#atleast i know i have good taste bc theyre all out of my league!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sardonicsergeant · 5 years ago

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Me: Haha I'm not depressed, I only think about suicide every week or so and I can go outside without this looming sense of dread, I might even have a semi normal conversation with a stranger too!

Also me: *can't hold a conversation with my own cousins or respond to any texts(friends or family), can't get a job, is a year behind on podcasts which only require semi listening*

#sardonic speeches #its.... progress??#this is why you dont listen to podcasts w people #whatever i just listened to mbmbam w my dad not adventure zone #and im more behind in taz #lmao is it considered agoraphobia if youre not really scared but like... you get stressed enough to cause physical illness nd like #theres just a feeling of 'i shouldnt be here! i dont belong! this isnt right!' just building in my whole body but esp my torso and back of #my head...... just asking for a friend #like.... youd think after dealing with this.... as long as i can remember id be more suited to dealing with it...#like all the doctors all the meds all the time spent thinking about myself and how to be better and im 1000x worse than when i started #anyways i can tell im thinking in a bad way bc i can tell a delusions coming on just like when i freak out about cameras #idk as long as im able to convince myself that it sounds like the plot of a sci fi whatever and im not that important/special i should be o #but i mean when i thought someone was living in our attic or smthn i knew it wasnt possible then either but like.... i couldnt sleep #atleast im not getting too too down about the job thing tho bc like... i cant even take the trash out most nights...#i just want to be normal and i would really like a relationship like at all ever sometime #atleast i know i have good taste bc theyre all out of my league!!#sometimes im like... i dont have a mental illness!! but then i interact with the outside world in any sort of meaningful way #and my head just.... fuckin breaks man and im fucking trapped and i dont know what to do/say or how and when i do i get the shittiest looks #idk whatever in other gr9 news its confirmed that the one local ish band is getting back together

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