#augh. ok idk well see

[jiggery-duggery]

how I look suggesting to my group partners that we do our bio presentation on vultures

[talkorsomething]

want to cut my hair again like you wouldn't believe. What are the possible consequences of going bald

[yoylechess]

i cat handle it that fucking movie screenshot makez me violent this movie releasez, there is going to be casualtiez i hate this so mcuh oh my god im so upset that there are probably so many talented artistz that have to make that instead of doing something inspired or original or anything else

[wickjump]

Not exactly hurt comfort but I am enjoying the idea that every time Cross reveals something about his past/childhood it slowly but surely makes the team angry. Like he happens to share a "funny story" or mention how he was treated and one by one the gang is horrified to the point where if xgaster actually showed up in the same au as them they would all be gunning for him immediately.

Also the stars showing up during this fight and like Dream: Nightmare stop this!! What are you doing to- Nightmare: (goops over and whispers something in Dream's ear) Dream: WHAT?? No fuck that (starts aiming his arrows at xgaster)

IVE SPOKEN ABOUT THIS SO MANY TIMES WITH FRIENDS/MUTUALS I AGREE SO MYCH HE HAS SO MANY TRAUMATIZING CHILDHOOD STORIES HE INTERNALLY NORMALIZED GOD. HE DOESNT REALIZE HOW BAD IT WAS AND THE REACTIONS HE GETS ARE UNNERVING. THANK YOU FOR THIS AND OTHER CROSS RELATED ASKS YOURE SO GOOD WITH THEM THEYRE MY FAVORITE

ok ya this is just plain whump warning for lotsa child abuse including physical. like beating the shit out of an 8 year old physical. also I’m so tired right now

chances are that’s not even the worst of it because you know his seven year old ass was told ‘don’t tell anyone about me beating you to near death’ and he still sticks to that. but he speaks about abuse he doesn’t even grasp counts as abuse.

withholding food. sleeping in the yard. eating food on the floor while the others sat at the dinner table as punishment (or to eat out of a dog bowl on the ground i had to do that once lol). as a kid still scared of the dark he was locked in dark rooms until he got over his fear (he’s still scared to this day but he won’t seek help because he doesn’t want to be punished again). cross touched something he wasn’t supposed to? put your hand on the burning hot stove for however many seconds that item was worth in G (maybe divided by 5/10), or until he cried.

cruel and unusual punishments were xgaster’s forte but he tells them like funny stories to the horror of literally everyone around him.

cross is not coping well with figuring out that no that’s not normal and no that’s fucked up. most of his scars are probably from xgaster (excluding the red one on his face obv). and when he delves into the traditional abuse it gets worse somehow?? anyway xgaster is on THE multiversal hitlist. star sanses and bad sanses all want his head on a wall. even ink because ink didn’t know about the abuse because xgaster never told him for obvious reasons and it’s not like cross was willing to share.

i think that once he starts talking about the abuse he can’t stop (same) and he’s just. slowly crying and eventually hyperventilating and oh he’s been holding onto that for SO long. and then he hates that he told people because he wasn’t supposed to and is scared that they’ll see him less or punish him for some reason or hate him now, but he isn’t expecting to be comforted after? wtf? he doesn’t grasp that saying ‘yeah i got in trouble at school so my dad beat me until i lost two of my baby teeth and got a temporary crack in my skull’ normally results in being hugged or something. like dude you were 8 wtf. and he’s so scared but he just wants to feel safe AUGH HE MAKES MY HEART HURT. like dude, he almost beat papyrus at a time he was so young he had to use a step-stool to reach the sink to brush his teeth :( dude…

anyway ya cross is me fr (the burning hand stove happened once/twice to me actually idk i was like 5 lol. my grandfather is not the best man) and he deserves to go through hell on earth and be tortured in his childhood i think. oh and experience comfort or whatever after idk. kross maybe because their dynamic is ‘my childhood was ruined’ x ‘my adulthood was ruined’ and i think that’s sweet. or mtt + cross poly with nightmare as the outlier wondering why they’re so affectionate all of a sudden (he’s aroace…)

BUT THATS SELF INDULGENT LMAO what really matters is how much we torture the poor lad that is cross 🥰

also make him trans because abuse isn’t enough he needs extreme dysphoria all of the time. xgaster isn’t transphobic btw this is independent from everything else

[melissa-titanium]

HELLOOO CAN I TALK TO YOU ABT DOLL

do you think that like, her being at school let her have some escape from her home and her revenge plans, like in this picture she is smiling and it looks way more like a happy smile than here

SHE IS HAPPY TO GET HER REVENGE, BUT SHE LOOKS SO TIRED, EVEN HER LAUGH IS TIRED

its like shes getting worse from the kills, in her house there was enough oil for her to not kill any other drones, yet her plan had to work, but it didnt, and only let her feeling more guilty

EVERYONE IS ALLOWED TO SEND ME SHIT ABOUT DOLL ALWAYS AT ANY TIME EVER FOREVER AND EVER. I LITERALLY NEED HER. SHES SO FUCKING COOL. BUT OMG HI YES HOLD ON

thats such an interesting take on pilot doll omg HI???? YES I CAN TOTALLY SEE THIS CONSIDERING WE DONT SEE DOLL IN SCHOOL OUTSIDE OF THE PILOT. HIIII YES OMG ok ok.

i havent actually thought this much about this. i personally think her in the pilot vs her in promening was like. not really a Whole big difference but like...the fact that lizzy now has access to v set her off. shes always been a little unsettling, a little fucking deranged but maybe something happened between ep 1 and 3 thatr was like. lizzy came to her like... hey, one of the disassembly drones came by my bunk the other day. was this the one? (shows doll a pic) and doll just FUcking Loses it . i think she was actively vengeful during the pilot too but YES like ur saying its almost a .grounding thing. everyone here is real and alive. and then at the end of the day she has to go back and face dozens upon dozens upon dozens of corpses that are there because of HER and its liike. idk i imagine shes 18-22 . shes young as hell. and that FUCKS WITH YOU. this is doll to me:

they know damn well her parents are dead but she's just under being eerie enough that no one really suspects her for anything going on. she's relatively normal around lizzy & not aggressive but not outgoing with other students. like to everyone, shes just a normal kid who lost her parents. plenty of kids have lost their parents, considering the murder drones lurking *right outside the bunker.*

i think she would get tired. yeah. she held onto the all consuming debilitating hatred for these genocidal war machines that killed her parents and countless others. then heartbeat happens, and suddenly people are Okay with them??? that would fucking set her OFF. so long, so fucking long shes been holding onto her anger and not being able to do anything about it . BUT NOW SHE CAN. ough ok but then theres those conflicting feelings bcos of uzi. u can see in promening she has SOME sense of... for lack of a better word, humanity in how she treats uzi (hell even tossing lizzy out of the way when she started killing people.) i think she picks and choses who she cares about and then is usually consistent in how she treats them. basically; dont get on her bad side. she's conflicted at the end of ep3 after learning uzi has the solver; but uzi is siding with the murder drones and thats HER loss for being SCHTUPIDDDDDDDD!!!! but then again, she finally has someone who understands what shes going through... but also AUGH..! i have to kill v i HAVE to kill v ive gotten so far i cant give up now FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! i think there would be so much of her being conflicted between uzi knows what i feel. but also uzi is siding with the bitch who killed my fucking parents. i think she would just spiral and spiral until dead end comes along and she has a decision to make. and she makes it. and uzi is Fucked and v is Fucked and n and tessa are FUCKEd AND OK TYHIS IS GETTING LONG IM DONE

doll jumpscare

[septembermonologues]

everyday I think about how dorian constantly asked if things were ok with orym or if things were what orym wanted to do or how much dorian checked up on orym in the beginning of C3 and JUST. AUGH. I don't want to assume how dorian would have been like if he had stayed, maybe he would be swept up with everything as well. maybe as someone who doesn't feel comfortable talking about himself he would give orym space. or maybe orym hides his feelings well and dorian wouldn't even notice BUT SOMETHING. SOMETHING!!! tells me that there would be moments where dorian would check in with orym more often and and AHHHHHHHHH GET THEM BACK TOGETHER PLEASE CR PLEASE

anon i think i would have a heart attack if i had to see the date that you sent this because it has been months and also dorian is fully back. however. my excuse is that you got me working on a compilation i was thinking about making anyway and because im perfectly content with crumbs its 9 minutes long only two episodes of exu in so who's to say if i'll ever actually get anywhere with it.

BUT. to your point hopefully. i'm thinking about how in episode ONE of exu dorian was really kind of the only one who didn't shrug off orym's hesitation about stealing something for poska and even tried to find another option that he would have been more comfortable with. to me even if there's not a 'real' heart-to-heart dorian is right there to give orym actual space to air out his frustration/hesitation without like. idk. talking over him or it going in one ear and out the other so he has to constantly repeat himself.

[agentcalypso]

my (mostly) coherent thoughts on the wisdom saga

written during first listen/the livestream this time bc i have shit to do tmrw so forgive me if i miss some stuff (will prob do a part 2 once i have a spare hour or so)

(also spoilers)

𓅓 LEGENDARY 𓅓

first off there were over 100k ppl in the livestream by the time the saga started which i think is a record so good job winions

MICO's voice fits telemachus SO well its not even funny

and like he also has a bit of jorge's voice in him and it's just. augh /pos

the L-L-L-L-Legendary :D

ok but you can hear his voice get just the tiniest bit softer when he starts talking abt the suitors/penelope

ARGOS :DDDDDDDD

MAN OF THE HOUSE

also the animatics are SO GOOD

ANTINOUS YOU BITCH /POS

"WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT CHAMP?" LMAOOO

12/10

𓅓 LITTLE WOLF 𓅓

THE ART??? HELLO??????

i hate antinous /pos

but also his voice is sooooooooooo good

this. this is just street fighter (/pos)

ATHENA WITH THE QUICK THOUGHT

"Whoa, this is so sick!" i love him <3

god teagan sounds sooooooooo good

i did not expect him to lose but it makes sense so im not complaining

10/10

𓅓 WE'LL BE FINE 𓅓

athena looks so pretty in the art omg

athena opening up? holy shit

"my time with you's been splendid, the best day of my life" telemachus you got beatne to a pulp are you okay

i like the new lyrics for telemachus' part better tbh

TELEMACHUS FALLING THROUGH HER LMAO

9/10

𓅓 LOVE IN PARADISE 𓅓

THE TIME DIIIIIIIIIVE

gigi hitting HARD with the animatics again

CALYPSO'S FACE WHEN HE TALKS ABT PENELOPE LMAO

also calypso's animation is so flowy i love it

"last i checked goddesses can't die ^_^"

it was at this point the livestream died for "policy violations" i think youtube just hates us

pov: you are in the epic the musical discord at 11:44 p.m. EST

THE OG STREAM WENT FROM 110K TO 4.6K IN LIKE THREE MINUTES LMAO

i came into the new stream to jorge cackling like mad and i think that sums up the general energy of my reaction to this whole saga pretty well

the glowy effects on her are so cooooool

damn poor ody :(

fuck you jorge /pos

"i have to see her" vs. "he needs my help" pick you poison

10/10 -1 point for youtube being a little shit /neg

𓅓 GOD GAMES 𓅓

luke. just luke

wolfy animatic :D

the harp strings are so fun

love hephaestus' animation omg

also hephaestus being voiced by jorge's dad is so cool :D

aphrodite. that's it that's the post <3

i still maintain that you can do the camp rock march to ares' part idc

ATHENA DANCING LMAO

BEAST MODE ZEUS HOLY S H I T THE GROWL

"is she dead?!" i love him but yea there's a reason ares isn't the smart war god

THE FLASHBACK??????? HELLO???????? I WILL BE THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS

OH SHIT ARES WAS RIGHT

12/10

in conclusion idk what kind of crack got put in this saga specifically but consider me hooked

[slaingelo]

pride headcanons and boy do I have a fuckin lot so take your pic ig, (oh yea they’re all transmasc hcs ofc so I’ll just list it)

transmasc Ruto, Botw paya and Zelda, Cia

oh also Botw Zelda and Link are Transmasc for Transmasc, they are very gay and very in love

feel free to draw which one you wanna or not one at all you don’t have to answer this!

this might've made me go a bit insane ok. first thoughts upon seeing this; LACE UP BINDERS T4T BOTW ZELINK HELPING EACH OTHER LACE THEM UP PROPERLY. gotta draw that, might come back to do those other ones though bc boy do I have thoughts about those also !

second thoughts. holy Fucking shit this gives me an excuse to go off about trans masc zelda and how inherently interesting that can be to the entire narrative. and then realizing how amazingly it could mesh with botw zelda's story specifically into a queer retelling.

THANKS ANON THIS ALONE MADE ME ACTUALLY LIKE BOTW ZELINK WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME

zelda's role is to take up the powers of hylia. zelda has always been a girl, a woman. of course all of them would be. hylia is a goddess. the first zelda was hylia's personal vessel.

botw zelda [ going to call him zel here on out in this post for clarity lol ] would have to come to terms with how his feelings don't align with his self-perceived role. at first, he thinks his yearning to be a boy is more to do with hating his responsibilities. i think his relationship with both his gender and his role in destiny is an incredible complicated one because of all of this.

meeting link, the other destined one, probably really fucks him up more. link being a trans boy himself, on a surface level, one might think would bring zel relief; someone like him, so close to him. but it does the opposite. link has always been a boy. this link, being assigned female at birth, is a boy as well. to zel, this reaffirms his thoughts that destiny has locked their genders into place.

in general, i don't think transphobia is a huge thing in the loz universe. it's like, a very niche kind of bigotry thankfully. it's MY childhood fantasy games and i get to mostly poof it out. i think the big exception to this would be those associated with destiny, prophecies, and of course, the reincarnation cycle.

zel is pressured to not only be a good daughter and princess, but to take on the powers that should be blessed to him by the goddess herself. everything just drives him further into hating everything, including link early on.

a big part of zel being able to actually unlock his powers would be both what i think happens in game [ desperation to protect ] as well as acceptance of himself. zel's inner turmoil over his own identity, where his duty as holder of the triforce of wisdom starts and right to be himself ends.

of course, there's no actual reason for the holder of wisdom to be a woman; as there is none for the holder of courage or power to be a man. it just so happens that it tends to be like that.

i think a retelling like this could add such a strong layer onto zel's character arc. it's so good. augh. thank yuo i hope any of this is somewhat coherent. they kiss in the end

btw i think generally trans masc zeldas go for the name sheik [ thank you OOT sheik you walked so the other tran masc zeldas could run ] but botw zelda specifically would take the scientific name of like, a small critter or plant, and alter it so it sounds kind of like a hylian name. OR just go by 'zel'. or both ! idk.

[kosmicdream]

im confident enough to post FFAK, which has anal prolapse, but i dont post the true drama....... my opinions about manga. *dramatic music* sometimes i kinda want to do some reviews.. its mostly me complaining.. it makes me sound so bitter like "do you like anything kosmic!" and..yes ! i do!!! okay!! i like a lot of things. once in a while, i dip my toes into a popular series to try to see if we are a good fit. Series like: Beastars, Dorohedoro, Dungeon meshi,ect.. and i kind. well. I dont like any of them LMAO. I mean, Ok, i actually really was into Beastars for a time, but after the fight with the bear guy (its been a few years sorry) and that story arc concluded.. it just spiraled to laughable levels and did not recover. I was genuinely laughing at it at times bc it kind of felt like a desperate scramble with the like. loopholes and power upgrades.. But I was invested for a time, it had a charm to me! I also loved the art and im curious about the authors next series about santa (partly because i too, am writing a story about santa). Dorohedoro has a great visual style, fun characters, i enjoyed reading but it also kinda didnt ...land for me beyond that, which is a shame. I feel like it is a series that "should" have clicked with me. And its like, not offensive to me but.. I'll forget that ive read the whole thing. I like STUFF in it. but thats not enough for me anymore. If i had read it when i was younger tho, it might have been a diff story. idk. My most unpopular opinion of all is that... I hated Dungeon Meshi.. Sure its ..pretty! cute designs. but i found it SO painfully boring and it actually was a struggle to finish. in the end, it felt like a waste of time.. SHOCKING take i know. That is the darling of everyones heart and i like, understand WHY its popular. .. but for me, i was not fed by anything. i am unfed and starved and going to eat elsewhere oh, and i.. as a person who has read a lot of fighting mangas.. I have tried to read chainsaw man, but i dont know if I can. I did finish Fire Punch. I'm surprised to say: i kinda liked it but it took a long time to force myself to read thru it. I honestly hated many aspects of Fujimoto's storytelling/character acting that i didn't think my opinion on it would change, but I'm a little more open to it now. I dont think i could ever super be into it or whatever, but i did find genuine enjoyment in aspects of fire punch. I did not really like look back. I haven't read his other one shot(s)? Where am i going with all this..I guess im giving some unrequested reviews after all...oops... a lot of this is spurred by how houseki no kuni is one of my most fav series, not only visually/characters/story/ect.. but i cant lie.... the ending... was kind of a flop for me... gorgeous and poetic ig sure but.. AUGH! it isnt what i wanted. maybe it'll be one of those "it'll grow on me" endings but thats mostly me having to go thru the 5 stages of personal grief and gaslight myself into it, but as the like actual honest first-reaction feeling it kinda lost me. I think it did not work when i felt the confrontation btwn phos/cinnabar wasn't the one i wanted to see. i will say tho, while im dissapointed, its not like a DEEP one or anything. I know its a miracle to even get to an ending.. i guess my take away feeling from it was like "everything fit together too well, too planned" but didnt feel planned, emotionally. I wasn't sold on it. Anyway, im here to speak my truth and my hot takes which, i honestly dont even want to have that one about HnK but its the real feeling i have for it.. Once again Utena's ending just has made all these other issues i have with various stories more obvious LOL

[lakesbian]

what are all the non taylor related relationships between the undersiders that we dont get to see much of like in your mind palace (eg brian and lisa, rachel and alec)

see this is a complicated quastion that the answer to depends on what point in worm we're talking about but for the point i'm currently at/around in worm reread it's Agonizing to witness how brian is genuinely the team's leader, lisa literally imagines him telling her 2 Focus On The Important Parts in her head during the leviathan fight to steady herself--but also she has a gun to her head, and she can't tell any of them about it, and she is constantly having to manipulate brian into making certain decisions (lest all of them but especially her be fucked) while appearing like she's Not doing that. little details like her asking brian what they should do next, brian going "uhh idk," and then lisa Immediately going "ok well i think we should take taylor back to the loft :)" (<- thing she clearly already had in mind but didn't suggest without cursorily asking brian first) are soo. augh. her automatically smiling (<- girl who is sof ucked reflex) when brian starts listing really rational reasons not to go to the bank robbery that she Has to convince them to go along w/ 2 keep coil happy. etc. and he Doesn't Know....he Doesn't Know that she is a girl who is so fucked. coworkers/work friends wherein the dynamic of "uugh and some people (lisa) think they know everything" "i Do know everything :^)" are Agonizing (good) to witness. as for rachel and alec i think they have a nice arrangement going where he doesnt fuck with her and she doesnt rip his spleen out and use it to play fetch with her dogs 👍he understands that she is also a reject and this is why he includes her alongside him + aisha on his list of ppl who should turn traitor and form the othersiders when he's making that joke, but he also understands that they are different types of rejects and would not get along so hot as friends. and then she ends up becoming close to taylor and leaving the reject club a party of two (him + aishie)

also my favorite little rare undersider dynamic is lisa/aisha where lisa is so so good and regular at literally just. identifying the simple things she wants and pointing her towards them (e.g. when shes bored during arc 10 instead of trying to control/scold her like brian does lisa just points her to an Activity and then shes chill). whereas brian is control freaking it up and possibly in his head grumbling about lisa having an easier time of managing aisha than he does

[aroace-poly-show]

its probably not a song that hw would cover sound wise perhaps but. inochi ni kirawarete iru's lyrics. (specifically thinking ruinene here)

"i couldn't care a bit if i died, but i'd be pretty sad if the people around me did / i suppose it’s some kind of ego; that goes “because I just wouldn’t like it” and "i couldn't care a bit if i died, But I’m wanted alive by the people around me"

"Are these wounds really ok to be expressed with words like “I’m lonely”

"If we’re going to end up sad and if that’s fine, then you gotta laugh alone forever"

"I don’t need dreams or even a tomorrow, If you’ll have lived on then that’s all I need. Yeah… That’s actually what I want to sing about."

"Killing, struggling, laughing, shouldering it all, living, living, living, living-- just live."

idk just something about the vibe of. our self worth is at rock bottom but i care about you so let's just keep living and living and living on

AWAWAWAWAWA YEAH YEAH ITS SO. ITS SO HW RUINENE….sobs…

i’m gonna take this opportunity to give some of my thoughts on the song judas by abuse and hw. i can make any song about the character. /ref

well. it’s more of a rui song in general ( staring at the chorus lyrics) but i’m on that hw brainrot and thought too hard about it and now it’s permanently connected to hw in my head. hear me out.

“MARCH! Someone called you a "walking" creature. MARCH! Someone called you a "lamenting" creature” rui. hw rui as well of course. but yeah. feel like its self explanatory.

“Good morning, it's no problem if you cry, shout Or laugh. Look, your facial expression in this photo looks funny” hear me out i have a very specific visual in my head featuring hw ruinene for this like cause like they. they have this wall between them. but they still tease each other just like this like everything’s the same like they aren’t keeping themselves closed off from the other and. augh. do you see my vision.

“I want to change, I want to change myself! Please, change my life!” hw. they all. they all have Something about them that they so desperately want to change. they want things to be different. so fucking bad. they all take that opportunity to try again and to change in main story. yknow. am i making sense.

“MARCH! Someone called you a "deciding" creature MARCH! You are a "killing" creature” rui again. at its core this is a rui song to me <3

"I don't need it, it doesn't feel good" hw excluding tsukasa lying like they don’t still love shows with all their heart

“My need for attention is unbearable” i still need to get around to do his post but TSUKASA. TSUKASA. need i say more.

“I admit, that I will never change, You can only change, what can be changed” mmmmmmmmm. rui rui rui rui and his belief and acceptance that he’ll always be that weirdo kid who’s never trusted but also emu and her feelings about her childishness and aughhhhhhh

“That's why, our feelings/Make the world more beautiful?” throws up and dies. hwcore fucking line.

“MARCH! Someone called you a "walking" creature. MARCH! Someone called you a "lamenting" creature. MARCH! Someone called you a "deciding" creature. March on, you continue to live.” RUI AGAIN BUT THAT LAST FUCKKNG LINE. march on you continue to live. hw entirely. hello. is anyone out there. are you hearing me.

[tealcaste]

so new cookie run update is rlly cool.... i noticed the silly little heart thingies that the new update has and decided. to give lico onr of then and. man.

also he has. a diff quote in his aberrant conjurer costume

i kinda find it. interesting in his regular outfit he's way. more declining of the giftcompared to his aberrant conjurer one?? if that makes sense?? idk i just.

!

uhh cutoff is more rambling i think

(has not been proofeead so it may. just be a mess AUGH)

ok this is going to be my. view but feel free tobsyare ur view on this cuz. idk i like listening to other people's interperetation :3

personally him in the 1st image does. sort of make sense for him?? considering how when he was younger he didnt get a lot of recognition and stuff so he was so deprived of recognition to the point he just. startef to like decline any gifts given to him?? orlike he gives it to his licorice servants (UNLESS if its the gifts that he likes then hell accept it ofc dur to the diff dialouge but were going on for this general-gift wise)

so personally i think this also comes to affection as well. sort of. cuz if he never had any recognition then its logical that he never recieved any affection or care whilst groeing up too so. he declines it cuz hes. not used to it and also cuz i feel like. he doesn't want to recieve affection of any sorts?? if i recall correctly from what i remember abt his dialogue he tends to say how he can do everything by himself, and how "he doesn't need friends". and stuff like that. (the i dont need friends part was mentioned in the cookie debate event)

ANWYAYS before i lose focus on what i was going on abt originally due to his mindset usually making him believe he doesnt need anyone else heavilt affects his view of affection?? sort of?? i think he. tends to see it as a useless thing, and that he doesn't need it at all, considering how he practically grew up with.. ANY. so it makes sense for lico to push away any affection or like. gifts and stuff and aaaAAAAAA

i also believe that he also pushes it all away is cuz hes. not used to it?? like at all?? so he doesn't rlly know how to react to receiving it at alland his mindset of him needing no one just. plays a part possibly ok this probably doesnt make sense fUVK

if i repeated stuff like millions of tine we dont talk abt that im half alseep whilst weiting this ok broken heart emoji

i would write more abt this but my motivation has been down the drain for WEEKS so i apologize for not rlly having any lico rambling essays recently AUGH

[alligaytorswamp]

i've seen few posts of kaeya and childe together on ur blog. And i'm kinda curious on why ur fascinated by this ship

"few posts"?? 😭

asdjhkajlhdjjshslkda sorry it's just this ship takes up too much of my personality to be just "few posts of kaeya and childe together" 😭😭😭

ERM ANYWAYS... AHHAHAJDSKASD

uhhh 1. i am not the guy to give good explanations for any ship im crazy about 2. bad memory and inability to talk eloquently be damned

i'd say that first of all they just *feel* right. which is -naturally- subjective as shit i just can see them interact, i can see the potential in their dynamic, kinda like... they have enough in common but also plenty of stuff they would have different opinions on. and all of it matches nicely where it's not "people who wouldnt get along due to crazy differences in morals and worldviews", it's more like "compatible people, whose differences can actually help them improve themselves"

uhhh ofc the whole abyss thing, kaeya being part of tartaglia's trial, hydro+cryo swag, them both being excellent big bros, etc etc (i probably am forgetting smth important) all of which helps me pretend they are real and canon

idk really how to explain it, it's just very real to me, and most of it i can only astral project into ur brain through vivid hallucinations i have about their interactions

and if i had to talk about my *personal* taste and why chaeya hits so hard, well it's just my fav "trope", where a character i don't care that much about (tartaglia) is simping HARD for the character a love (kaeya) LMAO i loveee seeing love fucking up imaginary people ok, AND my fav gets to receive all the attention teehee ^_^ (all of this is naturally kind of a joke, and only the surface level of what i think or i like about this ship)

maybe i could come up with more "reasons" .. errr.. tartaglia is crazy, but kaeya could handle that easily and make him better AND worse their banter would be immaculate, like u know they could have annoying fake conversations about weather and work with vague jabs and threats and somehow it's them flirting, but then also!! them talking fr?? being all fucking honest??? bruh. a man dedicated to his country and a man who had to question where he even belongs? wOooOOoOOw... angsty! deep! fascinating! now also take tartaglia's loyalty/dedication and throw all of it at kaeya? wow. have anyone ever gone crazy for kaeya like tartaglia could?? i need that and i think kaeya deserves that both are good with kids.... augh.... like consider all the 'political' tension there may be and them being on guard since this other guy lowkey highkey could be an enemy and then they both interact with klee. and like. WOW. no way this guy suddenly showing so much of his sweet and caring side?? 2094893 injured and 1 dead (it's me) ohhh they have such hardcore slowburn potential too... bc DENIAL ... and they shouldnt even like each other, but when they talk the sparks are fucking speeding thru and the flirting happens so naturally and oopsy daisy they are now casually writing each other letters totally insisting that all of it is to get some secret information out of the other but both long forgotten what that secret info even was AAAA ah.. there is just so much............... i could have written many novels of just my incoherent thoughts about them 😔

[mochiwrites]

Grian and Mumbo didn’t know Tubbo very well, but his death still hits them.

NUH UH. NUH UHHH. NO. NUH UH. HES NOT. HE CANT BE. WE DIDNT SEE HIS CORPSE. EVERYONE KNOWS THEYRE NOT REALLY DEAD UNTIL THEYRE SEEN DEAD, AND EVEN THEN THERES A CHANCE. I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS LINE AS REAL.

Grian saw his loneliness, his pain. He knows that’s real. 

and here we have grian being the fraying string tying the three tentatively together. thats so grian of him.

It’s only for a second before his knuckles make contact with Scar’s cheek, stinging his hand. 

that was SO satisfying. i know scars going through hell right now and has been for a while but that was SO SATISTFYING. grians anger is so satisfying. everything about their rage and grief and hurt is so real i love it

He latches onto that gut feeling he had earlier, and he knows which side Scar’s truly on now.

grian really embodies the best parts of humanity doesnt he? hes a million times better a man than me. how hes capable of being so.. so grian will never fail to amaze me.

“But I punched you, so I’d call us even for right now.” 

i really doubt thats how it works but sure thing buddy.

“Something’s inside it,”

yk what would be the coolest thing ever? if tubbo's alive and in that box and turns out hes been known about scar's whole fae magic thing and tubbos fine and alive and ALIVE AND ALIVE and scar's changed through his supposed death and TUBBOS ALIVE AND

Tubbo smells of smoke, and he could certainly use a shower, but he’s alive, and Scar weeps tears of joy.

HA. HAHAHA. HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HA. HA HA HA. HA. YOU TRIED TO FOOL US YOU EVIL AUTHOR. BUT YOU COULDNT FOOL ME. I SAW THROUGH YOUR CURSED TRAPS LIKE THEY WERE A CLEAR PANE OF GLASS. HA. IM EXTREMELY HAPPY RIGHT NOW. SOMETHING BAD BETTER NOT HAPPEN OR I WILL CRY AGAIN.

He can only hope. 

OF COURSE HE CAN HES GRIAN!!!!! AHHHHUFHDHNSKFHSJDJSHSHDHDJWHDBD. ok. okokok. my playlist has done some INSANE work here because it played immortal by mitski when scar found the fire and its playing battle cries by the amazing devil and if those arent the perfect songs for those scenes idk what are

ARC TWO IS OVER!! AAAAAAAAAAAA im so SCARED but so EXCITED AJHHFIDGHSJFHDJHEJDJAJRBDHWH

you, mochi, are an absolute menace. i dont feel this much, ever. punch my face and call me scar because im feeling so many things right now.

I think I’ve mentioned it before but !!!! getting to write grian punching scar, and him getting angry with scar, was SO cathartic and satisfying. it’s finally out in the open and there and AUGH. grian 100% deserved to express that anger toward scar and I fully intended to let it happen

but then it was also soooo important that he (along with us, the readers) acknowledge the fact that scar is also a victim in this. did he do bad things? absolutely. but his hand was forced. and grian seeing that needed to be there

and :D I’m really pleased with how arc 2 wrapped up hehe. I’m glad it felt satisfying <3

[diodellet]

hiya dio!! tossing in 3 (honkai star rail? 👀), 5, and 15!!

hiya ian! thanks for shooting me an ask!!

3.) Go to the [honkai star rail] tag and reblog some art you like that has under 100 notes

aight i gotchu oomfie, ill search for stuff to queue up 😤😤

5.) What genre do you like reading the best?

angst and hurt/comfort 🔛🔝!!!

it's painful, it's good, and it makes emotional processing so much easier and less burdensome because the difficulty goes into finding an okay sentence and stringing together ok-ish dialogue (but at least those can be solved with a banger ass playlist, ykw?)

augh special mention to one of my formative twst fics i love that grim has such a big role in this

15.) Worst fanfic tropes ever?

NOO!!!! U CANT MAKE ME SAY BAD THINGS ABT FANFIC!!! ALL FANFIC IS GOOD WHEN IT IS MADE WITH HEART!!!

(did i say bridal carry? ill just say it again for funsies HAHAHA i dont like bridal carries, it doesn't spark any joy, please just carry me like this🤧👇👇)

i'm usually really open-minded with reading fanfics... so aside from the obvious fanfic writing sins (using generative AI, plagiarism, not doing enough careful research for sensitive topics) OH WAIT--

(this is probably specific to genshin/hyv) but i Reaaaaally don't like it when fandom infantilizes characters that use the teenage model. like, there is such a thing as short adults! (me. i am one of them!) one time i saw someone say that lynette was probably a year younger than lyney and i was confused bcs aren't they twins??? like, are we forgetting that lynette was the primary "errand-goer" for the house of hearth upon getting her vision? girlie's probably seen more shit than lyney did.

^^semi-related to infantilizing characters, i dont like how some obm fics treat luke as a literal toddler. like, yes he's immature but he's got a good head on his shoulders and even if he's a low-ranked angel he probably has sm powers that he can make use of to protect MC. and i esp see how he gets left out even in gen/platonic fics and hcs. smtimes i feel compelled to look at the game's shitty pop quiz events for fanfic fuel (i mean, the luke tag has more ppl saying not to sexualize him than actual writing and that bugs me ://)

There used to be this really good obm fanfic (Nightmare by StarsEncrusted) and it had a plot point of helping luke get his wings, but it++the author's orig account got deleted from ao3. thankfully some fans had the foresight to archive it, so heres a wayback link to the fic and the accompanying side stories

i guess to expound more on my aversion to marriage in fanfic, it icks me when the characterization stops feeling like the characters themselves and the fic starts feeling heteronormative (also sometimes the writing comes across as if the marriage/childbirth "fixes" all those issues, which, it doesn't) and, well, i already kind of deal with the idea of "getting settled down" shoved in my face. it's really not for me. but i do understand why it's comforting to people, smtimes i can indulge in reading in it. but on a bad day, nah, i can't.

anyway, also special shout out to chat fics, they can be fun but idk it reads to me as a way to regurgitate overused incorrect quotes. (please some vines need to be laid to rest. also, can we stop quoting that one copaganda show oh my god)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated fic and art)

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 2 Pt. 1

Miscellaneous stupid little thoughts for this volume again! Yippee!

...dude kills people with a saxophone. Okay then. Sure. I will incorporate this into my belief system.

This guy actually tried to warn them... the Gung-Ho Guns are actually really interesting. I hope to see some expansion on their individual motives.

LEGATO WTF. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.

I swear he gets cuter in every volume. Look at him.

I would love to know where the GHG get their outfits from... are they like. Coordinating? Is leather in style? Ok, really though, I'm fascinated by the way Knives has... well... knives (or maybe spears?) that almost look like they are piercing his neck, and a big one that looks like it runs straight through his chest. Pointy bits to keep people away from his vulnerable throat and heart, I suppose? A mask to cover his face? Idk. His outfit is certainly a look.

"I just can't catch a break," Midvalley says, in what is a very normal reaction to being forcibly contorted in half on the floor.

They are such idiots together. Bless.

You walk up to someone, he tries to kill you with a sword then tells you he and his beleaguered assassin coworkers are there to cause you eternal suffering. Wdyd?

Hm. That's called sunk cost fallacy, my dude. (Also probably has a bit to do with maintaining honour or pride associated with sword technique... maybe.) Hey have you noticed that the assassins here tend to have one technique they've spent a lifetime mastering and then as soon as Vash manages to counter it that's... just kind of it for them? Monev spent 20 years training and then was nearly killed and just... stopped. EG Mine got his weird hamster ball destroyed and was basically useless after that. Dominique's trick was discovered and she chose to die by jumping rather than wait to be killed. And here, Rai-Dei sees his technique has been bested and immediately abandons his honour to try and stab Vash in the back. I need to take a closer look at this as I'm reading about the rest of them.

Yayyy girls! I love them.

I really appreciate Jessie btw. She sees that Meryl and Milly consider Vash a friend, and despite the fact that all she would've heard of him are the July and Fifth Moon incidents and rumours about his dangerousness, she decides purely based on how much the girls are excited to see him again that he's probably not a bad guy at all and she wouldn't mind meeting him. It's just nice to see random people in this world (that we've been shown over and over again is extremely inhospitable) giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Wolfwood's nightmare sequence. painpainpainpainpain

Vash concussion arc. Lol. (Also I have a lot of thoughts about the theme of protecting one's home that's coming up here... but more on that later)

AUGH???

"The models were dissected while alive" HOLY FUCK. WHAT. EVEN THE BABY? WHAT THE FUCK

The fact that Rai-Dei couldn't feel a single trace of death when challenging Vash but now both Leonof and Wolfwood are terrified because Vash is literally radiating death and pain at the loss of these people. Something something suppressing the force and overwhelm of his loss, which he's carried around inside him for such an inhumanly long time that it is literally overpowering and incomprehensibly terrifying. Something something he cares so much about his family and so very little for himself. Ha. I feel so normal about this.

Well, this was cheery.

If you're wondering why I said hardly anything about Wolfwood here... stay tuned. There will be a part two. :)