#baby i'm bored was my original idea. but i did some Thinking and now i don't know

[happylandfill23]

ok my earlier statement about needing a plain t-shirt and transfer paper and a printer that doesn't suck is even more important now. just designed a shirt :o

[cherrynflowergarden]

disgusting(ly in love) || matt sturniolo

an; hiiii my loves how are y'all?? someone please give me some ideas for this i wanna make one for chris too:( this was originally supposed to be for 10 mins but i ran out of ideas and ended up making it 8 mins THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 400 FOLLOWERS I LOVE YOU ALL<33

summary; a youtube compilation of matt and yn being in love for 8 mins.

tagged; @t1llysblogs

matt was bored. and on youtube. having stumbled upon a video titled "MATT AND YN BEING DISGUSTING(LY IN LOVE)!!!??? tw happy couple (ew)" he decided he had nothing better to do than watch this.

clip one; sleeping beauties

the clip started with nick going down the stairs and screaming for matt. what he didn't know was yn, matt's girlfriend had stayed over.

expecting matt to be awake, he pushed the door open with his vlog camera on.

there laid matt and yn, all cuddled up on the bed. the blanket covered their tangled legs yet the way matt held his girl against his chest was enough to make everyone jealous of the couple. near them mr wrinkleton, matt's pug plushie and ms bubbles, yn's rabbit plushie cuddled too, almost making it look just like the couple in plushie forms.

a small laugh left nick, as he zoomed the camera into their faces.

clip two; twitch stream

matt was streaming on twitch with his brothers while his girlfriend went out on lunch with her friends.

coming back home, yn did not expect to hear shouts from each brother's room. assuming they were only playing video games with each other, she yelled "honeyyyyyy i'm homeeeeee" right as she entered in matt's room. not giving him any time to answer the girl skipped her way to her boyfriend and sat on his lap; all excited to tell him about the latest gossip session she had with her girls.

but that could wait for a while.

he looked so beautiful that she couldn't help but wrap her arms around his neck, giving a sweet kiss on his lips. pulling away she kissed his cheeks and mumbled "god you're so cute".

giggling softly, the boy pulled her face up and said "thank you baby" she was about to say something when chris screamed "OH MY VIRGIN EYES". laughing at the way her eyes got wide, matt explained "we're streaming baby"

clip three; birthday gift

sometimes yn vloged. since the triplets' birthday was coming soon, she decided to vlog the entire process of shopping for the brothers.

twelve minutes into the video, she was all set and ready with meaningful gifts for each brother. once she put all the gifts in separate bags for each brother, she smiled at the camera. "finally. it was such a tiring day. now only one thing is left to do. y'all remember the paints i brought? well we're doing a fun little craft." taking out the red and pink paints, she went to grab a plain black tshirt.

cutting a heart stencil out of a paper, she stuck the paper to the tshirt's back. applying the fabric paint on her lips she started kissing the cloth between the cutout paper heart. applying different shades of pink and red, she filled kisses in the shape of a heart. laughing at her now smudged 'lipstick' she showed the camera her now ready gift.

"gonna let it dry now. i think i will maybe do something in the front also. not sure. will keep you guys updated!!"

safe to say, matt loved his gift so much that he demanded another kiss tshirt so that he could wear her kisses every day.

clip four; beach

this was a short clip from the hawaii vlog. the triplets, yn, maddie and nate where walking to the beach near hotel. well not all of them were walking through.

yn decided she was too tired to walk today and matt being the absolute angel he is, let her to hop on his back as he carried the girl to the beach.

maddie had vlogged matt carrying his girl on his back, humming to whatever she had to say. the camera captured matt listening carefully to his girlfriend as she spoke animatedly about penguins. the last thing the camera captured was yn repeatedly kissing the boy's cheek as he smiled before chris pushed the couple claiming "it was sick to watch people in love"

clip five; beach again

this was a clip from the same vlog as the last. matt and yn were seen enjoying in the water. splashing water against eachother their joyous laughs could be heard.

suddenly matt lifted the girl up, enjoying her screams of fear. dropping her a little, matt laughed harder as his girl tightened her hold on his neck. "matt i swear to god if you throw me in the water" laughing at her empty threats, matt dropped her down a little.

"MATTEW STURNIOLO"

"but baby i love you" he said as he completely dropped her down.

clip six; deaf, mute and blind challenge

yn sometimes participated in the triplets' videos. right now she was a part of the deaf mute and blind challenge. nick and chris were deaf, matt was mute and she was blind.

it was tough to be blind when she was only one who could actually cook something but nothing goes according to her wish, right?

which brings us to this moment. yn, desperately trying to find the bowl which contained the pancake mixture. looking at his struggling girlfriend, matt came behind her and pulled the bowl towards them. putting the whisk in her hand, he grabbed her from behind and helped her whisk the ingredients together. mumbling a small thank you the girl was finally relieved as the process was almost over.

all while nick and chris danced and screamed to doja cat.

clip seven; grwm

yn was filming a get ready with me to go to a date. while she was putting the make up on, her boyfriend entered the room. saying a quick hi to him she turned back to explain her makeup process to her followers.

"—oh y'all need to try this mascara. it's sooooo good. i literally cried—" hugging the girl matt cut off her rant. he squeezed the girl in his arms as she turned around to place a kiss on his cheek. laughing at the bright red stain her lipstick left on his cheeks she tried to grab a tissue to wipe it off. protesting against it, the boy pulled her closer to him.

clip eight; dancing in the snow

the clip was from a random vlog yn posted. it started off with yn putting her vlog camera on the car's bonet and running towards matt. the two, fully covered in wools from head to toe danced in the snow without any music.

matt twirled his girl, a small laugh leaving him as the girl lost balance and collided with him, pushing the two to the ground.

it may seem silly to others, dancing without any music or laughing like madmen in the snow but to them this was the best moment of their life.

as the video ended, matt pouted at the screen. he now missed his girlfriend. he decided to facetime his girl not knowing chris was right behind him and he recorded matt smiling and blushing at moments with his girlfriend. probably this would end up in another compilation of matt and yn being in love.

[darlingbabyboo]

I've been thinking for a while about a particular one shot request and I read it last night on another fandom, so now I kinda wanna see it with TR.

So here it is : How would some of the guys react to us doodling on their hand during some boring class? (Mikey, Draken, Takemichi, Mitsuya, Haitani brothers and the Kawata twins)

Sorry if it's too much! It doesn't have to be anything big, just a small reaction would be more than perfect, since I love your writing so much. 🥹

Baby, What Are You Doing...

Summary: the guys react to you doodling on their arms

Notes: some small blurbs about the guys. These vary in length and I was lowkey running out of ideas while I was writing but I tried my best to stay original! Also, not edited bcs I don't got time for that, you see a mistake, no you didn't <333

Mikey is kinda out there so he probably wouldn't even notice you were writing on his hand, but when he does he eats that shit up. He's lazy so he doesn't like going to get tats but he loves some ink. He will praise you and start requesting things like you're a professional artist. 'Please babe, I want a dorayaki on my forearm.' You bite your lip to hide your blossoming smile, 'you know I'm not a professional artist, right?' Your boyfriend shrugs and smacks a kiss to your cheek, 'you are to me babe!'

Draken notices right away what you're doing and is probably a bit confused at first. Like, do you want him to get another tattoo??? He'll do it hun, just ask. You two are relaxing in his bed, just enjoying each other's presence. He's surprised when you pull out a Sharpie and start doodling your name on his arm. 'Honey, what're you doing?' You give a sheepish grin, 'sorry, is it a problem.' He looks at the doodle, and you start to relax when you spot no disgust in his eyes. 'No problem hun,' he turns to you, 'think I should get this my next visit?' You squeal and wrap your arms around his neck as he looks at the doodle in wonder, more love sprouting in his heart.

Takemichi is a loser (affectionate) and he would never get a tattoo because he can't stand that pain, so he will take take that doodle and he will hold it with pride. 'Sweetie, I love it so much!' He wraps his arms around your waist and you can feel his smile against your stomach. You giggle at his wonder at some shitty stick figures along his arms. 'It's really no big deal' You say, running your hands through his hair, 'you don't need to be so happy.' He shakes his head, 'it is a big deal,' He insists, 'I've never seen anything better!'

Mitsuya my love, my heart, my will to live. He will be gassing up so much that you'll probably start believing that you're the best artist in the world. He's just such a supportive cutie pie <3 'Darling, this is one of the greatest things I've ever seen,' You laugh at the amazement in his eyes as you scribble your name in mock script on his arms. It's barley legible, but Takashi doesn't seem to care, 'you sure about that?' The smile doesn't drop from his face as he looks at you with hearts in his eyes, 'I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.'

I'm sorry but Smiley is probably the biggest asshole when he catches you doing this. He loves it, I promise, but he's a jerk 100% of the time, it's hard for him to turn it off. He raises an eyebrow when he sees you uncap your sharpie and start to draw something on his hand. 'What the fuck is that supposed to be?' He mutters. You laugh awkwardly at his harsh tone and drop your Sharpie, 'sorry, I just saw some cute videos about people putting their initials on their boyfriends wrists and I thought-it's stupid sorry-I don't know why I did that.' You duck your head down, burying your face into his chest, feeling that your body's on fire. Smiley looks at the half-finished doodle on his wrist. 'Don't stop baby, shit's pretty cute.' He presses a kiss to the crown of your head, 'I might get it tatted up.'

Angry is so flustered when he sees you doing this and he loves it so much okay. He feels like wearing it is a testament of how strong your love is. He will ask you (nervously) to do it every day because he doesn't want it to fade. 'Oh my gosh! Souya, you scared me, what're you doing there?' He stands awkwardly in the corner of your room, playing with the ends of his sleeves. 'Sorry... I didn't want to scare you... I just...' He pulls up his sleeve and he sees the fading bunny on his arm. 'I don't wanna bother you, I just-' 'Don't worry baby, I get it.' You cut him off, cupping his cheek and placing a kiss on his cheek. You pull him towards the bed and tell him to wait, 'I just need to get my Sharpies!'

Ran won't notice I'm sorry. He sleeps most of the day and he already has so much ink that some doodles won't pop out to him too much. It's only until he notices you doodling on a piece of paper one day and compares it to what's all over his arms that he starts tweakin'. 'Angel have you been inkin' me up?' He raises an eyebrow at you, confused. You hide your smile, 'of course not, I have no idea what you're talking about.' He narrows his eyes, '...okay.' Not completely believing you, but too sleepy to question things. 'Wanna take a nap?' You feel the Sharpie in your pocket and bite the inside of your cheeks, 'I'd love to!'

Rindou will eat that shit up, oh my gosh he loves it so much. He's like the extreme version of Angry and Mikey. He wants it obvious, and he wants it bold. 'C'mon princess, your name on my collarbone, I need it.' You raise an eyebrow as you straddle him, 'in red though, that's a bit... much.' He shakes his head, 'no, no, it'll be perfect.' You shake your head in exasperation, your boyfriend is a big dummy, but he loves you with every part of himself.

[quitealotofsodapop]

I just had a thought- Spicynoodles in the MKEgged AU would probably want to wait for a bit before giving Haoyu a bio sibling, both because of the initial fear that his pregnancy gave them and because Xiaotian's body needs time to heal because Stone Monkeys aren't really built for multiple pregnancies.

But that doesn't mean they can't adopt!

Now I'm imagining my idea ages ago of Spicynoodles kiddos, but a few are adopted. I did conceptualize them before I thought of Stone Eggs

First set of babus were; Xuancao & Yingsu [#1 & #2], Zishan, Shuixian & Chuju [#3, #4 & #5]. Origin Post.

Then came "Iron Fan drawn from memory" Tiemian [#6]. Origin Post.

Then "You sure Tang didn't just mitosis?" Yinghuo [#7]. Origin post.

And then the "Rambutan babies" Muxi & Mudan [#8 & #9]. Origin Post.

+some unspecified future triplets, and the occasional inclusion of bud's @nem0lux3 oc Hua Jiao!

I can now imagine with Haoyu's creation being unusual + his birth not ideal - MK and Red Son would be more open to adoption than creating a fresh Egg.

MK is hanging out with Nezha - tagging along for the Lotus Prince's regular god-duties of blessing newborns and kids on their birthdays; only for them to encounter an abandoned baby.

Haoyu has been asking for a baby sibling so...

(*MK approaches his and Red's shared home in the city, nervously holding the tiny stray baby in a sling. The baby has reddish-auburn hair, and dark skin that reminds him of his spouse - little vitiligo-like stripes mark her skin. MK breathes deep to psyche himself up before entering.*) MK, walking in: "Heyyy Red, don't be mad, buuuut when I was out with Nezha we-" (*MK stops suddenly at the sight in the living room. Red Son looks a mix of flustered, horrified and hopeful, as he rocks a baby demon in a car seat.*) Red Son & MK: "..." MK: "How about you go first?" Red Son: "Thank you. I was visiting my father's parents in Youdu, and when I brought up the possibility of us adopting a child, they mentioned that the Underworld has a pretty large population of unclaimed young souls so..." (*Red Son guestures to the baby in the car seat; it's a little girl with dark brown hair and skin tone similar to MK. Seems to be mixed human-feline demon.*) MK, realising: "Aw! You thought she looked like me and couldn't even wait to ask?" Red Son, adoring: "Yes! I met with Kṣitigarbha, and they brought me to the banks of the River by Naihe Bridge, and this little angel just... floated to the shore." (*Red Son gently kisses the baby's head*) Red Son: "They said that it's how little ones... enter the Underworld before they have the chance to be blessed. Their souls come to shore when they find someone to claim them." MK, leaning down to meet the baby: "Ohhh, a little floater baby. Hi!" Baby #1: (*barely old enough to smile. makes curious burbling sounds at MK and the other baby in his arms. Her hands have tiny claws, betraying her mixed demon heritage.*) Red Son, fixing on MK's baby: "What's the story with your little one?" MK: "Well now my story seems boring by comparison! Nezha has been helping train my astral projection powers, and he asked me to come along with him in spirit while he did his baby blessings. All was okay - I saw a lot of 100 day parties. But then Nezha got this look on his face, and we like swooped down to this riverbank where-" Baby in MK's arms: (*angry kitten-like sound*) MK, soothing her: "Yeah, baby, I'm telling them... She was all alone and... they tied her up in a bag. A bag, Red!" (*becoming distressed*) "Nezha was only able to sense her cus she just turned a month old and didn't have her Man Yue blessing. If we hadn't found her then-" Red Son, calming him: "Do not think about the buts, sunflower. She's with us now." MK, tear of relief: "Heh. Butts." Red Son, small laugh: "Puerile as ever... have you taken her to a doctor?" MK: "Even better! Your other grandma saw us after me and Nezha had her checked out by Chen Jiggu - you know the paediatric goddess? When I mentioned Haoyu wanted a sibling well... you know Xiwangmu." Red Son: "She shriek-roared, burst into tears, and started hugging you and the baby?" MK: "Yup. I could barely get a word out. She's already started calling her sūnnǚ and demands we organise a proper Man Yue party for her." Red Son: "I hope she feels the same for the stray I acquired."

After tending to both babies, the pair notice that they have eerily similar features to one another... as if they were twins or close relatives. They try not to dwell too much on the possible reasons.

Within a few hours, news of babies Xuancao (named for a flower of remembrance; Poppy) & Yingsu (their little Tiger-Lily who's stripes have only just developed) gets out.

Haoyu arrives home after spending the day with Granddadsy and Gonggong Tang to see a pair of baby sisters in his old crib. He's overjoyed and accidentally wakes them in his delighted hooting (much to MK and Red's dismay).

Pigsy and Tang had been there to drop Haoyu off, and they quickly recognise the little cries that followed the hooting. The poor pig man nearly has a heart attack XD

Pigsy, pointing at the baby girls: "Since when!?" MK, holding one twin: "Haha - would you believe less than a few hours ago?" Tang, joking: "Wow. You two worked fast." Red Son, holding the other twin: "They were not made in that manner!" Pigsy & Tang: "Huh?" Haoyu, excitedly: "Oh! I know! Lǎolao says babies float on the Underworld's river, and they get out when they meet their parents!" Tang: "Well, it's not exactly-" Red Son: "He's actually right in this case." Tang: "EH!?" MK, gesturing to the respective twin: "Underworld freebie. Above-world freebie!" Haoyu, smiling smugly: "Told you, Gonggong!!" Pigsy & Tang: (*both thinking hard*) Pigsy, shrugging: "Eh. I literally picked MK off the street. Finding one or two on the river ain't that odd. Now - let me meet my granddaughters." Both Babies: (*excitedly reach out tiny hands to inspect their grandadsy's face*)

MK and Red Son's phones are quickly blowing up with calls and messages asking "WTF!? Since when you two were pregnant?!" Wukong in particular calls worried out of his mind, asking if MK is ok and getting medical attention. Seems that a wire got crossed with Xiwangmu bragging about her new grandcub to who anyone who'd listen. XD

The bull grandparents, all three great-grandparents, and the extended Monkie Kids gang, happily accept the twin girls into their lives once the Spicynoodles couple finally manages to explain what happened.

Macaque: "You ordered one and got two. A great deal, in my opinion." MK, teasingly: "You're just saying that cus you managed to have twins too." Wukong, holding Rumble & Savage: "It's a fantastic deal either way!"

DBK and PIF in particular are overjoyed. They understand that a biological grandcalf is a huge risk to ask of the couple - so they happily accept the baby girls as if they were blood related anyway. PIF can finally spoil her girls with all the little dresses and accessories they could ever want. And DBK has a pair of tiny girls who have him wrapped around their little clawed fingers.

Any future spicynoodles babies likely have similar origin stories. At least one is a biologically-conceived child, though it's hard to tell when're all together and acting like they've always been together.

The whole family will fight whoever claims they aren't "real" children to them.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Hi Wendy! Hand her over II😱😱😱

I see Omi as a very loving & doting husband. So i think Mikey will probably say some shit like you're too old to satisfy your wife (let's say his wife is younger than him) -spoiler that's not true

Or i see Omi or Koko to make a wrong desicion that was possibility cause Bonten some trouble. They managed to handle it, so Mikey probably demand to sleep with wife as a punishment.

Mochi - maybe his wife didn't know he was part of Bonten or Mikey just thought that his wife is too pretty for someone like him,so decided to feed his ego that not only Mochi can sleep with that gorgeous girl.

Or another idea, idk who exactly, but like drunk Bonten played a poker and the looser should give Mikey one wish (like they didn't know what he will ask for)

Anyway, can't wait for this work, it's amazing

THANK YOU OH MY GOD

THANK YOU FOR THESE WONDERFUL AND AMAZING IDEAS

(Original requestor was @galactict3a so I'm adding them in this request!)

Hand Her Over II: Hajime Kokonoi/Takeomi Akashi/ Kanji Mochizuki x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.4k

tw: nsfw, dark content (gun themes, assault) Be forewarned all who read!

masterlist

Hand Her Over Megapost

It all starts with one little request. One small, simple question.

Takeomi Akashi

Takeomi's cigarette bobs in his mouth before he exhales, pulling the cheap tobacco and paper filter away from his face. Mikey is staring at him as if he'd asked Takeomi to borrow his right shoe, which - now that he thinks about it - he'd be hesitant to give him that, too.

"Y/n is not really keen on things like that," Takeomi mutters, placing his cigarette in the ashtray carefully. He stubs it out and then looks back up at Manjiro's empty gaze. "She's only ever been with me, so I'm going to have to decline on her behalf."

The look Mikey gives him is bored, but he persists. "She hasn't been with a younger man?" Takeomi frowns. "She's stuck with an old man for a lover. Shouldn't we see who the better one is?" Pride is something Takeomi tossed away long ago, but he feels it creeping back up at those words. "If I win this game," Manjiro whispers, placing a card in the burn pile. He doesn't even need to continue.

"No," Takeomi mutters back. "You won't. And she won't."

Takeomi thought he played a good game. He thought he would win. He really did.

"Baby," he whispers, scrubbing his coarse thumbs over your cheeks. "It's okay."

"Omi," you whimper, your glossy lips pursed into a pout. "I don't want to."

"I know," he replies, looking over your head at the aloof boss standing just off center. "But it's just one night." Even as the words come out, Takeomi can't believe he's saying something so heinous. Why would he allow his wife to be claimed by such a careless brat?

You look back at Mikey, and your entire body shivers. Mikey isn't really focused on you; he's more interested in his dorayaki. But even so...

"He's like a kid," you breathe, and tears come to your eyes. You don't get a chance to scrub them away before Takeomi is pressing you into his chest and letting you smear your makeup all over his shirt.

"Fuck this," he mutters. "Mikey, the deal's off. She doesn't want to." Manjiro looks up and frowns. He swallows before addressing Takeomi with that flat voice he likes to use when he tries to intimidate people.

"You'll give her to me or suffer the consequences." Takeomi moves you behind him protectively and proudly proclaims,

"Fuck you. You're not even half of what Shinichiro was if you think you can throw your weight around like this."

Something in Mikey changes, and Takeomi sees the switch flip. He has no time to move. Before you can stoop to help your husband, he's crouched over, the swift kick to the gut rendering him useless. He moans in pain, but Mikey's not done.

Takeomi isn't sure when the beating began or ended. All he knows is that he's in a lot of pain on the penthouse floor and at some point, he blacked out.

When he comes to though, you're bent over the couch, and Mikey has a fistful of hair in one hand. In the other, he's holding a gun to your head and huffing something Takeomi can't make out.

"...look at him..." Mikey mutters, his fingers tightening in your hair. "Look at how weak he is. Do you want a man like that? Hm?"

Takeomi's whole body is on fire, and he can barely get up, but when he hears your reply, he's rendered absolutely useless. You stare at him with tears collecting on your lashes and running down your bruised face and whimper,

"No, no."

Hajime Kokonoi

Kokonoi laughs at Manjiro, then leans back in his seat leisurely. "I don't have a wife." Mikey stares back at him with a look that says he doesn't believe him, but Koko steeples his fingers and shrugs. "Tough luck."

"No wife," Mikey replies coldly. "Not even..."

"Don't." Kokonoi snaps, squinting his eyes. "Don't you dare mention him."

"I wasn't." The him they're referring to isn't in the room - he's not even in the same city currently - and Mikey sits down in the chair across from Koko's desk.

"Your... beard." It takes a minute for Kokonoi to get it, but when he does, he leans forward.

"She's not going to agree to be your plaything."

"Why? Is she too busy with Inu--" Kokonoi gets up and reaches across the desk, grabbing Mikey's shirt roughly.

"Listen, you slimy fuck, leave them out of this." Mikey glances up at Koko's reddened face and smirks, catching on to the plot a little quicker than he had anticipated. Koko clears his throat quickly and lets Mikey's shirt go, regaining his composure with a slow brush of his fingers over his white hair. Koko's thin fingers work to straighten his shirt, and then he stands up, exhaling sharply.

"If that's all you came in here to ask for, then you're not going to get it. Have a good evening, Manjiro."

Mikey gives him a lingering stare that seems to drag on for ages, but he finally gets up and leaves, shutting the office door behind him. Kokonoi stands at his desk for a brief moment to let the man fully disappear, then he scrambles for the phone in his desk drawer.

With shaking fingers, he dials the first number he knows by heart, and when he hears the voice that answers, a sigh of relief washes over him.

"You and y/n need to get out of the house... don't ask questions, Inupi. Just go. You know where the safe house is." Kokonoi hangs up, snapping the phone closed, and he gathers a couple of necessary items from his desk before heading toward the door.

He doesn't have long, but if all went to plan, he wouldn't need time. He'd just need his money, the passports, and a bit of luck.

Kanji Mochizuki

"You haven't told her, have you?" The muffled shouts echo in the large room, coming from both you and your husband. The orchestrator of the events stands before you, examining your face with a look in his eye that's unmistakable.

You'd seen it many times before - the look of hunger and lust - thanks to your short career as a runway model. Short, because you married Mochi, not because you weren't beautiful. Mochi never looked at you with the unbridled need to dominate you, nor did he have the capacity to bend you to his will.

But it seems he worked for people who did.

"Mochi," the man murmurs, looking away from you for a brief second. "You should have told her what happens to pretty girls who snoop around."

Mochi strains to scream past the duct tape over his mouth, but it's futile. Just as futile as tugging on the ropes that have you bound. A cloth gag is in your mouth, and any person with two brain cells could decipher why.

"Answer me this," the dead-eyed man states, stooping down to look at you. "Do you know what Bonten is?"

You do, but you shake your head 'no,' as a tear slides down your face.

"No?" The man blinks and trails a finger down your cheek, following its path with his lips. "He's a good husband for protecting you, isn't he?" You nod.

"He shouldn't have to watch this, should he?" You hesitate. "Or should he be rewarded for keeping secrets?" You choke out a sob, more tears sliding down your face. "The great Kanji Mochizuki," the man announces as if he were a ringmaster. "Brought to his knees by the one and only Manjiro Sano." Manjiro. You know that name. He squats in front of Mochi and roughly removes the tape from his mouth. Mochi is already spitting curses at him, shaking with rage at the sight of his boss lording over him.

"I'd watch your tongue," Manjiro warns. "Someone might feel the urge to take it out of your mouth." Mochi gathers up as much spit as he can in a millisecond and hocks it at Manjiro with enough force that it lands on his shoe. You tremble with fear. This could be the end.

"And with that," Manjiro mutters, standing. "I've changed my mind." Your eyes widen, but Manjiro places more duct tape over Mochi's mouth. "I don't want your sloppy seconds." Preliminary relief floods through your veins as you slump down, thanking whatever god was looking down at the moment.

"But I know someone who does." You stiffen and look up, just as a pink-haired man appears from the shadows, smiling widely. Your body feels like ice as soon as his gaze sweeps over you.

The scream Mochi emits past the duct tape is just as haunting.

[kozachenko]

I've crawled out of my cave after playing Final Fantasy IX for a long ass time what have I missed?

Artist's Notes:

I'M BACK BABY! A while back I made a post with a new style experimentation thingy but I ended up deleting it because it was just kind of a boring face thing, I was planning on doing more art but then I started playing Final Fantasy IX and uhhhh yeah so that game has kind of taken of my brain for the past two weeks and I am 20 hours into the game because I love it so much. I wanted to draw Vivi because Vivi is just really fun to draw ok? I've kinda been feeling really burnt out with my lineless style, mainly because of how hard it was to do lighting. I'll show one of my initial art style tests on the bottom of this post. Again, used to have it be an individual post but it was just one face so it was kinda boring, so might as well include with this one on the subject of art styles. I wanted to kinda mix some aspects of my older style with the sketchy shading lines with a more painterly way of doing the lighting (mainly in the shadows). All in all, I think that's my favourite part about this drawing, it feels nice to finally be able to do some proper lighting again, and I want to experiment even more with my lighting and rendering in future pieces. Also, part of the pant shading got kinda lost in the sketchiness, so for next time I'll probably focus on the clarity of the more sketchy parts of the drawing, since I did go with my initial sketch for the final drawing. I also gave up on the background since I had no idea what to do for it, and I didn't put too much detail into the staff as I forgot which one I gave him in my current playthrough and I didn't want to risk spoiling myself via looking up references, but that's ok I like how the singular yellow circle on it matches Vivi's eyes. Also I was having a bit of trouble figuring out how to draw his body and how to pose him, but I like how the pose turned out a lot. It was inspired by his idle animation when in a battle in game where he does a little shimmy.

Ok I need to talk about Vivi's design because I love it so fucking much oh my god-

I absolutely love how his face is just in complete shadow and only his eyes stand out, it's so cool and unique and I love how they recontextualized the original black mage design from the classic Final Fantasy games. How they did it I won't say because I don't wanna spoil the game, but someone give this poor baby a therapist because he goes through a lot. Actually, same can be said for all of the FFIX cast, they all need therapy (again, I won't spoil anything, please go play the game for yourself).

While I do love almost all the characters in the game, even though Vivi is most fun to draw, my favourite character has to be Zidane (the main protagonist of the game). He's a really fun protagonist, and they could have easily written him as a misogynistic jerk who doesn't respect women but they didn't, and I really appreciate that. He's just an overall cool dude who's a really nice older brother figure to Vivi and also just has a cool character design (who I also want to draw eventually). Initially in the game I was planning on grinding levels for Vivi to make him the tactical nuke of the party, but then that title went to a different character (who was initially multiple levels behind the group since I grinded the party in the starting area way to much before they joined, but now they are two levels ahead of everyone and have pulled the team through a lot of tough battles, again I won't say who it is because it is kind of a spoiler and the way the gameplay actually ties into their character arc is just so good omfg). Once I eventually finish the game I'll probably write a full review on here, so no spoilers until then lol

Also, I've kinda been burning out a bit with making Touhou art, which also made me a bit burnt out with Touhou stuff in general (although I will continue keeping up with the manga) so getting into other things (i.e. Final Fantasy and even Fallout since I've watched the first season of the TV show which is a whole other post for another day) has helped me refresh and given me something new to think about. I've ended up in the exact place I feared ending up, where I would start drawing fanart for it not because I wanted to but because I felt like I had to, so I'm taking a bit of a break. When I do draw Touhou fanart again I'll try to draw for the sake of myself, and to all the other artists and fanartists on this platform (and on any social media for that matter), take care of yourself and don't forget to take breaks when you need to!

(Ok part of that last paragraph was definitley influenced by the good ol' "it's 9:00pm and I need sleeb, but the message at the end still holds up, always take care of yourself)

Oh yeah, and here is that one style experiment I did btw

Man I really fell down the "Yoshitaka Amano art enjoyer" to "Final Fantasy fan" pipe line didn't I?

[whalehouse1]

@thefaeriefeatherdark Sorry, I just haven't had either the time nor the energy to write up a response to your thoughts on the AU and I apologize because this is basically stream of consciousness and not edited, but a few things about my 3 Superboys AU, which thanks to Jon is technically 5 but another time.

Okay, the Superboy AU has actually gotten worse thanks to Leah Williamson (long story, but now we have two Jons). But to answer your questions as best I can given my limited Super family knowlege. Connor is a Cadmus creation, he is straight up the series origins. Made by Cadmus with Lex's funding with Lex's and Clark's DNA. The main difference is he is the first attempt at being cloned and Cadmus lies and tells Lex the clone had deteriorated once he was out of his clone tube. If you want to add Contessa to this, you could have her doing this to spite Lex. I know nothing about her besides what you said in your post, but I'm sure she has good reasons to be spiteful to Lex. And you know to try to keep and groom a Superboy on her own.

As for Lena Thorul, I know nothing about her, but since I am a fan of random characters from Kara's original series (I want that trade if it will ever exist), I don't see any issue with her being involved. My only issue with Kara in your idea, is I hc her around the ages of the original Teen Titans from the comics. At most a year younger, only because I think it's funny that Dick will call her an old hag even though he's physically older, but she's older than even Clark by a decent amount.

I mean all three are Clark and Lex clones, so they will look alike, but as Connor and Kon do have other's DNA mixed in with them (Maik is the only 100% just those two's DNA), they're can be variation. I think Connor looks distinct enough, it could have just been the cartoon style, but he seems more muscular and taller. He's more of a football player, while Kon is more Baseball player in terms of general build (it's a very bad description, but the best way I can explain it without drawing it, sorry). And Maik is 12, he's baby shaped. But he's basically built thicker than Jon, but not really by much since again, babies. Connor doesn't have the earring like the other two do, but I think Maik in terms of appearance does get mistook as Kon's younger brother since they look a lot alike. Maik has much better fashion sense though, cause is it Kon if he is dressed well? Maik has the gray eyes from the movie cause they're very striking compared to everyone else's bright blue ones. I also just like grey eyes and there's not a lot of of them in comics. So Kon and Maik will look alike and will argue about who stole whose look, but it comes down to just their age and clothing. I think Maik will end up looking a bit more different when he gets older, but I think those two will resemble each other the most with the eyes and fashion being their difference sadly. As for their outfits, don't they all need those super awesome jackets? Connor sadly gets his black shirt and pants, it's boring, but you know which Super it is when you see this. I did liker Kon's outfit in Kelly's run and YJ98, but Maik's would start out as the same as in the movie, but I think he would keep a more subdued coloration in his outfit. I also think as he gets older, he would make his costume more punk-rock than just spiked shoulders. I'm not sure how exactly, but I like him having a music industry plant type of idea behind his creation and so I want to incorporate music styles into his older costume if that makes sense.

Well, we have how many Flashes now? It should be fine, right (laughing in DC's inability to give codenames to established heroes for mantle passing)? They would get new codenames, but I haven't thought that far ahead yet. Also their names would have to use some of their personality and stories (Nightwing coming from Clark's story, Troia coming from Donna's stay on the Greek Moon planet thingy, Tempest coming from his water magic, etc.). So that would take a bit to get a good codename for them. But them and both Jons would evolve into having their own codename. Kara at last could go for Superwoman (since as far as I know there isn't one running around (watch me be wrong and there's like 5).

Oh, I completely forgot about Matrix. I want to say since the goal of this AU is to give Ma and Pa Kent the biggest amount of grandchildren, I want to at first instinct say yes, but from what I remember about that, it's still just Kara just merged with another. Also, I just didn't enjoy the bits I've seen of it. But since I haven't read the whole story, I'm not going to say definitively no, but that was just a weird bit of Supergirl's history to me, but not enough for me to just, "yay, no" it. If you want those, ask me about Nightwing XD.

As for the "it's gotten more complicated" it might actually be more fun for you, since you like the paternity bit more, but again I haven't had a chance to read Kon's solo yet (I've been reading from the beginning and I haven't made it to Superman comics yet and until the 90's, there's not really any writer who I'm just going to skip (I can't with Dixon anymore. He can write good plots, but he's such an awful garbage person and it bleeds through too much for me. And actually between him and Fitzmartin, I almost started to hate Tim, but one of his fans actually helped me with that), so I still have awhile and time is a dick. But to the actual point, Connor is the first actual clone, but he isn't "alive" to the world as Contessa is keeping him a secret from Lex and so Lex decides to cut his losses and tries again and that's how we get Kon, but Kon on top of Lex and Luthor's DNA also has Westfield's DNA in the mix. So he'sd the first clone the world gets to know. As for where Contessa and Cadmus is storing Connor, I'm not 100%, since I really, really hated the clone tube, so they probably have a facility underground that they "trained" him in so that he would be perfect for their nefarious schemes. He 100% will keep Wolf, I don't know if it would be from an Outsiders' mission or a one off mission with the Titans, but he's getting Wolf. And I'm fine with him on the farm, the Supers can come and go from there and since it's centrally located, it's not a bad place for him to join up with others. He doesn't have flight, but he's fast and can jump. Also he can get the stickers from Lex again and one of the heroes could probably figure out a way to replicate them without the addiction issue, there's enough scientist to figure it out. I know absolutely nothing about Indigo, but as long as she isn't going to take him to the Legion of Superheroes I'm fine with it (still bitter about that arc with Kara in the show, it just never sat right with me). But I do like your idea of him staying at the Outsiders HQ until Clark invites him to the farm. I think Connor has more of a relationship with the Kents than Clark, because Clark just doesn't know him and after Kon doesn't know how to deal with this new, but older clone. And he has to deal with raising Jon, so he can't just drop everything to help raise this kid he never knew existed. I think it makes him more understandable than what YJ did with him where he just came off as a prick. The powers are right, the heat vision and cold breath aren't as strong as Clark or Kara's, but that can be enhanced with the shields and that's ofc where the flight comes in as well. I do think he has the most strength out of the three in terms of raw physical power. Kon's TTK though obviously wins in terms of actual strength.

Now, because I just want to make things over complicated for no reason, I get you like cybernatics, but as I'm not a big sci-fi fan, when Maik was being cloned, in an attempt to see if they could remove the kryptonite weakness, they had some red kyrptonite in the room where they were cloning him. He still has the weakness, but instead it warped his Kryptonian abilities to an extent. So for example, he has heat breath and frost vision. His superstrength isn't as strong as the others, but (thanks to your boiling water Kara thing), I think he has the strongest durability out of the Supers. This wasn't meant to contradict you, I just think it's funny Kara doesn't want to get him hurt, but if he's not around kryptonite, the kid could get punched by every other Super at full strength and he'd barely feel it. He's still strong and could punch a hole through a solid steel building without a problem, but he's losing the arm wrestling contests. He is also the one Lex had the most see-over on though so he is the smartest since he was basically being taught by Lex approved tutors and that. He also since he actually is the one clone that "got to be a kid" and if the aging thing was retconned, I'm fine with it, he started out as an actual kid, so he and Jon actually are one year apart (Jon's a year older, kid Jon, not teen Jon, as I said it got complicated, but another day), and he would have absorbed some of Lex's "morals", so he could have a good character arc of growing out of that greed inspired mindset and learning to see humans as humans. I do think the Danvers would be a great set for this. The Kents would be too, and they 100% get to help with their grandson, but the Danvers had Kara, who was a teen when they adopted her, with (depending on the timeline) good or bad Kryptonian ideaolgies and previous connotations on Earth and its inhabitants. So they have more experience with that than the Kents. Also, since he and Jon are essentially the same age and Maik starting as an antagonist, that would be a good start for them since it would give a chance of kids figuring out things and influencing each other and given what Jon has been through, it's not like he's 100% rainbows, unicorns and sunshine. He's been through the ringer, possibly more than any other Super, 3 years under Ultraman torture will do that to a person. More so, being left for dead and having to watch that person living your life. But yes, as Kon would have YJ and Connor would be best (for me personally) for the Outsiders with helping out the Titans and YJ at times, Maik would fit in perfectly with the amount of child heroes that exist right now. He might feel redundant if he joined up with Damian and Jon and the people I have on their youth team I have, but what's the harm in having two supers? But even excluding that fact, there's a large amount to make a team out of. And heck, he could even start on my Damian team, butt heads with him (not hard to do) and take a few with him to make his own team and get some of the others Damian couldn't recruit. Even more fun if it splits up the West twins so Wally and Linda have to listen to who has the better team at dinner at least twice a week. And for villains, they would have to fit a theme for him to grow, so if I were to write stories for him, I would want to figure out a good balance for that. I would have to think of a few examples, but someone targeting him for being Lex's son, clone, "hero", "weapon" wouldn't be bad, someone who isn't able to control their actions for one reason or another, I think an evil Toyman would be good to as well, a villain who wants the spotlight (like Punchline, but not as annoying, sorry I just don't like her), he'd be very good for a social media type of villain or a eugenics villain. There's potential for others, but for villains, I think the moral theme for the story should come before their gimmick for a good story (can you tell I'm a batbrat?).

As for the DNA samples, I think it'd be a cute story that Maik and Jon are wanting to be the babies (the twins come in after this so it's all pointless), and also just worried that since Cadmus and Lex both have had access to controlling all three clones, with each one being a stronger control (Maik even having a microchip just in case that Kara made inert whether through Kandor or heat vision, doesn't matter, but one of those), teaming up and Jon using some lockpicking skills he get from Damian and Maik knowing the layout of the building, breaking and entering and destroying the DNA samples Lex has and scanning the building for anything he could possibly use for more DNA and eradicating it. It doesn't even have to be a stressful comic, just a fun little one of them having fun destroying untold and unsolvable property damage to Lex Corp. Everyone wins. And I'll give you this for the cybernetics and Lex being more involved with him, we can give him electric touch. So he could be a human taser or stronger. Lightning has been shown able to incapacitate the Supers, so it wouldn't be a bad thing for Lex to put into the one he has the most control over, until he defects. But now relooking at the timeline you gave me, I don't know if Contessa could have been around for all three cloning attempts. If so, Maik could be the one she doesn't lie about to Lex, but if she couldn't have been in charge for Connor, the pettiness isn't needed. But I do like them lying to Lex that Connor was a failure, so when he finds out he's still alive and functioning, he tries to be a "good" dad with the stickers and to give him resources that Connor knows better than to accept after the incident with the stickers.

[nokaru]

Friend! Do you have any songs that remind you of Umihebi and/or Torou, together or individually??

Oh my darling you have no idea...sorry this took so long I got tired ahhh

I made this playlist ages ago, it's still in my drafts here too - never got around to actually posting it BUT it's here! I dub thee UmiTorou playlist: toxic gfs commiting crimes

I'll go about this the same way I would with other playlist posts so here are selected few with some commentary and lyrics ^^ putting it under read more

girl in red - You Stupid Bitch

Don't bite your lip or grit your teeth Just count to ten and try to breathe You stupid bitch, can't you see The perfect one for you is me?

need i say more? this is so UmiTorou. I see this song from Torou's pov, trying to chat up Umihebi after there was something between them already. (bonus points for girl in red and the beat)

Beabadoobee - The Perfect Pair

You ought to know that I think we're one and the same I don't think we could help it No, I don't think we could help it We don't talk much Guess 'cause nothing has changed And I'm not sure I like it And I'm so tired of fighting

perfect pair they sure are, also Beadadoobee's voice is giving UmiTorou if they were lo-fi. Something about being obviously bad for each other but also so so perfect for this one person only.

AURORA - Cure For Me

I run from the liars, the fuel on the fire I know I created myself I know I can't fight the sad days and bad nights But I never asked for your help

You got hurt No, we don't belong together So you took the love from my arms Into the arms of yours But I don't need a cure for me I don't need it

This one reminds me more of Umihebi and Torou individually (but also as a couple) - esp the "I created myself" line. I love evil women and implications they are the way they are because of nobody than themselves. No man involved for backstory, I am who I am because I chose this kinda deal.

The Brobecks - Visitation of the Ghost

You think that I don't know your game A pretty, pretty, pretty little face Despite every book and every little kiss you took She'll take your place

Umihebi to Torou, while they still danced around each other like they are not obsessed with each other sigh.

CRAWLERS - Come Over (again)

Take her name out of your mouth You don't deserve to mourn You just love the attention Or do you get bored? You like the power you have Hope you get caught in the law Do you think that you're happy? Just wait 'til you're sure

This is actually one of my Umihebi character songs cause it fits perfectly with my OCs and their relatioship with Umi + Umi origins. Basically Umihebi getting kicked around for her arrogant behaviour part 1

Mitski - A Pearl

You're growing tired of me You love me so hard and I still can't sleep You're growing tired of me And all the things I don't talk about Sorry, I don't want your touch It's not that I don't want you Sorry, I can't take your touch It's just that I fell in love with a war Nobody told me it ended And it left a pearl in my head And I roll it around every night Just to watch it glow Every night, baby, that's where I go

UmiTorou rocky relatioship 0.2, they are both complicated people (one more than the other) and they just CAN'T talk about it. Over their dead bodies.

The Dresden Dolls - My Alcoholic Friends

I'm trying hard Not to be ashamed Not to know the name Of who is waking up beside me Or the date, the season or the city But at least the ceiling's very pretty Should I choose a noble occupation? If I did I'd only show up late and sick And they would stare at me with hatred Plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends

Torou song right there!! Yes, maybe a bit cheesy but just listen to it...its so Torou and Obi coded. While Obi might have chosen the noble occupation, Torou (mind you not inherently evil) can't see herself as anything else than what she is now. She won't let go of her current life, just the thought of losing the freedom of it makes her sick.

Epic the Musical - My Goodbye

You are reckless Sentimental at best That's not a teaching of mine You've grown soft Your dead friends can attest Put your emotions aside You're a warrior Meant to lead the rest I don't know where I went wrong But I warned you And you failed the test

Umihebi getting kicked around by my OC for development part 2 (after getting arrested !!gone physical!! :0)

Chappell Roan - Pink Pony Club

I'm having wicked dreams of leaving Tennessee Hear Santa Monica, I swear it's calling me Won't make my mama proud, it's gonna cause a scene She sees her baby girl, I know she's gonna scream God, what have you done?

this became crazy Umihebi centric so this one is purely Torou song. I mean Chappell was made for her come on now...why Pink Pony Club? It's the vibes + my wife iilfal's fanfic about Torou's backstory (tho only vaguely). Also the line "I'm gonna keep on dancing" is so Torou and her lay-back personality. She would be the bomb in any club.

[espressoristretto-patronum]

Writer Interview Game

Thank you for tagging me @infernalrusalka I feel honoured that you thought of me 😭

No pressure tags: @gothic-lottie 😭 @ps-cactus @rypnami and everyone who wants to be interviewed! Some of you were already tagged so I wait for your answers on your Tumblr lmao

When did you start writing?

I think I was in middle school? I don't even remember if the first fandom I wrote for was Naruto or Harry Potter. Anyway, I canceled my account on the damned Italian ff site like a few years later because it was so bad and demential 💀

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Mhm, I don't think so? 🤔 Maybe on the contrary, I prefer writing angst over reading angst.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

Mhm, whenever I read a good fanfiction I think "damn I wish I could write exactly like that" but at the same time, I want to be original and to emulate nobody.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

There are two. One is my room (I know, boring), often at my desk, but also in my bed. The other one is on board of a train or plane. Surprisingly, I feel very motivated to write when I travel!

Whats your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Ah I really have no idea. The 'muse' appears randomly 😂 but yes, like I said on the previous question, inspiration comes often when I travel!

Are there any recurring theme in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I'm still a baby writer 😅

What is your reason for writing?

Like my moots with their MCs, I really wanted to give my MC Tori a lore. It's still a work in progress but I love writing about Tori and Poppy and generally about HL Universe.

Also, I want to improve my broken English 🙃 I still don't feel 100% confident, but hey, if I didn't try I would have never known! And now I know many talented people 🥺

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I love every type of comment, but I guess I like when the readers express the emotion I wanted to elicit? (I hope it makes sense 😅)

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Oh, ehm... Idk! I only hope that my readers will enjoy what I write 😅

What do you feel is your greatest strenght as a writer?

Maybe I'm good at writing overthinking because i'm an overthinker. ✨Art imitates life✨

How do you feel about your own writing?

Bad. I often like what I write but not how I write. I still have a lot to improve but the only way to be better is keep trying!

[xinnamonbun]

...YOU KNOW WHAT- F IT!

SHIP KIDS!

I'm not going to do anything with them but they have been rotting away in my drawing app for months, they deserve to breathe (also because they've been in there for months these drawings are old and as such I HATE them; burn the old art with fire)

Napoleon Ice Cream (Berry/Vanilla/Coco): Bot/Goo

The youngest; would be adopted YEARS after the second youngest is born; yes this means test tube and fan would be grandparents

I remember I loved these three so much, but looking back it's something about them doesn't look right- and also very original personalities were just so one dimensional (shy/happy/silly; from left to right) I still think that the idea of them being an object version of conjoined triplets is fun though.

Candy Apple: Marshmallow/Apple

Second youngest; was raised in the mansion; got bow from Aunt Bow as a birthday gift

Genuinely was a character that I think had potential if i was to do anything with them. They were just kind of silly and they were fun to imagine shenanigans with. I also had this thing where everyone else would think of her as "the crazy homeschooled until 3rd grade ghost believer"

Hurling Ball: Baseball/Nickel

3rd youngest; definitely a bit on the rude side but more in like the older brother way (like he'll pick on his friends and other ship kids but if you make fun of them he will destroy you mentally and physically; their best friend is Hot Air Balloon (more on that later)

I honestly thought he was boring before but weirdly I think he would have been one of the more interesting ship kids, weird how time changes people's perspective. Also some fun peace of trivia they were originally going to be a steel Ball but because I was obsessed with originality after I found out someone else already did that I tried to find another ball and hurling Ball looked good enough (tbh I don't even remember what sport his ball is from)

Paprika: Salt/Pepper

4th youngest; just like her moms; considered pretty

She's just a Blue's Clues reference. She is the most boring one on here.

Golden Cup: Trophy/Cheesey

5th youngest; loves pranks; would be a part of the mean girls.... that I never fleshed out-

The second most boring. It's unfortunate that her design ended up being the most simple because this was the FIRST one I did. Originally she was going to be a yellow cab but she was going to be a mug specifically so I could have a pun on there for cheesy but it ended up looking too clunky so I ended up going up this instead (I should have gone with the pun mug)

Hot Air Balloon (Balloon Jr.): Suitcase/Balloon

5th oldest; shy; despite the previous trait EXTRAORDINARILY protective of his friends; best friends with Hurling Ball

For this genuinely being my favorite ship surprisingly I didn't think of much for him. SIKE I MADE A WHOLE ARC OF HIM NOT WANTING TO BE BABIED BY HIS PARENTS. Kind of made him have a hole rebellious teen arc in which part of it is because of influence from Torch- oh right I scraped them because of my originality rule. So now they're arc doesn't make sense because I never even designed their love interest that causes half of the arc...great

Lamp: Lightbulb/Paintbrush

4th oldest; likes bossing other kids; has temper issues (geez wonder where those came from)

her whole thing is that she genuinely loves the world around her and constantly wants to explore it but because of the fact of if she gets too angry her light bulb explodes (and causing her to pass out and if not treated die) she's constantly pushed away from pursuing what they want to do in life which ironically has the opposite effect and ends up with them slowly bottling everything in (at least trying to) until it explodes in their face (literally IN their face)

Cucumber Salad: Taco/Cucumber (OC)

3rd oldest; has trust issues; has lived with her her whole life yet knows nothing about her mom

I've explained the absolute TEA that is the Taco drama when it comes to cucumber salad and I don't want to explain it again so if you want to know that whole story go here. She has no idea who her father is until much later in the story and as such Taco is her single mother. As for cucumber salad herself her trust issues are immaculate and what that basically means is that you cannot have a normal conversation with her without her demonizing you in her mind. Her one and only friend is Edge (we'll get to that in a little bit). Originally her and Ed were written into be love interests but WAY later for drama reasons I decided I wanted pickle and cucumber to be brothers... WHICH MADE THE SHIP REALLY BAD SO I SCRAPPED IT. I'm still in the fence about pickling cucumber being Brothers but I don't want to risk it so yeah the crush thing is scrapped. Unfortunately I realizing I didn't have a lot of her personality planned out cuz I was so distracted by tacos drama. Most scenarios I thought of with her was her realizing everything her mom has done in the past and/or the fact that she was a mistake-

Straight Edge Paring Knife: Knife/Pickle

2nd oldest; therapist friend; is it dumb in the smartest way possible

His entire personality was basically being the therapist friend and being smarter than he gave himself credit for. Like with more logic focus stuff he's terrible but when it comes to pretty much anything mentally he's as smart as a wise old man that's already lived life. A little bit of this comes from knife but a lot of it doesn't both pickle and knife are very confused on how they're son is so emotionally intelligent. He considers cucumber salad a friend but not a best friend unlike her (ouch)

Candelabra: Silver/Candle

Oldest; well at least she would be if she wasn't the only scrapped character that I've drawn

I forget what her personality was going to be before the most part she was pretty much just this elegant refined person. She was scrapped because I kid you not literally a couple HOURS after I drew her I came across an ask blog that also had a candelabra in it. Don't get me wrong I'm very appreciative is that I found it and it's one of my favorite Tumblr blogs to date (and is also run by one of my mutuals) However again I had a huge "all of the ship kids I make must be original objects with no exceptions!" thing so because of this I scrapped her immediately.

Closing thoughts:

This was a nice trip down memory lane, but if I was ever to actually make a ship kids thing then they would be redesigned, rewritten, and in certain cases replaced. Some of these designs are horrendous to look at looking back and/or are just boring. I'd want to rewrite a lot of their personalities and stories at the very least to make them feel more dimensional. And for certain characters I don't know if I'd want them to exist at all (mainly golden cup)

[lightsburnbrite]

The Love You Want: Part 6

As soon as Leon left, my mother turned to me. "Ok. I want the whole story, starting with why you left London."

I sighed as I trudged over to the coffee maker. I fixed a cup and sat down at the kitchen table, taking a sip. Finally, I nodded. "I think that Alex and I had different ideas as to what marriage would look like. Everything was fine when I first moved to London. I was making friends at the office and Alex and I had just started dating. Then when things became more serious between us and he asked me to marry him, Alex said that he didn't want me to work, he wanted me to enjoy the finer things in life."

I paused to take another drink while my mother patiently waited for me to continue. I knew she's have questions but also that she'd save them for once I had made it through the entire story.

"So, at first, it was great. I'd go shopping and sightseeing, he'd take me out to dinner or other social functions. But, I also didn't really have any friends. I was the youngest out of all of the wives and they didn't like me anyway, they liked Alex's second wife better. The days go on and I'm becoming lonely and bored which made me think it was then a good time to start a family only I didn't realize that Alex already has four kids and didn't want anymore."

Mama only nodded.

"After Papa's funeral, I was really upset with him and laid it all out on the table. That's when Alex gave me Greta, he said I didn't need a baby because I had a puppy now."

Now she frowned. "Well, that's not how it works."

I could only shrug. "Eventually it got to the point where Alex could see how unhappy I was so he suggested we divorce. He's giving me spousal support for the next two years."

Mama nodded again. "So what made you choose Munich instead of Bochum? Or do I already know the answer?"

"No," I shook my head. "Originally, I wasn't even going to leave London. Alex was prepared to give me the house but when I went back to Deutsche Bank, there wasn't a position for me in London so it was suggested that I transfer to the Munich branch. I would not have gone through with the move if it wasn't for Leon being down here."

Now she smiled. "So once you moved, the two of you-"

"He actually had a girlfriend when I first got here." Thinking about the pang of regret I felt when I saw Leon with Lara, I frowned. "We did reconnect and we hung out a bunch but his girlfriend didn't like it at all and eventually she tried to make him choose either to continue see her or spend time with me."

"Please tell me this is when you all finally decided-"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Mama. That brings us up to now. We go back and forth between each other's places and…it's just right. We've talked about regretting not getting involved sooner but at the same time, we've both experienced other people so now I feel like it's meant to be."

She was grinning ear to ear and immediately pulled me into a hug. "I'm not going to tell you how happy I am for the two of you. Does Katharina know?"

I gave a noncommittal nod. "He's going to tell her at some point today but I don't know when."

"So," Mama reached across the table and took my hand. "Leon aside, how are you doing?"

I started to speak and the frowned. She'd know if I was lying so I might as well be completely truthful from the start. "I'd probably be struggling if it wasn't for him. I'm doing ok at work but I'm not sure that I still want to be in finance but I don't know what else I would do. I didn't like sitting at home all day so I know I need to do something."

"And what if you're pregnant?" She raised an eyebrow as if she already knew I'd try to wave it away.

"If I'm pregnant," I sighed, it still seemed weird saying that. "Then I'd want to stay home and raise the baby. There's no way I could go to work and sit behind a desk all day while my baby is going through all sorts of 'firsts' with someone else. I mean, obviously, I'd need to talk it over with Leon-"

"I doubt he'd have an issue with that." Mama smiled again. "Just something to keep in mind."

We sat in silence before I cleared my throat. "Do you really think I'm pregnant?"

"I think it's a possibility that makes sense given your symptoms…" Now she sighed. "Especially since you haven't been taking any precautions."

Now, I rolled my eyes. "Mama, I don't need a lecture, ok?"

She looked back at me as if to say really? "As long as you're ok with the possible outcomes."

"I didn't plan it but he's the man I want to have a family with." I shrugged. "Maybe not this soon but I absolutely want this."

Mama pressed her lips together and nodded. "Fair enough."

For the rest of the day, I took my mother around the city to show her some of my favorite places followed by lunch at a little cafe that I had been meaning to visit for a little while. We stopped at the shops on the way home so I could pick up a home pregnancy test. I saw a set of three and figured why not, at least that way I'd be extra sure. 

As soon as we got home, I went straight for the bathroom with my bag from the drug store. After setting the boxes out on the vanity, I stopped. Maybe Leon would want to be with me when I found out? As much as it killed me, I decided to wait, especially since I read that it's most accurate first thing n the morning. Mama and I sat down to watch a show before I took Greta out for her walk but I found that I couldn't keep my mind focused on anything but the possible pregnancy. Leon seemed ok with it, but would he think I intentionally got pregnant? The last thing I wanted to do was to push him away.

I didn't have time to dwell on that thought, as soon as I walked in the front door, Leon stood up from the sofa to greet me. 

He was absolutely beaming as he embraced me, speaking softly in my ear. "Any news?"

"Not yet," I rested my hands on his cheeks before I gave him a small kiss. "I thought I'd wait so we could find out together."

Leon's smile widened. "No idea how you've been able to wait. It's been on my mind all day."

"Me too." I placed my hands on his chest. "But we're going to have to wait a little bit longer."

I laughed as he literally pouted. "What? Why?"

I bit my lip in a grimace. "So…a person's urine is most potent first thing in the morning and that's when they suggest taking the test."

"Oh," His eyes widened in realization. "Right. Because you have to…like…pee on the stick."

I nodded. "Super sexy, I know."

Now he smirked and pulled me back against him. "Whatever, I just want to know for sure."

I only remembered that Mama was in the room with us when I heard the page of the newspaper turn. "Right , so, dinner?"

"Anyone have a preference?" Leon then turned to Mama. "Indian, Asian. We could do a steakhouse."

There were times when I loved dressing up and going to a Michelin starred restaurant but for whatever reason tonight, I just wanted something casual. "What about Sardinia Day? I'm feeling like pasta."

"I'll be fine with whatever you all choose." She smiled warmly at him. "I'm not picky."

Once we were seated at the restaurant, I sat back and watched how Leon and Mama interacted. He had always been polite and courteous, his parents wouldn't have tolerated otherwise, but as we grew from teenagers to young adults to now, Leon had taken on a more casual, friendly approach with them. I had to laugh at how overjoyed Mama was when she learned that we were dating but it also came along with this little pang of sadness that Papa never got to see me in a relationship with Leon. He walked me down the aisle when I married Aleksandr but I would trade anything for him to be there to see me marry Leon. Of course, we needed to talk about actually getting married but that was only a small detail. 

When our food came, I suddenly felt famished. I ordered the four cheese gnocchi while Leon got carbonara and Mama chose a Caesar salad. Mama laughed at me while I kept taking bites from Leon's plate and then ordered the tiramisu for dessert. 

"I'm hungry, ok?" They both looked at me then to each other as if they knew something I didn't.

Leon had already planned on staying over tonight which was helpful because all I wanted to do was crawl into bed once we got home. Mama retreated to the guest room and Leon took care of Greta before he joined me in bed. I waited for him to get settled before I nestled myself against his side.

"Babe?"

"Hmm?" He let out a sigh. "What is it Elle?"

I gently traced my finger tips in a pattern along his ribs. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," When he paused I could tell he was trying to figure out where I was going with this. "Why wouldn't I be?"

I found myself speaking quickly. "I just didn't want you to think that I tried to get pregnant on purpose. I mean, I could have-"

"And I could have insisted on wearing a condom or at least pulling out." Leon's tone shifted to one that was slightly more stern as if he wasn't going to entertain any arguments otherwise. "It's as much on me as it is you."

I couldn't stop myself from yawning now. "What do you want the result to be?"

When he was silent for more than a moment, I started to worry, but all he needed to do was to stroke my arm to get me to relax again. "It's not something that I was thinking of until this morning, but I feel like we're in a good place. I'm settled and comfortable here and I think you're getting to that point too plus it's not like we're young and dumb, I think we're both mature enough to be good parents."

"But?" I looked up at him now, sensing the caution in his tone.

"Not necessarily a but," He sighed again. "I'm just trying to temper my expectations until we know for sure."

There was a long pause between the two of us.

"Because I'd be disappointed if you weren't."

I tried to read his expression but the room had gotten too dark by this point. "Really?"

"Yeah," He let out a little laugh. "Ever since you said that all you wanted was to be a mother and to have a family, it got me thinking that I've achieved a lot in my professional career but that's what I've been missing."

Right then and there I wanted to melt into him. Eventually I felt his breaths come even and slow and I knew he had fallen asleep. I was tired, exhausted even, but sleep wouldn't come. 

I laid in bed with a million different scenarios running through my mind. Would he want to move in together? I couldn't imagine Leon being against living together but then it clicked in to me that I didn't even know what he did when the season was over. I was assuming that we'd move in together at his place, there was more space and a nice little garden out back, everything about his house said family where as my apartment did not. Hell, I didn't even own the bed that we were currently lying in. I knew some friends who's parents moved to be closer to the grandchildren, would Mama want to move down here to be closer to us? 

Covering my face with my hands, I sighed. I just wanted to know. Everything else would fall into place once we had a definite answer.

[melody-han-wayne]

(OOC: Update + Apology—Long Post)

So I've been pretty much non-existent for the past 4 months or so BUT I can explain!

Basically what happened is that I emigrated to not just a different country, but a different continent on literally the other side of the world from where I grew up. And I left behind all my friends and family at home, meaning I came here alone and I'm still alone and probably will be alone for as long as I remain in this new country. So for the past few months I've been dealing with moving and settling down and making plans to secure my future in this new country—heck, just making sure I can have a future in this new country. I'm more or less settled into my new life now (except for the planning for the future part) but before that I kind of forgot about Melody for a while 🫥

So anyway the guilt ate away at my subconscious and Melody's voice came to me in a dream and berated me for abandoning her, so I woke up and quickly came to check on my baby. And I realise, to my utter mortification and horror, that I never paused my Tumblr queue, so all the half-baked ideas, the rough drafts, the tentative-but-not-in-chronological-order character development, had been posting itself while I was away 🫠. So if during the past 5 months you saw my blog degenerate into a bigger and bigger mess and wondered "What the heck is going on"—it's not you, it's me. Right now I'm just trying to salvage what I can of my blog (and my dignity) and reorganise everything I originally planned for Melody (tbh I forgot half of it but I'm sure the memories are in here somewhere, I just have to clean out the dust and oil the gears first).

Honestly I have no idea how many people follow(ed) Melody's story, I might as well be posting into the void for all I know. But like so many of the other RPers on this blog I started because I was bored and had some ideas in my head that wouldn't leave me alone, and over time I became attached to my OC and her story (perhaps unhealthily so). That's part of the reason why I decided not to just delete my blog and make my absence permanent. Because working on this self-indulgent project used to make me happy, and because I still have some ideas I want to share with whoever might be lurking around. Another reason is because of the community that welcomed me and that I personally watched grow. Even when this blog was at its 'most active' I probably didn't interact with other RPers as much as I should/could have (again, it's not you, it's me) but what little interaction we did have I truly did enjoy as we built and connected our own stories and characters while also interpreting the DC ones. I don't think I've said this before, and I don't think I'll ever say it enough, but really, thank you all for being willing to indulge me and play with me. This has been a lovely space to be in, and you guys combined are like 80% of the reason ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@florence-wayne-official @kit-the-nonbinary-wayne @that-one-gotham-kid @amira-wayne-al-ghul @warren-wayne-kyle @teagrayson + anyone I missed, knowing the rate at which this community grows there's bound to be at least one person I didn't tag (it's not a snub—again, not you, it's me and my bad memory—please don't be offended 🥺)

((idk if tagging everyone is proper etiquette after my prolonged absence, I was just going to say 'you know who you are' at first and leave it at that but I'm not sure if you guys actually know who you are 😅 so if I'm breaking some kind of unspoken Tumblr code of etiquette I apologise again))

(((I didn't mean for that above note to sound as rude as it did)))

ANYWAYS if you've read past the wall of text above to make it down here congratulations and thank you, I'll be doing my best to clean up/revise my blog and my OC and her story in the coming weeks and hopefully get some sort of continuity back on track :) I'm also trying to figure out what happened in the rest of the RP community in my absence so if I reply to a three-month-old post now: once again, it's not you, it's me, and there's totally no obligation to engage with.

Can't wait to hang out with the Batfamily again ☺️ plus all my RP siblings, half-siblings, future siblings, stepsiblings, undead siblings etc XD

[tzigone]

Rewatched Dirty Dancing for the first time in at least a decade

Rewatched Havana Nights, too. I've seen the original mores time, but it's been at least a decade since I've seen either.

Of course, the story is a moment in time and ends there. But people like "what happened next" and I totally went to look for fanfic on it, I admit. Way too many "she's pregnant" stories - hell no. Johnny should not have trouble getting condoms at that time in history and given Penny's recent trauma, I just don't really buy them not using birth control.

But what do I think would happen? Well, I want my couples together. But what do they do, besides be in love? I will say Baby and Johnny are part of the formation and growth of each other and each other and the the events influenced their world views in ways that would linger forever, even if they didn't stay a couple. But I'd keep 'em together, because I'm a sucker for happy ending.

I admit to not watching all that closely this time around, so may have missed details telling us what they might want.

Did Johnny really truly love dance in the sense of wanting it as a career? I know Penny said it was all she ever wanted to do - not sure if she was being honest about it. If I made one really have success at it, it'd be her, I think.

I remember how Johnny felt about about Baby's father helping Penny. Now, yes, saying he's nothing is part of his own skewed view of his own worth. But would he like to be able to do something "important" because it's what he wants, instead of just for the regard it would grant him? That ability to help, and the willingness that Baby had to do so, are something he so admires, and doe he want to emulate it?

I do think Johnny has both desire and disdain for that upper middle class lifestyle (indeed, some of the disdain at, least, is envy-driven, though some deserved, as well). The security, the comfort, the women who take care of themselves and smell nice and all the "softness" and ease are have their appeals. I don't know if he could accomplish it - college isn't expensive then (well, depending on where you are), but affording to live while you are at school is an entirely different thing. And I'm not sure his pride or sense of "rightness" would allow for college-graduate wife Baby paying his way through later (and, of course, he'd be older). College is by no means a necessity, though. But what flavor of meaningful work would suit and please him?

Anyone else think his uncle might be better off than his own folks - union painter/plasterer would not be bad pay (though it depends on how many weeks work there are each year, and, of course, is blue collar).

Baby. Frances. She grew up so much. She went from viewing her father as almost perfect to realizing he was a (still good) man with his own flaws and biases. She learned you can't always change the unjust things, but trying matters anyway. But she's not as naive anymore. It's obviously important that she not give up wanting to help - to make the world a better place. But it's the method of it, I'm curious to. Will she be a lawyer or economist or something else? Certainly, I don't expect her to live in the same sort of "bubble" she grew up in - with the idea that "those people" are "other" - that it's good to help, but that they occupy different social spheres. So I do think she'd want a more mixed (economically, socially, racially) environment and social circle in her adulthood. Does she still go for the Peace Corps or for more mundane help at home? The world and youth culture change so much in the next few years (though we have to be mindful that the actual sixties had a whole lot boring, non-activist, traditional life-style young people), and how is she affected by those changes? Don't want her the cynic.

Then for Havana Nights, there's a whole other pickle with the political elements and consequences. Javier is hopeful for a brighter future. And Castro was quite popular for a quite a while, and there really were significant improvements in life for many. But he not a proponent of violence, and the executions, imprisonments, and setting folks up to spy on each other will not endear him. So how long until he leaves, and what does he do when he does? He's devoted to his family and is the major financial provider for his mother and nephew. Having dependents makes so much more difficult. Will he get leave for the US? Will he get his family there, too or just send remittances? And his brother is a whole 'nother can of worms. Even if he does come to the US, he absolutely not going to mesh well with the earliest/first-wave emigrants, who favor Batista like US influence over Cuba.

Katey is very much the typical teen in that she no idea what she wants to do with her life. She doesn't have a "direction" or dream job or anything like that. Still very much finding her way. Just with broader horizons after her experiences. And far more cognizant of of the impact of politics. Don't know what I'd have her do.

[tdoong15]

Little!Yeji. Cg!Ryujin

Warnings: none

Messing with filters

Ryujin and Yeji were in Ryujin's room, laying on her bed, because Yeji had woken up feeling small so she decided to walk over to the other girl's room. They were currently watching Alice in Wonderland since that was what Yeji had requested to watch, there was no reasoning behind it, she just felt like watching that movie.

"Mama you wook wike the Blue Caterpillar" Yeji commented which made Ryujin widen her eyes in surprise. "Are you sure it's the caterpillar and not the Cheshire Cat,Yeddeong?" Ryujin asks, kind of hoping that Yeji was meant to say something else instead of the Caterpillar. "Hmm? Oh yea I sees it now" Yeji looks at the Cheshire Cat on the screen then back at Ryujin. "What am I mama?" Yeji questions, she was intrigued by the idea of knowing which Alice in Wonderland character she was. "I think you're Alice herself because you're really brave" Ryujin says honestly, her fingers ran through Yeji's hair in a soothing motion.

Yeji nods her head in agreement as she continues to watch the movie alongside her Mama. When the movie came to a close, Yeji poked Ryujin's arm until Ryujin looked at Yeji. "Mama I'm hungwy" Yeji pouts slightly. Ryujin was thinking about teasing the little but she couldn't bring herself to do it especially because of how cute Yeji looked when she pouts.

"Alright then, Yeddeong. Can you please move over so Mama can go and collect some snacks?" Ryujin gives a soft smile when Yeji immediately does as she's told, proving how hungry she was because normally Yeji would have messed around and continued to lay on Ryujin for a few more minutes.

"Good job, Yeddeong. Now I won't be long I promise to be up as fast as possible once I've grabbed some snacks for us" Ryujin explains whilst she walks out of the room, she decided to leave her phone since she wasn't going far and because she trusted Yeji to not mess with her phone. " 'Kay 'Kay, mama." Yeji waves at Ryujin and waits for her to come back.

After two minutes Yeji got bored and looked around the room for something to entertain her. She then spotted Ryujin's phone on the bedside table and a grin grew on her face as she took the phone and unlocked it with the password she remembered. "Oooo I can take pwetty photos!" Yeji clicks on the camera icon and begins to take hundreds of pictures of herself really up close.

Yeji had accidentally pressed on a random but it had exposed her to filters. "Woah! I can wook wike something else!" Yeji happily exclaimed before she took even more pictures of herself in a variety of filters from one that distorts her face to one that gave her cat ears. She also created videos for any filters that changed her voice.

Yeji was laughing hysterically at the new discovery and it was to the point where she didn't hear Ryujin enter the room again. "What are you doing Yeddeong?" Ryujin laughs softly at the faces Yeji had pulled. As soon as Yeji heard Ryujin's voice she immediately placed the phone back to where it was. "I did nothin' mama" Yeji tried to make a lie because she thought she was in trouble. "Hey it's fine, I saw you having fun on my phone" Ryujin gives a reassuring smile, she also hugged Yeji gently.

"Oh 'kay then mama. I didn't do anythin' bad though" Yeji clears her name when she sees Ryujin take her phone back to check her camera roll. "I can see that Yeddeong, it looks like you do enjoy the filters quite a bit especially the cat one." Ryujin's smile grows wider, revealing her dimples, when she looked at all of the pictures.

"How about we take one together? Would you like that, baby?" Ryujin asks Yeji, who immediately nodded her head at a rapid pace. "Alright let's do one together." Ryujin lays back on the bed and Yeji quickly goes back to resting on top of her. What was originally meant to be one picture actually turned into a lot because Yeji had taken control of Ryujin's phone again and had spammed the photo button numerous times, but it didn't upset Ryujin at all because it only meant more memories to keep.

Hello I've posted once again. I decided to go with ITZY this time because I don't see a lot of agere fics related to them (unless there actually is a lot and I've just not seen them.) I was actually meant to post this yesterday or the day before, I'm not quite sure, but the reason why I didn't is just simply due to the fact that I kept pushing it back, along with the fact I was playing video games yesterday.

[scarareg]

For the AoT ask game:

1, 2, 7, 9, 11, 13, 18, 20, 27, 35 and 40!

1-What was your first impression of the show?

This is funny because I remember starting episode one and something interrupted me so I could not even finish the first scene. Later I tried again and the same happened! Can you believe it?

The third try is when I finally watch it and I remember thinking "We're about to experience a once-in-a-lifetime story, aren't we?" and it was! It was so well written and shocking and the animation was gorgeous,in particular I loved the eyes and the landscapes!!!

The rest is history. I also started the manga as soon as season one finished. Seeing that titan in the wall was shocking and I wanted more of Eren and the gang!

2-What did you think was in the basement?

I didn't have idea! I was like "I'm just here for the ride" but because I thought that there were humans behind the titans (because of Annie),maybe a villain organization or something similar and that they created and/or controlled the titans,so in the basement Grisha would spill the beans,that maybe he worked for them but no longer wanted and was trying to stop them and that's why he made Eren a titan holder and he would tell us some of the members of this organization (not everyone because that would be boring,we need mistery) including who are the Armored and Colossal titans

Kinda a good guess it seems ,but way out of base at the same time

7-Favorite season?

Final season part 2. I love how far out babies have come,especially Gabi. The Rumbling and the plot twist are the best so far and MAPPA has done an incredible job and I am so grateful with them for that!

9-Do you own any AOT Merch?

Yes! The Survey Corps cape,the manga 2nd & 3rd volumes I guess and a Survey Corps necklace. I want the nendoroids of everyone and Eren's key

11-In your opinion, who had the greatest glow up?

This one is hard because everyone look like models! maybe is bias but I pick Eren. He has always been so good looking and his eyes are WFDGSGDVFEGVFG but now his long hair is the cherry on the cake!

If not him, Mikasa! she is so damn pretty!

13-One thing you’d change about the story?

The only thing would be to see more of the War Hammer titan. It has such an incredible design and ability that is kinda sad that Eren did nothing with it.

18-Favorite op?

Jiyuu No Tsubasa,op 2! The animation is gorgeous ,love how the credits move along the 3d maneuver gear ,the foreshadowing to Annie,Reiner and Bert,and the song is great af,lift my spirit!

20-What was the hardest death for you?

Between Sasha and Hange,I cried hard af with both,like if a real life friend died. When the episode of Sasha's death was going to premier,I stood in front of the mirror like Eren and said " you are not going to cry again" and then I proceeded to cry XD

27-Who would you hate irl?

The obvious answer,Floch. Fuck that guy! The not-so-obvious answer is Annie and Eren,him specifically in his hobo era. I would not hate them but I think they would seem pretty unnaprochable and intimidating

35-Is there a character you really see yourself in? Why?

Maybe you would not like the answer but Armin! my soulmate. Maybe because I grew up with him, he has influenced my personality a lot, like being a pacifist, always trying to be empathetic and seeing all sides of an argument/problem, valuing intelligence. We are both underestimated by our appearance and we both make plans to get what we want.

40-How did you originally think the show would end?

Because I thought there was a villian organization,I thought they would defeat them and kill all the titans. I had a scene in my mind,now in retrospect it sounds very naive,but I imagined that the last panel would be Eren and Armin (and maybe Mikasa) finally in peace,in front of the ocean resting and happy *cries*

Thank you very much my dear! Was really,really fun to recall things of ten years ago!💕

[farfromstrange]

Foreigner's God | m.m

Matt Murdock x avenger!OFC

Chapter forty-one: Daylight (Taylor’s Version)

previous chapter ° series masterlist

Summary: She ties up the loose ends of her life and gains some knowledge along the way — it all leads to what she’s been searching for all along: closure.

Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, non-sexual intimacy, mentions of sensory overload, mentions of mental health issues, funeral & death of a parent, religious imagery and symbolism, slight fluff

a/n: This chapter officially ends Act One. The next chapter will be part of Act Two which will follow the Season 2 Storyline with all characters and quirks that are part of the show. But I’ve also got an original idea for Act Two that I will continue along the lines. Don’t worry, they blend well.

Edit: I have deleted the original post and decided to publish the chapter again because it seems not to properly show AGAIN. I'm not sure if it simply doesn't reach people, if it doesn't show in the tags or if it's something else. Or maybe it's because my writing has been getting worse, who knows. My posts have started flopping and it's frustrating. I love writing, I'm just lacking a little motivation. And at this point, I think Tumblr has something against me...

The last time she stood in Anton Petrova’s pathetic excuse of an apartment, she had been armed with a gun and a darker purpose that ultimately put her back there, his death was now a prominent memory in her mind, and she couldn’t keep retracing her steps. He only got caught in the crossfire because she used Hydra’s grudge against him to get what she wanted, but from what she learned he planned it from the beginning. He put a fail-safe in place if he ever died, and he expected to die. He expected to die to protect her and make up for what he did. 

Human decisions are often twisted and only make sense if you think more about them. Sometimes you have to take a closer look into the person’s brain to understand, and she understood now. She figured she was doomed to have the people around her get hurt simply because they cared about her. It was a curse. She had long accepted it. Though the reminder of what happened stabbed her chest with a dull butter knife and pierced her soul in two. 

The walls were colder now—empty, void of life. The lightbulb flickered. She ran her shaky fingers over the wood of the dinner table. If she thought hard enough, she could make out the silhouette of the gun she had once placed on top of it. She remembered the door opening and his shocked yet expectant eyes staring right back into hers. Even the groceries he had dropped on the couch were still there. It smelled and looked like him, and still, it felt like the home of a stranger. No pictures, no personal belongings, only four boring walls to be living in.

It felt illegal, to be there. She was invading a dead man’s privacy. The apartment was so empty, she doubted Tony was right with what he said. Maybe Anton made sure the fail-safe got removed in case someone else might come around. Her blood ran cold. Her heart rate picked up. Her fists clenched and she twirled around, eyes darting over the place and the many empty corners of the room.

“Eliza,” Matt said softly from the door, leaning onto his cane. “What’s wrong, why are you scared?”

“What if- what if someone bugged this place?” she breathed out. “What if someone’s listening to us right now?”

“There are no cameras here. If there were, I’d be able to hear the static. Hydra’s gone, baby. They can’t hurt you anymore.”

“It’s so empty…” she said. Her breath hitched and she placed her palm flat against the wall that bordered his suspected bedroom. “The entire place, it’s so cold and empty. How can anyone live like this?”

She knew no one was watching them, her better judgment told her as much, but the lacking sense of familiarity ate away at her heart and it made her uneasy. She could feel the fear deep in her bones, the suspicion of a bigger threat looming at the horizon – but that threat was gone. Most of Hydra was dead and those who survived were locked away at SHIELD. She was safe. Her father died to help her take them down, so he would never rig his apartment, let alone lie to Tony. She was missing something, and it had nothing to do with a threat to her or Matt’s life.

He shrugged, taking a step forward until he stood only a foot away from her. “It’s a safe house. They often look dull.”

“But am I not supposed to feel something other than dread right now? He was my father.”

“Everyone deals with grief differently. God knows I locked myself away completely after my dad died. I didn’t let anyone in and I felt absolutely nothing but emptiness in my chest throughout the grief process. I only cracked after Stick… Well, it doesn't matter.” He sighed wearily. “It’s over now. Most importantly, you’re safe, Hydra is gone and your father is about to find peace. No matter how bad of a father he was, he did something honorable to help us – to help you. God will grant him some forgiveness for that, I’m sure. I’ll pray for that.” 

“No,” she turned around, “I don’t want to hear about God right now.” She didn’t mean to sound snappy.

Instead of recoiling though, Matt only smiled. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. I-“

“Shh.” He touched her shoulder. “You’re allowed to feel all kinds of things right now. It’s okay. I won’t mention his name again until you’re ready.”

“Okay… thank you.”

“Be as unfair as you want, I can take it.”

“I don’t want to be unfair. I just need to…” Eliza switched her eyes toward the ceiling. Had the faint shadow been there before? She moved closer, extending her hand. She couldn’t touch the quadrant, but it looked like a secret entrance to some sort of attic. Motel rooms in the form of apartments weren’t supposed to have that. 

Fail-safe. Anton went out of his way to secure it. That was why the apartment seemed suspicious; he hid what was most important for her to find in case something happened, which it did, or things went wrong and someone raided the place. That never happened; now it was her turn to claim what was rightfully hers. Everything in there belonged to her, it was her heritage, but he had more than a few unpaid bills and crusty furniture.

She scoffed. “That smart bastard.” She grabbed one of the chairs and moved it under the quadrant.

Matt was behind her in seconds, holding his hands on either side of her hips. “Careful,” he said.

“I’m okay. I’ve climbed higher than that.”

“I just don’t want you to break your neck.”

“Please, you look like a mother standing behind her toddler right now.” 

“Well, that’s what I feel like. Be careful,” he repeated, though he didn’t directly touch her this time, he only hovered, which was even worse somehow.

She pushed against the lid. It went off, sliding aside to reveal the dark inside of the ceiling. Eliza strained to reach inside. Patting along the wooden plate, she soon found what she was looking for.

It was a carton, nothing too big, but it was heavy. She pulled it out, doing the thing Matt desperately wanted to prevent. Thankfully, he steadied her with a hand against her lower back so she wouldn’t stumble further and fall off the chair.

“You okay?” he asked.

She only nodded, accepting his help to get her down. He quickly placed the chair aside – truly a mother hen – and she moved on to the living room table. 

Staring up at him expectantly, she patted the couch. “Sit with me,” she said.

He fixed his glasses, giving a lopsided and shy grin before he tapped his way forward. The surroundings were new and he had to use his cane this time. Eliza took his hand halfway and guided him toward her. Her heartbeat was always a good guidance point. 

With a deep breath and him by her side, Matt’s hand resting on her thigh now to offer his support but not intrude too much (he couldn’t help much anyway, this exceeded his abilities and at that moment, he truly hated not being able to see because he was beyond curious and possibly even a little worried), she opened the lid of the carton.

The papers inside were sorted and tied together with rubber bands, mostly pictures and unopened letters as well as a folder she would get back to later. What she focused on was the DVD. It was old and most TVs didn’t even use the format anymore, but when she looked up at the old device standing in the room, she realized there was a fitting slot. She could watch it right then and there and she wouldn’t have to keep it in the back of her mind anymore.

Regarding the video Tony mentioned… she wasn’t sure if she wanted to watch it or burn it. How was she supposed to deal with this after everything that went down? She hated this. She hated how it made her feel and the thoughts that made her feel all fuzzy. This was too much. Too much pressure for someone as young and fragile as her.

Children shouldn’t outlive their parents. 

“Oh, keep it together!” she cursed to herself as the first tears gathered in her eyes again. “I hate this shit.”

Matt squeezed her thigh reassuringly. “You want to take a break?”

“No,” she was determined, “I just… I don’t know what I need. If he hadn’t died, this wouldn’t suck so much. I could be angry with him still and not have to deal with his death atop everything else.” 

The pictures were mostly memories from when she was a baby, though there was one that knocked the air out of her lungs. It was a clear black-and-white picture of her mother. That was enough to make the tears fall and caught the sobs with the palm of her hand. A teardrop landed on the picture, pearling off and making the woman’s face all blurry. 

“I wish I could know what she looked like,” Matt murmured next to her, “so I can know more about the mother who created such a beautiful and strong woman. If she was still alive, I think we’d have dinner every weekend, do barbecues, and eventually have our kids running around her backyard – and your father would be there too because if they were both here, none of this would have happened to you.”

As much as she wanted what he suggested, she could never give him that family. Her heart ached. She put the picture down, hanging her head low and she sobbed once more, leaning into him so he could do something, anything, to make the world go away.

“And I wish I could read those letters to you so you wouldn’t have to carry that burden. It’s days like these that frustrate me that I can’t help you the way you need.”

She sniffled, sucking in a sharp breath before she straightened again. He couldn’t carry the burden for her, but she could attempt to carry and deal with it herself and have him hold her hand throughout. It was worth so much more. She had to learn how to be strong for the sake of being better than she was before. The letters were there for a reason. 

Two envelopes. One red, the other a basic beige one. 

A post-it fell out. 

Watch the video first.

She put the letters back down, taking out the DVD. 

“You can help me with this,” she said to Matt, “because it’s a video and I don’t know I’ll survive if you don’t hold my hand. I’m sorry if it’s too much to ask, but-“

He shushed her. Without asking, he took the DVD, searching for the slot in the TV for a good two minutes before he finally managed to slide it in.

“Sex is so much easier,” he grumbled under his breath.

Eliza laughed, although broken and her voice cracked to break into even more sobs. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”

“Stop apologizing. I told you, your feelings are valid. Let them out.”

He returned to the couch to hold her in his arms while he used the Braille on the remote to start the video.

Hi. Hello. 

She gasped when she heard her father’s voice, his face appearing after a moment of darkness.

Alina, if you find this, I’m probably long gone or went to jail or maybe both. I filmed this video shortly after the Accords were put in place just in case something might happen to me. I made sure the information about this box would end up in Tony Stark’s hands, no one else’s, because I know he will tell you when it was time. When you already know because he couldn’t hold it anymore or you figured it out yourself. It’s for that occasion.

Because you know a lot now, but you don’t know the whole truth, most of all how I feel, so this is for you. Alina, my daughter, the light of my life.

This is my official apology letter to you in the hopes that you may understand why certain things happened, and maybe you will find it in yourself to forgive me. I don’t expect it, I don’t have the right to want anything from you, but I would like for you to realize that I love you. I have loved you since the day you were born and my devotion to you hasn’t changed. You are my daughter, my child, all that is left of Gwen, your mother, and I can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt, so I did the one thing I thought was right to do. I was wrong. 

Now, no excuse in the world would make this mistake okay, but I was desperate and I hope that counts for something because a child like you is special and I needed someone to help you. You wouldn’t have been happy here. You wouldn’t have fit in. I thought they could help you, raise you, and offer more than I ever could. By not doing enough research I caused more damage than good and I am so incredibly sorry for that. I will carry this guilt with me always and far beyond the grave. I will repent for that sin until I’m ashes in the pits of hell. God won’t forgive me. He won’t have mercy. And I don’t want him to because frankly, I do not deserve it.

The truth is, your mother and I weren’t sure you would survive. When the stone hit her, we weren’t sure what the force would do to you once you were born. Your mother considered termination and I agreed, but we never went through with it because one look at that ultrasound and your heartbeat and we knew that we wanted to try. 

The reality stone is something a normal scientist like me couldn’t possibly research. I tried, but I didn’t get the answers I needed long after you were born and your mother died. It was Odin of Asgard, I believe, who sent some Asgardians down to earth to tell me about the stone. They wanted to take you, but I wouldn’t let them, so I made a pact. If I could control you and you didn’t pose a threat later, once you were older, I could keep you. If you became a danger though, they would have taken you from me and brought you to Asgard where they would have done unspeakable things to you, probably. You know all of this now, I believe because you wouldn’t be here watching this video if you didn’t somehow figure it out on your own. 

All I ever wanted was to protect you. You were all I had left of your mother, but the older you got, the stronger your powers grew and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could contain the storm inside of you. I didn’t understand what was happening and neither did you, although your body was in full control of your actions even when you were a child, and you never panicked about what was happening the way I did. Perhaps you knew, deep down, who you truly are so you weren’t scared. God knows I was scared.

So when I found that ad, I figured it would be best for you to be with children who were like you. And once you knew how to control yourself, I thought you’d be able to come back to me. You weren’t happy being restrained, I could tell, and Asgard would have come sooner or later because your powers broke our truce. That’s why I gave you away. The offer sounded so lucrative, I thought it was going to be paradise on earth for you, and then everything would turn out exactly the way your mother intended it. With you happy and healthy and content with yourself. I never thought this would happen. I never thought it was Hydra who I gave you to and what they would do to you once they had you. I tried to get you out when I figured it out, but by the time I got to them, they found me first and you were long gone, safe and sound with the Avengers. They gave you the life I originally planned for you and I owe Tony Stark and Nick Fury plenty for that. 

I didn’t mean to sell you out to Hydra. They tortured me, they gave me drugs and in my delirious state, I had no control over what truths came tumbling out of my mouth. I was weak and lacked self-control, so it is kind of my fault, but I never meant to hurt you. That much you have to believe. I didn’t do this to save my own ass; I wanted to save yours, but I failed.

I will repent for that for all eternity, and I will burn in hell for that. I deserve to be punished for what I did. I sold you out twice, abandoned you twice, and screwed up more times than I can count. I’m so sorry for how badly I ruined your life and the trauma you had to suffer because of me. You never deserved any of it. 

Now, you’re probably wondering why Thor never told you. I doubt he knew about his father’s knowledge, and he might not even have felt it. Your powers are unique and none of Tony Stark’s DNA tests could match up to the markers that the reality stone left in your blood. It prevented you from finding out too soon, but maybe you should have. Maybe I should have come to you right away instead of Stark, maybe things would have turned out differently. I’d surely still be alive. 

What’s most important though, you’re not a monster. The stone was never meant to destroy, it was meant to keep the universe alive and protect it from possible threats. That’s what it did to you. It became part of you to protect you. Of course, you would have become a hero sooner or later. I want you to understand that your powers are fragile though, and controlling them is going to be a chore. They’re stronger than you realize, and they will continue growing until the day you eventually die. I am telling you this so you can be prepared for the future. One day, your powers will become the most important instrument in protecting the planet and the universe as we know it, and when that day comes, you need to be prepared. 

Hydra wants your blood for a reason. They could do great things with it, tear the world down one by one and cause the universe to collapse, even. I just hope that by the time you find this, that is taken care of. Now you just have to wait for the threats destiny will throw your way in the future because bad things are going to come for you and you have to be prepared when they do because your powers automatically made you the hope of an entire nation the day you were born. As an Avenger or on your own, it doesn’t matter. You were born for a reason. The stone chose you for a reason, and your mother didn’t die for nothing. I know it. I can feel it. There is something about you, Alina… you were born to become a savior. Make it worthwhile. Do it for your mother and do it for me now. 

Now there is a letter in the box you’re holding. Your mother wrote it while she was pregnant with you. I chose to leave it for you because she addressed it to you and you deserve to get a piece of the woman who made and bore you. You deserve to get to know her. She loved you and that letter proves just how much. Read it. Find closure. Move on. There is no reason to cry for her or me or even for yourself. Things are going to be just fine. You’re the strongest person, after all. You’ve made it this far, the rest will be easy-going. And I hope you will eventually find the kind of love your mother and I had for each other, and that you’ll move on and be happy with your own little family. 

The rest of the documents in the box are for you to figure out. I left you as much as I possibly could of your childhood, but there is also something that will secure your future, I hope. I made sure you were taken care of in case my death would happen too soon, and I figure it must have, so you deserve to have this. You deserve to close this chapter and move on. 

Oh, and, before I forget, if you do decide to bury me or have a funeral in my name, make it small and preferably catholic. But don’t spend too much money on me, I don’t deserve it. Keep the eulogy short, maybe read a poem or a psalm. I just want you to move on more than I want myself to pass on to the afterlife. I know I’m going to hell, there’s no sugarcoating it, so make it fast. I know you must want it as badly as I do. Do what you gotta do. It’s your life now, take that opportunity and be a better person than I could ever be. 

I love you, Alina. Forever and always. Goodbye.

The screen turned black, and the sound cut off. Anton’s face was gone and with it, he was. Eliza’s mind was blank. She stared at the empty tv, holding the red envelope in her hands. A letter from her mother, he had said. It was her last living memory of her. She didn’t feel anything. The letter weighed heavy and she was sure there were tears on her cheeks, but the rest of her body was numb. 

Next to her, Matt took off his glasses. He ran a hand over his face, pausing at his reddened eyes. He rubbed them, brushing away the access tears that had slipped from the corners of them. But she was too tense to even think about crying. It was emotional, of course, but for what? She felt no smarter than before, and all it did was confuse her further. She hated the place her mind was in, so fragile and messy, but she couldn’t claw her way out of the prison she kept herself locked in. It was a never-ending cycle. 

He squeezed her thigh. “You okay?” he asked, his voice slightly raspy from the release of emotions. 

Eliza looked down at the letter, then back at the TV. “I don’t want to read it,” she said. 

He nodded. “Okay, that’s alright.”

“I really don’t.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t understand why he did that. He should have just kept it to himself. What does it matter now, anyway? She’s dead. So I won’t read it.”

She was trying to convince herself. The truth was, she wanted to read it, but she wasn’t sure how to deal with the feelings that came up in the process. She wasn’t even sure what she was feeling at that moment. Her soul was a broken mess. She wished she could unsee the video and pretend it never existed, but the picture had flashed across her eyes and she was forced to remember every last detail of her father’s heartfelt speech now, even though she wanted to do anything but that. 

“You want me to store it away?” Matt asked, offering his hand. 

She shrugged, slowly lowering the envelope down into his palm. 

“I’ll take good care of it.”

“I don’t care,” she said. Her fists balled when she stood up. “I also don’t care about anything else that's in here. I don’t care about what he said or did, I really don’t. I don’t care about him. I don’t care that he died or that I’m going to do a stupid fucking funeral for him exactly the way he wants to just to send him off to hell. Because he’s right, he is going. Or maybe he’s not, who knows what God is capable of? He surely seems to forgive others more than he’s willing to forgive me or- or you or anyone else who’s been hurt by other people. I don’t care, Matt. It doesn’t fucking matter to me because in the end, they’re both still dead and no message in the world is gonna make it go away!”

She slammed the box down on the living room table and with her force, the floor broke through. The pictures and envelopes were sent flying to the floor, covering the carpet in a trail of her past. 

Eliza pressed a hand over her mouth, turning her head away from the mess. She wanted nothing more than to flip the table too. If it hadn’t been there, the box wouldn’t have broken through. Now she had nothing to put the papers back into. 

He caught her wildly flailing hands, rising to his feet so he could use the height difference to his advantage. “How about we take a breath first?” he said. 

“I don’t want to take a breath,” she said.

“Please, sweetheart. Just try to calm down and process what you just saw. You can’t pretend it doesn’t affect you. I know you better than that.”

She tore herself from his grasp. “I’m fine, Matthew.”

Matthew. She used his name when she was either drowning in the ecstasy of an orgasm or when she was distant, upset, or lecturing. She didn’t use his full name when she spoke to him casually as a girlfriend would speak to her partner. It was a warning sign that went completely over her head and he sighed all knowingly. 

“You’re not.”

“No, I am. It’s just a few useless documents. The letter is also useless. Like, what would it change if I opened it and it’s the contract to this godforsaken apartment? What could inheriting debt possibly bring me? Closure? I don’t fucking think so.”

She tore the white envelope open. 

“Whatever this is, it won’t change that he’s dead. I don’t want to be burdened by this pathetic excuse of a legacy he’s left me. It won’t help. It’s too late for him to help. My life’s fucked up already.” 

She pulled out the document, unfolding it. Her words faded into oblivion. Eliza skimmed over the text, which was enough to get the most important key points from what she could now tell was a bank statement. She figured she would inherit debt. It only made sense. Anton had been on the run for most of his life. He lost his job after he fled. There were no riches to collect. She was just waiting for the moment she could shove her finger in Matt’s face and tell him, ‘I told you so’ because the expression on his face told her he didn’t agree with her thought process. 

The moment never came.

Matt raised his eyebrows, challenging, “And?”

Her heartbeat jumped. Her fingers clenched around the paper, causing it to dent and crinkle under the pressure. 

“Okay,” she hummed, her voice monotone, and she pressed her lips tightly together until they formed a thin line. 

Sliding the paper back into the envelope, she made sure to reattach the glue and smoothen out all the rough edges. Matt was still frowning expectantly at her. Her heart beat out of her chest and not in a way he would have considered normal or healthy. 

She cleared her throat. Her head was spinning. The numbness only got worse, and so did the confusion. Though as she thought about what she saw, heard, and read, she started to see why Anton did what he did. Deep down, she understood and she finally felt as if all the pieces finally fell into place. The puzzle was close to being finished and her life was close to being complete. The worst was over. Eliza made it. Closure was the last step toward redemption, and this was all the closure she could have asked for. It was right there for her to grasp, and pushing the inevitable away would only hurt her further. If she kept living in denial, she would never be able to escape this endless cycle she was trapped in. 

“What is it?” Matt asked. “You know, I can’t read your mind. That exceeds my abilities. I’m not superhuman.”

“I did not inherit debt,” she stated. Her mouth suddenly felt dry and her stomach churned.

What. The. Fuck.

The reality started to seep into her bones, the truth replaying in her mind over and over again, and she began to process all the different sensations that she had just been met with. 

Shit.

“Then what’s in that envelope?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Eliza.”

He never used her name, or he did so only when he had to bring a serious point across or pressure her to give him answers. She hated hearing her name, even though it sounded like honey from his lips. Still, the intensity in his voice left no space for arguing. She would have if she hadn’t been so tired.

She caved in with a heavy, shaky sigh that left her lip quivering and forced to bite on it to stop it from breaking her words in two. “My father — Anton had a secret bank account,” she said. “With a balance of nine-hundred-thousand Dollars. Which are now mine. I have nine-hundred-thousand Dollars in a bank account at National Bank. His account is my account now. My father saved almost a million Dollars and now I have almost a million dollars in an account that is now written under my name. I own nine-hundred-thousand Dollars.” 

His eyes bulged out of his head. One of his hands came up to rest on his forehead, the other on his hip. “Nine-hundred-thousand Dollars,” he repeated.

“Yep.”

“You- you own that now. Nine-hundred-thousand Dollars.”

“Mh-Hm.”

“And the deceased signed off on the transfer.”

She nodded. The number danced in circles around her head and she forgot how to speak proper English.

“Fuck.” She didn’t mishear her own voice, the word came out in perfect Russian. Her brain was so fried, it mixed up all the languages; she wouldn’t have been surprised to hear herself speak French next. She sure as hell was thinking it already.

Matt seemed to struggle with the same issue. “Even I know what that means,” he said.

He couldn’t believe what he heard. His father had left him quite a large sum of money after he died, but it only managed to get him through college. It had been nowhere near as high as the amount Eliza’s father left her. It was the kind of money Foggy dreamed of getting, and he couldn’t deny that it sounded good. 

“So, basically,” he said, “you’re rich.”

“We’re rich.” 

“Holy-“ he bit down on his bottom lip. “Eliza, what the fuck? This is…”

“Crazy? Fucked up? Delusional?”

“Amazing.” 

“Wait, what?” 

“You know what you can do with that much money?” Matt began to beam. “You’ve got so many opportunities now.”

Heat rose to her cheeks and she dropped down on the couch. “I think I’m having a stroke,” she said. “Or- or a heart attack or something.”

He placed the back of his hand against her forehead. “I don’t think so,” he said.

“Maybe I’ve got a brain tumor.”

“Well, on the bright side, if you did, you could afford the surgery now.”

She stared at him for a moment before her face cracked up and she burst out laughing. He joined in only hesitantly. The sound was too high to have been serious laughter. He soon realized why she sounded the way she did. The next sound that left her mouth sounded like a mix between a sob and a laugh, and when she pressed her hand in front of her mouth, he knew. 

“Oh, God,” she whimpered. 

Matt knelt before her. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I know this is a lot to process. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have made that joke. I was trying to lighten the mood. That was a mistake, I’m sorry.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in the crook of it, the tears coming in uncontrollable waves as her laughter turned into distinctive sobs that sounded muffled through the fabric of his jacket. He hugged her, running his hands over her back and her hair, trying to calm her in the only way he knew how to. She melted even further into his touch, letting down all of her defenses and bearing herself completely. 

Eliza shuddered when he pulled back, holding her head steady with both of his hands and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “How about we go home?” he suggested. “Today’s been a lot. I think a cup of tea and some rest could do you some good. Hm, does that sound okay?”

She sniffled. “Okay,” her voice wavered. Wiping the smeared mascara with her hands, she sucked some of the leftover snot back up her nose and took the hand he offered her to get up. 

Matt collected the mess on the floor, flipping the lid of the box over in one swift motion, and he put it on the broken bottom of the carton. It offered a new floor for the contents to rest in. He clenched it under his right arm, the other coming to wrap around her shoulders. 

“C’mon, baby, let’s go,” he said. 

She eyed the apartment once more before the pair stepped out into the evening air, closing and locking the door behind them. The already empty space was even emptier now, and she took all the memories that were left of who she had once been with her. It was all she had, all her parents had left her, and even as Matt carried it under his arm, Eliza was sure she could feel the heavy weight as if it was resting on her shoulders. 

On the drive home, she faded in and out of consciousness, lying on Matt’s lap like the lost little puppy that she was. She felt stripped of her dignity and all that she once knew. She had curled in on herself, holding tightly onto his pant leg. The limousine shook with every pothole, but he held her through them, and with his nails scratching at her scalp, she allowed her eyes to flutter shut and rest for just a moment. 

In between naps, she caught a conversation that could have also been a dream. 

“How is she?” Happy asked from the driver’s seat, his eyes fixated on Matt in the rearview mirror. 

The man sighed, stroking some of her hair out of her face. “Emotionally exhausted,” he told him. 

“I think I’ve never seen her fall asleep this fast.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

“You think she’s gonna be okay?”

“She’s not alone, Happy,” he said, “so yes, she is gonna be okay. I’m not leaving her. And I think I’m the only person she needs right now, not some smart advice from other people trying to tell her what to do. With that I don’t just mean you, I mean everyone she’s turned to the past couple of weeks. I get it. Losing loved ones is… it’s cruel and it sometimes plays tricks on your mind that make you feel all kinds of helpless.”

“Who died?”

“My father.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, it happened when I was a kid. I’ve, uh, learned to accept it. But that’s why I understand how she’s feeling, so I’m the only one who truly gets her. All of her, not just the parts she shows to everyone else. I’ve seen deeper than that, so she trusts me, and I know it might not seem like it now, but she’s going to be fine. As long as I’m here,” Matt looked down at her, “No one can hurt her.”

Happy nodded, a small smile displaying on his face. “Thank you,” he said. “She needed someone like you.”

“Yeah…” he chuckled. “Destiny works in funny ways, doesn’t it? ‘Cause I needed someone like her too.”

As soon as the door to his apartment complex had fallen shut, Matt folded his cane, wrapped it around his wrist, and picked a very tired and confused Eliza up into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder, hands clung to his neck, and promptly dozed off again.

“There you go.” He put her down on the bed, draping the blanket over her body. She rolled on her side, whining when he distanced himself. “Go back to sleep, baby,” he said. 

“No. Where are you going?” she asked. 

He pressed a kiss to her temple. “Making some tea and getting you a change of clothes. I’ll be right back.”

“Don’t leave me.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m not leaving. I promise.”

She still ignored his plea for her to go back to sleep and sat up against the headboard instead, rubbing her dry and tired eyes. 

“You can still rest a little,” he tried to convince her again, “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“I’m not tired anymore,” she said. 

“You sure?” Matt chuckled when she suppressed a yawn. 

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Alright, well, I’m still gonna make some tea and get you a change of clothes.”

“Can I take a shower first?”

“Sure.” He dropped his jacket on the armchair across the bed. “I’ll leave one of my shirts on the sink.”

Nodding, Eliza dragged herself out of the comfort of the warm sheets, her dress now wrinkly and completely bunched up. She slipped her hands under the hem and pulled the silk off her body. The cold in the room caused her nipples to harden. 

Matt sucked in a silent sharp breath, turning away from her half-naked frame. He could smell every nuance of the sweat on her skin, the dried tears, and her mascara. He could hear the hairs on her arms stand up with the sudden change in the air’s temperature. It was wrong to think of all of these sinful things when she had suffered only a couple of minutes ago, tired from crying. He felt guilty for wanting to kiss her, back her against the bed, and make love to every inch of her body. The taste of her skin lingered on his tongue even though she was far out of reach. 

She seemed to pick up on his sudden interest in the wall next to him. Slowly but steadily she walked up to him, the bedroom was still dark but with the curtains open the light streaming in from outside painted the walls in different hues of green and blue as another ad passed over the screen. She had grown to love the billboard and the different colors. Especially Matt seemed to only be getting prettier with each time he stood in the limelight for the sole reason he got his apartment at a discount. She didn’t mind. 

He flinched when her hands came to suddenly trace over his clothed back. She kissed his shoulder blades, her touch wandering until she reached the hem. His skin was hot under the thin fabric of his shirt. With every scratch of her nails over his abdomen, his abs tensed and he shivered some more, a thrill traveling down his spine. 

His shirt landed on the floor. The now green neon danced over his scars, turning them golden. Stars seemed to dance around the outline and she pressed her lips to the one reaching across his shoulder blade, tasting heaven and the universe on her tongue. 

He held her hands in the front, pressed tightly over his heart, both of them. It thudded wildly but in a steady rhythm, one she was most familiar with. Blood rushed under his skin, the flush she had grown to love spreading throughout the upper half of his body. 

Eliza glided her hands down his torso until she reached the buckle of his belt. His chest caved as he sucked in a sharp breath. “What are you doing?” he asked, and it was even sexier how his voice had begun to turn hoarse and breathy just from a few kisses and mindless touches along his skin. He was so sensitive, so beautiful, and she would never tire of making him feel appreciated in the way he deserved. 

But not tonight. 

He might have found her naked presence arousing, but it wasn’t what he needed. It wasn’t what either of them needed. 

“Shh,” she only murmured back at him, undoing his belt and tearing it off with the rest of his pants in one go. 

He stepped out of them, leaving him in his underwear. That was the point when he decided to turn her around, his arms around her waist and he held her close to him as his lips traveled home to taste the paradise in hers. She caressed his cheek during the kiss, brushing over the stubble that was slowly growing into a beard, and she moved on to his hair and the faintest ones on his chest that he hadn’t once touched. 

His index finger traveled along her spine until he reached her ass. She was still wearing panties. He pulled at the waistband, snapping it against her skin. She got the hint, easily shimmying the fabric down her legs. It pooled on the floor among his clothes. 

The kiss grew sloppier, faster, and more desperate. He guided her face against his with a tight grip on her hair and she let him shove his tongue down her throat. The other hand naturally went around her throat, holding her right where she was, leaving no space for an escape. He worshiped at her feet every day and she had never felt so at home with another person as she did with him. 

She stroked over the dark body hair that adorned his chest. “Take a shower with me,” she said, exchanging a breath with him. He refused to break the kiss, nodding only faintly as he kept exploring the depths of her mouth. 

They didn’t need sex. They needed intimacy and mindless touches, yes, but not sex. Although his need had first presented as such a carnal instinct, he soon realized that what she offered him was much better than what the mess in his head dictated. 

He stepped forward, causing her to step back. They continued that dance until her back hit the bathroom door. She quickly made use of the handle, opened it, and stepped inside. The cold tiles caused goosebumps to erupt on her skin, his body being the only source of heat in the coldness of the bathroom. 

She wanted to touch him desperately, her body yearned for him and her mind needed the distraction his seemingly endless love seemed to offer her every time he proved his devotion by using his hands to caress her skin in an attentive way only he knew how. 

He tilted her chin up with his index finger. She met his brown eyes. They appeared almost black in the now yellow ceiling light, but the color of the tiles lulled the atmosphere into a soft blue. It was an even more sensual color, drenching them in it as if they were underwater. 

Eliza sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. The sight was something she wanted to imprint into her brain. If it were up to her, she would force him to stand like this more often. 

He listened to her heartbeat and compared it to the usual rhythm it followed. Something was different — the past few days had taken a toll on her and she wanted nothing more than to lose control in the arms of the one person she could trust she was safest with.

Things were going to get hard again, and she was going to cry more before the worst would finally be over and laid to rest. The past had to be buried before she could move on. It was going to hurt, but until then he could help her forget the weight of her feelings and give her something to look forward to. He could shut her head off for just a moment, and he could show her how deeply she was loved by him. She wasn’t alone.

He leaned down to kiss her softly. A gentle nature took over him, the protector, the man that wanted to please the woman he loved. 

This time, when she said his name, he liked the tune better. At least now she was entirely his, not bothered by her demons.

The warm water trickled down their bodies and pearled off their skin. He caught the droplets with his finger, playing with the feeling of the different sensations on the familiar texture of her skin. The old waterlines made the air taste slightly metallic and rusty, and the water did the same but mixed with her distinctive scent and the way her body felt against his ever-sensitive skin, he didn’t mind. He didn’t want to rush. 

It sounded like rain when the water hit the shower tiles. That mixed with her heartbeat, his ears finally found silence, and with the overstimulation fend off for a while, he allowed himself to relax. The world hardly ever got quiet.

With a sigh, he lowered his head and dropped it on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his neck, one hand in his hair and she pressed him closer. He hugged her tight to him and she hugged him back, not an inch of space left between them. The water offered a protective shield as they drowned in each other. 

“Can you keep the water on?” he asked when he felt her reach for the wall. 

“I’m just going to wash your hair if that’s okay,” she said. 

He nodded. 

With gentle fingers, she massaged the shampoo into his brown locks. He closed his eyes. The tension in his muscles eased up. For once, he wasn’t plagued with thoughts and overwhelming noise. He could barely feel the weird wrinkly texture of his fingers that he hated or smell the ghastly chili his neighbors had for dinner. He only heard, felt, and smelled her. 

Eventually, she moved on to her own hair. He stood leaning against the wall. Her movements made no sounds, but her heart did. He focused on that. The water continued pattering down on the tiles until it went cold, and even though they had been in there for at least an hour, he still winced when she turned off the water and the soothing sound disappeared. 

He stayed close to her even as she stood in front of the mirror, brushing through her hair. Or when she cleaned her face and applied moisturizer. He was afraid that if he stepped out of their bubble, New York would burst his eardrums. No, he was sure that would happen. If he left the bedroom, he would feel the need to put the suit on and leave because someone out there needed help. Someone out there was waiting for the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen to come and save them. Every night, it was the same. He no longer had an excuse not to follow through on his promise to protect the city. Eliza was okay, she didn’t really need him. He needed her. He needed to hold her and be by her side, but the guilt was stronger. His need to be out there was greater than giving into temptation, but God was he tired. He was tired of hearing bad things happen to good people and not being able to stop everything that was wrong with the world, so even being Daredevil grew into a tiring task. 

She would come with him if he told her, and she was the one who needed to rest the most. Or perhaps she needed to be out there and fight, he wasn’t really sure. His head was as much of a mess as hers was. All of his thoughts were sorted in the wrong drawers and eventually, they all scattered to the floor and he could no longer find the ones that were the most crucial. 

Matt didn’t realize he was fisting her shirt until her hand placed gently over his, brushing over his knuckles. “You should go,” she said to him. “Daredevil should go.”

His head perked up, lips parting in unspoken words of denial. She knew him better than that already. 

“I can’t, not tonight. I have to… you should go.”

She managed to unclench his fist from her shirt, turning around to face him. Eliza brushed a wet strand of hair from his face, noticing how he leaned into her touch as if he was in pure agony. 

“I know you gave me that suit for a reason,” she continued, “but I realized that there is something else I need to get out of my system first. I can’t be that scared, clueless little girl anymore.”

“You’re gonna read the letter,” he said, although she barely heard him with how quietly he spoke. 

She nodded her head along slowly. “I have to,” she said. 

“And you wouldn’t be mad if I left?”

“No, baby, I wouldn’t.”

Under his breath, Matt’s lips formed a silent curse. Then, he finally opened his eyes again. They turned up at the ceiling first, then traveled back down to where he could hear her breathing against his chest. 

“I don’t deserve you,” he said. 

She met his lips halfway, “Nonsense.”

The kiss lasted no longer than a few seconds, but they were enough to steal his breath away. “No, really, I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’ll thank God every single day for this - for you.”

“I love you,” said Eliza. She stroked through his hair. “And you are deserving of my love, Matthew. I promise you that.”

He repeated the same action, though his hand soon glided down to brush over the side of her face, touching over the faint smile that rested on her lips and imagining what she looked like amid the remaining shower heat with her hair all wet and her eyes brighter than the galaxy. His knuckles graced her rosy cheeks. “And you are deserving of mine, sweetheart,” and around her neck, he felt her pulse as he said, “I promise you that.”

She could only kiss him then, unsure if there were even words to describe how she felt. 

The loneliness that came with the slamming of the rooftop access door that night was filled with dread rather than relief. It was the first night she hated the privacy she craved. She wasn’t sure what would have happened if she asked him to stay, but she would have felt suffocated nonetheless. This was something that she needed to do alone. 

Her lungs filled with air, puffing her chest, and she released it all in one big exhale before she slowly tore open the red envelope that held the letter from her late mother. 

One last step toward closure and she would be done. Reading this letter, holding a funeral for her father and she could close the final chapter of her story for good. It was time to enter the epilogue. She usually hated literature metaphors, but nothing seemed to match up to what happened more. 

My dearest daughter,

Where to start? Today, I found out that you are going to be a girl. I’ve been waiting for this moment anxiously for months, but the doctor told me that you’re still a healthy baby girl and that I might actually make it to term. I saw the good news as a better sign than ever to start this letter because I don’t know where we’ll be in two months' time. I wanted to leave you something in case something might happen to me before you’re old enough to remember me.

I want you to know that from the day I found out I was pregnant, you’ve stolen my heart. I love you unconditionally like a mother would love her child. I would do anything for you, even now, and you’re not even born yet. From the day I first heard your heartbeat, I knew I could never tire of hearing it. 

Your father is an amazing man. He’s the man I chose to love, marry, and be with for the rest of my life. And I’m sure he’s going to make a great father someday. He got more excited than I did when we found out we were having a girl, and that said something. Deep down, he’s always wanted to be a father, and I’m glad I could give that to him. So even if something happens to me in the future, I know your father will always have your back. He will always be by your side and take care of you when I no longer can. He’s a dedicated man and he loves deeply, so he is going to love you in a way that exceeds all expectations. I know he already does. 

If you are anything like your father, you’re going to turn out just fine.

The creaky wooden table bucked at the force of the heavy pile of paper hitting it. The little girl on the top was barely a year old. Next to the pile, a check landed. 

Father Lantom looked up from his chair, meeting her eyes. Dark circles adorned them, but she tried to cover them with concealer. He switched between the set of photos and Eliza herself, trying to make sense of her silence. 

“My father died,” she stated eventually. 

He nodded slowly. If it had been his intuition during Sunday Mass or just his general understanding of humanity that told him something was amiss, it didn’t matter. 

“Listen,” Eliza pulled the wooden chair back, “I have no idea how God works, but if he is as forgiving as you make him seem, he’ll have a breath or two left for my father. He might not have been the best, but he deserves to be laid to rest and move on. I know I do. So I need you to hold a symbolic funeral in his name. There is no body, don’t ask me why, but I’ve got money here,” she said and lifted the check, “and I’ve got some memories. I didn’t know him that well, but it should make it easier to humanize him. Can you… would you mind doing this for me, father? Just this once. Do me a favor.”

He hummed as he took the pictures into his hands. “A lost soul deserves to find peace in death the same way your or mine soul would,” he told her. 

She followed his movements with her eyes. “Is that a yes?”

“That depends,” the Father smiled at her, “Are you willing to tell me what I need to know in order to make it happen?”

At his words, she began to gnaw at her bottom lip. His eyes seemed to burn holes through her skin. “Okay,” eventually, she caved in. 

One step closer to closure. One step closer and she could move on. It kept her motivated to push forward. The thought alone was excruciating, but Matt was right, if she wanted her father’s soul to move on, she had no choice but to let Father Lantom do whatever Catholics had to do in the name of their faith. She was willing to do it as long as her story could finally come to an end and she could open a new page in a new book, finally. It was what her father would have wanted for her, and especially her mother, too. 

I need you to know that a couple of months ago, there was an accident. Your father and I experimented with forces we couldn’t understand, and I made the mistake of following my curiosity to the point it hurt both of us. 

The reality stone is an elemental crystal that has not yet been researched enough. Hardly anyone knows it exists, as do the other five infinity stones. You’re too young to understand, and you will be for a while, but when you do, you need to understand that what happened to us was an explosion of epic proportions that should have killed me and you with it the second it happened. But I woke up and your father was there, and he told me that you were okay. That your heart was still beating. 

I wasn’t sure what happened, so we started to run tests. No doctor in the world could have understood what was happening, so we used the lab - or what was left of our research lab, anyway, to test my blood. The stone was gone, somehow I must have absorbed it, we’re still not sure how it happened. And then we started fearing what it might do to you. I thought it would kill you slowly and that I would lose you before I even got the chance to meet you, and at seven months, that fear is still pretty much present. But there is a fear that’s stronger now. 

I don’t think I’m going to make it out. You survived the blast because somehow, your body absorbed the power. I don’t know how I know it, the tests can only do so much and you’re still inside of me so that makes it almost impossible to safely study your health without a doctor present, and he says you’re fine. I can feel that you’re fine. But I’m starting to realize that I’m not fine, and it’s not you. It’s the blast of the stone that weakened me. The only reason I’m alive right now is because of you. I have this looming feeling deep down that the euphoria will be short-lived. I’ve got a taste of knowledge when the stone hit me, and a better view of things now that I’ve come to accept what happened.

I know you are going to survive, baby, and be the strongest child anyone has ever met, but I’ve got the feeling that I won’t be there to be with you. Your father will be, he’s fine and he’s going to be great, I know it, but I won’t be there. You’re going to have to rely on your father from the day you’ll be set into this world, and I am so sorry for being so reckless and putting us both in danger just because I couldn’t let this good old scientist’s curiosity be. 

I want you to hold onto your father and he will hold onto you. I pray to a God I don’t believe in that he makes sure you two will stick together until you’re old enough to make your own decisions, and that you won’t get sick, too. But call it a mother’s intuition; I get the feeling you’ve survived for a reason, and your body and mind are already so strong, the doctor is amazed at how fast you’re developing. I can’t help but be hopeful when thinking about your future. Whatever the stone did, it chose you to survive, and you’re going to do great things in life. 

I made it my life’s purpose to find knowledge and set an example for future generations with the work I do. Your father and I make a perfect team. We did a lot of research before the accident and we’re trying to research more about the force that knocked me out now. It’s insane how versatile our world is, how fragile reality can be, and how manipulative our DNA actually is. Maybe you’ll be interested in science one day too, and then you’ll be just like me. I kind of hope you’ll get my face and your father’s intelligence — it’s always been my dream to have someone continue our legacy, but in the end, it’s your choice what you want to be when you’re older. 

Hell, who knows, maybe you’ll turn out to be a genius that’s really into engineering like Howard Stark. Or you’ll find an interest in criminal justice. Someone who likes to help people. Someone who wants to do good. Maybe you’ll turn into a hero. Maybe you’ll turn into a doctor or a lawyer and make a shit-ton of money. You’ve got the whole world at your feet and you can be whoever you want. Isn’t that great? I hope your father doesn’t forget to teach you how important it is to know that you have all the possibilities in the world to be whoever you want to be, and whoever you feel you are supposed to be. 

Follow your heart, always. It’s ancient advice that even your great-great-grandmother started handing down the girls in our family. Be your own person. Stand up for what you think is right, even if it might seem terrifying. Don’t just do it for me, do it for yourself. Be yourself because that’s the only right person you could ever be. 

The heels of her boots crushed the gravel on the asphalt, pushing it into the hot ground. The sun had regained some of her strength and shone down on the streets of New York with new intensity.

The ruins outside of the building in Hell’s Kitchen seemed all too familiar. Yellow tape was stretched around it, and most of the heavy debris was now cleaned up because it was blocking the sidewalk, but the inside was still torn to shreds like the day she had left it. 

Eliza stepped over one of the bricks blocking the entrance - what had once been a door was merely a hole in the wall anymore, covered by a makeshift sheet of plastic to hide the interior from curious eyes. The sign hung long, the lights out. It was noon then, not the usual time for people to go to bars other than the occasional alcoholic. She had been like that once. She had shared a drink or two in the same bar that was now destroyed because of her. 

She cleared her throat through the smoke. The woman in question stood behind the counter, cleaning some of the remaining liquor bottles. She wondered if she did that every night. 

Josie barely had any money. She kept the doors to her bar open with the help of Matt and Foggy and the little money she made. She had been in serious debt long before, and ever since the bomb went off all those weeks ago, nothing changed from the mangled state of the establishment. 

Guilt started to eat at her heart like a zombie searching for food. She cleared her throat again, this time to catch the woman’s attention. 

“We’re closed!” Josie called out. Her voice sounded weak and sleep-deprived. “Or destroyed or whatever. We’re not selling any drinks until further notice so get fucked!”

“Josie,” said Eliza. 

She stood guilty between the hole in the wall and the mess that spread through the bar’s inside. Vividly, she remembered covering behind the counter as the shots rang out. Foggy’s bleeding head flashed across her inner eye, and the glass in Matt’s shoulder she had to pull out. Not long after, their relationship ended for the first time, and then everything went to shit. It hadn’t been the explosion; everything that happened after caused her life to drastically go to hell. 

She wiped her sweaty hands. The woman turned around, her face blank, and she dropped the Bourbon she had been cleaning seconds before. She acknowledged her presence with a roll of her eyes. “You’re not welcome here,” she said. 

“I know you hate me right now,” Eliza tried again. 

Josie interrupted her. “You’re damn right I do! And I don’t owe you a second of my time, so I suggest you get that pretty little spoiled ass back where it came from before I call the cops. This place might be ruined but it’s still my bar and I don’t want you trespassing here.”

The words stung as if she wasn’t right to hate her. 

“Listen, I know it’s my fault that shit went down. It’s my fault this place is a mess. I’m sorry that Matt and Foggy even took me here, but… Josie, please,” she said. “I want to make what I screwed up right again.”

She took the shotgun off the wall. If she hadn’t said it, her expression wouldn’t have given away how she was feeling about her. 

Eliza lifted her arms. “I won’t stay for long. I just got you this-” she placed the slip of paper on the dusty counter, “It should cover all the rebuilding costs and a little extra to settle your debt and reopen. I’ve added the number of a great company that specializes in rebuilding places after a disaster. Say you’re a friend of mine and they’ll be here by the end of the week, and done in two.”

The bottom of the shotgun thudded against the floor. She leaned against it, watching the young woman intently as she placed both the contact card and the check right in her line of sight. She nodded, arms still raised in defense, and retreated. 

“I’m sorry,” she said again, “I really am. I hope things work out for you.”

Josie found herself in a state of shock when she caught the eye of the numbers. It was a large sum of money, and the company she referred her to didn’t look all too cheap. She said it was enough. She took care of everything. And so it happened that she did get an appointment for the end of the week like Eliza predicted, and the construction team was sure to finish the rebuilding of Hell’s Kitchen’s once so infamous bar in two weeks.

Another point on her list of amends to make that she could finally cross off.  

Right now, you’re doing cartwheels, and it makes me smile so brightly because I know there is a fighter within you. You’re strong and you’re going to make it out of this and become the woman I’ve always envisioned my future daughter to be. 

And, for the love of God, when it comes to being curious, try to be just a little less reckless than me. Can you do that for me? Always do right by people, that was what my mother taught me, and put others before you, but when it comes to danger, I have realized, you should stop and think before acting. You can’t always ask for forgiveness, so you have to be cautious. Sometimes, making conscious decisions is more important than making rash ones, even if they would go faster. You have to go through life with a certain genius, and you always have to come prepared. 

“I’m sorry, did you just say you inherited nine-hundred-thousand bucks?” 

It was around lunchtime at the Nelson & Murdock law firm in Hell’s Kitchen. Not that they were following a strict time plan, anyway. 

Matt leaned against the doorframe while Foggy and Karen sat before Eliza in the conference room. The former handed her one of the to-go cups of coffee he picked up and she took it gladly. 

“I believe I said Dollars instead of bucks, but yeah, that’s pretty much the gist of it,” she said. 

“You have that much money in your bank account right now?” Foggy asked again, his eyes wide and his jaw slack as he stared up at her, flabbergasted.

Her lips formed into a thin line. “Yup.”

“And it’s legal?”

“I checked,” Matt cut in. “We went to the bank yesterday. All the papers are in order. I went through them twice. No mistakes were made. The account this money is in now belongs to her,” he said.

“Jesus fucking- oh, my God! You’re rich!”

Karen nudged him with her foot. “Foggy,” she berated him. Turning around with a soft smile, she looked at Eliza. “I’m sorry to hear about your father,” she said to her. “Losing a family member is hard.”

“It’s okay,” she waved her off, “That was weeks ago. What I wanted to tell you is that I learned something in the past couple of days. I learned to make more conscious and thought-out decisions, so I started making amends.”

Even Matt seemed surprised when she unlocked her laptop and turned it around. He knew she wanted to tell Foggy and Karen about the sudden money blessing, but she hadn’t told him what she wanted or had already done with it. 

Eliza smiled shyly. “It’s your account’s bank statement,” she said. “I’ve got it here for you, hold on…” While she scrambled through her bag, Foggy scrolled through the online page.

She had printed the bank statements in Braille the day before when Matt wasn’t home. He hadn’t thought anything of the printer smell in the apartment. He never suspected she would have done anything like this. He frowned rather gently, giving her a small, confused smile when she handed him the papers. 

“Nine-hundred-thousand dollars is a lot of money, and I don’t really need that much. I’ve screwed up a lot in a short amount of time, and I’ve caused even more damage. But I’ve also realized that while I may not be an Avenger anymore, I still have some sort of purpose in this life and that purpose means to help people wherever I can. Whether it be fighting or in real life.” 

Karen slapped a hand in front of her mouth. All the color had faded from Foggy’s skin as he stared at the screen, his hands gripping the edge of the table impossibly tight. It was she who spoke up first. “There are no red numbers,” she whispered. “That has to be a failure in the system or something, I-”

Tracing his fingers over the dots on the paper, Matt tilted his head to the side. There was no failure in the system or a mistake in the numbers. “You paid off our debt,” he stated. He was the only one able to form coherent sentences as he was the most used to keeping cool in unpredictable situations. 

“She paid off-” Foggy stammered; he resembled a broken record with scratches all over the surface. “Eliza- she- you- shit!”

She figured that curse word summed it up pretty well. 

She shrugged. “You’re no longer in debt, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be as soon as the next bills come in, so you better start generating some revenue until then or the money I just put into your account and to pay off your unpaid bills means shit- oh!”

He drew her into a tight hug. Eliza squeaked, wrapping her arms around his neck to save herself from slipping.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Foggy chanted into her ear. “You’re the first rich person to know how to deal with a fuckload of money. You just saved our asses. Oh, I love you so much!” He stiffened, pulling away to grin awkwardly down at her. “But not in a creepy way, of course,” he said. “More in a best friend kind of way, you know. I love you as a friend.”

“Yeah,” she said, “I got it.”

In return, he squeezed her again. “I’m so grateful Matt chose you and not some random girl from a bar who would have never been blessed with her dead father’s money.”

She patted his back. “Thanks?”

“I did not mean that disrespectfully,” he felt the need to add, “Because I am still very sorry for your loss, but you know since he wasn’t daddy of the year, I doubt you’re mad at me for saying that. Are you?” Foggy tilted his head. 

Eliza was quick to chuckle. “It’s fine,” she said. 

“Oh, thank God!”

“Besides, this isn’t the only thing I did…”

Karen perked up. “There’s more?” her breath hitched. “That’s already too much. I know how much debt we were in. You just spent a fortune for us,” she said. “That’s… that was so kind, Eliza. But you shouldn’t have done that. It’s your money. We could have survived, we-”

“You would have, but you don’t have to do this alone. I did it because I felt the need to do some good. And as to me paying for the damage I’ve caused personally… I handed Josie a check that will take care of the reconstruction of the bar, and I’ve got her the contact information for a company that will do it as fast as humanly possible and gets her a discount on my name. So, you’re gonna have your bar back in no time. All’s well that ends well.”

Eliza clenched her fists. She kept her head low, not sure what she would find in the eyes of her friends and her current only family. She had paid back some of the money she owed Happy and then there was the second set of bank statements in Matt’s hands that he was just aimlessly tracing his fingers over, and she couldn’t watch their reactions anymore. She nodded curtly before brushing past and retreating to the small office kitchen. Her cup was almost empty and she needed more caffeine to keep up with the day. 

Footsteps sounded from behind her. Judging by the sound and the length of the stride, she knew who it was even before the shiny tops of his dress shoes came into view next to her own feet. 

The Braille papers landed next to where her palm lay flatly against the surface of the counter. His hand came to trace the loose strand of hair that had slipped from her braid. “You paid all of my bills and two months rent in advance, plus you paid the firm out of its red numbers… you even balanced out my- our bank account, I-” Matt hugged his arms around her from behind, “Thank you so much,” he said with his lips pressed to her ear. “Who knew making my bank account a joint one would lead to more money flooding in instead of you spending it all on books?”

She snickered. “That’s what library cards are for.”

“Library cards,” he chuckled, “Of course, I know.” His lips grazed the spot just below her ear that was sure to leave her shivering. “Still, thank you. You just saved my ass in more ways than one. I can’t even express… I just love you, okay? More than anything,” he told her. 

She let her rest back against his shoulder, allowing him to deepen the hug. Eliza wrapped her arms around his from the front, tracing over his bare forearms from where he had curled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. 

“You’re my life.”

The next kiss, Matt planted against her temple. She leaned in, her heart bouncing in her chest.

“I love you too,” she murmured. 

His lips smacked against her skin again, the sound filling the small space, and then he was gone again. His thumb rubbed over her hip briefly before he turned and took the bank statements with him t discard them in his office. He was clean like that. 

With a giddy smile, she wasn’t proud of, Eliza kept stirring the sugar into her coffee, subconsciously taking out three more to make another batch for her friends. It had become a routine. Although she could afford the expensive brew from the coffee shop down the block now, she preferred the new homeliness more.

She wouldn’t go back to working for Tony even if he came crawling. She liked the quieter office, the people that were like family, and the freedom to do whatever she wanted. Also, it was nice to have Matt around, but that only came in second. She liked working at a law firm for a change, even though they hadn’t dealt with an actual client yet, and she would probably still stay even if they went out of work entirely. The feeling alone made it worthwhile. She didn’t need to be paid to enjoy working somewhere, she realized, at least not at Nelson & Murdock and that showed her that she may have already found her calling.

Being a woman in this world is a big deal. You are going to be born blessed with attributes and gifts that will not only be unique to you but will be a blessing for all those whose lives you will touch. You will encounter lessons and opportunities for growth along the way, but I must tell you, that you are also being born into a world where proving yourself is still something that seems to be needed every single day.

People will try to point you in certain directions, both well-meaning and not, and you will sometimes find yourself torn. There are things I wish I had known better as I was stepping out into the world, and these are things I’ve only learned through some of the hardest times in my life. I hope that in times of vulnerability and doubt, when you may feel the whole world is on your shoulders, you will know you are never alone.

Eliza had never gotten the chance to form a social circle outside of the Avengers, and that made her wary of the people that didn’t seem to fit her picture of the world. Natasha had been her only female friend at the time and even she almost screwed up. 

She and Karen were both very caring people who liked to tread carefully around strangers that might threaten their loved ones or even their personal defense mechanism. They didn’t let just anyone into their lives because they were both severely scared of being abandoned. They kept their hearts locked away, even when it came to friends because their pasts were too much to handle, and they felt as if other people would too easily judge or hate them and they would never find anyone who could understand.

She had been wrong in her analysis of the blonde paralegal from the beginning. She suspected jealousy, but it was more a state of being careful around someone as mysterious as Eliza than it was the pettiness. 

A hand found its way onto her shoulder and she turned, surprised to see Karen standing before her. She didn’t say anything, she simply leaned down and hugged her. It wasn’t long, but it was a strong one. 

“We got off on the wrong foot,” she said. “I misjudged you because I am a deeply mistrusting person when it comes to people I can’t read and I am sorry that it seemed as if I was trying to get rid of you or purposely hurt you. I see the kind of person you are clearly now and I understand why you became an Avenger in the first place. It isn’t because you’re… a mutant or- or have a dark past. You became an Avenger because you’re good at heart.”

Her smile could light up a room and Eliza only then realized how beautiful her eyes were. The brightest blue matched her yellow-blonde hair which often appeared strawberry in the sunlight. With her skin so pale, she could only think of Rapunzel, or a fae levitating in a magically enchanted forest. Now that she saw her clearly, Eliza wondered how she could have ever felt resentment toward her because Karen was pure at heart. Her powers had told her so once, but she ignored them for the sake of giving her the same reservations back, and she had been so focused on Matt that she didn’t realize the world didn’t revolve around him all the time. 

She had been so incredibly foolish, both of them had, and it was time to start over. 

“I have to apologize, I did not make myself seem approachable, at all,” Eliza answered. “I’m not sure what got into me, but I never wanted to be enemies with you, let alone hate you from the beginning. I never did. I just felt the need to defend myself ‘cause that’s what I always do when I feel threatened, so…”

Karen chuckled. “You felt threatened by me?” Her eyebrows furrowed, the smile on her lips remaining. She made it sound like it was so far-fetched to feel threatened by someone as beautiful and graceful as her. She probably perceived herself as worse than she was. 

She was human, after all. 

“It’s stupid, I know.” She turned away, looking back down into the black coffee. “I’ve got this fragile feminity sometimes, even though I claim to be feminist, so I wouldn’t take anything I say seriously. I realize I was foolish now.”

“Is this about Matt?” she asked. 

“Matt? Oh, no! It’s… you’re everything you want in a woman, Karen, and I guess I was the jealous one for idolizing the life you led because compared to mine when we first met, you had it together. It felt easier to hate you than to allow myself to like you and project how unhappy I am with my life onto you. It’s a thing with my brain,” Eliza explained, “And I’m sorry things went the way they did.”

“My life isn’t perfect either,” said Karen. “And there’s nothing you have to feel threatened by. I think I made you feel not welcome, which made matters worse, so I gotta apologize too.”

“Well, thank you. I, uh, appreciate how understanding you are.”

“You’re a kindhearted person, Matt is lucky to have you.”

Searching her face for signs of a lie, she came up with none. 

“Do you love him?” she asked. 

Karen put a hand on her shoulder. “Not in a way that could ever match up to how you both feel for each other,” she answered. “No one can, and that’s the kind of special love you gotta hold onto before it’s too late…”

And here’s more of what I’ve learned, in case I won’t get to teach you this myself:

One, you are you for a reason, and if you were any different, you wouldn’t be you. You are perfect as you are. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s not okay to be you. 

Two, in this world, knowing how to say no is important, and it’s okay to say it. Your life and your choices are your own. It’s going to be hard because some people, especially men, don’t understand what those words mean, but that’s why you need to learn how to fight and stand up for yourself before you can be taken advantage of. It will teach you how to be true to yourself.

Three, it is okay to want to feel safe. Living on the edge isn’t the answer. It’s okay to want that peaceful life everyone keeps talking about. I felt the same, I was always on the run from something I didn’t quite understand before I met your father, and now… I couldn’t imagine anything better now because no matter what happens, I know I have lived a life worth living and I found the peace I searched for. Your safety is always paramount, my little girl. It is your absolute right to feel safe in your home, in your skin, and in your world. Trust your gut, it never lies.

Four, it’s not common knowledge but it’s actually okay not to like yourself sometimes. Some days, you will feel tired, frustrated, and annoyed with yourself, and that’s okay. Allow it to be there, but then stand in front of the mirror, and look at the incredible creature that looks back at you. She will keep you going even when you have no faith in her. I promise.

Five, I want you to understand that it’s okay to be sad and cry. There is no weakness in showing emotion. Crying is how the body processes emotions, so let it happen when it needs to. You will learn empathy and compassion through your own tears. It’s okay to let it out, it will only make you stronger. It makes you human.

Six, it’s okay to wait. We watch those around us discover new paths in life, and if it’s something you one day dream of, don’t rush. A lifetime of ‘settling’ is far worse than waiting for the right partner and the right time to reach you. I swear on my life. Even if you feel as though you’re beyond ready to go down that next path, don’t try to force it. There will be a reason it hasn’t happened yet, and when that right person turns up, I promise you will know it and everything about it will make sense.

Seven, it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to screw up. Failure is only when you don’t learn the lesson. I have made monumentally huge mistakes in my life. I have found myself in situations I couldn’t get out of fast enough, learned the hard way about how to be a responsible adult and burnt relationships that definitely could have been handled in better ways. But those mistakes helped me to learn, helped me to recognize signs, be better prepared, and understand compassion and connection with other people, in a way I couldn’t have without having first got it wrong.

And eight, what I often think about now, is that it’s okay to say goodbye. As you grow through life, people will come and go. You will find friends who will stick for life, but sometimes, you will discover that some people no longer ‘fit’ as well as they used to. And sometimes, people die. Death is unpredictable, but when it happens, you don’t have to hold on. It’s okay to say goodbye to the living and the dead, and it’s okay to move on after you’ve been hurt. It’s okay to close a chapter when it’s finished. There’s no use in holding onto the past when the future has so much more in store for you.

When her mother died, she was just an infant. She had not seen the inside of a funeral since then. She watched some of the most popular ones in tv history and she read about what catholic funerals looked like, but they were all essentially different. Not every person that dies wants to go out the same as everyone else, and that’s understandable. Everyone’s life before death was different and funerals need to be cut out individually. 

She thought she could prepare for the dreaded day by watching the video her father left her on repeat, but in the end, when she sat on the hard wooden bench in Clinton Church with Father Lantom before her, Matt, Foggy, and Happy (the only people who knew the whole story), she felt like a scared little child left in the middle of a crowded room. 

He made true to his promise to keep the service short, but there was still some depth to his words that struck all the chords in her heart to sing an agonizing tune of loss she had never felt to this extent before. Grief and she were old friends, but this was unfamiliar and different and it hurt like hell. 

“Father of all, we pray to you for Anton, and for all those whom we love but see no longer. Grant to them eternal rest. Let light perpetually shine upon them. May his soul and the souls of all the departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.”

It was the classic prayer to speak at a funeral, but even that seemed deeper than it had on paper before. 

“Today’s eulogy is a bit different from how I usually do things,” Father Lantom began after the catholic introduction and everyone had settled back down in their seats. “But the man we lay to rest today, Anton Petrova, was not a usual man. He wasn’t ordinary. So instead of writing a speech on the kind of man he was - Anton was a mysterious human being and not many truly know him, so that would be redundant - today, I have decided I want to start and end this eulogy with a poem. Because while he might not have been a man of many words, his daughter was born with a much more open heart and she likes symbolism as much as the next person. It was his daughter that asked God to forgive Anton for the sins he committed so he can be laid to rest. And when she believes that there was good in this man, then it has got to be the truth. From what I gathered, he would have made a great father if the circumstances would have been different, and we can’t hold a person’s mistakes against them when they’ve already repented for what they’ve done.”

She closed her eyes. Maybe she should have taken him up on his offer to read his speech beforehand. She waited for his words as if she was waiting for the guillotine to come down on her head.

“You would know the secret of death. But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life? The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light. If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one. In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor. Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king? Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling? For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered? Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”

A lonely tear ran down Eliza’s cheek and onto the collar of her dress. Matt squeezed her hand reassuringly. Once again, she couldn’t tell what he was thinking behind those red glasses. And when it was her turn to speak, his hand was suddenly gone and she was alone in the limelight of God and seemingly the world. 

She cleared her throat, awkwardly shifting from one foot to the other. She had prepared a small speech, but the words got lost in her. She was hollow, helpless, and she wanted nothing but to chope up and run out. But one look at her friends and she chose to be braver than her head kept telling her she was. 

Her mother told her she could do anything she set her mind to, be whoever she wanted to be, so she would follow her advice and speak her mind. 

“I didn’t really know my father,” she began, her voice echoing off the high walls, “But I did learn one thing when we first met again a couple of weeks ago - he’s just as insufferable as me.”

Chuckles came from the small crowd.

“I can say with confidence that he tried to be a good father. He made one crucial mistake and it destroyed more than it fixed, but he never had ill intent. So I don’t think he’s a bad person and if I had gotten the chance to see him before he-” she swallowed, “I would have told him that I forgive him for what happened. I know years of trauma are not so easily fixed, but a couple of days ago I read a letter from my mother and she put a lot of trust in him. She loved him. He was the love of her life and he loved her more than anything, too. And he loved me, which I understand now, even if he screwed up badly. He made the choice he thought would help me. He didn’t know what would happen, so, I forgive him, and if God really is real and he’s waiting for a sign on how to judge him, I’d say that he doesn’t deserve to suffer for something he didn’t mean to do,” Eliza said.

Her voice remained steady, but the tears were already burning behind her eyes. “I mean, we all make mistakes, right? It’s human. And forgiveness is human too. We all deserve second chances, and when you love a person-” she met the red void before Matt’s eyes, but he was smiling at her, “you would do anything for them, including forgiving them for fucking up everything.”

She paused.

“My mom wrote in her letter, I’ve long dreamed of the day I would become a mother. So many ideas, so many ideals, so many questions and longings and wonderings. I’ve not only had to learn to face the demons of my own past, but I’ve had to learn to let go.” 

She memorized every line after first reading them. The wounds were fresh, but the more she thought about it, the faster they started to heal. She was so close now. The worst would be over soon. After Anton was laid to rest, she could finally go home, not just physically but mentally too. There was no reason to be on edge anymore. The past would finally be over and she could move on. 

God knew she wanted nothing more than to move on from the mess that she had crawled out from.

“I had to face the demons of my past too,” she said. The tears grew stronger and for the first time that day, her voice quivered too. “And today I’m learning how to let go,” Eliza met Matt’s smile with a sad one of her own, “She said, nothing is ever truly in your way that can’t be loved, left, or learned from. And you are never alone. Someone will always be there to hold your hand, guide the way, or help you find the answers.”

The faint nod was directed at her and she took it with pride. Her mother was right, she had found the kind of love the woman had found in her father not so long ago. If she died now, she could say the same thing Guinevere did. She had found something worth living for, and she got everything she could have ever wanted. 

“And then there is the hope that when you’re older, the truth of your existence will be better researched, and you’ll be able to live a full life without being terrified. I know your father is working himself to the bone to figure it out, and I think he’s close to cracking the code. God,” she chuckled, “She was so devoted to him, which makes me think that I should have never held a grudge against him. My mother had faith in him so I have faith in him now too, hoping it’s not too late for him to feel it.”

In the back of her head, Father Lantom told her, ‘It’s never too late to have faith in someone’, and somehow his obnoxious voice was exactly what she needed to hear, even if it was just a very vocal thought. 

“I forgive you,” she said directed at the paintings on the ceiling. “It’s okay,” her voice cracked, “I do forgive you. And I think we should all do that, you know. We should all stop holding grudges. It’s unhealthy and life is too short to push away the people you love.”

The metal doors weren’t the quietest contraception. They creaked when they were pushed open from the outside. 

Eliza stuttered, stumbling over her words, and she stopped completely when she saw the face of the man who rudely interrupted the service. He wore his sunglasses darker than usual, but he had dressed in a black suit and a matching tie. On any other occasion, he would have loved to cause a scandal, but not today. 

All heads turned around. 

“Tony,” she heard Happy hiss, but the man’s attention was on her entirely. 

They stared at each other for seemingly endless hours. She wasn’t sure how to react, but his sudden appearance after all this time through her off, as did the impeccable timing he always had, and so she clenched her fists around the wood of the podium and kept staring at him until he straightened his suit jacket and caved. 

Tony slipped into one of the pews, sitting down far away from the rest of the group. He crossed his heart, sat up like a good catholic boy and he never once diverted his eyes away from her. 

She swallowed again, searching for the thread that once connected her thoughts, but it was gone. Perhaps she had already been done, anyway. 

Eliza excused herself and went back to her seat. Her heart beat up to her throat. “What is he doing here?” she whispered. 

Matt leaned down. “I don’t know,” he said. “Did you invite him?”

“I might have mentioned it to him in one of my many voicemails, but I didn’t think he’d actually come.”

“Well… life’s too short to hold grudges.”

She looked over her shoulder, meeting Tony’s stern eyes still hidden behind his sunglasses. 

“Maybe this is your chance.”

And she turned back to look at her boyfriend. “Maybe,” she said. 

Maybe. But for that, she would have to talk to him, and she wasn’t sure how to go about that either. She wasn’t even sure she would make it out of this church alive.

Sensing her discomfort, Matt simply took her hand and put it in his lap. His lips graced her cheek and he said all too familiar words that always managed to get tears into her eyes. “You’re going to be okay,” he told her. 

He held her hand and he told her she was going to be okay. She wasn’t alone. Someone was there to hold her hand and hold her heavy heart when the weight got too much to carry. Yes, she wasn’t alone, something she had been told the opposite of her entire life until she believed it to be true. 

But it had all been a lie. She wasn’t alone. She wasn’t unlovable. And she didn’t need a man with too much power to tell her who she was, not anymore. It was her life now and she held the keys to the ignition, ready to drive anywhere she wanted regardless of what other people thought.

Eliza was going to be okay, she knew that now.

As her mom said at the end of her letter, 

You are going to be okay, Alina. Even if I’m not around to take care of you, I know for a fact you’re going to be okay - because I’m your mother and I have a feeling that this world has great things in store for you. 

I pray that you will find that thing that lights the fire in your soul and uses the grace in your heart.

I love you. 

Yours truly, 

Mom.