#ave mujica ep 3

[mortishime]

crazy how many things happened in ave mujica ep 3 but what really stood out to me a lot was the fact that mutsumi begins panicking the moment that everyone else starts arguing and gets suddenly brought back to the moment CRYCHIC was disbanding on top of the fact that mutsumi starts blaming herself and saying it’s all her fault that CRYCHIC disbanded and ruined it feels entirely too reminiscent of how tomori starts blaming herself for the disbandment of CRYCHIC ( although in terms of mutsumi she expresses not being able to feel the joy of being in a band). I honestly will have more thoughts later but I adore watching the episodes scene by scene <33

[strawberymilkk]

[whatrobotsneed]

[ptanalo]

you & me

[seven-snails]

i've been thinking so much about uika the last couple of days.. she's had so many scenes where she's trying to connect with sakiko and can't because sakiko is going through so much and can't let herself open up or else she'll break, and it's making me wonder if/how this is going to play into the big twist in her character that's been hinted at so much - especially considering her feelings for sakiko have such a romantic bent to them. it's interesting to me how she and mutsumi are... not parallels, exactly, but like. rhyming in their reasons for being in ave mujica. like, they're both childhood friends of sakiko who are in the band because of their feelings for her, but where mutsumi joined the band because she feels responsible for crychic breaking up and feels like she has to help sakiko hold herself together, uika is there explicitly because she wants to be with sakiko, and is pretty clearly hoping that sakiko will return this interest uika's been expressing in her. in this vein, it's also interesting to me that in mutsumi's flashback soyo and uika are deliberately mirrored; they both derive a lot of meaning from being in a band with sakiko - and from being in a band because sakiko specifically asked them - and they both end up acting as the mediators when disagreements arise, in part because they want so badly to hold onto their places here. this parallel is part of what makes me wonder if sakiko's emotional unavailability is going to lead into whatever causes uika to break or change face - soyo wanted to push anon and raana out and turn mygo back into crychic because she had connected so much of herself and so much of the meaning she found in life to being part of crychic, and so it makes me wonder if in a similar way uika is connecting her own sense of worth and meaning to sakiko, to whatever it is that she feels for sakiko, and possibly even these feelings being returned, and if sakiko (perhaps unintentionally) denying her that by being so caught up in her own struggles is going to lead uika to break down in a similar way. god im so fascinated by uika i can't wait to see where they take her

[jibunbosh]

a common experience many autistic people experience is struggling to put your own feelings for the people around you into the strictly defined categories between "platonic" and "romantic," to try to frame your own unique affections in the context of the words used by the people around you. especially when you're younger - when you're already used to the world around you seeming to speak in terms foreign to you, when the concept of love rears its ugly head in adolescence, one that could be found confusing to anyone... it can be nigh impossible to wrap your head around it, to try to quantize the feelings you know are burning brightly in your heart.

in episode 3, it's clear that sakiko is someone that tomori highly admired and appreciated - not just for her kindness, but how things always seemed to click into place with her around. sakiko helped tomori realize that her own words had value - and what are tomori's words if not her feelings put into writing? and if her feelings have worth, then what of the way she thinks of sakiko?

i feel many have (rightfully) subscribed to the autistic reading of tomori's character, but I still remember when the lead writer of the series, unico-san, wrote something to the effect of "if you're a fan of girls' love media, please watch mygo."

with that, I think there's much to be gained from reexamining the way tomori looks at sakiko from a queer lens, as well (to say nothing of the large overlap between neurodivergence and not conforming to societal expectations of gender and sexuality). crychic was a brand-new experience for tomori, with sakiko serving as the catalyst for tomori's joining of the band. unico-san even writes in her relationship chart, even well after crychic had disbanded and mygo had formed, that to tomori, sakiko is still someone tomori cherishes dearly and considers of great importance. I don't think it's too much a stretch to postulate that tomori's feelings for sakiko overlap what some may describe as "love." the difference between platonic love and romantic may be negligible - the matter of the fact is that tomori's life was greatly influenced by meeting sakiko, and for that, tomori feels very strongly about her... in some way. so strong, in fact, that she wished she could remain with her for the rest of her life. but, alas... it wasn't to be.

broken, afraid, tomori asks anon when she expresses interest in a band if she'd be willing to do it for the rest of their lives. it feels blunt and forward, but it's easy to see why tomori at that point would ask that: she's been in a band once with someone she cherished, and that person left. is she willing to feel that way about someone again?

"I don't think I can ever forget about CRYCHIC."

mygo ep 13 hands the baton over to ave mujica with tomori attempting to bridge the gap between sakiko and the newly-established mygo by offering soyo's words to her in writing, but sakiko doesn't entertain it - merely wishing her well and leaving, as if to wipe her hands clean of the whole affair that was CRYCHIC. yet, tomori, as much as she goes barreling forward with mygo, doesn't feel the same - the way she feels about sakiko is as strong as ever.

whether reciprocal or not, tomori's affection for sakiko is something that irrevocably shapes the rest of the narrative and the way tomori feels about everyone else in her life. it's something that can't go disregarded when it comes to examining the countless other dynamics in the show - from the protective and bashful taki speaking of tomori, to anon's newfound appreciation of tomori, to even raana's playful amusement with the girl. and, before long, we'll get to see more of how that shapes sakiko, too.

it's hard growing up as an autistic teenager, and it's hard growing up as a queer girl. what happens when you're both?

[doublesama]

This week, I have another Madoka Magica spin-off manga review planned. I hope it will be good.

Sun - Hyakkano S2 Ep. 3 Mon - Boruto Ch. 93 Tue - Mahou Shoujo Suzune Magica Wed - Sankarea: Undying Love Thu - Bandori! Ave Mujica Ep. 5 Fri - Girumasu Ep. 4 Sat - Solo Leveling S2 Ep. 5

[a-bucket-full-of-feels]

Another pattern I am noticing with the ave mujica members up to ep 3 so far is that they have compelling reasons to leave the band but due to their own convictions they're still staying, which ultimately could lead to their downfall

For Nyamu, she clearly clashes with Sakiko the most in terms of the vision of the band - Nyamu is hyper focused on chasing what brings them clout whereas Sakiko is focused more on their music and artistry. However, Nyamu stays on because of Ave Mujica's popularity, and attention is what she seeks the most

For Mutsumi, the pressure of being in the band and reliving the trauma of crychic's disbandment is killing her internally. However, she wants to help her childhood friend Sakiko and knows that Sakiko herself will break apart if Ave Mujica falls apart, so she stays on as well

For Uika and Umiri, again their true psyche isn't too clear at this point, but given that they already have activities in their own established bands, leaving Ave Mujica won't deal a huge blow to their career, but they're still sticking with Sakiko for their own personal reasons

[doublesama]

Hyakkano Season 2 finally begins airing this week. The season is saved!

Sun - Solo Leveling S2 Ep. 2 Mon - Hyakkano S2 Ep. 1 Tue - Boruto Ch. 91 Wed - Kazumi Magica: The Innocent Malice Thu - Bandori! Ave Mujica Ep. 3 Fri - Magilumiere Magical Girls Inc. Sat - Girumasu Ep. 2

[doublesama]

Whisper Me a Love Song finally finished. As promised, I'll review the last episodes.

Sun - Hyakkano S2 Ep. 2 Mon - Boruto Ch. 92 Tue - Whisper Me a Love Song Ep. 11 & 12 Wed - Sakura Trick (Manga) Thu - Bandori! Ave Mujica Ep. 4 Fri - Girumasu Ep. 3 Sat - Solo Leveling S2 Ep. 4

[seven-snails]

ave mujica thoughts under the cut. my god.

i want to preface this by saying i did see a tweet before watching the episode mentioning mutsumi having DID, so that was on my mind the entire time i watched the episode lol. i don't have DID myself, so anything i have to say about mutsumi in that regard is better discussed by the thread itself, which was written by someone who does, and is incredibly thorough and absolutely worth the read. i have known people with DID, so some of the things they bring up jumped out at me immediately and i think i would have clocked even if i hadn't seen the tweet beforehand, namely mortis being mutsumi's protector.

i do actually really enjoy the way mortis is presented here, as someone slightly menacing but still very clearly an ally to mutsumi - somewhat similarly to how alluka and nanika are initially portrayed in hunter x hunter. i really liked the imagery of mortis morphing into something monstrous and swallowing mutsumi near the end of the episode; bandori has never played with that kind of imagery before, so it was a bit of a shock to see them jump into it so enthusiastically, but i think it came off really well. honestly, all the work they did to communicate mutsumi's mental state in both this and the last episode was really lovingly done and works out phenomenally.

something i'm interested in seeing is what kind of a protector mortis ends up being. i know that protectors can be aggressive to the people around the system's host as a defense mechanism, and things we've seen in moments when mortis is ostensibly fronting during trailers and the intro believably support that as the next natural step of her character, so it'll be interesting to see how she develops from here on out and how the rest of the band react to this "new side", so to speak, of mutsumi.

on that note, i'm also curious about the implications of mutsumi being swallowed near the end of ep 3. the thread mentions that this is a good way to visualize how visceral switching out between alters can feel, but i also know that alters (and this might be something that happens more with larger systems, so i could be off-base saying this about mutsumi) sometimes go dormant for periods of time, and with the line at the end asking whether this is "sleep or death" makes me wonder if this is what has just happened to mutsumi.

i do also want to note that i figured naming her mortis/"i do not fear death" had something to do with a loss of her sense of self, though up til now i assumed it would have something to do with getting lost in her parents' shadows, but i think this is a far more interesting way to play on those themes, and i'm hoping they'll continuing handling mutsumi and mortis with the care they have been til now.

separate from DID thoughts, i do really like the way mutsumi finds herself stranded in the middle of all the band's issues - she's dissociating as a defense mechanism and is too stressed to even really want to present in the band's discussions; her mistake during the first show of their tour was a result of the fear and exhaustion she's been working through, but rather than finding relief it only thrust her further into the spotlight, and now, like with the photoshoot where the photographer praises her blank expression, she's being asked to put it on display again for the sake of her fans, and can't make up her mind what she wants to do from the way she's paralyzed between her loyalty to sakiko and her desire to just give in and numb herself to the pain; sakiko's line, "you used to talk more, you used to laugh more. now you're leaving it all up to me," fucking broke me, like mutsumi has always been quiet and anxious but there *was* a time when even she could connect with her friends like anyone else, and now that she's struggling so hard she just can't anymore, and the way the subs phrase it, as if the joy of interpersonal connection becomes a burden to carry when you're the only one left to facilitate it, is a really interesting way to put more pressure on the guilt mutsumi already feels over crychic breaking up.

i also really like that we don't see what happens with ave mujica's first show, after mutsumi checks out. it's logical to assume that they would come back on stage and resume playing after a few minutes, but i really like that it's left ambiguous and we're just left to guess at how sakiko ultimately handles it and when exactly mutsumi recovers.

as for other thoughts, the show is starting to make textual what i discussed last week about nyamu being in the band to round out her career while the others are ostensibly there for more emotional reasons, and now that those opposing views are starting to butt heads more frequently and more materially i'm really excited to see how they start affecting each other, and specifically the ways nyamu is going to change because of it.

also watase yuzuki's voice work in this episode was just unbelievable, god she's so talented.

anyway. youkoso watashi position zero e

okay. i have to go draw little beepo now. phenomenal episode.

[a-bucket-full-of-feels]

more speculation on the rest of the avemuji characters' parallel to their on-stage persona at this current point in time (ep 3)

nyamu/amoris could be related to nyamu's love and attention/popularity she seeks as an entertainer, as seen by how she single-mindedly pursues her goals in acting school/as a social media star/in ave mujica

umiri/timoris could be related to umiri's fear of not being recognised or being irrelevant which is why she works so hard being a bassist for various bands

uika/doloris - i really cannot put a finger on uika's character at this point, she's the most mysterious one so far but they seem to be insinuating something about how she truly feels about sakiko. i have a feeling her character focus arc would be a big turning point in the avemuji anime, somewhat like soyo's "why did you play haruhikage?!" moment in it's mygo

it seems like ep 4 would be a continuation of mutsumi's story, this time with soyo in the picture as well. at the rate this is going, my one fear is that they will rush the pacing for the rest of the characters during the later half of the anime, completely neglecting proper character development for one or two characters (i.e. what they did with raana in it's mygo. however you could argue that the vague backstory with raana added an additional air of mystique and unpredictability to her character which is such a huge part of her charm - you cannot truly understand what's going on in her cat brain)