#b) i don't feel like i can enter the fandom bc of how much of pll i havent seen

[kurthorton-moving]

I log into my other blogs multiple times every day and yet. Nothing Happens on them

[bidisaster-peanut-romano]

Throughout the entire game, who do you think are some of the most underrated or under-appreciated characters?

stumbling into the askbox whyyy hello there!!! it had been a while!!

OKAY SO. let's start from one fact: every. single. character has something special about them. so like the easy answer is... anyone, lmao. truth be told we (the whole community) has been around for llke, 18 years (WOAH) and some sides are completely unexplored. even just from the idea that... have you guys ever noticed how little content there is around about nerds and jocks, for exmple? and i don't only mean art but also writing, analysis, metas, thoughts and such. not to mention the townies, the townies, when, having some of them been given some actually adult attributes, there would be a lot to unpack.

i feel like this is a) mostly for the nerds, that the rightful fisgust for the horrible thing they did to mandy discourages a lot from engaging with them as characters too, and b) because they are quite overshadowed by the fan favorite preps and greasers. which, i mean, very legit. but i think that they do have a lot of potential, again, in terms of characterization and themes, and i feel like we are collectively missing out on a lot.

and there's also the fact that, even with the fan-favorites, there is so little tapping into the more serious and sometimes mature aspects. i wouldn't say christy is neglected by the fandom, but it's not often that i read someone talking about her repressed anger that explodes whenever she feels too much, that heirloom of her father that of curse she doesn't have, she isn't a problem boy like her brother, what do you mean with that, i could use this tie to strangle you goddammit! or vance, that we all love as the sunshine jokester of the greaser and heartbreaker queer icon, but how come none of us ever mention him having a canonical addiction, and what if his messy dating habits have to do with that, too? what if he's running from something inside himself, rushing to next best thing just so he can feel something?

but this is just me rambling as an introduction oops. so, just trying to list a couple of my favorites:

thad carlson (& dan wilson) (putting them together bc they're intrinsecally connected and while i do stand by the fact that he's wildly underappreciated in the fandom i would hit dan in the face with a brick): i would lterally give my first born for these two. they are what they actually wanted to write when they wrote about cain and abel. i'm not sure what is the exact reason why they have different last names, and i don't wanna enter headcanon territory here. what it does unavoidably indicate, though, is that they were doomed from the start. like it was written in their names. so, picture this: they were in the nerds together. they suffered the bullying, the abuse together. the humiliation tasted like blood in their mouths and shone like the stars they'd see with their heads smashed in a locker, but at least they knew their brother would've been there to hold them. there's something very visceral about suffering together with a brother. like the blood they share creates somewhat of a shell, one that can protect them from what is outside, that can give them the comfort that they will never be alone. whether they like it or not, their brother will forever be with them; it's inside them. except that thad had the rage of a wounded animal; dan had the fear of a small prey. so, while thad kept standing tall and proud and chin high against his bullies, dan started training and morphing until he could be accepted in the jocks. dan wasn't the bullied anymore. he was the bully. while his brother was still on the other side of the war- the side of the eternal losers, that is. the side that, no matter how many battles they will win, they will always be at a disadvantage. so thad has got all the hurt of having been betrayed by a half of himself, like the phantom pain of a lost limb. and the hurt makes him angrier and angrier and when he wants to take revenge on the jocks his brother is the first target he wants, because, see, he is the victim, his brother is cain who has killed abel. but also dan has got his head on backwards to look out for enemies and for anyone who might uncover him as the fraud he is, the way he just thought- they are just bullying me for what i am, so what if i become someone different? except that it's not like he didn't feel like a loser anymore, he just feels like a loser with a football sweater. so at that point you look at the direction of that violence, at where the anger and the resentment lies, and you stop there and wonder. who's cain there? who's gonna be the victim, who the executioner? like nathaniel orion said, "i want to kill him sometimes. i think sometimes he wants to die". i love them ur honor.

otto tyler: i have no literal idea why there is so so so little about him. admittedly, content about townies is in gnereal harder to track down, since they have... no last names.... for the most part. but the otto tag is absolutely desolated. this boy is what you'd call too angry to be this young. his first response to anything is extreme violence and fantasies of it. playing his audios you will be met with die, kill, die, kill, kill, die, die. and all of his vitriol is poured on the school, like they have all come together specifically to hunt him down. and he's been canonically hospitalized, as well; when you walk in the asylum for the first time (galloway away i believe) he tells you not to "anger the watcher"- but who is this watcher? the composition of the scene seems to implies it is the statue in the courtyard; the most coherent correspondence would be the orderlies you will have to avoid as you walk past them; maybe otto himself has just been told not to anger the watcher by the people who are supposed to take care of him, but that are just playing with his mind to make him too afraid not to behave. which, incidentally, doesn't sound too different from what he might have suffered at school. otto will ask you if you have ever punched a wall. he will swear he hates everyone in the school, that everyone in the school hated him, he will threaten to destroy it. otto is a landmine, he's an unstable kid who just needed some ground to stand on, and instead they placed him all alone on a shaking earth. all is anger is desperation, it's having spent too much time without a support system, too much time bound -to a chair, in a cell, in a straitjacket- surrounded by people who couldn't understand him. who stifled his expression instead of channeling all the feelings he had all the time, exploding and intense in an overwhelming and violent way. i like to think of him as an artist. he mentions tattoos; i like to imagine he's learning to do them himself. that he's finding that as an outlet for his expression. and yeah overall. i am a lot fond of otto, and i think he would have a lot to say.

mr. wiggins: look, this guy is super unlucky. he's the only teacher with no class minigame; he's only ever walking around, and if you saw him you probably mistook him for the more familiar mr. matthews. but believe me when i tell you he's a real one. example 1: when someone snithces to him, he says something along the lines of "thank you, but i will never be able to trust you again". BRO. let me tell you, in 1968 this guy was OUT on his college campus and he was MARCHING and RIOTING with workers and students. he even mentions having spent a night or two in JAIL. he will walk into class and say the nastiest things about reagan while he keeps saying that as a teacher he will have to be politically neutral as if he didn't just have a fight with hattrick about socialism.

[shouyuus]

new ask on the new blog!! i love the aesthetics!

glad to hear that things are going well on your part!! and yeah, i remember back in the days fandom on tumblr was more interactive, but it was also when we were all stuck at home because of external circumstances :’) i wish your bf all the best for finding a job… TT . TT i technically can enter tech, but i study design. i know user interface & user experience is an overlap of design and tech, but it’s highly competitive and i don’t really have the confidence… i don’t have a good portfolio to fall back on, haha. i think… looking at current happenings i am not optimistic about the economy either, but i will stay positive that eventually i’ll find something…

happy 30th birthday btw!!! what are 3 advice / tips you gained abt life or writing? (no pressure) — @anonymilk

you are so right soy sauce is the backbone of any great culinary dish… so are fics… i didn’t know soy sauce is shouyou in japanese! that makes your fic rec blog makes sense. ahhh, that’s so cute that your blog is technically soy sauce with inspiration from hinata and ur own name. i really like urls like that. so much story and meaning behind it XD how was it like setting up a brand new blog? any thing u might have done differently? — @anonymilk oh yes… what does it mean when a series is limited… — @anonymilk

gonna combine ur asks !!! hehe so! yes - the tech market is hard rn but i have faith and he's the best boi so he'll find something eventually; i think you'll def find something too! unfortunately i think in this economy, it rly just is about grinding and sending out a bunch of apps, and then eventually, something will come around.

thank u for the bday wishes!!!! hmmm 3 pieces of advice? i think:

don't be afraid of being silly! growing up is overrated and yes, there's a time and a place for that, but don't let go of the things that bring you joy, no matter how "weird" they are, or how "niche" or whatever. if it makes u happy, then it makes you happy!

sometimes ur emotions aren't a choice, but whenever they are, you're allowed to make the choice to not feel a thing -- this was a bit harder for me to learn, bc its hard to think of being like "in control" of ur emotions without trying to be like deny, deny, nope, nope, nope. but at least for me "choosing" not to feel a certain type of way is acknowledging like "cool okay so, my body/brain is having this type of kneejerk reaction, and that's fine, but also im not gonna let it consume me" and after that, it gets a bit easier to handle

specifically about writing? don't be so hard on urself! :) this is a true passion project right -- we don't make money, we do it bc we want to and it makes us happy, and it maybe makes a few other ppl happy too, and that's a pretty cool thing! ur allowed to take breaks, to step away, to do you and live ur life and come back to this hobby later! it'll always be here waiting for you

T B H setting up the new blog was kinda stressful but FUn stressful. like it took an obscene amount of time to figure out the kind of aesthetic i wanted to have, and then to like... re-acquaint myself with html and photoshop and all that LOL but im rly happy with how it's turning out so far !!!

and yES so a limited series is just like... a mini-series. so in tv that's like 3-4 episodes instead of a 10-12 episode "season" of tv. and i borrowed that term bc instead of having like 10 chapters, this "series" is only rly like... 4 chapters and a bit more so !!! that's all!

[rahleeyah]

You just know this fandom has trust issues when we get something like THAT on a promo yet half of twitter is being suspicious and negative. HOW??? No matter how this goes, it's clearly so fucking good!!!!

We have spent so long at the mercy of people who genuinely hated us and resented everything we stand for and we have time and time again been built up to hope for something good and been slapped in the face and mocked for being so stupid as to believe we might possibly one day get to have one nice thing so I'm not shocked. It's brutal out there fam.

I have taken Twitter off my phone. To tell you the truth I started spiralling into a bleak headspace about halfway thru oc last night without even glancing at Twitter, and to protect myself I'm taking a few days away.

I shared my dark thoughts last night - when my darling @racethewind10 so eloquently told me to knock it off and go the fuck to sleep - but I shared them with people who I knew a) cared about me and were interested in my opinion and b) were not vulnerable to catching the infection of existential dread I'd come down with. I don't share those thoughts widely bc I know that I'm vulnerable to the doom and gloom, and I don't want to inflict that on anyone else who might also be, who might otherwise have been perfectly content.

There's a lot of feelings and a lot of speculation, and we have entered a time that can be great - all the excitement! The hope! The joy! - and can be terrible - the looming dread! The spiralling into worst case scenarios!! - and I am not going to be participating in much speculation in the coming days for the sake of my own well being.

I want to be excited, and I am directing my energy there, but to anyone who is feeling uncertain or battling with dread I just want to say: you're not alone, and whatever happens we're gonna be ok.

[absolutebl]

I’ve been watching BL for about 3+ years now and consumed my fair share of series and I have to say the actors’ responsibilities to their characters/series off set is starting to feel very “gay for pay”. What I mean is the majority of the actors, in my opinion, seem very obviously straight but the shipping culture, rabid fans delusions on their personal lives, and requirements to always appear like a couple when In public (fan meets, interviews, reaction videos of their work, variety shows, selling products on live, etc.), make it so that they must always be “on” even upon wrapping their series and this makes me veryy uncomfortable and I feel bad for them. It takes the artistry or this is work element out of what is clearly just a job. I for one try to avoid most of the “IRL” stuff actors do outside of the series itself bc it’s makes me just so uncomfortable and embarrassed…. On another note, it seems like many of these actors take on BL to break into the industry. Is there much success in a popular BL actor pivoting into “mainstream” or non BL celebrity? Bright Vicharawit seems to be doing well and Mew Suppasit. Although I hate to say Mew’s career pivot rubs me entirely the wrong way bc I feel like he didn’t bow out of BL gracefully but used BL and the popularity of his shipped couple and dropped it all like a bad habit trying to erase its existence from his history... I’m sorry my bitter might be showing on that last bit haha. I hope I made some sort of sense. Thanks!

Yes, it's weird, creepy, and exploitive - from all sides. That's why I avoid all the fan service stuff.

With respect to Thai actors? I actually don't know if BL can be seen as "breaking in" since BL the big guns of the industry there. Where else is there to go? Het dramas are less popular, at least outside of the country. Not sure what's going on internally.

Presumably, Mew is getting this chance, and it's a big one, because he looks, well, like Mew (very appealing to a Korean aesthetic), and also I'm assuming speaks Korean well enough to get by. Also, he was always a very very ambitious boy, that one.

I won't blame him entirely for anything tho, MAME's actors seem to have it the worst.

I have my reservations about Korean BL too. I think some of the boys *think* they are getting a leg up but... still too short to ever be leading men material (by Korea's standards). Especially the idols. (”Ieg up” ... see what I did there?) And I think doing BL there can still do more harm than good because of the homophobia (like what happens in China). I think some of the working actors who happened into BL (like the To My Star Boys) seem to be realistic and have fun about it, but they're both established in themselves as people and as actors BEFORE the fandom happened to them.

Japan and Taiwan it's just another job. There seems to be neither weight nor stigma (these days, it was different a decade ago). You can gain a bit of international cred and some sweet modeling and sponsorship deals (see the Cherry Magic boys) and maybe a follow up gig in the form of a movie or whateves, but that's more like just... being part of a successful show.

I don't know, kids becoming celebrities. It's never gonna be pretty, that gruesome combination of performative ego, accelerated attention and wealth, parasocial relationships the then add.... fake dating the same sex in a largely hostile society.

Can't imagine any of these youngsters come out not borked in the head.

Now the ones like MaxTul or even, maybe, MileApo who clearly talked about this and how to handle it with each other, and have some kind of game going on (with each other and us as fans), and entered the situation more grown up aware and mature age-wise (and therefore somewhat fixed in ego and personality) - I don't worry so much about them.

But mostly, since PerthSaint went south what, 4 years ago was it? Yeah, it's ALL creepy.

That's enough of this kinda gossip.

(this post from this one on my reservations about pair branding)

[jiannguo]

I don't understand why bjyx accounts even exist anymore. Like how can anyone think that there's anything between them at this point? Some stuff I've seen is ridiculous. Like "oh, Xiao Zhan posted a picture that has bread in it, it means that he misses wyb" or "both of them posted spring festival pictures that have chicken feet, it must mean that they're together celebrating." I even saw one that said that the red envelope that Xiao Xhan got last spring festival must be from wyb bc it's so pretty his parents probably wouldn't have made the effort. Like why wouldn't they have, and to my understanding as a non-Chinese person is that that's not how that works. Like wtf?

I personally don't think there's anything between them except maybe friendship or just an acquaintance, but to shippers it doesn't matter. There's ships for XZ with Reba, LiQin, YangZi, even Liu ShiShi (The other day I stumbled on a XZ and YangYang ship 🤣).

I saw someone yesterday compare a black and white photo of XZ and WYB imdividually saying its a CP pose 🤣 In reality, it's just an emo pose in b&w taken by hundreds of other actors as well. Not to mention these two photos in question were taken more than a year apart.

And not every brand that puts red and green together are promoting their CP (like wtf abt Christmas lmao).

Every single international CP fans have a similar tag line, exact same like was used many times before "their Chinese shipper fans know everything but they're protecting their relationship *cough every CP out there*"

Also it's hard for them to realise that majority of actors, whatever they wear in public events or ads are "given" to them by the sponsors, which would also require permission from the brand. (There have been Chinese actresses who got in trouble with brands who wore their outfits without permission, and brands forced them to delete every photo). So no... brand outfits aren't CP outfits. Almost every brand item gets worn by someone else after work is complete.

I feel the reason why their presence feel too much on international social media is because XZ's biggest international hit is CQL and the international fanbase have stemmed from there. But in reality in CN, they're not a big fanbase compared to both the actor's individual fanbase (just compare their numbers). They're just loud, and when they scream SZD everywhere, it's just them screaming that they're shippers or fujoshis, which makes it so weird in itself...

I ignore them for the most part, frankly speaking most are pretty much stuck at CQL, they hardly talk about or promote their latest dramas. They pretty much survive on these oddball stories that make its way from weibo, embellish and spread them. They would never look at Gu Yiye for instance 😆😆 It soooo breaks their fantasy!

I am an ex shipper from Addicted/Guardian fandom, so getting out of this whole business, have provided a lot of clarity on how CP fandom actually thrives. And there is a huge backend financial interest behind it (they make a ton on CP merch, infact any outsider vendor who just even hints at promoting the two gets sell out too). Here's another example, there are douyin/wechat accounts which is a pay as you go, you have to pay to enter and get candy.

I can keep going on and on, but honestly my only request is if you like Xiao Zhan, watch and promote his works. That is the kind of fan we should be.

His personal life, none of our business.

[maysbanks]

hold out. (jj maybank)

here it is, the second part to hypersonic missiles ! the response to the first part was absolutely amazing, the support & love in this fandom is incredible & i just wanna say a huge thank you to all of you that take the time to like, reblog & comment, every single one means so much !! gotta admit im not loving this as in it's not my best work and kinda all over the place & half way through writing this i almost scrapped the whole thing to rewrite the full series with an oc bc writing as the reader was starting to get to me lol. but alas here it is & as always i hope u enjoy x

warning: swearing, drug use, underage drinking, violence etc 

summary: after accidentally inserting herself into a treasure hunt with four teenagers, one of which could be considered her 'friend with benefits', y/n grubbs is left to deal with the complications and misfortunes that come along with it - including her ever-growing feelings for said 'friend with benefits'. 

( gif isn't mine! please let me know if it's yours so i can credit you. )

If someone had told you a week before that you would lose your father, get your house raided by two men you had never seen before in your life, make friends with a group of teenagers, embark on a two hundred year old treasure hunt with said teenagers, and be hanging out with JJ Maybank every day and willingly, all in the space of one week; you'd have laughed in their face, asked them what drugs they were on and could you have some, and then laugh in their face again.

But alas, there you were. You still couldn't quite believe it, especially the JJ part. You'd had worries at first, like would the gang really want you involved, did they secretly hate having you around, were they just being nice and letting you in on this because your dad had died? All the doubts swirled in your mind, running around like clock-work, just ticking away constantly in the back of your head. Surprisingly, JJ had been the one you'd gone to about them.

"I just feel guilty," you'd said. It was after a day of riding around in John B's boat and using fancy hotels' WiFi, and 'borrowing' a drone from JJ's dads old workplace. His eyebrows furrowed when he looked at you, confused. "I mean, you guys have been friends for like, forever. And then I just show up and you conveniently find out about John B's dad and the treasure hunt on the same day when I'm there, and it's just like - I don't belong with you guys, it's your thing and I'm just kinda, here." 

"You're part of this just as much as we all are," he'd told you, matter of fact. His body was angled to face you as you sat outside John B's self-proclaimed Chateau, a freshly rolled blunt being passed back and forth between the pair of you. "You need to stop doubting yourself, man. You're apart of us now." 

The words had warmed your heart, an instant smile being spread on your lips as you looked at him through red-rimmed eyes. Underneath the setting sun, he looked almost angelic; his golden hair blowing in the slight breeze, tanned skin exposed due to the heat. You had pretended not to notice the tense of the muscles in his arms whenever your fingers brushed when you passed the juul between yourselves. 

"You're too kind to me, Maybank," you'd grinned, boot-clad foot nudging his knee gently. "If I didn't know you so well I'd have thought you'd have ulterior motives."

"Who says I haven't?" He'd smirked back. You'd just smiled, teeth biting down on the plump skin of your bottom lip before you'd looked away from his burning gaze and focused your attention on anything, anywhere but JJ fucking Maybank.

You got along with the gang amazingly, you couldn't doubt that. Pope was the smartest guy you'd met, sweet and funny and passionate and so certain of what he wanted to do in life. Kiara, or Kie, as you'd come to call her, was very environmentally involved, almost too cool for the guys, you thought. She cared so much about so many things, and she had a great taste in music too. John B was a bit like you, you supposed. Fatherless, on the hunt for answers, things like that - but other than that he was a great guy, the makeshift leader of the little group, a little lost in life, but that was to be understood.

And then there was JJ. You felt most comfortable around the blonde, but that was kinda a given too, due to the fact you'd seen each other in your most vulnerable states that came with having sex rather regularly, something the other members of the gang didn't share. He was a spit-fire, always ready to throw a punch and fire threats at those who deserved it, head-strong and stubborn. But he was more so caring, God he cared so much for his friends, you'd discovered. He would do just about anything for them, whatever position that put him in. JJ put the gang before himself, always. You'd noticed all different types of things about JJ especially, little things you had never taken the time to notice before.

These little discoveries probably came from watching him too much, you'd thought one night. It was a bit of a problem, though you never mentioned it. The unspoken rule amongst the group was No Pogue on Pogue Macking, which basically meant everyone was off limits to each other. You understood the rule, Kie having been the only girl before you'd arrived on the scene amongst three guys, and after becoming apart of the gang you had no choice but to respect it - which also meant that JJ was off limits. But was he technically off limits when you'd already been there, so far past the line on macking with each other?

There was some sort of agreement between the two of you, that in order to make this work; your friendship with the Pogues, the hunt for the Merchant's treasure, that nothing could happen. You'd spoken briefly about it that first day, outside the lighthouse beside the Twinkie (John B's van, you'd learned had a nickname), we're cool, right? Pretend we haven't seen each other naked, conversation. It had been cut short, but it still happened. And the pair of you never mentioned it after that, a few off-handed comments here and there from JJ, but nothing specific. So you assumed yours and JJ's hook ups were off the table, and you had no idea why that had come to bother you so damn much.

On the day following your talk with JJ on John B's porch, he'd invited you to come along with him and Pope as they delivered groceries for Pope's dad, Heyward. You had almost said no, because really, you could probably do with a break from the Maybank boy, all the time spent with him was doing no favours for your little situation of Fighting Attraction While Hunting For Gold. That's what you were putting it down to in your mind anyway, too much time spent with the person you're sleeping with can begin to mess with anyone's head, and hey, maybe it was the fact that you were grieving and JJ was familiar - but you couldn't be doing with all these thoughts anymore.

Despite the angel on your shoulder urging you to turn his offer down, you'd said yes. But that was little to do with JJ and more to do with your mom and your current home situation, which was unbearable, to say the least. Your mother was barely speaking to you, as if she was scared of letting something slip if she did. In return, you shut her out, too. Told her lame excuses and empty lies when you were heading out with the gang, lying through your teeth when she'd asked where you were or where you were going.

Lana Grubbs wasn't a stupid woman, though, and you knew she knew you were up to something. But she hadn't mentioned anything outright yet, and so you hadn't said anything either. The hole your father had left was huge and gaping, evident in both your lives. You hadn't spoken about it yet, and you weren't intending to until she could be completely honest with you. You didn't want to hear anymore lies, and you were already on the path to discovering the full truth. On your own.

Her words echoed in your mind every time you left the house, voice small and gentle as she never failed to say the same thing. "Just be careful." You'd always look over your shoulder, and she'd never look back at you. She hadn't looked at you much at all since your dad had died.

It was after a certain drop-off of groceries, you'd joined JJ in his delivery whilst Pope had docked the boat and gone off to deliver his own, yours and JJ's strides matching as you walked the seemingly never-ending drive of the abnormally large house that loomed over you. The Kook part of the island never ceased to intimidate you, no matter how much you didn't want it to. There was something about it, the people that lived amongst it, that unsettled you whenever you entered it. Figure Eight wasn't somewhere you usually visited other than an odd job you'd picked up, and you were reminded why of that fact as you walked alongside JJ.

"Just think," he breathed, all starry eyed and parted lips as he gazed around the pair of you. "This could all be ours soon."

You snorted, bumping his side with your own. "Don't be melodramatic, JJ,"

"I'm serious!" JJ protested. His sea blue eyes caught yours when he turned his head to look at you head-on. The intensity of his stare almost made you stop in your spot, but you managed to carry on, gulping when his eyes continued to hold yours. "I'm sticking to my earlier statement, right, we're going to move here, and out-rich all these fuckin' Kooks."

"Out-rich?" You raised an eyebrow, lips quirking. "Your grammar is so adequate, Maybank."

"It's a word," JJ insisted, nudging your side with the point of his elbow. "Who the fuck uses words like adequate these days, anyway? I don't even think Mrs. Humphrey knows what that word means."

You laughed at the mention of your shared English teacher, the grey-haired, short, spectacle wearing woman immediately entering your mind. JJ grinned when he heard your laugh, dimples winking in his cheeks.

"Mrs. Humphrey can't even spell Wednesday," you giggled, JJ chuckling along with you as he nodded. "It's a wonder how that woman has been working there for like, eighteen years or something."

Your steps faltered as you neared the door to the house, pace slowing as you both basked in the time spent with each other, though neither of you would admit it. "She was probably a good teacher at first," JJ said thoughtfully, shuffling the groceries in his hands. (You tried not to notice the way his arms looked when he did that, muscles clenching and on full show with his cut-off tank.) "I bet each year another brain cell of hers just like, dies."

"Wouldn't surprise me," you nodded. "Mine would attempting to teach classes full of teenagers," rather dramatically, you shuddered. "Especially if one of those teenagers was JJ Maybank."

"Hey!" JJ shouted, though his grin proved that he found your jab amusing. You laughed along with him, bumping his side once more as you finally landed at the door, watching as he turned to you, expression trying to be serious and failing, rather horribly. "You better watch yourself, Grubbs. I'm serious here, I can be a pretty scary guy if need be, y'know."

You didn't doubt that, of course. You'd seen JJ in action with your own two eyes, you knew what he was capable of. But somehow, stood with you there, on the doorstep of some filthy rich Kook's mansion, groceries in hand, blonde hair shining golden in the sun, sun-kissed skin exposed to your wandering eyes, grin on pink lips; you couldn't imagine JJ Maybank hurting a fly.

"Trust me, I know." You'd said just as he knocked on the door, shooting you one last toothy grin before the door was opened and he was pulled into a conversation with the woman who'd answered it, talking about all things from the weather to the next semester at school. You watched him all the while, smile growing on your lips without your knowledge as you took him in, seemingly in his element as he sweet-talked the middle-aged woman inside the house. When he turned to you suddenly, you startled, broken from your thoughts and caught red-handed staring at him like some freak. He grinned, tongue wetting his pink lips at the same time you internally groaned.

"I was just saying, the groceries," he trailed off as he pointed to the bags in your hands in which you'd forgotten were even there. You let out an 'oh' as you quickly passed the groceries over to the waiting woman, shooting her an apologetic smile as she looked at you knowingly. JJ nodded his head in your direction, speaking once more to the woman, "New guys, huh?"

You glared at him as the woman laughed, perfectly manicured hand reaching beside her and grabbing hold of her purse, pulling a note out with her slender fingers. She held the note out to JJ, who immediately tried to turn it down, insisting there was no need, but the woman was unrelenting - sending a pointed look your way as she told him, "For your troubles, sweetie."

JJ picked the note from her hands, a gracious smile being sent to her as he nodded. "It's been a long day," he sighed heavily and your jaw almost dropped as you resisted the urge to reach out and slap his arm. What a fucker. "Thank you very much, Mrs. Ramirez. I really appreciate it."

The woman, Mrs. Ramirez, as you learned, nodded and waved a hand. "No bother, sweetie," she told him before turning her eyes back to you. You forced a smile as she simply eyed you up and down, before sending an obviously forced one of her own. "And thank you." She said curtly, and you were ready to give her a piece of your mind before JJ was grabbing your arm and dragging you in the direction of where you'd come from, shouting one last thank you over his shoulder as he walked you back towards the boat.

It was when you were a safe distance away that you shook your arm from his hold only to slap him gently on his own as you glowered, glare smouldering as he laughed, throwing his head back as he stumbled beside you.

"You're such an ass," you huffed as you tried to ignore his chuckling, speeding your steps. "I mean, she literally just tipped you a hundred dollars for showing up and smiling, I'm sure if I had a third leg down there I would have got the same treatment too."

"Are you jealous?" JJ asked, having to jog slightly to keep up your hurried pace. His smile was huge and infectious, and you made a point not to meet his stare when he landed next to you in fear of breaking your fake annoyed stance. "Maybe if you weren't too busy checking me out then you could have talked to her, and y'know, make a small fortune yourself."

You scoffed, whirling around and halting him in place. He almost stumbled into you, and you stepped back when his hands landed on your arms to steady himself, shaking his grip off almost immediately. "I wasn't checking you out," you told him, matter of fact.

JJ grinned and ran a hand through his hair as he replied, "Sure you were," he shrugged. You crossed your arms over your chest and glared, biting down on your tongue as you resisted your own smile as he motioned to his body from head to toe. "Not that I can blame you, I mean look at me."

"I've looked, JJ," your voice was low when you said it, a knowing tone to your words. "I've looked, and I've seen it all, in case you forgot."

A low chuckle slipped past his lips. "How could I ever forget?" He asked rhetorically, tongue darting out to wet his chapped lips as you tried not to follow the action with your eyes, and failed, miserably. "Trust me, that image is forever dented in my brain. I think of it, sometimes. Just randomly."

You rolled your eyes. And he's back, _you thought. _He never left, a voice at the back of your head piped up. You ignored them both. "C'mon," you said, already turning on your heel and starting off in the direction of where Pope had docked the boat. "Let's go get these deliveries finished."

The pair of you said nothing more for the rest of the duration of the short walk back, and when the boat was in your sights JJ was off running, more than likely eager to show off his one hundred dollar tip to Pope, as you idled, watching his back as he ran. When you finally landed in the boat, it was silent. You immediately picked up on the tension, heavy in the small space, and shot JJ a confused glance when he looked back at you.

Slowly, you made your way towards where the two boys were up at the front of the boat, Pope situated at the wheel. The dark skinned boy was staring straight ahead, refusing to meet either yours or JJ's eyes. When you looked to the latter, he subtly shrugged a shoulder, letting you know that he had no clue himself what was going on with his best friend.

"Pope?" You questioned softly. "What's wrong?" When there was no answer, you shared another glance with JJ, his concern shining in his blue eyes. You tilted your head as you went to ask him again, but when you did, your eyes caught on to the colour crimson that was slowly streaming down the side of his face. You gasped and JJ startled, chest bumping your shoulder as he tugged the cap from Pope's head, revealing the injury near the top of his head.

"Jesus!" JJ exclaimed when he caught sight of the wound, Pope swatting at his hands that held his hat, pulling it back down once JJ had let go. "What happened?"

"Rafe and Topper jumped me," Pope's voice was slightly wobbly as he informed you both, a tear sliding down his cheek as he recounted, "They said no Pogues on their side of the island."

Your blood began to boil just as JJ demanded, "What are you gonna do?" His own jaw clenched in anger as he looked at his best friend, beaten and bruised in front of him from the hands of some entitled selfish pricks that thought they were better than everyone because they had more money in their pockets. Rafe Cameron was a name that never failed to make you queasy at just the mention of it, and his little gang of followers including Topper Thorton were just as unbearable.

"I have something in mind." Pope spoke, voice and stance determined. And something he did, as he drove to Topper's new boat - and promptly swam over and removed the plug from it, causing the new model to sink into the water as you and JJ watched from Heyward's boat, keeping an eye out for anyone that may have spotted your trio.

And though it was bad, and you knew you probably shouldn't have taken part in such an activity, nor prompted Pope to either; you couldn't deny the rush it gave you as you watched Topper Thorton's boat begin to sink, and maybe it was the fact that you knew that Topper was a Grade A Asshole and deserved it, or maybe it was Pope's own unsure but excitable adrenaline that mixed with your own, or maybe it was just the fact that JJ wrapped his arm around your shoulder without a care in the world as he shouted his support to his friend, squeezing you to his side almost unknowingly, like it was some kind of instinct.

You thought, yeah, it probably was, as you immediately felt the loss of it when he moved to grab Pope in a hug. And then you thought, well shit.

There was a mutual share of disappointment when the gang had found just about absolutely nothing when you'd taken Pope's fathers boat out the next morning, drone ready and in hand to go hunt for the gold, where John B Routledge had marked down on the map it having been.

Granted, the Royal Merchant was there. It was just missing the one thing they were after - the gold was nowhere in sight, and the journey had been a complete waste of time. You thought it to be too good to be true, of course it had to be. Four hundred million in gold and you were expected to find it? There was no way, you thought bitterly as JJ steered the gang back to land, not one of you daring to speak as the disappointment crashed over you all in huge waves.

You'd departed with the guys not long after that, after promising Kie that you would accompany her to the annual summer movie night, making your way towards home. The bitter frustration ate away at your insides, you were mad, angry - fucking infuriated, each step the gang got closer to finding the gold, it was as if someone was stood in your path and shoving you all back another ten.

Had your dad really died for this? This seemingly never-ending hunt for promised gold that, for all you knew, could be complete and utter bullshit. You didn't understand it at first, when the pieces began to slot together, but it was like every time the chase got harder it made you want it even more; and then you understood your fathers fascination and Big John Routledge's obsession. This gold meant everything to you and the gang, and you knew, John B especially, would never give up on this chase.

"Hey, sweetheart," your mother called when you entered the house. The front door was still broken, only the screen in place, and was leaning against the wall as you maneuvered past it. Lana was sat at the couch, and when you walked in she'd shoved a box away from her, the lid laying haphazardly over the top. "I wasn't expecting you home so early."

You shot her a small and forced smile, shuffling your bag from your shoulder and onto the floor, landing with a soft thud. "Hey mom," you greeted back, noting her teary eyes and flushed cheeks. "What're you doing?"

When you arrived at the back of the couch, looking over her shoulder, you immediately recognised the box - Family Photos! _written atop _the cardboard.

"I was just looking through some old pictures," she told you, sniffling as she attempted to smile at you. "Just wanted to see his face again."

You nodded, your throat tightening at the mention of your dad. Reaching a hand up and wiping away her tears, she looked at you questioning, "Where have you been?"

"Just out," you said, bluntly and unconvincing. "Doing a few jobs here and there, y'know. Nothing exciting."

Lana hummed, quirking an eyebrow at you. "Mr. Phelps told me that he seen you with that Maybank kid the other day," she informed, your face falling for a millisecond as her words sunk in. She looked at you, tear-stained face and serious gaze, lips pulled to a thin line. "I told you to stay from those guys, Y/N."

"I was helping him deliver groceries, mom," you deadpanned - which wasn't exactly a lie, if that's when Mr. Phelps had spotted you. Most of your time spent with the gang was mainly off the land and away from prying eyes, whether that be on a boat or the Chateau, so you knew that was the safest bet of when you'd been spotted. "For Heyward's. It's not like I'm hanging out with him on purpose."

Lie, lie, lie. It was becoming alarmingly easy to lie straight through your teeth, and to your mother nonetheless, but you couldn't dare tell her anything, and why should you, when she hadn't told you anything? It took two to Tango, you thought.

"I just don't want you getting hurt," your mother reminded, and you let out a sigh as you nodded, faked closed-mouth smile on your lips. "I'm serious, Y/N, please just be careful out there."

"Always am," you promised (bull-fucking-shit). You turned on your heel, heading towards your room as you called over your shoulder, "I got invited out tonight, by the way. To the movie thing on the North Side. Is it alright if I go, please?"

You waited at your door, hearing your mother sigh from the couch. "Yes, you can go." You smiled, this one more real than all the rest, and thanked her gently. She didn't look back at you though, and the familiar unspoken tension was back with vengeance. You couldn't wait to get out of it.

The movie night was a welcome distraction from your frustrations with the treasure hunt, the haunting memories of your dad, and the tension with your mom. It was only you, Kie, Pope and JJ that attended - John B having seemingly disappeared for the day, none of the gang having heard from him. You'd managed to leave the house with relatively no questioning from your mom, and met JJ a little way down the block.

("Woah, keep two feet away from me please," you'd joked, halting in your tracks as you spotted him standing there. He'd furrowed his brows at you, frown etched on his face. "My cover's been blown, everyone knows about us!

He just looked even more confused, eyes squinting down at you as you raised a hand and layed it across your forehead dramatically. "What'd you mean?" He questioned, eyes darting around, seemingly searching for answers in the air around you both. "What, do people know we sleep together or something?"

You'd rolled your eyes, shoving him gently when you were close enough, beginning to walk away. "No, you doof," you chuckled. "Mr. Phelps ratted me out to my mom, told her that he saw us together the other day. I had to tell her that we were just delivering groceries for Pope's dad."

"Ah," JJ nodded, shooting you a mischievous grin. "We better go into hiding then, I'm thinking... log cabin in the mountains, all fur sheets and deer heads on the walls, ooh a hot tub too."

You laughed, "Trying to whisk me away there, Maybank?"

You were joking, but his eyes were surprisingly serious as he looked at you. "Always, Grubbs.")

The field was already packed full of people by the time the four of you arrived, groups of people scattered around, idle chatter filling the air. It was being held on the Kook side of the island, and your eyes swooped over the people, most of them being Kook's themselves, expensive clothing and an aura that just screamed, I'm better than you. It made you feel uneasy, but you tried not to think about it as Kiara led you through the crowds.

"I'm so glad they're still doing this," she tells you all, sighing happily. The faces of the guys revealed they were not nearly as happy to be there as she was, while you were simply just glad to be out of your house once again. "Keep calm, carry on. Back to normal, OBX life, y'know?" She stopped once she found a decent spot, turning to the three of you. "Aren't you guys glad I made you come?"

"Ecstatic." Pope deadpanned, sarcastic lull to his tone.

"My couch was pretty comfy." JJ piped up.

"I'm just happy to be out the house, I guess." You said.

You were aware why the guys were so uncertain about being there; it wasn't so long ago that Pope was sinking Topper Thorton's boat, you and JJ accompanying, and now you were all on his side of the island. Not only that, but you knew that if Topper was to discover that it was Pope who'd done his boat in, it wouldn't just be Topper that confronted him - it would be the full Happy Days Gang. Nothing was ever a fair game when it came to Kooks.

Kiara excused herself to go buy soda's from the conession stand, and you shifted as you seated yourself on the blanket you'd bought, having opted out of bringing a chair. You sat in front of JJ, his legs touching your back.

"What's wrong with you guys?" You turned your head when Pope and JJ began to whisper, the former's panicked eyes landing on you as you frowned at the pair.

"Topper and Rafe are on my ass," Pope revealed. "They know I sunk Topper's boat."

You sighed heavily, muttering a shit as JJ grabbed his friend by the arm, focusing his attention towards him. "They can't prove it, okay. Just deny, deny, deny."

Pope nodded along, muttering along with him as you watched the pair, before your eyes moved to Kie that arrived back, her eyes narrowing as she seated herself beside Pope. "Just saw Rafe," she informed, your blood running cold. You could practically feel JJ tense from behind you. "He said, and I quote, 'Tell your boy we know what he did'. What is that?"

"Um, where is he?" JJ questioned, his tone of voice revealing his hidden anxiety.

"Right there." Kiara nodded her head, right in the direction of where Rafe Cameron and his goons sat, as you, Pope and JJ whipped around, Pope practically turning his full body in their direction. You groaned as JJ desperately urged him to turn back round, and away from their taunting eyes.

"The whole death squad!" Pope exclaimed, anxiety riding off of him in waves.

"Don't stare, bro," JJ urged, hand wrapping around Pope's shoulders. You tuned out the rest of the blonde's words as he informed you all that he'd be coming out swinging if they were to corner him, and you felt dread build as you heard his last words. "If that doesn't work, I got this right here." He patted his bag.

"JJ, please tell me you did not bring a gun here," Kie practically begged. "JJ, there are kids!"

You focused your attention straight ahead of you as the guys continued to argue; Pope simply telling Kie that it might go down to her line of questioning, her brown eyes darting back and forth between you all. You refused to meet her eyes, however, and were glad when the large screen ahead of you suddenly lit up. "Oh, look," you exclaimed, laughing nervously. "The movie's starting."

And it was left at that - JJ whispering deny, deny, deny to Pope once more before you all turned your attention to the screen, trying to block out the intruding thoughts of having the knowledge that the gang of Kooks were staring you down, awaiting your next move like a predator would its pray.

All was going fine - the movie was good, everyone's attention on the black and white screen. You tried not to think about Rafe and Topper, or the gold or your dad, and definitely not the feel of JJ's legs either side of you, trapping you into his hold. You let yourself believe that everything would be okay, and then Pope had revealed he needed a piss, and everything had gone to shit.

JJ had accompanied him, and the two had set off behind the screen, hidden away from Rafe's watchful eyes. They hadn't done a good enough job to be discreet though, and you immediately took notice of Rafe, Topper and Kelce making their way towards the opposite side of the screen. You swore, catching Kie's attention as she questioned, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Looks like that piss break just got a lot more complicated," you said, and realisation dawned on her face. It didn't take the pair of you long to locate the guys, all in various forms of fighting, as you and Kie screamed at them to stop. You grabbed Rafe's arm mid-swing, his fist raised and ready to send a hit to JJ's face from where Kelce had hold of him. "Stop it, you dick!"

You let out a scream as you were sent flying back from his shove, Rafe's blue eyes wild and crazed as he glared down at you. "Stay out of this, Grubbs!" He barked, and without a moments hesitation sent a fist hurling towards JJ's cheek.

Kiara had jumped on Topper's back from the small distance away from you, and you took a moment to ready yourself before hurtling towards Rafe from your crouched position, tackling him to the ground from his knees, effectively stopping his blows. He seemed stunned for a second, staring dazed up at you before he promptly threw you off of him, shoving you to the ground without a care. "Don't fucking touch me," he growled down at you, and you groaned slightly as the wind was knocked from you.

You heard JJ from somewhere above you, shouting insults at Rafe and repeating your name over and over. You lifted yourself from the ground just as Topper puts Pope in a headlock, his tight grip causing the dark skinned boys breath to leave him in choked gasps. You shoved at Rafe's back once more, sending him stumbling forward before he whipped around, hand reaching out and grabbing you by the face, tugging you so you stood nose-to-nose with him.

"I said," he ground out darkly, eyes boring into yours. "Don't fucking touch me."

You were beginning to fear what would come next before a sudden glow caught your eye from the side, the movie screen lighting up in harsh flames. Rafe dropped you, your hands moving to rub over the imprint he'd left, as you looked towards where Kie stood, JJ lighter in hand. Screams of terror echoed from the other side, as people began to flee, and it didn't take long for the three Kooks on your side to follow, sprinting quickly from the scene. Fucking cowards, you thought.

JJ's hands were on you before you could even blink, eyes earnest and worried as they looked over you, your cheeks red from the earlier grip Rafe had on you. "You good?" He asked you, slightly out of breath. You nodded, repeating the question to him. He smiled lightly. "Yeah, yeah. I'm good."

The night had ended promptly there, Kie dropping you off at your respected houses. You'd bid them all a good night, and as quietly as possible made your way into your home, not wanting your mother to see the marks imprinted on your face from Rafe's fingers. Luckily, she'd already been in bed, and it didn't take long for you to crawl into yours, thoughts of the day and a certain blonde running through your mind.

The next morning you'd met the gang (save for John B, who was still seemingly missing) at the Heyward's store; your morning had been spent desperately trying to hide the red marks that Rafe's fingers had left from your mom before she could notice and ground you in your room for the rest of your life. It had a been a success for the most part, and she asked no questions as you left the house, though you took note of her uncertain expression as you bid your goodbyes.

"Have you heard from John B?" You asked Kiara who was working closest to you. You had realised the brunette boy was missing from the group upon your arrival, and you couldn't help the worries in your mind at where he could be or what could have happened to him.

"No, nothing. Have you?" She returned the question, brown eyes meeting yours as you shook your head no, a short sigh falling from her lips. "Neither have the guys. What're you thinking?" Kiara eyed you, gaze suddenly sullen. "Do you think something's happened?"

"I don't know, Kie," you told her because honestly, you didn't. John B had a target on his back, that much was for sure. Son of Big John, once owner of the proclaimed death compass. Your mind thought back to the two men that had raised your home, and chased the guys on more than one occasion, and you couldn't help but think the worst. "I'm sure he's fine, though."

Kiara nodded, though she looked anything but sure. "Yeah, you're probably right." The pair of you continued on with your respected work, JJ's and Pope's voice trailing from somewhere in the store as they talked. "You're working Midsummers, right?"

You groaned, nodding. Kiara laughed at your sour expression. "Oh yeah, second year running. To be honest, I'm surprised they let me work it after last year, my customer service must be better than my right hand hook," you joked, chuckle escaping your lips as you thought back to the Midsummer's party the year before. Your dad had gotten you the gig, because he was a weasel like that - always talking people into getting what he wanted, and what he wanted was the gas bill to be paid, and his face just didn't fit the portfolio to be serving Kook's their drinks at their fancy party, and so it had left left to you to do just that.

The night had ended with Dean Kipp on his ass after his hand had fallen on your ass, and you'd been let off with a warning as the guy clutched his bloody nose and called you everything ranging from psycho bitch to slutty pogue. Your surprise was immense when you were offered a job again this year, and a large amount of the reason you'd said yes was just so you could see the look on his face when he saw you.

"He totally deserved that," Kiara remarked, grinning. You smiled back, the pair of you sharing a laugh as you returned to your work.

For a second, you let your worries wash away as you were pulled into a conversation with the gang, your spirts high for the first time in a while. You were happy, you realised. What had started off as being the worst period of your life was slowly turning into the best, the gang and treasure hunt a blessing in disguise. The four of you shared laughs and joked back and forth as you worked, and you found yourself to be perfectly content.

All that came crashing down when Pope's father entered the shop, police officer trailing behind him. "Hey, Pope! There's someone here to see you."

You stopped dead-on, the rest of the gang halting in their movements as you all stared towards the officer you recognised as Shoupe. "Evening, officer." Pope greeted, gulping.

"I have an arrear warrant for felony destruction of property," Deputy Shoupe approached your group, handing the said warrant to Pope's dad. From beside you, JJ tensed, and when you turned to look at him, his blue eyes glanced down at you, freshly beaten face pulled into an anxious grimace as his jaw clenched. Shoupe had gotten remarkably closer, hands reaching for the handcuffs placed on his belt. "Hands where I can see 'em."

Pope glanced desperately towards JJ, who shook his head quickly, his words, though unspoken, clear as day. Deny, deny, deny. But denying wasn't going to get Pope out of handcuffs, you decided as you stepped forward, tone pleading as you demanded, "Stop, you can't just do this!"

"Out of my way please, Miss Grubbs," Shoupe dismissed you, sounding almost bored as he shoved past you, beginning to handcuff Pope who can do nothing but allow it to happen, his anxious eyes focusing on one spot as reality began to sink in.

"What did he do, Shoupe?" Mr. Heyward questioned in disbelief, watching as his son was getting arrested in front of his very eyes.

"Take a look at the warrant," the cop said simply as he begun to tug Pope out of the store.

It was chaos. Everyone was shouting, demanding answers and hurling insults. JJ is screaming something about somebody paying him, Kiara is in your ear asking what the hell was going on, Mr. Heyward is hurtling questions towards both his son and Shoupe. Passbyers stared at the scene, whispering to each other as they walked by or stopped to watch. Everything blurred together, and you could do nothing but watch the scene unfold in front of you.

Those fucking assholes, you thought. Topper Thorton came to mind, tan skin and bleached ends, million dollar smile and designer clothes. You remembered his wild gaze as he held Pope in a headlock the night before, close to almost killing him. And yet he was off somewhere doing god knows what, probably shopping for a new boat to replace the one he'd lost, not that he probably cared all that much about it in the first place. Rafe Cameron's eyes entered your mind next, and you felt a shudder run through you as you remembered them boring into yours as he held your face frighteningly tight and close to his own.

JJ's voice was suddenly breaking through your stream of thoughts - "It wasn't him!" He was calling out, eyes directed on Shoupe who paused and turned toward him, Pope's face disbelieving from behind him. "It was me."

It sunk in then what JJ was trying to do, and you whirled around from his left, quickly shaking your head as you muttered, "JJ." He ignored you however, and stepped forward towards where the officer was standing, Pope still in his arms.

"He tried to talk me out of it," JJ continued. "But I was mad because he had just been beaten up, I was sick of those assholes from Figure Eight that I lost my shit." He was stood directly in front of Shoupe, almost boot-to-boot. You couldn't see his face from where you were, and you were almost thankful for the fact as you heard him direct his words to Pope, "I can't let you take the fall for what I did. You've got too much to lose."

"JJ, what are you doing?" Pope demanded. His face was confused, just as much in shock as the rest of you. For a second, his eyes leave JJ's and land on yours, a shaky breath leaving your lips as his eyes were practically pleading.

"I'm telling the truth, for once in my goddamn life, I'm gonna tell the truth," JJ announced loudly. "I took his old man's boat, too."

"What the hell?" Mr. Heyward questioned, though nobody paid him any mind. Your gaze was too focused on the unfolding scene of JJ Maybank taking the fall for something he most definitely do, and you could do nothing but watch it happen.

Your heart finally shattered when JJ's last words entered your ears, "He's a good kid. You know where I'm from."

He only looked back once as he was put into the handcuffs that previously held Pope, and that wasn't until he was shoved in the back of the police car and the door was slammed behind him. You walked closer towards it, hand on Pope's back as he watched his best friend get arrested for something he'd done, and you both knew it. When JJ glanced up and out of the window, bruised face clear behind the glass, his sea blue eyes caught yours and then he smiled.

The fucker.

You could only watch helplessly as the police car was driven away and out of sight, Pope throwing his cap down in a fit of anger as he stormed off, his dad calling after him, Kie landing to your right. The dark haired girl wrapped an arm around your shoulders, tugging you to her side gently.

"JJ'll be alright," she told you, voice confident though her face read anything but as she glanced in the direction the car had been driven off. "He always is."

But what, a voice in the back in your head nagged at you, if this time he wasn't?

And then it dawned on you: you actually really, generally, sincerely and whole-heartedly cared about JJ Maybank.

(And the thought scared you more than you would ever like to admit.)

& to the lovely people that asked to be tagged in this, love you all x @ponyboys-sunsets @mysticsthinking @danicarosaline

[valeriemperez]

I really think they should just do more standalone episodes in general. Enter Flashtime was basically a standalone, look how good that was. Same for the musical. Superhero shows have the opportunity to do really cool concept episodes- Buffy was great at mixing good individual eps throughout an entire season, even with a season long villain. if you can do that and keep the character/relationship stuff ongoing, people will like it. you don't have to mention the longterm villain every episode

“Enter Flashtime” was the best kind of filler and more episodes should be like it. I agree with you that one-off episodes can often be some of a show’s best work, it’s just that The Flash needs to focus more on its main characters for them.

I see what anons are saying that shorter seasons don’t necessarily mean no fillers so I guess than the problem is just the writing, I still honestly think 18 episodes would be better however if they are willing to do mini arcs with 23 bc the formula of having a season long villain just doesn’t work.

Yeah, it’s not how much they’re writing, it’s what they’re choosing to write.

You know I see ppl complaining about the hiatuses, but they’re a necessary evil. These shows need time to produce enough episodes before they start airing (takes 9-10 months to shoot 22), & the hiatuses give them a head start. Tho I personally would’ve preferred if TF’s mid season was pushed back to March so that they could air the back 13 eps without a break. Also, I agree that an 18 ep season would be the sweet spot for a show like TF.

I agree about a longer winter hiatus - just split it into A and B seasons like Freeform does.

#her answers gave me a lot to think about #mostly regarding things that are none of my business #but i love how passionate she is about this project — the first thing I thought of was her and DP’s relationship. Do you think she could’ve been referring to that at least partially??

You hit the nail on the head in terms of where my mind went. I think an unfollow is a pretty big deal in this context, and Candice wouldn’t have done it if she didn’t feel really hurt or disrespected.

“her answers gave me a lot to think about” mmhm. i have a feeling she’s tried but… the other one was not interested

Hey! I saw your tags on that giftset from CP’s interviews and I wonder if we are on a similar wavelength. Hearing her talk about women being pitted against each other & how she & CL are allies…I couldn’t help but think about DP. I’ve never gotten that vibe from their relationship & it makes me sad to think that with all the crap CP faces from the fandom, she’s also (maybe) had to deal with a lack of support from her co-star. I don’t want to jump to conclusions but I just have a gut feeling

Yeah. 🙁 There was a time I was hoping they could come back from the tensions that creeped up in S1, and for awhile this season I thought they were. But clearly the last two months have shown that wasn’t the case at all, and it’s too bad. Fingers crossed either Danielle N, Jessica P.K., or Jessica C. are made regulars next season so Candice has a female costar she can find mutual support with.

[not-poignant]

"i also know readers who stop commenting if they don't get replies" i do that (though i'm not very proud of it bc it lowkey sounds like blackmail "if u dont reply i wont comment"). writing a comment even if it's only a few paragraphs long can take me 1-2 hours (or more) so if i know i'm not even going to get a simple "thanks" from the author, it feels like i struggled writing the comment for nothing. either i stop commenting or i only leave really short comments like "i like it" from then onward

Yeah, same same, pretty much.

I think about this a lot. Because a lot of the rhetoric is ‘well the author put in the effort to write, so you should be able to comment’ (which I hate, it’s a false equivocation, and is bullshit). And then there’s also the rhetoric of ‘if you think it’s hard to comment, you should try being a writer’ (which I hate, because that’s just manipulative dreck).

It’s one thing to encourage comment culture, that’s great. Fandom is meant to be - for some - an interactive experience after all. And that’s why I think that authors/writers who comment in response to commenters, consistently get more comments. Because you have the bulk of readers who just want to read, they are not necessarily there for the full fannish experience y’know? I guarantee that most of us just often want to switch off, read, masturbate/fall asleep/cry/feel fluffy (whatever your kinks are) and that’s that. Right?

BUT then there’s those of us who enjoy the fannish experience too. Like, some enjoy it via lurking. Reading the comments and replies. Coming to Tumblr to watch. Some like participating. The people who like to participate, they want - amazingly - participation. And if you have a conversation that goes like this:

Person A: ‘Hi I did this thing!’ Person B: ‘I LOVE THIS THING. Here’s why! Omg!’ Person A: *silence* *never responds*

Like...that is not a very participatory experience. So for the people who do take the effort to participate in the author-reader experience via comments specifically, I do believe - at least for myself - participating in that is important.

I look to see if authors comment on reader responses, before I respond. If they don’t, or if they have a low hit rate (i.e. they responded to one thing, and nothing else), 99.99999999% of the time I don’t comment. Those of you who comment on fics you know you won’t get a response for, you are doing god’s work and I hope you are being surrounded by cute animals you aren’t allergic to and comfort foods that never cause you adverse reactions.

That’s not all of us. I daresay that isn’t even most of us who do participate in AO3 comment culture. And there is a comment culture, and it’s more than just authors occasionally engaging in guilt-tripping to get readers to comment. The author has a role in it too, if they want it, and it will encourage more comments, if they take that path.

If I see that the author responds, I’m more likely to write a comment. Like you, I find commenting hard. I think it’s worthwhile, but only in a participatory sense. I.e. I don’t really see the point in screaming praise into the void. Comments for me often take a long time to write (Tumblr replies don’t count, I can dash them off quickly, but actual AO3 replies usually involve this process: ‘read fic on my phone -> get up from bed / whole body pain -> walk to desktop computer and pull up AO3 link -> spend 1-2 hours composing comment -> possibly too fatigued to do anything for the next few hours.’

Tbh, even if people didn’t have a high energy cost for writing comments, I still think it’s valid to want it to be participatory, when it’s a participatory format. Comments on AO3 offer the opportunity to be threaded and so on for a reason, after all.

It’s a hard subject to talk about, because authors will often throw ‘but I put the hard work in to write it in the first place!!!!1!!!’ - but one thing they tend to forget is no one is obligated to engage in any created work just because it was created. No one is obligated to like it once they do. No one is obligated to respond once they have liked it. And no one is obligated to respond in the same way if they like it. Some people subscribe, some people bookmark, some people kudos, some people comment, some people comment if they know they’re going to get a reply, some people send asks, some people look for the next fic because they’re just there to read.

I think also, it’s a little bit compliment culture. It’s just a fact of life that if you praise someone endlessly and they constantly say nothing or even knock you back instead of saying ‘thank you’ - eventually, the compliments stop. Because you’re being treated as though your praise is worthless. Praise is something that makes (some of) us vulnerable to give, just as it can make us vulnerable to receive it. I honestly think, for me, responding to comments and praise in particular, is entering into a pact of cooperation and participation.

I don’t always respond to everything, though I really want to, but yeah, anyway, that’s why my personal policy as a writer is ‘always respond to comments’ (even if people hate it, my general perspective is that most don’t, my comment counts quite outside of my own responses have always been higher than average), and my personal policy as a reader is ‘if I love this, I will think about commenting, but the likelihood drops precipitously if I see they have a pattern of non-response.’ On the other side of that, if I get responses from an author, I am WAY more likely to comment in the future. My joyful participation will get a joyful response, and I will know my words aren’t worthless, in the same way the author will know their words aren’t worthless.

And that’s why I do things the way I do, and why I relate to you as a reader, anon. I know we’re not alone, even though people rarely talk about this stuff.

(I also know that some authors find the writing much easier than writing responses to comments, because of time / emotional labour etc. I just also think when you factor in how many fics readers are often reading, there’s a time / emotional labour issue there too. (I mean let’s remember folks, fanfiction is meant to be fun for everyone). People just need to do what works for them. And authors who don’t respond to comments and find they get less comments over time need to understand that more might be going on than just ‘no one comments people hate my writing.’ I have seen authors do the whole ‘comment culture is shitty no one comments on my stuff’ only to see that they *hardly ever respond to comments* - Like, you do you, but you have to own that, and own that there are reasonable responses from readers to that, too. Tl;dr Authors: You might start a conversation by offering a fic, but if you shut down conversation after that, don’t be surprised if people stop ‘talking’ to you).