#azzy look it's your husband

[moonstone-chaos]

HAPPY AUTUMN

his head got filled with candy :3

[thelov3lybookworm]

Lose your temper

Summary: Only loses his temper for her.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 805

Warnings: azzie being a protective pookie 🥹

A/n: hello hello i come bearing gifts after the tiny hiatus. might get my laptop back soon so dont you worry ill be back soon. ive mostly been focused on writing my wattpad books but though you all deserved a lil treat too so here i am 😌

also ps (edited) this was inspired by someones reddit post about having the sweetest father who threatened to hand a man by his intestines if they did not leave his wife alone and i think thats precious 🥺

HAVE FUN YALL

ENJOYYYY🥳

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Being the daughter of the spymaster, it almost made Hazel seem like some sort of elite fae that some feared while others pitied. The people that feared her, Hazel could understand the place they were coming from. But it was the other group that befuddled Hazel.

Why would they pity her? Did they think her father was an abuser of some kind?

Of course, he towered over a lot of people, and his physique made him known as a ruthless warrior. And yeah, maybe he also did have the most spectacular reputation to go with it, but it did not warrant people thinking he bullied Hazel too.

Or maybe it did, but Hazel could not bring herself to understand that part.

Azriel had always been the most gentle, calm and loving parent anyone could ever ask for. He was the furthest thing from mean. Hazel had never seen him get angry or raise his voice.

And it made Hazel wonder. What would be the situation in which Azriel raised his voice?

Hazel knew the one person Azriel loved the most was Y/n. He could act all he wanted when he wanted to irk Y/n that Hazel came first for him, but Hazel knew that if it came to it, he would sacrifice the whole world, her and then himself to please his wife.

And so when she asked her father, his answer came as no surprise.

"Dad, will I ever see you lose your temper?"

He laughed, his eyes not leaving the vegetables he stirred in the pan for lunch. "Maybe if someone bullies your mother, you just might."

Hazel smiled, nodding. She turned to look outside the window that faced their porch, looking at all the people that passed. Their house was in one of the quietest areas of Velaris, and so only sparse groups of people lingered around, mostly kids and housewives.

As she continued pondering his answer, her eyes fell on her mother returning from the market nearby. Hazel grinned, beginning to turn to her father to tease him about it, but then she looked closer at Y/n.

She looked disturbed, brows furrowed and lips pursed.

"Dad?"

Azriel hummed, glancing at Hazel.

"Does mom look worried to you?"

Hazel heard him draw closer, peering over her shoulder. "Mom?"

"Yeah, look."

Hazel glanced at Azriel, watching as his brows drew together and his jaw hardened.

"A male’s following her."

Hazel blinked, then turned to look. Sure enough, she saw a man come into view, jeering at Y/n’s back. Y/n was almost to the gate that opened into their lawn, and she kept glancing back at the man.

"He’s dead if he doesn’t leave."

Hazel would have smiled, but the seriousness in her father’s voice told her he wasn’t jesting.

The two watched as Y/n tried to shut the gate behind her, but the man’s foot wedged inside as he smirked triumphantly at Y/n.

And the presence of Azriel was gone from behind Hazel.

The door opened, and Hazel turned in time to see Azriel practically fly out the door, Truthteller clutched in his hand.

Oh, someone’s dying today.

"Back off!" Hazel hurried over to the door to peer out at the scene, eyes wide as her father called out.

The man’s face crumpled in fear, and he took a step back from Y/n, who turned to look at her husband. If Hazel had to be honest, it was quite funny watching one of the most feared males in all of prythian stand in front of his house with a red shirt and a stained apron on, threatening a male in broad daylight without a care.

"I swear to the mother if I see you ever again, you are going to be buried before you can even blink." Azriel growled, brandishing his dagger.

"For-forgive me, sir. I did not know she was yours-"

"And that should not matter. Don’t let me catch you harassing another female again, or-"

But that man was gone.

Azriel turned to Y/n, smiling. "Are you alright?"

Y/n grinned at him. "I am."

Azriel effortlessly grabbed the bags from his wife’s hands and shifted them to one of his, then wrapped the other one around her waist.

"Did he do something?"

Y/n shook her head, laughing. "You almost killed him before he could."

Azriel grinned, smug. "Glad to hear that."

He led his wife inside the house, casting a searching look outside before closing the door. Y/n shot Hazel an exasperated smile behind his back, making her giggle.

Hazel had always wished to have a love like her parents, but each day, she wondered if she would rather stay by herself.

Because there was no way there was someone out there who loved as Azriel loved Y/n.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Permanent Taglist: @berryzxx @sarawritestories @milswrites @throneofsmut

@daycourtofficial @sweetorangeblossom @secret-third-thing

@serenescureforboredom @cassie6392 @harrystylesfan2686

Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686

@cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1

@hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21

@mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @lady-of-tearshed @starsinyourseyes

@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady

@lilah-asteria @girlswithimagination @garden-of-runar @girlswithimagination

@sunnyspycat @artists-ally @milswrites @kingdomofstarrynights

@berryzxx @buttermilktea11 @loving-and-dreaming @yucanbmylxdy

@mellowmusings

Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings @azrielsmate3 @celestialend

@stqrgirlies-blog @tele86 @bakananya @xyzmeh

@st4r-girl-official @caraaaaugh @nacho-nat @allllium

@fandomarchiveilyd @nickishadow139 @angel-graces-world-of-chaos

@okaytrashpanda

[jaellyfishh]

RIDE YOUR HIGH

paige x azzi

content: fluff, mostly smut

word count: 2.9K

notes: i started writing this on a whim. i haven’t written anything since 2014 or something, but currently wcbb is my hyperfixation and i love these two girls with all my heart! (this may probably have grammatical errors)

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

“Take care of the house, alright girls?”, Katie Fudd shouted by the main door of the house, before stepping outside hand in hand with her husband and closing it shut behind them.

“We will!”, Paige and Azzi harmoniously responded while putting away the last couple of Tupperware containers into their respective places beneath the kitchen counter and in the fridge, after the pair had their dinner.

Their summer had only just began two days ago and Paige and Azzi had planned to spend a short two weeks in Azzi’s hometown before indulging in their comprehensive itinerary together for the rest of the summer, which included a cruise trip. Azzi’s parents also had plans of their own, booking a hotel resort for four days after a year of non-stop working. At the same time, Jose and Jon had planned short summer trips with their respective friends in neighbouring towns. In an empty house, except for the pair, it was for certain everybody was itching for their much-needed time to unwind.

Paige noticed Azzi putting the last plastic container into the base cabinet and slowly made her way towards her back. The six-foot blonde gently snaked her hands around the younger girl’s waist, startling Azzi intially, before realising what was happening and relaxing into her girlfriend’s chest. Paige rested her chin on Azzi’s left shoulder, leaving slow, meaningful kisses on her neck and proceeding to hold her a fraction tighter. The both of them hummed simultaneously as Azzi turned her head slightly so that Paige was in her view.

“Hey, big head,” Azzi joked, a grin etched on her face. Paige halted her peppered pecks on the younger girl’s neck.

“Way to ruin the mood. And, for your information, we concluded the big head was you,” Paige scoffed, her eyebrows raised playfully as they both retracted their heads from each other, now fully in each other’s sight.

“Alright, alright. Agree to disagree,” Azzi rolled her eyes, the grin still on her face as she dismissed Paige’s protest.

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Paige said incredulously before quickly squeezing Azzi’s ribs with an intention to torment the girl with tickles.

“Hey!” Azzi erupted into a fit of giggles, followed by Paige, as they now face each other and fight against their attacks in the quiet kitchen, arms displaying a semblance of two cats fighting. Before it could escalate into an endless battle of who dominates who, Paige tightly gripped Azzi’s wrists. When their movements stopped altogether, the faint sounds of their pants echoed around the empty house. The older girl looked deeply into Azzi’s eyes, scanning her girlfriend’s face and internally ogling at how every feature sat perfectly. Azzi was art to Paige. The taller girl took a small step closer, switched her hands back onto Azzi’s waist like it was home and closed their distance. Paige bent down by a little just so her lips were by Azzi’s ear.

“You know, I think we should spend this energy doing something else,” Paige whispered suggestively before planting small kisses on Azzi’s earlobe, knibbling on it, before running them down to perfectly reach the sweet spot that Paige knew all too well, like second nature; the simple curvature between Azzi’s neck and shoulder. Paige cemented her lips in the familiar area, which elicited a soft moan that escaped through Azzi’s breath. Paige, ever-the-more hungry, held her girlfriend tighter and continued sucking on the spot with intention, making sure a mark was made.

“P, let’s go to my room,” Azzi breathed out with much effort as she could not contain the warmth growing below her. Paige retracted her head back so she could look into Azzi’s eyes, both seeing an alarming degree of thirst and lust swirling in each other’s pupils. Paige took Azzi’s hand and intertwined them as they headed out of the kitchen, walking up the stairs towards the shorter girl’s room.

As Paige opened the door, making their way into Azzi’s room, a wave of nostalgia and longing was felt unconsciously. The childhood bedroom - the room where it all started. Where they pined for each other during their first heartfelt conversation as best friends, where they confessed to each other after Azzi first admitted her feelings for Paige over the summer of lockdown, where they had their first kiss, and where they had sex for the first time as a junior/sophomore at UConn. Every part of their romantic journey started in this room and it only made their heart grow fonder as they continued to kiss longingly.

Paige held Azzi delicately, as if cautious not to drop a glass item, while Azzi’s arms were wrapped around Paige’s neck, deepening their kiss. With one hand, the taller girl closed the door behind them. They moved together towards Azzi’s desk, the main board, usually filled with books, pencils and a laptop that were now tucked away, left only with picture frames of the pair’s shared memories together. Their lips never left one another as they grew hungry for each other, both soliciting whimpers and moans. Paige lifted Azzi and was propped comfortably on her desk. Their lips detached for just this moment. Paige’s arms were planted on the desk and guarded both sides of Azzi, while the brown eyed girl placed her hands on Paige’s cheeks, both staring lovingly at each other.

“I like the way you hold me,” Azzi whispered as if in a dream state while caressing Paige’s cheeks. “You make me feel safe. You make me forget every negative thought I have about how I played during a game, about my fears of not being good enough for the team…or for you”.

As Azzi’s words traveled towards what seemed like a potential downward spiral of pessimism, Paige placed her hands back on Azzi’s waist.

“Az. You’re always enough, you’re even more than enough,” Paige eyebrows slightly furrowed, her eyes almost welling up. “You’re not trying to be perfect for your team or for me… you’re just perfectly you. You play because you trust yourself and your team. And you love me the way you always have. We would never expect anything different.”

Azzi scanned her girlfriend’s face in awe while a single tear fell from hereyes, which Paige swiftly wiped away. The blue eyed girl pecked Azzi’s lips before looking to see if her girlfriend was in the right headspace.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m getting emotional and over-thinking right now. Our summer just started… I guess I’ll be on my period soon,” Azzi softly laughed at her reason as Paige closed her eyes and chuckled.

“Azzi, don’t think about any of that when you’re with me, okay?” Paige’s eyebrows tented while she looked intensely at Azzi, anticipating for a response from her girlfriend. The curly haired girl nodded and gave Paige a reassuring smile before wrapping her arms around the blonde’s neck once more, pulling her even closer.

“I’ll make you feel better, baby,” Paige lowly hummed and darted her lips onto Azzi’s, more soft moans escaping from the younger girl. The kiss was slow and steady, allowing them to be in rhythm with their bodies and to place their arms in perfect position. Paige tilted her head, in which Azzi responded by opening her lips wider for Paige’s tongue to explore. The pace of their tongues ran between quick and slow, tangling in each other and wetting both their lips. Amidst the steamy make out session, Paige’s right hand traveled towards Azzi’s centre where the warmth was increasingly felt. Without a second to waste, Paige rubbed her hand onto Azzi’s clit, which was double gated by the fabric of her underwear and sports shorts. Azzi let out a louder moan in between their kisses.

“You’re so wet down there, girl,” Paige mumbled in amusement while her lips traveled to Azzi’s jawline, giving each other a moment to breathe, her right hand still rubbing rhythmically on Azzi’s centre.

“Fuck, Paige, I need to take it off,” Azzi squirmed in her place, her frame still being guarded by Paige’s hand placements. Azzi lifted herself slightly from the desk to remove her bottom attire as Paige bit her own lower lip trying to take them off. The shorts and underwear were tossed to the side so quickly before they resumed fervently to their french kissing. Paige, with direct access to Azzi’s clit, rubbed it with her middle and ring fingers, the slick lubricating the area. Azzi resorted to uneven huffs, small bouts of edging from just a singular action.

“Babe, not too soon. I’ve only just started,” Paige reminded in between sloppy kisses on her girlfriend’s neck.

Before Azzi knew it, Paige slid her fingers into her causing Azzi to slump faintly into them. Paige grunted at her own actions and at the sight of Azzi in a vulnerable state. Paige’s long fingers moved in a rhythmic nature in and out of the younger girl causing an eruption of melodic moans sounding across the room. With more need to satisfy her curly haired girlfriend, Paige then went down on her knees, her torso at a perfect height for her lips to close into Azzi’s clit. Just as her tongue was about to touch Azzi’s entrance, the brown eyed girl grabbed quickly onto Paige’s head and pulled her even closer.

Damn, Paige thought as she realised how needy her girlfriend was. Paige’s tongue danced on Azzi’s folds, as if emulating their french kiss earlier. Up, down, in, out. Not a beat missing as Paige moans into her girlfriend, who was riding her high.

“Ugh, don’t stop, baby. Just like that,” Azzi exasperated as her arms gripped tighter on Paige’s head, rocking her hips onto her face in matching rhythm.

“Mmm, you like that, princess?” Paige looked up at her girlfriend while her own body heated up, her fingers and tongue moving faster in tandem as she sucks on her folds.

Moans and whimpers started becoming more and more erratic as the motion of Paige’s fingers and tongue did not seem to stop. Soon, Azzi’s moaning in particular started escalating to a short-note, ascending pitch; usually an indication for Paige that she was about to cum. Paige timely curled her fingers in more.

“Paige, I’m gonna-“ Azzi exclaimed, bringing her head backwards, still gripping onto her girlfriend’s head. Meanwhile, there was no sign of Paige stopping until Azzi came. And on Azzi’s loudest moan, a wave of orgasm vibrated through the younger girl’s body and a fair amount of ejaculation poured out of Azzi. Paige moaned and made sure to lick and swallow every bit that had come out.

“You’re so hot,” Paige smirked before getting up, licking her lips and bringing her thumb to remove the cum around her mouth that her tongue could not reach. Azzi smiled, her eyes slightly closed after her first orgasm of the night. Without hesitation, the younger girl removed her top, revealing her bare chest and, thus, fully exposing her naked body to her entranced girlfriend.

“Paige, stop staring and take your damn clothes off,” Azzi commanded. Shaking her head from a hypnotised state, the blonde chuckled and followed suit. She crossed her arms and latched onto the lower hem of her shirt before taking it off sexily, making Azzi bite her inner cheeks - a sight she will never get tired of seeing. Paige then proceeded to untie and take off her black checkered basketball shorts (which she had bought a matching blue pair for Azzi) and her boxer shorts, tossing them into the dark corner of Azzi’s room.

“Mmm, you’re so fine, babe,” Azzi said in a sultry tone before jumping out of her desk and wrapping her arms yet again on her girlfriend’s neck while smiling in satisfaction. A red tint developed onto Paige’s cheeks as she smiled gingerly, wrapping her arms around Azzi’s waist.

“Let me ride you,” Azzi seductively whispered into her girlfriend’s ear, her breath tickling. Paige looked at Azzi in pure lust, biting her lips.

Their expressions at each other turned more dark, their stares searching for more. Azzi turned Paige around and guided her towards her bed, making sure that when Paige felt the edge of her covers behind her knees, Azzi could gently lay her on her back. The taller girl then used her elbows to scoot herself towards the pillows and head board, while Azzi was on her knees following Paige up the bed. Once Paige stopped moving, Azzi continued moving up, having Paige in between her legs until she reached the blonde’s centre and straddled her. Without a moment’s hesitation, Paige placed her hands on Azzi’s waist, rubbing small circles with her thumb and letting out a small whistle, making Azzi roll her eyes playfully. Soon, Azzi bent forward with her back slightly arched and her arms propped on either side of Paige, keeping herself steady.

Without a moment to waste, Azzi started grinding in circular motions over Paige’s clit.

“Oh, fuck,” Paige gasped at the quick arousal. The entire moment all-encompassing of making her head spin, especially seeing Azzi’s seductive expression as she slowly rode her. Paige also moved her hips in rhythm, a slow burn in both their centres. Their movement continued with their eyes locked in, but Azzi needed more from her girlfriend. She knew how quick Paige makes her feel satisfied and always wanted to reciprocate.

Azzi quickened her motion gradually, eliciting moans and whimpers from Paige, who seemed to already be troubled with pleasure. The brown eyed girl then bent down even more and started sucking on Paige’s breast, while massaging the opposite.

“Az, oh god,” the sight was overwhelming for Paige, but in a good way. Azzi smirked in her sloppy make out session with Paige’s breast, before using her tongue to tickle her nipple in unintelligible ways. The sensation caused Paige to bend her head backwards as she caressed Azzi’s ass, the arousal creeping up.

“I’ll ride you like a cowgirl,” Azzi cheekily uttered before placing a wet kiss on her girlfriend’s lips. The curly haired girl then sat up started lightly grinding up and down and in circular motions, making enough movement for Paige to let out uneven gasps and whimpers. This prompted Azzi to then bounce on Paige’s clit while moaning loudly herself, aggravating her girlfriend’s state of mind and wanting her to beg to continue.

“You’re making me go crazy, baby,” Paige exhaled in frustration, her hands travelling up towards Azzi’s breast and massaging it synchronously with Azzi’s motion. Paige starting groaning as Azzi’s clit against hers sent electrical waves down her spine. Without missing a beat, Azzi removed herself from Paige’s clit, so she could bend down and envelope her girlfriend’s pussy in her mouth. Paige promptly bent her knees, feet flat on the bed, as Azzi held her thighs. The lust-filled Azzi started licking Paige’s folds and inserting her tongue into her entrance in a faster tempo, continuing the high from tribbing. Her fingers rubbing up and down in alternate patterns with her mouth, making a chaotic, but systematic routine for Paige to climax off of.

“Come for me, baby,” Azzi moaned while her fingers started rubbing Paige’s clit even faster. Paige gently grabbed Azzi’s head, rubbing her pussy on Azzi’s nose and lips while her whimpers grew louder.

“Fu- uck,” Paige groaned and closed her eyes, bewitched by the sensation and thought of a perfect princess being able to frazzle her mind and control her in many ways. In just a few seconds, Paige’s own fluids came out, surprising Azzi with a couple of squirts as the curly haired girl continued inserting into her in a curled direction, savouring the last few seconds of Paige’s orgasm. Just like that, Paige ejaculated the remainder into Azzi’s hands, letting out her loudest moan of the night. In a satisfied hum, Azzi licked her fingers clean and got out of position, laying herself beside her girlfriend. The pair brought themselves closer into a cuddle.

“I’d rate that an eleven out of ten,” Paige joked, her arm snaking under Azzi’s head, pulling her girlfriend close and kissing her forehead.

“What the hell, so we’re rating our sex now? But, thanks, I knew I was better,” Azzi teased before pecking her girlfriend's cheeks. Paige chuckled, then furrowed her eyebrows.

“Wait, what does that mean? So, mine wasn’t good enough?” Paige questioned in disbelief, her neck shifting to look at Azzi fully. The younger girl laughed contagiously as she gripped her girlfriend’s waist, bringing them closer.

“It’s not like that. I think I give more variety. Like, you just like eating me out. Which I’d still rate highly-,” Paige scoffed in interruption to Azzi’s words. She shifted her body even closer so that their faces were only millimetres apart.

“Oh yeah? What if bring in the strap? Then what? Huh?” Paige retorted in a whisper, their light argument emulating that of high schoolers.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll give you that. I remember the first time we used it, I was more aroused by how good it looked on you than anything else. Too fine…” Azzi continued teasing while staring at Paige in a trance and tracing her fingers along her girlfriend��s jawline, remembering the image of Paige with a black strap on with a pink dildo. The blonde grew more confident and annoyingly egotistical with her next words.

“Oh, I thought I, and quoted by Azzi Fudd, fucked you’re brains out. And, if I recall, you couldn't stop talking about it for days - "Paige, Paige, can we do it again? Pretty please? Oh my god, you were a beast," the older girl mocked her girlfriend in exaggeration, Azzi's mouth left agape followed by slapping her girlfriend's exposed arm.

"Okay, now you're just making stuff up," shook her head with a grin.

"So you were really not satisfied with everything after that, huh?” Paige raised her eyebrows, her eyes flicking to Azzi’s chest as they were still both naked.

“And what if I said I wasn’t?” Azzi played along, clasping Paige’s jaw and peppering the side of her mouth with kisses.

“I’d like to have a satisfied customer,” Paige hurriedly got out of the bed and made her way to the many boxes hidden in the corner of Azzi’s closet. Azzi couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of an adamant Paige rummaging through the thousand of boxes where the strap hid secretively.

[thehighladywrites]

masterlist.

a court of thornes and roses

rhysand

ᜊ Beneath their smiles - your friends turn out to be using you, comfort and hurt

ᜊ Texting Rhysand - smau

ᜊ Sugar daddy Rhysand - big dick daddy rhysand spends cash on you and falls in love, breaking your agreement

ᜊ “Just one more, I know you can do it” - rhys has a massive breeding kink

ᜊ “This isn’t goodbye, this is simply see you later” - ex husband/baby daddy rhysand

ᜊ “I got you, darling…” - Rhys takes care of you on your period

azriel

ᜊ Texting Azriel - smau

ᜊ Texting Azriel pt. 2 - smau

ᜊ Need you so bad baby, please… - ovulation week hits you hard, you need your mate

ᜊ Azzie, I think your mom is super hot… - you meet azriels mother and develop a little crush on her

ᜊ I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater… - angst, just plain angst with a somewhat bittersweet ending

ᜊ “Tell me you’re mine” , “ i’m yours” - you dream that azriel was cheating on you and now you can’t look at him without being annoyed. It’s not really his fault, but still… azriel reassures you, promising that you’re the only one for him.

ᜊ “You can even call me daddy, give you someone to look up to” - sugar daddy azriel spoils you

ᜊ “If it’s so wrong, why does it feel so good?” - azriel is a stalker and pervy guy

ᜊ The sessions masterlist - nerdy azriel x bimbo reader

ᜊ “You were flirting with me?” - you doubt Azriel even likes you since all he does is stare into your soul. Azriel thinks he is very clear when he stares, why do you not understand that he is flirting?

cassian

ᜊ That’s your mother but she’s my wife first… - your kids loose their tempers, cassian reminds them who you are, nsfw, light angst, hurt & comfort

ᜊ The Airhead Chronicles: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5 - cassian is mates to a ditzy reader, and he loves her more than anything. How do they function together? - FINISHED

ᜊ “make her squirt on my balmain shirt” - cassian finds out you can squirt

eris vanserra

ᜊ Professor Eris x reader: part 1, part 2, part 2,5, part 3 part 4 part 5 - you hook up with this delicious older man for one fun night to forget your scummy ex, what do you do when the same man turns out to be your new professor? What do you do when that same professor had a dark secret? - ONGOING

ᜊ Vanserra brothers NSFW Alphabet - nsfw, crack, a sprinkle of angst

feyre archeron

ᜊ “let’s settle this catfight in the ring, let’s settle this in bed” - enemies to lovers, smut, angst, jealousy

elain archeron

soon

lucien vanserra

ᜊ Vanserra brothers NSFW Alphabet - nsfw, crack, a sprinkle of angst

acotar men x reader

ᜊ ACOTAR men x reader, sneaking out to a bar while you’re drunk - smau, multi men, tiny bit nsfw

ᜊ ACOTAR men x reader, using doe eyes on them - nsfw, multi men, headcanons

ᜊ ACOTAR men x reader, putting bows on their things - headcanons, multi men, cute asf

ᜊ ACOTAR men x reader, you being asexual - smau, multi men, headcanons

ᜊ ACOTAR men x reader, sassy man apocalypse - smau, multi men, crack

ᜊ ACOTAR men x reader, being their sneaky link - multi men, nsfw, headcanons

ᜊ ACOTAR men x reader, banning them from intimacy - multi men, nsfw, headcanons

ᜊ ACOTAR men x reader, meeting your parents - multi men, headcanons, crack, fluff

ᜊ ACOTAR men x reader, your child catches you in the act - multi men, headcanons, crack, nsfw

ᜊ ACOTAR men x reader, sitting on their lap - multi men, headcanons, nsfw

ᜊ ACOTAR men x reader, them as your baby daddies - multi men, nsfw

DEALER DIARIES SERIES - different fics/headcanons/drabbles of the acotar men as drug dealers/involved in drugs

multi characters

ᜊ Breaking up with the acotar characters as a prank - smau, multi

ᜊ Texting “ She’s busy “ as a prank with the acotar characters - smau, multi

ᜊ ACOTAR characters x reader, ” I had a really fun time yesterday. Oops wrong person ” - smau, multi

ᜊ ACOTAR characters x reader, creepy man hitting on drunk reader - smau, multi, tiny bit nsfw

ᜊ ACOTAR characters x reader, we need to talk - smau, multi

ᜊ ACOTAR characters x reader, sending them nudes/lingerie pics - smau, multi, nsfw

ᜊ ACOTAR characters x reader, asking them for hand pics - smau, multi, tiny bit nsfw

ᜊ ACOTAR characters x reader, “can i get x’s number?” - smau, multi

ᜊ ACOTAR characters x reader, doing elf on the shelf for your kids - smau, multi

ᜊ ACOTAR characters x reader, random texts - smau, nsfw, multi

ᜊ nsfw visual links for them - multi, smut, nsfw,

ᜊ ACOTAR characters x reader, “where’s my treat?” - multi, nsfw-ish

ᜊ ACOTAR characters using twitter; pt 1 | pt 2 - nsfw, swearing

ᜊ ACOTAR characters x reader, forgetting your anniversary - smau, angst, multi

throne of glass

multi:

ᜊ TOG characters x reader, sending them lingerie pics - smau, multi, suggestiveness

[makethemhoesmad]

merry christmas, please don’t call

merry christmas!!!!

azzi x paige

1.14k words

please live react

if you’re sad about the angst blame @lupinqs and @imaginespazzi

—

“fuck this,” paige groans, flinging herself down onto the couch and bringing her hands to her face. she’d been sitting, rigid, staring at the gifts with her name under the tree, wondering if she should return them or save them. some of them, she’d bought three months ago, so soon she could probably still bring them back and get a refund. she flips her phone over, checking to see if one of the girls had messaged her, inviting her over to do something. it was christmas eve, after all. no messages, not even one that she definitely wasn’t looking for. 

…

azzi’s laugh rings through her family’s living room, but if someone would have looked at her, they would have seen that it barely brushed her smile, didn’t even touch her eyes. there weren’t even any presents for paige under the tree, she noted. her mom had definitely bought something, they love loved her too much to not have thought of her before it happened. would they get them to paige still, somehow? what would azzi do with the hoodie, the shoes, the necklace she bought her?

who was she kidding, she’d sleep with them tonight, clutching them tight in her arms while wearing something else that still smelled like her, in the sheets they used to share.

…

paige knocks back another glass of something. definitely not very festive, she knows that much. sadly, it’s the only way she sees fit to rinse the images of her in matching christmas pajamas, baking cookies, under the covers…

stop, paige tells herself, because this is pathetic. begging on your damn knees because your girl(sorry, ex girl) was in a mood about an injury and told you to go fuck yourself, so you told her to go right on out of your bed. And you haven’t spoken to her since, unless it’s about basketball. Because it’s always about basketball

…

azzi gets nice and settled with her family, tucked in tight together on the couch to watch the Grinch, this year’s choice holiday movie. and it’s fine, azzi can sit there and try to forget, until a seemingly innocent little scene comes on. one who rushes up behind her husband, catching a quick goodbye kiss. that sends her over the edge, because she didn’t get a goodbye kiss. she should be cuddled here with her family and paige, and giggle when paige pecks her on the lips right along with the movie

she stands up abruptly, shaking her head and running into her room. she flings herself onto her bed, burying her face in paige’s hoodie, still laying there. 

when katie fudd walks into the room, sitting on her daughter’s bed and lightly rubbing her back, she’s thinking of paige, too. she knows that’s who azzi needs in times like this, even when paige is the reason azzi gets like this. the only way to fix her issue with paige, sadly, is with paige.

“you should call her, sweetie”

azzi sits up, shaking her head as her tear stained face crumples again. “no, you don’t get it. she begged me not to call her. told me that if i called her, she knew we’d be right back to where we were, with the same issues.” a sob comes out at the end, because really, all azzi wants to do is call paige, beg her to hop on a flight and make it here by morning, then never let her leave her arms again.

“where’s my phone,” she sighs, teary eyes set in a determined stare.

…

paige startles awake, her phone buzzing under her pillow.  the contact lit on her screen is the only one she didn’t want to see, couldn’t see. for some insane, unexplained reason, she slides to answer the call.

she hears a snuffle on the other end, then a voice croaking out, “paigey”

her resolve softens, just the way she knew it would.

“baby, is everything okay? did something happen?” she asks, even though she knows what azzi will tell her. this is what happens every time they fight, and one of them has to leave a few days after. except this time, it’s christmas. 

“no, nothing is okay,” azzi whimpers into the phone. miles away, she’s clutching the phone like a lifeline, waving her mother out of the bedroom. “i need you, please, i need anything. i need to listen to you call me baby, and hold me in your arms.”

paige tries, she really does, to say no, to be firm, to say that they can talk about it when she comes back to school, but she really needs to take some of her own time right now. but something about the way azzi’s voice cracked when she said need had paige looking up quick flights. 

she found nothing.

“paige?” azzi breathes, the line having gone silent. 

“i’m so sorry, az. there’s no flights. not one damn plane can take me to you.”

she swears she can hear azzi’s face drop, and then she really does hear the shaking, gulping sobs that break through the speakers. 

“no, sweetheart, please don’t cry. ill drive, i’ll be there tomorrow when you wake up, i swear up and down, baby, please don’t cry you’re breaking my heart,” paige grovels. she really doesn’t know how to refuse azzi, and when she’s crying, she doesn’t even think it’s possible. 

“paigey, please, please, please,” azzi whispers, saying please like it’s a mantra, like it’s keeping her warm.

“yeah, baby, i’ve got you, just try and sleep. i’ll be there as quick as i can.

paige rushes around her room, mumbling affirmations to azzi as she collects things in a duffel, then locks her door and walks to her car. she hears azzi’s deep, stuttering breath that tells her she’s cried herself right to sleep. 

…

the bed dips, making azzi snuffle and crack her eyes open. she glimpses a tired, tear-stained paige running her hand over her face. she then feels strong arms wrap around her, welcoming the protective feeling of someone near her as she falls back asleep.

…

paige holds azzi tightly, but her own eyes stay wide open. she cried silently nearly the entirety of her drive down here, thinking about how in a month or two, this fight will be back again, and they’ll do the same thing. sometimes, paige is the one begging for azzi to come and hold her. sometimes its azzi. same problem, because they’re connected, no matter how wrong it may seem, no matter how much they hurt each other, they’ll always be essential, the way you have to feel pain to gain something, and the way you have to boil noodles to soften them.

…

paige’s eyes flicker open, tasting azzi’s lips against her own.

“merry christmas, paige”

“i love you, azzi”

~ hope you enjoyed!

have a happy holiday!

[azzifuddworlddomination]

casual pt.4

paige x azzi

where my perkins tolerators at???

they'll be a part 5, maybe a part 6

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Here girls let me open up the trunk for you,” Paige’s mom says as they approach the car. Azzi had already been subjected to a somewhat awkward reunion between mother and daughter, and now she has to sit through a forty-minute car ride with not only Paige and her mother but her siblings as well.

Paige truly does love her mother, and her mother loves her. When Paige’s mother, Amy, found out she was having a girl she was over the moon. So excited for the princesses, the pink, the dresses, and the unicorns that would fill her life once her little girl was born. It didn’t take long for Amy to catch on that her baby girl was a copy and paste of her father, Amy’s estranged husband. Between Paige being a constant reminder of her failed marriage and several states between them, Paige didn’t see her mom too often. Amy thought inviting Paige’s best friend would sweeten the deal and encourage her to come. She was right, but as the girls giggle as they load their stuff into the car. Amy silently rejoices as she sees her daughter happy to be in Montana for once.

As they pull out of the airport parking lot Paige’s younger siblings, Ryan and Lauren, begin to fire off every question and fun fact that hits their mind. Paige and Azzi indulge them by giving the kids the silliest answers that she can to keep them entertained as Amy navigates the snowy mountain roads. Finally, they reach Amy’s home. As they bring in their bags Paige nudges Azzi, “y’know you’re staying in my room right? My mom said she set up the guest bedroom, but I told her you’re fine with me.” Conflicted, Azzi responds, “P, if your mom went to all that trouble I should at least humor her.” 

Amy leads them into the house, stopping at Paige’s room so she could drop off her bags before taking Azzi further down the hall. “Here you go Azzi, let me know if you need anything, okay sweetie?” Azzi nodded her head as Amy shut the door behind her. She held my hand the whole flight… who does that?? Casual my ass, Azzi thinks to herself. She stares up at the ceiling, am I stupid??? What am I doing here?” Azzi’s thoughts are interrupted as she hears knocks on the door. Azzi sits up at the sudden noise and looks over at the door. It’s Paige, she lets herself in as Azzi gives a nod of approval. Paige makes her way over to the bed and sits down next to Azzi. Silence fills the room before Paige breaks it. “Don’t sleep in here,” Paige looks at Azzi. She has a earnest look in her eyes, “Please, I need you with me…” “Okay,” Azzi replies “I will.” 

 Amy turned on a movie for the kids to watch as she worked on Thanksgiving dinner for the next day. Ryan and Paige played Fortnite on his switch as Azzi let Lauren tell her all about the fourth-grade drama ensuing at her school. Azzi even pinky swore to not tell anyone that Lauren had a boyfriend, a boy in her class named Brady, who played basketball but wasn’t super good. Azzi also promised to beat him in a game of HORSE if he broke her heart. As the night continued, one more movie and three more bowls of popcorn later, Lauren and Ryan were asleep. Paige carried Ryan as Azzi carried Lauren to their rooms. Meeting back out in the hall after they had laid their respective kid down, they went into Paige’s room. Azzi briefly imagined what that would be like someday, laying their own kids down to go to sleep. But reality hit as Paige left Ryan’s room and ushered Azzi into hers.

Paige closed the door as she pressed Azzi up against it, kissing her neck. “I’ve waited all day to do this, Az,” Paige muttered as she kissed a trail down her neck. Azzi could give you a list of a thousand reasons why she shouldn’t give in right now, but she ignores all of them as she slips her shirt over her head and lets Paige lead her to the bed.

Hours later when Amy walks by, after finishing a night-long cooking session, she peeks into Paige’s room. The two girls lay in bed, burrowed into the blankets. Too tired to really process anything she figures they must’ve fallen asleep talking. As snow falls over the peaceful Montana mountains that night. Paige pulls Azzi closer as the cold winds seep through the window crack.

“Wake up!!! Wake up!!! You’re gonna miss the parade!!!” Lauren and Ryan run into Paige’s room as the two girls frantically attempt to untangle their limbs. “We’re up! We’re up! Geez get out of here!” Paige yells as her younger siblings retreat out of the room. Paige gets up and throws a sweatshirt and flannel pajama pants toward Azzi, “it’s cold as shit,” she mutters as puts warmer layers on. The two join Lauren and Ryan in the living room watching the parade. They decide to join the kids’ protest of breakfast to save room for their Thanksgiving dinner.  

After the parade is over Paige retreats to her room to change as Azzi wanders into the kitchen. She finds a distraught Amy at the kitchen table. “The wind must’ve knocked the power out last night! The fridge never turned back on. All of it is spoiled! God I can’t do anything right,” Azzi envelopes Amy in a hug. “You couldn’t have known that that was going to happen… It’ll be okay,” she reassured her, “we can go out to eat! It’ll be fine it’ll be okay!” Paige walks in and sees Azzi hugging and soothing her mom. Concerned at what happened Paige approaches them, but Azzi brushes her away and mouths to “not worry about it.” 

Azzi helps Amy find a restaurant open on Thanksgiving day. They settle on a Perkins that’s about thirty minutes away. While it wasn’t the Thanksgiving dinner she had worked so hard to give her kids, it was still something. Amy loaded the kids into the car as they waited on Paige and Azzi. “When you were with my mom… That was really sweet, Az,” Paige held Azzi’s cheek and turned her towards her. “It was really no problem,” Azzi replied sheepishly. “I love you, Az, I mean it,” Paige looks Azzi in the eyes before finally bringing her lips to hers. Paige pulls back, as Azzi looks up at her, “I… I… think your mom’s ready to go.” 

As Amy pulls into the Perkins parking lot, its deserted. They walk into the resteraunt, and are seated immediately. Amy can’t help, but wonder if they’re judging her. Once their orders are taken, Paige excuses herself to go to the bathroom. Looking around the table, Azzi decides that going to the bathroom now would be less awkward than sitting with Amy, Ryan, Lauren, and their father. She follows Paige to the bathroom, and opens the door to see Paige splashing her face with water. “You okay, P?” Azzi asks. “Yeah, fine,” Paige responds. “No, you’re not P…” Azzi looks at her. “I said I loved you, Az, and you didn’t say anything back,” Paige replies. “I do… I really do love you Paige, its just I’ve been so confused about what we are lately I just couldn’t say it,” Azzi responds, moving towards Paige, “What are we?” “We’re what we’ve always been, Az,” Paige says grabbing her hand. Azzi should’ve been pissed off by this non-answer-answer, but as Paige grabbed her hand and pulled her closer, she couldn’t find it in herself to be mad. “Yeah?” Azzi responds, playing with Paige’s fingers in her hand. “So… do you love me?” Paige asks, “I love you, P” Azzi responds bringing her hand up to kiss it. “Then show me,” Paige says as she drags Azzi into a bathroom stall. “This isn’t a good idea,” Azzi says as she pulls at Paige’s flannel to expose her shoulders. “Your mom’s out there… she could walk in…” Azzi tries to justify between kisses. “So let her,” Paige breaks out as she grabs Azzi’s hair. 

Azzi presses Paige against the door as she kisses down her neck. Shedding her flannel, Paige throws it on the floor as Azzi helps lift her shirt above her head granting her access to more skin. Azzi kisses down Paige’s neck and stomach before arriving at her jeans. She looks up at Paige for permission as she unbuttons her jeans. Azzi pulls her jeans down and kisses the clothed area before moving to her inner thigh. Azzi rises back up to Paige’s height as she plunges two fingers deep into her folds. 

When the girls arrive back at the table, their meal is already out. They tried their best to smooth each other’s hair, and rid each other of a freshly fucked look. Amy sarcastically welcomes them back to the table, and for a split second, she wonders if her mom is catching onto them. 

[imaginespazzi]

Forget jealous Paige, how do we think poor KK's dealing with the fact that her father and sister were literally vibing to her song WITHOUT her 😭

Alright unserious unedited chaotic family drabble because I feel like procrastinating. Like I'm not even joking this is the most random thing I've ever written so read at your own discretion:

It's way too early in the morning when Paige's phone rings, making both her and Ice groan.

"KK what the fuck," Paige asks groggily, wiping at bleary eyes as a furious KK's face fills her phone screen.

"You said you didn't have a favorite child. LIAR," KK yells.

"Oh my god KK," Ice whines from across the room, "please shut the fuck up. My head is pounding."

"GOOD! TO MY SONG?" KK pays no attention, still as loud as ever, "HOW COULD YOU? BOTH OF YOU FUCKING TRAITORS."

"Bro you knew we were going," Paige sighs, sitting up properly.

"That's not the point. You know what give me one second. AZZI. AZZI. AZZI," and then KK's off running, blurry on Paige's screen as she yells for Azzi.

"Oh my god what? What?" Azzi's concerned voice comes through the phone, a smile replacing her frown when KK thrusts the phone in her face, "oh, hi P!"

Before a now grinning Paige can reply, KK cuts her off, "no! Don't hi P her. Did you see Ice's live? They been having the time of our lives without us. THEY WERE VIBING TO MY SONG. MY SONG AZZI!"

"Uh they're quite literally there to get drunk and party, we knew this," Azzi says, trying to hide a smile.

"Again not the point," KK sighs exasperatedly.

"What is the point KK," Paige asks with a tired yawn, "get to it then."

"The point is that you two are getting divorced and I'm finding myself a new stepfather. I will not be tolerating this disrespect," KK says firmly.

"Excuse me," Paige says shrilly, "I do not agree to a divorce."

"You don't have to. Mothers do what's best for their children and Azzi's gonna do what's best for me. Right Azzi?" KK glares at Azzi who sighs exasperatedly.

"You're both aware that you're not actually my husband and child right?"

"Excuse you," Paige screeches at the same time as KK gasps dramatically and Azzi has to mentally prevent herself from sighing again.

"Okay alright, divorce yes okay," Azzi gives in, KK squeals and this time Paige is glaring.

"Wow. It's that easy huh? Guess all of those years meant nothing to you."

Azzi shakes her head, trying to hide her smile at Paige's mock offense.

"And now to find a stepfather," KK says triumphantly and then her eyes light up with a glint as a blonde walks in, "KATE!"

Kate looks like a deer caught in the headlight as she walks cautiously towards an over-excited KK and a slightly mortified Azzi, "uhhh hi?"

"I have a very important question for you Kate," KK says with all the seriousness of the world, "are you married?"

"Uh....no?" Kate answers, confused at that line of questioning, as Azzi hides her face in her palms.

"KK what the fuck are you doing?" Paige yells at her phone, suddenly very unamused by this whole thing.

"Ssssh P-boogers, I'm about to perform a wedding."

"Umm what?" poor Kate asks, looking at Azzi for help, not used to the insanity that is the UConn women's team. To be honest, she's not fully sure if all of this is a joke.

"You and Azzi are getting married and then you're going to adopt me," KK says firmly.

"I swear we're normal people....most of the time," Azzi tries to reassure Kate.

"Dearly beloved, or unbeloved since it's Paige and Ice, I guess, we are here today to marry these two women," KK begins and then looks at Azzi and Kate who are standing a feet apart, "uh hello? You have to hold hands."

Paige splutters, "Martin I don't know you that well but if you hold her hand I swear to God."

"Oh calm down ex-father," KK fires back, "let me get my new parents married in peace. Now since there are no objections-"

"I OBJECT," Paige yells, turning to a sleeping Ice who's trying to block out the noise using a pillow, "ICE your mother is getting married to someone else, get the fuck up and come here and object with me."

"Your objections don't count because you're liars and traitors. MY SONG. MY FUCKING SONG."

"Bro you're all I was thinking about I swear," Paige pleads, "after every Bow, I was like oh my god KK would have loved this. I missed you every second I'm sorry."

"Sorry is not good enough," KK says petulantly.

"I got you a signed autograph. It was gonna be a surprise but you need to know. I swear KK, I would have had so much more fun if it was with you bro. It just wasn't the same."

"Oh that makes me feel great. Thanks Paige." Ice mumbles from under the sheets.

"ONE MAD CHILD AT A TIME THANK YOU," Paige says exasperatedly.

KK contemplates Paige's words for a moment before turning to Kate.

"I'm sorry Kate. It looks like this wedding can't go on. It's not you. It's us. Hope you understand," she says with a solemn expression, "but I already have a father and she's great. A little stupid sometimes but great."

Kate nods dumbstruck, unsure what had just happened in the last couple of minutes but she's pretty sure she's just been dismissed.

"FATHER," KK yells turns her face back to her phone, "I missed you. Let's never fight again. That was the worst 10 minutes of my life."

"SON SON," Paige shouts with glee, "let's never do that again."

Azzi pinches the bridge of her nose, wondering how she'd let this become her life.

"If the two of you are done, can I go back to rehab now?" she asks with a raised eyebrow.

Paige narrows her eyes at Azzi through the phone, "were you about to get married to someone else?"

Oh boy here we go again

[siriuslystyle1989]

Hard Liquor Mixed With A Bit Of Intellect (Part 2)

series masterlist misc masterlist

Modern!Azriel x fem!reader

Ever since that fated night, Y/n and Azriel became seemingly inseparable.

In Y/n's eyes, the stars had aligned at the right time as she began to believe the two were destined to meet.

It had been around four months since that night at the club and neither of them had been back, as much as Cassian had begged Azriel he refused, being too infatuated with Y/n's presence and wanting to be with her as much as humanly possible.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Azriel found himself slumped down on Rhys' velvet sofa, largely uncomfortable but loudly implying the man's wealth.

Cassian bounded through the room and flung himself next to Azriel, clasping a small almond from the coffee table in front of them, throwing it in the air and catching it in his mouth.

Azriel rolled his eyes.

Feyre, looking slightly worn out, yet still beautiful, sat across from them on a similar piece of furniture, bouncing her son, Nyx, on her knee, waiting for her husband to join them.

As if on queue, Rhysand waltzed in, in his usual blasé manner, plopping down next to his wife, swinging his ankle up onto his knee and his arm behind Feyre.

"Haven't seen you in a while." Rhys commented, signalling towards Azriel.

"I've been busy." Azriel shrugged back. It's not that he did not want his friends to know about Y/n, he just didn't want to push her into doing anything she might be uncomfortable with like... meeting his family, for instance.

Cassian smiled at him, a big cheesy grin that could only mean trouble.

He slammed his hand down onto Azriels thigh and squeezed.

"I think little Azzie has a ladyyyyyyy."

Azriel felt himself blush slightly, not enjoying the attention.

"Really, who?" Feyre questioned, joining in the conversation.

"No, I don't know why-"

"Let me guess," Cassian interrupted, his grin seemingly widening. "The pretty girl from the club?"

"What? That was ages ago." He replied trying to deter the conversation. He really should just tell them.

"You went to the club without me?" Rhys added with false betrayal lacing his tone.

"Not my fault you're suddenly boring 'Papa bear'." Cassian replied as Rhys gave him the finger.

"We went about four months ago." Azriel spoke, looking at Rhys.

"Yeah and Az spent the entire time sulking on his own or talking to this girl, then they left and-"

"So are you..." Feyre asked as Azriel flung his head into his hands.

"Her name is Y/n." He said finally, interrupting the interrogation. "And yeah we're together, we have been for a while now."

The room was silent. You could hear a pin drop. Unfortunately, that silence was broken by Cassian snorting.

"What?" Azriel whipped his head around to look at the burly man.

"Told you, looks like I'm $20 richer." Cassian looked at Rhys as he rolled his eyes.

"You made bets on me?" Azriel looked between the two men in disbelief.

"Well we knew something was up with you, it was just what, exactly, we didn't know." Rhys shrugged, grabbing the money from his leather wallet and passing it to Cassian who dramatically kissed the bill.

"You're coming to dinner with us all next week?" Feyre spoke up sending Azriel a sympathetic glance. Azriel nodded, their inner circle tended to have dinner at Rhys' at least once a week. "You should ask your- Y/n, to join us. My sisters will be there too."

"Yeah, I'll have to ask her but I'll check and let you know." Azriel smiled at Feyre.

"Your sisters are going to be there?" Cassian asked to which Feyre nodded.

"The scary one?"

Feyre chuckled

"Nesta? Yes, she will be there."

"Unfortunately." Rhys coughed into his hand as his wife lightly hit his arm.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking down the lane of apartment blocks on the other side of town, Azriel made his way to Y/n.

Knocking on the wooden door, he almost melted as she opened it. Her hair thrown up haphazardly and secured by a claw clip, she wore a baggy t-shirt down to her knees.

"Hi lovely."

"Hi Az." She moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Following her inside, he made himself comfortable on her couch, eyeing the stack of paper and books on her desk.

"You've been studying?"

She nodded settling herself in between his legs, cuddling up to his chest.

"How were your friends?" She asked looking up at him.

"Good" he smiled "I told them about you." he spoke, stroking her hair.

"You did?" She asked with a hint of surprise.

"Yeah, and they asked if you wanted to go have dinner with them. You know, to meet them. Of course, if you don't want to or it's too soon that's fine but-"

Y/n cut him off, smiling up at him "Az, I would love to."

He bent down and kissed her gently on the lips.

"It's a date."

A/N: I'm so excited to write this series. I can't wait for the inner circle to meet Y/n!!

P.S. let me know if you want to be added to my tag list!!

Taglist: @cynthiesjmxazrielslover

[readychilledwine]

Requiem for a Dream

Part two: Oxytocin

(One month later)

Rhiannon and Rhysand have fallen into a routine. Rhys life consists of therapy with Madja, training with Cassian, and returning to his work as High Lord. The only thing missing now is the pretty female he calls his wife.

Warnings - NSFW, sexual tension, mutual masterbation, voyeurism/exhibitionism, and as always unedited. Minors - shooo DNI

A/N - our first slightly spicy scene between two lovers who just can't communicate. This part was written with "Oxytocin" by Billie Eilish in mind.

Part One Part Three Part Four

✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

Rhiannon smiled as she walked out into the training room where a constant tug was coming from the bond.

She could hear Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand laughing. She could feel joy in her bones, lighting her spirit like a flame.

She rested her forearms on the ledge, leaning forward to watch her shirtless husband getting his ass handed to him by her brother. Mor appeared next to her, taking her left hand in her own and squeezing. "He's doing better today. Still a little slower than he used to be." Her bell-like laughter came. "His knees popped, Rhi."

Rhiannon covered her mouth, snorting before she began to laugh. Cassian had noticed her, sending her a wink before beginning to ref the sparing taking place again.

It took Azriel no time to throw Rhysand on the ground. "Gods you are so out of shape," Azriel helped him up. "Maybe you should be sparing your wife instead."

Rhiannon's jaw dropped. "Excuse me?! What the fuck does that mean?"

Cassian smirked. "It means the second your mate is around you stop training. Lazy brat. Relying on her oh so powerful husband for protection."

"I've been busy dealing with my duties, general." Rhiannon blinked at the three laughing males before giving Rhysand a look. Her eyes went from his head to his feet and back up before she smirked. "Besides, I could take him."

Silence fell over the training area.

Rhysand was nodding before he clicked his tongue. "Then come try, Rhiannon Darling." He snapped her illyrian training leathers onto her body, motioning for her to join them in the ring. "Come on, mate."

Rhiannon glared at him, walking to the ring as Azriel shook his head. "If you two do what you did last time you trained together, I'm going to take my own eyes out with a spoon."

Rhiannon smiled at her big brother, who glared at her in return. "That'd only stop you from seeing it, Azzie. You still have to smell and hear it." Azriel gagged loudly, shooting a look to a laughing Cassian before flipping all three of them off.

Rhys stood face to face with his wife, an ever growing smirk on his face. "You look lovely today, my dear. How was my uncle?"

Rhiannon rolled her eyes, taking the hair tie Cassian was offering her. "Oh. Charming as always. I had planned on going into town and spending your gold to make up for being forced to see him, but evidently, I will be nursing your wounds and looking lovely for that instead."

Cassian chuckled backing away. "Oh Rhys," the general spoke, "Rhi-rhi spent the last 50 years training with me daily to work out her anger. Have fun with that." The smirk her mate wore fell as she smiled sweetly at him. "Begin."

Rhys made the first move, wanting to get Rhiannon on the ground as fast as possible to prevent her from getting hurt. His arms went around her waist, locking tightly. Rhiannon recovered quickly, going on the defensive and slamming her foot into his and then her elbow into his lower stomach.

His grip on her loosened, allowing her to grab and twist one of his arms behind his back. He moved quickly, freeing himself from her grasp before tutting her from across the ring.

He struck first again, catching her into a forward bear hug and lifting her off the ground. Rhiannon looked to Cassian, slightly panicked, and he nodded at her. "You know how to get out of this, sis."

Rhiannon locked her feet behind Rhysand's knee pits and began digging her heels in. She heard her mate yelp and his knees slightly bent. She took advantage, throwing her body weight forward and knocking him onto his back on the ground.

She had pulled Rhysand's head into her shoulder and neck to protect him in the fall and unlocked her legs as quickly as she could. She moved to look down at him with a smile before realizing the position they were in.

Rhysand and Rhiannon were silent as she sat on top of him, hands having fallen to his chest. His hands were tightly locked on her hips. Their lips were inches apart. The tension between them could have been cut with the dullest of knives. Unknowingly to each of them, they were both craving each other. Desperate to touch each other. Rhiannon knew she needed to wait, though, despite the growing heat in her body. She was off of him instantly and moving quickly to the door.

She heard him calling her name, following after her, asking what was wrong, but she didn't stop. She knew if she did, her own selfish needs would get in the way of his healing. Opening a door and shutting herself into the spare bedroom she had moved into since his return, Rhiannon warded it from him before ripping her leathers off on the way to the bathroom.

—-----------

Rhys slammed the nearest object onto the ground before sitting on his bed. He was this close to her. This close to taking advantage of the opening the four of them had set up to get Rhiannon to kiss him and possibly touch him.

He felt like an addict without a fix the past week. He was ready to start trying physical intimacy with his wife, his beautiful selfless wife. He sighed and leaned back on the bed, tugging that bond between them gently and knocking on her mental shields.

"What are you doing, little nightingale?" Rhys felt his brows growing up as her emotions hit him tenfold. Arousal and need smacked him in the face as he found that one small gap she always left in her mind for him.

He wasn't prepared for the image that greeted him. His wife had her pretty little fingers buried in her cunt, her head tossed back in pleasure before she returned watching herself in the mirror imagining it was him fingering her instead of herself.

Rhysand moved his hands to his leathers untying them and freeing his aching cock from his pants before running his hand over the already leaking tip. He began to stroke himself in time with her movements as she rode her hand. He could feel how turned on she was, how needy she was, he could hear her moans. He could practically taste her on his tongue as his eyes shut, and he moaned her name softly.

He began speeding up his movements as he saw one of her hands squeeze her perfect tits and her fingers come out to play with that bundle of nerves he could use to make her cum within seconds. She was close, panting his name like a prayer over and over as if he was there. She was tugging the bond, accidentally allowing the overly active string of fate to send her pleasure straight to her mate.

He desperately wanted to be behind her with his hand in place of her own, her body pressed tightly against his larger frame as his long fingers pulled her apart and he whispered every single thing he'd be doing to her, but only if she was a good girl and came for him.

One more circle around her swollen clit was all it took for his wife to come undone on her own hands and fingers. He followed her over that edge, both of them moaning out each other's names. He relaxed back, breathing heavily and watching as his mate sat in the guest bathroom, shivering and coming down from her orgasm. He set the goal then and there as he saw her slick dripping down her thighs.

Within the next month, he'd kiss her, bring her back to their bed, and he'd at least taste her.

✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

Tag List:

@horneybeach1

@we-were-beautiful

@cat-or-kitten

@twsssmlmaa

@dream-alittlebiggerdarling

@tothestarsandwhateverend

[jotun-philosopher]

Half meta, half ramble

Not entirely sure where this post is going, tbh... Let's find out, eh?

Sooo... I was browsing the Final Fantasy wiki (as one does) and the article for Tantarian (an optional/missable boss in FF9) caught my attention. Y'see, Tantarian is a demon found in a library, hiding in a possessed book -- and is based on the Great Duke of Hell, Dantalion (or Dantalian, the spelling can be inconsistent). How the ever-loving wossname, I hear you cry, does this relate to Good Omens????

Let's take a closer look! (this got longer than I anticipated, hence the cut)

From the Wikipedia article 'List of demons in the Ars Goetia':

"The Seventy-first Spirit is Dantalion. He is a Duke Great and Mighty, appearing in the Form of a Man with many Countenances, all Men's and Women's Faces; and he hath a Book in his right hand. His Office is to teach all Arts and Sciences unto any; and to declare the Secret Counsel of any one; for he knoweth the Thoughts of all Men and Women, and can change them at his Will. He can cause Love, and show the Similitude of any person, and show the same by a Vision, let them be in what part of the World they Will."

Bolded details:

"Duke Great and Mighty" -- evocative of the whole "Thin Dark Duke" thing <3

" [...] he hath a Book in his right hand." -- pretty obvious GO connection there!

(best 'Azzy+book(s)' gif I could find quickly...although on a second look, this might well be from the body swap bit in S1 XD Mr Sheen, you ludicrously talented chaos gremlin, you <3 )

(Ok, this one's definitely Crowley XD)

Mah point is dolphins they both match up to the book thing!

"His Office is to teach all Arts and Sciences [...]" -- leaning slightly more towards a Crowley parallel here, with the apple thing partly symbolising intellectual curiosity (essential part of arts and sciences!), but Aziraphale giving away the flaming sword would've helped humanity figure things out in that area as well (even if indirectly)

(I want to boop the snek!!!)

"[...] knoweth the Thoughts of all Men and Women, and can change them at his Will [...]" -- mind-reading! Seems to be sliiiiiightly more of a demon thing from what we've seen (e.g. "Nina: It's like you've seen into my secret soul. Crowley: Yeah, it's a knack.", Shax picking at insecurities in the bookshop battle), but both the Ineffables have directly influenced human minds on screen (e.g. Sitis, the Shopkeepers' Ball)

"[...] can cause Love [...]" -- well, they certainly tried! Operation: Shop Lesbians :D

"[...] show the Similitude of any person [...]" -- mostly seen with the body swap bit so far (where A+C are concerned), but given that for angels and demons, size and shape are merely options, and Beelzebub canonically changed their face, it's not outwith the bounds of possibility that the Ineffable Husbands could disguise themselves as people other than each other (if that makes sense)(and assuming they'd *want* to, of course)

Plus, if you go with the 'Dantalion' spelling, the last four letters form the word 'lion', which is a motif the show ties pretty strongly to Aziraphale via the signet ring on his right hand. Fierce protector angel! <3

Plus plus, from what I've been able to gather, Dantalion is supposed to be one of the more benevolently-inclined Goetic demons -- both the Ineffables are pretty dang benevolent!

The point I'm stumbling towards (stone-cold sober, but with about 3,000,000 on the ND Scoville scale) is that Dantalian/Dantalion has some pretty interesting parallels to both the Ineffable Husbands and so, within the GO verse, could be either another alias of Crowley's or a name Aziraphale might take if he Fell (AU fic writers, start your engines!) :D

As a small bonus, I saw the name 'Shax' mentioned in the list of Marquises of Hell!

The characteristics given for the Goetic Shax don't really match up to TV!Shax that I can tell, apart from the stork symbolism and the "hoarse but subtle voice" (and maaaybe 'is thought to be faithful and obedient, but is a great liar'), but given all the other Goetic parallels, it wouldn't surprise me to see elements of the Goetic description popping up in Shax's S3 arc -- likely in unexpected ways!

Hope you enjoyed reading that ^^ Have fun fic-writing!

[nicky35]

Saw your Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo post and thought of this article where Azzi mentions that she’s read it! I’d love to hear her thoughts on it but just happy that she’s at least read one queer novel among the rest of her painfully straight booktok contemporaries (her fav author being colleen hoover lol)

And this is the same article where she says Paige helps her with her fashion lmao

https://www.one37pm.com/sports/uconn-azzi-fudd-interview

Love that she read it. It’s an amazing book and I don’t normally read romance. Because of that I don’t know a lot of queer books. God don’t even get me started on Colleen Hoover. Everything I’ve heard about her and her writing has been against my will. Hopefully azzi can grow her book taste cause good lord but based on her recent story of books it doesn’t look like it. She needs to befriend someone with better book taste. I know girly is lurking on booktok cause that’s exactly what her taste is giving.

[ghostyghosten]

The Roaring

Part one

Kris wouldn’t take their body back. That was a problem, considering Chara was frustrated. And it was Thanksgiving. Toriel and Asgore were. . . Tense, to say the least.

  “God damn it Kris! Take your body back!” Chara huffed.

  “Kris, honey? Are you alright? You seem awfully quiet.” Toriel spoke up.

  Chara panicked.

  “I’m fine,” Chara forced them to say.

  Toriel seemed skeptical. “You sure? You’re usually a lot more chatty than this.”

  “Uh, anyway, how’s school? Making any new friends?” Asgore butt in.

  “Crap, can we consider that beast our friend?” Chara panicked further.

  “I started hanging out with Susie.”

  “Pft, hanging out. Not like you’ve seen her die before.” Chara laughed.

  Asgore’s eyebrows raised in interest.

  “Susie? Oh, is she the girl that all the teachers keep talking about? The one that gets into a lot of trouble?”

  Toriel shot her ex-husband a chiding look.

  “Well, yes. She is a bit of a ‘Punk’ as they say. But I’m sure she can’t be all that bad, right?”

  “What do we say about her?!”

  “She eats Chalk.”

  “Yay, someone to match your weird-ass eating habits.” Chara said sarcastically.

  Asgore stared at Kris in disbelief.

  “Wait, she eats Chalk? And you’re friends with her? Do you. . . Also eat Chalk?”

  Toriel looked mortified at the implication. There was a knock at the door. Chara sighed in relief 

  “I’ll get it.” Kris got up and walked towards the front door.

  “Take. Your. Fucking. Body. Back!” Chara tried so hard, until Kris opened the door.

  “Azzy?” Asriel. Chara sighed in relief as Kris took their body back.

[thelov3lybookworm]

I Didn't Ask For This (part one)

Summary: Marriage had always been something sacred to little Y/n, something dream like, where her husband would come and whisk her away to a fairyland. At least, that's what she had always thought.

All her dreams would be shattered.

But maybe she can salvage them?

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: yeah soo... I think I have some kind of obsession with this trope. And I have never ever seen any azriel x reader forced marriage fics, so I decided to write one myself. But I could be wrong and there are fics out there that I haven't seen, in which case, please let me know about them. (Also, because we do not know who azzie's father was and if he was a camp Lord, for the sake of this fic, lets pretend that he was, indeed, a camp lord.)

Tw: Forced marriage, none more that I can think of, so please let me know if I need to add anything.

•○🌑○•

Y/n poured the imaginary tea in the cups set on the low table in front of her, talking to Mister Fluffkins about the weather. He was her daughter's husband, or she pretended that he was. Her daughter, Alisa, was her favourite doll, who was going to be married today.

"I hope there was no troubles while on the way here?" She asked as she set down the teacup and turned towards her other toys.

Before Mister Fluffkins could answer though, Y/n's mother walked in, crouching in front of Y/n, smiling.

"What are you doing?"

"I was just asking Mister Fluffkins about his travels today. Do you want some tea?"

"No dear. I just wanted to tell you that a friend of father is coming here today with his son. I want you to try and become his friend, as he has none. Okay?"

"Okay mother." The little girl turned away and settled down opposite her to be son in law, sipping her imaginary tea. Excited that she'll be making a new friend today. Maybe he can play with her. He could be Alisa's father, and they would be one big and happy family.

As little Y/n was busy musing about her new friend, she lost track of time, and soon they had arrived. The door opened once again and her mother stepped inside, Y/n stood. A small boy, probably her age or older, stepped in behind her, his hands clasped together nervously. His eyes flitted around the room, his hair dishevelled and messy. He looked too thin to be healthy.

Y/n mother nudged him forward, and he hesitantly took a step forward. Then another and another.

"I'm Y/n. What is your name?" She asked when he was standing in front of her.

"Az– Azriel."

"Let's be friends." She said, before practically shoving him in the chair next to Mister Fluffkins and pouring him some tea. "It's tea. Drink, you'll like it."

He blinked. "There's nothing there."

"Obviously. We're playing, I can't use real tea."

Her mother had laughed, walking away. It took some time for Azriel to get accustomed to playing with her, but when he did, he enjoyed it, cherishing this rare moment of happiness. And though he was quite odd, saying he had never played anything in his life, Y/n didn't mind.

But then both of their father's stepped in, as if in a hurry. Azriel's father yelled at him to be quick and clasp her hand, and Y/n decided she didn't like this man. He was too loud.

Y/n's father was looking sadly at her when the bad man told him to make haste. They made Y/n and Azriel hold hands, guiding them through it.

"Listen girl, I want you to say I agree to everything he says, understand?" Y/n nodded, afraid of his father. "Now," he began saying to Azriel, "repeat after me. I will marry you, when I see you after we come of age. Say it." Azriel looked scared, but repeated nonetheless. And she mumbled a I agree after him before a pain shot down her left ring finger and she wrenched it from Azriel's grasp, tears pooling in her eyes. At that exact moment, the door slammed open and her mother stumbled in, gasping and clutching at her head.

"No..." She stared at her husband angrily with tears in her eyes.

Y/n didn't understand, but it wasn't as if she could question the adults. Because, even though her father didn't hate her, he didn't like her very much either, hitting her whenever she got too loud. But he wasn't bad, atleast Y/n didn't think so.

Maybe when her older siblings came home from school, she would ask them about it.

•○🌑○•

As she stared at the rain droplets pelting the window of her room, Y/n couldn't stop thinking about that day. It had been almost five centuries since then.

Asking her siblings about it had yielded no information, after all, they were kids too.

But now she knew.

Azriel's father had fame and control over the camp they had once lived in. Her father wanted to be in the good graces of the Lord and also the recently vacated position of the second most powerful person, the camp Lord's second in command. Azriel's father was giving Y/n's father what he wanted in exchange for her marriage to his bastard son.

Who had run away.

But she couldn't fault him for that, knowing what his father was like. She knew Azriel fairly well, considering she met him a few more times after the day they had been promised to each other. The last time they met, he had finally told Y/n that his father kept him in a dungeon. Then he left. They could have been called friends once, but now, Y/n didn't even know if he was alive or rotting somewhere. But, even after all these centuries, Y/n still cares for that tiny, skinny, timid boy with disheveled hair, who would get extremely happy if provided with one small act of kindness.

But she also couldn't stop the tiny kernel of resentment that bloomed in her, because, after he had run away, his father had decided that he no longer wanted to share the power when he wasn't getting anything out of it, kicking their family out of the camp. Her father had gone nearly crazy.

Her sister, Velda, had been in a similar situation as Y/n, having been forced to marry one of the more prized warriors. But she didn't have to make a promise for it, as the warrior wanted to marry her. Y/n had been forced to promise herself to Azriel because his father somehow knew that he couldn't marry Azriel forcefully.

She would have been married too, if not for the mark on the second last finger of her left hand, encircling it like a ring. Every day she woke up with a pot of dead and hope in her stomach. Dread, for if Azriel came to take her, she would be forced to marry him, but if he didn't, she'd have to ensure her father's taunts, as if it was somehow her fault Azriel escaped. Those taunts, which had increased since her mother's death, haunted her at night.

Hope, for if he came, maybe she'll be able to have the life she always dreamed of, and that Azriel would still be the boy she had befriended. And if he didn't, she won't have to leave.

Her father had waited all these years in hopes that Azriel would come to get his bride. But he was tired of waiting, it seemed. And so, today, she and her father they would be visiting Hewn City, in his hopes that the High Lord could find her husband.

•○🌑○•

The Hewn City was hauntingly beautiful. That's all Y/n could describe it as.

They were waiting on the side, her father conversing with someone named Keir while she stared at everything she could get her sights on in awe.

The doors to the court room suddenly opened, everyone falling silent as the High Lord and the Lady, with the little heir in her arms, walked in, with their Inner Circle, as they were called. Y/n kept her eyes downcast, hiding behind her father. Her neck prickles, as if someone was staring at her, but it wasn't something she was unfamiliar with.

Soon, everyone dropped to their knees, rising when the High Lord commanded. After a few people conversed with him, her father stepped forward, her following, still staring at the ground. He bowed, and she curtsied.

But then, when a shiver wound down her spine, she lifted her eyes.

She had to take a step back, her jaw dropping.

Because, staring at her were wide, hazel eyes.

She stared and stared, hoping she was dreaming and hoping that she wasn't. Because those eyes, she would never forget.

Azriel.

Her father bowed, turning away, and she shook her head at Azriel, slightly. He dipped his chin and looked away.

But when Y/n tried to step away, a sharp pain shot through her chest and left hand, a scream tearing from her throat. She fell to her knees, gasping and clutching her hand to her chest. One glance at the dais told her that Azriel had fallen to his knees as well, and everyone was silent, looking between the two of them.

She looked at her father, the confusion in his eyes clearing and a wicked smile blooming on his face.

"Finally."

•○🌑○•

Part 2

[inevitably-ineffable-husbands]

Hii! I love your Sherlock page and now this, you are amazing! I need to let out something about Good omens and I wonder what you think of it.

I haven't really seen anything about this but I wonder about the lack of God's voice in the second series. And yes, we can say that it was an artistic decision by Gaiman not to have God's voice this time as a narrator. Which might be true but we all know that everything is quite intentional and they are really carefully with it. And it's not like they couldn't get Francis McDormand because we did hear her when she was talking with Job.

I was wondering if there is a reason for God not being present. I mean Metatron looked shady as hell (hehe) and I actually can imagine that something big is going on in Heaven and he might have been able to quiet God. I mean Metatron has to be really powerful, he is literally just under God, he might have found a way because we all know he really wanted a war between Hell and Heaven, and he wants that Second coming.

Also, I really need a scene in the last season where Aziraphale and Crowley are talking with God. Aziraphale needs the reassurance that God thinks he is doing the right thing, not Heaven and he is loved by her. The same for Crowley. He probably acts like he doesn't care but I bet he would like to know that he is still loved by God. I think it would be a powerful scene.

What do you think?

Hey Lovely!

SO SORRY for the delay in a reply, it's been a CRAZY week for me. I finally have time to sit and reply to my asks, LOL.

I am with you in the assumption that it was a creative decision, for sure, but I think it also is PURPOSEFUL to amplify just how much god is removed from everything happening. I think it's meant to show just how "broken" Heaven's system is, and to show that no one really knows what god wants anymore. The only time we see god this whole season is then they're muffled to two ethereal creatures, and utterly confuses the only human allowed to hear them. I think it also wasn't important for god to really be there, because it shows that our Husbands aren't attached to anything but themselves.

I dunno, sorry I'm having a hard time explaining myself: I personally feel like it implies that God ISN'T in any sort of control anymore: we see the angels doing whatever they want, the Metatron essentially being a dick and clearly no longer speaking for god, and the demons going about doing whatever they want. And God clearly has no issues with Aziraphale nor Crowley, AND no issue with Gabe and Beez, because if they DID have a problem with it, they would have done something about it.

I suspect god's maybe been usurped by the Metatron. Because in S1, god seemed happy with how everything ended, so something happened between the 5 years since.

I dunno, I'd like to think that the ineffable plan, in the end, is for Azzie and Crowley to be together, LOL. But I know that's not what it is, I'm sure. Probably something like "for all their angels and demons to come together and live with humanity as one".

Anyone have some additional thoughts??

[ultimatecutenesspeaks]

Bunny well that Hélio is he azzy son with his husband zeph who is holding him and our kitty cousin he is completely adorbs bun awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww what a adorable baby kitty and baby hiiiii there I bun it very nice to meet you both you both are just very cute I wanna do jellybelly at both of them bunny I know exatcky how you feel I often do that with Hélio and this adorable baby it hikari me ruki and Zuki niece it so cute and precious bun im know they are so precious my sylveon will love to meet hikari Henlo :D 🥹

*Hikari babbles happily in greeting to the hybrid duo while Hélio simple blinks at them and lets out a meow.*

Cinder: Sooooo cute! Um... is Hélio okay with being pet?

*Asriel and Zeph exchange a hesitant look.*

Zeph: Um... we actually aren't sure. He usually accepts being pet by everyone in the family, but we haven't really brought him around strangers before. You can try holding out your hand and see what happens, though.

Taro: And you guys can hold Hikari if you want. (To Hikari, baby talk) Hey Hiki, these two are our awesome friends! Wanna see them? (To the duo, normal) Be careful.

*Hikari babbles once again as Taro holds her out to Bun, and the baby squeals happily as she accepts it. Cin then holds her hand out to Hélio, who sniffs it curiously before cringing as he takes a step back, earning surprise from Zeph.*

Zeph: Oh my! Y-Your hands are--

Cin: (sucking in air through her teeth) ...Yeah, I know. I'm guessin' he wouldn't wanna be pet by one of these. Here, let me try this.

*Cin then rolls up her sleep to her elbow, where the metal of her prosthetics and her skin meet as she shows her arm to Hélio. The kitten then sniffs it before butting his head against her elbow, earning a soft giggle from her.*

Cin: Awww, he's so soft!

[possumkingluca]

hey look more: "No wonder he cries a lot, you're his best friend" "Is there like a speaker button on this thing" (rock) "you're acting like my mom didn't describe aero as the purple people eater" "i take that as a compliment" "i just want to trick Quentillius into thinking we found the head of vecna then convince him to... try it on" "Why would!!!! He do that!!!!!!!!!" "alok made a fish zombie" "OUR BIOWEAPON :((((" "WOMEN IN S.T.E.M!!!" (referring to a fucking founder dragon) "Quentillius and Azazel have been infected with I'm Gonna Fucking Kill Somebody disease" "if not themselves" "Fish want women, fear fear me" "Bruno Neptune" (my favorite music artist) "To kill a parrotfish" (psychological thriller) "You made us a three course meal of lore and we wanted chicken strips" "You're gon end up as a serial killer and I'm going to be your first victim"

"THERE ARE NO SMILEY FRIES" "I got to flush you guys down the toilet" "Idea: put formaldehyde in quentillius’s drink." *27 on a DC 30 check* (UUUAAAAAGHHHHHHHH) "gonna crucify alok :3" "smad :( " (flumph <3) "how did you pass? Quentillius failing i can believe but you passing? impossible" "the longer this campaign goes on the dumber we get. you're eating our brain cells." "I tried preventing everyone from trying to kill quentillius and then the circus music started and I lost all sympathy" "so... help me find a well?" "he lived in the slop" "booing at quentillius is not enough he needs to d i e" "sorry i got in trouble with my parents last time i lent out embalming fluid so that's a no anyway" "scorpions /negative" "it's not murder if he kills himself" "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" "hedgehog" "NO" "Please don't cyanize the cake" "too late" "azazel should go through a 'be eaten by aero for dinner' arc. just sayin." "no." "I never thought I'd have to live in fear of the possibility of my players abruptly performing waterboarding on steroids on an npc." "Aero looks like they'd take a bite out of drywall, so you're doing something right" "stank druid" "not me adding aero eye lore" "i did not write all those notes just to let the campaign fizzle out before russell gets to exploit them" (please fighter come home from war (work) so the DM can torment me :((( plese) "aero exhibits orange cat behavior" "why does that guy look like Quentillius if he was more of a loser" (azazel) "why are all the fashion designers named after U.S presidents" "quentillius with depression" "that's just azazel" "Child labor laws are just suggestions" "aero's husband??? is cadoras not good enough to have a name anymore???" "Sorry not sorry for lying about the notes" (i am going to commit a criminal offense) "if you're going to call him azzy at least use the proper spelling smh" "Aero wanted to marry Azazel off so that Azazel wouldnt go senile" "do you think alok has evil autism. do you think he hyperfixates on being evil" "Little miss Lemme-eat-ur-appendix" "is that alok" "no" "he looks just as depressed as alok" "death by chandelier is very natural" "NO???" "do you think middle aged is old aged" "practically ancient" "i mean probably because racism" "Don't forget it is fun bullying him. Even if he joins cult because of it." "larine jumpscare" "sopping wet cat of a bard" "the lion has a bad case of middle schooler syndrome" "I don't want him to die a horrible painful death... …I'm still torturing him"

dumb quotes from the strixhaven and now homebrewed after graduation campaign i'm in that i think about a lot with context only when it's necessary (and some from the campaign groupchat and conversations i have had with other members or the DM): "If you don't make a move I'll date him" (the person saying this had a boyfriend.) "Taste the rainbow bitch"

"I BECAME A ROTISSERIE CHICKEN" "FUCK YOU MELENTOR" "I hope the latex gets caught in your throat" "I wish my biological parents ate me" "A necromancer never dies" (right before dying) "I HAVE A PIPE BOMB" "We're going to drag Grayson out of his office by his ankles" (right before finding him tied up in a closet and finding out he has been being tortured for SIX FUCKING MONTHS) "I want to crack Grayson's spine like a glowstick" (Unrelated to previous quote and also completely unprompted) "That is NOT a kobold, that is john from lit 101" "Just pocket change to you guys" (1,000 PLATINUM???) "Go play with your boytoy of a lizard" (awful, GOD AWFUL.) "Stop running away and give me a fair fight" (person saying this literally was incapable of taking damage. I am not exaggerating. Straight up invincible) "YOU LEFT ME IN THE SAND"

"Should've put it in a wig" (zombie) "He's gonna call me a whole swear word :(" "Mr. Alex I don't feel too good" (while becoming a rock) "You'll never amount to anything" (uncalled for)

"Not if i'm fast enough" (frequent) "Stop bullying the blind guy" (FREQUENT) "The seahorse fortnite dances" "WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE A DISEASED MR BEAN" "We need to take away this guy's balls" "You forgot Alex's half shaven beard" "Get out of my house" (frequent) "Slaad jerky" "Teeth chandelier" "Aero works on something with Nora, Alex has a heartwarming moment, Alok.. cuts his hand open, AND RAMPART'S GOING TO WAR." "Friendship ended with KACKLES Now MINA'S CREATURE FROM THE ABYSS is my best friend" "Fuck you" "I'd rather not see that" "azazel kinda hot, hopefully quentillius's type" "🤨" "YOU ARE NOT TAXIDERMYING AN ENTIRE ADULT DRAGON AND PUTTING IT ON MY HOUSE" "Funeral Outfit" "You look drop dead gorgeous" (actual compliment) "Don't patronize me." "We're just discussing how Azazel doesn't have any friends" "OH GODS HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE FROGS" "FOR GRANDMAAAAAAAAAA" "STOP MAKING DRAZHOMIR CRY" (FREQUENT) "...do you think quentillius would care if I trashed his dorm and left a puddle of blood on the carpet?" "YEAH?" "Quenzazel" "you are not supposed to encourage this" "You want to kiss him ON THE LIPS" "Aurora's the only one who won't psychoanalyze me" "I WANT MY FRIENDS BACK" "Is this Rampart's friend?" "NO" "He's fine-" "Oh thank god" "But-" "NO." "Don't eat it" (frequent) "I have interacted with Larine like 4 times and we are best friends" "I almost died saving a man I knew for 5 minutes" "Me and Urzmaktok are out of a job! :D Strixhaven shut down! :D" i will add more. that is a threat.