#austin j. small
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gay-dorito-dust · 1 year ago
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Can you give us a headcanon about Jason in a relationship?
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Jason is a big man with an even bigger heart, no one can take this away from me, no one. You can try but you fucking can’t.
Being with Jason automatically gifts you with scary dog privileges because whilst to you, Jason is a sweet man who’d get all pouty when you don’t kiss him in the morning or call him by the nicknames you’ve picked out for each other and will make you breakfast in bed because he wanted to show his gratitude to you for staying by him and loving him when he didn’t think you should.
To others however Jason was a this big 6ft something dude who could beat them into next week a multitude of unique ways if they even thought of looking at him funny. He radiates danger just by standing there and yet to you he was the reason that walking home at night from work had become just that little bit easier. It’s not much but it’s enough for you to know that you’ve got someone who’d watch your back vigilantly 24/7.
Jason’s fatal flaw might as well be either loyalty or devotion because this man will not act out of line with you, he refuses to betray and throw away everything you’ve ever done for him just because his eyes lingered elsewhere; which would never happen as Jason’s eyes were firmly locked onto you from morning, noon and night. You were just that perfect in his eyes that he’d rather die again than ever look at someone else the way he does you. You’re his person, his one and only simple as that because you’ve claimed his heart the moment you met.
Your trust is something he values deeply and he isn’t one to play stupid games with your trust either. So if you were to ever tell him about a boundary being crossed or talk about something that rubbed you the wrong way, you best believe Jason will honour that and promise to never do it again.
Two words; Book. Dates.
More specifically the ones where you’d a) go to those cute book cafes where you could enjoy reading your favourite books together in comfortable silences whilst enjoying a warm/cold beverage. Or b) have an in book date within the confines of your shared apartment, where Jason had this small hoard of books he’s been meaning to read, most of which were primarily Jane Austin’s body of work with some of your own recommended books in between.
It’s almost like your own little book club just for the two of you. It’s your thing that you share together that brings you closer together as a couple.
Jason loves it whenever he gets to read one of your favourite books as it brings forth and intellectual conversation between the two of you as you got to hear Jason’s view of the story and characters while Jason got to hear your own point of view; It was beautiful way of admiring the way the other person’s mind worked and find even more ways of falling in love with each other, as if you weren’t already deeply in love in the first place.
Jason loves being near you and once he gets past his aversion to touch, he’ll want to touch and hold you in any given capacity because he’s become well and truly addicted to the feel of your skin against his; so much so to the point where you’ve got him practically melting and closing his eyes in content as he humming in pleasure it almost came across as that of a cat’s purring.
If Jason could he would wholeheartedly want to live out the rest of his life within your arms, they were his safe haven, the one place he could call home as he could let down his guard and just melt into your embrace and allow you to pamper him in kisses and sweet nothings that leave him feeling more warm and loved then before, a tear of two may slip but it’s because he’s so fucking happy to have you in his life. So don’t be frightened when he starts hugging you back tightly, making it near enough impossible to escape his grasp.
Jason is your number one fan. Always has been, always will be. So may your insecurities begone because this man will pull out an exaggeratedly long list as to what about you Jason loved so much.
Spoiler alert: it’s everything. I don’t make the rules because this man will love your gap tooth, your acne scarring, your stretch marks, your love handles, your laugh, your eyes, your voice, your hair. Anything and everything that you’re majorly insecure of Jason will love tenfold because YOU. ARE.PERFECT. THE.WAY. YOU. ARE! And don’t you let some test tell you otherwise!
Also Jason falls under the ‘wear whatever you want, I can fight’ category of boyfriend because it’s not your fault you look drop dead gorgeous.
Hell you could walk in your apartment in sweat pants and an oversized shirt and Jason will stare at you with heart eyes like he would if you were wearing something that you felt confident and sexy in. Please wear it and be your sexy self you sexy bastard! Be the main character in your story!
For by the end of the night Jason will have everyone apologising to you for ruining your night because they thought they could get away with being freaks and weirdos.
Agree or disagree, I don’t care but Jason would 100% would want to take care of the dog -especially if it’s of a breed that’s massively stereotyped as aggressive- you found that was left abandoned in the rain, hurt and suffering back to full health and find it a better home or decided to keep them because he’s grown attached.
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hometoursandotherstuff · 6 months ago
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This stunning 1905 mansion in Chicago, IL is not in the best neighborhood, East Garfield Park, but someone who lives in Chicago said that it's not bad enough to warrant such a LOW price. Someone has applied to buy it, and it's only been on the market for 18 days, but they are still showing it in case the deal falls thru. 6bds, 3.5ba, 5,832 sq ft, $485k. FYI: Systemic disinvestment in communities like Austin, East Garfield Park and West Garfield Park has led to population loss and gentrification over the years. 
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Look at this entrance. The millwork is phenomenal, the floors are original, and that burled wood! Plus, look at the brass railings.
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Isn't this original working fireplace magnificent? Look at the arch and the mosaics.
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It needs a little cleaning, polish, and it will be stunning. The lighting is also original.
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The foyer. You know, call me crazy, but it can't be that bad of a neighborhood if no one broke into those original glass doors.
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Just look at these arches. Wainscoting, too. The floors are original.
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This dining room! The tile floor, built-ins, fireplace, and that raised nook. Just wow. It's being sold as-is, but hey. All it needs is some cleaning up, it's all original.
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Isn't this different? I wonder what this is. Maybe a stage for a small chamber music ensemble to entertain the guests?
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The kitchen was redone at some point, but it's not terrible. (It's the same footprint, maybe the tile is original, counters are marble.) You can work with it.
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This large room has a gorgeous fireplace, built-in shelving and leaded glass windows.
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Check out the home office shelving and fireplace. Even the original mirror is intact.
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The wood is so dry- it really needs some oil and maybe a coat or two of preservative.
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This home deserves some TLC. Looks like they replaced some walls here. This is nice and light- beautiful fireplace and built-ins.
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Oh, I love this big, vintage bath. This is amazing.
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The bedrooms are very large.
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This bath looks like it has a black marble sink. Not bad at all.
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Looks like they put some shelving around this fireplace.
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The attic level is finished. There's a fireplace up here, too, and look at the arches.
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This bath is in good condition.
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Someone started to finish the basement, so there's so much potential here.
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Porte cochere.
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They don't show any gardens, but the lot is 9,375 sq ft.
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The street doesn't look that bad- nice big front porch. The 2 story coach house in the back can be an apt., guest house, or art studio. I think it's a steal.
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History: The home was built by a gambler-
https://www.redfin.com/IL/Chicago/3234-W-Washington-Blvd-60624/home/13261182
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justagalwhowrites · 2 years ago
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So this may be awkward but I saw your dbf fic and thought what about best friend's dad? Obviously it would either have to be a no outbreak au where Sarah is in her 20s or several years after the show when Ellie is an adult. Maybe the oc is a few years older than Ellie or Sarah or whichever you choose. Maybe I just haven't read enough TLOU smut but this is one I haven't seen and I would love to read something like this!
OMG Hi bestie!
So THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT WITH THIS??? You sent this in FOREVER ago but I've been so hung up on Lavender and Beskar Doll I just didn't get around to this.
Anyway, HERE'S THE ASK FINALLY! I hope you like it!
UPDATE A/N: This is now a full series (has been for a while but I just realized I never linked to the master list from here.) If you'd like to read more, you can find it here.
New in Town
When you move to Austin for work, your best friend Sarah recommends that you hang out with her dad, Joel, to get to know the area. Sarah just never mentioned the fact that her dad is just your type.
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Pairing: BFD!Joel Miller x Female Reader
Warnings: SMUT! Fingering, oral (male receiving), protected P in V sex. Legal age gap (Reader is 35 Joel is 47.) No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only
Length: 5.6k (wtf is my problem)
You should have made Sarah text you a picture at the very least. 
The bar was starting to get busy and you’d realized about 15 minutes earlier that you had no fucking clue what your best friend’s dad looked like. 
“You’re sure it’s not weird that I hang out with your dad?” You asked Sarah the morning you left town. 
“It’s not weird,” she waved you off, her curls bouncing. “Promise. He’s not like… an old dad. He’s fun. You get along with me so you’ll get along with him. It’s at least something so you’re not stuck in Austin not knowing anybody.” 
“Yeah,” you nodded and then sighed, looking at your coffee. One last cup of the good stuff in Seattle before your flight in a few hours. 
There was a knot in your stomach at the thought of leaving, now that it was actually here. You’d been in Seattle for two years now after moving here for work. Sarah was the only other woman in your department - not to mention the only other person under 40. She might have been 10 years younger than you but the two of you had become fast friends. She’d been there for a year - she’d started fresh out of college - when you came aboard and was kind enough to let you in on the office politics. 
“So fucking glad to have another girl around here,” she said after you’d been there about two weeks, her arm looped through yours as you walked to a restaurant down the street from your office for lunch. “Lunch just isn’t as good with old dudes…” 
Making friends outside of the office was just as awkward as you remembered and it wasn’t long before you and Sarah were hanging out all the time outside of work, too. She was probably going to be the thing you missed most about Seattle. 
But the promise of a big promotion - setting up your own team at the new branch of your firm in Austin - was too good to pass up. 
“Hey,” she put her hand on your wrist from across the small table. “You’re going to kill it down there. Just remember to demand me when the time comes to add a junior copywriter.” 
“Well, simply no one else will do,” you smiled a little. She laughed. 
You finished your coffee and Sarah dropped you off at the airport - your office paying to ship all your things down - and you flew off to your new life in Texas. 
After a week of settling in, you finally caved and reached out to Sarah’s dad. She told you to just text him and you kind of hoped he wouldn’t respond. Once the ball was in his court, you’d be off the hook. If he never responded and you never met the guy, Sarah could hardly hold it against you. 
“Hi! Is this Joel Miller?” You texted originally, following it up with your name and - just in case Sarah hadn’t bothered to tell him you were going to be texting - some indication that you weren’t a total stranger. “I just moved to town and Sarah told me to text you.” 
“There,” you said to yourself, taking a sip of wine as you sat back on your couch. “Done. Not my problem any….” 
Your phone lit up on your coffee table and you groaned. Of course he texted back. Of course he texted back fucking immediately. 
“Hi,” he said. “Sarah mentioned you might text. Said you might need someone to show you around town. Want to grab a drink later this week?” 
You rapped your fingers against the globe of your glass, the wine lush and red. 
��Sure,” you said. “I don’t start work until next week, so just let me know when and where works for you and I’ll be there!” 
You made plans to meet up two days later. You’d showed up a few minutes early, wanting to get the lay of the land before you met a stranger in a bar. 
Joel, it seemed, was a bit late. You kept looking up at the door, waiting to see someone who looked something like Sarah walk in. But so far, there wasn’t anyone who fit the bill. A few guys who looked like they were UT students deciding to check out something further from campus, four guys who who definitely had just gotten off motorcycles, one man who was almost stupid hot and looked about 10 years too young to be Sarah’s dad and a guy about your age with a date. 
You glanced at your phone. 9:13. At what point did you call it? Maybe try to pick up the hot guy who seemed to be hovering on his own at the bar. You hadn’t gotten laid in a while and you’d at least done your hair and makeup, even if you hadn’t tried to look like you were looking for a hookup. 
Your phone screen hadn’t fully dimmed yet when it lit up bright, vibrating with Joel’s name on the caller ID. You sighed and answered. 
“Hello?” You pressed your free hand against your ear, trying to drown out the sound of the bar behind you, but it sounded noisy on his end, too. 
“Hi,” he said, a bit of a Texas twang in his voice. “Just wanted to make sure you were still plannin’ on comin’ out tonight…” 
“Yeah,” you laughed a little. “I was wondering the same about you, I’m here…” 
“Where?” He said. “Don’t see you…” 
You started looking around then, too, looking at every face at every table around you before you settled on… the stupid hot guy at the bar. 
Who looked too young to have a kid Sarah’s age. 
Who had a phone pressed to his ear. 
Who was now staring at you. 
You raised a hand and smiled awkwardly, giving him a small wave. 
He looked surprised for a moment before hanging up his phone, grabbing his beer from the bar, and heading for your table. 
“I’m so sorry,” he said, setting his drink down across from you and taking his seat. “I didn’t mean to keep you waitin’, I was just expecting someone Sarah’s age…” His eyes went wide for a second. “Not that you look old or anythin’, just… Not what I was expecting.” 
“Yeah, Sarah was the baby of the Seattle office,” you smiled a little. “She’s the best though. Thank God for her, I’d have been so bored there without her.” 
“Yeah,” he smiled and nodded. “She is the best.” 
Up close, Joel was still stupid hot. Uncomfortably hot. It was not fair how hot he was for him to be off limits because he was your best friend’s dad. His hair was dark and a little shaggy and you had to fight the urge to brush an unruly curl back from his brow. His eyes were the warmest brown with a light to them that made you want to just stare at him for a while. His crooked smile with one dimple, his slightly patchy beard, his unreasonably sculpted arms for a man who had to have at least a decade on you unless he was a teenager when Sarah was born. If you hadn’t met him this way, you’d be trying to get him home for at least a one night stand. But he was your best friend’s dad. Even if he made your core tighten and heat pool around your hips. 
It turned out, you and Joel had more in common than you’d expected. You liked the same music and he knew some good live music spots in town. You were both into hiking - and both agreed that the views in this part of the country would be kind of lacking compared to the Pacific Northwest. You both liked trying to find the spiciest food in town and eating it as a matter of principle. 
Of course, you hadn’t spent much time with men the age you THOUGHT Joel was going to be. Your only experience with men in their 50s was at work and that usually involved showing them how to save a word document as a PDF. You’d gone into this expecting to sit awkwardly with the guy for about an hour before going your separate ways. But you were pretty sure he was in his mid 40s, the same age as a lot of the guys you’d gone out with back in Seattle, and the more drinks you had the harder it was to remember that you weren’t on a date. You were hanging out with your best friend’s dad. She probably had to beg him to meet up with you, he probably had a girlfriend he’d much rather be spending time with on a Friday night instead of his daughter’s friend who was new in town. 
But he seemed happy enough to stay for hours. The two of you were laughing over a particularly bad movie you’d somehow both seen - Giant Spider Invasion - when the bar announced last call. 
“Shit,” Joel looked at his watch, clamping his hand over it after a second. “Didn’t realize how late it got. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take up your whole damn night…” 
“No, I’m sorry,” you waved him off, reaching for your phone for the first time in hours to try and order an Uber. “I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than entertain me.” 
“Not exactly,” he half smiled at you. That fucking dimple. “Don’t really got a thirvin’ social life. I get the feeling this arrangement was as much for me as it was you, knowin’ Sarah.” 
“She’s cunning, that one,” you said, putting in your destination address. You groaned. “Shit!”
“What?” Joel asked. 
“Surge pricing,” you sighed. “Come ON, it’s almost 2 a.m., it can’t be that busy…” 
“It’s homecomin’ weekend at the school,” he shrugged. “Everyone’s in town drinking.” 
“That’ll do it,” you sighed, bracing yourself to spend almost $100 on a car ride home. 
“I can give you a ride,” he said. You looked up from your phone, frowning. “I’m good to drive.”
“I don’t want to put you out,” you said, about to push the button anyway. 
“You’re not,” he said. “Trust me.” 
*** 
Joel was very nearly in over his head with you. 
Every part of him was practically screaming “mistake, mistake, mistake, you are a big fucking mistake!” 
You were Sarah’s best friend. 
You were more than a decade younger than him. 
You were starting a new job and a new life and he really shouldn’t be trying to date someone he’d just hold back. 
YOU WERE SARAH’S BEST FRIEND. 
But none of that seemed to matter. He was damn near ready to kiss whatever asshole at Uber came up with surge pricing. He’d never been happier for an excuse to give someone a ride home. 
It had been years - at least - since he’d felt like this about anyone. He’d known you for hours, no time at all, but it felt like years. Like he could say anything to you and you’d understand it. You were obviously smart, so fucking smart. After talking about movies with you for five minutes he was half convinced you saw an entirely different movie than he had, talking about allegories and symbolism and holding onto little lines he wasn’t sure anyone else would notice or think about twice. He wanted to see if you’d let him get to know you that way, if you’d have any interest in trying to know him that way. Fuck, he wanted to know you.
It didn’t help that he’d spotted you the second he was in the bar, absently turning your glass in your fingers, looking at one of the University of Texas themed Bud Light posters on the wall like you were examining it, your eyebrows drawn together, your mind clearly somewhere else entirely. You were fucking gorgeous. Gorgeous in a way that it was a problem, it was distracting, it made him not want to think about or look at or consider anything else. It took conscious effort to not stare at you. When he hadn’t known who you were, he’d been praying Sarah’s friend would stand him up so he could go talk to you. Fuck, he wanted to talk to you. 
And then you answered the phone. 
And you were Sarah’s best friend. 
Fuck.
“You settlin’ in OK and all?” He asked after you gave him your address and he programmed it into Google Maps. 
“Mostly,” you nodded. “It’d be better if I could actually get a maintenance guy to come out to my place but…” 
Joel frowned. 
“What’s goin’ on?” 
“The garbage disposal has a hell of a leak,” you sighed. “I don’t know shit about plumbing so I’m afraid to try to fix it on my own. And the ceiling fan in my bedroom seems like it’s trying break out from its drywall prison whenever I turn it on so that’s been pretty useless. Maintenance keeps saying they’ll come by but they never do. I don’t think I’ll stay in that place longer than a year, this is what I get for apartment hunting from across the country.” 
“I could look at it for you,” Joel shrugged before he was smart enough to stop himself. 
“No,” you laughed and shook your head. “You’ve done enough for me as it is, I cannot ask you…” 
“You didn’t ask, I offered,” he said. “I’m a contractor, my area of expertise is fixin’ shit shoddy builders fucked up. You have plans tomorrow? I can come by, take a look.” 
Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. That’s what he was. Fucking stupid. 
“Tomorrow would be great, actually,” you said. “I’m just about unpacked but I have a whole box of under the sink kitchen stuff that’s still sitting on my table and driving me insane. But you’re sure I’m not putting you out? I swear, it’s nothing that urgent, I just need to light a fire under management’s ass…” 
“Not puttin’ me out,” he smiled a little at the idea of that. Fuck, you were doing him a favor, giving him an excuse to see you again. 
Stupid. 
Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid STUPID. 
SARAH’S. BEST. FRIEND. 
“Early afternoon OK?” He asked. “Unless you gotta be somewhere…” 
“Yeah, so far my vibrant social life here includes you and the barista down the street who now knows I prefer my lattes skim,” you laughed. “I’ll be around, come over whenever works for you. I hugely appreciate it, you have no idea.” 
He watched you go into your apartment when he dropped you off, a townhouse that had definitely been built in the last five years. He sighed and shook his head. Shoddy fucking craftsmanship, things breaking that fast. He’d help you find a decent place when your lease was up. 
As a friend. 
Because he could be friends with you. That would be fine. Encouraged by his meddling but well-meaning daughter who’d arranged this to begin with. Friends help friends apartment hunt. He could be your friend. 
He fucked his hand before he passed out, trying to think of anything besides grabbing you and kissing you at the bar as he did. 
“Hey Dad! How’d it go last night?” 
His eyes were still bleary as he read the text from his daughter the next morning. 
“Hey Baby Girl,” he wrote back, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. How was it already 10 a.m.? How was Sarah a morning person? She sure as shit didn’t get that from him. “Went fine. Your friend seems nice.” 
She wrote back immediately. 
“She’s the BEST. Seriously. Give her like 5 minutes and she’s going to show you the best food in town, she always found the coolest restaurants up here, places no one else from the office even knew existed.” 
Joel smiled a little at that. He’d heard a lot about you over the last few years, now that he thought about it. He wasn’t big on social media so he only ever saw pictures Sarah texted him - usually a selfie in front of some tourist attraction as she stuck her tongue out at him - so he’d never had a face to put to the stories. But you’d become an integral part of her life in Seattle. 
You’d started as a “cool new coworker.” Then you got a name. And then you just became a “we.” “We went to this awesome new restaurant.” “We checked out this concert last night.” “We decided to go up the Space Needle because screw it, why not be a tourist in your own city sometimes?” He never needed to ask who she meant, he knew she was talking about you. 
He just hadn’t known it was you. 
Which was another reason this was stupid. He could not even consider doing something with you, even just in his head, not when you were that close with his daughter. 
“You guys going to hang out again?” She asked. “I think you’d be friends!” 
Joel ground his teeth for a second. 
“Don’t need you to find me friends just because Uncle Tommy got married.” 
Sarah replied right away. 
“Well if you did it yourself maybe I wouldn’t,” she said. “And she needs friends, too. Plus this is really all for my benefit, if she can swing me coming to the new Austin office and y’all are friends, we can all just hang out together. Way easier to coordinate my schedule.” 
Joel laughed a little. 
“Going to help her with something at her apartment today,” he sent back. “We’ll see if she wants me around after that.” 
Joel managed to keep from going to your house the second he was dressed. This wasn’t a problem he’d had since he was a fucking teenager, obsessed with some girl from his bio class. He was looking at his watch every five minutes, hoping it was reasonable to leave his house and go to yours. 
He called it at 11:45. He figured he’d bring you lunch. You said you liked spicy food - the spicier the better - and if your garbage disposal was leaking, chances are you couldn’t cook much. You’d need to eat something. It was the polite thing to do, he reasoned. 
Joel went to his favorite taco truck and got a little bit of almost everything. It was way too much food for two people but fuck it, he didn’t care. As long as it was something you’d like, he really didn’t give a shit. 
You were in some kind of matching not quite sweatsuit when you opened the door, the tan fabric looking so fucking soft. 
“Hey!” You smiled broadly, like him coming over made your day. You looked at your phone screen. “Damn you really mean early afternoon don’t you?” 
He glanced at his watch. 12:23. 
“Figured you could use some lunch,” he held up the takeout bag. “Didn’t think you were able to cook much, disposal outta commission…” 
“Are you really bringing me food when you came over to do me a favor?” You asked, brows raised. He shrugged. “They weren’t kidding about that whole southern gentleman thing, were they?” 
“Gotta give you pretty things some reason to put up with us,” he smiled a little. You smiled back and held the door open for him. 
Your place was sparsely decorated but comfortable and it looked like you were just about unpacked. Joel set the bag of tacos on the small table off your kitchen and you staked your claim to the spiciest one. 
“If it’s too hot for you, no shame in tappin’ out,” he teased, unwrapping his own taco. 
“I eat men with low spice tolerance for breakfast,” you waved him off. “This’ll be cake.” 
You took a bite and chewed for a second before your eyes went wide. Joel tried not to laugh at you. 
“Holy shit,” you held a hand in front of your full mouth as you spoke, your eyes watering. “That’s so hot! How the fuck…” 
“Yeah, you northerners don’t know what you’re dealin’ with,” Joel smirked. “Welcome to the big leagues.” 
“Oh, it’s on now, Miller,” you said, wincing a little. “I’ve got this, you have no idea…” 
He laughed but you finished the taco, eyes watering and face sweating, the whole way. 
“Alright, think you’ve earned some handyman work,” he smiled a little. You chugged water, somehow managing to look good as you did. “Kitchen sink right?” 
“Yeah,” you nodded. “Run the water for longer than 30 seconds and it leaks like crazy…” 
He did as you said, opening the cabinet below. You had a pot inside to catch any stray water. He turned the faucet on and after less than a minute, water was gushing out from the pipe leading down to the disposal. He shut it off. 
“Good news is, it ain’t the disposal itself,” he said, putting his tools down beside the cabinet. “Looks like they just replaced it and did a shit job setting it up…” 
He got down on the ground, lying down so his upper body was in the cabinet just as you came and perched on the counter nearby, watching him closely. 
“Let me know what I can do to help,” you said. “I feel bad, you coming over, bringing me food, fixing my shit…” 
“Don’t,” he said, frowning up at the plumbing. “Got me outta my house… can you hand me the wrench that’s in the lower part of the tool kit, the adjustable one?” 
He heard you slide off the counter to the floor and rifle through his tools before handing him the wrench, your fingertips brushing his when you did. His heart sped up. Fuck this was stupid. 
You settled in on the floor near him, near enough that he’d feel your leg brush his when he adjusted while he worked. You asked him about his favorite band and he asked you about yours. About favorite foods. About the one place on Earth you’d go if money and time were no object. 
“Alright, think I’ve got it,” he said. “Do me a favor, turn the water on…” 
“You sure?” You asked, a frown in your voice. “Don’t you want to sit up first?” 
“I’m confident,” he smiled a little. 
“Alright, turning it on now.” 
And his confidence was correct. 
For a minute. 
And then it was like the floodgates opened and Joel was suddenly soaked. 
“Cut it!” 
You scrambled to obey as he got out from under the sink, dripping wet, shirt soaked. 
“Shit,” he looked down at himself. 
“I am so sorry!” Your hands were over your mouth, eyes wide. “One minute, let me grab you a towel…” 
You ran down the hall and came back with a small pile of towels handing them to him one by one. He started with himself and then put towels down below the sink. 
“I’m so sorry, Joel,” your eyes were so wide and earnest. 
“Not your fault,” he said, getting up, feeling like more than a bit of an idiot. “Your maintenance people just fucked something up big time…” 
“I have a washer and dryer,” you said quickly. “Let me wash that for you…” 
“Thanks,” he said and he peeled off the wet shirt and handed it to you. “Appreciate it…” 
He was so busy trying not to look at you that he hadn’t realized that you were staring at him, looking up him slowly, your lower lip in your teeth. Like you were interested in him, too. Like you were trying to keep your hands to yourself, too. 
Your eyes met his. This was stupid, this was very very stupid. You were standing close to him, so fucking close to him. 
“Joel,” you breathed. 
He was kissing you before he could talk himself out of it. 
*** 
You weren’t sure if he kissed you or you kissed him but you didn’t really care because fuck, he was touching you. Your arms went around his neck and his hands went to your hips, pulling your body flush against his as he all but devoured you. 
Like he’d done nothing but think of this since the night before, too. 
You were up for an hour after you got home, cursing your best friend for having such a hot dad and trying to not think about what would have happened if you’d dragged him into your apartment when he dropped you off as you ran your vibrator over your needy clit. 
Because how could you face Sarah if you’d fucked yourself to the thought of her dad? 
But you weren’t worrying about that now. 
Instead, you were leading Joel blindly through your apartment, to your bedroom. Your fingers tangled in his hair - wet from the explosive leak in your sink - as you kissed him. You pulled him against you as you sat back on your bed, crawling back toward the middle of it and tugging him along with you so he was hovering over you. 
“You sure…” he began but you nodded so fast that he didn’t even finish asking, just smiling for a second before kissing you again. 
His tongue was insistent inside your mouth, like he was trying to reach every part of you, but you liked it. The hot, aching need gathering in you liked it, liked that he was demanding and hungry for you to the point that, when his tongue slid back behind his own teeth it’s because he wanted to bite your lip with a growl. 
You squirmed out of the soft wrap that was covering your arms and he pulled at your tank top, peeling it away from you and leaving you in just your lacy bralette you liked to wear before you really got dressed for the day. His hand cupped your breast, palm brushing your firm nipple, and you moaned. Joel slipped his hand into the lace and touched the bare skin below and you involuntarily thrust your hips up toward him. He smiled against your mouth at that. 
“So eager,” he said, teasing. 
“We both have way too much on,” you panted against him. 
“Let me help you with that,” he slid his fingers below the band of the bralette and tugged it up and over your head, leaving you naked from the waist up. “Jesus Christ…” 
“What?” You asked, breathless. 
“And I thought you were gorgeous before,” his eyes went over you slowly, tracing the edges of you. “Fucking hell…” 
You smiled and arched into kissing him again, fumbling with the button and zipper on his jeans as you did. When you got his pants open, you slipped your hand inside his underwear, finding his thick, hard cock and stroking him. It was gentle at first, getting a feel for him and fuck he was hard as steel below your touch. He was also easily the biggest cock you’d ever held, so thick and long you knew you were going to be feeling him for hours after you were done. 
Not that you minded. You wanted nothing more than to walk around with a reminder of him inside you for a while. 
Joel’s hands ran over you until he reached your pants and underwear. He pulled them off together, pausing just before your panties would be so far down that they would expose your dripping, aching slit. He pulled his lips from you. 
“This really what you want?” He asked quietly, his eyes searching yours. 
“I’ve been wanting this since last night,” you smiled a little at him. 
“Fuck, I was hopin’ you’d say that.” 
He pulled what remained of your clothes off and cast it aside, nudging you down so you were flat on the bed. He ran his finger over your slit, dipping into you just enough to make your entrance try to grip him but not enough that it gave your body something to hold. You moaned. 
“Don’t worry, beautiful,” he pressed his finger against your clit, rubbing in circles, making you moan. “Gonna take real good care of you…” 
He trailed his finger back down and sank it into you as his thumb pressed against your clit, making your body go tight around him. You rocked your hips against him and arched your back and you heard the smile in his voice as your hands flew to your comforter, knotting in the fabric there. 
“There you go,” he said softly, kissing over your jaw to your throat, nipping and sucking you as he went. “Fuck you’re tight, need you to relax and come for me so I can get inside you…” 
He added another finger, hooking them up into you, pressing into your inner walls and making you get tense and tight before you came hard around him, pussy throbbing so hard it almost hurt. 
“You’re gonna feel so goddamn good,” he groaned as he slid his fingers from you. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear and pulled them down with his jeans before he stroked himself, his fingers still slick with you as he did. 
“One sec,” you managed to find your voice and you stretched back to reach into your nightstand and grabbed a box of condoms. You needed to open it and pull one foil packet apart from the rest. “Sorry, haven’t needed one of these in a bit…” 
“Won’t hear me arguin’,” he half smiled at you. Fuck, that fucking dimple. You opened the condom and slid it on his tip, watching his chest heave as you did. You looked up at him through your eyelashes as you took his covered tip in your mouth, wrapping your lips around him and using them to unroll the condom the rest of the way onto his thick, hard length. “Fuck, beautiful, tryin’ to rush me through this?” 
You just sucked him for a moment, his head lodged at the back of your throat as you started to work his shaft with your mouth. His hand flew to your head, fingers twisting in your hair, as you went. He moaned as your tongue pressed against the underside of him before curling around his shaft. His grip on your hair tightened and you picked up the pace, all but choking yourself on his cock, not able to help yourself, until he pulled you back off him sharply, abruptly. 
“Really don’t want things to be over that fast,” he panted, tilting his head back toward the ceiling for a moment. “Fucking hell you’re good at that…” 
You smirked a little and he pushed you back down onto the bed before lining his cock up with your entrance. He paused and you moaned, rocking your hips against him, your whole body feeling like a spring that was coiled a bit too tight. His hands splayed wide over your thighs for a moment before sliding over your stomach, your breasts, back down again. 
“Still want this?” He asked, voice needy. 
“Want you,” you panted, nodding. “Need you, need you inside me…” 
“Good,” he said, his large hands spread on your thighs, holding you open for him, watching where he was entering you as his cock split you open. He moaned, panting for breath. “Fuck, gonna be addicted to you, just fuckin’ know it…” 
You pressed your hips up into him as he filled you totally, collapsing onto you as his hips met yours. He stilled in you, giving you a moment to adjust to the delicious stretch of him inside you. He was big enough that - if you hadn’t been so desperate for him, if he hadn’t already made you come once - you were sure that it would feel like he was breaking you in two. Like this, though, it was all pleasure with a hint of pain, just enough to make you feel so fucking full you thought you might burst with it. 
He started slowly but forcefully, dragging his cock back so only his head was inside you, his pace so slow that you felt his head on every ridge inside you. But he thrust himself back into you hard, like he couldn’t bear not feeling you again immediately, like being without you was almost painful. 
But he increased his pace, thrusting himself deep into you and pulling back before changing again, more rocking his hips down into you than fully thrusting into you. It meant he kept almost constant pressure on your clit, that the head of him was all but permanently against the spot inside that you immediately sought out whenever you used your vibrator. Your back arched into him and your pussy was so tight around him you were certain you couldn’t get any more wanting. 
“Fuck, need to feel you come while I’m inside you,” he managed, sliding his arms below you to press your bare chest against him. “Please, Beautiful, fuck, please come for me…” 
“Joel!” You cried out his name as you came around him and he fucked into you for another moment before you felt him throb inside as he spilled into the condom. 
He collapsed on top of you, panting for breath and you ran your hands over his broad back. After a minute, he kissed you gently and pulled himself from your wrung out body and lying beside you. 
“So,” he was still short of breath. “Got anythin’ around here I can come by and fix tomorrow?” 
You laughed a little, trying not to think of the fact that you’d just fucked your best friend’s dad. Trying not to think of the fact that there was no way this could be a one time thing. 
“Oh, I’m sure I can think of something,” you said. “I’m sure I can think of a lot of things.” 
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oldguardleatherdog · 3 months ago
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[Gift link, no paywall]
Zuck wiļl now explicitly allow vile and dehumanizing hate speech against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people to be posted on Facebook, Instagram, and Threads without adverse consequences for the poster. He has gone so far as to provide Meta employees with detailed examples of speech that will now be allowed on Meta platforms. This article goes into detail as to how these new policies were formulated and rolled out. It's worth a read to understand the calculation and planning that went into this.
This is more than "mere" homophobia and transphobia. Zuck went out of his way to explicitly target us and single us out over other minorities who use these platforms.
It's clear that this is Zuck prepping and staging his platforms for use in actions that The Rapist Administration is setting up to launch against us in the days to come. Our elected officials and our so-called national LGBTQ+ leaders and organizations have put out a statement or two, but I'd hate to be hanging until they actually take action to protect us.
We need to find a way to mount a response to this, and to all the rest of what's coming at us. Good people of good will are gathering and planning, but it's early yet. Take note of these signs, keep watch and stay alert, don't detach, don't look away.
From the article:
"Among its changes, Meta loosened rules so people could post statements saying they hated people of certain races, religions or sexual orientations, including permitting 'allegations of mental illness or abnormality when based on gender or sexual orientation.' The company cited political discourse about transgender rights for the change. 
"The company also removed the transgender and nonbinary 'themes' on its Messenger chat app, which allows users to customize the app’s colors and wallpaper, two employees said.
"That same day at Meta’s offices in Silicon Valley, Texas and New York, facilities managers were instructed to remove tampons from men’s bathrooms, which the company had provided for nonbinary and transgender employees who use the men’s room and who may have required sanitary pads, two employees said.
"In the @Pride employee resource group, where workers who support L.G.B.T.Q. issues convene, at least one person announced their resignation as others privately relayed to one another that they planned to look for jobs elsewhere, two people said.
"In a post this week to the @Pride group, Alex Schultz, Meta’s chief marketing officer [and Meta's highest-ranking openly gay executive], defended Mr. Zuckerberg and said topics like transgender issues had become politicized. He said Meta’s policies should not get in the way of allowing societal debate and pointed to Roe v. Wade, the landmark abortion case, as an example of 'courts getting ahead of society' in the 1970s. Mr. Schultz said the courts had 'politicized' the issue instead of allowing it to be debated civically.
"'You find topics become politicized and stay in the political conversation for far longer than they would’ve if society just debated them out,' Mr. Schultz wrote. He said looser restrictions on speech in Meta’s apps would allow for this kind of debate.
"On Friday, Roy Austin, Meta’s vice president of civil rights, announced he was leaving the company. He did not give a reason."
[Emphasis added.]
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irlcats-bracket · 2 years ago
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BRACKET 2 FINALS 1
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SUMMER versus BUMPER
SUMMER
She’s a Siberian, and she’s submitter's emotional support animal she’s such a good baby and they would kill for her! She has a whole host of chronic health issues but she’s handling it like a trooper. Beloved by all friends family and vet staff she deserves the world!!
PROPAGANDA
She’s a Siberian, and she’s submitter's emotional support animal she’s such a good baby and they would kill for her! She has a whole host of chronic health issues but she’s handling it like a trooper. Beloved by all friends family and vet staff she deserves the world!!
PROPAGANDA
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BUMPER
he is owned by connoreatspants famous twitch streamer he once bit austin show who is gay so he is maybe a little homophobic but submitter thinks he got over it as an adult. was found on the side of the highway by will neff. he's gray. they don't know what else they can say about bumper. he used to be really tiny and there's plushies of him
PROPAGANDA
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also @conarcoin's bumper plushie
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here's grownup bumper
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here's bumper with a bowtie
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and here's bumper snuggling with jschlatt's cat jambo :)
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look how small. please ignore mr j schlatt
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chaoticarson16 · 1 month ago
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Austin shows up physically to a meeting this time. Texas said he can go if he doesn't wear the emo stuff (as much as it hurt for him to tell Austin that, and Austin's puppy eyes made it harder) but its because he would hate for Austin to come home crying because the south called him names. So Austin is wearing a red button up flannel top with a UT Austin shirt under, jeans, brown dress shoes and a tan ranchers hat. His brown hair was neat and he wore the cross necklace that Tennessee gave him when he turned 20 years old. Everyone is shocked (Not Tennessee) since Austin has never shown his actual face before, and tjats because Austin hates how much he looks but his dad says he needs to take pride in his looks (Whats with that man and pride?) and love himself.
California: Wait who are you? You aren't San Antonio.
Austin: I surely am not Antone. Guess.
Florida: El Paso?
Austin: Nope. You will know when its him when he speaks nothing but Spanish around strangers.
New York: Dallas?
Austin:Nope. Lack of violence.
California: Wait a minute! Austin? Is that you?
Austin: Hi friends!
California: That's what you really look like? You look a lot more muscular than I thought. *nervous laugh*
Austin: I mean, what did you expect a nerdy looking guy? I have been to war plent of times before and I help pa out on the ranch. I just ended up smarter than most of my siblings.
This is perfect. I love them not recognizing him and expecting a small, puny guy lmao. No more emo Austin😞🤞/j. He definitely help this over Texas head for like a day.
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crackheadwhohashadenough · 2 years ago
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Oh To Not Have You
Pairing: Anthony J Crowley x Male reader (can be read as ftm reader aswell) mentions: strong language, drinking, death, angst, mentions of holy water, swords and mentions of hell fire. And reader is called Raphael once. Please do not read if uncomfortable. Fem aligned don't interact. If there's any warning i left out please let me know -> do not repost, copy or translate my work or post them anywhere. Reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated A/N: This is my first fic that isn't a request and my first good omens request. I apologize in advance if this is too angsty. Also i wanted to credit @fly-flower-fanfics as i got the inspiration to write this from their fic 'I Knew You' go read it, it is quite nice.
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𝖠𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖼𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗎𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌, 𝖨 𝗁𝖾𝗅𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗆 𝖨 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋. 𝖬𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗅𝗒, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍’𝗌 𝖿𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗉𝗉𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒, 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝖼𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝖺𝗇 𝖾𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽𝗇’𝗍 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗅
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Something in the air felt different, it felt like doom was hanging by your shoulder ready to snoop in when it’s time came in.
You sighed and pushed those thoughts aside as you sat on the couch with a Jane Austin novella Aziraphale had lent you to read as he had boasted about it for weeks. Crowley and Aziraphale had decided to meet in St. James Park but you had decided not to go as you felt exhausted from running around all day, yesterday to stop Armageddon.
Crowley and Aziraphale walked over to the vendor “a strawberry lolly and a vanilla with a flake, please” Crowley hands the vendor the money before Aziraphlae asked “how’s the car?”
“Not a scratch on it” was Crowley’s reply as they looked at Aziraphale “how’s the book shop?” aziraphale looks at Crowley “not a smudge” he says slightly suspiciously as he walks to the other side of Crowley “not a book burned, everything back just the way it was” Crowley hands aziraphale his ice-cream before taking her own as aziraphale looks around while asking “you heard from your people yet?” Crowley shakes his head with an almost deep sigh “yours?” he asked aziraphale “nothing”
“Do…you understand-w-what happened yesterday?” Crowley asked as they looked at aziraphale “well, I understand some of it,…but some of it-” aziraphale sighs “well, it’s just bit too…” aziraphale raises his eyebrow only to notice Crowley not looking at him “ineffable” Death interrupts them “oh, that…that’s funny, seeing him here. Th-that’s meant to be bad luck” Crowley wouldn’t like to admit it but he was internally terrified but they didn’t want to think about the what ifs in this moment. In that moment death had disappeared “it’s meant to be bad…” Crowley stammered he turns around to look at aziraphale only to see him gone he turns around again only to see him being dragged away by Uriel and a squad of angels. Crowley was distracted by this whole ordeal but decided to chase after them “stop! Stop them!” some old lady interrupts “what’s wrong, love?” before Crowley can figure out what’s happening the old lady who happens to be hastur who knocks Crowley out “oh, bad luck dear” hastur says mockingly while Crowley groans and faints
Aziraphale was tied to a chair, he tired pulling against the ropes but they were too tight for him to slip his hands out. He hears foot steps behind him and “ah. Aziraphale” he recognizes the voice, it was Gabriel. He patted aziraphale’s shoulder “so glad you could join us” he said with a forced smile and with sickeningly sweet voice “you could’ve just sent a message, I mean, a kidnapping in broad daylight” Aziraphale says making Gabriel shrug “call it what it was: an extraordinary rendition” he chuckles as aziraphale fakes a small smile “now, have we heard from our new associate?” Gabriel asks only for Uriel to reply “he’s on his way” Gabriel smiles “he’s own his way. I think you are going to like this” he walks towards aziraphale who raises his eyebrows “I really do…and I bet you didn’t see this one coming” Gabriel leans forward as he says that, the only reaction aziraphale could muster was a forced smile.
Meanwhile down in hell Crowley was facing his trial for using holy water on another demon “Creatures of Hell, you have heard the evidence against the demon known as Crowley. What’s your verdict?” Beelzebub addresses the demons behind the glass window, there were shouts of ‘guilty’ from them “do you have anything to say before we take our vengeance out on you?” Beelzebub says as Crowley turns around from looking at the glass window “what’s it to be?” he asks as he shrugs “an eternity in the deepest pits of hell?” he continues but hastur interrupts Crowley “no no, we’re going to do something even worse…Letting the punishment fit the crime” in that moment arch angel Michael arrives carrying a jug of holy water, they pour the liquid into the bathtub after hastur refuses to pour it himself as he had seen what it could do…
Aziraphale could sense something was wrong, he could sense someone else’s presences, someone close to him.
{Flashback} Crowley smiled at you “I wish you could come with angel” they said as you smiled at them “I wish I could too, I’m just a little exhausted after yesterday” Crowley couldn’t help but pull you in a hug, she rarely showed her softer side, something that was usually reserved for you “I’m glad you are okay” they whispered before pulling away and kissing you gently… Crowley left to meet aziraphale at the park but the moment he stepped out they could sense something different in the air but the moment he saw aziraphale who had a look of worry on his face, they knew that indeed something was wrong. Aziraphale went on to explain what he had found out before putting out the idea of them switching bodies and here they were now {Flashback ends}
The presences was too familiar for aziraphale (Crowley) to ignore as soon as he realized he felt panicked but he needed to not show any emotions “you don’t get this view down in the basement” he hears someone’s voice, before recognizing them as a demon, the demon walked further. Aziraphale (Crowley) looked at the demon before his eyes landed on…You. You who was being dragged by two lower grade demons. Your eyes widened a little as you see aziraphale their but his presences was different, it wasn’t aziraphale’s presences but it was still a lot familiar for you to ignore. Then the realization hit you, it was Crowley, they both switched bodies, the eye contact you held with aziraphale (Crowley) was cut short as the demon ignites…Hell fire “What are you trying to do Gabriel?!” You looked at the archangel Gabriel “well, with one act of treason you averted the war” aziraphale (Crowley) looks at you to see you looking at Gabriel before you say “well, I think the greater good…” Gabriel cuts you off “don’t talk to me about the greater god sunshine. I’m the archangel fucking Gabriel” you were a little shocked to see no one other than Gabriel cursing “the greater good was we were finally going to settle things with the opposition once and for all” Uriel walks over to you and unties your tied hands, aziraphale (Crowley) wanted to shout for them to not hurt you but hurt them instead, he saw how your wings unfolded, they took a deep breath as it clicked what might happen, you look confused at Gabriel before you shook your head as the realization hit of what was at hand “you can’t-you can’t do that Gabriel…taking an angels wings is shaming them” Gabriel smiles “well that would do you good seeing how you have relations with demon Crowley” aziraphale(Crowley) looked at you as you licked your lips, you felt like you were a little child who begged to not be punished for stealing some sweets “ba-banish me…banish me from heaven for all I care Gabriel, but not my wings, I’m not going to let you shame me like that, no-not in front of all of them!” you could feel tears prickle your eyes making you blink them away, you didn’t like crying or showing vulnerable emotions, something you always encouraged Crowley to show, well it wouldn’t be wrong to call you a hypocrite.
You could feel aziraphale’s (Crowley’s) eyes on you but you didn’t want to look up but you couldn’t stop yourself as you heard his shout “take my wings Gabriel! Take them but leave them alone” Aziraphale (Crowley) was trying hard not to show who he truly was, crowley knew the only thing you truly cared for about yourself were your wings it took a long time for you to let them touch your wings, he knew you couldn’t live with the pain and the shame, deep down Crowley always felt like you dated him cause you pitied her but that was far from the truth and you had always made sure they knew that even if you both ever had fights or arguments.
{Flashback} As you walked out of the bedroom with a book in your hand and a cup of tea you had noticed the change of atmosphere in the apartment, you sensed Crowley’s restlessness. You looked at him, concern etched across your face “Crowley, what’s gotten into you?” crowley shot you a playful grin, mischief glittering in his eyes like malevolent stars “You know, I've been feeling a bit nostalgic lately. Thought I might pay a little visit to our friends down below. Stir things up a bit, you know?" You set your book and cup of tea down on the counter, the unease in your gut growing stronger “crowley, you can’t be serious. You are not thinking of causing trouble in hell, are you?” She waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, nothing too major. Just a little chaos, a few practical jokes. Keeps the place lively, you know?" You stood up, your voice taking on a more serious tone. "Crowley, this isn't a good idea. Hell isn't exactly on the best terms with you right now." Crowley's grin faltered slightly, but they quickly recovered. "Oh, come on, angel. They'll get over it. Besides, it's all in good fun." You approached him, your expression stern. "It's not just about them 'getting over it.' You remember what happened last time. It turned into a mess." Crowley's eyes narrowed, and their tone taking on a defensive note. "Are you doubting my ability to handle my own kind?”
"It's not about your ability, Crowley," you replied firmly. "It's about the potential consequences. You might enjoy pushing boundaries, but this time it could lead to something worse." Crowley turned away, their frustration visible. "You're being overly cautious."
"I'm being realistic," you countered, your voice unwavering as you stepped closer. "I know you're powerful, Crowley. But sometimes power alone isn't enough to fix things." Crowley's shoulders slumped a little, and her gaze softened. "You're right. I just... I get caught up in the thrill sometimes." You reached out and placed a hand on her arm. "I understand that, Crowley. But we have to face the reality of the situation. Times have changed." They sighed against your touch, their arms wrapping around you. "I can't help but be a bit of a troublemaker." You pulled them into an embrace, letting your warmth and affection envelop them. "I wouldn't have you any other way. Just promise me you'll think twice before you jump into something like this." He looked down at you, his eyes softening as they met yours. "You really do care about me, don't you?" you couldn’t help but smile softly "Of course I do," you whispered, your fingers tracing soothing patterns on her back. "I love you, Crowley, even when you're being mischievous." She leaned into the embrace, her forehead resting against yours. "I love you too, more than anything." {Flashback ends}
Gabriel smiles sarcastically “oh but aziraphale you see, we have something for you too…you aren’t going unscathed sunshine” you looked at aziraphale (Crowley) fear striking you deep, aziraphale (Crowley) tries to reason with Gabriel “I don’t suppose I can persuade you to reconsider?” Gabriel looks at aziraphale (Crowley) seriously “I’m sorry but the decision is already made” Gabriel’s voice dripped with malice “we’re supposed to be the good guys, for heaven’s sake.” Uriel hands Gabriel the sword “well, for heaven’s sake, we are meant to make examples out of traitors. Hence…no wings” with that the two lower grade demons grabbed your wings as Gabriel wasted no time slicing through them at the base, you were hit with excruciating pain but you didn’t want to scream, you didn’t want to give Gabriel the satisfaction of your pain. After that moment everything was dark, you didn’t notice what was happening until you felt your body thump onto the ground making you groan and try to pick yourself up somehow. Your whole body ached from the pain of falling from heaven, if Crowley was here he would’ve laughed at that but you soon felt like a knife was being drilled into your heart as you thought of Crowley and what he would think of you now, you were fine with the part of being a fallen angel but your wings something you treasured was taken away from you. You looked at your hands, you scoffed noticing how the tips were blackened with your nails turned into claws…
-
Weeks had passed since the events, Crowley sat by the door of his apartment holding one of your sweaters he had gotten you years back. Their heart ached from the pain, the pain of having lost the one good thing they had ever had. Your pained expression kept doing rounds in Crowley’s mind with Gabriel’s words running around in her mind ‘well that would do you good seeing how you have relations with the demon Crowley’ they kept thinking it was their fault that you weren’t here in his arms, telling him that it would be okay.
Memories after memories played in Crowley’s mind as he took a swig from the bottle of talisker scotch, before groaning as his eyes wondered over to the kitchen…
{Flashback} As you strolled into the kitchen of your apartment, Crowley followed along behind you like a lost puppy. The morning had been cozy and warm– breakfast in bed, courtesy of Crowley's culinary expertise (if you could call reheating frozen waffles expertise, that is). You cherished these small, tender moments between you two. But now, duty called, and it was your turn to tackle the aftermath of the meal–washing the dishes. As you ventured further into the kitchen, Crowley's humour had you laughing at something she'd just said. Amidst your laughter, your foot made unexpected contact with the edge of the open cabinet door, and gravity took over. "Fuc-Crowley!" you exclaimed, the words slipping out as your body lurched forward and your dignity took a tumble. Crowley's eyebrows shot up in concern, but that was quickly overtaken by an incredulous look. "My dear, are you practicing your own version of interpretive dance?" they joked. You managed to regain your balance and stood up, rubbing your slightly bruised ego along with your toe. "I'll have you know that our kitchen cabinet just tried to eat me alive," you said, half-joking, half-serious. Crowley chuckled, but her grin soon morphed into a mockingly serious expression. "Ah, you've just discovered our cabinet's hidden agenda, have you? It's a rebellious cabinet, you see. Always yearning for some fresh air." You raised an eyebrow. "Fresh air? It's a kitchen cabinet, not a tree-hugging hippie." Crowley shrugged, their lips curling into an exaggerated pout. "Well, excuse our cabinet for wanting to explore its more…open-minded side." You couldn't help but burst into laughter at his absurd and dramatized reasoning. "Open-minded? More like open-doored!" Crowley gasped dramatically, placing a hand over his heart. "Are you suggesting our cabinet has some sort of existential crisis, torn between its open and closed states?"
"You started it by leaving it wide open!" you retorted, pointing a playful accusatory finger at her. Crowley's expression turned playful as well, their eyes gleaming mischievously. "Well, if you ask me, it's a clear case of cabinet freedom. Just embrace its rebellious spirit!" You shook your head, still chuckling. "Fine, fine. Next time I'll be sure to consult with the cabinet before attempting to close it." Crowley feigned a sigh of relief. "Finally, cabinet diplomacy at its finest." You both shared a laugh, and with the tension diffused, you turned your attention back to the task at hand – the dishes. But as you began washing, you felt someone’s hand wrapping around your waist “I am sorry for that truly angel” Crowley whispered making you smile and shake your head “now look who is going against our cabinets rebellious spirit” as you said that Crowley laughed knowing you had forgiven them. {Flashback ends}
Crowley had pushed herself to stand up and staggered into the hall with the bottle and sweater in his hand when their eyes drifted to the thermostat in the hallway triggering another memory.
{Flashback} You stepped into your apartment, the memory of a fun lunch with Aziraphale still lingering, a sudden blow of cold air slapped you like an unexpected icy shower. You involuntarily shivered and called out, "Crowley, dear?" There was a pause, and then Crowley's voice floated from somewhere within the apartment, dripping with feigned innocence. "Yes, my sweetheart?" You continued walking further into the living space, brows furrowed as your breath visibly puffed out in the chilly air. "Why is it so cold in here?" you asked, your voice laden with bewilderment. "Oh, is it now?" Crowley replied, an exaggerated gasp in their tone. "Must be the work of that mischievous fairy again." You rolled your eyes, not buying into the act. "Crowley, stop messing around. Did you mess with the thermostat again?" A dramatic sigh emerged from the direction of the thermostat, as if it held all the world's woes. "Darling, I must confess, the thermostat and I have become quite the friends lately. It's nothing personal, really. We just found a common interest in creating an arctic ambiance." You crossed your arms, exasperated. "This isn't funny, Crowley. It's freezing in here!" 
"Oh, come on, angel," Crowley cajoled, her voice dripping with amusement. "Think of it as an opportunity to embrace your inner polar explorer." Your patience was wearing thin. “I don't want to embrace any polar explorer tendencies. I just want a comfortable temperature in my own home!" Crowley's voice took on a faux-hurt tone. "But, my dear, I thought you loved a little chill in the air. You know, sets the stage for warm cozy cuddles and all that." You tried hard not to smile "Cozy cuddles are great, but not when I can see my breath indoors!" you retorted, your tone a mixture of exasperation and amusement now. There was a pause, and then Crowley's voice softened slightly. "Alright, alright, I may have turned the thermostat down a bit." You huffed, torn between annoyance and amusement. "Why would you do that?"
"Oh, just to keep things interesting," Crowley replied with a nonchalant shrug that you could practically hear through their words. "Besides, it's quite amusing watching you walk around like a penguin in our own home." You sighed, giving in to a chuckle despite yourself. "You're impossible, you know that?"
"But you love me for it," Crowley purred, their tone filled with smugness. You shook your head, unable to suppress a smile. "Yes, I suppose I do." The two of you exchanged playful banter for a moment longer before reaching a silent agreement. The thermostat was soon adjusted to a more reasonable temperature, and as the warmth returned to the apartment as you moved to hug Crowley to steal their warmth “you owe me cuddles now” Crowley couldn’t help but smile and kiss your forehead… {Flashback ends}
Crowley felt like he was about to lose it, lose herself. Memories flooded in, each triggered like a cosmic punchline in some never-ending joke. Your laughter, so full of joy, echoed through every room, every hall they entered. With each step, she couldn't help but wonder: What was the point of all this? Why was she being bombarded with memories if you were already taken away from them? It was as if the universe was toying with them, pushing their limits.
Crowley's mind, always curious, couldn't help but question the unfairness of it all. The way things worked above and below seemed twisted. Disagree, and you're cast out. Ask a simple question, and you're condemned. Protect what matters, and you're met with scorn from all sides. The more she thought about it, the more he realized the irony of heaven and hell. They were supposed to stand for righteousness and damnation, but they felt more like an illusion. The very fight between them seemed pointless now, as if both were in the wrong. A scoff escaped Crowley's lips. Heaven and hell, once archenemies, now looked like different sides of the same coin.
What made all worst was the fact both hell and heaven had taken the last thing they cherished. It felt like there was no point in staying and enduring the searing ache every time thoughts of you surfaced. Nothing mattered anymore, everything was cast in shades of grey. Colourless, like it used to be before you, before you entered Aziraphale's bookshop on that rainy day. The day when Crowley's existence gained vibrancy, even in her endless life. Crowley couldn’t help but let out a wry chuckle at the memory when they came face to face with the locker, the locker that held the answer to their emptiness without you. . This was the key to filling the void left by your absence, the answer might be the path to finding you again, even if it meant tolerating a bit of pain. Compared to what you had gone through, it was a small price, Crowley thought. With slightly unsteady hands, he unlocked the locker, revealing a thermos filled with holy water. The solution was within reach—a step away. Seeing the thermos, an idea forms in Crowley’s mind: to end it all. A way to reunite with you, to hold you once more in her embrace. What reason was there to linger in a world that had lost its lustre?
Crowley willed herself to grab the thermos before sliding down the wall, the bottle of talisker scotch sat beside them as they held your sweater close their chest with the thermos of holy water in the other hand, he couldn’t help but laugh “the time has finally come, huh?” he unscrews the top of the thermos seeing the liquid in it shimmered, the soft glow of the room reflecting off its surface. It was a symbol of purity, of divinity, of everything that was meant to be beyond their grasp. A bitter smile tugged at Crowley's lips as she contemplated the ultimate paradox: an immortal demon tempted to consume the very essence that would destroy him.
Crowley took a deep breath before lifting the thermos up to their mouth, memories continued to surge within him, memories of laughter, shared moments, and unspoken promises. Memories of you. But just as their lips grazed the brim of the thermos, a voice broke through the heavy silence. "Crowley."…
{Your pov}𝖶𝖾𝖾𝗄𝗌 𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗉𝗉𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗒, 𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝖽𝖺𝗒 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝗈𝖼𝗈𝗈𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖺𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍, 𝖺 𝗉𝗋𝗂𝗌𝗈𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝗁𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈𝗈 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗆𝗂𝖽𝖺𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗎𝗍𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗅𝖽. 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝖼𝖼𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖺𝗅 𝖾𝗇𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖢𝗋𝗈𝗐𝗅𝖾𝗒 𝗈𝗋 𝖠𝗓𝗂𝗋𝖺𝗉𝗁𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗒 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗌𝗉𝗂𝗇𝖾. 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗎𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗆𝖾𝖽: 𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗃𝗎𝖽𝗀𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖻𝖾? 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝖾𝗏𝗈𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝖽𝗂𝗌𝗀𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗍𝗐𝗂𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝖽. 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗅𝖽 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝖺𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗈𝗇 𝖺 𝖼𝗋𝗂𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖺𝗅 𝗀𝖺𝗓𝖾, 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗌𝗂𝖿𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗂𝗌𝗈𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇, 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗂𝗆𝗆𝗈𝖻𝗂𝗅𝗂𝗓𝖾𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝖽, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝖾𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖾𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗂𝗇 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝖼𝖾. 𝖣𝖾𝗌𝗉𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝗎𝗋𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗄 𝗌𝗈𝗅𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝖢𝗋𝗈𝗐𝗅𝖾𝗒'𝗌 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾, 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗈𝖿 𝖾𝗇𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝗂𝗆 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝗌𝖾𝗇𝗌𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗋𝖾𝗉𝗎𝗅𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈𝗐𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝖺𝗅𝗒𝗓𝖾𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎. 𝖨𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗂𝖽𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅𝗇𝖾𝗌𝗌, 𝖺 𝖿𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗍 𝗂𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝗏𝗈𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗌𝗉𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽, 𝗎𝗋𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗄 𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝖾𝖾𝗄 𝗌𝗈𝗅𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝖢𝗋𝗈𝗐𝗅𝖾𝗒'𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗆𝗌. 𝖨𝗍 𝗍𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗌𝖾 𝖾𝖿𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝖾𝖺𝗋, 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗁𝗈𝗐, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖺𝗀𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗈𝖺𝗑 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇. {Your pov ends}
Crowley almost wanted to laugh, to laugh at the insanity. Their minds was playing games on them like they thought it was playing when he first saw you in the bookshop. ‘When we first met, something about you felt distant, like a dream I couldn't grasp. Something about you felt made up like you were a fragment of my imagination’ Crowley thought as they closed their eyes hearing your voice again, they wanted to scream and laugh from how delusional he was getting ‘but you breathed life into me, made me feel like I wasn’t lost something I hadn’t felt ever since I fell from heaven and even then it felt like God was playing one of her sinister jokes on me.’ but something snapped when she heard footsteps, when she sensed your presence. Crowley opened his eyes to see you standing there he couldn’t help but actually laugh as he thought ‘God is enjoying this little game’ but as you stepped forward they moved back not knowing how you could be alive despite all logic ‘You literally fell from heaven without wings!’. Crowley shook her head and moved to take the drink of the holy water, not wanting to indulge in Gods little games. They took a sip waiting for the searing pain, to feel their insides burn only for nothing to happen to see you rushing forward, they grabbed the bottle of scotch throwing it at you hoping it would pass through you as he thought you were a mere hallucination but you dodged just in time before rushing over to him “Crowley” you took the thermos from them “y-yo-you did-didn’t” you looked into the thermos before looking at a drunk beyond belief Crowley.
Your eyes, so familiar and kind but they held a mixture of concern and compassion as they met his. As you reached out, your fingers brushed against Crowley's cheek, a jolt of realness coursed through him. The touch was so vivid, so touchable, that it erased any lingering doubts. Crowley's eyes searched yours, searched for the truth they longed to find. "wh-why did you do this?" you asked, your voice soft yet urgent, as if trying to bridge the gap between past and present. Crowley felt a rush of emotions welling up within herself, a mixture of relief, confusion, and a lingering sense of vulnerability. They smiled, a smile that held the weight of years of pain and longing. "I didn't know if you were real" Crowley admitted, their voice carrying the raw honesty of someone who had been pushed to their limits. "The last few weeks I've spent drowning in doubts, in memories that felt like they were slipping through my fingers." his grip on your sweater tightened, as if to ground themselves in the reality. Crowley's gaze dropped, her fingers tracing patterns on the fabric of your sweater. "I thought I was losing my mind, that I was trapped in some sort of twisted dream. And I... I couldn't bear the thought of being alone, of never seeing you again." The vulnerability in their words was visible, a confession of the depths to which he had sunk in his desperation to hold you again.
You were left speechless, Crowley never showed such raw emotions. Yes, they shared what they were feeling but never did he cry in front of you. Crowley had looked up at you again, their eyes glistened with tears as they stained his cheeks “but I’m here now” you whispered trying your best not cry, you had to hold yourself strong so you could reassure crowley that you were indeed real. Crowley’s voice trembled “yes, you are here now, and I... I don't know how to process it. I want to believe, more than anything, but I'm so scared that this is just another cruel trick up God’s sleeve” In that moment, Crowley felt like a wounded soul, caught between the promise of a second chance and the fear of having their heart shattered all over again.
As Crowley's emotions swirled like a hurricane of uncertainty, you looked at her with such tenderness, your voice carried the weight of the connection between the two of you as you whispered “Crowley, look at me. Feel the warmth of my touch. Can you doubt the reality of this moment, when every fibre of your being responds to my presence? Me being here isn’t a twisted trick or a cruel joke. I’m here, with you, by you” Your thumbs brushed away the tears on Crowley’s cheeks. “I’m not a mirage, nor a shadow of the past. I'm right here, by your side.” You reassured them again “Every moment we've shared, every laughter and tear, they're all real, Crowley” Crowley's vulnerability melted in the warmth of your words, their eyes fixed on yours as if seeking solace in the depths of your existence.
As Crowley gradually sobered up, an unspoken question hung in the air, creating a noticeable tension. However, you refrained from addressing it, fearing that he might notice the missing fragment within you. You didn't want him to realize that you were missing a piece of yourself. Amidst their sniffles and a sore throat from weeks of silence, their own voice was shaky yet determined “Angel,” she began “if you were here all along, why…why didn’t you come here sooner?” you looked away from Crowley, a complex web of emotions swirling within you. Confronting the truth of your own feelings seemed daunting, almost unbearable “Raphael… please, tell me.” The name hit you like a ton of bricks. Crowley had never addressed you by that name before, except once, a millennia ago. It carried a weight of history and intimacy that was rare between you two, he usually called you angel or some other term of endearment. “That's not... not my name anymore” you admitted, your voice heavy with the weight of your confession. “I'm... I'm a fallen angel, Crowley. A wingless, fallen angel.”
A mixture of empathy and disbelief crossed Crowley's features. She could sense the self-disgust that had seeped into your words. “I'm a fallen angel too” she softly replied. “Yet, you don't hate me. So, why harbour this hatred for yourself?” Their fingers gently tilted your chin, coaxing you to meet their gaze. However, you turned your eyes away, the intensity of your self-loathing making it impossible to hold his gaze. You started to speak, but your voice quivered, causing you to pause. With a determined shake of your head, you silenced yourself, the words caught in your throat. "You—," you began to say, only to halt as your voice wavered once more. Collecting your thoughts, you continued, "You are just a fallen angel, Crowley. But I… I don't have my wings. I lack possibly the only thing I ever liked about my—myself." You sighed as your voice cracked before continuing “I thought you’d hate me…you’d hate the fact I am broken now. After all an angel without their wings is a laughing stock” The vulnerability in your words struck Crowley deeply. She found it hard to reconcile the image of you, the being she had cherished and admired, with the anguish you were currently wrestling with. Her heart ached, realizing the extent of your inner turmoil, her own feelings welled up inside her.
As Crowley gazed upon you, their eyes softened with a warmth that could melt away the heaviest burdens. A gentle smile tugged at the corners of their lips, a mixture of affection and understanding radiating from their very being. With a gentle touch he cupped your cheek, guiding your gaze back to meet his “listen to me, my dear” Crowley's voice held a soothing rhythm, like a lullaby meant to comfort troubled souls. Something that was so rare for their voice, for Crowley herself “I've seen you through eons, through highs and lows, through darkness and light. Wings or no wings, that doesn't define who you are, what makes you, well, you, goes beyond physical forms and celestial titles.” Crowley could still see the doubt in your eyes as he smiled before he continued “Your kindness, your strength, and your very essence – that's what drew me to you in the first place.” Her thumb brushed away a stray tear that had escaped your eye like you had done for her. Their gentle smile seemed to radiate a kind of tenderness that only they could offer “And believe me, my love, if there's one thing I've come to understand, it's that love transcends all. I've loved you for who you are, for your heart, your spirit, your essence. The wings were just a beautiful accessory to the magnificent soul that you are. So, don't you see? You are cherished, and you are loved – wingless, fallen, or whatever you might be. And as long as I'm here, you'll never face this journey alone. We'll rebuild together, in our own way, with love as our guide.”
In that moment, amidst the fragility of your emotions and the weight of your confessions, a connection tightened between you and Crowley. It was a connection built upon shared struggles, a reminder that even in the darkest moments, you were not alone. And as you both sat there on the floor of Crowley’s well your shared apartment, grappling with your insecurities, a glimmer of understanding sparked, promising the possibility of healing and acceptance.
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i hope you all enjoy this, and i hope you all have a good day/night
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lanadelray-gurl · 1 year ago
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''My heart is, and always will be, yours''
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Singer!Austin butler x Bandmate!fem!reader
Warning: Angst,fighting,cussing,hidden love,fluff,soft smut,p n v,fingering,biting,crying,falling in love(really a friends/enemies to lovers kind of thing)
Summary: you and Austin had started a band with a few other friends back in high school.You played bass and he play guitar,you both sang together. But what happens after you start to fall in love with him but his new found fame has gotten to his head?
You had always been interested in music,you grew up with it. Your mom played the piano and your father played the bass which he would go on to pass down to you,you didn’t have a club for music in your high school so you decided to make a post on your facebook(gosh you feel old looking back on this) you made a small post to your 20 friends on Facebook. It read;’Do you like music? Do you like making music? Can you play an instrument but simply can’t find anywhere to play? Well please send me a message if you’re interested in a music club after school at my house!’ You sounded desperate,,which was the case. See you always wanted to start a band,your dad did when he was your age and you decided fuck it why not! That’s when you met him. Him being Austin,at first you thought he was cute,he had nicely styled dirty blond hair,pretty blue eyes and he was tall. And did I mention he could sing AND play guitar. Yeah..he was perfect.
When you first talked or Austin he had messaged you on Facebook,you didn’t even know he went to your school! You barely paid attention to your surroundings in school,either writing stupid songs or drawing little things in your notebook. He told you he was very interested in your ‘club’ and even sent a video of him playing the acoustic guitar and singing an Elvis song! It was a bit old school but you sighed it,he told you he could pretty much play any song you wanted him to. He also added that he had a few friends who also went to your school who’d be interested. One being named Adam;he was your age and played drums. Then you had Johnny; he was a few years older and played rhythm guitar. It was perfect what could go wrong!
Apparently everything could go wrong—
Well not necessarily for the whole group,it seemed to just be you. It’s been a few years now,you and Austin had been posting your music (which was mostly covers of really popular songs) to any platform out there! And it gained a lot of traction,you both really enjoyed it,as time passed you guys went a recording studio,produced your own music,posted it and the next week you were approved by a big record label. You all of course said yes,you could see the vision,your name in lights. Well your bands name;Ecstasy (can you tell I got lazy) Your bands music was mostly sensual and meaningful. That’s how you saw it,but it started to look like all of the bands hard work was just a money grab for the rest of your band.
As the years went on you and Austin grew close,you were completely smitten by him. You tried to make all of his ideas for songs come true..even if they sucked. But he didn’t see you like that,you wrote the songs,play the bass and they get money. Which hurt you once you realized. As things progressed you noticed how at every show and on every tour he was with a girl or at least flirting with the girls in the crowd. If hurt you but you couldn’t say it,you had even thought about leaving the band or even going solo but you didn’t want to be selfish. You stayed quiet,Adam and Johnny took notice to your change in personality. Your once bubbly and excited personality had turned kind of dark and closed off,no one could tell what was wrong because you just kept to yourself if you weren’t making music. Sometimes you’d be pretty happy during rehearsals or before recording but somehow Austin brought your mood down.
He’d constantly bring a girl or two to everything the band went to. Didn’t matter if it was private or if it was just a casual hang out. It was to say the least embarrassing and you let it go on for years now. Why couldn’t you stick up for yourself?! God..it was pathetic. You just ignored it at this point,you were emotionally numbed at least that’s what you thought until your most recent show.
Your band was preparing for a show,you kept quiet the whole time. Austin noticed this,even thought it’s been going on for so long he finally noticed your change in personality. He grabbed your shoulder gently,you were grabbing your bass from its case you looked back at him and gently shrugged him off of your shoulder.
“Hey man what’s going on with you..?” He spoke with a bit of force. You looked back at him,you were wearing an amazing outfit,you were wearing a tight black dress with fishnets and combat boots and he took notice..when did you become so pretty? You had beautiful makeup but he could see your eye bags and just how tired you looked. You spoke,your once soft and sweet voice was now slightly rough and scratchy “nothing..just let’s get ready..” you walked towards the stage everything was ready for the show to start,Austin followed close behind you. Tonight was gonna be stressful..
You were nearing the end of the show,you played your heart out,so did the whole band. It was time for your biggest song. This is where you and Austin got really close and just made it seem like everything was sweet and beautiful but it was farm from it. As the song played you felt tears stinging your eyes.(listen to the song above now!!)
“Without shame..”
His voice was smooth and beautiful god why were you so in love with him? It hurt your very soul.
“Two outfits then to my name..”
It was almost time for you to join in,you didn’t know if you could do it. This song was about love but you knew he didn’t love you..and that was so painful.
“You’d end up in one when you’d stay..”
You felt your heart start to race,you walked towards the microphone,standing right next to him. His hands stringing the guitar skillfully. That both turned you on and made you sick. You wanted those hands around you but every other girl got what you wanted.
“We had no where to go..and every desire for going there..”
You began to sing with him,he glanced at you. Your voice was beautiful to him,and once the fans heard you sing they went crazy they loved your voice and something inside him suddenly felt connected to you. His heart began to race.
“I heard once..it’s the comforts that makes us feel numb” You both continued to sing together for the next few moments,your voice made him shiver and his made you wince from the pain from the heart break. “We’d go out with no way to get home..and we’d sleep on somebody’s floor..wake up feeling like a millionaire..” you both continued to sing your heart out,you both looked up and stared into each others eyes. You felt emotions take over you. Austin and the rest of the band could tell you were bubbling with emotion. About to burst whenever you were tipped over the edge and the intensity of the eye contact was what tipped you over. “Wish I’d known it was just our turn..(we just got by)..Being blamed for a world we had no power in..(but we tried)..” Johnny and Adam joined in for a few parts now,giving the song an angelic sound,but your voice seemed to over power them.
“You and I had nothing to show..(we didn’t know)..But the best of the world in the palm of our hands..(anything,darling)” You felt the tears fall down your cheeks,you were now staring to the floor trying not to let your emotions get the best do you,Austin noticed this. He felt a stinging in his heart why did he suddenly care so much..? “And,darling, I haven’t felt it since then..I don’t how the feeling ended..” Your voices cracked slightly,the crowd roared happily but your band knew it was a sign of you losing yourself to you emotions,Austin almost lost his breath. You had raw talent and hearing you putting your real emotions into this certain song made his chest almost cave.
“But I know being reckless and young..Is not how the damage gets done..” You continued to cry as you sang,it was heartbreaking to watch but the fans didn’t care they just wanted to hear you sing with Austin. But now that he kept thinking about you and your new persona he felt a connection of heartbreak with you but why? He maybe thought it was just heartbreaking to see you cry because he was perfectly fine..or at least that’s what he thought. “One time we would want for nothing..(one time we had it all,love).. We knew what our love was worth (when we had nothing)..” you looked up to the sky for a few seconds,your eyes locked with Austin’s once more. He was caught off guard for a moment,you noticed this and felt a since of pride but this.
“..Now we're always missing something (I miss when).. I miss when we did not need much..” Austin backed away from the microphone,he continued to play the guitar. You grabbed the microphone and stared to sing your solo part,you took a deep breath and closed your eyes tight as you put your heart into this part.
“Oh,if the car ran,the car was enough..If the sun shone on us,it’s a plus..and the tank was always filled up! Only enough for our getting there..” Tears streamed down your face as you kept your eyes closed tightly. You opened your eyes finally and looked around and watched as Austin came back to the microphone to end the song and then the show.
Finally once you finished that song you all waved to the fans and you rushed off stage,wiping your tears and sobbing as you put your bass back in its case. You wiped off your messed up makeup,Austin noticed this as he walked past you to get ready to leave on the bus back to the hotel you were all staying. You were all on the bus now,you sat far away from everyone,in the very front you were on your phone mindlessly scrolling socials. You felt eyes on you and you knew it was Austin,that made your heart squeeze itself.
Once you all arrived at the hotel all of you got onto the elevator,Austin was oddly close standing so close your shoulders pressed together. Once the elevator dinged you all went separate ways to your rooms..or at least that’s what you thought. You heard footsteps behind you,you walked towards your room and once you reached for the door you quickly turned around and saw Austin. “Hey..” he spoke breathlessly. You looked annoyed but mostly emotional he couldn’t read your expression. “Can I come in?..” you looked shocked by this,you quickly shook your head and tried to rush into your room “no Austin— No not just no,just fuck no—“ you scoffed and walked into your room and tried to slam the door but he stopped it and barged into your room. You turned to him and had tears streaming down your already redden and wet cheeks. “We’re talking..I don’t care how you feel (Y/N)..” he spoke with a bit of anger. Your eyes widened before you gave your speech,well that’s how would Austin described it.
“No! You don’t get to fucking decide when we talk..you don’t get to tell me how to feel! Now after what you did to me! Did you not see it?! Did you not see how I looked at you and hear how I spoke?! The way I made everything happen just for you?! I even put your shitty song lyrics in our song!” You screamed and continued to let the tears flow,using your hands to speak and put more emotions into it.
“Are you kidding me?! I’m trying to figure out why you’re so emotional and weird all of a sudden! I’m being nice to you! We’ve been friends for years and im showing I care. What are you going on ab—!” You scoffed and threw your hands up in the air before turning away just to look back at him and pointing a finger into his chest.
“I. Loved. You..ever since I met you I loved you. My heart was set on you and your stupid blue eyes and your perfect lips and perfect body..a-and and—“ you put your hands up into your hair and gripped onto it “you..you were just you and I fell in love with yo—“ you let your hands fall to your sides but before you could speak he grabbed the sides of your face and kissed you passionately but with a bit of aggression. It caught you off guard but you kissed back,you held onto his wrist gently as you both walked. You were walking backwards and he basically guided you to your room. He picked you up by the back of your thighs,her laid you down on the bed and continued to passionate kiss.
He pulled away from the kiss and lifted up your dress,pulling it off your beautiful body. Happy to see you were wearing no bra but a pretty pair of black lace panties,you crossed your arms over your breast and shuddered. You turned away from him and whimpered softly,Austin untied your combat boots and pulled them off your tired feet,he pulled off your socks and kiss up from your calves to your thighs. He pulled off his shirt and kicked off his shoes. He fell to his knees and kissed your inner thigh from the right to the left side,gently biting down on your soft skins. You felt your pussy clinch around nothing as the wetness from you core drenched the cotton.
You moaned gently and covered your mouth,you felt him hook his fingers underneath the band of your panties. He tugged them off,you lifted your hips up and bit your bottom lip a little too hard, you pierced the skin making you flinch. He looked up and smirked up at you knowing he made you crazy,he put your thighs over his shoulders. He started licking up your arousal,it was sweet. The best things he’s ever tasted,he sucked your clit and watched as you squirmed and pressed your hips down onto his face the best you could. He pulled away and rubbed two fingers against your wet core,getting them wet with your slick. With the two wet digits he fingered your drenched and aching pussy slowly,pumping his fingers gently while curling them up to hit that spongey spot that made you arch your back.
He went back to licking and sucking your clit,he took you for granted and he was gonna make up for it. Your beautiful body and your sweet pussy was everything he was missing,all the girls meant nothing to him anymore. He realized he needed you,only you that all he could think of now. You started to feel a coil in your stomach tangle and begin to unwind and get close to snapping. Knowing you were about to cum you tried to push him away but he wouldn’t let you,he pressed your hips down and licked and sucked faster but still at a gentle pace. His fingers working and stretching you out. You rocked you hips wildly “Austin,Austin fuckfuckfuckfuck!—“ you moaned loudly and finally came into his fingers,he moaned against your clit. You gasped loudly and whimpered,he finally pulled away and pulled his fingers out slowly.
“I’m gonna make you feel so good honey..I’ve neglected you for so long baby..I’m so so sorry..”
He spoke softly,he stood up and took off his belt and unbuttoned and then unzipped his jeans before pulling them down along with his boxers. His cocked bounced up,your eyes widened. You’ve seen the outline of it before,you knew he was blessed but seeing it hard and up close made you shake. It was long and tick,leaking with pre-cum,you did this to him and you couldn’t believe it. You felt years well up in your eyes and he noticed,he gently kissed near your eyes and over your eyelids. “Don’t cry honey..I’m sorry baby I really am..” you finally cried tears of pure joy and laughed as you wrapped your arms around his neck “nonono don’t worry I-I’m just so happy like..I’ve dreamed about this..” you hiccuped as you felt him pick you up and lay on down long ways in the bed with him towering over you.
He sat up while sitting in his knees,he grabbed your calves and put them on other sides of his hips. He pulled you closer,the shaft of his cock laid against your sensitive clit. It made you moan softly,he stared into your eyes as he slowly rubbed your stomach and smiled happily. It was a genuine smile,something you’ve always wanted to see for so long. “I should’ve found out sooner baby..I could’ve made you feel so so so good sooner..” he whispered,he held the shaft of his cock and slowly pressed the tip into your tight cunt. “Oh fuck aus—“ you let your eyes roll back as you felt him press every inch into you,he filled you up so nicely. His eyes were glued onto his cock sliding into you,his mouth hung open.
He had finally bottomed out,he was pressed into you so nicely you felt him grazing over your cervix. This made you cry out,he leaned down holding your little body close to him,you once again wrapped your arms around him and scratched his tan skin,leaving angry red marks. You heard him groan loudly into your ear,her was fully pressed against your cervix now in this position you couldn’t handle this for long. He slowly pulled out making you whimper before he slowly pushed all the way back it. You let out a loud gasp and you let out a choked moan,he raised up slightly and stared down at you and he observed your fucked our face.
“God your pussy is sucking me I-in I could cum right now..fill you up nice and g-good..”
He whispered softly and started to thrust,it was slow but it had a bit of speed and power but not too much. He didn’t want to hurt you not ever or ever again,he knew he hurt you so many times before and he didn’t want to hurt you in such an intimate moment. You hid your face in his shoulder and bit down leaving a dark red and purple mark,he moaned loudly. Now his thrust gained more speed and strength,he thrusted into you like his life depended on it.
He growled softly into your ear,he kissed up your neck,he left dark marks along your soft neck and up your jaw. He groaned loudly now. You knew he was holding back you wanted all of him. “P-please Aus..please fuck me..pleasepleaseplease..I need your cock deep inside of me..” You moaned into his ear and he gladly took your invitation. He thrusted into you wildly and roughly,she growled and grunted loudly and he looked wild. You stared as his face contorted and twisted as he thrusted in and out of your sopping cunt,you cried out and rocked you hips against him as you felt you second orgasm approaching,you clinched and sloppily grind against his thrust you couldn’t take much more.
“Is my baby gonna cum?Hah..—Hm? My pretty girl wanna cum on my cock?Fuck..—Come on a baby be a good girl..let me feel you cum all over my cock..god you’re so fucking right..” He grunted loudly and stared into your tired half lidded eyes. You nodded you head quickly as you felt your climax getting closer. With one last strong thrust you came all over his cock,squeezing down on his cock making him shutter and he gave you one more thrust before feeling up your warm cunt with his hot cum. He groaned and slammed into you. He stared up at the ceiling before dropping his head and staring down at you.
He slowly pulled out,watching as his cum spilled out of you. He smirked and let out a breathless laugh before plopping next to you and pulling you close. He wrapped the blanket over the both of you,as you both cuddled he lazily dragged his hand down your stomach and to your puffy and sore pussy,he gently pressed his fingers into you. Gently pumping into you,trying to keep his cum inside of you. You whimpered softly and snuggled your face into his shoulder.
“I love you..” he whispered down into your ear as he closed his eyes and spoke sleepily,he was getting close to passing out.
“I love you too..I always will.” You spoke softly and closed your eyes. You both finally fell asleep,you slept in until the late afternoon that next day and it was the best sleep of your life.
Hii! I hope you guys enjoy this little one shot,I finished this before my other stories so I’m posting it! More coming soon..
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dinsdjrn · 2 years ago
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gone from austin | j. miller | part three
brothers best friend!pre-outbreak!joel x f!reader
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summary: Joel Miller: the one that got away; right person, wrong time. Now you’re back in Austin and it hurts just as bad, as if you’d never left five years ago
warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, no use of y/n, alcohol consumption, light angst.
a/n: well i've only tried to write this three times, not loving it but anyways posting it to get it out there.
prev part | next part || series masterlist | main masterlist
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Part Three | June 2002
I took my love, I took it down. 
It felt weird to be in your scrubs again, weird but good. You hadn’t accepted any full time work, just a locum position at the children’s hospital in South Austin. They had brought up full time hours and you had politely declined. You wish you could have claimed leave indefinitely, but E.I. doesn’t take ‘ accidentally ruined my personal life’ as a claim sadly. 
Casual work was good though, it meant you could buy your own groceries and help Jake and Kels here and there. It also distracted you from your grief; grief of the lives you could have had that slipped away from you. It had occurred to you that you were most likely at fault for your own misfortune, it's happened twice now that your life has blown up just fantastically. You faced the music and accepted that the common denominator both times was you, and in time you would continue to do what you did best, run. 
You didn’t focus on your own personal anguish for long, there were treatments to be ordered and patients to be seen. It felt good to work your twelve and then go home, satisfied with your work. You had even begun to make friends with some of the other doctors and nurses in the emergency department. They knew you weren’t a permanent fixture, but it still felt good to meet new people and have more of a circle that exceeded your brother and his buddies in Austin.
Toward the end of your shift you were desperately looking forward to a nap. You were used to a bit more of a schedule in day surgery, consulting in emergency was pure and utter chaos. The shifts went by fast and left you feeling the good kind of tired at the end of the day. 
You were just finishing up your shift, typing out the last few notes for your patient's medical records when your cell started buzzing on the desk.
“Hello?” you answered. 
“Hey!” Kelseys voice sounded on the other end of line. 
“Hey, is everything alright? I’m just finishing up at work. I’ll be home in an hour or so, just depends on the bus.” 
“Uh, yeah! I just wanted to see if you had any plans after work.” 
“Uh-“ you thought about a small white lie. Knowing Kels was about to convince you to do something. 
“No, I was just going to go to bed.” You admitted. 
“Okay,  well I’m going to pick you up from work and we are going out tonight,” She said excitedly.
“Kels…” You warned. 
“C’mon! It will be just like old times, I promised Tommy I’d convince you to go. Sarah’s gone to her friend's house for the night and Jake and Tommy wanted to get everyone to Gus’ Pub. Just like old times,” 
You sighed, Gus’ was your favourite back in the ‘90s they always had the best atmosphere. You had made yourselves somewhat regulars in college. 
“Ugh, I was really looking forward to going to bed.” You grumbled.
“That’s not no, so I’ll pick you up in thirty!” She said excitedly, hanging up before you could protest. 
You leaned back in your chair letting your head fall backward as you sighed, groaning toward the end. You loved Jake and Kelsey, you appreciate everything they’ve done for you, but you had a sneaking suspicion Kelsey was doing everything in her power to keep you here. To remind you of the love that you once felt for the city and the people in it.
You stood from the desk in the doctors lounge and made your way to your cubby. You had come to work in jeans and a T-shirt that would be more than fine for Gus’. You changed out of the soiled scrubs throwing them in the laundry bag and tried to fix your post-dayshift hair. 
You placed your beeper in the storage bin and made your way out of the building waiting for Kels to arrive. You liked that you could finish a twelve hour shift and still have daylight pushing the horizon at nearly nine at night. 
By the time you had arrived at the bar Jake and Tommy had clearly started the party without you. Joel was laughing at their shenanigans from the bar stool you’re sure he claimed as soon as they’d arrived. 
“God damn it, Tommy. Don’t you have anything better to do than be a complete jackass,” You heard Joel scold his brother. 
Tommy and Jake laughed at the outburst, Tommy smiling and tipping his beer in Joel’s direction.
“Where’s your sense of humor, old man,” Tommy teased. 
“Well shit, look who showed up!” Tommy drawled as you and Kels approached them. 
“Alright, soldier boy, I told you not to start without us,” Kelsey rolled her eyes at the younger Miller brother. 
You smiled at the four of them, they fell so easily into a dynamic. As much as you tried not to feel like an outsider, you were, you chose to make yourself one. So you would watch Jake hug Kels from behind as he, Joel and Tommy shot the shit. You nursed a beer in the stool next to Joel, keeping to yourself. It stung to feel like an outsider where you were once welcome, but you smiled politely and tried to look engaged. 
As the night continued you watched Kelsey pull Jake to the dance floor and Tommy flirt with a bachelorette party that had waltzed in shortly after eleven. You and Joel sat in a bit of an awkward silence unsure what to say to one another. 
Your last conversation had left a sour taste in your mouth, but it wasn’t cause to be blatantly rude to him. 
“So,” he stared awkwardly. 
“So,” you responded without much more enthusiasm. 
“Jake said you were back workin’ again.” 
“Uh, yeah, just casually while I get my shit together.” 
“Saint David’s?” He asked.
“No, No. I’m at the Dell Children’s now,” You smiled. 
He looked at you confused. You had once gone on a rant wishing Dell had a surgical ward that expanded beyond emergency medicine so you could work at your alma mater. You’re surprised he remembered such a small detail, at least you think that was the source of his confusion. 
“I’m in the emergency department, surgical consulting,” you clarified. 
“Ah,” he said, clearly nodding along without fully understanding.
“How’s the contracting business going?” You asked. 
“Other than Tommy being a pain in my ass, it’s been a’right. Work puts food on the table, can’t complain.” 
Another awkward silence fell between you. 
“So, when are you heading back to Toronto? Once you get your shit together?” 
“Never, if I get it together correctly.” 
“Oh damn, sorry, Jake told me some shit happened. I was jus-” he said looking at you apologetically. 
“It’s okay, Joel. You can always buy me another drink as an apology,” you teased. 
Joel waved the bartender over and out two more beers on his tab. 
You laughed telling him he didn’t actually have to do it, but he insisted. 
You began to fall into a comfortable conversation, talking about surface level topics, but it wasn’t awkward by any means. One of you just had to bring something up by accident to break the tension. The drinks helped lighten the mood as well. 
You weren’t sure how long you and Joel were in your own little world for before Kelsey came and pulled you onto the dance floor. 
It was so nice though to have a normal conversation with Joel, to feel less like you were at odds and more just trying to figure each other out again. So much has changed in five years and neither of you were sure where to start. Now that you started again, maybe you could relearn what it meant to be friends. 
It was nearing midnight and you were tired from dancing with Kelsey and Tommy. Joel and Jake had been hanging out at the bar when the new Dixie Chicks cover of Landslide came over the speakers. You can see Joel’s eye roll from where you’re standing, you walked toward the two men. Kelsey pulled Jake onto the floor for a dance. 
You didn’t want to make things awkward for Joel so you started singing along poorly, you grabbed his hand and spun yourself around. He chuckled at the gesture. You both looked down the bar to see Tommy sweet talking to one of the bridesmaids from earlier. 
“It is just us Miller, may as well enjoy the song!” You laughed. He shook his head at you.  
“ Time makes you bolder, even children get older, ” You continued to sing along poorly, Joel took another swig of beer and crossed his arms laughing at you. 
“C’mon old man, it’s a classic!” You laughed, grabbing his hand trying to pull him off the bar stool. 
“No, the classic involves Fleetwood Mac, this is a rip off, darlin’,” You rolled your eyes at him. 
“Ever the critic, Joel Miller.”
It was nice to be able to dance and laugh like this again. It had been months since you felt any semblance of normalcy. Yet here you were shooting the shit with Joel, enjoying yourself, and for once it felt like everything was going to turn out alright.
Joel did stand and smile at you for the last course as he swayed along with you. As the song came to an end Jake and Kelsey made their way back to you. 
“Alright, I’ll be back in a sec,” Joel said, placing his empty on the counter and making his way to the bathroom. 
“I’m going to go find Tommy,” Kelsey said, letting you and Jake have a moment together. 
He put his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into a brief hug kissing your head.
“I’m glad you came out tonight,” Jake smiled at you, taking a seat on Joel’s stool. 
“Me too, but I won’t lie I’m pretty tired,” you chuckled.
“Yeah, I can imagine.”
“So,” Jake's tone shifted more seriously, “You and Joel were getting cozy tonight.” 
“Well yeah, everyone else was a little busy. No sense denying there’s a history there, Jake, it doesn’t mean I can’t be friendly.” 
“I don’t know. I just don’t want to see either of you get hurt again,” He sighed. 
“We have boundaries, Jake. He’s a good man.” You grew frustrated. 
“He is a good man,” He pinched the bridge of his nose. 
“He’s just not good for you,” he placed his hand on your shoulder in reassurance. 
You went to protest against your brother's statement but were cut off. 
“It’s hard to watch you hurting. Austin causes you to hurt, Joel causes you to hurt. If I could convince you to stay I would, but I know you, and I know your heart isn’t here.” 
You sighed in defeat, he was right. Jake usually was, and his own wish for you to stay was proof of that. He knew you weren’t capable of being just friends with Joel, and he knew that if you stayed you would just get hurt over and over. If you stayed here tonight, if you stayed here in Austin, if you stayed in Joel’s life. For now, the only resolution you were capable of was turning in for the night with Kelsey. 
“I want to go home now,” You said to him, waving Kelsey down. 
“Want me to come with you?” Jake asked in earnest. 
“No, you have fun with the boys! I know Kelsey, she's probably pretty close to done anyway.” 
You told Kelsey you were ready to go just as both Miller brothers had made their way back to you. She nodded in understanding, flashing a look at Jake and Joel. The taxi ride home was quiet and spent it with your head resting against the window. 
The day finally catching up to you and fuelling your exhaustion you couldn’t wait to curl up in your bed and sleep this feeling of uncertainty off. 
It didn’t take you long to get comfortable and fall asleep once you were home. You placed your cell on the nightstand next to you just in case Jake called needing you or Kelsey. The boys were notorious for getting themselves into trouble and you had made a habit of having a phone nearby. 
You had fallen asleep easily, but it didn’t last long as the cellphone rang next to you, pulling you from your sleep. 
“Hello?” You answered your phone through a sleep ridden fog. 
“Uh, hey darlin’, I didn’t mean t’ wake you,” a familiar voice came through the receiver of your cell. 
“Joel?” 
“Yeah,” he confirmed. 
“How’d you get my number?” You questioned, still confused, your voice laced with sleep. 
You looked over at your alarm clock, 1:54am. 
“And why are you calling me at two in the morning?” You continued. 
“I, uh, I asked Sarah for it after your gals night. Y’know? Just in case she uh- wanted to chat with you.” He only answered the first part. 
“Figures.” You laughed. 
“Is she there waiting to talk to me now? At two in the morning?” You questioned, still foggy from your early awakening. 
“No, no, uh shit.” He whispered, “This was all me.”
You hummed lightly. 
“You ran outta there tonight without even sayin’ goodbye. I was worried something happened to you,” He admitted. 
“Oh,” You said. Your heart rate grew quicker, not wanting to tell him the real reason you had left so abruptly. 
“Uh- no. It just wasn’t really my scene. Kelsey asked if I wanted to go home and I agreed.” 
“Well, I was sad to see you leave so soon. I definitely thought I would be getting another dance outta you, you know to real music,” 
You faked a gasp. 
“I’ll have you know, Mr. Miller, The Dixie Chicks are very much real music and you didn’t seem to mind it,” you laughed. 
“I was just putting on a show for you darlin’,” He mused. 
“Well Joel, if it means I can get going back to bed, I’ll own you a dance to real music next time,” you mocked.
You heard a soft sharp inhale through the phone. 
“I’ll hold you to it,” He said softly, the tone of the conversation felt like it had vastly changed. 
You couldn’t see Joel but you knew when intensity laced his tone, making the tension palpable in the air, this was one of those times. 
“Well, I ain’t gonna keep you. I just wanted to make sure you were alright,” 
“Thank you. I’m good, Joel. I, uh-“ you paused, “I had a lot of fun tonight. It was really nice to hang out.” You admitted. 
“Yeah uh- yeah. It was just like ol’ times,” There was a pause between you both for a moment. 
“Goodnight, old man,” 
“Alright, that wasn’t very nice of you darlin’,” Joel said, chuckling.
You laughed quietly along with him. 
“Night , Joel,” you said, yawning through the phone. 
“G’night beautiful. Don’t be a stranger, okay?” 
You hummed in response, ending the call and placing your cell phone back on the nightstand. 
It was nice to connect with Joel, but your brother's voice echoed in your head. 
I know your heart isn’t here. 
You tossed and turned, the moral dilemma causing your stomach to turn. You wanted to let Joel in, it felt so good to dance with him, watch him laugh. It was your own personal drug, you were addicted to the feeling of being close to him. Yet you knew you couldn’t betray him again. Jake was right, you were only capable of hurting one another. 
The part of you that wished Austin could be home forever was the part that pushed you away the first time. You were determined to leave in one piece this time. 
Can I handle the seasons of my life? Cause I’ve been afraid of changing.
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tags: @thetriumphantpanda @fruit-frogs @harriedandharassed @skysmiller @beskarandblasters @wand-erer5 @missgurrl @casa-boiardi @undrthelights @wishyoudaskme @reader-without-a-story @morning-star-joy @cupofjoel @sinsofsummers @cavillscurls @tightjeansjavi @whichwitchwanda @dugiioh @readingfan @patti7dc @spidermanfrog
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daddyhausen · 2 years ago
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• kinktober day four : ddlg — trent beretta •
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{ masterlists } | { kinktober 2023 }
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{ commission info } | { like my work? buy me a coffee — kofi — dxddyhxusen }
{ summary } — after a nightmare, trent’s attempt at consoling you proves futile. however, he does know one way to calm your fears
{ warnings } — 18 + { minors do not interact }, ddlg, daddy kink, sub!reader, little!reader, soft sex, mild somnophilia, comfort, praise, vaginal sex, penetrative sex, internal cumshots vaginal creampie, male + female orgasms, squirting
{ word count } — 1k
{ pairing } — fem!reader x trent beretta
{ genre } — smut
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{ taglist } — @cosmoholic13 @thewrestlingbitch @omg-im-such-a-masochist @adamjf @wardlow @alexisquinnlee-bc @sammiejane22 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @omegasluvbot @melissahausen @writtingrose @drummergrl1310 @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @bonehead-playz @cherrytheeredheadmamaclaymore @crowleysqueenofhell @romanreigns-supreme @janetreader @thenerdybaker523 @sunshinevirus @nicoleveno14 @rubyred1980 @elsteenerico @igncrxntripley @ripleyswhore @embermdk @thepalaceofmelanie @violetmacher @seeingstarks
{ beta readers } — @allelitesmut + @legit9thlunaticwarrior
{ comment if you want to be added to the taglist }
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his eyelids fluttered open in the dead of night
a soft exhale left his lips unsure as to why he’d woken up so suddenly
his eyes still adjusting to the soft glow of the moonlight peaking from behind the curtains
an overwhelming sense of dread flooded his veins upon hearing soft frightened whimpers from beside him.
his blood ran cold, throat ran dry as he turned to face the origin of the sound
he saw you, clinging to the bedsheets, cowering beneath them
your face hidden on the pillows, calling out for him despite being deep in slumber
he noticed the tear stains dampening the pillow, how your body shuddered with fear
“princess…hey wake up…”
his large palm engulfed your shoulder as he grabbed it, shaking you, in an attempt to rouse you from your slumber.
you awoke in a panic, arms outstretched, searching for him in the darkness until you made contact with his bicep, clinging to him
“shh sweetheart, it’s okay, i’m here”
he engulfed you into his warmth, his embrace felt homely, comforting…safe.
letting his palm gently smooth the back of your head, gingerly twirling stray strands of his around his fingers
you cowered into his, softly sobbing into his chest
“i-i’m sorry i woke you up…” you muttered against his skin
“oh no, sweetheart, it’s alright. don’t be sorry”
his fingertips drew small shapes against the nape of your neck
moving in slow, comforting circles
“are you alright? do you want to talk about it now?”
he questioned cautiously, afraid that more tears would spill
you shook your head no, clinging to him desperately
“alright princess…i won’t force you to say anything now…whenever your ready”
you peered up at him, eyes puffy and red, stinging with tears as you tried to meet his gaze
“d-daddy…?” you whimpered
“yes sweetheart?” he answered, cupping your cheeks, more attentive that usual as your regression began
it wouldn't happen often, only in moments where you felt the most afraid
and ironically, the most comfortable and safest with him
you paused for a moment, contemplating your words
mouth hung agape but no words left your lips
your eyes dipped down to your hands, twiddling your thumbs in your lap
“hey, hey…” he began.
“what is it?” his thumb gently swiping tears from your heated cheeks
“j-just…” you stuttered
“promise me you won’t leave…”
his heart broke.
“oh honey…” he cooed, engulfing you tightly in is embrace
“is that what your nightmare was about?”
you nodded, feeling safe and warm in his arms
“i’m not going anywhere, okay. i’ll be right here, always”
he pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead
letting his lips linger a few more seconds then they needed too
“now relax, sweetheart…daddy will help you sleep”
you nodded softly, tiredly
sleep gently lulling you back into a peaceful state
your head soon hit the pillow, a small sigh leaving your lips
your back pressed against his chest, letting him whisper sweet nothings into you ear to help calm you
his hips angled against yours, fingers hooking into your panties, pulling them to the side
i’m right here. princess…i’m never going to leave you”’
he freed his cock from his sweatpants
teasing your folds with the tip
gathering your wetness, slowly pushing himself into you
your whimpers deep in your chest, almost as if you were trying to silence them
trent’s lips peppered gentle kisses to the tops of your shoulders
the act seemingly help calm you down momentarily
“daddy…” you mumbled
“hmm?” he muttered against your neck, the sound reverberating in your skin
“i love you…”
“i love you too sweetheart…”
he wrapped a hand around your waist, pulling you closer against him
his cock sinking deeper into you with each movement
“oh fuck…” he groaned out breathlessly
the feeling of your cunt was unmatched. it was perfect
so tight. so warm
“feels so good, daddy”
“i know baby” he panted. “you feel so good for me”
he let his hand slip between your thighs
teasing your clit with the tips of his fingers
adoring the way you shuddered and whined against him
“you’re safe, princess…i won’t let anything hurt you”
trent’s fingers drew out your pleasure, in small circular strokes
your cunt quivering around his impressive size
feeling him pulse and throb inside of you
you cling to his arm, hips grinding against it, trying to desperately add more friction your clit craved
“cum for me baby, you’re so close, you’re doing so well”
you felt the pulse rise between your thighs, aided by the gentle strokes of his cock and swirl of his fingers
“daddy…please”
“please what, sweetheart?”
“i want it…i want it all” you whimpered in between breathes. he knew exactly what you meant
“you’ll get all of it, my princess” he tilted your head back to kiss you roughly as he increased his movements
“you’ll get every last drop”
your sleepy whines grew louder, more desperate for release
you did not even recognise your own orgasm
gushing around his size, and his fingers
“there’s my good girl…” he muttered against your lips
“i’m gonna cum, princess…daddy’s gonna fill you up”
without another word he released
his hot cum filling you to the brim, leaking out of your aching cunt as he pulled out
he admired the way you clung to him, still so needy for his touch
“c’mere sweetheart…” he pulled you onto his chest, allowing you to listen to the soft thrums of his heart beat
“feel better?” you nodded with a soft hum in response
“good…” he kissed your forehead gently
“get some sleep, princess…i love you”
.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.
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ourtearsofrain · 11 months ago
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Slow It Down (D.R.W/S.F.K)- Chapter 2
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Pairings: Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka, (barely a mention of) Josh Kiszka x Male O.C.
Genre: angst, small fluffy brotherly moment between Jake and Danny
Word Count:  1.8k
Warnings: drinking, smoking, capital “A” Awkward reunion between Sam and Danny, painful flashback of unrequited feelings, argument/heated convo between Sam and Danny, miscommunication
A/N: Yes, I did put Austin (Josh’s O.C. boyfriend from Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy) in this even though this series is separate from that universe because I love him so much. Same O.C., different universe.
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Daniel. He only calls me that when he’s mad at me. He only called me that when he was mad at me. The tension between them is thick enough to cut with a knife, and each set of parents share confused looks at their less than enthusiastic reunion. Josh comes to the rescue, clearing his throat loudly and grabbing Danny’s arm as he passes him, dragging him over to Jake where he stood making the drinks. “C’mon Daniel, start chugging. Jake and I are already three drinks in.”
“Joshua!” Karen’s scolds her oldest son this time, breaking the tangible awkwardness between Sam and Danny as everyone resumes what they had been doing prior to Sam’s entrance.
“What? It’s summer break, day drinking is socially acceptable.” He shoots her a smile as she rolls her eyes, busying herself with helping Sam take the rest of the watermelon to the tables as Josh turns back to the other two men. The smile leaves his face instantly as he gives Danny a concerned look, handing him his drink as Jake works on their refills. “The fuck was that?”
“What do you mean?” Danny takes a sip of his drink, grimacing slightly at the amount of alcohol Jake had put in it.
“The fucking ‘Hey Sam’, ‘Daniel’. Did you guys get in a fight recently or something?”
“No.”
“Then what happened? You guys are best friends, as close as Jake and I are.”
“No, Josh. You, Jake, and Austin are my best friends. I haven’t spoken to Sam since I moved to New York.”
“What?!” The twins speak at the same time, their faces identical looks of shock as their jaws drop.
“Yeah uh, guess we just grew apart.” Or something like that.
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August 4th, 2017, 3:27 AM; The Wagner House’s roof.
“Promise me you won’t forget me.” Sam’s words are quiet, the crack in his voice loud in the still of the night. Danny glances over at his best friend, the tears in his eyes catching the light of the waxing moon.
“What? Sam, of course I’ll never forget you. How could I?”
“I don’t know, it’s stupid. Just… Jake and Josh left, and now you. You’re all off to bigger and better things than Frankenmuth has to offer, and I’ll just be here. Alone.”
“Come with me then. Come with me to New York, you can enroll at NYU for Spring semester next term, live with Josh and I.”
Sam shakes his head with a halfhearted smile, his tears finally escaping as they roll down his cheeks. “Na, you know I’m not a big city guy. Besides, you guys probably don’t want me there…”
Danny laughs in disbelief. “What are you talking about, Sam? Of course we want you there.”
“I mean it Danny. That’s just… not for me. You guys will move away, find a new life, hell, fall in love. And I’ll be here.”
“Come with me, Sam.” Danny begs, his heart breaking at each word that came from his mouth.
“No, Danny. Why the hell do you want me to come with you so fucking bad?”
Before he can think or try to stop himself, Danny grabs the sides of his face, pulling him towards himself until their lips meet. Hope flickers in his stomach as he feels Sam begin to kiss him back until he abruptly pulls away, out of his touch. He stands quickly, wiping his tears away roughly as he begins to back towards the open window of Danny’s bedroom.
“I- I have to go. Goodbye, Daniel. See you arou- see you when I see you.” And just like that, he’s gone, disappearing into the window. 15 seconds later, he sees Sam jog towards his own house, his front door slamming behind him as Danny can do nothing but sit frozen in shock.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. What have I fucking done? Danny pulls his knees to his chest, his head dropping as he begins to sob, truly alone in the dead of the night.
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“What do you mean you ‘grew apart’?” Jake’s question rips Danny from his memories, who tries to keep his voice even as everything he felt that night resurfaces.
“He didn’t call, didn’t pick up when I called. I guess our schedules just didn’t line up when I visited.”
“You’re telling me you guys literally haven’t spoken, haven’t seen each other since the day you left??” Josh’s eyebrows furrow as he glances back to his youngest brother, anger beginning to show on his face.
“Nope.” Danny takes the opportunity to down the rest of his drink as the twins both look over to Sam, sitting alone trying to ignore them. Trying to ignore Danny.
“What the fuck??” Jake sets down his drink, beginning to start towards Sam. “I’m gonna rip him a fucking new one. That little shit doesn’t get to just ignore his best friend of 11 years just because he moved for college.”
“Jake, wait!” Danny catches his arm, preventing him from continuing on his path. “Please just drop it, it’s fine. We can coexist this summer, and then I’ll go back to New York for school, and it’ll be done and over with. I swear, it’s not that big of a deal.”
“Whatever. I’m still gonna be passive aggressive towards that twerp all summer. Little asshat.” Jake shakes his head, anger still visible on his face but slowly diminishing.
“Me too.” Josh says in solidarity, looking sincerely at Danny.
“It’s cause he’s the youngest, thinks he can get away with anything.” Jake grumbles before noticing Danny’s empty cup. “Refill?”
“Uh, yeah, thanks.” Danny suddenly feels as if he’s being watched, and he looks behind him only to see everyone else talking, immersed in their own conversations and unaware of the one that had just occurred between the three men. That is until he glances over to where Sam sat, seeing his eyes fixed on him with an unreadable expression. The second Danny makes eye contact, he looks away quickly, pretending to be interested in the grass at his feet.
Bastard. If anyone should be staring, it should be me. I just fucking know he wore that outfit to torture me, maybe see if I still had feelings or something. Why the fuck else would he wear those tiny ass blue swim shorts and only do the bottom two buttons of his shirt. It’s fine, Danny. Just don’t look at him the rest of the night, just ignore him and everything will be fine.
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10:29 PM
Danny’s plan had worked for the most part throughout the night, paying Sam no mind as he tried his best to enjoy his time with his family. It hadn’t exactly been hard as Sam had maybe said ten words all night, preferring to sulk away from the group even as the Kiszka and Wagner parents kept trying to include him in conversations. At around 10 pm, Sam excused himself for the night, grumbling some excuse about being tired only for his brothers to ridicule him about how “early” it was.
As the night had gone on, Danny kept downing every drink Jake made for him, quickly becoming tipsier than he had intended to be. Luckily, the twins kept up with him, drinking just as much (and more than likely, more than Danny had).
“Dannyyyyyyy.” Jake whines at him from his camping chair as they all sat around a small fire pit, toasting marshmallows for S’mores. “Do you still have your old guitar? Wanna play but mines back at my place in Chicago and I don’t wanna ask Sam to use his.”
“Yeah, I do. Hasn’t been used in ages and I lost my tuner when I was packing though.”
“S’fine, I can tune by ear. I’m practically a pro.” He giggles at his own comment, beginning to sway gently in his seat as he watches Danny stand.
He wobbles on his feet for a moment before finding his balance, carefully navigating around the fire. “I gotcha Jake, be back in a second.”
“Yaaaaay.” Jake and Josh cheer in unison, with everyone knowing that Jake’s playing would surely be accompanied by Josh singing.
“Best little brother ever. Love you, Dan.” Jake calls after him as he starts across the yard.
“Love you too Jake!” He can’t wipe the smile off his face as he walks through the side door, remembering how good it felt to be surrounded by his family again. Unfortunately, it’s wiped from his face when he immediately sees Sam sitting on the curb of the sidewalk between their houses smoking a cigarette. He just had to fucking pick somewhere I would have to pass him, didn’t he. Danny tries to make as little sound as possible as he walks behind him, hoping he won’t notice, or if he did, he wouldn’t say anything.
“Hey.” Shit. Danny stops five feet away from Sam as he looks behind him, directly at Danny.
“Oh, so you’re talking to me now?”
“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?”
Anger floods Danny as he stares back at Sam in disbelief at the audacity of his question. “What the fuck do you think it means, Samuel? You ignored me for three years and then continued to ignore me the entire night. Don’t pretend we’re all buddy buddy again.”
“You’re the one that kissed me, you don’t get to be mad I needed space.”
“MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE KISSED ME BACK!” The volume of his voice surprises even himself, quickly lowering it as he continues for fear that the others will hear. “I have every right to be angry at you, Sam. You were my best friend. You could have talked to me about it. You should have talked to me. I would have respected your boundaries, and we could have moved on like nothing happened. You don’t get to use the past to be an asshole to me now.”
Sam says nothing as he looks over Danny, his expression once again unreadable. “You grew your hair out long.” His voice is quiet, following his statement with a long drag of his cigarette.
“Yeah. I did. It’s been three fucking years. Maybe you would have known that if you cared enough to answer my calls.”
“It hasn’t been three years.”
“Y’know what, Sam? You’re right. It’s been two years, ten months, and 15 days.” Angry tears threaten Danny’s lash line as he stares Sam down.
“Jesus Christ, you’ve been counting?”
“Of course I have, Sam. Why wouldn’t I count the days since the biggest mistake of my life?” Danny spits the words out, already done with the conversation and using everything in him to keep himself from walking away then and there. Sam says nothing, silence falling between them as he takes another drag from his cigarette. “Unbelievable.” Danny scoffs as he shakes his head, resuming his path to his house and leaving Sam alone on the curb.
“You weren’t the one that made the mistake that night.” Sam whispers, but Danny’s already too far away to hear him. He puts his cigarette out on the asphalt beneath him, his stomach twisting as tears silently roll down his cheeks.
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taglist: @gretnavannfleet @aioba1503-sdm @jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka @milojames16 @theres-a-tvjoe @sanguinebats @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @currentlyfangirling10
(The tags have been funky, so if it didn’t work, let me know)
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Next Chapter
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skjam · 8 months ago
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Pulp Fanfic Crossover Fodder: Dr. Goldfoot
Note: This is primarily based on Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine (1965).
Little is known of the background of Dr. Goldfoot. This includes not knowing his full name, if that even is his birth name, and where if anywhere he got his doctorate. He claimed descent from a pirate, a member of the Inquisition, and Attila the Hun's mentor in violence.
As of 1965, he appeared to be physically in his fifties, and had resided for some years in San Francisco operating a private cemetery and funeral home as a front for his other activities. It was in this year that he invented his best-known device, the Bikini Machine. The Bikini Machine created humanoid female-shaped robots with fairly complex programming, allowing them a limited ability to pass as human women. Each came with a gold-fabric bikini; it's not clear if they had actual female anatomy underneath that cloth.
Dr. Goldfoot supplemented the basic programming by downloading data from computer tapes directly to their memory banks. This was used primarily for giving them the ability to speak knowledgably about their targets' areas of interest.
The plan was to have these "girlbots" marry wealthy men, strip them of their assets, and transfer the wealth to Dr. Goldfoot. His goals beyond that are unclear.
Due to poor instructions by Dr. Goldfoot's henchman Igor. girlbot #12 "Diane" mistook Secret Intelligence Command (SIC) agent Craig Gamble for her target, millionaire Todd Armstrong. Craig, a nitwit only employed by SIC because his uncle Donald J. Pevney was the San Francisco office chief, only understood that the bizarre-acting woman he'd instantly fallen in love with had suddenly abandoned him (when Dr. Goldfoot corrected her commands) but this was enough to put him on the case.
Diane "met cute" with Todd and quickly persuaded him to marry her. At no time was the marriage consummated, but it's not clear if this was due to incapacity on #12's part or a part of a strategy to string Todd along until she possessed all his assets. Eventually, Craig and Todd teamed up to "rescue" Diane from Dr. Goldfoot, despite the fact she'd already been reprogrammed to forget she ever met them.
After a number of hijinks and a chase through San Francisco, Dr. Goldfoot and Igor were seemingly killed by naval bombardment. In reality, they survived, and the two men and Diane replaced the flight crew on a passenger jet to France.
By 1966, Dr. Goldfoot had become separated from Igor and Diane (the latter of whom may have married the German man she was flirting with on the plane) and was operating out of Italy. (Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs) He'd accepted Chinese funding to rebuild his Bikini Machine. This new version created "girlbombs" that could impersonate specific people and explode on command.
This time, the plan was to disrupt NATO war games by assassinating the various generals involved. The plan was thwarted by another SIC agent, Bill Dexter, and two Italian doormen named Franco and Ciccio. Dr. Goldfoot then attempted to detonate a nuclear bomb in Moscow to start World War Three, but this also failed and he was believed killed in the explosion. In fact, he survived, but no further activity of his has been recorded.
By the 1990s, Dr. Goldfoot's girlbot technology had been acquired by Virtucorp, the front organization for Dr. Evil, and somewhat improved. (See Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.)
Girlbots are very sturdy, able to take a collision with a small automobile without being moved or taking noticeable damage. They can be pierced by small arms fire, but unless vital areas are specifically targeted, this does not impair their function in any way. They're also far stronger than they appear. (Fortunately, most of Dr. Goldfoot's girlbots were not programmed to use violence.) They have radio receivers which allow them to receive commands directly from a console Dr. Goldfoot also invented.
The first batch of girlbots, including #12, were mostly able to impersonate human women, but came off as eccentric. They relied on their good looks and aggressive courting tactics to distract targets from realizing there was anything odd.
In addition to the Bikini Machine, Dr. Goldfoot's technology included: opera glasses that sprouted poison spikes (never used on camera), laser lipstick, the ability to remotely control motorcars, and either remote viewing or multiple miniature cameras placed throughout San Francisco. The latter two were incorporated into the same console he used to communicate with the girlbots. He had some way of reviving the (recently?) dead, but the only person he is known to have used it on was Igor.
Dr, Goldfoot bore a strong resemblance to the actor Vincent Price. He always wore gold-fabric slippers, and it was implied at one point that his actual feet were also golden in color. He was fey in his mannerisms, although he did seem to appreciate the aesthetics of his Bikini Machine creations. He put little value on human life, and was fully willing for his girlbots to eliminate competition the hard way.
The mad scientist's grasp of geopolitics may have been a little shaky. He sent a girlbot with the appearance of a black woman to marry a person who would have been a white man in South Africa at the height of apartheid.
Crossover potential: A rather silly mad scientist who specializes in creating femi-form robots can have many uses, as long as the story is okay with that kind of humor. Assuming nothing else happens to him, Dr. Goldfoot would die of old age in the early 1990s.
Notably, Dr. Goldfoot's headquarters was not destroyed in the movie, so the U.S. government was presumably able to access his technology and study it. ("Top men.") Also, several girlbots were already out on assignment at the time of his defeat, and are presumably loose ends.
SIC is one of the many splinter intelligence agencies the fictional U.S. government sponsored during this time period to increase plausible deniability. The budget was apparently tiny, with the San Francisco office being headquarters in a two-room office, Craig and his uncle being the only two operatives, and Craig not having access to any spy gadgets or even a gun. (His salary was also miniscule--he considered a cheese sandwich at the cafeteria a suitable date meal.)
The fictional agency your main characters belong to may have absorbed SIC and its records if the story is set post-1966.
Have fun!
@krinsbez
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ncisfranchise-source · 4 months ago
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EXCLUSIVE: Up until this week, fans of the NCIS franchise were led to believe that it was Mike Franks who had the biggest impact on Gibbs landing a job with the military police. And for the most part, it’s still true — except we now know that his rough-around-the-edges boss doesn’t deserve all the credit.
Fascinated by how “unexpected people come in and out of our lives who are sometimes being the most influential,” Showrunners David J. North and Gina Monreal decided to craft a story that involved Gibbs finding inspiration from the unlikeliest of people — his ill-tempered landlord. Titled “Blue Bayou” after Linda Ronstadt’s 1977 cover of the Roy Orbison classic (“I feel so bad I got a worried mind, I’m so lonesome all the time“), Gibbs (Austin Stowell) forms a unique connection with Ruth (London Garcia), whom he briefly met in the November 25 episode titled “One Flew Over.”
The two not only spend much-needed time together — he helps her track down some losers who stole her stuff — she also encourages Gibbs not to be “a little bitch” about getting through the NIS training. “You’re a damn good big sister,” he tells her after he graduates.
“I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that in the NCIS canon, we know Gibbs kills Pedro Hernandez and then suddenly he’s an NIS agent,” North tells Deadline. “Gina and I just talked a lot and realized we’d love to see a story with Ruth and Gibbs. We think it’s really a story that matches who Gibbs is. He met Ruth when he had no one and he couldn’t even tell his own father that he had left the Marines. Ruth was there for him when no one else was. In the end we learn that Ruth really was the one that led him to believe that this could be a career for him. She saved him.”
For Garcia, it was an unexpected thrill to get the call that she was wanted back on the Origins set after playing such a small role in the November 25 episode. “It was just me, who’s kind of a slumlord, showing an apartment. I did the one episode and thought, I just want to make sure that they got what they wanted,” said Garcia, whose previous experience includes small roles on This is Us, American Crime Story, Unprisoned, and 9-1-1: Lone Star. “When I read the script [for Blue Bayou], I couldn’t believe it. The story is so incredible to me. Every time I read it, my face was wet. I cried every time.”
Stowell said some of the episode — like when Gibbs and Ruth spend quiet time together doing puzzles — was highly personal.
“I talked to David and Gina quite a bit about my personal life,” he tells Deadline. “I’m a puzzle person and my father passed away a few years ago, so I draw a lot on that to this role. There’s so much of Gibbs that comes from my relationship with my dad. And part of what helped me get through that time were puzzles. I was living in L.A. at the time, it was in the middle of Covid, and I had a neighbor who became aware of what was going on, and we would go for a walk pretty much every day. So he bought me a puzzle, and then it became a bit of a tradition that we were passing puzzles back and forth to each other. I really hope that he watches this episode.”
Shooting those puzzle scenes was a breeze, explains Garcia; it was all improvisation so they would make up different conversations and end up laughing about it afterwards. But the meaning behind them was important to convey to viewers.
“There’s that comfort level you get with people where you can be around each other without talking,” explains Garcia. “There’s so much they could be talking about that they don’t want to talk about it. And the fact that neither one of them is pushing each other is comfortable in itself.”
Stowell appreciates how the episode “sets up so much of why Gibbs is the way he is.” His stress over learning about Ruth’s fatal diagnosis leads to him to believe that he failed his psych evaluation, which in turn makes him a magnet for bar fights. Franks (Kyle Schmid) ends up hiring Gibbs for NIS because Ruth dressed him down for not believing enough in their mutual friend.
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“He’s been hurt time and time again by those he holds closely, first with his family. And now this is another huge, let’s call it a thorn in his side that lives with him forever,” Stowell tells Deadline. “Yes, he does eventually get the job at NIS. Yes, he goes on to have this incredible career that we all know and ends up in Alaska and seems to be happy there and finds his peace. His relationship with Ruth has to be a direct catalyst for that.”
“This is where we get to know the real guy,” continues Stowell. “It’s what I have loved about taking on this challenge from the very beginning. I thought it was such a unique opportunity to play a character before they become the hero. We’re learning how he picked himself up. We’re learning how he built the foundation of a fortress that is Leroy Jethro Gibbs, standing in the river in Alaska. That to me is a real gift to explore as an actor, but also so interesting for the audience to get to see how the man was made.”
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starboybutler · 1 year ago
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Blue Christmas
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summary: austin throws a christmas party while elvis is feeling fuzzy.
word count: 1.6k
warnings: age regression, pure fluff
notes: this is actually a bday gift for one of my mutuals!! @mooodyblue happy (early) birthday lily!!! hope u enjoy and have a happy birthday 🫶🏽
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christmas was elvis’ favorite holiday.
a lot of people said christmas was their favorite, but elvis held it near and dear to his heart. he loved it all– the lights, the gifts, being with family, cooking food– all of it. it made him feel like he was a boy again, pestering his mama about whether or not they’d see santa in their small little armpit of a neighborhood. he’d always fall asleep though– and wake up to one or two presents underneath their small tree.
they were never big gifts, and that was fine, because just being there with his momma was enough for him.
elvis, despite his big and loud lifestyle, actually liked small, quiet christmases. he loved when it was him, and a handful of people that he held near and dear to his heart.
this year, however, austin had decided to throw a little christmas party. elvis was surprised by this, because austin was a pretty reserved person. he didn’t like crowds– they made him nervous– and he was a wallflower at parties. but he told elvis that it would be small– just a few friends and some family that were coming to visit him, and that they wouldn’t stay long at all. austin said he was allowed to invite some of his friends, but…
it didn’t matter. elvis would get through it fine. he was looking forward to spending one on one time with austin, but if there were a few people around, he could handle it. he was a little worried about them figuring out his identity, but austin said he had told them some lie about him being a friend that just looked a lot like elvis– or something like that. whatever.
the day of the party came– christmas eve– and elvis was able to greet everyone with a smile and a handshake, despite that fuzziness in the back of his head. there was austin’s older sister, ashley, and his close friend, also ashley– and his dad, and an aunt, and someone’s boyfriend– and a baby–
about ten people in total showed up. it wasn’t a ridiculous amount, but it was more than elvis was expecting. he saw austin shoot him a nervous look from the corner of his eye, before trying to get everyone settled in the living room. he heard mumbles of people telling him he had a nice place, or that he really did have a friend that looked like elvis.
after that, austin approached him, smiling softly.
“i know i said a few people–”
“it’s fine, aus.” elvis said, waving him off. “y’don’t gotta justify nothin’ to me. it’s your party. i’m fine.”
the blonde looked unsure, gently taking elvis’ hand in his. “y’sure? you don’t have to pretend to be alright with this– i know this isn’t what you were expecting, and–”
“it’s alrght,” elvis hums, rolling his shoulders. “i’ll jus’ try an’ sit back. observe.”
austin gave him a warm smile, caressing his knuckles with his thumb. “lemme know if y’need me at all, okay?”
elvis nodded, and trailed behind austin to the couch, waving meekly at everyone. they all began talking, gossiping about things elvis didn’t quite get and people he didn’t know. he felt so out of place, but he did his best to look like he was somewhat invested in the conversation.
as time went on, he zoned out. he couldn’t stay focused on anything– even if he tried. that fuzziness in his head tried to take over, but he was determined to let austin have a good time. he tried not to give into that feeling or those thoughts. he tried not to think about how nice it would be to get nice and comfortable in his favorite pajamas right now– or how he desperately wanted to watch cartoons while snuggled up in the blankets on the bed upstairs– or how he really wanted a pb and j and some milk.
“...e? e? what about you?”
“huh?” elvis hummed, snapping out of his thoughts abruptly. “what about me?”
“you enjoyin’ the party? y’seem a little in your head.”
it was austin asking, but the whole room was staring at him, waiting for an answer. that didn’t help the tiny feeling in his brain as he scrambled to answer, the words seeming to get stuck in his throat. “i–”
he stuttered something awful, his cheeks flushing as he began to fidget with the sleeves of his sweater. “i-i– yeah, i’m…it’s fun. f-fun.”
the room accepts his response, but austin furrows his brows in worry as he gently grabs elvis’ hand.
“uh– we’ll be right back.”
austin pulled him up, leading him into the kitchen gently. elvis felt dazed and small and stupid for stuttering like that, in front of all those people, but all of that melted away when austin’s thumb gently brushed against his cheek.
“hey now,” the blonde crooned, his eyes gently glimmering with all of the pretty colors of their christmas lights. “whatsa matter, huh? you look all sad.”
elvis swallowed hard, wanting so badly to lie and try to spare austin’s feelings– but the more he thought about going back out there in his dumb sweater and uncomfortable pants, the more he cracked and just sniffled, overstimulated.
“i hate it, momma.” elvis whimpered, eyes watering with unshed tears. “too many people– ‘s all loud and hot and this sweater is itchy– i jus’ wanna snuggle with you and watch cartoons.”
“oh, baby,” austin frowned, taking elvis’ hands in his and caressing his knuckles. “why didn’t you say nothin’? i told you i was right there if ya needed anything.”
elvis sniffled softly, his cheeks flushing as he murmured quietly. “wanted you to have fun, momma. d-didn’t want you t’worry ‘bout me.”
“baby.” austin sighs, pulling him in for a tight hug, immediately making him melt into the warm crook of his neck, sniffling softly as the blonde rubs soothing circles into his back. “i’m your caregiver, i’m supposed to worry about you. you’re my little prince, and i’m your momma. i would do anything for you. you got that?”
“b-b-but–”
“no buts,” austin hushes, running his fingers through elvis’ soft locks. “how about this– you go upstairs ‘n get comfy, and i’ll be up there in a few minutes, okay?”
“okey,” he sniffed, pulling away from austin reluctantly and walking towards the stairs, hearing austin reassure the group of people behind him that he was perfectly fine.
he reached the bedroom and sat on the bed, fidgeting with his fingers as he waited for austin to show up. he heard their voices down there– faint and mumbly, and then a door closing.
the room to the door opened, and austin smiled at him softly.
“hi baby.”
“hi momma.” elvis muttered, rocking back and forth idly. “where’d everyone go?” he asked, noticing the lack of mumbling from downstairs.
“i sent ‘em home.”
“wha– why?” elvis whined, a little embarrassed. “y-y’didn’t have to– i-i didn’t mean f-for you to end the whole thing!”
“it’s not a big deal.” he said. shrugging. “besides, i was gettin’ a little tired too. and i missed my baby.” he hummed, pressing a noisy kiss to elvis’ cheek.
elvis whined, his face flushing as austin’s plush lips met his cheek. “momma!”
“sorry, sorry, i know how you are about kisses.” he hums, sitting next to him. “you ready to watch a movie?”
“r-really? wh-which movie?”
“any movie you want.”
“o-oh, uh…c-can we watch the grinch?” elvis asked eagerly, practically bouncing as he looked up at austin with eyes that were practically glowing.
“of course. let’s get your pjs on first.” he hummed, taking elvis’ hand and standing him up, letting him look at his options in the drawer before him. “pick a pair.”
“oooh….uhm, i want the pink ones!” he decided, his thumb making its way between his lips as he spoke. “the ones with the yellow stars,”
“okay prince.” austin hummed, before tsking and pulling elvis’ finger away from his mouth. “nuh uh. we don’t bite our fingers. you want your paci?”
elvis blushed, but nodded shyly. “uh huh.”
austin handed him his favorite pacifier, a baby blue one with little stars scattered all over it, making elvis smile as he took it into his mouth and began suckling idly. austin smiled and ruffled his hair, getting out the pajama set elvis had chosen.
austin sat him down and undressed him gently, poking him in his stomach teasingly every few seconds, making elvis pout and whine. once his shirt was buttoned and his pants were on, austin kneeled in front of him and looked him over once, before sneaking a kiss on top of his pacifier.
elvis went red, but didn’t whine. he just looked away, embarrassed as austin giggled at his expression.
“okay baby, let’s put the movie on. you ready to snuggle with momma?”
elvis nodded, crawling in the bed and snuggling into his usual spot, pulling the blankets to his chin. austin smiles fondly, making sure to grab elvis’ stuffed bear before he crawled into bed next to him. elvis eagerly grabbed his stuffie and snuggled it close to his chest, scooching closer to austin as he settled down next to him, turning the tv on.
it was quiet as austin put the movie on, save for the steady sound of elvis’ breathing. he snuggled into austin’s side as the movie began to play, giggling and smiling at the jokes and such.
not even halfway through the movie, he was fast asleep, his gentle snores filling the room as he subconsciously tried to press closer to austin, hugging his tiny stuffed bear to his chest like his life depended on it. austin couldn’t help but smile down at him, admiring how peaceful he looked as he slept. it warmed his heart seeing him rest– especially since he didn’t get good sleep often. the fact he felt safe and secure enough to sleep in his arms made him proud.
austin turned the tv off, pulling elvis’ head closer to his chest as he settled into the covers himself.
“goodnight, little prince.”
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momentspause · 1 year ago
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A re-creation
Today, my partner J and I are celebrating our anniversary. There's nobody in the world I would think about experiencing life.
J put a camera in my hands around our 5th anniversary and said, "go, shoot." Later that year, in our small apartment in Denver, we spent an evening playing with light and pumpkins, shooting slow and long exposures on film. We re-created that one night when we were in Austin.
Happy anniversary, my partner. I love you.
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mariacallous · 1 year ago
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It’s Everyday, Bro feat. Donald J. Trump
In between court appearances, former president Donald Trump has been campaigning in a handful of odd places. In February he hawked his golden shoes at Sneaker Con, and now his team might be sending him to Jake Paul’s next boxing match.
Over the weekend, Paul, the influencer and professional boxer, was interviewed by Jesse Watters on Fox News. The pair discussed his upcoming fight with Mike Tyson and whether Joe Biden or Trump would come out on top in a hypothetical match. At the end of the conversation, however, Paul offered Trump a seat outside the ring.
“Trump, if you’re watching this, this is an invite. I know you used to promote Tyson, so I’d love to have you at the fight,” Paul said. “Donny, pull up, we’ve got tickets for you.”
On Monday I asked the Trump campaign whether they’d take Paul up on his offer, and a top Trump adviser told me that the campaign is “seriously considering” attending the fight. When Paul announced his match with Tyson a few weeks ago, the video received more than 4 million views on YouTube, making it his most popular video so far this year. And while the match itself will likely bring in a massive audience, Paul’s more than 60 million followers across platforms would be the real trophy for the Trump campaign.
2024 is already the year of the election influencer. I wrote about Biden’s gaggle of influencers a few weeks ago, and it’s true—influencers are catching the attention of politicians and campaigns like never before. Paul is a great example: Last fall, the boxer met with Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and said that he was teaching him to use TikTok. Later that year, Vivek Ramaswamy was in the crowd at one of Paul’s fights. Paul stopped short of endorsing Ramaswamy, but offered to join him on the campaign trail ahead of the Iowa caucus (though bad weather got in the way).
“When we talk about political influencers, we tend to really focus on influencers who are inherently political. However, politicians don't just benefit from those kinds of influencers,” Jo Lukito, an assistant professor focused on political communications at University of Texas at Austin, told me. “The ideal is actually to get influencers who are not super political, right? Because you're able to get an audience that you normally wouldn't have access to.”
Team Trump might also struggle to reach its usual base this year, meaning they’ll need to rely on alternatives. Earlier this week, The Atlantic reported that traffic belonging to the top 10 conservative and right-wing news sites has gone down 40 percent since the last presidential election, in 2020. It was these outlets, like Breitbart, that leveraged the internet to elect Trump in 2016. Now that machine is breaking down.
“The mainstream media is dead. They’re dead. They just haven’t realized it yet,” a former Ramaswamy staffer told me at his caucus night party in January. “If you look at the types of voters that make up the America First movement, they get their news from alternative media. Fox News is just a very small sliver.” Paul, and other creators like him, could fill this void.
Trump’s team is realizing this. Before, right-wing media and Trump’s online fanatics together generated enough buzz that he didn’t need to build these relationships himself. But as the media landscape has changed, so must the campaign. Already last year, the former president appeared on the Nelk Boys’ Full Send podcast, where he was quizzed, of all things, on Ice Spice. He also hosted a dinner for conservative influencers. The fact that the campaign is considering joining forces with Paul marks the next step in their strategy.
It’s not just presidential candidates either. On Tuesday, NBC News reported that House Speaker Mike Johnson, who’s trying not to get fired by his own party, briefed popular conservative influencers and activists on his election integrity bill. Popular social media figures including LibsofTikTok, DC Draino, and End Wokeness were all briefed and, in turn, put out messages in support of the bill.
While Johnson’s briefing was an attempt to create his own viral moment, Trump attending Paul’s fight would be him seizing an opportunity that makes sense for his brand. Trump’s involvement in the bravado of men’s fighting sports has lasted decades. More than a decade ago, he famously participated in a Wrestlemania match with Vince McMahon. Recently, Trump’s been attending more UFC fights and chumming it up with Dana White.
Not only will Paul be hyping up this summer’s fight across his social media accounts, but Netflix will also be livestreaming the match, allowing it to reach the streaming platform’s more than 260 million users. Many digital consultants say political advertising on streaming apps like Netflix will be huge this year. Unlike with a New York Times article or an Instagram post, users are often glued to a movie or show, and some services can force their audiences to watch ads, depending on their subscription tier.
“If I were a political candidate, this would be the time where I'm recognizing Jake Paul has a uniquely large audience and would want to leverage that to benefit me in some way,” Lukito told me.
This is all to say that we live in a world where Jake Paul’s endorsement carries weight in politics. Social platforms are no longer prioritizing news content—they’re fixed on the creator economy. Influencers dominate these feeds, where a majority of US voters read the news, and we should expect more YouTube-style collabs like these, at least through November. Get ready. It’s going to be every day, bro.
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