.

- "And for the love of God, don’t fuck it up!"- Ray tapped on his back and walked away.

Gerard Way was busted. He was fucked. And it was the first day of the tour.

Matthew laid on his bed and sighed. He was in Oakland, staying at a hotel two blocks from Joey’s. He had made sure not to book his room in the same place as her, to keep a safe distance in case she got too mad- which was always an option with her, especially under those circumstances. Those were the worst circumstances they had ever faced, so Matthew was being extra precautious. Even more after what had happened the night before. He was still angry with himself for pushing her too much. He had to be patient.

- “Let’s hope she won’t get angry with me for doing this.”- he thought and stared at the ceiling. He could only stay still for a minute or so. He quickly moved to his bag, grabbed a book and his phone.

- "Hey"- Joey’s voice at the other side of the line made him smile right away

- "Hello, how was your trip?"

- "It was ok"- Joey cleared her throat and looked at her feet as she walked around her room. She felt weird and awkward talking to Matthew after what had happened the night before- "How are you?"

- "I’m ok…"

- "How are you feeling from the bruises from the car crash?"

- "Like nothing ever happened"

- "Good…"- there was a silence on the line. Matthew could hear Joey’s breathing as she scratched the back of his neck and said the first thing that came to his mind.

- "So at what time is the concert tonight?"

- "At eight"

- "Good… and… are you having lunch soon?"

- "I don’t know. I was thinking about napping now and maybe grab a late bite before going to the arena."

- "Remember the nutritionist said you shouldn’t skip meals"- the drummer sighed, knowing he was right.

- "But I’m so sleepy, I’m gonna fall asleep on the table eating."

- "You couldn’t sleep last night? “God knows I couldn’t.”

- “I did. “No, I didn’t. I stayed up crying and thinking about how much I love you, damn it!”

- "Then why are you so tired?"

- "Maybe because I’m turning food into a human being"- Matthew chuckled at those words, and Joey smiled, listening to his reaction.

- "That seems to be a good reason. I’m sorry I questioned you"- the girl kept the grin on her face for a second

- "That’s ok. I should really go grab something to eat and then nap. You are right about that."

- "Talk to you later?"- he asked as casually as possible- "Maybe after the show, to know how you are feeling?"

- "Yeah, sure. Talk to you later, bye."

Matthew hung up and sighed. Just a few more hours and his plan to get his girl back would start. His stomach tightened as he imagined what Joey was gonna say when she saw him. Was she going to be mad? Was she going to be happy? Was the band going to hit him? There were too many questions for him to answer, so he did the only thing he could do: lay on his bed and grab the book he was carrying.

Jamia, the babies, and Joey had lunch together. The drummer loved having her around ‘cos she wasn’t alone back in the hotel all the time like she was in Europe, and that meant less time to overthink everything. She loved hanging out with Jamia ‘cos she was too nice and understanding with her. It felt like they could be friends. Jamia considered Joey her friend already, meanwhile the young woman still had trouble opening up with people.

Though she had to be honest with herself. The latest months had changed a lot of the things that made her a loner. It was all Matthew and My Chem. Except for Gerard. But for Joey, Gerard wasn’t really in the picture anymore. He was the guy she needed and wanted to avoid at any cost. Even if that cost meant to leave the band.

- "So… have you thought of any name already?"- Jamia and Joey were at the drummer’s room. The babies were napping, and the two women were laid on the bed, eating Oreos.

- "Not really… I just…"

- "It’s not real yet?"

- "It’s so not real yet"- Joey whispered and chuckled- "I keep looking at the ultrasound, and I can’t believe there’s a baby in my tummy… I bet I ate a sea monkey at some point, and that’s what’s been growing inside me"- Jamia snorted as she tried to keep it down and nearly laughed out loud.

- "Wait until the sea monkey starts kicking. That’s the weirdest thing of all"

- "You are not making it magical, J"- Joey made a pause and chuckled- "You are so gonna be J from now on"- and Jamia smiled.

- "Sounds nice coming from you."

- "Good, ‘cos I think I’ve got no more brain cells to think of anything else."

- "Oh honey! You are just starting!"- Mrs. Iero tapped on her friend’s leg as the two of them laid back next to the babies- "You have months of exciting emotions, like pregnancy arousal, cravings, hormonal changes, hair coming in weird places, and my personal favorite, pregnancy brain"- Joey frowned disgustedly.

- "I’m afraid to ask about the arousal, the hair, and the brain shit"

- "Whenever you are ready, I am here."

- "You are my Jamia San Kenobi"- Joey chuckled and sighed- "My pregnancy Jedi master"- and Jamia smiled.

- "I’m glad I can help"- and after a few minutes, they were both asleep as well.

The doors to the theater opened at five, and Matthew ran inside to make sure to grab a spot on the first row. He nearly tackled a few teenagers to get there. But he did and sighed, relieved at his success.

- "Hey! Where are you? did you make it?"- Paget called and didn’t even say hello to her friend. She just started asking questions right away, making him chuckle.

- "Hey! Yeah, I’m in Oakland, already at the theater. It’s a very cool venue, small, intimate… I’m almost sure Joey is gonna get to see me."

- "Are you in the first row?"

- "Of course, I am"

- "Good"- Paget smiled and nodded- "We miss you around here."

- "I’ll be there when everything is ok."

- "We know."

- "Is anyone mad at me?"- and Paget chuckled.

- "No, actually everybody thinks you are the sweetest and most romantic guy on earth following your girlfriend like that."

- "I’m following her to get her to be my girlfriend again, actually."

- "You get the point"- and Matthew chuckled- "Ok, Gubler, gotta go, please call me and tell me how this went."

- "Of course!"

- "Hey! Wait! Did you make a banner?"

- "Yes! I remembered your advice and got a banner."

- "What does it say?"

- “The distance is nothing when one has a motive”- the actor confessed proudly

- "Pride and Prejudice?"- Paget asked, puzzled.

- "Yes, her favorite, I’m making her banners with quotes from her favorite books"- and his friend sighed.

- "Stop it! I am gonna end up falling for you!"- and the actor chuckled- "If she doesn’t take you back, I am single!"

- "Shut up!"- Paget laughed, knowing Matthew had blushed, though he knew she was joking.

- "Call me later."

- "Sure thing!"

Joey kept jumping on her spot. She was backstage, feeling really psyched to play that day. She didn’t really know why. Maybe it was the two hours nap she had taken that afternoon with Cherry and Lily. Perhaps the fun size Snicker Mikey had just given her, breaking her meal plan on the first day on the road.

- "You look extra happy today"- and it all stopped the second she heard Gerard’s voice next to her.

- "Hey, yeah… I think it’s a sugar rush"- she answered and looked around, feeling safer knowing everybody was around her, including Jamia and the babies.

- "How are you feeling?"

- "Good"- Joey smiled and nodded- "You?"

- "Good… but I’m not pregnant"- the girl smiled and looked away from him, trying to keep that conversation as casual and distant as possible.

- "You look gorgeous, by the way"- Gerard whispered and even blushed as he moved a little closer to her- "I guess it’s true pregnant women glow and grow in beauty."

Joey took a step back and gulped as she felt her cheeks burning red as Gerard just continued talking.

- "‘Cos each time I see you, you catch my breath."

- "Please don’t..."

- "I’m just being nice"- Gerard smiled, pretending to look as innocent as possible.

- "You and I both know that’s not what you are doing."

- "Hey Iceland"- Frankie appeared all of a sudden and wrapped an arm around the young girl, kissing her temple and giving Gerard a glare that forced the singer to take a few steps back.

- "What are you guys talking about?"- and Joey sighed, relieved to feel him next to her, like a little guardian angel, though Frank Iero had nothing angelic.

- "I was just telling Joey she looks gorgeous today and that pregnant women are beautiful"- Gerard answered like it wasn’t a big deal at all. Joey wanted to run away or hide under a rock. Frank just tightened his arm around her and nodded.

- "Yes, she does… wanna help with my warm-up?"

That was the most random question Iero could come up with that second, but it didn’t matter, ‘cos Joey smiled and quickly said yes, escaping from Gerard’s presence. But not from his eyes that followed her through the room. He wasn’t worried anyone could see how much he loved her, ‘cos he didn’t want to hide it anymore. Not until Lynz was there, at least. But that was a problem he would face when the right time came, in a week or so.

- "What can I help you with, Jersey?"- Joey asked as Frank grabbed a few kettlebells and started making bicep curls.

- "Absolutely nothing, you just looked like you wanted to get the fuck away from him, and I decided to rescue you"- the young woman wanted to deny it all, but at that point, she was just so glad Frank had taken her away from Gerard, she just nodded and smiled.

- "You are such a smart guy"

- "You are gonna make me blush…"

- "Can I use one?"- she casually asked, pointing out the kettlebell.

- "Definitely not! You’re not lifting any weight until we talk with your doctor"- Joey rolled her eyes and shook her eyes.

- "We already did that. I am ok to work out… I just can’t… run and… carry heavyweights"- Frank raised an eyebrow, and she smiled guilty- "Sorry, I just love lifting weights."

- "Have your baby first, then we care gonna train like we are fucking CrossFit athletes"- the soon-to-be mother chuckled and reached out her hand to her friend.

- "Jersey, we’ve got a date."

The crowd was running anxious, and so was Matthew. He had stayed put on his spot in the first row, right in front of the drumset like his life depended on it, no matter how much kids would try to push him away.

- “This is gonna work, this is gonna work, this is gonna work,”- he kept repeating in his head as he felt the weight of two thousand people pushing him against the security fence.

The crowd started yelling louder and jumping as the band appeared on stage. And along with them came his girl.

His breath was caught in his throat as he looked at her walking to the drum, a huge smile lodged on her lips. She looked so happy, happy like she had always looked when playing. There was nothing Joey loved more than her job. She had fought so much to get there, Matthew could barely get a glimpse of how good she felt playing as a professional drummer.

Looking at her sitting behind the drum in a My Chemical Romance concert, with that sweet and happy grin on her face, made him fall a thousand times harder in love with her. He felt proud of her and jealous of all the people who had been able to see her glowing in joy in the latest months when he had been away from her.

- “You fucked it up! Now fix it!”

Gubler never noticed the countdown of the music had started, and all the kids were yelling every word in “Look Alive Sunshine” until Gerard’s voice took him from his thoughts. Joey started playing, and the singer yelled.

- Oakland!! Make some noise!!- and the show started.

The whole crowd jumped, and Matthew jumped along with them, his eyes locked in Joey, who was lost in her drum. He smiled, watching how her lips now moved along with the song, murmuring the lyrics. Of course, she had toured with them long enough to learn all the lyrics of each song. She would probably deny it but sing them in the shower when she knew no one was listening.

The first one who spotted Matthew was Mikey. He frowned as he looked at Gubler standing in the first row, not getting what the fuck was going on. But Matthew never cared -he hadn’t actually considered- the fact the band could spot him in the audience. There was no one else on that stage but Joey for him, and that’s why she was the only person he had eyes for.

As soon as “Na Na Na” ended, Mikey walked to Frank. The intro of “Mama” started, so the bassist talked as fast as possible.

- "Dude, Gubler is here"- Iero looked at him frowning- "The first row, staring at Joey"- Frank looked over and saw him. He hadn’t seen him ever since New Year, and if there was one thing the Jersey boy was dying to do was to break Matthew’s face so hard no one would ever recognize him again.

- "Mother fucker"- he said and didn’t take his eyes from the actor- "I’m gonna kill him!"

But at the moment, he didn’t have the chance, ‘cos he had to play a show. But for a second, he and Mikey shared a look and turned to Joey. She was playing, eyes shut, smiling. They knew she still had no idea what was going on. And that was ok for them.

It wasn’t long until Gerard found the actor. It wasn’t hard to see him ‘cos he was the tallest guy in the front row and the only one who wasn’t looking at him. Matthew was the guy who stood still, hypnotized with each movement of the drummer, drooling over her like a kid staring at his first love. Gerard felt how his whole body shook in anger. Even his hands shook with a deep desire to kill him. Right there, in front of everybody. But he couldn’t. He had to keep on singing, keep on playing. Keep on pretending everything was ok, not just for the show and the kids, but for Joey too. He kept wishing she hadn’t seen him yet. Maybe she could never see him.

But the singer needed to let Gubler know he was fucked. And so he stood right in front of him, at the very edge of the stage, and managed it to catch his eyes. Both of them looking at each other in such deep hate, it was obvious the pair knew they despised each other. Gerard didn’t think about it twice. He had the higher ground. It would be a shame not to take advantage. And so, he spit on Matthew, and an evil smirked lodged on him as he saw him cleaning his face in anger. That was a little piece of sweet, sweet revenge. But it still wasn’t enough to make the actor pay for everything he had put Joey through.

Ray widened his eyes when he spotted Matthew, just the second Gerard spitted on him. He saw the whole moment in action and knew it was gonna be hell after the show. What was Gubler doing there? Trying to get Joey back. Ray knew that moment was gonna come, eventually. Toro knew how much Matthew loved her. It was crystal clear for everybody to see.

Ray was the only one who could keep a cold head to analyze the whole picture, and that’s why he always tried to remind his friends Joey and Matthew weren’t a subject they could decide on. It wasn’t something related to them at all, though they were friends with her. They were their own thing, a thing they could merely watch but never ever control. It was clear neither of his friends had listened, and so Toro sighed. He was going to have to stop a big fight after that concert.

- "The next song"- Gerard said after “House of Wolves” was over. It was Joey’s favorite song, and they played it as often as possible- "It’s about being a kid, about you being a kid, about me being a kid, about us being a kid, about you having a kid"- Joey raised her eyes from the drums and looked straight into Gerard’s eyes. That’s when she heard him.

- "Yami!!"- it was Matthew’s voice, but it couldn’t be. Joey frowned and looked around.

- "Yami!!"- he yelled and raised the banner. Frank, Mikey, and Gerard looked at him in the most honest and pure hate anyone could have ever seen from them. Ray tried to concentrate on Joey. She was the one he cared about at that second. And when he saw the puzzled expression on her face as she looked at him, asking what was going on, Ray couldn’t control himself and pointed at the actor.

Joey’s heart stopped. It was Matthew, it was really him, standing there, on the first row of the concert, staring at her with the biggest smile anyone had ever had around her in her life. And he was holding a banner that read, “The distance is nothing when one has a motive.” She couldn’t move. She didn’t know what to do. He just smiled at her and mouthed, “I love you.”

- "Bug!! Bug, are you ok?"- Mikey waved in front of the drum and looked worried at the girl. She just nodded at him and then at Frankie, who stood next to the bassist.

- "Yeah, I’m ok"- she smiled and started counting. It was time to play “Kids from yesterday.”

Everybody loved that song, and she wasn’t going to fuck it up, not even if her eyes and mind were stuck looking at Matthew in front of her, as he kept smiling like a kid on Christmas morning as she played.

Gerard stared at the scene, and it felt he was gonna make a tantrum in the middle of the stage. Joey was staring at Matthew, and her whole face had lit up, even if she didn’t want to. And just like a little child, Gerard made sure to stand right between the two of them to stop them from looking at each other. And like if they could all build a fortress, Frank and Mikey stood around the drumset, protecting Joey, trying to make sure Matthew knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere near her, over their dead bodies.

Matthew didn’t give a damn. He just wanted to look at her. He just wanted her to know she was the most important person in his life and that he was willing to drop anything and everything just to be near her.

The song was ending. Joey kept playing drums, her eyes glued to Matthew’s, until Mikey stared at her, counting the beat at the song’s end. She nodded at her friend and kept playing, both of them, the two of them, to finish the song together, just like they had done for over five months now, in perfect timing. Joey loved that part, and he knew it, ‘cos it was the only part of the show they had a little solo. Mikey was happy Matthew didn’t take that moment from them. At least he felt Joey was still in the zone, playing and being present at the show and not lost in thoughts.

Joey was lost in thoughts, she was making her best to play a good show. But Matthew’s appearance had moved the ground underneath her feet. It had been the biggest and warmest surprised she had had in a long time.

“I’m not ok” set the mood for the rest of the concert. No one on that stage was ok. But Gerard was the one affected the most. He would sing, giving his back to the audience and looking at Joey as often as possible. He knew that was going to drive Matthew insane, but it also helped him stay focused.

His eyes locked in Joey’s face tried to read her. She looked… happier. And that hurt, ‘cos though Gerard knew she didn’t love him back, it didn’t help to know he was still in her heart. It was so obvious she was in love with him even a blind man would see it. Even Joey would try to keep her eyes shut or look away, she would always end up looking at Matthew, and Gerard could swear a smile lodged on her lips each time she saw the actor. It made him want to punch a wall, or Gubler’s face, whatever came first.

- "Give me all your fucking money!!"- Gerard yelled and ran to the drum set as Joey started playing “Vampire Money” with a huge smile- "Are you ready, Ray!!"

- "Yeah!"

- "How about you, Sugar?"

- "Yeah!!"

- "How about you, Frank?"

- "Fuck you, Gubler!"- he answered, and Joey turned to him in shock, though Iero looked at her with the cutest and most adorable smile on earth.

- "How about you, Mikey?"- Gee yelled

- "Fucking ready!"

- "I think I’m alright."

Gerard would always call Joey “Bug” when he addressed her in that part of the show. It was the only moment of the day he could call her by a nickname, and “Bug” was her official band nickname. But that day, Way wanted to make a difference. He wanted to make it sound a little more personal than it was in real life. “Sugar” fit perfectly, and in his mind, Gerard would always call her Sugar.

Somehow, being so angry brought a different energy to the band while playing. They were mad into it. Gerard sang as his life depended on it, while Mikey wouldn’t stop moving, and looking in the most threatening way possible at Gubler, every once in a while. Frank would jump and yell and shout, playing his guitar with the energy of a caffeinated hyper ten years old. Matthew never even saw them. He couldn’t care less. All there was for him on that stage was Joey behind the drum, looking at him with the corner of her eye every couple of minutes.

She didn’t know what to think or what to feel. She was in shock. What was Matthew doing there? What was he going to do next? What was he planning? Joey needed to run away from that stage and hide under a gigantic pillow ‘cos she had no idea how to face what was going on, though, at the same time, she was dying to run to Matthew and hug him. She just felt so good to know he had followed her to see her one more time. She felt special like he always made her feel.

Gerard started singing Cancer, and Joey turned to one side of the stage. Jamia looked at her, literally waving. She could perfectly read her lips, “What the fuck?” and the drummer could only shrug.

- "Hey"- Mikey appeared in front of the drummer and cut him a quick, shy smile- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah, just surprised."

- "You knew?"

- "I had no idea"- he nodded and looked around

- "Just a few more songs, then we can go hide and eat a pretty good dinner"- Joey smiled at him and watched him walk back to his side of the stage.

But Joey didn’t want to hide in her room and eat dinner with Mikey. Though she refused to admit it, all she wanted to do was to stand in front of Matthew and feel his eyes fondling her skin as he talked to her, just like he was doing at that moment, from a distance. She could feel his eyes running up and down her skin, though she didn’t look at him.

Jamia nearly jumped on Joey as soon as the girl reached backstage. The babies were miraculously sound asleep. No one got how, considering a huge rock concert had been happening that whole time a few meters away from them.

- "Oh my god, what the fuck??!"- Jamia made her best to whisper/scream to not wake the babies, but to make Joey wide open her eyes and frown.

- "I swear I have no idea!!"

- "He is adorable!!"

- "He is a cheater Jamia"- Frank interrupted his wife and took off his shirt, frowning- "And you shouldn’t be that excited. He is just trying to win her over."

- "He is being romantic, Frank"- Jamia corrected him and looked at Joey again- "What are you gonna do?"

- "I don’t know"

- "Call him!!"

Jamia was the closest to a best friend from high school Joey had ever had. Sure, back in the days, she had Tabatha, but her friend had her share of social life, and Joey was always shut down to any kind of social interaction. Now Jamia was talking about boys and telling her to call one. If that was high school talk, Joey had no idea what it was.

But before she could actually make a decision, her phone rang in her backpack, and J widened her eyes in excitement.

- "I swear to God, Jamia! you are just acting like this ‘cos you think he is hot!"- Frank turned around to see his wife, clearly annoyed, as Joey grabbed her phone and held it tight in her hands, not knowing what to do.

- "I’m just being honest with my friend. He is being cute and asking for a second chance. Coming unannounced to a concert with a cute banner is the sweetest thing I’ve seen a guy doing for love!"- Jamia stopped talking, and Joey’s cell stopped ringing. She looked at it feeling disappointed, until a second later, it started ringing again.

- "For Christ’s sake! Answer!"- Jamia sounded annoyed, and Joey did as told, not really thinking about her own actions. She just… deep down wanted to do it.

- "Hello?"

- "Hey..."- Matthew stood still in the middle of the arena, waiting for the kids to leave the place, he was anxious to know what Joey thought of what he had done, and though he had thought about waiting for a while to call her, he just couldn’t control himself.

- "What was that?"- Joey asked, blushing, as she locked herself in the bathroom.

- "That was me dying to see you, traveling to Oakland to be with you, even from a distance"

- "Why did you do that?"- Joey managed to ask, feeling she was nearly mumbling each word.

- "‘Cos I love you, ‘cos I miss you…"

Neither of them was able to say another word. Matthew was nervous and didn’t know how Joey managed the whole situation, though her voice sounded peaceful and calm. That should be a good sign.

- "You shouldn’t have…"- she whispered and felt her heart was about burst inside her chest

- "Do you wanna come out for a minute and talk?"- she wanted to, so badly, but it scared her to think what would happen if Frank, or even Gerard, got near Gubler.

- "Where are you?"

- "Still here"

- "You haven’t moved?"

- "Nop"- Matthew smiled and looked around- "I don’t know if they are planning to kick me out though"

- "Give me five minutes, I’ll change into something dry, and I’ll be right there."

Gerard Way was in hell. Literally burning alive as he watched Joey walking out of the bathroom in a fresh shirt and combed hair made a ponytail. She had even fixed her makeup.

- “God! She even got pretty for him!! What the fuck?! How can she be so eager to forgive him?!”- his eyes could burn holes in the wall as he did his best to look away from Joey.

- "Hey Bug, what are you gonna do?"- Mikey asked her as he stood next to her and held her hands. Gerard hated that too. He had managed to decode each movement from his brother around Joey like he was her couple. Lynz’s words had really fucked up with his brain. And if he was jealous of Mikey before, now it was turning into something worse.

- "I’m gonna go talk to him"

- "Are you sure that’s a good idea?"- Mikey looked worried, but Joey smiled at him and held his hand tighter.

- "Yeah, don’t worry, I’m gonna be ok."

- "If he does anything to you, I’m gonna break his fucking face"- Frank added from the other side of the room, already in a clean shirt and now holding one of the babies in his arms. For someone who sounded so threatening, he surely didn’t look the part.

- "It’s ok kids, let Joey take her own decisions, ok?"- Ray finally spoke up and sighed- "She knows we are here for her no matter what, but she has to do what her heart tells her to do."

- "Thank you, dad, but don’t think for a minute I’m gonna forgive him"

- "Even if you do, Bug. You will always count on me"- the guitarist walked to her and kissed her temple.

- "Best dad ever"- she whispered and opened the door.

Matthew felt his heart stop in his chest when he saw her walking over to him. He did the only thing that came to his mind and raised the banner he still held in his hands, so she could find him. It wasn’t hard to see him. There weren’t many people left at the arena, mostly just the crew setting everything to go.

- "Hey"- Joey said and waved as she walked to him and stood right in front of him. Just like she had imagined, she could feel the warmth of her eyes traveling down her face as he stared at her in pure bliss and love.

- "Hey"- he replied and smiled. He didn’t really want to talk. He didn’t know what to say. All he could think of was to kiss her and hold her tight.

- "What are you doing here, Matthew?"- she finally asked and crossed her arms on her chest to remind herself she couldn’t feel anything but anger against him and that she shouldn’t be so happy to see him. Or worse, she shouldn’t be showing him how happy she was to see him.

- "I just wanted you to know how much I love you"

- "By traveling to San Francisco to see a show?"

- "With a handmade banner"- he added and smiled.

- “That damn fucking adorable smile is gonna be the end of me,”- Joey sighed, thinking what to say next, making her best to stay calmed and not drooling over him.

- "That was a good touch."

- "Thanks, just like Lizzy, I would walk any distance just to be with you ‘cos you are my whole purpose."

Joey nodded, melting inside, as she made her best to stay cold and look indifferent. She didn’t know if it was working, but she wanted to believe so.

- "I’m not gonna forgive you just 'cos you showed up unannounced to a show"- that was all that came to her mind, it wasn’t the most intelligent answer, but it was all she had.

- "I wasn’t expecting you to forgive me today"- he simply replied and shrugged. There was a weird mix of security and happiness around his whole attitude Joey couldn’t wrap her mind around.

- "Good"- that was the whole answer she could give him, furrowing her brows. Matthew stared at her in silence for a second and took a step forward, closing the gap between them a little.

- "It was an amazing show, by the way"- he said and smiled. Joey’s knees shook as a response.

- "Thanks"- she whispered and looked down

- "How’s the little bean?"

- "Good… floating, I guess. I’ve felt pretty good today."

- "That’s great"- the two of them nodded at the same time and stayed quiet- "Remember to play the tracks I made for the bean."

- "Yeah, I will tonight."

- "They are just for the baby, so no peeking, ok?"- Matthew’s voice felt velvety as he talked close to Joey. She managed to raise her eyes from the ground, and Gubler swore his heart could be heard from any corner of that arena as it beat harder just to feel her looking at him.

- "I’ll put the headphones on the belly, so it will be the first secret you can share with your baby"- she smiled at the end of her answer, and Matthew held his breath.

- "That’s the cutest thing I could think of"- he mumbled, and the two of them stared in silence, sharing a moment that was a mix between love and angst.

Joey was still fighting to get away from him and stay mad at him. She had to play over and over again, like an old movie, the pictures she saw of Matthew cheating, just to keep herself from wrapping her arms around his neck.

- "Does she look in pain to you?!"- Jamia pushed Frank back as he kept trying to walk towards Joey and Matthew and drag her away from him.

- "She is gonna cry! He is gonna make her cry!"

- "Frank! This is not your war! Look at them and tell me they are not in love! If this was a cartoon, there would be hearts above their heads!"- Jamia was right, but Frank didn’t want to listen.

- "Hey!! Asshole!!"- Frank yelled, and Joey turned to him, frowning- "Stay the fuck away from her!!"

- "Oh shit!"- the words sneaked through her lips as Matthew looked at Frank and didn’t find anything better to do but to wave, infuriating Iero even more- "You know he wants to kill you, right?"

- "I am aware… the way they all looked at me made it pretty clear during the show, Gerard actually spit on my face."

The way Matthew said, it didn’t sound like it was a big deal. But it was, and Joey’s eyes were wide open as soon as she heard him.

- "He did what??!"- and she shouted- "Who the fuck does he think he is??!"

The young woman’s face was red in anger, and she quickly turned around and headed to the backstage area. But Matthew stopped her, grabbing her hand quickly.

- "Hey! Hey! Calm down, it’s ok! I don’t care!"

- "But I care!! This has nothing to do with him! He is not even my friend!! What the fuck does he think he is doing?!"

Unfortunately, the scene didn’t really look good from a distance, and Frank watching them, not getting what they were talking about, could only see his friend trying to get rid of Matthew and him not letting her go.

- "Take your hands off her!!"- Frank shouted and ran over, Jamia following close behind- "I said let go!!"- he pushed Matthew and put an arm in front of Joey, trying to keep her back.

- "What the fuck, dude?"- Joey shouted.

- "I don’t want him to hurt you, Bug!"

- "I’m not hurting her!!"- Matthew frowned, feeling insulted- "Why would I hurt the mother of my baby?!"

- "He ain’t hurting me!!"- Joey supported him, ‘cos Frank actually ignored Gubler’s words

- "Doesn’t look like he is being pretty nice either!!"

- "Frank! Stop it! Joey says nothing is going on!"- Jamia held Frank’s arm as Matthew tried to cool down the mood.

- "Hey! Nothing is going on"- Gubler used the calmest voice he could to talk to Iero- "I understand you wanna protect Joey from me ‘cos I was an asshole and fucked it up, but I am not gonna hurt her!! Ok?"

- "What fuck do you know! You broke her, and I am not gonna let you near her again!"- and just like the day Mikey had told him the same, Matthew’s heart tightened in his chest, listening to Frank yelling how badly he had hurt the woman he loved.

- "I can take care of myself!!"- Joey shouted- "So stop it! Now let me go kill that mother fucker!!"- the drummer turned around and started jogging to the dressing room. But Matthew followed her quickly and grabbed her hand again.

- "Please don’t! Joey, I don’t care! He can do whatever he wants to do. That ain’t gonna stop me!"

- "You don’t get it! I hate the guy! And the fact he thinks he can come and spit on your face like he is the fucking king of the world, or that he can avenge my sorrow, it’s wrong!!"- Joey pushed and let go of Matthew’s grip and continued her way until she opened the door and found Gerard, Mikey, and Ray playing with the twins.

- "Hey Bug"- Mikey turned and smiled, but Joey ignored him, ‘cos her eyes were locked on Gerard’s, staring at him with pure hate.

- "What the fuck is your problem, kúkalabbi (scumbag)?"- she spit every word with contempt- "You fucking think you can come and do whatever you want ‘cos you are the fucking lead singer of a band?"

Gerard frowned, though he had a hint of what might have happened.

- "I don’t care what the fuck came through your mind at the moment! You can’t spit on someone’s face! You can’t spit on Matthew’s face!"

Mikey wide opened his eyes as soon as he heard those words. Even for him, that was a little too much.

- "Joey, I think I can…"- Gerard tried to explain.

- "Haltu kjafti! (shut up!) No, you can’t!"- but Joey shut him up in a second- "This is my problem, my battle, and my fucking business!! You have no right in trying to avenge me! None!"

- "He fucking cheated on you, and you are mad at me?!"- he frowned, surprised, not getting what was going on.

- "Yes! I am mad at you! You are not even my friend, and you were doing shit I never asked you or wished for you to do!"

- "If I want to spit on his face, I can fucking do it!"- Gerard shouted back- "I hate the fucking bastard!"

- "So I can spit on yours then!!"- and Joey was about to do it when Matthew rushed and covered her mouth.

- "No! No! No!"- he held her tight, but sweetly- "Calm down! please! Calm down!"

- "What the fuck are you doing here?!"- and Gerard freaked out at the sight of Gubler- "Get the fuck out!"

- "I will be gone as soon as Joey asks me to leave"- Matthew simply answered and looked into Gerard’s eyes with the same hate yet calm he had the last time he saw Way at Mikey’s New Year’s eve party.

- "Who the fuck do you think you are?! Get out before I kick you out!"- at that point, Jamia and Frank were in the room as well. Jamia had an eye put on her babies, playing in their cart, while holding Frank back to keep him from getting into that fight.

- "Stop it!"- Joey managed to move from Matthew’s grip and looked into Gerad’s eyes in a fury- "I hate you!"

She didn’t yell, but her words were a dagger and cold as ice. The honesty was evident. Maybe now Gerard was going to understand he had to step back. She looked at him in the eyes for a second, then grabbed her things and stormed out, followed closely by Matthew.

- "What the fuck?"- Mikey asked to break the awkward silence that hung in the room after Joey had stormed out.

- "I spit on his face today, when I saw him there, looking at her with his stupid fucking puppy eyes, I just… lost it and spit on him- Gerard murmured, and his voice broke.

She hated him. She meant it. How was he going to win her back if she hated him? Jamia’s jaw fell as soon as she heard him. One thing was hating the guy, even trying to punch him, but spitting on someone’s face, that was… well, it seemed offensive and degrading. It was over the top.

- "Not that I wouldn’t think about doing something like it, but…"- Frank started, but Jamia’s eyes stopped him

- "That was out of line, Gerard"- Ray said with a calm, though stern tone of voice- "I told you all, the only thing you are gonna accomplish by acting like a bunch of possessive friends is to push her away. If you all call yourself her friends, you can’t fucking do this shit!"

It felt like Ray was scolding his kids. Mikey wanted to argue, but it was true, just like the day he had hit Matthew in Joey’s house, and she had freaked out and gotten mad at him.

- "I would do it again if I could"- Gerard whispered and sat down, fighting the urges of smoking a cigarette.

- "That’s why you ain’t her friend"- Ray added, and the look coming from Way’s eyes let him know he wasn’t happy with the reply- "Her words, not mine."

Matthew followed Joey on her way out of the arena. The cold air hit her skin and made her shiver as they stood foot outside the building.

- "Here"- he quickly took his hoodie off and gave it to her. She didn’t argue. She was too mad to argue about anything else. She was also too mad to talk about it. She just wanted to walk away from everything. Walk and ease her mind.

- "Excuse me, Joey?"- a girl walked over with a huge smile and forced her to take her eyes from the ground- "Can I have your autograph, please?"- Matthew wide opened his eyes in amazement. Joey quickly smiled and grabbed a sharpie from her bag. She signed the girl’s ticket to the show and smiled for a selfie with her.

- "Wow"- Matthew chuckled as the girl was gone- "That was…"

- "Weird, I know"

- "That was amazing! Kids are reacting to your work! Kids are looking at you and being excited about what you do! I am so fucking proud!"- he didn’t really stop himself to think. He just wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight.

- "Thanks"- she whispered and felt how her cheeks turned pink- It’s still pretty weird. It’s not something that happens all the time, but…

- "It’s impressive, Joey!"- Matthew nearly yelled- "I mean it, sometimes it shocks me how cooler and greater you can be!"

He sounded honest. He sounded proud. Joey’s heartbeat in joy with those words but didn’t say a word. She was thankful it was night, and the street lights weren’t illuminating his face properly, or he would be able to see how blushed and nervous she was.

- "Don’t overreact"- she murmured and kept on walking in silence. Matthew sighed and walked with her, stuffing his hands in his pocket to stop himself from trying to hold her hand.

- "Are you hungry?"- he asked after a while

- "No"

- "When was your last meal?"

- "An apple and a fun size Snicker before the show"

- "Mikey keeps controlling your candies?"

- "Yes… but Jamia is a horrible influence"- Joey chuckled at the thought of the two of them that afternoon acting like kids- "She gives me Oreos"

- "That’s drugs!"- Matthew acted shocked- You shouldn’t!

- "I know! But they are so good!"- the drummer smiled. Talking about anything was better than addressing the pink elephant in the room.

- "And how’s Jamia?"

- "Great, she is baby training me with the twins."

- "That’s very nice of her"

- "Yeah, and the babies are the sweetest…"- Joey made a pause and sighed- "She is the only rooting for you."

- "I knew I liked her for a reason."

- "Frank keeps saying it’s because she has the hots for you."

- "She doesn’t"

- "She totally does"- and the young woman laughed at her own words. Matthew only smiled widely to hear her happy for a moment- "I was actually considering selling Frank a picture of you in underwear for her birthday."

- "Double the price, and we go halfsies"- Gubler answered and chuckled- "I can even pose like a french model."

- "Deal"- there was a silence between them that lasted a few minutes. Gubler didn’t know what to say, and Joey didn’t know either.

- "Are you sure you are not hungry?"- he asked, just to ask anything

- "Do you think I overreacted back there?"- she just spit it. She was scared she had exaggerated the whole deal, and now the guys were going to fire her. Gerard could. He definitely should after how she acted with him. He was, after all, the closest thing she had to a boss. They were all the people she worked for, not with.

- "No, Joey, you didn’t… I mean… I really don’t care how he acts with me ‘cos I know he is a mother fucker asshole in love with you."

Joey’s heart froze at those words. She widened her eyes and looked at Matthew. She had almost forgotten he had always said that about Gerard. And he was absolutely right.

- "I know it’s true. I don’t care what he says, he is crystal clear, but that’s not the point."

- "The point is, I totally yelled at him in front of everybody, told him I hated him and stormed out the room like a brat after I tried to spit on his face… thank you for stopping me, by the way."

- "You are very welcome"- Matthew sighed and looked at his hand- "You totally spit on me, though"- he joked and cleaned his hand on Joey’s sleeve.

- "Gross!!"- she argued and chuckled- "This is your hoodie, by the way"

- "Damn it!"- the two of them smiled and just walked around.

- "Maybe I could eat some pizza"- Joey whispered and pointed to a little restaurant in the next corner

- "Pizza it is."

Mikey looked at his clock as he stared at the ceiling in his room. It was eleven-thirty, no news from Joey. He was worried but didn’t want to call her, ‘cos after hearing Ray talking, he didn’t want to push her away. He didn’t want to make her feel like he was mad at her. He was just worried. Worried as fuck. Feared to lose her, to see her sad again. Worried she might leave forever.

A knock on the door made him jump from his bed and run to the answer. It was Gerard. He looked like shit. Mikey left the door open and let him in, walking back to his bed.

- "How are you?"- his question was pretty stupid considering Gerard’s puffy eyes.

- "I fucked it up, right?"

- "Yeah… but in your defense…"- Mikey stayed quiet and thought about his words- "Well…"

- "I know, it wasn’t the way to deal with him"

- "It definitely wasn’t… but I don’t think it was so bad on its own. I think when you mix this with all the stupid shit you’ve done to Joey."

- "I haven’t done anything"

- "But keep harassing her and telling her that you love her"- Gerard groaned, annoyed, and laid back on the bed, hiding his face under his hands.

- "But I love her"

- "Dude! You are mad if you think this shit is gonna work. She clearly loves him. I’m starting to think she is gonna forgive him though I don’t want her to. And you are fucking married. There is no way you can get anything with her."

- "But maybe..."

- "She doesn’t love you, Gerard!"- Mikey shouted- "She doesn’t! You never stood a chance! And now she hates you! You can’t even be her friend. After today, you can’t even fucking try! You dig your own grave!"

Gerard heard his younger brother’s words. He wasn’t even sugarcoating it. Maybe that way, Gee would understand. Maybe he was doing it ‘cos he loved him. Mikey was being tuff ‘cos he was also pretty tired of his brother’s attitude. Gerard wasn’t being rational. He was acting like an animal, with no clear thoughts, just based on his instincts.

- "And what do I do now?"- Way whispered, and Mikey sighed.

- "Start with apologizing and pray she doesn’t want to leave the band"- the singer wide opened his eyes. He hadn’t thought about that, but it was a serious chance. Maybe he had pushed her too far.

- "Do you think she can quit?"

- "I don’t know what can happen. She isn’t the kind of girl who can take these kinds of things very easily"

- "If she can forgive Matthew, she can forgive me"- Gerard thought out loud

- "She loves him, she hates you, you do the math."

- "But we are in the middle of a tour. She can’t leave like that."

- "I think the same, but it all depends on her."

- "What does Ray think of this?"

- "I haven’t talked to him"- Gerard grabbed his phone and dialed Toro’s number.

Ray frowned as he stared at the brothers. Mikey was lying on the bed, looking at his phone, waiting for a call or a text from Joey. Gerard was walking in circles in the room, rambling about making Joey stay in the band.

- "If she wants to leave, she can leave"- Toro said when there was finally silence in the room. Both Ways looked at him, shocked, but Ray just smiled- "Hey! It’s her fucking decision! Not ours!"

- "Do you want her to leave?!"- Mikey nearly yelled

- "No way! I love her in the band! I’m just saying if she decides something, we should respect her."

- "You keep saying the same shit! And you are not considering the fact she could make a mistake"- Gerard frowned and kept walking in circles.

- "Come on! She ain’t a baby! And she ain’t yours to take care of! She can manage herself pretty well, so stop it! You just don’t want her to leave, I can understand that! but just stop giving her reasons to do it!"- Ray didn’t know if Mikey was aware of how fuck up his brother was. And Mikey didn’t know if Ray knew Gerard had given her plenty of reasons to leave already.

- "She is not even here yet!"- Gerard was thinking to himself, but his friends could listen to him clearly- "I bet she already forgave him."

- "Still not your problem!"- Ray added, frustrated.

- "I love her! How can’t it be my problem!"- it felt so good to take it out of his chest, but Ray’s shocked face made Gerard realize he had said too much- "I mean, she is my friend, and…"

- "Oh come on!"- Mikey argued, sick of listening to his brother talking about his feelings- "You are in love with her, and it’s sick! Deal with it!"

- "And it’s not like you are making it hard to guess anyway"- Toro added- "Frank has been arguing you have feelings for her for months now."

- "And you told her your “feelings,” and she rejected you!"- Mikey said, making Ray insanely curious. He needed to know the details of that story.

- "What I feel is not your fucking business"- Gerard said defensibly.

- "It is if you are making this kind of show! Your wife will be here in a few days, so get your shit together and be professional for once!"- Ray argued and sighed- "I’m going to bed now, please try to leave that woman make her own desitions and her own life, and just focus on being good friends"- he said and waved- "And don’t fuck it up!"

The night was cold. The wind played with Joey’s hair as she stood outside her hotel, biting her lips, holding her backpack tight, and making her best not to look Matthew in the eyes as he stood in front of her, smiling. It all gave her the first date vibes. Like they hadn’t been down that path already.

- "Well… I better go. I’ve got another flight tomorrow"- she whispered, and he nodded.

- "Yes, you have to rest, you just played a kickass show"- he answered and smiled- "And our little bean must be exhausted with all the walking we just did."

- "Little bean is floating carelessly inside my tummy, making me crave for a brownie"- Matthew chuckled and opened his backpack.

- "I just have cashews"- and he handed her a paper bag. She couldn’t help but smile at him as she grabbed it and opened it in a second.

- "Your addiction coming in handy"- he chuckled and nodded.

- "I’ve got more if you want"- Matthew started looking in his backpack, but Joey stopped him.

- " Thanks, but these are enough for today"- they stayed in silence for a second, Joey staring at the bag, Matthew staring at her, caressing her skin with his eyes, looking at her eyes, her lips, her hair- "Are you going back home tomorrow?"- she asked and still didn’t dare to look at him in the eyes.

- "Not yet"- he whispered and bit his lips, wishing she wouldn’t ask him if he was going to keep on following her. A part of him wanted to keep it a secret surprise for one more show, at least. And a huge part of her was too scared to ask if she was going to see him at another show.

- "Well… take care"- she said and finally managed to stare into his eyes. It was a mistake, considering how badly she wanted to kiss him and how much she had to argue to herself to avoid doing it. And he was looking at her in adoration, with such love she felt she could melt like an ice cube under the July sun.

- "Remember to play the bean my tracks"- he said, and she nodded.

- "I surely will"

- "I don’t want the bean to forget about me."

- "That won’t happen, I promise"- they just stared in silence for a moment, Matthew almost leaning over to kiss her- "Ok, bye"- Joey waved and turned around.

- "Wait!"- Gubler held her hand and stopped her. He walked to her and wrapped his arms around her. She stood still, not moving an inch, as his warmth filled her skin under her clothes, and his lips pressed a kiss on the top of her head- "Take care"

- "You too"- she mumbled, words having trouble to leave her lips ‘cos his closeness was killing her- "Wait, I still I’ve got your hoodie"- she tried to move away from him to take it out, but Matthew looked at her and shook his head.

- "Keep it… please"- Joey had left all of Matthew’s clothing back in her apartment, ‘cos she didn’t want to carry anything that reminded her of him for the next month. Having his hoodie was against her own rules. Then why did it make her feel so happy?

- "Thanks"- she moved apart from him and watched his smile for one last time- "Good night Matthew Gray"- her words were a whisper that made him shiver. He loved the way his name sounded like coming from her lips.

- "Good night María Josefina."

The actor waited until Joey was out of her sight to walk away from the hotel. He headed it to his hotel, a few blocks away. Ignoring the whole problem with Gerard, he thought things had been pretty good after all. He really didn’t care about Way at all. He knew he would give him a hard time. He just didn’t want him to make Joey feel bad. Joey was all that mattered to him. Mikey and Frank could threaten to hit him, even fulfill their threats. He didn’t care. He even agreed with them. He deserved to pay. But Gerard? No, he didn’t have any right to get into that fight. Gerard was an asshole who needed to stay away from Joey. He was the one Matthew hated.

- “I don’t think I had ever hated someone as bad as I hate that son of a bitch”- but that didn’t matter at the moment, now Matthew had a bigger issue to tackle: Which was going to be the phrase in the banner he had to make for tomorrow’s show?.

There was a knock on Mikey’s door, minutes after Gerard had left. He groaned and walked to answer, to find Joey standing at the other side, with a shy smile on her lips, almost a sheepish look.

- "Are you mad at me?"- she whispered right away, and he opened his arms to hug her.

- "Never."

- "You swear? ‘cos I yelled at your brother I hate him in front of the whole band and tried to spit on his face"

- "He was out of place, and he deserved it"- Mikey whispered and kissed the top of her head. His touch felt so different from Matthew’s a few minutes ago. It almost made Joey feel guilty that her friend had kissed her head after the man she loved had done the same. Almost like she was cheating.

- "And are you mad Matthew was there?"- Mikey let her go and invited her in.

- "Are you ok with him being there?"

Joey stayed in silence, walking into the room, standing next to the bed instead of sitting down. She looked down at her hands and didn’t say anything. Ray’s words were starting to make sense to Mikey as he looked at her and thought she was going to start drifting away from him if he continued being an ass.

- "Bug, it’s ok. I am not gonna get mad at you… if you love him, if you want to be with him, I’m still gonna be your friend."

- "I just don’t know what I want"- she whispered and scratched her eyes, feeling tired and sleepy

- "Anything you want to talk about, I am here, and I swear I’m gonna be the best friend in the world, and I am not gonna judge you, I am not gonna freak out, and more than anything, I am just going to worry about your happiness, ok?"- Joey pouted at her friend and wrapped her arms around him.

- "I just don’t want you to be mad at me ‘cos you are my best friend."

- "I will never get mad at you Bug, you are my little sister, and I love you. I just want to take care of you."

- "I don’t like it when people try to take care of me. I know what I’m doing."

- "I know…"

- "But I’m gonna let it slide with you ‘cos you are my brother"- she said and chuckled against his shirt. Mikey kissed the top of her head again, and she chuckled- "Just don’t push me."

- "I won’t…"- Mikey chuckled and moved to look at her- "We are cheesy, though"

- "So fucking cheesy!!"- Joey chuckled and sighed, relieved- "Ok, now that I took that from my chest, I need to go to bed. I am so fucking tired."

- "Did you eat?"

- "Yeah, Gubler bought dinner"

- "And he also gave you his clothes apparently"- Mikey pointed her hoodie and noticed she blushed.

- "Yeah… I’ll still steal yours, you know"- he smiled and messed with her hair.

- "I’m counting on it. I actually had them washed"

- "Thank you so fucking much!!"

Mikey felt a little better after Joey left. She was worried he was mad at her when he was concerned about the same. She didn’t say a word about leaving the band. That was even better. And she didn’t look sad after being with Matthew. That was enough to let him sleep calmly that night.

Joey was weary. She kicked off her shoes and laid on the bed, closing her eyes. Matthew’s smell surrounding her made her smile and sigh. Yes, he had been romantic. Yes, she had butterflies in her stomach. Yes, she loved him. None of that took away the fact he was a cheater, but he was trying to make amends. That was undeniable. How much was he willing to try? And how much was enough for her to forgive her? Neither of that she knew, but it didn’t matter at the moment. For a few seconds, Joey allowed herself to be in love.

Before she drifted off in her sleep, she remembered Matthew asked her to play the songs he had put on the iPod for their baby. She didn’t want to move from that bed, but she was way too curious to know what was in it.

- "Hey Bean, we are gonna tell your dad you are the only one who listened to it, but mom is gonna sneak a little bit, ok?"- the young woman whispered to her tummy, feeling like a dork.

- "I’m gonna take that silence as a yes"- she put on a headphone and placed another on her belly.

- "Hey Bean!"- Matthew’s voice caught her breath as soon as the first track started- "It’s me! Your dad! I wanted to record these for you so you can remember my voice while you are away with your mommy, ok? Sorry, it’s not the most soothing voice you’ll ever hear, but I love you, so I guess it’ll have to do the trick"- Joey chuckled and closed her eyes, refusing to take out that hoodie, listening to Matthew’s voice, and drowning in his scent.

- "So let’s start with a bedtime story, I’ve got the feeling you are doing a lot of sleeping in there, so I’ll read you one of my favorites growing up"- Joey’s heart melt with each word recorded on that iPod

- "I promise when you are out of your mommy, I’m gonna reread it, and you’ll tell me if you like it, ok? Now, let’s get to business:"

“I am Sam. I am Sam. Sam-I-Am.

That Sam-I-Am! That Sam-I-Am! I do not like that Sam-I-Am!

Do you like green eggs and ham?

I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.

I do not like green eggs and ham.

Would you like them here or there?

I would not like them here or there.

I would not like them anywhere.

I do not like green eggs and ham.

I do not like them, Sam-I-Am.”

Slowly and softly, Matthew’s voice relaxed Joey like a sweet lullaby, and she fluttered her eyes until she fell asleep safe and sound as his reading continued reading Dr. Seuss's stories to their baby.

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