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hemipenal-system · 6 months ago

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so uhh this became something because sometimes i get writer brainrot

Sagitta smiled, spinning once on the stool. The pleasant coolness of the finger-sized NCB jack slipping into the back of her neck, right at the base of her brain stem, always had a relaxing effect on her.

She only had the one connection. Being a contractor meant she never had any access to any of the new state of the art military rigs. Instead, she got to run a modified construction suit from 30-odd years ago. CHRYSALIA-class rigs were almost entirely analog control, so the only thing her brain was actually connected to was the sensory array and basic movement on the mech. Everything else, she had to do manually by fiddling with a dizzying arrangement of knobs, switches, warning lights, gauges, and sliders.

She'd only fought in the one battle. Geskheris, in '08 - one of the minor ones no one ever remembered from the Actu Conflict. She'd taken a direct hit with a bunker buster, and she was mostly fine - kinetic dampeners came standard even on construction mechs - but the rig was totaled and one of her arms took some pretty serious structural damage. On her human body, not the mech. Back in the day, she had struggled to separate them, like most Pilots did.

She hadn't been able to go back - not to combat, anyway. Besides, she didn't actually enjoy it all that much. But NCB jack removal was, at the time, an incredibly dangerous surgery, and she needed something else to pass the time, so now she did this.

When she plugged the NCB in, a green light flickered to life on the massive wall of electronics in front of her - the first of many. She'd had to hand-build a module to process BioSerial data into control voltage for the synthesizer. The green light in front of her split the 64-channel signal running out of her head and scaled it, running it into 64 jacks for patch cables.

Grabbing a cable from the bin to her left, she connected jack #1 into another module and listened to the steady, sustained bass pitch buzz to life and modulate in time with her thoughts. It always felt so nice to be part of something again, interfacing with the simple saw wave oscillator in the same way she had interfaced with her mech.

Another five cables controlled the gate and an envelope generator, and the synthesizer fell quiet for a moment before pulsing in time with her as she laughed. A second oscillator formed a warm arpeggio, rising and falling over the rhythmic thrum of the bass voice. Connecting herself to the sends on the mixer, she mentally added some delay to the quick notes and blinking lights, and felt herself begin to slip into the spacey ambient sound.

Her heartbeat made a fine clock in lieu of a pulse wave. She was already able to loosely control it from her training. Connecting it to a sequencer, she programmed a drum part, her hands flying over the knobs in front of her as she hooked up the samples. A Bernoulli gate controlled the state of the high hat, and the kick and snare were tuned through low-frequency oscillators, pounding away in just the same way that her auto-cannons had, back when she had those.

Closing her eyes, she drifted into the sound, intuitively reaching out and adjusting various knobs and faders, aiming the peaks and dips of the waves like a rifle. The arpeggio sped up and the music began to turn sour as she remembered how it had felt, the big shake when she had gotten shot, climbing through a series of diminished chords and clashing sevenths that never seemed to resolve, and to some extent the music scared her even though the music was her.

The bass rose a fourth, and a sixteenth of a volt offset the melody voice enough to leave it annoyingly dissonant as the door behind Sagitta opened. The former Pilot broke her concentration, and the dissonant B demiflat minor chord hung in the air as the voice behind her spoke.

"Saga, sweetie. What do you want on your burger?"

Ah, yes. Rose. The girl - Sagitta's girlfriend - who she had lived with for a few months now. It was going well. Sagitta enjoyed snuggling her. Rose was tall, and her arms were long enough to wrap around Sagitta, enveloping her and making her feel safe.

"Mustard, onions, pickles, and cajun seasoning. You know me, Ro."

The B demiflat chord resolved to a quiet, triumphant yet nostalgic E major chord. Sagitta couldn't help but grin. A Picardy Third. Sometimes, she felt like the synth knew her better than she knew herself. Things would be alright in the end, she supposed.

Slipping the cold plug out of her spine, she stood up, stretching her arms out and shuddering at the temporary feeling of emptiness she always got when she unplugged. She'd have to get Rose to hug her when she went upstairs.

She had a burger waiting for her.

i wish every "retired mech pilot who longs for combat" a very "plug your unremovable neural implant into a cv channel on an analog synth and play notes with your mind and compose beautiful symphonies"

#mech pilot #microfiction

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autumntouched · 2 years ago

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Talk to Me | Outtake

As I was going through my WIP folder, I came across where Talk to Me began on 6/10/22. I was trying to write a fix it fic for the Rooster "set my career back four years" plot hole but a) got too mad about it to continue in this direction and b) liked Phoenix better. Anyway, in case you're interested...

The first thing Bradley notices about Natasha Trace is that she doesn’t know she’s hot. Not in the stupid take off her glasses and voila the ugly duckling becomes a swan movie kind of way. More like she doesn’t notice 95 percent of the men trying to take their shot with her. The other five percent have the balls to shoot hard enough for her to notice. Then she shoots back, her pool shot shattering most of them out the game.

Or maybe she does notice and doesn’t care.

When a few drinks give him the courage to ask her about it, she raises an eyebrow. “This is the first deep conversation we’re having and that’s what you want to know?”

She was supposed to be driving him home from the bar but somehow they ended up parked on the beach with a bag of In and Out burgers between them. It’s dark except for the moon and some distant lights scattered along the coast. Natasha’s pushed the seat back so she can stretch out her legs. He doesn’t want to but can’t help noticing that even in the dark, he can see the toned lines of her thighs in her cutoff shorts.

Feeling self-conscious despite the liquid boost, he asks, “Well what do you want to know about me?”

She’s quiet for some time, probably soberly weighing her questions.

“What kind of name is Bradley Bradshaw?” she asks at last.

Okay, that is definitely a way better question than his even though he doesn’t really want to answer it. But before he can go down the rabbit hole of humiliation, she adds, “To answer your question, I’m a Navy aviator.”

That doesn’t really answer it for him so she has to explain. Growing up, guys liked smart enough girls but not really the ones so obviously smarter than they were. Somewhere along the line she got a reputation for being intimidating. Apparently guys don’t grow out of that easily. The ones who don’t care are usually assholes. Like Seresin who can’t seem to decide whether he’ll be more satisfied beating her in the air or fucking her in bed. She’s matter-of-fact, even amused about it.

Huh. He’ll have to think on that one because the only thing keeping his raging crush on her in check is that she’s his classmate and already having a hard enough time with Seresin. She nudges his side with her elbow. “So, who saddled you with Bradley Bradshaw?”

It used to be one of his favorite stories. He doesn’t have too many memories of his mom before his dad died, but the way her face lit up when she told it reminded him of the old her. After she died and Maverick betrayed him and pulled his papers from the Naval Academy, though, the entire saga triggers a bitter taste in his mouth.

He fishes in the bag for some fries. Natasha is also from California so she’s one of the few people who can just enjoy a batch of In and Out fries without rattling off a list of all the better options there are.

“My name was a bet that stuck,” he says, trying to remember how his mom told it.

Nat twists around to face him and pulls her right leg up onto the seat. Hurriedly he casts his eyes back to her face. “Between your parents?”

“Between my dad and his best friend at the time.” He says it without his voice breaking on the two men who loom large over his life and yet know so little of it now. Maverick would probably be goading him to ask her out if he knew about her. Coworkers be damned.

Natasha grins so wide it lifts her ears. “You gotta give me more than that, Bradshaw.”

He snorts and stretches some of the tension out of his back. “My dad had this best friend whose call sign was Maverick. They used to get in all sorts of trouble, mostly because Maverick flew fast with planes and women. My mom was pregnant with me while they were deployed, and Maverick bet my dad his child’s name that he could get a date with this woman who’d turned every other man in their squad down.”

“I’m guessing Maverick scored the date?”

Bradley can’t help himself and laughs. “He did. By telling her that his friend would name his son Bradley Bradshaw if she didn’t go out with him. My dad used to tell my mom everything, and when he told her about the bet, she thought it was so funny. They all started referring to me as Bradley. It was supposed to be a joke. But then my dad realized Mom was really thinking about naming me that. He and Mav tried to talk her out of it, but I was born before they got back and she went through with it. ‘You’ll be more careful about the bets you make next time’ was all she’d say when Dad said anything. So, that’s how I became Bradley Bradshaw. Fucking Maverick.”

Nat cackles at his misfortune, but he doesn’t really mind. She’s never teased him about it. She leans forward and rests her elbow on her leg. “This Maverick sounds like a character.”

She sounds casual but there’s something careful in her voice.

He can't talk about Maverick for long without getting to how his dad died. When he finishes, she doesn’t offer the lame sorry most people do when he tells them he’s in his twenties with two dead parents. She folds her arms under her head and arches her back to get more comfortable.

“That’s a lot to live up to,” she says finally. “No wonder you’re such a broody jerk.”

That was not the response he was expecting, and he laughs at her ability to surprise him. But the sound has an edge of bitterness. A dead dad and his dead dad’s best friend who is one of the greatest aviators in the Navy. Two fucking long shadows to live in. Rooster wriggles around until he’s able to throw his legs up on the dash.

“At least no one can say I didn’t do it myself,” he grunts. The alcohol sloshes uncomfortably in his stomach. "Haven't talked to Maverick since high school."

#talk to me #talk to me outtake

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route22ny · 4 years ago

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BY MICHAEL J. MOONEY | PHOTOGRAPHS BY DAVE SHAFER

Staring at the front of the Royal Theater, I feel as though I’m looking backward through time. Taking in the cerulean marquee, the painted red fringe around the box office, the vertical ROYAL sign jutting into the afternoon sky—it’s easy to imagine why the denizens of Archer County flocked here for decades. The theater was a dark, cool respite from the blazing sun, a still escape from the whipping winds of the North Central Plains, a glimpse of entertainment from the outside world.

The theater—or what’s left of it anyway—peers out from the northeast corner of the town square. Without the storied theater, this could be any small town in Texas. Weathered barns and rusted oil pumps dot the landscape. Anchoring the town is the imposing three-story Romanesque Revival county courthouse, with stone archways and provincial peaks. There’s also a small café (Murn’s), a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it police station, a few antiques stores, and a single four-way stoplight swaying in the breeze like an apparition.

The Royal Theater as it is now and as it was then.

This isn’t just any small town in Texas, though. Archer City is the Texas small town. It’s the setting of both the novel and film versions of The Last Picture Show, a coming-of-age story rendered in black and white that earned eight Academy Award nominations, including Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay), Best Directing, and Best Picture. In Larry McMurtry’s book, published in 1966, the town is called Thalia. In the movie, directed by Peter Bogdanovich and released in 1971, it’s called Anarene—a name taken from an abandoned town 8 miles away. But rest assured, both places are Archer City: the looming courthouse, the blinking stoplight, and the Royal Theater, where so many of the most dramatic moments of The Last Picture Show take place.

The novel, which McMurtry called a “spiteful” book intended to “lance some of the poisons of small-town life,” received critical acclaim when it was published. But it was Bogdanovich’s film that truly introduced the entire world, in utterly unromanticized fashion, to the intense, sweeping sagas of everyday life in Archer City. The Last Picture Show turned this particular and peculiar town into art.

Both the novel and movie contain language that was considered lewd at the time. McMurtry’s own mother, Hazel, once said that after reading the first 100 pages she hid the book in the closet and called her son that night. “Larry, honey,” she said to him, he revealed in his 2002 travel memoir Paradise, “is this what we’re sending you to Rice for? Those awful words!”

The film, with its nudity and frank depiction of teenage sexuality—including Cybill Shepherd’s first and only topless scene—absolutely scandalized upright, moral Americans all over the country. Nowhere more so than in Archer City, where it was regarded at the time as a “dirty” movie.

Now, 50 years after the film’s release, the town’s past dalliances with Hollywood are somehow simultaneously scuttled and omnipresent. There’s no billboard at the city limit announcing the place’s cultural significance, no notation on the water tower. But there are echoes of the art formed here, about this place, along every street, around every corner. Some might even feel the spirit of McMurtry, who passed away in Archer City earlier this year.

Over the last five decades, Peter Bogdanovich, a New Yorker who operated in Los Angeles, has told the story of the movie’s origin many times. He’d seen the novel in a store, liked the title, saw what it was about, and immediately put the book back down. Then actor Sal Mineo, who’d starred alongside James Dean and Natalie Wood in Rebel Without a Cause, gave Bogdanovich a copy of the novel, saying he thought it would make a good film. Bogdanovich still didn’t read it, but gave it to his wife, production designer Polly Platt, and asked her to read it. When she inspired him to finally read it himself, he was intrigued by the challenge of conveying small-town life in Texas and eventually co-wrote the screenplay with McMurtry. Bogdanovich, Platt, and McMurtry took a long road trip scouting locations in Texas, but ultimately the director realized he wanted to shoot the movie in McMurtry’s hometown.

Set in the early 1950s, the story follows three teenagers—the co-captains of the football team and the so-called prettiest girl in school—through their senior year of high school, as they each struggle to make sense of adult concepts like love and sex and the fragility of human life. Sonny Crawford is the sensitive, thoughtful boy from a broken home. Duane Jackson is Sonny’s lovelorn best friend who escapes first into the oil fields and then the Korean War. Jacy Farrow is the coquettish rich girl who yearns wholeheartedly for something beyond the confines of her surroundings. The Last Picture Show also famously includes an ensemble of carefully rendered adults trying to cope with their own expired dreams and broken lives.

McMurtry repeated over the years that the characters he created weren’t based on any real-life individuals, but the people of Archer City always suspected otherwise. A man named Bobby Stubbs, who was photographed with McMurtry in their high school yearbook, believed he was the inspiration for Sonny. Stubbs had a troubled home life and worked nights like Sonny, and he drove the same kind of pickup truck. He was also once hit in the eye by the boyfriend of a girl he liked. “It kinda pretty closely followed me,” Stubbs used to say.

A woman named Ceil Cleveland Footlick was often asked if she was the inspiration for Jacy. She was “very good friends” (her words) with Stubbs and had been voted “Most Beautiful Girl” in her class. For years she brushed off the question, but in 1997 she published a memoir with the title Whatever Happened to Jacy Farrow?

Because of the book’s reputation, getting actors to audition was a challenge. Randy Quaid was cast as Lester, an awkward, sleazy suitor of Jacy’s. He’d only read the parts of the script that involved his character, which mostly centered on Lester taking Jacy to a naked swimming party. “I just thought it was going to be like this B-movie, teenage, soft-porn movie,” Quaid would later say. “Something you’d see at the drive-in.”

None of the young stars had much experience in film. Timothy Bottoms, who’d only been in one movie before, was cast to play Sonny. Jeff Bridges, cast as Duane, had been a professional actor nearly all his life, but at 21 years old, this would be his first major film role. And Bogdanovich cast Shepherd as Jacy after seeing her face on the cover of Glamour magazine.

Most of the adults in the movie were played by established Hollywood actors, including Cloris Leachman, Ellen Burstyn, and Eileen Brennan. For the role of Sam the Lion, the wisdom-dispensing owner of the town’s pool hall, Bogdanovich cast Ben Johnson, the champion-rodeo-cowboy-turned-stuntman-turned-Western-movie-icon. At first Johnson turned down the part on account of the foul language, but Bogdanovich called in a favor from his director friend John Ford, who convinced Johnson to do it.

Almost as soon as filming started, real life began imitating the art being created. While making a movie about illicit sex and barely veiled scandal, the set was awash in illicit sex and barely veiled scandal. The actors spent a lot of time drinking and smoking together in their hotel rooms 30 minutes north in Wichita Falls, and that led to drama. Bottoms fell in love with Shepherd. Bogdanovich started an affair with Shepherd, dissolving his own marriage while his wife, Platt, continued to work on the movie. (Most mornings Platt styled Shepherd’s hair.) “It was quite a soap opera,” Burstyn said in the documentary Picture This: The Times of Peter Bogdanovich in Archer City, Texas.

This was everything the locals had feared: all the immoral luridness of Hollywood, right here in a part of Texas not so comfortable with unwholesomeness that didn’t stay behind closed doors.

Outside of Archer City, it was a different story. The movie received great reviews from coast to coast. Johnson won the Oscar for Actor in a Supporting Role and Leachman won for Actress in a Supporting Role. The film is still beloved today and maintains a spot in the coveted National Film Registry.

But at the time of its release, most of the locals disapproved. Strongly. The Los Angeles Times ran a story about it with the headline “Movie Riles Town It Depicts.” McMurtry, who was involved in Bogdanovich’s vision, eventually got so annoyed by the vicious gossip in town that he sent a letter to the editor of the Archer City newspaper, challenging anyone in town to a public debate.

His offer went unrequited.

Archer City’s population is 1,848, only a couple hundred larger than it was when McMurtry grew up there in the ’30s and ’40s. The town is the seat of Archer County, created in 1858 by the Texas State Legislature and named after Branch Tanner Archer, former secretary of war of the Republic of Texas. Ranching and oil have long been the predominant industries—by late 1926, there were more than 400 oil wells within 13 miles of Archer City—but many people are increasingly attracted to the town for its proximity to prime hunting.

Many of the locations where The Last Picture Show was filmed are gone now. Where Sam’s dusty pool hall once stood, with its door flapping in the wind, there’s nothing but an empty dirt lot. The Rig-Wam Drive Inn, the burger joint where Jacy dangled french fries over Duane’s head as if he was a trained seal, is just a plot of asphalt and patchy grass. The West-Tex Theater in the neighboring town of Olney, used for the interior movie theater scenes, was torn down in the mid-’80s. Today it’s a small, quiet park with a gazebo.

Some places are still here, but different. The restaurant where Brennan’s character worked turned into Booked Up No. 4, one of four bookstores McMurtry set up around the town square before shuttering all but one in 2012. The high school has some of the same old features, though it’s been updated and decorated with a handful of granite statues marking state titles the school has won through the years.

Much of the town looks and acts remarkably like it did when The Last Picture Show was made. Boys about the age of Duane and Sonny still speed through town in pickup trucks. Men the age of Sam the Lion still stop them to talk about football. The dance hall at the American Legion, where Jacy and Duane twirled around the room and Sonny ran into his estranged father, looks like it could host the same event today. On a recent evening, four or five locals were perched on barstools, sipping cold beers, listening to songs on the jukebox. They got rid of the old Wurlitzer years ago, but the updated digital version there now still plays all the Hank Williams Sr. songs from the movie.

In time, feelings in Archer City softened a bit. Mostly, the people here don’t talk much about the movie, or about McMurtry, the town’s most famous son. You can spend all morning at Murn’s Café and all night at the American Legion, the only bar in town, and never hear The Last Picture Show mentioned once. It’s not the source of tension it once was.

The public change of heart was most apparent in 1989, nearly 20 years after The Last Picture Show was filmed, when Bogdanovich returned to Archer City to shoot the sequel, Texasville, based on a book of the same name by McMurtry. This time the townspeople lined up to participate as extras. People came from miles away to sell concessions or to take photos or just get a glimpse of the nearly $20 million production.

“The bad taste that the movie left for some folks, that’s gone now,” then-high school principal Nat Lunn told the Austin American-Statesman at the time. “Especially with money being short in town, they’re ready for another dose of Hollywood.”

By the late 1980s, the three leads in the first film—Bottoms, Bridges, and Shepherd—had all become stars. While the entire budget for the first movie was around $1.3 million, Shepherd alone was paid $1.5 million to reprise her role. Bridges was reportedly paid $1.75 million. Bottoms, who’d complained publicly about Bogdanovich and said he didn’t like any of his co-stars, would only agree to return if he was given an additional $100,000 to fund the Picture This documentary.

In the two decades since the first movie, Bogdanovich’s career had soared and crashed. He and Shepherd had broken up; he went on to have multiple relationships, and she had two divorces. Bottoms was also divorced and remarried, but on the set he confessed the crush he’d had on Shepherd. Platt returned, too, and brought the 21-year-old daughter she and Bogdanovich shared. It became a grand, twisted Hollywood reunion, right there on the streets of Archer City.

Drawn by the potential spectacle of what was by then some sort of love-octagon, media outlets from across the country sent reporters to town. There were long feature stories in both Entertainment Weekly and the Los Angeles Times. By all accounts, though, the entire production served as a therapeutic experience, healing the wounds of the past. At one press conference, the often-sullen Bottoms hugged Bogdanovich. Behind-the-scenes footage caught Shepherd hugging Bottoms. Residents of Archer County took photos of themselves on the set.

But when the movie was released, it tanked. It received middling reviews, earned back only a fraction of its budget, and even today it’s not easy to find on any of the major streaming services.

A lot of people associated with The Last Picture Show are dead now. Stubbs, who claimed to be the basis for Sonny, died in 1992. Johnson in 1996. Sam Bottoms, the real-life younger brother of Timothy Bottoms who played the mute boy Billy, died in 2008. Platt, the producer and production designer who somehow never pulled Shepherd’s hair, died in 2011. Then Brennan in 2013.

In January of this year, Footlick, the woman who wrote about being the real Jacy Farrow, died in North Carolina. Leachman died almost two weeks later. And on March 25, McMurtry, the writer who created all this beautiful trouble, died at the age of 84.

A few days after his death, nobody answered the doorbell at his house in Archer City, a majestic, three-story mansion just down the road from the high school. Looking through the front window, everything seemed to me to be just the way he left it, from the table made from a giant dinosaur fossil to the towering shelves of books in every room. McMurtry bought this place, the biggest home in town, after he won the Pulitzer Prize for Lonesome Dove. He’d wake up early in the morning, type for an hour and a half or so at his long oak table, then go to the bookstore to price antiquarian volumes. Most of the locals would leave him alone.

On the house’s front porch, a single rocking chair was situated to look out over the front yard into the surrounding neighborhood. Someone sitting there could see the comings and goings of a lot of people. As the early-evening wind moved through, the chair began to rock ever so gently.

These days, I sense the people of Archer City think differently of The Last Picture Show. It’s a part of the town’s story, just like the cattle industry and state titles. The movie is even mentioned on the town’s website, though it’s certainly not prominent.

There’s also a tiny park just off the square with a fiberglass horse covered in brands from local ranches and a display that chronicles a bit of the town’s history. The welded metal wall has separate panels for the town’s founding, the first successful oil well drilled here, and the giant fire that swept through in 1925. There’s also a panel explaining how the town was the filming location for The Last Picture Show and Texasville. Bogdanovich’s last name is misspelled.

A couple hundred feet away is the Royal Theater. Most of the building is a burned-out hull, popular for weddings, photo shoots, and occasional performances. The front of the building has been restored, though. It looks just like it did in the movie, the image that begins and ends the film. It’s haunting and beautiful, weathered and damaged—but still here, still standing, still looking at that single blinking light swaying in the wind.

***

The Last Picture Show wasn’t the first movie based on a novel by Larry McMurtry, and it certainly wasn’t the last. You might besurprised by just how many films and TV shows have been made from his novels. Here are a few:

Hud, 1963 (based on Horseman, Pass By) The Last Picture Show, 1971 Lovin’ Molly, 1974 (based on Leaving Cheyenne) Terms of Endearment, 1983 Lonesome Dove, 1989 Texasville, 1990 The Evening Star, 1996

https://texashighways.com/culture/how-the-last-picture-show-changed-the-worlds-view-of-small-town-texas/

#archer city texas #larry mcmurtry #peter bogdanovich #the last picture show

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multifandomfanficreclist · 5 years ago

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Witcher Fic Mass Post

I have delved deep into the Witcher fandom during these quarantimes. This is a selection of the fics I’ve enjoyed.

All are Geralt/Jaskier unless stated otherwise.

***

Louder and Louder - https://archiveofourown.org/works/22295869

Geralt tries to puzzle out why Jaskier keeps following him into danger after danger... completely missing the obvious. There's too great a gulf between what his witcher senses pick up, and what his damaged heart is willing to accept.

"The bard’s heart always beats faster whenever the witcher draws near. That isn't unusual. So do the hearts of most humans he encounters. Not only do they blanch and recoil at the sight of his white hair and amber eyes, but they begin to sweat, the stench of their fear a sour tang at the back of his throat.

But the bard never seems to reek of fear."

***

The Courting Jewellery A/B/O - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1689562

Geralt doesn’t wear his courting jewelry—the medallion is apparently a witcher thing, not an omega one—and Jaskier supposes that makes sense. Geralt leads a very active life, and probably saves the jewelry for situations it won’t run the constant risk of getting ruined in. Certainly a nice set of earrings would be a lot more fragile than the plain studs he wears instead. A lot of omegas don’t wear their courting jewelry day to day, anyway, or at least not most of it. Geralt’s hardly unusual in that.

It’s a bit of a shame, though, because Jaskier’d like to see him in it.

***

You Follow? - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1620703

I’m a Jaskier Rivia stan first and a person second @whitewolfpackleader: Did @bardofficial win a Grammy? No. But he DID put his husband in a leather tunic for the red carpet and in that sense, we’re all winners tonight

***

Front Row Praises - https://archiveofourown.org/works/22326214

The girl rolls her eyes at him. “If you’re just going to stand here ogling the witcher, maybe go and do it out of the way.”

“Ogling.” Jaskier scoffs. “Who’s ogling?”

She looks unimpressed. “Have you told him you want him to fuck you?”

***

Even a Small Love - https://archiveofourown.org/works/22473670

“Well,” Jaskier replies distractedly. “Lots of things want to strangle you.”

“You don’t.”

It isn’t a particularly troublesome accusation, or even necessarily an accusation at all.

***

Redwood and Dandelion - https://archiveofourown.org/works/22681252

"The Witcher's bought a room for the night, and says he'll pay double for anyone who can bed him without stinking of fear the whole time."

"Oh, I've fucking got this," Jaskier promised.

Or, the one where Jaskier works in a brothel and falls head over heels for the stoic, not-actually-that-scary Witcher who comes in requesting his services.

Geralt doesn't know what he's getting himself into.

***

Petrichor - Geralt/Eskel/Jaskier - https://archiveofourown.org/works/22866559/chapters/54652891

“Geralt…? What, by Melitele’s tits, are you doing? The door, man, normal people use a d--... Geralt?” He noticed it now. The feverish sheen on the Witcher’s skin, the alert, skittish look in his eyes and the--. He cleared the distance between them in three strides. Geralt retreated until his back hit the wall with a dull thud, but Jaskier would not be deterred. He shoved his face into the crook of Geralt’s neck and breathed in deeply, his hands gripping the edges of the damp cloak draped over broad shoulders. “You’re…”

“I need… need to ask you… for a…” He clenched his teeth, eyes rolling to the ceiling. Two gloved hands lifted to push Jaskier away from his chest; it felt like trying to move a mountain. Not because Jaskier pushed back, but because every fibre of his being wanted to pull the other way. Ask for a what though? ‘Favour’ didn’t quite fit the bill for what he was about to request, and so he stared at Jaskier with those intense golden eyes, while mentally scrambling for a coherent explanation amidst the brain fog.

The saga of Geralt and Jaskier getting together, falling in love with Eskel, and learning that it's all right to want (and let themselves have) things.

***

Where There’s a Witcher - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604140

Jaskier is a twentysomething recently unemployed journalist and amateur musician looking for his big break. So when he’s saved from the jaws of a wyvern by the infamous Butcher of Blaviken, Geralt of Rivia, he comes up with a brilliant idea: he’ll follow the Witcher around and sing about their exploits. He’ll gain fame and fortune and Geralt will get a much needed image rehab. Everyone wins. Unless Jaskier goes and falls in love like an idiot.

***

Tired Symphony Verse - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1597723

Silence reigned between them. Outside there was the dull sound of training swords clashing and Jaskier turned his gaze towards the window, watching the sky outside.

“I’m-- sorry.” Geralt said. It sounded truly remorseful.

Jaskier took a deep breath and then tipped himself slightly to the side, pressing his shoulder against the witcher’s.

“I know.”

***

There Goes my Heart Beating - https://archiveofourown.org/works/22382665

“Sometimes,” Geralt says quietly, “I forget that you care.”

Jaskier looks up surprised and sees that Geralt is looking down at him with a small frown on his face. “Geralt,” Jaskier sighs, shaking his head fondly, “you foolish beef-brain. Of course I care.”

Or,

Five times Jaskier asks Geralt questions, and the one time Geralt asked Jaskier.

***

Shrug off the Shroud - https://archiveofourown.org/works/23027161

askier's student doesn’t see him when she skids into the tavern. Her friends are already present, drinking merrily, and she slaps their table so hard their tankards rattle.

“Have you heard?" She flashes a gossiper's secretive grin. "The White Wolf’s gone mad.”

After Geralt sends Jaskier away, Jaskier returns to Oxenfurt and builds a good (albeit unfulfilling) life there. He's fine—moving on, truly—until gut-wrenching rumors start to circulate that the White Wolf's lost his his mind. Jaskier's a bard. A truth-teller. He can't just let the rumors go unsubstantiated.

***

Sometimes a Hammer, Sometimes a Lockpick - https://archiveofourown.org/works/22998961

Geralt's been in a dungeon for two weeks and is understandably frustrated. Jaskier, on the other hand, is what one might call... livid.

***

New Monster Stories - https://archiveofourown.org/works/23097970/chapters/55260658

“So do you have a name?”

“Yeah.” The man who had saved his life less than an hour ago – the white-haired, absurdly buff, weirdly sexy man Jaskier might have called taciturn if he was feeling charitable and surly if he was feeling less so – dug into his second burger.

Jaskier waited. “Are… you going to tell me what it is?”

The man paused mid-bite, and looked at him reproachfully as if to say how dare you. How dare you interrupt me. Can’t you see I’m enjoying my cheeseburger. Can’t you see this cheeseburger is the most important thing in my life right at the moment. He swallowed, and said, “Geralt.”

It turns out almost getting eaten by a werewolf can make your whole life go careening off in a new, terrifying, wondrous, artistically flourishing direction. Who knew?

***

When Midnights Break their Sleep - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647292

The first Snapchat that anyone ever sends Geralt is a picture of his own irritated face.

shrike_princess: can u believe this dumbass finally got a snapchat bc a cute boy asked him nicely

"It wasn't even that nicely," Geralt says flatly.

AKA: The one where Geralt is a bartender and Jaskier sings karaoke.

***

An Exaltation of Wolves - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687699

Jaskier accompanies Geralt to Kaer Morhen for the winter and finds the other Witchers just as prickly--and just as deserving of love--as the White Wolf.

***

Lilacs and Dandelions - Jaskier/Yennefer/Geralt - https://archiveofourown.org/works/22929526/chapters/54808162

“The Witcher believes you’re under a spell,” Yennefer said, conversationally, drawing a sip from her tea.

“I most certainly am,” said Jaskier to her in a warm drawl that Geralt recognized as the tone of voice he slipped into when flirting and frankly, things needed to start making more sense and fast before he gave into his impulse to do something rash and wholly unhelpful. Namely, chuck himself out the cottage window and into the sea.

Or Geralt seeks out Yennefer only to find her, of all unbelievable and ridiculous things, shacking up with his bard.

***

Woodash and Iron and Leather - https://archiveofourown.org/works/22114921

Jaskier is the only person Geralt's ever been around who doesn't smell of fear

#The Witcher #Witcher #witcher fanfiction #geraskier #geraskefer #RandomFandom #fanfiction #fanfic #fanficrec

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milkichip · 6 months ago

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HUG

#supposedly daily barnes doodle #milk skribs #alyx vance #barney calhoun #burger calhoun #b-burger saga

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depyellow416 · 3 years ago

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Poki games like a king

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Murder - Poki Games.

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Online Games on Poki Let's play. King Rugni is a tower defense game created by Ravalmatic. This game puts you in the boots of a wacky dwarf monarch. Deploy your towers on the field and create an impregnable defense system. There are unlockable and upgradeable towers, lots of different enemies, 5 different areas, and 30 levels. BASIQ 2021. 3 - 5 June 2021, The University of Foggia, Italy. Menu. Home; About the conference. Keynote-Speakers; Board. Conference Chairs.

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agentdammers · 7 years ago

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Grand Torchwood Rewatch eps 1x05, 06, 07

oh!!!!!!!! the saga that no one asked for continues!!!!!!

content warn: pisstaking, fun having, no one is safe, everyone is terrible

1x05 “small worlds”

- before we even start, i will say this: i hate this fucking episode bc a nice old lady dies. if anything involves Nice old ppl, really little kids, or animals being hurt, i hate it and also fuck u for making me look at this oh its sad!!! hate that!!!!

- oh shes so Nice and she just likes fairies so much its v fucked up!!!!!!! and she’s also looking for her cat when she dies which is like a DOUBLE SAD WHAMMY, dont like that at ALL!!!!

- the fairies in this look like that bitch from Strange Magic. i dont remember his name but you know who i mean, the bugman

- actually the fairy cgi is like some of the best cgi of the series so far. its a low bar and everything but still

- ah yes!!! jack’s Identical Twin Dad. WILD

- cargo pants owen............ sexy...... (Im Being Totally Sincere Btw, I Assure You)

- snidey shit aside a pedo gets owned multiple times thru this episode which is v Good honestly

- the bit when gwen shouts “TELL ME JACK” and then like.... looks away really suddenly??? is some of the most bizarre acting ive seen in A Time like. man if i was the director, i wouldve had to be like, eve love u by the way but also like: What the Fuck

- Very Unintentionally Funny Moment: Owen trying to restrain this woman super awkwardly so he doesnt accidentally grab her tits??????????

- and here jack sacrifices someone else’s kid.............. just like he will do later on to his own *spoiler 4 children of earth* grandson

1x06 “countrycide”

- my memory of this episode had boiled down to a vague outline bc literally all i can think of now is “this is the episode where burn got done for trying to steal a bath while they were filming”

- “monster” by the automatic, what a tune of yesteryear! remember when you couldnt so much as scratch your arse without this song blaring out your b hole

- “and WHAT is that SMELL?” “that would be grass” “.................it’s disgusting.” Oh! Kin

- Toshiko tell us more about this hepatitis burger ???????

- ok fer real tho. abandon the rest of this episode lets focus on the hep burger this sounds like an Amazing tale

- OWEN dirty talking!!!!!!!!!!! this is a family friendly rewatch bitch, keep it PG!!!!!!!!!

- ah fuck gwen’s dead. everyone go home, the rewatch is over nothin more to see

- u can look at My wound, owen 😎 ((((this is a funny joke bc by wound i mean my Butt Whole !))))

- when owen picks up the gun he keeps fuckin swinging it around like a character in a first person shooter tryin to pan the camera... what is he doing ?

- not to be cruel cos lad’s had a bad time but im so tired of ianto’s little face in this episode jesus. i forget when does this character become like. tolerable lmao

- tbh since this episode i have seen so many movies with basically this Exact Same storyline which makes it like....... really tiresome to watch? not torchwoods fault but!!! eugh !

- what IS torchwood’s fault however: That Fucking Slow Motion Of Jack Shooting Up The Place. this show does NOT look nearly expensive or cinematic enough to pull off that shit it really doesnt!!!!!! i also found it extremely funny that the Bad Cop has a handgun, bc what kind of showdown would it be if everyone Didnt have handguns!

- GWEN’S FUCKING A 9 STONE TWINK WHEN SHES GOT 100% WELSH BEEF WAITING AT HOME

1x07 “greeks bearing gifts”

- AKA ELECTRIC LESBOOGALOO 2: HOW TOSHIKO GOT HER GROOVE BACK

- deeply unrealistic that a single kid on a bike would be staring at a crime scene and not there with at least half a dozen of his mates

- seeing ppl smoke in indoor public spaces makes me feel Deeply Nostalgic, tbh

- mary’s deeply Sultry Lesbian Aura is so fucking powerful its knocked me clean on my ass

- god ianto just fucking Longs for death!!!!!!!!!!!! let him rest!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- you dont need another Owen Sexy reminder but: purple tiger shirt owen? sexy

- WHYS ALIEN GOT TITTY

- ah! lov that casually transphobic anecdote from jack near the end! feels good feels organic!!!

- u ever want to just like jack harkness but he keeps doin shit like, oh, u know, straight up Launching An Alien Into The Fucking Sun And Killing Her

- anyway get toshiko sato a gf campaign 2018, peace out!

#LONG POST #grand torchwood rewatch 2018

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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I Think You Should Leave Season 2: Ranking Every Sketch

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

How on Earth did we survive two years without new episodes of Netflix’s brilliant sketch comedy series I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson? The first batch of six episodes premiered on April 23 of 2019 and proved instantly iconic.

Contained within the season’s roughly two-dozen sketches was absolutely hilarious and essential comedy that provided ample memetic kindling for the internet’s conversational fire. For the focused enough mind, it’s entirely possible to communicate with one’s friends exclusively in I Think You Should Leave memes. Lord knows, I’ve tried it.

Thankfully, ITYSL season 2 has finally arrived on Netflix after its COVID-19 delay. It features 28 sketches that range from “pretty funny” to “I can’t stop laughing. Oh God, I can’t stop laughing. It hurts, surely this is the end. Surely, I will die.”

Check out our rankings below and then begin yelling at our chances like Spectrum is dropping your network.

28. Credit Card Roulette

If nothing else, Tim Robinson and I Think You Should Leave co-creator Zach Kanin are incredible comedy scouts. Through two seasons, the show’s sketches have been a who’s who of up-and-coming comedic talent, like the wonderful John Early who is featured in this sketch. Unfortunately Early is not served well by the material here, which doesn’t rise to the same ludicrous heights as season 2’s other sketches. The best moment is Early’s immediate resolve that he’s not paying the bill, but the sketch doesn’t go too far after that.

27. Dave’s Poop Double

The sketch that serves as the cold open of season 2’s final episode doesn’t get things off to the best start. The concept of Tim’s “Luka” hiring a guy who looks just like his coworker Dave to take monster shits every time he gets up is certainly fun but missing an important layer of added absurdity. Luka is probably the best name for any of Robinson’s random characters yet though.

26. Little Buff Boys Pt. 2

Season 2 features many more callbacks to previous sketches than the first season did. This followup to Little Buff Boys is the worst of the bunch but still quite funny. Perhaps the only thing more absurd than a Little Buff Boys competition is someone being proud of running “one of” the biggest LBB competitions in the Greater Cincinnati area. This sketch also passes up an easy Cincinnati Chili joke in favor of creating the truly vile “cherry chuck salad.”

25. Detective Crashmore Trailer

This trailer for action thriller Detective Crashmore is funny enough on its own but doesn’t reach another comedic level until the AOL Blast interview two sketches later. Still, I unironically want to see an action film with a lead character whose main quip is “Eat fucking bullets, you fuckers. You fucking suck. You fucking SUCK!”

24. I Should Have Got That

I Think You Should Leave deserves a big spread in AARP magazine. No other sketch show revels in the talents of older comedians quite like this one. After 81-year-old comedian Ruben Rabasa stole the show in season 1, season 2 ups the ante with many more sketches letting old folks shine. It’s Bob McDuff Wilson’s turn this time around and his child-like obsession with his student’s burger kills right up until the shockingly dark kicker.

23. Office Surfing

“I almost killed myself, Jullliieeeeee” is one of the best line-reads of the season. The sketch it’s built around isn’t too remarkable but man, does Robinson knock that one out of the park.

22. “No, I Don’t Know How to Drive”

This is a quickie but a goodie. Robinson’s characters break down in tears quite often this season and this is one of the better occasions. How far have Tim’s characters come – from reveling in the existence of four-wheeled motorcycles to looking at the inside of a car and weeping “I don’t know what any of this shit is and I’m fucking scared.”

21. The Capital Room

Speaking of top tier comedic talent, thank God Patti Harrison stopped by another season of I Think You Should Leave. This time around, we get two heaping doses of Patti. This one, the first of the two, is the inferior but still quite great. In the span of roughly 30 seconds, Harrison unveils the saga of a woman who A. Got sewn into the pants of the Thanksgiving Day parade Charlie Brown float, B. Hates all bald boys, C. Sued the city and won a fortune, D. Is now helplessly addicted to wine, and E. Is tragically self-aware that her money will run out soon.

20. But It’s Lunch

Just like last year’s opening sketch, “But It’s Lunch” (this is probably a good time to mention, that I’m naming all of these things myself. You could very easily call this the Hotdog sketch but that would confuse it with last year’s hotdog sketch) sets the perfect opening mood. The sight gag of Robinson’s Pat trying to stealthily eat a hotdog is wonderful, and the fact that things so quickly escalate to hotdog surgery and puke is just sublime.

19. Carber Hotdog Vacuum

The follow-up to “But It’s Lunch” occurs a full two episodes later and proves to be a hell of a pay-off. Robinson’s unnamed character (who is obviously Pat) very quickly reveals that there is one very specific reason he made this hotdog vacuum invention and you’ll never guess what it was. We all make mistakes. We shouldn’t be fired for them.

18. Insider Trading Trial (Stupid Hat)

This sketch somewhat mimics the experience of trying to explain what I Think You Should Leave is like to someone who has never seen it. “So, this guy took too small a slice of toilet paper…” or “…and then he has to have to have sex with his mother-in-law.” “Insider Trading” rotely describes the bizarre behaviors of one of Robinson’s deeply strange characters, Brian, as it’s being read into the court record. Brian and his stupid fedora with the safari flaps is in attendance to provide a visual aid. As are some hilarious flashbacks in which Brian attempts to roll the hat down his arm like Fred Astaire and instead encounters only wheelchair grease.

17. The Ice Cream Store is Closed Today

Before he was a criminal lawyer, Bob Odenkirk was one of the most legendary sketch writers of all time. It’s only fitting that he stop by ITYSL season 2 to provide his comedic blessing. Odenkirk is great from the get-go but this one doesn’t really get rolling until the end when Robinson finds himself truly immersed in the fictional life of this sad old man. “His wife’s sick but she’s gonna get better” is a shockingly emotional moment amid pure farce.

16. Barbie and the Blues Brothers

This is the sketch that climbed the most in my rankings upon a second viewing. What first seemed to be a waste of Conner O’Malley’s manic comedic energy became a semi-classic once I submitted to its strange vibes. I don’t even know what to call this one but Robinson’s character refusing to stop dancing as Barbie the dog melts down is hilarious. O’Malley is better served by last season’s “honk if you’re horny” sketch, still he gets some bangers in this time around like “She thinks he’s a whole new guy because of the glasses and the hat” and “it’s her house, she’s doing what’s right!” Robinson once again closes this nonsense out with some well-earned tears. “It’s just me, Barbie. I’m not the Blues Brothers.”

15. Jaime Taco (I Love My Wife)

“Jamie Taco” is a prime example of just how rapidly (and how well) I Think You Should Leave is able to veer into pure nonsensical genius. At the top, this sketch comes perilously close to making an actual statement about how men are too quick to pretend like their wives are horrible nags. This sketch, however, has its sights set on something much dumber…and therefore better. Our hero (played hilariously by Richard Jewell’s Paul Walter Hauser) loves his wife because she helped him through his darkest moment, which just so happens to be when snotty young actor Jamie Taco refused to let him say his Henchman lines in a play.

14. Comos Restaurant

All hail the return of the great Tim Heidecker! Heidecker, of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! fame, is one of the few comedians with a strange enough sensibility to be reasonably seen as an I Think You Should Leave forerunner. His season 1 turn as a walnut-obsessed jazz douche is a classic and this one reaches similar heights. This time, Heidecker’s character, Gary, and his lovely date, Janeane (Tracey Birdsall), have good reason to be annoyed by their date night at the sci-fi cosmos restaurant being interrupted by some hacky jokes. Of course, they use this opportunity to reveal that Jeannine’s mom used to drink puke for the Davy and Rascal radio show to pay for school supplies. It’s oddly refreshing to have a Heidecker character given a game partner and Gary and Janeane make one great team.

13. Detective Crashmore Interivew

While the Detective Crashmore trailer is the setup, this interview with AOL Blast is the punchline. Detective Crashmore is played by Santa Claus, because why not? Actor Biff Wiff’s gruff, nasally Midwestern timber is the perfect accent to accompany this lunacy. This is a Santa who in one breath demands to be taken seriously as an actor (Billy Bob Thornton-style) and in the next admits to seeing everyone in the world’s dick.

12. Sloppy Steaks (I Used to Be a Piece of Shit)

From here on out, it’s nothing but absolute homeruns. “Sloppy Steaks” could very well have been number one on this list and few would have batted an eye. The setup here is amazing as it gives Tim Robinson a reason to essentially have beef with a baby. The baby cries because he knows Robinson used to be a piece of shit. But don’t babies understand that people can change? That’s funny enough to begin with, but the real gut-busting moment here is the reveal of what “being a piece of shit” really means. In this case it means slicking one’s hair back and dousing the steaks at Truffoni’s with water to make sloppy steaks.

11. Johnny Carson Impersonator

Just a quick rundown for those who are confused…

Johnny Carson = Can Hit. George Kennedy = Can’t Hit. George Bush = Can’t Hit.

10. Driving School (Her Job is Tables)

This is the rare I Think You Should Leave sketch that actually provides an answer to all the lunacy. As Robinson’s character’s Driver’s Ed class watches Patti Harrison’s actress in some dated videos, they can’t help but wonder what she does for a living. “Tables,” Robinson answers over and over again. This would be funny enough on its own but the reveal that Harrison provides tables to Monster Cons is a rare and valuable moment of “Ohhhhh that’s why” for this show. Equally as valuable is Harrison, who really sells that those tables are her lifeblood.

9. Claire’s Ear-Piercings

One has to wonder how much time goes into choosing the perfect “order” for the sketches in I Think You Should Leave. Two seasons in a row now, the show has selected pitch perfect opening and closing sketches. This closing number is oddly melancholic as the Claire’s orientation video for girls who want to get their ears pierced somehow gives way to one 58-year-old man named Ron Tussbler’s existential dread. If we really get to see the “highlights” after we die, forcibly fake laughing every ten minutes to make the voyeuristic experience all the richer sounds like a good strategy and not sad at all. Hang in there, Ron.

8. Little Buff Boys Competition

What. A. Crop. It was a virtual certainty that ITYSL season 2 would feature a spiritual successor to the classic “Baby of the Year” sketch in season 1. Thank God “Little Buff Boys” is up to the challenge of replicating that magic. This one has all the right elements to be another hit: Sam Richardson (in a wig this time, no less), a grand pageant hall, and some precocious youths. Troll Boy also joins the canon of young ITYSL characters who everybody instinctively hates alongside Bart Harley Jarvis.

7. Tammy Craps

There’s something weirdly nefarious about this commercial for a poisonous doll that doesn’t have farts in her head anymore. It’s a criticism of late stage capitalism crossed with the cursed nature of the Annabelle movies…while not being like either of those things at all. In reality, this is just another absurdist concept sprung from the terrifying inner depths of the writing staff’s mind. It also happens to be a particularly great one. The girl weighing her clothes down with rocks so she can hit the magical 60-pound threshold to safely play with Tammy Craps is one of the best gags of the season.

6. Karl Havoc

“Little Buff Boys Competition” and another upcoming sketch are likely to produce the lion’s share of memes and quotes from this season of ITYSL. But the one quote that’s stuck in my mind most aggressively comes from this hilarious episode 1 clip. The sight of Robinson’s Carmine Laguzio posing as the dead-faced freakshow Karl Havoc and muttering “I don’t want to be around anymore” is quite simply one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed. This is a marvelous, unnerving, utterly hilarious sketch. That there are somehow five better sketches speaks to how strong this season is.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

5. Dan Flashes Pt. 1 (Office)

I Think You Should Leave is now two for two in introducing the most cutting edge items in men’s fashion. Season 1 featured the arrival of the highly practical TC Tugger shirt. Now season 2 ups the ante with the stylish Dan Flashes. This sketch succeeds because it takes a simple question “Why is Mike laying down during a business meeting?” and divines the most outlandish answer possible. Mike isn’t eating because he’s spending all his money on Dan Flashes shirts.

4. Dan Flashes Pt. 2 (Hotel Menu)

It’s one thing to introduce a hilarious concept, it’s another thing entirely to put it into practice. This second entry into the Dan Flashes canon is amazing. Back in part 1, it seemed as though the intricate patterns on the Dan Flashes shirts have a hypnotic effect on men who look exactly like Tim Robinson. Seeing the reality of that – pasty men battling one another to get their credit cards to the cashier before the other – is truly hilarious stuff.

3. Coffin Flop

This is the second sketch of the entire season…the second! And holy shit, does it set a strong precedent for what’s to come. This impassioned message from the Corncob TV CEO for Spectrum to save his network and its precisely one television program is a masterclass in shock humor. Watching body after body busting out of shit wood somehow never loses its grim luster. Somehow, in a sketch that features dozens of naked corpses flopping to the ground unexpectedly, it’s Robinson’s monologue that hits the hardest. “This world is so fucked up. And people are mad at me because I showed a bunch of naked dead bodies with their spread blue butts flying out of boxes? Really?”

2. Calico Cut Pants

Every episode of I Think You Should Leave season 2 features five sketches save for episode 4 which has only three. And that’s because episode 4 is dominated by a near 10-minute epic called “Calico Cut Pants.” In many ways, Calico Cut Pants is the platonic ideal of an ITYSL sketch. It takes place in a nightmarish world where every bizarre action only leads to an even more bizarre reaction. Nothing ever cools down. There is always something stranger on the horizon.

In this instance, Mike O’Brien (longtime SNL writer and the creator of the terminally underrated comedy A.P. Bio) plays an office drone who enters into a living hell merely because his co-worker helps him out of a mildly annoying social jam. Robinson’s character introduces him to a website that advertises pants with piss stains on them. That’s all well and good but once you know about Calicocutpants.com you Always. Have. To. Give. It’s like PBS, but more demonic. This remarkable sketch includes everything that’s great about this show, right down to characters with inexplicable idiosyncrasies like Tim Robinson’s adamance that doors must always be held open for him.

1. Ghost Tour

The funniest moment in ITYSL season 2 (and maybe the funniest moment in the history of the world) occurs in this sketch. Tim Robinson’s character has been admonished for his potty mouth during a ghost tour over and over again. The tour guide even said he’s ruining his job. But this poor man sincerely cannot understand why he’s in trouble. This is a tour for adults and he’s following the rules by using adult language. Like any good Robinson character, he truly believes that he’s the sane one and it’s the rest of the world that’s taking crazy pills.

So in his darkest moment, the man musters up his strength through tears and delivers the following query:

“Not trying to be funny. Not trying to get a laugh. I don’t want anybody to have the worst day at their job. But. Do any of these….fuckers….ever blast out of the wall and have, like a huge cum shot?”

Cue: riotous, damn near apocalyptic laughter. What a treasure and blessing this whole show is.

I Think You Should Leave season 2 is available to stream on Netflix now.

The post I Think You Should Leave Season 2: Ranking Every Sketch appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3yCWxMF

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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mceproductions · 4 years ago

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When you’re still waiting on the ball to drop.

For anyone who needed a refresher of the past month here in review is my countdown of the years best.

Best of 2020

Movies

1. 1917

2. Wonder Woman 1984 WW84

3. Sonic the Hedgehog

4. Pixar’s SOUL

5. JoJo Rabbit

6. Christopher Nolan’s TENET

7. Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

8. Bill and Ted: Face the Music

9. The Invisible Man and Bad Boys for Life

10. Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of one Harley Quinn

11. Impractical Jokers: The Movie

12. Trolls World Tour

13. Onward

14. DA 5 Bloods

15. Mulan

Runners Up:

Hamilton

Scoob!

Greyhound

The King of Staten Island

Borat: Subsequent MovieFilm

Honorable Mention:

Weathering With You

Worst Movies

1. Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island

2. Artemis Fowl

3. Stargirl

TV Shows

Best New Show of 2020 Nominee*

Winner^

1. The Mandalorian (Disney+)

2. The Last Dance (ESPN)

3. Star Wars the Clone Wars (Disney+)

4. My Hero Academia (ADULT SWIM)

5. RWBY (Rooster Teeth)

6. The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS) and The Daily Show and Daily Social Distancing Show with Trevor Noah (Comedy Central)

7. Modern Family (ABC)

8. Close Enough (HBO MAX)^

9. Arrow (CW) and SNL and SNL At Home (NBC)

10. The Boys (Amazon Prime)

11. Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO) and The Witcher (NETFLIX)*

12. SpongeBob (NICK) and Late Night with Seth Meyers (NBC)

13. The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC) and Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

14. TONIKAWA: Over the Moon for You (Crunchyroll) and The Good Doctor (ABC)

15. Animaniacs (HULU)*

16. Steven Universe Future (CN) and Ducktales (Disney)

17. Bob’s Burgers (FOX)

18. Black Clover (ADULT SWIM)

19. Conan (TBS)

20. Japan Sinks 2020 (NETFLIX) and Stargirl (CW/DC Universe)*

21. Westworld (HBO)

22. Supernatural (CW)

23. Better Call Saul (AMC)

24. The Simpsons (FOX) and Star Trek: Picard (CBS ALL ACCESS)*

25. Infinity Train (CN/HBO Max)

Runners Up:

The Late Late show with James Corden (CBS)

The Flash (CW)

Will & Grace (NBC)

The 100 (CW)

Greys Anatomy (ABC)

Honorable Mention:

Henry Danger (NICK)

Worst TV Shows

1. Bakugan Battle Planet (CN/NETFLIX)

2. Cursed (NETFLIX)

3. Station 19 (ABC)

Music

1. Chrissy Costanza “Hero Too”

2. The Weeknd “Blinding Lights”

3. Katy Perry “Smile”

4. Andra Day “Rise Up”

5. BTS “Dynamite”

6. Billie Eilish “No Time to Die”

7. Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande “Rain on Me”

8. Taylor Swift “Cardigan”

9. RADWIMPS “Well Be Alright”

10. Coldplay “Everyday Life”

11. Will Ferrell and My Marianne “Volcano Man” and Miley Cyrus “Midnight Sky”

12. Casey Lee Williams “Touch the Sky”

13. Jon Batiste “It’s All Right” and Arianna Grande and Justin Bieber “Stuck with U”

14. Harry Styles “Watermelon Sugar”

15. Justin Bieber “Yummy”

16. Katy Perry “Daises” and Sonya Belousova and Giona Ostinelli “Toss A Coin to Your Witcher”

17. One Republic “Better Days”

18. Ariana Grande “Positions”

19. Lady Gaga “Stupid Love”

20. Walk Off the Earth “The Journey Starts Today”

21. SZA and Justin Timberlake “The Other Side”

22. Justin Bieber and Chance the Rapper “Holy”

23. Wyld Stallyns “Face the Music”

24. Lee Brice “One of them Girls”

25. Jaden Smith “I’m Ready”

26. Billie Eilish “Therefore I Am”

27. Cardi B and Megan Thee Stalion “WAP”

28. Travis Scott “The Plan”

29. Jack Harlow “Whats Poppin”

30. Roddy Rich “The Box”

Runners Up:

Ramin Djiwaldi “Sweet Child O Mine”

Will Ferrell and My Marianne “Ja Ja Ding Dong”

RADWIMPS “Is There Still Anything That Love Can Do?”

BTS and Sia “On”

Chelmico “Easy Breezy”

Honorable Mention:

Bob Dylan “I Contain Multitudes”

Worst Music:

1. 6ix9ine and Nicki Minaj “Trollz”

2. Idles “The Lover”

3. Brandi Carlilie “Carried Me with You”

Game of the Year

Animal Crossing New Horizons^

Ghost of Tsushima*

Spider-Man: Miles Morales*

Microsoft Flight Simulator*

Among US*

Worst Game of The Year

Madden NFL 21

#music #tv shows #movies #tie #best of 2020 #best tv shows of the year #best of 2020 music #best new tv show of 2020 #year in review #2020 video games #game of the year #best of the year #best music of the year #best movies of 2020 #best tv shows of 2020

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cave-cryptid · 3 years ago

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I N C R E D I B L E

What are the styles of your weaponry, the vibes if you will {that is unfortunate your weapons aren't sharpened, you should invest in a quality whetstone so when the time comes you'll be ready}. *sobs in solidarity* I've also never been to a renaissance festival but it's honestly a life goal, if I don't get to dress up like Aragorn or as some sort of elvish archer to attend the joust at least once in my life then what's the point? {Funny story someone I know went to a festival wearing a Burger King crown and carrying two lightsabers and no one knew what to do}

The Blessed Raisin Bread, the Saga. XD I hope you've gotten your hands on some good bread lately too!

answer this on the next good day you have and tell me about your day!!! <333

Heyyy knife friend !!

I haven't ignored your ask nor forgotten about it I want you to know, it's just

Hngngngngjg

A difficult ask.

I've not been in a good way lately, and my brain likes to make me remember all the things that go wrong so tHat would've been an easy ask!

But a good day, don't know if this counts but I have quite bad anxiety, including especially driving anxiety, and I had to drive a solid 25 minutes to my destination the amount of adrenaline coursing through my body right now is insane and I made it and despite feeling mildly sick that's a success I suppose so a

✨good day✨ I guess.

also had some incredibly tasty raisin bread this morning

Thanks for the ask!!! Hope you've had a good day too!!

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ramajmedia · 6 years ago

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Screen Rant's Fall 2019 TV Premiere Dates | Screen Rant

Although TV is a year-round dumping ground for content these days, the promise of new and returning shows in the fall is still reason enough to get excited. For one thing, the broadcast networks are sticking with their tried-and-true model of pushing big new premieres around this time of year, and 2019 is no different. ABC, CBS, FOX, NBC, and The CW all have a variety of new series set to make it or break it in the increasingly competitive Peak TV arena. And while the return and expansion of the Arrowverse, as well as new shows like CBS' anticipated Evil, and the fourth and final season of NBC's The Good Place all make a solid case for traditional TV continuing its ways, fall 2019 also brings two new streaming services to the table: Disney+ and Apple TV+.

While Apple TV+'s slate looks interesting and will certainly garner plenty of attention with titles like The Morning Show, For All Mankind, and Dickinson, it's the arrival of Disney's pop culture juggernaut, armed with a litany of Marvel and Star Wars titles (oh, and High School Musical) that's bound to set the internet on fire. To that end, other streaming services like Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hulu (though the latter is technically now an offshoot of Disney+) will need to step up their respective game to continue earning those subscription dollars.

As such, the Fall 2019 TV premiere is going to be more crowded and more competitive than in years past. While it remains to be seen how many new subscribers both services will have on launch day, it stands to reason Apple and Disney will be stealing the limelight for much of November. Until then, check out the premiere dates for the new and returning shows this fall:

Monday, September 2

Untouchable — Hulu

Tuesday, September 3

Mayans M.C. — FX, 10pm

Wednesday, September 4

Wu-Tang: An American Saga — Hulu

Dog’s Most Wanted — WGN America, 8pm

Friday, September 6

Elite — Netflix

The Spy — Netflix

Titans — DC Universe

Monday, September 9

The Deuce — HBO, 9pm

Tuesday, September 10

Mr. Mercedes — Audience Network, 10pm

Thursday, September 12

The I-Land — Netflix

Mr. Inbetween — FX, 10pm

Midnight: This Close — Sundance, 10pm

Friday, September 13

Undone — Amazon

TOP PICK: Unbelievable — Netflix

Inspired by the real events in The Marshall Project and ProPublica Pulitzer Prize-winning article, "An Unbelievable Story of Rape," written by T. Christian Miller and Ken Armstrong, and the This American Life radio episode, “Anatomy of Doubt”, with episodes directed by Oscar nominees Susannah Grant and Lisa Cholodenko, "Unbelievable" is a story of unspeakable trauma, unwavering tenacity, and astounding resilience.

The Ranch — Netflix

Red Bull Peaking — The CW, 9pm

Room 104 — HBO, 11pm

Sunday, September 15

Country Music — PBS

Wednesday, September 18

American Horror Story: 1984 — FX, 10pm

Friday, September 20

Disenchantment — Netflix

Criminal — Netflix

Inside Bill’s Brain — Netflix

Sunday, September 22

71st Primetime Emmy Awards — FOX, 8pm ET/ 5pm PT

Monday, September 23

Team Kaylie — Netflix

The Neighborhood — CBS, 8pm

The Voice — NBC, 8pm

9-1-1 — FOX, 8pm

Bob Hearts Abishola — CBS, 8:30pm

All Rise — CBS, 9pm

Prodigal Son — FOX, 9pm

Bull — CBS, 10pm

Bluff City Law — NBC, 10pm

The Good Doctor — ABC, 10pm

Tuesday, September 24

NCIS — CBS, 8pm

The Resident — FOX, 8pm

The Conners — ABC, 8pm

Bless This Mess — ABC, 8:30pm

FBI — CBS, 9pm

This Is Us — NBC, 9pm

Empire — FOX, 9pm

Mixed-ish — ABC, 9pm

Black-ish — ABC, 9:30pm

NCIS: New Orleans — CBS, 10pm

New Amsterdam — NBC, 10pm

Emergence — ABC, 10pm

Wednesday, September 25

Chicago Med — NBC, 8pm

The Masked Singer — FOX, 8pm

The Goldbergs — ABC, 8pm

Schooled — ABC, 8:30pm

Chicago Fire — NBC, 9pm

Modern Family — ABC, 9pm

Single Parents — ABC, 9:30pm

Chicago P.D. — NBC, 10pm

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia — FXX, 10pm

Stumptown — ABC, 10pm

South Park — Comedy Central, 10pm

Crank Yankers — Comedy Central, 10:30pm

Thursday, September 26

Top Pick: Creepshow — Shudder

Based on the iconic 1982 film written by Stephen King and directed by George A. Romero, Creepshow stars David Arquette (Scream franchise), Adrienne Barbeau, Tobin Bell (Saw), Big Boi (Scream: The TV Series), Jeffrey Combs (Star Trek, Re-Animator), Kid Cudi (Drunk Parents), Bruce Davison (Longtime Companion, X-Men), Giancarlo Esposito (Better Call Saul), Dana Gould (The Simpsons, Stan Against Evil), Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica, Lucifer) and DJ Qualls (The Man in the High Castle, Supernatural).

Young Sheldon — CBS, 8pm

Superstore — NBC, 8pm

Grey’s Anatomy — ABC, 8pm

The Unicorn — CBS, 8:30pm

Perfect Harmony — NBC, 8:30pm

Mom — CBS, 9pm

The Good Place — NBC, 9pm

A Million Little Things — ABC, 9pm

Carol’s Second Act — CBS, 9:30pm

Sunnyside — NBC, 9:30pm

Top Pick: Evil — CBS, 10pm

EVIL is a psychological mystery that examines the origins of evil along the dividing line between science and religion. The series focuses on a skeptical female psychologist who joins a priest-in-training and a carpenter as they investigate the Church’s backlog of unexplained mysteries, including supposed miracles, demonic possessions and hauntings. Their job is to assess if there is a logical explanation or if something truly supernatural is at work.

Law & Order: SVU — NBC, 10pm

How To Get Away With Murder — ABC, 10pm

Friday, September 27

The Politician — Netflix

Transparent — Amazon

Hawaii Five-0 — CBS, 8pm

American Housewife — ABC, 8pm,

Fresh Off the Boat — ABC, 8:30pm

Magnum P.I. — CBS, 9pm

Blue Bloods — CBS, 10pm

Van Helsing — SYFY, 10pm

Sunday, September 29

America’s Funniest Home Videos — ABC, 7pm

The Simpsons — FOX, 8pm

God Friended Me — CBS, 8:30pm

Bless The Harts — FOX, 8:30pm

Bob’s Burgers — FOX 9pm

Shark Tank — ABC, 9pm

Poldark — PBS, 9pm

NCIS: Los Angeles — CBS, 9:30pm

Family Guy — FOX, 9:30pm

The Rookie — ABC, 10pm

Robot Chicken — Adult Swim, 12pm

Next: October 2019 - Peaky Blinders, Raising Dion & More

Tuesday, October 1

Sorry For Your Loss —Facebook Watch

Wednesday, October 2

All Elite Wrestling — TNT, 8pm

SEAL Team — CBS, 9pm

Almost Family — FOX, 9pm

SWAT — CBS, 10pm

Friday, October 4

Big Mouth — Netflix

Peaky Blinders — Netflix

Top Pick: Raising Dion — Netflix

Raising Dion follows the story of a woman named Nicole (Alisha Wainwright), who raises her son Dion (newcomer Ja’Siah Young) after the death of her husband, Mark (Michael B. Jordan). The normal dramas of raising a son as a single mom are amplified when Dion starts to manifest several mysterious, superhero-like abilities. Nicole must now keep her son’s gifts secret with the help of Mark’s best friend Pat (Jason Ritter), and protect Dion from antagonists out to exploit him while figuring out the origin of his abilities.

The Blacklist — NBC, 8pm

WWE Smackdown — FOX, 8pm

Sunday, October 6

Batwoman — The CW, 8pm

Back to Life — Showtime, 8:30pm

Supergirl — The CW, 9pm

The Walking Dead — AMC, 9pm

Madam Secretary — CBS, 10pm

Star Wars Resistance — Disney Channel, 10pm

Mr. Robot — USA, 10pm

Monday, October 7

All American — The CW, 8pm

Black Lightning — The CW, 9pm

Tuesday, October 8

The Flash — The CW, 8pm

Wednesday, October 9

Riverdale — The CW, 8pm

Nancy Drew — The CW, 9pm

Thursday, October 10

Supernatural — The CW, 8pm

Legacies — The CW, 9pm

Friday, October 11

Charmed — The CW, 8pm

Dynasty — The CW, 9pm

Tuesday, October 15

Arrow — The CW, 9pm

Wednesday, October 16

Limetown — Facebook Watch

Friday, October 18

Looking For Alaska — Hulu

Modern Love — Amazon

Living With Yourself — Netflix

Sunday, October 20

Leavenworth — Starz, 8pm

Tuesday, October 22

Misery Index — TBS, 10pm

Wednesday, October 23

The Cry — Sundance, 11pm

Friday, October 25

The Kominsky Method — Netflix

Sunday, October 27

Silicon Valley — HBO, 10pm

Mrs. Fletcher — HBO, 10:30pm

Next: November 2019 - Disney+, Apple TV+ & More

Apple TV+ (TBD)

Dickinson — Apple TV+ (TBD)

The Morning Show — Apple TV+ (TBD)

For All Mankind — Apple TV+ (TBD)

Snoopy In Space — Apple TV+ (TBD)

Friday, November 1

American Son — Netflix

Sunday, November 3

Shameless — Showtime, 9pm

Kidding — Showtime, 10pm

Tuesday, November 12

Disney+ Launch Date

High School Musical — Disney+

Top Pick: The Mandalorian — Disney+

After the stories of Jango and Boba Fett, another warrior emerges in the Star Wars universe. The Mandalorian is set after the fall of the Empire and before the emergence of the First Order. We follow the travails of a lone gunfighter in the outer reaches of the galaxy far from the authority of the New Republic.

Friday, November 15

The Man in the High Castle — Amazon

Dollface — Hulu

Sunday, November 17

The Crown — Netflix

Ray Donovan — Showtime, 8pm

Sunday, November 24

Slow Burn — EPIX

Monday, November 25

College Behind Bars — PBS, 9pm

Next: December 2019 - The Expanse, Runaways & More

Friday, December 6

Reprisal — Hulu

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel — Amazon

Sunday, December 8

The L Word: Generation Q — Showtime, 10pm

Work in Progress — Showtime, 11pm

Friday, December 13

The Expanse — Amazon

Runaways — Hulu

Next: Kingdom Of The White Wolf Interview: Ronan Donovan On Nat Geo WILD’s New Event Series

source https://screenrant.com/fall-2019-tv-premiere-dates-new-returning-shows/

#screenrant

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milkichip · 9 months ago

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#supposedly daily barnes doodle #milk skribs #barney calhoun #burger calhoun #affectionate #pink #B-Burger Saga

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varsoviacomix · 8 years ago

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Cien novelas gráficas (2 de 3)

Esto es así, ntendemos como las mejores novelas gráficas no a las más populares, ni a las más vendidas, ni siquiera a las que tengan los dibujos más espectaculares, sino a las que se hayan convertido en las mejores historias, que reflejen los sentimientos más profundos de sus creadores, que tengan el valor necesario para ser consideradas como evidencias precisas del momento y el lugar en el que fueron creadas, sin importar su temática, su estilo, si no su capacidad para emocionarnos. (aquí hay un manifiesto de la novela gráfica que define todos estos asuntos en profundidad). Recuerden, la opinión del lector cuenta, no por impersonales votos, sino por opiniones emitidas, pueden sugerir obras nuevas o comentar twiteando a @_diegogue. Quiénes han seguido el Top desde el comienzo saben que muchas de las obras reseñadas (y una que otra que aun falta por leer y reseñar) las recomendaron ustedes, esperamos que lo sigan haciendo.

A partir de acá, y en estricto orden cronológico, la segunda entrega:

2002

David Boring

Por Daniel Clowes Usa 136 páginas Espléndida historia de juventud teñida de desesperanza y a ritmo de pesadilla en la cual un joven guardia de seguridad de 19 años, David Boring, conoce al amor de su vida y con ello, se adentra en una trama de venganza, humillación y asesinato. Novela de iniciación en la que un adolescente,en lugar de llegar a la adultez, se enfrenta al apocalipsis.

2002

Hicksville

Por Dylan Horrocks Nueva Zelanda 260 páginas En un remoto rincón de Nueva Zelanda se encuentra Hicksville, la ciudad perdida de los comics, una pequeña villa donde todos los habitantes son expertos en la materia, donde los viejos pelean por sus tiras cómicas preferidas como si fueran equipos de futbol o partidos políticos, donde se toma té en lugar de café y un joven autor puede hacer historietas autobiográficas que todos entienden y disfrutan y en donde la biblioteca contiene incunables por los que los coleccionistas pagarían fortunas. A ese mítico lugar llega Leonard Batts, el crítico de la revista Comics World a buscar información sobre el Gran Gatsby del noveno arte, el dibujante Dick Burger, que es oriundo de Hicksville. Lo que no sabe Batts, es que Burger oculta en su pueblo natal un oscuro secreto, y develarlo no será fácil para nuestro intrépido periodista, que descubrirá que los cómics, como género artístico y cómo memoria del siglo XX guardan tras de sí una historia amarga, la de un medio bastardo, y bastardeado, hasta la saciedad. Homenaje al cómic como acaso nunca se había hecho, esta novela gráfica del genial Dylan Horrocks, además de poner a Nueva Zelanda en la palestra internacional del universo comiquero es al noveno arte lo que Los detectives salvajes de Roberto Bolaño es a la literatura, o la película The Players de Robert Altman al cine: un retrato global de todo un universo, una reflexión sobre una disciplina artística escrita y dibujada con conocimiento de causa, y una historia llena de personajes entrañables, creíbles y muy humanos, contada con el singular sentido del humor de Horrocks, que a ratos nos hace reír, pero tal vez de pura tristeza.

2002

Bulevar de los sueños rotos

Por Kim Deitsch Usa 160 páginas En un tono tiernamente trágico, Kim Deitch reúne en El bulevar de los sueños rotos, la historia de 3 generaciones en el universo de los dibujos animados. Con homenajes, y burlas, a los precursores de este arte (Windsor McKay, Walt Disney), y con el impecable estilo de Deitch, se va deshilvanando una historia espléndida, donde juegan todo el tiempo la imaginería de la evasión de los cartoons de comienzos del siglo XX con los sueños rotos y las tragedias de toda una galería de personajes.

2002

The Diary of a Teenage Girl

Por Phoebe Gloeckner Usa 310 páginas Una historia acaecida en el San Francisco de 1970, donde la joven Minnie Goetzee era demasiado tímida para hablar con los chicos del colegio pero se acostaba con el novio de su madre. Minnie quiere ser una artista, una espeleóloga, o tal vez trabajar en un bar. Inspirado en su propio diario de adolescente, Gloeckner detalla los años libertinos de su juventud y su posterior caída en las adicciones y los abusos.

2003

Persépolis

Por Marjane Satrapi Francia 340 páginas La autora iraní cuenta en su autobiografía, con unos dibujos casi naif, la desgarradora historia de su pueblo y todas las dificultades por las que debió pasar por su condición de mujer intelectual en una sociedad absolutamente represiva, no sólo hacia las mujeres, sino prácticamente hacia cualquiera que se atreviera a pensar. El camino no es fácil para la joven Marjane, quien luego de emigrar de una sociedad fanática e injusta debe enfrentar el desarraigo en Europa, convirtiéndose en una extranjera del mundo.

2003

Locas

Por Jaime Hernandez USA 780 páginas Maggie ama a Hopey. Hopey ama a Maggie, pero a ratos. Cuando Hopey se va de gira con una banda punk hacia la costa este, Maggie, que no se ha repuesto del suicidio de su amigo Speedy, se lía con un viejo amigo de infancia, el pintor Ray... LOCAS es un inmenso retrato de personas y situaciones, como jamás se había hecho en cómic, en el cual Jaime Hernandez, a lo largo de más de diez años, plazmó el vacío de una generación y de un movimiento (contra) cultural, su condición de chicano a finales de los ochenta y militante de la movida punk de California queda en evidencia en las aventuras de esta pareja de punkeras de Hoppers y su grupo de amigos, pasando de la adolescencia rebelde a una adultez desencantada.

2003

Louis Riel

Por Chester Brown Canadá 265 páginas Una obra épica en cómic, en la que Chester Brown, con un formato de idénticos 6 paneles a lo largo de más de 250 páginas, en las que, con un dibujo pulido y sencillo, cuenta la vida de Louis Riel, un controvertido lider de la resistencia que puso en jaque al gobierno canadiense entre 1869 y 1885. Obra dramática y trágica, narrada con un lenguaje sobrio que no oculta una novedosa forma de asumir el tema épico, tanto por contar hechos históricos en cómic, como pro el distanciamiento con el que asume los temas tratados.

2003

Palomar: The Heartbreak Soup Stories

Por Beto Hernandez USA 512 páginas Palomar recopila las historias de Beto Hernandez referidas a la saga de Palomar publicadas originalmente en los 50 números de la primera etapa de la revista Love and Rockets.Y cuando decimos saga no nos referimos a la historia de una familia, si no de varias, el punto de conexión es Luba, una joven que, dejando atrás un pasado terrible, llega al pueblo centroamericano de Palomar. Luba primero conduce un negocio de baños en Palomar, luego llega a ser la alcalde del pueblo y finalmente regentará un cine. Por el camino tendrá varios hijos y varios amores, y trabará amistades y rivalidades con varios palomarenses, que tendrán todos vidas muy interesantes. Saga fronteriza que mezcla el origen mestizo del autor con su entorno californiano y punk. La mezcla de ambas culturas produce una de las obras más originales y valiosas de los cómics.

2003

Pyongyang: A Journey in North Korea

Por Guy Delisle Canadá 192 páginas En su condición de Director de animación, Guy Delisle debe viajar a diverso estudios de animación asiáticos adonde los estudios canadienses subcontratan el grueso de la producción. En Corea del norte está prohibido a los extranjeros tomar fotos o videos, pero Delisle lleva consigo algo aun más valioso de sus viajes, su experiencia de vida. En un tono afable, nos habla de la vida cotidiana en el país con el regimen más totalitario del planeta, donde algunos de los mejores dibujantes de la animación mundial permanecen en el anonimato ganando miserias, y donde la sociedad entera ha sido educada en el miedo y el odio a occidente. Este libro, y los demás libros de Delisle dedicados a sus viajes son un género en si mismo, una suerte de documental, de crónica periodística, narrada en cómic.

2006

Nonnonba

Por Shugeru Mizuki Japón 432 páginas Célebre como autor de comics de terror muy populares, en su madurez Shigeru Mizuki se ha dedicado a crear novelas gráficas más personales, de entre las cuales destaca Nonnonba, relato en el que un niño, Shige Muraki, se interesa en lo sobrenatural a través de su vecina, la anciana NonNonBa. En estos años de la niñez, marcados por la pobreza, a la par del universo de lo fantástico, el pequeño Shige descubrirá además su propia inclinación artística.

2003

Lost at Sea

Por Bryan Lee O'Malley Canadá 160 páginas Raleigh es una hermosa joven de piernas largas y un coeficiente intelectual muy elevado a la que un gato le robó el alma, o al menos esto último es lo que ella le dice a sus amigos. O no son del todo sus amigos, o no todavía, tan solo unos ex compañeros de la secundaria con los que aceptó compartir un largo viaje por carretera aunque no tengan mucho en común. O tal vez sí tienen cosas en común y este viaje los hará descubrir alguna cosa valiosa, o tal vez no.

2005

La ascensión del gran mal

Por David B Francia 360 páginas La autobiografía de David B supone, a la par de un planteamiento existencial descreído y desapasionado, un acercamiento al mundo de la epilepsia, que padecía el hermano del autor. Con esta premisa somos testigos de la historia de una familia, del final de la ocupación en Argelia, de los cambios sociales ocurridos en Francia entre los 60 y los 70, y de los diversos e inútiles intentos de cura para ese gran mal que no hace más que crecer.

2006

Aida en el confin

Por Vana Vinci Italia 116 páginas Aida llega a Trieste a olvidar a un amor y se encontrará a sus dos abuelos, el problema es que los abuelos de Aida estan muertos desde hace años, igual que Nino, solo que Nino no lo sabe, y el hecho de estar muerto no le impide tener un romance con Aida, al final, los cuatro tendrán mucho que decirse. Mirada femenina y profunda con sesgos autobiograficos, esta genial novela de la talentosa dibujante italiana Vanna Vinci es una reflexion en torno a la Segunda Guerra Mundial y finalmente, un relato gótico y romántico. con su trazo despreocupado pero firme, con influencias de fumetti clásico y de graphic novel americano, Vinci nos introduce en los confines de Aida y su mundo fantasmal.

2006

Cash: I See a Darkness

Por Reinhard Kleist Alemania 224 páginas La biografía de Johnny Cash, el cantante de Country má s popular de todos los tiempos. Rebelde, tacíturno, adicto, ídolo para fans de varias las generaciones Cash se convirtió en una leyenda aun en vida. El dibujante alemán Reinhard Kleist supo capturar la escencia de este trovador pendenciero y depresivo. Desde sus inicios campesinos hasta su consagración como artista y los discos tributo al pop de su vejez. Kleist no idealiza a Caxh, lo humaniza y contruye un gran retrato de un artista.

2006

La perdida

Por Jessica Abel Usa 288 páginas Carla parte a México en busca de sus raíces, convirtiéndose en una norteamericana desarraigada en un ambiente que nunca termina de comprender y donde sin quererlo se hace parte de una situación en la que jamás debería haberse involucrado. Lo que parece un slice of life se va a deshilvanando hasta convertirse en una historia policial equivalente a una novela de Patricia Highsmith.

2006

Los combates cotidianos

Por Manu Larcenet francia 180 páginas Le combat ordinaire de Manu Larcenet engaña por su apariencia, tiene el aspecto de un comic jovial, inocente y gracioso, cuando en realidad es un drama existencial bastante profundo, es la historia de Marco, un fotografo que encuentra su vida vacía después de dedicarse durante años a corresponsalías de guerra y ahora padece depresiones cronicas que lo obligan a seguir una terapia, Marco encuentra y desencuentra el sentido de la vida una y otra vez, dialoga e uintenta dialogar con su pareja, con viejos reaccionarios y con otros que no lo son tanto, intenta vivir, como todo el mundo, a lo largo de varios combates ordinarios.

2006

Bluesman

Por Rob Vollmar Usa 208 páginas Estructurada como una vieja canción de blues, esta novela gráfica sigue las andanzas del músico Lem Taylor a través de Arkansas al final de los años veinte. Acusado de un crimen que no cometió, Taylor debe enfrentarse a una sociedad intolerante y racista donde músicos talentosos como él son tratados como parias y se ven envueltos en historias sórdidas de las que es muy difícil, si no imposible escapar. Retrato de una época cruel para los grandes creadores de la música popular.

2006

Funhome

Por Allison Bechdel Usa 242 páginas En FunHome, la veterana dibujante Alison Bechdel emprende el relato de su infancia, marcada por el suicidio de su padre, un profesor de inglés que regentaba una funeraria y era además un homosexual reprimido. Con lo cual se inicia una tragicomedia familiar en la que Alison va descubriendo que, a diferencia de su padre, ella no va a negarse, ni a sí misma ni a los demás, su condición sexual. Artículo relacionado: Otras voces, otros ámbitos

2007

Tamara Drewe

Por Possy Simmonds Inglaterra 130 páginas Publicada originalmente por entregas en el periódico The Guardian, Tamara Drewe es la historia de una columnista de frivolidades que encontrará la orma de su zapato al regresar a su vieja casa natal en el campo, donde su presencia encenderá pasiones y dramas conyugales dentro de una muy particular colonia de escritores. Habrá parejas que se intercambiarán, adultos que se negarán a envejecer y adolescentes que querrán iniciarse en la vida adulta, y claro está, una serie de complicadas tensiones dramáticas que acabarán con una muerte. Artículo relacionado: Muchos escritores, un crimen y una mujer hermosa

2007

Ombligo sin fondo

Por Dash Shaw Usa 600 páginas Después de 40 años de matrimonio, Maggie y David reúnen a sus tres hijos en su casa de la playa para comunicarles su divorcio. Con la excepción de su hijo mayor, la noticia no será algo preponderante para los vástagos de la famila, más preocupados por encontrarse a sí mismos que por el fin de la relación de sus padres, que no ven como una tragedia. Un fin de semana largo en la playa, una familia disfuncional en la que algunos mimebros mantienen sólidos nexos y otros no comparten nada de nada. Con humor y con poesía el dibujante y cineasta Dash Shaw nos cuenta la historia de tres hermanos que se ven forzados a romper definitivamente un cordón umbilical que los limita y les impide ser adultos.

2007

Pequeños Eclipses

Por Fan y Jim Francia 298 páginas Un grupo de amigos abandona Paris por cuatro días hacia una casa de campo con el fin de ver un eclipse total de sol, el problema es que los protagonistas de esta historia ya no son tan jóvenes, ya no los acompaña la frescura y la situación es tensa, surgen recuerdos amargos, se reviven rencores, ocurren suituaciones incómodoas, discusiones, disputas, se cuestiona la amistad, el amor, al fidelidad y las ataduras, el eclipse que esperan ver se volvera una metafora de la situacion que vive cada uno. Aunque está contada con mucho humor, con alegria, Pequeños eclipses esconde un trasfondo oscuro, triste, y lúcido.

2008

El caso Sorge

Por Isabel Kreitz Alemania 258 páginas Isabel Kreitz narra con gran fidelidad histórica la leyenda del doctor en Ciencias Políticas Richard Sorge, socialista convencido que ejerció como periodista alemán y espía para el régimen de Stalin en la China y el Japón entre 1933 y 1941. Un hombre que cambió el curso de la guerra, pero que podría haber cambiado el curso de la historia si el dictador soviético no hubiera ignorado sus informes. Cuidadosamente dibujada a lapiz, El caso Sorge es una novela apasionante sobre una de esas historias oscuras y poco conocidas que ocurrieron durante la segunda guerra mundial.

2008

Kiki de Montparnasse

Por Catel y José-Louis Bocquet Francia 414 páginas Kiki de Montparnasse, nacida Alice Prin a comienzos del siglo XX, se convertiría en una de las figuras más notorias de la vida artística parisina de entre guerras. Vinculada a Modigliani, Duchamp, Desnos, Picasso, Cocteau y a muchos de los surrealistas, Kiki fue la musa y la inspiración de creadores que se convertirían en los nombres más importantes del arte moderno, como Foujita o Man Ray. Basándose en una existencia fuera de lo común la guionista Catel y el dibujante José-Louis Bocquet emprenden una biografía ambiciosa e inteligente, que rtrasciende a su personaje principal y nos hace el retrato de toda una época.

2008

Mi vida mal dibujada

Por Gipi Italia 143 páginas Siendo tal vez el dibujante italiano más relevante de su generación, Gipi nos cuenta una penosa anécdota de su vida personal: una visita al médico a causa de una extraña enfermedad que se ha dado a conocer disfrazada de un sarpullido en el pene. Célibe a la fuerza, paranoico, temeroso bajo la sombra de una enfermedad que nadie sabe identificar, Gipi hace un repaso de sus años de juventud (de sus experiencias con las drogas, de sus juergas y de sus amistades) y de su infancia (de su barrio y la gente que vive en él, de sus malas experiencias, de sus traumas –no superados, a pesar del tiempo transcurrido– y, otra vez, de sus amistades), mientras narra una interminable lista de visitas a diferentes médicos, cada uno más raro y fetichista que el anterior e incapaces todos de ofrecerle una cura.o parte de ella, a través de viajes reales y sicódelicos, problemas de salud y médicos fetichistas. Gipi se revela a sí mismo alternando el blanco y negro y el color, la cotidianidad y la fantasía, el drama y la comedia.

2008

Local

Por Brian Wood y Ryan Kelly Usa 376 páginas Local fue originalmente publicado como comic book independiente cubriendo a traves de doce entregas dode años de la vida de su protagonista, Megan McKeenan. Con dibujos de Ryan Kelly, y escrita por Brian Wood, Local es una road movie existencial que través de doce historias breves interconectadas, nos narra la historia de una joven que abandona Portland con tan solo una mochila y recorre ciudades y pueblos, encontrándose viejos amigos y conociendo situaciones y lugares. A lo largo de los doce años de su juventud Megan lucha por encontrar un lugar que pueda llamar su hogar, tanto física como espiritualmente.

2008

Berlin

Por Jason Lutes Usa 600 páginas Ambientada en los últimos años de la república de Weimar, Berlin nos cuenta la historia de un periodista, Kurt Severing, y Marthe Muller, una estudiante de arte, que en 1929 tratan de llevar sus vidas en una ciudad cuyo futuro se cierne incierto y oscuro. Berlin es una obra ambiciosa, extensa e inconclusa. Su autor el americano y ecléctico Jason Lutes, a lo largo de años ha ido publicando varios volúmenes de esta historia que prefigura el surgimiento del nazismo.

2008

Skim

Por Mariko Tamaki y Jillian Tamaki Usa 144 páginas "Skim" es Kimberly Keiko Cameron, una joven gótica que asiste a un colegio provado para señoritas. Cuando su amiga Katie es abandonada por su novio, quien además se suicida, el colegio entero sobre actúa el luto con actividades para subir la moral y Skim cae en la depresión, y enamorarse, en esas condiciones, parece solo empeorar las cosas. Escrito y dibujado por las primas Tamaki, Skim es ubn libro sofisticado y elegante que nos habla de suicidios, depresiones, amor ycondición sexual en la adolescencia.

2009

Blast

Por Manu Larcenet Francia 800 páginas En una comisaria un indigente es interrogado, en su relato conocemos una vida oscura, la de un marginado viviendo en un inframundo, la historia de una sociedad debajo de la sociedad. El relato de un hombre que representa a los desposeídos. Pero esto es solo el comienzo. Porque lo que en realidad nos cuenta Blast es la escalofriante reconstrucción de una serie de crímenes espantosos a partir del relato de un loco. Blast puede entenderse como un policial inclemente y emocionante, pero también como una obra existencial profunda y desesperanzada.

2009

El arte de volar

Por Antonio Altarriba y Kim España 208 páginas Un anciano se suicida arrojándose por la ventana de un asilo, se trataba de un antiguo veterano de la guerra civil española que solo dejó un cuaderno con sus memorias. Lo que surge de ahí es la impresionante historia de una derrota. A partir de las memorias de su padre, Antonio Altarriba reconstruye la gesta de un hombre que peleó en el bando de los vencidos y nunca logró rehacer su vida, enfrentándose a un destino cruel y a tragedias que jamás logró superar. Es la tragedia de un hombre, pero también la tragedia de España.

2009

Logicomix: An epic search for truth

Por Apostolos Doxiadis, Christos H. Papadimitriou, Alecos Papadatos Grecia 352 páginas Se trata en principio, de la odisea espiritual del filósofo Bertrand Russell cuya meta más ambiciosa era establecer fundamentos lógicos e inquebrantables de la matemática. A través del amor y del odio, de la guerra y la paz, Russell persistió en su misión poniendo en riesgo tanto su carrera como su felicidad, lo cual lo llevaría al borde de la locura. En Logicomix la vida de Rusell, en su agónica busqueda de la verdad funciona al mismo tiempo como biografía, como novela histórica y como explicación accesibe a algunas de las mayores ideas de la matemática y a filosofía modernas.

2009

Asterios Polyp

Por David Mazuchelli USA 344 páginas Asterios Polyp enseña griego en una universidad de Nueva York, cuando un rayo destruye su apartamento abandona la ciudad y se emplea como mecánico en un pueblo, vamos enterándonos de detalles de su infancia y su fallido matrimonio, sabiendo porqué Asterios es como es, y reconociendo los hallazgos existenciales que su inusual cambio de vida le han deparado. Mazuchelli emprende una obra a medio camino entre la novela posmoderna y la experimentación gráfica que se convierte en su cómic más importante hasta la fecha.

2009

Rebétiko

Por David Prudhome Francia 112 páginas Atenas, 1936, el Dictador nacionalista Metaxas persigue a los rebetis y a su forma de vida, confinándolos a la marginalidad y censurando canciones que hablan del amor, la delincuencia y las drogas. Stavros y su pequeño grupo de amigos, intérpretes todos de rebetiko serpentean a través de las callejuelas atenienses, de los ouzeris y de las plazas del mercado, esquivando a la policía y resolviendo violentamente disputas sobre hashish y mujeres. Son tiempos duros para un género musical surgido en los bajos fondos, pero más aun para los músicos que quieren tocar y contar sus historias.

2010

Alec

Por Eddie Campbell uk 638 páginas Eddie Campbell nos presenta una versión de su propia vida filtrada a través de su alter ego Alec MacGarry. A través de los años somos testigos de la evolución de Alec ( y de Eddie), desde la cerveza hacia el vino. Asistimos a unas noches desenfrenadas en los pubs escoceses, a la desesperanza existencial de la primera juventud, la búsqueda del amor, del arte, y más exactamente, la busqueda de convertir la vida en arte. En un tono despreocupado, permitiéndose todo tipo de meta textos, de variaciones, Campbell deshilvana su vida y su carrera como dibujante de cómics, su relación profesional y amistosa con Alan Moore y con Paul Gravett, con la industria editorial y con la cinematográfica, e incluso su aficción por ser dibujante de los juicios. Obra personal pero también retrato generacional y documento actitud d eun creador de novelas gráficas.

Muy pronto continuaremos, en el mismo orden cronológico, con las ultimas 34 novelas gráficas del listado, pero también con más artículos, sobre obras percusoras de la novela gráfica, adaptaciones literarias a cómic y más cosas.

#novela gráfica #cien novelas gráficas

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