#author spotlight: under-the-shady-tree

[themagiciansreccenter]

The Great Blank Spot: @under-the-shady-tree

So much goes into creating fanfiction even before the first words hit the paper. And in-depth spotlight on our writers and the process behind their work.

Tell us about your current project.  

It's about timeline 23 and everything I think could have happened during it.

The fics are finally posted from The Trials. Did you participate?

I didn't, I would like to at some point in the future, but I was so wrapped up on this and past projects that I completely missed signing up.

What is your current word count?

46,405

Do you try to write daily? Do you have a word count or other goals you try to hit for each writing session?

I write most days, I wouldn't say daily but really close to daily. I used to try for a word count goal but I started to get really discouraged and stressed by doing it that way. I set goals like, get this conversation finished, rewrite that bit of narrative, start this scene. On days I'm not feeling that creative I handle something smaller and on the days I'm bursting then I tackle something big. 

What was the inspiration for this fic?

The episode "Twenty Three" mostly. I loved that there were all these little changes about the timeline and I wondered what else could have been different. I also wrote something in a different fic with Penny23 and it had a few of his observations about the differences between the timelines that I thought were really fun. I found myself not able to let go of the little pieces and I needed to write a full fic on it.

How do you stay motivated between chapters/stories?

It's hard sometimes, but I've found that when I start to think about quitting I remember a scene or a moment later on that really excites me and remind myself I have to keep writing to get there. Also talking with others in the fandom and getting that support has been really the biggest thing, knowing that someone else is excited about what I'm doing.

Did this fic require any research? How much research do you typically do for your fics?

I watched the episode Twenty Three a lot. Each time I would watch it I would try to plot out one of the characters stories and make sure I get them to end up how they ended up in the episode. I also have reread the first Magician's book multiple times in the past few months, paying extra close attention to the Brakebills chapters so I could bring in as much book stuff as I could. For other fics, I can't think if much research I've done. The stuff I wrote about didn't really require it over knowing show and book canon. This has been the most research I've done because of everything it involves.

Do you typically write ahead or post as you go?

I usually post as I go and it's what I have been doing with this fic but I've recently decided to hold off posting until I have more written. I want to give myself some time to really work hard on this because it's a bigger fic than I'm used to writing. With more characters and storylines and just a lot more going on. I'm going to see how it goes with this fic and I might keep that going for future projects. 

How much planning and outlining did you do before you started putting words on paper?

Oh man...a lot. This fic has been slowly brewing since the episode aired and I posted the first chapter in September. The time between all that I was working on this in some way. It was mid July that I finally felt like I had the story in place that I wanted to tell and began officially writing the first chapter.

Has it been pretty smooth sailing or rough waters? When things get rocky, how do you handle needing to rewrite sections or scrap scenes entirely?

It hasn't been all that smooth, honestly. Trying to figure out what to add and how things could be the same or different has been a challenge. There are at least three big events that happen in the show that I have completely deleted and one of those was really hard to let go of because of how attached I was to it. Ultimately though, the story works better with those things gone and I try to remember that. There are other things I've cut for lesser reasons, mostly because I think it will make the story drag a little. I have a few I've put a pin in and hope to someday write them as a shorter fic that could accompany this one. So some things that are cut aren't going to be gone forever. Still the biggest thing that gets me through when it gets hard is the wonderful support I feel from this amazing fandom.

Excerpt

“Eliot?” Closing his eyes, Eliot felt like he might actually cry and he took a deep breath before finally looking at Quentin who stood awkwardly in front of him like he appeared out thin air. “Are you okay?” Eliot smiled, Quentin’s eyes were wide with concern and Eliot almost felt sorry for him. What had this poor kid done to end up anywhere near him? 

 “I’m fantastic.” his voice didn’t sound familiar but he pushed on. “What are doing here?” Quentin pulled his arms around himself; he wasn’t even wearing a coat. 

 “When Amanda gave you that note, you got this look on your face,” Quentin looked embarrassed but Eliot’s heart sped up at the thought of Quentin studying his expressions enough to know when something was wrong. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” his teeth were chattering now and Eliot shook his head as he shrugged his coat off. 

 “So you ran after me without a coat.” Eliot stepped forward and draped the coat on Quentin’s shoulders. “How romantic,” They stood close enough for a moment that their breath visible in the cold air, swirled and mixed together until it was all just a cloud of mist in front of them.

Anything else you want to add/think we should cover?

I just want to say that for the first time I feel I'm starting to come out of my own shell and really feel more comfortable asking for help and I want to thank everyone who has been there. It means the world to me!

The Great Blank Spot is an in-depth spotlight focusing on the writing process and previewing in-progress fics for our fandom. It is meant to be an organic, ever-evolving feature. Previously interviewed fic writers can reach out to us here, to have a specific work featured. If you’d like to have a work featured but haven’t done the author spotlight, reach out to us to get started. If you have suggestions for questions you’d like to see answered, shoot us an ask!

[prophezeiung]

aesthetics for the entities, part ii.   bold what applies to your muse, italics what applies situationally or only in certain verses. rest of the fears here.  this is based on a horror podcast;  potentially triggering and / or upsetting content ahead!

MARTY GRAVES.

viii.  THE HUNT.   sharp canines.  sore calves after a run.  the scent of blood.  an adventure for the journey’s sake.  the adrenaline right before the kill.   a whistle’s echo.  the woods.  the doe eyes of a prey animal.  your own breath in the air.  sharpened claws.  being tracked.  fear of someone knowing your every movement.  hunting down monsters. hide and seek.  running away only to end up where you started.  staying alive purely because the enemy enjoys seeing you run.  a set of footsteps behind you.  blood dripping from bare hands.  barks and growls.  focused eyes.  a victim going limp under your hands.  a mouth full of fresh blood.  catching the scent of something monstorous.  perfecting your craft.  peering into the dark and running after it.

ix.  THE LONELY.  an apartment too small for a double bed.  completely vacant streets.  waking up to see everyone gone.  fog.  point nemo.  a house too big to hear your family members in. alone in a faceless crowd.  a mask with nothing behind it.  separated cubicles. a deafening silence where joy should be.  a blinding spotlight.  the least missed in your friend group.  streets without lights in the windows.  isolation.  not truly knowing your friends.  your friends not truly knowing you.  need for silence.  fear of crowds.  staring into space knowing nothing is looking back at you.  a ship alone at sea.  depression.  knowing your friends are better off without you.  talking to someone only to realise they’re gone.  a family too large to notice you there.  safety in being alone.

x.  THE SLAUGHTER.    a game of tag.   senseless violence.  a true crime hobby.  improvised weapons.  blinding rage.  intent to kill.  a horrific day in a quiet community.  a medal of bravery.  holding on to what validates your anger.  history books that spare no details.  an injury you want revenge for.  war.  counting kills.  songs of soldiers.  a knifeblock on the counter.  a pool of blood.  shellshock.  unspeakable horrors.  anger pushing you forward.  unimaginable pain.  not seeing who will hurt you but knowing the pain is coming.  a fully human monster.  an authority sending its lessers to their deaths.  kill or be killed.  unedited wartime memoirs.  a weapons collection.  not knowing the names of who you kill. too many to remember.  loss of hope.  there’s no heroes in war.

xi.  THE SPIRAL.   sleep deprivation.  corridors you can get lost in.  maze puzzles that loop back on themselves.  losing possessions.  losing people.  losing your sanity.  corkscew curls.  rows of funhouse mirrors.  optical illusions.  a separate reality.  walking through the wrong door.  delusions.  not knowing what your hands are doing. blank spaces in documents. hallucinations.  wrong proportions.  a nameless thing.  a place that has never existed.  doubting your own mind.  blind faith.  losing track of names, labels, categories.  distorted sound.  an imperfection in a glass that twists the view.  loss of time.  a garish colour.  doors that open to nowhere.  lies.  an unnatural laugh.  jokes and tricks.  illusions.  a doorway.  a sculptor with a wild imagination.  limbs in impossible angles.  doing what’s fun, not what’s sensible.  fractals you can get lost in.

xii.  THE STRANGER.   wax figures.  a close approximation of a human face.  a borrowed appearance.  a strange smell.  glass eyes.  furs and pelts.  a dance.  a song of a choir.  the uncanny valley.  stitching yourself together.  the colours of a circus.  a puppet with no strings. mannequins.  glitter and sequin.  a stranger you’ve always known.  someone strange in the place of someone you knew.  stolen identities.  stolen skins.  a machine imitating humanity.  the anonymity of a service worker.  hiding in plain sight.  uncomfortable to look at.  a faked accent.  concealing.  forgetting who you are.  forgetting who others are.  a replacement no one notices.  images that look posed.  the only one seeing the false face of someone.

xiii.  THE VAST.   open spaces.  carnival rides going up and down.  fear of heights.  endless infinity around you.  your insignificance in an universe.  stomach turning at a drop.  fear of not the crash down but the moment you slip.  the sway of a cable car.  an adventure holiday.  losing track of where the surface is.  miles and miles of nothing around you. staring at the sky and feeling like you may fall into it.  loss of control.  a fall that doesn’t end in death.  glass floor to the view below.  terminal velocity.  the sound of wind in your ears.  a reach over the railing.  a jump from the top of the building.  falling into nothing.  feeling your feet let go of the ground. a leap of faith.  motion sickness.

xiv.  THE WEB.  undecipherable code.  a puppeteer holding the strings.  power over the weak-willed.  strings of fate.  manipulation.  an arranged accident.  a hundred minions doing your bidding.  cobwebs.  spiders.  a laid trap.  never voicing discomfort.  outwitting a cheater.  doing things without realising it.   red string across a corkboard.  finding something lost where you were sure you checked.  power over the unrealiability of chance.  watching others dance for you.  an entangled death.  a thousand tiny lengs and fangs.  shady forum threads.  something important gone missing.  suspiciously disregarded case.  a missing witness.  connections.  the world wide web.  power of victimhood.  gullibility.  no control over your own decisions.  an invisible leash.  mass psychology.  a horror film in the making.  scapegoat.  never remembering to ask for a name.

+  THE  EXTINCTION.   the end of an era.  apocalypse movies.  the alarms of warning systems.  a desolate landscape.  end of the world cults.  nihilism.  the last written history.  a changed world.  no survivours.  old prophecies.  a thousand predicted ends.  a new chapter.  an end with no escape.  catastrophes.  a calendar counting down.  breaking point.  overindulgence.

TAGGED BY:   @treppenwitzz & @zukunftsvision

TAGGING:    @godbanes ( kris or donovan )   ›   @mystizismus ( tree )   ›   @pavlikovskij   ›   @blckwells

[sieben9]

“unforgiven” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I'm watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I'd be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

Today on Once Upon a Time: Really Judgey Trees

Seriously, whatever mystical entity lives in that thing should probably re-examine its decision-making process, because for one, I would assume that everyone has the potential for evil (and the show's own philosophy seems to back me on this one) and also, more importantly, the baby didn't ask you anything you stupid tree.

Also, I'm sure there's a portion of you wondering what my opinion about That Thing near the end of the episode is, and honestly, I'll just let Nick take this one for me.

The only thing I will say on the matter is that a six month jump would have helped here. Not much, but it would have.

Anyway, on to the plot and me shouting at fictional characters under the cut.

OK, before I get into anything else, I have to give an amused nod to Rumple 100% commiting to the "death-death devil-devil evil-evil" look while lurking in a darkened cave over the ashes of a twice-killed dragon-shifter.

you have magic again, my dude, you can afford a coloured tie

Also, yes, deflecting annoyance with humour. Moving on.

As for the alleged main plot... looks like Snowing did a bad.

on a level from 1 to "made my kid's rattle look like the end of my evil sceptre" how extra are you?

Actually, I wouldn't mind someone clarifying if "lost her child" is meant in the literal "misplaced it" sense or the euphemistic, more depressing "that pregnancy did not end well" sense. Like... this is not something that I need to be kept in suspense over.

I'm fairly sure the flashback was meant to set up the background for that, but all I got was "judgey tree" and the fact that there seem to be at least two semi-competent guards in the Enchanted Forest; if I saw Snow and Charming running around with these three, I'd assume some kidnapping or mind-control debacle, which means I absolutely should not let them pass. Good on you, random bridge guards.

doesn't scream "trustworthy," does it?

Also, it's nice to know that potential for good and evil is determined prenatally. And by "nice" I mean "I hate it and am going to ignore it, thanks."

And I call this the "alleged" main plot, because while it sure seemed to be the focus, Snow and Charming sneaking around for unknown reasons and being uncharacteristically shady just... didn't grab my interest. At all. Sorry, guys.

What mainly came out of this plotline is the thing I mentioned earlier--that they hurt Maleficent greatly--and some rather sinister foreshadowing surrounding whatever Snow and Charming did and the way Emma is going to react to it. Going out on a limb here: it has something to do with Snow's and Mal's concurrent pregnancies, so it has to do with Emma; they won't tell her, she'll find out anyway, and shit's going to blow up in a major way.

Just throwing that out there.

Oh, also, Maleficent is alive again.

Which is fine. It's fine. Sometimes you kill off a character and then you realise you'd rather still have them around. I just wish "dead is dead" hadn't been established as such a Major Thing early in the show, because now this will bug me every time it happens.

In the slightly more interesting plot: Regina terrorises nine-year-olds.

"And you didn't shave!"

Look, pal, you know I love you, but maybe tone it down a little. Shouting a child into thinking harder pretty much never works, and I'm almost sure you know that.

Joking aside, I really enjoyed the scene where Regina went to apologise to Geppetto, by the way, in part because it clarifies the arc she seems to be on.

perhaps the true happy endings were the apologies we made along the way?

Put simply, I think an important part of this plotline is just a) Regina becoming the sort of person who would "deserve" a Happy Ending™ anyway or b) demonstrating that she already is. It also contrasts nicely with the scene earlier in the diner, where Cruella brings up Regina's past, so we get a reminder just how much she's changed since those days.

In completely unrelated news, I've been thinking about the concept of redemption a lot lately, and how it overlaps with, but is still different from atonement. It's been a weird weekend.

Anyway, there seems to be an actual lead on the Author now, which I... well, I have mixed feelings on that. Because on the one hand, that plot sounds pretty interesting, but I'm dreading another 4A situation where there's so much going on that it all just becomes impenetrable noise.

And, of course, there's that final scene with Snow, which I adored.

what is it with dramatically-lit conversations in the rain this season?

Less for the actual content of Snow's request, and much more for the spotlight it set on their relationship and, again, how much it has changed over the last... years? Months?

I'm also deeply impressed the acting from Ginnifer Goodwin in that moment where she asks Regina for help, and to keep a secret for her. There's so much going on in those words. She clearly has to psyche herself up to ask for this. She (silently) admits that her own inability to keep quiet caused Regina immense pain (even if it wasn't Snow who did the actual hurting.) And then she asks anyway, because that's where they are at, and because she trusts Regina to help her with this. And a kind of help that will probably be personally difficult for Regina, too.

Not sure what I think about the whole "help me cover up my mistakes" business, but as a character moment, it was great.

Tiny little non-sequitur appreciation for Belle “one wrong move and you’ll hop out as toads” Gold

the face of a woman with not a single ounce of patience left in her body

[themagiciansreccenter]

Author Spotlight: @under-the-shady-tree

Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

Well, my name is Lauren, I live in Indianapolis and groom dogs for a living. I have a very tight-knit family so I spend pretty much all my time hanging out with them and having fun being the “cool” aunt.

How long have you been writing for?

Since I learned how to write. My parents gave me a diary for my 6th birthday and from that moment on, I was writing all the time. I used to write stories about me and my friends and reading my stories during recess became a thing. I moved onto fanfiction once the internet came around and still continue to journal and write original fiction.

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

A Life in the Day. I hadn’t written anything for almost two years. Life got rocky for a bit and I just couldn’t do it. I would get ideas for stuff, even The Magicians, but nothing would come of it. But that episode got whatever was blocked in my brain knocked out and it’s been non-stop since then.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

Quentin. I just relate to him so much and understand how that brain could work. He comes really easy to me. Eliot also is one of my favorites, I find so much emotion and love buried under his persona and that is so much fun. Writing them together is just a joy. I also really like writing Margo and that one surprised me because I am so different from her, but like Eliot I’ve found what’s underneath all of her bravado to be so interesting to write.

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

I guess season 3 since it’s the most I have written about, but I’ll write where ever the inspiration takes me.

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

Right now my time is pretty much all focused on my timeline 23 fic, We Will All Be Changed, it’s kind of a monster of a story for me so it’s got most of my attention. But I have a few things brewing. More of the mosaic lifetime, kind of examining how Quentin, Eliot and Arielle worked as parenting team and how they dealt with her death. I’m also dying to write teenage Rupert!

How long is your “to do list”?

Too long!

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

That’s hard, I always hate picking favorites. I lean more toward Destiny Is Bullshit I think because it was my first big one and it’s what really got me going into writing again. I really found Quentin and Eliot’s voices working on it and found that I actually could write Margo. The response I got from it was so positive as well and it really gave me a confidence boost that I never had before. It also inspired more than just that one story (now 8 in the series) and gave me a way to fill in the blanks for the rest of the season and for their mosaic lifetime.

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

I would have to say my fic All That Remains is Love. It’s a 5+1 story dealing with death so it might be too depressing, but it’s all of my favorite things. It’s missing scenes we didn’t get to see, angst and Queliot falling in love very slowly. I also worked non stop on it once the idea hit me and it drove me a little insane until it was done. It emotionally drained me writing it so I just want to shove it at everyone and be like “LOVE THIS!!!”

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

It depends on the length of what I’m writing. For the shorter fics I usually have more of an abstract idea and a few lines of dialogue or a surprise ending in mind. I have a few playlists for certain moods. (I’m a little obsessed about having a soundtrack to everything I do in my life, not just writing) Then I just start working it out line by line.

For longer ones, it’s a much bigger process because I like to plan. I don’t even consider starting a multi-chapter fic unless I’ve worked out the beginning, middle and end and what the conflict is. I create a playlist that goes to that particular fic and that always sets a good tone for me. Then I break it down chapter by chapter and start writing. I get the bare bones out, like the dialogue and where they are. Then I add the inner thoughts and actions and emotions and just kind iron it all out.

Sometimes it changes a lot while I write, sometimes it sticks close to what I thought.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I’ve only been writing since midway through season 3 and haven’t stopped so I see myself just writing during both pretty consistently. As far as what will happen, it will only inspire more. I have a series that sticks very close to canon so I can get all my added scenes and further in-depth peek into the show. So that will only help that grow. And ideas that fit out of that bubble come along too and I just go with it.

I think it would be kind of fun to continue some of my season 4 speculation stuff right into au territory because I’m sure what I wrote won’t happen, so who knows.

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

Of fics that are finished, The Mess We Made. It was hard because I realized early on that I was writing a younger Quentin and Eliot than who they were in Destiny is Bullshit. I kind of struggled with getting them to fight, because I just spent months writing them with a lifetime together under their belt and a deep understanding of each other. The Mess We Made was them a few years into that lifetime so they were still learning things about each other and experiencing things for the first time. I ended up kind of leaning into that difficulty with getting them to fight and tried to amp up the fighting to a few big blow-ups.

My timeline 23 fic is quickly becoming my most challenging though, it’s basically 3 or 4 full-length fics that sometimes crossover and then all end up mashed together. It’s pretty challenging.

Are there any themes or tropes that you particularly like to explore in your writing?

Angst, angst and more angst, lol. I am also a sucker for deep connections between people, be it romantic or otherwise, and really expose the good, the bad and the ugly about those relationships. So you know, more angst. But happy endings are my favorite too.

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

I’m always inspired by all the other Magicians fanfiction writers (honestly, Magicians fanfiction is really the only fanfic I read right now)

Alice Sebold is probably my favorite writer. She has a way of writing emotion in a way that feels really real and honest to an almost uncomfortable degree. It’s almost too real. Also the authors of my youth, Ann M. Martin and Judy Blume, I wanted to write because of them.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

I am reading “Written in Blood” It’s a book looking into the death of Kathleen Peterson of Stairway fame. (I love true crime) Also, I’m actually reading The Magician King. My sister is reading the Magician’s books for the first time so I’m reading along with her so we can discuss. I also am keeping up on whatever comes up on AO3!

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

Keep writing, whether it’s good or bad, just get it out and you can build on it later but it needs to be out there to fix.

Cringe time:

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

Oh man, I don’t know, I sometimes think everything I write is just a repeat of the last thing lol. Looked, people are always looking at each other and it’s hard to come up with different ways to express that.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

I wrote an American Girl fanfic. My best friend and I traveled back in time to 1774 and went on an adventure with Felicity! I still have it, in a notebook in a box in my closet. I have two boxes (not huge boxes or anything) of old diaries, journals and notebooks full of my writing. My parents didn’t want to throw that away growing up.

Rapid Fire Round:

Self-edit or Beta? Self-edit

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes? All of the above!

Smut, Fluff or Angst? angst!!

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn? Slow burn, the slower the better

Favourite season? 3

Favourite episode? A life in the day

Favourite book(The Magicians books)? The Magician King

Three favourite words? Triskaidekaphobia, Loquacious, Fuck

Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.

[themagiciansreccenter]

Five @ Five: @under-the-shady-tree

As a part of our author spotlight, we’ve asked each writer to highlight 5 fics and tell us a little about their experience writing (or reading) them.

Destiny is Bullshit

“Because it is us!” he exclaimed. “I mean think about it. Jane created the time loops after my death. I asked why me and she never gave me a straight answer. Now I know it’s because she needed me there to get the key. I mean, I know I’ve always wanted to be some chosen one but does this make me one because holy shit El, it’s kind of fucked up. Like some destiny that I have no actual control over my life. What if everything I’ve ever done or felt wasn’t real because-”

“Ok Q!” Eliot came over and grabbed the sides of Quentin’s face him to force him to stop and look at him. “You’re spinning. I get it, your mind is blown right and tail spinning is kind of your thing when that happens, but I need you to take a breath.” Eliot could always break through Quentin's panic and reach him. Quentin stared into his eyes and took a deep breath. Eliot watched him intently and didn’t remove his hands. “Good, you good?”

“I’m good,” Quentin whispered. Eliot nodded, he was running his thumb gently close to Quentin’s ear and he relaxed a little into that touch.

“Good,” Eliot smiled. “Now, all this sounds really big when you put it like that, but destiny is bullshit.” Quentin blinked, a little surprised. “You told me that. Life and the choices we made brought us here, not some higher power or bigger plan. According to those books, you are the reason Jane was able to make the time loops, but it wasn’t because of Jane or some destiny. It was because you made a choice. You choose to give her the key because it was the right thing to do. She needed it then and we able to get it to us now in the end so it doesn't matter that you gave it to her then. You did the right thing, even though it brought you pain. That’s some like hero shit, Quentin.” Quentin stared at him unblinking. Just as quickly as his panic had come on, Eliot’s words washed it away. How he was always able to do that, Quentin would never know.

—

This was what brought me back into writing again. After watching A Life in a Day my mind could not stop racing. Then with the next episode, I wanted to know how they went from “How do we remember that?” too cuddly life partners who were completely at ease. So out came this fic, set right in between those two moments I wanted to really explore what could have happened and how Quentin and Eliot came to terms with the fact that they lived an entire life together. I also wanted to see Margo’s side of things and almost made her story a separate fic, but wised up and mixed it all together. I have a lot of feelings about this one and it means a lot to me.

Make It All Quit Around Me

“Come on Q,” Eliot practically hummed as he nuzzled his nose in the spot above Quentin’s ear. “Have some fun with me.” Eliot’s breath against his ear sent a shiver down Quentin’s spine and he relaxed against him. “Arielle and Rupert won’t be back for at least another hour, think of all the fun we could have before they got back.” Again not waiting for Quentin to try to get them back to work, Eliot pulled Quentin to the ground with him. Eliot lay on his back in the soft grass next to the mosaic and captured Quentin’s lips in a slow and lazy kind of kiss. Quentin smiled against his lips and then gave in, it wasn’t worth the fight and his growing erection wasn’t going to go away soon anyway,

“You win,” Quentin said before taking Eliot’s bottom lip between his teeth. Eliot let out a low chuckle and bucked his hips against Quentin. Quentin sucked in a breath and ground his hips back in response and he felt Eliot’s fingers tangle in his hair.

“Q," Eliot breathed in his ear and Quentin closed his eyes. His name coming from Eliot’s lips always sounded different to him than anyone else and the feeling it sent through his body now was beyond erotic. He took Eliot’s face into his hands as they thrust into each other and kissed him hard enough to leave them both breathless

—

I want to be careful when talking about this one because I don’t want to spoil anything, but this came from me thinking If I wrote the show, what would the first scene of season 4 be? And this would basically be my answer. I came up with the ending first and actually wrote three different versions of it. The first version was them talking about their feelings, and it was horrible. Then I tried a full-on sex and it was….bad. I am not very comfortable writing sex scenes, it’s never been something I’ve been great at. I sometimes get down on myself because I don’t write it when this fandom is filled with some much talent in that department. This was me trying to step out of my comfort zones to see if I could do it. I finally found a way to write around my discomfort and come up with something I felt was pretty good and I ended up super proud. Also, the song that the title comes from, A Kind of Hunger by Penny and Sparrow, is one of my absolute favorite songs ever and I had it on repeat while I wrote this. It’s such a haunting and amazing song.

Our Mistakes, they were bound to be made

“I know for me it was different,” Alice said with a half-hearted shrug. “I loved being a niffin, and deep down it was still me doing all of that. You on the other hand,” She gestured to Eliot, whose eyes turned a little darker like he was prepared for an accusation. “You didn’t choose to be a monster and deep down it wasn’t you doing those things. You were just along the ride.” Eliot’s eyes drifted away to stare off into nothing. Alice could only guess the kinds of memories he must have from the time the monster had control and she shivered at the thought. “But you did make a choice once. You chose to shoot the monster.” Now he looked back at her and Alice nodded.

“I was there; you didn’t hesitate. You did what you thought would save him.” A haunted kind of look came over Eliot and his whole body sagged with guilt. “I get it because I became a niffin to save him too and then he almost killed himself trying to save me.” Eliot pulled his leg tighter to his chest, his eyes wide and she could see them starting to shine with unshed tears. She leaned forward a bit feeling like maybe she could actually get through to him.

—

This came from my hope that we get more interaction between Alice and Eliot. I think they now have a lot in common and I would love to see them come together a bit. I came up with the talk that Alice gives Eliot first and it took me a little bit to figure out how to get there. I thought at first she would talk to Eliot while Quentin had fallen asleep, but it didn’t feel right. Then I got the image in my head of her on this cold deserted beach with a grey cloudy sky. Also of her smoking a cigarette which was kind of a visual link to Eliot that I thought was cool. I also got the idea of her walking through this house and seeing everyone but no one really seeing her until she’s in a room with Eliot. And Eliot isolated and everyone talking about him but him ignoring all of them kind of just like Alice. Writing this was one of those rare moments where I got the idea and it came out just how it was in my head and I feel really happy with the outcome.

The Mess We Made

“I know where I am in your heart,” Quentin said softly and Eliot smiled. It was something that Eliot would always say in the early days of Quentin and Arielle’s courtship. When Quentin was racked with guilt that he was hurting Eliot unnecessarily. No matter how many times Eliot would say it was ok, Quentin didn’t believe him.

“I know I where I am in your heart Quentin Coldwater,” he said on the night when Quentin realized he loved Arielle. “I also know how big your heart is, it’s ok to let someone else in. There’s more than enough room”.

Quentin pulled Eliot to him and kissed him. He clutched at the side of Eliot’s face, kissing him with more ferocity than he had in a while and he could almost feel Eliot’s surprise before he dropped down to his knees and returned the same intensity. For just that moment, in the quiet twilight of the morning, all of their problems and walls they had built were gone. The distance between them seemed to have grown some temporary bridge and they were just them again. Two out of time questers, trying to make it through this together. The rest of it didn’t matter.

—

So, a few chapters into writing Destiny is Bullshit, I pretty much knew that I wanted to write about the whole mosaic timeline. My plan during most of it was to write about their first year and the lovely slow burn relationship that I live for. But when it finally came time for me to write I didn’t want to write about them getting together. I thought it would be a little too close to Destiny is Bullshit since that was kind of them getting back together. I wanted to write from a more established point in their relationship and try to figure out what that would like. Quentin and Eliot don’t have a traditional relationship and I love that, but I’m sure that wasn’t an easy road to figure out. It was originally going to be a lot shorter, and a certain character was going to be much more of a “villain” but once I decided to set it right after Rupert was born, the whole story took a turn. Even good relationships struggle sometimes and it doesn’t have to mean you’re about break up. But life gets hard and complicated. Especially being out of time, in Fillory, when all they had was each other and suddenly they have a family and a community and whole life. It seemed like that would be a make it or break it moment where they had to really decide to not only commit to the quest but to the life, they were building while they worked.I was also heavily inspired by the song Are You With Me by Nilu, beautiful song, the line “Right now I need you here, I need you to stay strong, to remind me where I came from and where I belong”, jumped out at me and really got this whole thing going. It feels very Queliot to me. This whole story turned out so much deeper and more meaningful than I thought it would and I love it for that.

The Winds of Change Will Change Your Mind

“How long has that been going on with Eliot?” Quentin didn’t move, but she could see his shoulders tense.

“That’s something I’m not going to tell you about.” He said looking over at her. Alice shut her eyes for a second and took a breath.

“That’s fine,” she said. “I was just going to say that I’m not surprised and it kind of makes sense.” Quentin looked surprised.

“Okay,” He said slowly.

“For what it’s worth.” She said folding her hands in her lap. “It doesn’t bother me that you’re happy.” It was the best she could do, and even though it wasn’t much, Quentin seemed to understand that at least. He nodded, his face softening in a familiar look of friendship.

“Thank you.” He said. Alice nodded and quickly stood, the need to get away from this conversation pushing her toward the stairs before she fully registered that she was going. She looked back over her shoulder at Quentin. He watched her for a moment, then went back to his book.

As Alice walked up the stairs that led to the deck of the Muntjac, she felt a little better. Like wishing Quentin well had eased some of her pain, even just for a few seconds. Stepping out onto the deck, she made sure to steer clear of where Margo and Eliot were talking. Standing at the bow of the ship she closed her eyes and tried to imagine what it would feel like to be that ordinary girl she used to dream of when she went sailing. What it would be like to have never had magic and to be free.

—

I’m sure it’s clear if you read anything by me that I love filling in the stuff we don’t see. When it started to become apparent that there was probably not going to be an onscreen mention that Quentin and Eliot had lived a whole life together, I wanted to write the other characters figuring it out. I also have used this as a way to establish how I write each character. Each chapter is kind of a character study with a little revel on Quentin and Eliot in the end. And it’s just been really fun to write, trying to figure out who knew what and when and trying to puzzle piece it all in with everything that went on last season. I especially enjoyed writing the Alice chapter and the Penny chapter is what inspired my timeline 23 fic. I have just one more to go, Josh’s chapter is working itself out and I think it will be a really fun ending!