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birlcholtz · 8 years ago

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Ch. 8: come home (to you, to us)

ao3 | ch. 1 | part of the zimbits airport au

About half an hour later, Bitty hears the garage door open and close, and then Coach and Suzanne’s muffled voices. Nobody comes upstairs to find him, so he disregards it and goes back to rambling in the old group chat that Shitty had insisted on keeping around— even once he, Lardo, Ransom, and Holster had graduated and Bitty was the only group chat member still at Samwell, Shitty claimed it was ‘his duty’ to give them updates on what was going on.

Bitty: i mean what am i even supposed to do now that i don’t have hockey as motivation to exercise

Bitty: running is gross

Bitty: punching bags are just.... ew, not good

Bitty: weights are meh

Bitty: i can’t just do squats???

Ransom: well jack’s solution to that problem was to join a pro hockey team

Bitty: i’m not getting paid to exercise

Holster: u should like

Holster: join an amateur league

Holster: or smth

Lardo: dude just accept that you can’t afford a car and public transportation is expensive and you’re gonna have to walk everywhere

Lardo: gettin those 10000 steps a day

Lardo: millennial exercise

Shitty: stop being depressing in the group chat LARDO

Shitty: (but she’s right)

Bitty: ew reality

Ransom: can u get a gym membership?

Bitty: not until i have money

Holster: burn calories by running away from your problems

Holster: zoom

Shitty: hOLSTER

Holster: shits ur literally still in school u don’t have to deal with this yet

Shitty: truE BUT STILL

Holster: u small bean

Shitty: ...bitch???

After that, the group chat moves at lightspeed, and Bitty’s content just to sit back and watch it happen. He counts no less than eight invocations of Holster’s age and size advantage and three of Shitty’s mustache. It’s only when there are soft footsteps in the hallway and a knock on Bitty’s door that he realizes how long he’s been sitting there watching his fellow alums (oh God) descend into a near brawl.

“Hey, Dicky,” his mother says when he gets up and opens the door. “Dinner’s ready, if you want it now. If not, we’ll save some for you and you can heat it up when you’re hungry. Your father told me you’re having a rough day.”

Bitty sighs. “It’s been a trying one,” he offers, and Suzanne nods in acknowledgement. He takes the now-empty plate of pralines, since there’s no point in leaving it in his room, and they walk downstairs in silence.

Dinner is interesting in that it’s so different from usual. Suzanne is willing to avoid making Bitty talk, but for once it’s Coach who carries the conversation. He carefully steers it away from Bitty at every opportunity, which is nice of him, but Bitty is completely verbal, he’s just... well, he’s tired. The tears left him feeling dried-up, almost, and Bitty doesn’t have enough energy to be emotional. He probably should’ve taken a nap before dinner, but it’s too late now. He can just go to bed early and hope that sleep serves as a reset of some sort— maybe he won’t wake up feeling so drained.

“Oh, and I’m hoping you can tell me what happened to all of those pralines that we made,” Suzanne says to Coach with a faint smile as she takes the third-to-last piece of garlic bread. “Funnily enough, a lot of them seemed to have vanished by the time I got home.”

“That was mostly me,” Bitty speaks up. His parents glance over at him in surprise, probably because he hasn’t been saying anything. “But Coach started it.”

When Suzanne looks over at Coach to confirm or deny that, he just shrugs.

“Well, alright then,” she says, and moves on while Bitty is still wondering if he should take the opportunity in front of him. She’s asking Coach about the plans for new locker rooms at the high school before he can say anything else.

Bitty finishes his food in silence, and then sits and stares at the table, not wanting to go to bed with the prospect of telling his mother still hanging over his head, but not wanting to say the words either. There’s no lead-in this time, no convenient discussion of roommates that he can use to bring it up. So how?

Coach must have assumed that Bitty’s not going to tell Suzanne tonight, because he’s still determinedly talking at length about how the team will have more locker space to store their gear. He’s only just started extolling the virtues of the new lighting when Bitty folds up his napkin and sets it neatly on the placemat. When he stands up, both of his parents look at him in surprise, and the force that he pushed his chair back with probably was surprising.

Bitty picks up his plate and cup to take to the dishwasher before saying, “Mom, I’m gay.”

The words come out calmer than he’d expected.

Suzanne blinks.

“I’m gay,” he repeats. “And I’m dating Jack Zimmermann.”

Then he puts his cup and plate in the sink and goes up to his room and shuts the door and sits on his bed and squeezes Señor Bun’s paw with one hand while he unlocks his phone with the other and composes three texts and sends them off.

The first one is to last year’s starting line. Chowder, Nursey, Dex, Whiskey, and Tango. Bitty reserves more personal things for this group chat instead of the team-wide one— not just because he was the captain, but also because there are only so many people he actually wants to vent about his life to. Hey y’all, just came out to my mom, send good vibes my way pls.

The second is to the same alumni groupchat that only just finished calming the fuck down. sooo now my mom knows im gay and that i have a boyfriend, am currently waiting in my room hoping that when i come back down things will be ok. left b4 she cld react.

The third is to Jack. told my mom, went to my room without waiting to see how she reacted. gonna go back down and see what the fallout is in like half an hour. i have a bag packed just in case, i’ll let you know if i’m coming over.

Jack responds immediately, as do other people who’d gotten one of his first two texts, but Bitty answers Jack’s first.

Jack: I have a rental car if you need a ride. Just let me know.

Bitty: i don’t think i will, but i’ll call and give u an update once i know more

Bitty: rn i’m just killing time

Jack: I’ll call you in an hour to check in if I don’t hear from you before then.

Bitty: talk to u in a lil bit

The two group chats that he’s texted have blown up over the course of his short conversation with Jack, mostly expressions of hope from the frogs and tadpoles and calm texts from the other alums meant to reassure. Bitty sends the frogs and tadpoles a quick thank you before turning to the other group chat.

Bitty: i have a contingency plan if things go horribly bad

Bitty: but my dad is ok w it

Bitty: so im giving him and my mom time to talk before i go back down there

Lardo: i think that’s a good idea

Holster: Pls. keep us updated about what’s happening.

Holster: Ransom is in the shower but he says if you need help w. anything hit us up.

Holster: (I concur)

Lardo: same, i already said u can crash on our couch, it’s ok if u want to stay here for a while

Lardo: but if ur dad is fine w it then i’m sure ur mom will be too

Shitty: ^^^^^

Shitty: dw

Shitty: #smhgotyourback

Holster: shitty i have been a college graduate for over a year and i’m crying over a gd hashtag.

Holster: why

Shitty: u know it’s true brah

Bitty’s stomach hurts when he walks downstairs, nauseous anticipation. He feels tense. His shoulders are hunched practically up to his ears.

He drops his bag in the front hallway before turning and walking into the kitchen. Suzanne and Coach are there, still sitting at the table. There are three glasses of sweet tea. Without that clue, Bitty wouldn’t have thought that they’d gotten up at all.

“Please sit down, Dicky,” Suzanne says when she sees him standing in the doorway.

Bitty sits, and for a little while, that’s what they do. Sit in silence. Until she sighs and says, “I will admit that whenever I pictured my future family, I always thought that my child would be straight.” She looks tired. “Although I can’t say I’m exactly surprised, either.”

Coach takes a sip of his tea.

“I’m not going to pretend to understand, because I don’t,” Suzanne says. “But I love you. You’re still my son, Eric Richard Bittle Junior. You still bake and you still skate and you’re still going to Boston to find a job in a week. None of that has changed.”

“No, it hasn’t,” Bitty agrees quietly.

“And I don’t want you going halfway across the country thinking I don’t love you, or you’re disowned, because neither of those things are true. I won’t lie to you and say it’s a great idea to tell the rest of the family— I’m sure you’ve already thought about that— but when it comes down to it, family you see twice a year aren’t as important as family you’re with every day, and I’m sure you know that too.” She drinks some of her tea. “I just hope that home doesn’t become such a painful place for you that you can never come back. Even if it’s just for a visit.”

“I haven’t left yet, Mama.”

Suzanne sniffs. Coach silently gets up and brings back a box of tissues, setting it on the table equidistant from his wife and his son. “That is true, isn’t it. I’m not letting you leave without trying that pot roast.”

Bitty smiles a little. “I don’t think that’ll be a problem.”

Bitty: it went ok

Chowder: that’s great!!!! congratulations!!!!!!!

Nursey: good to know

Tango: are u still coming up to mass. for the summer or are u staying there??

Bitty: still coming to boston!

Dex: see you soon then!

Whiskey: :) :) :)

Bitty: she’s not thrilled but she’s ok w it

Lardo: fuckin called it

Holster: excuse u u did not call anything

Lardo: umm yes i did???

Ransom: that’s good to hear bitty, we’re v happy for u except holster is busy being irritated at lardo? apparently?

Shitty: congrats brah, that’s a big thing you just did

Shitty: totally celebrating when u get here

Bitty: so overall everything went fine, my mom is not exactly ecstatic but she’s happy i told her

Bitty: oh and my parents want to meet u since i mentioned u were staying in madison for a little while?

Bitty: ur officially invited to the bittle residence on tuesday for pot roast

Jack: I’ll be there. How do you feel?

Bitty: lighter i guess?

Bitty: it hasn’t sunk in that i’m rlly out to both of my parents and it went ok

Jack: It’ll sink in eventually.

Bitty: yup

Jack: And you also never have to come out to your parents again.

Bitty: that’s a definite plus

Jack: Go to sleep early okay? You sound exhausted.

Bitty: i am

Bitty: yeah i’m gonna do that now. gn, ttyl, love you <3

Jack: I love you too. <3 <3 <3 <3

Jack: Talk to you tomorrow.

Bitty: :)

Jack: :-)

#my stuff #omgcp #airport au

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