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#at thst point werent really thinking about me anymore is lik
radiotorn
·
1 month
Text
The perusing thru photo gallery strikes again. ! Bad
#got reminded of a halloween party i went 2 with friends
#and how they dropped me off back at home early to fuck
#and how crushed i was because it was genuinely such a fun night. like i felt so good
#because i was like. yay!!! i have friends and im spending time with my friends i love my friends!!!!
#and all 3 of us r sitting by the campfire and im pouring my heart out saying how much i valued them
#and how much it meant to me to have them in my life as ppl i could be myself around
#and just knowing thst the sentiment wasnt reciprocated the same and tht they
#at thst point werent really thinking about me anymore is lik
#okay. okayg. its fine. im fine about it
#i was so embarrassed asking for 10 more minutes there with them. i didnt wanna go but they clearly didnt wsnt me around anymore
#every time we hung out after that it only got worse. ogufvhh.
#i genuinely think they only invited me out because i was like. idk 'amusing'
#but not in a 'you are our friend and are funny and we like having you around'
#but like throwing peanuts at a caged circus animal.
#one of them did the others makeup. looked real nice
#later in the night i asked him to do mine too bc i thought it would be fun/i never play arohnd with makeup
#and he doesnt tske it serious. just absolutely fucks my face up with mascara and everything
#looking back on that now really cements just how blind i was to how they actually saw me
#i was thoroughly duped. fuck my derp life.
#ow.err
#sorry for diary entry posting again its 1am im tired and i need to write this down so I don't forget it happened to me
#maybe ill delete it in the morning and actually writr abt it in my journal idk
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