#aw hell naw these bitches crusty

[abhorrenttheorizer]

Jesus help me.

I'm not into kiddie shit. I don't like kids media. I never cared for the cartoons I used to watch when I was younger. I'm not "kidcore" or "plushcore" or "liminal-space-of-a-playground-core" or whatever-core.

I am a proud, dubiously respectable 20-going-on-21 year old adult.

But... A few weeks ago I stepped onto Twitter one day and saw a resurgence of the greatest thing that ever happened to 4-year-old me.

And now I've been silently obsessing over this stupid piss-colored rat and his stupid technicolor ensemble ever since. And I decided to half-sorta-kinda make some designs for a possible AU/parody "reboot", because my body functions on embarrassment and embarrassment alone.

We're going full cringe, gamers. This is my domain.

Join me, friends, on my pilgrimage to 0 followers because I keep posting stupid shit instead of things of substance.

I am going on a downward spiral to Hell and I'm dragging all of you down with me. (this is a very long post with extra autistic rambling, courtesy of yours truly)

You guys remember the show "Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!"?

Well. I do. And if you (reader) do too, we're already kissing (no allo).

For those of you who aren't in the loop with Twitter's community bullshit, basically for Year of the Rabbit, some furry artists managed to dig up... Widget, as their primary source material, because she's a rabbit. And I'm half parts giddy and half parts pissed for multiple reasons.

For starters (somewhat unrelated), the HBO Max rendition of Scooby Doo, "Velma" came out sometime in 2023 (I can't exactly remember the date). It was essentially a SUPARR GRITTY EDGY ADULT REBOOT

In short, it horribly butchered the source material and in its attempt to be a SUPARR GRITTY EDGY ADULT REBOOT, basically became an insulting mockery of the show it was based off of or "reviving".

And I thought to myself... What if I did that? What if I ruined my own childhood by taking this crown jewel of 2006 and also turning it into a SUPARR GRITTY EDGY ADULT REBOOT?

In the parodical sense, of course.

Basically a reimagining of Wubbzy and friends in a late 2010s setting, possibly 2016, when the characters are a little older and having to slog through the parts of life that aren't particularly suitable for a preschooler's cartoon.

I wanted to keep the art style somewhat true to the source material, but my cartooning skills are extremely rusty and I don't know how to give things the "Generic Adult Cartoon" look, so the art style ended up looking like the horrible out-of-wedlock spawn of Winnie the Pooh and Adventure Time.

Hopefully I didn't unintentionally ruin their designs because I had to give most of them stupid emo 2012 furry hair swoops. Their "redesigns" just looked incomplete without them.

Going through the main-ish characters (incomplete) and how I've bastardized them to fit the SUPARR GRITTY EDGY ADULT REBOOT theme (very much not to sizing scale):

I've changed around some of the species choices for the characters to make them a little more "interesting" in my opinion. This will play into some of their behaviors, because I fucking love talking animal characters acting like the animals they were based off of.

Very one dimensional descriptions because I'm still finding my footing with this, and I just need to get this off my chest.

Wubbzy is a hybrid of a Mongolian gerbil and a sand cat. He's 14 now.

Basically the standard angsty teen struggling to maintain his chipper attitude in an environment that's more unnecessarily meanspirited and meaningless because he's stuck in a gritty "deep" adult cartoon and "life just suuucks, maaan".

Daizy is a Maltese breed dog (im not hybridizing her because her source design is crowded enough).

A year older than Wubbzy, she is one of those kids who "lives under a rock" per-se. Somehow is able to keep the same cheerful demeanor since she was a kid, but is frequently bullied and mocked for her naivety and her lack of knowledge on memes and other teenage trends.

And now for these three bozos. Once upon a time, they were silly kids that loved playing outdoor games and so on. Now they're juul hitting, offensive meme posting, band playing, devil's lettuce smoking (alleged) delinquents. They're all the same age as Daizy (so 15).

Huggy is a least weasel, and she's just at the beginning of her streetcore phase.

The mastermind behind the meme pages run by the three, and she's the reason why all of them are addicted to monster drinks, anime, "edgy" memes, and every flavor of e-cigarrette there is.

Buggy is a European hare, and is the patron saint of "band kids".

Super obsessed with anime and vidya, is one of the 1st trumpets in his band class and uses that opportunity to play every dead meme imaginable, and has dubiously been featured several times on r/iamverysmart.

Earl is the hybrid of a Syrian hamster and a Bengal tiger.

One of those dudes that's super into sports, cars, men's fashion, and fitness. Was the first to introduce the three to cringe anime gymbro memes. A Certified Good Boi, but is cursed to have the fashion sense of a fuckboy for the rest of his life.

And of course, we can't forget about these old, saggy losers (affectionate)

Firstly, to get this off my chest, it's one of my biggest pet peeves when people choose to... "yassify" characters, but they refuse to do it in a way that actually fits the character. I've seen my fair share of fat Widget and curvy Widget, but why do none of these cowards ever draw her buff? Did they even watch the show? Widget's a fucking carpenter and mechanical engineer for fucks sake. She's shitting out heavy, complicated robotics and automation like every half hour. SHE BUILDS ALL HER FUCKING INVENTIONS BY HAND. She could LITERALLY crush everyone around her like rotten grapes if she wanted to, and yet I NEVER see anyone make her the barrel-chested, steel-pecced, iron-fisted Valkyrie she was meant to be. Anyway...

These two (hypothetically) will have the most adult oriented themes and issues, amplified even moreso because as of "2016" they'd be in their mid 30s. Neither change very much because it's extremely likely that in the source show, they're already post-college adults.

(these two were/are my favorite characters too, so of course i have to put them through the most suffering lol)

Widget, Millennial Scum #2 (1982 baby), is a hybrid of a black-tailed jackrabbit and a greater bilby.

Unluckily had her workshop closed down for unlicensed manufacturing as well as a specific "accident" she'd prefer not to mention. Now struggles to regain where her career was dropped off by working as a designer and manufacturer for some unspecified corporation. Throughout her struggles, she somehow manages to stay hopeful and determined that she'll return to her love of freelance engineering.

Walden, Millennial Scum #1 (1981 baby), is a hybrid of a Malayan sun bear and a thylacoleo (carnifex). Goes through the most suffering because he was/is my absolute favorite ;-)

After a false accusation from some disgruntled out-of-town interns/coworkers, his credentials were compromised and he was put on a watchlist after rumors began to circulate that he owned and operated a meth lab. Was basically barred from having an in-person occupation, or really any occupation that isn't anonymous. On top of that, he believes he's "hit the wall" prematurely, thinking he's too old, too controversial, and too out-of-touch to live an exciting and fulfilling life anymore.

These aren't finalized and I don't even know why I'm speaking like this when I'm regarding basically a crackfic, but uhhhh that was all from me

See you guys later when my brain starts hemorrhaging again teehee bye