#atlas being this amazing source to learn how to live

[northerngoshawk]

3, 18, and 29 for ao3 wrapped!

thanks for the ask choco!

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

would it be cheating if i had a series i'm proud of? lol

to date, i would consider my Katara-centric series i don't know who i am (but i won't stop trying) my magnum opus. it is my pride and joy in fandom, and honestly i don't think i could ever top this masterpiece of a series lol. i feel like the central themes of colonialism, assimilation, and cultural genocide are themes that aren't really explored in the atla fandom as a whole, and as self-deprecating i am about my fics, i really do think those themes shone through in my series.

i am especially proud of the first fic in the series, teach me how to live my life (because I can't remember how). it was a very emotionally charged fic that was written at the right time with the right feelings, and of the few things i did purposefully in that fic, i'm proud of the cyclical structure, how it began with Katara listening to stories from the SWT myths from her mother and ended with her listening to the few myths Aang remembers from Gyatso's telling him. I'm just really amazed at how well it turned out, and honestly it would be very, very hard for me to top this fic.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Hakoda. most definitely Hakoda. i wrote him for these sleepless nights we spend (waiting to come home), my very recent Hakoda adopts Aang fic I wrote for @itsmoonpeaches. and boyyyyy that was a doozy.

i think part of the reason is that i never really thought about Hakoda much as a character, considering we don’t really get to meet meet him until end of Book 2, and even then, we only see him a few times afterwards. another part of it might be that Hakoda isn’t as relatable to me as the Gaang (aka Aang lol) so as a result, i had a more difficult time slipping into his mind.

when i sat down to write this fic, i had to think a lot about Hakoda’s grief and how the war affected him. i wanted his grief to entwine with Aang’s as the basis for why he chooses to adopt Aang into his family, because both of them have lost too much to the war (but really, they all have), and in that loss, they find each other and pick up what’s left to keep going. i drew heavily from other sources to make sure i was able to characterize him properly, including two of peaches’s fics, which were Mark of the Living and Snow Drifts, which i highly, highly recommend to anyone who wants Hakoda-centric works.

it was definitely a rough start, getting this fic off the ground, and it didn’t come as naturally to me as my other fics did. i would say i’m relatively satisfied with how the end product turned out, however, and i really do think we need more Hakoda-centric works in fandom that deals with his loss and grief but also hope and rebirth😌

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

this is the final passage of my platonic zukaang fic dreamless dreams!

That night, he dreams of life.

He dreams of a grassy hill, under the shade of a tree, where he and his friends are laughing as they picnic. He dreams of Aang's brilliant smile, of Katara's laughing face, of Sokka's quips and Toph's crude retorts and Mai's slight smile. He dreams of kids being kids and learning what it means to live.

And then he dreams of towering temples that glisten a brilliant white in the midday sun. He dreams of children in Air Nomad clothing running around the courtyards, laughing as they play airball or ride air scooters. He dreams of flying bison and winged lemurs that circle around the temples, of airbenders gliding alongside them.

Every night, he dreams, and he dreams of hope.

i’m just really proud of this passage because it circles back to the beginning of the fic, when Zuko dreams of his blood family and the genocide of the Air Nomads, dreams that are filled with suffering and hopelessness and death. However, by the end of the fic, after Zuko learns to heal and forgive himself thanks to Aang, he begins to dream of his true family, his found family, and the rebirth of the Air Nomads.

I also really love this passage because the Air Nomad section can be interpreted one of three ways: you can see it as a precursor to Legend of Korra, when the Air Nomads indeed come back and Zuko is still alive to witness it; you can see it as Zuko dreaming of the past reborn into the future; or you can see it as him being determined to help Aang bring back his lost people. Either one of those interpretations are valid, and in my opinion, really really beautiful.

ao3 wrapped

[imthepunchlord]

so I recently read through your "Always a hero"-works. And now I am hooked on LfM. And while Adrien Seems so much different from canon, he really isn't? Marinette not being in his "friends-folder" means he sees no reason believing her over Chloe. (I cannot recall situations like that in canon but when does canon explore sidecharas much other than to akumatize them)

It essentially is canon Adrien, though been focusing on his worst aspects as we’re going into 4 seasons, and those issues have yet to be addressed and I’m a tad salty and LfM is a salt fic response fic. And Adrien for a while will have that salty focus. Largely because

And yeah, canon won’t put focus on side characters (or even truly focus on our lead herself) as those characters have to circle around the love square, their akumas, or 

Actually the most we got is Chloe. 

She got focus outside Adrien and the love square. Unfortunately, all her focus was a big waste of our time and essentially another tease of “is she going to be redeemed or not”. Ultimately not and its like, why even bother spending two seasons focusing on will she won’t she be better. That could’ve been shortened down to one. Now she’s a very irritating character and canon wise, I don’t want to see her with another miraculous ever again. 

Which is a shame as I was one of many up to see Chloe redeemed, especially since I’m fed up with the idea that 14 yos girls are irredeemable but Gabriel will probably be redeemed. It shouldn’t be like that for Chloe or Lila. But they want to push that these girls are absolutely evil, more so than the active terrorist who is a neglectful father and by Chat Blanc abusive so... 

It’s also a big shame cause there was so much potential in the side characters outside love square and Adrien. 

Putting this under cut cause I just go off and it gets lenthy. 

Alya could’ve had an amazing arc if she was a full time hero. Could’ve had a struggle of balancing her hero and civilian lives, as one she is essentially living her dream. Another option is learning, hey, being a hero isn’t all glory and glamour. And depending on the miraculous, there was more to learn, especially since I myself am not big on her having Fox anymore and there are better alternatives, both in matching her but also teaching her things she needs to learn. She could learn to be more of a team player and to be more conscious of her friends as when she gets going in her goals, she can be quite inconsiderate. She can also learn to be more self conscious of her own security as she can rival Adrien in reckless behavior around akumas. And in truth, any miraculous can teach her the importance of secrecy, not Fox exclusively. 

Honestly, Alya and Nino should’ve had their miraculous swapped (most characters actually don’t have a miraculous that suits them in terms of kwami,  powers, or/and symbolism).  Alya at the core is meant to be a supportive friend that is supposed to have her friends’ back, but also prefers to be on the front lines. Turtle would allow this, and teach her to be more aware of the danger she and her friends are in. It won’t essentially stop her reactive behavior, but she can learn to be more smart about it. 

And with Nino, it was always weird to me how popular it was for him to get Turtle. And then it happened in canon and I’m just put off by the assignment. Nino at the core isn’t a character that wants to be on the front lines, but Turtle is a miraculous that is meant to be on the front lines as a protector. Nino is a support role, but not in that sense. Fox would’ve been better as its more designed to help from the shadows. It won’t be as aesthetically pleasing still as Nino is so color coded for Peafowl, but would fit better as it allows Nino to be a background support. It would also help him learn to be more observant and aware of others, and wanting to be a director, you need to learn to put on a good show that draws your audience in. Mirage can give him a chance to truly practice this. Mindful, Fox still isn’t my top pick for Nino (I think Fox would be more fitting with Marinette or Felix), Peafowl still is as that’s what he is coded for, and even canon wise, it would be a more fitting miraculous for him than Turtle. But of what Fu has, Fox would’ve been the better pick for Nino. 

And speaking of Nino, it’s revealed from a tweet from Thomas that Nino had lost an older brother and that his hat belonged to him. That actually gives Nino an emotional tie in to the plot as, while he wants his brother back, he wouldn’t go to the extent that Gabriel is. 

Classmate wise, there’s potential too. 

Origins shows that everyone was afraid of Ivan and assumed the worst of him, he could’ve had an arc of changing those views. Go from being feared to being seen as a hero to trust. A source of protection and security. 

Juleka wants to shine out more. But she struggles in that spotlight and to even be heard. She could have an arc about being heard, and building her confidence. 

Rose is a girl ruled by her heart and is full of love and trust for others. It could be interesting seeing her have a miraculous and struggling with the factor that fighting is involved, but she herself is a pacifist (at least I get that impression). And that can be an interesting thing to explore, as she’s not wrong, but sometimes fighting is the only way. She can also learn to be more conscious that there are those who will take advantage of her and will have active malicious intents to her and others. 

Kim actually states that he wants to be a hero. Not only could him as a hero be fun, it could help him mature as a character and be more serious, as akumas demand focus and be treated as serious. Copycat shows that he can be an observant character, I’d be intrigue to see ML’s residential himbo be surprisingly observant and offer up advise to his friends. 

And of alternative love interests... 

Well, this is more Kagami than Luka, at least in terms of character potential and an arc to see. Though, as of now, if all the predictions are correct SPOILER ALERT, Lies will break up Adrien and Kagami, to me its going to make them another Chloe. More specifically, why did we spend two seasons building up and teasing these alternative love interests only to immediately break them up at the start of s4. 

To me, that sets them up as pointless inclusions who ultimately didn’t bring anything to the narrative. 

Either way, this is about character potentials and I see more potential to explore with Kagami than Luka, and that’s more on the writers and how they handle Luka as most Luka episodes wound up more about Adrien than him. So he is largely a character I just don’t know what to do with. 

Kagami though, she’s an aggressive character that could learn to cool it, she wants to branch out/rebel from her mother, she wants to make friends but struggles with it, and can learn to be more conscious of others and step up into the hero role, of helping others. 

Honestly, working solely off Riptose, she would’ve been a better rival for Adrien than Marinette. Not just as a love rival, which he truly has yet to have, but a rival in general. While she wants to branch out from her mother’s influence, fencing is still her passion and her goal, something Adrien himself lacks. Outside being romantically involved with LB, he has no passion or goal for himself. Kagami can challenge this, why is he here when he doesn’t truly care about fencing? 

And as a romantic rival, she’s one of the few who doesn’t need a miraculous to join fights, she can vigilante to assist LB and pay her back for her helping in cleansing her, but could end showing that she’s a better partner to LB as she takes things more seriously and is more battle smart in fights. Which ultimately would force Adrien to step up his game, take things more seriously, and wise up for throwing a tantrum will only take you so far. Especially when there’s a 3rd party member that’s judging you for your immaturity and shows LB she doesn’t have to bow to his whims just because he’s having a tantrum. 

...You know, maybe Luka then would’ve been better as Marinette’s rival. Not a love rival, Marinette has enough between Chloe, Lila, and Adrien’s fanclub. But more of a rival for Ladybug. Though, it won’t so much be an arc for Luka himself but one for Marinette. If Kagami and Luka are supposed to help Adrien and Marinette grow, then this at least keeps in that theme. 

With the show taking a turn that Marinette is feeling overwhelmed and stressed with her role as a hero and now Guardian, and slightly playing off Origins and her doubts of whether she’s a good hero; Luka could’ve been an interesting character for her to come across and consider. Ultimately, he is set up to be a very solid hero: he is calm, mature, shown to be a planner, and considerate and aware of others. Only thing he has against him is that he’s a removed character and is mostly seen sitting on that boat. 

Romance between them I’d leave as optional, but it could be intriguing to see Marinette considering the possibility of retiring as Ladybug and passing it on to Luka so she can fully embrace her Guardian duties and not be so overwhelmed. And in general, it is a big wonder, who would take over as the Ladybug if Marinette has to leave and not come back, or that she can’t balance between being a hero and being the Guardian (and in truth, Tikki is no longer a good kwami for Marinette to have as she’s developing an Atlas complex through her and she hasn’t been helpful as a guide and adviser in a long time). 

Now the show writers would butcher this, but it could’ve been interesting to see. Maybe Luka could’ve been a means to help her learn to manage things better if she has to stay LB and Guardian. 

But yeah, it’s a shame that this show won’t delve past the LS which has long since gotten stale and quite toxic. There’s a lot of potential, but they won’t touch it. Won’t care to. 

[bucksblr]

tagged by @leonzhng​ thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋

i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena​ @yibobibo​ @lan-xichens​ @purplexedhuman​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @lanzhansmiles​ @nyx4​ i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!

putting this under a read more for reasons

MEN 2010 – 2016

literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)

tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes

harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years

louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart

ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014

harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly

choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot

brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)

jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos

misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)

henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)

MEN 2016 – 2021

min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??

kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard

park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)

kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day

jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys

choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu

xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx

wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok

lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me

bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho

WOMEN

this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time

ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts

perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her

andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty

lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked

alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay

park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)

kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members

shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D

xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage

lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao

peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on

legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14

zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.

will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute

jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off

castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did

kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF

howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl

lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot

mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)

[chasingtheavatar]

The Avatar characters are the kind of tv characters I want my kids to look up to.

For example:

Katara showed the entire Northern tribe that she was going to be treated as an equal to any man. She literally battled a water bending master, even though she barely knew how to water bend. She never gave in and kept looking for solutions and hope throughout the entire war. She helps save and heal an entire village left devastated by a fire nation factory. She masters water bending, even blood bending. She married the avatar and raised three amazing kids, one of her kids even vacate an air bending master.

Aang’s entire culture and people were wiped out in the air bender genocide. Aang comes into the world a hundred years later, with the pressure of saving the world haunting him. He manages to find comfort with the new friends he has. He even manages to spare everyone’s lives and promote peace. He helps found Republic City and to rebuild the air bender nation.

Sokka loses his mom and his dad goes off to war. He is left as the only guy in his tribe. He is a role model for the young, future warrior boys. He leaves his home with his sister to help the avatar win the war. He takes out a combustion bender with his boomerang. He learns that he is just as valuable as any bender. He becomes a sword master. He even ends up being a judge for the Republic City Council.

Toph leaves her life of luxury to save the world. She is blind but never let that become a disability, instead she uses it as her grew a test advantage. She masters earthbending at a really young age and learns seismic sense from badger miles. She competes in earth bending knock outs against full grown men. She INVENTS metalbending and also learns lava bending and sand bending. She creates a police force and a traveling academy to teach metal bending. She even raises two, talented daughters, by herself!

Suki is the leader of an elite team of warriors called the Kyoshi Warriors. She trains them and practices in martial arts. She has mastered the ways of the fan. She helps show men that girls can be just as good, if not better, at fighting. She goes into combat in a dress- I mean that’s talent right there! She helps destroy fire nation airships, without bending, and helps end the 100 year war. She and the other Kyoshi warriors share their services with the world and even help protect Firelord Zuko. She travels and teaches young girls how to fight and stand up for themselves.

Zuko’s mother is banished at a young age and his grandfather mysteriously passes in the middle of the night. His cousin dies when he is young, leaving his uncle heartbroken. He is left with an abusive father and a manipulative sister. He is the heir to the throne, but quickly loses that title when he tries to stand up for fire nation soldiers in his father’s war room. His father leaves him with a brutal face scar and banished him to hunt for the missing avatar with his uncle. Zuko is forced to shave parts of his head because of his Agni Kai loss. He finds the avatar and eventually captures him multiple times. But each time, Aang gets away. Zuko and Iroh are later declared traitors and are wanted. They live as refugees and travel great distances to get to Ba Sing Se. He is hunted by his own sister and goes through a metamorphosis after helping the avatar’s bison. He returns to the Fire Nation, only to learn that the true way to earn his honor is to help the avatar and his uncle. He teaches the avatar fire bending, that he learned directly from the original fire bending source. He helps free Suki and Hakoda from the most secure prison on the planet. He even helps Katara find closure after confronting the man who killed her mother. He eventually fights an Agni Kai against his sister and saves Katara from what would be lethal lightning. Together they defeat Azula and Zuko becomes FIRELORD. Zuko then restores the honor of the fire nation, established Republic city, raises a daughter and grand son, gets a dragon, and continues to fight to protect the new avatar after Aang. He even masters dual swords before the series and by the end he has also mastered fire bending and lightning redirection.

All of these characters are so powerful and can teach some pretty good life lessons. Seriously-> go find someone and make them watch atla, it’s worth it!

[magicmoontea]

Illuminated Fantasies (1/2)

Characters: Beckett Harrington x f!MC (Iris Atwood), Pend Pals

Rating: M, Language and sexual themes, topics of mental health

Word Count: 5760 ~Less than 20 min read (A bit longer, I couldn’t help myself!)

Summary: It’s the Summer Solstice and Iris and the Pend Pals are celebrating! Feeling her Sun magick growing on this day, Iris struggles within herself to keep a balance between her unchecked fears and fantasies from bursting out.

Notes: This takes place after book 2, and ignores Winter’s past. Beckett and Iris (f!MC) remained friends throughout their time at Penderghast and never pushed it further than harmless flirting. I wanted to make Iris feel more relatable as I felt like they gave her too much power, so I ran with it. If angsty reads aren’t your thing, this might not be for you. This is my very first fic posted online, so I’d love to hear what you thought  <3

Part two coming soon!

Created for @choicesaprilchallenge​ - Fantasy day 28

Everything inside of the brilliant Sun-Att hummed beautifully and yet unmistakably powerful and intense at the same time. She could sense the strength of her Sun magick growing stronger and radiating powerfully as it was the early morning of the Summer Solstice. Iris felt the weight of her immense pure Sun magick.

She had woken up before the sunrise, drenched in sweat, even with her air magick spells flowing around her bedroom, and could feel her heart racing against her chest. To Iris’ surprise, she was also glowing a warm golden hue without any effort making light rays dance across the walls. She sat up and wiped the wild platinum blonde strands that clung to her forehead and clutched her heart and tried to slow her breath. The glow eventually faded and ultimately the pressure in her chest went along with it. If she was being honest with herself, it was all starting to wear her thin.

Iris had been spending her time nurturing her newfound relationship with her mom/not intimidating at all Sun Source. There was so much to unpack with all information she was given the last few weeks of her second year at Penderghast. It was overwhelming at times to remember that not that long ago she had no idea magick truly existed, and she built her reality, thought patterns, and idea of herself around the idea that she was unordinary, powerless to change her situation and truly doesn’t belong.

She’d be lying if she said all those feelings disappeared when she found her magick within her, practiced and came to the powerful place she is today. It was incredibly hard for Iris to shake certain thoughts she had about herself since childhood and what her role to other people was supposed to be.

Being half Sun source didn’t change the fact that for a long time she struggled with dark thoughts about herself that shadowed her mind. Sun will bring shade, and her heart definitely carried that darkness that she buried with positivity and hope for a safe place for her to truly belong one day. Her caretakers were good people but she had spent many nights alone in her room in a whole other world in her mind.

Iris grew up a lonely only child, and she couldn’t talk to anyone about how she just felt different and that it kept her up at night. That her emotions were so strong at times that she felt she was going to burst, and that she went through such high and lows with them. She was told consistently that it was part of growing up, and she learned to accept that true happiness and belonging happened to other people, not her. It was just the cards she was dealt in life.

After meeting and finding out about Atlas and developing a quick bond with her to fill the years they were apart made Iris feel truly happy for a while. However, after a while, she clung to the idea that this was her family and so this must be who she really is, and it fed into Iris' terrible habit of codependency. It was so much easier in her head to have people tell you who you are and how to respond because you were never allowed to explore those options on your own.

So needless to say, she was freaking the hell out with the information that she and Atlas were half Source. What did that mean for her future? How did being half Source change the paths she took in life and how her magick looks like in the future? When Iris allowed herself to be truly honest with herself, there were times she felt terrified of the power she possessed.

For a while, she didn’t feel worthy of her magick after finding out she was Attuned to an extremely rare attunement as people have gone their whole lives knowing and practicing magick and not having half the power she does. She didn't feel like she deserved the praises from teachers that either taught her or didn't as she easily combined her natural talent and years of being a tuneless scholar, let alone deserving of or being even capable of being a half Source.

She knew she had no choice but to accept who she was, but it was a difficult journey that caused so much doubt and fear. Iris was still just getting a good grip and control on her refractionary magick’s effect on her body let alone have enough energy to deal with the heavy fact that she was half Source, the responsibility of having Kane's tether, and having every single person looking at your every move wondering what the great Sun-Att will do next when in reality she has no fucking idea what she's doing.

Tonight, she guessed she was only getting 3 hours of sleep as her body was full of adrenaline from it being the most powerful day to be a Sun-Att. Annoyed that she wasn’t able to enjoy the comfort of her own bed as long as she’d like, Iris decided to make the most of her extra Sun magick energy and practice her prescience. She hoped she���d be able to burn some energy off as she wouldn’t be able to sit still with that much magick that wanted to pour out.

Sitting up and crossing her legs in the lotus position, Iris took calming breaths. It didn’t take long to feel the connection to the sun, even as the sun was just starting the early stages of sunrise. Her magick was powerful and strong and she knew from previous prescience practices, that it really isn’t practice at all, prescience will do what it wants when it wants. The more you work with it, the more it becomes more than a gut feeling, but you can’t just pull it whenever you please.

That’s why she was trying to use her prescience this morning of the Summer Solstice to invite that heightened connection and welcome prescience to happen freely to continue a vision she has earlier that week. She had been minding her own business a few days ago prior and felt her entire body flush with goosebumps like she was just exiting a cold movie theater into a warm summer day. With all the advanced practices with her mom, Theia, and Dean Swan, she knew that she was getting a vision.

It wasn’t a long vision, but she was floored with how genuinely happy she felt in it, and how that effect lasted throughout the waking hours. She spent the rest of the day fantasizing about it and being terrified to dissect it further because that would mean thinking about something, she pushed down first year: how she truly felt about her best friend Beckett. And she wasn't sure if she could handle that.

In her vision was Beckett, illuminated by the glow of a magical fire, beamed at her with such tenderness he reserves just for her and brushed her hair behind her ears. Then it faded away no matter how hard she tried to stay with it and focus.

With each thought that took over Iris’ mind over those next days, one thing was becoming more and more clear to her: that she was lying to herself about how she felt about him. She never took the time to challenge the butterflies in her stomach when her fingers grazed his when he handed her an ingredient for a potion or how his freckles dancing on his cheeks when he smiled at her made behind her knees sweaty, or that she felt like he was one of the only people who truly listened to her, and didn’t put any expectation of what she should be regardless of magick potential.

There was a time early in her time at Penderghast that she knew that she was attracted to him and spent many nights allowing herself to fantasize about him and what it would be like to hear him moan and make him feel like he can lose control for one night of ecstasy with her. She always came quickly on her soaking fingers then, biting her lip from crying out his name and as if that would make the situation less awkward tomorrow when she saw him in class. As she learned that she needed him to be there for her emotionally and in her life more than she could have ever guessed, she stopped any thoughts or impulse based on pure lust that would risk losing him.

She knew part of the reason they had such a good bond was that they both had similar struggles. No, Harrington’s wealthy upscale lifestyle and his ability to be such a prick in the beginning definitely didn’t help, but as time went on it became more obvious that he was running from something in himself, too: constant perfection.

If Iris traced back to when she no longer could deny the surge of pure emotion she got when she was by Beckett, it was when he ended up in the hospital creating a ward to save her from Kane. She would have without a doubt died without him. She was beyond grateful. The look he gave her when he asked her if she was okay made her realize that this amazing man truly cared about her.

Even after she put him through a fight with a psychopath killer Raife, cried on his shoulders numerous times and suffered massive panic attacks in front of him before fighting for her life at 19, beat him in magickal competitions revolving topics she just heard about, or after he saw the dustiest parts of her soul and stared back unflinchingly, he still cared.

Iris never thought that Beckett could actually care about her in that way though. She never saw any signs besides his blushing inexperienced geek self-antics whenever she teased him, but always pushed that away so she wouldn’t get hurt. Deep down she had a terrible fear that she would never be good enough for someone as smart and well established as him as she still viewed herself as someone who ungracefully barged herself into a world she knew nothing about and was given a substantial amount of the magickal powers without deserving them.

Pulling herself back into the present moment, Iris took another breath feeling the connection to the sun growing stronger as the sun started to rise more. She desperately wanted to see more of a vision of tonight, as she deduced that the magickal fire she saw in the earlier vision was going to be the ritual Summer Solstice fire from the get together Shreya was having later.

She then focused her attention on thoughts of the party this afternoon, Beckett, and herself. Having a good feeling plus the power of the sun on Summer Solstice sparked that extra confidence Iris needed to make it work.

Then it started to happen. Feeling like she just received amazing news, she felt her whole-body spark with energy. Her body began to hum and tingle as goosebumps danced their way across her freckles and skin. White lights appeared at the corners of her eyes as a vision was starting to come through.

When the vision played out in Iris’ head, her toes curled underneath her legs on the bed and she audibly gasped. Her body temperature rose greatly at what she just saw, and she felt her body become flushed. She has no idea what she has to do to make that vision come true, but she will do whatever it takes.

For starters, she figured it wouldn’t hurt to change her outfit tonight to the black sundress with the mini golden suns, and flowers that she saw laying on the floor of the vision.

-----------------------------

“Okay, so now who is going to clean this up?” Shreya asked jokingly as she looked around her large kitchen and the mess the Pend Pals had made while baking traditional ginger and cinnamon Summer Solstice cookies. There was more flour on the ground than in the cookies themself, but they couldn’t help but throwing some flour in the air and having each one take turns running their magick through it to create different effects. All for healthy competition of course.

“Oh, I know of an excellent cleaning spell that can clean this mess easily.” Beckett offered to help as he looked around at their mess as well as Atlas currently making a snow flour angel on the ground. Not being in the best mood today since it was the hardest day to be a Moon-Att, Iris smiled at her sister enjoying herself.

“Don’t be silly. My parents said not to worry about cleanup at all after my party. They just wanted me to have fun celebrating with my BFF Sun-Att’s favorite day!” Shreya said happily, feeling the many toasts to the sun, she made the group do earlier.

Iris smiled sheepishly. “I’m glad you’re fine with sharing the day. I know being a Fire-Att gets your magick all pumped up today as well, so it’s about you, too. Besides, I had plenty of time practicing my sun Magick with my Sun Source mom earlier. Which is still so weird to say by the way.”

“She’s the best!!!” Atlas sang from the ground, and everyone gave each other a knowing look and smirk, Atlas was quickly feeling her drinks as well as all ofer energy was used to muster any magick. She got up and waited for Iris to cast an Air spell to clean her off like she had earlier since “Atlas’ energy needed to be saved at all costs”.

Her energy is saved for more drinking, Iris thought. Plus, she was sure she loved having her to boss around.

“I still can’t believe you can hang out with Sources all day!” Zeph proclaimed and Griffin agreed in and expressed their well-known feelings again making Iris’ stomach do flip flops. She didn’t like the kind of attention it brought.

“It’s not all that great, really. Nome and my mom are the ones I see the most and they barely can remember what it’s like to be in a human form half the time. It’s bizarre. But, I appreciate it. I do say though, they are working me to death with training and skill enhancing.” Iris rolled her eyes and welcomed the fresh air as they made their way back outside into the now summer night.

Shreya had really outdone herself with decorating her large, luscious backyard for just her friends to come over. Shreya never did anything half-assed, and of course had magickal snacks, foods, and drinks that cost more than Iris wanted to think about. She had asked for Iris’ help, however, on the finishing decorating touches: hundreds of warm orbs flowing and glowing throughout the air to create the mood.

“You’re planning on sharing that knowledge with me, correct?” Beckett asked with terror clear on his features. Iris couldn’t help but smile at him and for the hundredth time that night already, get flustered by the things she never allowed herself to before. Blaming the extra Sun Magick, her prescience vision, or just her unchecked desires, Iris decided to go with it.

“Of course. Atlas is way too good at the Moon spells already obviously, so I’m going to need someone to compete with. And win against of course.” She bumped her shoulder into his playfully, and she could see the tips of his ears turning pink. Just like the good ole days.

Her vision from this morning came crashing back to her: Beckett kissing in her underwear like his life depended on it, with her sundress on the ground. She knew that not every vision comes true, and that not every vision necessarily is what the future holds. She could have very well thrown off her prescience with her evolving attraction to Beckett that was at the forefront of her mind for the past couple days. But she was going to try to look for any sign that it may happen, and more importantly that he wanted it to happen.

“I actually have a really fun spell for us to try with the fire we make tonight?” Iris spoke and looked at Atlas knowing that she would be for it.

“Are you talking about the spell we were just taught?” Atlas actually looked excited. “I think I should have enough energy for that. But I don’t know, Iris, you might have to be my personal magickal assistant for a bit longer though.”

Iris stuck out her tongue as a response to her twin and continued to the others, “It’s a really fun spell that uses the emotional nature of the Moon and the affirmative nature of the Sun and it actually shows what you fantasize most. So you cast intention onto something gets thrown into water, fire, over a cliff or whatever as long as it disappears and so it can come back to you with what your heart fantasizes.”

“Or you don’t cast intention and the spell only shows you that you fantasize a really good sandwich.” Atlas retorts back laughing on her past experiences.

“That is true.” Iris smiled remembering her first experience. “I didn’t really want to think about anything major the first time, and focused on just practicing the spell, too. It showed me a nice bed with the window open for a slight breeze. I guess my body just needed sleep.” Iris shrugged and continued a bit softer as she spoke, “Then I tried it when I was in a shitty mood, and I fantasized a day where no one knew my name or who I’ve fought and had any expectations of me.”

The group got a little quiet after Iris’ statement and she could feel a pair of grey eyes on her as she sat next to him. She smiled to lighten up the mood scolding herself for being a damper. “So let’s make sure we have a lot of fun before hand, and knowing us that won’t be a problem.”

Shreya’s mouth dropped open in shock and spoke, “A spell that plays out your fantasy in front of you? Um yes! Sign me up. I’ve been thinking about this eye candy that shops near one of my favorite boutiques a lot lately.”

She wiggled her eyes up and down, and Beckett and Zeph sighed poking fun at their friend at the same time, looked at each other and high fived each other laughing.

“I’m SO happy that I won’t be able to see that play before me. I’m already weak as is tonight.” Atlas retorted taking her seat around the bonfire area as well.

Everyone did their part to contribute to the bonfire, and they could feel the warm magickal effect flowing through each of them as it began to blaze brightly.  Shreya used her Fire magick to make the fire have beautiful color changing effects, casting a vibrant glow on everyone’s faces.

The group began to bond quickly over the time they hadn’t seen each other and laughed over stupid things each other has done and drank plenty of drinks mixed magickal mood enhancers as the night wore on. They were playing a game of blind enhancements: where basically you take a magickal drink not knowing the magickal effects. Shreya ensured the frantic Beckett multiple times that she wouldn’t put an enhancement in there that ‘wasn’t fun’. Not feeling super comforted with that answer, Beckett still played and even found himself sitting there blazer off, sleeves rolled up and laughing until his stomach hurt at the different situations that arose.  

Aster began to speak a different language for a whole turn, Zeph’s skin turned green for 20 minutes, Griffin felt a strong urge to sing loudly and Shreya went through a fit of hysterical laughter. Atlas was even a good sport when her drink made her want to dance wildly and hiccup every other word.

There was one particular drink that Beckett had taken and remained suspiciously quiet for a while after. Iris couldn’t help but notice the fidgeting Attuned next to her and his blushing ear tips when she had pressed her thigh against his for a brief moment. She wouldn’t call him on it until later when they were alone, but she knew that he didn’t get a “bashful” one.

They switched over to playing ‘Never Have I Ever’ and enjoyed embarrassing one another. They had started with easy questions, but leave it to Atlas to break the seal with, “Never have I had sex with the lights on. Having sex in the day doesn’t count”.

Zeph laughed and said, “It’s never been better to be asexual”.  

Aster blushed furiously at the topic but didn’t take a drink. Shreya and Griffin took a drink quickly.  Iris snuck a quick drink to avoid attention to her and conversations about her sex life, but noticed that Beckett didn’t take a drink.

Iris mind began to wonder again to Beckett’s sex life. A topic they never talked about. Was he a virgin and if not how experienced was he? How many people has he been with? What does he enjoy in bed?

Beckett cleared his throat indicating he has asked a question, and she noticed that everyone stopped talking. Blushing furiously, she realized she hadn’t been paying attention to what was going on.

“I’m sorry, I missed what you said.” She blushed harder even though she tried not to as Beckett looked at her in the eyes.

Then it happened. Her vision came to life. He smiled so wide that his eyes were smiling, too. He showed her such tenderness in his smile that it felt so much better than her vision to be on the receiving end. He leaned forward and tucked the wild strand behind her hair.

“That’s okay. You obviously were having a very important thought. I tend to know a thing or two about those.” His eyes held a little mischief like he knew, and she was worried that he could somehow read her mind. “What I had asked before was, do you think it’s the right time to successfully implement the fantasy spell?”

“Yeah, no time like the present.” Iris felt herself beaming at him and looking at him with her heart on her sleeve, not caring that her intuitive twin would definitely be asking about why she was looking at him like that later. Beckett’s blush reached his cheek at the same time the magickal fire glowed a beautiful magenta hue, illuminating his face  and highlighting his blush in a stunning way. She felt her heart skip a beat.

Shreya who was getting more drunk by the minute, spoke loudly interrupting their moment. “I’M SO READY!”  

Iris smiled at her best friend enjoying the night and complimenting herself on how great the party she threw was going. Iris wasn’t feeling anything more than buzzed as her Sun Magick was working her energy and metabolism quickly, but she didn’t mind. If she was going to have any part of her vision come true tonight, she wanted to be clear headed.

“Okay, everyone have their stick they’re going to cast their intentions with?” Everyone nodded and grabbed their twig they picked out earlier. “Okay, now take a moment to take a couple deep breaths before I cast the spell to ground yourself.” As everyone closed their eyes, Iris couldn’t help but peek at Beckett before taking her own grounding breaths.

Standing up with Atlas who stood on the other end of the fire, they began to recite the powerful spell.  Everyone’s stick began to illuminate a bright magickal golden hue and rise by the energy of the spell. Then each stick flew into the fire one by one, casting a puff of colorful smoke.

Iris felt the corners of her eyes grow blindingly bright as she was pulled into her spell’s fantasy. The vision began to unfold. She found herself sleeping in bed, breeze blowing through a quiet bedroom. The peace and quiet was soon challenged as vision Iris sat straight up in bed gasping, waking from a night terror.

Stirring next to her was another body and to her heart’s pleasure sat up Beckett, tousled hair from sleep, rubbing her shoulders kissing them lazily and softly.

“Bad dream, baby?” His voice thick with sleep asked vision Iris as she leaned into his touch and nodded. He enveloped her into a large hug and slowly brought her back to lay down in bed. She rested her head on his heart, and he stroked her hair.

“I’m here. No one will hurt you as long as I’m here. You’re safe. I’m not going anywhere. Ever.” His gentle voice and soft kisses to her head pulled her back to sleep.

Iris was pulled back to reality gasping trying to get a bearings of her surroundings again. She looked around to her friends who were wearing excited faces and started to chatter about what they saw in their own fantasties. Aster was giddy with delight seeing her excel in Attuned Magick and Zeph had fantasies about being the new Thief captain.

Shreya then began to talk about the love story that folded into her fantasy and that racy novelists should just contact her now, she has a best seller. Iris felt herself fading away more and more from the group as her mind began to unravel.

She felt the ringing in her ears getting louder as a toxic thought kept repeating over and over: “you’ll never be good enough for that fantasy to be real. That happens to other people. Not you. He could never care about someone like you. Someone who doesn’t even deserve to have this immense power circulating through you right now. Someone who can’t even control it properly. Who has no idea what they are doing. You can’t do this.”

Iris stood up abruptly then Sun magick bursting through her as her magick and mind threatened to spiral, shocking her friends slightly at the sudden movement and bright light that briefly casted them.

“I….I...I don’t feel well.” Was the best Iris could make out. Her breaths were becoming staggered and shallow, and she felt the continuous intense rolling pressure in her chest and body that her anxiety brought. “Bathroom.” She bolted her way away from her friends, and could faintly hear Griffin laugh and say, “TMI” as she made her way into Shreya’s house.

She didn’t want anyone to follow her, and she wasn’t particularly sure where anything was in Shreya’s large house. So she just continued to walk down the gorgeous marble hallway down to the other end of the house hoping that the walk will calm her and her mind.

She rounded the corner and made her way down a second hallway to the back of the house. Stopping by the luxurious sunroom, Iris decided that this was a good place to hide and recoup. She admired the bright furniture and enchanted ceiling to have vines and other beautiful floral hanging below gracefully. Her Water magick hummed with delight when she saw the fountain and magickal rain that occurred for the plants every so often. Running her fingers in the fountain and casting little light orbs to follow her magickally started to make her feel at ease already.

Feeling foolish for how she left and having the fantasy affect her this much, Iris chastised herself again. She just wanted to be normal. Funny, she long hated her life before magick, but she envied the simplicity of just wanting to belong. She still didn’t feel like she belonged and now had a world of responsibility and power and everyone telling her where they think she belongs and watching her every move. Maybe she wasn’t able to handle this, and she didn’t know if she could let everyone down. She began to cry softly.

“I’m sorry.” Iris stated out loud to no one in particular feeling pathetic.

“Hey, no need for that.” Beckett spoke softly startling Iris at his entrance to the room. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. You had been gone for a bit, and I could tell something was wrong, so I wanted to find you. Don’t worry, the others think I’m admiring the flora in the front garden.”

“How did you find me?” Iris said sniffling and wiping her eyes to compose herself in front of someone who always looked so well kempt.

“It’s funny how you don’t even have to try, but it’s as if you are my magnet. I find myself being able to feel your energy and magick quite easily.” Beckett explained and made his way to sit next to her on the large couch.

“You’re being too sweet because I freaked out back there. You don’t have to baby me. I know I’m crazy.” Iris spoke and hated how self deprecating she sounded. He shifted his body to look at her face forcing her to meet him in the eyes.

“Don’t ever say that about yourself. You’re not crazy. You just spend so much time taking care of others, that when you take care of yourself it feels strange.” He said matter of factly, and she cursed his brilliant brain for being right all the time.

“I hate the attention being on me. I can’t stand the pressure anymore, Beck. It’s all getting to me. I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. Atlas wants to go head first into the whole half-Source life, and I’m sitting here fucking terrified! I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve all this power.” Iris broke her facade that she was strong and doing well and began to sob into Beckett’s arms.

He took her into his arms and tightened the hug holding her like he was the glue keeping her together. He stroked her hair and let her cry and let out her emotions she desperately needed to release. He gave comforting noises but didn’t try to stop her from feeling. He made her feel validated for being upset.

After she her crying slowed down, she stayed for a while breathing in Beckett’s scent and just feeling his warm strong hand caressing her back soothingly. She reluctantly pulled back after a while, and she was so close to him that she could count all his freckles.

“I’m so-” Iris began to apologize and Beckett gently put his finger to her mouth to silence her. She couldn’t help but feel the electricity that sparked through her as he touched her lips.

“Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. I want to be here for you, through thick and thin.” He stared at her face as if he was having a long conversation with himself before he continued speaking.

“You deserve everything that makes you happy. It pains me greatly to see you like this. To think that you don’t feel the way you brighten everyone’s lives. That you can’t see that your warmth stays with people for hours and how no one forgets all the times you’ve been there for them. You take on every challenge with everything you have, Iris. You’ve been through terrible situations no one should ever be in, but yet you’re in them again and again with people asking too much of you. And you give to them! You give everything you have to every person, and you’re still able to find the spark in the darkest room because that’s how incredible you are! You’re there for Atlas but she can’t be there for you emotionally. You’re there for Shreya but there is always going to be that distance between you guys because you can’t relate. Iris, when the hell are you there for yourself?”

Knowing that Iris wasn’t actually going to answer that question, Beckett’s cheeks blushed as he spoke, “No matter. I will be there for you whenever you aren’t there for yourself to remind you how amazing you are.”

Iris just stared at her friend in shock that not only did someone think of her that way, but that Beckett thought of her that way. Her lip started to quiver as she was overcome with intense emotion and Beckett cupped her face. They had never shared such an intimate and raw moment, and Iris felt her heart and soul fall even more head over heels in love with the man in front of her. The man who wanted to be her light for her when she couldn’t find her own.

“Thank you.” Was all she could croak out as she took an audible gulp.  After a moment of comfortable silence and steadying her breath she continued, “You know, Beck. I couldn’t have made it this far without you. I’m so grateful to have you in my life. You make me feel like I can figure out who I am and be allowed to fail, and I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing that feels.”

She smiled at him and allowed herself to show the person she cared for most just how much she cared in her eyes. She rested her hands against his thigh, and she could hear his breath hitch. She didn’t want to be afraid of rejection and losing him anymore. His thumb brushed against her cheek lightly, and he didn’t make any moves to move apart. She could feel his breath hitting her lips and she enjoyed the way his aroma began to engulf her as well.

“I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. It’s crazy but I’d do just about anything to keep you safe. I can’t pull myself away from you, and I don't think I want to try anymore” Beckett spoke softly blushing lightly at his confession. She felt her chest tighten and her mind wanted to tell her that is was a lie, but a part of her that she was so tired of fighting, wanted it to be true.

“Beckett…” Iris breathed and found herself lost at words, feeling her magick drawing herself even closer to him. He was intoxicating.

“Can you tell me something, Iris?” Beckett asked her and she would just about give him anything he wanted now.

“Of course.”

“Obviously something you saw in the fantasy made you a bit upset. Do you mind telling me what it was?” He sheepishly asked and she could tell this flustered him a bit instantly making her wonder what his was. She tried to control her body temperature, so she didn’t give anything anyway.

“It wasn’t a bad fantasy or vision. It just made me a bit sad because I desperately wanted it to be my future, but I have a terrible fear that it would never happen. It hurts too much to think about that.” Iris took a deep breath and looked down at her lap and thanked all the energy the Summer Solstice brought to give her the courage she needed to say what she wanted out loud.

“What was it, Iris?” The vulnerability in his voice made her tear her gaze from her lap and look into his grey eyes that were heavy with emotion.

“Beckett…” Iris felt her face getting warmer as she spoke, “My fantasy was that you loved me.”

[ft-dads-au]

All I See Is You

Gratsu Weekend 2020 Prompt: Absence Pairing(s): Gray x Natsu, Erza & Natsu A Collaboration by @mdelpin​ and @oryu404​

AO3  | FF.Net | Takes place after Caught Up In You

February 7, 2021

Natsu was a mess. There was no other way to describe it. He’d taken the first part of his GED test the previous day, and even though he’d been told he might receive his results as soon as three hours after the exam ended, no such thing had happened.

Although Gray had reminded him time and time again that he should do his best to relax, that even if he failed it was no big deal, Natsu had still spent a good fifteen minutes freaking out at finally finding himself in front of the testing computer. Somehow he’d managed to get through it to answer all the questions as best he could.

At least he’d had work the previous night to keep his mind off it, but now nothing was preventing him from stressing out about his results. It was around noon when his phone finally notified him of a new email, and he saw that it was from the testing service.

With a shaking hand, he opened the app and read the email, his mind not really comprehending what it said. Natsu read the email for a second and even a third time to make sure there was no mistake. That he couldn’t possibly be reading it wrong. He was still having trouble believing what he’d read, so he looked for his sister, who was in the kitchen baking cookies with the kids.

“Erza, can you tell me what this email says?” Natsu handed her the phone and looked at her shyly.

His sister gazed at him in puzzlement before looking down at the screen. She read the email and put the phone down carefully before squealing loudly. Grabbing his hands in hers, she jumped up and down pulling him along with her just like she used to when they were little. “You did it, you passed!”

“I really passed?”

Erza nodded, somehow transitioning from mid-jump straight into a hug, “I’m so proud of you!” She ruffled his hair roughly, and while it would typically annoy him, this time, it only made him laugh.

“Daddy, you did it!” Hana cried excitedly, jumping into his arms for a hug, while Atlas contented himself with pulling on his pants until he picked him up with one arm, holding both kids against him. He grinned at them, kissing them before putting them down to continue their baking with Erza.

He walked over to the shrine they had made for Lisanna and lit the candle they had bought with her favorite scent, lavender vanilla.

He knelt down and looked at her picture, feeling the familiar hurt at not being able to see her again.

“Can you believe it, Lis? A dummy like me somehow managed to pass the first test,” Natsu chuckled, “Math no less. I had help, though. Remember Gray, my friend I told you about? He helped me study for it, wouldn’t let me give up. I still have to pass three more tests before I can get the certificate, but this is sort of already more than I thought I’d be able to do. Things are starting to look up for me, but uhm, I still miss you, we all do.”

Natsu smiled at the picture sadly before blowing out the candle. He wanted to tell Gray about his score, but after all the work they had put in, he wanted to tell him in person. This was his victory too!

“Erza?”

“Yes, I know, you want to go tell Gray,” Erza responded, “Go ahead, thank him for me too!”

“Thanks!” Natsu called out, hurrying out the door before the kids asked to come along. He drove to Magnolia Bean and bought an iced coffee since, for some reason, that’s what Gray drank all year long and headed to Lyon’s apartment.

He parked in one of the visitor’s spots and entered the building, or fort as he liked to call it. It had ample security, and Natsu submitted to the usual metal detector, and pat-down search as the guards rang Lyon’s apartment to see if he would be allowed upstairs. There were cameras everywhere and armed guards doing rounds with dogs. He’d heard from Gray that they had a room where they checked all incoming mail for signs of tampering or chemicals. He knew Lyon and Gray felt safe there, but to Natsu, it kind of felt more like a prison.

He was escorted to the apartment, and Gray was already waiting for him outside the elevator. They waved at the guard, and Natsu handed Gray his coffee as they entered the apartment.

“Why does Lyon live here again?”

“He was threatened at gunpoint by the ex-husband of one of his clients,” Gray deadpanned.

“For real?!”

Gray nodded, leading him past the living room where Aki was watching cartoons with Lyon and into his bedroom. Natsu noticed that there were several half-packed suitcases open on the bed.

“Did you get your email yet?” Gray asked, and from the way he was studying him, Natsu could tell that he was trying to guess the results from his behavior. He was tempted to act as though he’d failed, but he was too stoked to pull it off.

Instead, he pulled his phone out and showed him the email. He could see Gray’s lips move as he read it and grinned when he saw the pride settle into his features.

“You did amazing!” Gray exclaimed, shaking him lightly by the shoulders, “If you had gotten a few more points, you would have been able to get some college credit!”

“We did amazing, there’s no way in hell I could have done it without you hounding me,” Natsu laughed, “I actually feel like we could nail this!”

Gray’s smile withered, and he sat on the edge of his bed, “Listen, there’s something I’ve meant to tell you for a few weeks, but I wanted to wait until after you’d taken the test.”

Natsu could feel a sense of dread growing within him. Nothing good could come from that statement.

“I, uhm, I won’t be able to study with you for a few months,” Gray spoke in a soft voice, “I have to go back to Crocus for a while.”

“But why?” Natsu felt like pleading with him, the thought of not seeing Gray for months affecting him in ways he hadn’t expected.

“Well, Siegrain, that’s my ex, is claiming that I kidnapped Aki and am keeping him from seeing his son. The court there is demanding I return to answer those charges as well as show evidence that he abused Aki.”

“I’m sorry, did you say he abused Aki?” There was rage working its way through his veins, but Natsu tried to hide it, now that Gray was finally trusting him he didn’t want to ruin it by overreacting, but the idea that anyone would lay a hand to Aki was enough to make him see red.

Gray nodded, “It was one of the many reasons why I left.”

“What about you?”

He could see Gray startle at his words and realized too late they had come out in a deep growl.

“You know what? Why don’t we go for a walk?” Gray offered, and Natsu found himself agreeing quickly. He didn’t care where they went, he just wanted to learn what had happened and who to point his rage at.

Gray walked out of his room, and Natsu followed, trying to understand the intensity of his feelings.

“Natsu and I are going for a walk, call me if anything comes up,” Gray announced to Lyon, and although Aki looked up briefly, he seemed perfectly happy to just snuggle up with Lyon and continue watching television.

That simple act fed into Natsu’s anger even more. Aki had made so much progress since Natsu had met them, and he knew that would change as soon as he was moved from his home, for Lyon’s house was very much his home, as much a source of comfort for the boy as Lyon himself.

He could still remember how distraught and lost Atlas and Hana had been when they had made the move from Edolas to Magnolia. The nightmares, the nights spent sleeping in his room because they were afraid if they didn’t, he too would be gone when they woke up.

He didn’t want Aki to have to go through something like that just to feed some asshole’s ego. And God forbid he attempted to touch Aki again, Natsu wasn’t sure he could be held responsible for his actions then.

They had already walked out the front door when Natsu realized that Gray had once again not taken his coat, even though the February weather demanded it. Not only that, the idiot was still drinking his iced coffee.

Natsu’s chuckle remained lodged in his throat as he realized that he wouldn’t be seeing his friend for a while, only to be replaced by a sense of loss he was somewhat familiar with. Someone he cared about was leaving him again. He tried to fight it, reminding himself that wasn’t what was happening this time. Gray had no choice, if judges were calling for him, then he had to go or be arrested, but he still couldn’t fight the urge to try to stop him, or to follow him, anything to keep him near.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Natsu looked up to find Gray staring at him with a furrowed brow. He swallowed down his thoughts and attempted a shaky smile. “Yeah, just can’t get over the idea of someone purposefully hurting a child.”

Gray stared at him intently but soon shrugged, seemingly accepting his response at face value. As they walked outside, Natsu saw it had begun to snow, soft flurries that tickled when they landed on his exposed skin. Gray’s eyes immediately lit up, and Natsu had to smile as he watched his friend stick his tongue out to try to catch a snowflake.

He looks so beautiful like that, so peaceful, I wish he always looked like that…

Natsu was surprised by the thought, but he filed it away for later, wanting to once again focus on whatever it was Gray hadn’t felt comfortable sharing in the apartment.

“I love it when the weather is like this,” Gray commented, pulling on Natsu’s arm and nudging him to follow until they reached a playground he’d never noticed before.

“You’re going to catch your death, you idiot,” Natsu scolded fondly, although from what he could tell, Gray didn’t look cold at all.

“Nah, a little cold never hurt anyone,” Gray disagreed before dusting off a bench and sitting down.

Natsu debated whether he should do the same or not, knowing he had trouble sitting still when he was calm, let alone when he was agitated. And he was agitated, even from the little he had already heard.

“Sit down,” Gray demanded, “This is hard enough without watching you fly off the handle.”

Natsu grunted his displeasure but did as he was asked.

“In answer to your question, no, he never hit me. Although I have a feeling, it had more to do with not being able to hide his tracks than anything else. My body was always being photographed, so it would have been evident to others. With me, the abuse was more emotional, which is a lot harder to prove in court.

Natsu could feel Gray’s hands on his, and before he knew what was happening, his friend was trying to loosen his fists, which Natsu had yet to realize were clenched tightly next to him.

“I’m fine now,” Gray assured him, “I’ve been going to therapy for months, and it’s helping. I used to think everything that went wrong in our relationship was my fault, that I’d done something to make him not love me. But I realize now, that’s not what happened at all. That’s just what he wanted me to believe so that he could keep me under his control. Even Aki was a means to an end for him.”

“Aki? I don’t understand,” Natsu was confused by everything Gray was telling him. Keeping people under your control, hurting them emotionally? What did any of those things have to do with love?

Gray sighed, “I caught him cheating on me. It was as bad as any awkward movie scene you’ve ever seen. I walked in to find him balls deep in some other guy. He swore it was the first time, but I had been hearing rumors for years, I just-”

Natsu’s arms moved of their own volition, wrapping themselves around his friend in an embrace. It seriously felt like his body was working on automatic pilot as his mind raced to understand what his friend had been through, even as his own emotions flared just outside of his control. He could feel Gray’s body tense at his gesture before relaxing into it.

It was all so alien to him. If he were in love with Gray, he would never in a million years treat him like that. The idea of being unfaithful to someone he loved made him feel sick to his stomach. Natsu held Gray until he pushed against him. He let go, but the urge to protect him didn’t leave him.

“I guess I was just stubborn or conditioned or whatever but I was determined to make it work, we were married after all, and I sort of grew up thinking that’s what you did. So when he dangled the idea of having a child with me, I held on, and for a while, it was better. We interviewed surrogates, spent more time together, but once Aki was born, I guess it wasn’t what he had expected, you know? You remember how it is in the beginning, the crying, the constant need for attention…”

Natsu nodded, remembering those times quite well, and quite fondly.

“I loved it, loved Aki from the second I saw him in the sonogram, but Siegrain wasn’t the same. When Aki was born, he held him once and then handed him over to me. And that’s how it was from then on. I had to make sure to keep him quiet, his crying gave Siegrain horrendous migraines.”

Gray rolled his eyes at Natsu, and they both laughed.

“I’d wanted to believe things were better, but they weren’t, I was still working, and that plus taking care of Aki cut into the time I had to spend with him, and he started disappearing again. This time I knew what he was doing, but even then, I just couldn’t break it off. It was only when he started messing with Aki that I recognized I had no choice but to leave. I knew he’d never let me go willingly, so I got in touch with Lyon, and he walked me through how to get away and offered me to stay with him.”

“Do you - are you still in love with him?” Natsu asked.

Gray’s laugh was bitter, “Hell, no! I’ve actually begun to question if I ever was. All of this is just a big manipulation play by him. Siegrain never loved me. What he loved was the lifestyle I provided him. That’s what he wants back, not me.”

Natsu gaped at him, “Gods, I am so sorry, I didn’t realize you were dealing with all this.”

“Of course you didn’t, I didn’t want you to. Everyone around me walks on eggshells, worried about whether I might break. But you, you were in my face from the day we met, and I loved it. You, more than anyone else, make me feel normal. You’ve helped me want to get back to a regular life, which is something that Lyon and Rogue had been nagging me about for months.”

“That night at the bar, when you asked me to dance with you, it’s hard to explain, but you sort of showed me what real healthy love was like. Even though you were pretending I was someone else, you showed me more attention than my asshole of a husband ever did. That’s actually when I decided to go get therapy. I wanted to work on myself and maybe get to a point where I was worthy of a love like you had with Lisanna.”

“You always have been, you dumbass,” Natsu thwapped him on the head, “I’m sure the next relationship you’ll be in will be better.

Gray nodded weakly but kept his eyes fixed to the ground. A silence grew between them and before it could turn awkward Natsu broke it, “How long will you be gone?”

“I don’t really know. I figured if I’m stuck there, I might as well finish out some contracts I walked out on. I hired a friend as a temporary manager, and he’s sorting all that out for me.”

“You’re going back to modeling? But what about your school?” Natsu hated the way he sounded so needy as his stupid fear of being abandoned took over once again.

“I might take a few gigs while I’m there, I definitely need the money, and unlike Siegrain I know Hibiki won’t try to take it from me.”

“He was your manager?!” Natsu blurted in disbelief.

“He made it sound so reasonable at the time,” Gray confessed, and Natsu winced at how beaten he sounded.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it like that.”

“No, you’re right. I made a lot of decisions I’m not particularly proud of, it’s another reason I hadn’t wanted to tell you anything.”

“Meh, you’re still doing dumb things, and I haven’t gone anywhere.”

“True,” Gray snorted, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

Natsu nodded absently, running everything he’d learned in the last few minutes through his head.

“Why are you so upset I’m leaving, is it just because of the test?”

Natsu shook his head, remaining quiet as he decided how much of his past he wanted to share with his friend, considering how much Gray had just shared of himself.

“The short version?” Natsu asked and when Gray nodded he began to count off on his fingers,” My mom died when I was eight, my dad abandoned us when I turned nine, then Gildarts came along and got us a new home before disappearing as well. Erza left home to go to college, and Lisanna ran away to Edolas. I got her back, but then she left me again,” Natsu couldn’t help the sadness that engulfed him. “It just feels like everyone I care about leaves me at some point.”

There was a glint in Gray’s eyes that he didn’t understand, but it didn’t seem like pity at least. “Well, I’m touched that you’ve placed me in such company, but unfortunately for you, I am definitely coming back, so don’t go replacing me just yet.”

Natsu just stared at the ground, and Gray moved until he was kneeling in front of him, “Hey, dumbass, I mean it. If I come back to find you’re baking Sting cakes, I’ll never forgive you.”

Natsu couldn’t help but snort at that, and once he started, Gray joined in.

They sat together for a while, watching the snowflakes whirling down from the sky in silence. The question that had been floating around in Natsu’s head finally came out, because as much as he hated to think about it, he wanted to know.

“So... when will you be leaving?”

“Tomorrow morning, we’re taking the first train out,” Gray responded, cradling his head in his hands. It wasn’t hard to see he was dreading the whole thing, “I have no idea how Aki is going to do with this. I’m not sure he even remembers Siegrain, he hasn’t seen him since before last April, and you know how he is with strangers.”

Natsu sighed, feeling terrible on Gray and Aki’s behalf. Aki wasn’t even three years old yet, and he had already been through so much, things that would break the heart of any loving parent.

“Hey!” Gray barked suddenly, “Don’t think this lets you off the hook, you better keep studying, I’m going to call and check on you.”

Natsu gave him a grateful smile, “Okay, but I might wait until you get back to tackle science.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Gray took his hand and squeezed it tightly. “I have to go finish packing, you coming?”

Natsu shook his head, “I should get back.”

They studied each other awkwardly before Gray pulled him into a bear hug muttering, “I really am proud of you. We’ll celebrate when I get back.”

They said their goodbyes, and then Natsu watched Gray walk away from him, wondering why it felt like his heart was stuck in his throat. He shook his head and walked to his car, deciding on a whim to make a quick stop.

0-0

Gray and Lyon had been about to board the train when they heard their names being yelled out somewhere behind them. They turned to see Natsu running towards them, a widely grinning Atlas sitting on his shoulders haphazardly, in a way that made Gray seriously worry for his safety.

He looked down at his watch to see that they still had about twenty minutes before the train was scheduled to leave the station, but it wouldn’t have mattered because Aki had already seen Atlas and was waving excitedly.

“Don’t take too long,” Lyon stated before grabbing their stuff and entering the train to save them some seats.

Gray muttered something in agreement, wondering what Natsu was doing there, considering they had already said their goodbyes the day before.

“Hey, thanks for waiting!” Natsu exclaimed in breathy pants. He set Atlas down only to have Aki grab hold of him, both boys chattering in a way that only they understood, and that made Gray’s heart ache, knowing how much Aki was going to miss his friend.

Natsu grabbed two items from his pockets. They were two boxes decorated with the name of Cana’s store.

“What are those?” he asked curiously.

“I went to Cana’s shop after we talked, I couldn’t stop thinking about Aki and I just- don’t laugh, okay?” Natsu looked embarrassed, but all he was managing was to endear himself to Gray even more. “I had Cana make a protection bracelet for him, so even if I can’t really help him from here, at least I’ll feel like a part of me is with him. She tried to make it look like yours, so he’d like it.”

“Natsu, that’s - I don’t even know what to say! Why don’t you give it to him?” He called Aki over and picked him up in his arms. “Uncle Natsu got you a present.”

“Pwesent?” Aki asked, eyes brightening up at the word, he peered at Natsu expectantly.

Natsu handed him one of the boxes, and Aki opened it, looking at the contents, “Like Dada!!” he cried out, bouncing in Gray’s arms. Natsu took the bracelet out of the box and put it on Aki’s wrist, adjusting it for size. The little boy smiled widely and tried to say thank you.

Atlas remembered his present and shoved a picture Hana had helped him draw of him and Aki at the little boy, who seemed equally excited by it as he did by the bracelet. The station’s loudspeaker came on, urging all passengers headed to Crocus to get on the train.

“I have to go,” Gray apologized, eyeing the other box.

“Oh, right,” Natsu shoved the box at him, much like his son had done earlier. “I got this for you, it’s a protection necklace. But you know, if your ex pulls anything, call me, and I’ll get on the next train and kick his ass.”

“That’s sweet of you to offer, but I’m a Taekwondo Master with about eight years of repressed anger fueling me. Trust me when I tell you, if he tries to touch Aki or me in any way, you won’t be the one he has to worry about.”

Natsu laughed heartily, “Glad to hear it, well uhm, I guess this is really goodbye.”

“I’ll be back,” Gray promised as he waved to them one last time, reinforcing his words from the previous day. The last thing he saw before boarding with Aki was Natsu trying to quiet Atlas’ tears.

I promise

He found Lyon, and after making sure Aki was settled, he opened the box to find a necklace with a sword pendant. The pendant had a stone embedded in it, and as he read the description of all the stone’s qualities on a piece of paper, he noticed there was writing on the back too.

He recognized Cana’s scrawl on the note that read, Don’t screw this one up!

Gray laughed. No, he wouldn’t, not if he could help it. He tried to enjoy the train ride as much as possible, thinking ahead to his return rather than what awaited him on arrival.

0-0

Natsu stared at his GED book with distaste. It had been about three weeks since Gray had left, and even though he knew he’d promised to continue on his own, he just wasn’t getting anywhere. Every time he looked at the damn thing, all he felt was this deep sense of loneliness.

There were no mocking insults when he got something wrong or grudging praise when he figured something out on his own. No coffee from Magnolia Bean or treats bought just for him. Even though Gray could be an insufferable jerk, always making him work his ass off before he was allowed to eat them, Natsu had always felt pride at being able to earn them.

When Gray left, Natsu had thought he wouldn’t have time to miss him too much, but he’d been wrong. Gray was both everywhere and nowhere all at once. Ads featuring him began popping up on the sides of buses, billboards, and pretty much anywhere he looked. The first week he’d managed to call a few times, giving updates on what was happening and letting Aki talk to Atlas, but the last call had been over two weeks ago, and Natsu found himself yearning to hear his voice.

Rogue had tried to warn him that Gray had been in high demand, and once he got going, it was going to be hard to get in touch with him. That there had been times, he’d wanted to scream at Gray’s voicemail, which had been the only way he’d get to hear his brother’s voice, especially when he rarely got a callback. But Natsu had wanted to believe that wouldn’t happen.

Apparently, he’d been overly optimistic. He’d tried calling a few times already, only to be faced with that very same voicemail and no return call. He hated feeling so needy, but somehow Gray had wormed himself into his life, and he hadn’t even realized it.

Studying together twice a week, playing with the kids, Dad’s Clubs meeting, showing up at Crime Sorciere with Lyon, and more recently doing things together just the two of them in the mornings after dropping the kids off at daycare but before his shift at Crime Sorciere began. It had gotten to the point where he saw the guy more often than not, and to go from that to nothing was difficult for him.

In some ways, it reminded him of how he’d felt when Lisanna had suddenly disappeared before he’d tracked her down to Edolas. Through it all, he could feel Erza watching him, although he wasn’t sure just what it was she was waiting for.

Lyon finally returned from Crocus and gave him a rundown of what was happening. The kidnapping charges had been dropped, but Gray and Aki would have to remain in Crocus for the time being. The visitations hadn’t gone well and were on hold for now. When Gray wasn’t working, he was attending depositions with Siegrain’s sleazy lawyer Deliora. Aki wasn’t doing too well with all the changes, and Gray was worried. Rogue was going to be going up to Crocus with the twins to try to help.

Gray was swamped with work. Apparently, he’d walked out on more contracts than he’d initially remembered, but he was doing alright. Now that he was back, a lot of campaigns that had been held back were being released, which is why his face seemed to be everywhere.

Natsu was grateful for the update, but it only aroused an even bigger need in him to see his friend, to listen to him and be there for him. Once again, he was reminded of his time without Lisanna, and little things began to connect in his mind.

It all came to a head when the dreams began. At first, they were innocent. He and Gray taking the kids to the playground like they’d done countless times. Sitting on a bench and talking while the kids ran around. It was a sweet dream, it comforted him, making him feel like he was with his friend at least for a little while, and Gray looked so relaxed. It always made him smile.

Then the dream began to change. They were still at the park, the kids were again running around, but now Natsu was bringing Gray’s hand up to his lips and kissing it, while Gray responded with a lazy smile. That was a little more confusing for him, but he liked that smile. It made him feel warm all over, so he tried not to overthink why he would be kissing Gray’s hand in the first place.

The day soon came where he was confronted with the image of Gray in bed with a woman, eyes fierce and a seductive expression on his face, his body only barely covered by the sheets. It was an ad for some perfume, and Natsu had never hated anything as much in his life as he hated that ad. Hated the way it made him feel to see Gray like that but also hated that he couldn’t get it out of his mind.

It made no sense, it was just a stupid ad, it wasn’t even real, so then why did he feel like Gray had somehow betrayed him. Like all the air had been taken from his lungs. His mind instantly went back to his dream, the one where he had kissed Gray’s hand, and suddenly he found he really couldn’t breathe.

He got home from work, thankful that it was a Tuesday night, and he didn’t have a night shift at Fairy Tail. He outright refused to go to the Dad’s Club meeting, and although he could see Erza wanted to fight him over it, she remained quiet. His mood only got worse when after putting the kids to bed, she asked if he’d seen Gray’s new ad. Her tone had been breezy, but her eyes watched for his reaction, probing him, and he suddenly understood why.

She had known, had seen right through him for months, but instead of talking to him about it, she’d let him figure it out for himself. He wasn’t sure whether he felt grateful or angry. Right now, all he felt was confused and guilty. Lisanna hadn’t even been dead a year, how could he even be having thoughts like this?

“Whatever you’re thinking, it’s wrong,” he seethed, moving over to Lisanna’s shrine and kneeling in front of it after lighting the candle, but it didn’t feel right. For the first time since she had died, it felt like he was clinging to her to hide, and it made him angry with himself. She deserved better than that from him.

“Natsu,” He felt her hands on his shoulders, “It’s okay.”

“No! It’s not,” to his great embarrassment, he began to cry, and he heard Erza sigh.

“Come on, we should talk about this somewhere else,” she blew out the candle and tugged at his arm, trying to get him to stand up. At first, he fought her off, not wanting to discuss anything about what he was feeling, but he gave in eventually, knowing she’d have no problem dragging him to wherever she wanted. She really was scary sometimes.

She sat him down in their breakfast nook, going into the kitchen and soon returning with some hot cocoa and a box of cookies. He tried to get himself together while she was gone, but he couldn’t seem to stop sniffling.

She sat down across from him, handing him a tissue from the box they kept in there. “This was going to happen eventually.”

“But it hasn’t even been a year!” Natsu protested, “It’s not right, it’s not fair to-”

“To whom? To her? Natsu, she’s gone. Do you really think she would want you to mope around forever? To give up your whole life to her as some sort of tribute? Lisanna wasn’t like that, and you know it.”

“I don’t even know what this is,” Natsu groaned, “I’ve never, ugh!”

“Had feelings for a guy before?” Erza guessed, giving him a small smile when he reluctantly nodded, “Yeah, that’ll throw you for a loop the first time. I felt the same the first time I found a girl attractive.”

“I don’t find guys attractive though or women really,” he puzzled, “I don’t look at people like that, I don’t understand, I only ever felt like this with Lis.”

“When Dad left, you refused to give up on him, remember?” Erza swept his hair out of his eyes, just like she used to do when he was younger. “You claimed he was coming right back, and you’d fight anyone who said any different, including Gildarts. You held on to that belief for years.’

She looked at him seriously, “But he never came back, and that messed us both up. Even though we were lucky enough to find a new home, I don’t think either of us really trusted that the same thing wouldn’t happen again. Lisanna managed to get past your defenses though, she got you to see her, and you fell in love. And now Gray has done the same thing.

“You’re only twenty-six years old, Natsu. Your life is just beginning,” Erza’s gaze was kind but stern, “You’re going to be grieving your loss for years to come, and that’s only natural, but there’s nothing that says that you can’t also try to move forward and find love with someone else.”

“This is all so confusing, I can’t handle this,” Natsu murmured, feeling the tears flow once again.

“I know, sweetheart,” Erza rose from her seat and pulled his chair out, enveloping him in an embrace and letting him cry.

“But you know, you’ve already let him in,” Erza let go of him, smiling at his confused expression.

“What are you talking about?”

“The moment you baked him that cake for his birthday, whether you realized it or not, you were acknowledging him as yours. That’s when I knew for sure that you had feelings for him, I’ve just been waiting for you to catch up,” Erza’s eyes twinkled with mirth, “You always were slow.“

Natsu frowned at her remark, deciding to let it go considering there were more pressing issues demanding his attention. “What do I even do? I don’t think I’m ready for anything, and what if he doesn’t feel the same? And what about the kids, what if they hate me?”

“They’re little, they’ll be happy if you are. You’ve done everything in your power to keep Lisanna with them, certainly more than Dad ever did for us, and I don’t see that changing. And they both like Gray and Aki quite a lot.”

Natsu started to say it wasn’t the same thing when Erza interrupted him, “Just talk to him and be honest. I have a feeling he would appreciate taking things slow given his own situation.”

“You really think he feels the same?”

“Natsu,” Erza made sure she held his gaze before declaring assuredly, “I know he does.”

Natsu thought that statement was scarier than his own nascent feelings.

“I need to think about this,” Natsu hedged, still not wholly convinced that he should do anything.

“Of course you do, it’s a lot to take in,” Erza acknowledged, her eyes never leaving him, “Admitting how you feel is only the first step, and you have plenty of time to figure it out. All I’m asking is that you don’t dismiss the possibility out of fear or guilt. You deserve to be happy too, you know.”

Did he? Did he deserve to move on? When Lisanna couldn’t? For the first time since Gray had left, he welcomed his absence, needing time and space to figure all this out before they saw each other again. But as he drifted off that night, he couldn’t help but hope that he would see Gray in his dreams and that there at least, they could maybe move forward.

[lostwithspace]

Alteans, Quintessence, and spirituality - headcanons

The Alteans are a race of people who have worked their religion/spirituality into their life, including their sciences. The main general belief is that each person, creature, thing, is all connected with energy, which eventually became known as quintessence. Unlike the modern Galra, they didn't so much see this as a resource, but something inherent in each thing, and can be worked with to create amazing feats.

Quintessence comes from a space between universes, and pulled out into creatures upon creation, and can be imbued or come to exist in things and places. When it is put into a thing like this, it becomes its own unique force, mostly separate from the mass collection of which it came, although it still remains connected to the source. It can also take on forms outside of physical objects, pulled by a collective consciousness or group of ideas, given shape or form which is held by belief. Either one of these types of collected Quintessence can be wielded, as well as projected as though it had another form, like what some would call a spirit, ghost, kami, or familiar. A person’s particularly strong personal Quintessence can also take on the form of a creature, a part and aspect of their actual being given shape. It can also likewise be imbued into an object, although removing part of a living thing’s Quintessence can be just as dangerous as cutting off a digit or limb. With enough training, Quintessence can even be called upon from inside oneself or from an outside force to be used in various ways, although this practice was frowned upon as it took quintessence from its natural location and forcibly removed, thus depriving the original of part of what made it itself.

Someone touched by natural quintessence, have a natural affinity with it, or practice in using or manipulating it will gain marks on their body, which can differ based on species. This can be passed on through generations, as the children of these people are naturally disposed to be greater receptacle, although this can also be gained through exposure or use. Most Alteans, through their upbringing in their culture, generations of training, and natural affinity of quintessence have these marks under their eyes. If born without, they can be gained as normal, although generally triggered much easier, especially in the presence of natural quintessence.

Over the millennia of evolution and growth into the people that the Alteans were, there are estimated to be an innumerable amount of quintessence beings that have existed. It was theorized there might have been one for every aspect of life, idea or ideal held. Early Alteans believed in and so may have even created ancient gods, but as they grew as a species, came to understand it more, and while those ‘gods’ may no longer exist as they were, the Alteans respect for the power that each being has never truly went away. These spirits, as some call them, exist near the well of the raw natural quintessence, but able to maintain their own form, and view and even possibly enter to the Physical, although normally this is not visible to most people, or they can barely do anything other than exist. Stronger beings usually are able to do more.

The science of Alchemy on Altea is the ultimate form of science and quintessence together. When it was believed they were ready, the original practitioners were led by some of the mightiest quintessence beings to Oriande, a thin spot in reality and where spirits gathered freely, and shown how both physical and spiritual could truly be put together. Technology that responded with thought, or could connect with people in a way that allowed them to act as one, or change forms as needed, responding to the user. Religious figures became scientists, and life on Altea became a center of innovations and industry. 

The most well known and still existing technology that exists is obviously Voltron, and to a lesser extent the Caste of Lions. 

While the Castle was a bit less technologically reliant on Alchemy compared to Voltron, its main controls can be interacted with through Quintessence manipulation. Due to its age and housing the sleeping Allura and Corran for 10,000 years, the castle's quintessence itself has grown quite powerful, and is one of the oldest, strongest pieces of Alchemy that still exists. It was powerful enough so that it has created four physical manifestations, each with their own life, that it uses to interact with the world, as small mice. Even after it's destruction, the castle's mice still remained, for while all that existed that a crystal, the spirit still remained. Allura, having been of a greater wealth and connection with the castle’s quintessence because of her father, was able to even gain a psychic relationship with them, much like the lions with their pilots. A connection like this can also be manufactured as a connection with quintessence beings or the quintessence in an object or person, as Alfor did with Allura and the Lions before she was sealed in the Castle, although this would only have limited uses and not as strong as a natural connection. 

The Lions themselves, are not forms given life. With Alfor's work, five of the greatest quintessence beings which represent each of the 5 Altean elements were given a physical form. Each Lion is in fact a great sacred beast that has long watched over the Alteans and the universe. Sensing a great time coming where they were needed to protect those that they have come to watch over, they came together and created a comet. Launching it from deep in the quintessence well, they threw themselves out, and was able to land on Daibazaal. A small portion was placed into the bayards that each of the paladins use, to allow for greater connectivity with the Paladins, as well to allow the spirits to travel where their new giant forms did not allow. A similar event happened after the destruction of the Castle of Lions, it's spirit also allowed itself to be fused into a form, this time with the Earth ship Atlas.

Much like the castle, any quintessence grouping can survive after its destruction. In the case of people, their spiritual form combines on death, and they continue to exist, much as humans see ghosts, or the Galra have their ancestors (see previous headcanon on Galra holiday). They generally stay around if their emotions were strong enough to maintain their Quintessence from being drawn back again, following after a family lineage, or being dedicated to an ideal, person, place or being driven to remain for one reason or another. Once they're satisfied, their quintessence merges with the background of the universe, and to be reborn. Of course this last part happens if they’re tied or fused into a physical object to hold themselves. 

The Blades of Marmora were actually taught a small fraction of alchemy, which they guard to death greater than any of the secrets that they gather. In the final days of the Alteans, there were sympathetic Galra that hid the few remaining ones away to try and keep them safe, and stand against Zarkon's horribly militaristic control. One of these final Alteans, one who managed to survive a little while after the destruction of Altea, showed the Blades how to call upon a quintessence being, and fuse them into a weapon. Most Galra who do so have an ancestor which they request, to join with them in their fight against the perversion of the Galra. Using a metal that highly resonates with Quintessence beings, they are formed into the namesake Blades. This is why they are only usable by Galra descendants, as the ancestors inside can sense their deep connection.

The rift created by the fallen comet that was created by the lions arrival sparked much interest by Alchemists. It was a hole deep into the raw quintessence that makes up the area between mutliverses. With a joint investigation between Altean and Galra, they learned ways of harvesting and refining quintessence, as well as other source from inside their own universe. Great scientific advances were found, and allowed for a great prospering of both nations. Previous access to Quintessence had been localized to crystallized form created by the Balmeras and other similar creatures, which was usually a lengthy procedure that required sacrifice and ritual, or a lot of effort to mine

Unfortunately, exposure to and the absorbing of raw quintessence directly from the source causes major degradation in a person. Their own personal quintessence, which since birth has became its own being and different than the rest of the universe, doesn't hold itself when exposed, and will be worn away like sand against a current. Only the greatest of a person's emotions and desires can hold onto it's form, blasting away anything else that might exist in a person. This affects a person on all levels.

Deep inside the rift though, there weren't just benevolent or kind creations. As with any being in the universe, there can be malicious and malevolent thoughts, ideas and ways of life. These also exist deep in the quintessence well, and were drawn towards the bore hole. Trying to reach through, they attacked as soon as they were free, and eventually caused Voltron to seal the breach.

The discovery of refining quintessence allows for its use in many things. By stripping quintessence from its form (a person, place, or thing), it can be stripped of the uniqueness that makes up whatever it was pulled from, and moved to containers, to be used in many things, including ship engines. It even has the ability to be used in the medical field, as the raw quintessence seeps into a person or being, and allows their physical body to grow stronger or heal faster. Unfortunately, refined quintessence can also be used as a drug, as it can remove or replace parts of a person, much like raw quintessence. (See headcanon about Galra Quintessence)

With the destruction of most Alteans, and being bathed in the deepest parts of Quintessence, Haggar/Honerva learned of the ancient and previously taboo ways to manipulate it. Gathering a group of specially touched Galra, some that might have distant Altean ancestry, she started to train and create the druids of the Galra Empire. She taught them ways to wield these magics to cause the spread of fear across space.

After the guardian spirits that eventually were placed into the lions had launched themselves from the well of Quintessence, other spirits or beings started to have the same idea. Fortunately, this required a great amount of power that even the strongest being could not pull together to form out of nothing, so there was no risk of any fleeing without purpose. There was a small group though, that did have a purpose and a means. All sentient life has some sense of curiosity in them, and most if not all gain some kind of urge to explore or discover what is just around the corner, either locally or galactically. The beings of these came together, and set out to do exactly that. They threw themselves not just into space, but through spaces. To pass through and experience a wide range of universes. 

Unfortunately, one of these were also sought and bound by another living being, Lotor. Having studied any and all information on the Alteans, he recognized the possibilities with this comet, and harvested it to create his own ship. Built with 10,000 years additional technology from his Galra ancestry, and what he had learned, Lotor made a creation and enslaved a creation that could even challenge Voltron. Whether he was fully aware of what he was doing, is still unknown.

[ridiasfangirlings]

In your ATLA au where Fushimi is a waterbender in Mikoto's fire nation it makes me think that he must be particularly strong since he'd have to adapt to the climate with not a lot of sources of water. Like he'd be like Hama who could get water straight from the air and plants. How do others view Fushimi's ability to do these type of things?

I can see Fushimi being considered something of a natural in this AU, like even though he’s largely self taught he’s extremely strong and has learned to adapt to using his powers even without water present. I imagine in this AU Niki being a waterbender who was expelled from his home probably because he was doing all kinds of illegal bloodbending things and he used to like to use Fushimi for his experimenting, Fushimi meanwhile did his best to hide the fact that he was a waterbender at all but then at the same time he observed Niki in order to learn at least the basics of how to use his powers. After Niki dies and Fushimi starts living on the streets with Yata he does the same, Yata as a firebender can use his powers anywhere but Fushimi had to learn how to survive even if there isn’t water handy (and actually in this AU I could see him being good with the knives as well the same way he is in canon, like Fushimi also likes having a last ditch trump card just in case his bending isn’t an option). When he becomes part of Fire Lord Mikoto’s court especially it’s difficult because there’s very little water around, he’ll often watch the rest of Homra practicing their firebending and Fushimi will just be like sitting by himself not able to do anything and feeling irritated and useless. That’s when he remembers how Niki used to use bloodbending and while Fushimi refuses to do that himself it does give him the idea that there’s really water all around him, he doesn’t need to have a lake or river when he can just pull moisture from wherever he needs to.

Fushimi puts a lot of time into practicing that on his own and then the first time he pulls water straight from the plants in order to use it everyone’s amazed, Yata most of all. I think Yata would be super proud that Fushimi’s so talented, like look at how cool his friend is. Of course Yata’s super loyal to Mikoto and thinks that firebenders are the best, which constantly puts Fushimi’s teeth on edge, but seeing Fushimi using his bending in different ways like this also makes Yata brag a little that Fushimi’s different from other waterbenders, since he can do all these kinds of awesome things that Yata’s never seen any other benders do (and then maybe it happens that when Munakata tries to recruit Fushimi he shows that he’s able to do something similar but in a more controlled manner and Munakata notes that he could show Fushimi how to do this too). The rest of Homra thinks it’s impressive as well, I could see Kusanagi nodding in approval and noting that Fushimi’s very good at adapting to situations, like he doesn’t just give up because his powers can’t be used in the normal way and instead he found a way around that and it probably makes Kusanagi think even more that Fushimi would be a good pick as his successor even if Fushimi is a waterbender.

[weeblifeiscomingbacktohauntme]

QUEER EYE BNHA

I’m watching Queer Eye for the first time and everything goes back to BNHA LAWL

Anyways I’d love to see the Fab Five makeover Izuku because even though he is the actual ray of sunshine I see him being an Adult Disaster™

He’s in the top 5 Hero rank (Look, I’m thinking, like, 23ish so give it like another year he’ll be number one) but he’s so focused on taking down villains that he doesn’t do anything for himself EVAR

-also I’m a Tododeku shipper but also literally it doesn’t matter-

-I don’t know what the FabFive quirks would be but that sounds like a lot of fun, doesn’t it?????-

Anyways

Ochako and Tsuyu are the ones to nominate him

“So why did you nominate famous Hero Deku?”

“I’ve known him for almost ten years and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him put himself first”

“I have to agree -ribbit- he has such a big heart but when he isn’t in uniform he looks like a homeless person.”

“TSUYU-CHAN THAT’S NOT NICE”

_

“Um, Hello. I’m Hero Dek-”

Jonathan probably “Okay sweetie, everyone knows who you are -love what you do, you’re amazing, i feel very safe- but we’re not here to see Hero Deku, we’re here to see Izuku Midoriya”

-

“Would you say you go out on dates often, ever?? At all???”

“I think would I like to. When you’re a pro Hero it’s just a bit harder I think.”

“Look, I understand being to be married to your job. Loving your job. Wanting to be there for everyone all the time. But fact of the matter is, you can’t. There are other pro heroes. And while you are one of the best, you are not Atlas. The world does not belong on your shoulders. Believe it or not, you don’t have to carry all that weight on your own”

*cuts to Izuku crying tears of bitterness, regret, maybe other things*

“I JUST MADE A TOP HERO CRY DOES THAT MAKE ME A VILLAIN IF I’M CRYING TOO”

-

“WHAT DO YOU WEAR OUTSIDE OF HERO WORK!? DO YOU ONLY WEAR GYM SHORTS?!!”

“Well, I didn’t have the best experience when I went to the mall back in high school, so I guess that I’m a little more wary about shopping”

“I heard about that. But listen. I also heard that you tOOK CARE OF THEM BEFORE YOU GRADUATED. YOU’RE ARE LITERALLY SO AMAZING AND WE’RE GOING TO THE MALL RIGHT NOW”

-

“Who lives here?”

“Me?”

“And you and all of your guests are 100% okay with All Might looking at you 24/7 from every corner of the room?”

“I just really admire him!”

“Oy vey I have so much to do”

-

“What would you say is your favorite food?”

“I really love my mom’s katsudon! It always brings me back to a simpler time.”

“And what time would that be?”

“When everyone else had given up on me because they were all so sure I was quirkless my mother never stop loving me. She inspires me everyday.”

*more tears*

“Well, have you seen your mom recently?”

“Not since last month, I’ve been busy.”

“Well, honey, we’re going to learn how to make her katsudon right from the source!”

-

“Is there anyone special in your life?”

“Oh yes! All my friends, All Might, although he goes by Yagi now, my old teachers, and of course my mom!”

“That’s awesome and we’re revisiting that All Might comment because we HAVE to meet him before we are done with you”

“We were thinking romantically. Is there anyone you want to impress?”

“Oh. uh. um”

“Your face is bright red so you HAVE to tell us”

“Well, you probably know him actually.”

“wait. hold up. not only is it a him but we know him?!”

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry but even though you’re 10000% my type because just look at your shoulders, I don’t think we can be together”

“Although anyone of you guys I’m sure would be the perfect partner-”

“Okay shut up. We completely agree but get on with it because we need to know”

“Hero Shouto. He’s uh, he’s amazing. Whenever I see him I want to run with a tail between my legs. I think I would rather fight the strongest villain in the world one million times than ever see him disappointed or upset.”

“Honey. Angelface. Darling. If he isn’t in love with you, I will happily take his place.”

-

*walking through the park*

“So when we talked about your little crush, something stood out to me.”

“Yes?”

“You said you want to run away with a tail in between your legs. Why is that? From what I’ve heard from Uravity and Froppy, you seem pretty close. Practically best friends, easily more if you wanted more.”

“He..he has gone through such a rough life. He’s finally made it to where he’s proud of himself and without worrying about his father breathing behind his neck. You heard about the Todoroki scandal, I’m sure. After that, he shut down for almost a month and I just needed to be there for him. I didn’t want to pressure him into returning my feelings when he was in such a vulnerable spot”

“When did this happen? Feel free to ignore this question if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh no! It’s fine! Uh, I wanna say, maybe a year ago?”

“Did you ever think that maybe enough time as past and you could start something with him romantically if you really wanted to?”

“Well-”

“What’s that thing you’re doing? You’re looking down and shrugging your shoulders like you have nothing to offer.”

“...maybe Hero Deku has something to offer. But I don’t feel like Izuku Midoriya ever left middle school sometimes.”

“You. You are the 3rd most popular hero on the field of thousands of heroes and you’re not even 25 yet”

“But-”

“There is no butts. Not one. Not even yours. You don’t get into that kind of rank by being a powerhouse and taking down 40 villains a week. If that was the case, Hero..uh gosh what is his name again...Ground Zero! He would be ranked as number one!”

“Please never say that in front of him.”

“My point is. Deku takes care of the monsters, the evil geniuses, and the falling buildings. But you, Izuku Midoriya, wipe the tears of children. You stop the crying mothers. You help the elderly with their groceries. You light the hearts of teenagers that strive to be the new generation of heroes. You’re funny, you’re caring, and above all else, you are good.

*izuku literally crying a river of tears*

“If you love this man and he, not by some miracle because you are a catch, loves you back, you should go for it. Because you, Izuku Midoriya, not Hero Deku, not Number Three, you deserve it.”

---

Anyways I can go on and on about this “episode” and actually this was WAYYYYYYY longer than I anticipated but I hope y’all enjoyed it because it was fun to write

[paladinsnevergiveup-blog]

An Open Letter to Voltron: Legendary Defender and DreamWorks

AUTHOR: @astralsheith

SOURCE: https://twitter.com/astralsheith/status/1074317099730919424

READ ON WORDPRESS

What happened to Voltron?

Back in October, screenshots from the final episode of Voltron’s eighth and final season were leaked online. The fandom split down the middle regarding who thought they were real and who thought they were fake and bad behaviour sprung up from both sides. I tried to maintain as neutral a stance as possible, waiting for an official statement to be made but none ever came and confirmation on the leaks came when the final season dropped on Netflix on December 14th. I had always remained hopeful that the leaks were fake, because the implications of them were troubling to me, such as Allura dying and Shiro’s last-minute wedding. My trust in Voltron’s showrunners (Lauren Montgomery and Joaquim Dos Santos) and creative team’s storytelling kept me going and I was, ultimately, excited (if sad about Voltron ending) to see the last season of a show I hold close to my heart.

Lo and behold, here we are, and it is somehow worse than I thought possible.

I can’t say that I hated Season 8. They were some stunning and powerful moments, to be sure, and as always, Studio Mir’s animation was incredible and breathtaking. The documentary episode was clever, dynamic, and brilliantly animated. Honerva’s arc as the show’s final villain was, in my opinion, one of the strongest points of the season. But when the dust settled after I’d finished watching I realised how disappointed and hurt I felt by this season. How, in the end, Voltron’s final season largely felt...hollow. As if the passion and heart that had been put into the previous seven seasons had been lost or smothered somehow. And the air of silence from the showrunners, the cast and crew that has bookended both the build up and response to Season 8 feels not only deafening but damning to how this final season ultimately turned out. Both the cast and crew and the fandom should be celebrating. The show ending may be bittersweet but ultimately, we should be celebrating the successful final season of an incredible show that has given so much to so many people.

Instead, people are crying - out of disappointment, hurt, a sense of betrayal. People are physically sick. Unable to eat. Unable to sleep. Children (Voltron’s supposed target demographic) are upset and confused by what transpired in Season 8.

What happened? What happened between SDCC of this year - when the cast and crew seemed so alight with passion and love for the show and the fact that they’d achieved the momentous feat of having a queer main character like Shiro - and now, with a final season that has left fans in pieces and its showrunners seemingly running as fast as they can from what their beloved show ended up being? For what purpose is this the outcome? Did LM and JDS get tired after working for so long on this show? Did they bite off more than they could chew? Did DreamWorks and other IP holders decide to, ultimately, take matters into their own hands and mold the final season into the Voltron they’d wanted all along? Robot action, transformation sequences, power-ups - those are all amazing if there’s some meaning behind them. That did not seem to be the case in Season 8. Season 8 was something separate in terms of its story and its characters than what had been developed in Seasons 1 through 7.  

What happened to Voltron?

There are several things that are wrong with Season 8 that I could discuss. How about I start with Shiro? Shiro is my favourite character in Voltron and has been from since I started watching the show. At first glance, he might seem the prototypical hypermasculine and stoic leader type but there was such a kindness to him, a willingness to look out for his team no matter the cost, that made him different. An ambition to explore the universe and a passion to help people in need. A sense of humor that was dorky and dark in equal measure. He dealt with trauma. He faced immense adversity. Yet he survived. More than that, by the end of Season 7, he seemed to be thriving. Former Black Paladin of Voltron and current Captain of the IGF Atlas. And he was a gay man - a gay man not defined by his sexuality by any means. There has always been so much more to Shiro than meets the eye. Except in Season 8 - in Season 8, for the most part, all that made Shiro so wonderful as a character in a so-called kid’s show was...gone. He was “Captain”. He shouted orders and directions and rarely did his personality get any real chance to shine. The arm-wrestling in the episode Clear Day was probably the most engaging Shiro was as a character in the entire thirteen episodes. He didn’t have to be the focus of the season - that was clearly Allura and Honerva and that’s great - but he should still have been the character we’ve come to know and love and admire over the last two years or so. But he wasn’t. He just wasn’t.

Furthermore (and I am well aware I might just get written off as a “spiteful shipper” for this), the relationship between Shiro and Keith in Season 8 all but vanished. Putting aside the question of whether Shiro and Keith being canon as a romantic couple was ever on the table for Voltron, their strong friendship was all but erased from Voltron’s “canon” in Season 8. This is a relationship that has been a pillar of the show since the very beginning. Keith’s introduction to the show was him saving Shiro. His first bit of dialogue on the show was Shiro’s name. They’ve had near-entire episodes dedicated to their relationship - Across the Universe, The Blade of Marmora, The Black Paladins, A Little Adventure. What other duo in Voltron can boast that? Maybe Zarkon and Honerva but not even they - as two of the main villains of the show and the catalyst for the entire war that takes place throughout Voltron’s story and plot - have that much plot and character attention as Shiro and Keith have had regarding their bond. Shiro and Keith have soundtracks specific to their relationship.

What could possibly have happened to warrant the kind of erasure they faced in Season 8? How is it I can point to several moments throughout Season 8 where Shiro and Keith’s relationship could have continued to shine yet there was almost nothing there? Was it censorship? Was DreamWorks and Co. unable to handle a gay main character having a close relationship with his male best friend? Because it certainly feels like that’s the case - a fear of what Shiro and Keith could have been by the end of Voltron (even as best friends) and a desperation to backpedal. Was it “think of the children”? Yet how are you “thinking of the children” when Lotor’s melted corpse is allowed on screen? Is body horror and violence “safe” for children but meaningful relationships involving queer main characters are not?

And then there’s Shiro’s wedding in the “epilogue”. I won’t deny that the image of a gay main character such as Shiro, marrying and kissing another man, isn’t (on the surface) powerful in its own way and could perhaps prove to be a gateway to more male queer representation in Western animation. Yet when that man is a man I only the know name of because I watch Voltron with captions, when that man is mistaken for Shiro’s dead ex partner by Netflix’s audio description, when that man is marrying Shiro at the seeming expense of Shiro’s entire character, it can’t help but feel cheap. A PR stunt for “representation points”. A quick-fix due to the backlash Voltron faced after Season 7 and Adam’s death. There’s no weight or true meaning behind it. No development. The fact that Voltron’s supervising producer last work for Voltron that he posted on his Instagram was him drawing and animating Shiro’s wedding weeks (September 13th) after said backlash kicked off (mid-late August) does not feel unrelated or coincidental to me. It doesn’t feel genuine. It doesn’t feel true to the story Voltron’s been telling these past 2 ½ half years.

Allura. Oh, Allura.

I can’t think of a solid reason why the decision was made to kill Allura off. I’d like to think that the original idea was to have Voltron be sacrificed but DreamWorks was reluctant to let go off the eponymous robot and Allura was the only character close to powerful enough to be convincing of rebooting all realities, along with Honerva. But who's to say that’s even close to the truth? And why not have it be solely Honerva? I would have believed that if they were truly committed to a “redemption in death” for Honerva. Why Allura? Why go against Allura’s character of arc of moving away from destructive self-sacrifice, learning to trust her team, finding a new family in the paladins? Why have the paladins so readily accept Allura’s decision? “We are always stronger together” - yet Allura is the only paladin to sacrifice herself? She faced so much loss as a character - why have her lose her life, too? Allura was never meant to be a martyr. She was meant to live. To move past her father’s legacy and help rebuild the universe. Lead her people. Experience Altea again. And the relationship between Allura and Lance in Season 8 was wonderful and sweet but in light of Allura’s death can’t help but feel somewhat contrived for maximum emotional impact when they say goodbye. Allura’s death, ultimately, felt unnecessary, unfair, and ill aligned with what I thought were Voltron’s primary themes. Power of love, of friendship and family, of teamwork. What’s the point of a team if, in the end, they do very little to help save the universe and the burden is left on one person alone?  

And the rest of the team in Season 8 suffered, too. Pidge barely interacted with any of the other paladins. Hunk displayed some great moments with his love of cooking and how that helped people but the heroics he displayed in Season 7 seemed to fall to the wayside. Lance’s signature goofiness seemed to get lost in his constant worry over Allura. I am grateful for his newfound maturity but it shouldn’t come at the expense of what made these character so distinct in the first place.

I have loved Voltron. I still do, even if I am currently working through these difficult emotions regarding its final season. I have defended it in the past from irrational “critique”. Seven seasons of great storytelling does not vanish in the wake of a troubling and disappointing ending. At some point, I will continue with my rewatch. Right now, I think that would be difficult. I’m not trying to point specific blame at any one person or party in particular, as I don’t know the truth of what happened during Voltron’s production (as much as I would like to). I just know that Season 8 felt like a lie. Not only a lie but a bad lie. A transparent lie. And I and so many other dedicated fans would greatly appreciate the truth. I don’t need to see what Season 8 would have originally been, if there is such a thing. I can honestly quite easily imagine it, because Voltron’s previous seasons had set it up so thoughtfully. But I would be grateful for an explanation, for a break in the silence, for someone involved with the show to come forth and help the fandom move forward in the wake of Season 8.

What happened to Voltron? Tell us, because we’re ready to listen.

[slashtakemylife]

Voltron x ATLA x LOK fusion

A prompt or idea of sorts of the Voltron characters that follows a bit on the ATLA and LOK storylines with little changes, I also added a bit of Voltron’s lore into it

It’s a bit long and I in fact cover 3 arcs from beggining to finish but there are some blank spots which is why it won’t be made into a full fic but I hope you enjoy the ride

Allura, an airbender and the Avatar finds herself in the last and most prominent of the Air Temples being decimated by the Fire Nation, in order to protect her from the Fire Lord’s rage, her father, knocks her out and send her with Coran and her bison away, they catch a storm and when they go down the water she freezes them

- time skip of only a few years - (10?)

Keith, is a firebender from Republic City looking for his missing brother Shiro, his last clue sent him to the South Pole were a stranded Fire Nation boat may have more information on his wereabouts, he sees a south pole-ner? looking at his reflexion on an ice, he tries to bypass him but Lance, a waterbender from the South Tribe spots him, he then wants to capture Keith, who he thinks is a Fire Nation soldier, to impress the ladies and fellas at home however Keith gets the upper hand and easily defeats him, leaving him on the floor covered in snow, Lance in a tantrum brings forth a giant ice that has Allura and Coran along with their bison, named something that I would love if it sounds similar to the Castle of Lions (Cas? just straigth out Castle?)

Allura doesn’t trust Keith because he is fire nation, Keith doesn’t give af and leaves them to reach that ship and they separate, Allura goes with Lance, however Lotor, the exiled prince shows up, Allura can easily beat Lotor but he sends his soldiers to attack the village.

After Keith finds what he needed in the ship, he knows Lotor is attacking them due to the smoke of his ship so he goes to help, that is how he gains Allura’s trust, Keith tells them he is looking for Shiro, he is an important metalbender that has helped keep Republic City safe, however he was sent to Ba Sing Se to help protect it with a few of their squad, they succeed but he ends up captured, there are rumors on him being alive but no one can do anything, thus Keith leaving, he knows he is close

Allura, Coran, Lance and Keith go save Shiro from an ice prision, (long haired Shiro), he has no arm but when he finds metal he uses his bending to create one, while his metal arm works as a natural hand, he still needs some adjustment time to get used and learn how to bend with just one arm, he tells them their most important task is to protect and train the Avatar, Republic City is the most advanced, heavily protected city and is filled with masters that would gladly teach the avatar, btw Allura can’t reach the pasts Avatars and her Avatar state is either weaken or she just can’t reach it, they think it’s a spiritual thing, remember this detail ;)

And then this is the reason this is just like a prompt because basically the next part is just Lotor giving chase and shenanigams happen, in the middle they find Hunk, an earthbender who’s village has been taken by the FN and took his father, they liberate them all and he joins them in their quest, they go to an air temple were a group of non benders has taken over the temple, they were seeking refuge from the fire nation and found the temple, they are tech junkies, once the FN took notice there was someone in the temple they attacked, their inventions helped protect them but with little resources they knew a second wave would decimate them, Sam agreed to be taken away so long as the temple was spared, his son was also taken away as guarantee, Katie Holt just knows his father and brother mysteriously disappeared, leaving Colleen in charge, she escapes as goes by the name of Pidge to avoid being discovered and joins the team

So they reach Republic City (I have to say it’s mostly Adashi but there is story, bare with me please) were Shiro (obviously) reunites with his husband Adam and gives them a place to stay in their home, he wants to announce Allura as the Avatar and begin her training, Adam tells him not to, apparently there is a new issue

Sendak, the equalist, they say he can take bending away and has been kidnapping benders and striping them of their bending to create a benderless world, the kidnappers are expert at close combat that use chi blocking and electricity to kidnap them, this makes Shiro nervous, so they wait out

Next day finds Adam not going to work, Shiro asks if it’s okay given the situation and Adam says he is just a worried husband caring for his recently appeared husband

The truth is the next, Adam is the highest ranking non-bender in the police force, they obviously prefer benders and of course there is the police force of only metal benders, Shiro is a high rank officer (even Chief maybe?) before he was deployed to aid Ba Sing Se from an incoming attack, Adam had a hard time proving himself as a non bender in the police force, the way he reached the top was with his amazing fighting skills and chi blocking, he uses the later to handle benders, so many people in the police force were wary of him, everything Adam fought for, all the time he took to convince the benders he was equal to them, died in 5 seconds when this radical dude showed up (ADASHI TIME! Can I interest you with in-training yet prodigy metal bender Shiro crushing hard on also in-training Adam as he decimates his 5th bender opponent with his bare non-bending hands?)

While they had yet to investigate him fully, he feels uncomfortable since everyone is suspicious of him, some think he is their true leader. So Adam is using Shiro as an excuse to ask for an early vacations to take care of him and also, Adam does want to take care of Shiro, come on! He hasn’t seen Shiro since his deployment nearly four years ago and after he was announced as missing in action, his little brother who lives with them, just dissapears as well so yeah, Adam is not letting his boys out of his watch Ever Again

Again there’s a reason this is a prompt or I don’t know but smth smth happens, Allura is discovered to be the Avatar, they find Sam, he knows part of Honerva’s plan I’ll cover in a few, smth smth, time skip XD then Adam is having an interview done, since he is the highest rank non-bender they want an interview regarding the recent equalizer events, in reality they just give an introduction on who Adam is, the interviewer does the “what you think” question and goes to commercial

There in the radio booth is Sendak and he wants Adam to support the movement since he is one of the most prominent non-benders there is, transmission comes back and instead of a pro-equalists speech, Adam makes a pro-benders one (even mentioning how the love of his life it’s a bender for extra tears)

So anyway, Shiro realizes it’s a trap and he desperately tries to reach Adam but unfortunately Adam gets kidnapped because he refused to bow down to the equalists

In reality, Sendak takes them to Haggar, she is in Republic City because it has the biggest concentration of benders and the most powerful as well as diversity, so the bending is just her taking out their spirit energy/quintessence, leaving them benderless, she trained Sendak to be a blood bender in order to temporarily chi block their bending and make them faint enough for her to act

They go to save Adam but in there, Shiro finds Adam, he is brainwashed and tells him he should allow Haggar to take his bending away so they could have a happy benderless life, away from the battlefield like Adam always wanted, Shiro is one of the strongest benders there is so they do use Adam as bait for him, he has no choice but to shock Adam unconscious, still he losses his bending before Allura can get there, Haggar with so much spiritual/quintessence energy from taking the benders and now one of the strongest, Shiro, goes against Team Avatar until only Allura is left and she also sees she can energy bend even if it’s a little so she is able to defeat her but she escapes, she restores Shiro’s bending as well, btw Lotor also reached Republic city and gets a redemption ark, he changes like Zuko in Ba Sing Se and goes to Team Avatar to reveal that Haggar wants to release Vatu and make Zarkon a dark Avatar

The third ark is they discover the story behind it all, so here it is:

We go back to the paladins of old, GoodZarkon is the Avatar, great friends with the previous Paladins of Voltron, a group of representatives of each nation that helps the avatar with it’s affairs, they had the issue of Vatu being released, you know the 10,000 y/o, it was with them that happened so they make plans to imprison him again

However GoodZarkon’s wife, Honerva believes she can put an end to this cycle because every 10k years each avatar has to deal with him, you just need one avatar to fail for everything to be over, she has been studying spiritual leaves and vines from the spirit world and finds their energy source, which she names quintessence, we all have it, in fact that is what allows benders to bend but spirits can use quintessence at will for so much more, she actually wants to release Vatu and make something with him, not imprison him

Vatu could have tricker her into thinking this would put and end to the squabble, of course they all disagree but shit happens and Honerva is badly injured, maybe a spirit passes through her and she get’s weird? Vatu tells GoodZarkon that with the combined power of him and Raava inside him, they can heal Honerva, so he releases him and tries to contain both entities inside, but only works for them to fight inside GoodZarkon, Vatu just wants to have his cycle like Raava and have her be locked away, the paladins come over and manage to separate both entities out of GoodZarkon, they imprison Vatu and release Raava for her to look for an Avatar, since it was Alfor the one who physically releases her to the world, unbestknown to him, it makes Raava latch onto his energy signature and thus falls into a days old Allura

Leaving GoodZarkon “dead” and out of the cycle but actually he and Honerva both survive as Zarkon and Haggar, since Zarkon had Vatu inside him and Honerva is now kind of spirit crazy Haggar, few years later they kidnapp the current Fire Lord and go to the spirit world were they find the face swapping spirit and they exchange the face to that of the current Fire Lord into Zarkon so he becomes Fire Lord

Zarkon slowly begins his quest of conquering the world but really he is looking for the Avatar because he wants to be the Avatar again, he wants to drag Raava out of Allura and into him again or, release Vatu and take him instead, Haggar is in charge on finding where he is and how to release him, the old paladins sealed the entrance

There was peace in between the old Paladins fight with Zarkon and his supposed ‘death’ were Allura grew but one day the Fire Nation went crazy (they face swap, it’s Zarkon now) and started to want to conquer the world, they were able to keep him contained but they struggle and Zarkon is incredibly powerful due to having previously had both entities inside his body, he retains his core element bending which is fire, and lays waste on the air nation, the paladins join once again to defeat him but without the avatar they can’t do a thing, Alfor knows Allura (now grown up) is the avatar but he considers she’s still to young, Allura wants to fight, wants to fulfill her destiny but one day Zarkon finally lays waste on the final air temple, Alfor sends her and Coran away

Back to the present, The Paladins knew the Fire Lord was previous Avatar Zarkon but said nothing to no one, they just said he died while saving the world from Vatu, that is the reason Allura can’t reach the previous Avatar since the link is broken since Zarkon is not really dead but he’s no longer the Avatar? She finally strips away any connection and finally can connect to previous Avatar and reach the Avatar state at it’s full potential

Big fight, they win, end

[patienceyields]

I Need A Hero: Some Last Thoughts on Shiro the Hero

Before S8’s premier, I’m sitting here like a good Shiro stan, feeling proud of my boy’s development. And feeling so grateful that we met this Shiro through Voltron, and that they had to bring him back to us — this amazing character who represents so much as a symbol on so many different levels — a gay icon; a man of color main lead; a disabled action hero; a trauma survivor who overcame so much adversity. As someone who gets up and fights and fights and fights. 

It was a pleasure seeing Shiro’s arc come full circle in S7 with him returning to Earth to captain the Atlas, with Shiro getting his own mech connected to his own quintessence/heroic destiny — one that he has a mental bond with much in the same way he had with Black. It is exciting to know that he is still a paladin in his own way, that he is still able to defend the universe alongside his old and new teams. Shiro is in his element again — a leader, a source of inspiration, a teacher, a mentor, a hero — a Champion of the universe (and not just in a Galra-run gladiator fighting pit). Going into S8 I hope this is something he can continue to offer those around him — both to the Voltron paladins and to his own crew of the Atlas as they go into this last epic battle.

Shiro as Atlas, the greek mythological figure that holds up the heavens; and Shiro as an atlas — a guide, a map, a template, a source of direction. Shiro has been a supportive hand, a guide and guiding light to his teammates, and his death and survival have been a fundamental part of his team’s destinies.

“I don’t know what’s more fulfilling than being a paladin.” — Kuron’s words carry the essence of Shiro’s heart, the fact that he gets so much fulfillment from his work to save others. What would be greater than being a warrior fighting for good in every universe? Being of service to a greater power/mission, helping people, defending people? Shiro’s journey toward the Atlas is his journey back toward his inner power, strength, and heart work, allowing him to take his own advice and to “Go. Be Great.”

I think a lot about Shiro as a survivor — of illness, of torture, of enslavement, of medical experimentation, of imprisonment. There are just some characters that teach you how to survive, how to keep going in the face of the impossible. Shiro is that impossible boy. The boy who never should have survived (was never meant to), and I think he understands this. Every day is a gift, and every fight is worth having if it can bring freedom to the universe.

I think a lot about how Shiro knew from the beginning that he didn’t have long to make his dreams a reality, knowing that Kerberos would be his last chance at piloting a mission (a dream he had since reading about the Calypso mission which made him want to become a pilot) — the three-year mission to Kerberos was his last chance to see the universe and to live life on his own terms. I think a lot about what that mission ultimately meant for Shiro — capture, death, resurrection. But also a life-altering bigger destiny.

I think about Shiro and his relationship to his body — illness, disability, visual sacrifice, as well as a place for summoning his reserves of unbelievable strength (physical and mental). Shiro’s body was/is a weapon — honed that way by the Garrison first, and then by Haggar and her Druids. Shiro’s body was always going to be something he would willingly sacrifice for the larger mission — space exploration or war. Shiro has been a clone, a double, and he’s been thousands of bodies falling through space — we may never really know what he feels when he looks at himself, knowing how his body has been used as a Galra gladiator and as a project by Haggar to infiltrate into his team. Shiro's trauma has always rumbled just below the surface but made itself visible in his physical/bodily scars (his missing arm/the stress changing his hair color) and through his mental scars — his manifestations of PTSD. And Shiro’s body has so often been out of his control — due to his illness, his enslavement, and his time in the Black Lion’s consciousness. But now having a new body (and a new arm), and having a new chance to enact his heroic calling through the mind-body-spirit connection he has to the Atlas, is so important. He can use his body to once again guide his team toward saving people.

I think about Shiro and worthiness — his childhood dreams of space, of making a difference, and then fighting to prove himself worthy in the face of his illness (to never thinking he would live long enough to follow his dreams, and to having to prove to himself and others that he could succeed despite his illness). I think later to his time as slave when he had all choice taken from him, when he was forced to hurt others to survive. I think of the moments when he doubted his worthiness as a paladin because of that time in the arena, to the moments when he thought himself broken or a monster for what happened to him (Sendak’s words echoing from S1). But now he has a chance to save, to prove his worth again.

I think about Shiro and his team — “I had help.” Those words always floor me. This show is about teamwork, found family, and the incredible bonds forged when people come together for a common goal. Shiro voicing that he couldn’t do it alone, that his team helped him to keep going despite all he went through is so important. And then we remember all the ways Shiro supported, protected, guided, and mentored his team. Shiro had to learn to forgive himself for the loss of his first team, forgive himself for any danger faced by the young paladins he’d been able to lead into battle during his time in Black. I love that moment in S7 when he’s so dang proud of the paladins after they were able to connect with their lions. And I am never not thinking about his life-changing, incredible friendship and mentorship of Keith, which set the stage for Keith as the current Black paladin. Shiro saw a leader in Keith and this, my friends, changed everything. Shiro’s belief in one boy and this one boy’s belief in him would change the universe. The interconnectedness of their leadership arcs and storylines are a core part of the overall Voltron story. Shiro’s leadership journey came full circle with the dynamic team-up between Voltron and Atlas, allowing Shiro to find his own path toward leadership again, one that mirrors his own rebirth/rebuilt nature and his own heroic destiny.

I think about Shiro’s words in S1 when Allura told him they didn’t have his Black paladin bayard — “I guess I’ll just have to make do.” I feel like this was something Shiro had probably done all his life. Figured out a way to make do, how to fight with what he had (grit, perseverance, hard work), even if he was limited in resources. For him to become one of the best pilots of his generation, breaking orbital velocity records!!!, and to become the youngest pilot ever to lead a mission into space (what could he have been: 21, 22, 23?!) — what sacrifices this must have taken, what inner strength/perseverance. The words he said to Keith in S7E1’s flashback say so much — “People can accomplish incredible things if they’re willing to put in the time and effort…” I think about how this alongside his mantra of “patience yields focus” must have fueled a teenage Shiro in his dedication to his role as a soldier, as a pilot, as a leader. To be the best he could be no matter what.  

I think a lot about Shiro and family and home and what comes next — about Shiro (seemingly) not having a blood “family” to send a video back to in S7, and not having an image to focus on outside of the Kerberos mission in S1 when everyone was envisioning something in their heads when they were trying to connect as Voltron. I think for so long Shiro had his mission(s), ones he didn’t think he would live beyond. So the idea of anything or anyone to return to on Earth didn’t exist. I think a lot about what it meant for him to have found family with Keith, with the Holts, and with the rest of the paladins, and what his greater role as a Captain (or Admiral) of the Atlas will be post-war and what his role as part of the new Garrison leadership could be, teaching and mentoring future pilots and leaders.

I think a lot about Shiro and his stoicism and his vulnerability — in many ways he is your fearless, ever-steady, stoic hero figure, groomed for leadership. I have a friend who served in the military who talks about how as males in the military they are taught a certain kind of masculine buttoned-up, silent stoicism, and they are taught to regulate emotions to the back burner, not to let feelings surface, and to be in control of their emotions at all times. I see this in Shiro as he works to present a calm demeanor to the world. We don't know much about Shiro's backstory before his early mentorship of Keith, and the end of his relationship with Adam, and the impact of his illness on his chances of going on the Kerberos mission. What we can see on screen is a natural leader, but also someone who tries his best to be level-headed, and to project a cool, calm, strong, patient, and self-controlled demeanor that can help his team focus on their mission. Shiro watches, observes, and doesn’t openly show much of his own vulnerability/fragility — he’s been shown to be hyper-vigilant at times, and some of his strong professionalism and guardedness are likely forms of protection much like his uniform can be seen as his outward protective armor (whether this is a response stemming from his military training, from his PTSD/trauma, from dealing with his chronic illness, we can only guess). For his team he aims to always appear strong and reliable, which is why it’s powerful when we see him with Keith, letting go of some of the outer “always together” facade, letting his guard down, allowing himself to be vulnerable, and finally feeling a sense of trust, safety, and security with someone else.

Shiro, the impossible boy. Who never expected to survive his most famous mission, but would go on to be a major part of the story of how the universe was saved. I am excited to see him in S8, with his new lease on life, his calling in full effect once again, fighting beside so many people he himself inspired and taught — all working together as a team to defend the universe.

“We can do this. We have to believe in ourselves. We can't give up. We are the universe's only hope. Everyone is relying on us. We can't fail! We won't fail!” This speech he gave in S1E1 was probably the speech he gave to himself during his darkest hours growing up, during his time in the fighting pit, during his time in the Black Lion’s consciousness, during whatever moments he allowed himself to feel fear or doubt or any sense of insecurity. Words meant to inspire and propel into action. I am looking forward to Shiro’s inspirational words that will set his team off in S8. And I’m looking forward to him and the rest of the paladins winning this epic war.

Thank you Voltron for giving us Captain Takashi Shirogane, such a legendary defender.

[roseisread]

My Year in Movies: Favorite Non-2018 Feature Films (Part 1)

I watched a LOT of movies this year. At last count, I had logged 229 features and 126 shorts; and that doesn’t count rewatches--only movies that were new to me.

I set a few challenges for myself as well this year. The first one was to watch at least one non-English language/US release per week--this exposed me to so much world cinema and some really amazing filmmakers. Anyone who avoids foreign films because “I don’t like subtitles” is really missing out, and I found myself craving these narratives from voices I don’t ordinarily get exposed to in my everyday life. 

Other personal challenges: Watching as many horror movies as possible in October (with horror defined pretty loosely so I could include entries from silent era and onward, as well as some comedy cult classics that have horror/thriller elements); participating in Noirvember (in addition to attending Noir City in Chicago); crossing off some major blindspots from my list (such as Bicycle Thieves, The Producers, Lethal Weapon, A Few Good Men, Grease, Home Alone 2, Brazil, and Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom); and trying to watch movies and short films from every decade that motion pictures have existed.

In 2019, I hope to do similar personal challenges with a focus on movies made by women, LGBTQ+, and people of color, in addition to filling in the gaps of my classical/canonical movie knowledge. 

OK, so that’s enough preamble. Let’s get to the list! For this list, I’m excluding movies that were released in 2018--that’s coming but this is for movies released before that. 

50. Linda Linda Linda (2005, directed by Nobuhiro Yamashita, country of origin: Japan)

High school girls recruit the Korean exchange student (Doona Bae, of Cloud Atlas and Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance) to join their rock band a few days before the school talent show. This is just a feel good film, recommended if you enjoyed the likes of Sing Street, We Are The Best!, and The Runaways. Unfortunately, it’s out of print in physical form; but last I checked someone had uploaded it to YouTube so you might want to get on that before it’s removed. You can watch the trailer here.

49. The Blue Dahlia (1946, directed by George Marshall, country of origin: US)

This film noir stars Veronica Lake and Alan Ladd, and like any good noir, it deals with dark subjects including murder, blackmail, political corruption, and PTSD. It’s been on my watchlist for a long time, and thanks to Noir City Chicago, I got to see it on the big screen at the Music Box Theatre. For small screen viewing, you can catch up with it via rental on Vudu, Amazon, iTunes... the usual suspects. 

48. Siren of the Tropics (1927, directed by Mario Nalpas and Henri Etievant, country of origin: France)

My dearly departed Filmstruck had a spotlight on the films of Josephine Baker, and this was among them. I fell in love instantly with the lively, beautiful Baker, here playing a woman named Papitou who deals with some super scummy dudes but manages to be herself in the face of all that nonsense. Silent films can sometimes be tougher to engage with for modern audiences, but this one flies by and contains some unexpectedly racy sequences for the time. Its racial politics don’t meet today’s cultural standards, but considering Baker’s parents were former slaves and their daughter went on to become the first woman of color to star in a major motion picture, this is still a landmark film worthy of our consideration. She broke down many barriers and contributed a great deal to both the entertainment world and the Civil Rights movement, and this serves as a nice entry point into her career. It’s available on DVD through Kino Lorber, and hopefully one day soon it’ll pop up on another streaming service that carries on the Filmstruck legacy.

47. I Don’t Feel At Home in This World Anymore (2017, directed by Macon Blair, country of origin: US)

Here’s a film that goes to some unexpected places. I had no idea what to expect from Macon Blair, who frequently appears in the movies of Jeremy Saulnier; but in his debut feature for Netflix, he pulled out all the stops. Hilarious, violent, and intense, with memorable performances from stars Melanie Lynskey and Elijah Wood, this is a movie about getting in over your head and just going for it anyway. I don’t want to tell you about the plot because it’s best discovered through watching--just go to your nearest device and add it to your Netflix queue. 

46. Song of the Sea (2014, directed by Tomm Moore, country of origin: Ireland)

Absolutely gorgeous animation from the team that previously brought us The Secret of Kells, and a touching story that combines family and mythology. I adored this one. Watch it on Netflix or rent on the usual streaming sources--for a preview, click here. 

45. Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942, directed by Michael Curtiz, country of origin: US)

I always watch Independence Day on the Fourth of July; but in 2018, I decided to mix it up and cross this patriotic musical off the watchlist. I’d seen James Cagney’s gangster movies like White Heat and The Public Enemy, but seeing him sing and dance was a whole new joyous discovery. This movie is entertaining, funny, touching, and full of iconic sequences that other films would go on to borrow from. I absolutely loved it. Pretty sure I saw this on Filmstruck originally, but since that’s no longer possible you should be able to find it at your local public library or you can rent it for a couple bucks on Amazon, YouTube, iTunes, and the like. 

44. The Man Who Cheated Himself (1950, directed by Felix Feist, country of origin: US)

This tightly wound noir thriller pits brother against brother against the backdrop of 1950s San Francisco. Lee Cobb plays an aging bachelor and an accomplished police detective who falls for the wrong dame. His younger brother, played by John Dall (Gun Crazy, Rope), has just joined the police force and idolizes his older brother. Trouble strikes when the dame murders her no good husband and needs help from Cobb to cover it up. Naturally, Dall gets assigned to the case and as he begins to piece together the clues, he doesn’t like where they’re leading him. The climactic sequence is one of my favorite endings to a noir film, and I’ve seen a lot of them. Watch it for free if you have Amazon Prime; otherwise, there are a few versions uploaded to YouTube of varying quality or you could wait for it to pop up on TCM. 

43. Los Angeles Plays Itself (2003, directed by Thom Andersen, country of origin: US)

This documentary edits together clips from movies of every era that were filmed or set in Los Angeles, and explains through voiceover narration the significance of each location and the history of the motion pictures in LA. That’s it--very simple concept but also fascinating. I split this up over a couple nights because it’s pretty long, but if you’re a film fan or a Los Angeles native, this is well worth your time. The voiceover is kind of hilariously flat in its delivery--kind of a Steven Wright sound actually--but that sort of adds to the charm for me. Get a taste by watching the trailer, and then you can rent it on YouTube for $1.99.

42. A Simple Plan (1998, directed by Sam Raimi, country of origin: US)

It’s been almost two years since we lost Bill Paxton; I don’t know about you but I don’t think any other actor can really fill those shoes. This year I caught up with three films that showcased his talent: A Simple Plan, One False Move, and Frailty. He plays very different characters in each one but in many ways they all start off with a similar premise: Ordinary guy dreams of becoming more. What that “more” is for each character is what sets each film and performance apart, but Paxton provided a great canvas to paint these unique characters onto. He inhabited the ordinary man better than just about anyone. 

In this film, which I watched during Noirvember, Paxton plays Hank, a college-educated guy working a blue collar job in a small town, trying to make a better life for himself and his family. He’d like to get away from those small town roots, but his socially awkward brother Jacob (Billy Bob Thornton) relies on him. Unfortunately, Jacob is often accompanied by the hard-drinking loose canon Lou (Brent Briscoe). When the unlikely trio discover a crashed plane in the woods containing a suitcase full of cash, they each have ideas for how to handle the situation. Of course things escalate from there, and the way the movie explores human nature and family ties set this story apart. Available for online rental on the usual platforms.

41. The Iron Giant (1999, directed by Brad Bird, country of origin: US)

Given my obsession with Vin Diesel in the early 2000s, it’s pretty shocking I never saw this movie til now--sure, he and his glorious muscles don’t appear on screen, but he does provide the voice of the title character after all. When the Iron Giant made a controversial cameo in this year’s film adaptation of Ready Player One, I decided it was time I saw the source material for myself. 

This gorgeously animated fable unfolds during the Cold War era, and features an ET-inspired story arc of a young boy befriending an unlikely being that the government is looking for. If you’ve never seen it, this is definitely a must-watch. Currently available on Netflix, but rentable on other platforms too.

40. The Unsuspected (1947, directed by Michael Curtiz, country of origin: US)

I adore Claude Rains, star of this film and supporting actor in Curtiz’s more famous work, Casablanca. Here, he plays the host and narrator of a popular radio show that revolves around tales of murder--basically the Law and Order: SVU of its day. We learn early on that he sometimes draws inspiration for his broadcasts from real life criminals. When people in his own life start dropping dead, the plot thickens and he finds himself at the center of the action. A very suspenseful and well-plotted film noir, which is available from the Warner Archive collection on DVD. I got to see it at Noir City Chicago, and loved every second of it. 

That’s all for this entry--stay tuned for part two of this list, posting soon! 

[kbrown78]

Top 5 Wednesday

https://www.goodreads.com/group/show/118368-top-5-wednesday

Topic: Favorite Magic Systems

Personally I love a good magic system. I think that if done right it can really help flesh out the story, world, and characters. While I was working on this list, I noticed many similarities amongst several magic systems in books. So instead of just listing the books then talking about each individual magic system, I'll break down what some of my favorite magic systems are and a couple examples of them.

Learned Magic: This type of magic is by far my favorite type of magic, particularly when symbols and potions are used. I like how technical it is and how involved it can be. The most well known example of this is probably Harry Potter, and it is amazing. I mean a whole school set in castle where you get to learn how to do spells, make potions, care for magical creatures for SEVEN years so you get to see the evolution of the magic and how it gets more complex as the students get older. Another good example is the Abhorsen trilogy, and while the story is okay so far the best part is the magic. It uses symbols called Charter marks for a variety of reasons, but the most important one is that it binds Free Magic, which is wild magic. There is varying levels of detail depending on the objective, but it can be incredibly complex. Aside from symbols, the Abhorsen trilogy also uses sound as a form of magic. There are bells and whistles that necromancers use to bind the dead. Similar to Harry Potter, it's a fairly complex magic that has to be learned and I think the bells add a unique element to it. There's also the Swords and Fire series, which actually has two type of magic systems. One is learned magic, relying on symbols, mechanics, and a lot of study which is shown in the Serene Empire. To the north is Vaskander, where Witch Lords rule and are tied to living things through blood. While neither system is as explicitly detailed as the first two examples because the protagonist isn't a magic wielder, both are distinct and intricate. I would also like to mention  the Grisha from the Grisha trilogy because while it does take training to be a powerful grisha, this isn't gone into much detail. Also the Night Circus, which is so whimsical and atmospheric and there is again training involved, that part is mostly glossed over and we see the end result. It is interesting though that one of the main conflicts in the Night Circus has it's roots in the question of if magic is a nature or nurture matter.  

2. Magic Object: This may initially sound like a magic item with a will of it's own, like the One Ring in Lord of the Rings, but what I mean is that the item is a conduit for magic. This one is very hit or miss for me, usually depending on how I'm feeling at the time and how it ties into the story. A couple examples of this being used in a way that I like are the Snow Like Ashes trilogy and the Girl of Fire and Thorns trilogy. Now I won't be very good at describing the magic itself because there aren't finite rules attached to it, but I will try to explain how each example works. In the Snow Like Ashes trilogy, these magic items are specifically referred to as conduits and each one is distinct and represents the kingdom that it controls. There are also rules that address which gender of royalty can wield it's magic, what's limits are, and what happens if it's broken. It isn't the most structured system, but the fact that there are limits prevents to from being an easy solution. I also think it ties into the plot and themes well, dealing with the balance of power. The Girl of Fire and Thorns has a single magic item, a stone in the naval of the protagonist, and while it is important part of the protagonists identity and there's a lot of history surrounding it, but the plot and characters are expanded well beyond the Godstone. The stone is important and powerful when it used, which is quite infrequent because the stone seems to mostly respond to location or intuition, but the story is so good even in the absence of the stone that it could almost be told without the stone altogether. Almost, and that almost is exactly why the Godstone as a conduit is such a good device.

3. God Given Powers: Now while there are probably several examples of this type of magic, there are only two that come to my mind but both are good and I want to mention them. The first is American Gods, which has actual gods. What's interesting about this is the ultimate source of the god's power is the belief humans have in them. So the less humanity acknowledges a god's existence, let alone worships them, the power a god's has fades and at one point they can disappear altogether. The other example is Percy Jackson, where most of the characters are demi gods, human offspring of the gods. So while not super powerful, they do exhibit traits of their divine parents

4. Elemental Magic: This just means that a persons power is derived from one of the four elements, and for this I have one example and I will explain why. So that example is Avatar the Last Airbender. I love ATLA and I love the magic system, with entire nations being shaped around what element the people can bend. Most of the bending is used for fighting, again with each element having their own style of bending, but it can also be used for other purposes which helps give rise to the various sub divisions. The reason that I'm only using this one is because there are some other examples I can think of, but most are explicitly based off ATLA.  

Thank You Everyone

Keep Calm and Keep Reading

[herocentral]

Voltron Season 7 thoughts and theories

Well folks I’ve just watched season 7 of Voltron all 13 episodes worth (yes they back on that system) and I must say its been the most adrenaline pumping season of the lot!

To start with episode 1 which was a good way to show the characters life on Earth before the Kerberos mission and how Keith met Shiro in the orphanage. I think what that episode showed was that a lot of people even the teachers were neglecting Keiths potential as they said he was undisciplined for the Garrison but Shiro saw something else in him and got him the chance to prove himself. 

What surprised me the most was the fact Shiro had a disease. This was something we didn't know about and he didn't show any sign of illness in past seasons. This compromised his ability to go on the Kerberos mission until Sam made his case and got him on the mission. He also had concerns from his partner which was a good addition to Shiro’s back story as we don’t seem to see him talking about his family much in the show. Adam was right to show concern but was still unsupportive of his boyfriends choice. This shows another side of Shiro’s character when he puts his mind to something he sticks to it no matter the circumstances. 

What I found harsh was having Adam killed off during the Galra invasion of Earth that did a blow to Shiro when he returned home, but at least he had the consolation of knowing that Adam died a hero God rest his soul.

I rather found the interactions of the passengers during the road trip rather funny, Allura and the Wolf disagreeing, Corans alphabet singing, Romelle’s curiosity of the red lion just funny its basically road trips in a nutshell. What I found intriguing was that the Paladins had been reported missing for about three years, this was possibly due to what happened after the quintessence field battle with Lotor and after sealing the rift, time must pass differently just like in the Quantum abyss. In that time Zethrid, and Ezor became warlords in the turmoil of the Galra empire after Lotors demise but Axca turned on her fellow generals and decided to help the Coalition which shows what I suspected since her debut in season 2 there was some good in her and Keith helped bring it out. Who knows maybe there is something between them as Ezor said. Then theres Haggar who had her druids find the blades and wipe them out since their operatives were exposed when they allied themselves with Lotor but hopefully Kolivan and Krolia will bring the Blades back into action.

But seeing Krolia leave her son a second time was heart renching, but at least this time Keith was awake for her goodbye.

The game show episode seemed a rather nice touch on the comedy front of the series and having returning characters like Zarkon, Lotor and Morvok was a good twist. What was constant was the Paladins bonding as a team with Keith in charge again since in season 3 they didn't have chance to bond with the lions well since Shiros disappearance into Black’s consciences. So having them without their lions and showing they came together by fate shows how they developed and grown together and the fact they formed Voltron again using their connection. 

Then theres Voltrons new found power with the Black and Red Bayards, they didn't ignite the sword but gave Voltron and awesome Jet pack! 

Seeing in the few years when Sam arrived on Earth was a good thing to show just like how Keith found his mother whilst the whole Oriande quest was going on. What strikes me is how the admiral wanted to keep what Sam learned under raps but Sam and his wife ended up going behind their backs to show the world of Voltron, The Paladins, The Galra everything he’d learned and Iverson actually stuck up for him which was a surprise given the first episodes. 

I found it heartbreaking when the Paladins returned to find their home in ruins, but to see them reunite with their families was the best sight of all, and the fact Keith and Iverson made amends with each other however it seems Griffen may have different opinions given the last time they saw each other Keith kicked his but which in fairness he deserved for talking trash about Keiths parents. 

The fact that they built the Atlas to replace the castle was amazing it looked like Skybase and the castle of lions put together, but seeing it integrate the diamond from the Castle of lions helped greatly, but the biggest surprise was that Shiro connected with the Crystal and made the Atlas into Atlas Voltron! IT WAS AMAZING no Vehicle Voltron but still pretty good. However it does mean this is getting awfully close to being more Power Rangers than Voltron. 

Some point I knew Sendak and Shiro would have a rematch and how Shiro kept up with his new arm which was amazing showed that the two were evenly matched. In terms of Shiros new arm I think the reason Shiro crashed as they were installing it was because it was rejecting his bio signs with the power source until Allura installed the jewel from her crown into it. Its not as good as the Galra hand but it does pack a punch. 

The scene where Keith struck Sendak down with his Bayard was epic though I was expecting him to say “Say hi to Zarkon for us!” That would've been pure greatness. However just when the battles won a new threat comes a Robeast no coffin this time and has the same powers of the Komar device. I have a suspicion that Haggar created that robeast to face Voltron and drain his quintessence but again it failed. I was rather tense at moments in the show such as the Admiral betraying her people just to save the earth which whilst noble was naive as you can't bargain with Sendak. Then there was the moment with the Zaiforge cannons about to destroy earth but the lions and Atlas prevented it. 

The ending where everyone from the universe came together to honour those who fell in battle was just what the season finale needed to remember the fallen and to be reunited with their families Hunk especially as the Galra being on Earth and taking his family was hard on him but we got to show Keith show some sympathy for his fellow Paladin. The shock of finding an Altean in the mech was a surprise and could be the subject of season 8.

On that matter what will happen next, with Zarkon, Lotor and Sendak dead that only leaves Haggar and the Druids. Kolivan said that the Altean colony was empty when the Blades arrived most likely since Haggar beat them there thanks to hearing the story from Keith and Krolia through the Clones eyes. What does this mean what is Haggars agenda now? Honestly I gave up guessing her agenda since season 5 in quoting Ezor “Too complicated” 

Questions are raised, new discoveries found but for now Earth is saved and the Galaxy Alliance is born better watch out Haggar in quoting Optimus Prime “Leave planet earth alone, because I’m coming for you!”  So until Season 8 lets hope its soon LONG LIVE THE DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE!

[tipsycad147]

What’s Your Nature Spirit according to Your Zodiac Sign

By The Alchemist

Zodiac Signs were always considered as 12 different aspects of Mothers Nature. There is no good or bad Zodiac Sign as there is no Good or Bad Nature Spirit. However, not all Zodiac Signs are compatible with us. Everyone of us is unique. We’ve already seen each Zodiac Sign’s association with Magical Abilities.

What’s Your Nature Spirit according to Your Zodiac Sign

In the same way, each Nature Spirit possesses different abilities and attributes. Based on your Natal Chart, one can know with what Nature Spirit is closer to you. Every Nature Spirit has an affiliation with one or more Zodiac Signs. Each Nature Spirit represents a different aspect of Mother Nature, a different force which should always be respected. Learning about the powers of each Nature Spirit will help us co-operate with Nature Forces.

Aries: Salamanders

Salamander, according to Paracelsus, the greatest medieval alchemist, is the noble elemental spirit of Fire. These magnificent creatures usually dwell in Volcanos or inhabit house fires who literally give them life. This is why if you have a fireplace, it is likely to have a majestic Salamander around you. Although their poison is lethal, these creatures are also believed to possess antidotes and cures for many diseases.

Their personality is extremely fun and enthusiastic just like Aries. They are usually over-whelmed by their passions. Love and friendship are the most important values and they always listen to their hearts, which is the source of True Fire. Moreover, amongst every Nature Spirit, a Salamander, is one of the bravest and the most reckless. They seem to be attracted by danger and adventure.

Living with an Aries, is like embarking on a never-ending exotic adventure with a passionate Salamander, masters of fire.

Taurus: Pixies

Pixies are wonderful spirits of nature who dwell in the forests and other fertile and blessed sites of Mother Earth. These creatures are drawn by the beauty of nature and can become very possessive and over-protective about their home and the things they love – just like Taurus. It is said, that they love to sing around or dance in circle, together with forest animals. This is why they form circles known as fairy or pixie rings. These territories are believed to be portals to their Realm and a beacon of Pixie Power.

Often, these magnificent creatures become tricksy and love to mislead humans. There are numerous accounts of people who got lost because of pixies and their game. However they never mess with the ones who love to sing along their journey or the ones who carry bread with them. Food and Arts are sacred to them, exactly like Taurus. Pixies – and Taurus – respect the truth and the warm hearted people.

Living with a Taurus, is like breathing their enchanting pixie-dust every moment of your life.

Gemini: Sylphs

The ‘Sylphs‘ or better ‘Sylphides‘ are elemental creatures of Air. Hence they reign over winds, clouds and storms. They love inhabiting the air. Therefore they are literally everywhere! Moreover, due to the nature and qualities of the element of Air and according to the system of the greatest medieval alchemist, Paracelsus, sylphs love bridging between material and spiritual realm, acting some times as messengers. Winds are believed to transport Sylphs. This is why – talking to the Winds – is believed to be so magical. Because the Winds DO listen!

Sylphs are REAL! I mean they make their appearance noticeable every time they want. If you have a cat, notice how they stare at nowhere after a storm. Sylphs may be inhabited your room! They are very intelligent and they can give you protection when traveling or bless you with inspiration and luck in intellectual works.

Ever moving, ever watching, ever listening they are agents of information and inspiration, just like Gemini.

Living with a Gemini, is like having a sylph around you all the time, protecting and inspiring you with the secrets of the World.

Cancer: Undines

Deriving from the latin word for Waves, Undines are extremely enchanting creatures. They are believed to be powerful Nature Spirits – elementals of Waters, inhabiting forest pools, lakes, waterfalls but also sacred wells. Moreover, Undines are blessed with a mesmerizing voice. They love to sing over waters plays or creating wavy swirls. Listening to their voice over the sound of water is a sign that the conjuration for Undines was successful.

According to a tradition, Undines are soulless. Hence, to become immortal, they have to marry a mortal. Only then they can live forever. However, the mortal should be faithful as they cannot stand to be betrayed. They are moody and can even become extremely jealous. Just like Cancer, Undines are lovely and can provide a life of love, magic and devotion. But the moment they feel betrayed they can change and flow away like the water!

Living with a Cancer is like eternally swimming around the blessed waters where Sylphs dwell. Show Love to them and explore together their magical depths.

Leo: Griffins

Griffins are amazing creatures which are commonly depicted half lion half eagle. Although Griffins are found in almost all civilizations, most of our stories from the Ancient Greece. The chariot Nemesis, the Goddess of Diving Justice, was drawn by powerful and sometimes vengeful griffins. Furthermore, exactly because of this, we see many alchemical and occult depictions of Griffins driving chariots – like the Tarot Card ‘the Chariot’. Moreover, Griffins are found resting on the ‘Wheel of Fortune’. This is direct symbolism for Karma – the Divine Justice – Nemesis.

Griffins – as Leo – are noble creatures who protect Justice and Truth. They are brave, never fearing or flinching. This is why they are the Nature Spirits who are associated with Leo. Griffins are inspiration for Leo, drawing power and vitality from them.

Living with a Leo is like always being being accompanied by brave creatures ready to defend and inspire you.

Virgo: Hesperides

Hesperides, also known as the “Nymphs of the Evening”, where three magnificent daughters of Nyx, Goddess of the Night. These heavenly ladies were living a far western corner of the ancient world – they were also called ‘Nymphs of the West’ – located near the Atlas mountains in North Africa at the edge of the encircling Oceanus (god of all Oceans). They were protecting an enchanted garden where an apple tree grows, producing magical golden apples. Anyone who ate one would instantly become immortal and young. This was the wedding Gift of Mother Earth – Gaia, to Zeus and Hera, king and queen of all Gods.

Hesperides, were stunning ladies who were protectors of many powerful artifacts. The were also called ‘Atlantides’ and its was believed to inhabit the ‘Isles of the Blest’ or ‘Fortunate Isles’, a place where there was always summer. According to Greek religion, the islands were reserved for those who had chosen to be reincarnated thrice, and managed to be judged as especially pure enough to gain entrance to the Elysian Fields all three times. Talking about perfectionism… right?

Hesperides, just like Virgo, love gardens, herbs, flower and handy artifacts. Moreover they can devote their lives to something they believe is sacred and valuable. Their beauty is uncanny. It was believed, that the orange-red color of Sunset comes from Hesperides and their enchanting garden.

Living with a Virgo, feels like being eternally cared, protected and adored by Nymphs.

Hesiod tells about Hesperides in “Theogony”: “And again, Ceto bore to Phorcys the fair-cheeked Graiae, sisters grey from their birth: and both deathless gods and men who walk on earth call them Graiae, Pemphredo well-clad, and saffron-robed Enyo, and the Gorgons who dwell beyond glorious Ocean in the frontier land towards Night where are the clear-voiced Hesperides, Sthenno, and Euryale, and Medusa who suffered a woeful fate: she was mortal, but the two were undying and grew not old. With her lay the Dark-haired One1in a soft meadow amid spring flowers”

Libra: Fairies

Fairies is a special race of beings, who bridge the Realms of Spirits and the Realm of Humans. It’s hard to find a civilization who did not believe in fairies. They are powerful and when the time is right they love to appear and meddle with our affairs. Fairies, just like Libra, are delicate yet moody creature who can turn into vengeful spirits at no time.

Fairies need to be respected. They punish the irresponsible and irreverent ones but at the same time, they bestow unimaginable powers to those who respect nature. Fairies live in a very well structured kingdom, with kings and queen and other types of powers. They are loyal. Sometimes, they love to marry humans and give birth to extraordinary children. (Check here if you descend from a fairy Blood-line).

Fairy, is a nature spirit which loves peace and beauty just like Libra. They will do anything in their power to preserve harmony. When time is right, they will fight and destroy the ones who dare to challenge their ‘manifesto’. Peace should prevail at any cost.

Living with a Libra is like dancing with fairies always trying to beautify and harmonize your life and destiny.

William Shakespeare in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” devotes to Fairies: “The king doth keep his revels here to-night: Take heed the queen come not within his sight; For Oberon is passing fell and wrath, Because that she as her attendant hath A lovely boy, stolen from an Indian king; She never had so sweet a changeling; And jealous Oberon would have the child Knight of his train, to trace the forests wild; But she perforce withholds the loved boy, Crowns him with flowers and makes him all her joy; And now they never meet in grove or green, By fountain clear, or spangled starlight sheen”

Scorpio: Nereids

Nereids are the nymphs of the sea. Enchanting, magnificent beings who have power over the waters. The Nereids can be extremely helpful to humans, saving sailors after a shipwreck. Nereids are actually the souls of the Waters. They embody anything that is mysterious and beautiful about the sea. Furthermore, Nereids – just like Scorpio – are very powerful empaths, able to feel what others feel. This is why they love to help.

Nereids, the souls of the Sea love to sing and dance around the waves caused by their father. Moreover, the usually appear crowned with branches of red coral and dressed in white silk robes. Red and White are the two major colors representing the two primordial forces of male and female. Hence, Nereids, carry the ‘Alchemical Marriage’, the union of both forces making them extremely enchanting and passionate. They were part of Poseidon’s entourage and carried his trident. Why?

Because Nereids, just like Scorpio, are not passive. Poseidon is mighty and Nereids can actually engage in fights.

Living with a Scorpio is like ever dancing and singing with the passionate nymphs of the Sea, exploring all the mysteries of the sea and the depths of one’s emotions.

Sagittarius: Dryad

Dryads are the spirits of trees, the Souls of the Forest. They love to inhabit trees but their existence do not depend on the tree itself. Contrary to ‘sister’ spirits – hamadryads – they love to go our from the tree they dwell and dance around the forest singing and following other companions of Goddess of hunting – Artemis / Diana , and the God of Wine and Ecstasy, Dionysus.

Just like Sagittarius, they love adventure. Although they love and respect their roots and families, they don’t like to get too attached to them. They long for freedom, adventure and wisdom. Dryads, love to hang out with those who admire and can learn something (like God Dionysus and Goddess Artemis).

Moreover, even the Word ‘Dryad’ reveals their divine and royal origin. Dryad comes from the greek word ‘δρυς’ which means Oak, the most powerful and respected from all trees as it’s the symbol of the King of Gods, Zeus ( and Thor). It was also believed, that he or she who dares to hang out with dryads, must always be ready to embark on dangerous and reckless adventures. Exactly like Sagittarius, which sometimes their lives make no sense for anyone but them.

Living with a Sagittarius is like hanging out with wise and beautiful dryads, always loving to learn and experience more. Be ready for an adventurous but NEVER boring life.

Capricorn: Gnomes

Gnomes are the Earth Elementals who love to inhabit caves, forests and mountains, practicing their craft, ever evolving it to the most wonderful level. Gnomes are keepers of their oath and protect their properties with sophisticated traps and magical spells. Moreover, they are hard workers but also extremely social. They are a dwarfic tribe. Their height itself, implies how close they are with the Earth and its magic.

Just like Capricorn, they are very ambitious yet sometimes can become greedy, trying to keep their treasures at any cost. However, they are loyal and honest, keeping their word, whatever it takes. Although it’s hard to convince them to help you, once they agree, they will keep their word. Gnomes form well-structured and highly advanced societies. Spirituality and technology comes hand to hand.

Gnomes might sometimes look snobbish yet they’ve got a warm and true heart. They are also very brave but not reckless. Although they don’t ask for trouble when the time has come, they will fight and probably win due to their strategic and brilliant mind.

Living with a Capricorn, is living with a hard-working, loyal, passionate and brave creature who is always ready to do whatever it takes to build an abundant home for both of you.

Aquarius: Elves

Elves are considered to be the most magical creatures who clearly don’t seem to belong in our material plane. Their bright eyes, light complex and silver hair make them so unique and so rare. Although they are extremely social, just like Aquarius, creating vast cities, they tend to be peculiar, picky and snob sometimes.

Aquarius is associated with Elves because of their amazing ability to see the World in a very different way than us. Their Agile personality brings them closer to Aquarius than any other sign. Moreover, time seems to flow in a different way for this Zodiac Sign, just like the Elves who are either immortal or live for much more years than us. Elves are crafty and their civilization is extremely advanced.

Living with an Aquarius is like sharing your life with a brilliant, elf-like creature who is ready to invite you in a magical world.

William Shakespeare in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” devotes to Elves: “Elves of hills, brooks, standing lakes and groves; And ye, that on the sands with printless foot, Do chase the ebbing Neptune, and do fly him When he comes back; you demy-puppets that By moonshine do the green-sour ringlets make Whereof the ewe not bites,”

Pisces: Merpeople (Mermaids, Mermen)

Merpeople are enchanting creatures which usually live underwater yet rarely come out of the sea or lakes to see meet with ‘land-walkers’. Merpeople are found in almost all civilizations. This is no coincidence. Of course these creatures are real yet the choose to cover their tracks.

Pisces are associated with Merpeople because of their empathic, sensitive, intuitive, mystical, fragile personality. Like Merpeople, they chose to live underwater, in a similar yet different world. They rarely face reality in the same way as most humans. According to ancient traditions, Merpeople carry a mirror (another symbol of illusion and different plane) and usually comb their magnificent hair, while singing songs about the lost civilizations and great kings. They radiate a mystical sweetness which is able to enchant anyone. The fact that they live underwater is not because they don’t care about the humans. On the contrary. They are extremely sensitive and they tend to be disappointed from cruel behavior.

Having a Pisces with you, is a divine gift if you don’t disappoint them. The ones who hear their songs are considered the luckiest and most privileged.

William Shakespeare in “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” devotes to Merpeople: “Once I sat upon a promontory And heard a Mermaid on a dolphin’s back Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath That the rude sea grew civil at her song And certain stars shot madly from their spheres To hear the sea maid’s music.”

https://www.magicalrecipesonline.com/2018/04/types-nature-spirit-your-zodiac-sign.html