#autismvsadhd

[ramuneda5149]

Keunse and Ahyeon spring ad + autismVSadhd

^^

[jellorat]

Moving with Wife with ADHD

My wife and I have been married for 30 years this last Halloween. We have also moved an extraordinary amount. Since we've been married we have moved 13 times. This averages to just about every 2 years, but we did own a trailer for 7, so that compresses the timeline by a lot.

For all previous moves, my wife was pre-transition and very depressed. Like I wasn't sure I'd come home and find her okay, levels of depression.

So all previous moves I had taken up the slack, and because I am most certainly on the spectrum, I would executive function that shit with lists, and order of events, and generally had it down to a science. It wasn't unfair in my mind, she needed the help, and hyper-organization is one of my things.

Now, however, since she has started her transition, she is not remotely depressed anymore, and is very interested in doing ALL THE THINGS!

I am simultaneously extremely gratified and grateful that she is okay for the first time in her life, and horrified at the full glory of her ADHD moving process.

As an aside, she calls her ADHD Patricia, and we often blame Patricia for things. Like did Patricia leave the butter out, with the frozen burger patties? Did Patricia forget to turn the stove off? It's an in-joke, and she likes it because she can point to a specific reason she has a hard time with some things.

Now, moving for the first time WITH my wife, as opposed to for my wife and I. Did I mention I am on the spectrum? I have a specific order of events to make this as smooth and easy as possible.

My wife is more like tossing an entire section of things in a box, then TA DA!

If I go to start putting things in a box, my wife needs to be in that same 2 foot space working on something else like NOW!

I am finding I am having to figure out how to work with her, becuase it is like having a 6'2" tall fairy, high on coke, rushing around the house, followed by a swarm of bees. It's a happy swarm of bees, but I still have to work around it.

It's hilarious but occasionally frustrating. I am just glad she is here and happy and moving, but I don't necessarily know how to navigate this with Patricia.