#babygirl was told he was worthless so much

[tomatette]

SOBBING at the fact the entire armitage hux fan base is being roused and coming together to vote for him as the hottest star wars man😭 im out of the star wars fandom at this point and have been for a while but the voting came across my dash. hux was ALWAYS my boy i can’t let him down

[joelscruff]

safety (boyfriend's dad!joel x f!reader)

just a bit of an origin story for my boyfriend's dad!joel relationship. you can read other installments of this fic here. this one isn't smutty but i hope you enjoy 💕 and here's my kofi if you'd like to leave a tip. summary: you find yourself falling for your boyfriend's father. rating: 18+ (mdni) warnings: age difference, cheating, daddy issues, daddy kink, lap sitting, pet names (use of babygirl) word count: 2.2k

the first time your boyfriend's father kisses you, it's because you ask him to.

you've always looked at him a bit differently, always found yourself taking quick peeks out of the corner of your eye whenever he's in the room, given him shy smiles and giggled at all his jokes (most of which were actually funny, believe it or not). the first time you'd met him you'd gone to shake his hand, expecting a firm shake and a quick nod like your own father, but he'd surprised you completely when he'd wrapped you up in his arms, given you a bear hug and softly told you he was so happy to meet you.

your boyfriend always rolls his eyes at his father's affection, his jokes, his quirks. it's been almost disappointing in a way, to see the way his father behaves in comparison to his son. your boyfriend constantly seems to cultivate a cold exterior - and interior, if you're being honest with yourself - while his father radiates warmth and welcomeness, a safeness you've never seen in your own father. you wonder how your boyfriend is able to take such advantage of his father's kindness, that safety that so many people can only crave and never experience.

the two of you fight a lot, but this is normal for you. every relationship you've had - whether familial or romantic - has involved some form of conflict. it's just the way things are; you've come to accept that. the only difference is that before this you never had a third party standing on the outside, witnessing it, worrying about it.

"are you okay?"

the first time he catches you crying you feel embarrassed; until this point you've put on a good front, been your sweet and passive self around him. now he sees a different side of you, the side everyone else in your life has seen dozens of times. the side that hurts, feels pain, suffers.

you nod, leaning against the banister of the front patio and biting your lip, "yeah, i'm fine," your voice cracks and breaks - you're not fine, your boyfriend just berated you for messing up his concentration during one of his stupid games, called you a waste of space. but you're not going to tell his father that.

"you don't look fine," he murmurs, taking a step toward you, "something happen?"

you shake your head, "no really, i'm okay, mr. miller."

"joel," he corrects you softly with a gentle smile, and you try to smile back.

"joel," you repeat, "sorry."

"don't be sorry," he says tenderly, taking another step toward you and carefully placing a hand on your shoulder, "i want you to know...if you ever need to talk to somebody, i'm here. i'll always listen, alright?"

you're not sure what to say; no one has ever given you an offer like that before. it's confusing and surreal. your brow furrows but you slowly nod, "okay."

he gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze and then goes back inside the house, leaving you standing there alone. the ghost of his touch weighs heavily for the rest of the evening, his words echoing in your mind. he can't really mean that, can he?

the next time he sees you cry it's only about a week after the first time, and this time he knows what's wrong. you can see it in his expression, the quiet anger burning behind his glasses for his own son.

"i won't defend him," he tells you softly, sitting next to you on the couch in the living room while your boyfriend yells something incoherent down the hall, "you can talk to me."

you find yourself confiding in him briefly, only briefly. you don't go into much detail, just tell him you hate being made to feel worthless, that it's something you've dealt with for a long time. he touches your shoulder again, squeezes it calmingly, reassuringly. you look into his eyes and feel yourself falling before you can even register it. he cares about you.

you think about him a lot. during the day, nights, when you're in bed and can't sleep and just want somebody to hold you. you imagine his arms wrapped around you, remember that first time you met when he'd hugged you so tight and welcomed you so warmly. you want him to hold you like that again, touch you, love you. you touch yourself and pretend it's his fingers, you bury your face in your pillow as you come and pretend it's his chest.

you think of him when you have sex with your boyfriend. you'd feel bad, but you've started to become numb with the way he treats you, uses you. you close your eyes and curl your hand in his hair and pretend it's his father on top of you, his father inside you, his father kissing your neck.

every week your boyfriend competes in ridiculously boring online competitions; you show up at his house only for the promise of seeing joel, talking to him, sharing a quick moment in the kitchen or living room with him. you sit on your boyfriend's bed and watch from afar as he bangs on the keyboard and shouts aggressive things into his microphone, sounding like a whiny and petulant child. you wonder what you even see in him anymore, what you even saw in him to begin with. you should end it, you know you should. but then how would you see his dad?

he berates you again for messing up his concentration, tells you to leave for a bit and to "stop being so annoying". you don't even protest, just climb off his bed and leave the room, slamming the door louder than necessary behind you.

joel spends a lot of time in his office; he's the head of a contracting company, always making plans, doing paperwork, making phone calls. he has his shit together, another thing you feel drawn to. he's the only person in your life who seems to know exactly what to do in any given situation, knows who he is and where he's going.

you find yourself climbing the stairs and knocking softly on his office door. "come in," he calls from inside, and you slowly push it open.

he looks up from his desk, scattered with paper and blueprints. his brow furrows when he sees it's you, "hey, sweetheart, you alright?"

you close the door behind you and then stand there for a few seconds just staring at him; he's got on a cozy looking grey sweater, knitted and warm. his jeans are dark and his socks are mismatched, a quirk you love. he looks perfectly disheveled in his joel miller sort of way, hair thick and curly, beard scruffy and soft. his glasses accentuate the kindness of his eyes, the tenderness as he looks at you. he's like a comforting beam of light, a safe haven.

"can you hold me?" you ask softly, barely a whisper. it's out before you even know you're saying it, and then you're biting down hard on your lip and feeling tears prick in your eyes.

he seems surprised but only for a moment, then he makes his way toward you in two long strides and wraps his arms around you, pulling you in and holding you close. you melt into his embrace, burying your head in his warm sweater and almost collapsing into his arms, feeling yourself begin to cry steadily. you should feel embarrassed but you're too overwhelmed by the feeling of finally being held by him again, feeling him so close, inhaling the comforting scent of him.

you feel him press a soft kiss to the top of your head, a gesture of comfort and safety, nothing more, "you're okay," he murmurs into your hair, "i've got you."

he holds you like that for a long time and makes no move to let go, just lets you stand there and take what you desperately need from him. your cries die down eventually until you're sniffling lightly into the thick fabric of his sweater and just breathing him in. his hands trail up and down your back comfortingly, tracing patterns and words, almost like a secret language.

"i feel safe with you," you mumble against his chest, but the words are muffled and hard to make out.

"hm?"

you pull back a bit to peer up at him with tear-filled eyes, cheeks pink and puffy, "i feel safe with you," you repeat, voice shaky but much more relaxed, calm.

he smiles softly, peering down at you with that familiar tenderness, "i'm glad," he murmurs, and you swear you catch his eyes trail down to your lips for a brief moment, "i want you to feel safe with me."

"can you kiss me?" you whisper, voice breaking on the last word, not caring that this could make or break the quiet companionship you've formed with him, "please."

his brow furrows again but he doesn't pull away, lips parting a bit in surprise, "sweetheart, i'm not sure that's-"

"please," you repeat, voice raw and desperate, "it's all i think about."

his expression relaxes then, the tenderness returning. with a resigned look you watch as he leans his face down toward you; you close your eyes and allow him to press his lips gently against yours, soft and sweet. he's so gentle, so warm, so safe. your arms wrap tighter around him as you kiss him back, a soft whimper falling from the back of your throat. it's perfect. he's perfect.

when he pulls away he leaves his forehead pressed against yours, and when you open your eyes your heart stutters when you see his face so close, lips wet from your saliva and eyes dark with desire.

"that what you needed?" he murmurs softly, nose brushing against yours.

you nod and kiss him again, humming quietly against him when he pulls you in closer and palms your back firmly, holding you close. you're not sure how it happens but you both end up on the small couch in the corner of his office, him sitting back against the cushions while you seat yourself in his lap, a leg on either side of his thighs. his hands travel inside your shirt, exploring the soft expanse of your back as you whimper again into his mouth and revel in the feeling of being touched by someone so different.

"what else do you need?" he breathes, voice deep and husky as his hands travel from your back to your face, cradling it in his palms, "i'll give it to you, sweetheart, anything you ask. just tell me."

you could say a multitude of things; you could tell him to kiss you again, touch you, fuck you, the list goes on. and you want him to do all of that, but the one thing on your mind is what inevitably slips past your lips.

"i just want you to hold me," you whisper, and you don't care if you sound pathetic, "please."

he looks at you with a great deal of pain in his eyes, an empathetic gaze you've seen numerous times. he thumbs your cheeks, wipes away the tears there and slowly nods.

"okay, babygirl," he murmurs, "i'll hold you."

you sit in his lap for the next hour. it's quiet and peaceful and perfect; he rubs your back while you bury your face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in and letting his presence completely invade your senses. you fall asleep briefly, but when you wake up you're happy to find that you're still in his lap, still being held. he makes absolutely no moves to remove you from him, to pull away or leave the room. he just holds you.

"thank you," you whisper finally; it's time to leave, you know this. your boyfriend will be looking for you soon, wondering where you went and why you didn't come back. you pull your face up from joel's neck and look down at him with tenderness, love.

"any time," he murmurs with a gentle smile, then leans forward a bit to press a tiny kiss to the tip of your nose, "i mean it, sweetheart. any time you're upset, any time you need to be held...you come to me, okay?"

you nod, biting down on your lip to keep the tears at bay, "no one's ever held me like this before," you whisper, "not even my own father."

his brows scrunch together and he touches your arms, squeezing them carefully in his hands, "i'm sorry, babygirl," he breathes, "you don't deserve that," his eyes capture yours in an intimate gaze, "you deserve the world."

the word is there, fighting to be spoken behind your lips. but you don't say it. you don't want to make him uncomfortable, don't want to ruin something that's only just started. but you feel it there, the desire to call him what you've been wanting to call him since the day you met. but that's a conversation for another day.

instead of words, you settle for a kiss. you lean down and touch your mouth to his, feel the gentle scratch of his scruff against your chin as you open a bit wider to allow his tongue to prod inside, just for a moment. he tastes like comfort, feels like safety.

daddy.

[whackk-kermitt]

Baldur is Babygirl

Someone asked for Baldur to join the headcanon club, so here’s what he missed. . .

≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪

Confessing Your Love

He didn't really care all that much when you first told him you loved him.

You didn't make him feel anything, you didn't give him anything, so you were worthless to him.

Until he found that you had been looking into how to break his curse.

He was confused why anyone would care enough to help him feel again, he was a useful tool to Odin, and a mad burden to everyone else.

What would you get from him feeling?

Perhaps you thought that if the curse was broken and he could feel again, that, just maybe, he would feel something for you?

It was almost laughable, pitiful.

It was also something that got him thinking.

He wants nothing more then for something like that, wants to feel again.

But the idea of holding a lover and still not knowing the warmth of them was a hell he was not interested in.

So he swore to you that if you could break his curse, he would be yours to hold.

A promise he took very seriously.

Nicknames

Pet.

You are "pet".

If he's feeling romantic, he'll drop a "Darling."

But its almost always pet.

Sometimes it sounds cute, sometimes mean or sarcastic.

Yet it's oddly alluring anytime he says it.

Probably only because it's him saying it.

He enjoys when you call him handsome, or your man.

They aren't really nicknames, but you say it often enough that they might as well be.

Don't stop either, it makes him feel a certain type of way.

How He Proposed

He just blurted it out.

Didn't even think about marrying you until right then.

But he is so serious about it.

How could anybody be so perfect?

How could anyone make him feel so happy when they aren't doing anything to try and make him happy?

How are you just standing there, doing what you're doing, and he's the happiest he's ever been just by watching?

That doesn't make sense to him.

If he starts thinking about it his head hurts.

But having you all to himself, for the rest of forever, just feels right.

So he just blurts it out.

≫ ────── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────── ≪

Not Proof-read!

•Kermitts Masterlist•

[lostusagis]

@jiraipink asked:

comforting (MUI NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NAMIDA'S COMING BABYGIRL!!! ; A ;)

send me    ‘ comforting ‘    for my muse’s reaction to yours gently wiping their tears away after they’ve been caught crying 

Whenever he'd visit Namida, it was definitely solace for him. A place where he could relax, where he didn't have to wear a mask. He could just be himself. Yet, this time around... visiting her just made him anxious. His mind was running a mile a minute, thinking about when he was told Namida was considering making someone her boyfriend. Being told that led to Kamui being..... less affectionate. The hugs were not as long, he hadn't even initiated any hand holding. He was really awkward, and nervous with very weak smiles.

His chest hurt, feeling like something was squeezing it so brutally. It made Kamui wish he could just rip it out and end the pain. Even during this, pretending he was okay was hard.

What hurt more was thinking Namida was getting fed up with him. All the things he did to upset her kept playing in his mind. She had finally left him alone in her living room for a bit to take care of whatever she needed to. Kamui wasn't even sure why he came over. She eventually wouldn't want him around anymore, right?

All he does is hurt her, all he does is screw up. He was an idiot. He was pathetic. He was worthless. Weak. Stupid. Garbage.

He was starting to fall apart, as his emotions and thoughts went out of control. His body would even start trembling as he bites on his bottom lip while hanging his head down.

( Don't cry. This is your own fault. For being so worthless, she decided you weren't deserving of her time. )

What if eventually he hurt her more, or even killed her? Maybe he would accidentally kill her. That's how stupid he was. Never capable of doing things right. He abandoned his own family before after all. It was only right the ones he cared for now, abandoned him. That's what he deserved. Because he was worthless.

Worthless. Worthless. Worthless.

He didn't deserve Namida in his life. She deserved someone who will never hurt her, who will appreciate that kindness, that warmth she'll make him feel from just smiling.

He.... didn't deserve that.

The sniffles would soon come out, before one of his bandaged hands laces through his bangs. Tears filled his eyes, features looking pained and despairing.

He didn't deserve her.

Kamui would start to struggle to hold back the sobs threatening to explode. It hurt so much. Everything hurt. He wasn't even wounded, but it felt like a sword painfully impaled him in the chest, continuously stabbing at his heart.

He had been so wrapped into his inner thoughts, he hadn't noticed Namida up until he felt the gentle touch of her fingers. A slight gasp escapes his lips when looking up at her from the sofa. Namida always..... showed him so much kindness like this. Yet, time after time he upset her. Kamui was the worst type of guy, treating her like that.

Worthless.... worthless..... maybe she'd be better off if he wasn't around.

Kamui's hand grabbed her wrist, his ahoge had drooped down as he'd look up at her. ''....Stop... please...'' Words came out like a plea, because her kindness was going to make him be selfish when he should only think about her well being.

Who cares if this brought him comfort, and happiness. If he made someone so important to him cry, then he was undeserving of anything good.

His unease was so evident through the way his grip showed how much his body trembled. ''I'm... I'm fine Namida. Nothing's wrong.'' His lying was so poor, little effort was put while he was an emotional mess.

''...I'm fine... I'm fine... I'm fine....'' No matter how many times he'd repeat it to himself, it still wasn't true. Eventually, he just pulled her towards him. That selfishness took over, as he buried his face into her neck while hugging her so tightly. His weeping would only worsen, his whole body shook.

''....N...Namida...'' He struggled to even just get her name out, ''I'm sorry.....'' His embrace gets tighter, his resolve gets weaker. He's torn about, crying like a desperate little child.

''I'm a pain..... right? I... I always upset you.... Of course you wouldn't to deal with that anymore. I'm not good with friendship, I don't know anything about being friends, hell.... I'm an awful brother too.'' All the self-deprecating thoughts were being spit out, believing that only made him that much more pathetic of a person. Kamui was being selfish, when she was better off without him. Someone else was better for her, he shouldn't interfere.

''.....Even if I'm aware of that though....Staying away is so hard. Imagining a life where you're not there now, is impossible. But if you told me directly.... you didn't want me around, or touching you like this, maybe that'll help. Maybe that'll stop me from being delusional enough to believe I ever deserved any of your time.'' Even if being told that by her was frightening, and likely one of the most painful things he'll ever experience, Kamui needed a reality check. He needed to do one good thing for her as a friend.

He had to put her happiness above his own.

Even if it hurt, even if all of this hurt enough to make him feel like he was going to break, it was fine. Namida..... would be happy.

[not-me-haha]

If only... -yjw

Fifteenth chapter: Life or Death.

"Hello Y/N, miss me?"

It was Altari with his devilish smile which sent shivers down your spine.

You put on a fierce face eventhough you were terrified and said, "No, now get out of my way."

"You go out of here its game over." He said a bit louder. You froze not knowing what to do. Jungwon was right there outside. But somehow he couldnt sense the fact that Altari was inside, with you.

You turned to face him, "Why?"

"Because your boyfriend promised my family that he would never let us kill in their area and I want to prove him wrong. I want to prove him wrong by taking you and your life."

"And that's not going to happen" said a distant voice. It was Min Chae. You wondered how she got here.

"Sis, what a great surprise! This target is all mine though, can't share." He replied with that nasty smirk of his.

"Why don't you go fuck yourself Altari, you're just jealous of Jungwon because he's better than you." Min Chae motioned you to start backing off.

"You seriously know how to get on my last nerve. There's a reason why you're the outcast of our family. What does Jungwon have that I don't huh?"

Min Chae started laughing. That laugh was enough to answer Altari's question which made him angry so angry that his veins were about to pop out of his head. "The girl." He said. "That's what I don't have."

Min Chae's sarcastic smile disappeared, she looked at you and then at him, "You're going to kill a worthless mortal to prove that you're better? I dont think the elders will appreciate it, just proves that you're childish and insecure" she said stepping in front of him to block his view of you.

"Oh I'm not going to kill her, i will keep her with me till she chooses me over Jungwon and that wont be too hard right after all its a choice between life and death." Saying that he pushed Min Chae away and pounced in your direction. Suddenly everyone around you froze except Min Chae who was trying to get out the screwdriver that pierced into her body when she fell. Altari used his power.

He was fast but you were figuring out ways to escape ever since Min Chae told you to get back. But it wasn't enough, he could easily outrun you and strength was not even a factor here. You ran backwards towards the glass walls through which you could see Jungwon still unaware of what was going on inside. You slammed on to the wall to alert him and grabbed a rod to defend yourself. Altari jumped on you and pushed you on to the ground, the rod wasn't much help. "Life or Death, y/n? Me or Jungwon?" he asked, you cried and tried to push him away but his sharp claws started digging inside your skin.

If you had to die then you'd atleast want to do it in style you thought. "What is this a competition, even so you're no match for him. Life or death right? I'll die for him then. Kill me, you will always be that pathetic loser and he will always be the one for whom i died." Altari loosened his grip around you looking away and that was your chance, you grabbed the rod and pierced it right through his neck. He backed off screaming in pain but to your horror he started laughing like a psychopath. How did he not die?

"Oh babygirl, you think this is going to kill me."

"But this will." Jungwon's hand ripped through Altari's flesh and pulled out his heart. Blood splattered everywhere. Altari's dying body collapsed.

"I told you i will come when you think of me." he hugged you, you broke down in his embrace.

"I'll die for you too." He whispered so that you won't hear him

Masterlist hehe

[mysticalrambling]

Ending It All Part 2 (C.E)

A/N: Here you go guys. Much awaited part 2 is here. I am so in love with this particular fan fiction and hope you guys like it. If you want me to write any blurbs related to this series, do let me know.I am open to requests.

._._._._._.

Part 1 

Chris Evans Fan fiction (Fan fiction Masterlist)

Summary: Chris regrets divorcing you and he tries to mend the relationship. However, you have already moved on with Tom Hiddleston and are quite happy. He has to just stand back while you and your children become closer to Tom and it is all his fault.

Warnings: Angst all the way.

._._._._._.

“Coming in?” Chris turned his face towards you with a questioning look in his eyes.

“No, I have some work. Just wanted to drop the kids off myself.” Your ex husband’s house was on your way so you just saved him a trip.

“Not even for coffee, darling?”

“Sorry but I will have to say no.” You still got flustered when he called you with nicknames. You had once decided to tell him to stop calling you with all these terms of endearment but you couldn’t build up the courage to do it.

It has been over a year since your divorce and the moment you think you are over him, he is right there to bring those feelings back. You were a mess when he moved out and you had to see him on the weekends for the kids. It looked like you were drowning and you couldn’t come up for fresh air. It was exhausting but after several months, it didn’t hurt that much. It didn’t feel like your heart was tearing into shreds. You felt numb but that was better than feeling like your heart was being ripped out of your chest.

“That’s fine. See you Sunday?”

These were the only few sentences that were spoken between the two of you since the divorce. This was your new normal and you were starting to adjust to it. “Yeah, bye.”

“Who wants pancakes?” Sighing, he turned around and asked in a fake, cheerful voice. He didn’t get to be disappointed. These were the the seeds that he sow and he had to reap the results.

“I do.” A collective chorus came from the living room as they had already started to play with Dodger. Dodger was adopted from a shelter home about two weeks into the divorce. Loneliness was a destructive force and Chris hadn’t come to that realization until he was sitting in his home at eight, all alone. No laughter, no mess, no companionship. He went out that day and got a new dog. The apartment was eating him alive because it was a reminder of his ‘new life’. More like his ruined life.

“Daddy, you goin’ to be there for my match?” Jace looked up at his father and hoped that he wasn’t going to say no. There have been too many occasions this past year where he was not there for his children like Easter or Mia’s first day of school. He was either too busy with his career or he couldn’t bear to be with his family knowing that he wouldn’t be going home with them. He wasn’t strong enough to handle that truth.

“I’ll be there but I have work afterwards so I can only be there for half time.” The apologetic tone was all too familiar to the kids now so they just stayed quiet.

Chris noticed their disappointed look and continued, “When I get back, we’ll go to Disneyland for the whole weekend.”

“Mommy and Tommy will be going as well?”

Stopping in between making the pancakes, he asked with a venom laced tone, “Tommy who, Jace?”

“Mommy’s new friend. We like him.” Your son continued petting the dog without realizing the damage he is doing to his father. “New friend” was always a code for boyfriend and Chris didn’t know what to do with that information.

He knew that you had gone on a few dates with Tom Hiddleston because of the paparazzi. But he didn’t know that you both were serious. Your kids knew about him so it was pretty damn serious.

“He won’t be going with us.” Speaking with finality, he resumed cooking. You were his and that was not going to change. He knew he was being unfair but when it came to you, he lost all rationality.

“But he is our new dad.” Mia whined from her place and Chris just looked at her with a wounded look. His babygirl was putting someone else in his place.

His voice boomed throughout the house and both the kids looked at him with tears in their widened eyes, “I’m your only dad. Don’t you ever say that.”

“‘m sorry, daddy. Didn’t mean to make you mad.” Her chin wobbled and Chris was quick to realize his mistake. It was not your children’s fault. It was not your fault. It was his fault.

“Not your fault, baby. But you only have one daddy and that’s me.” Kissing her forehead, he wiped the single tear that managed to escape her blue eyes.

“’kay.” The kids got distracted again but Chris did not forget. He was still seething from the inside because Tom may have taken you away from him but he damn well couldn’t take his children.

They all get ice cream afterwards and the kids fall asleep in their rooms that Chris built from scratch. It was a lengthy process because he just kept remembering the times when he decorated their nursery with you. Such a beautiful memory and he was ruining it. The guilt ate him up inside when he realized that he may not get to ever decorate a nursery for your children again. He may not get to expand his family with you again. Again, it was his fault.

“Sorry, ‘m late. Work was hectic today.” Everything was so busy today because your boss signed up a new contract and he has been impossible to work with. You just wanted to go home and sleep for the whole week.

“It’s okay. They’re sleepin’ upstairs. Listen, we need to talk.” He was too consumed by anger and hurt to notice that you were too exhausted for everything.

“Go on.” You urged him, figuring that he might say that he won’t be able to make it to your son’s match. This was what most of your conversations were based on; him saying that he is too busy to be present at occasions related to your children.

“Why are my children referring to your boyfriend as dad?” He nothing but spat that sentence.

“I- I didn’t know about any of this. I’ll talk to them.” Stuttering, you tried to mediate the situation but nothing seemed to get through to him at the moment.

“No need. I already did that but for next time, keep your boyfriends away from my children.”

“Our children and I don’t let anyone near my children. We are serious.” You were offended by his crude tone and you weren’t just going to let him walk all over you.

“You can’t be serious with him. As a matter of fact, you can’t be serious with anyone.” Your ex husband declared it like it was a law. He didn’t know how to react to what you said. All the pain was converted into anger because that was his current form of expression.

“Are you serious?” This was all too much for you to handle. How could he say that?

“Yes. You only belong with me. I regret it so much (Y/N).” Chris’s expressions told you where he was going.

“Oh, stop. You can’t just do that. Can’t come bargin’ in my life and mess it all up again. I am happy.”

Chris reached out his hand but you took a step back. He was not allowed to touch you anymore. “I was mistaken. My career is not above you, darlin’. Never was.”

“You made me feel worthless. You made me feel as if I was the reason our marriage ended. Won’t allow myself to get sucked back into this relationship.”

“I know I broke our family. I tore us apart and didn’t even apologize for it properly. I’m so fucking sorry, baby.” There was a stream of tears running down his face and you wanted to wipe them away but you resisted.

There were still times when you wished that you were still happily married to Chris. That you still had your perfect, little family. The divorce made you feel worthless and lonely. There were times when you couldn’t even look at your children because they were the exact replica of your ex husband. You once adored the fact that they were his carbon copy. However, now you couldn’t help but get angry. How could he leave little pieces of himself behind and think that you could move on with your life.

It was all because you were with another man. He never said all these things when you were alone and you suffered from depression. There were days when you couldn’t get out of bed to get your kids ready for school. You knew that Jace had informed him because he was really worried about you and he always shared his troubling thoughts with Chris. But he didn’t do anything about it. He stayed quiet and you had to pull all the pieces back together yourself. It was all tape and glue. Your ex husband didn’t get to come back and dismantle your progress. You wouldn’t let him.

“You can’t do this. Can’t come back. I am with Tom now so stop trying to fix things that you already broke.” Your face was red with anger and all the energy was drained out of your body.

“Please, just give me a chance.”

“No!” You couldn’t choose Chris again. You had to choose yourself. You chose to think about your needs and your feelings for the first time in seven years. That’s why you agreed to go on a date with Tom. He surpassed your expectations the first time and you knew that he could be your partner. No one could compare to Chris but Tom made his own place in your heart and you were glad about it. You continued on, “Tom is good for me so please don’t ruin my happiness again.”

Tom was great. He was good with the kids and he was slowly becoming an integral part of your life. You still missed Chris because that man was the love of your life for seven years and those feelings can’t just disappear with a single piece of paper. You were glad to have Tom in your life and you knew that as time would pass, you will love him with your whole heart. However, a small part of you would never forget Chris and would always wonder about the what ifs. What if you were still together? What if you had more children? What it you got to grow old together? Broken dreams are what hurts the most.

“I don’t want to be a cause of that. Not again. But I want to make things right.” He unintentionally came closer to you, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. Sorry I wasn’t there for our kids. Sorry that I broke you, baby.”

“A sorry doesn’t fix anything.” His chest was hallowing from inside out but he didn’t want to back down. Not now. Not ever.

“Just answer one question for me. Are you truly happy?” A tremble was prominent in his voice but you tried to ignore it.

“I-I am. For a long time, I wasn’t but I am now.” You spoke with such conviction that he knew you were over him.

You would always love Chris but now it was time for you to move on with your life. It was time to leave the past and delve into the future. Chris would always own a piece of your heart but you are going to allow Tom to have an opportunity as well. You will open your heart again to love. You were sure now.

“Okay. I will get the kids for you.” He backed off like he promised he would. You knew at that moment that it was all over.

Watching you drive away with his kids was heart breaking for him and he just watched helplessly. Chris still wanted to cry, beg and apologize. He wanted you to take him back but it was all his fault. He ruined you once, he couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t interrupt your new life. It doesn’t all revolve around him but he was okay to remain on the sidelines while you enjoy your life. He will be there for you if you needed him.

You are happy and that should be enough for him but he wants to be selfish again. He wants to fight for you but it’s all too late. You were with someone else. He lost his chance.

Wednesday rolled in pretty quickly and Chris dreaded going to the match. You were going to be there with your new boyfriend but he didn’t want to miss his son’s game. He could only be there till half time already so it wouldn’t be that awkward.

“I just wanted to be here for Jace. Won’t cause any problems.” Chris took a seat beside Mia when he saw you shifting uncomfortably. The seat that should have belonged to him was currently being occupied by your boyfriend but Chris just bottled up all his feelings. It was not right to still think of you as his wife.

“It’s okay. Let’s just forget about everything.” You wanted to move on and did not want anything to hold you back.

“Okay. Mia, you want Kit Kat?” Offering her a large chocolate bar, he started talking with his daughter so that he could distract himself from you and Tom.

“What is happening, love?” Tom questioned when he saw that his former co-star did not even glance at him properly.

Chris and Tom were not the best of buds but they were still good acquaintances. He thought that dating you wouldn’t be a problem because Scarlett had informed him that Chris was the one who asked for divorce. However, this situation made him realize that Chris was jealous. He still had feelings for you and Tom didn’t know how to react to that.

“Nothing of importance. Let’s just focus on my baby boy.” Saying that, you cheered for Jace as he made his first goal. He was an exceptional player like his father and you knew that he would pursue football as his career. Jace was really passionate about football. If Chris didn’t become an actor then he would have definitely tried out for football.

There were times when he used to take you to the park so you would play with him. It was your thing. Maybe he had replaced you with someone by now as well but what you didn’t know was that Chris had stopped playing football altogether. Like many things in his life, it reminded him of you and it was just too much to bear.

“You are doing great, buddy.”Jace immediately asked Chris to pick him up as you gave him his Captain America water bottle. It was half time and Chris had to leave for shooting. He was getting late but he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

“Thank you, mommy. Ollie doesn’t listen to me that much so coach is angry at him.” Babbling on, he rested his head on his father’s shoulder.

“Okay, buddy. I have to leave now but I will call you when your game is finished.”

“Won’t be going with us to Chick-fil-A?”

“Uhh-” He cluelessly glanced at you because he didn’t know what his son was talking about.

“I wanted to give him a treat after the match.” Tom butted into the conversation to prove that he was a part of the kid’s lives as well.

Chris could have actually made it to the restaurant because he would be free in an hour tops. However, he decided against it. He had to take a step back for you. Of course, he would be there for his children but Tom should be given a fair chance as well.

“I won’t be able to make it buddy. You enjoy with Mommy and Tom. I’ll take you and Mia to Disneyland this weekend as I promised.”

“Okay, daddy. Love you.”

“Love you too, baby.” Giving him to you, he turned to leave. It was hard for him to do this but it had to be done. Chris wiped his eyes discreetly as he saw you all laughing together. This was his fault and he would have to bear the consequences.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

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A/N: This story had me in tears from the very start. I cried when I was writing it. Again, I am open to blurbs for this series and other requests. Tell me if you want to be added to my tag list.

Tag list: @peculiarpenman, @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile, @iguessweallcrazyithinktho, @jessyballet, @caanyoonmoon, @coldmuffinpartycloud, @marvelfansworld, @agnesk, @lauracontisstuff, @deepintothenature, @xcaptain-winterx, @nostxlgia18, @sophiaedits , @luckyladycreator2, @mrspeacem1nusone

Like, comment and reblog.

P.S. If you want blurbs and epilogue related to this series, please send in requests. I will need some ideas.

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[lewyn-martell]

I’m just completely addicted to Rhea’s interviews (all the time) but especially after this episode. Like some media takes are just “oh she chose to be good” or “she’s Saul’s casualty” and she’s just like “nah Jimmy will mask up because the one person who told him he wasn’t worthless is gone and Kim will vanish herself because she doesn’t even think she deserves love at this point”

DUDE!! one of the first things to completely strike me about Rhea Seehorn is just how SMART she is. i've said this before: i wasn't planning on watching better call saul ever because i was never into breaking bad too much, but people i like posted about it and it intrigued me a bit to put it on the list (mostly because it was crystal clear the amoral clown of a lawyer from that show i watched a few seasons of some years back was someone's babygirl/malewife) BUT THEN i saw this post and idk why I started to read it while not even knowing the show, but it seriously made me LOSE. MY. SHIT. i fucked up my whole uni schedule to rewatch breaking bad as soon as i could so i could go on and watch better call saul because I NEEDED to see a show where an actor talks like that. It really stayed with me and I went completely insane just reading her talking about it.

this is what i want when i read an interview, this level of thought, of eloquence, of knowing exactly what you're talking about because you have thought about it so much. i don't think i'm exaggerating to say she is that smart because you can help yourself at any time at all of a large serving of bullshit opinions about this show/character just by doing a quick trip to reddit or twitter land. besides, you just have to listen to the audio commentaries where the bcs crew says multiple times that you might not think that at first because she's so unassuming, but she is actually crazy smart and she picks up the best lines of thought to dissect about a character. reading/listening to her saying anything at all about kim or this show is a pleasure every single time because she gives importance to the same stuff i do and she chooses her words so well and I never have to worry i might read something dumb djsjkjsdoijdsoij (back during succ season i had to)

even after this episode as you said, it's clear she knows exactly the pulse of it, I even had to read somewhere (in an article no less) stuff like "kim loves jimmy but she loves the law more" LIKE. NO!! you don't get it!!!! you get to talk to rhea seehorn and you still don't get it????? but of course what SHE says it's the best dissection anyone could ever give about it. you know that loneliness when you're very into something with no one to talk to or no one who gets it? i don't even have that case of blues that strongly this time because of her sdkjndskjndksjn i can trust EVERYTHING she says

honestly thank god we have rhea seehorn in people's radars now because this is the kind of actor creators dream every night about having on their show and PLEASE just give her the emmy

[minniepetals]

a cup of love

— summary: some days they can forget to appreciate you but even then, you’ll never stop to show them that you care

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: fluff, angst, mafia!au

— word count: 2.2k

— warnings: koo yells at reader (but apologizes!), the boys aren’t exactly good boys until the end

— a/n: here’s another one hehe

"Are you alright?"

Namjoon grunts with a nod as he proceeds to scribble things down onto the papers in front of him. "Yeah, don't worry about it." His reply is curt, emotionless, with brows that furrows as he refuses to look up when you've walked into his office.

"Perhaps you should take a break," you suggest but the mafia boss only deepens his brows even more.

"I have no time for a break. The newbies have already gotten on my nerves for being stupid and clueless so please, if you could just leave."

You let out a small sigh at his response but understand the stress and pressure is getting to him so you don't blame Namjoon for being short with you. "I'll go but," your brows knits together, "please remember to rest when you can. I'm worried."

There is only a low grunt in response so you place the cup of tea on his desk, careful not to put it near a place where he can accidentally move it and spill the drink. You aren't sure if he sees you doing this, eyes too focused on the things in front of him, so you take out a little post it note and scribble a few words before leaving him be with a quick kiss to his head.

You hope your little treat can help him.

When you leave Namjoon's office, it seems not only is the big boss short and upset today but also the rest of your boyfriends.

They're off for whatever reasons even as you take some time to visit them, realizing you staying with them isn't helping much of the situation so you opt with stirring up some tea (and coffee for the ones who prefer them) and leave little notes of encouragement and love to let them know that you're here for whenever they need it.

It's a little dejecting knowing they wouldn't like to have you around during their stressful times because most times they'll come seeking for your attention, wanting you to hold them, to whisper soft words, to let you and only you see their pouty and true sides of when they aren't being all big and bad for the gang. And if they won't come fetching for you, you'd go to them and things would be less stressful on their ends.

But today isn't a good day.

It isn't good at all.

So you let them have their space, knowing they need it most, and support them from afar with a soft smile and a whisper of "I'm here if you need it."

Even as you find Jungkook in the training room holding a gun and missing almost every time.

He never misses.

Never.

So during the times he does, he throws a fit, slamming the gun down hard onto the cold surface of the floor with a frustrated grunt and allowing it to break into tiny pieces.

You jump at the sudden action, brows knitted with worry. "Jung–"

"God!" He shouts and punches the wall. Your heart breaks at the sight and when he turns at your presence, it hurts you even more seeing how angry he is. "Just leave, will you?"

"You're hurt–"

"Just go!" He demands and you stand there, frozen, because it's the first time he's ever yelled at you. You know Jungkook, he hates shouting at the people he loves because he knows he will regret it later on and he's once told you despite how much he does it to the members of the gang, that he'd never raise his voice at you.

So this surprises you.

And also hurts you.

But you know he isn't in his right mind. He's just angry and annoyed and frustrated. This isn't the Jungkook you know so you take a step back, though slightly afraid because you had just gotten yelled at, and try to steady your breathing. "I'm sorry," you tell him. You aren't sure what exactly you're apologizing for but it feels right. You made him even more angry after all. "I-I'm here for you, alright? Just remember that."

He doesn't say a thing and only turns his back to you. Though it breaks your heart, you know this isn't the Jungkook you know. So you turn around and walk out the door.

Coming back a few minutes later with a herbal tea, some ointment and bandages for his hand, and a little note as quietly as you can.

Though maybe you didn't need to do that because either way, whether he knows you're there or not, Jungkook doesn't acknowledge your presence.

The days passes on. No messages, no visits, no frantically looking for you as they usually do.

You sit in the library, reading, though your mind can't come to comprehend anything you've read because the only thing you're stuck on is worrying about your boys.

They aren't in the right state of mind but you aren't sure how to help so you end up just overthinking everything until eventually your mind gets too tired and your body curls up into a little ball, book hugging against your chest, and your eyes falls shut.

It's only until hours later do they finally find the cup of (now cold) coffee and tea and the little post it notes you've given them all to try and make things better.

"I love you," Taehyung stares at the little heart you drew, "please remember to love and take care of yourself as well! I hate seeing you so stressed." There is a sad little face at the end that tugs at his heart and his eyes look on over at the cup of chamomile tea you've brewed for him.

"God, I've messed up," the man groans as he leans back into his chair and puts his forearm over his eyes.

When Jimin walks into the training room, Jungkook's lying flat on the blue mat shirtless as he stares up at the ceiling, breathing ragged and hard from the continuous training he's forced himself to have.

"Kook," the older one calls as he spots your little gift for Jungkook on a barstool, "Y/N made some–wait, why did she put some ointment and a roll of bandages for you? What the hell did you do?"

He's quick to run over to the younger man and rest his legs on either side of him, sitting right on top of his stomach and letting Jungkook give out a soft "oomph" at the sudden action.

"What the hell, hyung?"

He's still irritated.

"Did you see what Y/N left you?" Jimin asks as he scans the younger one's body to see what exactly made you leave the medicine for him. "I was short with her today but babygirl still made me coffee and left me a little note of encouragement. She–ah, there it is." He sighs at the sight of the maknae's red knuckles and looks back at him with a disapproving stare. "Did you get angry and smash a wall again?"

Jungkook grunts as he moves, forcing his hyung to get off him. "Whatever. Why does it matter anyway?" He sits up and grabs his black shirt from the floor to put it back on as he heads over to the barstool. Eyeing the three things, Jungkook sighs as he takes the ointment to apply it on himself, ignoring the tea that's obviously cold at this point without caring to read the post it note.

"We're about to go home soon," Jimin tells him. "You know where Y/N is?"

"She hasn't gone home?"

"She'll usually text us if she does. Plus you know she isn't allowed to leave by herself."

He rolls his eyes and finishes wrapping the bandage around his hand before taking a moment to read whatever you had to say.

"Hey Kook, I know you aren't exactly yourself at the moment but that's alright, I know you never meant to yell at me."

Crap. He yelled at you.

"It's okay to let it out once in a while, you're human after all. It doesn't matter what anyone else says, you'll always be my sweet Jungkook who never forgets to shower me with love. Don't beat yourself up too much, alright? I love you and will always, always be proud of you no matter what."

"What'd she say?" Jimin asks a few seconds later when Jungkook seems to just be staring at the note for the longest time.

"I yelled at her, hyung," he whispers.

"What?"

"I yelled at our babygirl," he repeats a little louder. "Crap I...I yelled at her when she was just trying to help and-"

"Yeah, I'm not exactly proud of what I did today either."

"We have to find her." He's quick to jump back onto his feet. "God I'm such an idiot."

"Where's Y/N?" Seokjin asks the younger ones minutes later when they find each other in the hall.

Jimin's brows furrow. "You mean she wasn't with you?"

The oldest cringes. "I wasn't exactly...kind to her today."

"You're saying we all messed up today?" Yoongi asks as he emerges from the other end of the hall with Namjoon, Taehyung, and Hoseok right behind him.

"You're saying we all made her feel worthless today?" Jimin raises a brow and Jungkook utters a curse under his breath.

"I yelled at our babygirl."

"Come on," Hoseok urges with a sigh, "let's go find her to make things right again."

It took a while.

A few minutes before someone ended up telling them they'd seen you walk into the library and the big bosses were quick to rush in, shouting for your name.

Only to immediately fall silent when they find your sleeping on an armchair with a book held closely to your chest. Your breathing is long and deep, chest rising and falling in a steady beat and their hearts fall at how innocent you look because they've literally done wrong all of today. Yet despite it all, the post it notes held in their hands and kept in their pockets are nothing but sweet words and reminders that you love them still and wish for them to take care of themselves.

They did you wrong yet you never grew angry at them for it, only more worried and concerned and it breaks their hearts knowing this.

Jungkook falls to his knees in front of you, brows knitting with guilt as he strokes your cheek. "Babygirl," he whispers softly and hesitantly. "Babygirl? Can you wake up, sweetheart?"

You could hardly believe the softness in his tone after being yelled at, almost forgetting about what had happened today until you're blinking awake to find the man staring at you with eyes filled with regret.

"..Kook...?" You call in a croaky tone, still adjusting to waking up.

"Oh babygirl," he sighs and wraps his arms around your waist and place his head down against your lap. "I'm so, so sorry, my love. I didn't mean to take my anger out on you. I was so wrong to yell at you when you had only wanted to help."

"We were all wrong today," Namjoon says as he purses his lips. "You were only trying to help and we shut you out."

"Hey..." you shake your head slowly, eyes still sleepy with a lethargic smile. "It's okay..you weren't yourselves today."

"That's not a valid excuse," Hoseok frowns.

"We were wrong. We shouldn't have shut you out," Taehyung agrees.

"You always manage to make things better," Yoongi says as he takes your hand. "We should have leaned on you instead of lashing out and making you feel worthless."

"It's okay, I promise you," you assure him with a light squeeze of his hand.

"You may have forgiven us but we aren't going to forgive ourselves that easily," Jimin vows and the maknae looks up, nodding.

You catch the small trail of tears brimming along his eyes and your heart softens. "Oh Jungkook, please don't cry."

"But I yelled at you and I promised that I wouldn't but I did." He squeezes you tightly. "You didn't deserve that."

"I understand you, I promise."

"It's not fair," the man pouts, "why are you so forgiving? We don't deserve this."

"You should be angry at us instead," Seokjin agrees.

Yet you shake your head again. "It's okay, I promise. But, are you alright now? Do you wish to talk about it? I'm here to listen, I promise I–"

"We'll deal with it babygirl," Namjoon tells you. "We'll deal with it rationally this time without letting the frustration blind us again."

You giggle and it makes them relieved to hear such beautiful music ringing in their ears. "Are we going home now?" You ask and Jungkook's quick to get up.

But he doesn't let you go, only opening his arms to invite you in. "Let's go home," he says and you let him easily pick you up. "But," the man pauses before he can proceed to walk out the doors. His gaze is serious as he stares at you and give you a kiss on your lips. "This doesn't mean we're done with apologizing, alright?"

You giggle again. "Alright then," you allow, "I guess I deserve that today, hm?"

"More than anything."

[football-writing]

Mason Mount - believe in me

Warning: contains mentions of mental health issues and depictions of a panic attack. Also is generally a bit of an angsty one so if you're not comfortable with reading any of that please skip this! And if you yourself are struggling with mental health, I'm always here for you! <3

*also panic attacks can differ from person to person so please take everything i've written with a grain of salt lmao

He was franctically looking for his car keys after the texts he had gotten from her.

"Mase can you come over?

i need u

please"

Double texting wasn't a rare occurence between the two of them, but the tone of texts made worry take over as he quickly texted her back that he'd be there soon.

And as soon as he found his keys, he was sprinting for his car and driving as fast as he legally could to get to her apartment, cursing as he couldn't find a parking spot quick enough for his liking. Then running up the stairs, taking two steps at a time to get to her as soon as possible.

Her door was open already, something she always did when she knew he was coming over, despite him scolding her for it everytime because he was scared someone was gonna break in and hurt her.

Those thoughts were on the back of his mind now as he rushed in, finding her sitting in front of her couch with her knees up to her chest, hugging them tight as her forehead was rested on top of them, shielding her face. Papers were spread around her, some crumbled up in balls, others thrown a few feet in front of her. The mess that was her apartment was a red flag for him, but it didn't shock him as much as the state she was in. Her breaths came out hard and fast as she barely could breath between her erratic sobs.

He stood frozen as he watched her. As quick as he got here, he had no idea what to do when he saw her like that. His chest tightened at seeing her like this, and he was ready to fight whichever bastard caused her to feel this way. Yet the rational side of him knew that that was of no use to her now. But what was? What was he supposed to do when his she was this upset? Sure he'd seen her upset before. But not like this.

He realised he couldn't just stand there either, and so took a few steps towards her. The sound of his footsteps alerted her of his presence, and she looked up through watery eyelashes. Her pale face stained with rundown mascara from her tears, her lips quivering as she silenced her sobs for a short moment to look at him. Yet as soon as she made eyecontact with him, and opened her mouth to try to explain what was going on, or apologise for the state she was in, a loud sob escaped, her breath stocking in her throat as tears flooded her eyes once again.

This time he didn't freeze, although his heart ached just as bad, if not worse. He took another couple of steps until he was right next to her, crouching down as his eyes remained focused on her form.

"Hey sweetheart. Shh, it's okay. Can I hug you, baby?" His tone was soft as he asked her, yet she shook her head vigorously and squeezed her eyes shut tightly at his question as her breathing instantly became more uneven, and he thought she was going to faint if her breathing came out any faster than it did now.

But how was he going to comfort her when she didn't want him to hold her?

It was then that he remembered one of his mates telling him about a panic attack he had, how he couldn't think straight, or breathe, barely utter out a coherent sentence as his mind had wandered to awful things, and although it had sounded rough to him at the time, seeing her like this made him fully recognise how terrifying it is. He wished he had asked his mate more about it, then, so he knew what to do. Although he had no idea how to start such a conversation with him. Nor with her, for that matter.

So he did what he thought would help her most. He picked up some of the papers spread out around her, neatly stacking them together as he emptied a space next to her. Enough so he could sit down there, his back against the couch just like hers. Soothing words spilled from his lips in an attempt to calm her down. He almost reached out a hand to touch her, rub her back soothingly, or stroke her hair to make sure it didn't get in her face. Yet he withheld his urge to do so, even if it was the most natural way for him to comfort her.

"Hey. You don't have to say anything, okay? It's gonna be okay, I'm here. Shh, it's okay, love. I'm not going anywhere."

His soothing words did nothing to ease her mind, her cries coming out more ragged than before. He had no idea how he could've possibly made it worse, and panicked as to what to say next. Instead, she started speaking, her words cut off by devestating sobs and hiccups and gasps as she tried to take in as much air as she could.

"I thought I had it under control but- but I don't and everyone hates me now. Everyone hates me! And there's too much and- I don't have time and everything is messed up and I don't know how to goddamn fix it - I can't fucking fix it. I don't know what to do- I can't do it, Mase. I can't do it." She repeated those last few words over and over like she was stuck in a bad mantra, her voice raw and loud and full of pain.

"Hey, babygirl. Shush, it's okay. No one hates you, alright. I wouldn't be here if I did, right?" He tried to reason with her, tried to swallow the lump in his throat and steady his voice, not wanting to let on how much it affected him. It would do her no good. "Just keep breathing, yeah. Deep breaths, babygirl, just like that." He said as he demonstrated how to do it. It took her a good few minutes to get her breathing under control again, but he was patient with her as he kept guiding her, words of encouragement filling the air every time her breathing threathened to become unsteady again.

After her breathing became steady, as steady as it could, her sobs still continued. Her eyes spilling tear after tear that ran down her cheeks only to be caught by the sleeves of her sweater that her chin rested upon.

"I'm such a failure. I can't even function properly and look at me! Look at the mess I made!" She cried out exasperated. "I'm so worthless Mase. You shouldn't even be here, I just bring you down. I'm no good Mason. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Y/N," He tone was commanding, forcing her to look up at him. He kept eye contact as he spoke. "If you cannot believe in yourself, believe in me. You are the most wonderful, funny, intelligent and allround beautiful person I know. You are not a failure. At all. Whatever this is, we can fix it, okay? I got you, and we'll figure it out together. I'm not going anywhere."

His words were reassuring enough for her to steady her breathing, which eased the tight feeling in his chest. She lifted her head too, instead opting to sit back against the couch completely, the back of her head resting on the seat.

"Can you-" a sob interrupted her softspoken words "distract me?" A whispered 'please' followed her question as she turned her face to look at him. Her eyes were puffy and red, as were her cheeks. She still looked incredibly upset, but her sobs were less loud, and she seemed to have calmed down considerably from the state she was in when he found her.

"Yeah. Of course." He smiled softly at her.

"Do you want me to tell you about my day?"

She nodded as she wiped her nose with the sleeve that was pulled over the back of her hand.

And so he told her all about what he had been up to. It felt weird talking about his day, after all it had been quite decent up until her text. Still, he tried to talk as animatedly as he could, knowing it would cheer her up. He told her about how his sister had texted him pictures of her daughter's birthday cake, or what was left of it as her daughter had eaten it. With her bare hands, that is. Her hands that she had also somehow rubbed over the entire dining table and parts of the couch.

The story got a small chuckle out of her, and after a few more sniffles she seemed to have stopped crying. Yet he told her about his training too, in hopes of hearing her beautiful laugh ring throug his ears once again. He told her about how him and some of his teammates had dared Ben to get in the washing machine, and locked him up for a bit too. How funny he looked through the little window of the machine, how one of his mates had nearly pissed himself laughing so hard, and how Thiago had come in with no clue what was going on, having the most confused look on his face as he saw Ben stuck in the washing machine. The others laughing even harder, some of them with tears in their eyes.

The story made a smile appear on her face, but it wasn't until he showed her the video on his phone that she actually let out a small laugh. She had scooted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder to watch the video.

Somewhere along the whole ordeal he had resorted to pulling his knees up, rubbing his own shins in comfort instead of reaching out to her. It was instinctual, really, and he hadn't even noticed he was doing it, or still doing it, until she rested her hand atop of his, stopping his movement in the process.

"Sorry for scaring you. And saying no to the hug." She said sincerely after a few beats of silence, her voice still hoarse from crying, her fingers intertwining with his.

"Hey, no apologising for any of this, okay?" His voice was stern; he absolutely did not want her to feel guilty.

"Sorry." Although he couldn't see her face, and her voice still sounded strained, he knew she was smiling as she said it. Their usual teasing being back on meant she was okay. As much as she could be okay at this very moment.

"What did I just say, huh?" He joked as he put his arm around her, squeezing her tightly for a second before tracing soothing patterns on her upper arm with his indexfinger.

"You have these often?" His voice was more gentle than before, his tone serious again as he stilled his movements in anticipation of her answer.

"Yeah, sometimes. They come and go, really." She confessed.

"How come you never told me?"

"I don't know. Just never came up. S'not something you just blurt out." She shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, and he was quiet for a few beats before replying.

"I wouldn't have judged you, you know that, right?"

She hummed in response.

"Just want to make sure I know what to do to help you. How to make it more bearable for you."

"This was alright." Her voice was small, but his heart still warmed at her words.

He continued his tracing patterns on her arm then, as he contemplated what to say next.

"You want to talk about why it happened?" He could feel her tense under him as the question spilled from his mouth, and he scrunched up his nose in frustration as he cursed himself. Did he have to ask that and make her upset again?

"Not really. If that's okay?"

"Of course, love. I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about anything alright. We can do whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want my dear."

"Can we sit on the couch instead, then? My butt hurts from sitting on the floor." He let out a loud laugh at her sudden boldness. He knew they'd have another talk about it soon, once she wasn't as overwhelmed with emotions, and he hoped it wouldn't be necessary, but he wanted to learn more. Why she was stressed, what he could do to help her, both in situations like these, but also to prevent her from feeling like this at all.

"Will you cuddle with me, Mase?" She had made herself comfortable on the couch and grabbed the remote to look for something to watch on the telly, presumably her comfort series. Her voice cracked as she asked the question, and Mason smiled at that.

"I'll get you a glass of water first, 'ight?"

"And my blanket, please. It's in the right cupboard over there." She pointed to the right place as she smiled innocently at him. He rolled his eyes playfully at her request, pretending it was a mighty challenging request, and she stuck out her tongue in response. He also pretended not to hear her muttering something about spoiled footballers.

Still, it put a smile on his face. Even if she was still upset, knowing she could joke around with him, and felt comfortable enough doing so, meant that she wasn't in that bad place anymore. At least for now. He didn't want to risk her getting another panic attack while he wasn't there to help her though, so he opted to stay with her for the rest of the day and not moan about her jokes of him being a stereotypical footballer like he usually would.

It's not like he minded it all too much, anyway.

[alisonsfics]

6.7 Seconds

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Reader

Summary: Morgan and Y/N are both taken hostage and Morgan says some things he doesn’t mean, in order to appeal to the unsub

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Takes place in a hostage scenario. Acts of aggression/violence, but no gore. Mention of torture and sexism.

You had just been told by Hotch that you were going to have to go in and talk to the unsub. One on one. No gun. No backup. No nothing.

The unsub’s most prominent trait was his disgust for women. This disgust fueled his crimes, and you didn’t want to think about what he could do to you.

You were still processing that you had to go in, when you heard Morgan speak up. “Hotch, come on man. You can’t send her in there. He’s vile and he hates women. Do you have any idea what could happen to her?” He asked. His tone was teetering between anger and concern.

“Y/N is a well-trained agent and she can handle herself. This is the best shot we have at catching the unsub, we have to take it” Hotch rebutted. You lightly placed your hand on Morgan’s forearm. “Hey, I’ll be okay” you told him, wishing you could believe your own words.

Hotch gave you both a glance and led the rest of the team away for a second. “I appreciate that you’re worried, but I can handle myself” you reassured him. “I know you can, I don’t doubt you for a second, babygirl. But, we’ve seen what this guy does to women. I don’t want that to happen to you” he told you, still concerned.

Despite the current pit in your stomach, you still felt touched that Morgan cared so much.

The whole team knew that you were head over heels for Morgan, and they loved to bring it up all the time. However, Morgan had never caught wind of that fact.

“It won’t happen to me. You know why? Because I know you’ll be standing right outside, listening in. I know that if anything starts to go bad, you’ll be in there in a matter of seconds” you told him, giving him a soft smile.

The whole team loaded up into the SUV’s to go to the unsub’s house, where the SWAT team was already in position. The whole team got out of the cars and you handed your bulletproof vest to Hotch. “Be careful” he whispered to you, as he took it.

“You sure about this?” Morgan asked you, for the twentieth time. “I promise, I’ll be okay” you reassured him, hoping it was true. “Reid, how long would it take for us to get in there if something goes bad?” Morgan asked, looking over toward Reid. “Probably around 6.7 seconds, since we’re right outside” he answered. You could tell he had just done some complex math in his head, but it didn’t show at all.

“6.7 seconds” Morgan said to you, you knew it was his way of trying to comfort you. “6.7 seconds” you said in agreement. Morgan pulled you in for a quick hug, before letting you go. “Good luck” Reid said to you, as you walked away from the team, towards the house.

You took a deep breath and prayed that you would make it out of this house okay. You carefully opened the door and heard the unsub yell “In here!”. You followed the voice down the hallway, into what appeared to be his bedroom.

You saw pictures of each of the victims on the wall. Also, every news article about this case was hung up on the wall. You tried not to wince when you saw the pictures of the tortured women. You saw two pictures of women that you hadn’t found yet, and you had no idea if they were still alive.

“Well well, looks like your team was stupid enough to send you in. You’ve seen what I do to women. You won’t make it out of here alive” the unsub said, trying to intimidate you. Luckily, you had immense training that taught you how to mask your fear.

“My name is Agent Y/N...” you started to say before getting interrupted. “Your name doesn’t matter. You’re just another stupid slut, you all are” he said, aggressively.

Then, there was a crashing sound in the kitchen. Both of your eyes darted toward the sound. “What was that?” He hissed. He pulled out a zip tie and tied you to the desk.

This unsub knew you guys needed him alive and that gave him a feeling of power.

He pulled out his gun and went to investigate. You heard the distinctive voice of Derek Morgan say “get your hands off of me man”. You froze, did Morgan come inside? This was going to ruin the whole plan.

“Look who we have here. Someone tried to be Prince Charming and save the day” the unsub said, throwing Morgan onto the ground next to you. The unsub turned around to close the door.

“What are you doing here?” You mouthed, facing Morgan. “Follow my lead” he mouthed, in response. The unsub turned back around to face us.

“So, you’re trying to save the princess? It’s not worth it, she’s just as worthless as the rest of them” the unsub said. “I agree with you completely man” Morgan said, which caught both you and the unsub off-guard.

“Excuse me?” The unsub asked. “They never say what they mean. They always act like they’re royalty and like they’re better than men. And they are always trying to take away our masculinity” Morgan started to ramble.

Then, you understood his plan.

“Exactly” the unsub said, probably feeling understood for the first time. “Here, cut her zip ties and use these instead” the unsub said, handing Morgan a pair of handcuffs.

He grabbed them and you leaned forward. Morgan cut your zip tie and then placed the handcuffs around your wrists. You could tell that they weren’t closed all the way.

“Do you want a piece of her?” The unsub asked Morgan. “Can I?” Morgan asked, and the unsub nodded. “Tell her how worthless she is” the unsub encouraged him.

“I’m so sick and tired of your attitude. You are always acting like such a brat. You always complain when your shoes are dirty and I’m tired of you getting promotions before me. This team would be better off without you” Morgan yelled, pretending to be really angry.

“Doesn’t that feel good to get off your chest? All those pent up emotions. Use her, she’s all yours” the unsub said, giving Morgan permission to hit you. For a split second, there was a look of fear in Morgan’s eyes. You knew that normally, Morgan would never even think of laying a hand on you.

Morgan scooted closer to you, so the unsub couldn’t see his face. “I’m sorry” he mouthed quickly. “This one’s for always acting like a prissy princess” Morgan said, and then he raised his hand and slapped my face.

You knew that Morgan obviously wasn’t hitting you as hard as he could. However, he had to make it look realistic, so it did leave behind a stinging sensation on your cheek.

“This is for always complaining about how rough you’re life is” Morgan said, raising his hand and slapping you again.

Morgan’s eyes were full of sympathy. He wanted to take you into his arms and save you. He wanted to do everything in his power to protect you. Making you feel pain made his heart break into a million pieces. But, he understood that this was part of the plan to get you safely out of this house.

“Do it again” the unsub encouraged. The man made you sick, he was a vile excuse for a man. “This is for always relying on me to save you” Morgan said, raising his hand again. This time, there was a different look in his eyes. It was like he was trying to give you a clue, you realized that something was about to happen.

Instead of bringing his hand down to hit you, Morgan swung around and knocked the gun out of the unsub’s hands. You quickly pulled your hands out of the loose handcuffs.

“Get on your knees, you sick bastard” Morgan commanded, pointing the gun at the unsub. You stood up behind Morgan.

The unsub slowly got down on his knees, and you walked behind him and put the handcuffs on him. “Would you like to do the honors?” Morgan asked you. “I would love to” you replied.

You grabbed the unsub’s arms and dragged him out to the police car and put him in the backseat. The whole team rushed over towards you.

They all asked you if you were okay. “Guys, relax, I’m fine” you said, trying to calm them. Then, you saw Morgan walking over towards your group. Without saying a word, Morgan pulled you into a tight embrace. You gladly hugged him back, holding onto him.

You both held each other for a minute and finally pulled apart. “So you’re good?” Hotch asked, clarifying. “How could I not be when Morgan’s always got my back?” you asked rhetorically, giving Morgan a smile.

“You two are a strange couple” Reid said, giving us a confused glance. “Couple? What’re you talking about pretty boy?” Morgan asked Reid, confused. “Garcia told me that you two were a couple” Reid said, sounding more confused.

“They might as well be, they’re both in love with each other” Emily commented, smirking at both of you. “She’s right” Morgan said, then he leaned in and pecked your lips.

You could feel the heat rush to your cheeks as your whole face heated up. The rest of the team cheered, while you stood there stunned. “Hey Reid, now they’re a couple” Emily told him, laughing.

“Can I talk to you?” Morgan whispered in your ear. You nodded and he pulled you to the side. “I am so sorry for everything that happened in there. I didn’t mean any of what I said, and I never want to hurt you again. I absolutely hated it, if there was any other option, I would have taken it. 6.7 seconds just seemed a little long to me” Morgan told you, trying to defend his actions.

“Trust me Morgan, I completely understand. You were working based on the profile, I understand. I’m not mad at you in any way” you reassured him. “Okay good, let’s go catch up or we’re going to miss the jet” he said, interlacing your fingers.

taglist: @reniescarlett

Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist for all my imagines or for a specific character!!

Requests OPEN

[jaysevhls]

Be Careful | Christopher Herrmann

Request: could you do a herrmann imagine where the reader is his daughter who recently became 51s new candidate, and she’s a really good firefighter but gets badly hurt on a call and he’s worried and then in the hospital after she wakes up they talk and he says how proud he is of her or something soft like that?

Pairing: Christopher Herrmann x Daughter!Reader / Chicago Fire

Warnings: Injuries.

Author's note: Hi, from now requests are open again. If you have some suggestions for imagines about Halloween or something, feel free to ask❤️ All of the requests I got before will be posted in this and next week. I'm so sorry for taking this that long, but I have a hard time and school is making it only worse, I hope you understand.

Working with your dad wasn't the kind of thing you have always wanted. You were sure that life will bring you something unexpected, but you never imagined working in Chicago Fire Department at the same station with your dad. To be honest, it was awesome. You always had him by your side, you knew how his day went, you understood him like no one. Sometimes things were rough, especially when engine wasn't on the scene and he couldn't see how you're doing on the truck. From the first day he treated you like his colleague, he knew that he can't put his feelings over job, because that's the only way to get distracted. He trusted you, more than everything, especially when Casey was your capitan and always had your back.

You didn't like brining work to home, just like him, that's why your mom never pushed you to talk about hard call. This thing in your family worked pretty well.

"Hey dad, I was thinking, maybe you should go with mom tonight to the theatre or something? I can watch kids." you walked into break room after first call in the day.

"Uh, what's on your mind and how much money do you want?" he asked you.

"What? No, I just thought that you haven't been on a date for such a long time and now, when I got the night off I can stay with them." you hugged him from behind. He closed the newspaper and turned to look at you. He looked kinda confused and for sure, he didn't believe you. "Okay, if you don't want, you're staying with kids and I'm taking mom for a girl's night."

"Oh no no, that's not gonna happen, when you'll pick them?"

"I'll come home for a night. Gallo? What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing, why?"

"You'll help me with my siblings, you owe me!" you said and walked out to the bathroom.

You stripped from your clothes and got to the shower. It was one of those day when after a case you're glad that everything in your life is going that way. You were happy, that was a sure thing. Even if something was missing, you couldn't notice that, because every single day you were surrounded by people who love you like a family member.

After you finish, you changed into fresh clothes, it was worthless after all, cause in every minute you could get a signal that you need to go, but comfort first.

You went back into break room, took some coffee and sat next to Christopher.

You were helping solving him the crossword.

"Herrmann, can I talk to you for a second?" Severide asked.

"Which one?" you and your dad asked in the same time.

"Not this time Y/N." you looked at him confused. Your father made his way to Kelly and looked kinda worried.

"So, I don't know how much things Y/N has told you but I'm sure you wanna know about this." you couldn't hear much of the conversation and you're glad, because it wasn't a right thing to listen to them, even if deep down you knew that conversation was about you.

"What do you mean Kelly? Something happened?"

"No no, everything is fine I think, it's just... Y/N applied to join the squad after finishing her being a candidate." now your dad looked confused and heartbroken?

"She never brought that around me. I thought that she's feeling okay on the truck."

"Yeah me too, but you need to know that I'm going to agree on this apply. She's an amazing firefighter and it would be nice to have her in squad. Besides, women know better, she would be really great. Don't worry, I'll always have her back, just like Casey did." Severide said.

"Yeah, thanks."

You finished your coffee and just in time you hard the alarm.

Quickly, you fixed your hair and got your uniform.

"Hey, Y/N? I heard that you want to join the Squad, congratulations." Casey said.

"Yeah, but... It's not a sure thing yet. I just really want to try, I hope you don't mind. I love being on the truck, but you know."

"Don't you dare think like this kiddo. I'm so proud of you and I'll always support you. You'll be great."

"Thank you, but please, don't tell my dad yet, I need to have this conversation with him on my own."

"Sure thing." he said. You looked at all the members in the truck. They were so happy that someone like you were with them, serving to the city and country. Gallo hugged you from the right side, while Mouch from the left.

"Okay guys, that's enough, you're gonna kill me with those hugs." you laughed.

You arrived on the scene and walked out of the truck. Casey gave you an order to stay behind him and to follow his movements.

The fire was spreading quickly, you saw a young woman running from the building.

"M-y my kids are in there, please, please help us..." she managed to say after she collapsed on the ground. You help Sylvie taking her to the ambo. Casey called you right after.

"Mask up guys, we're going on the second floor, Squad, you take the basement, engine cover us." you put your mask on and followed Matt. Stella and Blake were right behind you, calling and searching for people.

"Fire department, call out!" you yelled. Casey gave you an order to turn into right side while he and Stella will go on the left.

"The smoke is too dark, I barely see anything." Gallo said.

"Yeah me too, it's gonna collapse soon, we need to hurry." you answered, when you heard the loud crash and all you felt was a pain in your whole body. You couldn't breathe. Gallo was screaming your name and calling for backup.

"Mayday, mayday, Y/N Herrmann is down, the building just collapsed, she's on the first floor but her mask fell off, we need help."

Herrmann was standing with Boden next to the truck, helping with injuried people, while he heard Blake into his radio.

He couldn't think straight, he couldn't focus on what was happening.

Boden was holding him, because he couldn't let him go in there when building wasn't stable. After few minutes which last like hours, he saw Casey, Kidd, Gallo and Cruz walking out with you, while Severide held his mask at your face. You were unconscious and your head was bleeding.

"Guys, right here!" Sylvie yelled. They brought you on the stretcher. "She's not breathing and the pulse is weak."

Casey pulled your dad to let paramedics do their job. He was crying, but couldn't manage to say anything.

"Is-. She- she is okay? What happened? Casey, you promised to look after her." he asked.

"Hey, Herrmann. She was doing her job. I ordered her and Gallo to search that place, the floor wasn't stable and it collapsed. She has a broken leg and probably her arm is dislocated. They're taking her to Med, go with them." Herrmann made his way to the ambo. The whole ride was silent, his heart broke more after your heart stopped twice on the way.

"I can't loose you princess, please." he cried.

"She's tough, she's gonna be okay." Brett hugged him.

Hours passed by and nothing was said. They didn't know what was going on with you, you were in surgery for almost 4 hours.

"Casey? I'm sorry for what I said before. It wasn't your fault, I overreacted." your father said.

"It's okay, I get it."

"Herrmann?" Dr. Halstead appeared in the hall.

"How's she? Is she okay?"

"She's out of the surgery. She had a opened break on the leg, but everything is fine now. Also, she had a pretty bad head injury, but for now, we don't know if this caused any damages. We need to wait until she'll wake up.

"Can I see her?" he asked. Hall was filled with relief and some kind of happiness. You were alive and that was the only thing that matters.

"Yes, of course."

Herrmann walked into your room. When he saw all of those tubes and machines, his heart just broke. It all caused a painful flashbacks of his memories when he was stabbed. He took your hand and kissed it.

He spent almost 6 hours next to you, because he wanted to be with you when you wake up. Your mom was there too. She brought him fresh clothes and something to eat.

"D-dad?" he immediately woke up.

"Hey honey, I'm right here." he helped you with taking piece of hair of your face.

"What happened? Where am I?" you asked.

"Rough call you would said. Listen Y/N, I'm so sorry that I wasn't there, maybe if-"

"Dad, please stop. It's okay, I'm fine, hey. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere soon."

"Mom is here too, but I told her to get some coffee for us, I'll go to tell her that you woke up, should I get the nurse too? Maybe dr. Halstead? Are you in pain?"

"Dad, sit down, now. I'm okay, really."

"Oh sweetie. I'm so glad that you're okay. When I saw you, when they took you... I was so afraid that I'm gonna loose you. But deep down I knew... I knew that you're one of the kind, my daughter, who will handle everything on her own. I knew that you're gonna make it, you're so tough. I couldn't be more proud babygirl. I'm so happy that I'm the one who you call dad." he cried. You showed him to come closer and you hugged him tightly.

"Oh my god, baby, you woke up!" now Cindy walked into your room. You all hugged and stayed like this for couple of minutes.

"Um, right. Y/N, your mom and I need to tell you something."

"Please don't make me want to almost die again, are you pregnant?" they laughed.

"No, oh god no. We wanted to tell you that we're so excited that you want to join the squad."

"What? But how? I swear I'll beat his ass."

"Severide told me yesterday. He's so happy to have you there and we're too. You need to know that no matter what, we'll always support you sweetheart. We love you."

"I love you too."

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Stupid

Tony Stark/Daughter Reader

Warnings: angst, panic attack

Algebra: C -

Chemistry: D

American History: B -

English: C

Art: A +

Literature: A -

Tears dripped down Y/N’s cheeks, smearing the ink on the stupid, stupid piece of paper in her hands.

How had this happened? She was never this...this stupid.

What would her father say? Her father, the genius, who always believed Y/N would grow to be just as smart as he is, smarter even. No pressure, right?

As Y/N reached the elevator at Stark (Avengers) tower, she stuffed her report card in her back pocket. She wouldn’t—couldn’t—show it to her father. He would think her a failure.

Failure. Stupid. Worthless. Disappointment.

Y/N felt a familiar, awful weight settle in her chest, and her hands began to tremble as her breathing all but stopped.

What if her father was angry? What if he was disappointed? What if he yelled at her, told her she was worthless, that she would never be as smart as him.

He would have the right to, it would all be true. She would never be good enough, she wasn’t smart, she could never be the next Tony Stark, she couldn’t even be average, she was too stupid, it was all too much, all too hard, she couldn’t keep up with her homework, couldn’t hold on to her grades, couldn’t understand any of her chemistry, and her father was always much too busy with more important things than to help his stupid daughter with her stupid homework.

The elevator dinged, announcing her arrival, but the detail didn’t even register in Y/N’s panicked mind. She struggled to control her breathing as she sunk down to the floor, struggled to control her whirling thoughts, but they were not to be quieted. What was happening to her?

Worthless. Stupid. Disappointment. Lazy. Idiot.

You don’t deserve the Stark name, you don’t deserve all that your father gives to you, you don’t deserve anything you worthless fool.

Stupid. Worthless. Failure.

“Mr. Stark, I believe your daughter may need assistance in the elev-“

“Tony, help!”

Somewhere in Y/N’s brain she knew that JARVIS and Steve were speaking, but she couldn’t muster up the energy to understand what they were saying. She felt herself being lifted off the floor and placed onto the couch in the living room, and slowly Steve’s voice broke through to her.

“Just hold on kiddo, your dad’s coming, it’s ok.”

And then Tony Stark’s face swam into her vision, and a sob tore loose from her throat as Y/N buried her face in his chest, her forehead bumping against his arc reactor. She felt her father’s arms wrap tightly around her, and felt his hand rubbing her back.

“It’s ok, shh, just breathe with me babygirl, breathe.”

Slowly but surely, Y/N matched the pace of her breathing with her father’s, and she felt herself begin to calm down.

“That’s it, you’re doing great Y/N/N, just breathe.”

“I’m ok,” Y/N breathed, so quiet that Tony almost didn’t hear it. He continued to hold her tightly, worry clouding his mind. What had happened to his little girl to give her a panic attack?

“What happened sweetheart?” He asked gently. He felt his daughter shift in his arms, and felt a small piece of paper being shoved into his hand.

Tony looked down to see Y/N’s report card just as he felt her begin to sob into his chest, her whole body shaking.

“I’m sorry,” the words were barely above a whisper.

Tony barely gave the report card a glance as he held his daughter tightly to his chest, running his fingers soothingly through her hair.

“Babygirl that doesn’t matter. It’s ok, it’s just a grade, you’re gonna be ok.”

“It’s not just a grade!” Y/N wailed. “It’s been like that for ages!”

It was then that Tony realized he hadn’t seen one of Y/N’s report cards in ages. Had she been hiding them?

“Sweetie why didn’t you tell me?” He whispered.

“I didn’t want you to be mad,” her voice came out as a small whimper, and Tony felt a mixture of guilt and pity tug at his heart. Why didn’t she think she could come to him with this?

“I would never get mad at you over something like this. You should’ve told me you needed help,” Tong insisted gently.

“You’re too busy with important things. I shouldn’t stop you from your important things, I should be able to understand this on my own! I shouldn’t be so—so-“ another sob tore from Y/N’s throat as she cut herself off.

“So what babygirl?” Tony asked softly, not really wanting to hear the answer.

“So stupid,” Tony’s little girl whimpered.

“Honey,” Tony shifted Y/N and held her at arms length so he could look at her. “Don’t ever say that. You’re not stupid. You just need some help, everyone needs help at something. I’ll tell you what, tonight, you and me are gonna do absolutely nothing together, we’ll eat junk food and watch movies all night, then sleep all day tomorrow, then tomorrow night you’re gonna show me what you need help with and I’m going to stay with you until you understand it all, you hear?”

“But-“

“No, no buts, nothing I have to do could ever be more important than you, and it’s time I proved that to you ok?”

Y/N slowly nodded. “O-ok.”

Tony nodded “good.” He kisses Y/N’s forehead “I love you babygirl.”

“I love you, dad.”

[xxdemitjee]

I Hate Me.

A deep sigh left the girl's mouth as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. The only feeling she had right now was sadness. Especially tonight when the girl finished work, people were being awfull and seemed to curse at her whenever they could. But this wasn't new lately she has been feeling down about herself and everything that she does. She bit her lip while she shook her head, still staring at her reflection. She thought that the feeling would wash away after she took a shower but it didn't, no it got worse. ''Why do i feel like this?'' Y/n asked herself as she let her eyes travel over her own body. Normally she could point out the things the things that she liked about herself, but lately it was like a black cloud took over everything positive. The girl avoided staring into the mirror as she dried her hair before walking to her closet. 

Her feetsteps felt heavy and so did the feeling in her chest. It was so weird, how your feelings can turn from happy to sad. Y/n didn't even know how but her mind traveled to her boys. ''Why do they even love me? I'm just a ugly, worthless girl'' She whispered under her breath. With a frown on her face she opened her closet and grabbed some clothes out of it, which happend to be a red hoodie from Hoseok and a pair black leggins. With a small shrug she closed the closet again. ''It's not like it's going to get better than that'' Y/n mumbled and rolled her eyes. ''And it's only for the rest of the day'' she dismissed.

The frown on her face deepend when she had put those clothes on and looked in the mirror that was hanging in the room. She felt so insecure in front of the mirror right now. She poked at her legs and belly with her finger. ''I need to work out'' Y/n said with a bitter chuckle, as she thought about the woman who called her a 'mean cow' in the begin of her shift. She felt her eyes burning with tears as she stared at her reflection. ''I hate me'' she stated and clenched her fists. If she could Y/n would break every mirror in the house, but she couldn't because it wouldn't change her.

Before she knew it she grabbed her phone and sent a text in the group chat with her boys. After she had sent the text she threw the phone down on her bed and threw one last glare at her reflection, before storming out the room. 

Y/n was sitting down on the couch chewing on her bottom lip, while staring at the door in anticipation. The seven boys all had a key to her appartment, so they could enter at any moment. And it stressed her out a little, because Y/n wasn't really chill with sharing her emotions. But when she heard the front door open, she knew, that she needed to open up to them. They could read her like a open book anyway. 

All seven of them greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and sat down on the couch. 

There was a silence hanging in the room, with a heavy tension. They knew something was wrong with their Y/n. ''So spill'' Seokjin said when she still didn't say anything, the seven of them all eyed her weird behavior, normally she would be ranting about the asshole costumers that where in the shop that day. But she was completely silent, not even looking at them. And at times like this Yoongi's stern behavior showed. ''Talk to us Y/n, you texted us now talk'' He demanded, Y/n knew the boy ment well but she couldn't take it as tears were threathening to spill. If she said a word right now she would break down completely. 

And that didn't go unnoticed, Jungkook who was sitting next to her grabbed her hands, encouraging her. ''Talk to us babygirl'' He egged on, trying to get her to spill the beans. ''I- I hate myself'' Y/n finally said after a minute of silence. She looked at the boys and saw how dissapointed they looked, and that made the tears spill. ''I'm so done with being me!'' She bursted out, shocking the boys. ''Guys you know what to do, i will calm her down'' Namjoon told the others, who immediately ran in different directions to collect stuff. 

Namjoon grabbed Y/n's hands and pulled her into his chest as he stood up. ''It's okay, let it all out'' He said trying to calm her down, he rubbed her back and whispered sweet little things in her ears. ''Babe, you're perfect to us to me. You are everything we could have asked for'' Namjoon said and made Y/n look up at him. ''Since when did you feel this way?'' The question came out in a stern way, but he knew how she was. You had to be because she could be really stubborn. She answered his question with a shrug. ''A few days'' She finally answered, with tears rolling down her cheeks that Namjoon wiped away immediately. 

''Please listen to me when i say, that you are worth so much, your smile and happiness everytime you see an animal, your sympathy when you see sad movies. How you clench your fists when your angry. Those are a few of the many reasons that we love you!'' Namjoon told her, and Y/n shook her head. ''You might... But i don't'' She stated as she bit her lip. ''Who was the person that inspired us for this album, because she kept remembering us that loving yourself is the key for anything?'' He questioned and Y/n looked him in the eyes. ''Me'' she mumbled, Namjoon nodded confirming it. ''Indeed it was you, you were the one who let us remember who we are. Not who everyone wants us to be'' He told her. 

This time Yoongi returned with a couple of blankets that he threw on the couch. He grabbed Y/n by the shoulders and made her sit on the couch as he crouched down in front of her. ''Listen up you cute dipshit, remember that time when i felt bad because i didn't finish a song?'' he asked, Y/n nodded with hesitation. ''You were the one to cheer me up and take me to get ice cream, the one to get me out of my room...'' Yoongi started as he saw the other boys enter the room again. ''Remember when Hoseok and Jimin got so much hate from people, who was the one that told them they're amazing the way they are? It was you!'' He continued and gave her a deep kiss when he finished talking.  

Taehyung sat down next to Y/n on the couch. ''Remember that time when i was so stressed out that i didn't eat properly? Or when Jin is frustrated with us? Or Jungkook has too much pressure on him? You are the one to comfort all of us, you are the one who makes us love ourselves'' He said as threw his arm around Y/n's waist. 

His words made her smile a litte, but she still felt confused. ''Why are you saying this?'' she asked, Jimin cleared his throat. ''Because we love you for you! To us you're perfect we love your personality and how you look. It's okay to be insecure about yourself, but don't hate yourself, you're killing us by doing that'' He said, and those words made her tear up again, out of happiness this time. ''I love you all'' she stated and kissed them all. Their words really helped her, it's felt weird to her. How can they always say just the right thing to her? 

Their evening continued with a movie night, to cheer everbody up after what had happend. Y/n was sitting in Hoseok's lap and smiled when he kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her waist. Her hand was holding Jin's tightly as he was really focused on the movie but still found time to kiss the back of her hand. She felt a sudden new weight on her lap, she looked down and saw Jungkook looking back up at her. Y/n leaned down and kissed him. ''Happy to be you?'' Jungkook asked with his famous bunny smile. 

''Couldn't be happier''

[imagines-ahs]

Affection - Fifty-Nine: Past.

Mine and @mistyyygoode‘s story!

TW: Mentions of a past suicide attempt with details, mention of alcoholism, mentions of forced sex.

"Only if you feel like you're ready," Shelby said softly, gently.

"I do." Audrey nodded, taking another deep breath. "This way you have time to run away before actually getting married to me." She teased, trying to light up the mood, although a part of her was scared her lover could run away.

"I would never," Shelby said as she continued to caress her lover's cheek. "You know I wouldn't do that right?" she asked.

"I know, baby. I'm just kidding." Audrey smiled softly. "I mean, I do have a little bit of this fear sometimes, but I always try to think about how much I love you and apply that to how you feel for me... if it makes sense?"

"It does." Shelby nodded softly. She felt a small shiver run down her skin as the cold from the room started to really get to her. "Can I grab the blanket really quick?" she asked.

"Mhm," Audrey nodded as she softly let go of her lover. "I'm getting cold, too." She chuckled, more from being nervous than anything else.

Shelby quickly got up to retrieve the blanket from the floor. Once she was back on the bed, she wrapped them both up in the blanket, so they were skin to skin with no room for either one of them to go. She wrapped her arms around her lover's waist as she looked at her with a soft smile. "Okay, I'm all yours now."

Audrey snuggled closer to Shelby with a satisfied smile on her face, her hands wrapping around her fiancé's waist as well. "Okay..." she took a deep breath, struggling to stare into blue eyes. "So... you know all about the bullying in school and how left out I was at college?" she started with. "I had barely three friends there, and one of them was Beatrix... we started dating at the beginning of my second year at college and a-at first, everything was fine until I started realizing things..."

Shelby nodded softly. Her heart was already arching for Audrey. She knew nothing about this was going to be good. "What things?" she asked, her voice remained soft and tender.

"Well," the woman took a deep breath, eyes falling down before she continued. "At first I thought it was just in my head... I knew I was depressed at this point, so I thought it could be just my depression speaking, but Beatrix wouldn't let me sit next to her in classes, or h-have lunch with her, let alone h-hold her hand or t-things like that."

Shelby's brows furrowed. That was the complete opposite of a partner/girlfriend/boyfriend of any respect. She bit her tongue to hold back her words though; she didn't want to interrupt Audrey's explanation, she didn't want to be rude or make her feel unsafe. So instead, she nodded, motioning for her to continue.

Audrey took another deep breath, the hand on Shelby's cheek stiffening, brown eyes went up to blue ones again. "Six m-months passed by until I r-realized she was a-ashamed of me... not to mention what was going on between four w-walls... I was a virgin, she took my virginity away, and a-at the first time it seemed normal, but as the time p-passed by she started f-f-forcing me to have s-sex, only m-me on her, never saying a l-loving word, never t-taking the time to a-ask how I was, to actually show some love."

Shelby bit her lip. Anger and rage started to build within her chest. And things that had happened between them, some of their encounters during sex, some of the limits they had established now made sense to her. Her heart felt like it was breaking more and more with each word, and she knew they were no were near the end of the story yet.

"It was hard." Audrey took a deep breath, eyes getting slightly teary. "Another year passed by until I f-found myself not wanting to leave the h-house... I lived at the campus back t-then, so it was easy to j-just not go to class... to make things worse, I was s-sharing a room with Beatrix, so I had n-no escape... the breaking point was w-when I did The Heart Of Gold." She bit her lip, eyes falling down once again. "I finished f-filming one day before t-trying to commit suicide... I came home f-for the shooting, and Beatrix w-would just ignore m-my calls and messages... I felt s-so worthless." A tear fell. "It w-was supposed to b-be the happiest experience of m-my life and n-no one seemed to care... not even the person I t-thought that loved me the m-most... or supposed t-to, I mean, because l-looking back now I k-know she didn't."

Shelby felt tears welling up in her eyes when she saw some in Audrey's eyes. She gently wiped her lover's tears away before they could fall. She sniffled back her emotions to stay strong for Audrey during this time. "I-I'm... I'm so sorry." She didn't know what else to say. So many thoughts were swimming through her head, but she wanted to wait until the end to say anything else.

Audrey took another deep breath as she felt her lover's gentle touch. She stared up at blue eyes once again, somehow feeling like they radiated some kind of strength. "S-so I went back to c-college after the filming finished, a-and I kind of planned everything." The actress said. "B-Beatrix had special acting classes that d-day, so I'd have t-two hours alone to... do i-it." Another tear fell, chest starting to hurt. "So, I did... I t-took some pills and I p-passed out... I hit m-my head so h-hard on the wall that our room n-neighbor came and found m-me... so she called an ambulance, and I w-w-was taken to the hospital."

Shelby had to take a deep breath to keep herself stable through the explanation of how it happened. "I-I wish... I wish I could have been there." She said softly as she continued to wipe their tears away.

"I w-wish it too... more t-than anything." Audrey smiled softly as another tear fell. The actress took another deep breath before proceeding. "I remember w-waking up and s-seeing my m-mom crying while h-hugging my sister... it was the m-morning of the n-next day. My stomach w-was hurting a l-lot... as s-soon as I o-opened my eyes, mom c-came running to g-g-give me a hug, Alice d-did too." Audrey smiled softly at the memory. "I apologized a m-million times."

Shelby bit her lip as she felt her tears getting stronger. She sniffled as she closed her eyes to try and stop her tears. "I'm... I'm so sorry..." she said again.

"It's o-okay, babygirl," Audrey said softly, wiping Shelby's tears away lovingly before proceeding. "So I asked m-mom where d-dad was... she t-told me he couldn't come, b-but later when I w-went home to be admitted to a-a special c-clinic I found o-out he just d-didn't accept to h-have a w-w-weak daughter." A sigh left her lips. "I'm p-past it n-now, we've t-talked and things a-are okay... b-but I spent almost a w-week back at the h-hospital before g-going to the clinic, o-only to find out B-Beatrix was c-cheating o-on me the w-whole time... a-a-after I got out of the c-clinic, a m-month after, I f-finally got to call h-her. S-she told me it w-was all my fault, that I w-was selfish for n-not thinking about h-her popularity, that s-she was now t-the girl with t-the... the p-problematic, crazy g-girlfriend."

Shelby's heart broke. She couldn't understand how someone would be so cruel and so mean to Audrey. She could never see John being like that either, he seemed like such a loving father now. "It's not... it's not your fault. Y-you know that right?" she asked softly.

"I k-know," Audrey nodded softly, wiping some of her tears away. "I k-know it, now... I've g-grown a lot w-with all the therapy a-and even with t-that experience." She took a deep breath. "W-well, I then t-told Beatrix that s-she didn't have to worry about i-it anymore, because I w-was no longer her g-girlfriend... after that I m-moved back home, and spent a year here g-going to therapy and a whole v-variety of things, I could then g-go back to college, b-but I didn't stay there for too long... The Heart of Gold was released, and I dropped out t-to promote it... life seemed to get back in track, f-for the first time."

Shelby smiled softly at the end. "I-I'm so glad... I really am. You deserve to be happy, gorgeous." She said softly, still softly caressing the woman's cheeks, wiping tears whenever they fell.

"I f-finally am." Audrey smiled softly, taking a deep, relieved breath. "I'm n-nowhere near to where I was... I'm just much, m-much better and I swear I w-would never even t-think about it again."

Shelby let out a breath in relief. "Okay... please promise me that if it even crosses your mind that you will talk to me? Even if I'm at work. You can call me, and I'll answer. I'll come home or to set at wherever you are... I'll do anything for you."

Audrey couldn't help but melt at her lover's words. She nodded, caressing Shelby's cheek as she did so. "I promise you, my love... I promise you. You don't have to worry about it, babygirl." She said softly.

"Okay," Shelby said with a small nod. "I love you so, so, so very much. I will never leave you, and please don't ever feel ashamed or embarrassed about anything, especially sex. When you're uncomfortable to tell me. We have a safe word, don't be afraid to use it. I want you to feel safe with me, and I want you to know that I care about your needs and limits before my own." She explained softly.

Audrey nodded as she smiled sweetly, finding herself extremely overwhelmed, but this time, in a good way. She felt her eyes getting even tearier as she stared into blue ones, thumb still caressing Shelby's cheek. "I feel safe with you... I always have, and that's why I had no hesitation on taking things always so fast." She explained. "I love you more than anything, Shelby, you've never, ever, ever made me feel bad... you've always respected me so much and this is something that I'll never be able to explain how much that it means to me... you have always been so caring, you have always shown that you love me... I just couldn't ask for anything more, I'm so incredibly lucky."

Shelby smiled at her lover's words. She was so thankful that she was able to give these feelings to Audrey, to be able to make her feel safe. She wiped her tears before place one simple, yet loving kiss on her lips. "I'm so glad that I'm able to make you feel this way. But I'm the lucky one. I feel so lucky to have someone as extraordinary and wonderful as you."

Audrey smiled softly as she kissed her lover back, soon rubbing their noses as she let out a giggle. "I love you." She whispered.

Shelby giggled softly as well. "I love you too, gorgeous, so, so much."

"I love you more." Audrey teased with a cheeky smile. "And we're both lucky then, just for the record."

"I can agree with that." Shelby smiled softly. "And I love you the most!" She said before kissing Audrey once more, again lovingly and gentle.

Audrey giggled as she shook her head, kissing her lover back just as lovingly. "Oh, and don't be mad at my dad... we've talked and cleared things up." She explained softly.

"Okay," Shelby said softly. "I can tell he's a different person now. I can't even imagine him being like that... he just doesn't seem like he type."

"Yeah... my personal theory is that he got scared." The actress said. "See who's the weak one now." She played, trying to light up the mood a little.

Shelby chuckled softly at her lover's joke. "I could see why he was scared though... but what he did wasn't right."

"I know..." Audrey sighed softly. "But sometimes we do fucked-up things... what matters is that he apologized and changed after that." The actress explained. "He only talked to me after I got out of the clinic."

"I'm just happy that things are better now," Shelby said softly as she gently ran her thumbs over her lover's cheekbones.

"Me too." Audrey smiled softly. "It used to be hell... and I have no idea of how I got the part for The Heart of Gold."

"I'm glad you did though. If you hadn't, we might have never met." Shelby said softly. "I-I can't imagine my life without you in it."

"I can't imagine mine, either... you know, sometimes I think about how I could have done things so differently a-and I... I don't really think I'd change them even if I was able to." Audrey confessed softly, hesitantly. "Because all the fucked-up things I've been through made me who I am and I... I like to be who I a-am... and I wouldn't want to risk not meeting you..."

"Me too," Shelby said softly. "I-I would go through all that hell again just to meet you in the end. It was worth it now."

"Me t-too" Audrey smiled softly, caressing her lover's cheek. "C-can I ask you something?" She asked hesitantly.

"Of course, gorgeous." Shelby said with a soft, loving smile.

"Okay... w-why... why did you a-and Matt break up?" Audrey asked, biting her lip right after.

Shelby looked down as she sighed. "It started with the fact that he cheated... and then lied about it." She thought for a moment, memories running through her mind like a movie in slow motion. "After we left R-Roanoke... we couldn't stop fighting, a-and that's when I started drinking." She explained.

Audrey bit her lip as she heard everything cautiously. "Y-you don't have to t-tell me if you're not ready, my love." The actress said softly.

"I do," Shelby said as she looked up at her lover. "You told me about your past it's only fair, and I want to tell you." She added.

"O-okay." Audrey nodded softly, never stopping caressing her lover's cheek.

"There were a few times when I... when I showed up to work drunk," Shelby said with a sigh. She knew she told Audrey she had nothing to be ashamed of when it came to herself, but for her, this was one of her more embarrassing and shameful times. "Amanda didn't say anything... I think she was too scared because I'm her boss, but Sydney did. She took me into my office and told me to go home, and sober up... and not come back until then. I didn't go back to work for almost a month."

Audrey bit her lip harder as she heard her lover's words, her heart already beginning to tighten up, chest heavy. She nodded softly, motioning for her lover to proceed.

Shelby took a deep breath before speaking. "Our apartment was a mess. Half the time I didn't care, and the other half I was too drunk to do anything, and he... he didn't do anything. Matt still worked so he was gone a lot too, and I'm pretty sure he was cheating on me then too because when he came back, we weren't-weren't having sex like we used to." She sighed as she looked away again, knowing the sex part would be uncomfortable for both of them to talk about. "You know how I am... I like sex, I like a-a lot of sex, and he knew that, but it seemed like he didn't care like he was-was getting it somewhere else."

"T-that was... that w-was after f-filming the show?" Audrey asked softly, wanting to understand the story better. "B-because I remember you w-were still with him d-during the shooting."

Shelby thought for a moment. In her head, some of the times and dates were mixed up. "It was somewhere from when we left Roanoke to probably a week or so before we started seeing each other..." she said honestly.

Audrey nodded as her eyes grew a little. She didn't know it had been so recent, and she felt incredibly bad for not knowing it before. All the questions from Shelby's mother suddenly made a lot more sense now.

Shelby bit her lip as she looked away again. "I-I already liked to drink before then... so it only got worse and worse. After moving back to the city, it was complicated because I was on Xanax and sleeping pills, and-and you really shouldn't mix those..." she said softly.

Audrey nodded softly, her eyes getting a bit teary as she took a deep breath, her thumb still caressing Shelby's cheek.

Shelby looked back to her lover with tears in her own eyes now. "Halfway through filming... I got my own apartment... so when we were together was only around you guys." She explained. "Amanda and Sydney helped me move be-because they knew what was going on... well, p-parts of it anyways."

The actress bit her lip stronger as she let her thumb wipe her lover's tears away, taking a deep breath to not lose it and break down into tears.

"We-we both agreed to wait until filming was done to say anything... about us," Shelby said. "I-I didn't really want to wait, b-but he thought it would be b-bad if everyone knew that the two main characters weren't happy." She closed her eyes to hide the amount of tears that were forming. "I-if it had be-been my way... we w-wouldn't have been together for most of it."

Audrey took another deep breath as she felt a tear falling down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away before wiping Shelby's before they could fall. "I'm s-so sorry, babygirl... i-if I had known you w-were not together..."

Shelby opened her eyes again, looking into teary, brown hues. "It-it's okay... even if you knew, we couldn't have done anything before the divorce papers started. He didn't start them until filming was finished... h-he..." she rolled her eyes at the memory. "He w-wanted to be positive that we wouldn't work it out."

"Oh, please," Audrey blurted out, biting her lip right after. "Sorry..." she said softly. "It's just... so wrong, he w-was kinda locking y-you."

"I know," Shelby sighed. "I-in the agreement with the prenup before we got married that whoever had the most money could be penalized if we cheated... that's w-why I say th-that even if you knew w-we weren't together before the divorce process started, we wouldn't h-have done anything... I have the most money out of the two of us because of the studio." She explained. "I-I think Matt knew that when we got married."

"What a fucker..." Audrey mumbled underneath her breath, sighing softly. "Can't he be penalized though?"

"He barely makes anything because he gets so little work now, and the only money he really has is from the show and he blew that all on a new car and an apartment. I put my part in the studio. I have more money in the end, so I would have been the one who would have been in trouble if anyone would have... and that would have been giving him money, which I wasn't going to do." Shelby explained in a calmer tone this time.

"It makes sense..." Audrey sighed softly. "I'm so sorry about everything... I wish I could have been there, e-even just as a friend." She said softly, caressing her lover's cheek once again.

Shelby smiled softly as she leaned into the loving touch. "It's okay... I have you now, and that's all that matters, right?"

"Yes." Audrey smiled softly, taking yet another deep breath. "Promise me you'll always tell me, as well, if you think about drinking... please."

Shelby nodded. "I promise you, baby. I will always, always tell you. I never want to go back to where I was... I never want to risk losing you."

"I'd never leave you, never, ever." Audrey smiled softly, softly placing a small kiss on her lover's lips. "C-can... can I a-ask you something else?" the actress asked hesitantly, something she was frightened to know, but she had to - And the possibility was now.

Shelby smiled at the kiss. "Of course, baby. You can ask anything." She said softly as she caressed her lover's cheek.

"O-okay..." brown eyes fell down as the actress felt her stomach flipping. "I know t-this is something w-we've never talked before, b-but I'm really insecure about it a-and I... I-I think you might b-be too... um, h-have you, um, e-ever cheated on a partner?"

Shelby softly caressed her lover's cheek, gently and lovingly still. She wanted to be honest, and she knew that it might not be exactly what Audrey wanted to hear. "No, but I will be honest to the fact that when I knew Matt was cheating on me I-I wondered what I would be like to be with someone else too... but I never did it. I couldn't. Even though he had hurt me, I couldn't hurt him... I just couldn't." She explained.

Audrey nodded as she let out a relieved breath, staring up at blue eyes once again. "I understand," she breathed out. "I felt like that, too, when I found out Beatrix had cheated... this small feeling of 'Oh I should have cheated, too.'" She explained.

Shelby was relieved that Audrey knew what she meant and how it felt. "So, you never did?" she asked softly.

"No." Audrey shook her head. "You know I'm a very passionate lover, I fall... hard for people." She smiled softly. "Although I fell harder for you than I had ever fallen."

Shelby nodded. "I know what you mean. Even though I thought about it... more than once, I never could. And thinking back on it, you know, I'm glad I didn't because I feel like it would have made things worse, and I wouldn't have seen you as someone to date... someone to love."

"Why not?" The actress' brows furrowed softly.

"I probably would have been wrapped up in him... or whoever and not even noticed that you were flirting with me that night. It's hard for me to see when people are flirting, you already know this." Shelby explained. "It's a lot harder for me to notice when I'm with someone. That's what I meant, nothing in a bad way."

"Oh..." Audrey nodded. "Okay, I understand... you would have never realized your feelings, maybe?"

"Possibly. Because that time I had alone is when I..." Shelby felt herself blushing as she looked away. "Fantasized."

"Oh?" Audrey bit her lip, cheeks getting a little red. "Is that so?"

Shelby chuckled shyly. "Yes, I told you about the one time... remember?" she asked softly.

"Mhm... I remember it very well." Audrey chuckled as she let out a smirk. "Well, I'm just glad we are together, and I wouldn't change a single thing... and, just for the record, I don't want to kiss anyone else other than you."

"I agree," Shelby said softly. "I love you so much, you know that?" she asked with a small smile.

"Hmm.... do I?" Audrey teased softly, chuckling right after. "I'm joking, I do know... do you?"

Shelby chuckled as she nodded. "Yes." She placed a small kiss on her lover's lips before wrapping her arms around her waist again. "Can we cuddle for a little while?"

"Yes, please." Audrey smiled sweetly, pulling her lover closer so she was laying on her chest. "C-can I ask just... one more thing?" she asked shyly, chuckling embarrassedly.

"Of course, babydoll." Shelby said softly."

Okay... do you s-sometimes feel like, um, kissing someone other than me?" Audrey asked hesitantly, her insecurities crowding her mind.

Shelby shook her head without having a second thought. "No. I don't even look at other people like that. I'm not interested in anyone but you. Even if we were back in college at a party, and I was dared to kiss someone else, I couldn't do it."

Audrey melted at Shelby's words, her arms subconsciously squeezing her a little closer, a big smile forming on her face. "Okay..." she answered softly, shyly.

"Do you...?" Shelby asked as she cuddled closer into her lover.

"Not at all," Audrey shook her head, one of her hands playing with blonde locks, stroking it. "You are my one and only."

Shelby smiled softly. "As you are mine, babydoll."

"I love you, honeybun." Audrey said softly, placing a kiss on top of her lover's head.

"I love you, gorgeous." Shelby smiled before placing a kiss on her lover's lips. "I'm glad we talked. I like when we talk."

Audrey leaned down to kiss her lover back, smiling right after. "Me too... it makes us get even closer."

"It does, it really does." Shelby smiled before softly kissing Audrey again. "And I'm so happy that you trust me enough to tell me what you did."

"You are the only person I've ever told the whole thing... besides my therapist." Audrey chuckled softly as she stared down at blue eyes, caressing her cheek.

"Really?" Shelby asked softly. "I don't mean that in a bad way, I'm just... surprised it's all." She added.

"Really." Audrey nodded softly. "I'm just embarrassed about it... a lot."

"You shouldn't be," Shelby said. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of." She said as she brought her hand to Audrey's cheek, caressing it gently.

"I guess..." Audrey said softly. "Thank you, my love, it means a lot to me... I mean it."

Shelby smiled softly. "You're welcome, babydoll. I love you more than anything, and I want you to know that and that you can tell me anything, good or bad."

"Me too, babygirl." Audrey smiled sweetly before leaning to kiss her lover softly. "Always feel free to share anything with me, my love."

"Okay, well..." Shelby laughed nervously. "There was this one time when I... I almost killed Matt." She said before biting her lip.

"What?!" Audrey's brows furrowed as she laughed. "Explain, please."

Shelby laughed softly. "It's funny now... to me at least, but it wasn't when it happened." She said. "One night-during a short period of time when we were civil with each other—I made dinner, and I forgot he was allergic to cinnamon... and I was drinking while we were eating, so I didn't understand what was going on, and he ended up in the hospital... he thought I did it on purpose."

"Oh, my God!" Audrey burst into laughs, covering her mouth as she did so. "That's horrible!"

Shelby chuckled as she nodded. "I know! I really didn't remember, and when we got to the hospital, he wasn't able to talk because his tongue was so swollen, and I was so... well, I was drunk."

"Oh, baby." Audrey laughed, even more, shaking her head as she did so.

"When the allergic reaction calmed down, he blamed me for it, and said that I tried to kill him." Shelby said.

"As if." Audrey rolled her eyes. "I can't stand him. It was not your fault!"

"I know, but he still thinks I tried to kill him." Shelby said softly. "He even told his lawyer this, but she didn't believe him either."

"Jesus..." Audrey mumbled as she shook her head. "Let's just... just stop thinking about those things, talk about each other, cuddle?" she offered sweetly.

Shelby smiled as she nodded. "Okay, babydoll. That works for me." She said softly before snuggling closer into her lover.

Audrey smiled brightly as she bent down, placing a sweet, passionate kiss to her lover's lips. "I... love... you," She mumbled between soft kisses.

Shelby smiled between their lips before kissing Audrey back with the same love and passion she was receiving. "I love... you... too..."

Audrey smiled sweetly before tangling their legs, even more, pulling Shelby closer.

Shelby smiled even more as she pulled away just enough to look into her lover's eyes. "I want to stay right here all day long."

"I want it, too." Audrey pouted softly. "We can't, but I suppose two more hours wouldn't hurt."

Shelby smiled as she looked up at her lover. "I think I can do with that." She said softly before resting her head on her lover's chest.

Audrey giggled softly, her hand falling to caress her lover's back. "I want kissies." The actress pouted playfully.

Shelby chuckled softly before leaning up to place a soft, loving kiss to her lover's lips. "Like this?" she teased.

Audrey smiled softly at the kiss, nodding right after, lips still brushing. "More," she whispered.

Shelby kissed her lover again, passionate this time. She moved up the bed slightly to be in a better position, almost now on top of Audrey again.

Audrey smiled between the kiss once again, hand going up to caress her lover's cheek, the other one caressing her back.

Shelby melted into the embrace. She kissed Audrey back more as one hand tangled in her and the other caressed her cheek as well.

Audrey let both hands go down to her fiancé's hips, pulling her closer, wanting the woman to straddle her, get more comfortable.

Shelby gladly straddled her lover. She never once broke the embrace, kissing her more and more, her tongue gently running over Audrey's bottom lip.

Audrey sat up a little so they were face to face, hands falling to Shelby's sides, caressing her lovingly, lips opening so her fiancé's tongue could enter her mouth.

Shelby's tongue started slowly moving along her lover's. She started exploring every part of her mouth as she caressed her cheeks still.

Audrey was melting at all the sweet touches. Her arms wrapped around Shelby's waist, so she was hugging her, pulling her even closer as her tongue danced with her lover's.

Shelby pulled away when air became a necessity. She rested her forehead on Audrey's as she stared into her eyes. "Fuck, I love you."

"I love you too... so much." Audrey said breathlessly, smiling softly as she stared at beloved blue eyes.

Shelby softly ran her thumb over her lover's cheekbone as she smiled at her. "I don't think I will ever be able to express how much you mean to me."

"I don't think I will, either... you are my world, Shelby. I really mean it." Audrey said softly, tenderly.

"As you are mine." Shelby smiled brightly before kissing her lover again.

Audrey smiled before kissing Shelby back, one of her hands going up and tangling in blonde hair, caressing it, pulling the woman closer.

Shelby caressed her lover's cheeks as her tongue asked for access again. She loved how they could enjoy the living embrace without it having to be sexual.

Audrey gladly let her lover's tongue in again, instantly swirling her own with Shelby's. She pulled her even closer, nipples now brushing.

Shelby moaned softly as she felt their nipples brushed against each other's. Subconsciously, her hips bucked as she started kissing her lover harder, passionately.

Audrey smirked softly as she let her tongue twirl more and more with Shelby's, her kisses growing harder as well, back arching a little, so their nipples were brushing more.

Shelby moaned softly as she brought one hand to her lover's hair, gently tangling her fingers in the short, blonde locks. "I love... you..."

"I... love you... too..." Audrey mumbled, her hands falling down to Shelby's ass, cupping it softly above her panties, letting out a small moan.

Shelby moaned softly as her hips bucked again. "C-can we... maybe go... again?" she asked hesitantly.

"Y-yes... yes." Audrey moaned, tugging on her lover's lower lip right after. "But first, I w-want you to k-keep grinding on me... it turns m-me on so much."

Shelby smirked before doing as she was told. "Okay... babydoll... anything you want..." she said between heated kisses.

Audrey moaned against Shelby's lips as she felt her lover's hips bucking against hers. Her hands started helping her lover, pulling her closer and closer by the ass, her lips working harsher on Shelby's. "F-fuck..."

Shelby moved slightly so her that her center was positioned over Audrey's thigh, and her own thigh was against Audrey's core. "B-better?" she asked.

Audrey moaned louder as she nodded, her hands now playing with Shelby's panties. "Y-yes," she breathed out, lips brushing. "Y-your panties a-are a mess from before... w-why don't you take them o-off?" she smirked.

Shelby nodded before slowly pulling away. She moved at an awkward angle to get her panties off and quickly threw them behind herself before resuming her previous position. As she felt her center touching Audrey's thigh, she moaned into her mouth. "F-fuck..."

Audrey bit her lip as she watched her lover, instantly kissing her back when Shelby kissed her again. "Mhm..." she moaned, tongue instantly twirling with her fiancé's, hips bucking against her lover's thigh, her own legs spreading a little more, hands cupping Shelby's ass.

Shelby pressed her body more against Audrey's, moaning as she felt their nipples brushing and centers getting closer. "Can we... scissor?"

"F-fuck... yes," Audrey moaned as she pulled apart, panting hard as she started to spread her legs more, getting in place.

Shelby bit her lip as she pulled away, getting into the same position. She moaned as she felt her center over Audrey's. "F-fuck..." she moaned as her hips started slowly moving.

Audrey moaned softly as she stared lustily into blue eyes, starting to move her hips slowly as well. "Mm... b-baby..." she bit her lip.

Shelby slowly ran her hands up her lover's sides to her breasts. She cupped them, softly squeezing them. "I-I... love you..."

Audrey whimpered as she felt the hands on her breasts, her hands squeezing Shelby's ass harsher. "I love... you so... m-much..."

Shelby started bucking her hips harder, finding a steady rhythm. She was moaning with each move.

Audrey followed Shelby's rhythm, their clits started to rub and bump against each other, causing the actress to let out a moan each time. Her hands squeezed Shelby's ass more and more. "I love... when we do... this..."

"M-me... too, baby..." Shelby said between soft moans as she bucked her hips harder. Her hands moved around Audrey's back, to her ass, pulling her closer.

At the pull, both of their clits started bumping harder, and Audrey's head bent back as she felt her wetness spreading all around Shelby's center. "O-oh..."

Shelby bit her lip hard as her back started to hard. She could feel her orgasm building up quickly. She hoped the same was happening for her lover, she wanted them to cum at the same time. "F-fuck... feels... feels good."

"It d-does..." Audrey breathed out, starting to feel her orgasm building up as well. "I'm... c-close..."

"M-me... too..." Shelby moaned. She gripped her lover's ass harder as she felt the fire within the pit of her stomach growing hotter. Her breath was getting harder as she pulled Audrey closer to her. Her hips were not bucking at a rapid, uneven pace.

Audrey moaned louder as she felt her orgasm starting to erupt, her head bent back as she started to cum, hard, hips jerking.

Shelby moaned loudly as her hips bucked hard. Her orgasm hit her hard. Her legs shook as her back arched sharply.

Audrey smirked as she watched her lover cumming, her own orgasm now starting to hit her. "F-fuck, baby..."

Shelby bit her lip as her hips bucked hard one last time before slowing down, moving sloppily. "F-fuck..." she breathed out as she finally started to calm down.

Audrey panted hard as she let a hand go up to bring her lover in for a passionate kiss, the other one caressing her cheek as her hips bucked one last time.

Shelby whimper softly into the kiss as Audrey's hips bucked into her own, reminding her of just how sensitive she was. She kissed her lover back with passion and love as she held her close.

Audrey softly let her hips go from Shelby's, whimpering inside her mouth as she did so. Gently, she guided her fiancé's hips, so she was straddling her again.

Shelby gladly straddled her lover again, softly moaning into her mouth as she felt her center over Audrey's thighs. "I love... you so... much..."

Audrey whimpered softly as she felt her lover's wet center on her thighs, lips never stopping. "I love... you so... so, so much."

Shelby's hands moved to her lover's cheeks, softly caressing them as they continued to share passion-filled kisses.

Audrey let her arms wrap around her lover's waist, pulling her closer, tongue softly asking for entrance against Shelby's lips.

Shelby let her in, moaning softly as she moved her tongue along with Audrey's in a sensual dance. Her hips bucked, and a whimper fell from her lips from the sensitivity.

Audrey whimpered softly as well, her tongue twirling along with Shelby's. "B-baby..." she whined between the kisses.

"Hm?" Shelby hummed softly as she continued to softly caress her lover's cheeks.

"I love you..." She whispered, slowly pulling away from their kiss, panting as she stared into blue eyes.

Shelby smiled as she looked down into her lover's brows hues. She rested her forehead against Audrey's as she finally caught her breath.

Audrey smiled softly, caressing her lover's cheeks, staring lovingly into blue eyes.

"That was incredible, as always." Shelby smiled softly.

"It was." Audrey smiled sweetly. "Gosh, you a—" before the actress could finish her sentence, her phone rang, causing her brows to furrow softly.

"It's probably Alice," Shelby said softly as she slowly got off of her lover.

"I guess." Audrey sighed softly as Shelby got off of her, pouting as she caressed her hips before getting off of the bed, taking her purse and then the phone, brows furrowing even more. "Unknown number..."

Shelby's brows furrowed as well. "You don't have to answer it." She said softly.

"It's from the U.S.A...." Audrey commented, hesitantly pressing to answer the call. "Hello?... what the—hey! How did you get my number...?! Stop it! Shut the f—" the actress sighed as she put the phone down.

Shelby's eyes grew wide as she looked at her lover. "Who... who was it?"

"Matt..." Audrey sighed as she walked to the bed, placing the phone on the bedside table.

"Wh-what...?" Shelby's brows went up as she looked at her lover with a confused look.

"It was Matt..." The actress mumbled as she sat down in bed, her phone lighting up and showing three missed texts from him. "He texted me, too."

"What did he—what did he say?" Shelby asked nervously.

Audrey sat down in bed, opening the messages nervously, scooting closer to Shelby as well. "The first message says, um... 'So, you are the bitch Shelby is f-fucking, good luck o-on...' fuck, I want to kill him."

Shelby shook her head as she looked down. "I'm... I'm s-so sorry." She felt horrible that he was attacking her now. "Y-you don't deserve this."

"I don't care... he's just... he's saying horrible things, Shelby!" Audrey exclaimed, her eyes getting teary with anger. "I'm not reading the whole thing... i-it's too mean."

Shelby bit her lip as she scooted closer to her lover. She wrapped her arms around her and held her close. "I'm... sorry. I-I'm s-so sorry."

"It's okay." Audrey sighed softly, letting her head rest against Shelby's shoulder. "The mean things... they are not just a-about me..."

"Let me see them," Shelby said as she held out her hand for the phone.

"No," Audrey shook her head, holding her phone close. "If you're reading them, w-we're reading together." She said softly.

"O-okay," Shelby said softly.

Audrey took a deep breath before looking back to the phone. She bit her lip, going to the messages again. "Um... 'So, you are the b-bitch Shelby is f-fucking. Good l-luck on dealing w-with... with t-this drunk c-cunt. I h-hope you two f-fuck each other n-nice and good, s-since with me s-she couldn't even m-make it... i-it hard.'" The actress sighed. "That was the first one."

Shelby bit her lip before a small sob could come out. She felt tears quickly welling up in her eyes that she wiped away.

Audrey bit her lip as she felt her lover's body jerking up at the sob. Quickly, she turned to her, cupping her cheeks as she did so. "B-baby... don't waste y-your tears with him... he doesn't deserve i-it." She whispered.

Shelby nodded as she sniffled. She motioned for Audrey to continue. She wanted to know what he said.

"I-I'm not continuing" Audrey shook her head, hands never stopping caressing Shelby's cheeks. "I don't want y-you to cry."

"I just... I don't understand why... wh-why he's d-doing this." Shelby said as she looked down.

"Because he's jealous, Shelby." Audrey said firmly, tenderly, trying to show confidence to her lover. "He doesn't accept the fact that now I have you, the perfect woman... he fucked up, and he regrets it."

Shelby took a deep breath as she nodded. "Y-you're right." She finally looked back up at Audrey, smiling softly through the tears. "Th-thank you."

"I'm just honest, baby... you don't have to thank me," Audrey said softly, soon placing a soft kiss on her lover's lips.

Shelby kissed her lover back as felt another tear roll down her cheek. She never thought she would hear from him again, let alone through Audrey. She hated what he did to her, and how horribly he made her feel.

Audrey softly wiped Shelby's tear away, the kiss never breaking. Out of a sudden, the phone rang again. "Fuck," the actress mumbled as she pulled away, anger in her eyes. She saw the same number from before calling her, and she instantly picked it up. "Stop calling me! Shelby is happy now. She doesn't want any—you fucking let me speak! Yes, we are engaged, and yes, we are getting married, so stop trying, she doesn't—yes you will! You will fucking sign the papers! What if—oh, don't you dare! What?! M-money?! Are you fucking serious?! W-what?! Don't you—" the actress sighed as she bit her lip, putting the phone away

[minniepetals]

Sorry to bother you but I just read part 9 of Its okay to fall and oh my god my heart! I can't imagine how the reader must be feeling! When you get a chance and feel up to it, can we see/read what happens next?? Does she go home? Does she go to Soobin who stands up to the guys and be like 'y'all fucking idiots'?? I'm loving this, thank you for your stories and hard work! 💜

(you just read my mind didn't you? here's part 10!)

— part 10 / more here

To say that you're heartbroken is an understatement so you decide to pack your bags and leave. Maybe you can heal then, away from the rude servants, away from the seven reasons to your smiles and tears.

The only person you can truly tell your problems to is Soobin so you told him what happened and why you're leaving. He wasn't keen on you going but no one can convince you to stay at this point. You feel too worthless, as if you've failed as a lover, as a person.

When the guys come back to an empty bedroom, they know then that it's truly over.

You're gone.

And the aching pain comes flooding down like a waterfall.

They've failed you.

A day passes by with you no where to be seen, a sign that you had packed your bags and leave, and it breaks them but they decide not to chase after you. After all, you wouldn't want them to. You don't love them anymore.

So when the reason to your break up came barging into Namjoon's office with both Hoseok and Jimin in it, they were almost ready to pull out their guns.

"Why'd you break up with her?"

Namjoon scoffs. "Ever heard of respect? You're lucky we haven't cut your head off yet."

But Soobin doesn't really care at this point. You're his good friend, a sweet noona, and he hates to see your tears especially since you haven't done anything wrong. "Y/N told me what happened that night. I thought you loved her."

"You really have no fear, do you?" Hoseok chuckles bitterly as he plays around with his gun in a threatening way.

At any other moment he'd be scared but this is about you and them and Soobin isn't going to back down until he cleared the misunderstanding. Clearly it was a misunderstanding because he knows none of you would ever break each other's hearts on purpose and you're always too self conscious to speak up.

"You know how Y/N's like, you know her more than me."

"What the hell do you want, little gardener?" Namjoon sighs. "This is our business to deal with and it's over and out. Don't come barging in here thinking you own this place."

"She's the one who fell out of love in the first place," Jimin utters so softly but Soobin catches it.

"She..what?!" He exaggerates and lets out a disbelief scoff. "Oh my god, you're idiots!"

Their eyes grows dark and the grip on their guns tightens. "What the hell did you say?"

"Is that why you broke up with her?" Still, he goes on despite knowing he's at his death door right now. "You thought she didn't loved you anymore?" He scoffs again. "She was trying to tell you something that night!"

Behind him, Seokjin kicks him off his feet to come crashing onto the floor and hold him down with a foot to his chest.

"Clearly you don't know your place," Taehyung growls.

"Clearly you don't know what the hell Y/N was trying to tell you," Soobin spits back.

Jungkook crouches beside his head as he plays with a knife. "Say her name one more time and your death will not be fast and easy, gardener," he warns.

"You know her," Soobin goes on, "Y/N's too self conscious and afraid to speak up because she knows what you're capable of if you knew the truth."

"Hm.." The grip on the knife holds tight as Jungkook begins to lower it to his skin.

"She mustered up her courage only for you to shoot it right down." Lower and lower and Soobin moves his head in fear, eyes closing shut. "She's been getting bullied behind your back!"

The knife hovers, stopping in track, and Jungkook looks at him. "What?"

"Your servants," Soobin hurries, "some of them have been calling her names and just saying cruel things to her in general. That's the whole reason why she's been so distant. She wasn't," he grunts, "she wasn't falling out of love or whatever."

"She...what?" He still can't believe it.

The foot on Soobin's chest falls weak and he takes that opportunity to scurry away with fits of coughs.

Jimin watches him steadily with brows furrowed. Cautious. "But I saw her in the garden. You and her."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about but I told her then to speak to you about everything. Y/N and I," he pats off the dirt from Seokjin's shoe, "we're just friends. I look up to her, I'd never want to take her away from you. She loves you too much. But she didn't tell you anything because she was afraid of being a burden and then when she mustered up the courage, you broke up with her."

Damn.

They keep messing up, don't they?

"Who?"

Soobin blinks. "What?"

Yoongi stomps his way over and holds him by the collar. "Who were those idiots that bullied our Y/N?" He asks in a grave voice.

"I-I don't know but I can find out."

"Good." He lets him go with a shove. "Find that out."

When Soobin comes back a day later with the names after going undercover, the boys are quick to hold a meeting with the servants and tell them everything about how useless pieces of crap every one of them were.

It was quite easy to eliminate them and make sure the rest of their lives were a living hell. After all, none of them deserved the honor of dying and escpaing the cruel life, so they decided to let them go out into the world and try to live, making it the hardest task for them to do.

Once everything was dealt with, they paused all schedules and work to do one last thing in order to fix everything.

They have to get their babygirl back.

[thirstygirlclub]

Freak - Tig x Reader (2)

(he’s actually beautiful.)

(last part. was gonna make it smutty but it just didn’t happen. sorry guys)

She walked out of the bar with the shouts of her manager ringing in her ears and her hand screaming in pain. The decision had been made; she was going home. She was going back to Charming; back to her office job, back to the rumours and back to the life of a Croweater. It’s all she had ever known since she was 18 and there was no way that she could think of her life in any other way and it was stupid of her to think she could be anything else.

Packing hadn’t taken long since she didn’t have many possessions anyway. She called a taxi to take her back to the airport and on the way cancelled all of her utilities, rang her landlord to tell him that she had to leave suddenly for family reasons and that he could have all the furniture in the apartment since you wouldn’t need it anymore. She threw the money at the driver then leapt out of the cab and made her way to buy a ticket to the next flight out to California. It was expensive but worth it and before she knew it, she was on a plane back home. 

“Hey, um- hi,” she stuttered when Tig answered the phone, “I’m- Tig, I’m home.”

“Are you serious?!” Tig asked excitedly, “Are you really here?”

“I’m at the train station in Stockton. But... yeah.”

Tig laughed happily and told her he would be waiting in Charming. For some reason, the thought of someone waiting for her made her feel less like a failure and a lot less lonely. 

Leather black and eyes of blue Sun reflecting in your eyes, like an easy rider Life makes sense when I'm with you Looking back, my past It all seems stranger than a stranger

The sun beat down on her; warming her body and soul. She felt calm for the first time in over a year only to have her heart race when she saw him. He was sat on a wall with his back to her; the reaper on the back of the black leather staring at her and smoke drifting lazily in the still Californian air. He heard her boots scuff against the concrete and stood to face her, keeping his face still even though inside he was elated to see her. 

“Hi,” she said to him shyly.

She knew that he wasn’t waiting for her to be kind or friendly; he wanted her to sleep with him because he had always told her she was his favourite. She knew exactly how he liked it and what to do to make him feel good. 

“Hey Babe, how you doin’?” Tig asked with a lazy smile.

She ran her hand through her hair and shrugged. There wasn’t really anyway to describe how she was doing at that specific moment in time because there was so many things going on in her mind. She was happy and she had missed the feeling of being home but she was also full of fear and self-doubt that came with admitting defeat and running away from the big, scary world. 

“Come on, let’s go home. Everyone is waiting to see you.”

His eyes were so blue. Bluer than she remembered they were and the sun was shining in them and she just sighed. Seeing him was so much better than just talking with him on the phone. When he leant down to take the small suitcase from her hand he kissed her forehead in a way that felt almost too gentle for how he used to be with her. Tig pulled away slowly and looked down at her shocked, wide eyes and grinned, wrinkling his nose and laughing.

“Prospect’s waiting. Let’s go.”

She nodded and walked beside him down the road, smiling when he threw his arm around her shoulders and kept her by his side as they walked towards the car.

She hated to admit how good it was to see them all again. There was a small part of her that wanted to run far away and never look back but that hadn’t worked out so well the last time. Tig sat by her side as she chatted and joked with the guys, with his arm over the back of her chair and his knee resting against hers. It made her feel better about being home.

“So, you gonna get back into your old ways?” Jax asked with a wink.

Her hesitation was long and tense. She didn’t want to be a Croweater anymore but there was nothing else she knew how to do.

“Let the lass settle back first,” Chibs laughed, pushing Jax’s shoulder.

Tig rubbed her upper arm comfortingly; she had told him she didn’t want to be a croweater anymore and he had listened to her crying about how worthless she felt when she was living that life. Tig had sympathised with her when she said that she didn’t know what what she was doing with her life anymore.

“You coming to the party tonight? We’ve got loads of people coming,” Opie asked her.

“Sure, yeah. Why not? I’m sure I can find some party clothes from somewhere.”

“Just don’t wear any,” Jax laughed, “I’m sure no one is gonna mind.”

She shifted uncomfortably but laughed along with them; playing the charming, sexy croweater that she had been for years but Tig could see through it all. He could see how sad she was deep down.

We could slow dance to rock music Kiss while we do it Talk 'til we both turn blue

The party was in full swing. She had used the little bit of money she had left to buy a sexy party dress and a pair of high heels. She hadn’t felt sexy in a very long time and, though she looked slightly uncomfortable, she knew she looked good.

Tig stayed by her side all night; ignoring any croweaters that might come over to talk to him because he only had eyes for her. He had missed seeing her over the past year and he had hated that she was so far away from him but when she called him up and spoke to him about her day and what she was feeling it made him feel closer. She spoke to people and laughed and it was like she had never left. He stood with his arm around her shoulders, hand drawing soft patterns on her upper arm.

“You ok Babe?” Tig asked her when the people talking to her had left.

“Yeah, yeah, just... tired you know? Not done this in a while,” She said to him, looking up and smiling sleepily.

Tig smiled back, slipping his arm down her back to take her by the waist as the jukebox started playing some random song. He lifted her arms over his shoulders and started gently swaying her from side to side in a slow dance kind of way. She smiled again and moved along with him in the middle of the floor while people danced in a slightly more sexual way around them. Croweaters were grinding on other members and the hangarounds leered around drunk but Tig danced with the prettiest girl in the room. She leaned forwards and rested her cheek on his shoulder while he let go with one hand to sweep the hair away from her face to see that she was already looking up at him.

“I missed you Tig,” she said softly.

Tig smiled and tilted her head up just slightly higher so he could press his lips against hers. He sighed, cupped her face with his hand and stroked his thumb along her cheek bone. They still swayed back and forth until the kiss started heating up with her hands winding into the hair at the nape of his neck and pulling his face closer and pressing her chest up against his. Tig growled as he tightened his grip on her waist while a few people wolf-whistled around them.

For a second, as Tig pulled away to kiss down her neck, she reconsidered what she was doing and thought about not wanting this life anymore. But then Tig expertly found that spot on her neck that made her knees weak, her heart race and the bottom of her stomach turn in knots. She moaned softly and let her head drop backwards into Tig’s  waiting hand. He wound his hand into her hair; keeping her head back in that position so that he could attack her throat with more and more kisses and gentle bites.

The world around her had dropped away. There was nothing else that existed but Tig’s touch and his kisses. In a lust filled haze, Tig pulled away to look at her face and smirked. He pulled her back towards the dorms where she had been with him so many times before.

They fell through the door, already pulling at each others clothing before they had even reached it. The other people in the party had watched on in mild amusement but unfazed by them all but having sex in the bar.

She pushed him back to sit on the bed before pushing the leather from his shoulders and rubbing down his neck and the collar of his shirt. While she was doing this, Tigs hands were running up her thighs. He wanted to tease himself by not revealing her body right away; she looked so good in that dress, but he got impatient with himself. He lifted the hem of her dress up over her hips and grabbed onto her ass firmly as his head rested on her chest above her heart just listening to it racing.

“Tig,” she whispered, “please.”

He knew what she wanted. He knew exactly what she needed in the same way she knew what he needed.

Tig stood up and, quick as a flash, turned so they switched places. He threw her back on the bed so that her back his the blankets. She ran her hands through her hair with a sigh as his fingers traced patterns of electricity along the skin of her stomach and down her legs. She writhed under his touch, moaning softly as he ran them back up; pushing the dress further up her body and she ripped it off of her in frustration because she just wanted him to touch her. Tig smiled when he saw her eyes pleading with him, begging him to give her the release that she craved.

“Be patient, babygirl,” he cooed and kneeled above her.

The thigh between her legs gave her some relief to the ache that was starting to build the longer he kissed her lips and ran his hands along her chest. She fought to unbutton his shirt and unbuckle his belt but he pulled his hands away from the now exposed skin of her breasts to pin her hand up above her head. She whined in frustration and ground herself more against his thigh as his lips muffled the sounds coming from her mouth.

“Patient,” he whispered to her, “I want to enjoy this, you understand?”

She nodded silently. She loved the way he was with her; so caring and gentle but also commanding and forceful. He always whispered such kind things about how sexy she was and how good she was for him. Tig would tell her she was the girl for him. He would tell her that he would be the guy to take her away from the life she hated so much and she would believe him every time.

“I missed you babygirl. I missed you so much. No one is as good as you; no one does it like you do.”

And she fell for it, hook line and sinker. She fought against his grip and this time he let her free. He craved her touch as much as she craved his and when her hands cupped his face he faltered because that one action just felt so intimate. It was more intimate than how they used to be. As much as she wanted him to just have his way with her and fuck her until she turned to jelly and a moaning, whimpering mess like he used too but then, at the same time, she just wanted someone to be with her.

“Tig,” she sighed softly and stroked his face gently, “just be here. Please Tiggy.”

Tig’s eyes softened when he looked away from her beautiful body up to her even more beautiful face. She looked sad and it made him think about all the times that she had called him crying because she felt so lonely when she was away. He touched her hair before running his thumb across her bottom lip.

“Just... be here.”

“I’m always gonna be here,” Tig whispered, “you know that.”

She sighed and pushed him away from her then sitting up to pull her knees to her chest. Tig was confused; she had never pushed him off of her before.

“Babe?”

She looked at him and she just looked... lost. She looked so lost and small sat in the middle of the bed looking at him with big scared eyes and he felt bad.

“You aren’t though, are you Tiggy?” She asked him shakily, “You always say that. You always say that you are going to be here for me, that you’re gonna take me away but-”

Tig scrambled up the bed so he was sat beside her and wrapped her up in his arms with her head resting in the crook of his neck before she could let any tears escape from her eyes. She rested her hand on his chest, gripping his shirt in her hands and trying to hold him closer; desperately trying to get the comfort and warmth she needed. Tig wasn’t even angry they weren’t fucking because, honestly, her needs were greater than his right now.

“I am going to be here. Let me prove it,” Tig whispered to her, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head tenderly.

“How?”

“I don’t know Babe, just let me try.”

She raised her head to look at him and nodded slowly. She didn’t believe him, not at all, but she so desperately wanted to. Tig smiled down at her, blue eyes looking deeply into hers and shining with happiness that he finally had her back. He knew this time would be the time that she would finally be his and he wouldn’t have to share her with the rest of the guys anymore.