#aziraphale needs to get his shit together and realize that the decision he made was perhaps not the best

[mothman-stolemyeyebrows]

Muriel better not sell any books while they’re watching over the bookshop

[cannebady]

I'm thinking about hands.

Perhaps, once the world has been saved again, apologies made and bridges mended, they may find themselves tangled up among soft sheets; demonic whip cord strength wrapped in the strong arms of an angel made to protect.

Crowley awakes to the feeling of soft, strong hands stroking his own long fingers. Up and down and back again, warm and solid and dearly missed. It's been awhile since he's allowed his corporation to feel things. Much easier to deal with an angry press of plump lips if one miraculously forgets what feeling is like all together.

For millions of years they've been leaning in, then drawing away, ending up mostly at arms length, and now Crowley can't name many parts of him that aren't drowning in contact and it's smashing his focus to shit.

It's more that he can't stop focusing on Aziraphale's damnable hands, which have not ceased to stroke his own (he tries not to think about what his spindly fingers feel like, mind a cloud of, does he like it, am I nice to touch, fuck), continuing to learn the landscape of Crowley's digits by fingertips alone, and sending Crowley's higher order functioning on a one-way trip to parks unknown.

He's never woken up with someone before, is the thing. Never had his latent hunger for contact so immediately sated upon waking. In the liminal space between sleep and dream, Crowley's corporation took the contact offered and reconnected his dulled out synapses and now he's awash and overwhelmed and, dare he say, happy enough that he might just yell or cry or pass out.

He's shivering, he realizes, which Aziraphale must be able to feel. Real demonic, him, shaking in the arms of one of the holy host (a former supreme archangel, even) but he challenges anyone to get this much attention, this much affection, after years of starving and not crumble to pieces.

Those awful, wonderful, healing hands grip him suddenly, lacing thick, soft fingers through his own (providing cushion for them, a safe place to land after so long untouched, it's been so long), and a deep, sleep-rough-but-proper voice speaks into his ear, "I've got you my darling, I'm right here."

It's like a balm on Crowley's fraying nerves and he makes a noise that hides precisely none of that thought.

"I won't be parted from you, my dear. Not again. Never again."

It's exactly what he needs to hear and it flays him a bit that he's this vulnerable. Again.

But maybe this is the way forward. Their way forward. Maybe he needs to have a little faith (hah!).

He remembers a stage in a bygone era, his trembling finger on the trigger and "Trust me," on the angel's lips. He remembers that he did, and that he was right to.

Decision made, he lets his fingers curl Aziraphale's in, tight, to hold and to keep.

His reward is a kiss on his jaw, right below his snake, and a sound of complete contentment from the being holding him close, safe from the world and his own insecurity.

Things are wont to change, Crowley muses as he drifts off again, not least of all himself. Perhaps now, he's not changing alone.

[shae-s-heartsong]

This is going to be more of a draft than an actual, complete, fully written fanfiction (mostly because I can’t exactly imagine a context). I mentioned before that I would like S3 Aziraphale and Crowley to have a conversation about how Crowley fell. Not only because it would help Aziraphale to put himself in Crowley’s shoes, to understand him, but also for what it represents. Intimacy. Trust. Honesty. A real progress in their relation and communication. A real progress in Aziraphale’s view of the world. It would also mean that he’s less scared, or ready to face reality. 

The idea is that during season 3, when they get together again (it will happen, eventually), after a few events that would lead them to work together, they would have a heart-to-heart conversation in Aziraphale’s bookshop, and explain the decisions they had to make. Aziraphale would say he has regrets. 

–

“What do you regret, Aziraphale? If… you want to tell me?” asked Crowley, and as he said that, he tried to sit correctly, pushing his still untouched glass of wine aside. 

The angel sighed - it was the sigh of someone who gathers courage before asking a difficult question. 

“Well… Actually, it’s something I should have done a long time ago. I guess I was too afraid to ask. I didn’t even know if you wanted to talk about it either, actually.” 

Crowley understood immediately. 

“You mean my Fall.” It was an encouraging statement.

“Yes. I should have asked earlier. I feel rather insensitive that I didn’t. If I had asked… Then I would probably have understood how unfair it was for me to ask you to come back to Heaven.” For a brief moment, he looked away, ashamed. “Now I think that I am ready to hear what you have to say about how it felt… and I think I need to. But that is only if you feel comfortable doing it.” 

Aziraphale patiently waited for Crowley’s answer, but the demon had to collect himself before actually talking. Because it wasn’t going to be easy. After all these years, he was still vulnerable about his Fall. Especially with Aziraphale around. Aziraphale, trying to mend the pieces of the precious thing they had both broken. 

“Right. Well.” He cleared his throat, straightened. He nervously tapped his fingers on the surface of the table. Perceiving Crowley’s anxiety, Aziraphale initiated a gesture to take his hand, wanting to reassure him, but he hesitated before deciding that it was worth trying. 

The softness of the act made Crowley realize how intimate this moment was going to be - and it was a bit scary. He removed his hand.

“I’ll need my glasses to do this.” 

He took them and put them on hastily, then resumed his initial position - and, to Aziraphale’s surprise, he grabbed his hand again, tangling their fingers - accepting his quiet support.  

“Okay. The truth is, angel, that even today, I’m not exactly sure why I fell.”

Ah, shit. He hadn’t expected his voice to break at the first sentence. He hadn’t expected that he’d want to cry, admitting this. He thought that it would be the easiest part, saying that he didn’t understand, but that’s something he had never told anyone, except, in desperate attempts, to God. Lonely tears made their way down his face. 

“It- It was the hardest part. And feeling lonely was not exactly great, either.” He gulped, trying to kill the sobs threatening to escape from his throat. “And then, there was Hell. And I couldn’t find my place there, either.” He didn’t mention the physical pain he had to endure, it was irrelevant. “I only had questions, once again.” 

He noticed that Aziraphale was crying, too.

“Angel, that’s not helping if you’re crying”, he said, trying to sound amused, but his voice was shaking. He looked in his pocket and found a second pair of sunglasses. “Take.” 

“But I will still be crying.”

“Yeah, well, at least I won’t see you.”

The angel obeyed - he looked ridiculous with the glasses on, which actually did help Crowley. 

“ Like I said, aside from asking questions, I don’t know what made God cast me away from Heaven. I guess I’ll never know for sure. For a long time I was angry and bitter and completely lost. But with time, I understood that I just wasn’t fit for either Heaven or Hell. I guess I’d just like to understand.” 

He didn’t know what to add. He had expected to have more things to say, but he just couldn’t find anything more to say. He guessed that beyond knowing the facts, Aziraphale had mostly wanted to access Crowley’s mind, and stop this from being something they couldn’t talk about. And now it was done, and they were both still here, and though it was sad, they both felt relieved. 

“I’m so sorry”, said Aziraphale. I’m so sorry I didn’t ask before ; I’m so sorry you had to go through this on your own ; I’m so sorry I don’t have the answer you’re looking for ; I’m so sorry Heaven failed you. These things were left unsaid, but Crowley could grasp the meaning behind the words. 

“It’s fine, Angel.” You came. But he couldn’t bring himself to say that, so instead he said, in the softest possible way: “I forgive you”. 

Aziraphale smiled - it was a sad but grateful smile. 

“And - I’m sorry, too”, said Crowley. 

The angel looked confused. “What are you apologizing for?” He asked, removing the glasses. His eyes were shining in a moist glow but he wasn’t crying anymore. 

He had to say it. 

“ I was unfair to you too.” He tensed a little as he kept talking. “And I shouldn't have kissed you. The way I did.” 

“ Oh, Crowley.” There was pain in Aziraphale’s voice. 

“ No, it’s true. I didn’t even wait until… I mean I wasn’t sure if you were okay with it (he almost had said “I didn’t wait until you were ready for it”, which was assuming that he wanted it in the first place). And it wasn’t how I would have wished it was. Didn’t mean it… that way.” 

Aziraphale was listening with a hopeful look. He asked prudently: “How did you mean it, then?” 

Crowley was hoping that the question would come. He was fearing it, too - because he didn’t want to mess up, this time. He wanted to do this the right way. 

He removed his sunglasses. Aziraphale’s breath stopped for a brief moment, he could hear it. He carefully watched Aziraphale’s face, trying to figure if it was the right time, and trying to communicate the intimacy he was offering. Their eyes met automatically, and he knew that he was given permission because the angel looked like he was waiting for him. 

Slowly, to give the Angel the choice to stop him, Crowley leaned towards Aziraphale. Hesitantly, Aziraphale glanced at Crowley’s lips. He knew what was coming. 

And Crowley kissed Aziraphale. 

He cupped the angel’s face with both his hands, his thumbs brushing the skin of his cheeks, while Aziraphale’s hand clenched Crowley’s shirt, on his back. 

This kiss, unlike the previous one, conveyed the right feelings Crowley and Aziraphale had long longed to express to each other. Feelings that didn’t need to be told, because they both knew, and they had known for decades, if not centuries. Feelings of peace, of acceptance, of forgiving, and, most of all, of hope. It was gentle and soft, so very soft. 

It didn’t last for too long. Crowley wanted the kiss to be chaste, yet intimate. But none of them moved away; when they broke the kiss, Aziraphale’s breath was irregular. He put his other hand on Crowley’s chest, where his heart was. He could feel his strong heartbeat, pumping peacefully. 

“Thank you”, said Aziraphale, when he got calmer.

And these words were exactly what Crowley needed to hear.  

-

I’m writing that mostly for myself, I just needed the softness and the talk. Like I said, it’s something I wrote without thinking too much about it, so Azi and Crowley might not be very in character. But hey I need the healing, so I guess, just enjoy?

[donnimos]

Take this character drawing study that I did whilst I take my lil heart out bout him :,D !!!!!SPOILERS, TRED CAREFULLY!!!!!=͟͟͞͞ =͟͟͞͞ ﾍ ( ´ Д `)ﾉ imma just say, I ain't mad at Azi Shocked, hell yea, but ain't mad. idk how to fully describe it, but I feel that Aziraphale had taken up the offered opportunity in a way to have heaven be less "one sided". Although yea I'm grasping onto the coffee theory like its a drug and hoping that its true, he has shown to frown upon the decisions made from "his side" throughout the show, both in s1 and 2, and by going back to the place that actively hates on him (to his face even💀) he sees it as a way to open up more opportunities that were seen as ?blasphemy? and wrong. Now, the thing is, I do feel that Crowley also plays a big part in his decision, junked up or not. he has seen fist hand how happy he was when creating, and he wants to bring him back to that, unfortunately, it doesn't clock in that that's not what Crowley wants at all, he didn't want to go back in a longgg time, he just wanted to be with Aziraphale, bro just want's a peaceful live without heaven or hell breathing down his back, and he wants to spend that live with Aziraphale. I'll probably go into more detail with Crowley and how he has grown as a character in a post dedicated for him, but I digress. Its shown that Aziraphale straight up regrets his decision when going up to heaven, i.e: having his smile not reach his eyes, and after Crowley kisses him, he does linger on that kiss mentally, but he's also just questioning everythinggg. Can he love Crowley openly, is he even allowed to love any being romantically (╯•﹏•╰), and its just a shit storm all together. Now, the part that kills me but ultimately, its for the better .°(ಗдಗ。)°. Crowley can't be the one to save him. Aziraphale gotta do that all on his ownnn,,,sorta like yea, Crowley can help him a bit, but he has to come to the realization that Heaven will never change, specially for him. They can pretend to listen, but nothing will change, and Aziraphale needs to see that on his own, and make a decision on his own without anyone trying to convince him of what he wants. Ain't saying that that's what Crowley is doing, quite the opposite rlly, just saying that he needs to find out what he wants for once. I do believe that Crowley has helped him grow more as a person, but he needs to make the push himself to fully believe in what he wants and to not feel guilty about it. Yo its like, 1 am rn for me, so please excuse the inaccuracies you may run into with this lil spiel of mine, rather it be spelling mistakes or just getting the canon wrong is some parts ´･ᴗ･`

[paintedvanilla]

paintedvanilla’s good omens fic recommendations

here we have something I’ve been too shy to make for a while because. to be straight with you. more than half of these are explicit. and well. yeah.

works listed in escalating rating order (general -> teen -> mature -> explicit)

everything is completed unless otherwise noted.

Title: Bowties

Author: dvldegg ( @caerdroia )

Rating: General

Word Count: 776

Summary: “Newt needs help tying his bowtie. Crowley makes fun of Aziraphale. It's just a typical weekend.”

My Notes: This fic caused me to overdose on domestic cuteness.

Title: anywhere i go you go, my dear

Author: chamaenerion

Rating: General

Word Count: 1,533

Summary: “After the Apocalypse-that-wasn't, Crowley is reluctant to leave Aziraphale's side.”

My Notes: I will literally die i swear to god this has nervous and protective crowley and he’s clingy and overall I just wanted to scream I love him I love my boy and they’re so in love and they should always be allowed to be together

Title: Getting a Wiggle On

Author: Kedreeva

Rating: General

Word Count: 7,293

Summary: “Crowley's prank to leave Aziraphale with fake eggs to babysit does not go remotely as planned.”

My Notes: You’ve probably seen this concept floating around tumblr but this fic made me GENTLE because i have daddy issues and whenever people are like “crowley and aziraphale as parents” i have a fucking heart attack

Title: Adopt Don’t Shop - A Good Meowmans Fanfic

Author: lucky_spike

Rating: General

Word Count: 12,434

Summary: “Inspired by Chekhov's cat AU comics 'Good Meowmens', here is a fanfic in which Anathema and Newt are humans, and Aziraphale and Crowley are cats. Not disguised as cats, not trapped in cat bodies, just actual elderly cats that are inseparable.”

My Notes: I know some people think au’s like this are kinda weird but this one is so fucking charming to me idk??? I literally ate this shit up I love being gentle and reading about cats who are in love.

Title: Not Alone

Author: superqueerdanvers

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 937

Summary: “Crowley and Anathema are supposed to meet Aziraphale at the movies, but they can't find a parking place, and they have a heart-to-heart about disability.”

My Notes: I experienced feelings and also emotions while reading this and now i’m a different person

Title: bastard child of water

Author: smallredboy ( @smallredb0y )

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 15,622

Summary: “After a grave mistake, Crowley, a merman, is transformed into a human and exiled out of the sea. Issues crop up as he grows used to his new body, to his new friends and to his new job. But when a merman he's seen in passing pokes his head out of the water one afternoon, Crowley will fall for him and look for a way to regain his body.”

My Notes: THIS FIC MAKES ME LOSE MY SHIT i bribed dave with real life money to finish it and every day i’m thankful i made that decision because this fic is SO. FUCKING. GOOD. IT’S TENDER!! IT’S GENTLE!! IT MAKES ME LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND!!!!!

Title: Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach 

Author: Nnm

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 99,423

Summary: “As soon as Aubrey Thyme, psychotherapist, had opened her office door and seen her new client, Anthony J. Crowley, sitting in her waiting area, she was observing and assessing him. At first glance, she paid attention to the following:

His clothing was expensive and stylish;

He wore very strange but noticeable cologne;

His relationship to the seat he occupied could only, very loosely, be described as “sitting;”

He looked angry;

He was wearing sunglasses.”

My Notes: OH!!!!!!!! MY GOD!!!!!!!!! THIS FIC DESTROYED ME EMOTIONALLY!!!!!!! IT RIPPED MY FUCKING HEART OUT AND FORCED ME TO DEAL WITH #ISSUES AND JUST OVERALL TURNED ME INTO A DISASTER!!!! I READ THIS SHIT IN ONE SITTING!!! I WAS HOOKED!!!! EVEN NOW JUST THINKING ABOUT IT IS DEALING PSYCHIC DAMAGE!!!!!! PLEASE READ THIS!!!

Title: The Odd One Out

Author: RainyDayDecaf

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 2,948

Summary: “It takes being thrown into another universe and meeting other versions of himself to make Aziraphale realize there is something wrong with the way his Crowley treats him.”

My Notes: A product of the shit-script, literally had me feeling emotions but also giggling because movie!Aziraphale deserves to be LOVED.

Title: A Single Feather

Author: qwanderer

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 2,521

Summary: “Here's the thing. Demons must be good at improv, at hiding reactions, at carrying on no matter what. They can’t show a moment of vulnerability, not to each other, and certainly not to angels. They were supposed to be tough, untrusting, paranoid bastards, or else.

So Crowley had developed a highly honed skill of automatically bullshitting, boasting, and mocking while covering up his true emotions, and it was in full force now.”

My Notes: I’m a simple woman. I see a nesting fic, I click on it. And it makes me emotional and afterwards I have to lay face down on the floor.

Title: Untouched

Author: Etaleah

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 3,531

Summary: “A demon's life is a lonely one. What Crowley wants is so simple, yet he can never have it.”

My Notes: I will literally fly into the sun if I see the tag “touch starved crowley” i will scream at the top of my lungs. Somebody please hold this demon.

Title: Penance

Author: Blissymbolics

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 5,910

Summary: “And for a while, it’s enough.

It’ll happen, Crowley tells himself. This time, it’ll finally happen.”

My Notes: Listen. This fic destroyed me, it made me tender horny and just overall ruined my night in the best way possible. I’m having a crisis over it as we speak. 

Title: Starved

Author: Fyre

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 6,351

Summary: “The first time the angel touches him, it’s as they descend from the walls of Eden.

It’s nothing, only a hand put out to steady him. A kindness. And yet a thousand memories from life below make Crawly flinch instinctively at the contact. It’s stupid, really, and he’s sure the angel doesn’t notice. He doesn’t stop to consider the fact that the angel’s hand was soft and for a moment, his skin tingled where it touched. Not right away, anyway.”

My Notes: AHH!! Crowley really said “I am touch starved please love me” like!! Imagine craving someone’s touch for SIX THOUSAND YEARS!! I’D GO BONKERS!! THIS FIC MADE ME GO BONKERS!!

Title: can you keep me close (can you love me most)

Author: taizi

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 3,268

Summary: “When his angel stretches out a hand, cupid’s bow mouth curved into a familiar smile, Crowley knows better. When he’s led to his own bedroom, pushed down amidst the silk sheets and hastily miracled pillows and a sinful duvet, when Aziraphale leans over him and the whole world seems to hang right there in his eyes, Crowley knows that this is not his to keep. It’s not for him to have this.”

My Notes: I can will and must LITERALLY EXPLODE the tension in this one is palatable and I snort hurt/comfort like cocaine.

Title: please, could you be tender?

Author: deadgreeks

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 6,262

Summary: “The first kiss is only the beginning of a relationship. Crowley and Aziraphale need to talk about things. That is not their strong suit.”

My Notes: I ache and I yearn for this type of content they are literally. They are LITERALLY… I’m going to burst into flames.

Title: The Quiet, Persistent, Gnawing Unease

Author: LillipopCop

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 20,850

Summary: “An exploration of the serious toll Hell's physical and psychological grip has taken on Crowley since his Fall.”

My Notes: Fics where Crowley experiences emotional distress own my ass.

Title: Make a Little Birdhouse in Your Soul

Author: Zolac_no_Miko

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 10,573

Summary: “It was a compulsion that he couldn’t quite define. A burning in his blood, a tingle on the palms of his hands. A restlessness that drove him to art galleries, antique stores, and street markets, seeking some object that would please Aziraphale. Something beautiful, or something useful—something he would want to keep. It started with little things, small tokens that didn’t require a special occasion: an embroidered silk bookmark; a rare and delicate tea from the highlands of China; a steel pen and inkwell to replace Aziraphale’s quill pen, and then a fountain pen to replace that. And then things started to get out of hand.”

My Notes: Another nesting fic that almost wiped me the fuck out.

Title: Crown of Thorns [The Walls, the Wainscot, and the Mouse] 'Verse

Author: irisbleufic ( @irisbleufic )

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 275,000

Summary: ““D’you realize,” [Crowley] said, “that we never tire of things humans get bored with on the regular?” Aziraphale shrugged, lazily basking. “I’ve always assumed it’s that we don’t tire of each other.””

My Notes: Please for the love of god and all that is holy if you have not read this fic, read it. I consider it canon.

Title: fires of the flesh, both literal and figurative

Author: mercuryhatter

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2,726

Summary: “Pretty standard "there's a sex curse and Crowley has to have way too many orgasms or be discorporated" stuff.”

My Notes: Yeah this is. Where I’m gonna start to get shy about my notes. It’s funny and it’s hot. Yeah.

Title: The Understanding

Author: Zetared

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 37,918

Summary: “Crowley is untethered. Aziraphale knows how to secure a knot. (He’s read many books on the subject, after all).”

My Notes: In which the underlying plot is a little strange but the overlying porn is very good.

Title: Come Fuck Me Hips

Author: AgentStannerShipper

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,471

Summary: “Crowley has had a fantasy about Aziraphale for centuries now. Too bad the angel would never take him up on it. Except, as it turns out, he absolutely would.”

My Notes: Everybody has read this and if you haven’t then you better because it’s. It’s good.

Title: If I Regard Iniquity

Author: elektratios

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1,912

Summary: ““Aziraphale…” Crowley’s mouth worked a bit but no more words would come out. He cleared his throat. “Aziraphale, there’s no,” he gestured vaguely, “iniquity here.” He winced at his choice of words. “No-one is watching, no-one is judging. It’s just us.””

My Notes: I will literally dunk myself in the trash holy shit. It’s. It’s good.

Title: that pulse of my nights and days

Author: Ark

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1,694

Summary: “Aziraphale laughs, the delighted, breathy giggle he gives after his second bottle of champagne. “Such a shame we didn’t come to this sooner,” he says, pulling back and—oh, naughty angel!—increasing the length and girth of his cock when he pushes back in. Crowley gasps, and Aziraphale—greedy, too!—tilts in to swallow the sound from his lips, flicks his tongue against Crowley’s as though chasing after the flavor of this elongated pleasure.”

My Notes: This one is uh. This is a dirty one. It’s good but it sure is filthy.

Title: A Home at the Beginning of the World

Author: stereobone

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5,867

Summary: “"Oh," Aziraphale says. "I think Crowley might have moved in with me."”

My Notes: Everyone has read this one too but for good reason because it’s fucking amazing and makes me wanna scream.

Title: The One In Which Crowley Discovers Wanking

Author: for_autumn_i_am

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5,784

Summary: “It began, like most memorable events in Crowley’s life did, with a bad decision; like most bad decisions, it involved poor impulse control and copious amounts of alcohol. The Antichrist had been born, and he put on lipstick and kitten heels to deal with it, but knew that the clock was ticking, and at times when time was slipping away, it helped to hold onto a bottle of gin.”

My Notes: It’s what the title says and it’s hot.

Title: Love Hath Made Thee A Tame Snake

Author: thehoyden

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,484

Summary: “He was the bloody Serpent of Eden, and he wasn’t going to stand for this kind of flagrant trespassing.”

My Notes: It’s uhhhhhhh… it’s hot!

Title: A Bolt From The Heavens

Author: coloursflyaway

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11,235

Summary: “Aziraphale is going to show Crowley just how much he is loved. Through touch.”

My Notes: I will LITERALLY collapse on the floor… it’s too much for me

Title: Say Amen

Author: SinningPlumpPrincess

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1,967

Summary: “Despite being in a relationship, they still long and yearn for each other.

Despite being in a relationship, Crowley can't get over that Aziraphale loves touching him.”

My Notes: I’m a very simple woman. I see a fic tagged “dry humping” and I click on it.

Title: Praise Be to Crowley

Author: FishingforCrows

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2,306

Summary: “A simple comment from Aziraphale gets an unexpected reaction from Crowley. Aziraphale is curious to see what happens if he repeats the same comment in the bedroom.”

My Notes: It has praise kink crowley how am I not supposed to find it hot.

Title: Tea for One

Author: Kaesa

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,072

Summary: “Crowley doesn't have a lot of complaints about sex with Aziraphale, but he can't help being miffed when Aziraphale stops just to have another sip of tea.”

My Notes: A two for one: funny and sexy

Title: rest yourself with me

Author: sabinelagrande

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,380

Summary: “Crowley has a wonderful invention that he's just dying to try.”

My Notes: It’s funny and it’s hot what more could you ask for?

Title: let the rivers fill

Author: focusfixated

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4,996

Summary: ““Darling,” Aziraphale answered. “I’m here.” His hand stroked through Crowley’s hair, teasing out the snarls of red that tangled around his fingers, matted with sweat and knotted where Crowley had thrashed his head against the pillows. “Can you turn over for me, love?” Weakly, Crowley’s eyes flickered down, and he saw the angel blushing, as if now, suddenly, of all things, he had succumbed to reticence. He was sat back on his knees, and the soft accordion folds of him were dewy with sweat and moonlight. His heart constricting somewhere in his useless chest, Crowley turned over, and spread his legs.”

My Notes: I see overstimulation and I fucking floor it. Please never stop writing fics where they have limitless stamina.

Title: sweet just like frustration

Author: teatales

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 7,174

Summary: “Crowley danced on the line between self-serving and selfless when it came to Aziraphale. He would do anything, anything for the angel. Anything he asked, anything he suggested, anything he needed but didn’t say aloud. But Crowley was also a terribly, desperately greedy thing. And oh, how he wanted. Wanted Aziraphale with every damned fibre of his infernal being. Wanted to be good for him; so, so good that he would never want to leave. Crowley wanted to be the best, his only, his everything. As much as he wished to lie there in exquisite rapture - he was nothing if not lazy - he needed to at least attempt to communicate all that he felt. To make Aziraphale feel even a quarter of what he experienced. He had to try.”

My Notes: Just LOOK at that summary. How can I read that summary without being expected to fucking faint. Jesus christ!!

Title: The Human Way

Author: battle_cat

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2,780

Summary: “They're finally about to fuck on the bookshop couch and Aziraphale wants to know what Crowley wants.”

My Notes: I SEE A FIC WHERE CROWLEY DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE WANTS AND IS JUST TRYING TO MAKE AZIRAPHALE HAPPY AND I BURST INTO FLAMES

Title: We Waited Long Enough

Author: syrupfactory

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4,170

Summary: “After a few months of (finally) officially dating, Aziraphale is a little hurt when Crowley seems amused by his eagerness for sex. Why? Because Aziraphale actually wants way, way more. Fortunately, that's a fun problem to solve.”

My Notes: THEY EACH THINK THE OTHER ISN’T AS INTERESTED IN HAVING SEX AS THEY ARE AND THEN THEY HAVE MARATHON SEX AND I’M SWEATING.

Title: As Advertised on TV

Author: Mr_Customs_Man

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1,045

Summary: “Everything that Crowley knew about sex, he learned from watching movies. As fun as movies are, they don't provide a comprehensive sex education. Needless to say, he has some misconceptions in regards to the act.”

My Notes: This is NOT a sexy fic!! It is sad and it wrenches my heart and I WORRY. Crowley please communicate your NEEDS.

Title: until you say it out loud

Author: attheborder

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 6,293

Summary: “And Aziraphale is realizing now, to its fullest, something he’s suspected for nearly as long as he’s known Crowley: the demon is no silver-tongued devil. He is no weaver of words, no smooth talker. It would fit in with his image, certainly— shouldn’t a man-shaped being dressed like an oilslick have speech just as dark and slippery— but there’s very little of either of them that’s as it ought to be, really.”

My Notes: This fic ignited me and I burst into flames. You’re probably starting to see a trend in what I like to read.

Title: Coitus Interruptus with Paperwork

Author: mountagrue

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,780

Summary: “The one where Azira Fell (directly onto Crowley's dick, did not pass go, did not fill out the appropriate forms).”

My Notes: Scream this is funny and horny Aziraphale falls and immediately gets to dicking down his demon while Gabriel suffers the aftermath. 

Title: What Crowley Wants

Author: crookedashes

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 7,022

Summary: “Aziraphale wants to give Crowley what he wants most. It goes a bit sideways.”

My Notes: I die for this content can they communicate like normal people for FIVE MINUTES? Ft. Crowley feeling inadequate and me flying into the sun.

Title: All The Rest

Author: darlingred1

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11,416

Summary: “If it weren’t for Aziraphale’s persistence, they wouldn’t have had a sex life at all, and Crowley was a demon, for goodness sake! Aziraphale didn’t understand it. (Aziraphale has the communication skills of a doorknob. Crowley isn't any better.)”

My Notes: Aziraphale and Crowley are like *has horny communication issues* and i’m like *nuts*

Title: and in this way their love rewrites the universe

Author: leaveanote

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 9,503

Summary: “They've been desperately in love for a year since the world didn't end, and they've been making little miracles happen for each other. Crowley's latest? A date outside of London, at a drive-in movie theatre in the South Downs. Yes, they have sex in the Bentley.”

My Notes: IT’S SAPPY IT’S TENDER IT’S HORNY IT’S ROMANTIC THEY INVENTED LOVE!!!

Title: sanctuary

Author: leaveanote

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 6,779

Summary: “It's about making a home together. It takes some getting used to, to take all this longing and transmute it into love, into something shared, but Aziraphale is here to help him get used to it. Especially on a stormy day in the cottage.

What better way to spend it than making love over and over and over?”

My Notes: I am literally a mess I read fics where they’re madly in love and want to stay close and I explode

Title: The Skin And Bones Of You

Author: entangelednow

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4,001

Summary: “In which Crowley has spent six thousand years wanting something he doesn't think he deserves. It's only natural to assume he won't get to keep it.”

My Notes: I swear to god i will SCREAM!! IT’S TOO MUCH!! PLEASE NEVER STOP WRITING CROWLEY AS INSECURE.

Title: love like the dawn

Author: leaveanote

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,755

Summary: “This is sleepy, romantic, domestic morning sex in the South Downs Cottage. Crowley's still getting used to a love this good, the way it remakes him, the way it remakes the world.”

My Notes: I can’t with this like they’re just so in love I’ve lost the ability to breathe this fic stole my lungs and left me for dead

Title: to sleep, perchance to dream

Author: starkhasheart

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 3,023

Summary: “Crowley has a kink. Of course Aziraphale is going to indulge him.”

My Notes: Uhhhhhh it’s. Uhhh. Consensual somnophilia is uh… yeah.

Title: on the same page

Author: Chekhov

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: ~85,746

Summary: “Aziraphale Z. Fell is a rising star of the spiritual literary genre - the next Eat Pray Love guy - and his version of Chicken Soup For the Christian Soul is flying off the shelves. It's not that he's not grateful, but it's one thing to enjoy a career in writing and another completely to be pigeonholed into a specific genre, so much so that you are almost forbidden from writing anything else. So yes, maybe he has a bit of a secret. An outlet for his less... appropriate urges. And yes, if his typical readership got word of the sort of paragraphs he could put out on a particularly inspired night, they might suffer some form of heart attack typical for their age. But all of that is well hidden, and there is absolutely no way anyone would ever find out about his Arrangement with A.J. Crowley - the most debaucherous romantic fiction author of the decade. That is... until they have to pretend to be married to each other.”

My Notes: THIS ONE ISN’T FINISHED YET BUT IT’S A HUMAN AU AND EVERY UPDATE MAKES ME FOAM AT THE MOUTH

Title: be mine

Author: leaveanote

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4,994

Summary: “It's their first Valentine's Day together, and Crowley is trying to pick out the right present.”

My Notes: I SCREAM I actually did not realize how many of this authors works I had bookmarked and HOLY SHIT!! THEY ARE JUST SO IN LOVE!! AHHHHH!!

Title: do we get what we deserve

Author: Smalls

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 11,064

Summary: “Crowley had not been a particularly good angel.

Unfortunately, Crowley had never been a particularly good demon either.”

My Notes: Cannot lie this had me openly sobbing on a Friday morning and left me emotionally raw

Title: Renting Crowley

Author: Amorous_Flammetta

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 8,018

Summary: “Crowley acts out Aziraphale's Victorian-era fantasy of taking a rent boy home for the night. Their little game includes costumes, champagne, dirty talk and explicit sex!”

My Notes: ITS A RENT BOY FANTASY BUT IT’S ALSO TENDER AND LOVING AND IT HAD ME SWEATING AND MADE ME EMOTIONAL

Title: do me right and do me wrong (give it up, give it up)

Author: seashadows

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 10,828

Summary: “Crowley copes with attention starvation, tries out some new hobbies, and discovers that asking for what you need is better than the alternative.”

My Notes: I’M GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE THIS ONE MADE ME SCREAM LIKE I JUST CANNOT HANDLE IT ATTENTION STARVATION WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

Title: For The Longest Time

Author: darlingred1

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 20,370

Summary: “Crowley kind of misses the pining when it's gone. Aziraphale comes up with a solution.”

My Notes: It was hot and funny and lasted just long enough to really make me antsy for the conclusion.

Title: Clementine

Author: Mussimm

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 49,073

Summary: “The seaside neighbours AU exactly one person asked for.”

My Notes: HUMAN AU WHERE THEY LIVE BY THE BEACH AND FALL IN LOVE AKA BE STILL MY BEATING HEART

Title: Gentle but Intoxicating, Nervous but Tender 

Author: ShortInsomniac98 ( @devilsss-dyke )

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 2,868

Summary: “Crowley x vulva-having reader. // It wasn’t what you’d expected when you agreed to come home with him. What you’d expected was a maybe a quick, clumsy fuck, then out the door. Not some nervous but tender man who stammered out an, 'Is this okay then?' This was much nicer, much sweeter.”

My Notes: No comment besides uhhhhhh [sweats]

[waters-and-the-wilde]

vivez (you have 1 life let it Be Gay)

woo okay Fools and Angels stalled out a bit because all the later stuff wants to happen but the in between stuff still won't get its shit together and the later stuff is relying on that for at least some semblance of coherence (also i went on a road trip and went to a wedding and ran away to a farm on the west coast so it was a busy month)

so i'm going to hash around my dumb gay fic headcanons to get back in the swing of things pls enjoy

first of all, i recognize that canon Percy and Marguerite are textbook dumb heteros who just need to talk to each other and fuck knows why i like them so much, but i also used to think queer people were just better at that sort of thing (bc you know I thought that the self-knowledge and courage and ability to see through dumb cisheteronormative expectations that came with the territory would give one an edge) and honestly it's been a bit of a trip to constantly discover the extent to which we're all complete disasters

anyway all this to say, Percy and Marguerite are a matched set of distinguished-disaster bisexuals and peak mlm/wlw solidarity. they both went to boarding school and Mrgt was in theatre so like. they Know what they're about.

(side note back in the day i wanted Scarlet Pimpernel but Lesbians nd it was gonna be Pimpernels and Violets w/ Gwendolyn Christie for Percy and Gugu Mbatha-Raw for Mrgt.)

but honestly while we're here with my old headcanons I rly want POC Mrgt and Armand especially knowing what I know now about Alex Dumas and how many multi-racial folks from Haiti were knocking around Parisian society being wealthy and fabulous

(whole other set of reasons to stand back and sip champagne while letting Crowley loose on Thomas Jefferson)

this adds some whole other considerations that I would need to research mostly because of England being weird and whether Percy and Mrgt could have gotten married in the first place. but like if you were black, France basically was the only promise for freedom. you didn't have other places to go. how much more weight does that lend to Mrgt's decision to condemn de St. Cyr? being willing to make that call because the idea of royalist invasion and having that first lick of freedom snatched away is intolerable? having to struggle with watching those real possibilities get corrupted and torn away but really truly knowing what it was worth to begin with and never quite knowing when to break away from it?

and Armand, who's all in for the same reason, Armand who's smart and passionate and idealistic who gets to help shape the new government only to realize it's becoming a monster and swallowing him up while he's stuck on the inside

whoops i made myself sad

anyway i can have trans guy Sir Percy, as a treat. he's gottn away with it bc he was like four years old and wanted to be a knight and his father needed an heir and he said 'well why can't I be a boy? I want to be a boy I want to be Sir Percival' and his mother was sick and old Algernon Blakeney thought bout it and he went and fudged some things and bribed some nurses and raised bby Percy with private tutors, and Percy managed to make it through boarding school by virtue of being six foot odd of gorgeousness and good at getting people to see what he wants them to see so i guess that makes him bisexual in both the archaic and the modern sense

due to Percy's charisma stats he became the center of the Eton queer penguin huddle, starting with Andrew Foulkes when he realized he wasn't terribly interested in women except that he just thinks they're neat (thought maybe he was gay before realizing men weren't really his thing either, aromantic, now platonically devoted to Percy and the league and Marguerite)

Tony Dewhurst had an entire blazing crush on Percy that eventually settled into a platonic devotion, (okay but have you seen 80s Tony Dewhurst and the way he looks at Percy? it’s like he was taking lessons in Gay Babey from Aziraphale) now in a close relationship with his 'valet' (actually a bf from France who they rescued nd is now in England disguised as Dewhurst's valet so they can be close w/o raising eyebrows)

half the league is their Eton queer penguin huddle tbh, hence the sense of discretion and willingness to risk danger bc life already be like that

fuck it they're all queer except Armand, i'm not sorry and i do make the rules

poor Chauvelin, repressed disaster bisexual, loses half his braincells in Sir Percy's presence because the man's so goddamn infuriatingly attractive and he doesn't know how to process it except as pure loathing and contempt for his enemy and rival, and while we're on the subject, Crowley's slinkiness and conflicting gender cues and background noise aura of temptation also make him feel an awful lot of things he doesn't want to look at too closely, and while we're on the subject, so does Mrgt in a soldier's uniform

(it doesn't help that like queerness was, if acknowledged, thought of as a vice of the aristos in France whereas England's molly community skewed more middle class, and Chauvelin was a marquis' son who's trying desperately to fit in and prove his loyalty to the Republic and Max Robespierre's purity culture so that's a whole extra layer, boy he and Aziraphale need to have a talk)

baby lesbian Suzanne de Tournay had an entire blazing crush on Mrgt but she was a few years older so it was more of a senpai notice me thing. genderfluid awakening from that time she got to go around in disguise as a soldier. marriage of convenience with Sir Andrew? that way Maman approves and isn't constantly overseeing her and they can both hang out with Mrgt on the regular who can introduce her to all the London debutantes. ya girl is french she doesn't give a heck she's gonna be mistress to half the unhappily-married women in London whose husbands have bad teeth

Armand is... straight. it happens. however instead of being the token dumb hetero, Armand is not only a good bro and ally but he's actually pretty emotionally astute, he's just not a schemes-and-layers thinker like literally all the others, and he's reasonably in touch wth his feelings and acts on them which just gets him in a lot of trouble with 'rational' society and furthermore he's the one who reminds people to actually talk instead of playing mind games and that friends is why Armand has the brain cell

the song Killer Queen is heavily based on Marguerite and Mme de Serpens bc of Freddie Mrc hearing Crowley ramble about his time in France thank u for coming to my ted talk

[mostfacinorous]

How are the Arklings? How do Crowley and Aziraphale take it when they're old enough to marry and have children of their own?

Still accepting drabble prompts in my inbox-- and this is another of the stories of #the arklings. Be sure to check the tag if you aren’t familiar... and, if you want to play in this sandbox yourself, please feel free. Just be sure and link me so I can read it too! 

Jael was nearly nineteen when Noah and Ham come to their home to discuss the possibility of marriage. Ham’s wife had died in childbirth during the winter, and Jael was the eldest of their children– and the next youngest girl was Keturah, who was three years her junior. 

Ham, though, was in his late thirties by now– old enough that it would have been an odd match before the flood, and yet… 

“I should marry him.” Jael said, resolute after Aziraphale had sent them away, promising to think it over. 

Crawly ground his teeth together. 

“Now, Jael, consider this carefully–” Aziraphale began, but she shook her head. 

“Noah’s grandchildren are all too young for me, and Amos is the oldest of ours, and he’s still too young and… like a brother, nearly. The others here, they’re all of an age where they’ll have choices, but this– this is mine. If I want a family of my own– oh, not that you aren’t!” She broke off, sounding distraught, and threw herself at Crawly, who, having grown used to this over the years, caught her easily and held her. 

“Of course we will always be your family.” Aziraphale told her gently, stepping in close to stroke her hair and exchange a significant look with Crawly over her shoulder. “I only think– you may feel pressure to do this, but… we won’t make you. And we won’t allow Noah or his family to either. If you want to take the time to get to know him before you make a decision…” Aziraphale trailed off, clearly hoping Crawly would take over.

“As you said, Jael, this is your choice. And though it may not feel like much of one… if it’s not a good fit, if there’s no love, if you will be miserable with him, then… not marrying is an option too, alright? There are enough others, and we could always use your help here– this isn’t a burden you have to bear. You don’t have to marry, you don’t have to have children. I understand wanting to, but…”

“But if I want to, my choice is Ham or giving up on what I want.” Jael said, pulling back a bit. “Will you… talk to them? You treat us differently than they treat their wives, I– I don’t even know any of their names.” 

It was true; the women of Noah’s camp were more traditionally raised, and tended not to speak when the strangers were around, unless instructed to, or unless it was necessary. They didn’t have much insight into their married lives, but it did seem to be a story of obedience and inequality. Which was the norm, but… 

But that was not how they had treated their girls. 

“We’ll talk to them. We’ll explain. Remember, for all that you feel like he is your only option? Our family is their family’s only choice if they don’t want to die out. That gives us some advantage.” Crawly gave her one of his more threatening smiles, which seemed to reassure her greatly. 

“I think the fathers usually work out an agreement, anyway. The men of our village used to barter their daughters for livestock or gold– a brideprice, they called it. If you make my good treatment part of the bargain… I just want to be sure that I can come back, if it’s… if it’s not good.” 

“We’ll have you help us to write up the agreement, if and when the time comes for that.” Aziraphale promised. “Like I said, we will always be your family, and Crawly and I have sworn to keep you safe. That won’t change no matter where you are living or who you marry or don’t. Get to know him, my dear. Don’t be hasty.” 

She nodded, and stood up, pulling away from Crawly completely now to wipe at her eyes. 

“Thank you.” She told them both, and took a deep breath. “Yes, I’d like to– will you make the arrangements?” 

They did. And Crawly chaperoned, alongside Japheth, standing back and watching as the two walked through the greenery that had been growing these past seven years. 

“They make a handsome pair.” Japheth offered, to break the silence while Crawly strained to hear the conversation. 

“Hm. They could,” He responded. “It really depends if she decides she likes him or not.” 

“You know, my wife did not originally like me very much.” Japheth said. “Her father liked our family, though, and look how that turned out. We have four children, and she survived the flood. Her father was a wise man.” 

Crawly turned a narrow eyed glare on the other man.“I am not her father, and she survived the flood without one. She is wise enough to make her own choices. And I will not have her resenting me, or Ham, or her children, if they have them, for forcing her into a position she didn’t choose.” 

Japheth looked shocked at that, and kept his sour faced expression all the way until he and his brother left. 

“Whatever did you say to that man?” Aziraphale asked, once they were gone, his old habit of suspicion and blame still strong. Crawly was used to it now, though it stung, and Crawly snorted to hide it. 

“I told him that I wouldn’t force Jael into marrying his brother, and I doubted his wife appreciated the way her father did it to her.”

Aziraphale sighed. “Well, you’re right, but you really oughtn’t have said so. I’m fairly sure she and Shem’s wife have an understanding of their own worked out, and I hope Japheth doesn’t become overly observant because of this.” 

Crawly felt a slight pang, but covered it with an almost vicious glee. 

“Let him. We’ll take them in as well, and corner the market on women who won’t put up with their shit.” 

Jael tittered, and Aziraphale shot them both unimpressed Looks. 

“Well,” she volunteered, “I explained to Ham that I was raised to ask questions, and find better ways of doing things, and to say no, and if he didn’t like that, then there was no match here for him. He listened, and seemed to understand. He asked me about you-- I didn’t tell him what you are, don’t worry, but... they’re confused, I think. It may take some time.” 

Aziraphale took her hand and held it, his face softening and voice gentle as he reiterated their support. “You take all the time you need. We’ll make sure they give it to you.” 

She smiled and ducked her head, and Crawly was just glad that they had been able to change this-- for a few generations, at least, things would be better for their daughters. 

Ham and Jael were married two springs later, and while Noah had been confused at it taking so long, it made more sense once Jael had relocated to their camp. 

And with the foals they’d traded for early on now old enough to carry them, and Fate still with them, Jael’s presence broke the metaphorical seal, and suddenly their camps were more united. The children and adults alike made the trip back and forth for visits, and to trade, and to gossip and play games. 

Their families interwove slowly over time, and they built houses closer and closer together, until it was practically one long town that had sprung up between their original settlements. 

Jael’s firstborn was fourteen when the last of the original arklings married- Samuel and Grace had been infants when they were plucked from the waves, but now they were in the process of building a home of their own. 

And Crawly realized that they were nearing the end of their time playing family. 

Of course they would remain near the humans, but... their house was all but empty now, and they had no need of care from their children, the way Noah did. 

Hell had begun sending signs, wanting him to come back and make reports, and he was sure Heaven wouldn’t be far behind. 

They’d fulfilled their promise. The children were safe, and grown, knew how to care for themselves and one another, how to grow and build and cook and survive. 

Crawly had not felt so heavy hearted since he’d first woken after his fall, and he shook his head and turned to Aziraphale. 

“I think... I have to go.” He told him quietly. 

Their children lived away now, but they still were around, visiting together and reminiscing among their old beds, in the too large room.

Aziraphale looked at him, and seemed both shocked and hurt. Crawly nodded at the pentagram burned into the wood of a nearby beam. 

“If I don’t go, they’ll come here looking. None of us wants that.” 

Aziraphale seemed somewhat mollified by this, but he still looked uncertain. 

“You mean to leave me here with them... alone?” He asked, and Crawly snorted, remembering how he’d asked something similar on the ark, when he’d gone in search of a hiding spot for their stowaways. 

“You can manage.” He answered. “You know what you’re doing, now.” 

He didn’t say how they didn’t need them-- Aziraphale must know, and he didn’t want to see the wounded expression back on his face. 

“I’ll be back when I can, but it might do to lay low for a while. Make myself scarce. Go see who else is still out there, elsewhere on Earth. So Down There doesn’t get any good ideas about me doing something I don’t want to to this lot.” 

Aziraphale swallowed and looked away, composing himself before he answered. 

“Rather.” he said finally, quietly, and turned to offer Crawly his hand. “This has been-- I wouldn’t have expected it but... thank you. For everything, these past years.” 

It seemed like both too much and too little, and Crawly knew he had no words up to the challenge of answering. 

He took Aziraphale’s hand, and, flashing a quick smile, turned suddenly into a snake, laughing as Aziraphale dropped him in surprise. 

“Tell the kids I said ssso long.” He requested, slithering away, and he thought he heard Aziraphale answer, but he didn’t stick around to find out. He knew that if he did-- if he looked back-- if he hesitated at all-- he would never be able to leave.