#auugghhgg

[soullessjack]

aw gee sorry I’d love to help but like I’m kinda busy thinking about this

[dyke-fish]

EVERYTHING FUCKING COSTS MONEY!!!! AUUGGHHGG!!!!

[woonhakist]

bye (literally) my GOD this is the most bittersweet thing i’ve read idk how to describe this without giving spoilers LMFAOOOOO but AUUGGHHGG THE FEELS ARE THERE

i'm trying to get over this ‧꒳ᵕ˙˚˙

♡ ⋆｡˚ lee riwoo + female!reader. . . .

months passed by since riwoo walked out with no explanation. as he laid in your memories, you finally were starting to be happy again. but he made things a lot more difficult when he showed up unannounced.

✩ tags : angst. minor cussing. major miscommunication. ♡ word count : 1.3k ✩ notes : this makes me wanna die goodnight, i cried four times writing this. inspired by memories, conan gray.

there was a part of you that died that day. the day riwoo walked out with no explanation. maybe you’d feel a little more sane if he told you everything, but he didn’t. the closure you longed for disappeared as he became unreachable. but you loved him. you loved him more than words could explain. the feeling of homesickness bubbled up in your stomach at the unlivelyness of your house.

countertops that were once littered with empty diet coke cans and receipts from your dates remained clear. waking up next to the ghost of a figure that was once there. all of it was gone, your life, your meaning.

it didn’t exactly register in your brain how distant he has been until he was gone from you. how his phone would be more out of reach, how his hands didn’t rub circles into yours late into the night. there were many things you picked out once you became aware. and you still didn’t know why. communication was never something the two of you were good at. simple apologies became much more meaningful. riwoo was introverted at heart, his calm demeanor almost could be compared to being emotionless. you never saw that in him, he let his guard down around you. so when days, weeks, even months went by without a word, you thought that maybe you were getting a taste of what it was like to be a stranger to him. you wanted to keep him in your memories, and look back at the photos of the two of you together. happy that the moment existed, and not that it ended. somewhere in between the lines, when you were able to smile instead of cry. he had to come back into your life again. rain pattered against the glass windows of your home. it was late, and you were as tired as the clouds. wanting to let go of everything and just sleep. comfort in yourself was something you became used to over time. when your doorbell rang, you felt confused. the darkness of the night meant no visitors for awhile, so you hesitantly let the creaky floorboards signal you coming to let whatever was outside in. you wish you didn’t open that door. completely soaked, riwoo stood at your porch. his clothes stuck to his skin and his hair made him look like a wet dog. the depth of his eyes, something you found yourself zoning out in, stared at you with regret. “hi, y/n. can we talk?” he muttered, blinking back the rain water.

“um, yeah yeah. come in riwoo.” you open the door wider to signal him inside, immediately drenching wherever he stepped.

you rushed to get him his spare clothes that you boxed up some time ago, as well as a towel. it didn’t take long for him to situate himself, so once you were properly met face to face with him, your vision went hazy. the feeling of hurt and betrayal immediately became familiar. it was always there, you just tried your best to ignore it. “what are you doing here, riwoo?” you ask him plainly, in an attempt to hide behind your discomfort. “i shouldn’t have walked out on you that day, but i need to explain to you why it happened.” he confessed. “i don’t need closure anymore, it’s been months riwoo.” your face begins to burn and you’re unable to maintain eye contact.

“but i need closure. what i did was so fucking stupid and i don’t think i’d be able to bear it if you didn’t even know why.” silence overtook you. the whole situation still didn’t sit right with you, so words became unattainable. “a lot of me was overwhelmed by all of this. by us.” he started, “when we first started dating, i didn’t have any real responsibilities. but then so much stuff happened since then and i thought i needed a break.” “then why didn’t you say anything to me?” “you know i was never good at communication, y/n. you can’t blame me for taking some time away.” he furrowed his eyebrows at your response. “three months riwoo. three months you left me without saying anything and you expect me not to be upset? to not blame you for all this shit that has happened?” you cry out, barely acknowledging the tears that began falling down your cheeks. “i know i–” “please don’t make it harder than it already is, i’m trying to get over this.” you cut him off, biting your bottom lip to hold back any further sobs.

“i don’t want you to get over me, y/n. is that selfish?” he says in almost a whisper. “you already know what i’m going to say to that.”

“then don’t say anything, please. this time apart has only made me miss you more. it made me realize how much i need you in my life.” his hand grabs yours, the gentle touch you used to love felt invalidating on your skin. “why won’t you let me go? why do you have to show up when i was finally starting to be happy again?” you sniffle, letting his free hand wipe away your tears. “because we still have so much ahead of us if you let me back in, if not as a lover, as friend.” “there’s no reason in convincing me that we could ever exist again, riwoo. not even as a friend. we both know we’ll prevent eachother from falling in love with anyone but one another.”

“and why can’t we just let that happen?”

“because i want to move on. i think it’s better for the both of us.” you affirmed, removing his hands off of you. “i think you need to leave now, riwoo.” a breath escaped your mouth that you didn’t know you were holding in as you walked away from him. there wasn’t any movement behind you for a moment. you almost wanted to turn back and tell him not to move. but you couldn’t. riwoo stood up from your couch and walked to the door, in which now had a box of some of his leftover things. but before he picked it up, he turned around to face you for the last time. the sadness on both of your faces probably should’ve told you guys that maybe you should try again. “i’m sorry things ended up this way, my love.” he held his head low, before you wrapped yourself around his torso. “don’t call me that, this is hard enough.” your words come out muffled into his chest. “can we stay like this for a little, then? for the last time.” he asked quietly, as you hum in return. he returned your hug, a sob threatening to escape from his throat at the thought of having to eventually let you go. you tilted your head up too see him. he looked weary, eye bags hardly peeking underneath his waterline. yet they were visible enough to make you frown. this was all his fault, but you felt bad. and though part of your heart died that day, it still beat for him.

“will you let me kiss you, y/n?” he looks down at you, helpless.

you barely nod before warmth spreads across your lips. it was intimate, his own chasing after yours. something that used to be rewarded to you after a long day. something that used to comfort you when life wasn’t going good. something that gave you butterflies. something that you would never feel ever again.

it ended as soon as it began, and he finally pulled away from you to grab the abandoned box in the floor. when he started to leave everything became blurry. “i’ll always love you, y/n.” with that, he became a distant memory.

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[valen-dreth]

auugghhgg