#azzriel
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greenleaf777 · 1 year ago
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AZRIEL JUST WANTS SEX!
It always make me die laughing when I read that Az only wants Elain for sex…..it just makes no sense when you actually look at the context
First of all, WHY would he go after an already mated female when he could have anyone he wants? He could even have an actual highlord, Helion, if he wanted.
Second of all WHY would he question the cauldron about being Elain’s mate if he just wants sex with her? They haven’t even banged yet and he wants to tie himself to her for eternity just for sex?? Damn, she must give him some sexy bedroom eyes 😂
Third Of all, WHY would he want to be Elain’s mate specifically, someone who is already mated, if he just wants to have any mate in the first place?? Wouldn’t he just look for his own mate?
Why does he want to be Elain’s mate? Cause he LOVES her. Its so damn simple I don’t know why anyone tries to think around it. Its right in front of you for the love of god.
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moonlitstoriess · 2 days ago
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I have a request if it's possible. Could you write a fanfic or a oneshot about Azriel and the reader being a ballerina and also a shadow singer
When Shadows Waltz- Azriel x fem!reader (oneshot)
Summary: Y/N, a ballerina and Shadowsinger, has spent her life balancing grace and darkness. But when whispers of doubt and cruel words make her question her place, she hides her insecurities from Azriel, not wanting to burden him. Yet, he sees everything—and he won’t let her fall. With patience, love, and a bit of humor, he helps her realize that her shadows don’t ruin her dance—they make it unforgettable.
See masterlist
Warnings: angst, fluff in the end, protective az🤭, mentions of insecurities, some bullying
A/N: Thank you for the request! I didn’t know if you wanted angst or fluff so I incorporated both, hope you enjoy it🥰
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The mirrors in the studio reflected everything. Every movement, every misstep. Every flaw.
Y/N stood at the center of the room, her pointe shoes silent against the polished floor. The dim glow of the chandeliers cast long shadows, and hers twisted unnaturally, curling and flickering like smoke. No matter how hard she tried to suppress them, they never truly left her alone.
She exhaled slowly, rolling her shoulders back. Focus.
With practiced precision, she lifted onto pointe, extending her arms in a graceful arc. The motion should have felt effortless, but something was off. Her balance wavered, the weight of unseen eyes pressing against her skin. Not good enough. Not perfect.
Her foot barely faltered, but the mistake rang loud in her mind.
She could still hear the whispers from earlier that day.
“A Shadowsinger dancing ballet? It looks unnatural.”
“She doesn’t belong in a world of elegance.”
“No wonder they only talk about her being Azriel’s mate—what else is she known for?”
Her fingers curled into the fabric of her practice dress. She hated how easily those words found cracks in her armor, how they settled like poison in the back of her mind.
They didn’t matter. They shouldn’t matter.
But they did.
A quiet knock at the door startled her, and before she could gather herself, the very person she didn’t want to see her like this stepped inside.
Azriel.
His shadows slithered in behind him, merging with hers so seamlessly it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. His piercing hazel eyes took her in—her stiff posture, the tension in her hands, the exhaustion she hadn’t even realized was etched into her face.
She tried to smile. “Hey.”
Azriel didn’t return it. He simply tilted his head, studying her with that sharp, all-seeing gaze. Then, softly—so softly it made her chest ache—he asked,
“What’s wrong?”
Y/N forced a small smile, hoping it would be enough to make him drop the subject. “Nothing’s wrong.”
Azriel didn’t move. Didn’t blink. His stare remained steady, unreadable—but she knew better.
He always saw through her.
A slow tilt of his head. “Try again.”
She sighed, crossing her arms. “How can you even tell something’s wrong? You just got here.”
His lips quirked slightly, but the look he gave her was pure come on now. “You’ve been my mate for nearly a year, love. You really think I don’t notice?”
The warmth in his voice curled around her like a soft ribbon, and despite herself, her heart gave a little flutter. Cauldron save me.
It was so stupid—the way he could unravel her with just a few words, how easily his presence melted through her walls. Even now, with his scarred hands tucked into his pockets and his wings resting at his back, he radiated quiet strength. Calm. Steady. Hers.
And yet—
She still couldn’t bring herself to tell him.
So she smiled a little wider, making sure it reached her eyes this time. “I’m fine, really.”
Azriel didn’t believe her. She could tell by the way his shadows curled around his boots, restless. But she wasn’t giving him the chance to push further.
Before he could open his mouth again, she smoothly changed the subject. “I have my audition tomorrow.”
That worked. His head straightened slightly, some of the tension in his shoulders easing. “For the seasonal performance?”
She nodded, feeling something close to excitement creep past her unease. “It’s a huge opportunity, Az. If I get the role, I’ll be one of the principal dancers for the entire winter season. The main performance is the biggest of the year—leaders from all over the place will come to watch. I need to represent our court in the best way possible.” She hesitated, then admitted, “Your family will be there.”
Azriel’s expression softened. “And you want to impress them.”
“I need to impress them.”
His brows pulled together slightly, but before he could argue, she rushed on. “Feyre is an artist, Nesta trained with Cassian and is basically a Valkyrie now—everyone in your family has accomplished something incredible. I want to prove I belong.”
Azriel stepped closer, lifting a hand to cup her jaw. His touch was featherlight, reverent. “You already impress them, Y/N.”
Her breath caught as he leaned in, brushing the softest kiss against her lips. “You’re more than enough.”
The words should have settled in her chest like a soothing balm. But instead, the weight of her insecurities pressed heavier.
She managed a small smile, even as she whispered, “I still want to get the role.”
Azriel exhaled, his thumb brushing over her cheek. “You will.” His voice was quiet, certain. “Trust me, you will.”
And for a fleeting moment, she let herself believe him.
Y/N let herself sink into the warmth of Azriel’s touch for just a moment before pulling away, forcing herself to focus. “I just need everything to go right,” she murmured, mostly to herself.
Azriel tilted his head slightly. “It will.”
She huffed a quiet laugh, shaking her head. “You sound so sure.”
His lips curved, but his eyes held nothing but certainty. “Because I am.”
Cauldron, how was it so easy for him? To have that unwavering belief in her, even when she wasn’t sure she believed in herself?
Azriel reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers, his grip firm yet gentle. “Come,” he said, leading her toward the small bench by the wall. “Sit with me for a bit.”
She sighed but followed, letting him tug her down beside him. He didn’t say anything at first, just ran his thumb in slow circles over her knuckles. The silence was comfortable, but she knew he was waiting—for her to speak, to confess what was really on her mind.
And she wanted to. She really did.
But the words refused to form, stuck somewhere between pride and fear. If she said them out loud, if she told him about the whispers, the doubt clawing at her chest, then it would make it real.
So instead, she leaned her head against his shoulder and whispered, “I just hope I don’t mess it up.”
Azriel’s wings shifted slightly, his shadows curling around them both like a protective cocoon. “You won’t.”
She sighed, not bothering to argue. He’d just contradict her again with that quiet, unshakable confidence.
After a moment, he spoke again, his voice softer this time. “Do you want me to come watch?”
The question made her heart lurch. “You—you’d come to the audition?”
He turned his head, pressing a kiss to the top of her hair. “Of course.”
Something in her chest squeezed painfully, caught between joy and hesitation. “You don’t have to.”
Azriel huffed a quiet laugh. “I want to.” Then, as if sensing her uncertainty, he added, “But only if you want me there.”
She did. She really did. But—
Y/N swallowed. “I think I’ll be too nervous if you watch.”
Azriel didn’t seem offended. If anything, amusement flickered across his face. “You dance in front of hundreds of fae, but I make you nervous?”
She groaned, shoving his arm. “Don’t say it like that.”
He chuckled, pulling her closer. “Fine. I won’t watch. But I’ll be waiting outside.”
Y/N lifted her head, meeting his gaze. “Really?”
Azriel nodded. “Really.” Then, smirking, he added, “Unless you change your mind and want me front and center.”
She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips. “I think I’ll survive without that pressure, thanks.”
Azriel just hummed, clearly unconvinced. But he didn’t push. Instead, he leaned in, brushing his lips over her cheek, his voice a murmur against her skin. “You’re going to be incredible.”
Y/N closed her eyes, soaking in the warmth of him, the quiet reassurance in his touch.
She wanted to believe him.
But deep down, that familiar doubt still lingered, whispering that maybe, just maybe—
She wasn’t enough.
The sun had barely risen, but Y/N had been awake for hours.
The studio floor had long since warmed beneath her relentless movements. Every turn, every extension, every landing had been drilled into perfection—had to be perfect. She refused to stop.
Azriel had been the one to come and go, appearing like clockwork with food in hand, a quiet reminder in his eyes. “Eat,” he’d say. “Sit for a moment.”
She’d obey, just for a second. Just long enough to take a sip of water, a bite of fruit. But her feet would pull her back onto the floor before she even realized it. Again and again.
At first, Azriel had tried. Tried to coax her into resting, tried to make her breathe. He’d leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, watching as she pushed herself past exhaustion. A few times, he’d even taken her hand, pulled her to him, murmured against her ear, “Enough for now.”
She never listened.
Eventually, he had sighed, shaking his head as he stepped in front of her. She barely had a moment to react before his lips found hers—a slow, lingering kiss, warm and full of something dangerous. Something that made her knees weaken more than all the training ever could.
When he pulled back, his eyes were softer, but his voice was firm. “Food is packed for you to take in.” He brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I have some things to take care of, but I’ll be there when you come out of the audition.”
Y/N blinked up at him, caught between nerves and something unbearably sweet. “Promise?”
Azriel exhaled, pressing another kiss to her forehead. “You think anything could keep me away?”
Her heart stuttered, warmth spreading in her chest.
Then, with one last glance—one that said please, don’t run yourself into the ground—he left.
Silence settled over the room, broken only by her own breath.
Two hours later, she was sitting on the floor, hair damp and body strained as she stared into her reflection.
An hour later, the auditions would begin.
That realization sent a fresh wave of nerves crashing over her. With a deep inhale, she shook it off, forcing herself to move.
She needed to clean up, get dressed. She needed to leave.
She grabbed the food Azriel had packed, tucked it under her arm, and stepped out the door.
It was time.
Velaris was bathed in afternoon light, the streets alive with warmth and chatter. But Y/N barely noticed any of it.
Her steps were steady, precise, each movement measured like a dancer counting beats in her head. But inside? Her heart pounded, a nervous rhythm she couldn’t quite shake.
She had walked these streets a thousand times before, had spent her life weaving through Velaris’ twisting paths, but today, everything felt off.
Maybe it was the way her shadows curled around her ankles, clinging like wisps of smoke. Normally, they stayed quiet, hidden. But today? Today, they coiled and flickered in the late afternoon light, shifting uneasily as if they could sense her nerves.
She forced herself to breathe, to smooth her expression into something neutral. Calm. Steady. No one else could hear the thoughts racing through her head.
But they could see her.
She felt the stares before she even registered them. Passing merchants, nobles, fae of all kinds—glancing, double-taking, murmuring behind their hands. Some were subtle about it, a flick of the eyes before looking away. Others… not so much.
She supposed she must’ve made quite the sight.
A ballerina dressed in soft pastels—pink tights, a flowy white wrap skirt, a delicate shrug over her leotard—strolling through the streets, framed by shadows as dark as night.
It was almost comical.
She had heard the whispers before, of course. Had caught snippets of conversation when people thought she wasn’t listening.
A Shadowsinger, really? In ballet?
Shouldn’t she be in Illyrian camps instead?
Those shadows make her look unnatural.
She doesn’t belong on that stage.
She clenched her jaw and kept walking.
Azriel would have torn them apart if he’d been here to hear it. He’d spent months convincing her that none of it mattered, that she belonged just as much as any other dancer.
She wanted to believe him. But with every lingering stare, with every quiet murmur as she passed, doubt curled around her ribs like a vice.
By the time she reached the towering glass doors of the audition hall, her chest was tight, her palms clammy despite the cool breeze.
She exhaled sharply, shook out her hands.
It’s fine. You’re fine.
She pushed open the doors and stepped inside.
The waiting room was already full.
Dancers lined the benches, stretching, warming up, adjusting their satin slippers. The air buzzed with quiet tension—whispers of last-minute corrections, murmured prayers, soft hums of concentration.
The floor-to-ceiling windows bathed everything in golden light, making the polished wooden floors gleam. At the far end of the room, a set of doors led to the main audition space, where the judges were already seated, watching the first few candidates perform.
Y/N barely had time to take it all in before she felt it—the stares.
It was subtle at first, the way conversation dipped when she walked past, the way dancers exchanged looks, eyes flicking from her delicate pastel ensemble to the dark tendrils of shadow trailing at her feet.
She swallowed, lifting her chin.
Just get to the changing rooms.
She weaved through the crowd, passing the line of dancers already dressed in pristine costumes. A few were adjusting their hair into perfect buns, fixing smudged makeup, stretching out their limbs. Others were simply watching her.
She could feel their judgment.
It’s funny, isn’t it? she thought bitterly.
A girl like her—draped in pinks and creams, with ribbons laced up her ankles—moving with the grace of a trained ballerina, while shadows slithered at her feet like something out of a nightmare.
Like she was some contradiction that shouldn’t exist.
She tried to act indifferent. She forced herself to walk like she wasn’t being scrutinized, like the weight of their judgment wasn’t pressing into her spine. But inside, her stomach twisted.
She barely let out a breath when she finally reached the changing rooms, slipping inside.
Alone at last.
She pressed her hands against the counter, staring at her reflection in the large mirror.
Her face was composed, expression calm. But her hands—her fingers trembled against the polished marble.
Her shadows curled tighter around her, as if sensing her unease.
She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply.
Just a few more minutes.
Then it would be time.
Y/N sat with her hands folded neatly in her lap, her posture straight despite the way her stomach twisted in knots.
Dancers came and went, each vanishing through the grand doors at the end of the waiting room before reappearing minutes later—some with relieved smiles, others fighting back tears.
Her turn was coming. Soon.
She tried to focus on steadying her breathing, on keeping her shadows from shifting too visibly around her. They were curling tight at her ankles, slithering up her arms like they, too, could sense her nerves.
And then—
“Are you lost?”
The voice was sweet. Mocking.
Y/N turned, already knowing what she’d find.
A group of three female dancers, all in the same pristine white audition attire, stood together near the mirrored wall. Their leader—a tall, elegant blonde—tilted her head, expression full of exaggerated pity.
Y/N forced a calm smile. “No.”
A few of the other dancers nearby had already started whispering.
The blonde raised a brow, looking her over slowly—lingering on her darkened shadows. “You? Ballet?” She let out a high, amused laugh. “I think you might have the wrong building, sweetheart.”
The other two girls behind her giggled.
Y/N kept her shoulders relaxed, her face carefully neutral. “I’m here for the same reason as you.”
The blonde blinked, as if that was the funniest thing she’d heard all day. Then she let out another sharp laugh. “Oh, darling. No, no—you can’t be.”
Y/N clenched her jaw.
“Oh, don’t look so serious.” The girl smirked. “It’s just… well.” She gestured to Y/N’s shadows, which had curled tight at her feet like wary animals. “You don’t exactly fit, do you?”
A sick feeling churned in Y/N’s gut.
The girl leaned in slightly, voice a conspiratorial whisper. “Did you hit your head? Or do you just have some kind of delusional sickness?”
More laughter. More murmurs from the surrounding dancers.
Y/N’s throat felt tight. Don’t react. Don’t let them see it.
She tried to respond, tried to form a retort—but her mind was suddenly blank.
Her shadows flickered uneasily. The blonde just smiled wider. “Oh, sweetheart,” she said softly, like she was so concerned. “It’s not your fault, really. You just weren’t made for this world.”
Y/N felt her hands clench in her lap, her thoughts growing darker, heavier.
And then—
“Y/N.”
Her head snapped up.
A staff member stood by the grand doors, scanning the room with a clipboard in hand. “You’re up next.”
Her heart stopped.
For a moment, she was frozen in place.
Then—slowly, unsurely—she stood.
She could feel their eyes on her as she walked toward the doors. Could hear the hushed snickers, the barely concealed whispers.
Just as she passed, another girl murmured under her breath, just loud enough for her to hear—
“Maybe she’ll trip and vanish in those shadows.”
Her stomach clenched.
But she didn’t stop. She couldn’t.
She stepped through the doors.
The audition stage was massive.
Golden chandeliers hung high above, their light casting a soft glow over the polished wooden floors. The room stretched wide, with sweeping archways and tall, pristine windows that overlooked Velaris.
And at the very front—seated behind a long, curved table—sat the panel of judges.
Five in total.
Their expressions were unreadable as they observed her, hands folded, quills poised.
Y/N swallowed hard.
The reality of it all hit her at once.
This was it.
Her entire career—her dream—was hinging on the next few minutes.
She forced herself to stand tall, to ignore the way her nerves coiled deep in her stomach.
“Whenever you’re ready,” one of the judges said, voice clipped and professional.
She nodded.
The music began.
For the first few moments, everything was fine.
Her muscles knew the movements. She had drilled them into her body a thousand times over. Her limbs extended with precision, her turns were smooth, her leaps controlled.
But then—
The whispers came back.
Not real, but in her head—echoing, clawing.
You don’t belong here.
Those ugly shadows—
Maybe she’ll trip and vanish—
You just weren’t made for this world.
Her rhythm faltered.
Her mind spiraled.
No, no—focus, keep going—
But the doubts were crushing her, strangling her.
And then—
Her foot landed wrong.
A sharp twist of her ankle.
A gasp.
And she was falling.
Hard.
The music cut out instantly.
For a moment, there was nothing but silence.
Y/N stayed where she was—knees against the polished floor, hands shaking, breath ragged.
She didn’t dare look up.
Didn’t dare face the judges.
But then—
“That will be all.”
The cold, detached voice sliced through the air like a knife.
Her head snapped up, eyes wide. “No—please—”
One of the judges, an older fae male, raised a hand. “There’s no need,” he said, his voice edged with boredom. “We’ve seen what we need to see.”
Her chest tightened. “I—please, I’ve been training for five years—”
Another judge, a stern-looking female, scoffed. “And?”
Y/N’s throat burned.
The older fae leaned forward slightly. “Just because you are the Spymaster’s mate,” he said coolly, “and the High Lord’s sister-in-law, does not mean you own this place.”
The words hit her like a slap.
“No, I—” She swallowed, scrambling to find the right words, to fix this—“I don’t think that, I just—”
“You are not fit for this stage,” another judge interrupted, eyes cold. “You have neither the discipline nor the grace required to perform at this level.”
Her heart shattered.
“We will not be moving you forward.” The older judge’s voice was final.
She couldn’t breathe.
Couldn’t move.
“Thank you for your time,” the female judge added, already looking away. “You may go.”
She had no choice.
Numbly, she stood.
She turned.
And she walked.
The moment she stepped back into the waiting room, the whispers started again.
A few of the dancers gave her long, smug looks.
She kept her head down.
She ignored the snickers, the cruel, whispered comments.
Her hands trembled as she grabbed her bag.
Then she turned and all but ran to the changing rooms.
The second the door shut behind her, she let out a shaky breath.
Her mind was spinning. Her heart ached.
What have I done?
Her fingers curled into fists.
She had ruined everything.
She had humiliated herself in front of the most prestigious judges in the city. She had proven every cruel whisper, every doubting stare right.
Her own hatred curled deep inside her, sharp and suffocating.
And then, a single thought struck her.
Azriel.
He was waiting outside.
Waiting for her with that quiet, steady patience. Waiting for her to walk out with a hopeful smile. And she—she had nothing to give him but failure.
Y/N took a deep, shuddering breath.
Then another.
She had exactly five seconds to fix her face before she walked out of this building.
One. She straightened her spine.
Two. She swallowed down the lump in her throat.
Three. She pulled her shoulders back, forcing her body to relax despite the tremors running through her veins.
Four. She curled her lips into the most dazzling, effortless smile she could manage.
Five. She stepped outside.
The cool evening air brushed against her skin, a sharp contrast to the suffocating weight pressing down on her chest.
And there he was.
Azriel stood by the entrance, his wings tucked neatly behind him, his scarred hands loose at his sides—but his entire body radiated the quiet, lethal stillness of a male always waiting, always watching.
The moment his eyes landed on her, something in them shifted.
His shadows stirred.
She knew he felt it. Knew he sensed something was wrong.
She forced herself to smile wider. “Hey, you.”
Azriel’s gaze flickered over her, his expression betraying nothing—except his shadows, which curled tight around his shoulders like wary sentries.
Then, his voice, low and steady: “Why did you close your side of the bond?”
Her breath hitched.
Shit.
She hadn’t expected him to catch onto that so fast.
She let out a soft laugh, waving a hand dismissively. “Oh, that? I just didn’t want to worry you with my constant overthinking.”
His eyes narrowed the slightest bit.
She pressed on, slipping seamlessly into her usual teasing tone. “You know how my mind gets—I was obsessing over little things before the audition, and I figured you didn’t need to deal with that.”
Azriel didn’t respond right away.
Instead, he watched her.
Watched her too closely.
For a second, she thought he might call her out on it—might push past the weak excuse and demand to know the truth.
But then, with a quiet exhale, he reached for her bag. “Nonsense,” he murmured, effortlessly taking it from her grasp.
She let him, knowing better than to argue.
Then, before she could react, his arms were around her—one hand pressing against her back, the other coming up to cradle the back of her head as he tucked her into him.
Y/N nearly broke.
The warmth of him, the quiet strength in the way he held her—it nearly shattered her.
But she couldn’t let it.
She wouldn’t let it.
So instead, she melted into him, resting her cheek against his chest and breathing in the familiar scent of night-chilled wind and cedar.
Azriel pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his lips lingering for just a second longer than usual. “Promise me you won’t do that again.”
She blinked. “Do what?”
His grip on her tightened. “Close your side of the bond like that.”
Y/N swallowed hard.
“I was ready to break in just to make sure you were safe,” he murmured, his voice quieter now. “Don’t do that to me again, love.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. He can’t know. He can’t know.
When she finally spoke, her voice was light. Playful. “Az, you’re being dramatic.”
His arms didn’t loosen.
She tipped her head back just enough to meet his gaze, mustering up a soft smile. “I’m fine. See? Perfectly fine.”
Azriel studied her.
For a long moment, he said nothing.
Then, after what felt like an eternity, he exhaled through his nose and finally, finally released her—though his hand lingered on the small of her back as they started walking.
They moved in comfortable silence for a bit, the cool night air wrapping around them.
And then—
“So,” Azriel said, his tone light, casual. “How did it go?”
Y/N froze.
Only for a fraction of a second.
But he noticed.
Of course he noticed.
Her heart hammered against her ribs, but she forced her body to remain loose, her expression to remain bright.
Then she laughed, shaking her head as if amused. “Oh, it went great.”
Azriel glanced at her. “Yeah?”
She nodded eagerly. “Yeah. I can’t wait to see the results. They said the decisions will be out in two weeks, so…” She trailed off, shrugging. “Now it’s just a waiting game.”
Azriel was still watching her.
She felt his eyes on her, felt the way his shadows curled subtly closer.
She knew what he was doing—trying to read her body, her breathing, her heartbeat.
So she made sure they all remained steady.
She had years of training in deception. She could fake confidence, fake nonchalance—hell, she could fake a damn performance if needed.
And right now, she needed Azriel to believe her.
Because if he didn’t—if he so much as suspected—
Az hummed. “So they didn’t give any immediate feedback?”
She shook her head. “Nope. Just the usual ‘thank you for your time, we’ll be in touch.’”
His brows furrowed slightly. “That’s standard?”
“Very,” she assured him.
Another hum. “And you feel good about it?”
She beamed. “I do.”
Azriel didn’t speak for a long moment.
Y/N’s stomach clenched.
Please let this work. Please believe me.
Finally—
“Well,” he said, his voice softer now. “Then I guess we wait.”
She let out a small breath of relief, nodding.
Azriel gave her a sidelong glance. “But just so you know…”
She raised a brow. “Hmm?”
His free hand reached for hers, fingers threading together effortlessly.
“I don’t need to hear the results to already be proud of you.”
Her throat tightened.
Her nails dug into her palm.
She forced herself to smile. “You’re sweet.”
Azriel only squeezed her hand. “You’re mine.”
For a split second, the weight in her chest almost lifted.
But then she remembered—
The failure.
The fall.
The cold, dismissive words of the judges.
You are not fit for this stage.
And just like that, the crushing guilt came surging back.
So Y/N just held onto his hand a little tighter.
And she kept smiling.
Azriel insisted on making dinner, saying she should relax after the audition.
And so here he was, moving around the kitchen like it was his second home, the rhythmic chopping of vegetables mingling with the sizzle of something cooking in the pan. Y/N sat at the table, silently watching him, trying her best to keep her expression neutral. She didn’t want him to see through the mask she was wearing, didn’t want him to know how much she was falling apart on the inside.
“You’re being quiet,” Azriel said, not looking up from his work.
Y/N smiled tightly. “Just tired.”
He paused, his gaze flickering to her from over his shoulder. She caught the way his brow furrowed slightly, but he didn’t say anything—just went back to what he was doing, humming softly as he worked.
Azriel was always calm, always steady, and she found it both soothing and maddening. He could sense things—things she wasn’t always ready to confront—and she hated how well he knew her. But tonight, she wouldn’t let him see. She couldn’t.
She reached for her glass of water, her hand trembling just slightly. She was sure he’d notice. But he didn’t. He was focused on the dinner, and for a moment, she let herself relax into the normalcy of the moment, the small relief of not having to pretend she was somewhere else, someone else.
When he finally brought dinner to the table, Y/N forced herself to smile and thank him. She even complimented him on the food, but she could feel him watching her, his eyes scanning her every move, trying to figure out what was wrong.
Azriel didn’t ask any questions yet, but Y/N could sense the storm brewing behind his calm façade. He always knew when she wasn’t okay.
They ate in silence for a few moments, the clink of silverware the only sound between them. Her mind was elsewhere, far from the meal in front of her, as the words from her audition echoed through her thoughts.
“You’ve been quiet all evening,” Azriel said again, this time his voice much softer.
Y/N blinked and met his gaze. He was studying her, his brow slightly furrowed, lips pressed into a thin line. He was worried—she could feel it, even if he didn’t say the words out loud.
“I’m just thinking,” she replied, trying to keep the tremor out of her voice.
“About the audition?” he asked, his voice casual but with an undercurrent of concern.
Y/N hesitated. Should she lie? Pretend that everything was fine? Or should she admit it—admit how awful it had gone?
But before she could answer, he reached across the table, his hand covering hers. His thumb brushed along her skin, warm and reassuring.
“You don’t have to pretend with me,” he said quietly.
She sucked in a breath, her heart pounding in her chest. The warmth of his hand almost made her break, almost made her say it all, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
“I’m fine, Azriel,” she said, her voice soft but firm. “Really.”
He didn’t believe her, she could see it in his eyes, but he didn’t push. Not yet.
He nodded slowly, his eyes not leaving hers. “If you say so.”
But there was an edge in his tone—one that made her heart sink a little further.
Dinner passed quietly after that. They talked about trivial things, Azriel asking her about her plans for the next few days, but it all felt distant to her. As if the words were just background noise, and her mind was somewhere else, drowning in everything she was trying to bury.
Finally, when the meal was over, Azriel cleared the table, his movements sharp, precise. Y/N stayed seated, her fingers picking at the edge of her napkin, twisting it nervously.
“You know,” he said, his back still to her as he loaded dishes into the sink, “you don’t have to keep things from me.”
Y/N’s chest tightened. She looked down at her hands, trying to keep her face composed.
“I’m not keeping anything from you,” she said, her voice a little too high.
Azriel paused, his back still turned, but his posture was stiff now. “You’re lying.”
Y/N bit her lip, her heart thudding in her chest. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t break. Not in front of him. Not when he had already given her everything—his trust, his heart. She couldn’t disappoint him.
“Azriel,” she started, her voice trembling just slightly. “Please, just… don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I swear.”
He turned to face her, his expression unreadable, but his eyes… they were full of that quiet, relentless concern that always seemed to follow her.
“You don’t have to be strong all the time, Y/N.” His voice was almost a whisper, like he was afraid to push her too far. “Not with me.”
For a heartbeat, they just stared at each other, the space between them charged with unsaid words.
Finally, Y/N forced a smile—one that she hoped was convincing enough to fool him. “I know,” she said softly. “But right now, I just need a little time, okay?”
Azriel didn’t respond at first. He studied her for a long moment, as if trying to decide whether or not he should press her further. But then, with a soft sigh, he nodded.
“I’m here when you’re ready to talk,” he said quietly.
Y/N smiled again, though this time it felt more like a mask than anything real.
“I know.”
But inside, the walls she’d spent so long building were crumbling, piece by piece, and no matter how hard she tried to hold them up, she knew it wouldn’t be much longer before they all came down.
She just hoped Azriel wouldn’t be the one to see it happen.
Not yet.
Not while she was still pretending.
The next evening, when Azriel came home, he was expecting nothing more than the usual quiet, the calm of his home and his bondmate waiting for him. What he hadn’t expected was to find Y/N sitting on the couch, her posture rigid, her eyes staring blankly at the wall.
His heart immediately sank at the sight. Something was off—he could feel it in his chest, that strange, unsettling tightness that always came when Y/N was hurting. He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him softly, not wanting to startle her.
“Y/N?” His voice was tentative, but there was an underlying current of concern.
She didn’t respond right away, and the silence stretched between them like a fragile thread. He walked closer, his eyes scanning her face. She looked… exhausted, drained, as if the weight of the world was pressing down on her. He crouched beside her, tilting his head to catch her eyes.
“Love, are you okay?” he asked softly.
Y/N blinked and finally turned her gaze to him. There was something in her eyes—something that made him take an instinctive step back.
“I’m fine,” she said, the words too quick, too rehearsed.
Azriel studied her for a moment longer before sitting down next to her, his tone shifting, more serious. “You don’t have to lie to me, Y/N. What’s going on?”
She didn’t meet his eyes again, her gaze dropping to her hands, folded neatly in her lap. The stillness in her was unnatural, and the shadows around them seemed to pulse with tension. Azriel’s brows furrowed as he let out a quiet sigh, his instincts kicking in.
He didn’t press her at first—he’d learned by now to give her space—but the questions came slowly, each one a little heavier than the last. “How was your day?”
“Fine.” Her voice cracked slightly, but she recovered quickly.
“Did you think about the results?”
“Not really, as I said the audition went well” she answered too quickly, her voice tight.
Azriel paused, his eyes narrowing slightly. She was hiding something, and the silence between them was thick with the knowledge that he wouldn’t be satisfied until he got the truth. “Really?”
She nodded, but her breath hitched ever so slightly, the only sign that something was wrong.
Azriel’s gaze softened, but his suspicion grew, and it was in that moment, when the quiet stretched on just a little too long, that the final thread snapped. He couldn’t hold back anymore. He had to know. He had to confront whatever this was.
He leaned in slightly, his voice hardening with a cold edge. “That’s why you tripped and fell during your audition yesterday?”
Y/N froze, her eyes widening, her body stiffening. The breath in her lungs caught. She hadn’t expected him to know that. Hadn’t expected him to have seen through the lies she’d told herself, the façade she’d built to protect herself.
“How do you know that?” Her voice was small, trembling with the weight of the question.
Azriel’s gaze darkened, his anger simmering just below the surface. He didn’t let her answer before he spoke again. “I knew something was up the moment you stepped out of those doors. I couldn’t just sit around pondering what was wrong with you. My shadows did their job well and brought me all I needed to know.”
Y/N’s mouth fell open in disbelief. “From the… the start?”
Azriel’s jaw clenched, his fists tightening in barely contained rage. “Yes. From the moment those bastards bullied you.” His words were venomous, and Y/N could see the raw anger in his eyes. “I know exactly what they said. The venom they spilled at you…” His voice trailed off, trembling with rage.
Y/N stood up abruptly, her hands shaking. “You had no right!” she exclaimed, her voice rising in anger and desperation.
Azriel stood, his body tense with rage, his eyes dark as shadows swirled around him. “No right?” He took a step forward, his voice rising with every word, a dangerous edge creeping in. “NO RIGHT?! Those bastards were bullying you, Y/N, and you didn’t say a thing?! You didn’t tell me what they said, didn’t let me help you—didn’t let me protect you?”
Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, her shoulders shaking. Her voice cracked, the raw emotion spilling out in a flood of hurt and frustration. “I couldn’t, Azriel! I couldn’t—don’t you get it? I couldn’t bring myself to tell you! I’ve been… I’ve been hiding this from you because I didn’t want to burden you. I didn’t want to be weak. I didn’t want to show you how broken I am. How useless I am…”
She stumbled backward, shaking her head in a frantic movement, her chest tight as she gasped for breath. “I’m just… I’m just not good enough! I’m not strong enough! I fail, every time. I failed at the audition, Azriel! I’m never going to be good enough for this world, for you! Don't you see the stares? Hear the whispers? No one thinks I'm worthy enough, no one..."
Her words came in a rush, all the broken pieces of herself spilling out in one chaotic moment. “The shadows—the way they looked at me, the way they whispered behind my back. They were right, Azriel. They were right about me. I’m nothing, I’m just…” She choked on her words, her knees buckling as she collapsed onto the couch again, her face buried in her hands.
Azriel’s heart clenched painfully in his chest as he stepped forward, his anger now replaced with an aching sadness. His voice was gentle but firm as he knelt beside her, reaching out to take her trembling hands in his. “Don’t you ever say that about yourself. You hear me? Don’t you ever say that again.”
Y/N shook her head violently, her tears pouring freely now. “I’ve failed so many times, Azriel. Every time I try, I trip, I fall, I let everyone down. The shadows—they don’t even care about me. They—”
Azriel grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at him, his eyes filled with a depth of emotion she hadn’t seen before. His voice was a low, raw growl. “They were wrong. Every damn thing they said was wrong. You are good enough. You are strong enough. And I’ll be damned if I let you talk about yourself like this again.”
Y/N gasped, her heart pounding in her chest. Her lips trembled as she tried to speak, but all that came out was a broken sob.
Azriel’s jaw clenched, his gaze searching hers, desperation in his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you trust me?”
She pulled away from him, her hands shaking as she wiped at her tears. “Because I couldn’t bear the thought of you seeing me like this. Of you seeing how weak I am. I thought I could handle it, that I could be enough on my own, but I’m not. I’m not…”
Azriel’s gaze softened, and he cupped her face in his hands, his thumb brushing over the tear tracks on her cheeks. His voice was soft but unwavering. “You are enough, Y/N. Don’t ever believe otherwise. You are stronger than anyone I know, and I’m so damn proud of you. Don’t you dare let anyone tell you otherwise.”
Her sobs subsided, but the rawness of her insecurities still lingered between them, like an invisible barrier. Azriel leaned forward, his voice low but firm. “Names.”
Y/N shook her head, her breath coming in ragged gasps. “Please, Azriel. Don’t do this.”
“I already know who they are,” he replied, his voice calm but insistent. “But I need to hear you say it. Confirm it. Please.”
She hesitated, then, with great reluctance, she whispered the names of some of those she knew of who had bullied her previously, each one a dagger to her heart.
Azriel nodded, his face unreadable as he absorbed the information. When she finished, he reached for her, pulling her into his arms once more. She let herself sink into him, her heart breaking, her trust growing just a little bit stronger with each passing moment.
“I won’t let them get away with this,” he whispered fiercely into her hair, his voice promising more than words could say. “But I need you to promise me something.”
“What?” she whispered back, barely able to speak through the tears.
He pulled back, cupping her face, his expression firm. “Swear to me that you won’t hide anything from me again. No more lies, no more keeping things from me. Keep the bond open, always. Promise me, Y/N.”
Her eyes met his, a flicker of hesitation passing through her, but in the end, she nodded. “I promise.”
Azriel’s face softened, but the resolve in his eyes remained. “And don’t you ever doubt yourself again,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against hers. “You’re worth everything, Y/N. Don’t you ever forget that.”
As the two of them stood there, lost in their embrace, something shifted between them. The pain, the secrets, the walls—they weren’t gone, but they were no longer insurmountable. And for the first time in a long time, Y/N allowed herself to believe that maybe, just maybe, she was enough.
The days that followed the confrontation were quieter, more contemplative, but no less intense. Y/N struggled with her shadows, each day finding new cracks in her confidence, but each day, Azriel stood by her, watching in the background, patiently waiting for her to let him in.
It started with the small moments, those subtle acts of care that made her feel seen without being smothered. She had always been strong, had always prided herself on standing on her own, but now, after everything, the thought of dancing again seemed like an insurmountable mountain. The audition failure had knocked her harder than she’d let on. And the cruel words, the judgment she’d faced, were still echoing in her mind. She wasn’t sure if she could go back to the barre, could go back to the thing that had once been her escape.
But Azriel wouldn’t let her hide from it.
“You don’t have to do this all at once,” he’d say quietly, stepping into the room when he sensed she was lost in the shadows of her mind, the world outside muted in her silence. “Take it slow. But don’t quit. Don’t let them win.”
Y/N would look at him with that guarded expression, not wanting to admit how much she wanted to run. Not wanting to show him how weak she felt.
But he was patient. He’d never push too hard, never rush her into something she wasn’t ready for. Instead, he’d talk to her about anything else—about the weather, about his training, about the little things that made her smile—until, gradually, the conversation would shift, and the quiet moments would fill the space between them.
Then one day, when she was too tired to pretend she wasn’t aching, he sat across from her as she wrapped her shoes.
“You still want to do this,” Azriel said quietly, watching her with a gaze that spoke volumes. “Don’t hide from it.”
Y/N didn’t look up. “I don’t know if I can,” she whispered.
Azriel stood, moving closer without a word. He didn’t touch her, didn’t crowd her space, but his presence was soothing, a gentle reminder that she wasn’t alone in this. His shadows, ever loyal to him, surrounded her, their warmth seeping into her own. “You can,” he replied simply, his voice carrying that deep, unwavering certainty that made her chest tighten.
His words weren’t demanding, weren’t pressuring. It was more of an invitation.
Slowly, Y/N laced her shoes, her hands trembling just slightly, but she didn’t stop. She couldn’t. Not with him standing there, not with the strength in his eyes watching her like she was the only thing that mattered.
“Let me help you,” Azriel said, his tone low, intimate. “Let me help you heal, one step at a time.”
She didn’t answer immediately, but she didn’t need to. His quiet persistence was enough, and it settled into her bones, wrapping around her like a familiar cloak.
And so, the days passed. Each one a little easier than the last. Azriel’s presence was constant—he didn’t force her, didn’t push her, but his quiet admiration, his praise when she succeeded, built her back up in ways words alone couldn’t. Every small improvement, every hesitant movement, was a victory in his eyes.
Whenever she danced, whenever she felt the weight of doubt try to settle in, she’d sense his presence in the room. He was always there, hidden in the shadows, watching, waiting. His shadows moved with hers, always in sync, always intertwined in a dance of their own, a silent exchange of trust and understanding.
His admiration for her wasn’t in loud declarations or grand gestures. It was in the little things. In the way his shadows would curl around her when she hesitated, steadying her when she almost fell. In the way his eyes softened every time she let herself lose control, the way he made sure she always felt seen, even when she thought no one was watching.
One evening, after another failed attempt at perfecting a pirouette, Y/N huffed in frustration, stepping back from the barre. Her muscles ached, her body exhausted from the constant battle to get back to where she once was.
Azriel didn’t speak right away. Instead, he walked up to her, his gaze unwavering. He was always watching, always noticing.
“You know,” he began, his voice low, teasing just slightly, “your shadows were in perfect sync with mine tonight.” He smirked, his eyes glinting with a playful edge. “It’s almost like they know what you’re capable of, even if you don’t.”
Y/N looked up at him, her breath caught in her chest. She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out.
“I’ve been watching you,” he continued, his voice softer now, more earnest. “You have something no one else does, Y/N. Your strength—your heart—it’s what makes you beautiful, and it’s what makes you powerful. And every time you step back into that studio, you show me a little more of who you are.”
His words were simple, but they struck her in ways she couldn’t explain. She felt her heart pound in her chest, the raw emotion of his praise and support slowly melting away the remnants of the fear and doubt that had clouded her for so long.
Y/N took a deep breath and nodded, her gaze meeting his, no longer afraid to hold it. “I’ll try again,” she said softly.
Azriel’s smile was small but full of pride. He stepped back, his shadows still lingering around her. “I know you will. And when you do, I’ll be here.”
Every step she took, every movement she made, she could feel his presence at her side, not as a crutch but as the support she didn’t know she needed. And for the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel so alone in the dance.
The healing was slow, but it was real. Each moment, each word, each look from Azriel was a step toward rebuilding the confidence she had lost. She wasn’t just getting back to where she was—she was becoming something more. Something stronger. Something she didn’t think was possible. And with Azriel by her side, she knew that, no matter what came next, she wasn’t going to give up. Not anymore.
Azriel paced through the streets of Velaris, each step heavy with anger. His thoughts churned, his mind unwilling to leave the image of Y/N from earlier that morning. She had smiled, but it hadn't reached her eyes. She was trying to hide it again, pretending like everything was fine when it was anything but.
His shadows swirled around him, agitated by his own tension. They could feel his fury, his frustration, and his desperate need to protect her, even if she didn't fully understand it herself.
She had tried to hide it from him. She thought he didn't know about the insults— the cruel words those judges had spat at her.
She thought he couldn't see it in her eyes, in the way she held herself, the way she moved now as if she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
And it made him seethe with rage.
The anger that had been simmering inside him ever since she had confided in him about what happened during the audition was reaching a boiling point. He had promised her. He had sworn not to act. But how the hell was he supposed to keep that promise when the world-these people-had done this to her?
He clenched his fists, feeling the ache in his bones, the frustration gnawing at him. The female he cared about, the one he loved, the one he wanted to see succeed, was broken in ways that no one could understand. No one except him.
And all he wanted to do was rip apart the world that had done this to her.
He felt the weight of his own limitations pressing down on him. He was a warrior, a spymaster-he was trained to eliminate threats, to take down anyone who stood in his way. But this... this was different. This wasn't some battle he could fight on a battlefield. It was a war waged on the heart, and it made him feel helpless, more than he had ever felt before.
He was so fucking angry. Angry at them for humiliating her. Angry at himself for not noticing sooner. Angry that she thought she could bear this burden alone, hiding it from him.
But that was going to change. He couldn't keep his promise. Not when he knew what they had done. Not when he knew the damage they'd caused. He could feel it in every fiber of his being-this deep, primal need to protect her from everything that wanted to break her down. He was done standing by.
Done pretending that he didn't see the cracks in her.
Done watching her hide from the truth.
He was going to make them pay. Every last one of them.
The judges' gathering was held in the home of one of the higher-ranking members, a large, lavish place that screamed of power and authority. As soon as Azriel winnowed himself in, the room fell silent. His presence was enough to make everyone freeze. He could feel their eyes on him, the shock radiating from their faces. They weren't expecting him, weren't prepared for someone like him to walk in.
They had no idea what they were dealing with.
eyes cutting through the air like a blade. He didn't say a word, his silence hanging heavy in the room, suffocating. He could feel his shadows coiling tighter around him, his anger leaking into the atmosphere like a dangerous storm.
"Spymaster," one of them said, his voice barely a whisper, fear seeping through.
Azriel didn't respond. He took a step forward, the air growing colder with every inch he moved. "You know why I'm here," he said, his voice low, dangerous, a growl rumbling in his chest.
The head judge, a man whose face Azriel recognized all too well from the reports, shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "I don't-"
"You don't?" Azriel interrupted, his voice laced with venom. "You don't remember insulting her? Belittling her? Telling her she wasn't good enough?”
The room went silent, the judges exchanging nervous glances. None of them dared to speak. They all knew exactly who he was talking about. They all knew exactly who he meant.
"Y/N," Azriel spat the name like it was poison, but the force of it sent a shiver down their spines. "You remember her, don't you?"
They swallowed hard, eyes darting around as if trying to find an escape. But there was no escape. Not from him.
"You made her feel like she wasn't worthy.
Like she wasn't good enough to be there," Azriel continued, his voice rising with each word. "You made her doubt herself. And I swear to the gods, if I hear any more of that bullshit from you, you won't live to regret it. If you ever so much as think about doing that to her again, I will make sure you regret it with every breath you take."
The judges were visibly shaken now, the threat clear in Azriel’s voice, but still, they tried to deny it. “We— We were just doing our job,” one of them stammered.
Azriel’s cold smile made the hairs on the back of their necks stand on end. “Your job? Your job was to make her feel small? Your job was to crush her spirit? Tell me, what part of that is ‘just doing your job’?”
One of the judges tried to stand up, but Azriel was faster. In a heartbeat, he grabbed him by the throat, lifting him off the ground. “You’re going to listen to me very carefully, and you’re going to do exactly what I say,” Azriel growled, his voice dripping with menace. “You’re going to redo the audition. Only for her. You’re going to send a letter, and you’re going to call her back here. And when she walks through that door, you’re going to praise her performance. You’re going to tell her she has what it takes. You’re going to give her the chance she deserves.”
The man was gasping for breath, his eyes wide with panic as he choked on his words. “Y-yes… yes, we’ll do it,” he croaked, but Azriel wasn’t done yet.
“You better,” Azriel hissed, tightening his grip just enough to send the message. “And if you don’t… I will come for every one of you. I’ll start with your families. Your children. Your wives. I’ll make sure every single person in this room knows exactly what it means to cross me.”
The man whimpered, his hands clawing at Azriel’s wrist in a futile attempt to break free. “We… we’ll do it. Just let me go…”
Azriel’s eyes darkened, his expression chilling. He released the man, letting him crumple to the floor, gasping for air. He turned to the others. “Do you all understand?”
They nodded, fear and desperation written across their faces.
Azriel’s gaze swept over them one last time, making sure they understood just how close they had come to losing everything. “If any of you try to play this off as something else, if you try to twist the truth, I will come back. And next time, I won’t be as merciful.”
He turned, leaving them in the silence of his threat. As he stepped out of the house, his shadows coiled around him, a dark presence that was both comforting and deadly.
He had kept his promise to Y/N. For now. But Azriel knew there was no stopping the fury that had been unleashed. He would protect her. He would always protect her. And anyone who tried to hurt her would regret it—deeply.
Feyre’s studio—her space in Velaris—was warm, filled with the scent of fresh paint and the faintest trace of lavender from the candles she had lit. Sunlight streamed through the wide windows, casting a golden glow over the half-finished paintings scattered across the room. It was peaceful. A quiet retreat from the weight of the world.
Y/N ran her fingers over the rim of a cup of tea, listening as Feyre hummed while mixing colors on her palette. They had been talking about nothing in particular—just idle chatter about a new piece Feyre was working on, how the city had been lately, and Y/N’s attempts to distract herself from the gnawing disappointment still lingering in her chest.
She had been getting better. She had been trying to move on from the humiliation of that audition. Feyre, as always, had been patient and kind, giving her space to talk but never pressing when she didn’t want to.
Y/N was about to respond to something Feyre said when the door swung open, and a familiar, commanding presence filled the room.
Azriel.
Her heart skipped, a warmth blooming in her chest the second their eyes met.
“High Lady,” he greeted Feyre smoothly, giving a respectful nod.
And, Cauldron boil her, Y/N knew she was hopelessly in love with this male the moment his expression shifted. The moment that cold, unreadable mask softened as his gaze found hers.
She went all mushy, as Feyre had put it before, whenever he did that. She hated how accurate it was.
“Az,” she breathed, already moving toward him before she could think twice about it.
He caught her the second she was within reach, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her into his chest. Y/N melted into him, pressing her face into his shoulder, inhaling the familiar scent of night-chilled wind and cedar.
Home.
She felt his lips press a kiss to the top of her head before he pulled back slightly, his hazel eyes warm with something unreadable. “I missed you.”
A smile curled on her lips. “Where were you all day?”
Azriel hummed, running a hand down her back as he gave a nonchalant answer. “Handling some things.”
“Secret spymaster things?” she teased, tilting her head up at him.
His lips twitched, but he didn’t confirm or deny it. Instead, he leaned down, brushing his nose against hers before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “You didn’t need to miss me. I’m always here.”
Y/N sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck, enjoying the quiet moment of just them. “Sap.”
He chuckled, pressing another lingering kiss against her temple. “Only for you.”
Feyre, being the saint that she was, took that as her cue to excuse herself. “I’ll just—give you two a moment,” she muttered, already heading toward the back of the room.
Y/N barely acknowledged her leaving. She was too busy soaking in the rare gentleness of the male before her.
But then—
A hesitant voice called out from the hallway. “Uh…Az?”
Feyre had just returned, but she wasn’t looking at them. She was looking past them, toward the entrance of the studio, her brows raised in confusion. “Did you bring… all those females into my hallway?”
Y/N blinked, pulling away slightly from Azriel’s hold.
Feyre continued, looking increasingly concerned. “I mean, I don’t want to sound judgy, but they’re bound in your shadows. And there are like… fifteen of them.”
Y/N froze.
She turned fully, stepping out of Azriel’s embrace to look at him properly. “What?”
Azriel sighed. Not in regret. Not in guilt. But in the sort of way that said, I knew this was coming.
And then, he turned to her with a small, knowing smile. “Yes.”
Y/N’s stomach dropped.
Azriel took her hands, his thumbs running over her knuckles. “And they will all apologize.” His voice lowered, his lips brushing against her forehead. “They will beg on their knees for your forgiveness.”
Feyre choked. “Forgiveness? What—what the hell is going on?”
Azriel, ever so casually, replied, “Nothing you need to worry about.”
Y/N’s heart hammered in her chest. “Az,” she whispered, her voice barely audible, shaking her head. “No. Please.”
His hands cupped her face, his thumbs tilting her chin up as he leaned in, pressing another soft, deliberate kiss against her lips. It wasn’t hurried. It wasn’t desperate. It was firm. Resolute.
When he pulled back, his hazel eyes burned with unwavering determination. “No,” he murmured against her lips. “You need this.”
Y/N’s breath caught.
Azriel turned to Feyre, his voice returning to its usual icy calm. “Stay here.”
Then, without another word, he led Y/N to the hallway.
And there they were.
Fifteen females, all bound by thick, writhing shadows, their wrists locked together, their ankles bound. Some of them were trembling, silent tears streaking their faces. Others looked frozen in fear, their lips parted, as if they wanted to speak but couldn’t.
Y/N could barely breathe.
Azriel didn’t hesitate. His shadows curled tighter around the females as he spoke, his voice dark, merciless.
“Now,” he said, loudly enough for everyone to hear. “Get in line.”
The shadows obeyed, shifting, forcing them into a single row.
Azriel stepped forward, his wings partially flaring as a cruel smirk played at his lips.
“One by one,” he drawled, “each of you will take turns begging for my mate’s forgiveness.”
Y/N stared at him, shock rippling through her entire body.
And she had no idea what to say.
The air was suffocating.
Y/N stood frozen as the first female, the moment Azriel’s shadows slithered away from her wrists, collapsed to her knees in front of her.
The thud of her body hitting the marble floor echoed through the hallway.
“I—I’m sorry,” the female gasped, tears streaming down her face, her voice breaking with desperation. “Please—please, I take it back. I take it all back.”
Y/N’s breath caught. Her fingers twitched at her sides, her gut instinct screaming at her to take a step back, to shake her head, to tell her that it was fine—
Azriel’s hand came to rest on her forearm, a quiet, grounding touch.
She turned to him, her wide eyes meeting his. His expression was unreadable, his jaw set, his wings tucked behind him like a warrior standing guard. A silent message passed between them.
Do not give in. Do not let them escape the weight of what they did.
And maybe—maybe he was right.
Maybe these people, these females who had mocked her, who had shamed her, who had torn apart something she had poured her entire soul into—maybe they should feel this. Maybe they should know what it was like to have the world force you onto your knees, to feel helpless, to feel humiliated.
So she swallowed hard, ignored the burn in her throat, and slowly, slowly, she gave the smallest nod.
And then the next female fell.
Then the next.
And the next.
One by one, they dropped before her, sobbing, stammering out apologies that all blurred together.
We didn’t mean it. We were just talking. Please, please, I swear, we didn’t think— Forgive me, I was wrong, I was wrong!
Y/N watched, her fingers trembling, as they all crumbled. As they begged.
The last one, the one who had humiliated her the worst, remained standing.
Azriel’s shadows didn’t let her go.
Her lips were pressed into a thin line, her shoulders shaking as she forced herself to meet Y/N’s gaze. Unlike the others, she wasn’t crying.
But she was afraid.
And Azriel?
He smirked.
His voice was low, a whisper of lethal amusement. “Oh? Nothing to say?”
The female’s jaw clenched. She was shaking, her hands curled into fists at her sides. Y/N could see the war raging behind her eyes—her pride battling with the absolute terror of what he would do to her if she didn’t submit.
Azriel stepped forward. His movements were slow, calculated, the air around them darkening as his shadows curled along the floor like ink spreading through water.
“I remember you,” he murmured, tilting his head as if studying prey caught in a snare. “You had so much to say that day. So many things to mock, so many insults to throw.”
His smirk sharpened.
“Say them now.”
The female visibly swallowed. “I—”
She didn’t get to finish.
Azriel was suddenly inches from her, his hand gripping her chin with a deceptively gentle hold. His wings flared slightly, his breath a ghost of a whisper against her skin.
“No?” he purred, mock surprise lacing his tone. “Why not? Where is that sharp tongue of yours now?”
The female’s body trembled, her knees visibly weakening, but she remained standing.
Azriel’s fingers pressed in just a fraction tighter, forcing her to look at him. “Do you know what happens to people who insult what belongs to me?”
Y/N shivered at the quiet, lethal promise in his voice.
The female finally cracked. A soft whimper escaped her lips.
And then—Azriel’s shadows dropped her.
She hit the floor with a painful gasp, and before Y/N could react, she was crawling forward, her hands gripping the fabric of Y/N’s dress as she bowed before her.
“I—I was wrong,” the female choked out. “I was so wrong. Please. Please, forgive me.”
Y/N could only stare.
Azriel stood behind her, looming like a shadowed god. His voice was pure ice as he spoke.
“Beg louder.”
The female’s body trembled violently as she clutched Y/N’s dress, her fingers digging into the fabric like it was the only thing keeping her upright.
“Please,” she choked out, her voice raw. “I—I was wrong, I—”
Azriel’s cold, deadly voice cut through the air like a blade.
"Louder."
The female flinched, her breath hitching. Y/N’s heart pounded as she stared down at the woman who had torn her apart just days ago, who had laughed at her, who had made her feel like she was nothing.
Now, that same woman was crawling at her feet.
Y/N’s hands trembled at her sides. This—this was too much. This wasn’t her. She didn’t need this.
But hadn’t she dreamed of this moment?
Hadn’t she imagined looking into their faces, imagined hearing them admit what they had done? That they had crushedher? Hadn’t she wanted this?
A twisted part of her, buried deep inside, relished it.
Not for the power.
Not for revenge.
But because for once—for once—she wasn’t the one who had to bend.
She wasn’t the one forced to apologize for simply existing.
Azriel moved beside her, his warmth grounding her in the storm of emotions raging inside her. His wings cast a shadow over them both as he crouched, his voice nothing but a whisper laced with deadly amusement.
"I told you to beg louder."
The female sobbed. “Please! I was wrong! I—” Her voice cracked as she practically collapsed lower, pressing her forehead to the floor at Y/N’s feet. “I was cruel. I am the worthless one, not you! I take it back! I take all my words back! I—I didn’t mean it. I swear. I swear, I didn’t mean it—”
Y/N inhaled sharply.
Didn’t mean it?
No. That was a lie.
They meant it.
They had enjoyed it.
They had looked her in the eye and mocked the thing she loved most, had seen her hurt and laughed.
And now?
Now they were just scared.
They weren’t sorry for what they did.
They were sorry that Azriel had made them face it.
The realization hit her like a crashing wave, stealing the breath from her lungs.
She turned to him, her fingers instinctively reaching for his.
He was already watching her.
His hazel eyes softened—not with pity, but with understanding.
And that was when she realized—
This wasn’t just about making them beg. This was about giving her the choice. The power had always been in their hands.
Now, it was in hers.
Her gaze flickered back down to the female, still crying at her feet.
A beat of silence passed.
Then, Y/N took a slow step back, pulling herself from the woman’s grasp.
The female’s sobs quieted.
Y/N straightened her spine, letting the tension bleed from her limbs. Then, with a voice steady and calm—her voice, not Azriel’s, not anyone else’s—she spoke.
"Get up."
The female’s breath hitched.
Y/N arched a brow. "I said, get up."
Slowly, hesitantly, the woman obeyed, wiping at her tear-streaked face as she stood.
Y/N met her gaze, unwavering. “You’re not sorry for what you did.” Her voice was quiet but firm. “You’re sorry for what happened because of it.”
The woman opened her mouth—probably to protest, probably to claim she was sorry—but one look from Azriel had her shutting it immediately.
Y/N exhaled.
“I don’t need your apologies,” she continued. “They don’t change what you did. They don’t change how you made me feel.”
Her nails curled into her palms.
“I don’t forgive you.”
A flicker of something crossed the woman’s face—humiliation, maybe. But Y/N didn’t care.
“You can leave now,” Y/N said simply.
She saw Azriel’s shadows twitch—as if they didn’t want to let them go—but at her command, they loosened.
One by one, the females scrambled out of the hallway, their heads bowed, their faces still streaked with tears.
Y/N didn’t watch them go.
Instead, she turned to Azriel.
He was already looking at her.
And gods—gods, that look.
Like she had just become something entirely new before his eyes. Like she was something fierce, something untouchable.
His hand lifted, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face, his knuckles grazing her cheek. “I’m proud of you,” he murmured.
Y/N swallowed.
She didn’t answer.
She just closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest.
His arms came around her instantly, holding her close, his chin resting atop her head.
For a long moment, neither of them spoke.
Then, softly—
“Az?”
He hummed in response.
She pulled back just enough to meet his gaze. “Don’t ever do that again.”
A slow smirk curled his lips. “Not even a little?”
She glared.
He chuckled, but his fingers gently tilted her chin up. “Alright,” he murmured. “No more shadows dragging terrified females through the streets.”
A pause.
“Unless they deserve it.”
Y/N groaned, hiding her face in his chest again. Azriel just laughed, pressing a lingering kiss to the top of her head.
The morning sun streamed through the kitchen window, casting golden light over the small breakfast she was preparing. The scent of fresh bread and honey filled the air as Y/N moved around, her mind still heavy from yesterday’s events.
Even after all that happened, even after them begging for her forgiveness, a part of her still felt like it was over. That she had lost her dream.
She let out a quiet sigh as she plated the food, determined not to dwell on it. Az would be awake soon, and she wanted to surprise him with breakfast in bed—
A sudden whoosh of magic broke through the quiet morning.
She gasped, stumbling back as a parchment appeared before her, floating midair before it landed softly on the counter.
Her brows furrowed in confusion. With hesitant fingers, she reached for it, breaking the wax seal and unfolding the letter.
Her breath caught the second she read the words.
Miss Y/N,
After reviewing our previous judgment, we have come to realize that we misjudged your performance. We deeply regret our oversight and would like to offer you another opportunity to showcase your talents. If you are still interested, we invite you to perform again today in the afternoon at the Grand Theatre. We sincerely hope you will accept.
Her heart stopped.
Her hands trembled as she reread it again. And again.
She clutched the letter to her chest.
This—this can’t be real.
She had lost her chance. They had crushed it, torn it from her hands.
And now… they were offering it back?
She was so caught up in the storm of emotions that she didn’t hear the footsteps behind her, didn’t notice the warmth approaching until two strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her against a broad, familiar chest.
Azriel buried his face into the crook of her neck, pressing a lazy, sleepy kiss there as he murmured, “What is it?”
She felt the smile on his lips.
The knowing smile.
And something clicked in her mind.
She stiffened slightly, turning in his arms as she held the letter up between them. “Did you have anything to do with this?”
Azriel blinked at her. His expression was a perfect mask of confusion, of innocent curiosity. “What are you talking about?”
His voice was so smooth, so convincing—too convincing.
He tilted his head slightly, his brows furrowing in the perfect Azriel-has-no-clue-what’s-going-on way.
And gods help her—she believed it.
Y/N’s breath came out in a shaky exhale, her body relaxing as she turned back to the letter. “Oh my gods,” she whispered, her lips parting in disbelief. “They really want me to perform again. They really—”
Her voice broke off. A choked laugh escaped her as her hands clutched the parchment tighter.
She had a second chance.
She had a second chance.
A delighted laugh bubbled up her throat as she turned back to Azriel, practically launching herself into his arms.
Az chuckled as he caught her with ease, spinning her slightly before settling her against him, his wings curling around them both.
“I knew it,” she beamed, her voice breathless. “I knew they’d see their mistake. Oh my gods, Az, I get to try again—I get to prove myself.”
Azriel cupped her face, brushing his thumbs over her cheeks as he gazed at her, devoured her with pride shining in his hazel eyes.
“I told you,” he murmured, pressing his lips to her forehead. “I told you that you deserved this.”
Her heart swelled at his words, at the warmth of his touch, at the way he looked at her—like she was everything.
She pulled back slightly, grinning up at him. “What would I do without you?”
His lips curled. “You’d be just fine,” he said, nudging her nose with his. “But lucky for you, you don’t have to find out.”
She laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down into a kiss. He met her eagerly, his hands gripping her waist as he deepened it, as he poured every ounce of pride and love into her.
When they finally pulled apart, he whispered, “You’re going to blow them away.”
Her smile was radiant. “You really think so?”
Azriel’s gaze darkened with something fierce, something possessive. “I know so.”
Y/N laughed again, burying her face in his chest as excitement and nerves thrummed in her veins.
She had another chance.
And this time, she wouldn’t waste it.
Y/N had been preparing for hours.
The moment the letter came, she had thrown herself into practice. Every movement, every turn, every step—she perfected them over and over again, determined to be flawless today. Azriel had been with her every second, his unwavering support wrapping around her like a second skin.
He had sat on the floor of their room, watching as she practiced in front of the mirror. His eyes followed every movement, sharp and analyzing, but also filled with something softer, something adoring. Whenever she faltered, his deep voice was there, murmuring reassurances, guiding her back into focus.
And when the nerves crept in, when she doubted herself for even a second, he pulled her into his arms, pressing soft kisses to her forehead, her cheeks, her lips—reminding her exactly why she was meant for this.
Now, standing outside the grand doors of the theatre, she could feel her heart pounding in her chest.
The streets were quieter today, the usual rush of dancers missing from the entrance. It felt eerie, so different from the weeks before when the halls had been filled with hopefuls, all vying for the lead role.
Now, it was just her.
Azriel stood beside her, his hand gripping hers tightly, as if he could sense the battle raging within her.
"You’re ready," he murmured, his voice steady, unwavering.
She turned to him, searching his hazel eyes, seeking the same reassurance he had given her all morning. And she found it—found that unshakable belief in her, the absolute certainty that she could do this.
Her fingers tightened around his. “Stay here?”
He huffed a soft laugh, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “You have to force me to leave your side, love.”
Warmth bloomed in her chest. She exhaled, stepping closer, pressing her forehead against his. His hands found her waist, his touch grounding.
“I’m nervous,” she admitted.
“I know.” He tilted her chin up, pressing a lingering kiss to her lips. “But you are going to be breathtaking.”
She let out a shaky laugh, letting herself melt into him for just a moment longer before she whispered, “I love you.”
Azriel smiled, and it was the kind of smile that turned her bones to honey. “I love you more.”
With one final breath, she slipped from his arms and stepped inside.
The theatre was silent.
It was so empty, so wrong compared to the chaotic energy of before. Her footsteps echoed against the polished wooden floors as she ascended the stairs, pushing open the doors to the main audition room.
The five judges were already seated, waiting for her.
The moment she entered, their expressions changed.
Not cold, not disinterested like before. But polite. Respectful.
It was… weird.
She took a seat, smoothing her hands over her skirts, and studied them carefully.
The older woman who had scoffed at her before now gave her a small, almost nervous smile. Another judge—one of the males—could barely hold her gaze.
Her eyes flickered to the last judge, and she nearly snorted.
A large, deep bruise curled around the side of his neck, just barely peeking out from the collar of his jacket.
What in the world did he do to deserve that?
She shook the thought away. Focus.
“Miss Y/N,” the eldest judge said, clearing his throat. “We want to thank you for coming today. We deeply regret our misjudgment the last time and hope you will give us the honor of seeing you perform again.”
She tilted her head. Weirdly nice.
She didn’t let herself dwell on it, merely nodded and made her way to the center of the room.
The music started.
She closed her eyes, inhaled.
And then—
She moved.
The first few steps were careful, precise. But with each turn, each shift, she let herself go, let herself become the movement, let herself lose everything but the rhythm thrumming in her veins.
The room faded away.
There was no theatre, no judges, no pressure—just her and the music.
Her shadows twined around her, blending into her movements, wrapping around her like an extension of herself. They curled at her fingertips, twirled with her in perfect synchronization.
Her fears melted away.
Every insult, every rejection, every ounce of doubt—gone.
She was light, she was free.
And as she reached the final note, she landed in a perfect, graceful finish—chest heaving, heart pounding.
The silence that followed was deafening.
She opened her eyes, chest rising and falling.
The judges were staring.
Wide-eyed. Mouths slightly open.
Then—
“You… gods above,” one of the females breathed.
The eldest judge straightened in his chair. “That was phenomenal.”
Another nodded. “Extraordinary.”
“The way you move,” a female judge added, “it’s like the dance was made for you.”
She blinked at them, overwhelmed.
They kept talking—throwing praise after praise, compliments she had never expected to hear from them.
She could barely process it.
She had done it.
She had done it.
Azriel was waiting outside.
The moment she stepped through the doors, his shadows curled around her, his sharp eyes scanning her from head to toe.
His jaw tightened. “Did they say anything—”
She didn’t let him finish.
She launched herself at him.
He barely had time to react before she was in his arms, gripping his shoulders tightly as happy tears streamed down her face.
Az caught her with ease, holding her like she was the most precious thing in the world.
“I got it,” she choked out.
He froze. Pulled back slightly. “What?”
A watery laugh bubbled past her lips. “I got it, Az.” She beamed up at him, breathless. “They said—there’s no need to wait. They’ve already reviewed everyone, and none came close to me. They said I was meant for this role, that I will represent Velaris and its art beautifully.”
Azriel’s chest rose sharply. His grip on her tightened.
Then—
“That’s my girl,” he murmured, voice thick with emotion.
And before she could say anything else, he kissed her.
Not soft, not hesitant—fierce, hungry, filled with pride and love and something utterly consuming.
She melted into him, smiling against his lips as his hands cradled her face, as if he couldn’t bear to let go.
When they finally pulled apart, his forehead rested against hers.
“I knew you would do it,” he whispered. “I knew it.”
She exhaled a shaky breath. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For always believing in me.”
Azriel let out a soft chuckle, pressing another kiss to her forehead before whispering, “Forever.”
With fingers intertwined, hearts still racing, they turned toward home—toward the future she had fought for.
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desklamper · 6 months ago
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bbbBREAKDANXES IN YOUR INBOX!!!!!
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The olpyics moment. Whats up creator of Azzriel, Xen, and many more personaje
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hopefuldreemurr · 7 years ago
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Razzmatazz Azzriel? For the crayon asks?
I'll reblog the answer with the image like last time!
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