#awww I'm a shy duck myself so I understand

[orange-waterfalls]

It's Not A Joke

Captain Magnum x gender neutral!reader

@sierracolorstheworldofwords ty for the request!

A/N: The ending was a bit rushed because I wanted to get it done before I went to sleep and it is almost midnight,,, so,,, uh Rated T for swearing. Magnum being an oblivious FUCK and reader getting tired of his bullshit. Fluff. Slight angst at some points. This one's a bit short, sorry. Enjoy!

Word Count: 1.9k

--

You stare at Captain Magnum and sigh. He was so wonderful… he was fun, handsome, not to mention tall…

It's really no surprise you have a crush on him.

Every single person on the crew knows of your little crush, and you know that they know. It was obvious! You'd always stutter around him, you blushed whenever he complimented you, and you did everything he asked of you immediately and without question. Everyone knows.

Except, of course, the captain himself.

Everyone was surprised he didn't know, including you. You thought you were being pretty open about it. Granted, you hadn't actually told him yet, but he probably should've figured it out by now. For a pirate captain, he was pretty dumb.

"Really? Again?" Magnum's previous first mate asks. You'd started talking to him after you were made first mate, and you two got along. You both could complain about the captain to each other. You also learned his name was First Mate John. Well… just John now. You'd have to help him come up with a pirate name soon. You were a pretty shy person, but you were less so around John. You felt like you could be comfortable around him.

"Yes, again. What else am I supposed to do?" You scoff.

"I dunno... tell 'im?"

"If he hasn't figured it out by now, I'm not sure I want to," you both laugh.

"Fair enough," he smirks, 'but are ye at least gonna drop some hints or somethin'?" You slowly turn your head towards him.

"What do you think I've been doing the last 3 months?" You joke. He snorts and pats your shoulder.

"Best o' luck t' ye, kid," he chuckles. You give him a small wave goodbye and go back to looking at Magnum. He stands up from his spot on the stair leading to the wheel and starts walking over to you. You go into a mini panic as your heart speeds up and you go back to mopping the floor.

"First Mate Y/N!" He booms. You flinch at the volume.

"H-Hi captain," you stutter, avoiding his gaze, "W-What can I do for you?" He sets a strong hand on your shoulder and you buckle under the strength, your face heating up.

"I was wonderin' if ye would like t' be in charge o' th' next lootin'," he explains, "Ye've been here a while 'n I reckon ye could do it." Your eyes widen and you look up at him. That was apparently a bad idea because you were unable to form actual words after that.

"We, uh… I do.. I mean I'd… um…" you sputter out. He looks at you worriedly.

"Ye alright? Ye look unwell…" he reaches out and feels your forehead. You almost instantly pull away from him. He frowns.

"Ye're burnin' up, mate! Are ye sick?" He gently sets a hand on your head. You duck away, dropping your mop.

"I'm fine!" Your voice cracks, "I'm perfectly okay I just uh… I need to rest a bit is all! Yeah…" you speedwalk to the cabin you share with John and shut the door.

Magnum stands in the middle of the deck, feeling very confused.

"That was strange," he said to himself, "I wonder wha' th' problem be…"

--

About half an hour passed and you were sitting in your bed, your face in your hands. You went over the interaction several times in your head, feeling the same amount of embarrassment and shame each and every time. John walks into your shared room, looking smug.

"I reckon that went well, don't ye?" He teases.

"Shut up…" you groan.

"If he didn' know ye liked 'im afore, he oughta know now."

"And if he doesn't, I'm throwing myself overboard." John laughs and sits on your bed. You peek at him through your fingers.

"Kid, I mean no offense towards th' cap'n, but he's a moron. At least when it comes t' feelin's," you snort in agreement. "Ye needs t' tell 'im directly if ye wants 'im t' know." You remove your hands from your face and sigh.

"Ok… I'll tell him…" you pause. "Later…" John smiles at you.

"There we go," he consoles. He thinks for a moment, wondering what could take your mind off things, before speaking again. "So, the other day, what were you saying about a heist?"

--

That night, you walk out of your cabin, your knees shaking. John had given you another pep talk, along with a couple other crewmates. You felt a little better, but it didn't really help with your anxiety. Your heart is beating so fast you were afraid it would stop. Your palms are oh so very sweaty, and your legs have gone numb at this point. You barely feel them carrying you over to the captain, who was at the wheel. You stand next to him for five minutes, waiting for him to notice you're there. Eventually, he does.

"Ah! First Mate!" He bellowd. You flinch. "Wha' can I do fer ye?" You take a deep breath in.

"I have something to tell you, captain," you say shakily. Neither of you say anything for a while, and you wonder if he heard you.

"Well? Go on then!" He instructs.

"R-Right… ok… um…" you stammer. You keep playing with a button on your shirt, trying to think of what to say. You can feel his eyes on you and it made you even more nervous. Why did you let them talk you into this? You weren't ready! You couldn't do this. You… you…

You look to the side and see John watching you from behind the mast. He gives you a thumbs up. You respond with a smile and he leaves, decided to let you do this on your own. You take a deep breath and…

"I like you, captain," you blurt out. Magnum doesn't respond and you get scared.

"Be that all?" He laughed, "well, I like ye too!" You blink and look up at him. His face didn't seem to change very much. You're about to smile, but pause.

"Captain… I don't think you understand me…"

"O' course I do! I be yer cap'n, ye're part o' me crew, o' course we like each other!" You stare at him.

"That's not what I meant,"

"Oh? 'n wha' did ye mean?"

"I meant…" you pause, wondering if you should just give up. No. You made it this far. Finish it. you command yourself.

"I meant I love you." You say. He looks at you, eyebrows furrowed. "Like… I'm in love with you." You continue, hoping he gets it. He's quiet for a moment before laughing.

"That's real funny, Y/N!" He chortles. You stare at him before letting out a laugh.

"Yeah. Ok. Sure. Yeah, of course. That's fine. I don't even care! That's fucking fantastic!" You grumble. He stops laughing and looks at you.

"That's some language… are ye ok?" He asks. You start walking back to your cabin.

"Yeah, I'm ok! Of course I'm ok! Why wouldn't I be ok?!" You yell and slam your door. Magnum stands there, wondering what just happened.

John opens the door a couple minutes later and walks in.

"Ahoy bud… Ye alright?" He asks gently.

"I don't want to talk about it," you growl.

"Aw, bud…"

"It's not even the fact that he doesn't like me! It's the fact that he laughed! Why would he do that?" You lamented. John set a hand on your shoulder. He's about to say something to try and make you feel better, but he stops.

"Wait… he laughed?" John asks.

"Yeah… why?"

"Would you mind telling him again tomorrow?"

"What? Why the hell would I do that?"

"I want to test something. Please?" He begs. You look at him and sigh.

"Fine… this better be good…"

--

You and the rest of the crew sit and tell stories. Most of the stories are coming from Magnum, but you're not really listening. He notices this and tries to tell more interesting stories, or stories that he thinks you'll find interesting. You still refuse to even look at him, so he lets other people talk.

"Tell him. Right now," John whispers. You sigh and turn to look at Magnum. He leans forward a bit, wanting to hear what you have to say.

"I love you, captain," you say confidently. The whole crew looks at you, and then at Magnum.

"You made that joke last night, Y/N," he laughs.

"It wasn't a joke," you say. His smile falls. The crew decides that it would be a good time to leave, and that's exactly what they do.

"Wha'?"

"It wasn't a joke."

"Wha' do ye mean?"

"I mean I do love you, captain. I'm in love with you. I would like to be in a relationship with you…" your face heats up and you start sweating. God, why were you saying this? Maybe this was the only way he'd understand…

You look up at him and see a confused look on his face. Oh, fuck it… you think.

"I want a relationship with you. I want to hug you and kiss you and hold you close. I want to make you smile and I want to be your shoulder to cry on if you need me to. I want to whisper sweet nothings to you as we fall asleep. I want you to let me love you." You explain, heart racing. Both of you are silent for a minute. You squeeze your eyes shut, waiting for rejection.

"Oh…" he says, uncharacteristically soft. "I… love ye too…" you look at him. He's looking at you, a slight blush on his face.

"You… you do?" He nods a bit. "Then why in the name of Davy Jones did you think it was a joke?!" You shout.

"I didn' know ye'd like me back! I thought ye liked John!"

"What do you mean you thought I liked John?"

"I mean I thought ye liked John!"

"WHY WOULD YOU THINK I LIKED JOHN?!"

"I DUNNO, YE SEEM COMFORTABLE AROUND 'IM, I THOUGHT THAT MEANT YE LIKED 'IM!"

"Oh my God…" you rub the bridge of your nose. "Why did you think I'm always so nervous around you?"

"I thought... y'know... ye found me intimidatin'..."

"Of course I find you intimidating that doesn't mean I don't like you."

"Oh…" He rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Uh... Sorry I was so ignorant t' yer... Affection…" you chuckle at the apology.

"Sorry I didn't tell you sooner," you both sat there, just looking at each other.

"So uh… should we… should we kiss?" He asks nervously.

"Only if you want to. We don't ha-" you're cut off by his lips settling onto yours. You put your hands on his shoulders to keep you upright. He puts his hands on your neck, tilting your head to where he's comfortable.

"Awww!" Multiple voices say from behind you.

"Get a room!" John calls out. You pull away and bury your head in Magnum's shoulder, your face burning.

"Oi! If ye all aren't swabbin' th' deck in th' next five seconds, ye're walkin' th' plank!" He commands. The crew all scramble to get to work. You sigh and pull back to look at him.

"I'm… gonna go help them…" you murmur with a blush. He sighs.

"Ah, okay... We'll... Continue later," he states. You smile and walk away, grabbing your mop. As you mop, you glance at Magnum, seeing him watch you with a lovesick grin on his face. John, also holding a mop, slides up next to you.

"So, when's th' weddin'?"

"Shut up, you fuck!"

the ending is so obviously rushed I'm sorry lol