#at this rate i will be writing this shit still in five years GAH

[oflgtfol]

"i want to have this fic done before mando s3 airs!!" i said back in SPRING 2021. and mando s3 got delayed to SPRING 2023 and im STILL ONLY ON CHAPTER 3. OF 10.

[oftripps]

“ –– wow. ”  it’s not so much a critique as it is a g-rated expletive. tripp forces a smile mid-chew and blinks. “ my tastebuds are screaming. gah–– uh, singing. singing. ”  he avoids swallowing and as ring-decorated fingers snag a napkin, wide eyes drifting to the tabletop as a small jingle breezes past tensed lips. “ ~ allergic to mushrooms ~ ”

or, alternatively: this is somethin’ new! the caspar slide pt. 2 !! & this time, it’s ‘bout to get funky !!  so i’m linc and this is tripp and he’s........ a trip, honestly, so let’s just... yeet on into this ––

( joe keery + 22 + muse 12 ) isn’t that phillip joel “tripp” goodman over there? i heard he joined faction: one after they got back to west ham. it’s funny, ‘cause they were only on the service trip because HIS BANDMATES DUPED HIM INTO THINKING THE SIGN-UP WAS FOR A WOODS-THEMED OPEN MIC GIG. hopefully they fit in there – they’re JAUNTY but also OUTRÉ. oh, i’m sure they’ll be fine.

out the door !  ( tripp goodman: a roadmap )

look up townie family in the dictionary and you’ll find a portrait of the goodmans directly beside. these folks have a looooong flippin’ legacy here in lil’ ole west ham, kansas. it all started with montgomery goodman, a good man, who helped west ham’s founders break ground on this midwestern charmer several centuries ago. and now, the goodmans still live on the same property –– a refurbished farmhouse ( now closer to mcmansion ) surrounded by five acres of roooooollin’ hills. once upon a time, they were farming folk. now, theresa and joel goodman run the town’s one and only veterinary clinic. 

honestly, growing up? tripp was a problematic kid. he’d take in frogs from the woods and start his own frog hotels. he’d sneak pets from the clinic to school who “ needed help learning their numbers ”. in class, he’d flick sunflower seeds at the backs of his peers’ heads and, when threatened with discipline, claim he simply “ wanted to see if they’d grow  ” .  so no, to answer your question–– tripp never really saw the real wrath warranted by his rulebreaking.

in fourth grade, he chose the saxophone as his required instrument. he caused such a commotion in his house, that his parents asked his teachers to suggest something quieter. the viola. the flute. the clarinet. the piano. instruments came and went,;instruments were quickly mastered and abandoned. because dear lord, how many times could they listen to the spongebob theme song played on woodwind ?!  on strings ?!  once middle school rolled around, little phillip joel knew his way around a whopping total of six instruments, a tally that would only grow in the coming years. eventually, his parents caved and allowed him to keep playing, so long as he respected instrument curfews. they gave song requests to avoid hearing the same pieces on repeat: the goodman household was probably the only one blessed with an oboe-and-beatbox rendition of under the sea. young phillip joel’s take on the issue was simple: not all heroes wore capes.

( tw: domestic unrest, mentions of violence ) theresa and joel split when tripp was 9. just seven months later, tripp’s mother moved in with her girlfriend: tripp’s guitar teacher, ms. lillith. tripp didn’t mind ms. lillith. she was chill. he came to find out she could knock back a chocolate milk almost as fast as he could, and she liked her grilled cheeses with swiss only. his best friend became a thirty-six year old woman who happened to be his mother’s girlfriend. and that was fine. he could dig it. but joel goodman? oh no. his family name was tarnished. the scandal was too much to bear. joel sued for full custody and nearly made it, thanks to hometown politics and loyalties. but then he made one fatal mistake: he crossed his own son.

at 10 years old, fifth grade phillip joel returned home to his father’s after school with three fingernails painted effervescent blue. sidney frasier made me so cool, he gushed as he put his colored nails on proud display. dad, aren’t i so cool?  the next day, his dad enrolled him in the town’s peewee football program. he returned home from his first practice with a black eye and a split lip. from a ball, the coach insisted. hit the poor fella square in the face, real strong. phillip joel put up a fight against football; it wasn’t for him. it conflicted with music practice. couldn’t he just play music with ms. lillith instead?

the custody battle persisted. they settled on a parenting schedule. joel contested, consistently, months later. and so the cycle persisted up until phillip joel’s 12th year, when he was knocked out cold on the football field. the broken ribs came from hefty tackles. bruises from the fall. concussion from the impact. but theresa spun it to her advantage: joel had since started coaching the middle school team. this was an instance of parental neglect. and, when the courts didn’t comply, she instructed her son to jump down the stairs. one broken ankle later, and joel goodman was accused of child abuse. his word against his injured son’s. the maneuver won theresa full custody. phillip joel has yet to forgive himself.

after the custody battle’s conclusion, joel stayed in town: but phillip joel didn’t want a thing to do with sharing his name. his mother still scolds him as phillip joel, but to everyone else, he became tripp –– inspired by his knack for, you guessed it!, tumbling over his own two feet.

in high school, tripp was the class clown. always smirking, always grinning, always ready to catch someone off guard. he became a pivotal part of west ham high’s jazz band, and even formed a small group with a few buds: face. they played some school events: homecoming, pep rallies, prom. garage-baked young rock, their songs often preached meetings under bleachers and high school never ending. 

in senior year, the band saw a reboot: and after assuming a more indie, spacey sound and a nifty new name –– 1757. –– they saw a rise in local celebrity. coffee shops commissioned them for jam nights. they played on the local radio. so they collectively decided to stick around and see how far they could ride this west ham fame train. with tripp as their frontman, they always leave a memorable impression: he’s not exactly the most run-of-the-mill performer.

1757.’s sound is reminiscent of LANY: i’ve reblogged a few tunes onto tripp’s blog for reference. he’s v much a paul klein / matty healy vibe. big into music. big into losing himself in it.

so what was he up to before the service trip? playin’ tunes. working part-time as a waiter. and brainstorming ways to get out of going on this trip, as soon as he realized his stupid bandmates lied about the form he signed. an open mic in the woods ! pah !  he should have known. but the concept sounded pretty flippin’ cool.

wear our shades on our nose, 'cause we're cool like that ( tripp goodman: the man, the myth, the ledge )

oh god, he’s  w e i r d .  he believes in goblins and ghosts and aliens ( oh my )!

still VERY VERY close with his mother. v broken up about not being able to get through to her, because it was about to be his parents’ wedding anniversary and they were going to anti-celebrate it with big slices of oreo cheesecake and setting things on fire.

how he feels about coming home to west ham: post apocalyptic version.

uhhhh... can he please get a waffle? specifically a cinnamon raisin waffle with extra cinnamon and a shit ton of syrup? actually. syrup with a side of waffles?

why he was banned from his personal twitter.

“ do you even lift, bruv? ”  * proceeds to pick up a teacup & lift his pinkie like a true knock-off british monarch, shitty accent included *

listens to wham! and glam rock. unironically.bluetooth speaker mounted on his bike. no helmet! like an absolute boss. he knows!! wild!! shades on. it’s 2am. it’s dark. but true swag obeys no clock.

catch him biking everywhere stranger things style, actually. his bike’s name is milo because he can roll on for miles. mess with milo and he’ll fuck u up. aka find out if you’re lactose intolerant and slip heavy cream into your meal.

has a strong vendetta against blue doritos. which might take root in some horrific experiences involving cheez wiz, cool ranch, weed, and the new york subway system at 4am on a tuesday. spring break freshman year of college. oof.

he has a lil drawwwwl. tease him about it. he’ll probably blush.

stress-hums chili’s babyback ribs without realizing. catch him singin’ that about to be murdered.

weapon of choice: kindness.

actual weapon of choice: baseball bat.

he will write little jingles to keep morale up. “ so we’re trapped / cash us inside / how bou’ dat ? ”

has a passion for introspective literary quotes. but... has somehow managed to learn each and every one wrong.

friggin’ loves superheroes even though he can’t be bothered to watch the films? he just… always used to get made fun of for liking comic books even though he never read them? “ arachnid man is uh...  heh. he’s pretty dope, huh? ” he embraces the falsehood. someone call him on it.

9/10 times if he’s in the gym, it’s just to eat his donut and watch pay-per-view movies on the bike for free.

apple pie can absolutely be breakfast if you try hard enough. jeez. get with the times, man!

he had a legitimate pet rock before going on this service trip. but has no idea where that bugger’s gone. probably got fed up with tripp serenading him with “ we will rock you ” at all hours of the night.

lawful good. will wave other drivers on forever.

got into an accident on his bike once. bitch broke his arm and he just kept on smiling.  “ no you have a nice day! and uh.... hey. mind if we like... call an ambulance? ”

low key feels like he’s the reason his parents’ marriage crumbled. low key guilty about it. low key wonders if maybe he lived up to his father’s expectations, he might have saved them a lot of grief.

give benny goodman by saint motel a listen and tell me that’s not his soul in audio form.

known for slightly hyperbolic storytelling.

pansexual as heck. falls in love. hard. it’s a mess. he can’t hide it. hence the shades.

he has brilliant hair. and it’s immortalized in his high school yearbook.

is hellbent on being a source of positivity in this terrible situation. can he interest you in a meme in these trying times? how ‘bout a granola bar? maybe a good ole game of mash?

he’s convinced this is an elaborate prank. or a social experiment. maybe aliens. but let’s not question it too much, let’s just.... have a good time? hakuna matata? no worries? lol where the twizzlers at?!

leaves a voicemail for his mother every morning and every night. maybe he cries. maybe.

he has one ear pierced because like.......... senior year of high school, he wanted to feel more cool.

allergic to mushrooms, shellfish, eggs, and harbingers of doom.

he truly boggles minds. just.... v out there? v spacey. he closes his eyes and drifts about on stage, fingers dancing on the keys, body moving in eclectic ways. he says “groovy” and fuckin’ means it. he dresses in prints inspired by grandma’s carpet. lots of half-buttoned flowy shirts, boots, tailored statement pants, dangly necklaces. he’s got his hands full of rings –– they symbolize milestones. and some are just, like... pretty. and one’s his mother’s old wedding band.

where the hell are my friends !  ( wanted connectz. )

i was gonna do a whole section on this and got lazy but like.... anything. all the things. good, bad, ugly, beautiful. hurt him. make him suffer. but also support him a bit.

i imagine he’s got a solid squad goin’. he’s in faction one too, so... hmu for those.

i feel like he’d be pretty chill with the greeks? yeah bro, he parties. he’ll chill. he’ll crack open a cold one and pretend to understand what those letters on your jacket mean! pie-apple-fate-uh? cool stuff !

ride or dies. pls.

he needs someone to like....... melt his heart. maybe someone unexpected.

thisssss got long & disorganized but yes! let’s plot! let’s do this thang! #hype!!

[courtreadsmostlyfiction]

Best books of 2019

I read 179 books in 2019 (and finished the 179th, The Handmaid’s Tale, on 12/31, so I can watch the series and read The Testaments). This is the most I’ve ever read in one year (in 2018, I read 173). I was sharing this update with my grandmother, and she asked me if my goal was to read as many books as possible. I thought about it for a bit, and it’s not but it is? I told her how I knew I only had so many books I’d get to read in a lifetime, and I probably think about that fact too much. I don’t want to read just for quantity’s sake, yet I know that I find some of the best books because I have an insatiable appetite for reading. Too many books, too little (life)time.

I also read instead of watching TV (generally), and love when I’m reading something that pulls me away from social media. I love reading when Grant is reading next to me (on the couch, in bed, across from me at a restaurant on an introvert date).

And last but not least, books have saved my life before many times, and making time for reading helps keep me sane. 

...now onto our program - my favorite books of the year! This year I also blogged more, if not *regularly*, so some of the books below were suggested before. If you got my Christmas card, some of these might not be surprises, either, since we had the fun idea of listing our family member’s favorite books. Some of mine are different, though, since I had to have that done in early December, and there was so much good reading time left in the year! I went on holiday break on the 17th and had saved a lot of good books for my vacation.

TOP ELEVEN (I wrote about all except the last three -- thanks December reading for those books that made this list! -- in previous posts, so will try to capture in one sentence why you might want to pick it up): 

Good Talk (graphic memoir) - I bought my copy at The Strand, and have bought at least 10 copies to give to friends who are parenting in the age of Trump.

(posting this pic to prove my point, even though I’ll likely get shit from Grant about our Amazon bill)

The Most Fun We Ever Had (literary fiction) - a book with a dysfunctional family (yes, please!) and a character who cusses a lot PLUS a ginkgo biloba tree.

Fleishman Is In Trouble (literary fiction) - I want to reread this, and I rarely reread things; a rare 5-star rating from me that made me think about how I participate in misogyny without even realizing it.

Speak No Evil (literary fiction) - a queer, black immigrant high schooler in DC grapples with his identity.

The Nickel Boys (literary fiction) - a fictionalized story of real history: a disciplinary school in Florida where black boys are sent (and often “disappear”); the ending had me crying. (Also on Obama’s list of his fave reads of 2019)

Red, White & Royal Blue (romance) - more romance with bi relationships and politics, please!

Educated (non-fiction, memoir) - it wasn’t what I expected at all, I couldn’t put it down, and ultimately I think it’s about surviving.

Heads of the Colored People (short stories) - stories (and usually I hate short stories) about black identity that I’m STILL thinking about.

Disappearing Earth (mystery) - this was on so many best of lists (including the NYTimes top TEN for the year), and the hard cover had been sitting on my shelf for two long. I had it first on my read-during-winter-break list. As soon as I read two pages, I was sucked in. Two young sisters disappear in Russia’s Far East, and then the story unfolds, told by the perspectives of folks directly and indirectly connected to the crime. 

All This Could Be Yours (literary fiction) - I requested this at the library before it even had a cover :) because I’m a Jami Attenberg fan. A dysfunctional family’s patriarch is dying, and his son and daughter are called to his bedside, where the whole family grapples with his life of crime and abuse.

Juliet Takes A Breath (YA) - Juliet (Nuyorican lesbian) gets a coveted internship with hippy, white feminist author, and white feminism rears it’s ugly head.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: 

Nothing To See Here (literary fiction) - one time, a guy in Chicago had a job at a newspaper where he was the Biblioracle and he would recommend books to folks who wrote in if you told him favorites and what you read recently. 1) I need that job! and 2) he recommended Kevin Wilson’s The Family Fang to me, and I loved it. I was excited to read this, and it felt like such a real representative of politics and friendship even though people literally burst into flames.

The River (literary fiction / mystery) - in Grant’s top 5 of the year, and one of my favorite Peter Heller books (which is saying something, since I loved The Dog Stars and Celine). Two high school boys go for a graduation trip in the boundary waters, and there’s a brushfire growing and possibly a woman missing.

The Chain (thriller) - I keep picking up thrillers that people swear are the next Gone Girl or even better, and nothing is. This didn’t make my top ten, but if you want a page turner with a twist and also think about the banality of evil and what you might or might not do, try this.

Royal Holiday (romance) - Jasmine Guillory is always on point! I couldn’t even save this for Christmas reading!* A personal stylist gets to go to England to style the Meghan Markle (shout out to Suits!) fictionalized equivalent, and her mom goes along and finds romance. 

Intercepted, Fumbled, Blitzed (romance series) - have you read all of Jasmine Guillory? Pick up Alexa Martin next! It’s funny and captures the nuance of being a football fan or former football fan; the book doesn’t deny how it exploits men of color or the traumatic brain injuries. 

They Called Us Enemy (graphic memoir) - I don’t think that I would have ever picked up a graphic memoir if I didn’t already love Mira Jacobs (see Good Talk, above) and George Takei (LOVE him on facebook) already. Now I might seek them out. It’s George’s story of the Japanese internment camps that America likes to not remember.

Slay (YA) - Q: Do you need a YA version of Ready Player One written by a black woman? A: YES! After all of the racism she experiences in gaming, a black high schooler creates a video game only for black folks. No one knows she’s the creator. When a young kid is killed supposedly due to the game, she faces being revealed and wonders what she created.

The Love and Lies of Rukhsana Ali (YA) - I couldn’t put this book down; it’s about a young, queer Muslim woman whose parents want to marry her off. It’s never the right time to come out, and when they find out unexpectedly, she’s sent off to Bangladesh.

Heaven, My Home (mystery) - The follow up to Bluebird, Bluebird, and just as wonderful. Black Texas Ranger Darren Matthews is back, and is tasked with finding a missing 9 year-old boy from a white supremacist family.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed (non-fiction) - I asked my therapist if she had read this, but she hadn’t yet. She did tell me that she sees a therapist, though. Reading this (and hearing that) made me feel less alone and less crazy. It’s also pretty funny. (AND you know I don’t like non-fiction!!!)

What My Mother and I Don’t Talk About (non-fiction, essays) 

Southernmost (rural fiction) - did I just make up a genre? Yes! If you liked Plainsong or anything by Kent Haruf (and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, read that instead), I think you’d like this. A rural town, where a preacher decides not to turn his back on a gay couple, and then faces the consequences. I found it thoughtful, nuanced, and real. 

The View from Penthouse B (light fiction) - hmm, can’t stop making up genres! This is witty and well written, and I think is the book equivalent of a warm bath. I loved these sisters who end up living together in an NYC penthouse (the sister who owns it: separated from her scandal-ridden husband and lost her fortune in a Madoff-like ponzi scheme, and the sister who moves in is fairly recently widowed and everyone but her is ready for her to get over it).

Daisy Jones & The Six (historical fiction) - I think this was Grant’s favorite of the year, and it was definitely in the top 5. I loved it, too. It felt like the book version of Almost Famous.

American Spy (spy thriller) - it has so many things I’m looking for in a book all-in-one: excellent writing, fully developed characters, and moving plot. The premise is a black woman in U.S. intelligence during the Cold War, and the book grapples with racism and sexism and patriotism and family. So good!

To Night Owl from Dogfish (middle grade fiction) - I picked this up because Meg Wolitzer is one of the authors (wrote The Interestings) and because I’ve seen it on so many (non-middle grade) lists. It didn’t disappoint! Q: Do you need an LGBTQ Parent Trap-like book in your life (A: Yes, obvs). Pick this one up! I will try to read it with Ox in a year or so.

WHEW!

In 2020, I’m hoping for more 5 star reads (only five in 2019 - Good Talk, Fleishman Is In Trouble, Educated, Speak No Evil, Heads of the Colored People), more mysteries to make this list (bonus if it’s a new series [or new-to-me series] I can get lost in), and that I find the time to paint more book covers.

BONUS MEME

*Gah this meme is me, but this is my blog, so whatevs! Also a lot of these memes, too, which I hadn’t seen before!

[bookloversreviewer]

“Another brilliantly written winner. Do yourself a favor and pick this one up, you will not regret it.” —Kate Stewart, USA Today bestselling author

Perfectly Adequate, an all-new must-read romantic comedy from Jewel E. Ann, is available now!

Dr. Elijah Hawkins needs … something.

After his wife jumps headfirst into a midlife crisis, he’s left with his young son, Roman, and a lot of unanswered questions.

That something turns out to be a someone—Dorothy Mayhem, nursing student, patient transporter, reckless driver, and emu owner.

Dorothy studies humans, the neurotypical kind, through books and television. Then she emulates their behavioral patterns to fit in with her peers.

But nothing can prepare her for Dr. Elijah Hawkins.

Single dad.

Brilliant pediatric oncologist.

And the sexiest doctor at the hospital.

When his failed attempts at asking her out turn into a string of playdates with his son, Dorothy finds herself unexpectedly enamored with the boy and his father.

And that’s a problem, a huge one, because Elijah’s ex-wife is a famous plastic surgeon���and Dorothy’s idol.

Perfectly Adequate is a beautiful, hilarious, and heart-felt journey along the “human” spectrum.

Download your copy today or read FREE in Kindle Unlimited!

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2o6sJZF

Amazon Worldwide: http://mybook.to/PerfectlyAdequate

Amazon Paperback: https://amzn.to/2lZxdRm

Add to GoodReads: http://bit.ly/2OWq81s

Excerpt

“You can call me Eli.”

She swallows hard. “I don’t actually think I can.”

“Why not?” I force my gaze away from her mouth.

The second our eyes meet, she averts her attention to her feet. “Because you’re half of the Hathaway-Hawkins duo.”

This is a new one to me. “I’m divorced.”

“I know. I …” She makes an attempt to look at me, but her attention shifts to my temple then maybe my ear. “I mean you’re a brilliant doctor, and Dr. Hathaway is too—so brilliant. God, she’s just phenomenal. Like there are no words. But still … you change the lives of young children. You save them. You’re what every young person entering the medical field can only dream of becoming. You’ve earned the title. I can’t call you by your name. It’s too personal. I don’t know … almost intimate.”

She has Julie on a really high pedestal. Me? Down a few pegs. Sounds about right for my life at the moment. It’s not that Julie doesn’t deserve to be on the pedestal. No matter how much I hate her, I still love her. And her skills as a pediatric plastic surgeon are unmatched. She deserves Dorothy’s admiration.

But I don’t want to talk about medicine, accolades, and saving lives. I know … I know … how terrible of me. Sorry, but I need something for myself. Something personal and maybe a little selfish.

Definitely intimate.

“I don’t need a babysitter for Roman.”

She jerks her head back, giving me her full attention, eyes squinted, gaze locked to mine. “What?”

I trap my top lip between my teeth, drowning in coconuts as my heart races, sending ample blood to all regions of my body. God … I just want—need—to kiss her.

“Oh jeez …” She shakes her head, closing her eyes for a breath. “You invited me to dinner to … flirt.” Her eyes open to their widest point.

A tiny laugh escapes me. I can’t help it. Everything about this woman feels like a rebirth. “I invited you to dinner because Roman really likes you. And I just can’t thank you enough for all that you’ve done for him. You’re so generous.”

Gah! I suck at this!

What is my problem? Yes. The answer is yes! Yes, Dorothy, I invited you over to flirt, maybe even kiss. And other things …

“Oh.” She takes a step backward, stumbling a bit as the front door catches her, and more embarrassment tints her cheeks. “Well, now I feel stupid. Yes, of course you invited me here because Roman likes me. Duh. Now I just look like an idiot for assuming you wanted to flirt with me. And really, no need to thank me. My generosity is selfish. It makes me feel good to do nice things. That’s all. And really, you’ve bought me coffee and made me dinner again. It’s like I should be thanking you again. But that’s probably weird. So … I’ll just go now.”

Really, really weird shit goes through my mind as she fidgets. Dr. Hawkins is nowhere to be found. Neither is Roman’s dad. Raging-puberty-hormones Eli Hawkins invades my head—both of them really. And I just want to kiss Dorothy. That’s the PG version of my thoughts. Most of them are R-rated. Worse than the R-rating. All I can think about are the ways Dorothy and I can be generous with each other, leading to never-ending thank-you’s that don't involve stationary, replacement scrubs, superhero capes, pasta dinners, lunch boxes … or clothing.

“Should we call it even? No more thank-you’s,” I suggest.

“Okay.” She lifts her gaze, eyes going a little cross-eyed like her focus is centered on the bridge of my nose.

“Okay.” I release a slow breath, but it does very little to relax all of my body. “Can I ask your age?” I’m not sure why I’ve been so chicken about asking her age. I think it worries me that she’s too young, and I’ll feel like a dirty old man having really inappropriate thoughts about her.

“I’m thirty. Why?”

“You just look young.”

“I wear massive amounts of sunscreen.”

I nod slowly.

Just kiss her, you big chicken!

What if she doesn’t want to be kissed by me? Or flirt with me? I internally laugh at the memory of her comment and at myself for being just as awkward. Why does something so simple have to be so complicated?

“I have a forty-five-minute drive home.”

And school the next day. Where is my head?

Oh, that’s right …

“Of course. I’m sorry. I lost track of time.”

“Okay.” She smiles.

I love her okay’s. They feel like more than the average okay.

“I’ll walk you out.”

“Have you not closed all of your rings?” She holds up her wrist, signaling to her watch.

I chuckle. “All rings were closed hours ago.”

“We could track each other. Share our rings. Did you know that?”

Rings. Kisses. Trips to the on-call room for sex.

For the love of God … get your shit together, Elijah!

“Never mind. That’s weird.” She shakes her head, rolling her eyes at herself just before opening the door and scurrying ten steps ahead of me. Her pace gains momentum with the hill of my driveway.

My long strides catch up to her at the bottom of it. She looks both ways and bolts across the street to her car, clicks the locks, and opens her door.

“Goodnight!”

“Dorothy Mayhem … you’re killing me.”

She turns just before ducking into the driver’s seat.

“What do you mean?”

Resting my hands on my hips, I drop my chin in defeat and stare at my untied gray canvas shoes. “What if I did ask you to dinner tonight to … flirt?” I glance up, digging my teeth into my bottom lip on a slight cringe.

Her body remains stoic as her eyes shift from side to side, like she’s been caught on a hidden camera. “Well … then I wore the wrong outfit.” She refuses to look me in the eye.

“I think you look amazing.”

“Yes. But this is a playdate outfit. Maybe even one I’d wear to apply for a babysitter position. It’s fun, but wholesome. Practical and safe.”

I just want to spend one day in her head. Everything about her fascinates the hell out of me. The curiosity gives me such a high.

“Tell me about your flirting outfit.”

“Well …” She clears her throat, keeping her focus on the big hill leading out of my development. And of course … her cheeks are perfectly flushed as she talks to the wind. “Since Romeo was involved, I would have chosen my red dress with white stripes. It hits just below my knees, but it’s strapless. And I would have worn my blue cardigan with it and matching blue wedge sandals with straps that tie around my ankles. Flirty … but appropriate for young eyes.”

“And if Roman wouldn’t have been here tonight?” I stare at the side of her head, wondering if she’ll look at me again before driving home.

She narrows her eyes. “I would have taken off the cardigan after you invited me into your house.”

The picture she paints in my head does all kinds of wicked things to me. Why imagining her in a striped strapless dress has such a physical effect on me is a mystery. It’s not like she suggested showing up wearing nothing but high heels and a trench coat. Dorothy Mayhem possesses her own brand of seduction, and I’m completely entangled in every part of it.

“And in this scenario, would you have kissed me after I walked you to your car?”

She turns completely red. I feel certain even her toes hidden in those blue shoes have to be red. “You’re making fun of me.”

Her comment knocks me back a good ten steps, even if my body remains right next to her. Why would she say that?

About Jewel

Jewel is a free-spirited romance junkie with a quirky sense of humor.

With 10 years of flossing lectures under her belt, she took early retirement from her dental hygiene career to stay home with her three awesome boys and manage the family business.

After her best friend of nearly 30 years suggested a few books from the Contemporary Romance genre, Jewel was hooked. Devouring two and three books a week but still craving more, she decided to practice sustainable reading, AKA writing.

When she’s not donning her cape and saving the planet one tree at a time, she enjoys yoga with friends, good food with family, rock climbing with her kids, watching How I Met Your Mother reruns, and of course…heart-wrenching, tear-jerking, panty-scorching novels.

Connect with Jewel

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authorjeweleann/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/JewelE_Ann

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorjeweleann/

BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/jewel-e-ann

Stay up to date with Jewel by joining her mailing list:

http://www.jeweleann.com/free-booksubscribe/

http://www.jeweleann.com

[aurimeanswind]

Switch It Up—Sunday Chats (2-26-17)

February has really flown by huh? This second month of the year has drawn to a close, and with it my life has irrevocably changed, I’ve got a ton going on and a ton more to get done, and we are a mere five days away from a console launch.

So uh, let’s get started then, huh?

GUESTPERTS

First up, I’ll be on a LIVE podcast tonight, so it is definitely time to devote a little attention to that. It’s called The Power Switch, which adds just another beautiful layer to the title of this week’s Sunday Chats (almost like a certain fantastic teen drama that I do a podcast on). The show is hosted by Peter Spezia, a long-time podcaster and was the host of the first video games podcast I ever listened to, Show Me Your News! I’m very excited to have been invited on, especially as the first guest host, so it’ll be one to listen to.

If you’re checking this out before it’s live, you can call in via Discord!

rhymeswithasia.com/call

If you miss it, you can always find the show on iTunes or the website after the fact, so don’t sweat it!

http://rhymeswithasia.com/topic/the-powerswitch/

My Brother, My Brother and Me

The MBMBaM show went live this week over on Seeso.com! For those who don’t know, the McElroy brothers have been doing this podcast for seven years. It actually started three months before Irrational Passions Podcast, so the show holds a special place in my heart as a show I’ve been listening to for as long as I’ve been doing my very own show. It’s one of my favorite podcasts ever, probably my all time favorite non-gaming show, and second only ever to The GiantBombcast otherwise. 

They did a show this week, and it honestly blew me away. I’ve been thinking about doing a full written post on my blog about it, but the final scene of the show is this incredibly genuine, heartfelt moment from oldest brother Justin McElroy, who I’ve been lucky enough to meet a handful of times, is someone I look up to in the games industry, and it’s a just such a sweet realization of all the things this show means to me. It is as much about funny goofs and good times as it is about the true love between three brothers, and it honest to god blew me away. I know I said that twice in this paragraph, so as a writer, it’s indicative of how speechless I was at the end of the experience. It’s well worth the four dollars for a month of Seeso just to see the show, especially if you’re a fan of MBMBaM. If you’re outside the US, I am dearly sorry. Hopefully you’ll be able to see it soon!

What’s on Tap

Tales of Berseria

FINISHED. I am finalizing my review sometime this coming week.

Overall: fantastic. Weird how there are some unpolished parts of it, but they by no means hinder the experience I had.

Heartfelt, smart, genuine, and hokey, all at the same time, Berseria has a great message and is a truly excellent complement to Tales of Zestiria. It makes me wish that other game was better, but regardless, Berseria stands tall and proud as a remarkable achievement in a franchise that desperately needed it.

Nioh

Gah. I wish I loved Nioh more!

Don’t get me wrong, Nioh is great, but it’s issues, or at least the issues I’ve run into while playing it, are really starting to wear on me.

I find myself far more frustrated with Nioh, and though I can’t quite put it into words, I can describe my experiences to you.

One: there is this boss that sucks. It has a laser beam that literally did over 800 damage more than my max health, and I was considerably over leveled for this particular level. Many times, when entering the boss’s arena, it’d just immediately just start charging this laser beam attack, and half of my total deaths (or probably more) were just to this dumb fucking attack. I commented out loud, frequently, “oh hey I like how fun and great this is”.

Two: I find myself dying before I can even begin using my health options. I feel like I don’t even have time to use my resources, because the game trivializes either my health, my abilities, or my stamina before healing or items even come into the picture. I feel helpless in the least productive way.

Three: the game begs for comparison to Dark Souls. I’ve avoided it so far, but when almost every aspect of what you’re doing is very much a reflection of a series that I think just does those things differently or better, it’s hard to not bring it up. You take and take form another series, so I don’t think it’s unfair to judge what you accomplish to that series, even if what you bring to the table is great in some cases. But I’m conflicted, as a critic and a reviewer.

We’ll see where I end up, and I know much of what I’m saying here (if not all of it) is mostly negative, but I swear I do enjoy the game, and for the most part have a good time with it.

I think that’s all I got... Onto the questions!

Questions

Please god I have so much work to do you guys no. There is so much to see and do at PAX Kaylie! Go see and do it!

GUYS. I’M NOT THAT INTERESTING

I HAVE PREVIEWS TO WRITE.

PLEASE.

So I think a big part of context is the piece you (Logan) wrote today in your Sunday Wrap Up, which I will link to... HERE:

http://www.leftyloggy.com/blog/2017/2/26/sunday-wrap-up-february-26th-2017

So some discussion was happening about this in the Irrational Passions Podcast live chat last night too. To summarize quickly, Logan was very off put by Zelda 1, and discussed the evolution of narrative and gameplay. It seems, going off your piece today Logan, that you’ve warmed to the game a bit. You’ve also been using a guide for it.

So Zelda is one of my favorite franchises, second only to Persona. I have played and completed every game in that series, save for Zelda 2, so of course it holds a special place in my heart. I don’t want to put you on blast Logan, but I do want to full answer your questions, with context given.

I read what you wrote and I genuinely believe you’re not giving Zelda 1 enough credit. That game is brilliantly smart, and you speak to many examples of the game being too “convoluted” but reading your thoughts it really reads to me as someone who doesn’t like this kind of game, because I can name plenty of games that tread similar water, and still don’t execute on it as well as Zelda 1 does.

I have played and finished the game. I mostly used a guide, just because I was much younger, and I knew that would lead me to frustration, but I also knew I had to appreciate it. I like the more grand-sweeping, narrative driven A Link to the Past, but Zelda 1 is so cool. That game really rewards exploration. I know it doesn't seem like it, but there are people in dungeons that give you hints on how to find the next dungeon, as well as scattered caves that are alluded to in obtuse text. It’s by no means “convoluted”, but I just think that’s the wrong word to use when describing it. Obscure, or obtuse, may be more accurate.

But by playing with a guide, you lose the significance of having to find these shopkeepers and old men who give you cryptic hints.

The game rewards exploration. It’s a world that simply exists, and much like I said about the turn in mystery Alex Talks, there is just genuine experimentation that goes into finding those secrets. You talk about how silly you found it to be to bomb some seemingly random wall only to find some hidden cave and item behind it, but also many of these things aren’t necessary to do, and when they are, there is someone out there in the world that will tell you to do it.

It was very much of a different era, and how well it has aged is exceptionally dependent on what kind of gamer you are. Modern gamers and players are far, far too impatient for this game. As someone who talks of jumping into gaming a the N64 era, there was a lot of directional hints learned around that point in time that lead you to have that kind of expectation. Truthfully, many NES games are like Zelda because  of Zelda, and its one of few games in that entire franchise that really adventures. 

To close, I don’t have a ton of love for the game myself, but I think I’d like it a lot more today, and it is an exceptionally important video game. Think of save states, save files, persistent worlds, and exploration in those worlds. Zelda, in many cases, did it first. Even the first Metroid game didn’t have the consistency that Zelda 1 did.

You by no means need to like it, but I think to ignore it’s triumphs and accomplishments without full understanding it would be misplaced. It’s a game that I don’t think is for everyone, but is still critically important. Play it, finish it, as I know you are, because when you play A Link to the Past, a far better game in my opinion, it’s gonna fucking blow your mind.

SO PUMPED YOOOOOOO

I’m more excited for Zelda now, but after hearing my boys Greg Miller and Colin Moriarty talk about it, I can’t wait for it to show up on Tuesday. Look out for that launch stream on Twitch.tv/IrrationalPassions!

Attachment rate? It’s gotta be really high. I only know one person who is not getting Breath of the Wild with their Switch, and that person doesn’t like 3D Zelda, so that makes sense.

Overall, it is the system seller, and I’d bet the attachment rate would be around 70%-ish. I say that, just because I know some people will just be getting the hardware because of budgetary reasons, and that number is always higher than I expect.

I still have not! I feel bad because I always try whatever dumb shit Taco Bell puts out. But we’ll see. Every time I go back to Taco Bell now I just feel like garbage because there was enough time between when I last went and now that I have stopped liking their food as much. :/

SO PUMPED. Brining a writing team in 2014 was the absolute highlight. So stoked to be able to do that again, because I honestly never thought I would. It’s gonna be a blast.

As for tagging along, apparently everyone wants to follow me around at PAX East? I honestly prefer to be alone on the floor for the most part, but I’m sure there will be much time to spend in the press room discussing things and writing previews. Hit me up. Let’s make some #content.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

L-O-L

LOOLOLOLOL

I don’t know. It’s honestly more swallowable with Nintendo because the Switch is a cheaper price going in at $300 than the $400/500 of the PS4 and Xbox One, but I’m sure saying that people will think i’m fucking crazy.

It’s definitely possible, but I still think that leads too hard into Nintendo looking at their competition and going off of what they’re doing, something Nintendo has very much never done. So probably not.

I still believe in my handheld-only version of the Switch that comes out in a year or two. A smaller, resigned version of the same hardware just cheaper and with a better battery life. Maybe it uses smaller Joycon too. Who knows. We’ll have to wait and see.

Shoutouts

Hey shoutouts to the Adventure Mode guys for having me on their show. It was a ton of fun, and hopefully Dustin and Brandon will have me back on to their show for a full podcast. Check out the latest episode on their site:

http://www.handsomephantom.com

Okay, that’s all I got. I’m drinking beer and gearing up for one helluva podcast with Peter Spezia, so have a good week, play some games, get your switch on and as always...

keep it real.

[ryqoshay]

How to Handle a Nico: The Incident

Primary Pairing: NicoMaki Hinted Pairing: NozoEli Words: ~2.2k Rating: T? M? Time Frame: Late in Maki's 1st year and Nico's 3rd year in college. Story Arc: "The Incident" The Incident Aftermath Camelot Forgiven

List of all HtHaN scenes

Author’s Note: Ughn... I’ve been dreading writing this since I first referenced it back when I wrote HtHaN 2. However, after several people inquired about it, I finally started writing it... a month ago. A month of writing a few sentences, putting it off to write more fluff, staring at what I had, staring at my notes, rinsing and repeating, and I’m still not honestly happy with it, though mostly because I’ve never written fights like this before.

Fair warning, this is not like the other fluffier and happier scenes that I’ve written for HtHaN thus far. Lots of cursing and some violence resulting in a hospital visit is the theme of this scene. So here it is, The Incident.

“What did you do this time, Nicocchi?”

The raven-haired girl on the barstool ignored the purple haired girl approaching her and knocked back the shot in her hand instead. An expression of mild disgust wrinkled her face as she set the glass back down on the bar and motioned for the barkeeper to pour another.

“Well?”

“I didn’t do anything.” Nico growled. “Go away.”

Nozomi crossed her arms. “What did you and Maki-chan fight about?”

“Did the cards tell you that?”

“No. You did.”

“I didn’t say anything about Maki.”

“You’re drinking vodka.” The older girl pointed out. “You hate vodka. You only drink it after you and Maki-chan have a fight… or when Elicchi forgets your distaste for it and pours you some.”

“Or when you try to sneak it into my drink.” The shorter girl glared daggers at the other.

“You’re also drinking it straight, despite preferring mixed drinks.” Nozomi continued, taking a seat beside Nico. “Must have been some fight.”

“…”

“Was it about the test?”

Nico grunted.

“Did you fail?”

“No.”

“Oh?”

“I got a C.”

“And Maki-chan thinks you could have done better?”

“… Yeah…”

The shrine maiden squinted at the part-time idol beside her. “Maki-chan’s not the type get that upset about a C, or at least not upset enough to cause you two to fight to the point that you felt the need to drown your sorrows in vodka. What aren’t you telling me?”

“…”

Nozomi curled her fingers and was just about to bring her hands up when Nico leaned away reflexively.

“Alright, alright!” the twin-tailed girl cried before realizing they were still in public. Thankfully, the overall din of the bar crowd drowned out most of her outburst. Still, she lowered her voice to a more appropriate level. “Keep your damn hands to yourself!”

“So, tell me. All of it.”

Nico poured another shot down her throat before sighing. “Well, Maki knew this test was coming up, so last week, she offered to help me study for it.”

“Alright.”

“But that day, Rin got sick and wasn’t able to go with Hanayo to a concert. Naturally, I was the first choice to get the extra ticket, and there was no way I was going to pass up such an opportunity! It was a one night only deal and it sold out in like an hour! Hanayo only got the tickets in the first place because she got lucky in a raffle!”

“Go on.”

“So, I called Maki an’ told her I needed to cancel. She got all huffy and said she was busy when I tried to reschedule fer the next night.”

“So, that’s why you asked me to help you study.”

“Yeah. But then, right as I was leavin’ class to meet you, out a’ the blue, Maki calls and suddenly says she wants to help me after all.”

“… And you turned her down.” Nozomi chewed her lip as she was suddenly fairly certain she knew the story’s conclusion.

“Of course!” Nico huffed. “I’s only fair. She turned me down first.”

“Actually, you turned her down first.”

“Same diff’rence.”

“So Maki-chan thinks that you would have done better if she had been the one to help you study?” Nozomi understood the sentiment but couldn’t help feel a little bit insulted.

“Yeah. Exactly.” Nico waved for another refill.

“Did you apologize?”

“For what?” Nico sounded exasperated. “Why do I have to ‘pologize? I’s no’ like my grades affect her in any way. I don’ get her sometimes. Why does she care so much ‘bout my grades anyway?”

Nozomi shook her head before making a motion to tell the barkeeper to cut off her friend and bring the bill.

“But yeah, I did apologize.” The twintailed girl grumbled after a moment, staring at her empty glass. “Doesn’ matter anyway. She’s been ignoring me fer two days now. She called to yell at me ‘bout the grade… And tha’s another thin’…” She pointed a finger at the purple haired girl. “I didn’t say jack shit to ‘er ‘bout the grade an’ she gets all nosey and fin’s out anyway and calls me and star’s yellin’ at me for no good reason for like a whole half an hour an’ a half! She almost started cryin’ and stuff.”

“You didn’t even tell her the results?”

“Of courze not!” Nico’s finger wavered a bit. “I’z none off her business! She didn’ help me study or nothin’! She didn’ deserve to know!”

Nozomi sighed.

“I got here as quick as I could.” A voice said from behind the two.

“Elicchi…”

“Oh, fer fuck’s sake!” Nico glared at Nozomi. “You called ‘er ta ‘elp you drag me outta ‘ere?”

“Kicking and screaming if we have to, yeah.” Eli said, hands on her hips.

Nico grunted before turning to get off her stool.

“So, you’ll come willingly?” the blonde asked.

“Bathroom.” The raven-haired girl stated as firmly as she could before wobbling a bit and catching herself on the edge of the bar. “I’ll be right back. Don’ fuckin’ follow me.”

“If you’re not back in five minutes, I’m coming in after you.” The former student council president replied. “Don’t think I won’t kick down the stall door if I have to.”

“Fuck off.” Nico flashed a rude gesture before staggering towards the restrooms.

This wasn’t the restroom…

This wasn’t even the bar…

Nico turned around only to see that the door she had just stumbled through lacked a handle to allow reentry. How the hell did she get lost going to the god damned bathroom? Angrily, she kicked the door, only to cry out as the steel refused to budge an inch.

Despite the pain, she was about to kick the door again when a wave of nausea washed over her, reminding her of the original reason she needed to use the restroom. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a dumpster and staggered towards it. Only two steps and she realized there was no way she was going to make it.

As she quickly braced herself against the wall, Nico’s stomach began a violent purge of the night’s consumption. How in every single god forsaken god’s name did Eli drink this vile shit? Russian for water, huh? Fucking bullshit!

“Well, looky here…”

Fuck.

Weary from the exertion of what she felt to be merely the first of many purges, Nico turned to face a figure shrouded in the shadows of the alleyway. “What th’ fuck d’ you want?” she spat.

“What do you think?” the man flashed what looked to be a knife though a shaft of light before him.

“I fergo’ my purse inside…” And my phone… Shit…

“Well that’s not all I can take.”

“Fuck you.”

“What?”

“You hear’ me.” Nico growled, feeling another wave of nausea begin but forcing it down with the anger that was now burning in her gut. She stomped forward. “Fuck you. Wrong fuckin’ night to fuck wi’ me.”

“The hell is wrong with you, bitch? I have a fucking knife!” he waved it again to emphasize his point. “Just fucking give me your watch and whatever jewelry you have and…” His voice was cut off in a silent shout of pain as Nico’s foot found a new target between his legs; a target far softer than the door. As he collapsed, however, his hand holding the knife dropped almost straight down, causing the blade to gouge a trench through his attacker’s leg.

Nico screamed and brought her knee up into the falling man’s face. “You fucking asshole!” She cried. “Don’ fuckin’ fuck with me when I’m fuckin’ pissed off! Ow! Ow! Owww~~…” She whined, also collapsing to the pavement.

“What’s going on?” A voice called from the street outside the alley.

“Oh, my god!” another cried out.

“Someone call the police!” the first shouted.

“I’m calling an ambulance!” a third announced.

“Nicocchi!”

Through tear blurred vision, Nico looked up. “Yer not Nozomi…” She slurred.

“What happened?” Eli asked, kneeling beside her friend.

“I’m fine… I’m…” the drunken girl cut off as she tried to hold down whatever wanted to come up.

“We need to apply pressure to your leg.” Nozomi said, pulling a cloth from her purse. “I’m going to use this. It’s going to hurt when I tighten it.”

“I tol’ ya I’m…”  her head lulled to the side.

“Elicchi, I got this. It sounds like an ambulance is already on the way. Do you have Nicocchi’s mother’s number?”

“I don’t think so…”

“We can dig through her phone for the number later. For now, just call Maki-chan and have her meet us at the hospital.”

“Maki-chan?” the name caused Nico to perk up a bit. “Tell ‘er…” A sloppy grin creased her lips. “Hey, Eli, Eli, hey, tell ‘er, tell Maki-chan she’s annoying… Gah!”

Nozomi tightened the handkerchief.

No.

Maki ended the call.

No. No. No. No. No!

She threw her phone in her purse.

How did this happen?! What if it’s serious?!

She bolted for the door.

Nozomi said she was unconscious when they put her in the ambulance! What if she doesn’t wake up?!

Maki ran down the hallway of the dorm.

Nico-chan!

“Nozomi! Eli!” Maki called, walking swiftly through the hospital ward, resisting the urge to run.

“Ah, Maki-chan!” Nozomi waved upon noticing the approaching redhead. “Nicocchi is in surgery. The wound isn’t life threatening, but it sounds like it will require stitches.”

“Who’s the surgeon?”

Nozomi shrugged.

Of course, she wouldn’t know. Not her fault, most people wouldn’t think to ask.

“I’ll be right back.” Maki excused herself and made her way to the reception desk.

“Ah, Maki-chan!” the middle-aged woman greeted with a smile. “What brings you in this late at night?”

“Hi, Miyuki.” Maki responded. “I’m looking for information about a friend of mine.”

A look of concern crossed the woman’s face. “Oh, dear, I’m sorry to hear that.” She slid her chair closer to her computer. “Your friend’s name?”

“Yazawa Nico.”

“Yazawa…” She typed in the information. “Stab wound. She’s being prepped for surgery now.”

“Who’s on duty tonight?”

“Uhm…” She opened a different screen. “Dr. Hashimoto.”

“Oh, good…” Maki breathed a sigh of relief. “He’ll take good care of her.”

“Want me to have someone contact you when they’re done?”

“Yes, please.”

“Alright. Hang in there, Maki-chan. Your friend is in good hands.”

“I know. Thank you.”

Maki turned and trudged back to where her other friends were waiting.

“Everything alright?” Eli asked as the redhead approached again.

“Yeah. Dr. Hashimoto is on duty tonight.” Maki gave a weary smile. “He’s one of our best.” She sat down next to Nozomi. “What happened?”

“Well…”

Nico opened her eyes and stared at an unfamiliar ceiling. Where…?

Pain.

Of course, she must be in the hospital now. A quick glance around confirmed this; she was dressed in a gown, laying on a bed with metal rails, and had an IV needle in her arm. Her leg was raised and it hurt. A lot.

“Nico-chan?”

Her head turned towards the chair near her bed where a girl with violet eyes stared worriedly at her.

“What are you doing here.” Not a question; an accusation.

“Wha…” Maki recoiled in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You ignore me for days, but then come running when I’m here?”

“Well, yeah… I…”

“You what?”

“I was worried about you!” the redhead said, plaintively. “Eli didn’t know how bad it was when she called me, but there was a lot of blood, you were unconscious, a-and drunk and… Who wouldn’t be worried?”

“Yeah, well I’m fine now.”

“No, you’re not.” Maki shook her head. “Do you have any idea how lucky you are?”

“I’m alive, aren’t I?”

“Exactly! You’re alive. But I talked with Dr. Hashimoto. Do you know how close that knife came to your femoral artery?”

“No. What’s that?”

“Nico-chan, if that guy had nicked that, you could have bled out before the ambulance even arrived!”

“Yeah, well he didn’t. Like I said, I’m alive.”

“What were you thinking, attacking an armed man?”

“Why do you care?”

Maki gaped as she was caught off guard by the question.

“No, seriously, why do you care, Maki?” Nico crossed her arms and stared at the younger girl. “You’re always nosing around in my business, yelling at me about my grades, calling me an idiot. How did you find out about that last test anyway?”

“You are an idiot.” Maki growled, her eyes narrowing.

“Yup, that’s me.” She held her hands up in her signature gesture. “Nico-nii the idiot idol who gets bad grades, gets drunk and attacks men with knives!” She dropped her hands. “Fuck you, Nishikino.”

“What the hell?”

“You heard me.”

“Yeah, I did.” The redhead stood up, clenching her teeth. Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry now. “I’m leaving.”

“Good. Get the hell out of here.”

“Good bye, Yazawa.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“Maki-chan?” Nozomi looked up to see the younger girl walk by swiftly. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going home.” Maki said over her shoulder. “Oh…” As she turned her head back, she nearly ran into another woman. “I’m sorry…” She paused as she recognized Nico’s mother. Having had to come in from out of town, she must have just arrived. “Ni… You’re daughter’s going to be fine, but I, uhm… I have to go.”

Without another word, Maki side-stepped the older woman and headed for the exit.

Author’s Note Continued: And now I get to make some retcons to reference the injury Nico has sustained and some of its longer term implications. Yay... Once I figure out what they are, I will list the links here.

Also, I headcanon that at least a handful of staff at the hospital refer to Maki informally since they’ve know her practically all her life. And Maki meets the informality in turn. By the time Maki finally becomes a doctor and begins her residency, said informality is so ingrained in their interactions that anything else feels strange. I may actually write a short scene at some point in which a staff member, quite possibly Miyuki since I introduced her here, addresses the young doctor formally and Maki requests that the informality continue.

[chanlyeya]

I'm a huge fan of your Black Rune fic, and Tomorrow was hilarious. You've mentioned having some original works; any chance you might be willing to share some? ^^

:OOOOOOO

OMG Nonnie! That is so sweet of you (ɲ˃ ˈ̫̮ ˂ɳ) ~ෆ I’m so glad you enjoy my little forays into self indulgent fics, but I’m even more honoured about the questions on my original works :;(∩´﹏`∩);:

As @foolish-identity can tell you, I have a looooot of them, and they are all relatively complex, so I’ll put this under a read more:

There are a few I have hidden away somewhere on my laptop, but there are five major ones I’ve been working on that are much more fleshed out then the others. And they are loooooong.

One I refer to as the “indulgence series”, as, should I ever finish it and get it published, I will separate it into seven separate books, all named after a sin—it follows the story of my boy Cadence, in a world where what are basically demons exist, and he gets taken in by a Nightwalker—what people who hunt them down are referred to as. Cadence himself doesn’t become a Nightwalker, but due to certain aspects of him, he finds himself in the centre of a huge conflict. I don’t want to go to into detail, because than I may as well write you an essay, but I’m excited about this for a couple of reasons—a) Cadence is autistic, but that is not the important part of his personality. I wanted to provide some more representation with autism, and it fits with his character; b) all the main “relationships” are inter-generational—the four main characters are each several years apart from one another, but are all close like brothers. (And by several years I mean; Cadence, who is the youngest, is 15—Breckinridge, who is the eldest, is 52); and c) Cadence is an unreliable narrator, which I adore—in fact, Noct in BR is practice for Cadence’s POV, low key revealing things the reader doesn’t even think to register ;D

The next is one I like to call Iconoclast, and is the opposite of Indulgence in that while all main characters in Indulgence are male; all main characters in Thief are female. This one is in a world where, thanks to a mutation generations ago, have people separated between the Marked and Unmarked. This one is full of superpowers and morally ambiguous choices—a Marked literally has a mark on their body (hence the very creative name), and have superpowers, though everyone has their own unique one. Due to this disparity in power, there is a huge rift between the Marked, who consider themselves “superior” and the Unmarked, who consider themselves “pure humans”. Needless to say; things get ugly. The main character is Jean—someone who is Marked but doesn’t have any powers, so she’s got the worst of both worlds (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ✧ Eventually, it’s discovered that SHE does have a power—and that is to siphon the powers of anyone she kills. It becomes a big moral debate for her, as she has the ability to save the world, but will have to kill others to do so, as some perverse form of sacrifice. I’m excited for this one for a) the socio-political exploration between the two factions; b) the all female who are each their own badass in their own way (girl power ftw!); and c) the moral ambiguity Jean will have to wade through.

Next we have one with no magic, but is more of a political intrigue; nature vs nurture type story, I like to call Tumbling Into Obscurity. It follows Nergui—who became Empire after the death of his best friend and beloved would-be Emperor; Eximius (Indie was given her name as a homage to my original works…and because I like it). Due to the way everything worked out (the emperor is chosen based on the old ottoman way—a competition until there’s only one left standing. Eximius was going to become the first emperor who got into power by convincing his opponents to drop out rather than kill anyone—Nergui was the last one in the competition, and Eximius died just before he dropped out), the general populace hates him, thinking he’s behind the death of Eximius (who was basically their messiah-like figure), he’s been distanced from his family, because he believes THEY killed him, and in general he’s just been isolated; but he still works towards fulfilling Eximius’ dreams of improving the living conditions of the regular folk and all that jazz. Then, it turns out Eximius DIDNT actually die—but what he went through in the few decades since he disappeared had completely changed him, and Nergui figures it out when he catches him attempting to assassinate him. He’s been so twisted, in fact, he doesn’t even remember BEING Eximius, and is adamant that he is Izel, an entirely different person. This one I’m looking forward to for a) political intrigue—I love that shit so much; b) the duality of Eximius and Izel—whether are not they are even the same person; and c) Nerguis own struggle over whether he is doing the right thing looking for the old Eximius in Izel, or whether it would be better to accept him as he is now. (Nergui and Eximius/Izel may or may not be a couple too—I haven’t yet decided ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

I call the next Temerarious, but it’s really just a placeholder name. This one is a sci-fi post apocalyptic story where a highly contagious, currently untreatable disease has infected the world, which basically turns people into wendigos. Unlike most “zombie apocalypses”, the world is not overrun by them—but the entire world is basically under martial law; and the “zombies” in question are conscious of everything they do—it’s just, they get hungrier the more they eat and eventually it becomes bad enough that they would eat ANYTHING, including loved ones, to try and sate it. On top of everything, the world’s environment has gone to shit—it is uninhabitable unless you live in the “domes” they’ve created around cities and designated agriculture area—and the only way between places is underground where everything is strictly monitored to catch the strain at the smallest level—even if it does have a 73% false positive rate, at least it hasn’t had a false negative. So, as you can imagine, should one area get infected, it can spread easily enough to forsake an entire city, so all districts are built to be put in a lockdown on any moment—and if you’re not infected but on the wrong side of the walls when they go up, you’re screwed xD. There’s a group of people who, for some reason (learning why is part of the plot), don’t get the negative side effects of the disease, but they’re still carriers, so, they’ve created a society known as the Underground, and those people work as Sweepers—it is their job to head into contaminated areas and wipe out any infected there, since they’re the only ones so can come into contact and not contract the disease. The entire plot is revolving these guys and their attempts to cure this disease ^^. Why am I excited for this one? While, a) the stigma and strain of being the good guy—Sweepers risk their lives for the rest of humanity, but are shunned because they’re carriers of this disease and they can spread it just as easily as the infected; b) the relationships between the characters!—due to them being carriers, they are basically isolated from all but a select few, and the complexity of the many different aspects between their relationships in a limited space; and c) the ambiguity of the enemy. The enemy is a disease and misinformation, so it will require a different approach to solving it.

And lastly, what will be my magnum opus, I refer to as Beyond the Gates. I just…I can’t even summarize this, it’s a blend of nearly everything I love, and while I loooooooove talking about BTG, it’ll take forever to even start explaining the concept of the plot, so I’ll just skip to what I’m excited about. A) THE WORLD!—I’ve been building the world for BTG for nearly a decade now, and OMG and am I excited to write in this world as it’s so complex~; b) THE CHARACTERS: I’ve spent just as long fleshing out these characters as I have the world—the cast is HUGE, but each character is distinct and plays their role in the over arching story; and c) just….the plot. It is full of twists, intrigue, betrayal, death, identity crises, choices….GAH! Just….everything I want in a book but haven’t been able to find; I want to MAKE it!

Anyways; these are my main ones—I don’t want to go too in detail either, because I aim to actually get these published one day, and if I do, I would like for them NOT to be easily accessed online prior to their release ␟␏(ɲ˃ ˈ̫̮ ˂ɳ)␟␏ෆ

Thank you sooooooo much for the ask; I looooooooove talking about my original works and original characters! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ✧