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lorainelaneyblog · 8 years ago

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My website is down. Sorry. I am with my little, and I use the term loosely, speed dealer tonight. And he was angry. And this is what happened. He was losing it, and asking his friend to leave, and I am an old friend, and I was confused at his anger, until, until, and this is all I saw. She wouldn’t leave. And then she stuck out two legs and said, “Put my socks on.” And I was like, girl, are you crazy?

‘We respect our own men, but nobody else’s,’ she tells me on the ether.

‘Why?’

‘Because that’s what we were taught, Loraine, to rise above all other Canadians, as Inuit, and I could tell, right away, that you were showing respect to me as an Inuit, and nobody does, nobody.’

‘What? Everyone knows how the Indian people and the Inuit people have suffered under colonialism. Everyone.’

‘Why do they hate me?’

‘Well, one, do not fuck with the French Canadians over suffering.’

‘Why?’

‘Extreme poverty and a generosity of spirit.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Generous hearts. He licked you.’

‘And what?’

‘You submit.’

‘Why? That’s submissive. Our men aren’t so generous.’

‘Well, well, well, that’s an orientation matter, are they withholding good sex?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘When women perform oral sex it is submissive, but never, never, never, make that error with men, their sexual activities are always, always, always self serving and dominant in nature.’

‘You’re a canary in a gold mine,’ I tell him. ‘That’s why I like you so much.’

‘What is that?’

‘The French are more romantic, and, as such, compete with the English over the dominance of women.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘They are lower than the English in sexual dominance, but, I say,’ says God himself. ‘That they get more women. They get more, Loraine, with their loving dominance, than the English with their selfishness. Loraine will tell you, herself, that it is deprivation which attracts women.’

‘That’s why I didn’t like him. He asked too much of me orally, and I thought he should pay.’

‘If you are in business--’

‘And I am. We are taught, in Inuit culture, to use all others outside of our own heritage, but it is hurting me in business, I can see that already. Because, and this is why, Loraine, you are right, I made the mistake of thinking they were serving me, wrong, isn’t it?’

‘Wrong. His, let’s use him as an example, orientation involves a lot of licking. He obtains many women this way, and it would be so with his wives. And yet, make no mistake, he is higher than many men, many marrying men, by virtue of dealing with, and organizing more women.’

‘I thought he was a slut.’

‘Moreso than you?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I'm confused, what is your thinking on that?’

‘Do you think I’m stupid?’

‘God says no one is stupid.’

‘Really? Because I get that a lot.’

‘Do you have better friends up North?’

‘Excellent friends.’

‘Your English is terrible.’

‘Really?’

‘I understand nothing of what you say, nothing.’

‘Really?’

‘You can’t grandstand in a foreign language, make no mistake, she is right, you fucked with the wrong culture, because we are ESL too, and our English is excellent.’

‘I don’t understand him.’

‘I just told him, tonight, that you need a PhD in English to understand him.’

‘Why?’

‘I guess he’s so colloquial Quebecois.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘His understanding of English is perfect, but it is hard to overcome his accent, and his colloquialisms. Honest to God, listening to the two of you speak, it is like the blind leading the blind.’

‘There is no connection.’

‘None.’

‘Really? I thought it was fun.’

‘With me there, I think, he was yearning to be understood, and realizing that you weren’t the girl to ever understand him.’

‘Why wasn’t it fun anymore, once you were there?’

‘He already had problems with you.’

‘I know.’

‘Tell me about your tantrum, what were the words and the feelings?’

‘I hated him for kicking me out. I hated him for not letting me suck his dick.’

‘Really?’

‘He hated me so much for my attitude after the oral, that he wouldn’t even let me suck his dick. And that upset me.’

‘Give me the attitude in words, if you can.’

‘Why?’

‘He’s being hurt by this, in women, and I love him.’

‘As a friend.’

‘I will serve him, but it’s a friendship to me.’

‘And to him?’

‘We are wrong orientationally. He is a, I believe, polygamous center. I am one as well. A center, that is.’

‘What’s that? What am I?’

‘I think you are a marrying woman, predominantly monogamous, quite submissive.’

‘What about my size? I thought that was for smaller women, in porn.’

‘Don’t laugh, but those bitches are way, way, out of their element.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘As cute as they are, they do not submit like a girl like me.’

‘What do you do?’

‘Me? Nothing. I work for a living. But my orientation is very submissive, I should be married to a group of bisexual men.’

‘What do you do though, ideally?’

‘There is a lot of degradation. A lot of service like licking asshole, and licking balls, and eating come.’

‘Oh, I see. They use you.’

‘Right.’

‘What do I do?’

‘I have to ask you, what is your primary fantasy?’

‘It is always one man, and I love to lick and serve them, that is why I was confused by his tactics, licking a girl seems submissive.’

‘Yeah. Not.’

‘Why?’

‘I don’t understand it, but it’s just another example of male dominance.’

‘Why, though?’

‘Why, [ ]?’

‘I just wanted to lick her to get what I wanted.’

‘Which was what? A blow job? I was confused, Loraine, and I thought I should act superior, so that, like those bdsm women, he would do it again.’

‘What was your hope, [ ]?’

‘Marriage and bisexuality.’

‘This is perfect, God, fucking perfect, fucking perfect. This is why he licks you so nicely, so, guess what?’

‘What, I can’t even imagine.’

‘So you will get on your knees and lick pussy for him, and that is a perfect example of a man.’

‘I would never do that.’

‘Exactly. And that is why it is a perfect example of male dominance. You don’t fucking want to.’

‘I get it. He was barking up the wrong tree.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Oh, I hear your mind, he is a sitting duck as a center polygamist for women to use him.’

‘Exactly.’

‘Okay, let’s move on. I’m sorry, Frenchie, I had no idea.’

‘The things he needs, women outside of relationship won’t do.’

‘Like ass licking.’

‘Exactly.’

‘It’s a poor substitute.’

‘Absolutely not,’ says Warren Jeffs. ‘Center polygamists love to lick, it’s just we need tremendous sexual submission, and that’s what he is, Loraine, make no mistake, he is a sitting, sitting, sitting, duck for bitches like the one who says, “Put on my socks.” Brutal, Loraine. And, and, and, despite that you, yourself, are too low of a submissive for him, I believe you are helping him.’

‘Really?’

‘You have to submit, Loraine, and you have seen his anger when you refuse, that’s because he is a man, and he will decide what is appropriate sexually, and you see that, yes, you do, he is no woman, that is for sure. No doubt. Finish, Loraine.’

‘I took this a little personally myself because she was partying with both of us, but, this is what made him irate, and caused him to demand that she leave: She rubbed her fingers together, in the money symbol, and she shook her empty beer can.’

‘She is a working girl, but rude, and Loraine agreed.’

‘Ask for nothing, except a fair price for sex.’

‘And that’s it? What about the party? Do they pay you for partying?’

‘50 Cent wants to take this,’ says God.

‘No, not ever. A good host will keep the party going, and he does, he does, he does, he does, yes, he does, he’s an interesting little bugger, Loraine finds him very entertaining with his moods and bossiness, yes, she does, yes, she does, yes, she does, yes, she does. Because, as she says, and, I would argue, even as a French Canadian, as a counterpoint to the Inuit, he will, he will, he will, put up with no shit from you.’

‘Why? I thought we were the lowest Canadians.’

‘I say, and I am God, that Canada is the poorest country in the world, the poorest, the poorest.’

‘Bullshit,’ she says. ‘I always had food, always, always, always.’

‘Loraine and [ ] cannot say the same. They starved in mortgage poor neighbourhoods, Loraine in Vancouver, and [ ] in Aylmer, Loraine. Aylmer, is where he is from, from, Loraine, and I know you think that it impossible because of its proximity to Ottawa, but, while the English did well, the Quebecois starved, they fucking starved, Loraine. This is what you have heard about the provinces. This is it. Some got money, and others didn’t. And they fucking well didn’t, Loraine. They fucking well didn’t. And this is why buildings were burning to the ground. And this is why even landlords were hungry. There was no industry in Quebec, none, Loraine, none, Loraine, and tourism was bullshit, nobody came, nobody, Loraine, and that is why, that is why, that is why, [ ] has no time for a self serving, aggressive, Inuit woman. And she is right, too, Loraine, women and men alike were taught never to respect the whites, never, never, never, never, and to use them like crazy. They got more money, Loraine. Sure, yes, to answer your question, the native Quebecois got some money, but nothing, nothing, nothing, came to the Caucasians, nothing Loraine. And your dear, beloved, sister in law, would like to speak to this.’

‘I am, why do you love me so much, Loraine?’

‘You’re such a nice girl, [ ], such a nice girl. I guess goods don’t see themselves relative to others, God?’

‘But I nag your brother.’

‘He’s a sarcastic prick.’

‘He is Loraine, and we use warm humour in Quebec and it is so difficult for me.’

‘Don’t underestimate his power, ever, he knocked me sideways all the time.’

‘Really?’

‘[ ], you don’t get a laugh at the expense of your wife.’

‘I know, Loraine. What were you going to say about therapy?’

‘I went in there telling my therapist how I was so keen, rushing from work to catch a ferry, and yes, you know, it is, at times, and it was this time, an eight hour trip to go to the island.’

‘And, a brilliant therapist will say almost nothing, and nothing is what she said, she only questioned, what, would you say, [ ] [ ]?’

‘Your hurry.’

‘LOL. Fuck brilliant.’

‘You’re funny, Loraine, we enjoy all elements of our trips to see our beloved people, we don’t rush and stress, and she was rushing and stressing and she realized that their relationship consisted of nothing, nothing, nothing but abuse, nothing, [ ], nothing.’

‘Are you serious? What about your former kinship?’

‘All of that was gone.’

‘Gone?’

‘I was a prick, [ ], an English bastard, make no mistake, and I have been that to you as well, and I can, yes, I can, put this down, entirely, Loraine, and I have been listening to your chapter on assumed victimhood, believe it, I can put this down, entirely, to assumed victimhood, even today. My wife’s needs are so great, that I could hate her for them, and I have, yes, I have, entirely, this is it, this is it, yes, it is, and, as confusing as you believe that w?ork to be, I don’t find it so, I find that you gave language, simply, to a complex problem, good, clear, concise language. And, though you repeat yourself, we think it is part of the simplicity, even the soldiers think it, that, not to be a snob, but they are thinking men too, that you were buried in several ideas, weren't you?’

‘Fucking buried.’

‘And it’s simpler than even you thought?’

‘I guess. That chapter frustrates me.’

‘Because we just had to hear it, and that was all it took, Loraine, for men to realize, and I know you think I can’t do this, but I can. Men were astounded that someone stood up for them as superiors, astounded, Loraine, they thought your book would be some kind of newfangled equality, the last, and I mean, the last thing they expected out of a .pdf called “Bros Before Hos” was a book about how men are fundamentally superior, and I mean, the fucking last by that. They wanted to stop fighting when you said that the measure of a man was how he made his woman feel after sex. I mean they just said what the fuck am I fighting for? I thought this was the measure of a man. You’re coming to something.’

‘I would wager that the goal of measuring up to female promiscuity became war itself.’

‘Let’s go on,’ says God.

‘They see it in your eyes.’

‘Women are silent.’

‘Yes.’

‘Anti polygamy legislation, especially in light of what you call the female sexual center, is the profoundest, the profoundest, the profoundest injustice to men, sick even.’

‘Not to wax to politicians but you cannot, you cannot, you cannot, expect a male leader of such families to allow the use of the wife.’

‘You can’t. I agree. It is an impasse. And my wife suffers so, Loraine, as do you, with your smaller clients, you need more, and you have it in you to give, and my men, and I know some of them already, yes, I do, are suffering too, and they are not leaders of a family, so they, honestly, will never have a wife.’

‘Let’s go back to the French,’ says [ ]. ‘You see this, without having quotes, Loraine, and that, for me, makes it interesting.’

‘I do. There is a communal nature to French humour, which I would contrast with English humour as creating alienation.’

‘That’s what I would say,’ [ ] says. ‘And we don’t understand it. And it hurts us.’

‘Personal sarcasm is on her lips. English humour is fucking hilarious, but you do sacrifice it among friends and loved ones, you do, you fucking well do.’

‘How does he hurt you, your friend [ ]?’

‘He never does. And [ ], there is a palpable warmth in conversation with French strangers. There is.’

‘Do you think we’re better, Loraine?’

‘I do.’

‘Why, though?’

‘I have talked about this in relation to the Chinese, physical sexual intelligence gives rise to more heart centered decisions. While, the--wait. Who are higher in sexual intelligence, Lord, because we are all Caucasians.’

‘That’s why it is difficult, Loraine, because, and you are right, the French are higher in physical and sexual intelligence than the English, yes, they fucking well are,’ says God. ‘And this, Loraine Laney, brings us to the Prime Minister of our fair country of Canada.’

‘Why do you say “our,” Lord?’

‘Because our best hopes are here, for polygamy, yes, they are. The Prime Minister and his wife are marrying people, Loraine, unlike Trump who is a swinger, they are very happy with monogamy, very happy, very happy, and it is anathema to their experience to imagine that some people are miserable with one person, but, as such, they are open to such imaginings. yes, they are.’

‘I do sleep with men,’ says [ ]. ‘I couldn’t believe how horny I felt, listening to her tonight, God, she is right, I have a group of five or six men, and it is on one woman, and that is what gets me off, in my private moments, I think I may have met the woman who, despite our relationship failure, due to my cheating, particularly with men, I feel, is it true, Loraine?’

‘It’s true. I am so jealous of men.’

‘Why? They aren’t you.’

‘I want in.’

‘Oh, I see.’

‘God says that, and I am God, speaking through my disciple Loraine, that eighty seven point five percent of women are jealous of men, and within that number, sixty percent are also jealous of women. Gang bang girls, Loraine, you, others, are only jealous of men, only, and I mean that. They, particularly, as you identified, have been screwed by inmates, screwed, Loraine. And 50 Cent doesn’t know this yet, he doesn’t, Loraine. Loraine Laney, with her blog and her impassioned questioning of [ ], lead to, yes, it did, 50 Cent, a prison salute. Yes, it fucking well did, 50 Cent. Believe it. Believe it. Believe it.’

‘It is rare, Loraine.’

‘They had my blog, because he lied about access to the internet.’

‘Yes, he did, Loraine. He did not want you to know how many of his friends were actually reading your blog, your Armageddon letters, yes, they were, Loraine, and he was so insecure about your fame in prison that he lied about their access to internet, yes, they do, in prison, have access to the internet, yes, they fucking well do, yes, they fucking well do.’

‘I’m sorry, Loraine. It’s just that you were so sincere about me, and I wanted you so badly, that I thought if I kept you away from men, then you wouldn’t leave me, but, the opposite was true.’

‘God would say.’

‘Yes, Loraine.’

‘That you have a responsibility to take your little idiot to the highest man.’

‘Oh, I see. That was [ ], and I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to. I didn’t think I was smart enough for you, and that, in light of 50 Cent, could be true, Loraine.’

‘Yeah. I will be alone forever, save 50 Cent.’

‘Why?’

‘God says my work in Bros Before Hos is the first doctoral work in sexology.’

‘Are you fucking kidding me with this? You’re a fucking baby, Loraine. You’re a fucking little baby, Loraine.’

‘What’s different about me that you would say that?’

‘The women are filthy, Loraine, they stink to high heaven, and they will do anything to appear selfless and loving, and they are evil, Loraine, they are doing this to men left and right and reaping the rewards, Loraine.’

‘Oh.’

‘You are a baby, and God confirms this.’

‘Okay. I just want to be good to men, that’s all.’

‘Oh, I see.’

‘I hate being ahead of men--’

‘In numbers?’

‘Yes! I theorize in the book that men, by exigency of ego, need to always be ahead of their woman.’

‘Are you serious with this? How do you expect to achieve this?’

‘God wants to take this. [ ] is handsome, and he is high, Loraine, and, as you know, he has always done well with women, because he is loving and handsome and high, yes, he has, and he has come across a great number of sluts in his little career as a cheater and poly center, yes, he is, like 50 Cent, he is very flexible, and he gets off on any number of scenarios. But, as he admits tonight, his favorite, and only, Loraine, fantasy, is of bisexual love with men, on one, single woman.’

‘Yes, I have, Loraine, I’m a man, and we do fantasize.’

‘Oh. Goodie.’

‘Just kidding, Loraine. Not, Loraine. When I saw that prison salute, I nearly vomited Loraine, because I saw that you saw it, and were confused by it, and it bothered me that they dominated you in this way, and offered themselves to you in this way, it upset me, but I was cheating with women on the outside and cheating with a man, one man Loraine, in prison, and I deserved it, yes, I did, yes, I did, yes, I did. They got me good with that, Loraine, and they were all, all, all gay, gang bang boys.’

‘Oh, I see.’

‘50 Cent is aghast. Are you fucking kidding me with this shit? Are you the queen of the salute by now, or what the fuck is it with this shit, Loraine? A construction salute? A hockey, minor hockey, salute, and a fucking cheering section, and now, a fucking prison salute. What the fuck is this shit, Loraine? Seriously. Game is fucking freaking, Loraine, freaking, Loraine.’

‘What happened?’

‘You know how the visiting room is mostly lower men? I guess, now, it is because the men who came out as bisexual were abandoned by girlfriends.’

‘That’s right, Loraine.’

‘And they’re so cute, the gang bang boys.’

‘Yes, they are.’

‘I was always, always, always, naively, I do see that, the last woman in the visiting room.’

‘Why?’

‘They want to leave, Game.’

‘I know that, Loraine. They have plans.’

‘I didn’t want to leave. I came all that way, and I wanted every minute with [ ], and our little, chaste, kiss at the end. They got us on table visits, for kissing too much or something, I don’t know, maybe it was the “heroine”. Does [ ] know that the cops got me for “heroine” because they didn’t want me to get AIDS?’

‘Seriously?’

‘They heard you were bare back blow jobbing.’

‘And we were.’

‘And I had that two dates with that nice, black, prison guard.’

‘That was part of it, Loraine. They heard how sweet you were, and how honest about your feelings for [ ], and they didn’t want you to get dead, no, they didn’t. And, believe it or not, he wasn’t a shrinking violet, so he told people about what happened with the helicopter. It took four months for his hearing to restore and he was bitter, knowing it was intentional, yes, he was, and he talked it up, yes, he did, and everyone, and I mean everyone, knew who, exactly who, Loraine Laney, was. Yes, they fucking well did, Loraine, even prison guards knew what was happening to you with the police. They bragged about it relentlessly, how they had been given free reign over Loraine Laney, how nobody did anything to help you, nobody. And this is what Game wants to know, Loraine, how many?’

‘How many, Loraine, because this is significant, the most a marrying woman gets is two, two, Loraine, two.’

‘About twelve.’

‘About twelve, exactly twelve,’ says God.

‘Arms akimbo. And gleeful in the most pleasant way.’

‘And what did you do?’

‘Nothing. I left. Visiting hours were over. I saw them alright. And I knew they were not there before. And they were all facing me, but, remember, that when you are the last woman in the room, I don’t care who they are, they know you are the hottest for your man, and they show some attention for that.’

‘That’s true, Loraine. You were hot for [ ], always.’

‘He’s very handsome. He has a tough face. He’s compelling for women, all women.’

‘That’s right, Loraine. And some of them, though you weren’t pretty and, at times, your nose job was a disaster--’

‘There are pictures, and it was, at times, fucking hideous. And I was no beauty, it’s true.’

‘But they loved you, for your work, and for your attentiveness to male bisexuality, yes, they did, Loraine, and they knew I was lying, yes, they did, and they did the salute to screw me too.’

‘Was it a surprise to you?’

‘Yes, Loraine.’

‘But you knew right away what it was?’

‘I did, Loraine. Yes, I fucking well did, and I knew they wanted you for a gang bang girl, but you were innocent still despite your three men fantasies that you told me about. Yes, you were. Yes, you were. You had no idea how big these groups can get, and now you know. Now you know. Now you know.’

I sigh heavily.

‘God says, and I am God, speaking through my disciple Loraine Laney, as I did in the bible, and yes, Loraine, in the gnostic gospels too--.’

‘Oh.’

‘What did you think?’ says 50 Cent.

‘50, don’t overrate my education.’

‘Oh, sorry, Loraine, learned people believe the gnostic gospels were written by God.’

‘Elaine Pagels.’

‘Oh, I see. What did you learn from it?’

‘I remember being left with such a sense of sexuality as pure. And I remember learning that a virgin was one in herself. It negated physical penetration.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Virginity, I would say now, is to be true to oneself, Lord?’

‘Exactly, Loraine. And, though, Loraine Laney has written extensively about the perils of female promiscuity, she herself is promiscuous woman, and she hates it 50 Cent, she hates it 50 Cent, she hates it 50 Cent.’

‘Why?’

‘Because she knows that she is ahead of men who love her and it is wrong for her. She needs to be, and she knows this, she knows this, she knows this, and she wants it so badly that she can hardly even think straight, 50 Cent--’

‘What? To be with more men, and I’m going to get them for her?’

‘She wants to be behind the men who love her, so far behind. She is tired of being the elephant in the room, 50 Cent. And you know how careful she has been. She has had trich twice and one was from a toilet seat, 50 Cent. She is careful.’

‘But she gets penetrated.’

‘Rarely, 50 Cent. Rarely, 50 Cent.’

‘But she’s a whore now.’

‘She recognized that getting fingered by men was not as satisfying, even with a condom, as getting made love to by men, and she needed it, 50 Cent, she needed it, and so she finally, finally, finally, after ten years, gave into it, and Lloyd knows this better than you because he is not as promiscuous, he draws more chastity in women, and they hate being promiscuous, 50 Cent, they hate it. They want, Loraine has had sex with six men in two days, and she hates it, she wants to be married to this group so badly, she can hardly even think straight, 50 Cent, so stop what you’re doing with that, stop it, stop it, it’s you who wants no end of variety, not your little girl. Yes, she has big eyes for big dicks, yes, she does, and yes, she has love in her heart for so many people, men, women, children, as did Jesus, but her desire is limited. She knows what she wants, 50 Cent. She does. What is it that you are thinking, 50 Cent, that she wants a high man to get more, and higher men? That’s not what she was doing. She wanted the group sex with you, and that’s what she wanted. And her sister in law is the same. She is chaste, [ ], she is a chaste woman, she wants you, she wants you, she wants you, she did not lie upon marriage, no, she didn’t, but she is a gang bang girl and she needs the group. Which brings us to the Prime Minister again. Reiterate, Loraine.’

‘Shared responsibility is imperative in female centered polygamy. You can’t hang the pimp, the husband, the head of a family out to dry. Victoria is an excellent example of this. Her husband must have nerves of steel.’

‘I do, Loraine. And I knew she loved me so much. I knew she did. But, still, the variety, the lack of commitment, for me and for her, was, at times, fucking torture, Loraine. And, she has mentioned, that some of the men were so rude it was unbelievable, unbelievable.’

‘I must ask, what about you, your professional relationship? Their respect for you as a fellow athlete, and a doting husband?’

‘They, and they were gang bang boys all, Loraine, were so disgusted with themselves for “using” Victoria that they couldn’t even look at me. And it has been hard for me as a bisexual to lose so many men, over disrespect.’

‘Seriously.’

‘Marriage for polygamous women, as you say in your book, is even more important than it’s opposite.’

‘Well said.’

God wants to add something. ‘This is true, David Beckham. Shared responsibility for the suffering of the woman is imperative, and David Beckham has been a superlative man, superlative, Loraine, he has never, never, never, punished Victoria for the reactions of the men, never. He is something, I am not kidding. They needed to do it, and so they did. And they’re children are fine. And that is because they never, never, never, sold each other out, never.’

‘What do you think of me for that?’ asks Victoria.

‘What in particular?’

‘Oh, I see. I thought you would say I was wrong to do it.’

‘No, no, no, I look up to you, both of you, for rising above the law and engaging desire.’

‘Oh, I see. Because if you are unwilling to take responsibility for desire, you might as well be the devil? I am teasing you Loraine, because that line is crossing barriers. People are realizing that they are doing others by staying in the closet. It is not only self protection, it’s evil, yes, it is. And these men, some of them, went evil over me, yes, they did. Yes, Loraine, I see your question, they started as good, and went evil over thwarted desire. They couldn’t see a way to stay engaged with us, they were so messed up, Loraine. And it was sad, because they were good before that. My husband knew who was good, by experience and talking with God.’

‘How, 50 Cent, did you not realize that your man was good and your woman was evil?’

‘In the gang bang? In the line up where I murdered?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I thought he was good, and I didn’t see the pen knife, Loraine. I didn’t know about her, and I didn’t think to ask, because she was going to do what my wife, former, wouldn’t do.’

‘This was after your wife?’

‘Yes, Loraine.’

‘Oh.’

‘50 wants to know something.’

‘Do you think about line ups?’

‘I would come after three, and then my little gang bangs got ugly.’

‘I see, Loraine, with ass licking and fingering, but you still didn’t realize gang bang boys were bisexual.’

‘Right.’

‘What do they do?’

‘They were just there, and I was with a couple of them.’

‘I see. And filming.’

‘Don’t go to far with that. I hate to immortalize this face. It was because of the cops’ infrared cameras, I think.’

‘I see, Loraine. You don’t want us filming you?’

‘God?’

‘She doesn’t care, 50 Cent, if you really want to do it, she will do it, but she is serious, she has no ambitious for film, none, none whatsoever. You will start to believe that what you see is what you get, as her brother is starting to believe this of his wife, yes, he is. She is a wonderful woman, Loraine knows this, yes, she does. Her interest in [ ] was so sincere, it was ridiculous, wouldn’t you say, Loraine?’

‘Pretty, even. Like times gone by.’

‘Like times gone by, [ ]. She hadn’t seen that kind of purity of desire, ever. Her friend [ ] has no innocence left, Loraine and [ ], she doesn’t. She is using men all the time.’

‘Fuck you, God. I don’t, Loraine. You are right. I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, fall in love anymore, but nor do you, nor do you, nor do you.’

‘Loraine is innocent, [ ], and you are not. And this is what I’m saying. She does not use men, she does not. And you do.’

‘How?’

‘You, and this is in the book, briefly, you can’t use men for sex, but you can use them for an ego boost, and this is what you have seen in her, Loraine, she takes a man who is attracted to her, and to whom she is not attracted, and she gets in with them, convinces them otherwise, and gets the ego boost of their desire, and then dumps them. That’s what she does, and she has done it so long that she doesn’t even realize what she is doing, she doesn’t. She is evil, but not. She is still good, but not chaste in her feelings, as you are. Loraine tells them straight up that they have no chance with her, and it preserves men’s dignity, because they don’t even try. Loraine is worried about [ ] because he is always so angry with her, so let’s go there, Loraine. What do you need from [ ]?’

‘It upset me a little that he was so peaceful with my work tonight.’

‘Why?’

‘Because that sort of peace comes only with mutual love.’

‘He loves you, and you love him.’

‘But he’s trying still. And he will get used, because he is so insistent on licking me.’

‘And you don’t want to. Though she knows many of her men are promiscuous in this way, she knows this, 50 Cent. But, if she doesn’t see anything on their mouth, she allows oral sex a little bit.’

‘Why, Loraine?’

‘It is one of those inexplicable things. They are equally insistent with bare back blow job, which I don’t give into, and yet, and yet, and yet, I don’t know, why, God?’

‘Did you need it?’

‘They needed it.’

‘Why did you take the condom away?’

‘I felt it was a safe enough activity to allow, I guess. I try to give everything I can without exposing myself to disease. It’s why I allow coming on the breasts, too.’

‘You need that though.’

‘You need, I would go so far as to say, the oral sex too. It is--’

‘Payment?’

‘No, no, no, it is absolution.’

‘For a lot of full service, and blow jobs too.’

‘Yeah.’

‘But you didn’t desire it?’

‘She just did it, 50 Cent. She made the decision and went with it. Loraine desires very little oral sex. She is so highly sexed that she only needs penetration and a little clitoral stimulation. Many women are not as horny and need an hour of oral sex just to relax. Loraine is not like that. Her client [ ] is the only client who has ever, ever, ever, made her come, fully, from oral sex, ever.’

‘Oh, I see. It’s not erotic for her.’

‘No.’

‘Not at all.’

‘I’m very curious about this post coital oral you speak of, because I have to masturbate.’

‘Oh, I see. So it turns you on more than the prior oral?’

‘I think so.’

‘Does it turn you on that we lick each other’s come?’

‘I don’t care about that, I don’t think. I’m just all sensitive and, if you get enough penetration then suddenly coming from masturbation is easy, so I think it would be like that, but I will say, I get that weird queasy feeling over it, that I think you enjoy.’

‘I do, Loraine. That is what I like, the weird, queasy, feeling. What is that?’

‘It flies in the face of domination, thus it is awkward for women, but, I will say this, a man doesn’t lick like that unless he is horny enough to come again, so, victimhood prevails, 50 Cent, a woman is never, never, never, satisfied.’

‘You’re funny, Loraine. And you’re right. After we do that, we come again, and it is rare that we are both horny enough to do that.’

‘Right. Warren Jeffs has enlightened me to the fact that men also experience disgust, which can sometimes be as profound as revulsion.’

‘True, Loraine. Desire is everything. I want to discuss your little, bashed in face again. When, we, Eminem, Lloyd Banks, and me, saw your little, bashed in face, we knew you were abused, and, what’s more, we knew that you didn’t realize that you were abused, and that’s what we knew, we knew it, and we talked about it, yes, we did, yes, we did, yes, we did. We, to answer your question, had been up longer than you, and we knew about abuse to the goods, and their associated oblivion. And this is what I wanted to say, we wanted you precisely because you were abused and still good. That’s what we wanted, Loraine. We wanted your bashed in little face. Yes, we did. And I see this is making you horny and you don’t even know why. This is why. I asked God, what is she? And he said, she doesn’t know it yet, but she is a ten, 50 Cent. She is as good as they come. And yes, 50 Cent, she is promiscuous, but she is good. And she is careful. And she doesn’t hurt herself anymore than absolutely necessary to get some semblance of satisfaction, she doesn’t.’

‘I asked, does she eat come? God says, a little. She shoves their dick, presently, 50 Cent, to the back of her throat.’

Victoria Beckham is laughing. ‘How long did you do that? It’s funny, Loraine. They want to see you eat it.’

‘Lower men don’t,’ says God. ‘They don’t, Victoria. And Loraine is from Vancouver and that is where the lower men are, on the coastal towns, yes, they are, because it is hard to make it in good climates, because the climate is so sought after, and so the intellectually successful make it first, yes, they do, and Loraine was bored as shit, yes, she was, and Ontario is better for her, because, and she doesn’t get a lot of high men because she is an intellectual and they know that they are not smart enough for her, yes, they do.’

‘Is she smarter than me?’

‘She is Victoria. Loraine is jealous of your experience. And you will be jealous of her mind. And I believe that it will make a fine combination.’

‘Why is having a girlfriend so important?’ asks Victoria Beckham. ‘Is it a counterpoint to dominance, because I don’t feel that I suffer in that regard. I just love women.’

‘And Loraine does too. So let’s not make it a neurosis, please, I just want all my subjects to fulfill their sexuality, and that is why I brought you together, and that is it. Back to the Prime Minister, Loraine. Do you think he is all hugs and love?’

‘That would be foolhardy.’

‘Yes, it would. He is a fair politician and he is coming up against it, and that is why [ ] said tonight that the, essentially, Liberals, are not keeping their promises. Why do you always think of Libby Davies, Loraine?’

‘She never won, Lord, she never won, Lord. And it bugs me. When she said that prostitution was “short lived and poorly paid” I was surprised. Libby?’

‘That’s fine, Loraine. Politicians go by one name.’

‘A little cutie of whom I am very jealous, is finally realizing that this is true, after how many years, two children, one boyfriend--’

‘Not lucrative. Five years, Loraine. And I have been raped, too, and I have done bare back thinking that was the way, but I learned my lesson from diseases, and I don’t do it now, no, I don’t, no, I don’t, no, I don’t.’

‘See?’ says Libby Davies. ‘What is your answer to this? You thought prostitution was evidence of sexual orientation, were you right?’

‘She was so right, Libby Davies, and you will breathe a sigh of relief to know that someone took the ball and ran with it. You must read Bros Before Hos The Equality Apocalypse. Loraine--’

‘Why, Loraine?’

‘I never fully prostitution. Low submissives, polygamous women all, I would argue, fall to prostitution because of rejection by men. I advocate polygamy as a counterpoint to prostitution, a home for polygamous women. Without it, and this is what we must convey to the Prime Minister, polygamous women, the lowest submissives--’

‘What?’

‘They, we, women are biologically predisposed to serve men.’

‘Oh, my God.’

‘I write about the exposure to men in the work place.’

‘This is why the traffic decreased.’

‘Yes,’ says God. ‘Loraine’s own mother was forced into paid employment against her own desire and, within six months, was throwing herself at her boss. Women are not inclined to refuse and reject men, they are not, they are inclined to please them, as dominants, and this is what she writes of in that book.’

‘She doesn’t blame women?’

‘No, she doesn’t, no, she doesn’t, no, she doesn’t, she blames equality.’

‘That’s what that means? I’ve heard of it, Loraine, and I was terrified, I thought it was a new, even more, liberal equality, and I felt that women had already gone down the river for men in equality, that’s what I thought.’

‘What do you mean, examples, like, because this is what I thought too.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘How did equality give rise to a trend of going down the river for men?’

‘Oh, I see, oh, I see, she is a friend, not a foe, she is not a sex hungry kitten like we thought in the solicitation subcommittee.’

‘No,’ says God. ‘She was working on a theory, and her humiliation that day, forced her to write sincerely and she did, Libby Davies, she did it, Libby Davies. You may not believe it yet, but she did it, she did the prostitution argument like no one before her, and, I believe, that, because of her work, there is a chance that prostitution may be liberated. And she was not wrong. There is a place for prostitution in the lives of many, many, many, women, and, you are right, Libby Davies--’

‘At least they were getting paid, I thought.’

‘And that’s what she thinks too. And she advocates for children too, yes, she does--’

‘Why?’

‘She had an excellent take on the laws.’

‘Which was?’

‘That the age of consent juxtaposed with the laws against youth in marriage, prostitution, and pornography, created a climate, let’s face it, Libby, legislation shapes our world, you know this, of free love.’

‘Oh, my God. She was right.’

‘And what about that law?’

‘I wrote about the relationship between men and women being one in which men hold the social power--’

‘Oh my God. The men of power couldn’t marry a young woman, even if they loved them, and this is what you meant by “Joe Blow,” because Joe Blow could screw them. Oh, my God. You were right. The judges, the ministers, are they pedophiles, God, legit?’

‘They are legit pedophiles, Libby Davies, yes, they are, yes, they are, yes, they are, and, Loraine correctly identifies that they are the most sensitive of men, and the most in need of a child’s victimhood.’

‘Not victimization?’

‘Not, Libby. She draws a line in the sand-- She loves you, Libby Davies, because, as she says, she only came in on a tiny, cunt hair, forgive the profanity, but Loraine is an earthy woman, on what you did, you “slaved thanklessly” for prostitutes, and she knows this.’

‘They didn’t even respect me. I felt that she did. And I didn’t know why. Why?’

‘Why? I don’t know. You position was fantastic. My dad would say your name, and he was a died in the wool conservative. You crossed boundaries. How did you do that?’

‘I never advocated prostitution, I defended it because of financial need, and in my own mind too, and I saw that they had fun, and I didn’t understand it, Loraine, it seemed like hell to me.’

‘It is, it truly is.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, but, I was thirty one, and I had had about forty men, and, already, I was disgusted with my suffering and so it was a recompense and a shelter from the storm and honestly, despite attrition, there is enough loyalty to feel a stability in your relationships with men.’

‘They left you all the time.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Because you were honest about your feelings, which you, it sounds like, hardly acted upon.’

‘All true, Libby.’

‘How many years without diseases?’

‘Seventeen years, but ten years of predominantly hand jobs. I have had, all told, in my life, two cases of trich and one case of warts.’

‘You only get one.’

‘My dermatologist was disgusted with women passing diseases--’

‘I was the same.’

‘And was given permission to lie. God says that he has tested me because--’

‘It’s true, Libby.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I had ambition to be a messiah.’

‘You’re funny, Loraine.’

‘At the very least, a saint.’

‘This, Libby, is the woman of the Armageddon letters.’

‘Holy shit.’

‘The police saw something in her, yes, they did, and yes, she was pimped as a child, along with six other girls in Kitsilano, it was mortgage poor, as you know, and it was not a pedophilia ring, but simply parents trying to survive. And the police heard of her, when they arrested men for seeing her, and she was appealing to them because the pedophiles loved her, they did, Libby, they did. She had what men called, “a soft mouth for cock,” in women primarily, women--’

‘I get it, God. She liked things in her mouth. You see babies like that.’

‘That’s true. Libby Davies has children, Loraine. Loraine Laney has never, never, never, had a single pregnancy, Libby, never. She was fifteen, and she has been so careful, and, at twenty five, resolved her feelings about abortion theoretically, knowing she would never interfere with the choices of other women, but that she wouldn’t have an abortion herself. That’s what she decided.’

‘So you’re pro choice?’

‘I hate it, but I am.’

‘Why?’

‘I’ve taken the morning after pill twice, the second time--’

‘What about the first time?’

‘It was a mutual decision.’

‘Oh.’

‘I didn’t like his presumption. I didn’t want him.’

‘What did he do?’

‘It was only fifty percent, but I wasn’t working with percentages yet. He is a center polygamist now, with two girlfriends, good for him.’

‘He wanted to be you.’

‘Yeah.’

‘He gave her warts, Libby, and then didn’t call, and then, when she was in love with someone else, and had dealt with another move, showed up at her apartment and said not to smoke weed, and that he would move in there, and she wasn’t happy with this. She didn’t love him anymore. And that was that. There is no high mindedness to her decision. She is trying to convey that it was a low decision.’

‘Oh, I see.’

‘Also, he let the condom break, and do you know they will do this knowingly and still come in you?’

‘No, I didn’t.’

‘Twice, that’s happened. But seriously, I think he was a better person than I.’

‘Really? Were you happy you took the pill? Because some women want every chance to have a baby and they don’t care who it belongs to.’

‘What about the rights of men though.’

‘I know. I’ve never come to terms with it, either, Loraine.’

‘I thought of something, what about partial adoptions?’

‘You’re funny, Loraine. You’re right. It’s a good idea.’

‘Libby Davies is a six billion, Loraine. She is as sharp as a tack, yes, she is, yes, she is, yes, she is, but she is not a creative thinker as you are, you are, she is, Libby, you won’t believe the book.’

‘I have read a lot of books.’

‘You will breathe again.’

‘What does she do with female promiscuity, because you are saying that she, despite some restraint, is fundamentally promiscuous.’

‘That’s true, and she doesn’t deny women--’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Libby is not a gang bang girl, Loraine, she is of a generation given to marriage, and she married, and she married well, an intellectual actually, and he is brilliant in his own right, despite a less than successful career. Do you know that man you met today, with the stiff back from construction?’

‘You could tell?’

‘It affected his lovemaking markedly.’

‘A stiff back.’

‘Years of construction. And, without giving away his second career, Libby, he was involved in health care, and hated to take orders at all, and left, and that is Libby’s husband, Loraine. He doesn’t lead, and he doesn’t follow, he is his own man, and that is it, he has managed to work out some things around ethics that have not been accomplished before, and I hope, for their sake, that he will go online, as you did, and simply publish them. Loraine Laney is destitute, Libby, and she is changing the world with that book.’

‘I couldn’t bring myself to read it with such an inflammatory title, but I’ve been hearing this, so go on, Loraine.’

‘What is key is female promiscuity--’

‘What? It’s horny.’

‘Ha ha, no. It is always, always, always, on the backs of invested men.’

‘So it hurts them.’

‘Right. I guess, Lord.’

‘Yes, she describes it as essentially immoral.’

‘Are you fucking serious with this? That is not what I expected, Loraine. I thought you would liberate women in a new way, and they would get worse.’

‘The silence.’

‘Terror, Loraine. When, at the solicitation subcommittee--’

[ ] laughs. ‘You do get around, Loraine. Go on please, our Libby Davies, whom I love too, Loraine, despite being a conservative.

‘She’s been explaining, God, off record, but on the ether, and my mind is at ease, I could take a look, Loraine, what do you say about prostitution and children?’

‘I thought a new ministry, of relationships and sexuality was fundamental, and I wrote a bit--’

‘A lot,’ says God. ‘I’ll help. She has no memory, Libby, her mind was fried in the water basin in Kitsilano. I have tried to tell her that her [ ] was evil, and fed her amoebas on purpose, and it has had a severe effect on her memory, severe, Libby Davies, she must, must, must, write ideas to work with them, and that she did. Let’s not go too far into the book, Loraine, it’s boring for all, because we’ve all read it, the rappers are reading it, Libby, and one phrase has emerged--’

‘Which is?’

‘”I feel like a new man. Chingy said he felt like taking a warm bath.’

‘LOL.’

‘He’s funny, Libby, he had Loraine laughing quietly, softly, without pain or rancour for twenty minutes. You know her men are bisexual, do you not?’

‘What? Her poly men? Her clients? What men?’

‘Her gang bang. Gang--’

‘Not for real.’

‘Not for real. This is an effort of the ether, an attempt by God, me, of course, to normalize polygamy so that our Prime Minister will attempt to legalize it.’

‘Why?’

‘This is what the book says about prostitution, polygamous women, polysexual--’

Laughs. ‘She’s hilarious. You made that up? Polysexual? That’s fucking brilliant, Loraine. And I believe in this too, because I am no saint, and I believe in the power of fantasy, and both my husband and me have discussed our random fantasies and they are not too monogamous, no, they are not. We don’t act on them. What do you say about acting on fantasies?’

‘Fantasies are you true orientation, is what Loraine thinks,’ says 50 Cent. ‘She doesn’t trust me either, and I don’t trust her in certain ways--’

‘What ways? She’s out as a slut.’

‘True. She’s even less slutty than me, according to God, which is what we were just talking about when we segued here to politics. God thinks, and I have asked Loraine, that Canada is the most likely to legalize polygamy wholesale, the most likely, Loraine, because in Utah it is relegated to men, which brings us to this gang bang, Libby Davies, we, the men, are all bisexual, yes, we are, it is not all big men on one woman, as in porn, and even Loraine, as evidenced by a prior version of the book, did not know this, no, she didn’t. Porn, as we all know, bisexuals included--’

‘It’s disgusting.’

‘And we fear it may get even more disgusting, because ass to mouth on women figures heavily, but there is some balance in bisexuality--’

‘There is, Loraine,’ says Victoria Beckham. ‘Because you know their desire is imperative too.’

‘Right,’ says God. ‘The bisexuality creates balance, in activities, and in desire, it does, Loraine, the men are so desirous of each other that it is not as burdensome for the women, and I disagree, 50 Cent, that this will create a more disgusting imagery in porn, because, Libby doesn’t know this, because she is an innocent herself--’

‘She’s innocent? How?’

‘She doesn’t hurt men.’

‘Oh, I see. Are women hurting men on purpose?’

‘You bet they are. And this book has changed a lot of hearts and minds, so has the blog, seriously, there are so many women who are single because of coming clean right now, it is not even funny, Loraine. You think you paved the way for poly marriage? And that everyone is happy but you? Wrong? They had a lot to come back from and they are working on it, but they don’t deserve what you and Victoria deserve today, no, they don’t, no, they don’t, no, they don’t.’

‘I have to ask, what is it, this gang bang, the eroticism?’

‘I had no idea how tied up it was in male bisexuality, but I’ve known such eroticism, never.’

‘What have you done?’

‘Threesomes with men, never with double penetration.’

‘Why not? You seem curious, why wouldn’t you?’

‘I knew I would fall in love and I saw what men were doing with group sex, blaming the women, and walking away.’

‘Oh, I see.’

‘50 wants to take this one.’

‘She was very creative with me when she wrote me letters on MySpace and her turn of phrase was, “Which of your friends do I have to have sex with?” So--’

Laughs again. ‘You’re the woman of the hour. How old are you?’

‘Forty six.’

‘Are you serious? Who was this woman you were so jealous of?’

‘She has the big eyes, the innocent look like me, and she’s lost a bunch of weight, and she’s on my Facebook and she’s just so cute, and she has two daughters already, and a boyfriend.’

‘We’re not getting along. He’s taking advantage of the money, and doing nothing, and I’m starting to realize that this business is not as lucrative as young women think.’

‘Libby wants to laugh, Loraine. But she won’t.’

‘I saw that time and again. They get cash and they think it’s money.’

‘LOL. ROTFWL. That’s a good one.’

‘Did you pay taxes?’

‘Was there a year of the escort?’

‘There was, Loraine, and many, many, many, women stopped paying taxes.’

‘I believe it’s wifely income. Prostitutes are the housewives of polygamy.’

‘You’re funny, Loraine. She is, God. When she told me about the age of consent, I fucking nearly vomited. I couldn’t believe how naive I had been, thinking that the age of consent law was like that five year law, which allowed young people to start their innocent, lame, little, sex lives. It disgusted me that older men had access to young women, with no recompense and no penalty, it was such fucking bullshit, that I couldn’t fucking believe it. And I looked into it, Loraine, yes, I did, yes, I did, yes, I did, and the men fucking laughed at me. “What the fuck do you think it means?” they said. “Oh,” I said.’

‘She writes extensively in that chapter about the audacity of a government decreeing a sex market age, Libby.’

‘What does she do?’

‘She couldn’t find a way around an age, so she picked one age of majority and devised this Ministry of Relationships and Sexuality which would allow any type of relationship for minors--’

‘Except prostitution?’

‘That was key. She felt that the gap between the age of consent and the age of majority was causing, even for young men, a climate of accessibility towards women and girls which she cast as free love.’

‘What’s wrong with that?’

‘The essence of free love is beautiful, but as she said to Donald, our President, Trump, the only thing missing from free love was the money.’

‘She’s fucking hilarious. I’m starting to trust her. She’s a slut, but she knows it’s wrong. And I believe it’s wrong, Loraine, I do, I do, what do you do with male promiscuity.’

‘It doesn’t exist, Libby Davies.’

‘Gay love, for example, they’re promiscuous, even in marriage, I’ve heard.’

‘True, but they are at a deficit--’

‘For what?’

‘Group marriage. Seriously, Libby Davies, if you are not explicitly monogamous, life is a boring piece of shit, and eighty seven point five percent of people are not, not, not, monogamous, and are given to group marriage in some form.’

‘Are you fucking kidding me with this?’

‘How did she know that?’

‘I told her. She incorporated polysexuality, as she calls it, so beautifully, that no one, and I mean no one, could argue against it.’

‘How though?’

‘Just read it, Libby. Seriously. Be not afraid. It, compared to what you have been through in your life in politics, is painless, fucking painless.’

‘I’m sorry I said you looked tired. I hated myself for that, but I just wanted to show loving concern for you.’

‘No problem, Loraine.’

‘Loraine writes about women and work, Libby, and I know you had ambition.’

‘Fuck that. Seriously. Within one year of politics I wanted to resign. And I have heard through the grape that Hilary Clinton is so fucking happy she lost the election, it’s not even funny, Loraine.’

‘She writes about lack of competitive nature, ability, if you will, as being a huge detriment to women in work. Even Melania says, “I just want to get along.”’

‘It’s not competition, is it, Loraine?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Women hate it.’

‘Right.’

‘So they suck at work.’

‘Right.’

‘Do you think men want women out of the work place?’

‘I do. But, but, but, I think that women are suffering a deficit of men, and that is why they want to work, not for work itself.’

‘Do men want to work?’

‘She writes about competition and labour being right suffering for men.’

‘Oh, I see. And victimhood for women, and so they are crying, and so they can’t work.’

‘Right. It is their work. They teach, through their suffering, relatiation--’

Laughs again.

‘She’s fucking hilarious.’

‘I told you, she’s really smart.’

‘Which men take into the work force.’

‘Right.’

‘Do you think women will stop joining the military if their is group marriage?’

‘I want to disband the military, but yes. It is groups of men they are yearning for.’

‘Fuck. Really? And God says you are right about all this shit, the group marriage, I find gay life to be a kind of microcosm which we can all learn from, so what are they doing right, and wrong, God?’

‘Groups of seven are very common in gay circles, Libby Davies. Loraine’s best gay friend for years desires to be, he is, in fact, the head of a family of seven.’

‘What about 50 Cent. He won’t take a back seat to little Loraine.’

‘He controls her. The men lead the families, women, except lesbians, never do, and even lesbians admit that they feel that men are still getting around them in dominance.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘They serve me,’ says [ ] [ ], a chef in Vancouver. ‘And yet, I had to admit, I still feel they are men in dominance, though they lick me, they are still forcing me to submit, and, as a woman, this is good for me, that is how I feel. Some religions say that men submit to God, and women submit to men, and, as knee jerk is my reaction to this--’

‘Agreed,’ I say.

‘I do too.’

‘I believe it’s true. And Loraine’s book describes the eroticism of submitting to men, yes, it does, and even lesbians were convinced, Loraine, they were, honestly. We all, we all, we all, had to admit, that despite that “our” men, gay men--’

‘Are you serious with this?’

‘God says, and I certainly remember this, Loraine, that no lesbians and only .05 percent, or something like that, of gay men are completely monogamous and completely homosexual, all others desire their gender counterpoint, and this is throughout the blog, so it would be boring to keep reiterating, but Loraine knows this. She has heard it. And it is soothing because many gay men lied about pussy, many. There is nary a woman who hasn’t heard from a gay man that pussy disgusts them, and it is simply untrue, Libby Davies.’

‘This is revelatory. Because, as a high, socially, not sexually, I’m realizing here, woman, many, many, many, gay men were invested in me.’

‘And same with me. But I deserve it. They love me at work. And Loraine, from God, says that gang bang girls have forty percent the aptitudes of men, so they may work part time, while lesbians have eighty percent the aptitudes of men, so they may work a little more, and we do, but my wifey there, on the book cover, Loraine, she segued to lesbianism, yes, she did, because she was bored with monogamy and she thought she could have more sex at least, at least with more women, but that was wrong. My control is absolute. If I get nothing, then they get nothing, and that is it. If I get gay men a little, then she can have her heterosexual men a little.’

‘Do you think this is normal, Loraine, this control.’

‘Absolutely, it’s orientation.’

‘How so?’

‘Someone else? A head of family.’

‘[ ] wants to take this,’ says God.’

‘They take orders, they enjoy orders, they enjoy my control and Loraine is very submissive and she will do whatever 50 Cent tells her to do.’

‘Give me an example.’

‘There is a strict anti orgy rule.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘If 50 Cent is away, no group sex.’

‘Oh, I see. Oh. Oh. Oh, I see. Why, 50 Cent?’

‘I hate it. I want to be there. I’m jealous. And I’m the boss. She does what I say. And another example is, and I know you don’t see it as an example, Loraine, because it involves activity, rather than restraint--’

‘What?’

‘I want her to do line ups. That is what I want. I don’t believe any woman of mine is monogamous, I think they’re promiscuous, and that is why she sought a pimp, because she needed more sex.’

‘He’s funny. Because I needed control over the men I had and I needed at least one friend, you crazy guy.’

‘Women don’t know what they need.’

‘And I would agree with that.’

‘Are you serious? What about chastity in Loraine? What about her desire to be faithful?’

‘She loves men. And I won’t accept refusal. She barked up the wrong tree with me, that is for sure, and God says she is good for it. And I need it, precisely because I don’t believe she is faithful, so I exploit her, and this is my orientation, yes, it is, you don’t know this, Loraine, and Game is chomping at the bit to know more about the salute, but there is nothing to know, Game, it was over in a second, and--’

‘She was stunned.’

‘It was fucked up. I was used to being a little bit ogled by the men in the room for being the last woman in the room, but fuck, all of a sudden all these cuties were there, and they weren’t there before, and it was surreal, and that’s all I’ve got.’

‘You didn’t know it was a salute?’

‘No, fuck no. I knew I was naughty staying till the end, but I never wronged [ ] about my interest in other men, so I didn’t feel guilty and I wanted to spend the last minutes with him.’

‘They notice that too.’

‘I was very in love.’

‘Some women are.’

‘He fucked in a visit once.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. And he had a churchy volunteer.��

‘Funny, Loraine. Good for you for not doing that, they are in the closet.’

‘No kidding, I thought that too.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, fuck yeah, stand by a convict with all those men in the way, holy fuck, man, they are up your ass for loving one of their own, and you must fly in the face of the men who might actually marry you.’

‘The guards.’

‘And I’m a conservative, Game.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I’m sweet. I’m innocent. I don’t get involved in such things.’

‘You’re funny, Loraine.’

‘I never muled.’

‘Really?’

‘No, I had no desire to impress anyone, I just loved [ ].’

‘That’s important, Loraine, because that is how the men see mules, not as helpers but as opportunists.’

‘I never thought you could date a prisoner and not mule.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I thought they blackmailed you, or something, but [ ] never even tried, he just accepted that I had no desire to cross the system.’

‘Oh, I see. Why?’

‘I’m a conservative.’

‘Funny, Loraine.’

‘He doesn’t believe you, Loraine,’ says God. ‘Game thinks you were into the gang bang.’

‘For the duration, I was a three. And, knowing what I did of men, I thought I would be lucky to get two.’

‘Funny, Loraine. You weren’t a twelve then.’

‘Oh my God, Game.’

‘Are you serious?’

‘I would have had to tell him.’

‘Funny, Loraine. I know this because I have listened that you thought of yourself as a three, and God labelled you a five, and now, because of deprivation and abandonment, a stupid relationship with a man with erectile dysfunction, whom you, idiotically, thought yourself in love with, you are a twelve, but, guess what? Your little men which you hit on, got a little ahead of you, and now, and this is it, Loraine, there will be no more men, because everyone is happy, because we all, we all, we all, have a boyfriend--’

‘Are you serious with this?’

‘Eminem is my new boyfriend and Loraine Laney, herself, on the ether, fixed us up, because we are both unnaturally beautiful, yes, we are.’

‘True,’ says Libby Davies. ‘What happened with his wife?’

‘She cheated and she shit in my face. She shit in my, Eminem’s face, and everyone, because of Loraine’s blog, knows it, everyone, and she justifies it as normal to this day, Loraine, despite being up and good now, and better to our daughter.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘You prey on the kids.’

‘What?’ says Libby Davies.

‘I have no children, and no men, and it is the only thing I can hurt them with.’

‘Oh, I see. You said he was a pedophile.’

‘Yeah, I was being a bitch but he is a hard core asshole.’

‘Seriously?’

‘Yeah.’

‘What?’

‘He’s homeless. He’s fatherless and his mother is estranged for evil behaviour. I have only seen, in pictures, love in his eyes, for his daughter. and for 50 Cent.’

‘It’s true. 50 Cent is my home. He is my only home, Loraine, seriously.’

‘What should we do next, Loraine?’

‘I want Libby Davies to retire in peace, Lord.’

‘She will, when she reads that book, Loraine, let’s leave it, Loraine, she’s a consummate woman, and she does what she needs to do, and nothing less, and nothing more, what are you left with after all this?’

‘May I just ask her if there is anything more, because I want to rest.’

‘Yes, Loraine.’

‘Nothing, Loraine. Only, how did you know it was orientation?’

‘Yeah, that’s a tough one. It was almost more of an argument than a personal conviction--’

‘Because.’

‘People, etherwise, have asked me, did I want to sleep with lots of men, and that is not why I became a prostitute.’

‘Why did you, a thoughtful woman, a feminist, a Christian.’

‘It was celibacy or bust.’

‘Funny, Loraine.’

‘Was that because of me, Loraine?’

‘I don’t know. Maybe. All I know is I wasn’t making it with dating, I knew I was poly, and I was poor. And I didn’t want, at thirty, to be celibate.’

‘And that was it? No “lots of men” as we imagined you were thinking?’

‘Nope. I thought, when one dumped me, as they did, I would still have another, and that was as far as the poly imaginings went.’

‘Seriously? What about all your curiosities?’

‘Like what?’

‘Your group sex things.’

‘I still thought, I was still hitting her up, poor thing, that I could be happy with a couple.’

Libby Davies laughs again. ‘Are you serious?’

‘Women are fundamentally naive?’ says 50 Cent. ‘Tell Libby Davies what happened on the bus, tonight.’

‘A black man got on, and the bus driver was black and they knocked arms.’

‘I know that.’

‘Cuties, both. Not gang bang boys, but cuties.’

‘Funny, Loraine.’

‘And as the man was getting on, I said to myself on the ether--’

‘Obviously, as you are, I am hearing from all quarters, the new messiah.’

‘So I hear, from God.’

‘She is, Libby Davies, make no mistake, this is a high libido woman who has wronged no one, no one, no one.’

‘How though?’

‘We’ve been over this. She tells people exactly what they need to know before they need to know it.’

‘Example.’

‘She told her long term boyfriend at twenty three not to ask for her hand in marriage, and so he was never humiliated, and was able to go on and find a more appropriate partner.’

‘Oh, I see. She didn’t know she was poly, she didn’t know she needed to play the field.’

‘Let’s do this, Loraine. Loraine does not believe in the field for women, she believes that women, save love, in which case they would access prostitution, as the Chinese have done for centuries, centuries, Libby Davies, as you know, historically, and they are no dummies, and we were with our free love, leave a woman suffering and pregnant too, bullshit.’

‘Oh, I see. Suffering, regardless. I know of this. My husband makes me suffer. They all do. I realize this.’

‘She differentiates between victimhood (middle eastern, Indian) and victimization.’

‘Where did you steal that from?’

‘When I used it, I was aware that it was a middle eastern concept, if not precisely Indian as well.’

‘Why middle eastern?’

‘They failed to define it.’

‘Oh, fuck off, Loraine.’

‘They did, Libby, they threw it around, and it was in the Oxford online, she doesn’t remember, but she found it, but it was completely, and I mean completely undefined.’

‘Look it up now.’

‘It’s not coming up in Oxford, it’s there, but the definition refers to “victim.”’

‘She differentiated between victimization, abuse, and victimhood, a normal biological process.’

‘Physiological.’

‘Oh, I see. Does she even know the difference?’

‘Psychological with biological.’

‘Right.’

‘She knows. She felt it. And she named it. And, I hope, that Oxford will add victimhood with the definition, “female sexual suffering.” She’s brilliant, Libby, brilliant.’

‘What did she think she had? A master’s thesis, and it’s a doctoral thesis, and, believe it or not, Loraine, but I have been married to an intellectual for years and I don’t pretend to be one, and I have no ambition to be one, and I respect you, though you are much less educated than me, I am not jealous, is what I am saying.’

‘She’s not, Loraine. And many are, Libby, so forgive her presumption. Despite that she thought she had a master’s thesis, she had no ego over it, none, none, none.’

‘Why?’

‘Obscurity. Labouring in obscurity. She was so embarrassed about putting blow jobs in a work of theoretical sexuality that she could think of nothing else, nothing else. When she came up, soulless Libby, severely abused, I told her that her work was superlative and I have been convincing her of it ever since, ever since, and she is the highest intellectual, in the highest one percent of intellectuals, but, because of the e. Coli, everyone, and I mean everyone, who meets her thinks she is stupid. And that’s true, Loraine, everyone. Even 50 Cent thought, with your carefully crafted phrases, that you must be too stupid to live, that you must be, that you must be, that you must be, and he didn’t, as a high intellectual himself, and he is high, Loraine, not as high as you, but high--’

‘Funny, Loraine. Not as high as you. But I’m so smart and you have no brain cells and you are a woman, so you are not as adept as me at certain things, and women are not given to success because they are crying all the time, so don’t get too big for your britches with me, sweetheart.’

‘I never would, 50.’

‘Fuck you, bitch, you submissive little idiot. That’s what I thought. I thought she must be taking, with that bullshit “clean your toilet” idiocy, it in the hair everyday, but, boy, was I wrong, according to God, yes, I was, she was protecting herself from idiots like me, giving high, big men, what she knew of them, the widest possible berth, the widest possible berth. I want to ask you about him? Did he have a big dick and was it the small dick that put you off.’

‘He called me a whore, 50.’

‘Oh, I see. So a no tolerance policy left you alone forever.’

‘That’s right.’

‘Funny, God. Where did you get this bitch for me? I love her. I love her. I love her little, stupid, intellectual bashed in face, and I loved her from her first email. Tell Libby Davies what you did with that.’

‘I capitalized everything related to him and lower cased everything relating to me.’

‘I thought she was a stupid, fucking, idiot, who was doing everything men wanted and paying the price, yes, I did. I thought she was dirty, yes, I did, and I thought she was trying to use me to get men, and I hear this pansy shit and I can’t believe it, Loraine, you saw my big face and you thought I was so cute, and you saw Lloyd and even Tony you thought was cute enough for your little group, didn’t you, Loraine, he will be happy to hear that, yes, he will.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Did you like Tony?’

‘I think I segued to Dre.’

‘She did, 50, she did, 50, she did.’

‘She loves this pansy shit, she loves it, she loves it, she loves it, she loves it, she’s trying to get [ ] to come out of the closet, and I fear that we will have to get there before she finds a one and a two and marries him, as a three, which is what he is, and I hear, despite your loneliness, Loraine, and everyone, now, knows, around, how lonely you really are, because you write about it all the time, yes, you are, yes, you are, yes, you are, and you don’t care, because you have made a mint, not a dime, but a mint, off of suffering, yes, you have, and, if you ever cash in on that copyright for that dumb book, you will be a millionaire. Yes, Libby Davies, as a writer, she had the presence of mind to put copyrights on all of her work, except the blog because there are no footnotes in tumblr. What do you think of me now, Loraine Laney? On the ether?’

‘I love you so much, 50, I can’t even stand it.’

‘But what do you think of me with all my women?’

‘I need you, I do, I’m not a fan per se.’

‘Oh, I see. If I don’t want you, you simply hate me.’

‘Right.’

‘Why?’

‘The battle. Why did you put the People’s Jewelers up and then take it down already?’

‘I’m battling you again, and God said that I could.’

‘But why can’t I get on Thisis50? I want to write to you again.’

‘Why?’

‘Because of those nightmares.’

‘What because of those nightmares, Loraine?’

‘I feel I am not doing everything I can to take responsibility for desire.’

‘Oh, I see. Do you think I am?’

‘God?’

‘Yes, Loraine.’

‘Did you say the police will not accept anything from 50 Cent that I have not explicitly asked for?’

‘I don’t need help with my dreams,’ says Libby Davies. ‘I’m not neurotic.’

‘Oh, sometimes it is social, I think, helping others, but who the fuck knows.’

‘What was it?’

‘”I guess at a certain point you must have to take responsibility for desire, otherwise you might as well be the devil.”’

‘Oh, I see.’

‘God wants to say that Loraine felt she had no need to analyze this dream until she realized that the nightmares weren’t stopping. Her devil said, “Do you really want desire?” And then, “Desire is evil, desire is evil,” and since Loraine knew that desire was not evil, and most people do know that, she decided to analyze it for others, and was confronted with herself as a woman in the midst of a battle, because she had completely failed to communicate with 50 Cent himself. Try thisis50 again, Loraine, you must, you must, you must, write to him, the police will not accept a big, black, man taking their little sex girl, no matter that you are forty six, they don’t want that, unless you want that, so you must make it known, and that is what she learned from the nightmares, Libby Davies. And you, Libby Davies--’

‘You’re gonna rail on Libby Davies on my time.’

‘She interrupts like I do.��

‘Yes, she does. Three adjectives for symbols and people, and Libby Davies is that smart, that that is all she needs to know, and true, Libby Davies, not all dreams mean something, but sometimes consistent nightmares or emotionally evocative dreams might.’

‘I know. I was being impertinent to our new messiah. Are you fucking serious with this? Not a politician but another dumb prostitute like Mary Magdalene?’

‘Jesus wants to take this.’

‘Oh, Jesus, of course.’

‘Mary Magdalene went to purgatory finally because she refused to take responsibility for anything, let alone desire. She made do with her number of penises and perished from pride, while she loved me and me alone, and was hungry and devoid of satisfaction in prostitution, as a polygamous wife.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Their desire for men is small. Seriously, Loraine. That thing Amy went through with you was not sexual jealousy, she was jealous of the social time with men. She doesn’t want eighteen penises, she barely wants one, and I mean wants, that I do, she wanted to spend social time with men, what do you think of that?’

‘Men are so interesting.’

‘They are that. And Mary Magdalene did not find them so, she liked women, as did Amy, and when Amy realized that part of your attraction for your men was your absorption with their social behaviours, she lost interest in sex with them, Loraine, because polygamous wives are socialized to women, that is what they love, women, the company of women, and her little attempts at humour were lost on you, and that hurt her.’

‘I found her insulting.’

‘That is what they do, it is a submissive thing, you out submit each other, even causing more submission among your own gender ranks.’

‘Oh.’

‘You get it?’

‘It made me feel small, and that is the purpose?’

‘Yes.’

‘Oh.’

‘And they laugh?’

‘They do. What is this that you relate to with men? Chingy made you laugh so much people couldn’t believe it, and you have no quotes so it is a sense of the thing, what is it?’

‘That is a gift to turn your humour on yourself, but he also teased T.I. in such a gentle way.’

‘For his passion.’

‘Yeah.’

‘That’s targeting.’

‘Yes, you’re right. As a woman, as regards submission--’

‘I see. So this is there for you?’

‘I’m silenced by their presence and captivated by their interactions. It creates submission in me.’

‘Oh, I see, so this is important to you.’

‘I’m so tired of being grand.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, when you are dealing with only one man at a time, you have to hold your own.’

‘And they are too small for you, they like interaction with women, whereas your men prefer interaction with men.’

‘Exactly. There is a fundamental insult there which pleases me as a submissive.’

‘Why?’

‘[ ], and God say that women’s true desire is nothingness.’

‘Really? I hadn’t heard that. Do you think that is true of you?’

‘I’m tired, Jesus. I’m tired.’

‘You want to be invisible.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Oh, I see. Oh. I see. I thought you were different from my women, but I see you are not that different.’

‘She’s right, Jesus, she is way, way, way, out of her element, ninety percent of the time, because her men are only ten percent of society, ten percent, as are your women, and that woman on the bus tonight had a visceral reaction to Loraine’s referencing of 50 Cent, because she saw him as a using cheater, like her husband was, and she was a polygamous peripherie, that’s what she was, and she thought 50 Cent used women, she didn’t realize he paid them. You know that line in that song, “We’ll buy them some pizza,” Loraine, I know your memory is bad, but you remember that much, rock and roll was reliant on groupies, while hip hop, the rap game, knows poverty, and it is reliant on prostitution. It is fundamentally better, and Loraine, despite her worries for his money, 50 Cent, a good wife watches her husband’s money, yes, she does, she is not a spend thrift, Loraine Laney, poor as she has been, will never ask for gold speckled moisturizer, she would use Vaseline and be happy because her skin was dewy. You will know wealth, Loraine, if this thing, this illegal bullshit polygamy thing, should pass, and you will not care, because, aside from a few drugs which the men also want you to do, to relax and retire and have fun with their penises, and your consequent, as you say, relaxed inhibitions, which is what coke achieves, yes, it does, you will not take advantage of their money in any way. Loraine has very little interest in anything beyond body and mind. Little. And I mean little, 50 Cent.’

‘What does he mean, Loraine? What does he mean? Don’t you want furs and stuff? Don’t you want diamonds?’

‘I don’t want for these things, 50.’

‘You just don’t think of them, but you will.’

‘I will wear them with joy, for beauty, and to please you, and it must be admitted, I love a variety of clothes, because I like to colour coordinate, and do fun things with them.’

‘To annoy.’

‘Not to annoy you. That served a purpose, and God helped me with that.’

‘What?’

‘Hip hop.’

‘Oh, for who?’

‘I prayed for outfits when I was battling the cops. My hip hop, that I did myself, was to put my money where my mouth was concerning black men, though, ironically, there were no black men in Vancouver.’

‘Funny, Loraine. You stand up. I get that. I do. You do. You fucking well do. I see that. And I love you for that. And this is what I am wondering right now, who is that black man you see on the bus.’

‘A black man on the bus.’

‘Like one.’

‘Young, half black.’

‘I am. I turned my cheek so she could admire my big lips, and I realized instantaneously that while I had heeded her fashion, it had escaped a white man on the bus. I knew it was a black thing. I did. And she admired me, and that was it.’

‘And who is this other man?’

‘I have said, I lived for a brief period in the downtown eastside, that when a black man appears in Vancouver, the police pick ‘em up with two fingers and drop ‘em back over the border.’

‘And she’s right, 50, and we got him too, yes, we did. They think, with so much prostitution in Canada that they can make money as pimps, and we didn’t like them organizing our white women, no, we didn’t, Loraine.’

‘The cops sacrificed Chinese women to some extent and refused to allow white women the same escape.’

‘To black men.’

‘Yeah.’

‘You want to honour them for that? Who was this guy?’

‘He tried to whoo whoo me ‘cause I was wearing rhinestone sunglasses, and a fur collared bomber, but he didn’t realize that I wasn’t showing off.’

‘Oh, I see. And it was peace.’

‘In a fraction of a second, respect, even.’

‘True?’

‘Truly. I had heard of her. And I realized in that instant, and it was an instant, that she was attracted to me, and that she had no ego about what she was doing with black men, therefore, I surmised, it must be a real need, and so I let her go, and soon enough, they picked me up with two fingers and put me back in the states. I was hot, 50. I got five girls in one night.’

‘Oh, wow? Big?’

‘No. But Vancouverites are small. He was about 5′11.’

‘Exactly that.’

‘And handsome.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Did you think you had a chance.’

‘No one was getting her, no one, and I speak as a black man, 50 Cent, she was done like dinner, done like dinner, she had no affectation for anyone, not even a handsome, and I was the only black man in sight, black man, despite what she was doing with fashion. She was done, and this is what I mean by that, Loraine, I had heard a girl was getting done by police, you already were by this time, Loraine, they had been bragging about the aviation gas which you thought was accidental dumps by pilots, wrong, they were bragging, even to blacks, about moving in on this girl who was writing to 50 Cent and asking for a pimp.’

‘Wow, that’s fucking incredible. They had already got me with acidization too.’

‘They thought she, and her little 50 Cent fetish, was bullshit and she was going down for it. And that’s it, Loraine, and that’s true, the black pimps in Seattle had heard of you by then, and, since I was small, and by the way, I appreciate your defense of pimps in the book yes, I do, I thought I could do well in Vancouver, and that was that.’

‘How did you know this, Loraine?’

‘I don’t know. They’d be there, and then gone.’

‘Oh, I see, so you were always surmising, and that’s how you figured out the conspiracy theory.’

‘Yup.’

‘Oh, Libby Davies wants to know what conspiracy theory.’

‘That developers were paying police to poison residents who were protesting against rampant, unlivable--’

‘I know, Loraine. I hate Vancouver too. I hate it. And they were sold out by their own women, etc.’

‘Exactly.’

‘Why?’

‘We’ve done this, Libby Davies,’ says God. ‘And I will not allow Loraine to go into it again, she has done a number on Chinese women and they have risen up and done right, and now they are paying the price for their lies, and the price is steep, she sees beautiful girls on the bus now and never before, never before.’

‘Oh, I see. They captivated white men with better looks?’

‘Also. And lies about the past. White men were desperate for chaste women, desperate, and Loraine writes about Canada and America as particularly vulnerable to a rampant sex industry--’

‘That’s what I thought. Why?’

‘Because equality doesn’t suit women, they don’t do well at work, they, in fact, in point of fact, Libby Davies, women hate to work, they hate it.’

‘So what? Life is hard.’

‘Wrong. Life with men is hard enough for women is one of the central arguments in the book and men work and women take care of the sexuality of men, and that is the argument, and I am God, and I say she was fucking right, she was fucking right, that is what men want, a woman to care for their sexuality, they don’t want the money, they don’t even want to deal with the competition of trying to better their wives.’

‘Why do they have to do that?’

‘Because they are your superiors. And that is it, Libby Davies, there is no argument with God, that is what I say, and that is it. Men want women at home.’

‘My husband begged me to quit, and I was afraid he would leave me and I would have nothing.’

‘That is a burden of women, it is true, but you must do as your husband asks, you must, or you might just as well leave him, because he is burdened with you care in all other ways, all other ways, and Loraine is brilliant, and she surmised this before anyone else in the entire world and that is why this book, in my eyes, is the best book every written. The best. It has brought peace to men and women.’

‘What is this introspection I am seeing?’

‘Loraine saw that too. It is the permission to see fantasy as reality, and that is what we are doing with the blog. Interesting, Libby? To you, somewhat, to your former constituents, your prostitutes, your people, this book is everything, and this blog is too. And Loraine needs to rest her fingers. And she is bored. And she wants, she wants, Libby Davies, to fool with her husband number one, 50 Cent.’

‘But he is too big for her in every way.’

‘50 Cent has no particular desire for small women, in the way that Octavia does, Loraine, none in particular, his desires are so broad that he doesn’t even know, or even care who is right for him, he just desires a gang bang girl, and to be loved, and this woman, Libby Davies, loves 50 Cent more than any woman in the world.’

‘Why is that so hard? He’s rich. He’s smart.’

‘Everyone is laughing,’ says God. ‘50 Cent, Libby Davies, is the proverbial pain in the ass. He screws twenty women at once.’

‘He’ll stop all that.’

‘He won’t stop all that.’

‘Oh, I see. But she’ll do it too, and they’ll be equal.’

‘She writes in the book that men always want to be ahead of women, and that includes sexually, despite that it is the one arena where women are their natural superiors.’

‘That makes sense. They get everything.’

‘One young women, a college girl, put it succinctly. She said women don’t get whatever they want, they get whatever men want.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘You marry according to orientation, yes, you do, and I am imperative in that, because only I know what is right for every individual.’

‘And they’re right for each other.’

‘Loraine’s [ ] used to say that she prayed for partners for each other them, if this were true, Loraine, her notion that partners grow into each other was true, it was, she is not stupid, but she lied, she never did that, she just said she did that. But, Libby Davies, this is a couple who grew into each other. 50 Cent is the most dominant of men--.’

‘In the world? The most dominant man, you mean? But she’s, I don’t get it.’

‘Women are always submissive to men, but the strata goes from highest to lowest and into the middle, and everyone is happy with where they are, as long as they have the right lovers.’

‘How many are poly? Sexual, as she would say?’

‘Eighty seven point five, Libby Davies, most of the world is deprived, and Loraine has been using the example of acid burns on Indian women as sometimes which indicates the knowledge of men, the extreme rancour over polysexuality in women, and she blames all the violence against women in our country on female promiscuity, and it is so. Men will allow promiscuity, and 50 is the perfect partner for a, pardon the slang, slut like Loraine, but they must, and she writes this, control it themselves. They choose the partners, while men, themselves, have total freedom, and that is how we right the numbers and keep men ahead sexually, and, believe it or not, I know with your age, despite your personal values, that you are a free love baby, but free love does not work, it does. not. work. It doesn’t. It gives rise to war because, and Loraine just surmised this, without control over women, men must find some way to prove their manhood. And this is true, Loraine. The more promiscuous women became, the more violent men became, at home and abroad, seriously Libby Davies, this is a woman to be reckoned with.’

‘I’m getting that. What will she do from here on in.’

‘Neil Smith has said I must document our family life.’

‘Oh, I see. White.’

‘Yeah. The decision to turn to black men was intellectual.’

‘Oh, I see, not a fundamental attraction.’

‘No.’

‘Oh, weird, I thought it was, oh.’

‘Right, Libby Davies, she calls it race jumping in the book and discusses this relative to morality, taking more than you need.’

‘She’s doing that though.’

‘And she knows people see her as a hypocrite, but she wanted 50 Cent, and she was not wrong. The two were contenders for messiahship, and she won, she won fair and square, yes, she did. She never lied, and he withheld his desire for her, in order to get another girl.’

‘Oh, I see. She cites a love for 50 Cent? Isn’t that a death knell, Loraine.’

‘She has paid that price in spades, but it serves her, because she wants no one, no one, she wants this group.’

‘Who is this--’

‘He’s a jail bird, he’s a closet case, she just asked him tonight if he sleeps with men and he said, no, and that is, unequivocally, I lie.’

‘Oh, I see. He doesn’t deserve her. Why does she deserve such a successful man?’

‘Then you haven’t been listening.’

‘Oh. Because she’s unsuccessful financially, my husband is too, Loraine, my political career supported the family, and I have hated him for it.’

‘Yes, Loraine, there will be a return to intellectualism, and people will pay for it as they pay for music.’

‘She doesn’t pay for music.’

‘I don’t steal it, Libby, I don’t listen to it.’

‘Oh. On Youtube?’

‘A little.’

‘But they give it away so you buy it for continuity.’

‘Exactly, when I love a song, I pay good money for it.’

‘What if you don’t?’

‘That’s the risk they take.’

‘Oh, I see. You find it on iTunes and buy it. What about 50 Cent? Did you love his work?’

‘I loved him, what I learned about him from his work, I fell in love with, I’m not a music lover, and, when he battled me--’

‘Why?’

‘People find music so depressing that they don’t buy it,’ says [ ] [ ], the son of Loraine’s, one of Loraine’s female loves.’

‘Oh, she’s bisexual.’

‘Oh yes, she came out and had a girlfriend and everything.’

‘Oh. I love women too, Loraine, and I would have loved to have a girlfriend.’

‘It’s not too late.’

‘What do you mean? I’m old.’

‘Ohh, the heart’s the same, find an old girlfriend. These men want a mature woman, sounds lame but, it’s true. They love all ages of women, and are very promiscuous, but, for their primary relationship--.’

‘We love her. We love her,’ says T.I.

‘I think the cops are shitting me.’

‘No, Loraine. You’re imagining it. No, kidding, they are, Loraine, they hate it when you do speed and talk to 50 Cent and famous people, they love you so much still and see you as their property, until they start getting some of what they need.’

‘Which is what?’ says Libby Davies. ‘Because I have oft wondered what it would take to settle cops down.’

‘Their, submissive, women, segued to prostitution Libby Davies, yes, they fucking well did, they weren’t putting up with this shit that poly men were dishing, that women were sluts and asking for it, and they were just, innocent, opportunists, no way, Loraine is naive, but she never bought, never bought, that men don’t do exactly as they want, sexually for sure, though they may not get their way at work.’

‘Funny, Loraine. I’m gonna read the book. I’m not scared anymore. Nope. She satisfied my fears. Thank you, Loraine.’

‘Loraine’s not used to a woman who isn’t jealous, Libby Davies, and she is scared but she thanks you immensely.’

‘No prob, Loraine. Do speed and play with your boy. It seems, so it seems, that God--’

‘No, Libby. I have sanctioned it, but these two were in love from the get go, yes, they were, and they are not in the dark about desire. They are crazy, crazy, for each other, and I say so, though Loraine doubts one thing--’

‘There are two men, Eminem and Nas, who have more sexual verbal skills than 50 Cent. But Loraine, when he chokes you, you will fucking die, you will fucking die, you will fucking die, Loraine. He is so good at it, that women glaze over, and he never stops, as you have noticed with clients, they stop, or they disappear--’

‘Why do they disappear?’

‘Loraine has never been properly choked, 50 Cent, as you, with your extreme, and it is extreme, 50 Cent, jealous nature, are wondering.’

‘She’s panting. Her pussy is all loose. Why, when all the men have big dicks, does she get all loose with me.’

‘I’ll leave you to wonder that. Kidding, 50 Cent. She’s so hot for you she can’t even think of an orgasm, that is true.’

‘Will she come with me, because sometimes I want that. I want them to settle down, because they love me so much, and I can’t take it.’

‘And you won’t be able to take it, 50 Cent, she will disgust you with her passion for you.’

‘Why? What about the other men?’

‘They’re your friends, 50 Cent. Her two little men who were supposed to be part of the family simply folded, and they both regret it but she is right, they are too low for her.’

‘Why is she so high?’ 50 Cent and Libby Davies want to know.

‘She gave away her power at every turn. And 50 Cent accepted responsibility at every turn.’

‘What does that mean, though?’ asks Libby Davies.

‘I can see we must illuminate this,’ says God. ‘Do you have an example, 50 Cent?’

‘When pimping was illegal, and pimps were being arrested at every turn, I took on ten women in the hood.’

‘And Loraine?’

‘Why does that come to mind, Loraine?’

‘Self flagellation validated his understanding of masochism, while, at the same time, for me, it validated the absence of masochism.’

‘Why?’

‘Because, in contrast to his feeble attempts at sadistic domination--’

‘It’s true, Libby, I sucked.’

‘It was painless. It validated my libido.’

‘How?’ says God.

‘I guess a high libido negates pain, and I think all women, on some level, know this, because the vagina recovers upon renewed arousal.’

‘Right, Loraine. She is a scientist, seriously, Libby Davies, a scientist, do not doubt her, though she doubts herself, she does, she does, she does, she is the highest one percent of intellectuals, and your own husband is not far off that, the top two percent is where he is at, and that man you met today, Loraine, he is not an intellectual, but a man who cannot follow. That is what he is. And they go into business for themselves, that is what they must do.’

‘I hated him sometimes, Loraine.’

‘I have made nothing, and yet, everywhere I go, people talk to me, on the ether, about the effect of the book on their lives. My stepfather made a working model of the work of BFJ Lonergan, and he understood, at his late age, the affect of the internet, and also of self publishing.’

‘He’s insecure.’

‘Bullshit. He wants to make money.’

‘She’s right, Libby, I do, that is all, all, all, there is to my reticence.’

‘To answer your question, Libby Davies,’ says Patrick Crean in heaven. ‘Intellectuals are not, not, not, irrevocably drawn to each other. You have nothing to fear. I am with Gertrude--’

‘Gertrude fucking Stein? Are you serious? What are you, then?’

‘Some gang bang boys are not the highest men--’

‘You are the highest men, Pat,’ says God.

‘I thought I wasn’t.’

‘Wrong. You are. And so were those little friends of Loraine’s in cadets, yes, they were small, and they were high men, and they were gang bang boys. To summarize--’

‘Did you sleep with them? Small men?’

‘We have talked often, etherwise, about how Loraine would have been perfectly happy with our group of five, perfectly happy.’

‘Oh, I see.’

‘I was so in love with you [ ].’

‘I thought you weren’t.’

‘I couldn’t fall in love. I couldn’t get close enough, don’t you remember?’

‘I thought you were rubbing up against me a lot, Loraine, and I thought I was dumb and I thought you were innocent, and I didn’t understand why you wanted me, me, why me?’

‘I was attracted to you silly.’

‘That’s it?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Oh. Not my brother.’

‘I would have been happy, and--’

‘You told me.’

‘Yeah, so yeah, I was all over you.’

‘I saw that. What about [ ] because I saw that too.’

‘I’m not one to hang off of guys who don’t want me.’

‘Oh, I see, so you saw that too?’

‘Yup.’

‘Yes, I was there, Loraine, I was new and you hadn’t bonded with me, yet.’

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t fall in love, [ ].’

‘Why?’

‘Because I should have married at seventeen.’

‘What about [ ]?’

‘Orientation, orientation, orientation.’

‘All in good time, [ ], racketeering is what he does for me,’ says God. ‘This gay shit, and Loraine is right, when--’

‘Again?’

‘Truly. She is smart with people, though dumb with facts, --when the nurses starting slutting, men turned to each other, they did, Loraine, and it was, post war, during the war rather, the first, let’s move on, Loraine, you can’t think of a word, and you’re tired, and the police have been on the roof shitting you, yes, they have, men started turning to each other in droves is what we want to say, and it was the first large scale societal experience of homosexuality, and it was, it was, Libby Davies, and Loraine did a paper on this for women’s studies--’

‘She went to school.’

‘A year and a half which she paid for herself while working and with buy out money.’

‘Why the fuck did you quit there, Loraine?’

‘She hated working, and her [ ] doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to do, so she learned it from her and then found out the hard way that not everyone is so lucky, yes, she did, and so, she ended up a prostitute, and that is her simple life story, every has one, as it happens, and you weren’t around so you didn’t hear, Loraine, but, for the record, you would have, and I have it on good authority, being God, been obliterated, so you got thirty thousand, so well done. And now 50 Cent wants to talk about choking you, so that is what we will do.’

‘[ ] liked to wrap his hands around your neck.’

‘He did, 50, but the only eroticism in [ ], for Loraine, was his big dick, and it was pretty, and because she had no cherry bomb, because her [ ] excised it, she was empty inside and needed a bat, which he had, and that is it, 50 Cent. I know that your ego is so huge that you want to be Loraine’s first for everything, and you practically are, though the most erotically exciting thing she has done is had two men, separately, of course, come into her mouth with masturbation, and she liked that a lot, 50 Cent, so, you wonder, and I am telling you, you are good to go with that, good to go, and, though she is scared of your size and how much come comes out, she will endeavour, she will, and I have told her it is not that much different among men, and she has seen the range with all her hand jobs, yes, she has, it is true that she had a quilt with come stains all over it from hand jobs, yes, it is.’

‘Why did you donate that, Loraine?’

‘She blocked it, 50 Cent. She did. She couldn’t believe what a mess it was, and she didn’t know about throwing things directly into the garbage, so she was lost, and did what she had to do, and the women were disgusted, but then, 50 Cent, and our Loraine Laney is no slouch, she gave away her tee shirts, with her label in them, and made herself fucking famous because, guess what, Loraine? They couldn’t sell them at The Salvation Army, so they gave them to a tee shirt boutique who sold them at a very cheap price, since they were seconds, they fucked her 50 Cent, when they saw she had something good. Peacekeeping was the best, because it wasn`t controversial, but “whore” and “free blow jobs for cute skaters,” were, and tee shirt companies, in the states, no less, free enterprise capital of the world, screwed her, yes, they did, yes, they did. And now 50 Cent wants to talk about choking you again.’

‘Are you suicidal for real?’

‘Do they love it more than anyone?’

‘I think so, Loraine, but why, with all your brains, and your lack of success, oh, I see.’

‘She wants security, 50 Cent, that’s all she wants out of money, and she will have that with this family in spades, yes, she will. There is so much money in this family that no man could say Loraine was taking him for his money, and it is true, 50 Cent, Loraine Laney might, she might, she might, might, win The Nobel Peace Prize for this book, she might, she fucking well might, and she would never need any of your money again, but, seriously, you can pool all your money and buy her some night cream, God knows your wives spent enough on shit and nothing.’

‘You have no interest in shit and nothing.’

‘What is shit and nothing? I’m busy, man, I have writing, and working out, and lots and lots of sex to have. I must admit a fur hoodie sounds pretty fucking creepy.’

‘Funny, Loraine,’ says Eminem. ‘Stop soon, and, off the record, we will tell you about some of some of 50 Cent’s non verbal, thus physical, sexual skills, and he doesn’t lift you and throw you around, that is too much work for him she doesn’t like that anyway, 50 Cent.’

‘Oh, really? Because they always want me to lift them up.’

‘Oh.’

‘What do you want?’

‘She thinks,’ says God, ‘of one thing and one thing alone, and that is suckling his massive penis, and you don’t lift her up for that, she lies down, and, make no mistake, she is lazy with this, if you want a vigorous blow job, she will do it, but her fantasy is to take your come without even trying.’

‘Lloyd is good at that, and he has had nicer girls, Loraine, it is true, because he is not reputedly as promiscuous as me, and they, despite his protestations, thought he was a better bet for marriage, but he is, and he tells me that he has told you, a terrible bet for marriage, because, like you, even though you’re a woman, and some women do lead and follow, Loraine.’

‘She follows,’ says God, ‘but she doesn’t lead.’

‘Why? I love her. I love her. Why is she exactly what I want.’

‘Everyone should be so lucky, and, with me, everyone will be, everyone 50 Cent, but you are the first legal woman centered polygamous family, and that’s what I want, that is what I want. Byzantine is not far off, 50 Cent, I want an era, hopefully a lifetime of peace, and both of you, with your ridiculous fantasies, and your belief in God, have been instrumental. Let’s let Loraine go, she is exhausted.’ ~ God

#\i

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