#author: k.darblyne

[faveficarchive]

Up in the Air: Part 7

Book Two of That Healing Touch Series

By K.Darblyne

Pairing: Xena/Gabrielle

Rating: Mature

Synopsis: Garrett is five months in to her fellowship, and she and Danni are trying to change the game even more, all the while strengthening their bond.

Danni watched the miles fly by as she made her way home to Pittsburgh and the woman she cared deeply about. Her mind, all the while, mulling over the time that she had spent with David. She had thought it so sweet of him to insist on eating dinner with her, allowing them more time to talk and her more time to tell David exactly how she felt about the woman she wanted to share the rest of her life with.

Quite frankly, David had amazed her with his understanding. Now, if she could only get another surgeon to understand, her worries would be over and she could move on with her life…no, their life together.

Finally reaching home, she parked her car and went into the house, relieved that her day was over. Turning on the lights just inside the door, Danni could see the well-used comfort zone that she had made on the couch and smiled. To be honest, she half expected the tall, dark-haired woman to be sprawled out on it, with a magazine still in her hand. Walking over to it, she noticed the orange skins all neatly piled on a Kleenex and the empty glass of water next to it. ‘Well, at least she had more than just the breakfast that I made.’ She picked them up and went to the kitchen.

The room was immaculate except for the lone bottle of juice on the counter with only a mouthful or two left in it. ‘Well, she can find the refrigerator, that’s a good sign.’ The nurse smiled and emptied the bottle in the sink and rinsed it out before throwing it in the trash along with the orange peels. She placed the glass in the sink and turned, noticing the time on the stove’s clock. It read 0038.

She closed her eyes and listened to the quiet of the house, willing her soul and spirit both to follow suit. Danni wound her way through the downstairs rooms and headed for the stairs and the bed waiting for her at the top of them.

Coming down the hallway, she could see the soft rays of light streaming around the slightly ajar door. ‘I wonder if I left…no, I didn’t use any light this morning.’ Her mind thought about the hurried pace that she had set for herself to get out of the house that morning. Suddenly her eyes widened and she realized that she had never taken the journal downstairs to Garrett before she left. "Jeez, Danni!" She whispered. ‘I bet she went in and got it for herself and forgot to turn off the light.’ Resolved as to what happened, Danni stopped at the door and pushed it open.

Her eyes squinted to adjust to the light. Then slowly, the form of a human could be made out on top of her bed. There, with the comforter pulled across her body, was Garrett. Danni couldn’t help but smile at the sight. She had dreamed of the tall woman coming to her bed and here she was with her long graceful arm wrapped tightly around Danni’s pillow, fast asleep with the small bound journal still in her hand.

She ventured in for a closer look at the sleeping woman and found herself wondering what could bring such a relaxed, peaceful look to her face. Then without warning her mind offered up a prayer. ‘Please let that look be on her face because of me.’ Danni looked at the large portion of unused bed and eyed it longingly. Oh, how she’d love to crawl right in and take that pillow’s place. ‘Later Danni girl, there’ll be time for that later.’ She reached out and moved a wayward wisp of hair from the surgeon’s face. "Good night, my love," she whispered and turned out the light.

Retreating in silence to the hallway, she closed the door and stood now at a crossroads. Mentally, she pondered her options. ‘The couch or Garrett’s bed for the night?’ With those as her only options, it wasn’t hard to choose. The petite woman moved several feet down the hallway and opened the door. Even in the dark, she could feel the presence of Garrett in the room. Maybe it was the smell of the leather jacket that she loved or the feel of the raw power that the woman commanded in her daily life. Whatever it was, Danni knew that it was a source of life and love that she needed so desperately.

The dim lighting of the streetlight outside the house gave her enough sight to find her way to the bed, Garrett’s bed. The bed that she wanted to wake up in every morning with the tall woman wrapped around her body, their limbs intertwined and the feel of bare skin upon hers. Yes, this would definitely be more comfortable than the couch in the living room.

Danni took off her shoes and socks then slipped out of her jeans. Next to go was the bra as she unhooked it and slid it over her arms leaving her loose fitting T-shirt in place. It was a make shift sleeping outfit in her bikini underwear and shirt but it would have to do. The nurse lifted the edge of the covers and slipped down into the surgeon’s bed. The coolness of the sheets gave her body new sensations as she sank deeper into them. Her mind wondered if that is what the surgeon felt when she crawled in between them as they glided over her unencumbered body.

The nurse’s heart raced for a moment then slowly came back into its own pace as she nestled into the pillow that smelled so sweetly of her friend’s essence. Gathering up all that her senses could register, Danni logged them away in the memory of her mind, eager for the day that Garrett too, would be there with her. Invigorated but yet exhausted by the day’s events, the petite nurse was soon fast asleep.

***************

Morning came all too early for Garrett, as her body woke her with the urgency that only a full bladder can have. Trying to open her eyes, she inhaled deeply and the resources of her brain efficiently detected the closeness of one small blonde. "Danni?" The blue orb popped open searching for her friend only to find the pillow pressed tightly into her body, her arms hugging it to her. She sniffed again and sure enough it was Danni. The surgeon’s head now popped up trying to get her bearing on where she was. The last thing floating through her mind was coming upstairs for the journal. With the haze rising from both her eyes and her mind, Garrett realized where she was and sat up in bed. There, in her left hand was Danni’s journal. She sat the book down on the nightstand and rubbed her eyes. It was now that her bladder once more pleaded its case for emptying. Garrett groggily took her crutches and got up with a quick trip to the bathroom as her only plan.

Emerging from the small room more awake and feeling relief, Garrett headed for her own room to get a change of clothing before she showered. Bracing herself at the door with her crutches under her armpits, the surgeon opened her door. There, to her amazement, was Danni sleeping in her bed.

Garrett stood watching the peaceful expression on the young woman’s face. It was almost angelic in nature as she slept sprawled over the large pillow that the surgeon always used. The petite woman’s arm was thrown over the upper half of the pillow as was her same side leg bent at the knee and covering the very lower half of the soft cushion. ‘I wonder who that lucky pillow is in your dreams, my friend, David or someone you’ve yet to meet?’

The surgeon halted that thought as the journal came to her mind. Garrett’s logical mind kicked into gear as more pieces of the puzzle were fitting into place. ‘It can’t be David, otherwise you would have stayed with him last night. Now that’s my gain and your loss, David.’ She closed her eyes in thanks to a higher being. ‘Why would you not wake me from your bed but instead, come to sleep in mine?’

For some reason, Garrett almost felt jealous of the pillow being held so tightly and with nothing but love written on Danni’s face. Staring at the woman in her bed, the surgeon stood mesmerized by the beauty of the moment.

Like clockwork, the inner workings of Danni’s brain registered the eyes that were staring at her. Slowly her brain summoned her body to wake. The first thoughts of the petite woman were of long strong arms pulling her in tightly until their bodies became one with each other. Trying to focus her thoughts through the cobwebs of distraction, she singled in on the form of one tall, dark-haired surgeon standing over, watching her sleep. Gentle purrs, much like that of a kitten, emulated from her body. Opening her eyes, she could see the distant form of the surgeon in her view. ‘Now, this is the way to dream, no cryptic jumbles and obliterated faces. Just what I know and trust to be real.’

The blonde woman pushed back her tousled hair and focused once more. ‘This couldn’t be real.’ But it was and Danni soon realized it. The crutches were too new to have left that good of an impression in her subconscious mind.

Now Danni felt like she was caught in the act. She could feel the slowly rising heat of a blush coming over her neck as it steadily rose to her face. She moved quickly, knowing that the redness of her embarrassment would soon follow, and moved away from the pillow. Turning over on to her back, she reached for the covers and threw them off as she sat up with her feet dangling over the edge of the bed.

Her body revolted at the loss of its warm bed and sent her into a shiver when the cool air of the room struck her. Danni stood facing the surgeon in the doorway and tried to explain. "I…I didn’t want to wake you when I got home…I thought that you wouldn’t mind…" Her mind stopped in mid sentence as the sensation of her body took hold. She looked at Garrett who was staring at her from the doorway then down to her own body where the two pointed shapes protruded from the T-shirt at her mid chest. ‘I’m going to die of embarrassment.’

Garrett stood watching the turn of events, and found herself smirking at the sight of the raised points of interest on Danni’s shirt. Hiding it quickly so as not to embarrass the woman more, the surgeon let her eyebrow edge upward without much regard.

The nurse realized that there would be no way for her to hide the signs of her impending blush. She could feel it coming fast and hard as the heat built in her chest getting ready to explode with a red so strong that Rudolph would be envious of it for his nose. Danni had to get out of there before it was too late. She shook her head and made way for the door.

"Excuse me, please!" It was the only thing that she could say when coming face to face with the surgeon. Then, as each did a quick side step at first to one side then the other, she stopped and stared directly into the tall woman’s eyes. The message conveyed was understood and Garrett turned her body sideways in the doorway allowing the woman barely enough room to pass by.

Holding her breath, Garrett waited for the petite woman to push by her. In doing so, Danni’s hardened nipples grazed ever so slightly across the upper abdomen of the surgeon. The sensation stirred something in Garrett and she found her own nipples becoming aroused. The cool air in the room was not the cause. No, it was something else. Garrett looked down the short span of hall to Danni’s room and then back to her own now empty bed. And her mind began questioning what had just happened.

*************

Choosing not to talk about the embarrassing encounter, Danni continued on in her daily activity. Garrett followed suit, not wanting to cause any more to come of it than the petite woman already had. And so, the days went by with neither broaching the subject.

Garrett continued to heal and Danni continued to be her nurse until the time finally came that the surgeon could no longer stand to be cooped up in the house. The several days of rest had done wonders for the ankle, letting it almost return to its natural coloring. Her advancing ease at using the crutches helped to lessen the cursing from her mouth, and now it was evident that the surgeon needed to start back into the world. It was with this in mind that Danni agreed to take her into the hospital for a few hours to visit and feel as though she was herself again.

Even though Garrett could not drive, they used her Blazer allowing her the extra room for the maneuvering with the crutches. Danni looked like a child sitting behind the wheel as she pulled into the driveway of the hospital to unload her eager-for-action cargo. With the passenger door opening before she could set the gear selector in park, Garrett was grabbing for her crutches.

"Whoa! Stop right there, young lady." Danni’s voice became loud and clear. "Can’t you even wait until I park?"

Garrett’s eyes flashed with anticipation and laughed. "Yeah, I guess I can wait another minute. I sure don’t want to get hurt again." Her head swung back to the tall building as her mind raced with all the things that she wanted to do and see on this first trip out of the house. The phone call last evening from her colleague Rene had spurred on this episode of cabin fever. She found herself needing to be back in touch with her world of medicine and not as the patient.

"Okay, I’m parked. Remember, I’m only going to be working for a half a shift in the E.R. and I’ll be done at 1530."

Garrett nodded, eager to get out of the vehicle. "Yes, and I have my pager on just in case you feel this need to track me down and make sure that I’m being good."

Danni smiled. "Alright then, if everything goes well today and you’re a good girl, maybe I’ll bring you tomorrow, too."

The surgeon stood on the ground looking back into the Blazer. She stood with her two crutches in one hand and used the other to fish behind the seat for something.

"What are you looking for?"

"Rene, asked me to bring my Flight Suit today. He’s thinking of staying on here and being part of the team."

"And he needs your Flight Suit to make up his mind?" Danni looked at her friend skeptically. "I think you have plans for that suit."

"Honest, he just wants to try it on. See if he feels comfortable working in it. That’s all, I swear."

"I don’t know, Gar…you seemed pretty antsy the last day or two at home."

"Look, no boots, just suit, okay?" The surgeon held up the folded Flight Suit and shoved it under her arm. "You know the rules, steel toed boots are part of the uniform. I couldn’t get that boot on if I tried."

Danni nodded in agreement. "Okay, Gar, go have yourself some fun with Rene. Just don’t forget about going home. Now, get going, while I park this beast." She laughed waiting for Garrett to close the passenger’s door, then put the Blazer into gear, heading for the garage.

**************

The surgeon chose to bypass the E.R. and headed right for her office. It felt good to be back in the bustle of the medical world. After the quick elevator ride and the humbling pace of her stroll down the hallway, Garrett arrived at the door to her office. Reaching into the pocket of her Dockers, she produced the key and entered.

Her first sight was that of Lucas’s picture on the shelf above the monitor. A smile came over her face and all was right with her world. She was home. Home to her feelings of family and love, home to her world as she thought it should always be. The events of the last few months, even days, had begun to throw her slightly off kilter. It was here in her office that she knew she thought the best, tucked away from the world around her or so she thought.

Within minutes of her arrival, Dr. Chabot stood smiling broadly in the doorway. "Dr. Trivoli, the rumors of your death have been greatly exaggerated, I presume?" He teased her like one would tease a sibling. Her hard stare or growling bark had never scared him off.

"Cut it out, Rene, I’m stir crazy from being at home; don’t lock me in a small pine box, too!" Her face was tense until she could no longer hold the smile in.

"See," he pointed to her face, "I knew that I could get you to smile."

"Yes, you did." She shook her head at his antics of dancing like a puppet on strings. "What makes you so full of life today, Rene?"

He grinned and beamed loudly, clutching onto his heart. "My wife and babies, they come home today from Canada." His face got somber for a minute and he eyed the woman across from him. "You have never experienced love until you cannot touch it at your fingertips where it was just a few days ago. Garrett, can you not say that being away from someone that you love would make you want them all the more?"

Garrett looked at the picture of her brother. Her eyes would not stay focused on it but instead slipped onto the frame itself. Try as she might, her eyes would not see Lucas but substituted the image of Danni in his place, slipped neatly under a young Garrett Trivoli’s arm, fishing gear in hand. The surgeon was stunned, not knowing what to think. "Ah…ah…" she stammered, then quickly changed the subject. "Hey, Rene, here’s that Flight Suit for you to try on."

Sensing her uneasiness, Rene let the subject drop. "Thanks!" He held it up to himself, measuring it for fit. "Would you mind if I wear if for a little while? I mean…to see if I like the feel."

"Sure, go ahead. Just don’t go home with it."

"You are my friend, eh…are you not?" Rene smiled at the prospect of letting her know how he felt.

"Yeah, I guess so. Now, go try it on." She motioned to the door. "I’m going to go check on the units and scare a few nurses." She winked and grabbed for her crutches. "I’ll see you on the floor."

*************

Danni walked into the E.R., after changing her clothes and was met by Dr. Jamie Potter. The redhead waved and smiled at the nurse until she was close at hand. "So how is tall, dark and dumped by a pothole doing?"

Danni shook her head and laughed. "Better not let her hear you call her that. She’s still pretty mad at that pothole, not to mention you, for grounding her on crutches."

Jamie rolled her eyes, and sighed. "Oh, if they were my only problems in life."

"She’s actually doing better. The discoloration is pretty much gone but the swelling is still there. I keep telling her to give it time."

"She’ll do okay, as long as she stays off it for a few more days. She’ll be good as new and reigning havoc on the staff before she knows it."

"Ain’t that the truth." Danni’s eyes closed saying a silent prayer for anyone caught in the surgeon’s way today. "So, you got me with you for the next four hours, what can I do to help out?"

They both turned their attention to the assignment board. "Looks like Nan has you assigned to cover Trauma Nurse One." Jamie smiled. "There’s one coming in about 15 minutes from now. Why don’t you go get ready."

"Thanks, Jamie. You guys always know how to make me feel right at home."

Danni went to the Trauma Hallway and checked out her room. Finding nothing to do, she grabbed a lead apron and began dressing for her part in the incoming trauma.

************

The stern-looking woman slipped her car keys into her handbag and quickly shouldered it, setting off on her mission. No one, especially a surgeon, was going to slap her in the face with her own daughter’s moral ineptitude. There would be no bastard in the Bossard family line and she was going to make sure of it. Her eldest child had always bucked her guidance in the past but now, it was going to be different. Without Danni knowing it, Mother was going to make things right again.

The woman crossed the street and started down the walkway to the huge building that was Danni’s place of work. Eager to find her man, Mother stopped the first medical looking person she could find and asked the only question on her mind. "Excuse me, but could you tell me where I might find a Dr. Garrett Trivoli?"

The O.R. Nurse looked directly at the woman. "That one’s nothing but trouble lady, do yourself a favor and find somebody else." The nurse thought about her first day with the surgeon and shivered at the arrogance of the demanding surgeon. "Your best bet would be to check the helipad. That surgeon is the only one in a Flight Suit. " The bitter nurse excused herself and continued on her way.

Mother fumed. "Trouble…eh? You have no idea." She altered her course for the Emergency Room driveway and the helipad that was near it.

************

Danni stood at the Trauma door, waiting for her patient. She thought that it was poor planning to have one helicopter on the way in while one was still seated on the pad. Her concern continued to grow as each second ticked by. The sound of the familiar long strides came from around the corner, the clicking of the toe taps sounding out its warning. A slow smile grew on the nurse’s face as the familiar figure of Cowboy came into sight.

"Hey, Cowboy!" She greeted the tall pilot by throwing her arms around his shoulders. To say that she missed him was an understatement.

The tall man leaned in to reach his long arms around the petite nurse. He had his visor flipped up on the helmet and greeted her with a warm smile. "Danni, my lil’ one!" He held her at arm’s length and poofed out the trauma gown. "I can see why you don’t wear these around a helicopter." He teased at the expanse of material that made the small woman look much bigger than she was. "You could hide a small army in there."

Danni let her hands feel the material as it started to settle down into place again. "You should see Garrett in one."

"No, I’d rather see you in those Flight Suits and back in my helicopter. Do you think it will be much longer for her ankle?"

The nurse reached out and pulled him down to her height then laid a gentle kiss on his check. "Soon, Cowboy, real soon."

The man smiled shyly as he fought the blush creeping up his body. "I…I feel like I don’t deserve that."

"But you do, and I just wanted to let you know that we miss you. Though I’m sure that Gar would have just shaken your hand."

Cowboy nodded in agreement. "That woman is going to wake up one day and surprise us all with the size of her heart."

"I’m praying for that more than you could believe. I just hope it happens soon."

"It will. Trust me, it will." The man saw the hope in the nurse’s eye. "Hey, I better get this craft up in the air if you want that pad for a trauma. I’ll talk to you later. Take care, Danni." He turned and walked into the hospital. "I’ll be back in just a minute or two," he chuckled, "got to let that coffee out."

The woman at the end of the driveway had stopped her forward motion and watched the touching display. Looking for a better view of his face, she moved closer to the building once she realized that the small blonde was her daughter. "Okay, Dr. Trivoli, I got you now." She watched with a renewed interest and when the Flight Suited man entered the building, Mother changed her direction and made for the front entrance. There was no way that she wanted Danni to know what she was about to do. "You may have picked him, daughter, but I’ll make sure he accepts his responsibilities to MY family." ‘After all the trouble that you’ve put me through with you not accepting your place in life. You should have been married a long time ago. That’s it! There’s no more time for you to squander away now Danielle.’

Mother was on a rampage now. She’d let her daughter have a say in her life and she could see that it wasn’t a good one. It was time for her to be shown how it was going to be for the rest of her life.

*************

Dr. Rob Kreger stood in the hallway waiting for the trauma to arrive when he caught sight of the Flight Suited figure headed his way. He squinted, not believing what his eyes were telling him. "Dr. Chabot?" The Chief Resident took a step forward. "Is that you? Why do you have Trivoli’s Suit on?"

The tall man squared his shoulders and preened his sleeves. "Don’t you think that I do it more justice than her?" He was obviously in a good mood. He tugged at the chest of the suit to show the room that was unused. "I think maybe I need just a little take in up here though."

"Hmm…I think she fills that out better." He looked around to see if the ominous woman was in earshot but the only person he could see was the matronly dressed woman with the handbag on her shoulder. He smiled at her but she didn’t seem to take note of his greeting and turned her back is if she were searching for someone. "Does she know that you’re getting it?"

Dr. Chabot smiled. "And with her blessing, too!" They both laughed at the thought. "I’m not sure she’ll ever let anyone into her pants any other way."

Dr. Kreger shuddered. "Don’t want to go there."

"Speaking of going, I’ve got to get back to the O.R. to schedule my case for tomorrow morning. I’ll see you then, remember you’re assisting me."

"I won’t forget." Rob Kreger waved good-bye to his colleague and watched him head on down the hall toward the elevators.

"Hey, Rob!" Danni waved in his direction. "Have you seen Garrett around?"

"No, but I think Rene is meeting your surgeon in the O.R." He watched the young woman walk toward him. "Anything special that you need Garrett for that I can’t help you out with?"

"No, just checking up on my surgeon. Making sure that there’s no trouble I need to watch out for."

The matronly visitor edged her way toward the elevator trying not to be seen by her own daughter. She needed to get this Garrett Trivoli by himself if she was ever going to set things right. ‘I couldn’t believe that he could be joking about ‘getting it’ with his friends. Has he no couth?’ Finally the doors to an elevator opened and Mother moved to get on it. ‘And that friend, outright lying to my daughter to cover for that cad.’ Her raging temper was going to get the best of her if she didn’t keep it under control. ‘Why, hearing him talk, he even sounds French-Canadian like her grandfather.’ The woman shuddered at the thought. She’d fought long and hard to have her family thought of as French and not French-Canadian.

The woman took one last glimpse of her daughter and ducked into the loaded car.

"Hey, Danni, did you see that creepy old lady?" Rob motioned with his head toward the elevator doors that were just closing.

"Not a good one, why?"

"Nothing, I guess." The Chief Resident thought to himself for a moment than looked at Danni. "You know, if I were a betting man I’d bet that woman was up to no good."

Danni thought back to the brief glimpse that she had gotten of the woman right before the doors closed. ‘Hmmm…no, it couldn’t be. What would she be doing in Pittsburgh?’ The nurse shrugged her shoulders. "The trauma’s going to be landing in two minutes. We better get back there." She grabbed the sleeve of Rob’s white lab coat and tugged at it until he followed her.

***************** Mrs. Bossard got off the elevator and looked around. There, at the end of the corridor was a sign pointing out her way. "O.R., Hmmm…let’s see if I can’t catch up to you now." She was a woman on a mission and no one had better get in her way. That was until she turned the corner and saw the huge signs hung on the doors. "Authorized Personnel Only! Damn it!"

The staff coming out of the door could hear the mutterings and one nurse quickly came to the woman’s aid. "Is there anything that I can do to help you?"

Mother looked up at the woman with fire in her eyes, "Yes! I need to find Dr. Garrett Trivoli."

The intense look on the woman’s face gave the nurse a fright. She sure wouldn’t want this woman tracking her down. "You’re looking for the Trauma Fellows. Why I just saw both Garrett and Rene Chabot outside of the doctor’s lounge just a moment ago."

"Where?" She was no longer asking but demanding. "Which way to that lounge?"

"Down the hall and to your left." The nurse watched her with a wary eye as the woman turned around and stormed off down the hall, her hands acting like excited robots as they opened and closed around the shoulder strap of her handbag.

************

"Oh, there you are, I’ve been looking for you all over. I thought we were going to make the rounds together." The Flight Suited surgeon held open the door for the woman on crutches.

Garrett had finally met up with Rene when she came out of the Doctor’s Lounge outside of the O.R. She stood casually leaning on her crutches with her back against the wall as Dr. Chabot stood in front of her. "What…no greeting? You just want to get right down to business?"

He took her hand and kissed the back of it. "Oh, but you are lovely this fine day."

Garrett shook her head and chuckled. "You’ll never give up will you? What would your wife say if she saw that?"

"But how could she see it, if she is nowhere around." He wiggled his eyes and smiled broadly at her. "Wife? Do I have a wife?"

"Well, whatever you want to call her then."

"Ah, yes! The mistress of my nights," his eyes grew wide, "well, at least when I’m not on call."

"You’re never going to change, are you?"

"And why should I…eh? I’m having way too much fun." He winked at the dark-haired woman and leaned against the wall next to her with one arm. "If you would listen to me, you’d be having some fun, too!" He cast his eyes down to the placement of her heart. "Open you heart and let the love find you."

"You keep telling me that. So, any news as to when the babies are coming?"

"OH! It will be so good to have the twins here, safe and in my arms finally. I can’t wait to see them. They’re changing everyday, getting bigger and bigger now. Why just the other day, one kicked me while we were playing…what is that game? Hard to get…no, hide and seek."

Garrett opened her mouth to speak but stopped at the sound of a commotion just a little piece down the hall. "Rene, did you see what happened?" She motioned to the matronly looking woman being attended to by several Staff Physicians and nurses.

Dr. Chabot studied the scene and shrugged his shoulders. "I don’t know, maybe she got some unexpected news that she wasn’t prepared for. Come on, let’s go back to the office and I’ll give you this Flight Suit back." He dramatically motioned for her to lead the way, saying, "After you, my friend."

The two colleagues made their way past the group of people attending to the dazed woman. The Flight Suited man stopped and gathered up the belongings that had spilled from the handbag, then set it down next to the woman. "Nothing surgical looking for us to worry about. She must have a bad heart," Rene said in passing, and headed for the elevator.

Chapter 11

Garrett sat deep in thought, her foot resting on the chair across from her. Even though it was now several weeks out from her injury, the ankle gave her pain at times. The act of elevating her foot during the day was now in her subconscious rather than an afterthought. She looked at her ankle as she tested its range of motion, wincing when she'd gone too far. 'Yeah, Trivoli, that pothole got you good.' Her mind drifted slightly to the image of a petite blonde nurse. 'Just like she did.' The surgeon closed her eyes and sighed.

The end of May was fast approaching and here she was with a stack of letters in her hand, all of them with offers of jobs trying to win her skills for their very own purposes. They all seemed to enjoy boasting that they had the best and brightest of the new rising stars on their payroll. It was their plan to entice the surgeon with offers of money, stock options, cars, houses, and even computer dating arrangements to name a few. She had to laugh at that one and wondered just how much they knew about her, probably more than she knew about herself. 'What do I know about myself?'

It was a puzzle that Garrett had been working on for the past month or two. Each time that she thought she had it all figured out, something else would happen to make her reevaluate what she had deliberated. Her life seemed to be constantly up in the air, as did the people that surrounded her. Each one always looking at her as if this great enlightenment should be taking place any minute. Some even more than others, like Danni. How often had she seen that hopeful look in the blonde's eyes? The surgeon's heart went out to her friend but she wasn't quite sure what it was that woman wanted from her. She was trying hard at this friendship but perhaps there was something more, something that she just wasn’t getting.

The dark-haired woman was finding that her responses to some situations were even more up in the air than anything. She often wondered why Danni’s touch sent shock waves through her as if she’d touched a live wire. No one’s touch had ever done anything to her before. Then there was the time the petite nurse had squeezed by her in the doorway to her room and suddenly Garrett had felt a stimulation surging through her body that to this day just thinking about it still took her breath away. These were all feelings that she’d never had before.

It all made Garrett wonder if there wasn’t some plan that was being put in motion without her knowing about it. Fate had brought her here to Pittsburgh, obviously, for some reason. Now, somewhere in her hands was the fate for the rest of her life. She stared down at the handful of letters and wondered how and when the fates would interact with her again.

"Maybe I should cast my fate to the wind. What do you think, Danni?" She mused aloud unaware that the nurse was standing at the bottom of the stairs within earshot.

Danni noticed the letters in Garrett’s hand and her brow furrowed with consternation. She closed her eyes to stave off the tears. She’d looked at the return addresses on the corners of the envelopes as each one had been delivered to the house with Garrett’s name on them and committed them to memory. Most had been from the West Coast, big name facilities, but several were also from the South. Heck, she’d even received a letter from Hawaii. The nurse bit her lip at the thought of Garrett leaving, being so many miles away. The pain was almost unbearable.

‘A little over a month to go and I could lose her forever. I can’t lay my feelings out on the line now, she’s got too much think about as it is. I pushed her into this friendship. I want her to make this decision on her own. If she loves me, she’ll stay, we’ll work something out.’ Danni was still concerned for her friend’s career. How would her peers, patients and the power structure of the hospital that she’d work in treat a gay surgeon? These were all concerns of the nurse’s in regard to her friend. Danni knew how she would treat her, lovingly, tenderly, with kindness and consideration. The nurse would downright cherish the day that the spark of love ignited into the flame of passion between them, if only it would.

Danni pulled herself together before she spoke. The words were soft and reverent in nature. "I’d rather you let your heart rule your fate than the wind."

Garrett sat up, startled by the voice. Turning her head, she could see that same hopeful look on Danni’s face that had been haunting her for sometime now. "I…I didn’t know that you were up yet."

"I’m sorry, Gar, but I thought you were asking me a question. I didn’t mean to disturb you."

The blonde crossed the room toward the kitchen. The entire time blue eyes were on her, watching each step and savoring it. The surgeon could feel her own pulse quicken when she focused in on the gentle swaying movement of the nurse’s anatomy from side to side with each stride. Garrett closed her eyes as Danni turned the corner into the other room. ‘Was that lawyer right? Gosh, what would Danni say if she knew I was looking at her like that?’

The surgeon hung her head in disbelief. ‘Face it, Trivoli, you’re gay. You always thought that you might be. Hell, you even tried having sex with women when you were in college.’ She breathed in a cleansing breath and opened her eyes. ‘Now what do you do?’

She ran her hand through her hair as her mind brought forth scenarios of Danni interacting with the surgeon, one of denial, one of rejection, one of acceptance and one of avoiding the issue all together. The surgeon looked back down to the handful of job offers. The thought of what being involved in a gay relationship might mean to the nurse with her career and family came running through her mind until it smacked her in the face. ‘Then again, I could always just run.’

The sound of the beeper put an end to the thoughts as Garrett reached for her pager. The message scrolled across the screen, "Call command immediately." And she did.

Coming into the kitchen, Garrett looked sheepishly at the blonde woman as she was coming away from the refrigerator. "Danni, we’ll be driving in separately this morning."

"Huh?" The confusion was evident on her face. "W…why?"

"That was the Command Desk calling for Dr. McMurray. Seems like he has plans for me today. I’m not sure of what it’s all about but he wanted to make sure that you had a way home tonight."

"You don’t think something happened to Nathan or Rene do you?" Danni’s heart was quick to show its concern.

"They didn’t say." Garrett bit at her lip, "I hope not. They just told me to report to McMurray’s office as soon as I can get in."

Danni nodded her head. "I’ll drive myself in. You’d better go get your shower."

"Thanks, I’m kind of curious as to what’s up." She turned and started for the doorway into the living room.

"Gar…" Danni’s voice was soft and quivering, "you’ll let me know what’s up, won’t you?" She watched the surgeon nod in agreement then head toward the shower.

***********

Garrett stood in the outer office waiting to be seen by Dr. McMurray. It was his summons that had brought her here. Waiting patiently, she moved along from one wall to the other gazing at the photographs of the man’s life and career. It always intrigued her how he had managed to have some pictorial archive from every aspect of his illustrious tenure in the capacity of Chief of Trauma Services. Even the fact that most of the photographs were also taken with his wife in them, kept her more in awe than she cared to openly admit.

‘I bet it’s wonderful to know that someone stands by you no matter what. I can see why he loves his wife so much.’ Garrett moved on to study the next picture in the line up and stood tilting her head from side to side, deciding just what it was about the picture that caught her eye. Absorbed in it, the surgeon hadn’t noticed the opening of the door or the advancement of her mentor into the reception area.

"I was a young snipper when that one was taken." The Ol’ Cutter stood next to her and studied the picture for the zillionth time in his life. "I was fresh out of my transitional year and ready to take on the world of surgery." He chuckled slightly. "I had a new shiny scalpel in my bag, back then we still carried them, and two dollars in my pocket. You would have thought I was a king." McMurray leaned in toward her. "Do you see anything out of place about that picture? Go on," he nudged her, "take a good look at it."

Garrett stepped closer and studied it intently. "Why, isn’t that your wife in the background?"

He smiled and shook his head. "No, technically not. I hadn’t even met her yet, let alone married to her. She just happened to be there, like she was in all of the rest of the pictures. It was like fate had dictated that we would meet and spend the rest of our lives together."

The tall woman stepped back slightly, shaken at what he had said. The surgeon’s mind jumped to the loop of her memory where she had come barreling through the front E.R. doors at the beginning of her shift on that first day, nearly running smack into Danni.

"Do you believe in fate, Dr. Trivoli?"

"I’m beginning to think so, sir. Why do you ask?"

"I think that our fates are planned out for us even before we are born. They write our story in the sands of time and it’s our obligation to live them out here on earth."

"Excuse me, Dr. McMurray," his secretary spoke up. "You have that Board Meeting at eight o’clock, remember?"

"Yes, the Board. Thank you, Stella, for reminding me." His voice was now more business-like than mystical. "Come on into the office Garrett and I’ll tell you why I asked you to stop by."

Garrett followed him in and sat in the chair that he offered to her. She didn’t know why she was there and right now she didn’t really care. All that kept running through her mind was the young "snipper" photograph and the thought of someone else being in control of her life.

The Ol' Cutter rounded his desk and sat down. Leaning forward, he began to speak. "I won't beat around the bush, Trivoli. I don't have time for that. I have a favor to ask of you."

"Anything, sir, just ask." Garrett respected her mentor and would do anything to help him out. "I’m getting kind of bored, not being able to fly and all."

"Good, I was hoping that you would be eager to help. I figured that you’d be pretty tired of doing rounds and the clinic by now. You having any trouble with that ankle…I mean…standing on it for a while?"

"I’m not using the crutches if that’s what you mean." She tested her ankle and smiled. "I think that I could manage a round of surgery or two a day. Of course, that’s without jumping up and down." She teased him to make her point.

"That’s good then. One of our former Chief Resident's is in a bind and needs some surgical bail out." He looked at her coyly. "You wouldn’t mind doing a few emergent appendectomies or anything like that, would you? I mean that if you would, I could always send somebody else…"

The woman's eyes lit up as thoughts of O.R. time was being dangled in front of her. "Me, mind a few appy’s? Never, just tell me where to go and who to talk to. I’m on my way."

"I believe you know him, too. It's David Beckman." McMurray watched the expression on her face turn cold. "Is there some problem between you and he that I'm not aware of?"

"No, sir. No problem professionally." The woman's body tensed, as she was becoming more defensive.

"Personally, then?" He eyed her suspiciously as he watched her eyebrow raise in challenge. "Did something happen the night of the dinner that I don’t know about?"

"No! I…I…it’s nothing. I assure you that nothing will get in my way of treating the patients."

"Alright then, I made arrangements for you to stay at the hospital in a call room of your own. While you are there, all of your meals will be covered by the Department of Surgery."

She nodded. "When do I start and for how long?"

The Ol’ Cutter smiled at her, pleased that he could count on the talented surgeon. "I told them you’d be there by noon." He winked and nodded. "Stella will have the directions for you and anything else that you might need. Who knows, maybe this is something that the fates have had in store for you all along." He teased.

She smiled wryly at his remark. "If that’s all, I’ll get my things, along with a few changes of clothing and be on my way." She watched him, nodded, and rose from the chair to leave.

"Trivoli," he called out as she came to the door.

Turning back to him she answered. "Yes?"

"Thanks."

************

There was no need to leave the house, not just yet anyway. Garrett had taken her own car and Danni really did want to address the pile of mail that was left on the desk in her slot. She hadn’t had time to do any of the normal things that her life used to consist of since the tall, raven-haired woman came into her life. ‘Normal? How can anything be normal when I’m gay?’

The petite blonde thought about the topsy-turvy way that her life was spinning out of the realm of control. ‘I can hear it now when Mother finds out that I’m gay. She’s going to have a stroke.’ Danni shook her head as she sorted through the mail. ‘She’ll disown me and throw me right out of the…’

Danni put the rest of the mail down and hastily opened the one with the familiar writing. The delicate paper from some rich looking stationery set fell neatly open with little help from her. The nurse’s eyes quickly skimmed down the page until she came to the last line. It was now that she began coughing and hitting her chest with her empty, open hand. The nurse’s eyes got bigger, "Mother," she sighed. "How did you find out already when the woman of my dreams shares a house with me, works with me, and she still doesn’t know it yet?"

"What the hell is she talking about?" Danni turned the page over and looked at the back of it. It was blank. The petite woman picked up the envelope and stared into the gaping hole as she held it opened and then reread the name on the front of the envelope. It was for her all right, only Danni had no idea what in the world her mother was talking about with the phrase, ‘Take care of my Grandbabies.’

The woman looked down at her compact but shapely body, even going as far as to lift her T-shirt and gaze at her own flat stomach. "Mother, you are really losing it now if you think I’m…I’m pregnant."

The tall dark-haired woman froze in mid step as she came in the front door, her cool blue eyes flashing in total amazement of what she had just heard. The instant replay of her mind spinning backwards then forward again. Each and every time it did, the same phrase rang true. ‘I’m pregnant.’ The pained blue eyes slowly looked over Danni’s taunt exposed abdomen. Garrett felt the anger grow deep inside her when she realized who it must have been by. David, no doubt.

If she thought that she had personal issues with Dr. Beckman before, well, this just put the icing on the cake. ‘And you thought everything was fine when you found her asleep in your bed that morning, didn’t you? Well, I guess it didn’t take all night to give her that present.’ The surgeon breathed deeply trying to calm her body from the out crying of rage that she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. Feeling the reigns of control take over her body, Garrett focused on controlling her mind.

It was not what the surgeon had in mind for the way things should be, not after her body had given her the idea that Danni may be as interested in her, as she was becoming in the petite woman herself. But she was certain of things now and that was that the nurse would prefer males, with that one particular male being none other than Dr. David Beckman.

The blonde woman released her shirt as she clutched tighter onto the letter. The sound of the opening door had startled her and she stood staring at the tall figure as if she were a deer caught in the headlights of some fast moving vehicle. Finally, she was able to speak. "Gar? What are you doing home?"

"I came home to pack a bag. McMurray is sending me down to help out at…" Garrett thought before she finished, "another hospital."

Danni shoved the letter into her pocket. "Where are we going and for how long? What am I supposed to pack for, flying or inside hospital work?" The nurse was eager to get underway. She loved working with the surgeon.

"Ah, Danni, Dr. McMurray didn’t say anything about you coming along." Blue eyes looked directly into green and could see the pained look of separation hidden there. "I…I guess that I could call him and see if it was an oversight on his part." The surgeon slipped her phone from her pocket, hitting the speed dial as she brought it up to her ear.

The nurse stood looking hopeful while she waited for Garrett to get her the answer.

"Stella, is Dr. McMurray still in the office?" She paused than nodded her head. "I just wanted to ask him a quick question."

Danni stepped close to the tall woman, her head leaning towards the phone.

"Oh, good. I caught you before you left. I don’t remember you saying anything about Dan…ah…Nurse Bossard. Is she to go with me?"

Danni strained on tiptoe to get closer until she was practically leaning on Garrett’s shoulder. She could hear the gruff voice coming across the airwaves. "No, she’ll work in the E.R. for the time that you’re gone. They just need a surgeon to cover their emergencies for now."

Garrett turned to observe Danni’s face and saw the start of tears welling up in her eyes. "Thank you, sir. I’m sorry if I wasted your time." The surgeon was glad that she didn’t have to tell the young woman next to her that she was not going along. It would be hard enough to not have her around but to have to be the one to tell her that she wasn’t needed would have been even worse. ‘You better get used to it, Trivoli. She’s not going to be in your life for much longer, at least, not how you’d like it to be.’

She brought the phone away from her head. The look on her face said it all. She was disappointed at both McMurray and David for taking the one thing that she had come to rely on in her life out of the picture, Danni.

************

Thrown back into her world of self sufficiency, Garrett drove along the highway until she reached her destination, a rather moderately sized brick building that was the work place of Danni’s baby’s father, Dr. David Beckman. Oh, would she love to do a few things to him. Leaving her emotions for the man and the situation in which she found herself in the car, she gathered her duffel bag up and walked into the hospital ready to accept her new assignment.

"I’m here to meet with Dr. Beckman, I’m Dr. Trivoli. Could you page him for me?" Garrett let her eyes drift over the lobby. It wasn’t the kind of hospital that she had been used to working at. Her career had always driven her to choose the larger, more cutting edge kind.

"Yes, Doctor." The receptionist was polite.

Garrett turned her back to the desk and took in the feel of the entire room. Her mind sent images of Danni in every corner as she imagined the petite blonde moving down to West Virginia to live with David and raise her family. She could see Danni sacrificing herself for the good of the baby and David’s career. ‘Good gosh, she’s so good at doing that. Giving it all up for everyone else and grabbing on to nothing for herself.’

It was now that Garrett Trivoli wondered if she could ever be like that, giving it all up for the sake of someone else. But wasn’t she doing just that now? Giving up exploring a remote chance with Danni because she thought her friend wanted something…no, someone else. Well, wasn’t it? The surgeon’s mind questioned her own motives and that was when she realized that the young woman behind the desk was talking to her.

"Huh?" Garrett turned back to the woman. "I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention."

The woman had noticed, but it wasn’t her job to point this out. "He’ll meet you on the second floor, right outside of the Operating Room." She stated for a third time.

"Thank you." Garrett said reluctantly and reached down into her depths to put that old mask of stoicism back into place.

*************

Danni had reported into the E.R. for work. She would be an extra pair of hands in an already short-staffed emergency area. The nurse welcomed the chance to keep busy and willingly jumped into her duties. She thought positively. The more that she worked, the faster the time would pass and her raven-haired friend would be back in her world.

The nurse stood waiting for an elevator, after having transported a patient to the floor, when the familiar voice startled her.

"Nurse Bossard." The older gentleman nodded toward her in greeting. "I’m glad to see that you’re keeping busy without a certain surgeon to look after."

Danni turned on her heels, ready to meet the challenge, only to see the Ol’ Cutter standing just a few feet away. "I…ah…good morning, sir," her voice having a bit of an edge to it.

"Hmmm…mad at me are you for breaking up the team?"

The petite blonde just glared at him. "You’re the boss."

"Trivoli needed a little time to herself, O.R. time." He grunted. "Besides, who else could I send and not worry about doing their best. In fact, I was kind of glad when Dr. Beckman called me with the request."

"David asked…"

"For a surgeon to help out in a sticky situation. Seems some of their surgeons were at a conference and got stuck without transportation for a couple of days and just yesterday, another one of their surgeons fell and broke his arm. They seemed to be in a bit of a bind for a few days."

"He didn’t ask for her specifically did he?" ‘David if you did, I’ll kill you.’

"Why no. He just asked for someone to cover their emergency surgeries." He thought about that for a moment. "David said that he wouldn’t need someone for more than two or three days."

Now Danni really had something to think about while she waited for Garrett to come home. ‘I wonder if I’ll be one of the subjects that come up when he talks to her?’

The sound of the ding for the elevator was heard and grabbed both of their attentions. The arrow pointed up as the doors began to open.

"That’s for me." Dr. McMurray advanced onto the car and turned to face forward. "She’ll be home before you know it." He nodded reassuringly just as the doors closed.

Danni stood there wide-eyed and wondering. ‘Home before I know it. Now if I only knew what David's going to do, now that he has her all to himself? As if I don’t already know.’

************

Garrett waited outside of the swinging double doors to the Operating Room, her fingers nervously playing with the change in her pocket as she thought about how it would feel to be back in surgery. How she loved to be in the thick of things, the leader in a well-orchestrated symphony of surgical skills. She let her thoughts drift as she turned and stared out the window overlooking the small rural area.

It was funny how her mind evolved from the thick of surgery to one petite blonde, but it did. Everywhere she looked, the surgeon saw Danni in different stages of her pregnancy and with David not far behind. Garrett closed her eyes tightly trying to will the images away from her view. ‘Well, McMurray, I guess this is my fate now, isn’t it?’ She turned and opened her eyes to see David emerge from the doorway. ‘Why did you have to send me?’

"Ah, Dr. Trivoli. I see that you made it a little earlier than I planned."

The surgeon swallowed the bile that was gathering in the back of her throat. "Yes, it seems that I’m a little earlier than planned for all around today." Garrett thought of the earlier surprise that made her aware of Danni’s condition. "I hope I’m not too early for you now."

"No, in fact, now is a good time. I just finished a case and I can show you around."

Garrett reached for her duffel bag and shouldered it. "Lead on," she said dryly and waited to follow him.

"First, let’s get you settled in." He motioned for her to follow and after a few quick turns down the hallway, they stood in front of a door. Producing a key, he opened the door and ushered her into the room. "This is my call room. I’ll let you put your things in here and this will be where you’ll sleep when you need to. I’ll use my office for the nights that I’m on call." He held out the key for her to take.

"Thanks," she took the key and then eyed the mattress as she laid her bag down on it. ‘I wonder if this was where…NO, I don’t want to go there now.’ "I won’t be spending much time in here, but thanks. Now, can you show me to the Emergency Department? That’s what you want me to cover, right?"

"Yeah," David noticed the changed expression in her eyes when she looked at the bed, "I’ll show you the way right now." He motioned for her to go through the doorway ahead of him. As she did, the man looked back at the single, made up bed and wondered just what Danni saw in this woman. She just seemed so cold and aloof to have someone like the blonde nurse be interested in her. He exited the room and closed the door behind him, hearing the click of the lock as it set in place.

"I’ll need to see the E.R., the O.R., and the Recovery Room." Her voice was all business as she followed him down the hall. "Maybe the Cafeteria, too." She added with the thought of Danni running through her head.

"I can do that." David chuckled. "I didn’t think that you were a big eater like Danni." He watched the expression on her face soften at the mention of the woman’s name. Yes, she had a soft spot for the nurse somewhere in that stoic heart.

"I’m not. I’m just used to asking, for her sake." She raised an eyebrow in challenge.

David smiled and nodded his head. "She grows on you after a while, doesn’t she?"

‘And I’m sure that you’re going to get first hand evidence of that in just a very short time.’ Garrett bit at her lip not wanting her thoughts to slip out. After all, it wasn’t her place to tell him he was a father in the making. No, that was strictly between Danni and him. The tall woman continued to follow his lead without commenting on his question, hoping to put an end to the small talk.

They rounded the corner and came to a door marked Stairwell No. 3. Opening it, David started on his rehearsed speech. "We’re headed down to the first floor now and the area right outside of the Trauma Room. The hospital is only providing services on a Level Three accreditation, that means we only receive and keep traumas during the hours of 7 in the morning until 7 at night when the full compliment of services are available."

"And what of the other twelve hours?"

"We stabilize and transport to a Level One facility, such as the one that you are on loan to us from."

Garrett wasn’t quite sure that she liked that thought, but it was one that she would have to live with for the next few days.

As they reached the bottom of the steps, David’s pager beeped as he reached for the door.

"Trauma Team Page Level One, Male mid to late 20’s with a single gunshot to chest, agonal breathing noted. ETA 2 minutes. This is a Level One Trauma Team Page."

David stopped short. He turned to the tall woman, his eyes pleading silently for help.

"Care if I scrub in with you, doctor? I’ll be able to get a first hand look at how your department runs that way." Her eyebrow arched as she waited for his acceptance of her help.

With a smile breaking at the corners of his mouth, he silenced the beeper. "Right this way, Dr. Trivoli. I’d be happy to have your assistance."

With a few twist and turns down the hallway, they soon found themselves in the newly arranged trauma room. The gathered nursing staff was dressing quickly in lead aprons, gowns and masks. The two surgeons followed suit, finishing as the medics wheeled the patient into the room.

Gasping, intermittent, labored breath sounds of the patient were noted as the stretcher passed in front of Garrett, alerting her of his dire straights. His skin was cool and clammy to touch while looking to be a pasty color of white.

"Can someone page Anesthesia to this room, STAT," her voice rose above the din of the room. Her ever-observant eyes caught sight of small pool of blood on the left side of the stretcher sheet. "Cut his shirt off on the right side of his body and across the left shoulder and sleeve, we’ll need to keep that left side intact for the police."

David pressed his finger deep into the nail bed of the patient’s thumb then released it. The poor blood return allowed the whitened nail to remain that way for a lengthy period of time. "Let’s hang two units of blood." Looking up to the heart monitor he could see the slowing complexes signifying the outcome of a dying man. "Let’s check for pulses," he directed his staff.

Both surgeons felt for pulses, Garrett at the neck and David at the groin. After several seconds had passed by, they met each other’s gaze. The look in their eyes became cold and steely, as each of the surgeons knew what had to be done.

"Set up for a thoracotomy tray, we’re going to open his chest." David gulped. This wasn’t something that he had done on an almost daily basis anymore. The last time had been in his last week of residency back in Pittsburgh with Danni at his side. His thoughts drifted to the petite blonde nurse that he had come to adore but were quickly turned back on the task at hand when he saw the orange-brown splash of Betadine across the now bared chest to prep the area. ‘Thanks, Danni, for telling me that Dr. Trivoli was the one to steal your heart. And for her being here at this moment.’ He thought as he looked at the intensity on the face of the woman surgeon across the table from him. It gave him a newfound confidence as he forged on. "Let’s give a dose of Epinephrine."

The crash cart was pulled into place and opened, revealing the drugs necessary to work a cardiac arrest with ease. The expertise of the dark, curly-haired nurse betrayed her look of youth. This was something that she was evidently deft and well rehearsed at over the years. With a calm air about her, she readied the prefilled syringes, giving each one in succession as she called out the drug and time that it was administered as well as location of intravenous line used.

With a flurry of feet a new person entered the arena. "I’m here now, what is it that you…" the anesthesiologist suddenly realized that his skills were indeed needed immediately. "Let me through, I’ll need a curved blade on that laryngoscope and set up a size 8 endotracheal tube." He called out his orders, making his way to the head of the patient. Grabbing a set of gloves from out of his pocket, he readied himself to intubate the hardly breathing patient. With skilled hands that had a lifetime of practice, the physician started to place the tube. "Damn! I need suction, he’s got vomit blocking the airway." A suction catheter appeared in the hand of the male nurse standing by his side. After a few quick passes to remove the obstruction, the vocal cords could be visualized, allowing the intubation to be completed successfully. He remained at the head of the patient, manually breathing for him with the large oxygen-filled bag attached to the endotube, holding it in place while the nurse secured the tube from dislodging. The anesthesiologist watched as both sides of the patient’s chest rose as he squeezed the oxygen into the patient’s lungs. Convinced that the tube was properly positioned, he gave a nod to the surgeons to begin.

Garrett stood poised and ready with a scalpel in her hand; after all, it was her side of the chest that had been penetrated by the bullet. "Okay, everybody ready?" She began to make the incision down the length of the ribs cutting hastily through the tissue to bring the contents of the chest cavity into view.

"Rib spreaders," David commanded, his hand held out ready to accept them.

The nurse held up two pieces, looking at him with horror in her eyes. "I don’t think these are going to do anything, Doc."

"Shit! What the hell…" his mind raced with thought. "Get me another rib spreader."

Garrett acting in her normally cool, in control manner didn’t let the moment of failed equipment stop her from obtaining her goal. She would just use what she had at hand. "You and you," she motioned with her head to the two people on either side of her. "Each one of you grab on a rib and separate them until the rib spreader comes."

The two nurses jumped at the command, not knowing what else to do as the aide took off down the hall for the spare set of rib spreaders. When enough space was gained, the sinewy, gloved fingers of the surgeon gently pushed aside the expanding lobes of lung, revealing the inner contents of the cavity.

The nurses peered down into the chest, realizing that their own hands were literally now a part of the procedure.

David adjusted the large surgical spotlight above them as they looked to see the extent of the damage caused by the small 22mm bullet.

"I have the rib spreaders!" The aide came dashing back into the room as she tore open the sterile packaging.

Taking the intact spreaders, David worked to put them in place. "Okay, you can let go now, thanks." He watched as the hands of the nurses withdrew, making sure that the hands of the other surgeon were not encumbered in any way.

"Get an abdominal X-ray, there seems to be hardly any blood in this chest cavity. She looked over the muscle that pumped the blood throughout the body. Instead of a full, well-rounded and beating heart, there was a contracted and non-moving mass. "We’ve got to expand his volume. Give him two more units of blood and open up the other lines with Lactated Ringers’ going." She began to gently massage the firm muscle, trying to get the chambers to open up and accept the newly replenished volume of life giving fluid. A moment or two passed by until she could feel the muscle begin to beat of its own accord. She withdrew her hands as both surgeons bent over the opening, looking for any source of bleeding and injury.

"Here! It looks like a hole in the diaphragm." David saw it first.

"Suture, please." She responded immediately to his words. "Call the O.R. and tell them that we need a room, we’re coming up." The words rolled out of her mouth before she realized what she was saying. Her eyes flashed over to David, in hoping that he realized the critical nature of the patient. "Don’t you think, Dr. Beckman?"

"Yes, definitely." He hurried to assist her with clipping the suturing thread after it was knotted. "Get us an elevator to the O.R. Pack up, we’re moving in a minute." He threw down the surgical scissors onto the pile of utensils that they had used and draped a sterile blue towel over the still exposed chest.

He stepped back long enough for the nursing staff to attach the patient to a portable monitor and accumulate the bags of hanging intravenous fluids onto the one-wheeled pole that the blood infuser was on. The quantity of activity in the room was mind boggling as every person readied the patient for the trip to the operating theater.

"The elevator’s here," someone announced.

Garrett motioned to the surgeon across from her, "Lead on, I’m right behind you." She ripped off her gloves and grabbed a fresh pair as they left the room, David in the lead. She stopped momentarily as the X-ray of the patient’s abdomen was being hung on the view box. She sighed deeply, knowing all too well that the extent of the patient’s injuries lay within that area. She fell instep behind the entourage as it started into the elevator.

"Who else would end up in the O.R. assisting on a Trauma Case during an orientation?" She shook her head in disbelief, making a mental note to tell her roommate of her adventure. She could see her already, her mouth open and wanting to know why she wasn't along for the ride. A smile hid itself under her masked face as thoughts of the blonde nurse danced through her mind. She found that happening more and more. ‘Better learn to squelch that now, before it becomes a habit, Trivoli. She’ll be his dreams now.’ The tall woman looked ahead to David, slowly resigning herself to that fate.

*************

Danni sat at the kitchen table without a single light on in the house. It was getting to be dusk and the light was fading from the day. So much like her life. Without the surgeon there with her, the nurse’s life seemed to pale in spirit. The petite woman didn’t like the feeling of loneliness that was creeping over her, nor did she enjoy the emptiness of the house around her.

And so she sat there, waiting for the dark to overshadow her, while that ill- begotten letter kept coming to the front of her mind. What the hell was her mother talking about? She took it out and read it once more in the fading light. Her mind searching for answers, she thought to call Brie then quickly decided against it. To call Brie would be like talking directly to Mother and Danni didn’t need that right now, not when her mind was on Garrett. Besides, wasn’t that what was making the whole letter of Mother’s a little confusing anyway? Why would Mother say that Garrett was flirting with a woman unless…did she know that Danni had feelings for her?

*************

Tight-lipped and calculating, Mrs. Bossard sat waiting for her son to return her phone call. It had taken her several days if not almost a full week to come to terms with the idea of having her oldest daughter impregnated with twins, bastards as they were. Now, she was ready to deal with the fact and, after some drastic planning, she considered the legal issues to be her best bet here. Matt was a lawyer and would, of course, know just how to go about it. The matriarch was pleased with herself for pushing him in that direction. It was one part of her blueprints for her children’s lives that had seemed to be working as planned. Now, if she could only get Danni’s life on track like she wanted it to be, then life would be good again.

The phone rang and she hurriedly picked it up, caring to not waste another second in time before her daughter and the family’s good name would be vindicated. "Hello, Mrs. Bossard speaking."

"Hello, Mother."

"Matthew, I’ve been waiting for your call. What took so long for you to find time to return it?" The sternness of her voice was evident.

"Mother, I was in court when you called."

"I bet if that Judge knew that it was your mother, he’d…"

"Well, I’m here now, what do you need?" He tried to corral her assault on his ears.

Her eyes flashed red at being directed in her thoughts by her son, but he was a good lawyer and she knew it. "Matt, your sister Danielle has gotten herself into a bit of trouble. I need you to take care of it without dragging the family name through the mud."

"Danni?" He thought of his gentle sister. "What could Danni have possibly done to get in trouble?"

"I prefer to think that it was not her fault at all."

"Mother, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I can’t help her," Matt pleaded his case.

"Alright, but this is strictly between you and me." The matriarch continued on in a hushed tone so as not to be heard by anyone but her son. "That surgeon that your sister has been seeing has gotten her pregnant and with twins, no doubt."

"Danni’s pregnant? Why I…"

"Oh, it gets better, too. Dr. Garrett Trivoli is also referring to her as his mistress and laughing about it to all his friends at the hospital. Then, if that’s not enough, I saw him proposition a lovely young woman right before my eyes to have…" she paused momentarily, "to have ‘IT’ in his office." Her face became red with anger and her lips tightened to thin little lines.

Matt was shocked at what he’d just heard. Quite frankly, being a lawyer and all, it took a lot for him to be speechless and he was indeed.

"His friends are even lying to Danni about his activities with other women. Trying to cover for him. Matt are you still there?"

The question startled him. "Yes, Mother, I’m here. What is it that you want me to do?"

"I won’t stand for any bastards in this family. Do whatever you can to correct this situation and do it soon. Why, to see your sister, she’ll be ready to deliver those babies before the summer is over. I want the name on those birth certificates to be Trivoli and not Bossard." She sniffed, trying to once again establish her dignity. "Do I make myself understood?"

"Yes, Mother. I’ll get on that right away." He heard the click on the other end and slowly lowered the phone from his ear. "Danni, what do you have yourself into now?"

He sat down at his desk and thought about the sister that he had always looked up to. She’d always been a freer spirit than Brie or he when it came to Mother’s law. Now, look at where she was, unmarried, pregnant and with a man that didn’t respect women in the least. He closed his eyes and prayed for guidance.

[faveficarchive]

Up in the Air: Part 8

Book Two of That Healing Touch Series

By K.Darblyne

Pairing: Xena/Gabrielle

Rating: Mature

Synopsis: Garrett is five months in to her fellowship, and she and Danni are trying to change the game even more, all the while strengthening their bond. 

The surgeon sat crumpled up in a ball on the armed chair in the Recovery Room. It had been a long afternoon spent in surgery and an even longer night spent by the patient’s bedside. Garrett stretched her long limbs trying to get some life back into them before getting out of the chair. She wasn’t unaccustomed to going that extra mile for her patients; in fact, she regarded it as her duty and not just a job. It was the likes unseen for some of the nurses here in this smaller hospital. Most cases of this severity would be transferred to larger better-equipped hospitals.

Wiping the sleep away from her eyes, the surgeon focused on her patient. Her groggy, sleep-filled voice broke the air. "Any change since the last time?"

"No, he’s holding his own," the efficient nurse answered as she checked the drops in the I.V. chamber. "Can I get you some coffee, Doctor?"

Garrett nodded as she continued to gradually allow the rest of her cramped body to wake up. "Thanks. Say, what time is it?"

"Why, it’s just about change of shifts, ten minutes to seven…in the morning."

‘Well, that’s one night down and only a few more to go.’ She accepted the offered cup of coffee and sipped at it slowly. ‘I wonder what today will bring with it?’

***************

The blonde nurse plodded along through another day without the sight of her dark-haired friend and already it was taking its toll on her spirit. Her steps seemed just a little less buoyant and her smile, not as quick to rise. But what it did to her work was even more obvious. She was like a taskmaster doling out the most menial jobs to herself. Everyone around her could see what she was doing, and that was to wear herself out. Perhaps, that would finally bring her sleep. She’d spent a long restless night and there were no signs of it being any different tonight.

Forced to take her lunch, Danni had ventured to the cafeteria to sustain her body with nourishment. It was there that she thought about the surgeon again, wondering if she was eating or just surviving on coffee and a quick bite here or there. Downing only a few morsels of food, the nurse made her way back to the E.R., sick to her stomach by the absence of her friend.

On her return to the E.R., her Manager, Nan, greeted Danni. "Hey, you got a message while you were at lunch."

Danni’s eyes perked up, as did her whole body. "I did?"

"Yeah, it’s on the clipboard at the charge desk."

The petite nurse’s eyes immediately looked in that direction. "Thanks, Nan." She made her way over to the desk and slipped the note out from under the clipboard mechanism; eager to see who it was from. Her thoughts were of Garrett as she unfolded the paper. "Call me tonight when you get home." The words murmured over her lips, then she looked at the name below it and her shoulders slumped as it registered. ‘Matt.’ She folded the paper and shoved it into her pocket. Just what she needed, more family members to see her in her pain.

************

The day in the rural community was not turning out too badly for the tall woman surgeon. The small but ever-busy E.R. had provided her with several cases for minor surgeries, two appendectomies and a nasty boil to be lanced at the bedside. It wasn’t much, but after not being in the O.R. everyday for several months, it was enough to keep even a surgeon of her caliber happy.

Garrett used the inside of her scrub top to wipe her face. She looked down at her watch and saw that there would be only another hour to go before her services as a Trauma Surgeon would be vanquished at 1900 by the decree of the Level Three Trauma Rating. ‘Then,’ she mused, ‘It’ll be time to hit the showers.’

Making her way back to her call room, she’d stop in and check on her patient from last night in the ICU and then the rest of the night would be hers to do with as she pleased.

************

Danni wasn’t more than a few steps inside of the house when the phone started to ring. Jumping on it as fast as she could, she lifted the receiver to her ear and spoke, "Gar?"

Taken aback by his sister’s eagerness, Matt was speechless for a moment then slowly began to speak. "Sorry, sis, it’s me, Matt."

With her hopes dashed, Danni slowly fought back the tear that was starting to roll over her lashes. "Matt, hi, I was just getting home when you called."

"I guess that Garrett is not with you." He sighed, not wanting to do this over the phone. "I was hoping to maybe talk with you both."

"Matt, I’m not sure when that could be. Ever since Gar’s ankle injury, we’ve been grounded. They’ve even loaned Garrett out to another hospital for a few days to fill in for an incapacitated surgeon. For all I know, it could be tonight or next week before we’re home together again."

His sympathy went out to his sister. ‘I wonder if that’s the truth he told her about not being at home for a while?’ "Sis, how about I drop in on Friday evening right after work. I’ll take my chances that Garrett will be there then."

"If I get a chance to talk to Gar, I will."

"Danni, are you taking care of yourself?" She felt the concern in his voice. "Mother mentioned that you were in court for something. I hope it was only to give testimony."

"Testimony on my part, but that Defense Attorney really tried to put Gar through the wringer. Thank the gods that it didn’t do any good." Danni sighed audibly. "You’re not like that are you, lil’ brother?"

Matt cleared his throat and coughed.

"Okay, I’ll let you off the hook." Danni shook her head. "Yeah I’m taking care of myself, I’m just a little lonely without Garrett being around. I’ll see you on Friday, Matt."

"Friday, then. Bye." He listened until he heard the sound of the line going dead. Man, how he hoped that his feelings about this surgeon were all wrong.

*************

David had noticed that the tall, able-bodied surgeon had been avoiding him like the plague for the last day or so. Resolving to correct the situation by confronting her, he set on a course to intercept her before she could lock herself away behind a closed call room door. After several inquiries into her whereabouts, he was able to track her down to the surgeon’s showers in the O.R. dressing area. Now, all he had to do was wait for her to emerge. Armed with a cup of coffee, the man laid claim to a leather recliner in the lounge that faced the windowed door leading to the hall outside of the dressing room and waited.

Three coffees and a stale half a donut later, the tall woman surgeon emerged with her hair still damp and shaking it to help it dry. David brought the recliner to its upright position and got up to intercept the advancing woman.

"Garrett, could I have a word with you in my office?" He looked her straight in the eye. "Now?"

She did not want to do this for fear of something that she might say. But she was on his turf and needed to play by his rules not hers. Reluctantly, she nodded her head and stepped aside waiting to follow him down the hall.

Before she knew it, they were in his office and he was taking the seat behind the desk, leaving the lone upholstered chair in front of it for her. Self-consciously, she placed her toiletry bag down next to her in the enormous chair and shifted in the seat until she felt comfortable. There was silence in the room as each one watched the other for a moment before David finally spoke.

"So, Garrett, are you enjoying your stay with us?"

The stoic woman eyed him cautiously, not at all suspecting that to be the first thing out of his mouth. It took her by surprise. "As best as can be expected."

"Good, I’m glad that I finally got the chance to see what all the fuss was about. I mean…all that PR with the Flight Surgeon Team is building you up rather strongly. You even have Danni quite impressed. Now I can see why she picked the surgeon that she did."

"What do you mean, picked the surgeon that she did?" Her eyebrow rose with the emphasis of what she said. "We were put together by the Board of Directors."

David just smiled. "You do know that she is smitten with you, don’t you?"

"Yeah, right, that’s why she’s been seeing you. You’re a pompous ass if you don’t realize it. Why do you think that I had Rosie invite you up for that weekend of the Dinner?" Garrett glared at him. "It wasn’t to keep me company."

"Pompous ass? You think that you were doing me a favor?"

"Well, somebody had to take the bull by the horns. I’m just sorry that I didn’t stay out of it. I’m the one feeling responsible now that she’s…"

David looked at her suspiciously. "Now that she’s what?"

Garrett bit her tongue. It wasn’t supposed to come out this way and surely not from her mouth. "I just think that you’d show a little more responsibility in her favor."

"Responsibility for what?" He started to get angered by her vague accusations. "What did I do…try to show her a good time, take her out and go dancing with her?"

That was it. Garrett had had enough. There would be no more beating around the bush. "You’re the one that got her in that condition and you don’t even have a clue."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"She’s pregnant." Garrett’s eyes locked into his and the icy cold of their gaze nearly froze him.

"She’s what? How could that be?" His face turned pale. "Why you don’t think that I…I had anything to do with it?"

The steel blue-gray eyes bore holes into his flesh as the lone eyebrow edged ever upward with her answer. "You’re a doctor, now what do you think?"

"Hey, I never…I never made it past her neck. How could I be the one that…" David sprang to his feet in his defense. "She told me she was…"

"What, on the pill?" Garrett now rose to her feet in defense of her friend.

"That she was a lesbian and I…"

That was all that David could get out before the large hand hauled off and struck him in the face. The smart of her knuckles grinding into the side of his face stung like crazy and it wasn’t long before the small trickle of blood came running from his nose. To say that it caught him off guard was an understatement.

Holding the side of his face, he shook his head trying to get the stars to stop spinning in front of his eyes. He wasn’t sure what had hit him, a Mack truck or the woman in front of him. David wiped his nose with his sleeve, the blood smearing across his face.

"Trivoli, you’re a fool. I don’t know what she ever saw in you to love you. I can’t believe that she could ever love you knowing that violent side exists."

"What do you mean, she loves me?"

"You heard me. She told me that herself when she was down here last month." David shook his head in disbelief. "You are a dense idiot, aren’t you? You don’t even believe it when it’s told right to your face."

"She couldn’t be…why she’s…she’s…"

"She’s in love with you. Head over heels, I might add." His voice was growing calmer and the major blow up was over. "If you don’t believe me, maybe you should ask her yourself." He watched as the tall woman worked her mouth, speechless at what had just been said.

She blinked several times as it all began to sink in.

"Surely, you must have known."

Garrett’s eyes darted around the room as the words were sinking further in. Her hands relaxed and the fists became undone. She carefully looked David in the eye and knew that there was truth in what he was speaking. It was then, that she saw the growing bruise on the side of his face and the telltale rings of discoloration around his eye. "I…" she cleared her throat. "You better get that checked out and get some ice on it." She bent down and picked up her toiletry bag from the chair. "I’m sorry." The surgeon spoke quietly then turned to leave. She needed time to think things out. Everything was just rushing at her like the wind in a hurricane.

Garrett wandered off down the hall and found herself standing in front of her call room. Producing the key from her pocket, she let herself in and sank down onto the bed. There she sat with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.

It only took a few minutes for her to feel as though the walls were closing in on her in that small room. The closer they came in her mind, the more her heart pounded, and soon she grabbed her belongings, and shoved them into the duffel bag. It was now or never, and she left the room striding, never minding to close the door. Off down the hall she bolted until she could feel the fresh air in her face as she walked out the hospital’s door.

Suddenly she found herself seated in her Blazer, staring into the night’s sky. She rolled down the driver’s window and sank down into the seat letting her headrest on the open window’s ledge. She watched the stars in the sky overhead and wondered about her own insignificant place in the workings of the universe. ‘Is this really where the fates deem me to be?’

The surgeon stayed like that for what seemed an eternity but was really only the batting of an eye in the scheme of the universe before she sat up and turned the key in the ignition to on. The powerful engine answered the call as the rough idle turned into a steady purr. She slipped it into gear and was ready to go.

************

The small blonde form lay curled up in her bed. Sleep was not as casually sought as it had once been and the lines were beginning to show on her forehead. How much longer could she go without sleep and still be able to function in her job was now her biggest concern. Perhaps a warm soak would ease the tension in her body.

Danni got up and headed to the bathroom to draw her tub. Within minutes, she was disrobed and slowly lowering her body into the soothing waters. There she lay, allowing the warmth of the water to leech out the aches and pains that had built up over the past few days. When the time had come that she could feel her eyes becoming heavy with sleep, she unstopped the bath water and reached for the large lush towel to dry off on. Raising her body up, she wrapped in the towel and proceeded to her bed.

Letting the bath towel slip from her body to the floor, she climbed in between the cool crisp sheets and found her somniferous mind to be filled with lecherous thoughts as she felt the bedding glide over her body. It was only minutes before sleep held her in its realm.

Ebbing somewhere between sleep and awake, Danni could feel the presence of another in her world and struggled to welcome it as though it had always been there, though just out of sight. Her eyes now opened to settle on the tall form standing in the doorway. The splash of back lighting from the hall kept the form in silhouette. The nurse’s body cried out with want as the form drew closer.

Before she realized it, the womanish form was next to her bed, kneeling down to get closer to her face. There, she heard the whisper that her heart had been longing for forever. In the soft tones of a voice filled with emotions, Garrett’s words came to her ear. "Danni, I love you."

The nurse reached out her small hand and cupped the cheek of her friend. "I know…I’ve known for quite sometime."

Danni stared into the soft silhouette of the face she’d gazed at in longing a hundred times before and felt the wetness of the single tear that rolled gently down its cheek. Capturing it with her thumb, she wiped it from the face and drew her nearer to her own. The long strands of hair fell loosely over her arm as the two bodies merged closer to their goal, the kiss, and the tie that would forever sustain their love.

Soft, moistened lips edged ever closer to their matched set until they touched in the firm sensual embrace that only lovers share. Their bodies were full of emotion and their souls longing to once again establish that searing energy that gave life to the spark of their passion. Each stood mesmerized in time by the other’s touch until they broke apart, gasping for the breath to continue on with their quest.

The heavily labored breathing was like a catalyst to their bodies’ desires as words rushed forward from one’s lips to the other’s ear.

"Garrett, I love you like no one else on earth."

"I want you to feel my love as it pours out of my very soul."

The surgeon lured Danni up from the bed with soft kisses that slowly pulled her to a sitting position, the covers falling away from the woman’s body. With Danni’s legs cast over the side of the bed, Garrett stood up before the nurse and straddled her lower limbs, bringing their bodies closer than before.

Reaching up under the loose fitting scrub top, the nurse let her hands roam freely over the taunt musculature of the woman before her. The soft touch made Garrett inhale deeply then exhale with the undertones of a moan in her throat as her head was thrown back to gaze at the darkened ceiling with closed eyes. The waves of sensation were coursing through her body to the point of making her weak in the knees and she felt herself come to rest against the bed. Soon she could feel the coolness of the room air on her body as the shirt was lifted over her shoulders. Lowering her body to assist with its removal over her head, Garrett found her unencumbered arms now wrapped tightly around the soft, warm body of the nurse and their lips once again finding the other’s.

The petite blonde now slipped her hands under the sides of the sports bra and slowly slid it over the fullness of breasts that it was used to support. The kiss was broken only long enough to remove the article of clothing from encumbering them any further. The excitement of skin touching skin was like an elixir to their souls and Danni sought more flesh to revel in. Untying the drawstrings of the scrub pants and loosening the material allowed it to glide smoothly down to where the surgeon’s knees rested against the bed. The only thing left now was the small amount of silky material that covered her most intimate assets. The stretchiness of the elastic in the boxers allowed for ease in their removal as first one leg was lifted and then the other stepped out of the gathering of clothes at her ankles.

The closeness of the two bodies became much like that of a dance as their presence was felt on the bed, each kneeling and leaning into the other. Hands and arms moved independently of the other as large expanses of skin were left tingling by each other’s touch. Words were at a minimum now with all of their efforts concentrated on the physical as one body rejoiced in the sensation aroused in it by the other. Danni was the first to succumb to the heady aroma as her mind became clouded with visions of passions from times long forgotten in her soul’s journey. Her body was held in Garrett’s strong arms as they laid her down into the soft bedding that nestled around her.

It was there in that warm soft cloud, that her nipples became hardened and tender to the touch of the long, sinewy fingers that plied them with caresses.

The nurse tried to form words in her mouth but with her first syllable, she heard instead the rich, soft tone of Garrett’s voice. "Not now my love. Let our actions speak for us both." And with that, the stage was set. No more words would fall between them, to be misunderstood or misconstrued, until their hearts knew what the other was feeling.

Soft kisses laced the expanse of warm flesh as each took turns with the other in this game of heightened sensual arousal. Garrett worked her way meticulously down nearly every inch of upper torso until it all had been covered. With nothing but the petite woman’s lower half left to explore, the surgeon eased her hands lower to just brush fluidly over Danni’s hips and cross over to her thighs. Immediately the alarms were going off in the young blonde’s head. Her blood pressure rising to heights never ventured as the ringing in her ears grew louder.

It was finally going to happen, and Danni found herself rejoicing in the fact that her first, last and forever lover would be none other than Garrett Trivoli.

Her body’s alarms seemed to be going off consistently with a pattern of their own, not keeping beat with the passion that the two were moving with. Deep within the realm of her subconscious mind, Danni recognized the noise and found her right hand leaving the warm, sweaty body of her lover to reach for the phone on the nightstand. Tempered with the reality of their almost continuous state of being on-call for emergencies, Danni brought the phone to her ear.

The dead silence on the other end threw her until she heard the start of slow rhythmic breathing that became heavy at times and startled her. Opening her eyes, she stared out into the blackness of the room and realized that she was alone with the covers wrapped tightly around her. She could feel her body still pulsating from the touch of her invisible lover and felt cheated by the sound of the raspy breathing on the other end. Staring into the phone she found herself angered and on the verge of tears. "Like I really needed this phone call right now. Let me tell you, buddy, you’re way too late." Her words were sharp and she could feel the tears streaming down her face as she slammed the receiver onto the cradle of the phone.

"Damn it anyway. Garrett, where are you?" The young woman’s voice sounded out into the night with anguish. "I need you."

Rolling over Danni hugged at her pillow and cried herself to sleep.

***********

Garrett rolled back into her parking space just a little before her time to come on shift. She’d spent the night driving and thinking about what David had said to her the evening before. Her only stop during the last nine hours had been at an all night coffee shop on the highway where she sat and drank down several cups of the warming liquid.

If David was right, and Garrett’s own emerging feelings were true, the surgeon felt like she had wasted a year of time by not allowing Danni to get closer than she had. How could she approach her now with only a few short weeks left and offer her love? She couldn’t, it wouldn’t be fair to either one of them.

The surgeon had already made a commitment over the phone with a hospital that was across the country in Arizona. She’d followed her plan and finagled her best offer into one of truly stellar proportions. It would be impossible to carry on a relationship of any kind that far away from one another. Besides, all of Danni’s family and friends were here in the ‘Burgh. How could she ask her to give them all up just to be with her?

It seemed like the fates had already decided what would happen and there was nothing that she could do about it. ‘Well, at least it’s not like we’re lovers or such.’ "She’ll forget me after I’m gone." Garrett thought about the friendly, outgoing nurse. ‘The question is, will I ever forget her?’ And deep in her heart, the surgeon knew the answer, never. Not for as long as she breathed would she forget the kindness of the young woman’s soul to have shown her the warmness of friendship and the comfort of love.

With a new mindset, Garrett Trivoli emerged from that night to cherish the rest of her time with the young nurse, Danni Bossard, for she would never know when the next time would come that she would be graced with her company might come along. She vowed to herself, more than anything, to be able to carry her always within the realms of her heart.

***************

The days moved swiftly now as each worked long, tedious hours until the day arrived that Garrett was no longer needed to help out. The few days spent in David’s company had been more than enlightening. The slightly chubby teddy bear of a man showed her all of the grace and charm that a well-schooled host could offer his guests. It would have been easy for him to turn on her with anger, but he didn’t, and instead explained his well-defined black eye as one being received by a delirious and wildly swinging patient under his care. He had no intent to single her out, but instead felt for the woman as she was coming to terms with her life.

As she left that last day, David had offered his hand in friendship and meant it. Garrett took it and thanked him for his understanding of her beleaguered soul. He would be the first of many that she would need to say good-bye to. With some, it would not be as difficult but with others, she dreaded the day that was coming.

Her time had been short in this rural community but she had learned a few valuable lessons, ones that she would never forget. And with that, she got into her Blazer and headed back to Pittsburgh.

*************

Danni waited patiently for her roommate to arrive home. She’d gotten word through Dr. McMurray that the Flight team would be back in service for the Memorial Day Weekend. Delighted by the thought, she readied for their first flight together again as a team. With the end of the work day fast approaching and no sight of the large stoic surgeon, she gathered up her gear and headed home to where she hoped one tall, dark and dreadfully missed surgeon would be waiting to see her face.

Pulling into the parking space outside her house, Danni got out of her Malibu and scoured the street for the familiar black, full-size Blazer. It was not there. Perhaps she had run into a late surgery or had trouble on the road. The nurse’s mind thought for a minute to use the number of her cell phone but thought that it might seem too needy on her account. Walking up the steps to her front door, Danni paused and looked one last time up and down the street, but there was nothing. She entered the door and pulled it tightly closed behind her.

Her routine was running its normal pattern as she shuffled through the mail and sorted it out. It was an easy sort as everything was for her except one lone envelope addressed to Dr. Garrett Trivoli, M.D. She looked at the envelope curiously, as it was not the first from that same place. "Arizona, huh?" Danni tapped it on the palm of her hand. "They must be eager to entice her." She laid the letter on Garrett’s side of the desk and went on to her next chore, dinner.

Moving into the kitchen, Danni made herself a large salad for dinner and pulled out a chair to sit down and eat it. Her attention was distracted by the sound of someone trying the front door. With a surge of anticipation a mile long, Danni sprinted for the door, convinced that it was her missing roommate. Pulling the door open, Danni was surprised to see the figure of her brother poised to knock on the door. "Gar…Matt?" The look on her face was one of utter disappointment. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Sis! Nice to see you too." He said sheepishly.

"Oh, Matt, sorry, I forgot you were coming." She pulled the door wide open and welcomed him in. "Come on, let me get you something to drink. Have a seat and I’ll be right in."

Matt did so and took a seat in the first available chair. He watched as his sister went out on the doorstep and looked up and down the street for the familiar vehicle. Not having seen it, she came back in and closed the door.

"Water, juice, beer, wine?" she asked him as she breezed in toward the kitchen.

"A beer would be fine, Danni. It will help me to unwind."

"So, what’s so important that you need to come here to see me and to meet Garrett?" Danni yelled in from the kitchen. "Is mother in a snit about something?" She decided to play dumb and not acknowledge the letter she had received.

"Well, Sis," he took the beer and opened it. "Mother wanted me to check out this Garrett and make sure that you were being well taken care off." He eyed her rather flat stomach as she walked past him and thought about the possibilities. "How have you been feeling lately? I mean…nothing to put you into the hospital for?" He’d hoped that she would not be foolish enough to use some scumbag wannabe doctor to do an abortion.

Danni sat down on the couch and interlaced the fingers of her hands on her knee. "Now Matt, it’s just you and me here. Tell me what this is all about?"

"Mother seems to think that you are…or were…pregnant." He grimaced. "She even thinks that it was with twins, by Garrett of course."

Danni burst out laughing. "Me, pregnant?" She shook her head. "The woman is delusional, I’m still a virgin." The red blush started up her face with that statement.

"Well, you know Mother. It only takes one thing to get her going off on a tangent."

"And I bet that one thing was Brie."

"Well, Danni, you did give a few of us the idea."

"When, and how?" She was curious now more than angry.

"Let’s face it, Danni, you refused your wine at Christmas dinner, you took naps with Gunny and you were queasy when breakfast rolled around that next morning." He shrugged. "I even gave it a thought in the back of my mind."

"Why didn’t you just ask me? I would have told you."

"Hey, it was a holiday. Do I have to be a lawyer all the time?" They both chuckled at the thought.

"So why are you investigating this now?"

"Well, by Mother and Brie’s recollections, your phone conversations have been…" he cleared his throat, "rather explicit of what you and Garrett are doing in your time together."

"Huh?" Danni’s brow furrowed with concern. "I don’t understand. They asked me what was going on and I told them about our helicopter flights."

Matt tried hard not to laugh. "Well, do you remember telling Mother about you knowing how to watch out for ‘a spinning tail rotor’? Or that you and Garrett had been up and down so many times that it was taking up all your sleeping time?"

Danni put her face in her hands, embarrassed by what her mother had thought she was saying. "Oh, Mother!" The blonde blew out a long breath. "Okay, stop, I understand now." Then she looked up into Matt’s eyes. "But why does she think that I’m having twins?" Danni motioned toward her non-existent stomach full of twins.

"Mother said that she heard Garrett talking about not being able to wait until the twins would get here."

"Why would Garrett talk about twins? The only twins that we know of are Rene’s…" Danni stopped dead in her sentence. "Oh, good God. Mother heard Dr. Chabot talking about his twins. I bet that was the day that I thought I saw someone that reminded me of Mother at the hospital. That was the day that Gar lent him the Flight Suit." Danni shook her head in disbelief. "Okay, I can understand the twins now." She started to calm down.

"Don’t you think that it’s kind of funny?" Matt looked at her. "In an odd sort of way."

"Yes." They both lost it laughing at the misconception of the events in question. Only Mother would be able to pull that one off.

Danni thought for a moment and then decided to test the waters a little. "Matt, do you believe that every one has someone out there for them?"

"Gee, Sis, I sure hope so. Why, have you found your someone?"

"I think that I just might have."

He searched her face looking for some clue. "It’s Gar, isn’t it?"

Danni closed her eyes and nodded her head. She bit at her lip and then continued. "Matt, Garrett is a…"

"Hey, I’m home." The sound of the voice was all that Danni needed. She jumped up from the couch, moving toward the door and the figure that was coming in through it, setting down her duffel bag on the floor.

Grabbing the big hand in her small one, Danni pulled the lumbering surgeon over in the direction of her brother. "Matt, I’d like you to meet Garrett Trivoli. Gar, this is my brother, Matt." The blonde beamed with pride at the introduction of the two.

Caught off guard, Garrett offered her hand and smiled politely. "Hi, Matt. It’s nice to meet you." Her lopsided smile then came shining through as her eyes moved between the two. "Yeah, I can see the resemblance."

This last observation definitely broke the ice as Matt now returned the smile and stuck out his hand. "Nice to finally meet you, Dr. Trivoli."

"You can call me, Gar."

"Gar, then." He watched the change in his sister and knew what she was about to say when they had been interrupted. "So, you and my sister are…friends. I’m glad that someone is keeping an eye on her here in the big city." He winked and started to laugh. He liked the tall woman and decided that what he saw in his sister was nothing but pure love. A love like he had never seen her have before. Anything that could bring that to her was worth its weight in gold, or at least his friendship.

The visit by Danni’s brother went on into the evening with food being ordered in and laughter shared among all three. The time spent learning about his sister and her friend was nice and he hated to leave but all good things must come to an end. With another firm handshake and a kiss from his older sister, Matt was out the door and on his way home.

At the first red light away from his sister’s house, Matt opened up his cell phone and hit the key for his mother’s phone. He waited the customary rings and then the answering machine picked up for the leaving of a message. At the sound of the beep, he started. "Mother, I’ve cleared up that situation with Danni. There will be no bastards for you to worry about since Danni was never really pregnant. I’ve talked at great length with Garrett and I’m assured that the surgeon has nothing but the best at heart for your daughter." He thought for a moment, then closed his cell phone, terminating the call.

"There you go Danni. That should give you some more time to reel that surgeon in." Matt smiled at the thought of his sister happy at last as he pulled away from the changing light.

Chapter 12

The petite blonde marveled at how warm the days were becoming. The golden rays of the soon to be summer sun bathed everything in its path with its gentle warmth. Danni was even wondering if it wasn’t having some kind of effect on the Flight Surgeon as well. Ever since their time spent apart, she noticed that Garrett was warmer, and friendlier than before, at least to her. It wasn’t by any great leaps or bounds but by the simple, little things that she did that made her almost like a new person, one that truly loved and was ready to be loved.

The nurse had noticed it first in the often-lingering touch whenever their hands would reach for the same thing. The tenacious touch of their flesh was like a burning ember searing across their hearts. The excitement of their souls stimulated the flesh like nothing else could on earth. More and more it seemed that there was reason to touch or look at one another. Was it that they each knew what was in the other’s heart, or was it some long forgotten feelings that lured them to be together? Danni wished that she knew for sure.

Each time that a new day dawned, the nurse felt more love and contentment than she ever imagined existed. It was becoming a little overwhelming, even to her. She never looked for love in the people she'd come in contact with each new staff year; she just wanted to extend a hand of friendship to them for the time that they were here. What happened with this one?

Danni closed her eyes and let her memory relive the time that she had first seen the tall, raven-haired woman come barreling in through those E.R. front doors. 'I thought she was a Medical Student off on her first Trauma page. Boy, was I ever wrong.'

The nurse opened her eyes to see the profile of the woman in question across from her as they readied to take off on another flight. It was time to get her mind back to work and the job that they would soon be doing, together as a team.

The surgeon leaned back in her seat and looked at the nurse as she finished her last checklist. She would miss being this close to the woman who had opened her eyes to the world around her. There would never be anyone who could take her place, whether it be next to her, or deep in her heart. Garrett was glad that she was making every effort to enjoy Danni’s company until their time was up. She’d have to live on those memories for God knows how long. ‘Who knows, maybe if the job in Arizona isn’t as good as I’d like it to be…’ The surgeon sighed, closing her eyes to the pain. ‘Who’s to say that she’d want to give it a try. I wasn’t that easy to get along with this time around.’ Somehow, Garrett knew that she would survive. She’d just throw herself into the job like she did with everything else. ‘Too bad Danni wasn’t the job.’

It was time to get back to the present. The surgeon reasoned that she would have the rest of her life to think about Danni. She noticed the small blonde looking at her. "What?"

"Are you ready?" Danni teased her with a beguiling smile.

‘Oh, Danni, if you only knew what that smile of yours does to me.’ "Yeah," the surgeon stuck her thumb up as she made a fist, "I’m ready for whatever comes my way today."

Danni raised her fist with the thumb extended and side by side, they gave the signal. Cowboy turned to look over his right shoulder and smiled cordially as he mimicked them with his own thumbs up sign.

*************

It was a short flight, but a flight none the less, as they landed outside the series of two story buildings. The landing zone had been prearranged and within close proximity to the drill site on the athletic field for the scheduled afternoon display of modern rescue practices. The publicity was always good for the program, not to mention driving home the idea of summer safety to the masses of teens, all in the possession of a new driver’s license. The idea had been Danni’s, and the surgeon was glad that McMurray had gone along with it. She’d rather meet these teens this way than on some lonely stretch of road, traumatized to no end. If it made a difference in saving even one life it would be worth the time and effort.

This was the first of several live demos that the Flight Team would be involved in, and the nervous jitters were evident on Danni. Her constant talking and fiddling with the equipment was finally starting to get to Garrett when the ship touched down. The surgeon watched the woman next to her go from nervous to self-confident in less than a minute. It was show time and Danni was prepared to drive her message home about safety to the gathered assembly of teens.

"You ready for this?" Danni looked at the Flight Surgeon.

"Yeah, just like any other flight we’ve had." That settling lopsided smile crossed her face. "It’s simply a meet and greet for me." Garrett winked at Danni.

"Well, ladies, it’s show time." Cowboy announced as he let the rotors spin down. "Just go out there and have some fun." He winked and gave them a thumbs-up sign. It was clear to go.

With a quick tug of her safety belt, the surgeon was out of her seat and unlocking the door. Danni took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. It was all up to her, now. This was her show and Gar was just the icing on the cake. The young woman pushed off, out of her seat and stood next to the surgeon. With the ease of her strong arms, Garrett had opened the door, stepped down onto the ground, and held out her hand for Danni to join her.

The pre-arranged drill was to be a simple one. The local Fire and EMS Services would provide the actual rescue scenario reenactment and the Flight Team would land, accept hand-off of the patient, load and take off for a brief spin of the athletic field. After the fly by, the helicopter would once again land, allowing the mock patient to get back to his or her everyday life and then it was Danni’s turn to address the student body seated in the stands. All told, they should be on the ground for no more than thirty to forty minutes. It was a well-planned program.

Everything had clicked and ran smoothly as planned. The person who had been the mock patient was thrilled by his flight in the helicopter, not to mention being attended to by the likes of two beautiful women. The heart of a seventeen-year-old male was easy to win, especially in such close quarters. They had landed and now the young man was the hero of his class as he paraded triumphantly off the field and into their ranks. All three members of the crew stood watching as he was met by whooping and hollering, each one thinking how excited the young man was over something that they did every day. Oh, the pleasures of youth.

As the revelry in the stands was meeting its crescendo, the odd procession of nurse, surgeon, and pilot made their way to the small stage that had been constructed on the field. It was planned that they all would be introduced to the students in an effort to show that although not all of them were medically trained, they worked as a team to deliver the patient the best of their care. It was the dream of every Guidance Counselor to show that people in everyday walks of life could make a difference to more than just themselves. The Flight Team stood on stage and waited for their names to be called as they watched the group of cheering students in the stands.

Garrett looked around the field and the days of her youth soon flooded her mind. She’d only played soccer for one season but she could still remember how it felt to come running onto the field with her parents and brother in the open-ended stands, cheering her on. 'God, what I wouldn't give for just one more day with them?'

Her attention was grabbed by the nudge she received, and the whispered command to wave as her name had just been announced. The surgeon stepped forward and obliged, then turning her attention to Danni, she waited for the young woman to deliver her speech.

The petite blonde stepped up to the microphone; she let her eyes scan over the students and teachers who were assembled there. All eyes were on her as she began. "I’m happy to say that our services were not needed here today but that doesn’t mean that safety is something to be taken for granted. Each time that any of you slide in behind that steering wheel, you hold more than just your own life in your hands."

Garrett watched the nurse intently, letting her senses drink in all that they could. She loved the way Danni could speak to the whole-assembled group but yet make each one feel as though they were the only one she was talking to. It was as if they had suddenly all become part of her menagerie. She was concerned about them and it showed. Now, it was the surgeon who was proud to be on the nurse’s team. This she could tell by the smile stretching across her face, the likes of which she’d never felt before.

Lost in a dream world of what might have been, Garrett stood mesmerized by the young woman. It was then that Cowboy leaned in and whispered in the tall woman’s ear. "Wonder what she’s looking at?"

The surgeon’s thought pattern was broken and she now studied the face of her friend. Danni’s furrowed brow showed more concern than Garrett thought necessary and she began looking up in the direction of Danni’s gaze. It was at that precise moment the mock patient of just a few minutes ago fell from the side of the stands, landing with a thud; followed by the gasps followed by the students around him. Before Garrett could react, Danni was asking in the most calm and reassuring voice for Cowboy to step up to the microphone and tell the group a little about the helicopter.

The pilot stood there, wide-eyed and in shock. ‘Hey, that’s not part of the routine,’ he thought as he watched both of his team members step off the stage and break into a run toward the bleachers. ‘What the heck?’ Then Cowboy saw the commotion to the left of the bleachers and realized that he had been handed the most important part: to keep everyone calm and out of the way of the medical personnel. He hurriedly stepped up to the microphone and began to speak. "Well, let me tell you what this little baby can do if you really need to get somewhere in a hurry." He laughed and pulled out from his memory any story that he could think of to hold the students’ attention.

The Flight suited pair came up to the victim within seconds. The commanding tones of the surgeon parted the crowd of onlookers as they made their way to the young man who was being attended to by several of his instructors. The angle of his arm and the spattering of blood on the ground about his head were enough for the surgeon to know the severity of the fall. She determined his point of impact to be first the arm and that fractured under the stress. His head then took the remainder of the force associated with the fall.

"Okay, everybody step back. Please, give us some room to work." Garrett announced as she made the final steps to her now-real patient. "Danni, you’ve got the head until someone from EMS gets here." She glanced at his chest and watched for the rise and fall of it. "He's still breathing on his own."

The nurse slipped in behind her and steadied the patient's head with her gloved hands, protecting him from any further injury due to a traumatized spine. "Has someone called for EMS?"

One teacher stepped forward in answer to her question. "Yes, I sent one of the student's over to their vehicle. Is Richie going to be alright?"

Blue eyes met with green and the exchange of thoughts was done. Danni spoke calmly as the surgeon continued with her assessment of the patient. "We're going to do the best we can for him."

By the time that Garrett had made her initial assessment, the EMS personnel arrived with their equipment. She was quick in directing them in the patient’s care. After a fast splinting of the arm and the further protecting of his cervical spine with a collar in place, their next priority was to get him onto a backboard and packaged for transport via helicopter. Danni kept a constant vigil over the young man's vital signs, reporting any of her concerns to the Flight Surgeon.

With the patient strapped onto the board, Garrett did one last round of neurological checks. After clapping her large hands together in front of his face, she yelled out his name as she bent closer to his ear. "Richie…Richie can you hear me." She paused for a brief moment, seeing no sign of reaction to the noise or to his name, the surgeon moved on to the next evaluation of his status. Taking her thumbs, she found the small-notched bone in the supraorbital rim. Pushing on it to elicit pain, she waited for a reaction of any sort. 'Come on, blink…open up those eyes.' But again, nothing happened.

"Gar, his respirations are becoming a bit labored." The nurse cautioned.

Garrett nodded and continued on in her quest as she placed her fingers in his uninjured hand. "Richie, squeeze my fingers if you hear me." She repeated herself but again there was no response. "Damn it, Richie, move something." Her frustration was getting the better of her as she thought about the reaction of the parents once they found out the severity of their son's accident. Only a few moments ago, she had been wishing to spend one more day with her parents. How could she let him not have that and more now? Making a fist, the surgeon roughly ran her knuckles up and down his sternum in the middle of his chest much like the washboards of early twentieth century. It was a painful experience for someone who had sensation, but again, the young man was motionless to it all.

"How's his breathing, Danni?"

"It's becoming more labored as we speak." She assessed her monitor. "His heart rate is up in the 120's. He's cool and clammy to the touch."

"Neurogenic shock." Garrett looked to the EMS providers now. "Do you have intubation equipment?"

The young woman nodded eagerly, "Yeah, Doc. Right here."

"Good, then let's get him intubated before we load him into the ship." She walked to the head of the stretcher and accepted the offered equipment. "Danni, can you give me a little pressure over the cricoid, please?" She opened the laryngoscope and positioned it in her hand. Then she slid the blunt straight blade of the scope into her patient's slightly agape mouth and followed the tongue to the back of his throat using the instrument to prevent his tongue from dropping into her view. The tiny but bright fiberoptic bulb lit her way into the darkened region of his throat as she searched for his vocal cords and where to place the tube for his breathing.

"Press a little harder, Danni. That's it, I see them. Give me the tube."

The size seven and a half endotracheal tube was pushed into her hand after having been approved by the nurse who made sure the small retention cuff on the end worked. Taking it, Garrett inserted it through the cords and into the trachea, letting the blade slip out of the patient's mouth, then pulled out the stylet that was used to hold the flexible plastic tube’s shape as it was inserted. The surgeon held on firmly to the tube so as not to lose her placement of it as Danni inflated the small retention cuff once more only this time to hold it in place. "Okay, let's bag him. Danni listen for his breath sounds."

A roll of tape was quickly produced from the EMS provider and the end of it was hastily wrapped around the tube protruding out of the patient's mouth. Danni slipped the earpieces into place and positioned the bell of the stethoscope over the patient's chest. Listening for a moment, she moved the instrument from one side to the other, then to the upper most abdominal region.

"Lungs sound good, equal and clear bilaterally." She pulled back from the patient and looked at her friend. "Finish the securing and we're ready to go."

Garrett nodded in agreement as she held the tube with one hand and squeezed the plastic bag with the other, delivering air into his lungs. "Danni, run ahead and have Cowboy get the ride ready for us. Tell him he's done a good job so far." The surgeon motioned to the stands of interested students mesmerized by what they were hearing. "We'll start out to the ship while you do that."

"Will do, Doc." The nurse took off on her mission while Garrett directed the EMS personnel to deliver their patient without delay.

As she got closer to the small stage, Danni could hear what the pilot was saying and tried to keep from laughing as she recognized the story of her first flight. She waved to get his attention, then motioned to the helicopter.

He understood what she wanted and just as calmly as the podium was handed over to him, he ended his story, thanking the students for their attention. It was his turn to jump into action as he made his way for the craft and started his checklist for take off.

The nurse caught up with him as she opened the back door and readied for the oncoming patient by getting her helmet on. "We'll need a fast lift off, Cowboy. It doesn't look good for the patient. We need to get him to the Trauma Room, STAT." The pilot nodded and continued with his routine.

With the patient loaded and the surgeon boarding the ship, the pilot made sure that no others were near the blades as he readied to throw them into action. Once seated and buckled in, Garrett checked for Danni's safety belt and gave Cowboy the thumbs up for take off. The surgeon was concerned for her patient and needed additional testing to determine whether the head injury or perhaps an injury to his spine was causing his deteriorating condition. The faster that they could determine this, the better his prognosis would be.

The sound of the whirring rotors cranking up to speed signified their fast approaching take off and soon they were in the air, speeding toward the hospital that they had left no more than an hour ago. This time the patient was for real and in a life or death situation.

***************

Only a few minutes had passed since they handed off their patient to the Trauma Team when the X-ray images started to appear on the view. The surgeon studied them and sighed. The bones in his neck where not in perfect alignment and suspicion was high for a cervical spine injury from his fall. That finding could attest to his lack of movement and labored breathing alone. But until she saw the CT Scan of his head, Garrett would not put all her coins on that single injury as the cause of his problems.

She stood back from the viewer after examining the chest X-ray, content that there was no underlying problem there and that the placement of her intubation tube was correct. Sensing the presence of someone behind her, Garrett turned and commented. "Nice job with that speech. I don’t think anyone outside of that area knew that there was a real emergency going on when you handed it off to Cowboy. Nice idea to get him involved." She shook her head and smiled sadly. "I'm going to miss that after the end of the month."

Danni looked at her funny. "I don't understand."

"I've a…" the surgeon turned her attention back to the viewer, "accepted a position at a hospital in Arizona. I'll be working there next month." The surgeon felt the sting of tears at her eyelids as she closed them to hide the pain. "I guess I didn't quite know how to tell you."

The Flight Nurse stood there somewhat in shock. The thing she thought that she was prepared for was finally said and she realized that she wasn't ready for it. She'd never really be ready for it as far as she was concerned. "Oh." The word fell out of her mouth like a whisper. This was something that she didn't want to hear and surely didn't want to accept. Danni chose denial and, to the best of her ability, that's what she would do until there was no more time to deny it and she'd have to accept reality. Garrett would be gone from her life and, more than likely, from her world.

"I…I’d better replace the supplies that we used." Danni turned and walked away, not wanting to show her feelings to anyone, especially to the surgeon herself.

Garrett let her head tip downward and sighed. She knew that she had just dealt a blow to her friend. ‘She’ll just have to understand that it’s for the best…’ then she turned and watched the young nurse walk away, ‘for her best.’ She hated causing Danni any pain but some things couldn’t be helped. ‘It’s better this way than if….’ No, she didn’t want to think of anything that could possibly hurt her friend anymore.

Realizing the nurse’s need to walk away, the surgeon immersed herself into the X-rays displayed on the viewer once more, content that she was doing what was right for all of them.

************

The time was flying by quickly now as Danni began to count the days she had left with the tall surgeon. Vowing not to let even a minute go by without some sort of contact with the woman, the nurse got ready to spend the day lost in the fun of a picnic with her friend. No, it wasn’t the kind where a simple blanket and food would be all that was needed besides each other, but instead it would involve games, contests and a large group of people. People who were there for one reason, they were all lone survivors. It was one of the things that Garrett had planned when she was off healing her ankle injury.

When Danni had first heard the surgeon’s idea, she wasn’t sure that it would be a good thing for the group to do. But now, faced with the fact that in a few days she too would be a member of their ranks, in spirit then not in reality. It made it all that more apparent to her that she needed this time with the surgeon. She needed to bank away all of the sunshine and good times that she could before the gray and lonely days would overrun her life. And with that in mind, the petite nurse got out of her bed and met the day head on with only positive thoughts involving one raven-haired woman.

*************

Garrett’s choice of North Park was a good one. She’d reserved the flat area around the Boat House for the group to use. The activities that it afforded in close proximity were numerous and would meet with everyone’s approval.

The day had started early with Danni and Garrett arriving ready to set up the areas for fun. After that was done, they had time to spare before the first members of the group would arrive. It was then that the two women let the spark of adolescence light up their eyes and take off running for the swings. It wasn’t more than a minute before the long legs of the surgeon could be seen kicking off the backward stroke of the swing as she strove to go higher. Like two children out for a day of fun, their laughter could be heard as they giggled and talked back and forth.

"Gar, did you ever have a really good friend when you were growing up? I mean, besides your brother."

The surgeon didn’t need time to think. The answer was easy. "No, why?"

Danni shrugged her shoulders as she let the swing glide down of its own accord. "I was just wondering."

Garrett’s swing swooshed past the nurse’s in the opposite direction and her body leaned back with her head almost upside down to watch her friend. "How about you?"

"No," the blonde shook her head. "Mother would never allow it. Gar, why don’t we make believe that for just today we’re kids again? You know…do all the things that we missed out on doing with a close friend growing up." ‘Please, Gar, let me remember you as that close friend.’ Danni’s eyes pleaded her case.

Slowing, the surgeon brought her swing to a stop and sat there dangling on the seat as the chains jingled back and forth. The raven-haired woman took on a shy smile and nodded. "I think I’d like that."

And so the theme for the day was set by the words on their lips. Each one acting more like a big child than they would ever care to admit. From going out on the paddleboats, playing volleyball, to running as a team in the three-legged race they spent their time together. Then, when it came to tossing raw eggs back and forth until they finally broke, they were teens trapped inside the bodies of women, enjoying the day, the sun, and their time together as if nothing else mattered. It was a day that each one would remember for a long time.

Then without warning the laughter all came to a crashing halt. While waiting in the food line for their dinner, Diana Morgan had asked the question that Danni didn’t need to hear.

"So, Dr. Trivoli, will you be staying with us?" Diana waited hopefully for the answer. She didn’t want to think of losing another member of her growing pseudo family this soon. The young girl had come to look up to the surgeon for the caring way she handled the delicate situation when her family had been so devastatingly snatched from her.

The surgeon stopped short, her face became serious, as all she could do was shake her head, not wanting to ruin the day for either Danni or herself by saying what they both already knew but chose not to think about.

"Oh, I see," was Diana’s muted reply, "well, I’m glad that you’re with us today."

Garrett agreed and turned to see Danni become pale and nervous looking. Without a warning, the nurse swallowed hard and found herself needing to walk away before the tears sprang forth. "I…left something in the car. I’ll be back." Then she was gone.

She just couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to know what was going to happen. Danni just prayed that she’d be able to live through it.

In a few minutes, the nurse was able to cope once again as the rest of the day drew to a close. It would be a memory-filled time for them both to reminisce about.

**************

Everything was dwindling down to the last in a series of things for the women. First it was their last ride into work together that started off the day, then their last mid morning coffee, and their last slow wait through the express line in the cafeteria for lunch. Then, on their way home from work, it was the last take-out pizza dinner that they’d pick up. Now in the hours slowly ticking by, they waited for their last call out and emergency flight. Each one wanted just once more to remember their time as a team but not really wanting to wish misfortune on anyone.

Just when it looked as if it was over, the pager went off, startling them both from the late night news broadcast that they were watching. Danni jumped up, and ran for the bathroom as Garrett got the message from the pager. "MVA with multiple victims."

The surgeon flipped her cellphone to her ear as she pressed the speed dial to the Command Center. "Trivoli here." She listened for a minute then ended the conversation. "We’re on our way with a ten minute ETA to the helipad."

**************

The ride both by automobile and helicopter was quick and they were soon circling for the descent to the designated landing zone. The fly by over the accident scene showed the severity of the crash. They were able to make out the form of a vehicle in pieces as the impact with the utility pole had split it in two. Off to the other side of the road was another vehicle with its front end smashed and flipped onto its roof.

Danni shook her head in disbelief. "Can you image that?"

"Looks like we’ll have our work cut out for us down there." The surgeon sighed and mentally prepared herself for being the triage person who would decide which patient would be given a chance at life and who would be beyond help. "Cowboy, are there more choppers being sent to this scene?"

"That’s an affirmative, Doc." He looked into the rear compartment. "We doing a load and go?"

"No, I’ll have to triage and take the last one out."

"Gotcha, I’ll park us in the farthest slot." He turned his eyes back to the ground below as he picked out his spot. "I wonder if that was a wedding limo down there. What do you think?"

"No, there’s different colors to the clothing. My guess is that it was Prom Night." The blonde’s face was filled with emotion as she remembered the numerous Proms that she had attended at the hand of her mother. "They were probably having the time of their lives and now look at where they are, just trying to stay alive."

"Get us down there, Cowboy, and we’ll see what we can do." Garrett picked up on the melancholy in Danni’s voice.

**************

The Scene Commander had explained the accident as another result of drunk driving at its best. The car on its roof had been traveling at a high rate of speed and went airborne when it crested the rise of the hill. The Limousine driver saw the hurtling car coming in his direction and stepped on the gas to get out of its way. That’s when he lost control and went broadside into the utility pole.

Garrett surveyed the scene of rescuers as they worked to meet the needs of all the patients. The team first took note of the patients that they could easily access as they made their way to the very open rear half of the limo. None of them had been wearing seatbelts as the array of bodies intertwined one with the other was evident. There were six in all; only two of which had been backboarded and collared as of yet. Danni and Garrett each stopped by one of them and did a quick assessment of their injuries and condition in general. Each one had some broken bones but was stable enough for a quick transport to the hospital without any other medical intervention. Their I.V.’s were checked for infiltration and drip flow and then they moved on to the next in the long line of patients.

Two more helicopters filled the air and made Danni feel a little relief at the thought of getting them all to the care of an awaiting Trauma Team. There was only so much that she and Garrett could do in the field and right now, their resources were stretched to the limit. The nurse met the incoming Flight Crews and directed the patient flow out of the scene as deemed by the surgeon. Within minutes, the two packaged patients were loaded into the helicopters and on their way to definitive care. Danni turned around to find out where Garrett was and headed for her.

The surgeon stood over a young woman who had been closest to the point of impact. The patient’s shallow, gasping breaths were a sure sign of fractured ribs. Garrett’s concern for her breathing and the fact that the impact had already broken bones, made her more worried of the possible spinal involvement, too. It was certain that this patient needed to be flown out next.

The surgeon looked over her shoulder as Danni approached. "This one goes next," she directed the nurse. Garrett watched as her team member nodded in understanding.

The nurse turned her eyes to the heavens and looked for the next helicopter to start its descent. Knowing that it would be a few minutes for it to land, Danni turned her attention back to the patient and monitored her condition.

"GAR!" The cry came out as the nurse lifted her stethoscope from the patient’s chest. "Her pneumothorax is getting bigger by the minute. I think she needs a chest tube fast."

The surgeon’s attention was split now. "Danni, we don’t have that ability out here. Besides," Garrett looked up from the patient that she was getting ready to intubate, "I’m needed here first. You’ll have to needle it and use the tip of a glove for a flutter valve."

"But I’ve never…"

"You’ve watched me do it a couple of times. I’ll talk you through it. You’ll do just fine."

The nurse nodded her head. "Okay, I’ll try."

"You’ll do it." The order was given in no uncertain terms. "Now get an 18 gauge needle and cut off the finger of a glove. Insert the needle down through the tip of the glove."

"Okay, done."

"Now find the fourth intercostal space on the affected side of the chest." The surgeon paused until Danni had found it. "Give me some suction here. You got that tube ready?" She asked the ambulance member that was assisting her in the intubation.

"Did you find it, Danni?"

"Yeah, found it."

"Good, now pass the needle just over top of the rib and insert it into the chest wall at the midline of that side, parallel with the nipple." She picked up the laryngoscope and opened it. "You’ll know that you’re deep enough when you hear the trapped air escaping out of the make shift flutter valve." Inserting the tube into the mouth of the patient that she was working on, she continued to guide her team member. "Once you’ve got it in place, tape it down."

Danni offered up a prayer on both her and the patient’s behalf and did what she was told. "PHSSSSSSSSST!" The rush of air escaped and she breathed a sigh of relief. "Got it, Gar."

"Good, I knew you could do it." The surgeon pulled back the stylet as she held the endotube in place. "Now secure it." She directed to both Danni and her help mate in the intubation. "Give her a minute and she should be breathing easier." Garrett looked over to the nurse and beamed with pride in the woman, then resumed her ministrations to the patient before her.

Danni smiled with confidence at what she had done. It was just one more time that proved how well the surgeon and the nurse worked together.

Now, with their patients handed off to the next two Flight Crews, Garrett and Danni pushed on to the last two remaining teens. Their injuries were not that devastating but the emotional drama that they had been witnesses to was taking its toll. The surgeon assessed their physical conditions while Danni took care of the emotional support that they needed.

It absolutely tore at the young nurse’s heart to see the effect of emotional carnage that the one young man was displaying. His wild-eyed, frenzied look was enough to show that this night would be forever locked in his memory to haunt him when he would least expect it.

Danni sat next to him and held his hand, talking to him and comforting him as only she could do. Healing was not always done with medicine, especially when it came to the emotions of trauma. It took a while, but her soft voice and concern for him and his friends soon soothed the young man enough to allow him to be loaded on the next helicopter and transported to where his friends had been taken.

Garrett, on the other hand, had been plagued by the non-stop questioning of the teenager in her care. His constant need to know what happened only attested to his evident head injury, along with his being amnesic to the event of the crash. The surgeon maintained an even keel in her attitude for the first one hundred times that she heard the same question. It was somewhere during the second hundred times that her level of irritation became noticeable. That was just about the time that Danni came to her rescue having handed her patient over to the first arriving Flight Crew.

"I’ll take care of him, Gar. Why don’t you go check out the one in the car?" The nurse motioned to the overturned car that the rescue people were working on.

"Thanks, Danni." The surgeon looked relieved as she got up and started to walk toward the ongoing rescue attempt.

Just as she made it to the outer circle of rescuers, the lifeless body of the driver was released from the car. His injuries were numerous and his skin had already taken on that ashen-gray look of death. Once Garrett was able to look down at his body, she knew the outcome of the night. The odd angulation of his neck and the indentation on the top of his head said it all. The only thing he could have possibly been was an organ donor and even now, that was too late.

The surgeon knelt down next to the body and listened for signs of life. No breathing was heard and no pulse was felt as she reached for the carotid artery in his neck. Out of habit, Garrett looked at her watch and pronounced his time of death. "0138."

***********

The night had slowly edged into the wee hours of morning as the last patient was being loaded onto their helicopter. Danni and Garrett had triaged, shipped off the earlier patients, and were now on their way into the Trauma Center with the last one. It would be their last patient together.

The limo driver was resting as comfortably as could be expected with a badly fractured ankle and wrist as the nurse and surgeon watched over him. Each one was thinking of the scene that they had just left.

Danni willed the trip to take forever as she didn’t want it to end. Stealing glances in the surgeon’s direction as best she could, the nurse wanted to freeze time and keep her team together. But as the saying goes, all good things must end. And so, as Cowboy started his steady descent to the helipad below, the petite blonde found her eyes to be misty with a veil of tears. Blinking rapidly, she fought to hide them from the others onboard.

Garrett sat silently, thinking of what she and Danni had been through. They had served together and learned that they had more to give than they ever expected to, not only to each other but also to their patients as well. Now, their time together would be gone and the learning would have to start all over again in another place, in another world. Each one would need to learn for themselves what it was like without the other close at hand. The surgeon turned her face toward Danni’s and stared into it, memorizing this moment in time. In Garrett’s estimation it had been their finest hour, meeting the challenge of multiple casualties and winning the battle with only a single life taken.

They went through the motions that they had done what seemed like hundreds of times before, and handed off their patient to the awaiting Trauma Team. Now, it was finally over and they left the E.R. to deposit their helmets and put the equipment back in order for the next crew that it would serve.

Cowboy waited until they were done before he approached the women. He’d liked both of them and had only found out earlier that day the choice that the Flight Surgeon had made concerning her future. It pained him to see another take her place but when you were military, you got used to it. They all did and the pilot knew the mixed bag of emotions a reassignment carried with it. Eagerness to start the new job, while still having feeling of sadness at leaving the one you were familiar with. Then he thought of Danni and wondered if she, too, would be leaving to follow the surgeon, after all, a team like that was hard to walk away from.

He held out his hand to the turning woman, "Doc, it’s been a pleasure flying with you. Anytime you want, I’d be honored to have you as a team member."

Garrett smiled and extended her hand to him. "Thanks, Cowboy, you made that easy for us." She looked over to Danni to include her in the thought then felt her hand being taken in his and her body being pulled into a hug with the man. She returned the embrace that felt so much like the ones that her father had given her when she had achieved a milestone in her life.

The petite blonde watched her team members as best she could with the tears that were streaming down her face. ‘Its over, it’s really over.’ She felt at a loss for words and hoped that she would not be called on for any. She closed her eyes and felt the hand on her shoulder guiding her into the group hug. ‘You just can’t leave well enough alone, can you, Cowboy?’ But it was too late and soon all three stood close together, the man’s long reach encircling them both as the sky slowly turned a lighter shade of dark.

*****************

It was early on Sunday morning when Danni rose and started packing for her yearly two weeks of vacation. The destination didn’t matter much because of her fear of flying. The trip was usually somewhere she could travel by any other mode of transportation. This year, her destination was simple. It was the place that she had grown up feeling secure and loved. The cabin that had been her grandfather’s and she knew it well. There, she could let her wounds heal while not worrying about what others would think or say. It would give her the time that she would need to grieve the loss of her loved one.

The tall woman stopped by Danni’s room on her way back from the shower. Knocking first and then opening the door to the muffled response, Garrett watched her friend, first put a stack of clothing into her suitcase and then take it back out again. "Is it alright to come in?"

The blonde nodded and looked away. She knew that the time for good-byes was fast approaching and she was stalling for all she was worth. "Yeah, I just can’t seem to decide if I’ll need some heavier clothing for the evenings or not. It can get pretty chilly up there with nothing to keep you warm." Danni smiled weakly as images of Garrett’s long arms wrapped around the nurse’s body to stave off the chill of the night air. ‘By the gods, I wish you were going with me.’

Garrett held up her finger, "I’ve got the perfect thing." She disappeared from the doorway and returned with an old heavy sweatshirt in hand. The surgeon walked into the room and held it out for Danni to take. "I don’t think I’ll get much use out of it in Arizona. Here, you take it, that way if I ever come back this way, I’ll have something to wear."

The petite woman took it from her friend and held it out to see. "Gar, I can’t take this, it’s from your college days. Don’t you want to keep it for a remembr…"

"I’ll never wear it down there. Besides, it’s a favorite of mine, took me quite a while to get it all broken in and soft. See?" Garrett took the sleeve and rubbed it against Danni’s cheek. "I’d rather see you with it than for it to collect dust in storage."

The nurse realized what her friend was doing and held the garment next to her heart. "Thanks, Gar." She folded it and packed it neatly into the suitcase with the large, faded letters U.S.C. showing. "It will be here if you ever need it." Then clearing her throat, she sniffed back a tear letting the breath she was holding ease out of her mouth. ‘You don’t have to do this yet, Danni, stall for more time.’ "Hey, I made some coffee. Do you want me to get you a cup while you get dressed?"

"Thanks, I’d like that," the tall woman disappeared from the room.

Danni closed her eyes and breathed through her mouth. ‘Control, Danni, keep it in control. She was never yours for the taking. If she doesn’t want to stay on her own, you can’t hold her here.’ She swallowed hard and headed for the door and the pot of coffee downstairs.

As she came to the top of the staircase, Danni heard the familiar beeps of the Flight Surgeon’s pager. Curious, she turned to see Garrett coming through her bedroom door, pulling a T-shirt over her head with one hand. The other hand was holding her cellphone as she did a quick answer or two, flipped it shut, then stuck it in her pocket of her jeans.

"Danni, forget the coffee. I got to get to the hospital. They need another surgeon for a Trauma patient." Garrett walked up to the petite woman and gathered her up in her arms. "Thanks, for everything this last year. I guess you’ll be gone by the time I get home." The surgeon felt the grip of the small woman tighten for a second and then let go. Bending her head down, the surgeon kissed the top of Danni’s head. "I’ll send you my address when I get settled." Her grip released and she was striding toward the door with the same determination that she had when she came into the nurse’s life.

"Good-bye." The words were mere whispers on either side of the door as it shut. The surgeon headed toward her Blazer while a lost soul floundering in the sea of life still stood on the steps to the second floor.

Danni had wanted to say so much more, and there she stood saying nothing, just giving her heart with that short embrace. Slowly sinking down to sit on the top step, the nurse heard the sound of the Blazer as it pulled hurriedly out of its space and took off down the street. There was an empty feeling in her heart as well as the pit of her stomach. Garrett was gone, and now she was left alone. ‘You are such a coward, Bossard. Why didn’t you tell her?’

The tears flowed freely now and the petite woman got up and walked down to the desk in the hall. Taking out a piece of stationery, she picked up the pen and poured her heart out into words that she hoped the surgeon would accept. Done after only a few minutes, Danni folded it noticing the few tearstains that had been left on it. She placed it next to Garrett’s mail for the surgeon to find.

She returned to her room, finished packing, and left. There would be no need to stall for more time now. What she dreaded for so many months was over and done with. It was time for healing, and then she would have to move on with her life, if she could.

Chapter 13

The last week of her Fellowship year slid by before Garrett Trivoli knew it. The days were filled with rounds, answering trauma calls, and occasional cases in the O.R. Things that she loved doing, but somehow now, without the bubbling, blonde nurse, the surgeon was just passing time with. She couldn’t believe how much one person had changed her whole outlook on life.

Often during a free moment, the surgeon thought about how she had left so abruptly, saying good-bye to Danni with nothing more than a hug and a few mumbled words of thanks for all that the nurse had done and been to her. She was ashamed for it, knowing that the blonde-haired nurse with the heart of gold deserved more. The surgeon had found the note placed by her mail slot when she had returned home later that night. It made her think that Danni had more on her mind to say when they parted than she had been allotted time for. Maybe that was why the surgeon kept putting off reading the note that Danni had left, afraid that it would blast her for it. Then Garrett would reason out that Danni could never do anything of the like. In fact, that knowledge made her not want to read the letter at all, at least not while she was still in Pittsburgh. That was why she left it in her mail slot, to be taken out with the last of her belongings.

It was Thursday and nearing the end of the day when Garrett received word during an appendectomy case that Dr. McMurray would like to see her. The surgeon planned to finish her case and once her patient was in the Recovery Room, she’d stop by her mentor’s office. ‘He probably wants to wish me well,’ she reasoned, knowing that he was headed out for a long weekend with his wife. She continued on with her procedure in the sterile environment.

*************

McMurray was standing, his back to the door when he heard the brisk knocking on it. "Come in," he yelled never taking his eyes from the sights outside of his window. He pondered how to approach the subject that was on his mind. He thought about how well the surgeon performed her job with the petite nurse at her side. They were a crack Flight Team; why wouldn’t that extend to their personal lives? They always seemed to look out for one another, taking on the other’s battle as if it were their own. He could see the love in their eyes when they were together. ‘Just like the love that I still see in my wife’s eyes when she looks at me now.’ The Ol’ Cutter couldn’t understand why the surgeon wanted to leave. She could have it all and keep contact with the friends that she had made. ‘It’s almost like you’re leaving for another reason. Perhaps to distance yourself from someone?’

The door slowly opened, revealing the tall surgeon. "You wanted to see me, sir?" After closing the door behind her, she strode into the room, taking up a position near the desk. She wondered if he had heard her enter, he never moved a muscle, just stood there staring out of the window.

After a few moments, he nodded his head, as if in deep thought, then turned to address her. "Dr. Trivoli…Garrett," his eyes softened when they met hers. "Have you ever felt like you were caught between a rock and a hard place?"

Her eyes narrowed as she regarded his question. "Yes, sir, I have." Her eyebrow rose as she continued. "I’ve found either way you are damned if you do or damned if you don’t." She could sense that something was on his mind. She was pretty sure that whatever it was involved her.

Sighing, he nodded in agreement to her statement, as his fingers absently played with the picture frame on his desk. He made his mind up; he saw no reason to beat around the bush. McMurray had always thought of the skilled surgeon as a straightforward person and would treat her in the same manner. "You’re really set on heading to Arizona aren’t you? I suppose that they offered you everything under the sun and then some."

"It met my needs." The woman answered without batting an eye. ‘Far enough away and with enough work to keep my mind off of Danni.’

He took in a breath. Without allowing her time to answer further, he began speaking again. "You know in another 4 or 5 years, I’ll be looking for someone to take my place as Chairman of Trauma Services. We could’ve illuminated your career during the next few years, making you one of the most renowned authorities on trauma. That way no one would be able to dispute you replacing me when the time came. That is, if you would have chosen to stay here, under me." He looked her straight in the eye and waited for her reply.

She stood shocked at what he was offering her. "I…I hadn’t really considered staying, sir." She gulped. "I’ve been a little preoccupied lately, I guess." Her thoughts turned ever so briefly to the reason, allowing her face to blush. She chastised herself for letting her emotions come to the surface. She was losing control again and fought to regain it. Pursing her lips to speak, she was cut off before she could start.

"So," he barked. "Does the object of your affection know about it yet, or are you going to keep it all to yourself, Dr. Trivoli?" The Ol’ Cutter sniffed as he searched her face for an answer. "Hmmm, I can see that you haven’t even discussed it with yourself, let alone that person." He eyed her with disdain. "Or if you have thought about it, you think that you know what’s best."

"But, Sir, it’s not that easy." Her eyes darted on and off of his face as she tried to find the words. "There are a lot of things to consider before I…"

"Before you what? Let love pass you by." He looked at the photo that he now was holding in his hands. His eyes falling on those of his wife’s in the picture. "Sometimes you only pass by once in life before the world takes you in another direction." He put the frame back down on the desktop. "Don’t live the rest of you life wondering what life would have been like."

‘I know that from experience. Thank God, I came to my senses after only a year, and what a year it was, filled with anger and heartache.’ He eyed her suspiciously. "You aren’t trying to be gallant and not let your feelings be known, are you?"

Garrett closed her eyelids, trying desperately to hold back her resolve. She mustered up all of her energy to resume her display of the stoic mask she had used so many times before. Her eyes burned deep into his. "I’m afraid, sir, that you are correct. I’m not sure that my feelings would be well received, anyway." Her voice trailed off in thought.

"This person," he paused. "They’re not already married, are they?"

Her face registered shock at the thought of breaking up a marriage. "NO!" She protested. "I could never…"

"All right then." McMurray abruptly turned back to gazing out the window, deep in thought. Suddenly it all became clear to the man. ‘Perhaps Dr. Trivoli, you just need to know where I stand.’ After a moment, his voice turned mellow as he spoke. "You know that things are viewed a lot differently today than they were in my day."

Her eyes grew big in realization of what he was alluding to. She muttered under her breath, fearing that he could read her thoughts. "I can’t believe that it wouldn’t be an issue, an obstacle to some."

"Dr. Trivoli let me remind you, when an injured patient comes seeking help, they don’t care whether you are a left handed surgeon or a right handed one. All that they care about is that you are able to help them, to heal them and make them as whole as possible. Why do you think that it will matter who you have beside you in your life’s path?" His brow furrowed in thought and anger both at her insecurity and her bullheadedness to realizing what her heart was telling her all along.

"I know how some people are. They wouldn’t understand." Her eyes were cast down to the floor.

"I’m sure that anybody you operated on would rather know that in this day and age of devastating, deadly diseases, the surgeon with her hands inside of them is engaged in a monogamous relationship. No matter who that relationship was with."

Garrett’s mouth dropped open at the candor with which the man spoke.

"Hell, you’d have to be a fool to take chances on someone that wasn’t. Now, don’t think that I feel that every patient needs to know your private life, I don’t," he barked. "At least you could answer that question if it were ever an issue. You’d be able to assure them of your complete and undeniable dedication to your partner, putting their minds at ease."

Unsure, she answered. "I just never thought…"

Turning quickly, his gaze pinned her in place tighter than if he had used a hammer and nails to do the job. "Then you’d better think about letting the other person know what’s in your heart or you’ll lose her for sure, before you know it." He shook his head as he thought aloud. "I can’t understand how you can be such a damn good trauma surgeon and not be able to take control of your own life." A sigh of disgust could be heard as it left his mouth. "I would have thought that you could have learned more while you were here with us, Trivoli, but I guess I was wrong." The Ol’ Cutter shook his head in frustration. "I suggest that you would at least be woman enough to confront the other person and see where they stand before you throw it all away." He turned and walked over to the window again, his back remaining in her view. "Now, go and think about what I’ve said. You’ve got a lot of things to consider before you plot out the rest of your life."

She stood motionless, her eyes not being able to stay fixed to any one place. Her mind was a jumble of mixed emotions raging from fear to hatred of the man who had been able to crawl inside of her head without her realizing it. Was it so obvious to everyone around her? Was she in such denial of her own feelings for so long that she couldn’t even recognize them when they were pointed out to her? The once proud and defiant surgeon stood there, her shoulders rounded in self-doubt. Biting her lower lip she closed her eyelids to try to calm her turbulent soul. Shaking her head as she left the office of her mentor, she knew what she needed to do next, and it wasn’t going to be easy.

************

After a restless night, Garrett rose to her last day of work here in the ‘Burgh. She’d puttered through the silent house hoping to hear the sound of a lumbering Danni climbing out of her bed to start the day, but it never happened. The surgeon was there by herself with only memories to keep her company now.

The tall woman pulled on her Dockers, polo shirt and grabbed a freshly laundered white Lab coat for her final day in the clinic. There would be no surgeries for her today, instead it would be a day of checking up on patients that she had seen initially in the past and she thought of it as coming full circle in their care. It would be a short day for her. Even with making the several stops to say her good-byes, she knew that she would be home earlier than on most of her previous work days. She looked around her bedroom and made a mental note to bring a few boxes home with her tonight to pack her meager belongings in, then left to begin her last day.

************

She had seen several of her patients as the morning wore on into the afternoon. Each of the visits had shown a steadily improving patient recovering both from their injuries and from the trauma of the accident itself.

Take for instance the woman that the Trauma Team had simply known as "Sunshine." Her ability to come back after the devastating attack and rape was testament in itself. The surgeon knew how hard the rape trial had been for both her and the victim but luckily some good had come out of it for the both of them. Garrett realized that she did indeed have tendencies leaning toward being gay, and for "Sunshine," the woman was able to find some sort of justice in knowing that the man who had violated her would be locked up for quite a while.

Then, there was the young boy who, by bad luck, had gone from mock patient to patient all in the same day. It would take some time but his rehabilitation was going along nicely. His initial neurogenic shock was resolving as well as the head injury that he had sustained in that fall from the bleachers. It would be another month or so before the Cervical Spine fracture was healed completely, but his prognosis was looking better every day. He would not be a victim of paralysis.

She felt proud of the work that she had been a part of in all of her patients’ efforts to bring their lives back to near normalcy. Her skills had been well used and relied upon over the course of the last year, making her feel good that she had played an important role in their lives.

Garrett looked at the clock as she went to the desk for the last set of folders that were waiting to be seen. It was nearly 1630. With a little luck this would be the last ones for today. She opened the first folder and smiled. Then as she quickly opened the second folder her smile grew broader. ‘What a nice way to end this day,’ she thought and went to the examination room where the patients were waiting to be seen.

The surgeon opened the door slowly and smiled at the pair. "Marie, Chris, I’m glad that I get to have you two as my last patients to see."

The eyes of the women lit up as they recognized the tall surgeon. "Why now, if it isn’t Dr. Trivoli, what a surprise." Marie voiced in her calm and eloquent manner while Chris nodded in delight from the chair next to her.

"So what do you say we get the exams done first, then we can chat?" Garrett looked at them with a raised eyebrow. "Chris, how about you first?" The surgeon motioned to the examination table in the room. "Care to hop up and let me take a look at how well that incision of mine is doing?"

"Sure, Doc," she stated as she got up and tugged her shirt out of her pants. She walked over to the table as she unbuttoned the shirt and then laid down waiting to be examined. "Looking pretty good, I think."

The surgeon pulled on a pair of gloves and gently probed the site, checking it for how it had healed as well as signs that the scaring was fading. After inspecting the length of the incision and the areas around it, she straightened up and smiled as she pulled off the gloves, throwing them into the trash receptacle. "Looking very good, Chris. Are you experiencing any problems, any tightness of the skin as it’s healing?"

"Hell…I mean heck no, Doc." Chris corrected her language and looked over sheepishly at Marie. "I been trying not to use that as much since I almost landed up there." She giggled as her curly hair shook in response to it. "You did a good job of patching me up and I wanted to thank you for it." The older woman nodded. "Marie told me what all you did and I wanted you to know that I appreciated it."

"Yes," Marie chimed in. "She was on the road to recovery much faster since you let me stay with her. Thank you for doing what was best for her and not what somebody else stated as policy."

Garrett smiled and nodded. "I like to think that I do what is best for the patient, not just follow the rules."

"Well, you do. I just hope that you do it for yourself too, Doc." Chris winked and searched the face of the surgeon to see if she understood.

"Well, some things don’t always happen like you want them to." She turned her attention to Marie now. "Let me take a look at that face of yours, Marie."

The quick glancing of eyes passed between the two older women as each wondered what she had meant.

"Doc, ain’t Danni, the nurse, here with you?"

"No," the surgeon cleared her throat. "She’s on vacation."

"But she’s coming back, right?"

"Yes, she’ll be back shortly after I’m gone." Garrett rolled her tongue around her teeth and raised her eyebrows like a shrug. "I’ve accepted a position in Arizona. I’ll be leaving tomorrow."

"You sure that you want to do something like that? I mean…all that way across the country?" Chris was intent on bringing it to her attention.

"Yeah, I’m sure. It’s a good job offer that I can’t pass up."

"Does Danni know about this?" Marie was quick to ask. "I’m sure that she wouldn’t want you to…" she stopped suddenly noticing the face that Chris was making. "Well, we’ll miss you, Doc. That’s for sure."

"Thanks." It was all that Garrett could say as she continued with the closer examination of the woman’s face. "Looks like that scar is healing nicely. A little while longer and you’ll hardly know that it’s there." The words echoed into the surgeon’s own head and she hoped that they would be true for her too as she thought about the scar that would be etched on her heart by leaving Danni.

**************

It was the end of her day and now all she had left to do was stop by the office for her picture of Lucas and turn in her keys, Hospital I.D., and pagers to Dr. McMurray’s secretary. It wasn’t much but it was the last reminders of her year of Fellowship here in Pittsburgh, well, that and the occasionally sore ankle from that pothole.

Garrett turned the doorknob on her office door and was surprised to see it was unlocked. Opening it, she saw Rene Chabot sitting at the desk, his long frame stretched out and lounging from chair to desk.

"Taking over a little more of the office since I’m leaving, eh, Rene?" She teased him, her eyebrow high upon her forehead.

"Well, I did think that the office was going to be a little bigger with you gone, if only for the last week. But I can see that I was wrong." He smiled at her and joined in her laughter. "So, you really are going to Arizona?"

"Yes, I’ll be leaving to drive out there tomorrow." She shrugged not knowing what else to do. "Why, you going to miss me?"

He slowly nodded his head, "Yes, I will."

"Well, don’t let me disturb you. I just stopped by for my photograph." She motioned to it on the bookcase. "It was nice working with you, Rene. Heck, you weren’t too bad to get to know even if you were Canadian." The tall woman chuckled at the face he was making to her comment as she picked up the framed picture and tucked it into her pocket.

"Hey, do you want an international incident or what?"

"No," Garrett shook her head. "It’s just my way of letting you know that I enjoyed our little talks here in the office. You know, Rene, they always made me think."

The tall man sat up, attentive to her words. "That’s what they were supposed to do. Although…I’m not sure that they did."

Her raven hair moved softly around her shoulders as she nodded her head. "They did, believe me, they did."

Dr. Chabot stood and held out his hand to her. "Well, perhaps our paths will cross again, my friend and I’ll get another chance to work on you to open you heart and let the love enter in."

She took his hand and shook it first as one colleague to another and then as friend to friend. "Maybe someday. You never know what the fates hold in store for us."

They let their hands glide smoothly past one another, as their eyes registered what they could not say.

"Good-bye, Garrett." He moved around the desk and hugged the tall woman who had become more of a friend to him than his colleague.

"Good-bye, Rene. Kiss those little ones for me, will you?" She said softly next to his ear.

"I will." The man let her slip away from his grip even though he wanted to hold her in place, not letting her leave until she would come to her senses.

Garrett nodded and left the office as the tall French-Canadian sank into his chair and propped his head on his hands with his elbows on the desk. He sighed loudly. ‘Now what is Danni going to do without you, my friend?’ The man shook his head in disbelief. ‘Better yet, what are you going to do without her?’

**************

She was off the clock now, if you wanted to think of it as such. The surgeon entered the reception area outside of McMurray’s office.

"Hi, Stella." She greeted the woman behind the desk. "I’m supposed to drop these off to you." She held out her hand with the key, pagers and hospital I.D. for the woman to see.

"Yes, Dr. Trivoli, I was expecting you." The older woman smiled politely as she accepted the items. "If you would just sign here, you’ll be free to go."

Garrett acknowledged the requirement and complied by lifting the pen on the desk and scribbling out her signature. Standing back up, she turned and stopped looking at the wall to the left of the door.

"New pictures going up, Stella?" The surgeon pointed to the empty nails on the wall and wrapped frames on the counter right below them.

"McMurray didn’t tell you?" She thought for a moment. "I bet he forgot in his hurry to get out of here last night." The secretary rose from her chair and went over to the packages in question and opened them.

The surgeon’s eyes grew wider as she saw what was going to be hung on the wall. They were mounted photographs of her and Danni. The larger of the two was the PR shot for the Flight Team, while the smaller one was in black and white from the E.R.’s annual Softball game that she had participated in. It was the one that they had used in the hospital newspaper of her and the petite nurse sprawled out like two rag dolls on top of each other in the dirt.

Garrett stood in shock, not realizing that the woman was picking up a third package and unwrapping that also. When she finally saw what it was, she sank down into one of the chairs and just stared at it.

"When…when was that one taken?" The dazed surgeon asked, still glued to the photograph.

"You should know, you were there, Dr. Trivoli."

"I had…I had no idea."

"You don’t think that it’s a good likeness of you?"

"No, it’s good, in fact, it’s great even." Garrett bit at her lip. "I…I got to go. Thanks, Stella for showing them to me." The surgeon got up and left, letting the third photo be the last thing she saw as she walked out of the room.

Stella watched as Garrett departed from the room. "Hmmm…" she turned back to the picture in question. "You sure do always know how to pick them Mrs. McM." She went over to the photo and brushed a piece of lint from the glass. "Don’t want anything to cloud your vision." She giggled. "Just like that Ol’ Cutter of yours, she’ll be back once she finds out what she’s left behind." The secretary looked at the photograph of the four people, Dr. and Mrs. McMurray and Dr. Trivoli with Nurse Bossard at her right. "Yep. Just going to take some time."

**************

The tall surgeon had taken off her lab coat and draped it over her arm as she walked down the hall thinking about the photographs that she had just seen. ‘And you thought you were doing the right thing by leaving and not staying around for her to see. She’ll see you every time that she walks into or leaves McMurray’s office. Damn that awards dinner.’ She let out a long breath. ‘Guess you were wrong about that, eh Gar?’

"Well only one more stop to make and you’re out of here." She spoke out loud to herself. "Next stop the E.R." With renewed emphasis on leaving, she set her course for the busiest area of the hospital.

*************

Between the warm weather and the beginning of the summer, the waiting room for the E.R. was packed with people all waiting to be seen. The Spring cold and flu season had given way to injuries of every type and nature. Garrett surveyed the crowd of waiting patients as she wound her way through the seating section and past the registration desk. She could tell that the night would be a busy one for anyone left working. In a way, it kind of unsettled her to know that for the next week or so she had absolutely nothing to do but pack up and drive to Arizona.

She pushed open the double doors and walked into the main hub of the E.R., faint glimpses of Danni played across her mind as she looked around for the faces she wanted to see. God, was she going to miss coming in here. Not wanting to cry, Garrett quickly pulled out that stoic mask and let it fall in place.

"Hey, Dr. Trivoli." Jamie Potter waved to her. "Can I get you to take a look at a belly for me?"

Garrett smiled then shook her head. "Sorry Dr. Potter, I no longer have O.R. privileges here."

"Oh, jeez, I forgot that you were leaving." She grabbed a chart and started to walk by. "I guess you won’t be playing on our team then this year."

"No, hardly. I’ll be in Arizona."

"Good luck then, and take care." The wild haired E.R. Attending winked at her and waved. "I got a patient to see. Bye."

"Bye." Garrett sighed. ‘Well, that wasn’t too bad.’ She turned and looked for the older, no nonsense Charge Nurse. Seeing her, she called out, "Mom."

Karen turned and smiled. She was glad that the surgeon had stopped by. The nurse finished her writing and put down the chart. "Come here you." She reached out for the tall woman. "Now who’s going to nearly run me down and make me a trauma this year, huh?" The nurse hugged Garrett as if she were her real daughter, going off to live on her own for the first time. "I’m going to miss you, you Amazon." She released the surgeon and wiped a tear from her own eye. "You’d think that I’d get used to my kids growing up and leaving home. Never."

Garrett smiled and nodded. She too, had grown to think of this as her home and the woman in front of her as dearly as her own mother. "Yeah, well, you should try it from this side sometime. It’s not much better." The surgeon bit at her lip trying to remain in control.

"Hey, Trivoli." The loud voice was heard over the din of the hall as Rosie came up and put her arm around the dark-haired woman. "You stopping by to help out or to say "bye" as you get out?" She was one for teasing as always.

"Getting out, Rosie. I just stopped by to say thanks for all the good times this last year."

Rosie opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the sound of the overhead paging system. "Trauma’s in the department. Trauma’s in the department."

"Bye, Doc, I got to go." The auburn-haired nurse gave her a quick hug and left for the Trauma Hallway.

"Bye." Garrett watched as she faded from view.

"You know something, Doc? I never thought I’d see that the first day you came through those doors. Nope, Rosie was ready to hunt you down and throttle you good."

Garrett looked puzzled. "Why didn’t she?"

"Danni. Danni promised that she’d make you more ‘E.R. nurse friendly’."

"And that she did." The words were muttered and meant only for the surgeon.

"Hey, speaking of Danni, she gave me something awhile back for you. Let me get it out of my locker." Mom took off, headed for the locker room before Garrett could react. Within a minute she was back and holding out a small box for Garrett to take. "Here, open it."

The surgeon looked to Mom. "Do you know what’s in it?"

"No."

Garrett nodded, then pulled the lid off of the box. Inside on a pillow of velvety material was a small, gold, free floating heart, the kind that could be worn on a necklace. The surgeon’s eyes blinked back a tear as she looked at the Charge Nurse.

"She never told me, honest. I have no idea what it was meant to be for." Karen debated whether or not to say anything about how Danni felt or what the young nurse had confided in her. "You know, Doc, that little nurse really does love you with all of her heart."

"Thanks, Mom." She leaned over, hugged the woman, then put the lid back on the box. "I…I got to go. Bye, Mom, and thanks." The stoic woman who was loosing her control held up the box, nodded, turned and walked out of the E.R.

Karen stood there and watched the doors close on another chapter in the life of the E.R., a chapter that she’d hoped would have ended differently.

*********

It was a pleasant summer evening as she drove with her windows rolled down, her arm hanging out of the opening as Garrett headed towards home for the final time. Traffic wasn’t that bad for a Friday night and the flow seemed to be moving faster than usual when it was her turn to stop at the traffic light outside of the mall entrance. Sitting there, she eyed the listing for a jewelry store on the first level of the mall. ‘Hmmm…maybe I should get a chain for that heart.’ With her decision made, the Blazer pulled to the right as she turned into the mall drive.

It didn’t take long before the black full sized Blazer was once again sitting at the traffic light, only this time it was coming from another direction. The raven-haired woman at the wheel was playing self-consciously with the shiny new necklace and floating heart that moved freely about her neck. It had been almost a year since she had worn a necklace. The surgeon had only ever worn her dog tags from the Navy and that was because they required it. Now, she chose to wear something that reminded her of one petite, golden-haired woman with a free-floating heart all her own. Yes, Garrett decided that she’d wear this necklace for rest of her life, that way she’d always keep Danni close to her heart.

*********

The surgeon found sleep to be nothing more than an illusion as she spent most of her time walking from one room to the next, reliving all of the things that had happened to her in this house, Danni’s house. She thought back to the first day that the nurse had even suggested that they share the space. Garrett had been so sure that it wouldn’t work out and now to look at her, she would have been better off if it hadn’t.

Somehow she ended up sitting on the couch for the longest time in the early morning, watching the sky change colors through the front window. The twinkling of the stars in the heavens made her think of the tiny ill-shaped Christmas tree that turned into a beautiful sight when the final decorations were done and the colorful lights were illuminated.

Garrett shook her head as if to try to clear it of the memories for a while. She pushed herself up from the couch and grabbing the two or three empty boxes that she had brought home, headed for her room. ‘If I’m going to be up all night, I might as well finish packing.’

It didn’t take her long before the few things that she had accumulated while living here in Pittsburgh were packed and ready for shipping when she would have an address to ship them too. She stacked them in the corner of the hall by the door. She hoped that Danni wouldn’t mind. They wouldn’t be there that long, just until she sent an address to have them delivered to.

"Well, Gar, shower time for you and then its time to hit the road." She stretched her body to its full height and felt the bones ease into place. "Yep, a good hot shower will do you wonders." The surgeon started for the stairs when she heard the house phone start ringing. "Hmmm…the hospital knows that Danni is on vacation, I wonder…" Garrett stopped next to the phone and listened, undecided as to pick it up or not.

Finally the answering machine picked up and the prerecorded message with Danni’s voice clicked on. "I’m not here, like always, so leave a message and I’ll get back to you."

Garrett closed her eyes and pictured Danni as she heard the voice.

There was a moment of silence, and then a male voice began to speak. "Danni, I’ve taken care of damage control with Mother. She knows now that you aren’t and never were pregnant. I hope that note she sent you didn’t get you too upset. See you later, Sis. Ah…almost forgot, it’s Matt." He trailed off with the sound of his laughter then hung up.

The surgeon stood there staring at the machine. She was in shock. "David was right…he never…" She closed her eyes tightly now and fought back the tears. "Too late now, Trivoli. You’re a fool to think that someone like Danni would even think of doing something without love being involved in it." Garrett shook her head in disbelief. "And if it happened any other way, I’m sure she would have come to me as a friend for advice." The surgeon rolled her eyes at the thoughts going through her head. "Damn it!" The large fist slammed down on to the hall stand. "You’re committed. You’re due to start that new job in Arizona on the first of July. Your word has always been like gold." She squared her shoulders and set her course for the shower, her right hand raised slowly to her chest and long, sinewy fingers touched the golden heart.

With her shower completed, Garrett dressed, picked up her bags and headed down the stairs. With purposeful steps, she made her way out the door and to her Blazer. Once the suitcases were stowed into the rear, she walked slowly back into the house and made one last sweep for any forgotten belonging.

Finding nothing more of hers to take, the surgeon stopped at the desk and pulled the few remaining letters out of her slot. There in the middle was the piece of stationery that was folded over. She hadn’t read it yet and knowingly shoved it into her jeans back pocket for another time. She took one long last look around, then picked up her leather flight jacket and flung it over her shoulder. Taking the house key from her pocket, she placed it on the desk next to Danni’s slot. The surgeon turned and went to the front door. With the lock set to secure the house upon closing, Garrett let her gaze fall upon the furnishing of the house once more.

"Good-bye, my love." She whispered as she closed the door.

*************

It was mid day when the surgeon finally felt the need to pull off the road for a rest stop. She had been pushing herself to put as many miles in as she could before she stopped for the night. Here was good as any to get a bite to eat and some coffee to fuel her mind. She watched for the next exit that would take her to a roadside diner. Within a few miles the neatly displayed signs pointed her way.

"Mabel’s Home Cooking, sounds good to me," and the surgeon slowed her car to a stop at the end of the turnpike ramp. Pulling into the parking lot, Garrett got out and stretched until it felt good. "Yep, you’ll sleep tonight, that’s for sure."

Entering the small diner, she picked out a booth that was away from the crowd. ‘Alone, as usual, eh Trivoli?’ She settled into the seat and looked over the menu. After giving her order to the waitress, she found herself playing with the gold heart about her neck. She looked around and came up empty handed, "Hmm…nothing here to read." Then she remembered the folded piece of stationery in her back pocket. "Awe…I might as well read it now." She mumbled to herself and dug it out.

Hesitating for only a moment after she unfolded it, she began to read.

My Dearest Garrett,

This past year has been a wonderful experience that I would not trade for the world. Your friendship and understanding has touched my heart in such a way that I can not describe. I have no past liaison to compare it to and even if I did, I’m sure that it would pale to the love that I hold for you in my heart. Thank you, my friend for your confidence in me when I didn’t have any in myself. Even now, I’m lacking the confidence to tell you that I love you and that you will always have my heart.

Take care, my friend.

Danni

Garrett sat transfixed to the letter. The words racing wildly in her head as her mind thought about what to do. There it was in black and white. How could she deny it now?

"Hey, hon. You alright?" The waitress stared at her as she set the food down in front of her.

"Yeah…Yeah, I’m fine." The surgeon’s eyes darted back and forth as she thought. "Do you have a phone here?"

"Sure, right back there by the restrooms."

Garrett jumped up and went in the direction that the waitress had pointed.

"Silly, girl." The waitress smacked her gum and scribbled out the check that she left on the table next to the coffee. "Don’t think she’ll be staying long."

And the waitress was right. After a few moments on the phone, the tall, dark-haired woman sat down, ate quickly, finished her coffee and stood up to leave. Pulling a couple of bills out of her pocket, she counted them out and placed them on the meal check for the waitress, then walked toward the door.

"Hey, don’t you want any dessert?" The waitress yelled from behind the counter as the tall stranger reached for the door.

"No, I think I’ll save room for that later." Then she was out the door and headed toward her Blazer.

Chapter 14

The rhythm of small branches snapping under foot added percussion to the song of the birds as the petite woman strolled through the deafening quiet of the woods. It was a version of the song that she had heard many times in her youth when she had gone on the long, thoughtful walks with her grandfather. She smiled at his favorite saying as it came to her mind. ‘To refresh the soul you only need to listen to your heart beat in time with the song of nature.’ That was exactly what she was trying to do, refresh her soul, but this time it just wasn’t happening. Perhaps it was the fact that ever since Danni had watched Garrett walk away from her and go out the door for the last time her heart just didn’t want to beat. The aching in her chest would not go away and it truly felt like her heart was breaking in two. There seemed no need for it to be whole anymore. It beat now only to sustain the agony and torment that she felt.

For each of the last seven days, Danni had spent most of her waking hours walking through the paths that she and her grandfather had used in the days of her youth. Things seemed so much simpler then, when all she had to do was go to school and follow the wishes of her mother. She had often dreamed, back then, of finding her someone to share her life with, to become one with in the everyday working of the world around her. She just never dreamed back then that it would be a tall, raven-haired woman surgeon by the name of Garrett Trivoli. Would her life be any different if she had known back then? She was sure that it would have been, especially if her mother had known. "I probably would have been forced into a marriage so that I’d come to my senses with the first man my mother could find that met her plan for my life."

She thought about that for a moment and brought her walking to a halt. "Maybe it’s good that I didn’t know that I was gay back then." Her mind tumbled aimlessly over the thought of being in a physical union with someone but still feeling alone, her soul was not joined with the half that it sought to feel complete. "By the gods, it couldn’t feel worse than this."

The tears that were so easy to form were there in a second. At times she wondered where her body was getting all the moisture to keep the river of sadness flowing through her eyes. After bringing her arms up to wipe the tears away from her cheeks, she opened her eyes to see the large upside down letters of U.S.C. written on the sweatshirt she wore. Suddenly, the rush that she had felt at Garrett’s touch coursed through her body as the image of the woman implanted itself firmly in her mind.

The petite woman stood there on the forest’s floor and raised her eyes to the heavens above. Then, as if offering a prayer that the pain of this separation would be soon replaced by only the memory of the friendship and love that she had experienced over the last year, she remained silent with her thoughts.

It seemed now that everywhere she looked, everything she touched brought back memories of the beautiful woman. Danni prayed that it would become easier over the next week without her. She shook her head in wonderment at how she was going to be able to resume any kind of normalcy to her life once she entered that hospital again. She was certain that the wispy illusions that she had been seeing here in the forest would only be multiplied a thousand times. They would come out from every corner and every hallway that the woman had used over the last year, popping up at the most inopportune times she was sure.

Once again the petite woman started walking down the pathways of her life, as she crossed the woodland floor, letting her pain eke out so as not to gather it all in one place. She followed the trail now as she had followed the surgeon, being ever mindful of the many skills that were needed to keep her balance and attain her goal. But that was part of the problem, her goal had been moved, eradicated of sort. Perhaps that was why Danni felt as though for the past week she had been walking with nowhere to go, no goal to achieve, and most of all, no one to come home to.

As the light of the forest floor began to dim, the forlorn woman brought her arms across her chest and held on, both for comfort and for warmth, as the sun began its slow descent in the sky. It would be dark soon and there she would be, alone in the cabin with only the warmth of the well-worn college sweatshirt to hold her through the night. She wondered when the pain would end but then thought if it did, would that mean that she no longer had Garrett in her heart? She hastened her steps toward the cabin, afraid of what the answer would be.

************

The golden rays of the sun setting low on the horizon bathed the clearing that the cabin was nestled into. As the young woman came to the end of the trail, her eyes took in the beautiful sight of the sun-drenched lake reflecting the colorful hues of the sky. It was a breathtaking view as the shimmering water moved with the glow of the world around it. The lure of it called out to her as she slowly came to its edge. Like a lover’s arms outstretched to her, the water beckoned her closer.

She walked along the sandy shore until her steps led her to the long-standing pier that stretched out into the lake, away from the land. There, standing at the furthermost point of dryness in the mist of water, she felt like she was now a part of the images that her eyes beheld. She turned her head slowly to drink in the sight of nature at its finest. Lowering her eyes to the water in front of her, Danni once again saw the illusion of her friend rippling with the rhythm of the lake. The words slipped out of her mouth before her mind could register them. "What I wouldn’t give to have you here with me now." Then she closed her eyes and turned her head trying hard not cry.

"Could you give me another chance at friendship…perhaps, even a chance at love?"

The words came to her ears in the form of the voice she was so familiar with and it scared her. ‘By the gods, I���m really losing it now. First, it’s her image and now I’m hearing her voice. Danni girl, you’re really losing it now.’

"Danni?"

That was it. She heard the voice again. She was definitely getting worse and not better. How would she ever survive? Then she remembered her Grandfather’s lectures about life and confronting your fear head on. And that was what she decided to do as she spun around and opened her eyes.

Through the veil of tears, her vision fell on golden hued skin encased by raven hair and the blue eyes that she remembered so well. Needing to prove to herself that her mind was the one playing tricks, the petite woman stepped forward and readied herself to meet the illusion. Her arms reached out and wrapped around the form bringing it to her. ‘Whoa! Wait a minute here.’

The shock of having a solid form in her arms startled Danni and the woman gasped in alarm.

Pushing her arms out at length, Danni leaned back and looked with renewed interest at the being in front of her. "Gar?"

The dark-haired form nodded and the two embraced as though they had been separated for all of eternity. Slowly the life came back into the hearts that were lacking as the women basked in the rich glow of the sun and the warmth of the love that was filling their hearts.

"Gar, is this really you?"

The softly whispered words fell like music on her ears and the tall woman responded to it with the gentle nodding of her head. "Yes, Danni, it’s me."

That was all that the young woman needed to hear and she tightened her embrace vowing never to let go again. "I was hoping it was."

The sentiment that it brought to Garrett was enough to give her the strength she needed to overcome any fear she might have had about how she would be received. If this moment was any example of the love that the two shared, the surgeon was sure that she had done the right thing by coming back.

She was sure of it now, as she felt the tears soaking into her shirt from the young woman in her arms.

"Tears of joy, I hope?"

Danni felt the blush start in the base of her neck as she struggled to respond. "Now, they are." She sensed the touch of long, sinewy fingers under her chin as she felt her head being tipped back and Garrett’s face came into her view. Blue eyes met with green and the silent outpouring of two long separated souls spoke volumes to one another of their journey to where they were now.

It was as though the world had stopped revolving and time stood still. The draw of the souls longing to be together edged each one closer and soon, soft, moist lips pressed one against the other. The charge of the electricity surging through their bodies was enough to start any weakened heart, healing the wounds that had been placed there in a now forgotten time. The kiss was soft and tender as their bodies adjusted to the touch. After a lingering moment, the touch of lip to lip faded and they stood looking into each other’s eyes, drinking in the love that they had seen and now tasted.

Like two small children eager to tell a secret, they whispered what was foremost on their minds, bothering not to listen to the other.

"I love you," was the nearly unison verbiage that filled the air between their bodies.

Each one looked in wonderment of the other as dreams long sought were finally being realized. Suddenly all of the time and torture that they had gone through meant nothing compared to what they were feeling now and looked forward to in the future. They had finally come to their senses and it felt good.

The sound of a distant motorboat broke the spell that they had been held in and they found themselves feeling shy with the other. With nervous giggles catching in their throats, they moved away from one another leaving only their hands to make contact now. This was all so new for the both of them and they weren’t quite sure how to act.

With the threat of the outside world invading their newly found realm of each other, Danni’s mind was soon wondering what had happened to bring the surgeon to her.

"Gar, is something wrong? Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be on your way to Arizona?" The questions rolled off of her tongue before she could stop them. The concern was evident in the furrowed brow under the wind tossed golden hair, green eyes looking deeply for answers in the blue reflective pools of the surgeon.

"Nothing’s wrong, Danni, at least not now. I think I finally came to my senses. I’m not taking that position in Arizona." Garrett watched the nurse’s face for any sign of disapproval. There was none.

"But Gar, they’re expecting you to be there. What did you tell them?"

The raven-haired woman looked out over the lake. "I told them the truth, my heart just wasn’t in making the move." Garrett looked back at Danni. "No matter where I would move, my heart would always be here with you." It was the truth, and the surgeon knew it.

The petite nurse stood mesmerized by the complete truthfulness of the statement. It was the exact thing that she herself considered to be true, her heart would be with the surgeon no matter where they both were.

Content that their hearts were in the right place, Danni turned around to view the sunset over the opposite shore of the lake. It was the first time that they would share a sunset together as a couple, and arm in arm, they basked in its waning glow. The silent show of nature drawing the curtain on the day’s magnificent glory was more beautiful then they could have ever imagined.

Garrett moved behind Danni and wrapped her long arms around the woman in front of her, holding her close to her body. ‘I’d give anything for the rest of my life to be like this, embracing the one that I love and enjoying the beauty of nature together each evening.’ But it was only a wish and she knew that the reality of it happening with their given professions was not likely. She’d have to be content with whatever they could steal from their demanding jobs and enjoy it as best they could.

Together they stood and watched until the last burnt orange glimmer of sun faded from the sky and the faint twinkles hinted at the stars in the darkening ceiling above them.

"Gar?"

"Hmm…"

The blonde smiled at the warmth she was feeling nestled up against the surgeon’s body. "What are you going to do now? I mean…where are you going to work?"

"I thought that I’d talk to McMurray when we get back at the end of the week. I’m afraid that a job in surgery might be a little up in the air right now. I’ll have to see."

Danni nodded, and for the first time knew exactly how much the surgeon thought of her. Garrett had given up a lucrative position in a wonderful setting and all because of the love that she had for the nurse. The petite woman closed her eyes and thanked the gods for bringing Garrett Trivoli back to her. Whatever had caused it, she would forever be grateful.

"Why…why did you want to leave in the first place? Was it because you weren’t sure I’d return your love?"

The surgeon swallowed hard, half-afraid to admit what she had thought. "I…I thought you were pregnant and didn’t want to be the cause of the child not having both parents. I thought you and David…"

"Me and David?" Danni spun around in the long arms to face the surgeon. "Gar, whatever gave you that idea?" The green eyes searched the shadowy face for a clue. "David was just a friend, I’d never…"

"I know, David told me." The tall woman cast her eyes to the ground. "I knew that you were in love with someone, I just assumed that it was him. I never dreamed that it was me." Garrett raised her gaze to look into the sea green pools asking for forgiveness.

"Gar, but why…why would you think that I was pregnant?"

"The day that McMurray sent me to David’s hospital, I opened the door to the house and that was when I heard you say. ‘I’m pregnant.’ I have to admit it caught me off guard. I just assumed that it was from your time with David in West Virginia."

"Oh, Gar." Danni shook her head and began to laugh. "Mother strikes again." Suddenly Danni knew exactly where the misconception came.

"What?" The surgeon’s eyebrow shot up on her forehead.

"Mother thought that I was pregnant and having twins. That was the letter that I was reading when you walked in. She seemed to think that I was having a wild, torrid love affair with a staff member at the hospital."

The eyebrow pushed ever upward now. "Who?"

"Why that tall, dark and always on the prowl for new meat," Danni chuckled at the thought, "Trauma Fellow, Garrett Trivoli."

"Huh?" The surgeon was dumbfounded. "I don’t understand."

"Mother was at the hospital the other week and saw Rene in your Flight Suit and overheard him talking about expecting to get his twins in his arms soon. I had told her long ago that you, Garrett Trivoli had moved in with me and well, I guess one thing lead to another and…I was pregnant." Danni smiled not believing herself what she had just said.

"I bet my parents never realized how much trouble my name was going to be."

Danni smiled coyly. "Or maybe they did?" Then winked at the surgeon and tugged at her hand. "Come on, it’s getting dark and I’m famished. Hey, how about I make us something to eat and you start a fire going in the fireplace?"

"Sounds like a plan to me." Garrett moved in tow as Danni led her up the pathway to the cabin.

**************

The two women sat on the rug with their backs against the couch, each one leaning into the other as they watched the dying embers of the fire. Neither of them wanted to part or skirt the issue of sleeping. They were content in just sitting there together with the outside world locked up and being kept far away from their door.

They had continued in their lives of making small talk and eating but the main emphasis of their time was just being together. Taking the time to explore the new realm of friendship that they were embarking on, they stole looks at one another and even tender kisses as the fire glowed brightly both in the hearth and in their hearts.

It was during one of those stolen glances that Danni first noticed the gold chain around Garrett’s neck. Following it down to the top of the surgeon’s open shirt, the petite woman recognized the free-floating heart pendant that it carried.

"Something new?"

Garrett looked down to where Danni’s eyes were fixed. "You should know, you left it with Mom to give it to me on my last day."

"I did? Gar, I didn’t give it to Mom…" and then she knew. The staunch old Charge Nurse, Karen, had taken things into her own hands. Danni had looked at the exact same heart with the thoughts of giving it to Garrett if she had ever gotten her courage up to tell her of the love she held for the woman.

"How did Mom know?"

"You mean that you didn’t…"

"No, but I have to admit that I was looking at that exact pendant with the thoughts of telling you that I loved you."

Garrett touched the heart and looked into Danni’s eyes. "Maybe Karen knows us both better than we know ourselves. This heart and your letter finally made me realize that I was just running from opening up my heart and letting you in."

There was silence for a moment as both thought of how their lives were changing.

"Gar, I don’t want any more misunderstanding or miscommunications between us. We’ve wasted too much time with that already."

"I agree. Let’s just be open and honest with each other and take it slow until we both feel comfortable with this. Okay?" The surgeon looked deep into the green eyes, wishing to see the innermost beauty of the woman in her arms. "We need to come to each other with anything that concerns us. I’m sorry that I didn’t do that earlier."

"Agreed. We’ll take it nice and slow, but we are going to talk a lot more than before."

"Hmm…talk. I might be able to do that." The lopsided grin spread slowly across her face as she turned back to look at the dying fire. "Well, let me start talking by saying that I’ve got a lot to learn about love, Danni. It’s not something that I’ve had a lot of in my life, at least not in the last 20 years."

The young woman nodded. "I know. I’m not that experienced with it myself, at least not in the physical sense." Danni’s gaze dropped to the floor as the hint of a blush started up her face. "Gar…I’ve never…"

"Shhh." Garrett hushed her and kissed her forehead. "We’re in this together, like a team. We don’t rush into anything until we’re both ready for it. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I understand." Danni looked at the almost non-existent fire and sighed. "I guess it’s bedtime, huh?"

Garrett nodded and looked over to the bunk beds against the wall, not wanting to lose the connection that she had just found. "There wouldn’t be any other bedding in this cabin would there?"

The smile spread slowly across Danni’s face. She too didn’t want their closeness to stop at the thought of sleep. "Yes, there is," and she lifted her gaze to the loft overhead. "It was where my grandfather slept." And she got up from the floor tugging the surgeon with her as she did. "Come on, let’s get ready for bed."

What had been a dreaded time now became one of jubilation as they both realized that they could spend the rest of the night sleeping while still reveling in the closeness of the newfound love. Eagerly they both dashed to their suitcases and sought out the apparel for the night. With their backs to each other they hurriedly dressed and then shyly turned to the staircase leading up to the loft.

There was no worry about who would sleep on what side for both women knew that the sides would be left empty and the two would cuddle one up against the other in the middle of the double bed. Crawling under the covers, their bodies soon entwined with long strong arms encircling the petite form of the blonde.

The surgeon lay there content in her being as she reflected on the past year of her Fellowship that had taught her many things. The two most important of them all did not concern her surgical skills but rather what had been haunting her life. The ability to open her heart to love and the knowledge that she was no longer alone came to her like a message from beyond the grave in the form of one petite nurse who was now held in her arms as well as in her heart.

"Danni?" The soft whisper came out.

"Yeah, Gar."

"I was just thinking. I’m glad that I’m going to be learning what love is all about from the best teacher that I could possibly have. I just hope that there aren’t too many curves for me to get around along the way."

"I’ll try to keep them to a minimum. Now, let’s get some sleep, we’ve got the rest of our lives to learn how to love." Danni snuggled into the shoulder of the surgeon, happy that her heart and soul were now feeling whole. She had put her faith for love into the hands of the gods and they had delivered her the tall, dark, surgeon, Garrett Trivoli. And there through the pathways of life they would walk, sometimes leading sometimes following, but always they would be together.