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roccorrios · 5 years ago

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How to Escape a Sinking Car (& Get Out While Underwater with a Window Break)

Several months ago 2 cousins, just 19 years old, drowned when their car plunged into a pond.

The driver was traveling from her workplace at Amazon to a nursing home where the other cousin worked.

Medical examiners say both women died of accidental drowning and that no foul play is suspected. This was a tragic and devastating incident for the community – and it doesn’t happen to just adults.

Children and babies are frequently victims in water related accidents.

I was even more surprising to find out that over 10,000 auto accidents like this happen each year.

Some survive, others don’t.

And it made me think, “would I know what to do in a situation like this?”

“How would I save children or other passengers in a drowning car?”

We all like to think that we’d be able to escape a car crash in water.

But being in the moment, inside a car sinking in water is far more disorienting than you may think.

It happens fast.

And you may even find yourself upside down and in the dark – a panic inducing moment even without passengers.

So, how long does it take for a car to sink?

On average your window of opportunity will be between 30-320 seconds – it’s fast, and the water doesn’t need to be deep to cause problems.

Additionally, a recent study revealed that door panels get jammed after 120 seconds.

Do power windows work underwater?

You’ll find that you have a short window of opportunity before you lose all electrical systems in your vehicle.

As a driver, your knowledge of what to do in a sinking car will enable you to rescue your family and other passengers while waiting for 911 to dispatch ambulances.

This is why it’s important to know exactly what to do before you ever find yourself in a situation like this.

Do you have a plan on how to get out of a drowning car? Here’s some “escape the car” help.

How to get out of a sinking car: 4 Simple Steps

First of all, make sure you have a car safety kit. You can find our Ultimate Car Emergency Safety Kit here.

Next, make sure to memorize the following steps:

Seatbelts

Windows

Children Out

You Out

There are two different scenarios when it comes to getting out of a car sinking in water.

One of them is while the windows are still above water, the other is while you are submerged.

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How to get out of a car underwater

Can you open a car door underwater?

Once a car starts sinking, water exerts pressure in all directions.

Imagine trying to open your car door but there are 10 quarterbacks pushing against it from the outside.

No amount of kicking will be able to rescue you because of pressure increasing each second.

What to do if your car is submerged in water

1. Secure your phone

Whiplash injuries might occur when a car veers off the road and lands into a large mass of water.

Drivers and passengers can also sustain wrist fractures as they hold onto the nearest object for safety.

Your phone enables you to get professional medical attention as soon as possible.

Switch off your phone, and if possible, remove the battery quickly. Doing this prevents short-circuiting as you swim towards dry land. Alternatively, you can switch if off and put it in the nearest plastic bag you can find.

2. Take a deep breathe

Sometimes, things aren’t as bad as they appear. If the accident happens while you’re sober, your mind can shift attention from the loud splashing.

It’s during this moment that you can stop and recall where you’ve placed your car window breaker.

Panicking works against you because it makes it impossible to cut the seatbelt.

It’s also hard to remember about water pressure when your mind is clouded with fear.

That’s why taking a deep breathe helps you to figure out the best course of action.

3. Be ready to part with your belongings

It seems rational to scoop up all your belongings when water flows into your car. Especially when they’re high-end items like designer bags or MacBook laptops.

However, you might only have less than a minute to rescue yourself, and holding on to your belongings will prevent you from using your hands to swim.

Your phone is what you need the most because an accident might take place at night or in secluded areas.

In such situations, it might take a while before other people come to your rescue.

4. Unbuckle your seatbelt fast

Once your car starts sinking, it becomes a hazard to your life.

So, you need to get out urgently by unbuckling your seatbelt.

But, you need to follow the second step in this list, which is taking a deep breathe.

If your seatbelts seem jammed, you’ll need a sharp knife to cut through.

That’s why you need a rescue tool in your glove compartment.

Also, don’t wait for water to get inside your vehicle because wet seatbelts are harder to cut.

5. Roll down your windows

Now that you know how water exerts pressure on submerged doors, you need another escape route.

Car windows are large enough for adults to swim through.

But, do you really have to break the glass in order to swim to safety?

No one wants to deal with cuts and stitches when they’re already trapped in a life or death situation.

When your car hits the water, secure your escape routes by rolling down your window.

Doing this enables you to swim to safety without bleeding on the way out.

However, it also lets in water at a high rate.

6. Use a tool to break a car window underwater

Let’s assume you don’t have time to roll down the windows because your vehicle rolled over several times and landed inside water.

Is it possible to break the car window underwater?

Yes, it is but you have to do it before any water gets in.

All you need is a car rescue tool to clear your exit. They’re usually the size of a key holder and contain a sharp razor blade to cut through seatbelts.

A spring-loaded tool is ideal because you only have to press it against the corner of your car window to shatter the glass.

3 tips on how to escape a car submerged in water

Top Gear Sinking Car

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1. Equip each passenger with a spring-loaded rescue tool

A spring-loaded rescue tool costs anywhere from $30-$50. It’s really affordable and worth it – even movie tickets also fall within the same price range.

Plus, it’s easy to carry because you can just attach it to your key chain or attach it to the headrest for quick access.

Additionally, children aged over 7 years can use it easily because you don’t need to press the tool against the window forcefully.

When each passenger has a tool within easy access, all passengers have the best chances of survival without complicated injuries.

2. Avoid storing heavy objects near headrests

Sometimes we tend to place heavy objects on the space between the backseat headrests and windshield.

Doing this puts both you and your passengers at great risk.

When a fast-moving car loses control and swerves into water, you’ll notice that the car sinks in nose first.

Why is this dangerous?

Because the impact hurls everything to the front.

Any bottles, electronics, and other items pose a danger to both you and your passengers because they’re moving at a high speed.

So, to avoid hurting yourself or your passengers, keep heavy items in the trunk.

3. Open the sunroof fast

When you’re driving in cold weather, your windows will be shut to insulate yourself.

So, what happens when you lose control and your car starts sinking?

How do you get out of a car underwater?

Well, the best solution is rolling down the windows or using a rescue tool.

However, it’s possible that your windows might be faulty and there’s no rescue tool around.

Does this mean that all hope is lost?

Certainly not.

You can act fast by opening the sunroof while cutting the seatbelt.

Escaping through the sunroof is easier for passengers because the car’s tilted position forces objects towards the roof.

How to escape a sinking car with children

1. Don’t panic

Children are highly in tune with your body language.

They can tell when things are going wrong by just looking at your face and listening to the tone in your voice.

Their ability to cooperate with your rescue efforts depends on your state of mind as the car starts sinking.

Remember to take deep breathes as you unbuckle your safety belt and roll down the windows.

Don’t shout back at the children when they scream in panic because it will only make things worse.

2. Start with the oldest to the youngest

Earlier on, we saw that your window of opportunity closes after two minutes.

So, in order for you to increase your chances of survival, the best strategy is to start with more able-bodied passengers.

Why is this important?

Because they can help you rescue other passengers by moving them out or breaking nearby windows.

It’s impossible to swim to the surface and then back to the wrecked car to rescue other passengers.

In most cases, the survivor is still traumatized and this hinders their ability to make rational decisions.

Plus, it’s hard to break car windows from outside when you don’t have a spring-loaded rescue tool.

3. Get a booster seat with quick release technology

In a drowning car, you might need to rescue more than one child.

Sometimes, it gets challenging when you’re driving with a toddler or child with a physical impairment because they’re relying on you to swim them to safety.

In such a situation, trying to cut through the seatbelt can be tricky due to the numerous straps attached.

However, you can scoop your child and swim away by just pressing a button on the booster seat thanks to quick release technology.

How to rescue a drowning person without floatation device

So far, we’ve looked at how to get out of a sinking vehicle and rescue passengers safely.

But, what happens when some of your passengers can’t swim?

In case one of your passengers starts drowning here’s what to do

1. Offer reassurance

Deep waters are terrifying because we’re used to stepping and walking on solid ground.

The drowning victim feels overwhelmed with fear and this makes them sink.

Your job is to help them focus their attention on staying afloat.

As you swim towards the victim, encourage them with inspiring words.

Tell them that they’re doing a great job and you’ll get them to safety fast.

Calming down your passengers makes them more cooperative towards your instructions.

2. Use the chin grab

When swimming towards your passenger, you’ll notice that he or she wants to dive and cling on to you for safety.

If they actually get a hold of you, it makes the situation worse because you can’t use your limbs to swim back to safety.

What’s the best approach?

Dive underwater for the sake of your drowning passenger.

Swim towards him or her and then turn towards their back.

Then, grab their hips and slide your least dominant hand to their chin.

For instance, a right-handed person will use their left hand to hold their victim’s chin up.

This position enables you to swim to safety without the passenger pulling your limbs.

The best way to get to safety is by using either the back or sidestroke.

3. Talk to them

The best rescue situation is where everyone comes out unscathed and still conscious.

As you swim to dry land, keep on motivating your passenger.

This engagement prevents their brain from switching off, enabling them to keep breathing throughout.

How to give CPR to a drowning person

Here are some quick easy steps to help you revive a friend, passenger, or relative as you await an ambulance.

1. Open their mouth to check for obstructions

Water can flood a drowning victim’s mouth as they gasp for air repeatedly.

This blocks their airway and puts them in a life-threatening situation.

How do you ensure that their airway is clear?

First, lay down your passenger on solid ground far from the water.

Next, place your right hand on their forehead then use your left hand to tilt their chin gently.

Open their mouth by pulling down their chin.

If your phone is still working, use the flashlight to check for any obstructions in the throat.

2. Clean any fluids on the victim’s mouth

Drowning can induce vomiting because the victim is choking with water.

Sometimes, the impact upon hitting an obstacle or water can cause cuts or gashes to the mouth.

As a rescuer, your health always remains the top priority and that’s why you can’t proceed to giving rescue breathes.

Nowadays, you can get pocketsize CPR masks ideal for such situations.

If you lost it while swimming to safety, just use your handkerchief or t-shirt to wipe your passenger’s mouth clean.

3. Check for a pulse

Assessing the pulse rate enables you to determine whether you need to give chest compressions.

How do you check for one?

Place your index and middle fingers at the center of your passenger’s neck then slide them sideways to the muscle until you feel a small depression.

If you can’t detect a pulse, prepare to give chest compressions.

4. Start with rescue breaths

The aim of giving rescue breathes is to stimulate your victim’s lungs.

Doing this also ensures that the brain and heart still receive enough oxygen.

Start by tilting your victim’s head upwards then open their mouth gently to clear their airway.

Next, place your mouth directly on top of theirs then blow deeply.

Watch if his or her chest is rising before giving the next rescue breath.

Rescue breathes are effective in reviving victims who passed out just moments before getting rescued to dry land.

5. Give 30 chest compressions

Before proceeding to this step, locate the center of your victim’s chest.

Place your thumb at the victim’s armpit then follow a straight line towards the center, which is halfway below the sternum.

Next, place the heel of your right hand then place your left hand on top while interlocking your fingers.

Before pumping, make sure your shoulders are straight.

Proceed to the compressions at a rate of 100 per minute.

It’s advisable to take off any jewelry or ties hanging on your victim’s neck.

Mythbusters underwater car survival tests

Let’s look at some of the widely spread, but wrong ways of how to get out of a drowning car.

Mythbusters fall into water

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1. Myth: wait for the pressure to equalize

Some people believe that the best way to escape a submerged car is waiting for the water to fill up your car to chest level.

The inflowing water equalizes air pressure enabling you to open doors easily.

On surface level, it seems rational because it only takes a minute for water to fill up a car.

But, is it really a wise move?

As water fills up, it’s also carrying soil and objects of varying sizes.

The visibility inside deteriorates rapidly and this puts you at risk especially when you’re trying to find your car rescue tool.

Secondly, the incoming water adds weight and this can force your car to flip upside down.

It’s hard to rescue passengers when you’re stuck in this position.

2. Myth: kick out the windshield

Every major action movie star from Sylvester Stallone to Jason Statham have defiantly kicked out windshields in scenes involving submerged vehicles.

They make it look so easy that you immediately believe it’s a method that works in real life.

Unfortunately, it’s all camera tricks.

A windshield consists of two layers of thick glass and in between them is a layer of highly elastic plastic adhesive.

This design makes it able to withstand higher impacts from falling objects compared to your side windows.

Also, the steering wheel’s position makes it hard to thrust your legs with the required force.

3. Myth: break the side windows using your elbows

You’ve also seen this in a couple of movies. All you need to do is aim then strike the glass hard.

How effective is this method?

On a scale of one to ten, elbow strikes score a dismal three.

Why?

Because you’ll need to strike the window repeatedly to get a breakthrough.

Yet, you only have less than two minutes to get out of the sinking wreck.

If you somehow manage to break your window, you’ll be in a lot of pain and bleeding profusely due to the cuts sustained.

Finally… Rescuing yourself from a sinking car isn’t difficult as long as you retain mental composure.

It helps you to locate the right tools for the job as well as figuring out the best rescue plan for your passengers.

What’s the best way to prepare for these incidents?

Ensure that your car tires are in excellent condition when driving in snow or rainy weather, especially near rivers and lakes.

Finally, make sure there are a couple of rescue tools in your glove compartment in case your car gets submerged in water

More helpful reading:

How to Create a Disaster Plan for Your Home

How to Choose the Best Survival Kit

Wilderness Survival Kits: 10 Essentials You Should Always Bring With You Outdoors

The post How to Escape a Sinking Car (& Get Out While Underwater with a Window Break) appeared first on survivalistgear.co.

source https://survivalistgear.co/how-to-escape-a-sinking-car/

source https://survivalistgear1.wordpress.com/2019/06/11/how-to-escape-a-sinking-car-get-out-while-underwater-with-a-window-break/

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wherethesunset · 7 years ago

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I Have Lived In Three Countries and Been Harassed in All of Them

I have lived in three countries on three different continents since becoming an adult and I have been harassed in every single one of them. The harassment is different in every place that I’ve lived and has happened regardless of time of day, what I’m wearing, and whether I’m in a rural, suburban or urban area. I want to talk about harassment not to complain or horrify but to raise awareness. I’m sure people are aware harassment occurs but sometimes I wonder whether we’re aware how pervasive harassment is.. When I say harassment I mean street harassment and unwanted attention (verbal, physical etc) in a public space (Kearl, 2014). I am amongst the 65% of women in the USA (YouGov, 2014), the 85% of women in Great Britain (YouGov, 2016) between the ages or 18-24 to experience harassment and the unknown but undoubtedly numerous number of women in Zambia who have experienced street harassment.

I’m white, I’m female, and I lived in the suburbs of Boston where, since I was 13 years old, I have been harassed. When I was 13, I was out walking when a car passed me, honked and some guy shouted, ‘yeah, baby,’ out the window. Between 13 and 18, when I was living in Boston, I was honked at, whistled at, and shouted at. It didn’t happen every day, and it was definitely more common in the spring and summer. It mostly occurred when I was out walking or running alone. I did not get harassed while I was in the center of town or when there were a lot of other people nearby. I was singled out and harassed when I was alone.

I went to university in Edinburgh, Scotland. In Edinburgh, I was harassed when I was out walking, running or even out with friends. I was out running one time by the university, close to the center of town, and two guys on bikes pedaled towards me on the sidewalk. They left no space for me to pass them. I was forced into the road as they screamed at me, “We gonna have sex tonight?!” They raced off on their bikes. In another instance, I was out running in the suburbs of Edinburgh and ran past two boys who hit me on the butt with a small stick as I passed. It was 3:00 in the afternoon. Again, on that same route, a group of boys stared at me and yelled “Our sex is going to be fire.” I stopped running that route. In another instance I was running down the road next to the university accommodation where I was living when a group of men and a girl kept moving in front of me as I tried to past them on the sidewalk or the road. Eventually I had to run to the other side of the road in order to pass them. I heard their laughter as I continued to run. I was out walking with a friend to dinner one time and this guy blocked my path and loudly declared, “I love you.” Not the worst thing he could’ve said. But, it was not necessary to shout it at me and block my path. I also don’t understand what response he wanted-- was it just for a few laughs? I don’t think he was looking for love at first sight.

When I told people about the harassment I faced some people understood, others listened and some tried to give advice. The advice was always well meant, but missed the point. Often people would suggest I change where I run, when I run, or suggested I go to a gym. I had tried all of those options and they didn’t work. Because the problem wasn’t where or when or how I ran, the problem was those who were harassing me. No appeasement stops harassment; the problem is cultural, not personal. I could have stopped running, sucked it up and gone to a gym, but I don’t want to avoid places where harassment occurs. I want to continue to run in places where harassment happens because then, if another woman is out walking, she won’t be alone. I think, if possible, we should flock to places where harassment occurs, making it harder to isolate and attack women while they are alone.

In Zambia, I have also faced harassment. Harassment in Zambia is somewhat different than in the USA or UK. Here in Zambia, white people are the minority and are often assumed to be wealthy. For a lot of Zambians, getting close to a white person is their ticket out - out of poverty or event the country. So, while the harasssment was sexual, there are deeper social and economic issues behind the harassment. I have had three complete strangers - they didn’t even tell me their names first - propose marriage to me. In one particularly difficult incident, I was sitting on quasi-public transport when a drunk man stood outside my door, asked me to marry him and got increasingly irritated when I continued to refuse him. I was trapped until the mini-bus left almost an hour later. I have had people grab at me while I was on a bus. I had a man stroke me legs while claiming to help straighten my skirt. Thankfully, when I yelled at him some ladies nearby told him off, but it still happened. I had a man stroke my knee while I sat next to him on public transport, despite my protests. I was forced to change seats. I have been told that I am very pretty or that I dress too much like a boy and that I should be nicer to the men that approach me. I had a stalker for a while that insisted I was going to be “the mother to his children,” and who followed me to my home and workplace. The administration, my workplace, and my host family stopped the guy from coming and they supported me when I needed it. But that support system hasn’t stopped other harassment from occurring.

I have faced harassment of various kinds. I have tried to keep my cool, tried not to run away, tried not to escalate the problem, tried to confront the men and tried to continue to go out and live my life every day and not hide away as so many women have been forced to do. While I was talking with one male friends about the harassment I’d faced he just couldn’t stop shaking his head. He responded that he doesn’t know how females do it - how every female has to deal with daily struggles and sexism and harassment on top of everyday struggles. Of course, some men get harassed but it is predominantly targeted at females, and most harassment is done by men (Kearl, 2014). I have so much respect for the women that get up everyday and fight for their right to go about their life normally. There are some women that get harassed every day and keep pushing along. I am in awe that they have the strength to persist against harassment and the psychological harm that comes with it. In a Gallup poll from 2011, of 143 countries, 38% of women and 28% of men felt unsafe walking in their communities at night (Crabtree and Nsubuga, 2012). That is a double digit gap that Gallup states that, in part, is due to violence against women that goes unpunished (Crabtree and Nsubuga, 2012.) Harassment and fear of violence has a huge impact on women’s work and personal lives and can also affect the overall peacefulness and stability of a country (Crabtree and Nsubuga 2012.) Harassment happens far too often, but we don’t have to allow it.

There are a number articles that talk about dealing with street harassment and how to appropriately and safely react. But, I think it is also important to ask ourselves, how we can stop it from happening? We need to find out why people harass others - is it a feeling of empowerment? Entitlement? We need to teach and empower women and men. We need to talk and we need to act, to make it clear to all that harassment is not acceptable.

References:

Kearl, Holly. (2014.) Unsafe and Harassed in Public Spaces: A National Street Harassment Report. Stop Street Harassment and GfK. Retrieved October 21, 2017. http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/2014-National-SSH-Street-Harassment-Report.pdf

Steve Crabtree and Faith Nsubuga. (2012) Women Feel Less Safe Than Men in Many Developed Countries. Gallup. Retrieved October 21, 2017. http://news.gallup.com/poll/155402/women-feel-less-safe-men-developed-countries.aspx

YouGov. (2014). OPI Catcalls. YouGov. Retrieved October 21, 2017. http://cdn.yougov.com/cumulus_uploads/document/67vqlfmv5l/tabs_OPI_catcalls_20140815.pdf

YouGov. (2016.) YouGov/ EVAW Survey Results. YouGov and Ending Violence Against Young Women. Retrieved October 21, 2017.

https://d25d2506sfb94s.cloudfront.net/cumulus_uploads/document/r83zjm81yg/EVAW_Results_160301_GB_Women_Website.pdf

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VzJ-VQe1L17VIQ2sbyiEZNc0gV_INDJmw6bz-9eKXic/edit?usp=sharing

PLEASE USE THIS LINK FOR FULL POST INCLUDING FOOTNOTES.

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livinglavidalibro-blog · 8 years ago

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A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

7.5/10 for this one. It’s a great story with relatable and sympathetic and inspiring characters, especially the main character, and it’s got a nice overall message. It’s written pretty well, Betty Smith certainly was good at characterization, but the overall idea and the main theme are kind of overdone so it wasn’t the most exciting or intriguing read. I completely recommend it, but it’s not the best book ever.

DETAILS 1943 novel by Betty Smith

SUMMARY Francie Nolan is a young girl growing up in Brooklyn, New York shortly before WWI begins. He parents married young and her father has a drinking problem. When she was very young, she and her family had to move a couple times due to embarrassing incidents involving Francie’s father, Johnny, and her aunt, Sissy. Finally, the settle into the house Francie grows up in. Francie and her brother, Neeley, help their parents out by running errands on the weekends, and afterwards, Francie likes to sit in the fire escape and read while looking out at a tree growing nearby called the Tree of Heaven. He mother is a hard-working janitor who supports the family financially and her father is a waiter who doesn’t often has work and spends his money on alcohol. Although Francie loves her father, as she gets older she notices more and more the issues he causes with his behavior. Francie and Neeley start school at the same time, and although Francie loves to read and to learn, she finds that her teachers favor the richer students, and many of her peers are cruel. She is unhappy until she is able to transfer to a better school, where she works hard and earns praise from her teachers, especially in English class. Eventually, her mother gets pregnant again. A few months before the baby is born, Johnny dies. The stress of losing her father changes Francie. She becomes more rebellious, and gets in trouble with her English teacher because her work has become darker and more cynical. After she graduates middle school, she goes to work instead of high school, although she desperately wants to continue her education. She works in a clippings bureau and reads the newspaper to educated herself about the world. Her brother starts high school, but the family cannot afford for her to go as well. She is eventually able to start taking some classes as a local community college. When the war begins, Francie meets and falls in love with a soldier who is in town for the weekend. She is devastated when he leaves and she calls his home only to find out he has married his fiancé and was only using her. Not long after, her mother gets engaged to a man who can provide well for the family – including enough money for Francie to go to college. Before the wedding, they pack up their old apartment. At the end of the novel, we see that the Tree of Heaven is still growing.

ANALYSIS Perhaps the most important symbol in the novel is the Tree of Heaven, from which the title of the book is derived. The tree is interesting because it is growing, and continues to grow throughout the entire novel, despite the fact that there is little access to light or water or soil, the three things a tree needs to grow. Yet without these things, this tree somehow still grows. Throughout her life, Francie is lacking so many things that a person usually needs to grow and mature into a responsible, stable adult. Her family is poor and cannot provide for her the way her mother would like. In fact, she cannot even go to high school and has to instead start working at a young age. Her mother favors her brother and her father is a drunk who is often not home and of no use in helping provide for the family, although he does clearly love his children. Despite all of this, Francie remains strong, determined, smart, passionate about her studies and about literature, and at the end of the novel is heading off to college. The Tree of Heaven is Francie’s – and anyone’s really – ability to overcome hardship, to work hard and succeed in the face of adversity.

That brings us to a major theme in the novel, is the strength of women. In this novel, all of the female characters are strong characters, while the men are often weak. Francie’s mother, Katie, is the breadwinner of the family, she works hard at work, and she is also the one who is most often and home and able to be there as a parent for her children. Johnny, meanwhile, struggles to keep a job and is dependent on alcohol. Similarly, Francie is determined and hard-working. She goes to work and helps her family stay afloat with her earnings, and she also manages to get into college despite the fact that her brother was the one who was allowed to go to high school. Katie even admits that she picked Neeley to go because she knew that Francie would find a way to continue her education without being sent to high school, and Neeley wouldn’t. Not only are the women in the novel shown to be stronger than the men, but Smith inverts gender stereotypes – in particular sexist social norms – in other ways, as well. For example, she questions the validity of rigid sexual rules for women. Francie’s Aunt Sissy is a promiscuous woman, someone whose actions and sexual behavior were entirely unacceptable during the time. Yet she is also one of the kindest, most sympathetic characters in the story. This is Smith’s way of reminding us that women do not have to be prudish and constantly pure in order to be valued. Women can engage in and enjoy sex and still be good people.

While the book does not emphasize sexual purity as the only form of innocence and goodness for a woman, as was the common thinking during the early 20th century, it does still focus a lot on the concept of innocence and, more specifically, the loss of innocence. Francie starts the book as a contented, happy, innocent to the point of naivete young girl. In the end she is still happy and contented, but she has lost a great deal of innocence. And during her journey from beginning to end, there are many points where she is not happy at all. It begins when she first enters school, and realizes that people judge her for being poor, although she cannot help it. She realizes that people can be cruel. Later, her adoration for her father is knocked down a few notches as she begins to realize the problems he causes with his drinking and irresponsibility. Of course, she always loves him, but she begins to mature and see him more as a flawed person than a beloved father and idol. After his death, we see the first major indication of just how much she has lost, as she gives up on her faith in God, and burns much of her poetry and writing she had done in the past. Later, her first real romantic interaction leaves her heartbroken and betrayed, and she has to face the facts that sometimes people lie about how they feel and what they are thinking just to get what they want. Over and over again throughout the novel, Francie’s life experiences take chip away at her sense of innocence, her belief in the goodness of the world and of people. Still, at the end, she finds a way to continue to be happy, to be hard-working, to be loving and trusting; she may not be exactly as she was when we first meet her at the beginning of the book, but just like the Tree of Heaven she has continued to grow.

THOUGHTS I really enjoyed this book. It is very focused on empowerment of women and has strong undertones of sexual liberation for women and equal opportunities in academics and the workplace for women and for lower class people, all of which were not only major issues during the era of the book and when the book was published, but are still pretty important issues. It’s really nice to read. Most of the characters are sympathetic and you certainly care about them and what happens to them, and you definitely find yourself frustrated on Francie’s behalf on many an occasion. It’s a relatable story for almost everyone because there are so many layers to Francie’s life and her story so even if you can’t relate to all of them, you can probably find something in there that will resonate with you. Of course, it is an American Dream kind of book, which are always a little bit annoying because it’s based on the idea that working hard enough can get anyone out of anything, which is not always the case. For example, especially in the years leading up to WWI, when this takes place, any person of color could have worked just as hard as Francie and not gotten half as far as she did, simply because they would be facing so many more obstacles. And institutional, systemic racism is not an obstacle that you can just leap over. Francie of course had obstacles: being a poor woman with a notorious alcoholic for a father (and then losing her father at a young age) was not easy for her, as we can see in the book. She worked incredibly hard and truly was an amazing and inspiring character to read about, I’m just saying that in general I’m a bit weary of the American Dream concept. Still, I thought all of the main characters were really inspiring and powerful and Katie and Francie and Sissy were all well-written: flawed and realistic but strong and determined and overall good. I was really rooting for them and it’s nice to have a happy ending to wrap everything up.

#A Tree Grows in Brooklyn #Betty Smith #books #review #analysis #summary #queue

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seriouslyhooked · 8 years ago

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Wedded Bliss and Asterisks (A Modern CS AU) Part 15/?

Emma Swan is an enemy of love who just happens to be an up and coming wedding dress designer. She’s convinced that a fairytale kind of romance is nowhere in her future but when she meets Killian Jones, whose magazine is covering the opening of her new boutique, things change. Suddenly Emma finds herself drawing up new plans for her life, ones that seem to all be leading towards her own form of wedded bliss. Rated M.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven.Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen. Also on FF Here.

A/N: Hey all! This chapter picks up a few weeks after the last installment. I’m sure it will come as no surprise that we remain in a purely flufftastic state. Hope you guys enjoy and thank you all so much for reading!

A few weeks after the incident with Liam in the bakery and the awkward (yet well received) love confession that brought all of Bliss Boutique to a grinding halt, Emma and her friends were enjoying a true rarity at Bliss: a day where all four of them could share the same lunch hour and spend it together.

Now theoretically this should not have been the hardest of achievements. They did, after all, work in the same building five days a week, but coordinating their schedules during office hours given all the excitement about the shop was so much easier said than done. Business was booming (as one would expect given all the great things happening around here) and they were enjoying a crazy ride to success that, while fun and invigorating, could be a bit much. As such the friends decided to grab some pizza and take it easy for as long as they possibly could (which was roughly fifty-two minutes and twenty-six seconds if Emma’s calculations were correct).

“I swear I could nap right here, right now. Just give me thirty seconds and a blanket and I’ll be out,” Mary Margaret said as she came into Emma’s office and plopped onto the couch, kicking her feet up on one of the ottomans and stretching out in a clear display of fatigue.

“Don’t worry, Elsa brought coffee,” Emma assured her, watching Mary Margaret’s face light up with relief as she accepted the drink.

Emma knew the feeling. Bliss these days was so go-go-go. It was a whirlwind to say the least, and Mary Margaret was in a similar boat as Emma with a personal life that kept her off hours just as filled as her work ones. But despite the franticness and the hectic pace, Emma knew that Mary Margaret wouldn’t trade her life right now for anything. She had worked so hard to make herself a sought-after wedding planner and she was achieving a pristine reputation for romance and creativity with every event that she threw.

Then of course there was the whole ‘finding love again after so many years apart’ thing, and when Mary Margaret wasn’t here in the office she was often with David making up for the time they’d lost over the past few years. Honestly Emma was amazed witnessing it all. Her friend had always been so happy and hopeful, but now she was even brighter than before. With the understanding that she and David had reached and them having their first real chance to try this thing between them, Mary Margaret was totally content, and Emma was just thrilled to see her friend so happy.

That happiness, however, was hardly exclusive to Mary Margaret and David. Ruby and Graham had been getting cozier and cozier too and Ruby had finally confessed to them all that she was in love with Graham and had been for years. She imparted that tidbit upon her best friends like it would be a surprise, but it wasn’t. They’d been obviously pining for each other for a while, and Emma always knew it was just a matter of time before one of them made a move. Thankfully they had, and Ruby was just as blissfully enamored with her current life as Mary Margaret was. Not that that kept her from constantly teasing the rest of them though: even a Ruby in love liked a joke at her friends’ expense now and then.

“Sexting in the workplace… that’s some pretty risky business, Els,” Ruby teased as she came around to offer their friend a slice of pizza and Elsa immediately flushed a deep shade of crimson. “Come to think of it that’s way more my style.”

“I’m not sexting!” Elsa denied, sitting up straighter in her chair and clicking off her phone screen, but Emma smiled at the flustered expression that clung to Elsa.

“But you are talking to Liam,” Emma clarified and Elsa nodded. “Let me guess – he said something romantic again but in that bizarrely blunt, Liam-like way.”

Elsa nodded that Emma was right, and though she didn’t offer the particulars of the text, Emma could just imagine what Killian’s brother had sent. Over the past few weeks, Liam had hardly been sparing in his affections for Emma’s friend, and there was a similarity between Liam and Killian in the way that both men were constantly present and never left any room for doubt that they would rather be with the women they loved than anywhere else. But where Liam was roughly ten steps ahead in his planning (already having been thinking about marriage and kids and the whole nine yards), Elsa was set on taking her time. She would not be rushed, and Emma appreciated that her friend’s wishes were heard and valued by Liam. Clearly the man was struggling to respect her insistence for slow, but he persevered all the same.

“I’d say that whole grand-gesture, crazy big love thing was genetic, but that wouldn’t be fair to Killian,” Ruby mused. “He has way more swagger than Liam.”

“Hey! Liam has swagger,” Elsa urged and after a beat they all laughed, partly because of the word, and partly because Liam did have that aura of being self-possessed. But unfortunately for him it always went missing the second Elsa was so much as brought up. And if she was directly in his presence? Forget it, he was totally lost.

“I don’t know,” Mary Margaret hedged. “I’ve seen Killian lose his cool a few times too. Like last week when that best man was hitting on Emma.”

Emma groaned aloud thinking back on that moment. The advances they were referring to had been completely unsolicited, and Emma hadn’t so much as smiled at the guy the whole time he was in the store, but still he went for it. It was tedious and totally uncalled for, and Emma had been seconds away from saying screw it and asking the bride to get him out of there, original dress commission or not, but then out of nowhere Killian was there stepping between the man who was reaching for Emma and her.

In a move that was so quick and commanding that Emma couldn’t even hope to resist, Killian kissed her there in front of the whole shop filled with people. At first Emma could taste his anger and his jealousy, feeling the rough demand of his hands roaming over her and pulling her closer, but when she began to kiss him back and ran her hand across his chest he let go of those darker thoughts. By the time they pulled back there was no doubting they’d made a huge scene, but Killian was smiling at her and unwilling to break eye contact. It made Emma’s heart flutter and her whole body hum with that familiar feel of desire, and she didn’t know what to say until Killian spoke first.

“Think we made our point, Swan? Or does everyone need another demonstration of our attachment?” he’d asked, bringing a blush to her cheeks but a smile all the same. He used that word again, the one he knew she loved and she couldn’t be angry at any of the caveman-like qualities that had just flared up when he was her sweet, caring man underneath.

“I think they get it,” Emma agreed but then she’d kissed Killian once more lightly, promising silently that no matter what anyone else thought she knew what they were and who she loved.

Emma then had to pull away and try to get things finalized with her client before leaving with Killian for their dinner plans, but even now Emma could still feel that searing kiss on her lips. She never thought she’d be at all accepting of someone exerting that kind of protective jealousy over her, but Killian proved her wrong, and as soon as they were out of there, Emma spent the whole night showing him just how little he had to worry about when it came to this relationship between them, and just how much he liked her staking his claim like that.

“Or that time that one bride brought her baby and Killian saw Emma holding her. I mean that was priceless,” Elsa added.

Emma had to fight not to hide her face in her hands at that one, and she willed herself with everything she had not to blush anymore than she already was. As it was she couldn’t contain the smile thinking of that moment. It wasn’t totally unheard of for the shop to get little ones in here what with ring bearers and flower girls and so on. But a baby was an anomaly, and Emma had been thrilled to hold onto the little one when her Mom was trying on her wedding dress.

“You know kid, this is a pretty cool thing you’ve got going here,” Emma had said with more adult tones than everyone else who carried the baby through the afternoon. “Your Mom and Dad are going to have a wedding, and you get to wear a flower crown, which I can tell you from personal experience is pretty neat. You would think they’re kind of lame but weirdly enough I’m a fan.”

When the baby babbled back in response, Emma was too consumed with the cuteness to notice the entry of a newcomer into the shop, but after a moment she felt his presence. Killian was there, and when she looked up he was staring at her with this look in his eye like nothing she’d ever seen. There was this fierce longing there, but there was also something more, and Killian had been so dazzled by that he completely lost sight of why he’d come in the first place.

“You gonna stand there all day Jones, or you gonna say hi?” Ruby teased and then Killian was all flustered sounds and a heart achingly cute greeting.

“Sorry love, you just – I mean it’s just – you’re very well suited and well I didn’t want to intrude,” he finally managed to get out and Emma smiled.

“You’re not intruding,” Emma assured him. “You could never intrude.”

Emma still recalled the smile that came to his face and she was still reeling herself from how good he’d been with the baby until the mother came back out and took her away. It had been one of those weird moments when they didn’t really push about what that moment had meant, but for Emma it was easy to imagine Killian as a Dad, making goofy faces and using soothing words with their kids. But then that set Emma down the whole path of worrying about presuming too much. It was hardly time to be thinking of kids, and so she and Killian had silently agreed not to push it and just let it be.

“Is this really how you want to spend your one break today?” Emma asked her friends during a lull in their stroll down memory lane as a means of pivoting from more focus on her love life. “I know analyzing my relationship is a favorite pastime for all of you, but there’s like a thousand other things to talk about.”

Mercifully her friends conceded that point, and for the next forty minutes or so Emma found a lovely reprieve from speculation. The friends gossiped and shared about all sorts of things both at work and outside of it, but Emma probably wouldn’t remember most of what was said years from now. She would, however, recall how these people, these four women who had come into her life years ago, were her rock. They were one of her surest sources of comfort and laughter, and Emma spent most of the time just so happy that they had this. Even with everything changing in their worlds they had each other, and that was a truly miraculous thing.

Just about the time that they were going to go their separate ways though, a knock sounded at the door. Emma knew that for the sound to come it must be something big, since Tiana would never dream of interrupting the friends if she didn’t have to, but Emma hoped it wasn’t some kind of disaster. After all the fun she’d just had with her oldest pals, she didn’t want the mood to shift in a stressful direction if she could possibly help it.

“Come in,” Emma offered and through the doorway appeared Tiana with a huge grin on her face.

“Hey boss, something just came for you guys and I think you’ll all want to see it.”

No sooner were the words out of Tiana’s mouth than the four friends jumped out of their chairs to see what it could be. They didn’t have to go far though, for there in the middle of the show room was the big parcel that had arrived for them. If Emma had to guess it was a painting of some kind given the size and dimensions, and there on top of the paper wrapping the piece was an envelope with the words: ‘To My Heroes’

“Oh my god this is so sweet,” Mary Margaret said, her eyes already growing a little teary.

“Mary Margaret, we haven’t even seen it yet,” Elsa insisted. “Let’s take a look before we start crying.”

As Mary Margaret and Elsa went to open the large gift Ruby read the card aloud, informing them all that this was a gift from Jasmine and Aladdin for helping them create a wedding neither of them could ever have dreamed up. It was a truly touching sentiment, and Emma was warmed just from the fact that they were clearly still so happy. They included a picture of the two of them from their honeymoon and the love in their eyes was clear. For Emma just the thought that they were enjoying that sweet feeling of love was enough, but then Elsa and Mary Margaret gasped and moved back, showing them the painting underneath.

As with any other Street Rat original, the most striking element of this painting’s composition was that the photo underneath (a perfectly selected image of the four friends laughing together while at the shop) was enhanced with streaks of color and tantalizing swirls of delicate purples and rich pinks. This picture packed all the punch of the ones that Killian and Emma had seen on their first date, but being the focus of the shot, and seeing how Aladdin viewed their friendship was really something.

There was no doubt in each of their expressions that the four of them were happy just to be with each other, and the joy that was there and the hope they each of them so willingly embodied was beautifully elevated with the gentle strokes of paint across the canvas. In short this was an absolutely stunning testament to the best friendships Emma had ever known, and she was so moved she could hardly speak. So it came as no surprise to Emma when she heard both Elsa and Mary Margaret sniffling away.

“It’s gorgeous,” Mary Margaret said finally through her continued crying. “Totally, absolutely gorgeous.”

“How did he even get this picture?” Elsa asked before all of the friends (and a number of the other staffers in the room) responded at the same time.

“Killian.”

This had Killian written all over it, and Emma knew that this was likely one of the pictures he’d had taken that didn’t make the cut for the magazine. If Emma had to hazard a guess though, it wasn’t the lack of appeal of the picture that kept it from being in the magazine but protectiveness from Killian. This was a truly special print and Emma was happy that it hadn’t been shared in any way but this one.

“We are so hanging this up in the front entrance. Every person who walks in here should see this and know exactly what they’re in for,” Ruby professed and Emma agreed.

“There’s one last thing,” Tiana said, drawing their attention all to another canvass across the space that none of them had noticed. Emma wondered how there could possibly be more than this amazing gift, and then she noticed the card on that one had only her name in Jasmine’s flowing scrawl.

Moving across the room to retrieve the card, Emma shared a look with her friends before opening it. Emma had a sneaking suspicion of what this could potentially be though she had no idea how it would be possible, but from the look on the faces of her three friends, they were already convinced of what was coming.

Dear Emma,

I know you’re probably wondering why I would give you an extra gift when, as you’ve said many times before, this wedding was a team effort. And you’re not wrong. The day I got to share with Aladdin was a gift you all gave me that I will cherish forever. But I believe that there are some moments that absolutely need to be captured, and Aladdin agreed. Let this be a reminder that you have found more than a simple ‘something’ with Killian, and let it also be a wish from my husband and I that you two hold on to this moment and this love all through your life.

-Jasmine

The sound of ripping paper as Emma was finishing reading told Emma that her friends had gotten too impatient to hold off any longer, and the murmurs of appreciation that followed solidified that the portrait Aladdin had made must be really special indeed.

“Wow,” Ruby said as she shook her head. “I don’t even know what to say.”

Emma wanted so badly to look up and catch a glimpse of whatever image Aladdin had used to no doubt create another breathtaking masterpiece, but she resisted. Instead of giving into instant gratification, Emma decided that what she wanted was another moment with Killian, and a chance to share in this reveal together.

“Don’t show me,” Emma said much to the surprise of everyone, but all it took was a second for understanding to appear in everyone’s eyes.

“Okay then, but we’re gonna need some tape, because we just went to town on this,” Elsa admitted making Emma laugh heartily as she slipped the card in her pocket for safe keeping. And as the friends spent the last moments of their lunch break puzzling together a cover for Emma, Emma was thinking just how lucky she was and how eager she was to share this with Killian later tonight.

……………

After a long day at work there was nothing that compared to the hope and comfort of knowing that he was seeing Emma. It didn’t matter where or when; as long as Killian got the chance to be with her a day could be salvaged as far as he was concerned, but tonight he was truly in need of seeing her.

The cause for that was simple – he’d been thinking of her damn near all day and hadn’t had the chance to so much as text her despite his wanting to. There were a million meetings to get to, hands to shake, and deals to be made, and the final product was substantial: Citizen NY was getting the chance to launch it’s brand of writing, content, and style to three other major markets. It was exactly the kind of expansion Killian had hoped for when he started this endeavor, but it was hard to be fully satisfied when it meant spending so much longer in the office.

For the past two days he’d missed the morning commute with Emma, and he was sick of that and every other missed opportunity that they had. Too many days had gone by without more than a quick meal or a tiny interlude between them. So tonight Killian had a plan: he was fully disconnecting from the fray of his work and surrounding himself as much as he could with Emma. Nothing was going to keep him from his Swan, and for the rest of the night it would just be him and her and…

“Oh Killian, there you are. Just the man I was looking for,” Emma’s neighbor Mrs. Hubbard said when he was about to knock on Emma’s front door. He stilled at her appearance, offering her a smile despite her interruption. She was a kind woman, and one who Emma truly cared about so he would never show her any disrespect, no matter how desperate he was to see Emma.

“How can I be of service, ma’am?” He asked and the old woman waved away the title as she motioned for him to come inside her apartment.

“Step in here for a minute – I want to have a word with you, and I’d rather Emma not overhear.”

Killian hesitated for only a second but he eventually followed her, promising himself he’d make this as quick a stay as he could. At least he hadn’t had to buzz up to Emma. If he had he’d worry about making her wait, but as it was he was early still and had time to humor the old woman.

As he stepped into Mrs. Hubbard’s apartment, which mirrored Emma’s almost to a tee but with a vastly different style of furnishing, Killian tried to figure out how to approach this. He could arguably start with small talk and ease into whatever it was that Emma’s neighbor wanted, or he could come right out and ask. But before he could make a decision between the two, the older woman made her own plan very clear.

“I’ll get right to it: what exactly are your intentions with my Emma?” She asked and Killian tried to bite back a grin.

The woman was so serious, her face set in a stony form of straight-forward sincerity that struck Killian as real and true. Yet even if it was funny to think that Emma’s neighbor would be giving him this song and dance, it occurred to Killian that this would be one of the only people in Emma’s life he ever had such a conversation with. Of course he’d spoken to her friends about his love for Emma and had given his word to never hurt her, but Emma didn’t have a family outside of them, save for her curious, nosey neighbor.

It was in that moment, when Killian tried to look away just to gather his thoughts that he looked at the mantel in Mrs. Hubbard’s living room. There in the spots of honor were a number of pictures, many older with her and a man Killian assumed was her late husband. Some with women Killian would guess were her friends or relatives, and there was also one with someone he knew: there almost in the center was a photo of Emma and Mrs. Hubbard smiling together at the front of Bliss Boutique but before it was fully realized. There was still a ‘for sale’ sign in the window, telling Killian it must have been very early on in the process that she was there supporting Emma and her dreams.

“I know it probably sounds silly, but that girl has managed to make an old woman very happy by being exactly who she is. Not many people in the world have a heart like Emma’s, never mind in Manhattan.”

“On that point we agree,” Killian said, truly believing that Emma was a singular person with no equal anywhere in this city or beyond.

“She’s a fighter through and through for obvious reasons, but she is also a dreamer, and I want to see to it that all her dreams come true. The shop was a good start, but there’s more to life than work, even if we love it. Emma deserves a real family, and a man who chooses her every time. She’s had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime, and I won’t see her hurt again.”

The resounding strength in Mrs. Hubbard’s words were undeniable, and though many might look at her and see someone old and frail, Killian knew that if he so much as thought of stepping a toe out of line, she would make him pay. He could totally see her enacting some intricate ploy for revenge in the name of Emma’s heart and honor and crazy as it was, that thought brought a huge grin to his face. Because to be that severe in her declaration, she must love Emma a great deal.

“Emma is everything to me, ma’am. I love her and I will always love her. Any dream she has is a dream of mine as well, because all I want is to make her happy. If it were up to me I’d ask her for the rest of our lives tomorrow, but I think she needs a bit more time, and I’ll give her as much as she needs no matter how long it takes.”

Killian’s answer stewed there between them for a while, hanging in the air for a few moments before finally Mrs. Hubbard nodded and let a smile slip. Though Killian hadn’t needed her approval, he did feel a sense of relief at having garnered more of her support, and when she came over to take his hand in hers and pat it gently, he awaited some sage words of wisdom. But what he got instead was arguably better.

“Well alright then. Now just make sure that when you two move in together you don’t go too far away, and for God’s sake ask the girl to marry you before you call the movers. Maybe it’s old fashioned, but it’s tradition for a reason and Emma deserves for you to do this right. And I want a front seat at the wedding. None of that back of the church crap for me, you hear?”

Killian didn’t really know what to say except for yes, and the next thing he knew Mrs. Hubbard was shooing him out of her apartment and leaving him out there in the hall half stunned. He stood there contemplating how quickly that has escalated as Emma’s door opened up and the woman he loved came into view, taking up all his attention and fixation again instantly.

“You’re here,” she said happily and Killian’s chest flooded with pride. Damn right he was here, and he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Without so much as a word Killian moved into kiss her and Emma eagerly pulled him in closer, taking that offered kiss and helping it flourish into so much more. It was a revival of the truest kind, and with Emma in his arms Killian felt every last ounce of stress from his day totally disappear. By the time they’d pulled back Killian was totally at peace and feeling like nothing could touch him.

“Well that hello was definitely worth the wait,” Emma admitted, and Killian moved his hand to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear, noticing the way she tracked the motion and blushed the tiniest bit at the contact.

“Life would be so much easier if you were with me every moment, Swan,” he claimed totally honestly, but the words made Emma laugh and pull him back into her apartment.

“You say that, but you’ve never been with me dealing with a bridezilla before. I’m not exactly a ray of sunshine when a temperamental bride invades the shop.”

Killian knew what she meant with the metaphor, but what Emma failed to see was that she constantly brought light to his life. It wouldn’t matter if they were arguing or cranky or what have you. Having Emma near would always be better than the distance. That was a simple fact.

“Hopefully you didn’t have such a person in your charge today, love,” he said keeping hold of her hand as she led him towards the kitchen.

“No thank God. It actually ended up being a really good one and it came bearing an unexpected surprise.”

The question of what had brightened her world today was close to passing his lips when Killian noticed a stand in the corner of Emma’s living room with some sort of covered canvas. It was shoddily hidden to be honest, with maybe more tape than actual paper, but he knew instantly that this was the one thing out of place in her home.

“I take it there’s more to this evening’s plan than mere dining, Swan,” he said nodding in the direction of the unidentified item.

“Well there was always going to be more than mere dining,” Emma countered, this time with a tautness in her voice and a twinkle in her eye that told Killian she was purposefully insinuating the eventual seduction that would come after dinner. He moved closer to her, intent on bringing her into his arms and while she let herself be wrapped up in his embrace, Emma’s hand came to rest on his chest in a firm manner. “But we’re totally eating first. No distractions this time.”

“How about a compromise? You show me what’s under the sheet now and I follow the rest of your itinerary to the letter.”

Emma shook her head and bit her lip, not fully tamping down a smile as she did. There was a humor in her countenance and a rosiness to her cheeks that spoke to her enjoying this, but Killian could also see that she was firm in her desires. And if there was anything he had learned in recent weeks, it was that once Emma Swan set her mind to something, she would never easily be swayed. Not that he’d try to change it. If this element of mystery made her happy then far be it from him to keep her from that joy.

“Be patient,” Emma whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before pulling out of his arms and taking his hand to lead him to the table.

By now Killian and Emma had shared a number of meals together, and Killian had learned just how talented Emma was in the kitchen, but as per usual Emma blew him away. There was nothing that graced his plate that wasn’t delectable, and not a moment in the whole span of their dinner when he wasn’t thoroughly pleased with where he was and who he was with.

It felt to Killian like so many of their other dinners had before, where they were almost living through a snapshot of what a future for them could be like. He could picture coming home to Emma night after night and spending the evening in this way, or with take out camped in front of the TV. Truly all that mattered was the woman at his side, and the fact that she let him in, sharing parts of herself and her day as the meal progressed. In fact, that kind of contentment that came from sharing with Emma was so overwhelming that it enabled Killian to forget about the mystery painting entirely until Emma was leading him back into the living room for the big reveal.

“So two of these arrived at the shop today…” Emma said when she was just in front of the painting, with her hand still in his. “And one of them featured a picture from a source standing in this very room.”

“So this is from Aladdin then?” Killian asked aloud with a quizzical tone as he pieced the puzzle together.

“You look surprised,” Emma said and Killian nodded.

“I am. I only sent him one picture but you said you got two…”

“This isn’t one of me and my friends. It’s of you and me.”

“You and me?” Killian parroted and Emma nodded.

“That’s what they tell me. I thought I’d wait to look at it with you though. It only seemed right. But my friends got ahead of themselves, thus the beautiful tape adornments you see here.”

Killian chuckled at her humor, and ran his thumb across Emma’s knuckles in a light brush. He then brought her hand up to kiss gently, looking into her green eyes and seeing that same warmth that was nearly always there with Emma.

“Why don’t you do the honors, love?” He asked and Emma immediately obliged, tearing the paper again and revealing the intricate painting inside.

Killian knew going into this that the picture would be of him and Emma (and likely from the wedding since Jasmine and Aladdin had access to it), but he didn’t expect just how striking the image would be. The camera lens had been trained on the two of them dancing, and the expression on both of their faces was unshielded in any regard. It was clear as day that there was real love between them, and Killian found himself mesmerized by not only how beautiful Emma was, but how she’d been so free in that moment. There was nothing like a wall in sight, and he was on the receiving end of that look. It filled him with this sense of rightness that he couldn’t readily express, but he held her hand tighter in an unconscious attempt to tell her that he didn’t take her love for granted.

As with the other Street Rat originals he’d seen, there was another layer above the incredibly vivid photo and the aura surrounding Emma and him was similar to that one with the couple that had been so passionate in his exhibit at the gallery. But this time the colors were different. Now where there had once been crisp reds and bright orange, there were shades of blue that burned to white. It was amazing, and still the details went further than that, for Killian could see these tiny traces of gold that practically swirled off the page. It was tantalizing, and he could see at one moment three things – the ocean, a flame that burned brighter than before in the hottest shades of blue, and this overwhelming aura of serenity.

Bringing his gaze from the portrait to the woman who made all that love between them possible, Killian immediately saw the tears in Emma’s eyes. The sight of them pushed him to action, and in seconds his arms were around her and his lips were at her temple, brushing a gentle kiss there as he whispered his query.

“Are you alright, Emma?”

“Yeah,” she answered and nodded. “It’s just so real. It’s like the way I feel about you in every moment caught in one fleeting glimpse.”

“So it’s not just my dancing that provokes feelings of love on your behalf?” Killian teased and Emma laughed wiping away her tears as she shook her head.

“Hardly,” Emma whispered.

“Well that’s good to hear, for I simply don’t have the stamina to be dancing as often as I want your love.”

Both of them laughed at his ridiculous joke and then they came together for another kiss that felt just as gorgeous as that piece of art before them. Actually, Killian would argue it was better for the simple reason that he was living it. Yes, Aladdin had captured a glimpse of what Killian and Emma shared, but Emma’s words were right. This wasn’t a one time kind of thing. They were more than mere moments, and right now, right here, it was easy to feel that.

“So what are we going to do about this?” Emma asked when she stole her lips away again too soon for Killian’s liking. He took a second to leave the fog that kiss induced, but even when that was done he was still at a loss and his brow furrowed in response.

“I don’t take your meaning, Swan.”

“Well technically this picture – and the moment it depicts – belongs to both of us. But this isn’t exactly the kind of thing you share custody of. Unless you want to come grab it every other week…” Emma said, and though there was a humor in her voice, Killian could feel the underlying intensity she was feeling. It made him wonder if maybe she wasn’t thinking of moving things faster between them as he was. Could she be hinting at them moving in together? Or was he reading too far into this to satisfy his own wants? There was only one way to find out.

“I think I’d much rather let the painting stay right here, especially since I’m hoping a day will come when I can do the same.”

“Your lease is up in two months, right?” Emma asked, confirming to Killian that he’d been right on in guessing her meaning. He nodded, desperate to hear what she’d say next. “Maybe we should think about what to do before then.”

“Maybe we should,” Killian chorused before turning up the ante in the hopes of convincing Emma that in two months time they should be moving towards each other instead of staying as they were. His hands ran along her skin and his eyes dipped towards her lips as he fought the urge to kiss her. “And maybe I can show you tonight just what kind of future it might be, should we move in the direction I’m hoping.”

“I might need a lot of convincing,” Emma countered with a seductive smile and then Killian was pulling her into his arms and bringing her to bed, claiming that he had forever to make his case.

Post-Note: So like I said before it’s literally all fluff over here (which is just the way I like it). And yes – they are moving at lightening speed because it’s only been a few months and I am hinting at moving in together. But really what did you guys expect? I’m hardly the slow burn type, at least not really. Anyway I have some plans for the next few chapters and I am thinking that the proposal will be here maybe two chapters from now? Not entirely sure on that yet, but I do know I am so excited to keep this story going. Hope you all enjoyed and thank you so much for reading!

#captain swan #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan au #cs fic #cs ff #cs au #cs fluff #emma swan #killian jones #ruby lucas #elsa #mary margaret blanchard #tiana #mrs. hubbard #ouat au #wedded bliss and asterisks #wedded bliss au #wedded bliss 15

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the-merricatherine · 6 years ago

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It all starts with the children and with white women. Black Genocide wouldn’t work without white women, who are the hidden key to it. You know, we say genocide is a male military thing, men’s deeds alone: In Germany the gestapo in uniforms, with submachine guns, ordering all the Jews out of their houses into trucks and trains. There’s never any German women in the picture. But that’s not how genocide started, only how it ended. In Germany the campaign to wipe out the Jews began against the children. German women began organizing during the 1920s to stop their children from associating with Jewish children. Mothers warned their children to stay away from all Jews. Jews were characterized as not only 'subhuman' animals, but very dangerous criminals and perverts who wanted to get pure white children into their hands. It was white women’s mission, the Nazis said, to protect their families by keeping the 'Jew' away. Shoppers boycotts of Jewish stores and demands that Jewish children be sent to separate schools were conducted by German women. The movement to push Jews out of every part of German life began with children in the home, and as it gathered strength it extended to the schools, to blocks and then neighborhoods, to rural towns and small cities, then to workplaces. Only then did the government begin to strip the Jewish people of first legal rights and then of German citizenship. The Jewish reservations (death camps) were not the first but the last stage in a complex genocidal machinery. Violent attacks and terrorism against Jews, at first isolated incidents, grew in number over the years. Nazis shouted that they were only protecting German women and children, that Jewish criminality and animal-like behavior forced good Germans to defend themselves. The idea of violence against Jews began to be accepted as normal, just part of life. For years the police pretended to be trying to protect Jews (just like the u.s. police), although it could be seen that many more Jews and revolutionaries were being arrested than Nazis. After 1933 the police and the Nazis merged, with beating and killings of Jews being done under police protection. It wasn’t until nine years after that and 20 years after it all began, when the Jewish community had been already pushed out, dazed and ground down, in 1941, that death camps could begin. While German revolutionary women died trying to stop the Nazis, most German women either supported genocide or said that it was men’s affairs and had nothing to do with them. This was the position adopted by the middle-class white feminist movement. Striving for equal rights with their men was the program of the women’s movement, which argued that German feminists shouldn’t be distracted from their own concerns by what it defined as male political issues (genocide, fascism). And armed struggle against imperialism was viewed by the women’s movement with horror, as unfitting their view of the gentle, nonviolent nature of civilized white women (kind of like the delicate Southern belle and her mate, the slavemaster). Nazism was indeed a male movement, in which even Nazi women held a very subordinate position. But it was dependent upon women. It was women who made genocide possible. Not only were women men’s invaluable supporters, loyally taking care of their Nazi husbands and raising Nazi children, but they played the frontline role in the early stages of genocide. Without women’s help, active and passive, the Nazis could never have justified genocide as necessary for the defense of the white family and children. And how are amerikkkan women different from those German women? On April 20, 1987, a small brick house at 171-27 Gladwin Avenue, Fresh Meadows, Queens, was torched to stop the City from moving in six homeless 'boarder babies', who were presumed to be Black. Rita Amato, the woman who heads the local white citizens council, said happily: 'When I saw what happened to the house I was relieved.' Amato has since been arrested as one of the five who did the arson. Another white woman who lives across the street told reporters: 'Listen, we have nothing against babies. But the mothers, the dope addicts. My husband says, we will never be safe anymore. It’s nothing but dopists.' And the neighborhood white children have been taught to imagine how dangerous these Black infants might be. One sixth-grade girl at the local Catholic school thought it was a moral dilemma: 'It’s good, but it’s bad. Those babies could grow up to be rowdy teenagers. But then, they need to sleep somewhere–you know?' That was a lot better than the 11- year old boy who asked a reporter: 'Are they still going to be here when they grow up?' …What if they were, asked the reporter to whom he had posed the question. Richard shrugged: 'Well, I mean this is a peaceful neighborhood, not noisy. I mean, they’re not brats. Not really brats. But growing up without parents they wouldn’t be the same, you know?' Only 11 years old, and already he has been taught the twisted rationalizations for pushing Black people out. This is a big theme with white women, how they and their families are endangered unless Black people are kept far away. Black people, even infants, are said to be the aggressors. White people when they torch buildings and shoot and conduct hate campaigns are said to only be defending themselves. Like the Germans did. Building the public mood that excuses and prepares people to commit genocide. If even six Black infants without parents are too dangerous, what is safety? What is the logical conclusion? It’s even more interesting how some prominent white women have come out making excuses for the terrorists. Queens Borough President Claire Shulman said that it was the government’s fault for not reassuring the local homeowners that no adult Black people would be moved in: 'Otherwise, they imagine the worst. These are our people, our citizens. You can’t ride roughshod with them, and they’re afraid.' Lynda Spielman, chairperson of Community Board 7, said that the firebombing was caused by 'frustration' from the City’s high-handed attitude. Violent whites are again pictured as the victims not the criminals. Most interesting of all was 'feminist' newspaper columnist Beth Fallon in the New York Post. Her column stated that the real issue is tighter white control over Black people. This column was valuable precisely because it starts to take the wraps off: 'The City is being overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of people who are unable or unwilling to care for themselves or their children, and who abandon the latter to the care of the state… City officials have said that family visits, if any, and visits of prospective foster parents for these infants would be a neutral sites away from the home. It is the unscheduled visits that evoke part of the neighborhood’s fears, and it is these which should be met with immediate, effective control… The issue of control is really the deciding one… Staten Island, indeed, prefers to accept a prison site to sites for the homeless. More control is exercised at a prison, and the threat to the community is therefore perceived as less.' This isn’t hard to de-code: the government should reassure the white majority by 'immediate, effective control' of any Black persons who enter white areas. Perhaps by police passbooks, like in South Africa? Facilities for Black people should become more like prisons, for 'more control' is needed. Any uncontrolled Black people are a threat, and presumably white people are justified in defending themselves. And this is a woman newspaper columnist. It isn’t one journalist who is just loosely mouthing off. There’s a real convergence here. The New York Times has taken up the demand for more prison-like control over Black people. In an editorial about the'“NIMBY syndrome'('Not in My Back Yard'), the most influential newspaper in the u.s. has called for all new homeless shelters to include a built-in police station, so that homeless Black people would be under 24-hour police watch to reassure white people: 'What’s to be done to ease Nimby apprehensions? One response is to introduce a round-the-clock police presence in each of the new facilities. Storefront offices could serve as police sub-stations…' The welfare system and the prison system are really only one system. You should see now what the logical conclusion of this propaganda is, what it is pointing white people towards. Someday everyone will see it, but you should see it now. Time is a thing. If the white majority wants to push Black children out, do the welfare agencies and their group homes represent a decent white alternative? No, for the same reason that Malcolm X used to say that integration is not the opposite of segregation, only a different version of the same thing. In the wake of the firebombing, Mayor Koch rushed out to the Queens house to hold a public meeting. He told local whites, as press and TV surrounded him, that each white neighborhood must overcome its reluctance towards government facilities for Black poor and homeless: 'They all think they’re being asked to do more than everybody else. We are trying to spread the burden.' Beth Fallon and Mayor Koch are saying that Black people are too dangerous to have children. That white people and their government have to be in control over Black children. That Black children have to be taken away. And this is how the Jefferson Plan begins.

Butch Lee

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furiousharmonykryptonite-blog1 · 6 years ago

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"affordable quality insurance weslaco tx

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How do I cancel my Kaiser Permanente insurance?

A wise person once said you have to be the change you seek in the world. I am a fit young man that is fed up with the current health insurance scheme in the United States and want something like the system that Singapore has. My plan is to cancel my health insurance, save the money in a high yield savings account for emergencies and actually take a nice vacation every now and then. A vacation to a nice country would increase my overall health way more than health insurance. I will also take out catastrophic insurance for just in case I get into something my medical fund can't cover. It makes no sense for me to pay thousands of dollars every year into medical insurance when I haven't been to the doctor in over 2 years. Can I get my money back? My health is fantastic and I try very hard to keep it that way. I hate going to the doctor. The problem is my company is saying I am only allowed to make insurance changes once a year--in June! I think they have some sort of special deal with Kaiser. Is there anything I can do? I love my job and don't want to quit on principle.""

What kind of life insurance do I need for my mom?

My mom is already in life insurance but I want to know what kind of life insurance that is affordable to pay for by the month. We are not expecting her to die anytime soon but we want to be prepared?

""If I make a claim using my company car insurance, does that affect my personal insurance reputation?""

I recently got into a little fender bender using my company car. The other driver wasn't present, so I left a note. He called, and I followed through by filing a claim with the insurance company. I'm worried, though, that my personal insurance reputation/rating is going to be affected because of this claim with my company car. Any information you can provide would b helpful.""

Since the Democrats are forcing Americans to buy health insurance?

Should the next Republican administration and majority force Americans to buy and maintain firearms?

Motorcycle insurance full coverage!?

how much will it cost me? im 18 and im going to take the MSF course...my bike is a honda cbr 600rr 2005 i could i put my dad under my motorcycle? he is 50 and no tickets he had his m1 for like 10yrs but not no more

Tips for cheaper car insurance?

I'm 19 next month and just passed my test in October and now also got a pass plus certificate but insurance is still sky high like 4000 a year Just for a 1.2 Vauxhall Corsa sxi.

Is this a good insurance plan?

This is all so confusing. I'm getting married June 15th and have to find my own health insurance for the first time.. Any input would be great! The premium for this plan is ...show more

I desperately need auto insurance. i got my license like 6 months ago and i need cheap insurance?

as u guys probably kno, insurance for teens is ridiculously high!!.. the cheapest i got it was liek 215 a month.. but thats like.. no coverage. do any of u kno a good company or a good alternative way to legally have insurance which is not necessarily a monthly payment? (my friend told me about insuring mye license but im not too clear on how that works)""

affordable quality insurance weslaco tx

How do I help families not see life insurance?

How do I help families not see life insurance as a bill but rather protection for their family? I am on a crusade to help families become properly protected (create an immediate estate) in case of a loved ones untimely death. Of lately, prospects see life insurance as another bill. Although it is; can any life insurance agent please share with me how they get around to making sales in the life insurance industry? Thank you.""

What's the most you or anyone you know has ever paid for car insurance?

I'm asking cuz I now pay close to 400/month... It's like 396. - I have 3 accidents on my record (from like 2 1/2 years ago, only one was my fault). however I found out that all of them were listed on my insurance as my fault. Found out the insurance companies automatically assign fault unless you produce proof otherwise. Now one of them I got hit from behind, so that's easy to prove with police report. However, the other one guy ran red light and I hit his side. I think the police report has it as 50/50 fault since it really can't be proven either way, it's his word against mine who ran the light. Do you think I'll be able to fight that one??? I'm gonna go down to the police headquarters and get the police reports over the next few days, just wondering... Also how much would that actually save me? - My dad had a speeding ticket (90 in a 65) and he was listed as a second driver on my car, so that also brought it up. I'm going to remove him from my insurance since he rarely drives my car anymore, and has replaced his own car. - I have the defensive driving discount already. - I'm 26 years old female in NY. I drive less than 5 miles a day to work. And I drive a silver 2006 Saturn Ion in which I'm still making payments on, so I still have comprehensive. Based on all that, do you think I can find cheaper elsewhere. Where should I loook??? I feel like whenever I try to switch companies they give me a great rate on the phone, than all of a sudden after like a month or 2 being with them, my rates suddenly increase cuz they just found the accidents . I realize I don't have the greatest driver history in the world, but 400 just seems outrageous. I know people who pay less than that a year. I was thinking of selling my car, and getting a cheaper one w/ no payments on it, which would rid me not only of my car payment, but I wouldn't have to carry comprehensive anymore either. Problem is whatever I made from the car would have to go towards paying off the loan, and I would have no money to buy the new car... I feel so stuck, but I'm paying like 750/month between insurance/car payments, and I have a crappy job and can't afford it. Suggestions??? oh btw I use a local broker and autoone insurance""

Would a 2002 Mustang Coupe have high insurance?

I understand most sports cars cause a spike in insurance money for young drivers. Would a 6 cylinder 2002 Mustang for a young driver under your parents policy be much more expensive? If so, how much?""

Insurance needed to instruct/run archery?

Hi, If I want to run an archery activity for a school at an outdoor adventurous activity site, what insurance do I need? Cheers""

""I am a 19 year old male, what is the cheapest car insurance?""

I am a 19 year old male, what is the cheapest car insurance?""

How much does it cost to get insurance on a motorcycle?

whats the average cost? do you know the cost in vancouver, canada?""

Just wondering if there is any kind of insurance coverage for the victims of the tsunami?

It is a natural disaster. I know that in California there is earthquake insurance but very expensive. Do the Japanese have any kind of insurance protection? I'm sure there will be some kind of aid from the government but what about their losses? Thankful to be alive, I'm sure.""

What year vehicles require full coverage insurance?

im looking for a cheap insurance for the state of louisiana. im with progressive and pay 88.00 for liability uninsure motorist and road side assistance. i want an 08 or 07 car but cant afford to pay for full coverage(mean over 90.00) for insurance. By law are 07 and 08 vehicles required to have max coverage or just liability. only drvie veh to work and local shopping and bring mom to medical appointments. and are what kind of cars get low insurance rates(cars verses suv, two door verses 4 door red verses white)? any company suggestions looking to by chevy colbalt or suv kia sorrento.""

""Ear infection, No insurance?""

i got an ear infection, i dont have insurance. How much would it cost me to see a doctor for that and i live in mass.""

How much will my car insurance be?

I am a British student going to Florida to university and by the time I get there I will have just ( within the same month ) done my driving test . I am going there without any guardian and will pro ally buy some cheap car . How much will car insurance be. Ps don't just say Through the roof Or give me a link Just a plain simple awnser

What is the best type of life insurance to purchase?

I know nothing about life insurance but I would like to buy some to assure me and my kids will be taken care of in the event my husband passes. He only has one 1 issue which is Rheumatoid arthritis, otherwise in good health. . Me and my husband are both close to 50 years old. What is the best insurance to purchase? I know that term insurance expires. Does that mean if you do not pass within the term you do not get any money back that you have paid into it?. Thinking about a 250.000 dollar policy. Thank you.""

How much will insurance be for a dodge charger?

How much will it cost for insurance if I get my son a 2006 dodge charger? He is 16.

18 year old male trying to find the cheapest auto insurance in NY?

im trying to get it in my own name for the lowest price possible. but i really need help because i have quite the record. i dont need collision or comprehension coverage.... and i want state minimum bodily injury. i dont care what insurance or anything, just as long as i can slap a registration sticker in my window then i am happy. any help/advice is greatly appreciated. thank you""

Does having points on your liscence affect your insurance?

i am currently 20 years old, and have fully comp insurance costing around a grand... i am turning 21 soon but in the next few days am expecting to have 6 points on my liscense,, any opinions of how much i would be looking for fully comp renewal, or even for downgrade to 3rd party? thanks""

I need a good a affordable health insurance plan for a family of four?

In Massachusetts, I need an affordable health insurance plan ASAP""

No insurance on car used to drive child around in?

How can one go about handling the possibility that a child's non-custodial parent is driving their child in a car with no insurance. Recently, a friend of mine told me that if a parent has a car accident and a child in injured in a car with no car insurance, medical insurance won't cover expenses. Is this true? If it is, how do you suggest the custodial parent go about asking for proof of insurance from the other parent. The parents don't get along very well, and the non-custodial parent doesn't like to talk details with the other parent, even when she tries. My only thought was for her to give him notice of this policy and should something ever happen, try to hold him responsible for all expenses. Still, this does not handle the safety issue at hand. Any ideas? Simply asking the non-custodial parent to show proof would not work. His style would be I don't have to show you anything.""

Is it illegal to drive without car insurance?

My Sister has car insurance and she told me to take her to her destination, but i don't have car insurance under my name and im afraid that if i get pulled over for some odd reason and ill get busted for not having insurance.""

How much will a mg zr 1.4 be to insure?

im 17 and i know it want come over 4000 a year

How much will it cost to add me to car insurance?

how much will it cost for my parents to add me on there insurance? I know you can't give me an exact number but just a rough estimate. We have allstate and we have 2 cars but I will be added to my moms car a ford taurus not sure what year it is. I live in West Palm Beach, FL and I'm 17. Just an estimate or how much you think it will cost. Thanks guys!""

When you turn 21 how much dose your car insurance cost or goes down?

I'm 20 and my car insurance is going up because of my car tickets that i have gotten and my agent say that it will go down when i turn 21 but i like to know how much?

Advice on Insurance policys?

What policy's is best for someone in full time work - single - no kids -No debt.- rented Accommodation - in 30s How would you list these policy's of being important. There maybe a policy missed out if so please send me some advice.. Private Health Insurance Income Protection Life Insurance Accident, sickness and unemployment Private Pension Critical Illness Insurance""

Where Can I get Cheap Car Insurance?

I am currently a full time student and I am trying to find Car insurance that won't cost me an arm and a leg. The cheapest quote i have gotten is 2052 (full license) yet im certain i could get it cheaper... I am looking to get a Citroen Saxo, 3 door, as they are meant to be a good first car and cheaper insurance, yet i don't call that cheap! Direct line has put their prices for young drivers up to a minimum of 3000 and the car is only worth 850! I will be the main driver of the car, if not the only driver and as my parents have polices with companies that won't put me on as a named driver I'm screwed. Im 17 year old boy and can't really afford to pay that much.... Anyone know where i can get a reasonable quote from. I expect it to be high but that much - wow Best quote came from Quinn direct""

Will the cost of my car insurance decrease if I have a provisonal license?

My friend told me this but I think it's rubbish.. I am 17 next week and he told me that if I get a provisional license now and get all my lessons done/pass my tests and get my full drivers license, then wait until I'm 20 to buy a car, the insurance would be cheaper than if I passed my tests when I am 20 and buy a car straight away. (assuming I use the same company/ deals) Is this true or is he charting ****?""

Co-op Health Insurance?

Can anybody out there tell me how does Co-op Health insurance work. im researching for a paper in my finance class and cant find info elsewhere

What company offers the cheapest motorcycle insurance in Toronto?

I Want to buy a motorcycle around $ 5000 and wondering how much would be the insurance for the following motorcycles 2006-2009 Honda CBR RR 600 2006-2009 Honda CBR 125 How can I be able to get discount on my premium. I have a full M licence with no accidents for like 2 years. I live on Dufferin st close to bloor and I am 25 years old male Serious replies only please because having a car is too expensive for me.

affordable quality insurance weslaco tx

Car insurance problems?

so I have a little situation with my car insurance company, so heres the deal, I bought a car a wild ago, it was on my brothers name and I was cosigner, we had an nsurance and everything, but then it broke, I couldnt drive it, so we canceled insurance, why pay if it doesnt drive? then I refinanced it and transferred on my name, I didnt tell the bank that the car is broken, but they wanted me to show them proof of insurance, which I went out and bought, because Im going to trade this car in and get new one, and I have no problem paying for new car, but now insurance company wants me to send them a proof of previous insurance. what should I tell them, so my premium wouldnt go up? should I tell them that I just purchased the car? because technicly It went on my name recently. Im lost""

How much does car insurance cost?

looking into buying a first car. Which would probably have the cheaper insurance, and any ideas approx. how much for a 2001 Toyota Celica with 60-80k miles or a new 2012 Fiat 500? Driver is 18,female, new license, no tickets/accidents.""

Are private pilots required to buy insurance for their planes?

Adding teenager to car insurance?

I'm turning 16 in a few months and my parents said if i paid for the extra cost they would put me on their policy and i was wondering how much money it would be

My insurance and how it'll go up in September?

I just received insurance. I am a brand new driver 18 in about thirty days. Just now bought myself a car and just now got insured on my Grandparent's insurance.Currently now, it's only $48 a month, but the insurance man said that it'll go up in September. It makes sense, considering that right now I'm only paying a part of the package. So I understand that. With me being a new driver, how much will this all go up? Are we talking about $150? I did not take driver's ed, but I am eligible for the Good Student discount. I know you can't tell me directly, because neither could he. It all changes. But can anyone give me maybe a ballpark? I'm female. Good student. New driver. Thank you!""

Anyone know of affordable dental insurance for western Ky? ?

i need to have dental work done, but no insurance.""

What car insurance would one recommend that's good and not too expensive?

I currently have geico but paying too much and looking for something more of low cost,any ideas?""

Auto insurance : which company do you recommend?

We want to switch car insurance...our current one is so expensive! Any recommendations please?Thank you so much.

From whom can I get home insurance in Delaware if I own a Pit-bull?

How much does learning to drive cost roughly?

how much do driving lessons + car (800 - 1000) + insurance etc cost??? thanks :)

Pagani Zonda - how much to insure?

My hubby and I were watching Top Gear the other night and James May was testing the Pagani Zonda. Does anyone know, out of interest (or to be honest to settle an argument!) roughly how much the insurance premium would be on this type of car? Thanks!""

How much insurance money do you think i can get?

Seven weeks ago i got into a very bad car accident on the freeway. I'm 15 and was NOT driving. my 19 year old friend was driving. from the accident i was rushed to the hospital with a broken arm. my left arm was very badly cracked and they said in a week they will hit it into place then put it in a cast. so, a week later i went into surgery and there was complications and my arm snapped in half and so they cut open my arm and put in a 5 inch titanium plate and 7 pins. i just got my cast off after 4 weeks. my arm is in pain all the time. and i cant do much. how much money do u think i could recieve?""

Muscle Car Insurance Rates?

Well, I'm an 18 year old male and I've managed to stumble across a 1970 Plymouth Barracuda being sold for a reasonable price and in pretty good condition. It's been my dream car for a while and I was just curious if I can get some estimates on how much I'll be paying for car insurance? I live in British Columbia Canada if that makes a difference. I've taken driving school and I've heard good grades can lower rates as well, which I have. Oh yeah, its got a 440 4 bbl :). Thanks""

What is the best auto insurance company?

i live in Chicago, Il and whant 2 know the best auto insurance company.""

How much would insurance be for me?

I'm 16 and I've had my license for about seven months now. We've had financial problems so we've held off getting insurance. But, now we have a situation where I would need to drive the spare car to and from school. (I would only be driving a total of 16 times, 32 if you count round trips) It's a Hyundai 2010 Elantra, but I may also be driving the 2012 Mercedes C250. Would it be more affordable if I were to go under my mom's insurance? Possibly my father's? My parents are divorced. My main guardian is my mother, but my father only has had one car incident while my mom has had several. All, however, have been minor. And, separate question, but is it possible to only get insurance for a month? If so, I think I would be able to pay for it myself, but if not, I would need a fairly cheap insurance policy.""

Cheapest car insurance for 20 year old females?

im a new driver, 20, and female. i need car insurance! which would be the cheapest? i already looked at geico and esurance quotes, its $250 a month....""

16 year old male car insurance?

I am currently 15 and going to be 16 and getting my license . I am going to be driving a 1997 chevrolet corvette. Ik this is going to be exspensive but my parents are going to help alot. I was wondering about how much i would be paying?

Where can I get affordable health insurance in Arkansas??

Help deciding which sporty car or convertible?

I want a convertible or sporty car and am on a budget of $20,000. so I've got a few options that I have been considering. New Mazda Miata-I have heard great things about Miatas, the one thing I'm worried about is it maybe feeling a bit underpowered, although I am coming from a 2008 Honda civic sedan. how do those compare? Used Porsche Boxster-this would solve the potential underpowered problem of the miata, however I have heard a mixed bag of responses regarding the reliability of these, and I know that any repairs that are needed will be absurdly expensive. Used Honda S2000-this car seems great, the things that worry me are possibly a lack of low end torque, and I have never driven a manual before, and the other options can be found as automatics. Volkswagen GTI or Golf TDI-these seem like excellent cars, but the one downside is the lack of convertible top-I really like that open road feeling Mini Cooper S-This is sporty and can be a convertible, but I've heard bad things regarding reliability and parts/maintenance costs, also the interior seems to be disliked by alot of people. other pertinent info- I live in the Sacramento area, so weather problems shouldn't be as significant. How do the insurance costs compare of these 3? I'm 18 but have a clean driving record, good grades, etc Does anyone know how the fuel economy of these cars compare from experience? I know the EPA estimates, but real world mileage is different, especially because I'm an enthusiastic driver (I only get about 26mpg in my civic) One of the main things I want to know is how these will drive compared to each other and my current civic. Anyone with experience with multiple of these cars? any help or advice would be appreciated!""

Uk car insurance help?

hi i'm 18 years old and i'm getting a car, obviously it needs car insurance can you give me any tips on what to do to get cheap quotes... i'm currently the only 1 in the family that will actually drive, my mum doesn't drive, no dad and when i went to sites like moneysupermarket and confused.com all i get are 4,000 pounds up!!!! per year, dam its a lot more expensive than the car!!! and can u please explain to me what no claims discount is?? and which cover should i get, comprehensive or the other options thank you!""

Insurance Coverage for Motorcycle Helmet and Jacket?

I recently Just completed a claim for an accident I was in, The insurance (progressive) is going to reimburse me for the Jacket and Helmet. The Helmet has a little scratch on the lens and that's it. the lens is easily replaceable. the Leather Jacket has a light scuff on the arm. I spoke to the local claims representative and He said that he will come by and pick up the Jacket and Helmet and throw them away. I thought I was told with the when I bought the policy that I can do whatever I want with the Accessories, meaning I could throw them away or use them or fix them up. Now what I want to know... Is the Claims representative trying to get the Jacket and Helmet for himself or is this really Policy? to throw away $600 of equipment that's still in great shape and hardly used?""

What is the cheapest auto insurance?

Hi thanks for taking your time to answer this question... I have geico right now, but dont think its the cheapest insurance company I have... I dont really care if customer service is bad, as long as its cheap!!! so please tell me... WHATS A CHEAP INSURANCE COMPANY??? lol""

California motorcycle/moped laws?

Hello, I'm moving to california from florida in a month to start college, and I intend to sell my car here and get a moped or a motorcycle over there instead to save a little money. I don't know the laws on motorcycles there? i know in florida if its less than 50cc you don't need a motorcycle license or insurance. what about california? if you need insurance how much $/year are we talking? I don't know squat about motorcycles and I've never even rode one or understood the whole gears thing. if someone could recommend a few brands or even whether to get a motorcycle or a moped/scooter (is there a diff?) i have a tight budget (1-1.5K) any advice would be awesome!!!! <3""

Someone who knows car insurance accident?

If you have your underage (but legal) child under your insurance car policy and they get into an accident or hopefully nothing worse, can you as a parent be sued. Since you are the covering parent? (and also if you remove them, will this accident be permanently on your record that the child has had?""

Car insurance site for 18 year old !!?

does any body no of a decent car insurance for an 18 year old ?

affordable quality insurance weslaco tx

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/holton-kansas-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-66436-thomas-crisp/"

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kartiavelino · 6 years ago

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Mugshot Madness: Jeremy Webster’s Booking Photo Released by Westminster, Colorado Police

Westminster, Colorado police have lastly launched the mugshot of the person accused of taking pictures 4 individuals, together with a toddler who died, within the car parking zone of a dental workplace after a street rage incident Thursday afternoon (Jun. 14). 23-year-old Jeremy John Webster was arrested on homicide prices in reference to the lethal taking pictures that was the results of an alleged street rage incident. PREVIOUSLY: Colorado Man Accused of Capturing four Individuals, Killing a Little one, in Dentist Workplace Parking Lot Jeremy Webster is being charged with homicide within the first diploma after deliberation with intent, homicide within the first-degree with excessive indifference, assault within the first diploma, and felony try and commit a category one felony. He’s being held with out bond and is due in court docket on Monday (Jun. 18). Of the 4 individuals Webster opened fireplace on, three had been a mom and her two sons. The 41-year-old mom and her 8-year-old son are in vital situation, whereas the mom’s 8-year-old son died because of his accidents. An grownup male not associated to the victims was additionally concerned within the taking pictures. It’s believed he’ll survive. “When officers arrived on the scene, they discovered two adults and two youngsters, affected by gunshot wounds,” police stated within the information launch. “All 4 victims had been shot within the car parking zone of the enterprise complicated. There have been no further victims in any of the companies.” “An grownup male who was shot is anticipated to outlive his accidents. There isn’t a relation between this sufferer and the below-listed victims,” police stated. “An grownup feminine and her two male youngsters had been additionally struck by gunfire. The feminine and one of many youngsters sustained life-threatening accidents and are in vital situation. A juvenile male succumbed to his accidents.” Police stated the suspect didn’t know any of the victims, whose names haven’t but been launched. In keeping with the Denver Submit, no less than 20 individuals witnessed the taking pictures. One witness informed The Submit he “discovered a person affected by a number of gunshot wounds and his garments saturated in blood,” The person was “very coherent” and “very calm,” the witness stated. A reporter for Denver’s Contact 7 Information obtained a search warrant within the case that offered extra particulars into the taking pictures. It was revealed that Webster allegedly used a Glock 19 handgun within the taking pictures, and one of many mom’s sons (who was not injured within the taking pictures) described to police what occurred, saying that his mother “had some kind of altercation close to the intersection of Sheridan Blvd. and Turnpike Drive.” The unhurt boy allegedly informed police that Webster adopted his mom’s automotive into the car parking zone of the workplace constructing the place the shootings occurred and parked behind her automotive. A complete of three youngsters had been within the automotive—two of them had been shot; one of many two who had been shot died. The lady snapped an image of Webster’s license plate after which exited the automotive along with her youngsters, after which an argument ensued, DenverChannel.com reported. As Webster and the lady argued, witnesses noticed Webster pull out a handgun and shoot the lady “a number of instances,” in accordance with the warrant. The lady fell to the bottom, and Webster then turned to 2 of the boys and shot them each a number of instances, the affidavit stated. As Webster began to stroll again towards his automotive, he circled and shot one of many boys once more as he was mendacity on the bottom. The third baby was capable of run away from the scene with out being shot. After taking pictures the lady and her two sons, Webster made eye contact with a person in a distinct automobile—a pickup truck—together with his daughter. As Webster walked towards the person’s truck, he fired at it a number of instances, hitting the person in each arms. He was capable of put his truck in reverse and drive out of the car parking zone. Fortunately, his daughter was not injured. The lady’s 12-year-old son, who wasn’t injured within the taking pictures, was capable of describe to police in regards to the street rage incident and in regards to the photograph his mom took of the suspect’s license plate, which allowed officers to have the ability to observe the automobile to Webster, who was later apprehended on I-25 close to Fortress Rock. 9 Information reporter Katie Eastman stated she spoke with the proprietor of a automotive store close to the dentist workplace the place the taking pictures occurred. The store proprietor stated he heard round seven or eight “deliberate” gunshots and watched a person run down the sidewalk. The store proprietor stated he noticed police operating after the person after they arrived on the scene. Jeremy Webster reportedly waived his Miranda rights and admitted to the taking pictures. He additionally informed police that he suffers from “psychological well being points” and had simply began a brand new prescription remedy the day of the taking pictures. Webster knowledgeable police that his new remedy and the field for the handgun had been at his home. The claims about his psychological state and drugs haven’t but been independently verified past what the affidavit states. http://feeds.gossiponthis.com/~r/gossiponthis/~3/oNqXAN7CiuU/ The post Mugshot Madness: Jeremy Webster’s Booking Photo Released by Westminster, Colorado Police appeared first on My style by Kartia. https://www.kartiavelino.com/2018/06/mugshot-madness-jeremy-websters-booking-photo-released-by-westminster-colorado-police.html

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trendingnewsb · 7 years ago

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The Struggle to Predictand PreventToxic Masculinity

Terrie Moffitt has been trying to figure out why men are terrible for more than 25 years. Or, to calibrate: Why some men are really terrible—violent, criminal, dangerous—but most men are not. And, while she’s at it, how to tell which man is going to become which.

A small number of people are responsible for the vast majority of crimes. Many of those people display textbook “antisocial behavior”—technically, a serious disregard for other people’s rights—as adolescents. The shape of the problem is called the age-crime curve, arrests plotted against the age of the offender. It looks like a shark’s dorsal fin, spiking in the teenage years and then long-tailing off to the left.

In 1992, Moffitt, now a psychologist at Duke University, pitched an explanation for that shape: The curve covers two separate groups. Most people don’t do bad things. Some people only do them as teenagers. And a very small number start doing them as toddlers and keep doing them until they go to prison or die. Her paper became a key hypothesis in psychology, criminology, and sociology, cited thousands of times.

In a review article in Nature Human Behaviour this week, Moffitt takes a ride through two decades of attempts to validate the taxonomy. Not for girls, Moffitt writes, because even though she studies both sexes, “findings have not reached consensus.” But for boys and men? Oh yeah.

To be clear, Moffitt isn’t trying to develop a toxicology of toxic masculinity here. As a researcher she’s interested in the interactions of genes and environment, and the reasons some delinquent children—but not all—turn into crime-committing adults. That’s a big enough project. But at this exact cultural moment, with women of the #MeToo movement calling sexual harassers and abusers to account just as mass shootings feel as if they’ve become a permanent recurring event—and when almost every mass shooter, up to and including the recent school shooting in Parkland, Florida, has been a man—I’m inclined to try to find explanations anywhere that seems plausible. US women are more likely to be killed by partners than anyone else. Men commit the vast majority of crimes in the US. So it’s worth querying Moffitt’s taxonomy to see if it offers any order to that chaos, even if it wasn’t built for it.

“Grown-ups who use aggression, intimidation, and force to get what they want have invariably been pushing other people around since their very early childhood,” Moffitt says via email from a rural vacation in New Zealand. “Their mothers report they were difficult babies, nursery day-care workers say they are difficult to control, and when all the other kids give up hitting and settle in as primary school pupils, teachers say they don’t. Their record of violating the rights of others begins surprisingly early, and goes forward from there.”

So if you could identify those kids then, maybe you could make things better later? Of course, things are way more complicated than that.

Since that 1993 paper, hundreds of studies have tested pieces of Moffitt’s idea. Moffitt herself has worked on a few prospective studies, following kids through life to see if they fall into her categories, and then trying to figure out why.

For example, she worked with the Dunedin Study, which followed health outcomes for more than 1,000 boys and girls in New Zealand starting in the early 1970s. Papers published from the data have included looks at marijuana use, physical and mental health, and psychological outcomes. Moffitt and her colleagues found that about a quarter of the males in the study fit the criteria she’d laid out for “adolescence limited” antisociability; they’re fine until they hit their teens, then they do all sorts of bad stuff, and then they stop. And 10 percent were “life-course persistent”—they have trouble as children, and it doesn’t stop. As adolescents, all had about the same rates of bad conduct.

But as children, the LCP boys scored much higher on a set of specific risks. Their mothers were younger. They tended to have been disciplined more harshly, and have experienced more family strife as kids. They scored lower on reading, vocabulary, and memory tests, and had a lower resting heart rate—some researchers think that people feel lower heart rates as discomfort and undertake riskier behaviors in pursuit of the adrenaline highs that’ll even them out. “LCP boys were impulsive, hostile, alienated, suspicious, cynical, and callous and cold toward others,” Moffitt writes of the Dunedin subjects in her Nature Human Behaviour article. As adults, “they self-reported excess violence toward partners and children.” They had worse physical and mental health in their 30s, were more likely to be incarcerated, and were more likely to attempt suicide.

Other studies have found much the same thing. A small number of identifiable boys turn into rotten, violent, unhappy men.

Could Moffitt’s taxonomy account for sexual harassers and abusers? In one sense, it seems unlikely: Her distinction explicitly says by adulthood there should only be a small number of bad actors, yet one of the lessons of #MeToo has been that every woman, it seems, has experienced some form of harassment.

Meta-analyses of the incidence of workplace sexual harassment vary in their outcomes, but a large-scale one from 2003 that covered 86,000 women reported that 56 percent experienced “potentially harassing” behaviors and 24 percent had definitely been harassed. Other studies get similar results.

But as pollsters say, check the cross-tabs. Harassment has sub-categories. Many—maybe most—women experience the gamut of harassing behaviors, but sub-categories like sexual coercion (being forced to have sex as a quid pro quo or to avoid negative consequences) or outright assault are rarer than basic institutional sexism and jerky, inappropriate comments. “What women are more likely to experience is everyday sexist behavior and hostility, the things we would describe as gender harassment,” says John Pryor, a psychologist at Illinois State University who studies harassment.

Obviously, any number greater than zero here is too high. And studies of prevalence can’t tell you if so many women are affected because all men harass at some low, constant ebb or few men do it, like, all the time. Judging by reports of accusations, the same super-creepy men who plan out sexual coercion may also impulsively grope and assault women. Those kind of behaviors, combined with the cases where many more accusers come forward after the first one, seem to me to jibe with the life-course persistent idea. “Sometimes people get caught for the first time as an adult, but if we delve into their history, the behavior has been there all along,” Moffitt says. “Violating the rights of others is virtually always a life-long lifestyle and an integral part of a person’s personality development.”

That means it’s worth digging into people’s histories. Whisper networks have been the de facto means of protecting women in the workplace; the taxonomy provides an intellectual framework for giving them a louder voice, because it suggests that men with a history of harassment and abuse probably also have a future of it.

Now, some writers have used the idea of toxic masculinity to draw a line between harassment, abuse, and mass shootings. They’re violent, and the perpetrators tend to be men. But here, Moffitt’s taxonomy may be less applicable.

Despite what the past few years have felt like, mass shootings are infrequent. And many mass shooters end up committing suicide or being killed themselves, so science on them is scant. “Mass shootings are such astonishingly rare, idiosyncratic, and multicausal events that it is impossible to explain why one individual decides to shoot his or her classmates, coworkers, or strangers and another does not,” write Benjamin Winegard and Christopher Ferguson in their chapter of The Wiley Handbook of the Psychology of Mass Shootings.

That said, researchers have found a few commonalities. The shooters are often suicidal, or more precisely have stopped caring whether they live or die, says Adam Lankford, a criminologist at the University of Alabama. Sometimes they’re seeking fame and attention. And they share a sense that they themselves are victims. “That’s how they justify attacking others,” Lankford says. “Sometimes the perceptions are based in reality—I was bullied, or whatever—but sometimes they can be exacerbated by mental health problems or personality characteristics.”

Though reports on mass shooters often say that more than half of them are also domestic abusers, that number needs some unpacking. People have lumped together mass shootings of families—domestic by definition—with public mass shootings like the one in Las Vegas, or school shootings. Disaggregate the public active shooters from the familicides and the number of shooters with histories of domestic abuse goes down. (Of course, that doesn’t change preposterously high number of abused women murdered by their partners outside of mass shooting events.)

What may really tip the mass shooter profile away from Moffitt’s taxonomy, though, is that people in the life-course persistent cohort do uncontrolled, crazy stuff all the time. Yes, some mass shooters have a history of encounters with law enforcement, let’s say. But some don’t. Mass shootings are, characteristically, highly planned events. “I’m not saying it’s impossible to be a mass shooter and have poor impulse control, but if you have poor impulse control you won’t be able to go for 12 months of planning an attack without ending up in jail first,” Lankford says.

Moffitt isn’t trying to build a unified field theory of the deadly patriarchy. When I suggest that the societal structures that keep men in power relative to women, generally, might explain the behavior of her LCP cohort, she disagrees. “If sexual harassment and mass shootings were the result of cultural patriarchy and societal expectations for male behavior, all men would be doing it all the time,” Moffitt says. “Even though media attention creates the impression that these forms of aggression are highly prevalent and all around us, they are nevertheless still extremely rare. Most men are trustworthy, good, and sensible.”

She and her colleagues continue to look for hard markers for violence or lack of impulse control, genes or neurobiological anomalies. (A form of the gene that codes for a neurotransmitter called monoamine oxidase inhibitor A might give some kids protection against lifelong effects of maltreatment, she and her team have found. By implication not having that polymorphism, then, could predispose a child raised under adverse circumstances to psychopathology as an adult.) Similarly, nobody yet knows what digital-native kids in either cohort will do when they move their bad behavior online. One might speculate that it looks a lot like GamerGate and 4chan, though that sociological and psychological work is still in early days.

But for now, Moffitt and her co-workers have identified risk factors and childhood conditions that seem to create these bad behaviors, or allow them to flourish. That’s the good news. “We know a lifestyle of aggression and intimidation toward others starts so young,” Moffitt says. “It could be preventable.”

Read more: https://www.wired.com/story/the-struggle-to-predictand-preventtoxic-masculinity/

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fierceandunordinarydiva · 7 years ago

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“It’s not right But it’s okay I’m gonna make it anyway Close the door behind you Leave your key I’d rather be alone than unhappy” – Whitney Houston One of my favorite things to see, is women celebrating the successes of other women. It’s actually brought me to tears when I have seen it happen in front of me. When my daughter was about 17 or 18, I sat in on a parent watch day at her ballet school. As the girls waited their turns to watch each other fly and twirl across the room, snaps and a few claps rung out when someone did well, but mostly there were standard and even as a courtesy, clearly a guarded but kind support of each other. It’s a competitive industry, I get that. There was however ONE girl, a lovely, beautiful strong dancer, who seemed to have a secure sense of self as she stood there. And as my daughter flew across the room and nailed a triple pirouette and the courtesy snaps began, this girl bursted with praise, saying her name and acting like a proud big sister and said “That was amazing, you are beautiful, so proud of you!” I was watching and I started to cry. WHY did I cry!? OF COURSE it was because it was sweet, and I was a proud mom, but part of the reason it touched me, was because between women, THIS IS RARE. Apathy to veil competition is more more prevalent on the daily or worse, shaming and bullying. WHY is it so hard for us to celebrate and cherish each other?

The term “Slut-shaming” is broad, but it’s what I want to discuss or attempt to. A large portion of society thinks it is reserved for a specific group of women making certain choices. I actually see the term covering a bigger range of people. Young girls, teens, young women, middle aged women as well as older women. It affects us all. Over the years, I have been a part of and witnessed women shaming other women, across all parts of life and spectrums. I want to dig into to where it starts, and try to pose some questions that will spark discussions, so each of us can try to figure it out for ourselves.

The Younger Years

I feel as though female shaming for lots of us in the 30 or older generations, started in the home. It was part of the baby boomer generation of our parents. The modest era. It was textbook. Men can express their sexual freedom and physical security, and not be shamed; women cannot for fear of being shamed and called a whore or a slut. Growing up I heard things like,

“You can’t watch that, it’s too risqué” “No makeup until you are older, or you will look like a hooker” “You cannot leave the house like that” “If you wear that skirt you are asking boys to see you as a sex machine” “You should probably cover up, you don’t want guys to get the wrong idea”

What is the “wrong idea”? I have always been confused as to why my choices in attire should somehow also include the sensitivity to the men or boys around me that weren’t able to control themselves. Their issues somehow overrode any feelings I had of pride in my body or excitement about slaying an outfit I was wearing. Instilling a fear that I may be mistreated, harassed or raped because of my clothing, putting the accountability not on the other person, but rather on the girls with their choices in clothing. Parents, what message are we giving to our girls, when we say these things?

I do believe that the parents of my generation and beyond, are working to change these behaviors, but it’s a SLOW process. There are a few factors that contribute to the speed of this changing – mainly because the generations before that were RAISED this way, are now running our country and mostly white, misogynistic men in power. They are making and enforcing rules in offices and schools, they are bribing and paying off sexual abuse incidents so they will go away, they are making laws about our bodies and taking our rights away. That in itself is harmful to any parent or child trying to change the path of their body consciousness and self-worth.

The Teen Years

Middle school and high school are some of the hardest years EMOTIONALLY for everyone. Your hormones are raging, you are trying to fit in, you are clashing with your parents or guardians, life is a hot mess and then add pimples and braces and good lord, I never want to go back to that time ever.

“I’m bossy/ I’m the first girl to scream on a track/ I switched up the beat of the drum” — Kelis

I experienced a lot of shaming from girls in school. At the time I saw it as cruel and mean. I look back now as a mother and an adult, and see it as sad and systematic. We all lashed out because of insecurity and inadequacy issues. We took the shaming most of us had in our homes, and when faced with the ultimate vulnerable situation aka High School, we came armed with weapons. What better than to harm others with than what harmed you – surely those will work! Every girl in high school is struggling with so many things, and for some reason, the females around them are the only ones they find safe to lash out at. The boys around them are comparing them to other girls or worse photoshopped ones in magazines and movies. Young girls see that and we immediately let it affect our self-worth, let it define us. And all at once the battle for unattainable perfection begins, and the meter to measure our progress is set by the women and girls that surround us.

“To love ourselves and support each other in the process of becoming real is perhaps the greatest single act of daring greatly.” – Brene Brown

Right now, mainly girls, in public schools all over the country, are being sent home because of what they are wearing. Sleeveless shirts, skirts too short (but not cheerleaders cause you know, that’s ok…) ripped jeans, the list goes on. The main reason the administration says is because “Wearing those things is DISTRACTING to others in class”. On the evening news here recently, there was a local high school, reporting that students were being sent home for ripped jeans. The group asked to go home was outside of the school with the news reporters. The reporter asked one of the girls outside the building, why they were being sent home. This young girl had a brilliant and calm reply: “They say our jeans are distracting, so they are taking us out of class when in reality, what is really distracting is taking us out of class and not letting us learn.” She is my new favorite human – her parents should be proud.

Young Women – we are adults, KIND OF

Finally we are out of that competitive horrible judgemental place and we can get on with our lives, AMIRITE!? Oh wait. The real world is just as bad…there is just sugar put on things to make them seemingly easier to handle or ingest.

Now we have to deal with shaming in the workplace or in college life. With pressure of what we wear or what we don’t wear. Social media adding an ENTIRE new cog in that wheel, so things like adult videos and nude photography – will also come into play. In preparation for this post, I made a call out to hear other women’s stories. I got a few public replies but it was the several private ones that were shocking. There were women being asked to wear certain types of shirts and bras in their office, as to not be distracting to the men on staff. This HAS to be illegal. But of course no one does anything. It’s seen as okay in schools and places of business because it is shelved under “employee rules” or “Codes of Conduct”. There was a young woman who was a nanny and wore a hip cute bikini to the YMCA and was told by staff they were getting comments from other mothers and that she had to cover up if she came back. How humiliating! There was a woman who was told if she wore white, and her bra was visible, she must wear a tanktop underneath, as to not tempt. These stories were infuriating to me. How on earth is this still happening and being excused? How about you not hire humans that can’t be adults and control themselves. On that note, let’s touch on how it makes us feel, when a young adult woman makes the choice to be a stripper, escort or prostitute.

Treat ’em like a prostitute (Do What?) Don’t treat no girlie well until you’re sure of the scoop – Slick Rick

Several months ago, I had a conversation with a friend of my daughters via Facebook. ��She made a post about the slut shaming and revenge porn backlash about social media celebrity Blac Chyna. It was over a dirty break-up and her ex decided to shame her revengefully by sharing private nude photos of her, and a private intimate video of them – putting it into the world for all to see without her permission or knowledge. This young girl said in her FB post something to the effect of (she has since deleted the post or I would quote it) “Don’t know why Chyna is so mad at those nude pics being leaked, she’s is a stripper, she does it anyways. You act cheap you get treated cheap”. I decided it was important that I start a dialogue with her publically about this. Ok I am not being honest, I was mad – and I LAID into her. Spouting so many details and points, I am sure her head spun. Her response was “She is a ho, so that’s why she is being treated that way. She needs to respect herself so others will respect her”.

It felt fundamentally wrong to hear that statement come out of a woman’s mouth. There is a GIGANTIC difference between being confident in your body, and choosing to do a job that gives you control over that body – and another human, male or female, taking that power away from you in order to harm or shame you. This young girl isn’t alone, I see different versions of this ALL OVER the media and around me. How often as a woman have you heard or even said these statements (don’t worry, I am guilty of some, too):

“She needs to put some clothes on, no one wants to see all that”

“Did she paint those jeans on?”

“People with asses like that should not wear pants like that”

“She really should get her money back for purchasing so little fabric”

“What is she even wearing!?”

“How did her friends let her wear that?”

Ladies. We have to do better.

ADULT WOMEN – Now we are MOTHERS, raising NEW WOMEN!

So we take what we learn, unlearn ourselves and are determined to raise a more independent, more confident and more secure woman in our own daughters, RIGHT? Wrong. You know that old adage “We grow up to become our mothers”? Well, it drives me crazy, as I have worked my ass off to be the exact opposite of my mother and how I was raised. However it still happens. The insecurities and prudish ways of my mother peeked through out of sheer fear of putting my sweet daughter into the rough misogynistic world! It was about me doing what those girls in high school resorted to. I was worried that she would be hurt, judged and shamed, so I took every measure to make sure it didn’t happen. When Madison was 11 she wanted to wear makeup. I was horrified. She already had girls at school teasing her. WHAT is she thinking, that would surely make it worse!

It was then that my husband gave me that cabin pressure/airplane landing moment, he said “You are doing exactly what your mom did to you when you act like this. And you grew up, had issues with friends and with your body because of it. How about you do the opposite. Let her explore. Let her find herself and feel beautiful in her way. Let her find her own way and support her regardless.” And with his help and reminders, that’s what I did. And it WORKED.

I recently witnessed an exchange on professional ballerina Michaela DePrince’s instagram when she posted a photo where she was partially topless. There was a comment from a Dance Mom – whose young daughter is a fan of DePrince. It was a shaming comment to make her feel badly about posting a photo that was partially topless and she told her to have more “self respect” and that it made her not want her daughter to see it. DePrince’s response was so lovely and strong. It was exactly how I hope this next generation of women would respond to shaming by another female, or anyone for that matter. But alas I know that sadly, Michaela’s reply isn’t the norm, YET.

Why do we as parents automatically shame the female when we feel that something is different, too expressive or god forbid, scandalous? We need to challenge ourselves and each other to take a step back, to not react impulsively, to resist the urge to immediately degrade the choices of females. I am so concerned as to why our first instinct isn’t praise, support and love and I am convinced that we need to start training our minds to start making that change.

Doesn’t it seem like since day one for each of us, we have been competing for the same thing? The approval and appreciation of what society thinks the perfect woman is. Goals of having the words “Perfect” and “full package” being used to describe us. Some of us even find men that says things like “Arm candy” and “Dime piece” or even “Prize” to make us feel worthy and loved.

My fear is that this typical woman, who needs this approval, grows up to excuse an abuser. She is a victim of sexual assault, or even worse. I grew up with some many instances that were discussed here, and I KNEW it wasn’t right, but it was ok and excused by everyone around me, so after awhile, it became acceptable. This week in the news, Hollywood mega mogul and producer Harvey Weinstein was accused of sexual assault by numerous actresses. Tons of fellow actors coming to the support of their fellow actresses on social media. Then yesterday, designer Donna Karan of DKNY was quoted at a fashion event when asked about it and came out to defend Weinstein and blame the victims. “You look at everything all over the world today and how women are dressing and what they are asking by just presenting themselves the way they do. What are they asking for? Trouble.” This is a woman who designs sexy women’s clothing. I spat at the TV. I also have a DKNY bedspread now up for grabs if anyone wants it.

THIS is what this entire post is about. THIS is where our problem is. Are we giving the next generation of women the tools to combat this type of rape culture blaming? Do all women know their value and worth – are we able to bind together to be a united front when the victim shaming and rape culture blame comes at them full force? I know that the young women of my generation were not able to do that.

I am however hopeful of this next one, because now we are seeing small light coming through the cracks in the once broken spirit of women, a confidence in the new generation of females. Young women that are fierce, that are proud of their bodies, that are not afraid to stand up to a man or an organization to protect their rights. Women that don’t ask how they look in their dresses or if their ass looks big, but instead they own the dress and the ass and give zero fucks what people think of them in it.

Hopefully these young, powerful and body-conscious females can use that security and tenacity to bind together and bond with the women around them. We can show solidarity, love and support rather than apathy, competition and cruelty. To realize that celebrating our female coworkers, peers, friends or even family members, doesn’t mean we are any less fierce ourselves. Celebrating and cherishing the women around us will just create a more powerful sense of self, and a camaraderie that cannot be bought or faked, and will give us a shield and superpower to properly deflect the misogyny in everyday life. It will create a new normal filled with the Alpha Female – taking our rightful place equally among the men in our society and lives.

It’s Not Right, But its Ok… "It's not right But it's okay I'm gonna make it anyway Close the door behind you…

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