#atercygnus

[relabso]

         ❝ i cannot believe you are nervous! i think i’ve never seen you this nervous! ❞ 

[xbetterfeared]

         ❝ so you’re the infamous scarlett lefurgey. louise has told me all about you. ❞

@atercygnus

[veinastro]

       “you’re distracted.”  he noted quietly across the table. she had come to his dorm with books in her arms, eyebrows knitted with frustration. and he knew that look. that was the look she gave when things didn’t go as planned. when something fell through.  henry.  “did he miss another skype date or something? why are you so upset? it’s really distracting to see you display any sort of emotion.” 

@atercygnus 

[volchnok]

      “ i believe this is from the hills of the south of france. stepped on by the feet of a seventy year old grandmother who had been making white wine since the 60′s. or it could be something out of a box. i don’t know shit. “ 

[relabso]

          it had been a rough week. something he was dreading, something he should have told her. but they had just gotten serious, he didn’t want to put this burden on her. she deserved better than to deal with his problems.  so he stayed quiet and stayed quiet. but he could feel the dreadful day approaching, the cold inching it’s way into his chest. making sleep difficult. making it difficult to stay awake. he was just so tired.  so, he was surprised when he saw her at the doorway, her blue eyes looking at him and he didn’t know what to say.   ❝ how did you know i’d be here? ❞

@atercygnus

[relabso]

        "you know my eyes are up here.”a teasing grin as he grabbed hold of the popcorn bowl from her hands and took her hand to come sit on the couch with him. “so what are we watching tonight?” 

@atercygnus​ ;)

[xbetterfeared]

          “ you know melody’s pretty worried about you.” picking up a fry, he took a bite before he looked at the girl sitting across from him.  “ did you two have a fight? ” 

[xbetterfeared]

               he recalled being angry. he recalled being disappointed.that was not the speech that they had planned. that they had rehearsed. it was something all together something that was a danger to everything they had created. but even sheep must have a new patch of grass to eat. and oh his daughter had provided.  cutting into the steak and placing the meat in his mouth, he looked across the table to see his daughter before raising his eyebrow. “ it’s sunday dinner and yet my daughter has nothing to say? now that’s new.  �� 

@atercygnus

[xbetterfeared]

           “it’s been quite a while since you came to one of our sunday dinners.” taking out another glass and making a second portion of old fashioned. “i saw from the papers that you are back with henry ackerman. that pleases me, tell me he is coming to your brother’s charity gala. ”

[xbetterfeared]

       “ oh my god...the rumors are true.  i think i might cry. my baby cousin....a rebel. fucking a muggle wizard and a gryffindor no less!” 

[xbetterfeared]

What am I to you? ( @ thomas )

    ❝ stupid. ❞ he said in a low voice. almost hissed as if the very question was a waste of his time and it was. he didn’t have time to coddle his children. he had taught them better. he taught them how to survive. how to be smarter. how to be one step ahead. to always be concerned about one thing and one thing only: the lefurgey.  ❝ i taught you better, didn’t i? ❞

   that boy made you stupid. that boy made you weak. that boy made you vulnerable. he shouldn’t have let her go so far ahead with that boy. that ackerman. this wedding, whatever happened there, he should have told her to come home to dc. to help with her brother’s career. she is breaking and he hates broken things.

   he would not handle anything but the best. he did not need a dull knife. he needed someone sharp. he needed someone that could easily slit the the throat of anyone he desired without needing more force than necessary. ❝ stupid little girl with stupid questions. despicable. ❞ rising up to his feet, he towered over her. she was still that small little girl that he picked up from the slums of that god forsaken village. she was still moldable. she was still to be made in his image. to be his perfect daughter that will cut better than any knife.  ❝ you are my flesh and blood. you are my child. and i do not have weak children. i don’t have children that are weak and stupid. i don’t have children that need their father to pat them on the back when they do a good job. i need children to know when their actions are good enough, and so far, asking what you are to me. is a stupid imbecile question. a disappointment of my flesh and blood to think that she needs affirmation to be know who she is. you are a lefrugey. end of conversation. ❞

[volchnok]

The rage is the one thing I get from my father.

      the clicks of the keyboard never stopped, not even when she came in. she had come in saying she needed a break. at first he thought she would be on top of him, but instead she sat down on the couch in his office, picked up the porg plush and just sighed. what was shocking wasn’t her presence but her silence. she would normally be talking 70 miles per minute. she would already be yelling at the top of her lungs, knowing this room was soundproof about how much she hates her job. about how much she hates her clients. that they are guilty and how dirty it makes her feel.  so as he kept his head on the multiple screens on his wall, he stared and stared.  ❝ so are you having a good day? normally i would be losing my hearing in one ear by now.  ❞

       her response a scoff and then a whisper.  the rage is the one thing I get from my father. hands freezing at that point. would she notice that his breathing got a bit more quick, would she notice? his eye straying to the tiny folder that simply said: kovat. (a forger. a lefurgey) hand clenching tightly. he quickly pressed pause on the pop song.   ❝ you never know. it could be from your mother. russian rage is untamable, you know? ❞ a light smile thrown over his shoulder to look at the lawyer who seemed so normal right now. the woman who can make grown men cry looks normal. scarlett lefurgey will never cease in surprising him.  ❝ i’m sorta glad. it would be weird to think that i’m fucking a female version of your father. ❞

[relabso]

I don’t blame you for not knowing how to remain soft with me.

       since when did scarlett lefurgey have such a small voice? since when did she look so small as she stood in front of him? since when did—always.  he thought quietly. she was like this when she came back from dc. she was like this when she had a bad phone call. she was like this but she just hid it from him. she was louder than— words that rang in his head, of when they were younger (maybe wiser). of when she was in his arms, and he was lazily playing with her hair as they watched the notebook.

       he remembered what he said as she voiced her concern. how she was afraid of the next year when they wouldn’t be together in the same school. he recalled smiling at her and whispering i could never leave you, forget you, want anything but you.

       but he did. oh he did leave her. he tried to forget her. he tried so hard to want to be someone else that wasn’t her—or did he? did he even try? he could remember that he even said her name when he was with another woman. he could remember it all. the regretful nights of trying to forget her laugh. the time he he got sick and saw her, and how she teased him as if no time had passed.  but as he looked at her, arms crossed defensively as if she was afraid to let him in. he knew it was his fault. he shouldn’t have left. he knew that. he knew that for such a long time that he didn’t even know how to voice it. he shouldn’t have tried to forget her. because she was unforgettable. 

        she had carved a place in his life, his mind, his heart. she had made a place for herself with a smug look and he couldn’t get rid of her because she was a part of him. he shouldn’t have thought that anyone could come close to her. that he could want anyone else. ❝ you should. you should blame me. because it is my fault. ❞ he whispered softly. ❝ it’s not that i didn’t know how— ❞ he let out a sigh and put his head in his hands. ❝ i just didn’t know if it was enough. if you wanted me. it wasn’t that i didn’t know how to—it’s just that i couldn’t then because i didn’t know if you still wanted me. —it wasn’t about you. it was my ego. it was my—❞ a sharp inhale as he looked at her, broken and vulnerable. she could leave him. she could forget him. she could become sharp again. but she was here. and he didn’t know what else to do. ❝ i couldn’t be soft anymore because it hurt to know that wasn’t enough from you.  ❞

[volchnok]

               there it was again. she was scratching her wrist again. she’s staring out the window, it was as if she was a million miles away. her normally bright and playful blue eyes are darker--like a shadow had went over them. melody had mentioned that it was her monster that haunted her and it was best to leave her alone. but dimitri was lonely and bored. and honestly crazy pigtails over there always seemed to be interesting. she always seemed to capture his attention. so as he slid across the wooden floors, he sat down in front of her, sipping his juice box before he tilted his head to the side. “hey pigtails what’s on your mind? mel is sleeping and i don’t know where stick up his ass is.”