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justagalwhowrites · 1 year ago

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So this may be awkward but I saw your dbf fic and thought what about best friend's dad? Obviously it would either have to be a no outbreak au where Sarah is in her 20s or several years after the show when Ellie is an adult. Maybe the oc is a few years older than Ellie or Sarah or whichever you choose. Maybe I just haven't read enough TLOU smut but this is one I haven't seen and I would love to read something like this!

OMG Hi bestie!

So THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT WITH THIS??? You sent this in FOREVER ago but I've been so hung up on Lavender and Beskar Doll I just didn't get around to this.

Anyway, HERE'S THE ASK FINALLY! I hope you like it!

UPDATE A/N: This is now a full series (has been for a while but I just realized I never linked to the master list from here.) If you'd like to read more, you can find it here.

New in Town

When you move to Austin for work, your best friend Sarah recommends that you hang out with her dad, Joel, to get to know the area. Sarah just never mentioned the fact that her dad is just your type.

Pairing: BFD!Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT! Fingering, oral (male receiving), protected P in V sex. Legal age gap (Reader is 35 Joel is 47.) No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 5.6k (wtf is my problem)

You should have made Sarah text you a picture at the very least.

The bar was starting to get busy and you’d realized about 15 minutes earlier that you had no fucking clue what your best friend’s dad looked like.

“You’re sure it’s not weird that I hang out with your dad?” You asked Sarah the morning you left town.

“It’s not weird,” she waved you off, her curls bouncing. “Promise. He’s not like… an old dad. He’s fun. You get along with me so you’ll get along with him. It’s at least something so you’re not stuck in Austin not knowing anybody.”

“Yeah,” you nodded and then sighed, looking at your coffee. One last cup of the good stuff in Seattle before your flight in a few hours.

There was a knot in your stomach at the thought of leaving, now that it was actually here. You’d been in Seattle for two years now after moving here for work. Sarah was the only other woman in your department - not to mention the only other person under 40. She might have been 10 years younger than you but the two of you had become fast friends. She’d been there for a year - she’d started fresh out of college - when you came aboard and was kind enough to let you in on the office politics.

“So fucking glad to have another girl around here,” she said after you’d been there about two weeks, her arm looped through yours as you walked to a restaurant down the street from your office for lunch. “Lunch just isn’t as good with old dudes…”

Making friends outside of the office was just as awkward as you remembered and it wasn’t long before you and Sarah were hanging out all the time outside of work, too. She was probably going to be the thing you missed most about Seattle.

But the promise of a big promotion - setting up your own team at the new branch of your firm in Austin - was too good to pass up.

“Hey,” she put her hand on your wrist from across the small table. “You’re going to kill it down there. Just remember to demand me when the time comes to add a junior copywriter.”

“Well, simply no one else will do,” you smiled a little. She laughed.

You finished your coffee and Sarah dropped you off at the airport - your office paying to ship all your things down - and you flew off to your new life in Texas.

After a week of settling in, you finally caved and reached out to Sarah’s dad. She told you to just text him and you kind of hoped he wouldn’t respond. Once the ball was in his court, you’d be off the hook. If he never responded and you never met the guy, Sarah could hardly hold it against you.

“Hi! Is this Joel Miller?” You texted originally, following it up with your name and - just in case Sarah hadn’t bothered to tell him you were going to be texting - some indication that you weren’t a total stranger. “I just moved to town and Sarah told me to text you.”

“There,” you said to yourself, taking a sip of wine as you sat back on your couch. “Done. Not my problem any….”

Your phone lit up on your coffee table and you groaned. Of course he texted back. Of course he texted back fucking immediately.

“Hi,” he said. “Sarah mentioned you might text. Said you might need someone to show you around town. Want to grab a drink later this week?”

You rapped your fingers against the globe of your glass, the wine lush and red.

“Sure,” you said. “I don’t start work until next week, so just let me know when and where works for you and I’ll be there!”

You made plans to meet up two days later. You’d showed up a few minutes early, wanting to get the lay of the land before you met a stranger in a bar.

Joel, it seemed, was a bit late. You kept looking up at the door, waiting to see someone who looked something like Sarah walk in. But so far, there wasn’t anyone who fit the bill. A few guys who looked like they were UT students deciding to check out something further from campus, four guys who who definitely had just gotten off motorcycles, one man who was almost stupid hot and looked about 10 years too young to be Sarah’s dad and a guy about your age with a date.

You glanced at your phone. 9:13. At what point did you call it? Maybe try to pick up the hot guy who seemed to be hovering on his own at the bar. You hadn’t gotten laid in a while and you’d at least done your hair and makeup, even if you hadn’t tried to look like you were looking for a hookup.

Your phone screen hadn’t fully dimmed yet when it lit up bright, vibrating with Joel’s name on the caller ID. You sighed and answered.

“Hello?” You pressed your free hand against your ear, trying to drown out the sound of the bar behind you, but it sounded noisy on his end, too.

“Hi,” he said, a bit of a Texas twang in his voice. “Just wanted to make sure you were still plannin’ on comin’ out tonight…”

“Yeah,” you laughed a little. “I was wondering the same about you, I’m here…”

“Where?” He said. “Don’t see you…”

You started looking around then, too, looking at every face at every table around you before you settled on… the stupid hot guy at the bar.

Who looked too young to have a kid Sarah’s age.

Who had a phone pressed to his ear.

Who was now staring at you.

You raised a hand and smiled awkwardly, giving him a small wave.

He looked surprised for a moment before hanging up his phone, grabbing his beer from the bar, and heading for your table.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, setting his drink down across from you and taking his seat. “I didn’t mean to keep you waitin’, I was just expecting someone Sarah’s age…” His eyes went wide for a second. “Not that you look old or anythin’, just… Not what I was expecting.”

“Yeah, Sarah was the baby of the Seattle office,” you smiled a little. “She’s the best though. Thank God for her, I’d have been so bored there without her.”

“Yeah,” he smiled and nodded. “She is the best.”

Up close, Joel was still stupid hot. Uncomfortably hot. It was not fair how hot he was for him to be off limits because he was your best friend’s dad. His hair was dark and a little shaggy and you had to fight the urge to brush an unruly curl back from his brow. His eyes were the warmest brown with a light to them that made you want to just stare at him for a while. His crooked smile with one dimple, his slightly patchy beard, his unreasonably sculpted arms for a man who had to have at least a decade on you unless he was a teenager when Sarah was born. If you hadn’t met him this way, you’d be trying to get him home for at least a one night stand. But he was your best friend’s dad. Even if he made your core tighten and heat pool around your hips.

It turned out, you and Joel had more in common than you’d expected. You liked the same music and he knew some good live music spots in town. You were both into hiking - and both agreed that the views in this part of the country would be kind of lacking compared to the Pacific Northwest. You both liked trying to find the spiciest food in town and eating it as a matter of principle.

Of course, you hadn’t spent much time with men the age you THOUGHT Joel was going to be. Your only experience with men in their 50s was at work and that usually involved showing them how to save a word document as a PDF. You’d gone into this expecting to sit awkwardly with the guy for about an hour before going your separate ways. But you were pretty sure he was in his mid 40s, the same age as a lot of the guys you’d gone out with back in Seattle, and the more drinks you had the harder it was to remember that you weren’t on a date. You were hanging out with your best friend’s dad. She probably had to beg him to meet up with you, he probably had a girlfriend he’d much rather be spending time with on a Friday night instead of his daughter’s friend who was new in town.

But he seemed happy enough to stay for hours. The two of you were laughing over a particularly bad movie you’d somehow both seen - Giant Spider Invasion - when the bar announced last call.

“Shit,” Joel looked at his watch, clamping his hand over it after a second. “Didn’t realize how late it got. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take up your whole damn night…”

“No, I’m sorry,” you waved him off, reaching for your phone for the first time in hours to try and order an Uber. “I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than entertain me.”

“Not exactly,” he half smiled at you. That fucking dimple. “Don’t really got a thirvin’ social life. I get the feeling this arrangement was as much for me as it was you, knowin’ Sarah.”

“She’s cunning, that one,” you said, putting in your destination address. You groaned. “Shit!”

“What?” Joel asked.

“Surge pricing,” you sighed. “Come ON, it’s almost 2 a.m., it can’t be that busy…”

“It’s homecomin’ weekend at the school,” he shrugged. “Everyone’s in town drinking.”

“That’ll do it,” you sighed, bracing yourself to spend almost $100 on a car ride home.

“I can give you a ride,” he said. You looked up from your phone, frowning. “I’m good to drive.”

“I don’t want to put you out,” you said, about to push the button anyway.

“You’re not,” he said. “Trust me.”

***

Joel was very nearly in over his head with you.

Every part of him was practically screaming “mistake, mistake, mistake, you are a big fucking mistake!”

You were Sarah’s best friend.

You were more than a decade younger than him.

You were starting a new job and a new life and he really shouldn’t be trying to date someone he’d just hold back.

YOU WERE SARAH’S BEST FRIEND.

But none of that seemed to matter. He was damn near ready to kiss whatever asshole at Uber came up with surge pricing. He’d never been happier for an excuse to give someone a ride home.

It had been years - at least - since he’d felt like this about anyone. He’d known you for hours, no time at all, but it felt like years. Like he could say anything to you and you’d understand it. You were obviously smart, so fucking smart. After talking about movies with you for five minutes he was half convinced you saw an entirely different movie than he had, talking about allegories and symbolism and holding onto little lines he wasn’t sure anyone else would notice or think about twice. He wanted to see if you’d let him get to know you that way, if you’d have any interest in trying to know him that way. Fuck, he wanted to know you.

It didn’t help that he’d spotted you the second he was in the bar, absently turning your glass in your fingers, looking at one of the University of Texas themed Bud Light posters on the wall like you were examining it, your eyebrows drawn together, your mind clearly somewhere else entirely. You were fucking gorgeous. Gorgeous in a way that it was a problem, it was distracting, it made him not want to think about or look at or consider anything else. It took conscious effort to not stare at you. When he hadn’t known who you were, he’d been praying Sarah’s friend would stand him up so he could go talk to you. Fuck, he wanted to talk to you.

And then you answered the phone.

And you were Sarah’s best friend.

Fuck.

“You settlin’ in OK and all?” He asked after you gave him your address and he programmed it into Google Maps.

“Mostly,” you nodded. “It’d be better if I could actually get a maintenance guy to come out to my place but…”

Joel frowned.

“What’s goin’ on?”

“The garbage disposal has a hell of a leak,” you sighed. “I don’t know shit about plumbing so I’m afraid to try to fix it on my own. And the ceiling fan in my bedroom seems like it’s trying break out from its drywall prison whenever I turn it on so that’s been pretty useless. Maintenance keeps saying they’ll come by but they never do. I don’t think I’ll stay in that place longer than a year, this is what I get for apartment hunting from across the country.”

“I could look at it for you,” Joel shrugged before he was smart enough to stop himself.

“No,” you laughed and shook your head. “You’ve done enough for me as it is, I cannot ask you…”

“You didn’t ask, I offered,” he said. “I’m a contractor, my area of expertise is fixin’ shit shoddy builders fucked up. You have plans tomorrow? I can come by, take a look.”

Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. That’s what he was. Fucking stupid.

“Tomorrow would be great, actually,” you said. “I’m just about unpacked but I have a whole box of under the sink kitchen stuff that’s still sitting on my table and driving me insane. But you’re sure I’m not putting you out? I swear, it’s nothing that urgent, I just need to light a fire under management’s ass…”

“Not puttin’ me out,” he smiled a little at the idea of that. Fuck, you were doing him a favor, giving him an excuse to see you again.

Stupid.

Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid STUPID.

SARAH’S. BEST. FRIEND.

“Early afternoon OK?” He asked. “Unless you gotta be somewhere…”

“Yeah, so far my vibrant social life here includes you and the barista down the street who now knows I prefer my lattes skim,” you laughed. “I’ll be around, come over whenever works for you. I hugely appreciate it, you have no idea.”

He watched you go into your apartment when he dropped you off, a townhouse that had definitely been built in the last five years. He sighed and shook his head. Shoddy fucking craftsmanship, things breaking that fast. He’d help you find a decent place when your lease was up.

As a friend.

Because he could be friends with you. That would be fine. Encouraged by his meddling but well-meaning daughter who’d arranged this to begin with. Friends help friends apartment hunt. He could be your friend.

He fucked his hand before he passed out, trying to think of anything besides grabbing you and kissing you at the bar as he did.

“Hey Dad! How’d it go last night?”

His eyes were still bleary as he read the text from his daughter the next morning.

“Hey Baby Girl,” he wrote back, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. How was it already 10 a.m.? How was Sarah a morning person? She sure as shit didn’t get that from him. “Went fine. Your friend seems nice.”

She wrote back immediately.

“She’s the BEST. Seriously. Give her like 5 minutes and she’s going to show you the best food in town, she always found the coolest restaurants up here, places no one else from the office even knew existed.”

Joel smiled a little at that. He’d heard a lot about you over the last few years, now that he thought about it. He wasn’t big on social media so he only ever saw pictures Sarah texted him - usually a selfie in front of some tourist attraction as she stuck her tongue out at him - so he’d never had a face to put to the stories. But you’d become an integral part of her life in Seattle.

You’d started as a “cool new coworker.” Then you got a name. And then you just became a “we.” “We went to this awesome new restaurant.” “We checked out this concert last night.” “We decided to go up the Space Needle because screw it, why not be a tourist in your own city sometimes?” He never needed to ask who she meant, he knew she was talking about you.

He just hadn’t known it was you.

Which was another reason this was stupid. He could not even consider doing something with you, even just in his head, not when you were that close with his daughter.

“You guys going to hang out again?” She asked. “I think you’d be friends!”

Joel ground his teeth for a second.

“Don’t need you to find me friends just because Uncle Tommy got married.”

Sarah replied right away.

“Well if you did it yourself maybe I wouldn’t,” she said. “And she needs friends, too. Plus this is really all for my benefit, if she can swing me coming to the new Austin office and y’all are friends, we can all just hang out together. Way easier to coordinate my schedule.”

Joel laughed a little.

“Going to help her with something at her apartment today,” he sent back. “We’ll see if she wants me around after that.”

Joel managed to keep from going to your house the second he was dressed. This wasn’t a problem he’d had since he was a fucking teenager, obsessed with some girl from his bio class. He was looking at his watch every five minutes, hoping it was reasonable to leave his house and go to yours.

He called it at 11:45. He figured he’d bring you lunch. You said you liked spicy food - the spicier the better - and if your garbage disposal was leaking, chances are you couldn’t cook much. You’d need to eat something. It was the polite thing to do, he reasoned.

Joel went to his favorite taco truck and got a little bit of almost everything. It was way too much food for two people but fuck it, he didn’t care. As long as it was something you’d like, he really didn’t give a shit.

You were in some kind of matching not quite sweatsuit when you opened the door, the tan fabric looking so fucking soft.

“Hey!” You smiled broadly, like him coming over made your day. You looked at your phone screen. “Damn you really mean early afternoon don’t you?”

He glanced at his watch. 12:23.

“Figured you could use some lunch,” he held up the takeout bag. “Didn’t think you were able to cook much, disposal outta commission…”

“Are you really bringing me food when you came over to do me a favor?” You asked, brows raised. He shrugged. “They weren’t kidding about that whole southern gentleman thing, were they?”

“Gotta give you pretty things some reason to put up with us,” he smiled a little. You smiled back and held the door open for him.

Your place was sparsely decorated but comfortable and it looked like you were just about unpacked. Joel set the bag of tacos on the small table off your kitchen and you staked your claim to the spiciest one.

“If it’s too hot for you, no shame in tappin’ out,” he teased, unwrapping his own taco.

“I eat men with low spice tolerance for breakfast,” you waved him off. “This’ll be cake.”

You took a bite and chewed for a second before your eyes went wide. Joel tried not to laugh at you.

“Holy shit,” you held a hand in front of your full mouth as you spoke, your eyes watering. “That’s so hot! How the fuck…”

“Yeah, you northerners don’t know what you’re dealin’ with,” Joel smirked. “Welcome to the big leagues.”

“Oh, it’s on now, Miller,” you said, wincing a little. “I’ve got this, you have no idea…”

He laughed but you finished the taco, eyes watering and face sweating, the whole way.

“Alright, think you’ve earned some handyman work,” he smiled a little. You chugged water, somehow managing to look good as you did. “Kitchen sink right?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Run the water for longer than 30 seconds and it leaks like crazy…”

He did as you said, opening the cabinet below. You had a pot inside to catch any stray water. He turned the faucet on and after less than a minute, water was gushing out from the pipe leading down to the disposal. He shut it off.

“Good news is, it ain’t the disposal itself,” he said, putting his tools down beside the cabinet. “Looks like they just replaced it and did a shit job setting it up…”

He got down on the ground, lying down so his upper body was in the cabinet just as you came and perched on the counter nearby, watching him closely.

“Let me know what I can do to help,” you said. “I feel bad, you coming over, bringing me food, fixing my shit…”

“Don’t,” he said, frowning up at the plumbing. “Got me outta my house… can you hand me the wrench that’s in the lower part of the tool kit, the adjustable one?”

He heard you slide off the counter to the floor and rifle through his tools before handing him the wrench, your fingertips brushing his when you did. His heart sped up. Fuck this was stupid.

You settled in on the floor near him, near enough that he’d feel your leg brush his when he adjusted while he worked. You asked him about his favorite band and he asked you about yours. About favorite foods. About the one place on Earth you’d go if money and time were no object.

“Alright, think I’ve got it,” he said. “Do me a favor, turn the water on…”

“You sure?” You asked, a frown in your voice. “Don’t you want to sit up first?”

“I’m confident,” he smiled a little.

“Alright, turning it on now.”

And his confidence was correct.

For a minute.

And then it was like the floodgates opened and Joel was suddenly soaked.

“Cut it!”

You scrambled to obey as he got out from under the sink, dripping wet, shirt soaked.

“Shit,” he looked down at himself.

“I am so sorry!” Your hands were over your mouth, eyes wide. “One minute, let me grab you a towel…”

You ran down the hall and came back with a small pile of towels handing them to him one by one. He started with himself and then put towels down below the sink.

“I’m so sorry, Joel,” your eyes were so wide and earnest.

“Not your fault,” he said, getting up, feeling like more than a bit of an idiot. “Your maintenance people just fucked something up big time…”

“I have a washer and dryer,” you said quickly. “Let me wash that for you…”

“Thanks,” he said and he peeled off the wet shirt and handed it to you. “Appreciate it…”

He was so busy trying not to look at you that he hadn’t realized that you were staring at him, looking up him slowly, your lower lip in your teeth. Like you were interested in him, too. Like you were trying to keep your hands to yourself, too.

Your eyes met his. This was stupid, this was very very stupid. You were standing close to him, so fucking close to him.

“Joel,” you breathed.

He was kissing you before he could talk himself out of it.

***

You weren’t sure if he kissed you or you kissed him but you didn’t really care because fuck, he was touching you. Your arms went around his neck and his hands went to your hips, pulling your body flush against his as he all but devoured you.

Like he’d done nothing but think of this since the night before, too.

You were up for an hour after you got home, cursing your best friend for having such a hot dad and trying to not think about what would have happened if you’d dragged him into your apartment when he dropped you off as you ran your vibrator over your needy clit.

Because how could you face Sarah if you’d fucked yourself to the thought of her dad?

But you weren’t worrying about that now.

Instead, you were leading Joel blindly through your apartment, to your bedroom. Your fingers tangled in his hair - wet from the explosive leak in your sink - as you kissed him. You pulled him against you as you sat back on your bed, crawling back toward the middle of it and tugging him along with you so he was hovering over you.

“You sure…” he began but you nodded so fast that he didn’t even finish asking, just smiling for a second before kissing you again.

His tongue was insistent inside your mouth, like he was trying to reach every part of you, but you liked it. The hot, aching need gathering in you liked it, liked that he was demanding and hungry for you to the point that, when his tongue slid back behind his own teeth it’s because he wanted to bite your lip with a growl.

You squirmed out of the soft wrap that was covering your arms and he pulled at your tank top, peeling it away from you and leaving you in just your lacy bralette you liked to wear before you really got dressed for the day. His hand cupped your breast, palm brushing your firm nipple, and you moaned. Joel slipped his hand into the lace and touched the bare skin below and you involuntarily thrust your hips up toward him. He smiled against your mouth at that.

“So eager,” he said, teasing.

“We both have way too much on,” you panted against him.

“Let me help you with that,” he slid his fingers below the band of the bralette and tugged it up and over your head, leaving you naked from the waist up. “Jesus Christ…”

“What?” You asked, breathless.

“And I thought you were gorgeous before,” his eyes went over you slowly, tracing the edges of you. “Fucking hell…”

You smiled and arched into kissing him again, fumbling with the button and zipper on his jeans as you did. When you got his pants open, you slipped your hand inside his underwear, finding his thick, hard cock and stroking him. It was gentle at first, getting a feel for him and fuck he was hard as steel below your touch. He was also easily the biggest cock you’d ever held, so thick and long you knew you were going to be feeling him for hours after you were done.

Not that you minded. You wanted nothing more than to walk around with a reminder of him inside you for a while.

Joel’s hands ran over you until he reached your pants and underwear. He pulled them off together, pausing just before your panties would be so far down that they would expose your dripping, aching slit. He pulled his lips from you.

“This really what you want?” He asked quietly, his eyes searching yours.

“I’ve been wanting this since last night,” you smiled a little at him.

“Fuck, I was hopin’ you’d say that.”

He pulled what remained of your clothes off and cast it aside, nudging you down so you were flat on the bed. He ran his finger over your slit, dipping into you just enough to make your entrance try to grip him but not enough that it gave your body something to hold. You moaned.

“Don’t worry, beautiful,” he pressed his finger against your clit, rubbing in circles, making you moan. “Gonna take real good care of you…”

He trailed his finger back down and sank it into you as his thumb pressed against your clit, making your body go tight around him. You rocked your hips against him and arched your back and you heard the smile in his voice as your hands flew to your comforter, knotting in the fabric there.

“There you go,” he said softly, kissing over your jaw to your throat, nipping and sucking you as he went. “Fuck you’re tight, need you to relax and come for me so I can get inside you…”

He added another finger, hooking them up into you, pressing into your inner walls and making you get tense and tight before you came hard around him, pussy throbbing so hard it almost hurt.

“You’re gonna feel so goddamn good,” he groaned as he slid his fingers from you. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear and pulled them down with his jeans before he stroked himself, his fingers still slick with you as he did.

“One sec,” you managed to find your voice and you stretched back to reach into your nightstand and grabbed a box of condoms. You needed to open it and pull one foil packet apart from the rest. “Sorry, haven’t needed one of these in a bit…”

“Won’t hear me arguin’,” he half smiled at you. Fuck, that fucking dimple. You opened the condom and slid it on his tip, watching his chest heave as you did. You looked up at him through your eyelashes as you took his covered tip in your mouth, wrapping your lips around him and using them to unroll the condom the rest of the way onto his thick, hard length. “Fuck, beautiful, tryin’ to rush me through this?”

You just sucked him for a moment, his head lodged at the back of your throat as you started to work his shaft with your mouth. His hand flew to your head, fingers twisting in your hair, as you went. He moaned as your tongue pressed against the underside of him before curling around his shaft. His grip on your hair tightened and you picked up the pace, all but choking yourself on his cock, not able to help yourself, until he pulled you back off him sharply, abruptly.

“Really don’t want things to be over that fast,” he panted, tilting his head back toward the ceiling for a moment. “Fucking hell you’re good at that…”

You smirked a little and he pushed you back down onto the bed before lining his cock up with your entrance. He paused and you moaned, rocking your hips against him, your whole body feeling like a spring that was coiled a bit too tight. His hands splayed wide over your thighs for a moment before sliding over your stomach, your breasts, back down again.

“Still want this?” He asked, voice needy.

“Want you,” you panted, nodding. “Need you, need you inside me…”

“Good,” he said, his large hands spread on your thighs, holding you open for him, watching where he was entering you as his cock split you open. He moaned, panting for breath. “Fuck, gonna be addicted to you, just fuckin’ know it…”

You pressed your hips up into him as he filled you totally, collapsing onto you as his hips met yours. He stilled in you, giving you a moment to adjust to the delicious stretch of him inside you. He was big enough that - if you hadn’t been so desperate for him, if he hadn’t already made you come once - you were sure that it would feel like he was breaking you in two. Like this, though, it was all pleasure with a hint of pain, just enough to make you feel so fucking full you thought you might burst with it.

He started slowly but forcefully, dragging his cock back so only his head was inside you, his pace so slow that you felt his head on every ridge inside you. But he thrust himself back into you hard, like he couldn’t bear not feeling you again immediately, like being without you was almost painful.

But he increased his pace, thrusting himself deep into you and pulling back before changing again, more rocking his hips down into you than fully thrusting into you. It meant he kept almost constant pressure on your clit, that the head of him was all but permanently against the spot inside that you immediately sought out whenever you used your vibrator. Your back arched into him and your pussy was so tight around him you were certain you couldn’t get any more wanting.

“Fuck, need to feel you come while I’m inside you,” he managed, sliding his arms below you to press your bare chest against him. “Please, Beautiful, fuck, please come for me…”

“Joel!” You cried out his name as you came around him and he fucked into you for another moment before you felt him throb inside as he spilled into the condom.

He collapsed on top of you, panting for breath and you ran your hands over his broad back. After a minute, he kissed you gently and pulled himself from your wrung out body and lying beside you.

“So,” he was still short of breath. “Got anythin’ around here I can come by and fix tomorrow?”

You laughed a little, trying not to think of the fact that you’d just fucked your best friend’s dad. Trying not to think of the fact that there was no way this could be a one time thing.

“Oh, I’m sure I can think of something,” you said. “I’m sure I can think of a lot of things.”

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #smut fic #joel miller smut #bfd!joel #one shot

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irlcats-bracket · 1 year ago

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BRACKET 2 FINALS 1

SUMMER versus BUMPER

SUMMER

She’s a Siberian, and she’s submitter's emotional support animal she’s such a good baby and they would kill for her! She has a whole host of chronic health issues but she’s handling it like a trooper. Beloved by all friends family and vet staff she deserves the world!!

PROPAGANDA

BUMPER

he is owned by connoreatspants famous twitch streamer he once bit austin show who is gay so he is maybe a little homophobic but submitter thinks he got over it as an adult. was found on the side of the highway by will neff. he's gray. they don't know what else they can say about bumper. he used to be really tiny and there's plushies of him

PROPAGANDA

also @conarcoin's bumper plushie

here's grownup bumper

here's bumper with a bowtie

and here's bumper snuggling with jschlatt's cat jambo :)

look how small. please ignore mr j schlatt

#polls #cat #cats #catfight two #catfight two finals!!#I AM A FOOL #FOR SOME REASON I THOUGHT MY TIME IS EARLIER THAN UTC AND NOT LATER #DESPITE ACTUALLY KNOWING WHERE UTC TIME IS AND WHERE I LIVE

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lanadelray-gurl · 10 months ago

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''My heart is, and always will be, yours''

Singer!Austin butler x Bandmate!fem!reader

Warning: Angst,fighting,cussing,hidden love,fluff,soft smut,p n v,fingering,biting,crying,falling in love(really a friends/enemies to lovers kind of thing)

Summary: you and Austin had started a band with a few other friends back in high school.You played bass and he play guitar,you both sang together. But what happens after you start to fall in love with him but his new found fame has gotten to his head?

You had always been interested in music,you grew up with it. Your mom played the piano and your father played the bass which he would go on to pass down to you,you didn’t have a club for music in your high school so you decided to make a post on your facebook(gosh you feel old looking back on this) you made a small post to your 20 friends on Facebook. It read;’Do you like music? Do you like making music? Can you play an instrument but simply can’t find anywhere to play? Well please send me a message if you’re interested in a music club after school at my house!’ You sounded desperate,,which was the case. See you always wanted to start a band,your dad did when he was your age and you decided fuck it why not! That’s when you met him. Him being Austin,at first you thought he was cute,he had nicely styled dirty blond hair,pretty blue eyes and he was tall. And did I mention he could sing AND play guitar. Yeah..he was perfect.

When you first talked or Austin he had messaged you on Facebook,you didn’t even know he went to your school! You barely paid attention to your surroundings in school,either writing stupid songs or drawing little things in your notebook. He told you he was very interested in your ‘club’ and even sent a video of him playing the acoustic guitar and singing an Elvis song! It was a bit old school but you sighed it,he told you he could pretty much play any song you wanted him to. He also added that he had a few friends who also went to your school who’d be interested. One being named Adam;he was your age and played drums. Then you had Johnny; he was a few years older and played rhythm guitar. It was perfect what could go wrong!

Apparently everything could go wrong—

Well not necessarily for the whole group,it seemed to just be you. It’s been a few years now,you and Austin had been posting your music (which was mostly covers of really popular songs) to any platform out there! And it gained a lot of traction,you both really enjoyed it,as time passed you guys went a recording studio,produced your own music,posted it and the next week you were approved by a big record label. You all of course said yes,you could see the vision,your name in lights. Well your bands name;Ecstasy (can you tell I got lazy) Your bands music was mostly sensual and meaningful. That’s how you saw it,but it started to look like all of the bands hard work was just a money grab for the rest of your band.

As the years went on you and Austin grew close,you were completely smitten by him. You tried to make all of his ideas for songs come true..even if they sucked. But he didn’t see you like that,you wrote the songs,play the bass and they get money. Which hurt you once you realized. As things progressed you noticed how at every show and on every tour he was with a girl or at least flirting with the girls in the crowd. If hurt you but you couldn’t say it,you had even thought about leaving the band or even going solo but you didn’t want to be selfish. You stayed quiet,Adam and Johnny took notice to your change in personality. Your once bubbly and excited personality had turned kind of dark and closed off,no one could tell what was wrong because you just kept to yourself if you weren’t making music. Sometimes you’d be pretty happy during rehearsals or before recording but somehow Austin brought your mood down.

He’d constantly bring a girl or two to everything the band went to. Didn’t matter if it was private or if it was just a casual hang out. It was to say the least embarrassing and you let it go on for years now. Why couldn’t you stick up for yourself?! God..it was pathetic. You just ignored it at this point,you were emotionally numbed at least that’s what you thought until your most recent show.

Your band was preparing for a show,you kept quiet the whole time. Austin noticed this,even thought it’s been going on for so long he finally noticed your change in personality. He grabbed your shoulder gently,you were grabbing your bass from its case you looked back at him and gently shrugged him off of your shoulder.

“Hey man what’s going on with you..?” He spoke with a bit of force. You looked back at him,you were wearing an amazing outfit,you were wearing a tight black dress with fishnets and combat boots and he took notice..when did you become so pretty? You had beautiful makeup but he could see your eye bags and just how tired you looked. You spoke,your once soft and sweet voice was now slightly rough and scratchy “nothing..just let’s get ready..” you walked towards the stage everything was ready for the show to start,Austin followed close behind you. Tonight was gonna be stressful..

You were nearing the end of the show,you played your heart out,so did the whole band. It was time for your biggest song. This is where you and Austin got really close and just made it seem like everything was sweet and beautiful but it was farm from it. As the song played you felt tears stinging your eyes.(listen to the song above now!!)

“Without shame..”

His voice was smooth and beautiful god why were you so in love with him? It hurt your very soul.

“Two outfits then to my name..”

It was almost time for you to join in,you didn’t know if you could do it. This song was about love but you knew he didn’t love you..and that was so painful.

“You’d end up in one when you’d stay..”

You felt your heart start to race,you walked towards the microphone,standing right next to him. His hands stringing the guitar skillfully. That both turned you on and made you sick. You wanted those hands around you but every other girl got what you wanted.

“We had no where to go..and every desire for going there..”

You began to sing with him,he glanced at you. Your voice was beautiful to him,and once the fans heard you sing they went crazy they loved your voice and something inside him suddenly felt connected to you. His heart began to race.

“I heard once..it’s the comforts that makes us feel numb” You both continued to sing together for the next few moments,your voice made him shiver and his made you wince from the pain from the heart break. “We’d go out with no way to get home..and we’d sleep on somebody’s floor..wake up feeling like a millionaire..” you both continued to sing your heart out,you both looked up and stared into each others eyes. You felt emotions take over you. Austin and the rest of the band could tell you were bubbling with emotion. About to burst whenever you were tipped over the edge and the intensity of the eye contact was what tipped you over. “Wish I’d known it was just our turn..(we just got by)..Being blamed for a world we had no power in..(but we tried)..” Johnny and Adam joined in for a few parts now,giving the song an angelic sound,but your voice seemed to over power them.

“You and I had nothing to show..(we didn’t know)..But the best of the world in the palm of our hands..(anything,darling)” You felt the tears fall down your cheeks,you were now staring to the floor trying not to let your emotions get the best do you,Austin noticed this. He felt a stinging in his heart why did he suddenly care so much..? “And,darling, I haven’t felt it since then..I don’t how the feeling ended..” Your voices cracked slightly,the crowd roared happily but your band knew it was a sign of you losing yourself to you emotions,Austin almost lost his breath. You had raw talent and hearing you putting your real emotions into this certain song made his chest almost cave.

“But I know being reckless and young..Is not how the damage gets done..” You continued to cry as you sang,it was heartbreaking to watch but the fans didn’t care they just wanted to hear you sing with Austin. But now that he kept thinking about you and your new persona he felt a connection of heartbreak with you but why? He maybe thought it was just heartbreaking to see you cry because he was perfectly fine..or at least that’s what he thought. “One time we would want for nothing..(one time we had it all,love).. We knew what our love was worth (when we had nothing)..” you looked up to the sky for a few seconds,your eyes locked with Austin’s once more. He was caught off guard for a moment,you noticed this and felt a since of pride but this.

“..Now we're always missing something (I miss when).. I miss when we did not need much..” Austin backed away from the microphone,he continued to play the guitar. You grabbed the microphone and stared to sing your solo part,you took a deep breath and closed your eyes tight as you put your heart into this part.

“Oh,if the car ran,the car was enough..If the sun shone on us,it’s a plus..and the tank was always filled up! Only enough for our getting there..” Tears streamed down your face as you kept your eyes closed tightly. You opened your eyes finally and looked around and watched as Austin came back to the microphone to end the song and then the show.

Finally once you finished that song you all waved to the fans and you rushed off stage,wiping your tears and sobbing as you put your bass back in its case. You wiped off your messed up makeup,Austin noticed this as he walked past you to get ready to leave on the bus back to the hotel you were all staying. You were all on the bus now,you sat far away from everyone,in the very front you were on your phone mindlessly scrolling socials. You felt eyes on you and you knew it was Austin,that made your heart squeeze itself.

Once you all arrived at the hotel all of you got onto the elevator,Austin was oddly close standing so close your shoulders pressed together. Once the elevator dinged you all went separate ways to your rooms..or at least that’s what you thought. You heard footsteps behind you,you walked towards your room and once you reached for the door you quickly turned around and saw Austin. “Hey..” he spoke breathlessly. You looked annoyed but mostly emotional he couldn’t read your expression. “Can I come in?..” you looked shocked by this,you quickly shook your head and tried to rush into your room “no Austin— No not just no,just fuck no—“ you scoffed and walked into your room and tried to slam the door but he stopped it and barged into your room. You turned to him and had tears streaming down your already redden and wet cheeks. “We’re talking..I don’t care how you feel (Y/N)..” he spoke with a bit of anger. Your eyes widened before you gave your speech,well that’s how would Austin described it.

“No! You don’t get to fucking decide when we talk..you don’t get to tell me how to feel! Now after what you did to me! Did you not see it?! Did you not see how I looked at you and hear how I spoke?! The way I made everything happen just for you?! I even put your shitty song lyrics in our song!” You screamed and continued to let the tears flow,using your hands to speak and put more emotions into it.

“Are you kidding me?! I’m trying to figure out why you’re so emotional and weird all of a sudden! I’m being nice to you! We’ve been friends for years and im showing I care. What are you going on ab—!” You scoffed and threw your hands up in the air before turning away just to look back at him and pointing a finger into his chest.

“I. Loved. You..ever since I met you I loved you. My heart was set on you and your stupid blue eyes and your perfect lips and perfect body..a-and and—“ you put your hands up into your hair and gripped onto it “you..you were just you and I fell in love with yo—“ you let your hands fall to your sides but before you could speak he grabbed the sides of your face and kissed you passionately but with a bit of aggression. It caught you off guard but you kissed back,you held onto his wrist gently as you both walked. You were walking backwards and he basically guided you to your room. He picked you up by the back of your thighs,her laid you down on the bed and continued to passionate kiss.

He pulled away from the kiss and lifted up your dress,pulling it off your beautiful body. Happy to see you were wearing no bra but a pretty pair of black lace panties,you crossed your arms over your breast and shuddered. You turned away from him and whimpered softly,Austin untied your combat boots and pulled them off your tired feet,he pulled off your socks and kiss up from your calves to your thighs. He pulled off his shirt and kicked off his shoes. He fell to his knees and kissed your inner thigh from the right to the left side,gently biting down on your soft skins. You felt your pussy clinch around nothing as the wetness from you core drenched the cotton.

You moaned gently and covered your mouth,you felt him hook his fingers underneath the band of your panties. He tugged them off,you lifted your hips up and bit your bottom lip a little too hard, you pierced the skin making you flinch. He looked up and smirked up at you knowing he made you crazy,he put your thighs over his shoulders. He started licking up your arousal,it was sweet. The best things he’s ever tasted,he sucked your clit and watched as you squirmed and pressed your hips down onto his face the best you could. He pulled away and rubbed two fingers against your wet core,getting them wet with your slick. With the two wet digits he fingered your drenched and aching pussy slowly,pumping his fingers gently while curling them up to hit that spongey spot that made you arch your back.

He went back to licking and sucking your clit,he took you for granted and he was gonna make up for it. Your beautiful body and your sweet pussy was everything he was missing,all the girls meant nothing to him anymore. He realized he needed you,only you that all he could think of now. You started to feel a coil in your stomach tangle and begin to unwind and get close to snapping. Knowing you were about to cum you tried to push him away but he wouldn’t let you,he pressed your hips down and licked and sucked faster but still at a gentle pace. His fingers working and stretching you out. You rocked you hips wildly “Austin,Austin fuckfuckfuckfuck!—“ you moaned loudly and finally came into his fingers,he moaned against your clit. You gasped loudly and whimpered,he finally pulled away and pulled his fingers out slowly.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good honey..I’ve neglected you for so long baby..I’m so so sorry..”

He spoke softly,he stood up and took off his belt and unbuttoned and then unzipped his jeans before pulling them down along with his boxers. His cocked bounced up,your eyes widened. You’ve seen the outline of it before,you knew he was blessed but seeing it hard and up close made you shake. It was long and tick,leaking with pre-cum,you did this to him and you couldn’t believe it. You felt years well up in your eyes and he noticed,he gently kissed near your eyes and over your eyelids. “Don’t cry honey..I’m sorry baby I really am..” you finally cried tears of pure joy and laughed as you wrapped your arms around his neck “nonono don’t worry I-I’m just so happy like..I’ve dreamed about this..” you hiccuped as you felt him pick you up and lay on down long ways in the bed with him towering over you.

He sat up while sitting in his knees,he grabbed your calves and put them on other sides of his hips. He pulled you closer,the shaft of his cock laid against your sensitive clit. It made you moan softly,he stared into your eyes as he slowly rubbed your stomach and smiled happily. It was a genuine smile,something you’ve always wanted to see for so long. “I should’ve found out sooner baby..I could’ve made you feel so so so good sooner..” he whispered,he held the shaft of his cock and slowly pressed the tip into your tight cunt. “Oh fuck aus—“ you let your eyes roll back as you felt him press every inch into you,he filled you up so nicely. His eyes were glued onto his cock sliding into you,his mouth hung open.

He had finally bottomed out,he was pressed into you so nicely you felt him grazing over your cervix. This made you cry out,he leaned down holding your little body close to him,you once again wrapped your arms around him and scratched his tan skin,leaving angry red marks. You heard him groan loudly into your ear,her was fully pressed against your cervix now in this position you couldn’t handle this for long. He slowly pulled out making you whimper before he slowly pushed all the way back it. You let out a loud gasp and you let out a choked moan,he raised up slightly and stared down at you and he observed your fucked our face.

“God your pussy is sucking me I-in I could cum right now..fill you up nice and g-good..”

He whispered softly and started to thrust,it was slow but it had a bit of speed and power but not too much. He didn’t want to hurt you not ever or ever again,he knew he hurt you so many times before and he didn’t want to hurt you in such an intimate moment. You hid your face in his shoulder and bit down leaving a dark red and purple mark,he moaned loudly. Now his thrust gained more speed and strength,he thrusted into you like his life depended on it.

He growled softly into your ear,he kissed up your neck,he left dark marks along your soft neck and up your jaw. He groaned loudly now. You knew he was holding back you wanted all of him. “P-please Aus..please fuck me..pleasepleaseplease..I need your cock deep inside of me..” You moaned into his ear and he gladly took your invitation. He thrusted into you wildly and roughly,she growled and grunted loudly and he looked wild. You stared as his face contorted and twisted as he thrusted in and out of your sopping cunt,you cried out and rocked you hips against him as you felt you second orgasm approaching,you clinched and sloppily grind against his thrust you couldn’t take much more.

“Is my baby gonna cum?Hah..—Hm? My pretty girl wanna cum on my cock?Fuck..—Come on a baby be a good girl..let me feel you cum all over my cock..god you’re so fucking right..” He grunted loudly and stared into your tired half lidded eyes. You nodded you head quickly as you felt your climax getting closer. With one last strong thrust you came all over his cock,squeezing down on his cock making him shutter and he gave you one more thrust before feeling up your warm cunt with his hot cum. He groaned and slammed into you. He stared up at the ceiling before dropping his head and staring down at you.

He slowly pulled out,watching as his cum spilled out of you. He smirked and let out a breathless laugh before plopping next to you and pulling you close. He wrapped the blanket over the both of you,as you both cuddled he lazily dragged his hand down your stomach and to your puffy and sore pussy,he gently pressed his fingers into you. Gently pumping into you,trying to keep his cum inside of you. You whimpered softly and snuggled your face into his shoulder.

“I love you..” he whispered down into your ear as he closed his eyes and spoke sleepily,he was getting close to passing out.

“I love you too..I always will.” You spoke softly and closed your eyes. You both finally fell asleep,you slept in until the late afternoon that next day and it was the best sleep of your life.

Hii! I hope you guys enjoy this little one shot,I finished this before my other stories so I’m posting it! More coming soon..

#Spotify #austin butler fanfic #austin butler x reader #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler smut #austin butler x you #austin butler imagine #austin butler #austin butler fic #austin butler fluff

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iheartyvesss · 1 year ago

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save a horse | j. miller preview

and all the ladies say,

“save a horse, ride a cowboy!”

cowboy!joel x black coded!southern!reader (anybody can still read, only hairstyles are specified)

warnings: js sweet ole girl dad joel, small bits of flirting, tommy’s a flirt and joel doesn’t like it, and joel is a lil awkward but we love him!!!

wc? 1.5k (this a preview y’all!)

if any lingo is wrong you’re fuckin lying because i’m a texan born and bred RAGHHHH 🦅🇺🇸

moving to austin from dallas with your dead best friend’s daughter wasn’t on your 2002 bingo card. ellie was precious to you for a number of reasons, her fiery attitude and brown eyes that reminded you of your best friend. it all hurt you, but this little girl came first. her safety came first.

“ellie! babe, c’mon now, you gotta at least unpack your room.” the teen looked up at you over the book that was barely propped up on her chest. ellie scrunched her face at you, “i am aunty, just give me a second. the house isn’t goin’ anywhere, i’ll be just fine.” you sighed heavily, leaning on the archway of her door. ellie’s been pretty normal, but you don’t think it’s normal for her to be normal.

she’s lost her mother, you cried for days after losing yours. you remember that feeling of emptiness; not being able to believe the woman who gave birth to you was gone. you purse your lips instead, sighing in a more gentle manner before moving closer to ellie. “c’mon, up! let’s go. we’re baking and meeting our neighbors.” ellie groaned but let you take her hands, whining when you pulled her all the way up out of the bed.

“promise not to run from me and i’ll make you the red velvet brownies you like.” you squished her cheeks in your hands while grinning from ear to ear. you knew your niece couldn’t resist them, even if she was mad at you for making her assist. ellie whined in your grip, squirming around to get your hands away from her cheeks. “fine! fine! oh my god those stupid nails hurt, aunty. jesus fuck.”

her response is a hit to the back of her head, “ow.” you snort as you make your way out of the room, tying your soft locs up into a ponytail. “then watch your mouth, sugar. hurry on downstairs when you’re done. i already started the oven.” did you lie about beginning to bake to get ellie to come out of the hole that was her bare room? yes. and you are very proud that it worked.

you’re barely tying your apron back around your waist when ellie’s loud stomps come down the stairs of your new house. she fakes a frown before smiling at the aroma of chocolate and strawberries, hints of vanilla stretching across the entire first floor. you pretend not to see the scene that unfolded in front of you, instead turning to your buttercream frosting that you were mixing. “ellie baby, can you get the pie shells out for me? poke holes in the bottom with the fork then sit them in the oven for a bit. you know the drill, sweet pea.” she hums in response, yanking her little apron off of it’s hook and tying it around her body.

ellie’s practically sliding around the kitchen in her black and red polka dot socks, having the time of her life racing no one in the space of the kitchen. you laugh at her antics, gesturing for her to come over to you, “come ‘nd taste the frosting, let me know if it’s too sweet or no.” she practically scrambles to you, taking the spoon from your hand. “umm, ‘s alright. it needs more vanilla and a little more powdered sugar.”

“ugh, my little baking champion thank you so much!” you kiss the side of her head and get back to work, letting her get back to her own job that you’d provided her with. she laughed softly at your comment before she went back to her previous job of poking holes in your pie crusts. it’s not long before you’re pulling brownies and cookies out of your oven, letting them cook before icing the cookies with such carefulness that it makes ellie laugh.

you allow ellie to scoop the apple pie mixture into the pie shells before she settles them back in after placing the lattice on top of all three pies you’d made. you wait around another hour to let the pies settle and pack everything up, letting ellie hold the cookies whilst you grab one of the pies. “ellie do i look okay?” you mumble to her, turning slightly in front of the mirror on the wall near your front door. she snorts, covering it up with a cough. “you look fine aunty. what? you wanna date the neighbors?”

“absolutely n- ellie!” your face heats but you don’t say much else, instead opening the door for your niece since her hands were more full than yours. you do look fine though. your little sundress you wore for the drive down here from dallas was a soft blue with light pink flowers patterned on it along with complimentary white sandals. it complimented your skin well, enhancing the glow of it against the sun. your soft locs were still in a ponytail from your baking, and you’d had your lashes done shortly before you moved. you were particularly satisfied with the lip combo you’d mustered up before you left; a pretty brown liner with a pink filler. perfect.

ellie sets the cookies down on the floor in the bottom of your backseat, and you follow suit by sitting the pie on top of the containers. the both of you climb into the car once you’re positive everything is in order and won’t fall over or anything of the sort. the drive to the next set of land isn’t far, maybe 5 minutes, and you get a chance to truly take in the beauty of the countryside in austin.

when you pull up, you notice that your neighbors seem to be leaving the house just as you drive up. there’s two older men and a little girl, and you can only assume she’s one of the men’s daughter. your eyes trail over the taller one, though. he’s buffer than the shorter one and has a full beard. your ‘thing’ for beards was really tempting you with this one. he was clearly older than you as if that helped your attraction, but you purse your lips and relax your shoulders. no need to be weird in front of the new neighbors already.

you park quickly, biting down on your lip to hold any final nervous remarks your niece could possibly make fun of you for. ellie grabs the pie since she’s already on the side, setting it on top of the car and grabbing the cookies. you hum a soft ‘thank you’ to her before grabbing the pie and making your way towards your neighbors.

“excuse me?” your voice is saccharine to joel’s ears, and he damn near gets whiplash trying to turn to see who’s voice he’s hearing. “are you the millers?” you follow up despite a lack of response from the older man. you smile sweetly and gesture for ellie to come towards you. joel nods dumbly, swallowing hard before stepping forward to greet you. the girl that you mentioned earlier, who looked a little older than ellie, giggled at her dad (uncle?), and skipped her way next to him.

“i- uhm- we- damn.” joel stuttered terribly, rubbing a hand over his face before sighing heavily. sarah giggles before speaking up for her stunned father. “hi!! i’m sarah miller, this is my dad joel and my uncle tommy.” she smiled brightly at the two of you, curls bouncing as she spoke. tommy nodded from next to sarah, sticking his hand out for you to shake. “hi, darlin’! i’m tommy, nice to see a new pretty face ‘round here.” you feel your smile widen a bit, flattered by the younger miller’s words. you reach your hand out to meet his, but tommy turns it in his hand and presses a kiss to the back of yours.

joel’s stare practically burns through the two of you.

“cute.” is all you say, gently taking your hand back to pull ellie towards you. “i’m (name) (last name) and this is my niece ellie williams. we just moved into the house a few minutes down the road and wanted to properly greet everyone. i come bearing gifts, of course, but i can put ‘em back until you guys come back if i have to?” joel shakes his head, smiling at the thought you’d clearly put into the baked goods. “no, that’s fine sugar. we were jus’ goin’ to get some groceries.” his hand brushes yours briefly as he takes the pie, and you feel electricity shoot up your spine. oh you want him.

“me ‘n ellie can go ahead and head out and let you three get to it. we’re sorry to interrupt, but i hope we could come back over some time just to hang out or for anything else.” joel’s eyebrows shoot up at the end of your question but if he caught onto anything he didn’t say much. “’course. thank you again for the cookies ‘n pie. real sweet of you to make ‘em, sugar.” you bite down on your lip to hide the smile threatening to appear on your lips. ellie laughs beside you, tugging on your arm after she’s handed off the cookies. you glance back up at him briefly before nodding your head towards the car, sending your niece towards it.

“no problem, cowboy.”

#joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller smut #pre outbreak!joel #joel x reader #joel miller x black!reader #joel miller x y/n #joel the last of us #the last of us fanfiction

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dinsdjrn · 1 year ago

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gone from austin | j. miller | part three

brothers best friend!pre-outbreak!joel x f!reader

summary: Joel Miller: the one that got away; right person, wrong time. Now you’re back in Austin and it hurts just as bad, as if you’d never left five years ago

warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, no use of y/n, alcohol consumption, light angst.

a/n: well i've only tried to write this three times, not loving it but anyways posting it to get it out there.

prev part | next part || series masterlist | main masterlist

Part Three | June 2002

I took my love, I took it down.

It felt weird to be in your scrubs again, weird but good. You hadn’t accepted any full time work, just a locum position at the children’s hospital in South Austin. They had brought up full time hours and you had politely declined. You wish you could have claimed leave indefinitely, but E.I. doesn’t take ‘ accidentally ruined my personal life’ as a claim sadly.

Casual work was good though, it meant you could buy your own groceries and help Jake and Kels here and there. It also distracted you from your grief; grief of the lives you could have had that slipped away from you. It had occurred to you that you were most likely at fault for your own misfortune, it's happened twice now that your life has blown up just fantastically. You faced the music and accepted that the common denominator both times was you, and in time you would continue to do what you did best, run.

You didn’t focus on your own personal anguish for long, there were treatments to be ordered and patients to be seen. It felt good to work your twelve and then go home, satisfied with your work. You had even begun to make friends with some of the other doctors and nurses in the emergency department. They knew you weren’t a permanent fixture, but it still felt good to meet new people and have more of a circle that exceeded your brother and his buddies in Austin.

Toward the end of your shift you were desperately looking forward to a nap. You were used to a bit more of a schedule in day surgery, consulting in emergency was pure and utter chaos. The shifts went by fast and left you feeling the good kind of tired at the end of the day.

You were just finishing up your shift, typing out the last few notes for your patient's medical records when your cell started buzzing on the desk.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Hey!” Kelseys voice sounded on the other end of line.

“Hey, is everything alright? I’m just finishing up at work. I’ll be home in an hour or so, just depends on the bus.”

“Uh, yeah! I just wanted to see if you had any plans after work.”

“Uh-“ you thought about a small white lie. Knowing Kels was about to convince you to do something.

“No, I was just going to go to bed.” You admitted.

“Okay, well I’m going to pick you up from work and we are going out tonight,” She said excitedly.

“Kels…” You warned.

“C’mon! It will be just like old times, I promised Tommy I’d convince you to go. Sarah’s gone to her friend's house for the night and Jake and Tommy wanted to get everyone to Gus’ Pub. Just like old times,”

You sighed, Gus’ was your favourite back in the ‘90s they always had the best atmosphere. You had made yourselves somewhat regulars in college.

“Ugh, I was really looking forward to going to bed.” You grumbled.

“That’s not no, so I’ll pick you up in thirty!” She said excitedly, hanging up before you could protest.

You leaned back in your chair letting your head fall backward as you sighed, groaning toward the end. You loved Jake and Kelsey, you appreciate everything they’ve done for you, but you had a sneaking suspicion Kelsey was doing everything in her power to keep you here. To remind you of the love that you once felt for the city and the people in it.

You stood from the desk in the doctors lounge and made your way to your cubby. You had come to work in jeans and a T-shirt that would be more than fine for Gus’. You changed out of the soiled scrubs throwing them in the laundry bag and tried to fix your post-dayshift hair.

You placed your beeper in the storage bin and made your way out of the building waiting for Kels to arrive. You liked that you could finish a twelve hour shift and still have daylight pushing the horizon at nearly nine at night.

By the time you had arrived at the bar Jake and Tommy had clearly started the party without you. Joel was laughing at their shenanigans from the bar stool you’re sure he claimed as soon as they’d arrived.

“God damn it, Tommy. Don’t you have anything better to do than be a complete jackass,” You heard Joel scold his brother.

Tommy and Jake laughed at the outburst, Tommy smiling and tipping his beer in Joel’s direction.

“Where’s your sense of humor, old man,” Tommy teased.

“Well shit, look who showed up!” Tommy drawled as you and Kels approached them.

“Alright, soldier boy, I told you not to start without us,” Kelsey rolled her eyes at the younger Miller brother.

You smiled at the four of them, they fell so easily into a dynamic. As much as you tried not to feel like an outsider, you were, you chose to make yourself one. So you would watch Jake hug Kels from behind as he, Joel and Tommy shot the shit. You nursed a beer in the stool next to Joel, keeping to yourself. It stung to feel like an outsider where you were once welcome, but you smiled politely and tried to look engaged.

As the night continued you watched Kelsey pull Jake to the dance floor and Tommy flirt with a bachelorette party that had waltzed in shortly after eleven. You and Joel sat in a bit of an awkward silence unsure what to say to one another.

Your last conversation had left a sour taste in your mouth, but it wasn’t cause to be blatantly rude to him.

“So,” he stared awkwardly.

“So,” you responded without much more enthusiasm.

“Jake said you were back workin’ again.”

“Uh, yeah, just casually while I get my shit together.”

“Saint David’s?” He asked.

“No, No. I’m at the Dell Children’s now,” You smiled.

He looked at you confused. You had once gone on a rant wishing Dell had a surgical ward that expanded beyond emergency medicine so you could work at your alma mater. You’re surprised he remembered such a small detail, at least you think that was the source of his confusion.

“I’m in the emergency department, surgical consulting,” you clarified.

“Ah,” he said, clearly nodding along without fully understanding.

“How’s the contracting business going?” You asked.

“Other than Tommy being a pain in my ass, it’s been a’right. Work puts food on the table, can’t complain.”

Another awkward silence fell between you.

“So, when are you heading back to Toronto? Once you get your shit together?”

“Never, if I get it together correctly.”

“Oh damn, sorry, Jake told me some shit happened. I was jus-” he said looking at you apologetically.

“It’s okay, Joel. You can always buy me another drink as an apology,” you teased.

Joel waved the bartender over and out two more beers on his tab.

You laughed telling him he didn’t actually have to do it, but he insisted.

You began to fall into a comfortable conversation, talking about surface level topics, but it wasn’t awkward by any means. One of you just had to bring something up by accident to break the tension. The drinks helped lighten the mood as well.

You weren’t sure how long you and Joel were in your own little world for before Kelsey came and pulled you onto the dance floor.

It was so nice though to have a normal conversation with Joel, to feel less like you were at odds and more just trying to figure each other out again. So much has changed in five years and neither of you were sure where to start. Now that you started again, maybe you could relearn what it meant to be friends.

It was nearing midnight and you were tired from dancing with Kelsey and Tommy. Joel and Jake had been hanging out at the bar when the new Dixie Chicks cover of Landslide came over the speakers. You can see Joel’s eye roll from where you’re standing, you walked toward the two men. Kelsey pulled Jake onto the floor for a dance.

You didn’t want to make things awkward for Joel so you started singing along poorly, you grabbed his hand and spun yourself around. He chuckled at the gesture. You both looked down the bar to see Tommy sweet talking to one of the bridesmaids from earlier.

“It is just us Miller, may as well enjoy the song!” You laughed. He shook his head at you.

“ Time makes you bolder, even children get older, ” You continued to sing along poorly, Joel took another swig of beer and crossed his arms laughing at you.

“C’mon old man, it’s a classic!” You laughed, grabbing his hand trying to pull him off the bar stool.

“No, the classic involves Fleetwood Mac, this is a rip off, darlin’,” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Ever the critic, Joel Miller.”

It was nice to be able to dance and laugh like this again. It had been months since you felt any semblance of normalcy. Yet here you were shooting the shit with Joel, enjoying yourself, and for once it felt like everything was going to turn out alright.

Joel did stand and smile at you for the last course as he swayed along with you. As the song came to an end Jake and Kelsey made their way back to you.

“Alright, I’ll be back in a sec,” Joel said, placing his empty on the counter and making his way to the bathroom.

“I’m going to go find Tommy,” Kelsey said, letting you and Jake have a moment together.

He put his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into a brief hug kissing your head.

“I’m glad you came out tonight,” Jake smiled at you, taking a seat on Joel’s stool.

“Me too, but I won’t lie I’m pretty tired,” you chuckled.

“Yeah, I can imagine.”

“So,” Jake's tone shifted more seriously, “You and Joel were getting cozy tonight.”

“Well yeah, everyone else was a little busy. No sense denying there’s a history there, Jake, it doesn’t mean I can’t be friendly.”

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to see either of you get hurt again,” He sighed.

“We have boundaries, Jake. He’s a good man.” You grew frustrated.

“He is a good man,” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“He’s just not good for you,” he placed his hand on your shoulder in reassurance.

You went to protest against your brother's statement but were cut off.

“It’s hard to watch you hurting. Austin causes you to hurt, Joel causes you to hurt. If I could convince you to stay I would, but I know you, and I know your heart isn’t here.”

You sighed in defeat, he was right. Jake usually was, and his own wish for you to stay was proof of that. He knew you weren’t capable of being just friends with Joel, and he knew that if you stayed you would just get hurt over and over. If you stayed here tonight, if you stayed here in Austin, if you stayed in Joel’s life. For now, the only resolution you were capable of was turning in for the night with Kelsey.

“I want to go home now,” You said to him, waving Kelsey down.

“Want me to come with you?” Jake asked in earnest.

“No, you have fun with the boys! I know Kelsey, she's probably pretty close to done anyway.”

You told Kelsey you were ready to go just as both Miller brothers had made their way back to you. She nodded in understanding, flashing a look at Jake and Joel. The taxi ride home was quiet and spent it with your head resting against the window.

The day finally catching up to you and fuelling your exhaustion you couldn’t wait to curl up in your bed and sleep this feeling of uncertainty off.

It didn’t take you long to get comfortable and fall asleep once you were home. You placed your cell on the nightstand next to you just in case Jake called needing you or Kelsey. The boys were notorious for getting themselves into trouble and you had made a habit of having a phone nearby.

You had fallen asleep easily, but it didn’t last long as the cellphone rang next to you, pulling you from your sleep.

“Hello?” You answered your phone through a sleep ridden fog.

“Uh, hey darlin’, I didn’t mean t’ wake you,” a familiar voice came through the receiver of your cell.

“Joel?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed.

“How’d you get my number?” You questioned, still confused, your voice laced with sleep.

You looked over at your alarm clock, 1:54am.

“And why are you calling me at two in the morning?” You continued.

“I, uh, I asked Sarah for it after your gals night. Y’know? Just in case she uh- wanted to chat with you.” He only answered the first part.

“Figures.” You laughed.

“Is she there waiting to talk to me now? At two in the morning?” You questioned, still foggy from your early awakening.

“No, no, uh shit.” He whispered, “This was all me.”

You hummed lightly.

“You ran outta there tonight without even sayin’ goodbye. I was worried something happened to you,” He admitted.

“Oh,” You said. Your heart rate grew quicker, not wanting to tell him the real reason you had left so abruptly.

“Uh- no. It just wasn’t really my scene. Kelsey asked if I wanted to go home and I agreed.”

“Well, I was sad to see you leave so soon. I definitely thought I would be getting another dance outta you, you know to real music,”

You faked a gasp.

“I’ll have you know, Mr. Miller, The Dixie Chicks are very much real music and you didn’t seem to mind it,” you laughed.

“I was just putting on a show for you darlin’,” He mused.

“Well Joel, if it means I can get going back to bed, I’ll own you a dance to real music next time,” you mocked.

You heard a soft sharp inhale through the phone.

“I’ll hold you to it,” He said softly, the tone of the conversation felt like it had vastly changed.

You couldn’t see Joel but you knew when intensity laced his tone, making the tension palpable in the air, this was one of those times.

“Well, I ain’t gonna keep you. I just wanted to make sure you were alright,”

“Thank you. I’m good, Joel. I, uh-“ you paused, “I had a lot of fun tonight. It was really nice to hang out.” You admitted.

“Yeah uh- yeah. It was just like ol’ times,” There was a pause between you both for a moment.

“Goodnight, old man,”

“Alright, that wasn’t very nice of you darlin’,” Joel said, chuckling.

You laughed quietly along with him.

“Night , Joel,” you said, yawning through the phone.

“G’night beautiful. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”

You hummed in response, ending the call and placing your cell phone back on the nightstand.

It was nice to connect with Joel, but your brother's voice echoed in your head.

I know your heart isn’t here.

You tossed and turned, the moral dilemma causing your stomach to turn. You wanted to let Joel in, it felt so good to dance with him, watch him laugh. It was your own personal drug, you were addicted to the feeling of being close to him. Yet you knew you couldn’t betray him again. Jake was right, you were only capable of hurting one another.

The part of you that wished Austin could be home forever was the part that pushed you away the first time. You were determined to leave in one piece this time.

Can I handle the seasons of my life? Cause I’ve been afraid of changing.

tags: @thetriumphantpanda @fruit-frogs @harriedandharassed @skysmiller @beskarandblasters @wand-erer5 @missgurrl @casa-boiardi @undrthelights @wishyoudaskme @reader-without-a-story @morning-star-joy @cupofjoel @sinsofsummers @cavillscurls @tightjeansjavi @whichwitchwanda @dugiioh @readingfan @patti7dc @spidermanfrog

#joel miller fanfic #joel miller series #joel miller x reader #joel miller fic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller self insert #pre outbreak!joel

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daddyhausen · 1 year ago

Text

• kinktober day four : ddlg — trent beretta •

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{ masterlists } | { kinktober 2023 }

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

{ commission info } | { like my work? buy me a coffee — kofi — dxddyhxusen }

{ summary } — after a nightmare, trent’s attempt at consoling you proves futile. however, he does know one way to calm your fears

{ warnings } — 18 + { minors do not interact }, ddlg, daddy kink, sub!reader, little!reader, soft sex, mild somnophilia, comfort, praise, vaginal sex, penetrative sex, internal cumshots vaginal creampie, male + female orgasms, squirting

{ word count } — 1k

{ pairing } — fem!reader x trent beretta

{ genre } — smut

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

{ taglist } — @cosmoholic13 @thewrestlingbitch @omg-im-such-a-masochist @adamjf @wardlow @alexisquinnlee-bc @sammiejane22 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @omegasluvbot @melissahausen @writtingrose @drummergrl1310 @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @bonehead-playz @cherrytheeredheadmamaclaymore @crowleysqueenofhell @romanreigns-supreme @janetreader @thenerdybaker523 @sunshinevirus @nicoleveno14 @rubyred1980 @elsteenerico @igncrxntripley @ripleyswhore @embermdk @thepalaceofmelanie @violetmacher @seeingstarks

{ beta readers } — @allelitesmut + @legit9thlunaticwarrior

{ comment if you want to be added to the taglist }

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

his eyelids fluttered open in the dead of night

a soft exhale left his lips unsure as to why he’d woken up so suddenly

his eyes still adjusting to the soft glow of the moonlight peaking from behind the curtains

an overwhelming sense of dread flooded his veins upon hearing soft frightened whimpers from beside him.

his blood ran cold, throat ran dry as he turned to face the origin of the sound

he saw you, clinging to the bedsheets, cowering beneath them

your face hidden on the pillows, calling out for him despite being deep in slumber

he noticed the tear stains dampening the pillow, how your body shuddered with fear

“princess…hey wake up…”

his large palm engulfed your shoulder as he grabbed it, shaking you, in an attempt to rouse you from your slumber.

you awoke in a panic, arms outstretched, searching for him in the darkness until you made contact with his bicep, clinging to him

“shh sweetheart, it’s okay, i’m here”

he engulfed you into his warmth, his embrace felt homely, comforting…safe.

letting his palm gently smooth the back of your head, gingerly twirling stray strands of his around his fingers

you cowered into his, softly sobbing into his chest

“i-i’m sorry i woke you up…” you muttered against his skin

“oh no, sweetheart, it’s alright. don’t be sorry”

his fingertips drew small shapes against the nape of your neck

moving in slow, comforting circles

“are you alright? do you want to talk about it now?”

he questioned cautiously, afraid that more tears would spill

you shook your head no, clinging to him desperately

“alright princess…i won’t force you to say anything now…whenever your ready”

you peered up at him, eyes puffy and red, stinging with tears as you tried to meet his gaze

“d-daddy…?” you whimpered

“yes sweetheart?” he answered, cupping your cheeks, more attentive that usual as your regression began

it wouldn't happen often, only in moments where you felt the most afraid

and ironically, the most comfortable and safest with him

you paused for a moment, contemplating your words

mouth hung agape but no words left your lips

your eyes dipped down to your hands, twiddling your thumbs in your lap

“hey, hey…” he began.

“what is it?” his thumb gently swiping tears from your heated cheeks

“j-just…” you stuttered

“promise me you won’t leave…”

his heart broke.

“oh honey…” he cooed, engulfing you tightly in is embrace

“is that what your nightmare was about?”

you nodded, feeling safe and warm in his arms

“i’m not going anywhere, okay. i’ll be right here, always”

he pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead

letting his lips linger a few more seconds then they needed too

“now relax, sweetheart…daddy will help you sleep”

you nodded softly, tiredly

sleep gently lulling you back into a peaceful state

your head soon hit the pillow, a small sigh leaving your lips

your back pressed against his chest, letting him whisper sweet nothings into you ear to help calm you

his hips angled against yours, fingers hooking into your panties, pulling them to the side

i’m right here. princess…i’m never going to leave you”’

he freed his cock from his sweatpants

teasing your folds with the tip

gathering your wetness, slowly pushing himself into you

your whimpers deep in your chest, almost as if you were trying to silence them

trent’s lips peppered gentle kisses to the tops of your shoulders

the act seemingly help calm you down momentarily

“daddy…” you mumbled

“hmm?” he muttered against your neck, the sound reverberating in your skin

“i love you…”

��i love you too sweetheart…”

he wrapped a hand around your waist, pulling you closer against him

his cock sinking deeper into you with each movement

“oh fuck…” he groaned out breathlessly

the feeling of your cunt was unmatched. it was perfect

so tight. so warm

“feels so good, daddy”

“i know baby” he panted. “you feel so good for me”

he let his hand slip between your thighs

teasing your clit with the tips of his fingers

adoring the way you shuddered and whined against him

“you’re safe, princess…i won’t let anything hurt you”

trent’s fingers drew out your pleasure, in small circular strokes

your cunt quivering around his impressive size

feeling him pulse and throb inside of you

you cling to his arm, hips grinding against it, trying to desperately add more friction your clit craved

“cum for me baby, you’re so close, you’re doing so well”

you felt the pulse rise between your thighs, aided by the gentle strokes of his cock and swirl of his fingers

“daddy…please”

“please what, sweetheart?”

“i want it…i want it all” you whimpered in between breathes. he knew exactly what you meant

“you’ll get all of it, my princess” he tilted your head back to kiss you roughly as he increased his movements

“you’ll get every last drop”

your sleepy whines grew louder, more desperate for release

you did not even recognise your own orgasm

gushing around his size, and his fingers

“there’s my good girl…” he muttered against your lips

“i’m gonna cum, princess…daddy’s gonna fill you up”

without another word he released

his hot cum filling you to the brim, leaking out of your aching cunt as he pulled out

he admired the way you clung to him, still so needy for his touch

“c’mere sweetheart…” he pulled you onto his chest, allowing you to listen to the soft thrums of his heart beat

“feel better?” you nodded with a soft hum in response

“good…” he kissed your forehead gently

“get some sleep, princess…i love you”

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

#{ my fics : 🤍 }#kinktober #kinktober 2023 #trent beretta #best friends #trent beretta x reader #trent beretta smut #trent beretta imagine #trent beretta fanfic #aew #wrestling imagine #wrestling smut #aew imagine #aew wrestling #aew fanfiction

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tommydarlings · 2 years ago

Text

A&W | a.b

pairing: mean!dom!austin x sub!reader

warnings: spanking, humiliating, dacryphilia

w/c: 0.9k

summary: Being nice usually always pays off, but not when you have a very possessive and mean husband who does not like seeing you talking to other guys one bit.

check this out: my masterlist <3 // my ko-fi to support me! <3 // my PayPal to support me! <3 // my Patreon to become a member! (get access to +20 works) // Save a Life carrd made by me! <3

song suggestion: A&W by Lana Del Ray

Arguments with Austin.

If that wasn’t the most exhausting but at the same time hottest thing you’ve ever experienced, then you don’t know what else.

He liked to be right and you liked to just quickly talk yourself out of the situations, perfect match.

“Austin, it’s called being nice.” You angrily told before you turned around and saw your husband sitting down onto the comfortable, big sofa.

He chuckled and shook his head, “I don’t think that whoring yourself out and being nice is the same thing, honey.” Your husband replied, hands not gently placed on top of his slack covered thighs.

You lightly gasped, “Wow, you're a real asshole, do you know that?” Biting your lip, hands slightly shaking as tears welled up in your eyes.

You’ve seen Austin angry, of course you did that in the 3 years relationship you share, but you’ve never seen your husband so… possessive and careless at the same time.

Both of you didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds. He was just starring at you with pretty dark eyes and a specific kind of gaze that you couldn’t put your finger on while you were slowly growing very nervous and a little scared.

��C'mere.” Austin mumbled quietly, tilting his head in his direction on the sofa, small not so kindhearted smile now covering his lips.

You also tilted your head now, brows furrowing before you one single tears escaped your eye, realising what he wants from you and what he’s about to do if you obey.

if you obey.

After you gulped another wave of tears down, you shook your head, “N-No.” you whispered in a soft and innocent tone. “I was j-just being nice, a-austin-”

“C'mere.” He repeated without giving a damn about your useless explanation.

And again, you shook your head as tears blurred your vision even further, slowly stepping away from him.

You briefly chuckled, basically telling him and yourself that all of this is absolutely ridiculous before you turned around and took off to leave the living room.

“If you go one stop further, then I’ll triple it and go ten times harder this time.” You’ve never stopped walking so fast in your life before.

After a few seconds and a few deep breaths, you turned around and looked at your husband, watching him playing with his bottom lip using his thumb and pointer fingers, eyes darker than ever, fixated at your facial expression.

You gulped, “A-Are you serious?” tears not stopping making their way down your heated cheeks. He didn’t react for a couple of seconds before he tilted his head,

“C'mere and let’s find out, sweetheart.”

Slowly, your feet carried you over to his sitting figure on the sofa, eyes too scared to leave his one's.

As soon as you stood right infront of him, his eyes scanned your body.

“Over my lap, now.”

You briefly bit your lip to hide a whine before you squeezed your eyes shut and then opened them again, gazing down at your husband who was, like you should actually know, a rather impatient guy.

Out of nowhere, Austin grabbed your upper arm in kind of a harsh way and put you over his knees, ignoring your begs and cries.

You choked on your tears, “Please b-baby, please!” You loudly begged, fingers tightly grabbing his pants while he lifted your dress and gave it a light slap.

“Don’t call me baby when you almost whored yourself out to some random guy.” Your husband told you before he slapped you a second time but this time way harder.

You gasped and whined, tears falling into your mouth and running down your temple and cheeks while he continued spanking your ass in his favourite colour, red.

He groaned, “ That damn ring that you're wearing.”

Slap.

“I didn’t give you that for no reason.”

Slap.

“My last name that you’re carrying.”

Slap.

“I also didn’t give you that for no reason.”

Slap.

“And when you're not as stupid as I sometimes think you are.”

Slap.

“Then you should also know, that I’m not giving you all those spanking’s for no reason.”

Slap.

You were a hundred percent sure that your cheeks were as red as the suit that he wore at the SAG awards, maybe even darker, especially since he’s still wearing his wedding ring, that he’s — by the way — never taking off, and two other rings that are marking your skin in a wonderful way right now.

Austin leaned his body down so that he was closer to your ear than before, hand still spanking you, smirking every time you jumped from the impact of his hand landing on your almost naked ass.

“You're a whore.” Austin whispered in a deep tone into your ear. “America's little whore.” Slapping you once again with one of his hands while the other one was slowly wrapping itself around your neck, lightly squeezing it.

“A-Austin.” You whined.

“Yes, baby?”

“I-I'm sorry.” He briefly chucked before he replied,

“I know, baby.” Austin told you before he gave you a quick peck onto the top of your head, slapping you immensely hard, making you scream and moan at the strong impact of his palm on your red and hot skin.

“I know.” He muttered for a second time, hand around your throat now squeezing your skin a little tighter.

You were already so far gone that you barely even heard him because of the pain but also pleasure that you were feeling.

But you still tried to listen as good as you could, “My little american whore.” Austin mumbled quietly into your ear, hand on your throat not stopping the squeezing, while his hand on your ass didn’t stop the spanking.

#fanfic #fanfiction #austin butler #austin butler fanfic #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler smut #austin butler x reader #austin butler fan fiction #austin butler jealous smut #austin butler imagine #austin butler fic

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crackheadwhohashadenough · 1 year ago

Text

Oh To Not Have You

Pairing: Anthony J Crowley x Male reader (can be read as ftm reader aswell) mentions: strong language, drinking, death, angst, mentions of holy water, swords and mentions of hell fire. And reader is called Raphael once. Please do not read if uncomfortable. Fem aligned don't interact. If there's any warning i left out please let me know -> do not repost, copy or translate my work or post them anywhere. Reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated A/N: This is my first fic that isn't a request and my first good omens request. I apologize in advance if this is too angsty. Also i wanted to credit @fly-flower-fanfics as i got the inspiration to write this from their fic 'I Knew You' go read it, it is quite nice.

𝖠𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖼𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗎𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌, 𝖨 𝗁𝖾𝗅𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗆 𝖨 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾��𝖾𝗋. 𝖬𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗅𝗒, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍’𝗌 𝖿𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗉𝗉𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒, 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝖼𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝖺𝗇 𝖾𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽𝗇’𝗍 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗅

Something in the air felt different, it felt like doom was hanging by your shoulder ready to snoop in when it’s time came in.

You sighed and pushed those thoughts aside as you sat on the couch with a Jane Austin novella Aziraphale had lent you to read as he had boasted about it for weeks. Crowley and Aziraphale had decided to meet in St. James Park but you had decided not to go as you felt exhausted from running around all day, yesterday to stop Armageddon.

Crowley and Aziraphale walked over to the vendor “a strawberry lolly and a vanilla with a flake, please” Crowley hands the vendor the money before Aziraphlae asked “how’s the car?”

“Not a scratch on it” was Crowley’s reply as they looked at Aziraphale “how’s the book shop?” aziraphale looks at Crowley “not a smudge” he says slightly suspiciously as he walks to the other side of Crowley “not a book burned, everything back just the way it was” Crowley hands aziraphale his ice-cream before taking her own as aziraphale looks around while asking “you heard from your people yet?” Crowley shakes his head with an almost deep sigh “yours?” he asked aziraphale “nothing”

“Do…you understand-w-what happened yesterday?” Crowley asked as they looked at aziraphale “well, I understand some of it,…but some of it-” aziraphale sighs “well, it’s just bit too…” aziraphale raises his eyebrow only to notice Crowley not looking at him “ineffable” Death interrupts them “oh, that…that’s funny, seeing him here. Th-that’s meant to be bad luck” Crowley wouldn’t like to admit it but he was internally terrified but they didn’t want to think about the what ifs in this moment. In that moment death had disappeared “it’s meant to be bad…” Crowley stammered he turns around to look at aziraphale only to see him gone he turns around again only to see him being dragged away by Uriel and a squad of angels. Crowley was distracted by this whole ordeal but decided to chase after them “stop! Stop them!” some old lady interrupts “what’s wrong, love?” before Crowley can figure out what’s happening the old lady who happens to be hastur who knocks Crowley out “oh, bad luck dear” hastur says mockingly while Crowley groans and faints

Aziraphale was tied to a chair, he tired pulling against the ropes but they were too tight for him to slip his hands out. He hears foot steps behind him and “ah. Aziraphale” he recognizes the voice, it was Gabriel. He patted aziraphale’s shoulder “so glad you could join us” he said with a forced smile and with sickeningly sweet voice “you could’ve just sent a message, I mean, a kidnapping in broad daylight” Aziraphale says making Gabriel shrug “call it what it was: an extraordinary rendition” he chuckles as aziraphale fakes a small smile “now, have we heard from our new associate?” Gabriel asks only for Uriel to reply “he’s on his way” Gabriel smiles “he’s own his way. I think you are going to like this” he walks towards aziraphale who raises his eyebrows “I really do…and I bet you didn’t see this one coming” Gabriel leans forward as he says that, the only reaction aziraphale could muster was a forced smile.

Meanwhile down in hell Crowley was facing his trial for using holy water on another demon “Creatures of Hell, you have heard the evidence against the demon known as Crowley. What’s your verdict?” Beelzebub addresses the demons behind the glass window, there were shouts of ‘guilty’ from them “do you have anything to say before we take our vengeance out on you?” Beelzebub says as Crowley turns around from looking at the glass window “what’s it to be?” he asks as he shrugs “an eternity in the deepest pits of hell?” he continues but hastur interrupts Crowley “no no, we’re going to do something even worse…Letting the punishment fit the crime” in that moment arch angel Michael arrives carrying a jug of holy water, they pour the liquid into the bathtub after hastur refuses to pour it himself as he had seen what it could do…

Aziraphale could sense something was wrong, he could sense someone else’s presences, someone close to him.

{Flashback} Crowley smiled at you “I wish you could come with angel” they said as you smiled at them “I wish I could too, I’m just a little exhausted after yesterday” Crowley couldn’t help but pull you in a hug, she rarely showed her softer side, something that was usually reserved for you “I’m glad you are okay” they whispered before pulling away and kissing you gently… Crowley left to meet aziraphale at the park but the moment he stepped out they could sense something different in the air but the moment he saw aziraphale who had a look of worry on his face, they knew that indeed something was wrong. Aziraphale went on to explain what he had found out before putting out the idea of them switching bodies and here they were now {Flashback ends}

The presences was too familiar for aziraphale (Crowley) to ignore as soon as he realized he felt panicked but he needed to not show any emotions “you don’t get this view down in the basement” he hears someone’s voice, before recognizing them as a demon, the demon walked further. Aziraphale (Crowley) looked at the demon before his eyes landed on…You. You who was being dragged by two lower grade demons. Your eyes widened a little as you see aziraphale their but his presences was different, it wasn’t aziraphale’s presences but it was still a lot familiar for you to ignore. Then the realization hit you, it was Crowley, they both switched bodies, the eye contact you held with aziraphale (Crowley) was cut short as the demon ignites…Hell fire “What are you trying to do Gabriel?!” You looked at the archangel Gabriel “well, with one act of treason you averted the war” aziraphale (Crowley) looks at you to see you looking at Gabriel before you say “well, I think the greater good…” Gabriel cuts you off “don’t talk to me about the greater god sunshine. I’m the archangel fucking Gabriel” you were a little shocked to see no one other than Gabriel cursing “the greater good was we were finally going to settle things with the opposition once and for all” Uriel walks over to you and unties your tied hands, aziraphale (Crowley) wanted to shout for them to not hurt you but hurt them instead, he saw how your wings unfolded, they took a deep breath as it clicked what might happen, you look confused at Gabriel before you shook your head as the realization hit of what was at hand “you can’t-you can’t do that Gabriel…taking an angels wings is shaming them” Gabriel smiles “well that would do you good seeing how you have relations with demon Crowley” aziraphale(Crowley) looked at you as you licked your lips, you felt like you were a little child who begged to not be punished for stealing some sweets “ba-banish me…banish me from heaven for all I care Gabriel, but not my wings, I’m not going to let you shame me like that, no-not in front of all of them!” you could feel tears prickle your eyes making you blink them away, you didn’t like crying or showing vulnerable emotions, something you always encouraged Crowley to show, well it wouldn’t be wrong to call you a hypocrite.

You could feel aziraphale’s (Crowley’s) eyes on you but you didn’t want to look up but you couldn’t stop yourself as you heard his shout “take my wings Gabriel! Take them but leave them alone” Aziraphale (Crowley) was trying hard not to show who he truly was, crowley knew the only thing you truly cared for about yourself were your wings it took a long time for you to let them touch your wings, he knew you couldn’t live with the pain and the shame, deep down Crowley always felt like you dated him cause you pitied her but that was far from the truth and you had always made sure they knew that even if you both ever had fights or arguments.

{Flashback} As you walked out of the bedroom with a book in your hand and a cup of tea you had noticed the change of atmosphere in the apartment, you sensed Crowley’s restlessness. You looked at him, concern etched across your face “Crowley, what’s gotten into you?” crowley shot you a playful grin, mischief glittering in his eyes like malevolent stars “You know, I've been feeling a bit nostalgic lately. Thought I might pay a little visit to our friends down below. Stir things up a bit, you know?" You set your book and cup of tea down on the counter, the unease in your gut growing stronger “crowley, you can’t be serious. You are not thinking of causing trouble in hell, are you?” She waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, nothing too major. Just a little chaos, a few practical jokes. Keeps the place lively, you know?" You stood up, your voice taking on a more serious tone. "Crowley, this isn't a good idea. Hell isn't exactly on the best terms with you right now." Crowley's grin faltered slightly, but they quickly recovered. "Oh, come on, angel. They'll get over it. Besides, it's all in good fun." You approached him, your expression stern. "It's not just about them 'getting over it.' You remember what happened last time. It turned into a mess." Crowley's eyes narrowed, and their tone taking on a defensive note. "Are you doubting my ability to handle my own kind?”

"It's not about your ability, Crowley," you replied firmly. "It's about the potential consequences. You might enjoy pushing boundaries, but this time it could lead to something worse." Crowley turned away, their frustration visible. "You're being overly cautious."

"I'm being realistic," you countered, your voice unwavering as you stepped closer. "I know you're powerful, Crowley. But sometimes power alone isn't enough to fix things." Crowley's shoulders slumped a little, and her gaze softened. "You're right. I just... I get caught up in the thrill sometimes." You reached out and placed a hand on her arm. "I understand that, Crowley. But we have to face the reality of the situation. Times have changed." They sighed against your touch, their arms wrapping around you. "I can't help but be a bit of a troublemaker." You pulled them into an embrace, letting your warmth and affection envelop them. "I wouldn't have you any other way. Just promise me you'll think twice before you jump into something like this." He looked down at you, his eyes softening as they met yours. "You really do care about me, don't you?" you couldn’t help but smile softly "Of course I do," you whispered, your fingers tracing soothing patterns on her back. "I love you, Crowley, even when you're being mischievous." She leaned into the embrace, her forehead resting against yours. "I love you too, more than anything." {Flashback ends}

Gabriel smiles sarcastically “oh but aziraphale you see, we have something for you too…you aren’t going unscathed sunshine” you looked at aziraphale (Crowley) fear striking you deep, aziraphale (Crowley) tries to reason with Gabriel “I don’t suppose I can persuade you to reconsider?” Gabriel looks at aziraphale (Crowley) seriously “I’m sorry but the decision is already made” Gabriel’s voice dripped with malice “we’re supposed to be the good guys, for heaven’s sake.” Uriel hands Gabriel the sword “well, for heaven’s sake, we are meant to make examples out of traitors. Hence…no wings” with that the two lower grade demons grabbed your wings as Gabriel wasted no time slicing through them at the base, you were hit with excruciating pain but you didn’t want to scream, you didn’t want to give Gabriel the satisfaction of your pain. After that moment everything was dark, you didn’t notice what was happening until you felt your body thump onto the ground making you groan and try to pick yourself up somehow. Your whole body ached from the pain of falling from heaven, if Crowley was here he would’ve laughed at that but you soon felt like a knife was being drilled into your heart as you thought of Crowley and what he would think of you now, you were fine with the part of being a fallen angel but your wings something you treasured was taken away from you. You looked at your hands, you scoffed noticing how the tips were blackened with your nails turned into claws…

Weeks had passed since the events, Crowley sat by the door of his apartment holding one of your sweaters he had gotten you years back. Their heart ached from the pain, the pain of having lost the one good thing they had ever had. Your pained expression kept doing rounds in Crowley’s mind with Gabriel’s words running around in her mind ‘well that would do you good seeing how you have relations with the demon Crowley’ they kept thinking it was their fault that you weren’t here in his arms, telling him that it would be okay.

Memories after memories played in Crowley’s mind as he took a swig from the bottle of talisker scotch, before groaning as his eyes wondered over to the kitchen…

{Flashback} As you strolled into the kitchen of your apartment, Crowley followed along behind you like a lost puppy. The morning had been cozy and warm– breakfast in bed, courtesy of Crowley's culinary expertise (if you could call reheating frozen waffles expertise, that is). You cherished these small, tender moments between you two. But now, duty called, and it was your turn to tackle the aftermath of the meal–washing the dishes. As you ventured further into the kitchen, Crowley's humour had you laughing at something she'd just said. Amidst your laughter, your foot made unexpected contact with the edge of the open cabinet door, and gravity took over. "Fuc-Crowley!" you exclaimed, the words slipping out as your body lurched forward and your dignity took a tumble. Crowley's eyebrows shot up in concern, but that was quickly overtaken by an incredulous look. "My dear, are you practicing your own version of interpretive dance?" they joked. You managed to regain your balance and stood up, rubbing your slightly bruised ego along with your toe. "I'll have you know that our kitchen cabinet just tried to eat me alive," you said, half-joking, half-serious. Crowley chuckled, but her grin soon morphed into a mockingly serious expression. "Ah, you've just discovered our cabinet's hidden agenda, have you? It's a rebellious cabinet, you see. Always yearning for some fresh air." You raised an eyebrow. "Fresh air? It's a kitchen cabinet, not a tree-hugging hippie." Crowley shrugged, their lips curling into an exaggerated pout. "Well, excuse our cabinet for wanting to explore its more…open-minded side." You couldn't help but burst into laughter at his absurd and dramatized reasoning. "Open-minded? More like open-doored!" Crowley gasped dramatically, placing a hand over his heart. "Are you suggesting our cabinet has some sort of existential crisis, torn between its open and closed states?"

"You started it by leaving it wide open!" you retorted, pointing a playful accusatory finger at her. Crowley's expression turned playful as well, their eyes gleaming mischievously. "Well, if you ask me, it's a clear case of cabinet freedom. Just embrace its rebellious spirit!" You shook your head, still chuckling. "Fine, fine. Next time I'll be sure to consult with the cabinet before attempting to close it." Crowley feigned a sigh of relief. "Finally, cabinet diplomacy at its finest." You both shared a laugh, and with the tension diffused, you turned your attention back to the task at hand – the dishes. But as you began washing, you felt someone’s hand wrapping around your waist “I am sorry for that truly angel” Crowley whispered making you smile and shake your head “now look who is going against our cabinets rebellious spirit” as you said that Crowley laughed knowing you had forgiven them. {Flashback ends}

Crowley had pushed herself to stand up and staggered into the hall with the bottle and sweater in his hand when their eyes drifted to the thermostat in the hallway triggering another memory.

{Flashback} You stepped into your apartment, the memory of a fun lunch with Aziraphale still lingering, a sudden blow of cold air slapped you like an unexpected icy shower. You involuntarily shivered and called out, "Crowley, dear?" There was a pause, and then Crowley's voice floated from somewhere within the apartment, dripping with feigned innocence. "Yes, my sweetheart?" You continued walking further into the living space, brows furrowed as your breath visibly puffed out in the chilly air. "Why is it so cold in here?" you asked, your voice laden with bewilderment. "Oh, is it now?" Crowley replied, an exaggerated gasp in their tone. "Must be the work of that mischievous fairy again." You rolled your eyes, not buying into the act. "Crowley, stop messing around. Did you mess with the thermostat again?" A dramatic sigh emerged from the direction of the thermostat, as if it held all the world's woes. "Darling, I must confess, the thermostat and I have become quite the friends lately. It's nothing personal, really. We just found a common interest in creating an arctic ambiance." You crossed your arms, exasperated. "This isn't funny, Crowley. It's freezing in here!"

"Oh, come on, angel," Crowley cajoled, her voice dripping with amusement. "Think of it as an opportunity to embrace your inner polar explorer." Your patience was wearing thin. “I don't want to embrace any polar explorer tendencies. I just want a comfortable temperature in my own home!" Crowley's voice took on a faux-hurt tone. "But, my dear, I thought you loved a little chill in the air. You know, sets the stage for warm cozy cuddles and all that." You tried hard not to smile "Cozy cuddles are great, but not when I can see my breath indoors!" you retorted, your tone a mixture of exasperation and amusement now. There was a pause, and then Crowley's voice softened slightly. "Alright, alright, I may have turned the thermostat down a bit." You huffed, torn between annoyance and amusement. "Why would you do that?"

"Oh, just to keep things interesting," Crowley replied with a nonchalant shrug that you could practically hear through their words. "Besides, it's quite amusing watching you walk around like a penguin in our own home." You sighed, giving in to a chuckle despite yourself. "You're impossible, you know that?"

"But you love me for it," Crowley purred, their tone filled with smugness. You shook your head, unable to suppress a smile. "Yes, I suppose I do." The two of you exchanged playful banter for a moment longer before reaching a silent agreement. The thermostat was soon adjusted to a more reasonable temperature, and as the warmth returned to the apartment as you moved to hug Crowley to steal their warmth “you owe me cuddles now” Crowley couldn’t help but smile and kiss your forehead… {Flashback ends}

Crowley felt like he was about to lose it, lose herself. Memories flooded in, each triggered like a cosmic punchline in some never-ending joke. Your laughter, so full of joy, echoed through every room, every hall they entered. With each step, she couldn't help but wonder: What was the point of all this? Why was she being bombarded with memories if you were already taken away from them? It was as if the universe was toying with them, pushing their limits.

Crowley's mind, always curious, couldn't help but question the unfairness of it all. The way things worked above and below seemed twisted. Disagree, and you're cast out. Ask a simple question, and you're condemned. Protect what matters, and you're met with scorn from all sides. The more she thought about it, the more he realized the irony of heaven and hell. They were supposed to stand for righteousness and damnation, but they felt more like an illusion. The very fight between them seemed pointless now, as if both were in the wrong. A scoff escaped Crowley's lips. Heaven and hell, once archenemies, now looked like different sides of the same coin.

What made all worst was the fact both hell and heaven had taken the last thing they cherished. It felt like there was no point in staying and enduring the searing ache every time thoughts of you surfaced. Nothing mattered anymore, everything was cast in shades of grey. Colourless, like it used to be before you, before you entered Aziraphale's bookshop on that rainy day. The day when Crowley's existence gained vibrancy, even in her endless life. Crowley couldn’t help but let out a wry chuckle at the memory when they came face to face with the locker, the locker that held the answer to their emptiness without you. . This was the key to filling the void left by your absence, the answer might be the path to finding you again, even if it meant tolerating a bit of pain. Compared to what you had gone through, it was a small price, Crowley thought. With slightly unsteady hands, he unlocked the locker, revealing a thermos filled with holy water. The solution was within reach—a step away. Seeing the thermos, an idea forms in Crowley’s mind: to end it all. A way to reunite with you, to hold you once more in her embrace. What reason was there to linger in a world that had lost its lustre?

Crowley willed herself to grab the thermos before sliding down the wall, the bottle of talisker scotch sat beside them as they held your sweater close their chest with the thermos of holy water in the other hand, he couldn’t help but laugh “the time has finally come, huh?” he unscrews the top of the thermos seeing the liquid in it shimmered, the soft glow of the room reflecting off its surface. It was a symbol of purity, of divinity, of everything that was meant to be beyond their grasp. A bitter smile tugged at Crowley's lips as she contemplated the ultimate paradox: an immortal demon tempted to consume the very essence that would destroy him.

Crowley took a deep breath before lifting the thermos up to their mouth, memories continued to surge within him, memories of laughter, shared moments, and unspoken promises. Memories of you. But just as their lips grazed the brim of the thermos, a voice broke through the heavy silence. "Crowley."…

{Your pov}𝖶𝖾𝖾𝗄𝗌 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗉𝗉𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗒, 𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝖽𝖺𝗒 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝗈𝖼𝗈𝗈𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖺𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍, 𝖺 𝗉𝗋𝗂𝗌𝗈𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝗁𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗈 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗆𝗂𝖽𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗎𝗍𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗅𝖽. 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝖼𝖼𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖺𝗅 𝖾𝗇𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖢𝗋𝗈𝗐𝗅𝖾𝗒 𝗈𝗋 𝖠𝗓𝗂𝗋𝖺𝗉𝗁𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗌𝗉𝗂𝗇𝖾. 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗎𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗆𝖾𝖽: 𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗃𝗎𝖽𝗀𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖻𝖾? 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝖾𝗏𝗈𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝖽𝗂𝗌𝗀𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗍𝗐𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽. 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗅𝖽 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝖺𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗈𝗇 𝖺 𝖼𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅 𝗀𝖺𝗓𝖾, 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗌𝗂𝖿𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗂𝗌𝗈𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗂𝗆𝗆𝗈𝖻𝗂𝗅𝗂𝗓𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝖽, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝖾𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖾𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗂𝗇 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝖼𝖾. 𝖣𝖾𝗌𝗉𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝗎𝗋𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗄 𝗌𝗈𝗅𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝖢𝗋𝗈𝗐𝗅𝖾𝗒'𝗌 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝖾𝗇𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝗌𝖾𝗇𝗌𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝗎𝗅𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈𝗐𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝖺𝗅𝗒𝗓𝖾𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎. 𝖨𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗂𝖽𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅𝗇𝖾𝗌𝗌, 𝖺 𝖿𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗍 𝗂𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝗏𝗈𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗌𝗉𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽, 𝗎𝗋𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗄 𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗄 𝗌𝗈𝗅𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝖢𝗋𝗈𝗐𝗅𝖾𝗒'𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗆𝗌. 𝖨𝗍 𝗍𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗌𝖾 𝖾𝖿𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝖾𝖺𝗋, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗁𝗈𝗐, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖺𝗀𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗈𝖺𝗑 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇. {Your pov ends}

Crowley almost wanted to laugh, to laugh at the insanity. Their minds was playing games on them like they thought it was playing when he first saw you in the bookshop. ‘When we first met, something about you felt distant, like a dream I couldn't grasp. Something about you felt made up like you were a fragment of my imagination’ Crowley thought as they closed their eyes hearing your voice again, they wanted to scream and laugh from how delusional he was getting ‘but you breathed life into me, made me feel like I wasn’t lost something I hadn’t felt ever since I fell from heaven and even then it felt like God was playing one of her sinister jokes on me.’ but something snapped when she heard footsteps, when she sensed your presence. Crowley opened his eyes to see you standing there he couldn’t help but actually laugh as he thought ‘God is enjoying this little game’ but as you stepped forward they moved back not knowing how you could be alive despite all logic ‘You literally fell from heaven without wings!’. Crowley shook her head and moved to take the drink of the holy water, not wanting to indulge in Gods little games. They took a sip waiting for the searing pain, to feel their insides burn only for nothing to happen to see you rushing forward, they grabbed the bottle of scotch throwing it at you hoping it would pass through you as he thought you were a mere hallucination but you dodged just in time before rushing over to him “Crowley” you took the thermos from them “y-yo-you did-didn’t” you looked into the thermos before looking at a drunk beyond belief Crowley.

Your eyes, so familiar and kind but they held a mixture of concern and compassion as they met his. As you reached out, your fingers brushed against Crowley's cheek, a jolt of realness coursed through him. The touch was so vivid, so touchable, that it erased any lingering doubts. Crowley's eyes searched yours, searched for the truth they longed to find. "wh-why did you do this?" you asked, your voice soft yet urgent, as if trying to bridge the gap between past and present. Crowley felt a rush of emotions welling up within herself, a mixture of relief, confusion, and a lingering sense of vulnerability. They smiled, a smile that held the weight of years of pain and longing. "I didn't know if you were real" Crowley admitted, their voice carrying the raw honesty of someone who had been pushed to their limits. "The last few weeks I've spent drowning in doubts, in memories that felt like they were slipping through my fingers." his grip on your sweater tightened, as if to ground themselves in the reality. Crowley's gaze dropped, her fingers tracing patterns on the fabric of your sweater. "I thought I was losing my mind, that I was trapped in some sort of twisted dream. And I... I couldn't bear the thought of being alone, of never seeing you again." The vulnerability in their words was visible, a confession of the depths to which he had sunk in his desperation to hold you again.

You were left speechless, Crowley never showed such raw emotions. Yes, they shared what they were feeling but never did he cry in front of you. Crowley had looked up at you again, their eyes glistened with tears as they stained his cheeks “but I’m here now” you whispered trying your best not cry, you had to hold yourself strong so you could reassure crowley that you were indeed real. Crowley’s voice trembled “yes, you are here now, and I... I don't know how to process it. I want to believe, more than anything, but I'm so scared that this is just another cruel trick up God’s sleeve” In that moment, Crowley felt like a wounded soul, caught between the promise of a second chance and the fear of having their heart shattered all over again.

As Crowley's emotions swirled like a hurricane of uncertainty, you looked at her with such tenderness, your voice carried the weight of the connection between the two of you as you whispered “Crowley, look at me. Feel the warmth of my touch. Can you doubt the reality of this moment, when every fibre of your being responds to my presence? Me being here isn’t a twisted trick or a cruel joke. I’m here, with you, by you” Your thumbs brushed away the tears on Crowley’s cheeks. “I’m not a mirage, nor a shadow of the past. I'm right here, by your side.” You reassured them again “Every moment we've shared, every laughter and tear, they're all real, Crowley” Crowley's vulnerability melted in the warmth of your words, their eyes fixed on yours as if seeking solace in the depths of your existence.

As Crowley gradually sobered up, an unspoken question hung in the air, creating a noticeable tension. However, you refrained from addressing it, fearing that he might notice the missing fragment within you. You didn't want him to realize that you were missing a piece of yourself. Amidst their sniffles and a sore throat from weeks of silence, their own voice was shaky yet determined “Angel,” she began “if you were here all along, why…why didn’t you come here sooner?” you looked away from Crowley, a complex web of emotions swirling within you. Confronting the truth of your own feelings seemed daunting, almost unbearable “Raphael… please, tell me.” The name hit you like a ton of bricks. Crowley had never addressed you by that name before, except once, a millennia ago. It carried a weight of history and intimacy that was rare between you two, he usually called you angel or some other term of endearment. “That's not... not my name anymore” you admitted, your voice heavy with the weight of your confession. “I'm... I'm a fallen angel, Crowley. A wingless, fallen angel.”

A mixture of empathy and disbelief crossed Crowley's features. She could sense the self-disgust that had seeped into your words. “I'm a fallen angel too” she softly replied. “Yet, you don't hate me. So, why harbour this hatred for yourself?” Their fingers gently tilted your chin, coaxing you to meet their gaze. However, you turned your eyes away, the intensity of your self-loathing making it impossible to hold his gaze. You started to speak, but your voice quivered, causing you to pause. With a determined shake of your head, you silenced yourself, the words caught in your throat. "You—," you began to say, only to halt as your voice wavered once more. Collecting your thoughts, you continued, "You are just a fallen angel, Crowley. But I… I don't have my wings. I lack possibly the only thing I ever liked about my—myself." You sighed as your voice cracked before continuing “I thought you’d hate me…you’d hate the fact I am broken now. After all an angel without their wings is a laughing stock” The vulnerability in your words struck Crowley deeply. She found it hard to reconcile the image of you, the being she had cherished and admired, with the anguish you were currently wrestling with. Her heart ached, realizing the extent of your inner turmoil, her own feelings welled up inside her.

As Crowley gazed upon you, their eyes softened with a warmth that could melt away the heaviest burdens. A gentle smile tugged at the corners of their lips, a mixture of affection and understanding radiating from their very being. With a gentle touch he cupped your cheek, guiding your gaze back to meet his “listen to me, my dear” Crowley's voice held a soothing rhythm, like a lullaby meant to comfort troubled souls. Something that was so rare for their voice, for Crowley herself “I've seen you through eons, through highs and lows, through darkness and light. Wings or no wings, that doesn't define who you are, what makes you, well, you, goes beyond physical forms and celestial titles.” Crowley could still see the doubt in your eyes as he smiled before he continued “Your kindness, your strength, and your very essence – that's what drew me to you in the first place.” Her thumb brushed away a stray tear that had escaped your eye like you had done for her. Their gentle smile seemed to radiate a kind of tenderness that only they could offer “And believe me, my love, if there's one thing I've come to understand, it's that love transcends all. I've loved you for who you are, for your heart, your spirit, your essence. The wings were just a beautiful accessory to the magnificent soul that you are. So, don't you see? You are cherished, and you are loved – wingless, fallen, or whatever you might be. And as long as I'm here, you'll never face this journey alone. We'll rebuild together, in our own way, with love as our guide.”

In that moment, amidst the fragility of your emotions and the weight of your confessions, a connection tightened between you and Crowley. It was a connection built upon shared struggles, a reminder that even in the darkest moments, you were not alone. And as you both sat there on the floor of Crowley’s well your shared apartment, grappling with your insecurities, a glimmer of understanding sparked, promising the possibility of healing and acceptance.

i hope you all enjoy this, and i hope you all have a good day/night

#anthony crowley x male reader #crowley x male reader #aziraphale x male reader #good omens #good omens x male reader #anthony j crowley x male reader #x male reader #x ftm reader #anthony j crowley x ftm reader #anthony crowley x ftm reader

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ourtearsofrain · 7 months ago

Text

Slow It Down (D.R.W/S.F.K)- Chapter 2

Pairings: Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka, (barely a mention of) Josh Kiszka x Male O.C.

Genre: angst, small fluffy brotherly moment between Jake and Danny

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: drinking, smoking, capital “A” Awkward reunion between Sam and Danny, painful flashback of unrequited feelings, argument/heated convo between Sam and Danny, miscommunication

A/N: Yes, I did put Austin (Josh’s O.C. boyfriend from Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy) in this even though this series is separate from that universe because I love him so much. Same O.C., different universe.

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Daniel. He only calls me that when he’s mad at me. He only called me that when he was mad at me. The tension between them is thick enough to cut with a knife, and each set of parents share confused looks at their less than enthusiastic reunion. Josh comes to the rescue, clearing his throat loudly and grabbing Danny’s arm as he passes him, dragging him over to Jake where he stood making the drinks. “C’mon Daniel, start chugging. Jake and I are already three drinks in.”

“Joshua!” Karen’s scolds her oldest son this time, breaking the tangible awkwardness between Sam and Danny as everyone resumes what they had been doing prior to Sam’s entrance.

“What? It’s summer break, day drinking is socially acceptable.” He shoots her a smile as she rolls her eyes, busying herself with helping Sam take the rest of the watermelon to the tables as Josh turns back to the other two men. The smile leaves his face instantly as he gives Danny a concerned look, handing him his drink as Jake works on their refills. “The fuck was that?”

“What do you mean?” Danny takes a sip of his drink, grimacing slightly at the amount of alcohol Jake had put in it.

“The fucking ‘Hey Sam’, ‘Daniel’. Did you guys get in a fight recently or something?”

“No.”

“Then what happened? You guys are best friends, as close as Jake and I are.”

“No, Josh. You, Jake, and Austin are my best friends. I haven’t spoken to Sam since I moved to New York.”

“What?!” The twins speak at the same time, their faces identical looks of shock as their jaws drop.

“Yeah uh, guess we just grew apart.” Or something like that.

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August 4th, 2017, 3:27 AM; The Wagner House’s roof.

“Promise me you won’t forget me.” Sam’s words are quiet, the crack in his voice loud in the still of the night. Danny glances over at his best friend, the tears in his eyes catching the light of the waxing moon.

“What? Sam, of course I’ll never forget you. How could I?”

“I don’t know, it’s stupid. Just… Jake and Josh left, and now you. You’re all off to bigger and better things than Frankenmuth has to offer, and I’ll just be here. Alone.”

“Come with me then. Come with me to New York, you can enroll at NYU for Spring semester next term, live with Josh and I.”

Sam shakes his head with a halfhearted smile, his tears finally escaping as they roll down his cheeks. “Na, you know I’m not a big city guy. Besides, you guys probably don’t want me there…”

Danny laughs in disbelief. “What are you talking about, Sam? Of course we want you there.”

“I mean it Danny. That’s just… not for me. You guys will move away, find a new life, hell, fall in love. And I’ll be here.”

“Come with me, Sam.” Danny begs, his heart breaking at each word that came from his mouth.

“No, Danny. Why the hell do you want me to come with you so fucking bad?”

Before he can think or try to stop himself, Danny grabs the sides of his face, pulling him towards himself until their lips meet. Hope flickers in his stomach as he feels Sam begin to kiss him back until he abruptly pulls away, out of his touch. He stands quickly, wiping his tears away roughly as he begins to back towards the open window of Danny’s bedroom.

“I- I have to go. Goodbye, Daniel. See you arou- see you when I see you.” And just like that, he’s gone, disappearing into the window. 15 seconds later, he sees Sam jog towards his own house, his front door slamming behind him as Danny can do nothing but sit frozen in shock.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. What have I fucking done? Danny pulls his knees to his chest, his head dropping as he begins to sob, truly alone in the dead of the night.

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“What do you mean you ‘grew apart’?” Jake’s question rips Danny from his memories, who tries to keep his voice even as everything he felt that night resurfaces.

“He didn’t call, didn’t pick up when I called. I guess our schedules just didn’t line up when I visited.”

“You’re telling me you guys literally haven’t spoken, haven’t seen each other since the day you left??” Josh’s eyebrows furrow as he glances back to his youngest brother, anger beginning to show on his face.

“Nope.” Danny takes the opportunity to down the rest of his drink as the twins both look over to Sam, sitting alone trying to ignore them. Trying to ignore Danny.

“What the fuck??” Jake sets down his drink, beginning to start towards Sam. “I’m gonna rip him a fucking new one. That little shit doesn’t get to just ignore his best friend of 11 years just because he moved for college.”

“Jake, wait!” Danny catches his arm, preventing him from continuing on his path. “Please just drop it, it’s fine. We can coexist this summer, and then I’ll go back to New York for school, and it’ll be done and over with. I swear, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Whatever. I’m still gonna be passive aggressive towards that twerp all summer. Little asshat.” Jake shakes his head, anger still visible on his face but slowly diminishing.

“Me too.” Josh says in solidarity, looking sincerely at Danny.

“It’s cause he’s the youngest, thinks he can get away with anything.” Jake grumbles before noticing Danny’s empty cup. “Refill?”

“Uh, yeah, thanks.” Danny suddenly feels as if he’s being watched, and he looks behind him only to see everyone else talking, immersed in their own conversations and unaware of the one that had just occurred between the three men. That is until he glances over to where Sam sat, seeing his eyes fixed on him with an unreadable expression. The second Danny makes eye contact, he looks away quickly, pretending to be interested in the grass at his feet.

Bastard. If anyone should be staring, it should be me. I just fucking know he wore that outfit to torture me, maybe see if I still had feelings or something. Why the fuck else would he wear those tiny ass blue swim shorts and only do the bottom two buttons of his shirt. It’s fine, Danny. Just don’t look at him the rest of the night, just ignore him and everything will be fine.

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10:29 PM

Danny’s plan had worked for the most part throughout the night, paying Sam no mind as he tried his best to enjoy his time with his family. It hadn’t exactly been hard as Sam had maybe said ten words all night, preferring to sulk away from the group even as the Kiszka and Wagner parents kept trying to include him in conversations. At around 10 pm, Sam excused himself for the night, grumbling some excuse about being tired only for his brothers to ridicule him about how “early” it was.

As the night had gone on, Danny kept downing every drink Jake made for him, quickly becoming tipsier than he had intended to be. Luckily, the twins kept up with him, drinking just as much (and more than likely, more than Danny had).

“Dannyyyyyyy.” Jake whines at him from his camping chair as they all sat around a small fire pit, toasting marshmallows for S’mores. “Do you still have your old guitar? Wanna play but mines back at my place in Chicago and I don’t wanna ask Sam to use his.”

“Yeah, I do. Hasn’t been used in ages and I lost my tuner when I was packing though.”

“S’fine, I can tune by ear. I’m practically a pro.” He giggles at his own comment, beginning to sway gently in his seat as he watches Danny stand.

He wobbles on his feet for a moment before finding his balance, carefully navigating around the fire. “I gotcha Jake, be back in a second.”

“Yaaaaay.” Jake and Josh cheer in unison, with everyone knowing that Jake’s playing would surely be accompanied by Josh singing.

“Best little brother ever. Love you, Dan.” Jake calls after him as he starts across the yard.

“Love you too Jake!” He can’t wipe the smile off his face as he walks through the side door, remembering how good it felt to be surrounded by his family again. Unfortunately, it’s wiped from his face when he immediately sees Sam sitting on the curb of the sidewalk between their houses smoking a cigarette. He just had to fucking pick somewhere I would have to pass him, didn’t he. Danny tries to make as little sound as possible as he walks behind him, hoping he won’t notice, or if he did, he wouldn’t say anything.

“Hey.” Shit. Danny stops five feet away from Sam as he looks behind him, directly at Danny.

“Oh, so you’re talking to me now?”

“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

Anger floods Danny as he stares back at Sam in disbelief at the audacity of his question. “What the fuck do you think it means, Samuel? You ignored me for three years and then continued to ignore me the entire night. Don’t pretend we’re all buddy buddy again.”

“You’re the one that kissed me, you don’t get to be mad I needed space.”

“MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE KISSED ME BACK!” The volume of his voice surprises even himself, quickly lowering it as he continues for fear that the others will hear. “I have every right to be angry at you, Sam. You were my best friend. You could have talked to me about it. You should have talked to me. I would have respected your boundaries, and we could have moved on like nothing happened. You don’t get to use the past to be an asshole to me now.”

Sam says nothing as he looks over Danny, his expression once again unreadable. “You grew your hair out long.” His voice is quiet, following his statement with a long drag of his cigarette.

“Yeah. I did. It’s been three fucking years. Maybe you would have known that if you cared enough to answer my calls.”

“It hasn’t been three years.”

“Y’know what, Sam? You’re right. It’s been two years, ten months, and 15 days.” Angry tears threaten Danny’s lash line as he stares Sam down.

“Jesus Christ, you’ve been counting?”

“Of course I have, Sam. Why wouldn’t I count the days since the biggest mistake of my life?” Danny spits the words out, already done with the conversation and using everything in him to keep himself from walking away then and there. Sam says nothing, silence falling between them as he takes another drag from his cigarette. “Unbelievable.” Danny scoffs as he shakes his head, resuming his path to his house and leaving Sam alone on the curb.

“You weren’t the one that made the mistake that night.” Sam whispers, but Danny’s already too far away to hear him. He puts his cigarette out on the asphalt beneath him, his stomach twisting as tears silently roll down his cheeks.

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taglist: @gretnavannfleet @aioba1503-sdm @jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka @milojames16 @theres-a-tvjoe @sanguinebats @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @currentlyfangirling10

(The tags have been funky, so if it didn’t work, let me know)

#greta van fleet #greta van fleet fan fiction #gvf fic #daniel gvf #sam gvf #sanny gvf #greta van angst #greta van fluff #sam kiszka x danny wagner #sam kiszka #danny wagner

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starboybutler · 11 months ago

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Blue Christmas

summary: austin throws a christmas party while elvis is feeling fuzzy.

word count: 1.6k

warnings: age regression, pure fluff

notes: this is actually a bday gift for one of my mutuals!! @mooodyblue happy (early) birthday lily!!! hope u enjoy and have a happy birthday 🫶🏽

christmas was elvis’ favorite holiday.

a lot of people said christmas was their favorite, but elvis held it near and dear to his heart. he loved it all– the lights, the gifts, being with family, cooking food– all of it. it made him feel like he was a boy again, pestering his mama about whether or not they’d see santa in their small little armpit of a neighborhood. he’d always fall asleep though– and wake up to one or two presents underneath their small tree.

they were never big gifts, and that was fine, because just being there with his momma was enough for him.

elvis, despite his big and loud lifestyle, actually liked small, quiet christmases. he loved when it was him, and a handful of people that he held near and dear to his heart.

this year, however, austin had decided to throw a little christmas party. elvis was surprised by this, because austin was a pretty reserved person. he didn’t like crowds– they made him nervous– and he was a wallflower at parties. but he told elvis that it would be small– just a few friends and some family that were coming to visit him, and that they wouldn’t stay long at all. austin said he was allowed to invite some of his friends, but…

it didn’t matter. elvis would get through it fine. he was looking forward to spending one on one time with austin, but if there were a few people around, he could handle it. he was a little worried about them figuring out his identity, but austin said he had told them some lie about him being a friend that just looked a lot like elvis– or something like that. whatever.

the day of the party came– christmas eve– and elvis was able to greet everyone with a smile and a handshake, despite that fuzziness in the back of his head. there was austin’s older sister, ashley, and his close friend, also ashley– and his dad, and an aunt, and someone’s boyfriend– and a baby–

about ten people in total showed up. it wasn’t a ridiculous amount, but it was more than elvis was expecting. he saw austin shoot him a nervous look from the corner of his eye, before trying to get everyone settled in the living room. he heard mumbles of people telling him he had a nice place, or that he really did have a friend that looked like elvis.

after that, austin approached him, smiling softly.

“i know i said a few people–”

“it’s fine, aus.” elvis said, waving him off. “y’don’t gotta justify nothin’ to me. it’s your party. i’m fine.”

the blonde looked unsure, gently taking elvis’ hand in his. “y’sure? you don’t have to pretend to be alright with this– i know this isn’t what you were expecting, and–”

“it’s alrght,” elvis hums, rolling his shoulders. “i’ll jus’ try an’ sit back. observe.”

austin gave him a warm smile, caressing his knuckles with his thumb. “lemme know if y’need me at all, okay?”

elvis nodded, and trailed behind austin to the couch, waving meekly at everyone. they all began talking, gossiping about things elvis didn’t quite get and people he didn’t know. he felt so out of place, but he did his best to look like he was somewhat invested in the conversation.

as time went on, he zoned out. he couldn’t stay focused on anything– even if he tried. that fuzziness in his head tried to take over, but he was determined to let austin have a good time. he tried not to give into that feeling or those thoughts. he tried not to think about how nice it would be to get nice and comfortable in his favorite pajamas right now– or how he desperately wanted to watch cartoons while snuggled up in the blankets on the bed upstairs– or how he really wanted a pb and j and some milk.

“...e? e? what about you?”

“huh?” elvis hummed, snapping out of his thoughts abruptly. “what about me?”

“you enjoyin’ the party? y’seem a little in your head.”

it was austin asking, but the whole room was staring at him, waiting for an answer. that didn’t help the tiny feeling in his brain as he scrambled to answer, the words seeming to get stuck in his throat. “i–”

he stuttered something awful, his cheeks flushing as he began to fidget with the sleeves of his sweater. “i-i– yeah, i’m…it’s fun. f-fun.”

the room accepts his response, but austin furrows his brows in worry as he gently grabs elvis’ hand.

“uh– we’ll be right back.”

austin pulled him up, leading him into the kitchen gently. elvis felt dazed and small and stupid for stuttering like that, in front of all those people, but all of that melted away when austin’s thumb gently brushed against his cheek.

“hey now,” the blonde crooned, his eyes gently glimmering with all of the pretty colors of their christmas lights. “whatsa matter, huh? you look all sad.”

elvis swallowed hard, wanting so badly to lie and try to spare austin’s feelings– but the more he thought about going back out there in his dumb sweater and uncomfortable pants, the more he cracked and just sniffled, overstimulated.

“i hate it, momma.” elvis whimpered, eyes watering with unshed tears. “too many people– ‘s all loud and hot and this sweater is itchy– i jus’ wanna snuggle with you and watch cartoons.”

“oh, baby,” austin frowned, taking elvis’ hands in his and caressing his knuckles. “why didn’t you say nothin’? i told you i was right there if ya needed anything.”

elvis sniffled softly, his cheeks flushing as he murmured quietly. “wanted you to have fun, momma. d-didn’t want you t’worry ‘bout me.”

“baby.” austin sighs, pulling him in for a tight hug, immediately making him melt into the warm crook of his neck, sniffling softly as the blonde rubs soothing circles into his back. “i’m your caregiver, i’m supposed to worry about you. you’re my little prince, and i’m your momma. i would do anything for you. you got that?”

“b-b-but–”

“no buts,” austin hushes, running his fingers through elvis’ soft locks. “how about this– you go upstairs ‘n get comfy, and i’ll be up there in a few minutes, okay?”

“okey,” he sniffed, pulling away from austin reluctantly and walking towards the stairs, hearing austin reassure the group of people behind him that he was perfectly fine.

he reached the bedroom and sat on the bed, fidgeting with his fingers as he waited for austin to show up. he heard their voices down there– faint and mumbly, and then a door closing.

the room to the door opened, and austin smiled at him softly.

“hi baby.”

“hi momma.” elvis muttered, rocking back and forth idly. “where’d everyone go?” he asked, noticing the lack of mumbling from downstairs.

“i sent ‘em home.”

“wha– why?” elvis whined, a little embarrassed. “y-y’didn’t have to– i-i didn’t mean f-for you to end the whole thing!”

“it’s not a big deal.” he said. shrugging. “besides, i was gettin’ a little tired too. and i missed my baby.” he hummed, pressing a noisy kiss to elvis’ cheek.

elvis whined, his face flushing as austin’s plush lips met his cheek. “momma!”

“sorry, sorry, i know how you are about kisses.” he hums, sitting next to him. “you ready to watch a movie?”

“r-really? wh-which movie?”

“any movie you want.”

“o-oh, uh…c-can we watch the grinch?” elvis asked eagerly, practically bouncing as he looked up at austin with eyes that were practically glowing.

“of course. let’s get your pjs on first.” he hummed, taking elvis’ hand and standing him up, letting him look at his options in the drawer before him. “pick a pair.”

“oooh….uhm, i want the pink ones!” he decided, his thumb making its way between his lips as he spoke. “the ones with the yellow stars,”

“okay prince.” austin hummed, before tsking and pulling elvis’ finger away from his mouth. “nuh uh. we don’t bite our fingers. you want your paci?”

elvis blushed, but nodded shyly. “uh huh.”

austin handed him his favorite pacifier, a baby blue one with little stars scattered all over it, making elvis smile as he took it into his mouth and began suckling idly. austin smiled and ruffled his hair, getting out the pajama set elvis had chosen.

austin sat him down and undressed him gently, poking him in his stomach teasingly every few seconds, making elvis pout and whine. once his shirt was buttoned and his pants were on, austin kneeled in front of him and looked him over once, before sneaking a kiss on top of his pacifier.

elvis went red, but didn’t whine. he just looked away, embarrassed as austin giggled at his expression.

“okay baby, let’s put the movie on. you ready to snuggle with momma?”

elvis nodded, crawling in the bed and snuggling into his usual spot, pulling the blankets to his chin. austin smiles fondly, making sure to grab elvis’ stuffed bear before he crawled into bed next to him. elvis eagerly grabbed his stuffie and snuggled it close to his chest, scooching closer to austin as he settled down next to him, turning the tv on.

it was quiet as austin put the movie on, save for the steady sound of elvis’ breathing. he snuggled into austin’s side as the movie began to play, giggling and smiling at the jokes and such.

not even halfway through the movie, he was fast asleep, his gentle snores filling the room as he subconsciously tried to press closer to austin, hugging his tiny stuffed bear to his chest like his life depended on it. austin couldn’t help but smile down at him, admiring how peaceful he looked as he slept. it warmed his heart seeing him rest– especially since he didn’t get good sleep often. the fact he felt safe and secure enough to sleep in his arms made him proud.

austin turned the tv off, pulling elvis’ head closer to his chest as he settled into the covers himself.

“goodnight, little prince.”

#elvis x reader #elvis x y/n #austin!elvis x y/n #elvis

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skjam · 3 months ago

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Pulp Fanfic Crossover Fodder: Dr. Goldfoot

Note: This is primarily based on Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine (1965).

Little is known of the background of Dr. Goldfoot. This includes not knowing his full name, if that even is his birth name, and where if anywhere he got his doctorate. He claimed descent from a pirate, a member of the Inquisition, and Attila the Hun's mentor in violence.

As of 1965, he appeared to be physically in his fifties, and had resided for some years in San Francisco operating a private cemetery and funeral home as a front for his other activities. It was in this year that he invented his best-known device, the Bikini Machine. The Bikini Machine created humanoid female-shaped robots with fairly complex programming, allowing them a limited ability to pass as human women. Each came with a gold-fabric bikini; it's not clear if they had actual female anatomy underneath that cloth.

Dr. Goldfoot supplemented the basic programming by downloading data from computer tapes directly to their memory banks. This was used primarily for giving them the ability to speak knowledgably about their targets' areas of interest.

The plan was to have these "girlbots" marry wealthy men, strip them of their assets, and transfer the wealth to Dr. Goldfoot. His goals beyond that are unclear.

Due to poor instructions by Dr. Goldfoot's henchman Igor. girlbot #12 "Diane" mistook Secret Intelligence Command (SIC) agent Craig Gamble for her target, millionaire Todd Armstrong. Craig, a nitwit only employed by SIC because his uncle Donald J. Pevney was the San Francisco office chief, only understood that the bizarre-acting woman he'd instantly fallen in love with had suddenly abandoned him (when Dr. Goldfoot corrected her commands) but this was enough to put him on the case.

Diane "met cute" with Todd and quickly persuaded him to marry her. At no time was the marriage consummated, but it's not clear if this was due to incapacity on #12's part or a part of a strategy to string Todd along until she possessed all his assets. Eventually, Craig and Todd teamed up to "rescue" Diane from Dr. Goldfoot, despite the fact she'd already been reprogrammed to forget she ever met them.

After a number of hijinks and a chase through San Francisco, Dr. Goldfoot and Igor were seemingly killed by naval bombardment. In reality, they survived, and the two men and Diane replaced the flight crew on a passenger jet to France.

By 1966, Dr. Goldfoot had become separated from Igor and Diane (the latter of whom may have married the German man she was flirting with on the plane) and was operating out of Italy. (Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs) He'd accepted Chinese funding to rebuild his Bikini Machine. This new version created "girlbombs" that could impersonate specific people and explode on command.

This time, the plan was to disrupt NATO war games by assassinating the various generals involved. The plan was thwarted by another SIC agent, Bill Dexter, and two Italian doormen named Franco and Ciccio. Dr. Goldfoot then attempted to detonate a nuclear bomb in Moscow to start World War Three, but this also failed and he was believed killed in the explosion. In fact, he survived, but no further activity of his has been recorded.

By the 1990s, Dr. Goldfoot's girlbot technology had been acquired by Virtucorp, the front organization for Dr. Evil, and somewhat improved. (See Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.)

Girlbots are very sturdy, able to take a collision with a small automobile without being moved or taking noticeable damage. They can be pierced by small arms fire, but unless vital areas are specifically targeted, this does not impair their function in any way. They're also far stronger than they appear. (Fortunately, most of Dr. Goldfoot's girlbots were not programmed to use violence.) They have radio receivers which allow them to receive commands directly from a console Dr. Goldfoot also invented.

The first batch of girlbots, including #12, were mostly able to impersonate human women, but came off as eccentric. They relied on their good looks and aggressive courting tactics to distract targets from realizing there was anything odd.

In addition to the Bikini Machine, Dr. Goldfoot's technology included: opera glasses that sprouted poison spikes (never used on camera), laser lipstick, the ability to remotely control motorcars, and either remote viewing or multiple miniature cameras placed throughout San Francisco. The latter two were incorporated into the same console he used to communicate with the girlbots. He had some way of reviving the (recently?) dead, but the only person he is known to have used it on was Igor.

Dr, Goldfoot bore a strong resemblance to the actor Vincent Price. He always wore gold-fabric slippers, and it was implied at one point that his actual feet were also golden in color. He was fey in his mannerisms, although he did seem to appreciate the aesthetics of his Bikini Machine creations. He put little value on human life, and was fully willing for his girlbots to eliminate competition the hard way.

The mad scientist's grasp of geopolitics may have been a little shaky. He sent a girlbot with the appearance of a black woman to marry a person who would have been a white man in South Africa at the height of apartheid.

Crossover potential: A rather silly mad scientist who specializes in creating femi-form robots can have many uses, as long as the story is okay with that kind of humor. Assuming nothing else happens to him, Dr. Goldfoot would die of old age in the early 1990s.

Notably, Dr. Goldfoot's headquarters was not destroyed in the movie, so the U.S. government was presumably able to access his technology and study it. ("Top men.") Also, several girlbots were already out on assignment at the time of his defeat, and are presumably loose ends.

SIC is one of the many splinter intelligence agencies the fictional U.S. government sponsored during this time period to increase plausible deniability. The budget was apparently tiny, with the San Francisco office being headquarters in a two-room office, Craig and his uncle being the only two operatives, and Craig not having access to any spy gadgets or even a gun. (His salary was also miniscule--he considered a cheese sandwich at the cafeteria a suitable date meal.)

The fictional agency your main characters belong to may have absorbed SIC and its records if the story is set post-1966.

Have fun!

@krinsbez

#pulp villains #dr. goldfoot and the bikini machine #vincent price #crossover fodder #mad scientist

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momentspause · 9 months ago

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A re-creation

Today, my partner J and I are celebrating our anniversary. There's nobody in the world I would think about experiencing life.

J put a camera in my hands around our 5th anniversary and said, "go, shoot." Later that year, in our small apartment in Denver, we spent an evening playing with light and pumpkins, shooting slow and long exposures on film. We re-created that one night when we were in Austin.

Happy anniversary, my partner. I love you.

#photography #photographers on tumblr #original photographers #black and white photography #film photography

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vintageaustin · 2 years ago

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i've got my eye on you

pairing: austin x reader

summeray; uh reader is getting hate and becomes suicidal austin heps them trough it uh yea

trigger wanrnings: mentions of hate, suicide depresion swearing

authors note; i wrote this from a very persoal pov so if you have any hate keep it to yourself and dont read it please

It wasn’t easy for Austin to see his girlfriend being hated on, no matter what you did it was never good enough for his fans. i mean you were a singer and he was an actor.. the two of you'd been dating for quite sometime now and the hate kept coming but…

In full honesty it shouldn’t matter right? He thought to himself. But that was easier said then done, he loved you and you loved him and that’s all that should matter.

But lately he started to notice his girlfriend giving away things she liked, not even liked, love it could differ from it being your favorite lipstick. To your favorite dress, it was mostly to your friends but…

That didn’t mean he didn’t have his mind on it. If he was honest with himself he saw you losing that twinkle in your eyes. As if you were losing your love for life and he just.. he couldn’t let his baby, his precious girl slip through his fingers like that.

He couldn't have it all gone, after his day off filming he decided to pick up a bouquet of your favorite flowers, sure it was a small gesture but it’s gotta count for something…right? he questioned himself. when he finally got back to you’re shared apartment, he found you sobbing on the couch,

his heart broke at the sound of your sobbing. There you were the love of his life his Everything. Was sitting on the couch wearing her favorite hoodie. And was crying her eyes out, reading all the hate his own God fans posted on internet.

He told her every time again not to look at it. That they weren’t true but she couldn’t help it they haunted her down if they needed to, on to tell her stuff like “you are so fucking ugly” or “Austin deserves so much better”, “I don’t know what he sees in her she’s so talentless”.

To be honest the list went on and on about how much they hated his girl. But what people don’t understand is that words and actions hurt and my god was his girl going. Trough it he gently made his way over to the couch and. Got on his knees in front of you “baby..” he said gently as ever. In a thick southern accent he had due to getting the honors to play the king of rock n roll. In the upcoming biopic Elvis,

“Hey c’mon honey look at me.. show me that pretty face please.” He said gently trying to keep his voice from cracking as his heart was breaking. You looked up at him as you managed to say trough your tears “I-I c-can’t do it anymore aus.. they hate me you ha-“ you cried as he cut you off before you could even finish that sentence.

“Don’t even dare say that I hate you baby. You know I love you… please don’t cry they don’t know what their talking about their dumb, and please don’t say that baby, you’re so strong I know you are darling we can get trough it” he said as he gently grabbed you’re face and placed his lips on yours. Finally letting his tears run over his cheeks,

He looked at her as she let out a soft sigh. It took him a while to speak up again, “ please princess please promise me you won’t … you won’t hurt yourself!” He asked and you looked at him for a moment. “I-….I promise”. You sobbed as he pulled you in a hug and climbed on the couch with you so he could cuddle you. he hate how he saw you lose joy in life, you started to lose joy in making music, you started to lose your passion for singing, the list went on and on.

and austin had only one mission really, that was to make you fall back in love with life

heyyy guys i uh was hopefull to say i'm back fully but i dont think i am since i just posted this while crying, but one day i'll be back you just wait and see

thank you for everyone liking/reblogging my posts it means A LOT as always i love you my munchkins

forever yours j x

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dinsdjrn · 1 year ago

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gone, from austin | j. miller | part two

brothers best friend!pre-outbreak!joel x f!reader

summary: Joel Miller: the one that got away; right person, wrong time. Now you’re back in Austin and it hurts just as bad, as if you’d never left five years ago. [w.c. 2.4k]

warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, no use of y/n, light angst, Sarah is alive and well, f!reader, smoking, depression, brief mentions of a mental breakdown, implied cheating (not joel), ex-lovers to lovers, eventual smut, slow burn, lmk if i missed anything <3

💌 a/n: FINALLY a part two? who am i?? anyways not sure how i feel about this story... but i know how i want it to end so ill keep going for that. lmk your thoughts <3

previous part | next part | masterlist

Part two | May 2002

You were a work of art, that’s the hardest part.

It had been three weeks since you had gotten home. You had become more than a bit of a hermit, looking and applying for jobs. You made yourself sparse in the house, you understood everything your brother did was an open invitation to you, but it was easier to disappear. It also gave you time to process, when you left Toronto it was a whirlwind, but now it was a dulling ache. Friends had reached out, wondering where you went, if you were okay. You gave them enough information so they wouldn’t worry, but not enough to come looking for you.

It was Friday morning, just like any other morning, you were searching through medical journals and websites looking for job postings. Search, apply, wait, and wait some more. It wasn’t very thrilling, but it was something to do to keep your head above water.

The alarm on your phone had begun ringing, 10 am, you reached into your desk drawer and took your meds. They filled a hole in your head you hadn’t known was there until you had a small breakdown two years ago. It was something only a few people in your life knew about, it wasn’t something you ever really wanted out there. There was almost a shamefulness to it, no one in Austin knew, and then one person in Toronto who knew about it was no longer welcome in your life. So you move on, continue as you have and hope that your ticket out comes sooner rather than later.

A soft knock came at your door.

“Come in!” You said, closing the desk drawer quickly.

“Hey! Someone is at the door for you,” Kelsey popped her head in and smiled.

You looked down at your Dell Med School t-shirt and Roots sweatpants and laughed lightly.

“Is it anyone important?” You asked embarrassed gesturing to your pajama centered clothing choices.

“I am sure they won’t even notice.”

You sighed and stood up, you lightly stretched and made your way downstairs. Just as the entryway came into view there was Sarah and Joel, Sarah with her backpack on and Joel shifting uncomfortably looking at the floor.

“Hey guys,” you said, smiling at them.

“Hey!” Sarah smiled.

“What’s up? Shouldn’t you be at school already?” You questioned.

“I had a dentist appointment this morning. We just came back to the house to grab my bag, but I wanted to see if you were around tonight,” She swayed, clearly hoping you’d say yes.

“I’m uh-, not sure,” You looked at Joel for guidance but he wasn’t paying any attention to you his sole focus was on Sarah.

“I just really wanted to have that sleepover you promised! My dad is going out tonight and suggested it would be a good time for us to hang out and -“

“But only if you are available and want to,” Joel interrupted.

“Oh, yeah! That sounds like it could be fun. Why don’t I come over around 5ish and we can order some pizza?” You smiled at her.

It would be much more comfortable without Joel there, you had felt like you were walking on eggshells when he would pop over to have a beer with Jake or help Kelsey fix things around the house.

Joel nodded.

“Alright baby girl, time to get you to school,” he began shuffling Sarah out the door.

“See you tonight!” Sarah called over her shoulder.

You waved at her in response and when the door clicked closed you pinched the bridge of your nose.

“You know, she really did miss having you around,” Kels leaned against the doorway behind you.

“I know,” You sighed, “I just don’t know what I’m getting myself into.”

“What do you mean? You’ve known her since she was just a little kid. You’re not getting yourself into anything except maybe forgiving yourself for hurting her.” Kelsey said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“You don’t fucking get it! This isn’t a permanent solution. I can’t stay, I don’t belong here anymore! I don’t want to get her hopes up that I might by hanging out with her and letting things go back to the way they were. That will just hurt her again.” You snapped, a pang of annoyance in your chest.

“You being here and ignoring her, it hurts them both. You can talk a big game about how you don’t belong here, but this is your home, your family. I don’t know what happened between you and Joel, but it is clear he still cares about you. Is staying really the worst thing? At least thinking about it?”

“They are not my family, you and Jake absolutely are. And you’re right, maybe this was home once, but it’s not anymore. All that’s left is a permanent scar of what could have been. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” You turned to walk up the stairs.

Kelsey came and put her hand over yours on the railing.

“Look I’m sorry if I overstepped. I only want to see you happy,” Her voice was soft and apologetic.

You just nodded in response and made your way back up the stairs, once in your room you made your way to the bed and cried into your pillow. You knew the love for Austin was there, it had always been there, but so was the hurt. The pain would always be there too, it painted your soul in blues and grays. That’s the hardest part, how beautifully life painted your anguish here.

The day came and went quickly, and you felt unprepared for your sleepover with Sarah. You knew it would be nice to hang out, do face masks and watch a few movies, but your anxiety was palpable. You were worried it would feel like grasping at a life you could’ve had, but were strictly denied.

You made your way next door around five and before you could even knock the door had swung open and Sarah was pulling you inside.

“You’re here! Finally, I’ve been thinking about what we could do tonight all day. Dad said he would call a few pizzas in, we went to CVS after school too! I got nail polish, face masks, and some weird snacks,” Sarah spoke excitedly.

It gave you a bit of whiplash, barely able to even get in a few “Alrights” or “Sounds Fun”’s in.

“Woah, woah, Sarah slow down,” Joel said as you made your way into their living room.

He was sitting on the couch in a black t-shirt and Levis, his hair was wet and the messy ways were pushed off his forehead. He was still so devilishly handsome, he never tried too hard with his looks, but that didn’t mean he didn’t look good; it arguably made him more attractive.

“A’right, I’m going to get outta here,” He put his hands on his lap and made his way to stand, “Tommy is gonna be here any second.”

“Dad, did you remember to order pizza?” Sarah asked with a hint of annoyance.

“Oh shit,” he felt his pockets pulling out his phone, “I’ll call on the way over to the bar.”

“Don’t worry about it, Joel. I’ll get it,” You smiled softly at him, pulling out your own phone.

“Y’sure?” He asked.

“Yes, yes, she’s sure, now, go have fun. We have a very important girls night to get started on.” Sarah shooed her father toward the door.

Joel just laughed and rolled his eyes, you shrugged in response.

As soon as you heard the door shut Sarah came rushing back to the living room.

“Sorry, he’s a mess,” Sarah laughed.

“I can see that nothing has changed,” You laughed with her.

You both fell into a comfortable conversation, it was nice to see Sarah so happy. She was completely different then when you had left, yet somehow exactly the same.

The night was spent watching cheesy rom-coms, doing face masks and nails, and eventually Sarah had fallen asleep in her pajamas on the couch. It was nearly one in the morning, you placed a blanket over her small frame and began quietly tidying the living room.

The night had warmed your heart in a way you weren’t sure you’d be able to feel again. Sarah was such a light in your life for so long, and now she was turning into this beautiful and kind teenager. You had talked all about her school, Joel and Tommy’s shenanigans, and what’s been happening around Austin. She didn’t push you though, you had talked about Toronto and being away from home without delving into any fresh wounds.

It was nice, it felt good to know when you left it wasn’t your last memory of Sarah. You worried for years it had been and you’d have to watch her grow through the lens of your brother, but here she was in the flesh.

You sighed, putting the leftover pizza in the fridge and pouring any extra soda from your glasses down the drain. You went and checked on Sarah after you had finished cleaning up to make sure she was still sleeping. She hadn’t even stirred, so you took this as the best opportunity to step outside and have a smoke.

It wasn’t something you were proud of, but was something that you would normally only do after particularly stressful days. Today would classify as one, you didn’t like fighting with Kels. That, plus the anxiety of coming to the Miller’s and not knowing what to expect, warranted a need to de-stress.

You made your way into the backyard, only closing the screen door in case Sarah woke up, and placed a cigarette between your lips. Just as you were searching through your bag for a light a voice startled you.

“Hey, I didn’t know you smoked?” Joel.

Fuck, you knew he probably wouldn’t have been much later, but it felt pathetic to be sneaking a cigarette on his back porch.

“Not often, but you’d be surprised how common it is in healthcare.” You said finding the lighter and lighting the end.

He looked at you for a moment, and you realized maybe he didn’t want you smoking on his back porch.

“Oh, shit sorry, you okay if I-“

“Oh, yeah, I don’t really care,” he hurried before you could finish your question.

“Cool,” you said.

The silence grew uncomfortable between you two.

“I, uh, didn’t mean to startle y’a there,” Joel said.

“Oh,”

“I just saw the light on and wondered if you were out here.”

“And here I was…”

“Here you were,” He shifted, “You always loved it back here. Sitting looking up at the stars after Sarah went to bed.”

“Yeah, I think I missed the stars the most while I was in Toronto,” you sighed.

“I always thought they’d’ve had more stars up there,” he looked up at the sky.

You had finished about half of the cigarette and put it out, it wasn’t doing anything for you at the moment except make you want to shower.

“Not in the city, it was like a shitty, colder, New York,” You laughed.

Joel chuckled at your comment. He came closer to you and leaned on the railing of the deck with you. It felt almost suffocating, he was so close to you and it felt so intimate.

“Y’know, we’re really happy you’re here,” He said quietly.

“Joel, don’t…” you warned.

“I mean it, Sarah never stopped asking about you. She missed you, this girl's night made her whole year.”

“Joel, please,” you whispered, tears welling in your eyes. You already carried so much guilt for leaving Sarah with nothing but a goodbye. You knew he was trying to comfort you but he was crushing your soul with guilt instead.

“I’m sorry darlin’ I just… always asked myself what if things were different. Where we would be, how would Sarah be different if you had stayed,”

His words ignited a fire within you, one that burned in anger and resentment. Who was he to ask what if, when he gave no choice in whether or not you had a chance at finding out.

“We could talk about maybes and what ifs until we’re blue in the face, it doesn’t turn back time. Doesn’t change anything between us. You made a choice, Joel, and so you don’t get the what if’s,” You snapped.

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

“I’m allowed to wonder,” He retorted. “You weren’t the only one hurt, y’know?”

“Well guess what, I wasn’t the one that wanted out when things got a little bit complicated.”

“Wanted out? You think I wanted out?! Fucking Christ, I didn’t want to hold you back. I have no choice but to stay in Austin, letting you go meant that you wouldn’t be tied down here!” His voice was quiet, but he was clearly irritated.

“I didn’t need you to let me go, I’m very capable of making my own choices. And if I had chosen to stay I needed you to tell me everything would be okay.”

You weren’t speaking in a hushed tone like he was. You were frustrated, angry, he had completely backtracked on your breakup. Tears stung your eyes, you were frustrated and confused.

“I’m done talking about this, Joel,” You said, wiping the tears away from your eyes. “You said your piece five years ago, and nothing is going to change that.”

You turned to head back inside, now that he was here you’d be able to walk back over to Jake’s and go to sleep. Make an attempt at forgetting this conversation ever happened and pretend your night ended with you and Sarah asleep on the couch.

Joel grabbed your wrist before you got too far.

“Please, just let me explain.” He pleaded.

You pulled your wrist from his grip and left as promptly as you came.

Your chest was tight and it was as if you could feel your heart shattering all over again into a million little pieces. The ghost of his love haunted you for years. He was still the same man you fell in love with, that much was certain. In that, it also meant, he was still the same man who broke your heart.

And that was a risk you were not willing to take.

To spiral out, to try and float, to see a friend, to see a ghost.

tags: @thetriumphantpanda @fruit-frogs @wand-erer5 @missgurrl @casa-boiardi @harriedandharassed @undrthelights @wishyoudaskme @reader-without-a-story @morning-star-joy @tightjeansjavi & once again sorry if i missed anyone or lmk if youd like to be on the taglist xo.

#joel tlou #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller au #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller angst #joel x reader #joel miller series #joel miller self insert #joel miller story #joel miller smut #pre outbreak!joel

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