#at this point the rhys i draw is so far from canon

[knoxcountry]

𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓸 𝓫𝓻𝓸❤️

my rhys pony on ponytown show him some love

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

Why you care so much about what feyre and her stans are doing🤔

you know, im actually very glad you sent this in anon, though i know it wasn't sent in good faith. when i say feyre 'stans' - i am being 100% sarcastic. my argument is that i don't believe the people who peddle the idea that they hold feyre to be first actually believe that ideal. i also believe they end up purposely derailing actual conversations about abuse, feminism, and racism bc they don't want to actual critique rhys, so they end up selling much more intentional bs to avoid the conversations all together,

as to why that matters - i can explain.

(1) i think a lot of people who work under the idea that they like feyre 'first' believe that a female perspective = feminist. in theory, i believe a lot of rhys stans subconsciously (or consciously) understand that his actions are villainous (to some capacity). like they do understand that there's only so far they can actually support sexual assault. i think a lot of people use feyre to circumvent this issue: if feyre agrees or even likes the abuse, then it cancels out the implication of the it. and this partially because the book flocks to do the same thing - it never introspects about what x character's actions say about them as a character. think about it - even if we work with the idea that rhys doesn't enjoy the abuse he put feyre through, going as far as to reiterate that he feels shame -- we have to question why the story responds to that with plainly stating that feyre actually enjoyed the abuse and/or felt genuine attraction rhys in those moments. because then it (a) removes the idea of moral-greyness; rhysand never has to reflect because the story always believes he secretly justified. (b) there should still be a conversation about what that means. the mating bond operates as both a justification and a rebuke of feysand's actions (c) it puts into question what the story is actually arguing about feyre's trauma from utm. if feyre always secretly wanted rhysand utm...so much to unpack there. we're not genuinely rebuking abuse. and that's fine if you're drawing a scene or simply entertainment - it becomes worrisome when we considered that there is a lesson being put forth.

(2) people who use feyre as the scapegoat to often time sidestep conversations. feyre's narration is only considered when it validates rhysand's abuse - other times, the idea that we should consider canon wholly (analyze the information we're given v. what we're told) becomes nonexistent. so even though feyre has reiterated her boundaries to rhysand (and even though rhys is already aware of those boundaries via his mental snooping), there still this need to 'hear things from rhys side' - even though we know what feyre choice would have been. we know that feyre would have never wanted that information kept from her. its literally been her only consistent trait- don't lie. and as i said in this post: even the act of creating the intervention undermines three books of feyre's narration cementing her boundary.

(3) 'feyre stans' often hijack the conversations; the conversation about racism (and rhys's absue) always stalls because -- AGAIN -- there's only so much analysis they can happen before you realize the problem is both sjm's ideology and her obsession w/ rhys. at some point they always end up defending sjm (and her racism and misogyny). there's a struggle between actual unpacking rhysand's action and what that means for him as a character. they do want to have the serious conversations, just not in a way that detrimental or all-encompassing. selective reading, plain and simple.

i also believe thats why there so much overblown hate for tamlin (that in my opinion, backfired terribly esp over the last three years) is merely insecurity about the problems w/ rhys's charcater. morally, there only so many conversation we can have before the weirdness rears it head. we can't argue tamlin is abusive and then in the same breadth argue for the neccessity of the same form of abuse. we can't argue that rhys is morally-grey and then ignore the greyness area. we also cannot say rhys grows as a character if we argue that he never grows from the person we met utm. we can't say that we 'recognize' he was wrong, but then constantly uplift those very moments as moments of love. we can't say sjm has racial/moral in her story and then remove how that effects more favorable characters.

[gwyns]

https://www.tumblr.com/freyjas-musings/742671202419605504/im-just-curious-but-why-artists-draw-azs-shadows

https://www.tumblr.com/freyjas-musings/742670976839483392/i-just-cant-deal-with-elriels-anymore-they-want

I agree with these posts! I’ve seen so much fan art of Azriel’s shadows interacting with Elain even thought they skitter away from her and e/riel’s are saying that she will make his shadows go away, but in the beginning of his bonus chapter he talks about how his shadows will always be there with him.

They bring up how his shadows disappear around Mor, and it’s good since he had ( some e/riel’s believe he’s over her🤡) feelings for her, but that happened in ACOMAF when Mor & Azriel were originally supposed to be endgame. They were close with each other and had a deep friendship. His shadows vanishing, at that time since Mor who was his love interest, was probably a good thing and could be looked at differently, however in ACOWAR this obviously changed. Mor has to walk on eggshells with Azriel now. Proof of this is her pov in ACOFAS.

So Azriel’s shadows disappearing around Elain and e/riel’s thinking it’s a good thing because they do that with Mor, who is cautious around him, isn’t actually a good thing in my opinion. But they���ll argue left and right that this is good and that Elain makes his shadows calm, but there’s no canon text that she does make his shadows calm.

However, Azriel’s shadows had calmed, seemed content to watch him interact with Gwyn, which is actually stated by Azriel in his chapter, (and actually appeared to want to stay). They interacted with Gwyn in a positive way. I believe Azriel’s shadows are sentient and an extension of his soul. I think his shadows can sense the mating bond. Not saying that it’s snapped, because I most definitely don’t think it has, but I think it’s in the beginning stages. His shadows sense something is there. Which I think is interesting especially since a few days after Solstice we have that whole scene of Gwyn cutting the ribbon (👀), Azriel’s shadows also dancing again when she asked about a prize, Nesta calling Az the new ribbon, and his interactions with Gwyn pick up. When Gwyn was kidnapped for the Blood Rite (along with Emerie & Nesta) Azriel did react contrary to with e/riel’s say. His shadows AND siphons deepened. There was nothing him or Cassian could do though. Hell, even Rhys couldn’t do anything if they asked him. But both of them trusted in the girls to complete it. They showed their faith and support in them.

I think e/riel’s forget that the bonus chapter took place in the middle of the book, and Az’s interactions with Gwyn pick up after Solstice. Azriel and Elain have not interacted with each other (as far as we’ve seen on page unless it’s happening off page) since Solstice. I don’t think Azriel and Elain are having that secret-forbidden romance (there’s honestly nothing forbidden about it), because SJM writes her romances (and develops) them on paper where the readers can actually read it. Having a romance off page (that isn’t developed) isn’t her writing style. Azriel does say in HOFAS he doesn’t have a mate, but Gwynriel’s are fine with that, because we get to actually see their relationship develop. We get to see them become friends, we get to see them fall in love with each other, we get to see the mating bond snap.

I don’t think Azriel’s shadows interacting with Gwyn like that is her being evil as e/riel’s love to claim. Didn’t his shadows warn him about Koschei and the Cauldron? Surely they would do the same if Gwyn was evil. He felt a spark in his chest, which is how a mating bond is described and if you look at other mated couples, the bond is described to be a song between the souls. The wording with Gwynriel is so similar to other mates, especially Bryce and Hunt.

i agree! it's common knowledge at this point that e/riels steal from the other ships but then try to act as if they thought of it first when, no honey, 1. there's timestamp proof and 2. no e/riel has ever been that creative or paid enough attention to canon to develop widely fanon accepted things

even if moriel wasn't meant to be a thing (and tbh i've always been iffy on it. even back in the acomaf days i didn't really see it on both ends, and i swear a fan at a signing said sjm was surprised people shipped them but meh that's a topic for another day. maybe lol), sjm made certain to show us the difference in his shadows around these two women and tell us how deeply az values them. how they're his closest friends, how they're an intrinsic part of him, how they're not going anywhere. if once, them vanishing was a good thing, it's clear that's no longer the case. hence why they want the shadows to love elain but i'm sorry, that's just not happening lmfao

in my opinion, love is kind and sure and calm so the fact that az's shadows calm around gwyn is a huge green flag. like az is stressed af all the time! he needs to be able to come home and be at ease, to relax and just be az. without all the fancy and terrifying titles. we got this in his bonus chapter and they're trying to say it doesn't mean anything? really?? bffr

the "you're the new ribbon, az" is such an endgame indicator in my opinion. like nesta is telling us that gwyn has her sights set on az and we know how determined gwyn is. it's over for the bread and roses ship, if it wasn't already lol. the thing is, gwyn is a sexual assault survivor, az would never dream of coming on too strong with her so if anything happens between them, the ball is in her court. and then we have az who is canonically attracted to unavailable women, whether that's a coincidence, or some subconscious thing that ties into his low self worth... i don't know but to me, it fits perfectly together. gwyn will be the one making moves on him, or at least be the one to take that first, big step, and i think that will be huge for az who constantly feels he's not worthy or good enough

regarding the blood rite and the "forbidden" romance, there's nothing of substance there. just e/riels lacking critical thinking skills as always. if rhys couldn't do anything to get the girls out, what the fuck was az supposed to do? and no one is stopping e/riel from seeing each other except az himself so... you know. clearly he doesn't care about seeing her that much

why e/riels love the idea of every major moment of their ship developing off page, i'll never know. if i were an e/riel, i'd be so pissed. the fun of romance novels is seeing the characters come together and fall in love. and sjm knows that too, clearly, she's a romance author for christ's sake lol. she's not going to have these characters fall in love, move in together and get pregnant off page. no way in hell. that's also why they can't understand that gwynriels are perfectly content with that "he wouldn't consider her a friend but..." or whatever line because, like you said, that means we'll get to see them become friends. then lovers. then mates. why wouldn't you want that?

az's shadows know everything, that's why he's such a valuable spy. they tell him things he couldn't otherwise know. that's literally explained in the books. i believe they're sentient too, they tell him to sleep when he needs to so they obviously care for him, if gwyn were a danger to az, they would absolutely warn him. also the gwyn is secretly evil theory is shit because she's in part based off of sjm's irl friends and her villains are pretty two dimensional. so yeah, that's never happening lmao. even if (big if) gwynriel doesn't happen, gwyn is safe, so they just look stupid as hell talking about "evil gingers" or whatever the fuck they say these days.

i think that after so many books, true sjm fans know when she's working her mate bond magic. no matter how much others cry about it, sjm is a fated mates author. don't like it? go find someone else's books to read. it's as simple as that

[acourtofthought]

Would you prefer Elucien in Spring Court or Day Court??

I'm so torn. On one hand, I'd like for Elain and Lucien to bring the magic back to Spring and unify its people. Lucien knows it's people, but he's lost their trust (because of what happened with Feyre, but I think he could overcome it, and I think that's where Elain comes in, she's described as someone who can light up a room and people naturally like her.

I think the spring court would love Elain.

But what draws me to Day Court is just new location and worldbuiding, we already read about Spring, I want to read about other courts so bad lol, but I can do see SJM bringing things full circle in the series and concluding with Spring with Elucien. But if Lucien is the heir of Day, why set up that plot if he isn't going to be HL,

But no matter what I love that SJM has given Elucien TWO possible outcomes based on canon evidence and possible foreshadowing, three if you count the continent 🤗🤗🤗

Either way, SJM has set up their story.

I would prefer Elain and Lucien in Day Court for all the reasons you mentioned and the aesthetic (how incredible is Elucien Day Court fanart, right?). Not to mention the Spring Court is a reminder of unpleasant times for Lucien while the Day Court is a new beginning.

But......if SJM is keeping Helion around then I'm not sure what they'd be doing in Day.

For me it's not enough to say, "well, just let them chill and relax for a few centuries". Lucien has been the sidekick for far too long, the right hand man, the "son of a High Lord" waiting to have purpose, and I think it's time for him to step into being a leader. I don't really like the thought of him as the Crown Prince in waiting in Day and I feel the same for Elain, where she ends her book waiting for a greater purpose that won't come about for centuries.

Feyre ended her series as the High Lady of the Night Court.

Nesta ended her book knowing she's the leader of a group of female warriors.

Their stories both ended with them in a clearly defined role and not, "well someday when this character dies, they'll step into that role".

I want Elucien's book to end with them reaching their potential and not just left open ended for what they'll someday accomplish. Things could change in the next book but as it stands, there's no place for Elucien in Day at this time, there's no void needing filled. Helion is an extremely likeable character, SJM said she's obsessed with him and he and the LoA have an unfinished love story so I don't think he's going anywhere or expendable.

But when you look at Spring....it's current High Lord killed his own sentries back when Mor took Feyre away from there. He allied with Hybern which caused his people to lose trust in him. He chose Ianthe time and again, causing further uncertainty in him within his court. In the novella and SF, we're told he no longer cares for his people at all, leaving his borders unattended, refusing Rhys's help for guards to be stationed at his borders (sorry but no matter how much he hates Rhys, he should care more about the safety of his lands and accept the help. Even Rhys would have allowed Amarantha to continue using him if it meant saving their world), turning a blind eye to the lawlessness within Spring.

I have no doubt that Elain and Lucien are going to be the ones to turn Spring around.

But is that so Tamlin can find his way back as ruler? Would it be believable that his people would even WANT to follow him again at this point? In my opinion the answer to that is no. I think he's abandoned his people and been too volatile for far too long for anyone to respect him again as a ruler.

But Elain and Lucien......

Not only was there the major hint that Spring had been MADE for someone like Elain but Lucien is also tied to the magic of the land through the Great Rite. Lucien expressed sorrow at not being able to return to the lands outside of Tamlin's manor because the people believed him complicit in the lies Feyre told. He also expressed sadness over Tamlin's court not turning out the way he once hoped it would.

But he and Elain could turn the court into everything the people need and everything he wanted.

I also don't think SJM just casually threw in that the position of HL can jump bloodlines when necessary for no reason at all unless she plans on replacing Rhys and Feyre in the NC (which I don't see as happening especially as they now have Nyx).

As Lucien is Helion's bloodline, it doesn't apply for Day.

I'm pretty sure Eris is going to be HL of Autumn and he's the rightful son of Beron.

I can't imagine Tarquin going anywhere either, he's likeable and a new HL set on making the world a better place.

And the other courts aren't a major focus at this time.

So why would SJM have given us that information unless she was building up what's going to happen in Spring. Tamlin is the only HL (outside of Beron) that really needs to go.

I think SJM, being a girl power author, is probably looking to shake up the system of the HL too. Why couldn't the magic choose a High Lady for once? Elain is not ready to rule over a court on her own of course but Lucien, as her mate, could easily stand beside her and help her. Just like Rhys walked Feyre through the process of High Lady of the NC. Lucien has literally trained for the role his entire life and spent centuries beside Tamlin in what was basically an apprentice like role.

If you think back on ACOTAR, Tamlin was no more fit to be a High Lord than Elain would be High Lady (though Elain's natural ability with people already sets her apart from him). Tamlin never wanted to be HL so he turned his back on the teachings of how to rule yet ended up in the role whether he wanted it or not.

And maybe, Lucien will also add the High King role to his bag of tricks. I don't think it's a role that one steps into unless it's during times of extreme unrest, I don't think he gets to command other courts during times of peace but he does seems to be best suited to unify all the courts and the human lands when there are major issues threatening them all.

Centuries later when Helion is ready to step down maybe Lucien will step into his role of High Lord of Day. By that time I imagine he and Elain will have children, one of who might be ready to come into power in Spring.

For me, that's the scenario that makes the most sense with what we've been given and knowing that she loves Helion. Maybe some new information will be introduced in the next book and it'll change my stance but as it stands I can't imagine her killing off Helion and I can't imagine Tamlin being redeemed to the point that his court is happily ready to accept him as their leader once again.

[offtorivendell]

'Problematic' double standards

Trigger warning: discussion/mention of ACOTAR's canon-typical violence and death.

Disclaimer: I am not anti any character. I love Feyre and Cassian, even Rhys (though he's currently on my shit list); I like Lucien, too. With Eris, I'm cautiously open-minded, but withholding judgement until we know more. This post is purely to point out that Azriel seems to be held to a higher standard than others who have actively had - and expressed - violent thoughts. I understand that everyone has opinions that are informed by our own lived experiences, and that is perfectly understandable.

Please take note of the reference numbers for the relevant explanations further down. Feel free to keep scrolling, if this isn't your thing.

Cassian

Cassian¹ independently pondering whether he should, hypothetically, strangle Eris, or slit his throat - all because Eris wanted to ask Nesta for her hand in marriage² - is, apparently, fine. I haven't seen anyone declare that it is 'problematic' or 'toxic,' though I acknowledge that I could have missed it, especially because I'm not part of the fandom on other social media platforms. At the very least, it hasn't received nearly the same level of coverage in the online fandom as Azriel’s supposed 'toxicity' in saying he could easily defeat Lucien in the Blood Duel.

Feyre

Feyre¹ suggesting to Rhys, also unprompted, that they throw Eris to the beasts under the Hewn City 'to be done with him' was, again, not largely seen by the fandom as 'problematic' of her, but rather as the off-handed comment it was (likely) intended to be.

Azriel

But Azriel responding to a topic that Rhys brought up, namely that Lucien¹ would have the right to invoke the Blood Duel - ie. Az would only be participating to defend himself - is where people³ have decided to draw the line?

1. My inclusion of Cassian and Feyre in this post was not done with the purpose to criticise either of their thoughts or words, as I (and, I hope, others) know that they weren't seriously intending to initiate any harm against Eris. They are two of my favourite characters, so please don't think that I have issues with them myself; SJM writes imperfect, morally grey protagonists, and Feyre and Cassian, all heart and soul and action, embody that very well.

Likewise, I highly doubt that Lucien himself would call a Blood Duel over Elain, regardless of whether he was in love with her or not; he doesn't strike me as that sort of person. If a Blood Duel happens between Lucien and Azriel - and I'm not certain it will either way, because I can see both sides, so for now I'm not placing any bets - I suspect it would be because of Beron's machinations, using Lucien to get to Elain, and her Cauldron-gifted powers.

2. Ironically, Rhys said to Eris that marrying Nesta would not be Eris' choice, but Nesta's own; yet, only the next day, he is restricting Elain’s ability to choose for herself by pulling rank on Azriel, and forbidding him from pursuing her, even after she consented to both his romantic attention and intentions.

3. I simply wanted to highlight the difference in the fandom's reception between each of the passages, especially because Azriel’s statement is quite mild compared to the more graphic nature of Cassian’s thoughts and Feyre’s words (and again, I'm not criticising either of them) of slit throats, strangulation, or being fed to a pit of beasts. There seems to be a pattern of Azriel thinking or saying or doing something similar to another character (ie. Feyre at the High Lords' meeting), but it is interpreted in a more negative light.

This is not to say that Azriel will be a perfectly behaved character; he will (most likely) be morally grey, as they all are. He will have issues that he needs to face, and overcome, like everyone else in the series, but it blows my mind that Azriel simply said 'defeat,' and he's being compared to Tamlin when, so far, he has just been as protective as Rhys and Cassian.

[elriel-oblivion]

In Defence of Elriel (I suppose bc I don't really know what this post is lol)

I've been thinking about how elriel are actually such a wonderful ship in my eyes. Of course, I'm biased to them at this point, but a lot of people say Elain and Azriel don't fit well since neither would help the other grow because they'd be a boring couple who don't talk or do anything interesting. And I have two thoughts on that: (this is not against elucien in any way, it's just in favour of elriel 😅😅)

First, we've barely seen them as characters, and not even from their own povs, so I don't think it's fair to judge what they can and can't do for one another just yet 😅

Second, from the few tidbits we have seen, Elain - for all the meekness and passivity everyone seems to associate her with - seems to be one of the only people who can get straight through to Az on another level without trying or making him uncomfortable.

She gives love so freely, it's natural to her to show kindness, so I doubt she thought twice or felt hesitation when she called Az's hands beautiful. And I doubt people generally have the guts to comment on his hands in his presence anyway.

Not to mention the blush that blossomed on his cheeks straight after. To me, it sounds like he doesn't get genuine compliments much, and most people fear him anyway, so imagine drawing attention to a part of himself he's insecure about, a part he can't even hide because it's on full display. I don't think that's an easy feat, especially for someone who's barely acquainted with him. So for Elain, this fawn-like girl, to comment - breathe - about his scars so easily, like she was looking at a piece of art, isn't something that should be overlooked, in my opinion. She saw beauty in him from the get go where he sees none.

Then there's her Solstice gift to him. Not only was she observant enough to notice his headaches, but even Feyre mentioned she hadn't heard such a laugh from Azriel before. A laugh in response to Elain. Elain seems to have this effect on him whereby he experiences emotions he usually wouldn't show or let himself feel; I feel as though she untangles something inside him in a way nobody else has done before, and it'd be interesting to see this opposite given the way we saw Rhys help Feyre feel again.

Her interactions with him are so effortless and natural, yet they hint at her ability to see through his cold stone mask and unravel some warmth in him. I think she would be able to show him what love is, all different types, the beautiful and the gritty because she's not only not afraid to get her hands dirty, but she's also strong enough to own up to her mistakes. I feel like she could definitely push back if she thought Azriel was doing something that didn't align with her values - but that's more something I hope to see as part of her character growth out of the passive archetype and into the type of person who learns and knows themselves and isn't afraid to stand up for themselves and their beliefs. As it is, we've already seen Elain display these traits in trickles before, what with her fervour in protecting the humans any way she could.

On the flip side, Azriel actually sees Elain for Elain. Barely anyone sees her, and she knows it too, given how she mentioned it so morosely in ACOWAR. But Az noticed her from the start, from that fork she gripped like a weapon, to her seer abilities. He's the only one who didn't think she was mad - perhaps, save for Nuala and Cerridwen - the only one who is attentive to her needs and willing to help her.

He opens her up during a time when she's completely closed off to the world and probably even herself. She doesn't even understand what's going on in her mind when he reaches a hand through all that chaos with a guiding light and everything just clicks. She still probably wouldn't have a clue she's a seer without Azriel. He asks the right questions, looks at her without judgement and holds her in this space of comfort she doesn't seem to find elsewhere.

And he doesn't seem to harbour any prejudice against her, not even when they first met. He was polite, by nature presumedly, but Cassian's and Rhysand's comments about Nesta's and Elain's lack of support for Feyre weren't ever seconded by Azriel. I'm sure that lack of judgement doesn't go unnoticed by her and serves to make her feel even more comfortable in his presence.

Do I even need to mention when he risked his neck to save her from the Hybern camp? 😅 By this point, he still barely knew her, yet he was instantaneous and steadfast in his decision to get her back. If he can display that kind of support for her even when they're little more than strangers, then it's a wonder how ardent, unrestrained and free he'd be in his love in an open, mutual relationship with her. Of course, that would depend on his growth too, which is why I think they'd work so well together, he learning to love himself and give his love more freely and she learning to take on life with a bit more verve.

Perhaps he wouldn't be the person to push her and tease her the way Rhys and Cassian do to Feyre and Nesta, but Elain is a completely different strain from her sisters; there's always been a stark contrast that Feyre notes repeatedly through the series between Elain and her siblings. So I think it unfair to expect the same arc for Elain and her relationships. Maybe she just needs someone to listen to her, not play and get under her skin to elicit a reaction. And so far, Azriel and the shadow twins seem to be the only ones capable of truly doing so.

He even gave her his own blade, a possession he hadn't let anybody else really touch. And with it, whether she thought she'd do anything or not, she managed to save the fates of her sister and his brother. If that doesn't say he sees her, or sees something in her, then I don't know what does.

So I would love to see Elain and Azriel push and pull at each other, but not in this chaotic, hate-to-love trope we keep seeing in the series. I think they would wind and untangle and bloom different parts of the other whilst working through the forests of their own souls, teaching each other when to cut away one thorn and healing through the pain of another. I imagine their relationship would be like tending a garden, with care and love and a capability for seeing the beauty within the soil, the beauty that could be with the right nurture. Yes, there would be blood, sweat and tears, but ultimately, the reward would be worth the hard work. Because both have a lot of darkness on the inside that's buried so deep, both have tangled histories to sort through, yet both see the other, see potential, in ways nobody else does. And I think it would be lovely to see them grow on that journey together 🥰

Okay, so maybe a little more than two thoughts haha 😅 But most of this is just an extension of that second thought 😅 Also, this is my first ever written post on tumblr after thousands of reblogs so 🎉 to me lol. And it's four am so if I made any mistakes about the canon, please tell me so I can correct them 😅😅

[kanejdorogaya]

This is me, an SJM stan reading anti's opinions, and understanding and accepting them. I'm very confused, and I feel guilty for not seeing problems before. I still like them, but they have huge problems.

Part 1: ACoTaR Rhys, Lucien, Tamlin's curse

I used to think antis (specifically sjm) were the weirdest, craziest people finding problems where there were none. But over the last few months, a lot of anti posts have shown up, both here and on my Instagram. At first, I ignored them. But since then I have read wayyy many anti posts, and I see the point they are trying to make regarding a character or the entire storyline. In my defence, I first read these books aged 13. Now I'm almost 18, and I think I maybe understand things more? I see the problems. Here are the problems I find myself most agreeing with (and I'm rereading for ACoSF so I'm drawing from my fresh memory too):

1. Rhys' behaviour in ACOTAR. What kind of a message was a freshly severed head, marked with the Night Court insignia, supposed to give? How do you explain getting a helpless human girl drunk, and then 'dressing' and 'painting' her, and then making her dance in front of very bad faeries and give you a lap dance? He twisted her broken bone, to make her accept his help? Chances are, she would have accepted without that. And he never once apologized for that. Trying to get her angry, to make her feel something is still ok, I guess, but not like this.

2. The entire concept of the 'curse on Tamlin': At its most basic, the curse entails bringing a human girl, who hates faeries, to the Spring Court, forcefully, and then seducing her, and making her fall in love with Tamlin and say it. What if the girl wasn't 'a far cry from ugly' (a canon sentence)? What if she was normal? What if she wasn't someone Tamlin couldn't love? Would she have been cheated in this way?

3. Lucien: Why wouldn't Feyre be more attached to, or attracted to (not that she has to be attracted to someone, but just saying) to the tan, red haired, scarred, sarcastic, funny Fae? Tamlin complimented her damn cleanliness.

Lucien is such a wonderful character in my opinion. But he's so down trodden? He's so invalidated by Tamlin. Tamlin punishes him for speaking out against him. As the Spring Court's emissary, he has little to no sway with Tamlin. That said, if Lucien did not take what was handed to him, if he worked a little harder, he could have helped Feyre out from that suffocating situation. He could have bettered his own standing.

Lucien is always, always punished, to punish Tamlin. Tamlin wants to make peace with Amarantha, Lucien loses his freaking eye, and is scarred forever. Feyre has to have inventive to solve a riddle? Lucien has to be chained and threatened with death. Lucien helps Feyre? Lucien gets whipped.

Lucien coming to get Feyre from the Night Court is misunderstood. I don't blame Feyre for her reaction, because it is a trigger of a dark depressing part of her life. (I'll come to Feyre in another post lol, this one is too long). Tamlin would have no doubt, been beyond enraged in the wake of Feyre's departure. It would have been physically dangerous to be around him. And it is canon, that Lucien is abused by Tamlin and he has no choice once Tamlin has told him to do something. Lucien knows the Night Court as 'sadistic killers' and sees getting Feyre back as a way to getting things back to normal. This is just conjecture, and my theory and I'm not justifying anything, I'm trying to be as neutral as possible.

Lucien is like a symbol of ruined potential. He has been put in the worst of the positions and he has been done dirty.

[hunnybadgerv]

Waking Nightmare | Dragon Age: Inquisition

August 26: A Crossover

(Though I know crossing over two games in the same series is kind of cheating, but that’s what I’m going with. Even though it is kind of canon.)

Summary: Aderyn Hawke does not shy away from either responsibility or sacrifice. Her entire life has been marked by those two traits, why should it be any different when the Champion, the Warden, and the Inquisitor attempt to escape the Fade.

a/n: Thanks to @inuy21 for her encouragement of this piece. I’ve been thinking about this moment and what happens for a long time but never got around to writing it. I appreciate the push friend.

Links: AO3 | FFnet

Waking Nightmare

-1-

“How do we get by?” Alistair yelled, eyes fixed on the mountainous arachnid that sought to keep them from reaching the rift in the fade.

Aderyn didn’t even think about the words that tumbled out of her mouth in reply. “Go, I’ll cover you.”

“No,” he replied. “You were right. The Grey Wardens caused this mess.” With a resigned sigh and narrowed brow, he turned his face toward the nightmarish beast and leveled his shield. His voice held a hint of the type of commanding nature that secured her respect all those years ago. “A Warden must—”

“A warden must help them rebuild,” she argued. When he turned toward her, she looked at him with a softness that bespoke their years of friendship. Her voice mirrored her countenance. “That’s your job, Alistair. Corypheus is mine,” she added, a low growl in her voice as she turned her hardened gaze upon the spider. She really did hate spiders.

The scrapping shrieks escaping the creature’s mandibles echoed off the stone around them. Rhys’ jaw flexed as he stared forward like the rest of them.

“We don’t have time for you to think this through,” she said grabbing the inquisitor’s arm and drawing his attention forcibly, like she used to have to do with Carver. “You have to go, now.”

“Aderyn,” Alistair’s voice sounded like he wanted to argue the point.

“No arguments. Go! Now!”

“Hawke,” Rhys said, his voice cracking.

She stepped past him, holding up her hand as a blinding flash drew the creature’s attention. “I said go!”

The beast reared back in pain and she rushed forward. “Tell Varric, Carver, and Cullen, I’m sorry,” she said, more to herself than to anyone else. Her friend wouldn’t understand, though she knew eventually her lover would. She honestly didn’t know how Carver would react, sometimes he could be as temperamental as he had been as a child.

Still it pained her to leave them, especially like this. She had only reunited with her dear friend and her brother. And finally, she and Cullen seemed to have found a moment in time that allowed them the chance to embrace their relationship more so than any other point in their lives together.

As a pointed foot slammed into the ground behind her, her thoughts returned to the battle at hand. Fate, it seemed, had other plans, ones that did not include her storybook happily ever after.

With the wave of a hand, a bubble shimmered around her and with each careful step forward bolts fired from her staff. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the inquisitor push Alistair through the rip in the Fade. When Rhys looked back at her, she gave him a nod and he stepped through. It crackled and shriek pierced her ears. Eventually the rip snapped shut.

Safe, she thought, just before an explosion and a wave of pressure knocked her off her feet and sent her sailing into the air.

The barrier she’d cast was all the protected her from the initial blast as the shock wave flung her into the ether. It sent her spinning through the brackish green darkness. Righting herself, she closed her eyes and tried what her father had taught her as a child. He’d called it projecting your thoughts. It was how he said he could find her when she dreamed.

Now, she sought others whose minds she might be able to touch in the way he had Bethany’s and her own. She gathered happy memories of Merrill and called her name in her head, trying to reach out to her old friend. Her thoughts turned toward Cullen more than once, despite knowing that the possibility of meeting him in a dream was slim even before he stopped taking lyrium. She thought of the mages Rhys had introduced her to, especially Solas, who spoke long and often of his fade dreaming.

Eventually in silent desperation Aderyn’s mind turned toward Feynriel. They had been on friendly terms, though she did not know him well. She had helped him, encouraged him to find answers about his talent.

No answers came. No connection, even momentary, seemed to reach any mage, though a demon or two answered. Whenever that happened, she closed her mind, letting the winds carry her elsewhere.

She did not know how much time passed as she floated through the more tenuous spaces of the fade, but eventually her path crossed the domain of another. With great care, she set foot upon the stone and took careful steps.

“Let’s try not to wake anything, shall we?” she whispered on a slowly exhaled breath. Even the sound of her own voice sounded strange to her after so much silence.

Pebbles trickled against the stone and sounded as boulders careening downhill to her ears, but still she moved forward, placing one foot in front of the other with careful ease. Every step felt strange in its own way, as she placed her weight on her bones and muscles once again.

After following a winding trail carved through the rocky face of what took the shape of a cliff, Aderyn came to a cavern. She looked behind her, green smoke billowed on roiling waves of black—it was far worse than the sea, she thought. Drift, or continue? she asked herself. With a sigh, she turned toward the cavern. Lighting the tip of her father’s staff, she moved with tense caution. Surely, this is a lair. But for what? That is the question.

It was an answer she truly did not want the answer to. With each step, the light from her staff seemed to grow stronger and stronger until it exploded in a blinding flash.

 -2-

Aderyn groaned, blinking several times in order to gain her bearings. A part of her expected to feel jagged rocks beneath her palms, instead her fingers found only softness and smooth fabric. She sat up with a start, eyes blinking furiously as her vision cleared. Where is the cave? Where am I?

The house was small, familiar, though it took her a moment to recognize it. It was the books on rickety shelves and the painting on the wall that struck her memory.

Lothering?

Her eyes scanned the room. It had to be. Though this wasn’t the room she had shared with her siblings as a girl. It was her parents’. She was in her parents’ bed. Scrambling, she got to the edge and jumped out as if she’d been bitten.

“You’re up,” a deep voice purred behind her. She didn’t even have a chance to turn before thick strong arms looped around her waist. Warm lips pressed a lingering kiss on her neck. Aderyn sank into the embrace that felt far too much like the one she wanted it to be.

“Cullen?” she whispered.

He chuckled. “Who else would it be, dearest?”

Powerful hands turned her, and she found herself looking up into his face. A face she knew so well, eyes that held her with such gentle consideration that she could almost believe it was really him.

“I thought you were going to sleep away the day,” he said, capturing her lips.

Aderyn broke the kiss before she got swept away. Covering her mouth with the back of her hand, she glanced around and took up her father’s staff from near the bookcase.

“Love?” he asked.

“You think me so easily fooled, demon.”

“Aderyn?” he asked.

The opening of the door made the rouse more startling. A young child toddled into the room. Cullen scooped up a girl with her eyes and his curls falling about her shoulders.

“Mama,” she giggled, leaning out of his grasp with chubby little arms outstretched toward Aderyn.

A hollow ache rolled through her belly. Then it backfilled with rage. “Desire,” she spat at the pair, gall dripping from her tone. The staff crackled and smoke filled the cavern.

There was a look of hurt in Cullen’s eyes as Aderyn’s own gaze turned cold. The babe cried out, still reaching for her in desperation as she cried, “Mama, Mama. Ma-ma!”

Though her heart ached to hear those words, the mage knew it was a trick meant to ensnare her. Her disbelief helped the illusion swirl away.

“Your tricks will not work on me. Show yourself, fiend,” she spat.

“There’s no need to be rude,” a smooth, masculine voice called. As it sounded like it came from behind her, Aderyn turned quickly, her long braid whipping through the air. “What is it with you humans?”

Again, she turned. “Why do you hide from a mere woman? Are you a coward as well?”

“But you are no mere woman, are you?” The voice caressed her ear like a lover’s might.

Her body whipped away only to find no one there yet again.

“You, my dearest.” This time it used Cullen’s voice and she could swear she felt his breath upon her neck. “You are the Champion of Kirkwall,” it said, taking on Varric’s ever-present purr this time.

“Your ruse is revealed. I will not fall for your disguises or temptations.”

“Are you so certain, kitten?” it asked in Isabela’s flirtatious lilt. Strong hands pressed over her hips, pulling at her robes as a body curved against her back.

Aderyn broke away, again turning in the foggy darkness. Her eyes darted this way and that as she sought the source. The smoke seemed to swirl around her carrying with it a far too familiar mix of scents—leather, sweat, and the barest hint of grains that she always associated with the linseed oil Cullen used on his sword and his armor. She grounded herself in the ragged ground beneath the thin soles of her boots and the hard shaft of the staff in her hands, refusing to succumb to the creature’s attempts to lure her with the familiar.

“I am not your trophy, demon. I will not let you in.”

“Oh, they all say that. And in the end, they all succumb.” The voice swept past one ear, then the other.

Aderyn cracked the blade of the staff against the ground and a rush of wind blew the mists away, as the stone glowed in a soft light. “I have no time for this nonsense,” she said walking back toward what she thought had been the entrance of the cave, but she found it sealed.

“Others would be offended at your poor manners. But I find you quite intriguing.”

When she turned this time, she saw it. It was the first time she could recall seeing a desire demon that took a masculine form. Like its female counterpart, this demon bore none of the modesty enforced by mortal society. It bore its body openly, except for a swath of luxurious gold-embroidered purple cloth that hung between its muscular legs from scant gold chains that crisscrossed its dark torso. With each step, the chains and pendants hanging from it chimed against smooth skin and firm muscle.

To be sure, there was a beauty about the demon. Its piercing black eyes and sharp features would woo many a heart, but hers remained true and steadfastly engaged elsewhere. And its attempts to play at being the man she loved could not fool her soul, even if her ears and eyes failed to catch the deception at first.

“You are quite lovely still,” the demon cooed, approaching her. His long nails scratched over her shoulder as he rounded her. “And it has been far too long since one with such … vitality visited my lair. The dreaming are one thing,” it said, coming to a halt in front of her. “But the living. You are a treat. It’s been far too long since a visitor got my blood up.”

A hand closed around one of hers and the demon pulled her against it. Aderyn fought it, but it had the element of surprise. She stumbled against its chest, its other arm looping around her. As it pressed against her, the demon added a salacious roll of its hips.

“You’re barking up the wrong robes,” Aderyn replied, shoving at its chest and finally putting some air between them. “What is it? Do all demons truly believe mages are just oversexed and underserviced?” she mumbled, walking away again.

“You won’t find your exit that way either, my dear.”

“Mmhmm.”

“There’s only one way out of this cavern.”

“And I’m sure it’s between your legs,” she called over her shoulder as she strolled along the edge of the cavern, inspecting the stone.

“That’s one way yes,” it purred.

“I swear, you’re truly worse than a sailor whose been at sea for months on end.” When she found an opening, she chuckled. The sound reverberated off the stone.

“And better in, oh, so many ways.” Its voice coasted along the shell of her ear as a light breeze teased at the hem of her robes.

“Sorry to disappoint,” she called as she slipped into the opening. “I’m no Circle mage.”

Aderyn wasn’t foolish enough to think she’d escaped the lusty desire demon. But for several minutes the only sounds she heard were the echo of her own footsteps and breathing in the tight, uneven tunnel. As it twisted and turned, eventually the light from her staff became unnecessary as she approached an outlet.

The demon lay there atop a flat bit of stone that too much resembled an altar. It was draped over it on its side, with its body on display again, even more so than before. As she approached one hand flipped the sheath of purple over its hip and a clawed hand, with fingers a few shades darker than the rest of its skin, stroked the length of its turgid cock.

“Worse than a poorly mannered mabari, who humps the leg of every visitor,” she mumbled. With a laugh, she shook her head at the pitiable demon.

“What does that make you? The bitch in heat?” it asked, wearing a wicked grin.

This demon seemed strange. Most fed off emotions. It behaved like a desire demon, but seemed to thrive off her disdain. She couldn’t figure its motives.

“I have no time to play your games demon.” She walked off trying to keep her response calm and even. Perhaps it would get bored or tire of her, then she could find some way out of this place.

“You won’t find a way to the world beyond. Nightmare controls the tears.”

“Nightmare is no more,” Aderyn said, in a gruff but victorious tone over her shoulder.

“Then so are the rifts.”

“I doubt that,” she said more to herself than to the demon, who had been fondling itself. Coming to an end of the walk way, she hitched up her robes and set to climbing. It was not an easy task, but she was not wholly unfamiliar with how to accomplish it.

Once at the top, she sighed, finding she was no longer alone. The demon stood there, hands on its hips which pressed forward as if to draw more attention to its proud, jutting cock, which was on display once more. Aderyn shook her head. This demon behaved so strangely, she wondered if it had been marooned here on its own by others of its own kind. The creature must be starving, she thought with pity. And perhaps a bit mad.

It glared at her, eyes flashing red. “Do not pity me. I will not suffer the insolence of your kind.” The creature growled and the vibrant fuchsia hair that had curled so delicately over its broad shoulders billowed and took on the aspect of fire. The demon seemed to grow in scale with each step.

Aderyn reacted. In a fluid motion, her hands and body moved with the incantation. In the next step, the demon found first one hoof then the other frozen to the ground. Ice crept up his legs, rooting him in place. With a roar, his fists bashed against the ice. Pointing her staff at him, another incantation tumbled from her lips, like a song to the Maker, and clouds circled above his head. Thunder rolled just before the first bolt of lightning sizzled through the air.

The demon howled in pain and yanking at its leg. It freed one and then eventually the other. A second bolt sparked over its purple skin, causing the demon to stop and convulse in place for a moment as Aderyn scrambled away, over the rocks.

“You will never see them again.”

“What would you know of it? You’re going to die here, demon.”

“As will you,” it growled, moving toward her on all fours. “You’ll die in agony, alone. Never having felt the weight of your lover’s seed in your womb.”

Aderyn lashed out again with a gout of fire, that left the beast screaming. The sound of pain soon turned to laughter, as the beast grew. A massive hand lashed out of the fire and knocked her against the wall. But the mage refused to end at the hands of any demon, especially this one. She called upon the lightning again, sealing the beast in a cage that crackled with energy and drained the power from the creature. Once back to a more normal size, Aderyn circled her hands in front of her chest, gathering an icy ball of energy that crackled with shimmering arcs of lightning. When she let it go, the ice froze the demon as the energy arced through its body. She ran over and swung her staff at the frozen creature. It shattered, raining onto the rocky plateau like a thousand diamonds that tinkled in a symphony.

“Stick that in your empty womb, you uncouth demon bastard,” she said, breath coming heavy. The bits of ice and flesh turned to ash, which the winds lifted and carried away from the floating mountain.

Aderyn dropped to her knees; relief and grief flooded through her. That moment the demon showed her had been pulled straight from the foolish dreams of a girl who knew far too little of the real world, but even still there was a part of her that still wanted those things. Her hands shook and she fisted them in the fabric of her robes to calm her nerves. Eventually her gaze rose again, inspecting the flat peak.

In an instant, she realized that she knew far too little of the Fade. Her father kept she and Bethany close all his life, and even after he died, Aderyn carried on that tradition with her sister. Each night, she would seek Bethany out, and they would wait out the dawn together. Following Bethany’s death, Aderyn wandered a bit, but never too far from the familiar spaces of this strange world. Her other visits to the Fade had only granted her a cursory understanding of the place and served to staunch any curiosity she might have harbored at any point.

“Perhaps I should have read more,” she mumbled, wondering how she was going to get through this, how she was going to find a way out.

Despite the growing worry, which she tried to keep a handle on. Aderyn was determined to find a way out. She stood and walked to the edge of the cliff, considering the swirling darkness. Perhaps she could recreate what happened with the explosion of the rift in Nightmare’s Lair. Sheathing herself in a protective barrier, she aimed her staff at the ground not far away. A fireball hit the ground, the impact tossing her off the edge of the cliff and into the air.

Righting herself, Hawke found herself traveling through the ether again, but at a much slower pace. Next time, she would have to try something else—perhaps a more powerful spell or maybe contain the force in some way. This problem consumed her mind as she waited for another chance to make her escape.

[acourtofthought]

There's is just no way that the cauldron, who in canon really likes Elain to the point of kidnapping her and literally purring whenever she's around, would make a mistake by making Elucien mates instead of El/riel.

The cauldron doesn't do "mistakes". It all comes down to what the couple does. People ignore that the cauldron doesn't match people who are attracted to each other, it matches those who are EQUALS. They ignore the fact that mating bonds are a blessing from FATE, which is literally the reason why basically every male wishes for a accepted mating bond. Lucien loved Jesminda so much, he thought they did share a mating bond. Azriel was hoping and waiting for a mating bond between him and Mor to snap, even though she gave him so many hints that she's not interested in him. Mating bonds are a big deal and suppose to be rare, there's no way that fate would be wrong in mating 2 people just because one person thought he did the math and put 3 brothers, 3 sisters together.

Rhys parents weren't a perfect match because his father decided to not treat his mom like an equal even though they are equals.

The cauldron, fate, loves Elain so I would pretty much believe that Lucien was a gift to her. Not a curse or a mistake. Elain and Lucien not going all in for the mating bond doesn't mean they're poorly matched 💀

If all Azriel did for Elain was mate material then shouldn't Moriel already share a mating bond? You know.. because he loved her for 500 years, feels overprotective over her first, is willing to die and do stuff she likes for her etc? Make it make sense.

And I think the Mor in ACOMAF looks very different from Mor in all the other books and I do think that was purposefully done by SJM. She suddenly made her more intimated by her father and Eris versus book one where she was bold and brazen. She brings into focus how Azriel's actions scare her and make her uncomfortable. She made her need for Sunshine in SF more obvious (drawing parallels between she and Elain's character). And we note that Az acts around Mor the way he's started to act around Elain considering Mor isn't around much (transference anyone?) while also refusing to address his feelings for Mor. The more that SJM creates similarities between Mor and Elain (considering we know the things that bother Elain are the way we see Az act around Mor and is starting to act with Elain), and points out how different his behavior around Gwyn is, it seems clear to me that she's leading us in the direction of Gwynriel. And telling us that these bright, sunshine loving girls who feel bothered by overprotectiveness and obvious aggressive acts are not a match for Az. As far as the Cauldron / Fate and Elain, sure mistakes can happen. But that's not really how the FMC's story is supposed to go. The FMC is supposed to get the best, the ultimate love of a lifetime. Sure, the author told us bonds can be poorly matched but why would she choose to give one of her leading ladies one of those? Why wouldn't she want her to have the ultimate kind of love that both her sisters found?

[acourtofthought]

I don’t mean to gatekeep but I feel like this is a safe space. Not sure if you listen to T Swift, but as a Swiftie and Elucien Stan, I saw this post using the lyrics to her song Daylight for E/riel and I gasped and laughed. You should listen to it!

They used the line “I once believed love would be black and white, but it’s golden” I was like wha? Listen, that song is basically MADE for Elucien with lines like “been sleeping so long in a twenty year dark night but now I see daylight” and “it’s golden, like daylight, you gotta step into the daylight and let it go.” If I were an E/riel Stan I’d cringe so hard about using that song. Sigh. It was just very strange. How do you take E/riel and use it with that song that is very much about how she’s been in the dark for so long but finally she’s stepping out into daylight, and realizing that love is golden and bright?

Anyway, let them be I guess, I’m done now, looking forward to your posts, they’re just the best! 🥰

Thank you so much for your comment at the end! 😍 You know what is odd? I think Taylor Swift is soooo talented but for some reason, I don't really listen to her all that much. The same with Harry Styles. I'll hear one of their songs played on the radio and think how good it is but don't actually go through the effort of downloading it or listening for other songs of theirs I might like. But now I'm definitely going to have to check out Daylight. And I am loving how people are drawing connections from her recent album to Feysand or Elucien, it seems to speak to a lot of fans. I went and pulled up the lyrics and I can see a line in the intro that might have made them think "Az!"

My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in Everyone looked worse in the light There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye Az himself thinks he's done things that are unforgiveable so maybe that's why they first connected him to this song. But "I'll tell you the truth" is definitely not Az. He's not honest with anyone at this point. Not Mor, Rhys, himself, his other friends. He refuses to talk to anyone about the deep important stuff he's struggling with. I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night And now I see daylight, I only see daylight Definitely not an Az line. It's canon that even while he supposedly wants Elain, he still looks at Mor with longing. Not as often as before but he still does on occasion (few and far between is not none). This is 100% an Elucien line. When Lucien finally sees Elain for the (real) first time, he can't breathe when looking at her. Even before he made it to Spring, he told Feyre he was a Mated male and not interested in other females. Elain was depressed in the NC after being made, Lucien was being loyal to her and Az was still looking at Mor with hunger and longing. And "sleeping so long in a dark night"? Elain is in the NC and Feyre notes the gates to her mind are sleeping buds. Luck of the draw only draws the unlucky And so I became the butt of the joke I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now It's brighter now, now This one I don't get for any of them really. Except Az is sort of the wicked which means Elain "trusting the wicked" would be an Anti E/riel line. And Az doesn't suddenly become "brighter" in the day. He is the shadows and likes the shadows. He's always a bit dark. There's no point in trying to take that part of Az away from him just as there would be no point in trying to make Rhys a soft fluffy boy just because he's with Feyre. Rhys will always be a little dark and a little cold and a little calculating regardless of having found his Mate. And I can still see it all (In my mind) All of you, all of me (Intertwined) I once believed love would be (Black and white) But it's golden (Golden) And I can still see it all (In my head) Back and forth from New York (Sneaking in your bed) I once believed love would be (Burning red) But it's golden Like daylight, like daylight Like daylight, daylight Yeah, you can't get more Elucien than this. Elain is light, needs Sunshine, Lucien is Helion's son, Sun personified, Golden Spikes, radiating an inner light, he is "goodness", and sun glinting off the golden of his eye, setting his hair aglow, etc. Yes all the POC characters are described as having golden skin but that's not the same thing as what SJM is telling us about Lucien. I wanna be defined by the things that I love Not the things I hate Not the things that I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night I, I just think that You are what you love How can they think this line has anything to do with Az? Az literally thrives on revenge. His entire persona is defined by the things he hates. Lucien and Elain are two characters who have so many reasons to want revenge against others yet they are extremely optimistic and prefer to not dwell on things like revenge. I'm sorry but I'll never understand why they are trying to turn Az into Lucien. If you start to realize that Elain matches best with a specific type of character then don't try to force the Male who is so opposite of that into a completely different person just to continue believing in your ship.

SJM did not make E/riel Mates for a reason.

[acourtofthought]

Is Lucian poc? I get confused by some peoples talks about the matter. He is initially compared to looking lkke Beron in the first book. But then in book 3 Feyres says he looks like Helion. So to me..he reads as white passing, because I imagine Beron would have killed him off if he was visibly not his. I don’t know. I’m confused. I’d appreciate your input?

To sum it up, Lucien is 100% a POC!

Now to further discuss. I understand your confusion because SJM retconned that. We were told something in book 1 that didn't line up with information presented to us in later books and sometimes your first impression of a character sticks in your head.

Here's the thing though. My little sister is adopted (originally from Guatemala). I'm Caucasian and pale to the point that you can see my veins pretty much all year long (not a good look, let me tell you). My oldest sister, who I am blood related to) has red hair and Amber eyes. My half brother has blue eyes and blond hair. But because my adopted sister and I both share brown hair and brown eyes, we're told we look the most alike and she's been told she looks like our mother without people knowing her background.

She really doesn't look like either one of us but sometimes we humans do this little thing where we like to draw comparisons to what we're familiar with even when we're totally wrong. So it could be said that Feyre, having no awareness of Lucien's real father as it's later revealed, saw Lucien standing next to a man and drew conclusions because she didn't know any better. Not to mention Lucien is mixed. His mother is white (from everything we've been told). When you have someone who is mixed, they can look a whole lot like one parent, a lot like the other parent or a combination of the two. I've seen a bunch of Tik Tok videos of a POC holding what is an extremely pale baby with blonde hair and blue eyes. The captions say they constantly are told their baby must be adopted when they are in fact their biological child. That baby, regardless of which parent they favor in looks is still a POC and will grow up being proud of the race that they received from each parent even if they only look like one of them.

Even though we can provide real world explanations for why Feyre was mistaken in book 1, I think the simple fact is that SJM ended up realizing she needed a new storyline for Lucien. Whether that was because she decided Elain would be his mate and she knew Elain wasn't destined for the Autumn Court or whether she decided she wanted Eris to have a bigger role so she needed to free up the Heir to the Autumn Court Throne, I'm not sure. But she definitely switched his appearance up and that is the one we now should be holding on to as canon.

It doesn't seem like a lot of the characters have suspected at this point so I understand why readers have a difficult time imagining exactly how he looks. Lucien himself doesn't seem to question who his actual father is (though maybe we'll find he suspected in later novels). Feyre and Rhys being face to face with Helion and Lucien managed to put it together but so far it seems they are the only ones and now that they've seen it they can't unsee it so it's become completely obvious to them. Regardless that they are the only ones who have admitted to knowing, that doesn't change that he's a POC though. Even if he looked 100% like the LOA (because, like I said before, people can strongly resemble one parent from a mixed couple), he is a POC. We know he has Helion's nose and smile and a darker coloring that his brothers.

I believe @moononastring made a really great post on how Helion might be of Egyptian descent though I apologize if I am not remembering that correctly. All I can say is whoever he looks like or whether he's a perfect blend of the two, our boy lucked out in the gene pool.

As far as Beron suspecting, they did briefly touch on this in the books. There's a good chance he knows Lucien isn't his (which is why he's always treated him horribly) but to draw attention to it would mean admitting to everyone that his wife stepped out on him which would be more than his ego could bear.