#autumn and finny

[noirsnonsense]

It's august 8th and it's raining. Finny don't get out of the damn car.

[aisshu]

sometimes i just miss finny smith. and it kind of hurts because he was never really there in the first place.

[daisychains111]

I just finished if he had been with me

I'm just a puddle. that's all

[evispunk]

just finished if he had been with me. will probably kill myself now.

[lizzieyoungdefender]

it’s like i know aaron warner isn’t alive but it’s so hard to process that not only is finny not alive but he’s dead like . . ?? it feels like i lost a bsf

[calming-chaos]

[strawberrylacies]

if he had been with me - review

rating: 10/10

ive barely read this year and i started this book in like jan and oh my god i promise if you're currently in a reading slump this book will take you straight out of it, it was the most heart wrenching, fast moving, depressing plot ever. its a must read!!

[booksandventingaboutlife]

If he had been with me rant

If he had been with me is a novel about the relationship between two teenagers in high school. Simply put, that is what the book is about. Autumn and Finny have been friends since childhood, but their relationship has gone through changes and this book explores that. 

Spoiler warning for the rest of this post.

I went into If he had been with me with pretty high expectations. My friend who is pretty picky had told me I had to read it because it was her favorite book, and I had seen people hyping it on booktok everywhere.

When I first started reading it I kind of hated it. Autumn is “not like other girls” in the most annoying way. She and her friends think they are so much better than everyone else, especially cheerleaders. They are so much better than them because they wear tiaras for no reason and ripped high socks? What? And then of course there was Finny, the childhood best friend who literally lives next door and is on the soccer team. He was obviously the love interest and like halfway through the books when she realizes she's in love with him it comes as no surprise to anyone. The thing that kept me reading was the prologue which promised Finny would die in a car accident when he was 18. (The book starts at the beginning of freshman year)

As the books continued I grew more frustrated with Autumn. It was obvious that she loved Finny rather than her boyfriend, but she still thought it was okay to be dating him when she loved someone else.

The odd thing about it was though I couldn’t stand the characters I enjoyed reading it because of the writing. The story is told in a way that is very engaging and I love the voice, even though I found the plot pretty predictable and the characters frustrating. 

Eventually in the story I sort of changed my mind about Autumn. I still didn’t like her, but eventually she started to feel more like a real person. Like she was someone I could know rather than just a cardboard cutout of a person. (She is still pretty generic, but eventually she started to feel more three dimensional, if that makes any sense).

Major spoiler warnings

When Jamie cheated on Autumn with Sasha I was beside myself. I was really surprised that I cared so much about someone I didn’t even like, but I suppose what really bothered me was the injustice of it all. When Finny showed up to comfort her I was like oh yes of course this is how they will reconnect now we are on track to finish the book. AND THEN THEY SLEPT TOGETHER. While Finny was still technically dating Sylvie. He intended to break up with Sylvie, but Sylvie didn’t know that. Finny cheated on Sylvie with Autumn, after Autumn had just been cheated on. What really bothered me was the Rory Gilmoreness of it all. Autumn was still thinking he was “my Finny” and it hadn’t really occurred to her that she was subjecting Sylvie to the same thing that happened to her.

When Finny got into the car accident it was kind of like well finally the prologue is happening. It was predictable but I would have been fuming if he hadn’t died, so what can ya do. The last several chapters were the largest roller coaster I have ever been on, and while it was a little rushed, I very much enjoyed it. I was also pleased by the fact that she ended up maybe pregnant just like the character in her story, and I hope her experience ends similarly. (that sounds awful, and I suppose it is but the conceptual symmetry would just be so perfect I have to wish for it.) 

SPOILERS OVER

Overall I would say I liked this book because I really enjoyed reading it and going through each moment with the characters. This was a good book. It did not have likable characters or a particularly groundbreaking plot, but it had engaging writing and felt real. I enjoyed the parts that were not a romance far more than the parts that were, as most of the romance was embarrassing, cringy, and a bit tropey. It is an aggressively YA novel. I can’t decide if its aware of how YA it is. If it really is aware, the book is brilliant. If not, it's just another love story. I would recommend it to my close friends, but not to my acquaintances. I will be reading the sequel. 

Gold star for you if you managed to read all of this review/rant, sorry it was so long.

[nosaboturtle]

is this real😭😭

I just finished the book I can’t have my feelings played with now😭

Apologies to everyone to whom I swore I'd never write about Finny and Autumn again...

[sheisntyouspam]

“Finny? Oh Autumn…”

[your-mommy-ems]

you can't make me cry with three words...

"finny?"

"oh autumn."

[readingwiththestars]

₊˚⊹♡ IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER

["whatever our souls are made of hers and mine are the same"]

| ✮ 3.5 stars |

THOUGHTS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers for ihhbwm + some spoliers for ioihth]

ok so lemme tell you i had the BIGGEST reading slump ever just as i started to read this. so this review may be a little choppy at some points because i've just pointblank forgotten some parts and don't wanna go back and re-read finny's pov just yet.

i was so on the fence about reading this because on one hand i really wanted to read finny's pov and on the other, complete and utter heartbreak.... yeah....... so anyway i read it.

when i tell you that this book had me ugly crying in the middle of the night. like seriously finny's pov?? fucking broke me. are you kidding me? the way he speaks about autumn? ugh when am i gonna find a guy like finny fr? but seriously this book had me on a rollercoaster of emotions just from the heartbreak knowing whats already gonna happen to finny as he describes how happy he is and how he can't believe autumn loves him back, to the smile i had on my face reading about 'the moms' bickering over baby stuff for autumn.

i will say this now i did expect a little more (hence the rating). i wanted idk more closure at the end there. idk rlly know how to describe it better since its 10 o'clock at night and ive had zero sleep for the past four nights in a row. but yeah i wanted something more. (bitch u wanted finny to be alive)

CHARACTERS ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

finny -

*sobbing noises* i could go on a damn rant abt this boy. holy shit. he's just perfect. if i see one person ONE PERSON coming after him istg- he was such a caring sweet person like the pencil??? and always going to the sketchy gas station (i nearly called it a servo then lmao) to get the candy autumn likes?? and always making sure people were safe when he drives?? *cough* apparently not you though sylvie *cough* just ahhh laura when i get you. cause like why'd you have to make him get out of the car, hmmm? lets just compromise and you give me an alternate universe where finny misses the puddle or better yet where sylvie kept her damn seatbelt on.

jack -

tbh i wasn't all that excited to read about jack. (also to be fair i was still sobbing from finny's pov so that probably didn't help) like i seriously just thought it'd be some jock trying to process finny's death by hooking up with alexis (who by the way can go jump up her own ass and die) but we got the whole other side of him where he was genuinely affected by finny's death and really was his best friend. but the way he didn't like autumn way just- yeah. also i saw him and sylvie coming from a mile away like seriously it wasn't very subtle.

autumn -

*sobbing noises increase* autumn my baby girl. i just wanted to jump through the pages and give her a hug. seriously i feel robbed that we didn't get to see a happy autumn. angie and her's friend ship was so precious tho. and i love love LOVE that they bonded over being moms/soon-to-be-moms. im also just gonna say the way we didn't see an ounce of jamie or sasha this entire book made me so happy! i also lowkey wanted to see more of when she was an actual mom? like what would she name the baby? i wanted to see domestic autumn a little more. but i still love her so much and it was so lovely to see her heal <3

QUOTES ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . [spoilers]

"my love for her is the closest thing i have to religion. but it's okay that she doesn't feel the same. i'm fine. i can handle it" - finny

"my devotion to autumn is engraved on my very being. i am in awe of her. i will sit in the stands and cheer her on in life as her most ardent admirer. i know i'll always love her in the same way i know i'll always need oxygen" - finny

"it's all done. finn's story is over. his whole life. that was it. not even nineteen years, and he'll never, ever do anything else ever again. finn won't go off to college or celebrate his birthday. he won't get another hair cut or get the oiled changed in his car. he won't bite a hangnail on his thumb or buy another CD. finn smith has done everything he will ever do. he won't get to be with autumn." - jack

“this baby isn't what's left over from our love story. this baby is our story's continuation.” - autumn

"if only i'd told her that i loved her years ago, i wouldn't be here now." - finny

all in all laura you can pay for my therapy mkay?

[whousestypewriters]

✮ PHINEAS "FINNY" SMITH

key: ಇ fluff | ⟡ angst | ✰ suggestive

nothing here yet!

[lizzieyoungdefender]

finny and autumn are so lizzy mcalpine coded

[cenestpasaudrey]

Autumn and Finny 😢💔

[embie-mint]

i'm glad autumn and finny got together (even if it was only for a day) but can we start talking about sylvie's perspective