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quillomens · 5 years

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I agree with the general consensus that there are definite differences between the book boys and the show boys as regards ineffable husbands, but to me they are exactly the same people in different circumstances They are differentiated not by personalities, but by an intrinsic shift in their lives: the relationship they have with heaven and hell. If you took book boys and had them live in the tv world from day one, tv boys are exactly who they would be, and vice versa.

It’s clear in the book that Heaven pays very little attention to Aziraphale. He shows almost no concern about pissing heaven off beyond his desire to believe that heaven is good and therefore right - at least on the surface (”I have to do what I’m told!” he complains as he gets drunk with a demon yet again while hiding among his hoard in the back of a bookshop that has nothing to do with being an angel). It’s more lip service than a deep belief, given how much time he spends hanging around with an openly building a friendship with a demon and how little time he appears to spend in the modern day actually doing his job. In fact, the only interaction Aziraphale has with another angel in the book is Metatron, and that takes a lot of work. No angels just pop in on him. Left to his own devices, Aziraphale has settled comfortably into who he is: soft, trying very hard to be and appear kind, but also a hoarder and a bit of a bitch. He’s developed interests that are in no way associated with doing angelic work, and he enjoys and luxuriates in them guilt-free.

Book!Hell, meanwhile, is less predictable. Sure, Crowley is mostly left to his own devices, but he also puts more emphasis on having a job to do, filing paperwork, an implication of meeting quotas. You get a sense that, even if he’s not particularly respected by the average demon, he is of enough interest to keep an eye on, and that eye has definite expectations. He deals with this by doing his job to a level of acceptability, but not to a level of genius that will bring notice he doesn’t want. He’s smart, he’s cagey, he’d good at his job; he’s also jumpy from being surveilled, a bit at odds with his job (low level mayhem and clever schemes clearly amuse him, but he doesn’t want to be capital E Evil and that’s what he’s really MEANT to be, isn’t it?). So you get this wonderful mishmash of who Crowley is and the human he pretends to be, much less settled in himself, but perfectly content with the fact that his best friend is a bitchy angel. He’s curious and experimental in his own way.

But TV!Heaven and Hell are completely different. They watch. They pay attention. They threaten, they punish. Where the book boys have been left more to their own devices, the tv boys live in constant fear. This is especially true of Aziraphale; while I don’t personally see evidence that he is afraid of Falling, he is definitely afraid of being punished, and bullied, and of being wrong. If he does exactly as heaven tells him (something Book Az appears to have wriggled out of by being ignored) and what they tell him is wrong, then he is a Bad Person. And no Aziraphale wants to be a Bad Person. TV Az does the same thing his book self does: creates a soft and approachable appearance. But unlike book Az, TV Az always has to counter this with pretending to hate Crowley, with toeing the line, with living a secret, with constantly doubting himself, with bosses who are distressingly unpredictable but most definitely present. Sure, he’s still a bitch deep down, but he isn’t FREE to show that. And, in addition to that, it is VERY clear that he is in constant fear of what Hell will do to Crowley. More than once, the fear he says aloud isn’t about him falling or even heaven’s punishments (they send strongly worded letters, after all, not death), it’s about the fact that hell will destroy Crowley. And if his one friend is found out and punished with actual death, it will be his fault. So he denies his feelings for what he sees as Crowley’s sake (and yes, out of fear for himself as well).

No wonder he’s a bit neurotic, anxious, etc. Book!Az has found a place in the world that is quiet and has routine and is under his full control. TV!Az doesn’t have that.

TV Crowley also has hell on his ass but, hey, he is GOOD at his job. Someone clearly appreciates his work, since he delivers the antichrist. He’s nervous about hell, yes, enough to ask for Holy Water from his best friend/love interest, but while Aziraphale deals with increased scrutiny by closing in on himself, Crowley deals with it by acting out. Book Crowley is more cagey because he has more freedom to protect; Crowley puts on the act of the Really Damn Good Demon because it keeps him safe. He sends memos about his genius. He takes credit for things that disgust him. But he’s also more aggressively himself: experimental with gender concepts’???/, not limited to human ideas (Book Crowley wants to appear to be a certain kind of human to fly under the radar; TV Crowley is aggressively himself to be untouchable), he likes black and his Bentley and screaming at his plants (though it is a darker sort of screaming, out of fear, and being kept at arm’s length, and being bad in the eyes of the being he loves), and big productions that create low level evil at a very wide level.

But while Crowley is acting out to make himself safe, Aziraphale keeps Crowley safe by closing in, and that’s what leads to the frustration and pining book boys don’t have to deal with. Aziraphale has to say Crowley is bad, and Crowley lies, and Crowley is a demon, because if Hell (or Heaven, who would certainly tattle) found out they are friends, Crowley would be destroyed and Az would be punished. But Crowley hears this, and he thinks, sometimes, that Aziraphale believes it, and where is the line between Crowley and The Demon Crowley? Why can’t Aziraphale see it?

Book Boys have more freedom to be friends without constant fear, and so their friendship is a settled, old married sort of thing. When they figure things out, it’s a realization, not a terror.

TV Boys are in constant danger, under scrutiny from uncaring bosses, and their friendship is literally the most dangerous thing in their lives (and yet they continue, because they Know, and they can’t give it up, and they are much more defiant and brave than they believe). So when they figure things out, it’s terrifying, until their circumstances change, and they have freedom to be and find themselves.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens meta #tv good omens #book good omens #quill rants #I just love them both but they are AUs of each other #Our grand fanfiction slow burn bless Mr. Gaiman #And of course #the times they were written in and live in #have so much to do with this #what the world was in 1989 #what the world is in 2018 #politics and money #BUT ANYWAY #Aziraphale is not neurotypical and poor tv Az has so little control and safety in his life

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topaziraphale · 4 years

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the same people who hc aziraphale as being weak/not being a warrior are the same people who LOVE crowley being this super suave tempter. hello, the whole POINT of good omens is that they are neither of what they are expected to be. aziraphale rejects his role as a warrior, but that does not mean he is weak. crowley's job is to be a this suave, amazing tempter, but meanwhile he's just Anxious. aziraphale is Strong and crowley is a tempter, its just not in the way their sides want them to be.

I think a big part that plays into the charm of these two main characters is exactly that - at first, you have certain ideas for how an angel and demon character might act, especially with how they’re normally depicted in pop culture and stuff, but then you quickly learn that they’re just not quite what you’re expecting. Aziraphale and Crowley both subvert the audience’s expectations of them as well as what is expected of them by the other characters - in this case, Heaven and Hell respectively.

This actually ended up being way longer of an answer than I thought it would, so I’m putting the rest of it under a cut. For those that don’t feel like reading it all and just want a summary:

I basically talk about how Crowley puts up an element of coolness and style in what he does as a demon except for when it comes to direct temptations, and then I offer a little mini-dive into his psyche and how there’s a lot of vulnerability underneath his Cool And Definitely Not-Nice persona. Then I talk about how Aziraphale is in fact a soldier of Heaven, one who is capable of being a warrior, and how him not wanting to fight in the war is not a display of weakness, but rather one of great strength.

Also, all of the quotes I use here are from memory, so there’s a chance some of them aren’t exact.

When Crowley does his job, he does it with elements of coolness and style to it. (Note: What he perceives as cool, because some of the stuff he finds cool is actually kinda dorky. In a lovable way, of course.) But that’s for when he has his next big idea on how to generate petty low-grade evil. It’s how we end up with him cutting off a phone network by infesting a building with rats and using the guise of a technician to waltz in there and pour coffee into a cable-box-thingy, rather than him just snapping his fingers and making the networks go down that way. The ladder method is boring and not very cool.

But you’ll notice he doesn’t approach direct temptations the same way. I can see where one might think he puts as much effort into being cool and suave when it comes to making temptations, due to the way he presents himself, but honestly, all he really does is just make you see something in a different light. He just, talks. Talks and makes really good points.

“What about diabolical plans? You’re supposed to thwart the wiles of the wicked one at every turn, aren’t you? You can’t be certain that thwarting me isn’t part of the Divine Plan?”

“If there was no boy, then the process would stop. There’s a boy now, but that could change. Something could happen to him. I’m saying you could kill him. One life, for everything else.”

There’s no suave element in the way he does it, not much finesse. No extra fluff. He’s just saying what needs to be said, to make sure his idea is getting across. And it’s also fun to note that these acts of temptation are for Aziraphale - in fact, I don’t think we see him tempt humans at all after Eve. He’d rather set up elaborate schemes to ruin peoples’ days over actively participate in an act that could directly damn their souls.

Sometimes, you have to wonder why he goes through so much effort to be this way when he knows that he’ll get in trouble for not doing his job...

Crowley puts up a front that he’s confident and content with what he is and the job he has to do. He always tries to play the act of a cool, stylish, perfect demon that is mean and evil and most definitely not a nice person. But we can see that underneath it all, he never meant to fall, and he’s still upset about it. He still doesn’t understand why it happened for what he did, and he knows he never will. He doesn’t like that the answer for it all is always chalked up to: It’s part of the Great Plan. We see him project the wrath of God onto his houseplants. We see him directly call out the nature of the Plan more than once, in the show.

I’ll even argue that he’s somewhat projecting onto Adam and Eve when he talks about how God punished them in the garden, when he first speaks to Aziraphale: “Bit of an overreaction, if you ask me. First offense, and everything.”

Aziraphale, being an angel, is clearly part of the army of Heaven and is expected in battle. We even get reminded of this by the many times people ask him where the flaming sword is, and by Gabriel telling him he’s a mean, lean, fighting-machine. And once more when the Quartermaster informs him that his platoon is waiting for him - they wouldn’t be waiting for him if he wasn’t their lieutenant. The script book even implies his strength and power. To paraphrase the line:

“He’s not threatening him (Crowley) with it (the flaming sword), just reminding him that he can do dangerous and very out-of-character things if he needs to.”

And in the novel itself, it’s implied that after all this time, Aziraphale still has what it takes to fight if he absolutely must, when he picks up the sword in preparation to fight off Satan himself.

“Once you’ve learned how to do it, you never forget.”

There’s no reason to think he doesn’t easily have the ability to be a warrior. And not only a warrior, but a strong one, at that.

Here’s the thing with Aziraphale: he doesn’t want to participate in this fight. He thinks it’s wrong, but he can’t admit it to himself, he can’t just outright say it. He jumps through plenty of mental hoops to try and find reason in the fact that Heaven wants Armageddon to happen.- he thinks his people might just be misguided, their intentions are good, sure, but he wants to show them that this way is better, that there doesn’t need to be another war, that they can save everyone. The beings of Heaven are always Good, right? For him to fully admit that what he thinks they’re doing is wrong is to also admit the flaws of his own angelic nature, that he’s just as capable of wrong, and that’s a terrifying thought. Look at how desperately he wants it all to work out:

But when push came to shove, and the entire world was at stake, and Heaven was all for it to happen despite Aziraphale’s efforts to show them otherwise, he had enough. He chose to not go back to Heaven to fight in the war. He chose to try and save the world, despite his actions being perceived as going directly against the Great Plan. In the series, he literally puts his foot down, looks the Quartermaster in the eye, and tells him: “I have no intention of fighting in any war. I was in the middle of something important, I demand to be returned!” And when nobody was helping him, he went and figured out how to get back himself. He finally had the strength to choose for himself what he thought was right over what was wrong.

I get confused and, even sometimes think to myself, Did we watch the same show?, when I see people interpret Aziraphale’s reluctance to fight as a sign of weakness or passiveness. That very decision he makes, after millennia of not daring to defy his superiors like that, took a lot of courage. It’s quite literally the heart of his character arc.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #derpy answers #good omens meta #i have no idea how i ended up ranting but here we are lol #you definitely got more than you bargained for when sending this ask anon im sorry skdjfskdjghs #derpy analyses

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kanene-yaaay-o-retorno · 4 years

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Just like any other night

Kanene’s Notes: Sugar! /0/

Spice! \0\

And everything nice! \0/

To create the perfect fluff

But Kanene accidentally (unless...)

Added an extra ingredients to the concoction--

Angst!!

*Explosion*

*Evil crackling*

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* This characters don’t belongs to me! Good Omens belongs to the incredible Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett; Aaaand the characters of this fic (and AU) themselves belongs to @10yrsyart

* Read here to know the AU Ducks and Dolphins and click here to see everything cannon about the D+D. It’s f a n t a s t i c! Reaaad! ^w^)s2

* I didn’t really asked a permission by myself, but this post kind of give permission to write about the AU? (I really hope so xDDD), so, if you also want to write about them please don’t be ashamed ! (And give credits, pleaaaase! :D)

* Something around 1.200 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any and every advice is very very welcome! \(-w-)/

* This is not cannon. This idea just came because everytime I thought in a fluff, plots of Az cheering up Crow were all that appeared, soooo I tried to challenge me a little and make the opposite. I hope I managed to demonstrate even a little bit of their personality (and don’t have misunderstanding them) well!

* Fanfic em português brasileiro daqui á pouco Thankys for reading, my lollipops! I hope you enjoy this day! Hug a demon, hug an angel and don’t forget to drink water!! Byeioo!~

[~*~]

Aziraphale is calm, stoic, precise, bold, moralistic, firm, direct and ruthless if necessary. He is also sincere, generous, comprehensive, limpid and kind. He is as a pillar, a base. Something concrete, someone who you can lean on for support, trust, belief.

He knows very well how separate his work from his personal life. His feelings from his mind. He is rational, leaded primary by his brain and not-

And n-not-

(Come on. Control your breath. Control yourself. One… two…three…)

In any way, under absolutely no circumstances by his feeli-

(Focus. Focus on something, something, some- a book! Take one of the books. Right. Very well. Focus!)

…

Damn.

His breath came out a little weaker, shaking. He tightened his grip in the fabric of his pants, closing his blue eyes and trying to focus on his own heartbeat, which seemed to reverberate in his dry throat, attempting to correct his breathing with its.

Inhaled and exhaled. Inhaled and exhaled. Rested his head against the couch, sinking a little deeper into it. Some part of himself was thankful that it was already night, which meant the bookstore were closed and there was no danger of an incident.

There was no danger.

He settled back a little more on the furniture, held the book again, with a little firmer grip than needed as he readjusted it to a more comfortable position where there would be no danger in his thick, warm tears researching its pages, eventually falling and blurring the words of its lovely sentences.

At least it was night, a night just like any other night bathered in a weather of every other nights where there would be no incidents.

“Angel…?”

… Damn.

Crow approached closer to the upright, perfect posed form, seeking his eyes and staring deeply into them, their gold glittering in the night pitch. Az didn’t tried to hide these vulnerable moments, at least not anymore, but neither did he showed them when they became present. His voice came out a little faltering, yet in the calm and characteristic tune he always had.

“Crow, dear, I thought you were already sleeping.”

“I just woke up for a cup of tea.”

They both knew this was a lie, still none of them really mentioned such information when the one with dark hair as the ebony of the night, a night just as any other one, removed the book of his carefully manicured hands and held them for a moment, intertwining their fingers as he got closer enough to finally entwining him in a hug. He loosened the hold for a brief second, only to position the angel’s head on his shoulder, and then tightly hug him again. It was as he was trying to show that nothing, on Earth, Hell or Heaven, would be able to hurt the angel without going over him, first.

It might seemed as any other previous hug, if it wasn’t for the fabric of his pajamas getting gradually wetter and the slight shivers and sniffles that slipped from the mouth of the one with blonde, almost white, hair. His cry was silently, and for a light of moment, Crow remembered his own cry, which could be described as any other, just a bit louder and with rumpled clothes.

He shook lightly his head, focusing in the present, in the possibilities, the sentences and words that would be said after the storm. His mind felt lethargic and yet running in full speed almost at the same time. Crow combed Az’s hair and gave small, but big in meaning, pecks in his neck without even noticing.

The time itself lost meaning in this piece of time.

A hand tapped softly his back and his head slightly lifted. It was the signal to break the touch, and it was promptly obeyed.

“Do you want to talk about this?” His voice was a special whisper, packed, designated and delivered to just only one being in the entire universe.

“There is nothing to be said.” Even with everything, his voice still lacked major flaws or slips. It was made of a calm, sad nature. “It is just…” And the owner of hundreds of books, reader for thousands years and maestro of words ended up losing himself in them.

‘It’s just…’ Crow wondered if even the humans, at some point of their existence, could understand all the feelings and sensations between the lines that this phrase could possess.

Probably.

Everyone does, in some way or another, doesn’t it?

The black-haired never paid much attention to time, especially after such thing already fulfilled its basic function of lead him as far as possible from that particular century. However, this day, he almost could see the sand of hourglass pouring grain-by-grain as he let the angel running his fingers through his hair, pressing his back on the blonde’s sweater and stroking the back of the other’s hand with his thumb. His warmth and presence were the necessary reminders that Az needed to focus on the here, in the Bookstore rocked by this ordinary night, and now, with the best company he could ever wish to be.

A piece more of time was spent. Maybe two, three, and perhaps a little more.

…

“We should go out.”

“What are you rambling about, Crow love? We always go out.”

“No. I mean… for something different! Not just a lunch.”

“A day to just wander, you mean?”

“Maybe.” Shrugged, pondering, his tongue absently wriggling in the ar. Az tightened a bit more the touch, feeling lighter as allowed his mind travel and dance between some possibilities for the future meaning of this conversation. “We should make a picnic!”

“A picnic?’

“Yes! In any place, nearby or far away! We could take the food or milacre it there. I can give you a ride.”

His head turned, his heart floating and expanding when he saw that the trail of tears had faded from his husband’s face, and now the red was also beginning to gradually leave his skin.

Az pondered for a few minutes, eyes gleamming.

“I don’t think I’ve ever married at a picnic before.” Smiled, and part of his soul melted with the beauty in the other’s happy expression, along with the smile that also was painted in the demon’s face, he was absolutely sure.

“Let me tempt you, then.” Crow hissed, carrying on their internal joke, since they, after their last wedding-lunch, decided that from now on there would be no more dates, only weddings.

Az raised an eyebrow, giving him a playful disbelief look. Their foreheads met. The angel closed his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling a light, which came neither from the stars, cars, poles and nor the living room lamp, little by little filling his being.

“I love you, Aziraphale.” Their eyes met.

“I love you too, my husband.”

Perhaps they had spent some time like this, in silence, enjoying themselves. Perhaps they had slowly moved away right after the talk, holding hands, a warm feeling in their chest. Who really knows? It is a moment only for them, so let it be.

“The preparations should be started, then!” The one with blue limpid eyes, now up, excitedly leaded to the kitchen. “Milacre a massive amount of food certainly would alert your side just as mine, so, I believe the best option we got is cook by our own.”

Crow scowled, which evolved to as annoyed expression as received the lightly incisive and inquisitive look from the other, puffing up his cheeks and deviating the glare as he dispirited followed his steps into the other room.

“Fffffffine.” Gave up of the dream to sleep that night. However, deep inside, he knew worth it just to watch the blonde-haired angel calmly, excited walking his eyes and fingers through the Recipe Books were under his care. Urg. The sacrifices that must be made. “But I’m not using a patterned apron!”

And the cars drove through the streets, the stars hardly glowed in the sky and the worlds kept not an even bit silent during that sunless hours, just as any other night of any other day. Nevertheless, on that store, more specifically a Bookstore, at that moment and for those two, maybe this wasn’t a common night anymore, and would definitely lead to a day not even a little ordinary, either.

A recipe book was open, some bright smiles (maybe trying to help the stars?) too.

“Sure, my dear. I would never…” replied Az, trying to decide which color would most highlight Crow’s duck patterned pajamas.

#Good Omens AU #Ineffable Husbands #Crow #Az #Ducks and Dolphins #fluff and angst #Hurt/Comfort #Fluff #Angst #They're so lovely <3 #Alternative Universe #Picnic #D+D AU #Oneshot #Kanene's Fanfic #Kanene's Art #Reposting because I'm gonna delete this from my other account #<33

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fuckyeahisawthat · 5 years

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good omens

GAH. I just finished it and I immediately want to watch it again. Ideally in big chunks, because I feel like the tone and pacing does suffer from being broken up too much.

I never read the book, so I have nothing to compare it to, but there were so many things I loved about it, and so many things I want/need to think about more and am gonna have more things to say about, including but not limited to:

1. The fact that the only thing Heaven and Hell willingly and openly collaborate on is executions

2. The way that the angels, the supposed good guys with their ineffable plans and Greater Good, behave and think in some very specific ways that look an awful lot like the ways humans committing real-life evil behave on Earth. (Someone remind me to write a whole post about this.)

3. The foreshadowing of the hellfire/holy water ending with the fire in the bookstore and the holy water in Crowley’s flat

4. The fact that Aziraphale has made himself a comfortable nest of old books and delightful human things but Crowley’s flat, despite having some sick art in it, still looks a hell of a lot like...well, Hell. Except for, y’know, that one room that looks like Eden.

5. The fucking scene with Crowley and fucking his plants just murdered me, and probably would have even if I hadn’t read the Crowley go to therapy post before watching this episode. I can see how a different actor could give this scene, with the exact same dialogue, a much more broadly comedic tone, but the way Tennant plays it it’s just so fucking sad. (May end up writing another post about this one too.)

6. The fact for all their multi-millennium romance of deeds they’ve got going on, Az and Crowley hardly ever touch, even in a casual, friendly way. (I gotta watch for this on rewatch but this is my recollection.) Which means, obviously, that any touch is going to be extra loaded, but also means that Tennant and Sheen generated that on-screen chemistry almost solely with their ability to cast fucking professional-level hearteyes when the other one wasn’t looking.

7. The way Adam talks about making the world anew and while it doesn’t happen that way, so many characters get a new beginning by the end. Adam gets to be a normal human boy. Anathema chooses a life not bound at every turn by prophecies. Even friggin Shadwell and Madame Tracy get a nice little cottage somewhere together. And of course Aziraphale and Crowley get their chance at a life together on Earth.

8. Biblical Adam with the flaming sword at the beginning/present-day Adam with the flaming sword at the end. The idea that Aziraphale giving Adam the sword (War’s sword) in the beginning could be implied, I think, to be giving humans the capacity for war, and the human kids use the sword to defeat War and the other horsemen in the end.

9. The immense amount of sympathy they’re able to maintain for the fucking Antichrist even when he’s terrorizing his own friends. A lot is on the acting and good casting (that kid is amazing) but it’s the writing, too. Like, he’s just a kid, he didn’t want or choose this, he seems as much a victim of cosmic fate as anything, but he also has agency and the ability to control and use his power for subversive ends.

10. I gotta think some more about the role God as a narrator plays in a story where certain characters are frequently talking to God, beseeching God, trying to determine what God’s intentions are. Is she narrating this to us after the fact? Is she watching events unfold and talking about them as they happen? I also feel like there are long stretches where God goes silent and I need to pay more attention on a second rewatch to where these are.

#good omens #good omens spoilers

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obaewankenope · 5 years

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TW FOR SELF HARM:. After reading your last writing I went feral over the idea of Crowley disappearing for periods of time and Az worrying about him so consider Crowley starts seeming more and more bedraggled and snippy every time they see each other, then doesn't show up to the bookstore for a few weeks. Az worries more and more until he gets hit with a train of pain and misery and realizes that Crowley is depressed and in danger. Az finds Crowley in his flat, feathers ripped out and eyes wild-

-wild, in a full blown panic attack. Crowley won’t let Az near him so he has to calm the demon down from afar. Eventually it comes out that all this is because Crowley hates what he is (demon/fallen angel) due to what Hell and Heaven have done and simply wants the pain and misery to end. He had hoped that with his ugly black feathers gone, he could find redemption or, at least, peace. ~fucker

You, you are a monster and I love it so much omg ps go and shout at iggysfanblog for this Angsty AF Fic lmao

Trigger warning: self-harm, mutilation, wing abuse, depression, suicidal ideation, suicidal apathy.

Angelof the crooked wings

Title comes from Antiphon forthe Angels by Hildegard VonBingen

Crowley has always hated his job. Not because he’sa bad demon—sort of the job description, being bad—but because he’s not alwaysin the mood to commit Evil Acts and Evil Acts only. He’s a good Tempter and an evenbetter Thinker Upper Of Plans but being a demon didn’t give him thoseskills or make him so good at them. Neither had being an angel. They were justpart of him; Crowley. The core personality so to speak. Everything else wasjust dressings and trimmings to make him look Fancier and Mightier and Holierand Unholier depending on the uniform required for the job.

Once upon a time he’d had white wings—to the humaneye at least; they were really every colour in existence because angels wereeverything too—and he’d found them to be both beautiful and very constrictingin a confusing way. It’s an absurd feeling when one has wings capable offlight, but one Crowley feels, nonetheless. For celestial and infernal beings,feeling trapped when possessing wings is about as crazy as defying heaven andhell to preserve one little mudball full of evolved monkeys.

Naturally then, Crowley excels at it in the sameway he excels at saving humanity; disastrously.

Read on AO3 or below:

Fallinghad been an impulsive act by Crowley; sort of a “maybe this will change thisfeeling” kind of thinking. To be fair, it had. It’d changed a lot of otherthings—turning his wings black had been an aesthetic choice to hide the faintscarring from the ten-thousand-mile free-fall and the boiling sulphur he’d onlybriefly landed in [1]—butit didn’t really change the sense of feeling penned in all the time. In heavenit had been rules and regulations and expectations and not thinking or askingquestions. In hell it was the same just with a bit more give if you could liewell.

Crowleylies exceptionally well [2].

Before the Fall, Crowley had felt like he’d beentrapped in a hamster cage that wasn’t designed for housing a rabbit. After theFall, it’d been like he’d been re-homed in a larger space that didn’t look likea cage but was. It’d just took him a little while to find the edges. Thetrapped feeling always returned.

When Crowley had first met Aziraphale—just anotherangel in the Garden back then—he hadn’t expected the feeling of Relief that theangel had elicited in him. His wings had revealed themselves against hiswill—something he controlled ruthlessly from then on—and the angel had shieldedhim from the First Rain. The angel felt as trapped as Crowley to the demon’ssenses but, whereas Crowley was aware of his predicament, Aziraphale seemedinnocently unaware of how trapped he was. Crowley wasn’t sure such a situationwas a blessing or a curse. Six thousand years later and Crowley still isn’tsure.

The only changes from Falling for Crowley wereillusionary at best. His eyes were aChoice He Made Himself and not a visual sign of punishment for rebelling.Crowley hadn’t rebelled, not really. He’d just taken the last train out ofheaven and hitched a free ride to hell. Desertion. That’s it. Crowley haddeserted heaven, not rebelled against it. Completely different. So he gained a new employer who was abitter ex-employee of their parent company, it was all the same in thelong-run.

From angel to demon, a simple enough transitionthat gave Crowley a little more rope with which to hang himself.

Whenever Crowley is with Aziraphale, his entirebeing is released, the trapped feeling fading away to a faint buzz rather thanthe constant klaxon sounding in his mind. Unfortunately, however, Crowley hasnever been able to just be around Aziraphale all the time.That’s why he’d come up with The Arrangement. Mutually beneficial—as it reducedtravel commitments and such—it offered Crowley the easy excuse to check in onAziraphale whenever the klaxon became Too Much. It worked fantastically enough,until 1862 when Crowley had asked the angel for holy water and set off anargument he hadn’t intended to start. Over sixty years of not seeing Aziraphalewould have been impossible for Crowley to endure had he not slept for most ofit. He’d needed the sleep to escape the klaxon that got louder and louder thelonger he didn’t see Aziraphale. But then the Blitz happened and the church andthat damned bomb and- it was like they’d never argued. It was there, of course,but it didn’t make it impossible to see each other and Crowley had dropped bythe bookshop like clockwork running on a decade chime instead of hourly. Eventhe 70s hadn’t caused more issues for them, even with the- the- what- theangel’s rebuke. Yeah…

Then it had all gone to shit when Crowley had beengiven the “honour” of delivering the End Of The World and for almost a decade,the demon had been in near constant contact with Aziraphale for an entiredecade. It had done something to him—weakened him in some inexplicable way—butit was the week before the world ended that broke him. Fightingwith Aziraphale, losing him to discorporation after threats from Hastur to killhim, facing down a wall of fire, and then his own boss—and ex-employer—didsomething that Crowley fears cannot be undone.

Something he knows cannot be undone.

Wings—now inky black by choice—itch and shiftrestlessly no matter what Crowley does. Whether he’s with Aziraphale or not,the blaring alarm of TRAPPED! TRAPPED! TRAPPED! sounds on a loop. Thesense of being caged rears its head every time a primary moves, a secondarytwitches. It’s suffocating him, leaves his heart pounding like it’s trying toescape his chest, his lungs tight and constricted by bands of steel evertightening and denying his body air.

Seeing Aziraphale makes him twitch and want to clawhis skin off, smash windows and cut into his chest and slice out his heart andjust be done with it. The urge is stronger and stronger the longer he’s aroundAziraphale after the Not End so he visits the bookshop less.

Part of it is fear, that much Crowley knows. Fearof what exactly eludes him however. Not knowing tightens the bandsacross his chest more and makes his skull feel like it’s crushing his brain asthough it was in a vice. Every time he sees his wings out of the corner of hiseye—whether they’re manifested on the physical plane or just there on theastral plane that humans aren’t really built to see or interact with—Crowleywants to hiss and swipe at them; lashing out at the one constant he’s ever hadin his life.

Hiswings may be black now but that had been an intentional choice onCrowley’s part. White was the colour of heaven. The opposite then would be forhell. White makes every colour there is, black is made of those colours; itdevours them. Perfectly fitting for a demon. But his wings are Divine and havealways been part of him; Crowley cannot remember a single moment where he didnot have them [3]. They’re a part of him thathe wants to hate because he doesn’t Belong Anywhere and they’re areminder of that fact. The once represented the Divine then Infernal and now…now they’re just There and he loathes them [4].

The first feather he tears out between moultselicits a wonderful feeling of power. It doesn’t hurt for more than amoment, feels more like a particularly sharp scratch on sensitive skin but itgrants him something Crowley hesitates to call relief. He doesn’t think there’sreally a word he can use to describe what he feels after. The second and thirdfeathers are coverts like the first, torn out after he flees the bookshop whenAziraphale gives him such an openly kind look it has Crowley’s heartpounding. It gives him just enough of a sharp slap to regain the control overhis body that slipped away. But pulling coverts is like trying to staunch anarterial wound with a tissue; it’s just Not Enough.

The first primary he plucks is… a lot more painful.Wonderfully painful. He feels like he’s torn off a fingernail with no warning.The rush of feeling that burns through him in time with the hot and coldnerve-destroying flashes is fantastical. His wing snaps close to his body,tucks itself up as small and close as it can as instinct draws the injured appendageclose to him. Crowley finds that he can tolerate his wings when they’retrembling and twitching from pain and not- not whatever they usually twitchfrom. But, all too soon, the pain fades away, magic soothing the pain andturning it to a pale, ever weakening echo of the blanked-out agony it beganas. And, just like with the coverts, he pulls more and more of them astime goes on.

Aziraphalenever comments on his state though Crowley knows he notices. It’s not hard tosee really, what with the way Crowley looks like a human that hasn’t slept in amonth; skin paler than usual and a muted grey, hair lank and messy in a waythat speaks of lack of care rather than an aesthetic choice, clothing looserand worn and frayed like they’ve never been before. Crowley also knowsthe angel can see how close to his body he tucks his wings—so tightly againsthim that it looks as though he doesn’t have them anymore when he’s stood or sata certain way. But, although the angel sees it he never directly comments,Aziraphale does make pointed comments here and there: “you look like you coulduse a drink dear, I’ll make some tea; have a new type to try that apparentlyworks wonders for when you’re feeling down”, and “well this quilt is quitewarm, too warm for myself really, why don’t you have it—I know the sofa is in adraughty spot after all” and so on. Aziraphale is unlike Crowley in regard tohis wings—the angel uses them often even if they’re not visible on the physicalplane [5].

Eventually the release he experiences from pullinga feather or two here and there isn’t enough. It’s never enough. He chased thepain that each feather results in, plucking more and more from muscle and boneand tender flesh until Crowley’s wings are wrecked and destroyed by his ownhands. Even though the pain becomes constant, his magic just not enough tocontend with the aching burn that is like an undercurrent to everything, it’snot enough. He needs more. He needs-

Bones are easy to break if you know how to go aboutit. Crowley—unfortunately—does.

* * * * * * * *

Aziraphalefirst notices it about a month after the world failed to end—though it hadgiven it a good go what with the Kraken, fire and brimstone, the horsemenriding and all that stuff. Since then he’s become quite used to seeing Crowleyregularly—a new fixture in the bookshop, not unlike a particularly snippystatue that happens to walk, talk, and perform minor feats of evil for the sakeof it—compared to before the whole Influencing The Antichrist plan came about.The intermittent six thousand years of meetings here and there across the worldwere—for Aziraphale—quietly enjoyable. But when Crowley had suggested theyamend their Arrangement after the antichrist was born… Aziraphale admits nowthat he’d been tempted from the get-go [6].Throughout those eleven years Aziraphale saw Crowley regularly in the Dowlingresidence—tending to young Warlock with a surprisingly gentle manner—and thetwo immortal beings had retired to a shared cottage on the grounds; a sort oflodging house for full-time workers that had been miraculously occupied by onlythe two of them [7]. After all that,Aziraphale has to admit, he’s become quite used to Crowley always being around;so much so that when the demon starts to show up less and less, Aziraphalestarts to Worry with a capital W.

Hedoesn’t do anything about it at first, mostly because he’s not certain what he cando. Crowley is, after all, quite sensitive. Although Aziraphale will never saythat to the demon’s face—he values his books too much to offend thedemon to such a degree that Crowley would ruin several in recompense for theUnwanted Compliment—it is one of the attributes of Crowley thatAziraphale finds most appealing. That this demon is capable of committing greathorrors and instead chooses to petty temptings and chicanery to annoy humansinto choosing to sin; it is a far cry from the nature of other demonsAziraphale has met [8]. Crowley would deny itwith his last breath but the demon has a softer heart than Aziraphale everwill—the angel is quite aware that it was he and not Crowley who hadaimed a weapon at a child and hadn’t hesitated to fire after all; Aziraphale ismuch more capable of being ruthless than others would first believe [9].

Although Aziraphale doesn’t understand the appeal,he is aware that Crowley likes to sleep. Something about the lack ofconsciousness appeals to the demon just as much as drinking does—althoughAziraphale isn’t sure it’s for the same reasons. Aziraphale likes a drinkhimself—he doesn’t experience hangovers like humans, nor does his body start toshut down after too much alcohol as is the case for humans so mortifyingbehaviour is his only deterrent—but he knows Crowley uses alcohol todull his feelings. Considering how much kinder Crowley is than he should be fora demon, Aziraphale can at least comprehend why alcohol is such an appealingthing to the demon. Over the centuries, the angel has come across many a humanwho have lost themselves in their vices, trying to escape whatever haunts themin their waking hours. It is saddening to think that Crowley is like thosehumans with tortured souls.

Thedemon admitted to him once that he’d drank himself unconscious after receivinga commendation for the Spanish Inquisition [10].So it’s no surprise that Aziraphale is reasonably concerned that Crowley hasdrank himself into a stupor for some reason and that’s why he hasn’t been bythe bookshop [11]. He resolves to visit thedemon’s flat after closing the bookshop tonight—that he had never visitedbefore they averted Armageddon and he’d been homeless—and check up on Crowley.In a purely platonically friendly way of course.

However, when the wave of pain slams into him ashe’s sorting books on shelves that didn’t exist before Armageddon wascancelled, Aziraphale realises he should have acted much, much sooner.

Aziraphale is in the bookshop one moment and halfwayacross London in the next, appearing with a soft rustle of feathers in a darkflat he’s been in only once before. The pain washes through him, runs along hiswings and all the way down to the tips of his alulas, primaries and secondariesbefore it peters out in the coverts. He ignores it, rushing through the flattoward the sound of high-pitched, muffled keening that tears into the angelmore viciously than any pain ever has. The sight that greets him as he shovesthe bedroom door aside—possibly causing permanent damage to the hinges, notthat he particularly cares at that moment—is enough to stop Aziraphalein his tracks.

The sight- it would turn the stomachs of even themost soulless of demons.

There are few things that demons and angelsconsider to be sacred but wings are one of them. No angel touches anotherangel’s wings without permission. No demon harms another demon’s wings withoutpunishment. Between the two groups, injuries to wings are some of the mostserious taboo acts either side can commit in battle. Aziraphale has seen hardlymore than a dozen cases where wings have been harmed—and all of those wereduring the Rebellion led by Samael. Only She has every caused permanent harm tothe wings of her creations—the Fallen Ones—but even that harm pales incomparison to what Aziraphale sees now.

Like a bird, the wings of a Divine or Infernalcreature are delicate, designed for flight and do not take kindly tobeing injured. Although they’re delicate they can withstand a lot ofabuse—courtesy of them not being entirely physical or astral but a mixture ofthe two which enables a lot of leeway when it comes to injuries; also magic,but that’s a whole other explanation—but they do have their limits as towhat can and cannot be repaired without Divine Assistance.

Aziraphale fears that this is beyond even theDivine.

“Crowley!” Aziraphale cries out, voice soft andpained and bleeding worry. “Goodness Crowley, what happened?”

The angel approaches the demon quickly, reachingout to gently touch him but freezes when Crowley’s entire body twitches andflinches away from him.

“Don- Don’t touch me,” Crowley weakly croaks, anarm blindly flinging itself out from his curled-up form in the corner of theroom, nails black with blood, hands stained and Aziraphale’s heart feels likeit’s breaking in two. “Don’t—please don’t.”

“Okay Crowley, okay,” Aziraphale assures the demon,carefully lowering himself onto his haunches as close to the demon as Crowleywill allow him. “Wh- what happened—if you don’t mind my asking?”

The demon chokes out a laughand it’s seven different kinds of wrong because it sounds so, so broken. Ithurts Aziraphale just to hear. “H- had a bit- bit of- well, I had a bad day,angel.”

Bad day is… well it’s anunderstatement to say the least. Aziraphale stares at the demon that’s hidingin the corner of his own bedroom, blood and feathers everywhere, and the angelwants to just Wish It All Away. The pain he can feel emanating from Crowley in palpablewaves. The suffering that underlies the pain. The blood and feathers andsalty tears Crowley has shed without consent.

He wants to just Make ItBetter but Aziraphale knows that some things cannot simply be Wished Well.

“Well then, bad daysare—well—they’re bad, as the phrase suggests,” Aziraphale says, longing toreach out and at least touch Crowley on the arm but he doesn’t. Not whenCrowley seems to barely handle his presence in the room. “But bad days doend, dear.”

Crowley’s head rises alittle from where it’s sort of tucked between knees and covered with armsadorned with torn sleeves. “What- what about bad millennia, angel? When do thoseend?”

The demon shifts and hissesin pain and Aziraphale doesn’t think, he doesn’t hesitate; he reaches out andcurls a hand around Crowley’s arm, feeling the moment the demon freezes at thecontact.

“I don’t know when thoseend, Crowley,” Aziraphale says softly, carefully, and he doesn’t remove hishand from Crowley’s arm even though he can feel the muscles twitching beneathhis fingers. He doesn’t back down because Crowley needs him now and there isNothing that will stop Aziraphale from doing what needs to be done for hisdemon.

Yes. His demon.

It’s about time Aziraphaleadmitted it to himself. Crowley is as much his as Aziraphale is Crowley’s.

“But I do know these pastsix thousand years have been a lot more tolerable when you’ve been beside me.”It’s a confession and an offering to the demon and Aziraphale feels like thescales have been tipped, the balance upset, because it’s him offeringthe reassurances and the temptings to Crowley.

But Aziraphale has alwaystempted Crowley, in his own way. He just hadn’t really noticed before.

“Whenever you weren’taround, I’d hide in my books so I could try and ignore the feeling in my chestthat clawed at me because you weren’t there to quieten it,” Aziraphalewhispers. “I felt such relief that night I saw you in the church even as Iworried over your safety because that- that ache faded away the moment I sawyou.”

The angel leans close to thedemon, resting his head on Crowley’s arm, his forehead touching torn cloth andheated skin. It draws a sound from Crowley that is so very broken in adifferent way to the keening of before. “I cannot imagine how it felt to- to nolonger know I was alive, to think I was dead,” Aziraphale continues and Crowleytrembles beneath his hand and head at the words. “To be so lost and alone andnot care anymore because- because your reason was gone. But Crowley—”Aziraphale lifts his head—noting absently that Crowley’s sunglasses weremissing—and looks the demon in the eye “—please don’t let me find out. Please.”

“I- I’m... I’m just so... tired,angel,” Crowley admits. “I’m tired of it all. I just- make it stop,” he begs,hands coming up and gripping at Aziraphale. “You used to make it stop.”The demon’s head falls forward, drops down against Aziraphale’s chest. “Pleasemake it stop.”

When angels cry the cosmoscry with them. Some angels affect the cosmos more than others. Archangels havebeen known to cause floods and water to form on planets where there once was nowater. Aziraphale has seldom cried in his life even though he has wished to attimes. Now- now Aziraphale cries [12].

The sky outside darkens andthunderclouds amass quicker than they have ever amassed. The BBC weather willcomment on how surprising it is for a thunderstorm to occur with so littlewarning but it’s just entering into September and the weather is always strangearound the end of summer. No human will know that the weather is the result ofa principality crying in pain and anguish for one who is Fallen and broken inways he has never before realised.

Aziraphale pulls Crowleyclose, carefully wrapping his arms around the demon in as gentle a way aspossible, avoiding the injuries he doesn’t quite know if he can Heal. He willtry regardless and put every ounce of will and love—it is love that he feels,why deny it now?—that Aziraphale has and He Will Heal The Fallen Angel.

Even if it ruins him to doso.

[1] It was still long enough to cause somesignificant damage to his body and wings but his core strength had remainedlargely untouched. A few cracks and gouges that he’d carefully repaired overthe years; nothing serious.

[2] So well, in fact, that he’s capable of lying to himself aboutImportant Things for eons.

[3] All six of them, in fact.

[4] They are a stain on him. A mark. Aconstant, unending reminder. Like scar tissue he can’t not see in the mirrorevery day, that he always feels and Knows is there.

[5] Aziraphale has a habit of unconsciously drawing his wings aroundhimself on the astral plane when engrossed in a book or focused on somethingrequiring his attention. The angel draws those wings close when he’s disturbedand although humans do not see them they feel an unexplained Spiritual Breezewhen the wings move when Aziraphale is startled. It’s quite endearing even ifit makes Crowley’s skin crawl at the casual use of his wings by the angel.

[6] Of course, fear of punishment by heavenand hell—mostly hell with Crowley—had made him wary and it had taken Crowleyframing the amendment in a manner that befitted Thwarting Evil for Aziraphaleto finally agree, but the idea of sharing responsibility with Crowley forsomething… it had greatly appealed to the angel. Greatly.

[7] They had spent most of their time initially comparingnotes on what they were Teaching young Warlock in order to try and make himneutral at least before their discussions had branched off into more friendlytopics and evenings were spent in a sort of enjoyable companionship neither hadexperienced before. Of course, in hindsight, the poor boy would likely needsome intensive therapy considering he wasn’t the subject of a divine prophecyand thus didn’t quite grasp some of the things Aziraphale or Crowley taughthim. Humans were frighteningly limited in that regard—but it made themwonderful at the same time; at least humans pushed their limits whilstangels and demons sort of wallowed within their constraints.

[8] Witnessing Crowley sneak children aboard Noah’s shipjust as the flood began cemented in Aziraphale’s heart that the demon is farkinder than any other demon and does not commit Evil because he is evil but rather because it’s his job.If given the freedom to choose, Aziraphale is certain Crowley would performmiracles and temptings as and when he pleases. The Arrangement solidified thatbelief and after the world didn’t end, Aziraphale has watched and waited forCrowley to broach the subject himself. But the demon has remained quiet on thematter.

[9] He choose, however, to be nice andkind.

[10] Crowley had been in the right place at the right time to receivepraise but the demon had simply been enjoying the sights. Infernal luck and allthat however had seen him credited with someone truly evil.

[11] Even this is desperate thinking by the angel—something Aziraphalewell knows. He thinks it regardless, willfully ignorant and hopeful that he’sright when he knows full well he is not.

[12] As a cherubim, Aziraphale’s power is slightlyless than that of a saraph and archangel such as Gabriel in all things saveanything to do with his duties as a principality. Crowley hasn’t cried except theday he lost Aziraphale and on that day it rained for hours in London.

#Good Omens #Inefffable Husbands #Crowley #Aziraphale #gomens #good omens fic #gomens fic #kat writes #my writing

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smallnico · 5 years

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Concerning Good Omens, it's so interesting to me that Crowley is the one most forward about his feelings while Aziraphale keeps them closer to his chest. It goes against trope expectations of their characters imo, since Aziraphale is the "nicer, lighter" one and those character types are usually more open about love. But in another way it makes sense since he probably sees it as giving in to selfish desires/temptation. It just makes their dynamic all the more interesting!

it really does! :> it also contributes to the themes of the book in adaptation by making the two different "types" of person, good and evil, a lot more complicated. it'd be easy to make the kind and loving and good one also very honest and open, especially considering another facet of az's character, that he tends to take other people at their word, but good omens goes the different direction of making aziraphale and crowley People rather than making them Fit -- with good or evil, or with any particular character archetype.

he could see it as giving into desire/temptation! but here's something else to consider, too: crowley and aziraphale both have their own ways of masking their own vulnerability. at the end of the day, both of them are more human because they're vulnerable, despite being immortal and incredibly powerful, and because that makes them more human than anything, they both need to take measures to hide it, particularly from their respective employers. because aziraphale is the sort of person to take people at their word, maybe it's just that he generally assumes others -- particularly other angels -- will believe him as well, when he insists that he doesn't like crowley, or insists that he's interested in stopping the apocalypse for more general "greater good" reasons, rather than showing off his weak spots. another specific example of this apart from crowley is when he talks to gabriel in the first episode, in the sushi restaurant: gabriel asks what he's doing and why, az replies not that he likes sushi or that he enjoys eating, but that sushi is, broadly speaking, good. when gabriel argues that he'd never "soil the celestial temple of (his) body with gross matter", az just doesn't respond, not to defend himself or defend what he's doing, even though in the acting he clearly understands he's being shamed and knows he's not going to do anything about it.

the fact that this is his chosen defense mechanism and he's still so bad at lying, i think, speaks more to the fear of being Discovered or Known rather than any sort of genuine belief in his own denial. he knows he loves crowley -- how could he not know? he admits it in subtle ways all the time -- he just doesn't want to be recognized as having vulnerability, or vices, in az's specific case.

crowley has the same kind of thing. i remember seeing an analytic post about his sunglasses (which i would track down and link but can't, cus mobile is awful) and how they're used as a personal and cinematic shorthand for him disguising his true feelings from prying eyes. crowley can get away with admitting his true feelings because he's better at hiding how vulnerable they make him apart from the feelings themselves. the only thing crowley really outwardly denies is the fact that he's a good person, because he's trying very hard to seem like a good demon, something he never wanted to be in the first place. unlike aziraphale, who By Definition as an angel has to be pure and righteous according to someone else's standards, crowley can get away with having vices because he's a demon, and he can get away with having virtues because he knows how to play it smart so his bosses don't find out and Destroy him.

good and evil are both polar extremities, between which sits humanity and vulnerability. if aziraphale openly admits to liking sushi, that's ammunition to judge him for not being angelic enough. if he openly admits to liking earth, it betrays his human vulnerability, his softness, and it's ammunition to judge him for not being angelic enough. if he openly admits to liking crowley, even without admitting that the two of them are in love, then he gets accused of conspiring with hell, the ultimate evil, cus there's no in-between for angels and demons.

it's easy to interpret az's denial as earnest because of the general vibe he gives off of being a soft and sunshiney classically Good person, and i enjoy that interpretation as much as the next person cus i think he's adorable, but it's like you said, it's not that straightforward. az may not be very good at hiding his feelings and vices to anyone who doesn't trust him at his word (crowley sees right through him nearly as soon as they meet, and so does a generous portion of the audience, cus of michael sheen's acting), but he does massively succeed at appearing pure and simple. like crowley, he's playing it smart. unlike crowley, his boss is literally always watching -- it's god, after all. crowley is allowed to play around his vulnerabilities and act apart from his infernal superiours, but aziraphale isn't allowed to slip at all. he's terrified when the other angels corner him because they've found out he's friends with a demon. the only real admission of personal vulnerability az makes which i can remember off the top of my head is when he says "i'm soft" -- the rest of the time he misdirects that stuff so it isn't about him, or so that it frames him as being in the right/not personally at fault/doing his best anyway. like the scene when he's going to be discorporated during the french revolution, where crowley confronts him for making the mistake of going for crepes during a revolution dressed like a dandy. az's responses during this scene communicate a few things:

1) when confronted with the dress code mistake, az argues that he "has standards" for dress which he isn't willing to relinquish

2) he carefully makes no comment on the fact that he loves crepes so much he's willing to follow them through the french revolution despite his dress standards, instead saying that paris is the only place to get good ones, which doesn't address the fact that he wanted crepes to begin with

3) he blames the executioner for making the mistake of discorporating him, and then blames crowley for the french revolution (before he learns it isn't his fault, after which he says nothing else on the matter)

4) he does absolutely nothing to dirty his hands to get out of the situation he's in. he's supposed to cut down on superfluous miracles, but he says not a word with regards to fashion sense or even the killing of his executioner because he's not the one responsible for either of those things -- crowley is. like he says (more or less) in the climax when they're trying to get into the airbase, "i'm supposed to be the good one, i can't do anything about this guy with a gun who's about to shoot us". he wants to do something, and is pleased when something is done, but if he's the one who does it, then he's the one that ends up judged for whatever it is he does if it happens to be the wrong thing. in the climax, worth noting is that he immediately worries he might've sent the soldier somewhere unpleasant.

i could go on and on about aziraphale and about good omens in general, really. i relate to him a lot, cus that mindset is more or less the root of so much of my anxiety: i'm not an angel, and i'm not claiming to be one, but i am pretty idealistically-minded, and afraid of being condemned by others for just doing my own thing, no matter how much that is synonymous with trying to do things i consider to be good. also like with aziraphale, i've loved humans and human variety too much to be so convinced of my own intrinsic moral/ideological superiority that i don't worry if what i'm doing is the correct thing to do. that's just how it be sometimes.

but back to az's denial of his true feelings on things. i can't be sure that he genuinely feels like his vices and his love for crowley are Bad Things that he needs to cover up, but i feel like given his circumstances and personality, the conflicted feelings of "i love this guy, love is good and it makes me feel good" and "this guy is a demon and he does bad things, ergo i can't be sure that loving him specifically is a good thing, so i'm going to pretend it's not happening because what if it is bad and i don't know it's bad and god makes it so i can't be an angel anymore and have to be a demon as well". really, he's just playing it safe and covering his weak spots in case heaven finds out he's not Good. he's an angel, which means he almost certainly doesn't trust his own judgement enough to self-determine, even though he has opinions galore. you can see it in his eyes and on his face that he believes certain things are right and certain things are wrong no matter whose side is doing it, he's just too afraid of the repercussions to admit it. i love my ethereal son

i'm talking more about the show in this post, but all this is a lot more obvious in his book characterization. lest this post become twice as long, i'll cut myself off here -- if you or anyone else wants to continue the discussion, feel free to! sorry this took so long to respond to.

#good omens #long post #idk how to tag this it's just me analyzing characters #luna-sheep #the askbox #loquor

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feuerbluete · 5 years

Text

How Hell tries to be the opposite of Heaven

and fails

Or: How Crowley was literally too good for Heaven.

First of all, what is Heaven actually doing in the Good Omens universe?

Heaven is a rigid system, lead from the top and executing what they perceive as God’s will and what is Right.

God Herself does not seem to be directly in charge. The angels all try to follow the Great Plan, at least until the NotApocalypse, but no one seems to know if what they’re doing is actually what God intends.

At first glance, Hell does seem to be the direct opposite of that. They actively go against God’s will, trying to corrupt humanity and generally doing what they perceive as Wrong. There are the show’s visual differences, with Heaven being empty and Hell being cluttered, but that is where them being opposites ends.

Because if you look just a little deeper, there are actually many similarties. First of all, Hell also follows a rigid system, lead from the top, and since God does seem to be absent from Heaven’s decision making, the CEOs of both Heaven and Hell are presumably Archangels.

If we look at it from a human perspective, we clearly see that what Hell perceives as Wrong generally overlaps with our understanding of wrong. However, if we look at Heaven, what they perceive as Right, often still seems wrong for us. And I am going to give a hot take here, the amount of right both Hell and Heaven do is about the same on both sides, and it’s not a lot.

So to conclude, Hell wishes they were the opposite of Heaven, when in reality they really aren’t.

Now to the Crowley part of this post. If you look at your general angel or demon, both hate everything the other side stands for. They would have been delighted by the chance to destroy their opposite and they reject everything the other side does just for the principle of it.

Now, we don’t really get a reason for why exactly all the demons fell, but we can make a general assumption that all demons except for Crowley like what they are doing. They rejected Heaven and embrace Hell instead and are delighted to be evil, to do Wrong.

Now for the point I’m trying to make, three quotes from both book and show:

1. “Crowley (An Angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards)”, literally the first description we get for him

2. “He hadn't meant to Fall. He'd just hung around with the wrong people.”

3. “I only ever asked questions. That’s all it took to be a demon in the old days.”

This tells us he never intended to cut ties with Heaven, never wanted to end up on the opposite side. However, he still questioned the way Heaven was run, so he obviously was not content with the status quo.

Which leads to one simple conclusion: He rejects Heaven on the basis that their Right is still wrong. He wants to do right. So he questions. Questions the way Heaven runs things, the power structure, free will. He rejects Heaven on the basis that their Right is still wrong. He never wanted to do Wrong, he just wanted Heaven to do right. And because of that, he falls.

The tragedy is, that this changed nothing. He had to adapt to Hell’s structure which meant he was now doing Wrong instead of Right, but as I said, from a human perspective there is no difference, they’re both doing wrong.

The one good thing that came out of this mess is that he got assigned to earth, which, with time, gave him a lot more leeway to do what he perceived as right. In the end both Heaven and Hell still are the same, but at least he managed to break free completely, from a system he never fit in to begin with. But we all know that part.

And to add a small snipped about Aziraphale because this doesn’t quite feel complete without it. Az had some ideas of right and wrong of his own right from the start, which we can clearly see when he gives away the sword. He simply never questioned out loud like Crowley did. Once he got assigned to earth, his develpoment of right and wrong does not mirror Crowley’s, since Right and Wrong are just two names for the exact same thing, rather it parallels it. The longer they stay on earth, the more they get exposed to human morals and the less they can accept what Heaven and Hell are doing, trying their best to thwart their wrong without actualy thwarting, and, when the catalyst through Armageddon arrives, outright reject what both sides are doing.

Because in the end, Heaven and Hell are the same and the next fight, will, in fact, be right vs. wrong, Earth against Heaven and Hell, us against them.

#this got longer than expected #good omens #meta #I'm sure I'm not the first person to write this down but I'm having Feelings #obvious meta is obvious

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mchanz-hoe · 5 years

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Good Omens— Analyzing Crowley

This is my collection of notes & thoughts of Crowley through each episode of Good Omens. He’s such a deep character, I was really excited to dive deep and really analyze him. This post WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS so look away if you don’t wanna see, kids. Even if you’ve only seen Episode One, do NOT read even Analysis 1 as I reference the other episodes in it. Without further ado, here we go. It’s gonna be a long one lads.

Also my grammar and run on sentences are gonna be hella bad because I am watching this as I go

*Anything marked with “❤️” relates to his relationship/opinions of Aziraphale for all you thirsty shippers like myself. Enjoy.*

Ep1-

1. Crowley approaches Az as a snake first, Az seems shocked and a little scared, but relaxes when he sees his face and hears friendly words ❤️

2. Crowley admits he doesn’t see the difference between good and evil anyway (since this is beginning, it is easy to assume that this is right after fall when Crowley, as he put it later, “Didn’t ask to be a demon, all he did was ask questions” like him asking in this episode if it was an overreaction to send Adam and Eve away because it was their first sin)

3. Crowley is curious about the Great Plan, not challenging God’s authority directly

4. Az says this plan is Ineffable — Incapable of understanding (Crowley later admits this also in the last episode to Gabriel and Beelzebub when they try to fool them into thinking that there may be a plan that doesn’t include war and the end of the world)

5. “You’re an Angel, I don’t think you can do the wrong thing” almost seems a bit bitter like Crowley is still a bit upset about his new position in the Universe. But can we also talk about how Az lights up? ❤️

6. Crowley steps close to Az before he even raises his wing to shield him from the rain ❤️

7. Hastur doesn’t always have a frog on his head. I wonder if he can hide it/ show it or if it’s a crown of sorts for them being Dukes of Hell (Can Crowley hide his eyes if he wanted to?)

8. Casual greeting to the demons instead of the whole devil salute greeting

9. Wearing glasses around the other demons

10. Crowley has no decay or markings on him other than his eyes, so I wonder if that’s a cosmetic choice, or the effect of him being on Earth rather than rotting in hell

11. He’s hiding his eyes to them which is interesting given they know he’s a demon. This proves he wears glasses for reasons other than just hiding from humans. I’m wondering if the whole regret about the fall/uncertainty of good/evil is what makes him hide the demonic trait he has. Definitely a security blanket of sorts and he looks cool as hell (pun intended)

12. I find it interesting that, despite Crowley not rebelling against God and the Angels like some of the demons, he’s trusted to the antichrist. Like, if he went to hell for just questioning, then surely they should suspect he isn’t trustworthy as he wasn’t ENTIRELY evil

13. He did say they like him and later claims he has lied to them about demonic things he’s done on earth. Perhaps they think he’s turned all bad or simply trusted him with it because he’s on earth all the time

14. Crowley is repeating what they say but speaking shortly and has his mouth open. He seems scared, shocked, nervous, yet his face appears calm as you can’t read his eyes (which I assume are wide and panicking)

15. Devil confirms that Crowley EARNED this position

16. The first person he contacts is Aziraphale even by pay phone ❤️

17. Gabriel hinted that Aziraphale could have used a miracle to avoid Crowley, yet Crowley and him keep running into each other over time ❤️

18. Crowley didn’t deliver the baby correctly because he wasn’t “fundamentally good or bad”

19. It was an honest mistake of mis communication

20. The angel and demon have been meeting in the park for a while

21. Crowley is going on about the music composers in Hell. We can tell by Az’s reaction, these are likely some of his favorite composers. This proves Crowley has paid attention to his interests? ❤️

22. “I still owe you one from...” and he lets Az finish the sentence. Kind of a lot you can take from that. He’s leaving it up to Az to decide how he owes him and maybe dodging the whole holy water incident

23. Paris. We know they meet after that, and Az says they’ve had Crepes so surely they’re even?

24. Crowley is dead ass staring at Az while he eats

25. While comical in his drunken words, Crowley cares about the wildlife on earth during the apocalypse

26. Crowley talks so fast he’s forgetful of words on a few occasions

27. Crowley knows exactly what to say to get Az on his side. I wonder what else he’s convinced him to do in the past

28. “It’s not that bad when you get used to it” That soft smile he’s gives Az is everything ❤️

29. Drag David Tennant. Need I say more.

30. Nanny Crowley doesn’t seem to look very different, but Az went to great lengths to make himself different.

31. Crowley is very distant from the child here but later on in the final episode, he grasps the real antichrist’s hand. Development?

32. MAN. BUN. CROW. LEY.

33. Seriously why wasn’t that hairstyle canon the entire time?

34. His hair changing is actually a great observation about him as a character. He keeps changing it, yet Az stays very much the same over time. I wonder if this is his “rebelliousness” or some discomfort of him knowing himself. Part of his insecurities?

35. Did anyone else notice the angel on the hover board in the background of heaven...?

36. Crowley sits behind Az on the bus. Later they sit side by side

37. It’s odd Crowley didn’t mention the hellhound sooner. I feel like they both are open with each other

38. Angel ❤️

39. Crowley suggests Az kill the boy rather than doing it himself. I wonder if he’s developed a slight attachment or if he WANTS Aziraphale and Heaven to win

40. Crowley is not amused by Az’s bad magic

41. “Make you disappear..” and Az’s small grin knowing he won’t ❤️

42. Crowley showed up and let him do his magic anyways

43. Crowley is disgusted by the food fight and somehow manages to get out without any on him

44. Why does Crowley sniff to know the dog has been named?

45. “I know what you smell like” ❤️

46. “Would I lie to you?” — Crowley wouldn’t dream of lying to Az and is shocked he would suggest he would.

This is all I have for now. Other Episodes to come later on!

#im such a freaking nerd #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #good #omens #analysis #i love them so much #spoilers #GO

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yourfandomfriend · 5 years

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Symbolism and Simplification | Good Omens Meta

Aha, I’ve found something to meta about! It’s actually the only ambiguous thing about the whole series: what do you think Crowley and Aziraphale represent?

** SPOILERS** FOR GOOD OMENS ** SPOILERS **

There’s a lot of argument surrounding GO in regard to the sexuality of the main characters. On the one hand, they’re angels, they don’t breed, they don’t have human brain chemistry, they even really have gender in the sense we’re used to, they obviously lack the baggage of humans and their sexualities. But on the other hand, they’re fictional characters invented within a society, baggage is baked into everything whether we mean for it to be or not.

So what are they already? Are they gay/bi/etc? Are they without human definition? Ace? Queerbaiting? Better left to interpretation? Well. I think all these questions ignore something painfully fundamental that we zero out when we adjust to consuming the hundreds of stories available to modern flixxers:

They are fictions.

I don’t mean that as a brush-off; I think the questions are valid and being fictitious doesn’t let anyone off the hook for political statements. What I mean is, fictional characters aren’t people but are symbolic of people. Of large ideas and thorny emotions, how we see ourselves grappling with them, with all the noise of reality, the static and blur and contradiction, left out.

That’s important because nothing in fantasy is ever truly a 1:1 reflection of reality. That would be horribly dull and not at all as sharp and vivid as fiction. We don’t have time for squinting at Monets. The world is ending...

Making the Big, Feel Small

The TV Apocalypse! Hot take: who gives a rats ass about that? A fake world ending and people who never lived are going to die? No consequences for us, so no real stakes! Why should any of us care?

Well, what if the world ending in a TV show took something away that could hurt us in the real world? Reach through the screen and snap us where it counts? But that would mean the show would have to be the one to give us something we wanted in the first place. Needed, even. Something rare and precious, something it could hold over our heads in case we stopped investing our emotions in the make-believe end of days.

I think you get where I’m going with this. The fabric of reality is threatening to be torn apart over some ridiculous war between initial caps Good and Evil, and if they get their way, it’s not just the end of the world. It’s the end of Crowley & Aziraphale’s arrangement/fraternizing/love story.

And just like that, we feel it tug at our heartstrings. It really could end, oh no!

We like them so we get why they might like each other. But to make us really care, we have to go through it with them and have them go through it with us. It’s not enough for us to want them to be together, they have to want them to be together, too. So the miniseries decides to illustrate anecdotes that the book is content to describe so you’ll know where you were when these chumps fell in love with each other.

As far as romantic moments that leave shippers squeeing, most shows have a few every season at the very best, but Gaimen and co. aren’t forking around. They only had eight episodes, why not go the “Oops! All Berries” route? Every scene they’re in has at least a look or a line that sews precarious, blossoming Love Sweet Love into the seems of this show like a sadistic tailor.

We don’t just want them to be safe in the end. We don’t just want them to be happy. They have to be together.

Making the Small Feel Big

So love stories... Some of us adore them but some of us just don't have the patience for them, or we’ve been conditioned to think they’re too flowery. Just people creating drama for themselves that could easily be avoided. What to do then? How does one make a romance slap?

Why not make it the literal end of the world? Why not rain fish from the sky and summon C’thulu and set shit on fire? Not only is it great drama but it makes for great symbolism and helps out those of us who can’t sit still for a love story.

Why not make saps of your hard-edged audience? Some of us need it.

Making the Ineffable, Eff

“So the HMS Ineff Yourself is the ship to end all ships,” I hear you say. “So what? You didn’t answer the question to our satisfaction! What are they really? Friends, lovers? I want a box to put them in or I’ll explode! This isn’t hyperbole and I’m not a straw man, I’m a real person trapped in a blog post!”

Well, I can address some of that, relax. Answering the big question requires a buttload of empathy. Not only are Crowley and Aziraphale not human, but they don’t have the culture of humans. Their big taboo isn’t about gender -- in a world where the establishment is casually nonbinary, it’s hard to use these guys as a super-literal reflexion of the real world. The hats have little fingers, the plants are terrified, it’s all a stretch.

But the idea of two characters in love being torn apart by a false dichotomy that dictates everything about their expression and forces them into narrow little boxes of performance, that if expectations aren’t met could result in their violent deaths, is, among other things, deeply applicable.

It doesn’t just look like this to a biased audience, it was written that way. In order to wrap your brain around something as alien as angels and demons, something you can’t actually know, you have to draw from what you can know. They love each other, but it’s all a little beyond their understanding. But they’re immortal, they have time to figure it out.

That answer may lack the definition some of us want, but what doesn’t?

Better Angels

One part of the story I’ve seen even very smart people stumble over is something I see smart people stumble over constantly in their analysis of great fiction. They just can’t abide a gray area.

Maybe in real life, it makes sense for things to not be all black and white, but they expect things that are a little removed from them, things they might not be paying a lot of attention to (like my blog posts) to be very clear about which side they come down on. They’re like Gabriel that way.

We know most people are blind, biased fools, but we all want to believe we’re not. We don’t have scales on our eyes, we know what’s up and see the world clearly, we want what is Right, not just what is simple and convenient.

But if most people are fools...?

The Heaven part of the story makes no sense to people who see the world in black and white terms because, you know, it’s one thing to portray Hell as bad, but Heaven? Heaven is Righteous, how can Righteousness be bad?

Sure, Crowley’s okay, but that must be because he’s good deep down and always has been, there’s no other reason he’d care about humans. And we like him, and we’re good, so he must be good. (That’s the transitive property of fandom.) It can’t be that we mistake things we like for things that are right and all that’s beneficial to humanity with good-. Ow! Oo, sorry, I think I sprained my sarcasm. (I shouldn’t overtax it like that!)

Along with not seeing the gray in Crowley, most will ignore it in Aziraphale, too, at least on first viewing. After all, he’s just so kind, and willing to rebel against Heaven and everything he believes in and even put himself in danger of smiting to stop a terrible thing from happening. But most of all, he cares about humans and Crowley. He loves. What’s so bad about that?

Well, you can love people and still be decadent, dishonest, willfully ignorant of inconvenient facts, manipulative, self-involved, gullible, silly, (although it hurts me to list that as a flaw) procrastinating, spoiled, and a push-over.

Actually, looking at a list of some of Azirphale’s flaws makes it clear that most of them come down to him being weak-willed. He wants to be good but as an unsupervised god among men for 6000 years, someone who can magic even small things to go his way, he lacks the willpower to stick to anything once he’s (even gently) been tempted away from it.

And that which seems to be the heart of all his failings, the thing that pissed off Heaven the most about him, also seems to be the thing Crowley finds most compelling about him. It’s the part of Az that wants things for himself, that needs other people, and will break the rules if he thinks they’re unreasonable. That would never, say, damn someone to Hell for asking questions. The part of him that can absolutely love someone who was damned.

Aziraphale spends most of the story being pulled back and forth between powerful personalities, between Gabriel and Crowley, only to ultimately choose and fight for the thing he himself wants most, rather than what other people tell him to do or even the thing he knows is right. Which is good, since his concepts of right and wrong were handed to him by ridiculous bureaucrats.

At least in the series, Aziraphale and Crowley are perfectly symbolic of humanity’s struggle with doing the right thing in interesting times. They aren’t exactly bad people needing to become good, but a lot of little mistakes on their part added up to a big disaster and they both needed to find the strength and the courage to swim against a very wicked current.

In my opinion, the show is about failing and making amends. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to do the right thing or the wrong thing, we all fuck up more than occasionally, but we have to get on with it and do our best.

Because there are no better angels. It’s just us.

...What, you want a clearer, simpler answer than that? Fine. The real message of Good Omens is don’t pollute.

#good omens #meta #spoilers #long post

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kanene-yaaay · 5 years

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A night just as any other

Sugar! /0/

Spice! \0\

And everything nice! \0/

To create the perfect fluff

But Kanene accidentally (unless...)

Added an extra ingredients to the concoction--

Angst!!

*Explosion*

*Evil crackling*

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* Thank you all very much for all the support, reblogs, heart and kinds words that you give to me. I can’t call this a christmas gift, but I really hope that you like it and this small oneshot is able to light up your day! ‘w’)s2

* This characters don’t belongs to me! Good Omens belongs to the incredible Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett; Aaaand the characters of this fic (and AU) themselves belongs to @10yrsyart

* Read here to know the AU Ducks and Dolphins and click here to see everything cannon about the D+D. It’s f a n t a s t i c! Reaaad! ^w^)s2

* Something around 1.200 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any and every advice is very very welcome! \(-w-)/

* This is not cannon. This idea just came because everytime I thought in a fluff, just appear plots of Az cheering up Crow, soooo I tried to challenge me a little and make the opposite. I hope I could demonstrate even a little bit of their personality (and don’t have misunderstanding them).

* Fanfic em português brasileiro (Portuguese Version) Thankys for reading, my lollipops! I hope you enjoy this, festive or not, day! Hug a demon, hug an angel and don’t forget to drink water!! Byeioo!~

[~*~]

Aziraphale is calm, stoic, precise, bold, moralistic, firm, direct and ruthless if necessary. He is also sincere, generous, comprehensive, limpid and kind. He is as a pillar. A base. Something concrete, someone who you can lean on for support, trust, belief.

He knows very well how separate his work from his personal life. His feelings from his mind. He is rational, leaded primary by his brain and not-

And not ngk-

(Come on. Control your breath. Control yourself. One… two…three…)

In any way, under absolutely no circumstances by his feeli-

(Focus. Focus on something, something, some- a book! Take one of the books. Right. Very well. Focus!)

…

Damn.

There was no danger.

He settled back a little more on the furniture, held the book again, with a little firmer grip than needed as he readjusted it to a more comfortable position and so that there was no danger in his thick, warm tears researching its pages, eventually falling and blurring its words of the lovely sentences.

At least it was night, a night just like any other night with a weather of every other nights, where there would be no incident.

“Angel…?”

… Damn.

Crow approached closer from the upright and perfect pose, seeking his eyes and staring deeply into, the gold glittering in the night pitch, when found them. Az didn’t tried to hide these moments, at least not anymore, but neither did he show its when they became present. His voice came out a little faltering, yet in the calm and characteristic tune he always had.

“Crow, dear, I thought you were already sleeping.”

“I just woke up. I came for a cup of tea.”

Both knew this was a lie, still none of them really mentioned such information when the one with dark hair as the ebony of the night, a night just as any other one, removed the book of his carefully manicured hands and held them for a moment, intertwining their fingers as he got closer enough to finally entwining him in a hug. Separated the hold for a brief second, only to position the angel’s head on his shoulder, and then tightly hug him. As if he tried to show that, nothing, on Earth, Hell or Heaven, would be able to hit him without going over him, first.

It might seemed as any other previous hug, if it wasn’t for the fabric of his pajamas getting gradually wetter and the slight shivers and sniffles that let out the mouth of the one with blonde, almost white, hair. His cry was silently, and for a light of moment, Crow remembered his own cry, which could be described as any other, just a bit louder and with rumpled clothes.

Shook lightly his head, focusing in the present, in the possibilities, the sentences and words that would say after the storm. His mind felt lethargic and yet running in full speed almost at the same time. Combing Az’s hair and gave small, but big in meaning, pecks in his neck without even noticing.

The time lost meaning in this piece of time.

A hand tapped softly his back and the head slightly lifted. It was the signal to break the touch, and it was promptly obeyed.

“Do you want to talk about this?” His voice was a special whisper, packed, designated and delivered to just one being in the entire universe.

“There is nothing to be said.” Even with everything, his voice still lacking major flaws or slips, it was of a calm, sad nature. “It is just…” And the owner of hundreds of books, reader for thousands years and maestro of words ended up losing himself in them.

‘It’s just…’ Crow wondered if even the humans, at some point of their existence, could understand all the feelings and sensations between the lines that this phrase could possess.

Probably.

Everyone does, in some way or another, doesn’t it?

A piece more of time was spent. Maybe two, three, and perhaps a little more.

…

“We should go out.”

“What are you rambling about, Crow love? We always go out.”

“No. I mean… for something different! Not just a lunch.”

“A day to wander, you mean?”

“Maybe.” Shrugged, pondering, the tongue absently wriggling in the ar. Az tightened a bit more the touch, feeling lighter as allow his mind travel and dance between some possibilities for the future meaning of this conversation. “We should make a picnic!”

“A picnic?’

“Yes! In any place, nearby or far away! We could take the food or milacre there. I can give you a ride.”

His head turned, his heart floating and expanding when he saw that the trail of tears had faded from his husband’s face, and now the red was also beginning to gradually leave his skin.

Az pondered for a few minutes, eyes glomming.

“Let me tempt you, then.” Crow hissed, carrying on their internal joke, since they, after their last wedding-lunch, decided that from now on there would be no more dates, only weddings.

“I love you, Aziraphale.” Their eyes met.

“I love you, my husband.”

A recipe book was open, some bright smiles (maybe trying to help the stars?) too.

“Sure, my dear. I would never…” replied Az, trying to decide which color would most highlight Crow’s duck patterned pajamas.

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