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rainisawriter · 1 year ago

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Accept Me As I Am – Ryu (PSF #17)

Ficography

Genre: Fluff, angst, slice of life

Prompt: Encouraging someone to achieve a goal (@flufftober)

Word Count: 3,325

Pairing: Reader x Ryu

World: The Rampage

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Being surrounded by a group of sixteen attractive men, several of whom tended to go around without shirts, could make anyone feel self-conscious about their own weight. For as long as you could remember, you were heavyset, even as a child. You hated it when you were younger but you reached a point in your life where you had come to accept that you were a bit bigger than most.

This confidence started to falter when you joined LDH as a hairstylist, working with the Rampage boys. They were all so beautiful and fit that it was hard to feel okay in your own skin as a heavier person. It probably didn’t help that most of the other staff were also skinny and quite pretty.

At first, you really didn’t give it much thought. You were there to do your job and get your check so you could pay the bills, but then you started to get close to the boys. It wasn’t a hard thing to do because they were such sweethearts that cared deeply for others. They didn’t treat you like an employee, they treated you like a friend.

You kept reminding yourself that you and them were on different levels and, even if they treated you like a friend, you weren’t actually friends. You didn’t speak to them outside of work, you didn’t have their number, and they didn’t know much about you. Despite this, you started to look forward to going to work.

A couple of your coworkers took notice of this, though. They worked as stylists, choosing and altering the outfits worn by the boys during shoots. They also didn’t like you simply because you were a foreigner who had come to Japan for work. This contempt toward you only got worse the closer you got to the boys.

It started out with just dirty looks and insults whispered among themselves, but it started to get worse over time and they stopped hiding it. Well, they stopped hiding it from you but they made sure to act kind and overly sweet when the boys were around.

You did your best to ignore it, but everyone has their breaking point.

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You entered the Rampage’s dressing room, offering a smile to your coworkers as you headed toward the back of the room to set up your station. The first person you would be working on was Ryu, so you plugged in the curling iron so it would be ready when he arrived.

When Hana entered the room, she glanced around to make sure none of the boys were there before she headed over to you, a smirk on her lips. You felt dread settle in your gut when you saw her but you forced a smile anyway.

“Good morning, Hana-senpai.”

Her eyes scanned your body. “I can’t believe you’re wearing that. You’re a lot braver than I am.”

You frowned, glancing down at the clothes you were wearing. It wasn’t anything special, just your favorite outfit that felt comfortable to wear. What was wrong with it?

“It makes you look so much fatter,” she barely managed to hold back her snicker. “Then again, if you’re looking for attention from the boys, it’ll definitely work. Not good attention, though.”

You shifted your weight from one foot to the other, about to ask what she meant when the first round of boys started to enter the room.

She smirked at you, malice in her eyes. “Good luck.”

You watched as she approached the boys, greeting them with an overly cheerful tone that was clearly forced. Her eyes never strayed from Ryu no matter who she was talking to and you could practically see the hearts in her eyes.

You tried to shake off the comment and not let it bother you, but it wouldn’t leave you alone. You kept wondering just what she meant by the comment and if there was actually something wrong with what you were wearing.

Was it not professional enough? Did the others feel the same way as her but she was the only one brave enough to speak up?

“Good morning,” Ryu smiled politely, bowing at you when he approached.

“Morning,” you replied, forcing a smile that didn’t reach your eyes.

He took notice of this but wasn’t sure how to ask so he chose to say nothing, settling down in the chair. You carefully removed his hair tie, running your fingers through his shoulder-length hair before grabbing the comb. Normally, you would ask him how he was doing and if he was feeling nervous about the day’s events.

You seemed to have this innate ability to tell when he was anxious and you knew just what to say to calm him down. Today, however, you were silent, brow furrowed as you added waves to his hair. He watched you in the mirror, wishing he could figure out what to say.

“There, you’re all done,” you told him softly, refusing to meet his gaze as you set the curling iron down.

“Thank you…”

You nodded, pretending to rearrange the items sitting on the table. He bit his lip, wanting to just ask what was on your mind but Riku appeared before he could get up the nerve. The older male offered him a smile before sitting down. Ryu bowed to you and then turned, heading over to the row of couches on the opposite side of the room. He found himself glancing over at you frequently.

Riku noticed the change in your usual demeanor and frowned. “Is something bothering you?”

“No, I’m fine,” you forced a smile, running the comb through his hair. “Did you sleep well?”

“Don’t change the subject.” He narrowed his eyes at you in the mirror, arms folded over his chest. “What’s going on?”

Your lips parted to deny it but then you sighed. “I… want to lose weight but I’m not quite sure where to start.”

“Any particular reason why?”

You certainly weren’t going to tell him the truth. “Well, Halloween is right around the corner and it’s harder to find a good costume when you’re fat.”

“You’re not fat,” he replied sternly, turning in the chair to look at you. “If you’re serious about losing weight, though, I can help. How much experience do you have going to the gym?”

“Uh…” you rubbed the back of your head sheepishly. “I’ve seen videos of people going…”

He chuckled. “Alright, I’ll take you under my wing and help you lose weight safely.”

“Really?” You looked at him hopefully. “You don’t mind?”

“Not at all.”

“Thank you so much, Riku-san!” A bright smile came to your lips as you bowed to him, feeling hopeful.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled back.

Ryu frowned, his brow furrowed as he watched the two of you. He hadn’t been able to even get you to look at him, but now you were smiling brightly at Riku? Were you mad at him? Did you find him annoying? He exhaled, reaching up to run a hand through his hair only to pause, glancing at you again.

You would probably be upset if he ruined his hair, though it would give him another chance to be closer to you. He shook his head, letting his hand fall back to his lap.

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You winced as you entered the LDH building, rubbing your shoulder. Riku was quite the intense teacher, encouraging you to keep pushing while also knowing when it was too far. He had this sixth sense to know when you could keep pushing and when you had to take a break. You didn’t agree with him, though, constantly feeling as if you were at your limit.

You hadn’t exercised in ages, so your body was quick to protest. You were content just doing thirty minutes on the treadmill, but Riku most certainly was not. Rather than focus on one part of your body, he wanted to focus on every part so you currently felt as if you were dying.

Your legs felt like jelly and you worried they would give out beneath you. Your arms felt like they had been filled with lead and it was hard to lift them. Back at home, you had a shitty mattress filled with springs so your back was also hurting.

It was strange to you, honestly. When you had finished the session with Riku, you had felt exhausted but good. You were proud of yourself for your efforts, especially since you had done more than you thought you could. You had completely forgotten about the aftermath of the day after and you were regretting it. Perhaps you should have been more honest with him about the last time you exercised.

As you prepared your items for the boys, you realized that you needed to bend down to plug in the straight iron. Your back was crying at the mere thought but you took a deep breath and slowly kneeled down, securing it within the plug. You tried to stand but pain shot through your back, making you wince and return to your knees.

Honestly, you had never realized how much a poor mattress could mess someone up, especially when they were already sore. You briefly wondered if you should just start sleeping on the couch instead.

“Aw, what’s wrong?” Hana appeared, a sickly sweet tone to her voice that was offset by the smirk on her lips. “Did your legs finally give up and refuse to hold you up? I can’t blame them, it’s a lot of weight.”

Your lips pursed at her words and you forced yourself up despite the pain, jaw clenched tightly so you didn’t make a sound. It hurt like hell but you didn’t want to give her the satisfaction.

“Yah, aren’t you going to greet your senpai? Huh?” She scowled, hand on her hip. “You think you get a pass because you’re a foreigner?”

You ignored her, returning to the items on the table.

Her fists clenched as she closed the distance between you, hand grabbing your shoulder to force you to look at her. “What, you think you’re better than me because Ryu-kun gives you attention? He just feels sorry for you, you know. How can he not? Just look at you.”

The mention of Ryu paying attention to you made your stomach fill with butterflies. Thinking about him feeling sorry for you made your heartache, though. Did he truly feel that way?

She saw that her words were having an effect and she loved it. “Apologize to me.”

“Huh?” Your head snapped toward her. “For what?”

“I know you’re dumb, but you’re not that dumb,” she scoffed.

Hana’s best friend approached with a laugh, sizing you up. “Don’t be too harsh on the foreigner, Hana-chan.” Her eyes met yours and you suddenly felt very small. “Should I talk slower so you can understand? Apologize. To. Her.”

“For what?” You hated how timid your voice sounded, even to you. “I did nothing wrong.”

“In Japan, there is a hierarchy that demands respect. I’m your senior, so apologize for not addressing me with respect,” explained Hana, lifting her chin up, a haughty expression on her lips.

You scoffed in disbelief, forcing yourself to face her. “Where I’m from, you don’t get respect people simply because they were born before you. Respect is something that must be earned, not freely given, and an ugly person like you doesn’t deserve respect.”

Slap!

The sound echoed through the room, startling the others inside. Your head was forced to the side, eyes wide as pain bloomed across your cheek.

“How dare you,” she spat angrily. “How dare a fat, ugly bitch like you call me ugly.”

Her friend scowled at you. “If you don’t like how things work in Japan, then go back where you came from, gaijin.”

The word stung more than it should have.

“Hey! What’s wrong going on here?” Riku rushed over with Ryu close behind, his eyes darting between the three of you to assess the situation.

Ryu’s eyes widened when he saw the bright red handprint beginning to appear across your cheek. “Are you okay?”

You most definitely were not okay, but you couldn’t tell him that. You swallowed hard, forcing a smile as you stared at the ground. “I’m fine!”

“You’re a terrible liar,” Riku scoffed, folding his arms over his chest as he turned toward the two women. “What happened?”

The two exchanged a look before Hana pouted at him. “I was insulted and called ugly. All I wanted was a little respect because I’m the senior here!”

Her friend nodded. “It’s true, I heard it.”

You looked at them in disbelief, swallowing when Riku’s eyes fell on you. Between your sore muscles, aching back, the comments she made and the current situation, you felt completely overwhelmed.

“What happened?” Riku questioned you softly.

Your lips parted but no sound escaped. The girls were glaring at you, warning clear in their eyes. Ryu put a comforting hand on your shoulder but you couldn’t stop hearing Hana’s words in your mind, repeating that he only felt sorry for you.

You yanked your shoulder from his grip, pushing your way through the small crowd that had gathered around you. You ignored the calls of your name as you darted out of the room, tears stinging at your eyes. You ran until your legs gave out beneath you, thankful that you had found yourself in an empty, dead-end hallway.

Boxes had been piled up against the back wall, the dull lights doing little to light up the hallway. There was a single drink machine against one wall, though you couldn’t remember the last time it had worked, and a simple wooden bench sat across from it.

You fell onto the bench, biting your lip hard as you leaned over, head in your hands. When was the last time you had felt this overwhelmed and emotional? You couldn’t quite remember but it had been a long time. Normally, you were a pro at ignoring things that would have bothered you once upon a time. You had learned to smile through the pain and act as if everything was okay and, for the most part, it was.

All things considered, your life wasn’t that bad. You had a decent apartment, you were living in Japan and you had a job that allowed you to do what you loved. The pay was decent, as well, so it’s not like you were strapped for cash. Your social life was seriously lacking and you had yet to make friends despite having lived there for over two years, but work kept you busy, anyway.

You knew all of this, so why were you suddenly feeling so down?

It’s true that Hana’s behavior had only gotten worse over the past week or so, but why should that matter? You were never friends with her and you knew from day one that she didn’t like you. What was the problem, then? Why did her words affect you so much?

Ryu’s smiling face flashed through your mind and you groaned, feeling your heart picking up speed. You didn’t want to admit it, but you knew you had fallen for the tall male. You also knew you didn’t have a chance with him. Why would he want you when he has someone as pretty as Hana there? It’s not like she tried to hide how she felt about him.

Maybe your life would have been easier if you didn’t fall for the person she already liked. To be fair, though, you never had the intention of falling for him. It was something gradual and slow, something you woke up one day and realized had happened. It’s not like you were actively pursuing him, though. Not only did that feel wrong because you knew she liked him, but also because you didn’t believe you had a chance with him in the first place.

There was a soft call of your name and you tensed up on instinct, making you wince. Tensing up only made your sore muscles and back hurt worse.

Ryu frowned at you as he approached slowly. “Are you okay?”

Your fists clenched around your jeans. “I’m fi -“

“Please don’t lie to me.”

Your eyes snapped to his, surprised by the hurt in his voice and the worry that lingered in his brown eyes.

“Hana-san has been bullying you, hasn’t she?”

Your nose wrinkled at the term. Bullying made it sound like you were back in high school and that brought back unpleasant memories. “It’s not bullying, it’s just…”

��Just what?” he wondered, settling down beside you on the bench. “I’ve seen the way she glares at you. Has she hit you before?”

You quickly shook your head. “No. No… it was the first time.”

“Does it… hurt?” He cringed at the dumb question.

“It’s not bad,” you answered softly, focusing on a loose piece of thread on your jeans. At the very least, the sting of your cheek was overshadowed by the aching of your entire body.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“Huh?”

“That she was…” He paused, searching for a different word to use. “Messing with you.”

You shrugged a shoulder. “It’s not a big deal, really. I can handle it.”

“You shouldn’t have to!” He cried, surprising you by how emotional he sounded. “No one should have to deal with abuse from others. No one deserves that.”

You lowered your head, blinking back your tears. “It’s easier to just take it. I didn’t want to cause problems…”

“You aren’t the cause of the problem,” he told you softly, large hand resting on your shoulder. “Hana-san and Miyu-san are the problem. They’re the reason you’re trying to lose weight, right?”

Your eyes widened. “How did you know about that?”

Ryu shifted, his cheeks dusting with pink. How could he tell you that he felt jealous of the attention Riku was giving you? That it got to the point where Riku could tell and offered up the information to appease him? The thought was embarrassing. “Riku-san mentioned it…”

You exhaled, leaning back against the wall. “She didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know.”

He shook his head, eyes burning into you. “You shouldn’t lose weight to make others happy. You should lose weight because you want to. Don’t change yourself for others because if they can’t accept you for who you are, they don’t deserve you.”

Butterflies erupted inside your stomach at his words, filling you with warmth. Before you could stop yourself, you asked, “Do you accept me as I am?”

Though his cheeks darkened, he didn’t miss a beat. “Yes. If you want to lose weight, I’ll support and encourage you, but please don’t do it just because of something cruel Hana-san said. I…” He swallowed, gathering up his nerve. “I like you as you are.”

Despite yourself, a smile slid onto your lips. “Thank you, Ryu-san.”

He nodded, shifting nervously. “If you want… maybe I could help you in the gym sometime? If Riku-san is busy, I mean…”

“I’d really like that,” you smiled, reaching out to brush away a strand of hair that had fallen in his face. “We should get your hair done.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fi – ah!” As you stood up, your back locked up, preventing you from standing up straight.

Ryu jumped up, grabbing a hold of your arm with a frown. “Just how hard did Riku-san push you?” He helped you sit back down, your brow furrowed.

“This one isn’t on Riku, it’s on my mattress.”

“You should head home. I’m sure Haku-san wouldn’t mind taking over for you today.”

“Maybe you’re right…”

“Wait here. I’m going to get you something for the pain.”

You watched him jog down the hall, disappearing around the corner. You smiled, leaning back against the wall and closing your eyes, feeling filled with warmth.

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-> High&Low/Rampage Taglist: @kiraaaeon, @simpforchuchu, @star2fishmeg, @thatpoindexterpixy @manhwabtch

-> General Taglist: @asterhaze, @mrskenpachizaraki

#flufftober2023 #day 17 #the rampage #ryu #ata ryutaro #the rampage ryu #the rmpg #jpop #fanfiction #fanfics #RFO - PSF23 #RFO - PSF #rains ficography

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